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#you cant touch their food but they can steal yours and theres nothing we can do about it???
apawture · 11 months
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If you're security and are the one protecting the millions of dollars worth of tech and information, you can't even LOOK at a soft chair or a tissue box without getting in trouble, but the blue badges who treat us like shit get to make a trash fire of the place and it's fine. Celebrated even! And then we get blamed for it. Fuck offffff oh my god
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I finally figured out how to send asks on mobile :D Got any headcanons for how Illumi, Hisoka, (plus gon and Killua if it's not too much trouble) would decorate for Christmas? I just think that would be kinda poggers UwU
YESSSS I DO ACTUALLY! CANT WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS GUYS! I decided to just pin this post until the end of December so if anybody else wants any Christmas headcanons I’ll just add it here and I did put extra characters/headcanons because of that reason and if you want me to add anybody else just send in a request about it! (also dont mind the random juiceboxes I just left them out bc I don’t feel like adding new ones when adding random hc’s.) THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING! I’ll finish illumi and hisoka later but my food just arrived so I’m gonna go start on that first :)
Hunter x Hunter Christmas Event! This Event Includes The Main 4, The Adult Trio, The Phantom Troupe, The Zoldyck Family, The Freecss Family, And The Minor Characters!
Illumi
🧃 rich kid is gonna be the one with either nothing but a tree or literally is gonna go to the point of fake snow on the stair rails
🧃 it’s either nerf or nothing for this man. either go all out or don’t go at all mf
🧃 he likes Christmas except the fact it’s cold, girlie isn’t a fan of cold weather
🧃 he’ll probably do the jazz with the gingerbread cookies tho :’)
🧃 but yeah his tree’s gonna look like the ones in the movies with like all the height and the little balls with the perfect star on top bc babie is perfect so his tree should be too ✨
🧃 he says he doesn’t want anything but if you actually get him something he’ll be so touched-
🧃 he maybe will take a day off of fuck knows what to spend Christmas with anybody- 
🧃 okay we all know he’s spending Christmas with hisoka and we can’t change that 
🧃 poor baby he just wants to be held and feel the feeling of warmth again so he is a fan of hot chocolate
🧃 will not go out in the snow but he will go with you or anybody that wants to go outside and play
🧃 he isn’t a fan of dressing up but he’ll take his s/o out on a Christmas date (I will do a mini scenario/hc’s for this if you guys want.)
Hisoka
🧃 I feel if he wasn’t a pedophile or mass murderer they would hire him to work as a mall Santa Claus.
🧃 he’d probably do a color coded thing and the whole house would be that color
🧃 this mf would buy a gift for himself-
🧃 he wouldn’t do anything to his room and the biggest ick about him I have is that he has nothing in his room but a bed, dresser, desk, lamp, and nightstand like only the necessities so he wouldn’t do that much.
🧃 if he had a kid he’d 100% to elf on the shelf until they were like 16 years old and even use his nen ability to secretly make them move so the kid would believe in the magic for a while
🧃 he’s forcing illumi to come over cause he doesn’t want the little shit to be alone and sad on Christmas.
🧃 he got illumi a present
🧃 not a fan of those childish Christmas films but he’s pretty fond of the romance ones tbh
🧃 he literally never ends up under the mistletoe because everybody’s avoiding it so they won’t have to kiss the scary guy-
🧃 he can COOK asf so he’ll def make a feast for him and his s/o or just friends :)
Killua
🧃 he’s gonna be the most fun with all this, he want everything either blue, purple, or white. Literally he hates doing shit and not perfecting it (nikki minaj??)
🧃 he’d be the one to act like a mom saying “stupid I’m not buying that it’s too expensive!” and then you wake up with it under the tree- “you thought you weren’t getting it didn’t you?” I stg he is literally EVERY SINGLE MOTHER ON EARTH and it’s not even funny.
🧃 he wants to go play in the snow and make snow angels but he won’t say anything until you say something
🧃 hc that his ears and nose turn kinda red when it’s cold
🧃 he’s literally cooking a red velvet cake and there is no point in stopping him
🧃 he probably isn’t a morning christmas guy, he’s all for around 11-12 gifts so then you guys can bake cookies and play in the snow a ton because you got some energy stored up
🧃 this mf wants chocolate robots for Christmas and probably at one point in his life asked Santa for a new family but he didn’t deliver ig. (Illumi probably wrote him a fake Santa note saying that his family was better than everybody else’s.) 
🧃 his parents forced him to go sing those fucking Christmas songs when they know damn well those kids sound ratchet.
🧃 he ALWAYS ends up under the mistletoe with somebody. Even if it’s unintentional it always happens. 
🧃 a giant fan of wreaths for some reason? He puts one on every door.
Gon
🧃 his favorite holiday is Christmas so ohhh boy this is gonna be magical-
🧃 red green and white colors. you cannot change his mind literally that is what colors are in his head as soon as he hears the word Christmas.
🧃 the tree’s gonna be HUGE and he’s gonna want to decorate every room in the house. The bathroom, your room, his room, and yes he is that one neighbor with the fucking big ass lights outside-
🧃 he is a firm Santa believer he doesn’t take criticism. 
🧃 literally is going to wake everybody up at 6 fucking am to open gifts and everybody is gonna do it because can we really resist his pouty face? no. 
🧃 the joy on his face opening any gifts make it a fucking can of baked beans makes it all worth losing about 3-4 hours of sleep :,)
🧃 he probably wants toys for Christmas, I get he’s 14 but hxh doesn’t exactly have too much social media so he wouldn’t be trying to grow up too fast
🧃 he would get matching sleepwear for everybody except for some fucking reason it actually will look cute and he won’t just settle for a ugly ass tight suffocating elf sweater.
🧃 he believes Christmas is about spending time with your family and probably donated his old toys to a center so kids who didn’t have toys got some :)
🧃 he’s gonna make sure everybody has a good time, like every single person. it’s a  main protagonist thing I guess but I mean I applaud him for it.
🧃 doesn’t quite ever end up under the mistletoe with anybody but if he happened to he’d giggle and kiss their cheek in a friendly way.
Leorio
🧃 he’s gonna reuse the same fucking plastic wrinkled tree he’s been using for 12 years because the tree prices are “insane” even on sale.
🧃 he would be the one a Walmart ringing the little bell and forcing kurapika to sing with him because he needs the money.
🧃 his house is the one with rainbow colored little balls and it’s so ghetto but at the same time adorable
🧃 he is literally that one neighbor who gets the most snow and it’s the snow that’s basically ice and will take around 6 good days to shovel up.
🧃 maybe wont shovel out the snow too early because he wants killua and gon to have fun. 
🧃 he wants money for Christmas and nothing more, but kurapika tells him money isn’t a real gift and to ask for something else
🧃 even not being a morning person, he LIVES for morning Christmas.
🧃 probably eats snow.
🧃 he would try to cook and it might work actually
🧃 miss girl is plopped right down right next to gon watching elf on the shelf movies
🧃 he wears the Santa hat and is lowkey twinning with kurapika-
Kurapika
🧃 this bitch is gonna make you wait all fucking day to open gifts 😀
🧃 he thinks afternoon/nigh Christmas is the best. On Christmas eve he would literally sit down and watch movies with killua and gon for exactly 2 hours while leorio waits outside because kurapika wants him to sound like there’s somebody on the roof and kurapika can put the two children to bed and get a break for the rest of the night to finish gift wrapping and food making
🧃 hella good at wrapping gifts- commercial wrapping mf.
🧃 he thinks a white color coded Christmas looks best 
🧃 he’d give killua and gon like 150$ to buy Christmas stuff for their rooms and that’s lowkey just him trying his best he doesn’t know what the fuck else to do he isn’t a mom-
🧃 he might teach the other 3 traditional kurta songs his clan and him sung on Christmas.
🧃 he’s twinning with leorio cause he got the reindeer ears I mean get it ig- 
🧃 leorio is BEGGING kurapika to let him get a couple of drinks and kurapika’s like “YOURE GONNA STAY SOBER AND YOURE GONNA LIKE IT BITCH.”
🧃 he may or may not boys whatever they asked for and accidently on purpose use leorio’s credit card-
🧃 he just wants everybody to be happy, but can we blame him? it’s Christmas why wouldn’t he?
🧃 okay all wholesomeness aside he’s making leorio shovel the driveway.
Chrollo
🧃 he thinks this is like a romance thing
🧃 he’ll probably steal a gift or 2 for you ya know
🧃 I feel he’s the mf to have a black Christmas tree or a white one theres no in between
🧃 cookies are a yes
🧃 just go watch a classic romance movie one with him, it’ll give ya clear skin ma
🧃 he won’t decorate outside but inside will look magical asf
🧃 I think personally he’d wear a santa hat
🧃 probably would make a big phat juicy meal just for the two of you and he’d get gifts for the troupe if they cared about celebration
🧃 I feel the troupe isn’t big on that holiday stuff but if you felt like celebrating with him he’d be over the moon
🧃 he got that big tree though for no reason, he also takes the tree down the day after Christmas
🧃 Probably would give you a gift everyday leading up to christmas
Feitan
🧃 He probably was forced to sing carols and ring the bell on christmas as a kid-
🧃 he doesn’t really care much and won’t care to decorate but may or may not get you gifts
🧃 if you get him something he’ll have a small smile behind his mask 
🧃 he doesn’t wanna be in the cold just make some hot chocolate and watch a movie with him jeez
🧃 probably will wear reindeer horns if you insist
🧃 his favorite holiday is halloween but christmas is nice I guess
🧃 he probably would spend his entire day if he didn’t have a s/o with shalnark seeing who could figure out the christmas word find fastest
🧃 he’s gonna just see if theres anything he could steal for anybody
🧃 doesn’t bother with snow at all if there is snow he just doesn’t care to go outside when we got a perfectly nice house
🧃 firm believer in christmas isn’t about family it’s about gifts
🧃 he’s gonna get you something expensive though
Alluka
🧃 alluka the sweet princess is literally the neighbor that has the biggest brightest lights
🧃 she probably had her big brother killua come help her
🧃 her christmas tree is pink and white, and she decorated every square foot of her house
🧃 Christmas is her favorite holiday :)
🧃 she get’s everybody gifts and for christmas she wants some toys maybe to go shopping or something
🧃 snow angels are a must 100%
🧃 firm santa believer doesn’t take criticism.
🧃 she’s gonna be so happy just to spend time with people honestly even if nanika comes out she’s just gonna be happy
🧃 her gingerbread houses look absolutely amazing like please become a house builder sis-
🧃 she’s wearing matching sleepwear with killua and gon, probably doing a elf santa and reindeer theme which is adorable
🧃 this is the best day of her life and I’m living for it.
machi
🧃 This bitch is not a fan of anything
🧃 she want’s to paint those little christmas ball things and yeah
🧃 probably says she doesn’t want anything but some jewels or bracelets would be nice 
🧃 also isn’t a fan of snow but her house doesn’t get much to be honest
🧃 for the troupe she gives them like some bakery idem she made because why not that’s her family after all
🧃 probably wears fluffy socks on christmas and they’re like really adorable she just doesn’t realize it
🧃 she probably got something extra for shizuku idk I head canon them to be friends :)
🧃 she wont steal anything probably will buy or make it
🧃 omg machi stitching little christmas sweaters and socks omg that’s the highlight of my mother fucking day
🧃 her house if she decorates, is red and white.
Pakunoda
🧃 omg this beautiful woman I love so much
🧃 her house is white and blue and it’s all pretty
🧃 she has lights and stuff but doesn’t like overdo it or anything because she isn’t that jolly but might decorate a tree or two
🧃 she donates to animal shelters on christmas and literally it’s so cute
🧃 will probably get the troupe something specific that fits them or that they like because she isn’t trying to get somebody useless shit
🧃 for her s/o she’ll go out in the snow with them if they’d want
🧃 she buys the best gifts like that one aunt you don’t wanna give kisses but they always come through except we do wanna kiss her asf
🧃 she’ll wear machis socks that machi made her :,)
🧃 probably is the best person to have on christmas because just look at her
🧃 cuddles are everything just let’s just hug her while she watching a movie yes
Shalnark
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Phinks
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Uvo
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Shizuku
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Mito
🧃 yes
🧃 she thinks christmas is all about family
🧃 def an adult who says that they don’t want anything
🧃 she loves gons little handmade gifts or cards though
🧃 she decorates the house whatever way gon would want to cause you know he’s the only kid in the house
🧃 so basically her family has like a huge feast and everything and the food slaps
🧃 she makes gon wear this adorable sleepwear thing cause she thinks its cute
🧃 won’t let gon near any gifts before christmas
🧃 she’ll bundle gon up like a burrito if he wants to play in the snow which is adorable
🧃 she’s the mom like “you thought you wasn’t gonna get that huh? oh you welcome baby.”
Kalluto
🧃 this small little boy omg
🧃 he loves christmas but nobody really pays attention to him so he’s a little sad
🧃 with the troupe if they get him something he’ll be so excited but you won’t be able to tell :(
🧃 he’ll give people stuff because to him this is probably the most spirt he gets
🧃 he might just go sit out in the snow to enjoy the scenery 
🧃 he enjoys christmas eve most because of the vibes
🧃 doesn’t believe in santa but you know he’ll let alluka believe in it
🧃 probably a bit hurt killua wants to celebrate with alluka but not him tho
🧃 will ask killua if he wants anything def
🧃 might get illumi and milluki something if they let him
Milluki
🧃 he is always cooped up in the zoldyck house so they probably don’t decorate or celebrate but he still enjoys it
🧃 if illumi or something gets him a new game he’ll pretend he doesn’t care but he’ll appreciate it :)
🧃 he loves snow like yes
🧃 he might ask his siblings for something because his bitch ass parents wont buy him anything
🧃 yeah he doesn’t rlly give af but like yes
🧃 he probably just wants a new game or figure 
🧃 he might go online and talk to his online friends to see what they got and watch hauls on yt
🧃 probably the mf to want something that arrives in like july like damn pick something else
🧃 wont get anybody else anything sadly
🧃 we stan milluki here
THATS IT FOR NOW!! IM PLANNING ON ADDING SHALNARK, PHINKS, UVO, SHIZUKU SO IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHARACTERS YOU WANT JUST SEND IN REQUESTS! 😁🧃 this event does not include nsfw.
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hisbutlerisahunter · 3 years
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Day- 3 “oh no it snowed all over me and now im soaked… oh you think thats funny? Guess you’re getting a hug then!”
Pairing: Uvogin x reader
Watching the weather change so fast was always fun, well it would be if your idiot of a boyfriend wasnt out in said ever changing weather on his way home from “work”.
You glance at your phone and sigh, you knew hed be okay in reality but it doesnt stop you from worrying about him getting sick. Despite Uvos large size and the amount of heat he kicks out he was not immune to getting colds and being a big man child about it.
Your worrying comes to a holt when the front door slams open and your boyfriend bellows your name.
“Y/N! ITS SNOWING” he shouts from the door way. You giggle at his excitement then shiver as the cold starts rolling into your warm home.
“Yes and its also cold baby, please close the door” you whine to which uvogin slams the door shut and chuckles.
Getting up from the couch you move into view of him and find hes wearing his usual, almost nothing but with the added snow piled on his shoulders and hair. He grins as he sees you and then shakes, like a dog would and his grin turns into a frown as he realises the wet is still stuck to him.
“oh no it snowed all over me and now im soaked” he says pouting. It sounds funny coming out of his mouth, like hes trying to be sarcastic but hes secretly upset at the same time so the laughter you were trying to hide spills out and gets louder the more you think about it.
“Oh? you think thats funny? Guess you’re getting a hug then!” his voice drops an octave too low and makes you gasp and before the words actually register Uvo is making his way towards you, arms wide open.
"No, no, no, you stay over there” you say panicked as you run to the kitchen. Obviously hes a lot faster than you with his longer legs and stupid agility so you end up cornered.
“Well doll? Where that sweet laughter now?” He hums and you shriek as he wraps his arms around you.
“UVO NO YOU’RE WET AND C-COLD” you shout and push against him before resigning yourself to the fate of being cold. “Youre terrible you now that?” You huff and shiver again as a water droplet slides down your arm, uvogin continues to just smile down at you and steal your warmth.
“I think im pretty great” uvo chuckles to himself before he gets an idea. Whilst youre unsuspecting he lifts you from the floor and spins around with you in his arms and chuckles, “we should shower together to get warm again”, the suggestion itself starts to bring warmth to you, so you agree happily by nodding your head as your teeth begin to chatter.
“B-but no s- shower sex for you” the whine he lets out at your words is absolutely pitiful. The way he deflates at your words reminds you of a very bug puppy thats been told ‘no’.
“Itll make us extra warm, what do you mean!” You laugh around your chattering teeth before mentioning for him to lean down.
“No shower sex and ill make your favourite for dinner” you whisper into his ear. The grin is back on his face instantly and hes practically running up the stairs before you get a reply.
Uvogin sets you down in the bathroom to turn the shower on and watches as you take your shivering self to the towels to grab two.
“Are you just gonna sit there and watch you big lug?” he chuckles and sits against the baths edge.
“I think i might, its funny” you roll your eyes and throw, as best you can, the towel at his face.
“Shut up and get in, stupid” another laugh rumbles from his chest and you can help but smile at the sound. The steam from the shower warms you instantly and the second you touch the water you get goose bumps from the cold leaving your skin. Closing your eyes you let yourself just relax into the water and listen to uvo cursing outside of the curtain probably trying to get his wet clothes off until he goes silent again.
“fancy seeing you here” his voice is low, more relaxed and tired now.
“hm more like fancy seeing you here, you never shower without a motive” you laugh as he shoves you lightly further into the stream. He lets you stand there for a few more seconds before he decides that you’re done, Uvo picks you up and places you at the opposite end of the tub before actually getting under the water himself.
“Uvo, its cold over here dont hog the water” you whine and move to go towards him, that is until he turns to face you again. The air around you continues to get colder as Uvos smile widens, you know theres no space for you under the shower spray and thats what hes going to say but youd be damned if you were going to let him make you cold again.
“you just gonna stand there like that” he says as you wrap your arms around his middle.
“yeah” he laughs at your quiet admission before turning off the water and pulling back the curtain. When you don’t move to grab the towels and stay stuck to him he laughs harder.
“look at you, you didnt want my hug earlier and now you cant keep away from me, typical” he puffs out his chest as if hes very proud of himself before sighing happily, he rubs your back gently before grabbing the both of your towels. Uvogin helps you dry and you laugh as he wraps you up in both of your towels like a burrito before picking you up again and taking you to the bedroom, he likes to “air dry” or so he says, you think he just likes having his junk out.
You get dressed in relative silence, minus the laughter when you try to push one another over and just like that you’re warm and toasty again.
“dinner?” you ask and giggle as Uvogin pushes you out of the bedroom in his eagerness.
“dinner!” he says before thinking that, maybe he should behave in the shower more, it might get him more of his favourite food
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bebaexoexo · 4 years
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Shit Oh Sehun did only in the first half of 2019
because I gave up and this list is way too long already why is this boy such a mess also it's not basically 2021
His team in exo arcade kept losing so he sulked (baby had to be comforted by his hyungs)
Refused to wear potective gear and made his hyungs worry
Acted cute as a punishment for losing exo arcade
Billboard master sehun
Somehow convinced ksoo to wear a cute birthday hat
Boyfriend insta live with ksoo on his birthday
Red suit at smtown wow
EXO LADDER ANTICS (@exo2018subs youre doin great things for the fandom uwu)
"There are no cameras here... are there cameras here?" Says in a room full of cameras
Jongdae "shrimp fishing"
Sehun "sehun fishing?"
Cuddles his giant self on baekhyuns tiny shoulders
LA Vacation time with suho
Kai KNEADING sehuns knee on tv
ROUGEFASHIONBOOK
PCY "Sehun-ah"
Sehun "whose this?"
Convinces the members to take a punishment because he just wants them to
Members "why should we?"
Sehun "because youre my members"
Sehuns laugh
Chanyeol gave up his solo stage because he wanted to perform 'we young' w/ hunnie
Ksoo wants to travel with hunnie more ahhh
"Ive told exo-ls this before, 'i hope that you all will find what you want', and that's what I wanted to say to the hyungs too"
MADAME FIGARO
Constant insta lives of him being VIVIs dad
Sehun throughout Coffee friends 'i love this, i like this, this is nice yea i like thi-'
Vivi *ignoring him in every livestream*
Sehun 'oh wow so handsome. Guys vivi is so great look at him'
Sehun *finally joins the ladder*
The rest of exo *standing ovation*
Sehun *sees his hyungs* *rolls on the ground*
'I like it fairy' on Coffee friends
Ate half the tangerines he was supposed to peel on Coffee friends
Couldnt understand why everyone wanted a big fancy room to themselves as a reward on Exo ladder
Won the biggest fanciest room for himself
Desperarely begged members to sleep with him, too scared to sleep by himself
'Anyone who wants to sleep with me has to jump in the water'
'Ksoo hyung if you jump into the water you can have my bed'
'Ah im going crazy x1000'
'Guys im really scared. Are you sleeping on your own? Can you do it?'
'Okay rock paper scissors and the winner sleeps with me'
'IM GOING HOME THEN'
Finally suho gave in coz he felt bad for his little baby. i cant hes too much
Used pool water to tidy his hair, baekhyun 'wahh a real man'
'I have a feeling ill win 300 000won, I know it, everyone watch me I just know wow'... wins the least amount of food allowance
Pretend to know all about deers at a deer farm but then started screaming and running away scared as soon as they got close
Members kept stealing his answers in capture the moment so he just melted into the sofa, stomping his foot, screaming at the camera. RIP Hint Fairy
After begging someone to sleep with him...
Sehun @ Suho: 'I'm sorry but dont touch me or I'm sending you to the floor' *play fighting* 'ah fuck it I love you'
'I suddenly want to become a fish"
Suho 'whales are so smart...they have IQ of about 60-90... very similar to Sehun I think' *que Sehun pulling faces and making noises at the whales*
Bet all his allowance in order to get wanton noodles -> lost, and then bet 2 wishes (pds make him do whatever) and lost twice more... left with nothing
Starts drinking from bath pools just because they're called wine and beer
Okay but Sehun just being an actual child playing the pools in exo ladder and laughing and messing around just warmed my heart so much
Pranked poor leader Suho by constantly putting shampoo in his hair while he was showering. Suho ended up trying to wash it out for half an hour like 'why wont the shampoo stop!?'
When the activity and healing team split on the last day of Exo ladder... 'even without Chanyeol and Jondae theres not much of a difference' LOL
Kai 'sit down and cook the food'
Sehun 'you know I have a standing up illness'
Kai 'attention seeking illness?'
Sehun 'yes'
Suho delivering a very deep and emotional reflection, Sehun falls asleep
LADDER
Sehuns charming points according to xiumin 'tall, handsome and cute'
New nickname 'Chip' aka little baby teacup
Giggly cute reuinion with Mina @ seoul fashion week
Brought his most expensive champagne for xiumins housewarming
Starts appreciating cooks after 25 years of life just because he made tteokbokki one time
Another insta V Live with VIVI or just... Vi coz half of vivis fluff was shaved off
Went to support JD for his solo with ksoo hyung
Recommended Peter Pan to Exo-L's for their 7th anniversary
Spends ages looking at sunglasses and posing in a shop but leaves with a lollipop
Q: 'Whats Exo-L to Exo?'
Sehun: 'if y0u kNoW iT alr3Ady tHen why'Re you asKinG'
According to Chen, Sehun is the driving force of Exo uwu
Won 'overseas male artist' @ the weibo awards
Omg but Ohsehunbars birthday project for sehun. A party at an aquarium WITH MERMAIDS
Sehun:
EXO-L:
Coex artium for sehuns birthday: (눈_눈)
Solo choki performance at dne's concerts
Topped "April 2019 Netizens Favourite Magazine Cover" hosted by Weibo for his Cosmopolitan China cover
SHIRTLESS SEHUN IN THE HAWAII PHOTOBOOK
Okay but OT9 being together on Xiuweet time did something to my heart
When asked to say something to xiumin as a goodbye 'I have a soft heart so I'll probably cry too'
Sehun cracking jokes and being a strong little brother for a stadium full of sobbing fans and hyungs
Volunteered at a children's home, Sunduk Home, for children's day and danced to Love Shot
UM APPARENTLY EXO-CS IS HAPPENING?
*uploads an Exo-CS spoiler on instagram*
Yeol: 'ya take that doing the company's gonna scold us'
Sehun being a lil bitch: 'no turning back now'
Okay but EXO-CS IN WKOREA!?
Chanyeol uploads a picture of him and Sehun from WKorea...
Sehun 'if you upload a picture of my face without my permission you'll be in trouble'
Met Donald Trump
Joint dad live streams with chanyeol and their sons Toben and vivi
Just Sehun with meerkats and racoons
Was supposed to cook with chanyeol but kept eating all the ingredients instead
Username 'Sehuns Anus' makes a 2019 comeback
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Hey! This is me and my friends joint account and this is our first post so here are some prompts you can send us with a descendants character(s) and we'll try to write a one-shot about it! Thank you and go follow our personal tumblrs at @blue-freckels @07-18yess
“I already see it now, you weren't built for backing down”
“You have to understand that The one I killed is me Changing what I was For what you wanted me to be”      
“You'd probably punch my arm right now If you saw this tear  rollin' down my face hey, man, I'm tryin' to be tough”
“my high school ring will have to do 'Til I can buy a wedding band”.
“She couldn't be at home in the night time because It made her feel alone, but at that time she was too young” 
“I met you in the dark, you lit me up you made me feel as though I was enough”
“Hate to ask, but what's it like to leave me behind?”
“ I won't be like you” 
“I'm more than my body you can pack your things up, buh bye, just go” 
“If you see the boy I used to be could you tell him that I'd like to find him And if you see the shell that's left of me could you spare him a little kindness”
“I know you think I got it all figured out 'Cause I walk around like my head's in the clouds but I'm just a boy with his heart pourin' out of his head”
“But I'm causing you so much frustration and you only want the best from me” 
“Youre trembling…” 
“Youre ignoring all your problems” 
“Dont do this to yourself” 
“Stop pushing everyone away!” 
“Youre a monster” 
“Its midnight, where the hell where you!?” 
“Where did all those bruises come from”
“You really need to stop drinking, im serious!” 
“Sometimes i wish that i could just fall asleep and never wake up” 
“They cant do anything to me, i have nothing left” 
“Put that knife down…” 
“Youre either with me or against me” 
“When was the last time you ate?”
“Why arnt you eating?”
“What were you thinking!” 
“Im starting to think that you want to get yourself killed…” 
“I love you” 
“I hear you talking but i still dont have my coffee” 
“Youre bad for me, but ive always liked junk food” 
“Were from two very different worlds” “so lets build a bridge” 
“I hate You!” “aww i love you too” 
“Youre gonna hate me if i tell you” 
“Youre my best friend” 
“Im sorry” 
“You cant fix me” 
“Fucking Magic” 
“You have no idea what im going threw” 
“Fuck you” 
“Are you with me” 
“ i drink to escape the pain” 
“Youre all i have left in this shitty world” 
“Im scared” 
“Stay with me” 
“Looks like ya got a problem friendo” 
“Im always by your side” 
“I cant let you do that” 
“I love you to much, to leave without you loving me back” 
“Why the hell would you do that to yourself” 
“Im a monster” 
“Did he hurt you…” 
“No dont touch me” 
“Why did you flinch…..” 
“I would never hurt you” 
“The scars make you who you are” 
“Are those….new” 
“Made a wrong turn, once or twice Dug my way out, blood and fire” 
“We made these memories for ourselves”
“I swear it will get easier”
“They think i hate them” 
“Im not scared of you anymore” 
“You are not my father” 
“I hate everyone” 
“Sing with me” 
“Your hair is really soft after you wash it” 
“Stop fussing, im just brading your hair”
“If you steal the blankets im gonna put my cold feet on you” 
“You are my new pillow” 
“Ive known you since… forever, i cant imagin my life without you” 
“If it wasnt for you i would be lost, im so lucky you came into my life” 
“Youre my bestfriend, youre suppost to deal with the second hand embarrassment”
“You dont have to deal with everything alone”
“You know me better than anyone” 
“Ugh-  youre sweaty get off” 
“We should run away” 
“I have no sympathy for a criminal” 
“I wasnt planing on asking you but it acured to me that life is short so will you marry me “were 16” so?”
“The dog loves me more” 
“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles” 
“Together we can do anything 
“Who wouldnt be angry, you ate all my cereal” 
“I hope you know my name is actually_____”
“Doll~” 
”stop touching my neck” 
“Where were you when your father told you Boys don't cry,”
“An if theres a next one i hope that she can love him the same”
“Then we won’t make it along, but hey, I guess    that’s love”
“But ill leave a message so i’m not alone”
“The day that they took you i wish it was me instead” 
“Diamonds they dont turn to dust or fade away”
“I should be happy of course” 
“But tomorrow makes me scared”
“I’m ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight”
“I've been praying for forgiveness, you've been praying for my health”
“Does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the nigh changes” 
“Scream and we shout we make up the same day”
“Every jewel on my crown you better believe i earned it”
“I hate you I hate you but i was just kidding myself”
“It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless”
“Too tired to fight”
“I gave what i could and the rest was stolen”
“This city never sleeps at night”
“Remember that night” 
“I can speak to you by saying nothing at all”
“too young too dumb to know things like love but I know better now”
“What did i do wrong this time, thats parents for you”
“Please don’t come after me”
“We’ll always love you no matter what”
“you'll understand when you love someone”
“An we just pretend i can take it back”
“It didn't always hurt this way”
“Am i messed up, forever flawed, beyond repair, but forever yours”
“You’ve got you peace now, but what about me”
“One last word, one last moment”
“I see my future in you eyes”
“I am not afraid to walk this world alone”
“Nothing you can say an stop me going home”
“Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead”
“You wanna be a loser like me”
“Ill get yo back when im your boss”
“Cause with all  that has happened  think that we both now the way that the story end
“I got an idea, and i know that it sounds crazy”
“She expected the world”
“Life goes on it get so heavy”
“On the edge of paradise”
“I don’t love yo im just passing the time”
“But who could love me i am out of my mind”
“Beg you to stay”
“Don’t know if you love me or you want me dead”
“Sometimes when i look at you i see my wife”
“Don’t be his friend  you know you gonna wake up in his bed in the morning”
“We need you, i needed you”
“That i was nothing but a kid who couldn’t understand it”
“If you really cared for me then why you acting”
“Never planned that one ay i’d be loosing you”
“We made a pact”
“In another life, I woul make you stay”
“I begge you to want me, but you didn't want to” 
“know you're in a better place but it's always gonna hurt”
“He's waiting. Hides behind a cigarette” 
“I'm your weakest link” “but you're still a part of the chain” 
“ mini bars, expensive cars, hotel rooms and new tattoos, and the food Champagne and the private planes, but they don't mean anything, cause the try to truth is out” 
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lionspridetingz · 4 years
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Sweetener - Mason Mount
chapter seven - goodnight n go 
“Oh, why'd you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you, why must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well. Just say goodnight and go.”
~A few days later~
“So let me get this straight, you two met up at your spot where you both share so much history and made up, to be ‘just friends’?” your friend asked you as you both set up the things for the barbecue your friend group was hosting. 
You nodded as she handed you a stack of cups to place on the table. She rose her eyebrow at you, “Righhhttt and you’re sure theres no feelings between you two, cuz that day I came to your house, you both looked a bit flushed, like you were hiding something.” 
“Anabelle, i promise nothing is going on between me and mason, we’re just friends, nothing more.” 
“Rightttt, whatever you say, just behave tonight, i remember how you two used to be at these kind of things.” she eyed you for a reaction but didn’t get anything. 
It wasn’t that you wanted to lie to your best friend, you just knew you had to for now, not that she would have a bad reaction to you two technically getting back together, it was cause you and mason promised to take it slow, which meant not saying anything to any of your friends yet, no matter how hard it was. 
And you can already tell its gonna be even harder as you hear Anabelle open the door to none other than Mr. Mason Mount looking ever so gorgeous with his nice summer tan, his longer hair, a little stint of facial hair, ‘god that facial hair looks so good on hi- Y/N get it together goddamn it.’ 
You shook your head and smiled as mason came walking over to you to greet you. Engulfing you in a ‘friendly hug’, before whispering in your ear, “hello beautiful, missed me?” winking at you at an angle only you can see making you roll your eyes at him as well as trying to hide a small blush on your cheeks. 
Anabelle came over wrapping her arms around both of you, asking for a favor, “since both of you are such good friends now, I can send you two to go finish setting up outside while I figure out the new speakers my brother bought in here.” you both nodded and headed outside. Mason smirking as he can still see the small blush you wore. 
The two of you setting up plates and utensils in silence, Mason looking over at you every so often with that look you can’t resist. 
“Mase,” his ears sprung up when you spoke his nickname, “tell me why you gotta look at me that way, you know what it does to me.” you eyed him making him smirk stepping closer to you. You looked back at the house hoping no one was looking. 
“Aww baby, whatcha trying to say?” he wiggled his eyebrows wiggled at you making you scoff before he continued talking, “ you know lately all i can think about is how all i want is you on top of me.” he started gently touching your side with his hand. 
“You know where your hands should be,” you said smacking his hand away before moving away from him, heading back towards the house to see if Anabelle figured out the new speakers. 
“If that's true, why don’t you come and show me?” he screamed, just loud enough for you to be the only one who heard it.  
The entire night you two could barely resist yourselves, constantly giving each other flirty looks, sneaking touches, yes you two were supposed to be going slow, but you really couldn’t help yourself, maybe it was the light buzz of the drink Anabelle kept pouring you but all you wanted to do was walk over to him where he was talking to some of the other guys at the barbecue and smash your lips on his. 
But you couldn’t, you needed to control yourself. 
That self control almost went out the window when you were both sat across each other at the table and he kept giving you the look, the look that left a shiver down your spine, and made your cheeks go red. 
“Hey Y/N you alright you look a bit flustered.” your friend Melanie asked, you nodded and just blamed it on the alcohol and the weather. Everyone seemed convinced of the answer except Mason, who just smirked as he continued to chew his food. You grimaced at him and decided to play at his level. 
Carefully slipping off your sandal by ‘accidentally’ dropping a napkin on the floor, picking it up and seeing he was in conversation with the guy sitting next to him, noticing it to be the perfect time for your plan. You pressed your foot to his leg making his eyes go wide and him cough a bit and turned to take a sip of his drink giving you a daring face, you just shrugged taking a bite of your food. He returned to his conversation as well as eating but not before you slid your foot up his leg slowly, drawing a reaction from him. When your foot made it to his thigh he gripped your ankle, looked at you with a face telling you to stop before pushing your foot off of him, and all you could do was smirk to your victory. 
The rest of the evening went by quickly, the two of you seemingly calmed down after what happened at dinner, and once it was time for the party to end, you both were the first to offer to help Anabelle with cleaning up, which she greatly accepted. She had your both on the washing dishes duty while she went to go pick up outside. 
The two of you stood there just quietly being in each others presence, mason not liking the silence so he nudged you playfully as you poured water over the soapy plate, making you giggle. 
“What was that earlier huh?” 
“What was what?” you smirked knowing exactly what he was talking about.  
“Oh you wanna be like that? I’m talking about the footsie game you were trying to play with me.” 
“Ohhhhh that, it was pretty fun to see you all flustered,” he rolled his eyes at that, “aww Mase I know you love how i tease ya,” you winked making him chuckled, “besides you kept giving me the look all night.” 
“Oh I was giving you the look huh? Do tell me Y/N what this look consists of.” he stopped drying the plate he had in his hand and looked at you. 
“You know damn well the look you were giving me and don’t you deny it, need i remind you we’re supposed to be taking it slow.” you finished handing him another plate to dry before rinsing out the excess soap in the sink. 
“Says the one who was trying to turn me on during dinner!” he exclaimed chuckling, making you shrug and wink at him as you went to get your things to head home. Anabelle coming in and thanking you both for your help, and asking how you’d get home. 
“I’ll probably just get an uber or something.” you shrugged pulling out your phone, but in true Mason fashion he protested. 
“You are not getting in an uber this late at night, I didn’t drink anything I’ll drop you off at home.” 
After a bit of back and forth you decided to let him drive you home, Anabelle saying bye to you at the door, and whispering “remember just friends” and winking at you.
This car ride was completely silent until you spoke up as he pulled up to your house. 
“Why do you make it so hard?” 
Mason turned down the music, “What do you mean?” he chuckled a bit, showing his perfect white smile that you adored. 
You couldn’t help but groan making him confused, “I mean it’s so hard to not find you cute or to resist you,  you make my guard go down every time you’re around, and I cant help but want to kiss you in front of all of our friends just like I used to, you make me wish we weren’t taking this slow.” 
“Butterfly… we don’t have to take this slo-” you stopped him 
“Are we making a mistake? Am i more importantly making a mistake, I just feel like I was getting better and then you come back and you pull me in again cuz you just have this control over m-” he cut you off with a kiss. Making your hands go to his hair as you kissed back, before pulling away and slumping back in the passenger seat. 
“Always have to leave me with a bang, couldn’t just say goodnight and go huh?” he smirked, leaning over and grabbing your hand. “You have just as much control over me Y/N and I wouldn’t want it any other way, I don’t think this is a mistake, we can take it at your pace, whatever you wan-” this time you cut him off with a kiss, a short and sweet one. 
“Stay tonight.” 
“What?” he was taken aback. 
“Stay the night with me, my parents won't be home til Wednesday, they’re visiting my aunt up north. I want to take it slow, but I’m not going to deny how bad I want to lay in your arms tonight like the old times. So please, stay the night and we can figure out the pace we’ll go at in the morning. I’m sure your big empty house won't miss you too much.” you winked and he nodded stealing another kiss from you making you smile. The both of you exiting the car and entering your house, feeling close together like the good old days.
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edge-lorde · 4 years
Text
hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post. 
disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]
that rowan fucking died,
i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical. 
i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of  a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote. 
that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now. 
i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:
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;_;
the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.
lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i  dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....
sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team.  this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle. 
right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs. 
so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad. 
the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!  
my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;
i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.  
GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such. 
most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left. 
they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots. 
the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.
 the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u. 
rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart. 
theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O. 
theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.
and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie. 
until next time, remember.......
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reesewestonarchive · 5 years
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chapter eight / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content
“…where would you go?”
Rem’s voice is a stark difference from the mixtape playing through frankensteined speakers from Rem’s Walkman. Nakoa opens his eyes, peers at Rem’s face—calm, pleased. “Hm?”
Rem dozes on his side of the bed, a hand out between them in an aborted attempt at touching Nakoa’s stomach. His words are slurred, though, and there’s a tired, distant look in his eye when he lifts his gaze to Nakoa.
Not a second later, his eyes are closed again. “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
Loaded question. Nakoa thinks there are plenty of places he’d like to see, plenty of places he could live, but would any of it matter if Rem weren’t with him? “Dunno. Hawaii. Or… European countryside, maybe.” Or Russia, if it weren’t so fucking cold. That’s the thing about the midwest that Nakoa doesn’t miss—the fucking winters. “Some place warm, probably.”
“Bahamas,” Rem says. “You’re miserable when you’re cold.”
“I have bad circulation,” Nakoa says, staring at the ceiling. “Can’t help it.”
Rem lifts his hand, pinches the skin at Nakoa’s hips gently, and says, “‘Cause you’re so fucking skinny. I bruise you when we fuck.”
“You’re one to talk.” Nakoa draws his fingers across thumb-shaped bruises along his own hips. A gentle stir of desire blooms in his stomach—maybe he can give Rem a matching set later. “What about you?”
“What about me?” He burrows closer, presses his head against Nakoa’s neck. He sighs.
“Where would you go, if you could go anywhere?”
“What’s wrong with right here?” Rem drops an arm around Nakoa’s waist. “Mm. Maybe…” He sighs; his breath tickles Nakoa’s chest. He mumbles a response, but Nakoa doesn’t hear it, doesn’t ask for him to repeat it.
Instead, he hums along to Rem’s mixtape. Rem didn’t say it, and Nakoa’s not sure if it’s on purpose, but Nakoa’s since sussed out that the songs are love songs.
For a guy that can’t verbalize the word, Rem’s really fucking good at saying it.
There are plenty of unanswered questions—if anyone’s chasing them, if it’s Michael or Rem’s bad decisions. If it’s… something else. Some asshole on their tail for being as open. Nakoa knows the attitude, knows whatever this is between them makes other people angry, disgusted.
He also doesn’t give a shit. Anyone’d be hard pressed to find someone Rem wouldn’t fight.
In the room, with Rem wrapped around him, basking in the glow of sex, Nakoa forgets about all that. Forgets that there’s a world outside the motel, a world outside of Rem and himself and the bed they’re lying on, in the dark with The Cure playing softly in the background.
Nakoa tests the words on his lips again; soft, against Rem’s hair. I love you. He mouths along with the lyrics for a verse, then hums. Rem curls closer, a pleased noise escaping his throat.
A whisper when Nakoa says, “I love you,” his voice barely louder than the music. Rem says nothing, his breathing even in sleep.
Nakoa lets him rest.
-
In the cold, misty morning, they pack up from the hotel overlooking the ocean, and Rem uses the last of his own money on a pack of cigarettes. Nakoa steals one from Rem’s lips, ignores his squawk of disagreement, and says, “Where to?”
Rem sighs, stares down at the map. “Fuck if I know.”
Nakoa remembers his mother—tries not to; the thought of her still at home leaves his chest tight—and how she would always say that the journey means as much as the destination. They don’t have the money to go much farther, and soon, the midwest is going to be covered in snow. Soon enough, anyway.
Nakoa thinks of the Grand Canyon, of Yellowstone, of Niagara Falls. Of ghost towns and abandoned houses, amusement parks and mountains and the Atlantic Coast. He thinks he’d follow Rem to hell—if he asked.
“Might as well hit all the stops,” Rem says. “Right?”
Nakoa watches his brow crease in thought. He doesn’t want to, but he says, “Pretty soon we won’t have money for food. Eating out’s fucking expensive.”
A glint sparkles in Rem’s eyes as he pulls the cigarette from his lips, smoke exhaling with each word, “That’s not true. I eat you out all the time.”
“Mm. Think you’re pretty fucking clever, don’t you?”
Rem shrugs, tugs Nakoa against him by his belt loops. “Sometimes. Hey—about the money thing.” He raises an eyebrow, grin wide across his lips, and says, “We could rob a bank.”
Yeah, right. Nakoa has a difficult time imagining that. “Or scare small children.” He shoves his knuckles against Rem’s ribs. “Give me your lunch money, punk.”
Thoughtfully, Rem asks, “Ever thought about porn?”
Nakoa doesn’t say the only person he wants to fuck is Rem. Instead, he says, “With your jealous streak, yeah fucking right.”
Rem scowls, but there’s a layer of mischief underneath. “I don’t get jealous.”
“Yeah?” Nakoa licks his lips, then says, “All right, cool. I’ll go get dicked down by some big fucker with a selfish attitude to match yours.” He makes a show of peering around the parking lot. “What kind of job do you think I can get around here? Or is that something I need to go to Portland for?”
Rem makes a noise in his throat, tugs Nakoa back against him, grips Nakoa’s wrists in his own. “Fuck no. You’re—” He sighs. “Fine. You win.”
“Oh, yeah? What’d I win?”
“I’d offer myself up as prize, if I was worth anything.” He squints, plucks Nakoa’s sunglasses from atop Nakoa’s head, and puts them on. Nakoa almost days, “Don’t sell yourself short,” but Rem continues with, “Blowjob?”
“Tsk,” Nakoa says. “Like I don’t get those from you on the regular anyway.” He smiles, lopsided and pleased. “What else you got for me?”
But Rem’s attention has shifted, from Nakoa to something across the street. His skin is white, fear-lined, and there’s a  Nakoa frowns, tries to turn back to see it, but Rem’s grip is tight and he won’t let Nakoa move.
“Could—” Rem clears his throat, looks back at Nakoa and smiles. “—let’s get on the road, hey?”
He still doesn’t let Nakoa turn back to see what he was looking at, holds Nakoa’s hands together.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Nakoa asks. He shakes out of Rem’s grip, turns, and— “Oh, fuck—”
He can’t get to the van quick enough. Rem, somehow, is already inside when Nakoa finally shuts the door behind him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know!” Rem jams the key into the ignition, turns it—the van stalls. “Fuck!”
His heart beats, hard, fast, in his chest. “Rem,” Nakoa says, still staring at the old, beat-up Bronco sitting across the street, at the guy sitting outside of it.
Michael.
“How’d he find us?” Rem mutters. “I didn’t think—”
The van roars to life—for a split second before stalling again. Nakoa’s heart climbs his throat, and he feels like he’s going to throw up.
But the van’s not starting, and Michael’s moving forward, now, towards the car. Nakoa moves through the van, out through the back. “I’ll find you,” Nakoa says, “later, okay? Just—I’ll find you. When we lose him—”
And he goes. Out the back door, and he books it, as soon as he hits the asphalt. Rem yells his name, but Nakoa goes anyway, down the parking lot and through the alley towards the boardwalk, where maybe, fucking maybe, he can get away.
He hopes, stupidly, that Michael doesn’t go after Rem instead, that he follows Nakoa. Rem’s already in too deep into Nakoa’s bullshit, and—
Someone stands at the end of the alleyway, blocking his escape, so he turns back around, stumbles over his own feet into one of the buildings. Breath catches in his chest, terror holding him tight as he stares ahead, at Rem, held in his father’s grip.
“You leave a messy trail, Nakoa.” Michael’s voice is quiet, calm, and Nakoa hears footsteps behind him, encroaching on his space, unsurprised when he feels the cold metal of a gun press against his neck. “Nice to see you again.”
“Let him—” Nakoa says, but the gun presses against his neck, harder, cuts him off, and he swallows. Waits.
“Rude to interrupt your father.” Michael, after a beat, does release Rem—only to send him reeling against the brick with a fist to his stomach. “Tell me, Nakoa. Did you think I would let you leave?”
Nakoa says nothing, eyes trained on Rem. Michael sighs, and, as Rem is bent over, coughing, knees him in the stomach. This time, Rem goes down. “Answer me.”
Yes; Nakoa figured, it’s been long enough since he heard about the secrets, since he’s been involved in any of Michael’s work; he should have been safe. He should have been fucking safe. And if it weren’t for Michael knowing someone fucking everywhere, a network of I-know-a-guy, Nakoa would have been.
He should have convinced Rem to fly out of the country. Maybe remote Russia isn’t so bad.
“No,” he lies, because Michael shouldn’t want to waste resources, not time or money, on Nakoa. He steps forward, ignoring Rem behind him, coughing.
Michael’s taller than he is, though not by much; Nakoa slouches. Rem still towers over him.
Rem could take him, if he was smart about it.
“I thought I was clear,” Michael says. “You are to stay with me. This is what we do, Nakoa. I can’t have my only son disappear, after all, can I? Even if he is a miserable excuse for one.”
Rem stumbles to his feet, croaks out a, “Hey, asshole—” before Michael turns, gun still in hand, and Nakoa can’t turn away fast enough, waiting for the sound of a gunshot that doesn’t come.
Instead, Michael winds up and slams the butt of the pistol into Rem’s head, turning back before Rem has even hit the ground. Blood surfaces from A gas on Rem’s forehead immediately, runs down his face, and… 
Nakoa watches Rem, tunnel visioned. Is he okay. Is he okay there’s a lot of blood already and his chest is rising and falling but is it too much? Not enough—
“Can someone take that one back to the car,” Michael asks, “handcuff him and put him in the trunk?”
It’s not a request. But Nakoa still says, “He needs help. You—”
“Shut up.”
“He could be—”
“Easier if he is,” Michael says. “I’d rather not have to cut off his attempts at a Disney rescue. You are mine, you know. No other man you throw yourself will change that fact.” Michael pulls Nakoa’s chin up, forces him to look Michael in the eye. “It’s best for you at home. You keep poor company.”
Nakoa keeps poor company. That’s almost laughable. “Pot calling the kettle,” Nakoa says. “I promise I won’t say shit, okay? For fuck’s sake, Rem doesn’t even know.”
He wonders maybe if Michael knows that, or if he doesn’t care. If his sole concern is of Nakoa giving out pieces of Michael’s secrets, or if it’s…
Nakoa swallows. Waits. 
Michael stares at him, expression blank, before he says, “You know, Nakoa. You haven’t proven yourself very trustworthy. You ran away from home. What am I meant to think?” He steps forward. “No. I think it’s best for you to stay with me.” He glances back towards Rem, still unconscious on the ground. “Your… friend, too.”
If Michael knows, he doesn’t day anything. Instead, he snaps his fingers, and the gun at Nakoa’s throat disappears. He tries to leave, get away, grab for Rem and shake him awake, but his before he can, his wrists are bound by zip ties.
Michael retreats down the alleyway, lighting a cigarette, and Nakoa opens his mouth—unsure what he’s going to say—but doesn’t get to call after him. Instead, there’s a burst of pain at the back of his skull, and the world goes dark.
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thehonestmommy · 6 years
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The Top 10 Reasons I Love Being Pregnant
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Being pregnant is not all fun and games. We are often extremely ill, unbelievably exhausted, bloated, gassy, swollen, sweaty, hungry and grumpy. And thats not even the gross stuff (if you don’t know already, i’m not telling you). But there are some seriously kick-ass things about being pregnant, too.   Here are some of my top 10 reasons why pregnancy has been super awesome for me so far, and things for all pregnant women to rejoice about! 
1. Feeling extra curvaceous 
Nothing feels more feminine and sexy to me than being curvy, and now at 5 months, i’m nothing but round shapes, and soft jiggles and I am freakin’ owning it. My husband doesn’t mind either! Bingpot. 
2. Healthy eating = healthy momma
I had a bad habit of over indulging in bad food basically all the time. Now that I’m pregnant and eating for 1.5 (my Doc says ‘you are not eating for two!’) what I eat is paramount. Since being more strict about what I eat, I notice that I am feeling much better. Plus my sugar cravings are at an all time low (good news for my upcoming gestational diabetes test). Cant say the same for salty stuff though. Oh hai blood pressure spikes and incessant thirst!
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3. Sleeping whenever I want 
Okay I admit it. Even though I got my energy back in the 2nd trimester (don’t even get me started on the exhaustion of the first trimester!) I still have a rubber arm for taking naps. If the opportunity is there,  you better believe I’m layin’ down. So far, no one has called me out on that. In fact, most people are pretty forgiving for my needing a rest. So, uhh... i’ll BRB I gotta take a nap. 
4. Built in reason to go home or stay home
Much in the same vein as taking naps, I also love the built-in reason to either leave events early, or not go at all. Out drinking with friends? 9pm rolls around and I’m gonna remind you that I’m pregnant and gotta go home. Formal function that I’m not feeling into? Yeah sorry about that...i’m just not feeling well. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. 
Bonus: this is also a great ‘out’ for your partner, too. My husband is now able to say ‘ahhh I better get home to the baby Mamma....’ 
5. Being more comfortable with gaining a few pounds
I never had unbearable struggles with my weight, but its still something I need to wrangle on a daily basis. It takes work. But now, its completely acceptable (and even encouraged!) for me to gain some extra pounds. Its really liberating to feel like I not only CAN have those extra calories, but its a damn good idea! Bring on the nachos!! 
Bonus: My body has a few new back rolls and a bigger muffin top and it straight up doesn’t matter. I’m pregnant and beautiful, bitches. Deal with it.
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6. The tenderness from my husband and family 
My family and my husband are nothing short of amazing lights in my life. But now that we are expecting, they are even more attentive, compassionate, caring and protective. Theres more hugs, more teary moments, more hopeful and loving conversations, and more emotional support (and way more belly touching than any man would experience in his lifetime. I just one-up’d ya, dudes). There really is a feeling of community that comes about when you’re going to become a mom, even from the people who were already a part of your inner circle. It all gets augmented. 
Bonus/drawback: Loved ones, and sometimes strangers, will attempt to protect you like your a delicate flower, because for some reason, the amazing feat of growing a damn human makes me incapable of tasks like rolling your own damn suitcase through the airport, or carrying groceries to the car (even when i park so close...see below). This drives me nuts. I’m a freaking powerhouse right now, people! I can handle it.  But I have to admit that my husband not allowing me to help him paint (even with the safe stuff), my mom waiting on me hand-and-foot when I visit her, and complete strangers offering me help has been really touching. Thanks, y’all. You sure do know how to make a pregger feel special. 
7. Baby Kicks 
It’s alive....ALIVE!!  Seriously though, I was worried this would freak me out. I’m at 22 weeks now and i’m in that sweet zone where the baby’s not strong enough to bruise my ribs, but shows me in interpretive dance that s/he really loves bacon. It’s adorable, and makes me super excited to meet our little baconator. 
8. Nesting
I’ve always loved buying new things for the house, assembling furniture (want me to help you build your IKEA furniture?) and decorating. Now, I have a WAY less selfish reason than “because I want to” for filling the house with new important items and adding renovation chores (see above: painting) to my husbands ‘Honey-do’ list. 
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9. Pregnancy parking spots. 
Yeah those are just awesome. Only available for a limited time!! Get em while they’re hot!
10. The constant reminder that I am a Goddess who sustains life
Every time I look in the mirror, accidentally lean my belly on the counter when reaching for a treat, or catch a stranger steal a glance at my bump, I’m reminded that my body has changed so dramatically in the last 5 months and is actively creating and sustaining a human being. I am carrying LIFE. I am two people. I have a divine power to bring forth a child into the world, and that blows my mind over and over. I have never felt so powerful, so important, so gifted and so much self love in my entire life. Every minute of this miracle is a gift.  
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voidimparchive · 6 years
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heres a list of like... cashier pet peeves & things to do to Not make ur cashier Fucking Miserable
bag ur fucking raw meat. listen u might think it looks clean but a lot of times its NOT. & not only is it like... nasty to touch but we also gotta touch other ppls food!! dont do that!!! ppl dont want fuckin cow blood on their apples ok
but also like?? dont put more than one per bag?? otherwise the cashier has to like dig through it to scan each one & it kinda defeats the purpose & also takes forever
if u have multiple of one fruit/vegetable/etc put them in a bag bc half that shit goes by weight anyway & its REALLY hard to weigh it when ur trying to put everything on the scale & it keeps catching the barcode & ringing it up before ur done. & then u like.. still have some left & also ur like wait did that last one get weighed w that or not? did it register weight from my hand when i was putting it down??
also like. even if it doesnt go by weight. put it in a bag. no one wants to pick up 20 individual oranges that keep rolling around on the damn belt
PLEASE when u do bag things keep different items separate even if theyre the same price bc it fucks up the inventory
i know the peppers are all a dollar but yellow peppers have a different plu than red peppers okay!!
also dont bag like... regular items??? we have a lady who always puts her yogurt in the produce bags like do u realize how hard that makes it to scan them?? esp bc theyre all different flavors so again we cant just scan one and do a quantity bc it fucks up the inventory
& my god if ur gonna buy fuckin. 30 bottles of pop & keep them in the cart MAKE SURE THEYRE NEAT!! we have to be able to count them!! i dont want to scan 30 individual bottles just like you dont want to put them all on the belt but we gotta be able to Actually See how many u have & im not risking my job over u stealing a bottle of pop accidentally or otherwise!! corporate doesnt give a shit if its an accident
also like... if ur gonna put one on the belt & say “oh i have this many” but u have like. different kinds please put up one of each bc again. inventory
also KEEP THINGS GROUPED TOGETHER it makes it a lot easier to bag shit. u dont like everything all thrown in bags randomly?? dont put it on the belt randomly!! group like ur cans ur cold shit ur produce etc etc please
but dont fuckin.. stack shit?? even if its not very high the belt Loves to push things around & knock shit over dont do it
also idk if other stores do this but where i work theres a part of the belt thats like narrower than the rest & it kinda slants toward the cashier & its supposed to like... guide the items along but its fucking GARBAGE & instead it just smashes shit. so PLEASE try not to put ur items wider than that narrowest part. its ok if like some things are a little bit over but like dont put it all the way to both edges of the belt!! things will get stuck or smashed. do not trust that thing it does not do its job
also!! dividers exist for a reason!! even if u think ur order is far enough away from the persons in front of u its hard to tell sometimes bc again, shit gets backed up & the belt pushes it all together
also if ur gonna leave things in ur cart try to make sure the barcodes are visible?? please dont make me flip over all of your six cases of pop bc the barcodes are on the bottom (which like, they should absolutely put it in more than one place but... they dont). just put it so the barcode is up or out or otherwise in a position that is easily accessible
dont put money/ coupons directly on the belt. it will eat them
try to have ur money ready?? i know sometimes u kinda. forget. but please try. cashiers are usually timed & when u take forever to pay it kinda... counts against us
also re: being timed please try to know what ur actually getting like...before?? u start to check out??? i know sometimes things add up to more than u initially expected but like. dont take five minutes to decide on each and every item u have. we do have price checks. please use them
god please put the fucking bags in ur cart as they fill up (also this doesnt rly... apply everywhere, but we have our bags on like a carousel where i work so if the store u go to has that dont reach over to a bag the cashier is still working on theres a reason they havent turned it towards u yet)
please if ur using reusable bags (which by the way we all fucking hate. just use the regular ones & recycle them. the reusable ones are a pain to pack) PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E MAKE SURE THEYRE CLEAN god ppl come in w em & theyve got like... food spilled on em, theyre sticky, a lot of them have pet hair all over them like.... dont be that person okay
re: grouping things together, & this is kinda more directed at other cashiers but maybe dont... put like pet food w chemicals. i know a lot of ppl just group all the non food stuff together but like. it is still technically food. its not food for you, but another living thing is still going to consume that. if u wouldnt put it with YOUR food dont put it w ur pets food
dont complain that there are no registers open or the lines are long or theres no carts or a bunch of things were out of stock please we already know i promise u a thousand ppl before u have already complained abt it & weve already called the appropriate manager or department but there is nothing we as cashiers can personally do about it
if u ask to talk to a manager!! please say why!! esp if the cashier asks. dont just say “i want to talk to a manager” over & over bc the manager is probably Fucking Busy & usually its something that can be solved another way!! 99% of the time theres no need for them to get involved & it would be faster to get it taken care of if we DONT have to call them & have them drop what theyre doing to come & talk to you personally
dont try to sneak into a closed lane w a long line. we see you. & when we say “this line is closed” dont say “i was already here” bc no u fucking werent. if our lane is closed u better believe we are watching the end of that line like a fucking HAWK to make sure we get outta there as soon as fucking possible.
also please dont pull the “but i only have a few things!!” act bc i swear half the ppl who do that can never make up their mind on what they actually want. & also now i either gotta stay even LONGER letting ten other ppl w three things each into my line or look like an asshole for saying no to everyone else that just has a few items. i know ur trying to get out of here. so am i.
my god please if ur going to like the twelve items or fewer lane. 20 of the same thing doesnt count as one item. we cant do quantities on those lanes BECAUSE they are supposed to be a limited amount of items anyway so we shouldnt NEED a quantity option. just go to a regular lane
also dont try to go into one of those lanes w a bunch of shit?? if ur a couple items over its fine but like... dont be an asshole. “but all the other lines are long” isnt an excuse. u know WHY this line is short? bc the ppl in it only have a couple items & we can get them through faster. if u try to go through those lanes w a bunch of items ur backing up the line & deafeating the whole purpose. dont be an asshole!!!
god theres. so much more. but this is already So Long and i am So Tired. im gonna take a nap
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