#you have to parent yourself

[queerbitchdiaz-archived]

.

#the most annoying thing about being an adult is realizing that you are automatically a parent #you have to parent yourself #like babe I know you feel like shit and you wanna lay down and cry #but let’s just press pause and try to figure out why we feel these emotions okay sweetie? #did you eat? #did you sleep? #did you drink enough water? #please stop crying so we can figure out what’s wrong ffs

[marzipanandminutiae]

on the flip side of that Toxic Skincare Obsession post: I’m tired of seeing sun protection presented as another frivolous, unnecessary product of the patriarchy

“I’m going to sit in the sun with wine and enjoy it and fuck anti-aging products like SPF!” I mean yes normalize and celebrate people- especially women -not looking 22 forever but also

Skin Cancer Is Bad Maybe?

#sun protection #skincare #you don't even have to use a tanning bed or lay out in the sun or whatever #neither of my parents have ever intentionally tanned; they just seldom wore sunscreen for decades #and they've both had pre-cancerous cells chemically burned off their faces #no such thing as a safe tan in the long run. it's not that you should stress yourself out about it #but you SHOULD take reasonable precautions #(and yes dark-skinned people too. Black people tend to have worse outcomes with melanoma because doctors trained on light skin #may not catch it soon enough) #Everyone! Needs! Sun Protection! #It is not a frivolous beauty thing!

[cum-villain]

being a true scum villain scholar means understanding that luo binghe is the one with the emotional intelligence in bingqiu

#braincell posting #luo binghe #bingqiu #svsss #look when you reach a point where you talk about sqh's 4 parental dynamics then you kinda have to call yourself a scholar

[cerise-on-top]

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again #I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again #just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about #könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent #I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier #because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well #and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself? #I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right #it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too #but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write #I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to #was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then #so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important! #either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!

[unspuncreature]

obi-wan should’ve been at the club!!!!!

#thinking about obi-wan only really ever being alone after the fall of the republic #from padawan to master overnight. someone was responsible for you and now they’re gone and you’re responsible for a whole person. good luck #been chewing on this a lot lately #if you have very young parents then you understand #obi-wan was so young and he spent all of his best years living for someone else #and as complicated as the feelings might have been he loved it and wouldn’t have traded it for anything #who he is as a person is inextricable from his responsibility to anakin #he was a master first and obi-wan second in the same way #that you become [x]’s mom/dad first and yourself second the moment you have a kid #these thoughts aren’t going anywhere i just need to get this out of my system lol #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #star wars #scout.txt

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

#the unwanted guest #the unwanted guest spoilers #the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #augustine the first #pyrrha dve #palamedes sextus #this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate) #the locked tomb meta #the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though. #of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world #utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there #and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea #when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter #it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level' #she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him #because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing #to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after #IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival #ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god #gaining nothing at the cost of everything

[vesemirsexual]

I maintain that Lambert is too smart to ever end up with a child surprise. However if he was drunk, high, concussed and out of his mind enough for it to happen, I feel like no one would find out for years until someone found like. His hidden pile of school reports

Turns out Lambert is like uh yuh you dead beats? I see my kid yearly? Pay my child support? None of you are shit, I’ve been to an absolutely terrible flute recital. Btw my kid is cooler than all of you and can hit rats with knives really well

#he’s got a case of school reports letters and bad drawings #taught that kid a potion of shit yourself for a mean teacher #he’s like damn I guess I have parental responsibility now #everyone is melting down while lambert is like sorry I’m smarter and better than all of you. #As if it’s my fault. #katie txt

[sandinmybed]

can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.

most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.

#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn #its just a pattern ive observed online #im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words #but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help #youre a fucking idiot lol #people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online #how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders #of those spaces have been telling them #you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause. #text #like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim #and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh #like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation #some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore #and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time! #unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them #very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you #have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents will convince you that you're 'too old to be cared for' from the second you can understand words. Normal parents will not consider their children too old to care for even when they're 50.

#psychological abuse #child neglect #child abuse #abusive parents #grooming #toxic parents #you're always too old for everything good #missed your chance to be cute enough so they would hug you #missed your chance to have anyone pay attention to you #you should be able to do everything yourself from age zero #refusal to care for their own child

[manygreetingsfriend]

i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign

#god of war #i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know #something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become #to survive this long #up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change #it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this. #it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better #we MUST be better. than they were. #who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes. #i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return #you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth. #you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better. #i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better #i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it? #this series has destroyed me. #dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate) #can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’ #AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!! #sindri’s face. has not left my memory #i’m dying scoob #gow #gowr

[whydoidothistomyselfandothers]

I KNEW IT

#moonlight chicken #We all knew #But it's one thing to suspect and another to have it verified for sure #Unbelievable the carelessness of these parents #Heartliming #Moonlight chicken ep 5 #Not Li Ming having to interpret for YOUR OEN SON #Ma'am are you not embarrassed #Are you not ashamed of yourself #Look at yourself look at your choices #Never even TRIED #The level of emotional neglect is literally child abuse take Heart away from them istg

[francesderwent]

something that I think the “have fun and be yourself” discourse tends to miss is that it’s all very well saying do whatever you want and don’t worry about what people think because the people who judge you aren’t worth your time, but sometimes you choose to act normal because you have a task to do or you’re in a conversation that you care about, and having to stop in the middle for your interlocutor to say bewilderedly “but why did you do that in such a quirky way” would be wasting time and getting off topic. choosing to act normal to avoid that is not being inauthentic out of unhealthy fear of censure. it’s just prudence.

#spoken like someone who didn’t get made fun of by my parents as a child? yeah guilty. I have anxiety but I don’t think people hate me #but babes….I love being normal. I love slipping in and out of situations without leaving any ripples. #it’s like being a spy. #and honestly it’s a way of showing respect to people—recognizing that their time and understanding is as important as your self-expression. #there’s a time and a place for being weird and funny and remarkable #there is also a time and a place for politely following the script #or using clear ordinary language #do you need to feel guilty if this is a skill you have been unable to develop? no of course not. #but it IS a skill and a healthy society (and healthy families) would encourage young people to develop it #the one-sided emphasis on being yourself has utterly failed to keep people from feeling anxious #it has to be balanced by a confidence that you know how to handle yourself in situations! #in which cate tells stories

[stars-self-ships]

This imagine goes out to the self-shippers who either choose not to associate with their family, or unfortunately are in a position where they may not have much of a family at all.

The latter half of the year— specifically, the holidays— can be a tough time for many for a myriad of reasons, but just know that throughout it all, your F/Os see you, are here for you, and will remain by your side no matter what.

Think of all of your F/Os not only as one big family, but your true family, whether or not the first paragraph of this post applies to you. If it all becomes too much and you are disillusioned by the notion that you're all alone— you're not.

Your F/Os couldn't be happier to have you in their lives and are so thankful for you. Romantic, platonic, familial or parental, just you being the person that you are makes them even happier than you could possibly fathom.

💞 Remember that. 💞

💖 Proshippers/Comshippers are not welcome to interact with this post. 💖

#Star's F/O Imagines #F/O Imagines #Imagine Your F/O #Imagine Your Fictional Other #F/O Positivity #Romantic F/O #Platonic F/O #Familial F/O #Parental F/O #Yet another instance of me reminding myself of something that I thought several other people needed to hear. 💞 #I tend to not be super into the last few months of the year for reasons this post alludes to (Aside from my birthday lol) #But let me tell you— reminding yourself that your F/Os are your true family will do WONDERS in getting you though this time. #I shouldn't have to remind you just how special you are to them all. How special you are in general. 💖 #No matter what... you are their entire world and so much more. #Remember: You are valid and your F/Os love you for you!!

[figsandphiltatos]

adaine's family relationships are something i can actually be so incredibly normal about too btw

#like. a little bit later adaine's father gives her a useless orb for spell casting #and she points out it's not practical and he says 'i try my best with you! i really do!' #like. it's about parents who fundamentally don't understand you #it's about parents who have such a narrow and rigid idea of what's acceptable that when you start to find yourself outside of it #they can't even recognize you. #it's about watching your sister (aelwyn) seamlessly meet the conditions that are required to achieve your parents' love #and then not even being able to comprehend how to do that for yourself #it's about asking questions and being met with hostility for challenging the status quo #it's about experiencing unfairness and asking why and your parents' unflinching answer being: #because i'm your parent and i decide when things are fair #and i dont HAVE to figure out why i act this way much less make the adjustment to make it fair #anyway :)))))) #fh #fantasy high #adaine abernant

[laesas]

I don't know how much more explicit the message of "THIS IS GROOMING" could have been without Be On Cloud superimposing it in all-caps text over every one of Non and his teacher's scenes. People interpreting that as "cheating" are cracked in the fucking head.

#dead friend forever #dff the series #barcode fucking killed those scenes!!! the desperation and discomfort and resignation!?!! #the fact that Non was textually terrified of dying at the hands of Tee's uncles gang unless he found that money #and once he accepted it and Keng held that power over him did he lean in to kiss him. #theres a reason that even universoty professors are fired for having relationships with their ADULT students. #because holding a position of institutional power over someone like that in a relationship is deeply deeply disfunctional and bad #do you think that if you were a child that felt they had literally nowhere else to turn. not to parents. or friends. or partner. #and a teacher said they would fix all your problems in a room with a closed door and kissed you. #you wouldnt feel obligated to kiss back and offer yourself up in exchange??? #because what?? you're too moral??? you'd rather die??? #THIS IS HOW GROOMING HAPPENS. ITS ADULTS SEEKING OUT THE MOST VULNERABLE PEOPLE IN THEIR CLASSES AND HOLDING SOMETHING OVER THEM. #IF I SEE ANYONE CALLING NON A CHEATER AGAIN I AM GOING TO KILL. #ITS STATUTORY RAPE. YOU THICK FUCKS. #KENG MADE HIM KEEP HIS SCHOOL UNIFORM ON. HE'S A FUCKING PEDOPHILE. #IM GOING TO KILL. #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOME OF YALL ARE THE STUPIDEST MOTHERFUCKERS AROUND. YOURE STUPID. YOURE SO FUCKING DUMB. GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

You know, being secretive and private about his personal life is kind of Spy's whole thing, but I feel like a fun little alternative to taking that route could be just to make him a massive fucking habitual liar. They dont even have to be relevant lies that hide any important information, it could legit just be him lying about his hair color to the team or smth. I know this is already pretty common so it's nothing new under the sun but I just think it'd be pretty funny if instead of being like: "no scout, I did not bang your mother" it could be like: "no scout, I did not bang your mother, but I am gay, so watch out for your dad"

#tf2 #team fortress two #my post #tf2 headcanons #tf2 spy #bro got that mansplain malewife misinform <3 #so technically he's lying but also making up complete random bullshit #to Sniper at 3am: ''oh did you not know? I'm not actually French. I'm from Canada'' <- a complete lie that does not benefit him in any way #whats the point of being given the perfect opportunity to invent a whole new identity for yourself if you dont take the chance to make #yourself a Canadian fake blond man that is gay- married to a prince in Turkey and may or may not have banged both of Scout's parents #silly chatters