#you know who else is embarrassingly relatable

[manofmanymons]

No one asked but I feel like talking about them so I will

I could go on all day about all the different reasons I really love Miu and Kaito as characters, but I could also do the same for literally every other character. Bc I love the entire cast of Survive to death and have more to say about them than anyone would ever want to hear.

But the main reason these two stand out to me above the rest despite the fact that I wouldn't say they're BETTER by any means is just that...they're so relatable to me, it almost hurts.

Starting with Miu, I'm both a younger sibling and the youngest in my friend group. So like, I'm no stranger to being coddled to death. Even people who I've specifically asked to stop treating me like a child still act like I'll somehow accidentally kill myself if they leave me alone for ten seconds. I'm an adult and literally earlier today my roommate freaked out that my hand was too close to the stove even though I've been cooking and baking for us for the past week. And it's infuriating! I know they mean well and I know it's because they care but ffs it makes me feel like everyone thinks I'm some kind of weak useless idiot. I digress (spoilers for the harmony route) I also know what it's like to have parents that won't believe you when bad things happen to you and try to blame you for things that can't possibly be your fault. I ALSO also know what it's like to have a special interest that means a lot to me but that other people think is weird.

And with Kaito

Boy I don't even know where to start with him

Guess I'll start with saying even though I just said I'm a younger sibling, my family dynamic is a little weird. My sister has always been a bit of a troublemaker, while I was the "so mature for your age" kid, so for as long as I can remember, I've been the one looking after her. I've always felt so responsible for her, and when some shit happened to her in our old town that was bad, well...it kinda felt like I failed my one (1) job. Our parents didn't take her side in what happened; in fact they were pretty pissed at her for getting into trouble. And she didn't wanna tell her friends. So I was really just...all she had. If I wasn't there for her, then no one was. We moved to a new town, she started acting up more, things got difficult. I hated my classmates and my family and I was just so goddamn angry all the time that I was constantly getting in fights at school. It's a lonely experience, feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and no one even notices or cares. And it wasn't until YEARS later that even my sister looked back and was like "holy shit I would've gone insane without you" and even acknowledged that I did a lot for her. So yeah I guess you could say I know how it feels to love someone and want to do anything you can for them even if you're not sure they love you back.

It's exhausting and frustrating and you get PISSED a LOT. Sometimes at them. Especially when they get mad at you when you're just trying to keep them SAFE goddammit why don't they GET THAT. But you don't just stop loving them, ya know? And yeah that makes me a hypocrite considering earlier I said I hate when people feel like they need to protect me, but also my 5 foot 90lb sister tryna go out ALONE with telling anyone where she's going is not the same as me having someone pull a box cutter out of my hands because "sweetie be careful that's sharp"

ANYWAYS

The hyperspecific circumstance of being an edgy 14 year old suddenly adopted into a friend group where people are baffling kind to you and now you have to learn how to communicate with words is just comically relatable like Kaito gives me so much secondhand embarrassment with his shitty communication skills. Like I, the player, understand exactly what he's TRYING to say. But then what he actually says is just so far off the mark that I cringe at the flashbacks of teen me doing the same thing. Like okay spoilers for the wrathful route and dracmon's mega evolution but FOR EXAMPLE

The time he tried to tell Aoi that he understood that she felt responsible for Saki's death but that it really wasn't her fault and she did all she could but he accidentally made her feel 10x worse instead

And the time the sentiment of "please leave so I can go all out in this battle knowing that you are safe because you're important to Miu which makes you important to me and I need to protect you" just came out as like "get out of my way"

He tries so hard to do good but he fails so much at conveying his intentions that it always comes across as bad and it makes me so sad for him because like...MOOD, little buddy.

Even though the violent cringey little bastard that was 14 year old me doesn't exist anymore and hasn't in a very long time, Kaito is just such an intensely personal character to me—to an almost terrifying extent. He occupies a very special place in my heart, even over characters I've loved for years. He's my favorite little guy!

#this got so personal and ranty should I even tag it #kaito shinonome #miu shinonome #you know who else is embarrassingly relatable #fucking #shuuji #i graduated highschool at the top 3% of my class and my dads unironic genuine response was why not 1% #placed 5th in a state wide competition and nearly broke down crying bc it wasnt good enough #ily shuuji #digimon survive was fucking PERSONAL for me yall dont understand #catch me kinning half the cast #DID I MENTION MY ENTIRE WARDROBE WAS BLACK AND RED AND I FUCKING DYED MY HAIR BLOND #BECAUSE YEAH THAT WAS ANOTHER THING TEENAGE ME DID #my friends kept calling me kenma bc of my pudding hair kskdkf #fuck it i tagged it anyways tumblr let my interests connect me to my people lmao

[pokichuwrites]

Edit: adding a “read more” tab because scrolling through this beast is a nightmare. No tws except uhh traffic series typical mentions of death.

“You know Grian, I forgive you.”

Grian jumped embarrassingly high, and spun around to see Scar, who was smiling at him. Perhaps he was a little on edge now that the entire server was red. That’s fine. It’s fine. “You- Scar! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Scar giggled, and Grian huffed, crossing his arms. “Come on G, it was pretty funny.”

Grian sighed. “Ugh, fine. Well, you made your way all over here. What do you want?”

Scar cleared his throat dramatically, and threw out his left arm, his right hand was holding onto his cane, or else he probably would have held out both arms, as if he was silently asking for a one armed hug.

“I just want to talk to you, is that so wrong!” Scar smiled at him. It was frustratingly endearing.

“Nothing wrong, I just… wasn’t expecting it. That’s all,” Grian explained. He didn’t really believe Scar that he just wanted to talk to Grian. There was something more. Scar was going to… trick Grian, or something. He didn’t know. They weren’t exactly allies this season, and Scar hasn’t been very trustworthy.

“Haven’t you learned to expect the unexpected, G?” Scar asked, leaning against his cane and gesturing as he talked. “How about we walk to my base and I tell you about my day and you tell me about yours?”

“You know, if the session wasn’t over already I’d assume this was related to a task,” Grian said, not moving any closer to Scar.

Scar dramatically gasped, touching his hand to his chest. “I’m wounded, Grian, that you don’t trust me.”

“I literally watched you set our trees on fire,” he deadpanned.

“Funny thing, that actually was a task,” Scar seemed… nervous. Grian just noticed all of a sudden, Scar seemed nervous about something. “But right now I just want to talk to my good friend Grian. No shenanigans involved, I swear!”

“Alright, alright, but we’re talking here. I’m not following you to your base.” Grian turned, knowing Scar would follow him as he walked into the space he shared with Cleo and Etho.

Grian knew Scar was following by the sound of his cane tapping the path, then the wood. “You know I can’t hurt you outside of a session!” Scar argued.

“That doesn’t mean that I trust you. The rules have been broken before, you know.” He didn’t mean for his voice to get a little sharp at the mention of breaking rules, but it did anyway.

Scar made a disappointed noise, but relented. “That’s fair, I guess.”

They had entered the base, and Cleo, who was working on fixing a tear in Etho’s pants, noticed Scar, and frowned. “What’s going on?” She asked.

Grian shrugged. “Scar said he wanted to talk to me.”

Cleo fixed Scar with a look. That scary look she gives someone when she doesn’t trust someone to not hurt her allies.

“Wh- hey- come on, why’s everyone looking at me like that! I really do just want to talk!” Scar said defensively.

“You don’t have the best track record when it comes to these things, Scar.” Cleo set aside the pants to stare at Scar without risking pricking her fingers with the seeing needle.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Scar lied.

Grian scoffed. “Says the man who conned people out of their clothes multiple times. By the way, where’s Etho?”

“He’s in Bdubs’ bedroom,” Cleo replied, smiling slightly.

Scar looked between Grian and Cleo. “Well, would you happen to know somewhere we can talk without risking someone else listening in on us?” He asked, speaking slowly and carefully.

Grian crossed his arms. “Well, the zombie farm or the enchanter would work,” he started, “but I don’t see any reason to want to talk to you in private.”

Scar frowned. “Come on, I promise, no shenanigans! I just want to talk to you!” He sounded frustrated, and he probably was considering the conversation.

Cleo hummed. “How about this. Scar, if you and Grian talk, and you do any shenanigans, I’ll sick my dogs on you first thing next session.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die, no shenanigans!”

Grian considered it. After a bit of thinking, he gave up with a sigh. “Alright, let’s meet at the enchanter. If anything happens, though, I’m telling Cleo.” Cleo always makes good on her promises, so that at least made Grian feel safe.

Scar grinned. “Yay!”

—————

They chose the enchanting set up. That way it would be easier for Grian to run out and shout for Cleo if he felt unsafe.

He was closer to the exit than Scar, who was sitting on one of the bookshelves.

He leaned against the wall and looked at Scar, genuinely curious. “Why did you want to talk in private?” He asked.

Scar closed his eyes. “I’ve been thinking. About past seasons. I… we never really got closure, did we?”

Oh, that made sense. Grian almost felt bad for being so resistant to talking to Scar, now. Almost.

“I don’t think we did,” Grian replied. Scar was fidgeting with his cane.

“Well, I meant what I said earlier. I forgive you.”

Grian gave pause. Scar was forgiving him. After… everything. “For what?” He asked.

“Everything, I guess. For stealing a life from me in Last Life, for… the thing with BigB in Double Life, for killing me… multiple times in Limited Life. I forgive you.” Scar was quiet. It was so weird, Scar’s voice was quieter than he ever remembered it getting, save for whispering whenever he was sneaking around doing suspicious things.

“Even for Third Life?” Grian found that his voice was quieter too.

Scar looked at Grian for a moment, like the question was ridiculous or something. “What would I need to forgive you for in Third Life?”

Grian was incredulous. “Killing you? Two times?”

Scar giggled. “Oh, that? Grian, I forgave you a long time ago.” He paused, before adding, “I forgave you for that first kill pretty quickly. And I was never upset at you for winning that fight. We both said no hard feelings, right?”

Then he said something else. Very quietly- so quietly that he almost didn’t think he heard him. He had muttered something along the lines of “you deserved the win more than me anyway.”

Grian was sure that wasn’t what Scar said. It couldn’t be, right? There was no way Scar thought he deserved to win more than him. He didn’t push it, though. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what Scar had actually said.

Finally, he remembered that he needed to respond. “Oh, so you. Really do forgive me for everything.” He looked down, fidgeting with his sweater. “Why?” He had asked that last question very, very quietly.

Scar was quiet for a moment, thinking about his response. “I think I understand. I didn’t, at first. I… specifically with BigB. Everything else I knew was just how the game was, but when you… gosh, I still can’t say it…” his voice wavered as he spoke. “Anyway, I’m sure you know that the secrets tasks have been causing some… situations. You know, doing bad things because you have to. I- well, you-” he sighed. “I think I realized in session 4, when you… you were so nice to me. You didn’t have to tell me not to remove the helmet, and you didn’t have to keep my secret.”

“Scar.”

“I’m not finished. You- I was so stressed. And you understood. I didn’t think about it immediately, I was just relieved to not have to wear that stupid diamond helmet, by I definitely realized by the end of the session. My tasks kept… my tasks kept putting me in situations I really didn’t want to be in, Grian.” He looked away. He touched his face, and he wondered mindlessly if Scar was crying. After a few seconds, Scar continued. “And I- I sort of gamified it. Like, I’m not actually doing bad things, it’s… well, I treated it like I was only acting like I was a bad person, because technically I was.” He turned to face Grian again. “It’s shockingly easy to justify betraying someone. To justify hurting your friends for your benefit.”

“Scar?”

“I don’t think… Grian, you never meant to really hurt me, did you? I mean, I think you knew that certain things weren’t nice, but you never meant things ro turn out the way they did.” Scar was definitely avoiding looking at Grian. Grian didn’t really mind, he wasn’t sure if he could stand looking at Scar’s painfully earnest expression. He was really putting all his cards on the table. “I understand now. And I still wish you didn’t do some of the things you did, but I forgive you.”

Grian walked over to Scar, and hugged him. He seemed surprised, jumping slightly, before wrapping his arms around Grian too.

“Scar…” Grian muttered.

“If you don’t accept my forgiveness I will cry,” Scar threatened, as if he wasn’t already crying. Grian didn’t comment on that.

“I’m not very good at apologizing, I’ve realized.” Scar chuckled in reply to that. “I’m sorry,” Grian added, “for not realizing sooner how much I’ve hurt you.”

Scar let go first, Grian did the same after a moment and stepped back. “Can we agree to never tell anyone else about this conversation?” Grian asked.

Scar nodded. “Yeah.” He reached for his cane, realizing suddenly that he had dropped it without realizing, and it had rolled away from him. He muttered under her breath in frustration. Grian picked up the object and offered it to Scar, who smiled at him and accepted it, standing up.

“You know this won’t change how we interact during sessions, right?” Grian asked as he wordlessly helped Scar up.

Scar began walking in front of Grian. “I do, yeah. I just wanted to let you know I forgive you.”

Grian smiled. “Alright.”

The two didn’t say anything else as they left the enchanting room. They didn’t need to. They had said “bye” quietly to each other, then Scar left to go to his base.

————

As Grian walked into the base, Cleo looked at him. She had finished her work on Etho’s pants, which weren’t anywhere ro be seen now. Grian assumed they had been returned to him. “Anything happen that I should know about?”

Grian walked over to her. “No,” he replied, “nothing.”

Cleo sighed. She looked Grian over, suspicious. “You sure? You know I will make good on my promise.”

Grian shook his head. “I swear everything’s fine, Cleo. Scar did have something important to talk about.”

“I assume you’re not going to tell me?” Cleo asked as she fed rotten flesh to her dogs.

“It’s… personal,” Grian replied.

Cleo nodded in understanding. “I get it.” She gestured to the staircase, which led to the bedroom they made for Bdubs while Etho refused to shut up about him. “By the way, your wings are a mess. Do you want Etho and I to preen them?”

Grian hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah that would be nice.” He moved upstairs, then avoided the hole from the tnt minecart as he entered the bedroom. “Hey, Etho.”

He looked up at Grian and Cleo. “Hey,” he replied.

Grian sat on the bed as Cleo explained to Etho that Grian needed his wings preened. And then the soothing motions of two pairs of hands running through his wings practically turned him liquid. His conversation with Scar had left him tense without realizing. The reminder of the past that Grian just wanted to put behind him. He remembered now, in this moment, something that he forgot a few seasons ago.

The gentle moments like this, the comfort of people he trusted enough to allow them to touch his wings in the first place, they would always happen as long as he let them. Grian had forgotten how it felt to completely and fully trust. He always trusted his allies, but not enough to let them preen his wings. Not enough to know, in every fiber of his being, that they would keep their promises. The last time Grian let an ally preen his wings was Scar, back in Third Life.

Maybe he could heal. Maybe he could peel away all the layers of distrust and hurt. Just maybe…

Grian realized he was crying, but he found that he didn’t care. He was comfortable and safe and happy. Next session would probably be the last session, on a server full of reds and animosity, the chance of anyone seeing a session 10 was incredibly low. But that would be a problem for later Grian. Current Grian was being preened by his friends, his allies.

#traffic series #life series #writing #grian #goodtimeswithscar #ethoslab #zombiecleo #secret life

[lunetual]

♡ HAPPY TAEHYUN DAY ♡ to my star boy, my very best boy, my boy with entire universes in his eyes. i don’t know that i could say it better than yeonjun so i’ll just echo his words — i hope taehyun can have a better birthday than anyone else can.

quick cc note: ah, taehyunnie! i always say he’s my most special kpop boy and like! i mean it! from the drop he has had such a particular place in my heart. and by from the drop i literally mean from day one when txt hadn’t even debuted yet and we all thought taehyun was a rapper. ah, the good ol’ days. we’ve come so far since then!

every time i look at how well he’s growing up, how he’s really coming into his own, i just feel. SO so proud. i worry that i’m getting repetitive in these tubatu bday notes always talking about how they’ve grown so much and so well but it’s just. i can’t help it. to me the tubatus are like. my little brother group? it is such a privilege to me to have been able to watch taehyun turn from this clever, bright eyed, ambitious little rookie to... well, he’s still clever, bright-eyed, and ambitious! but he’s older and wiser and even steadier than before. he’s always been so confident and surefooted about what he wants but now he’s also got all the weight and knowledge of nearly four years of working as an active idol behind him.

i love how quick-witted he is and how genuinely funny he is around his members and when it’s just moas, but how he gets shy and says he is no fun on variety shows. i love the way he tries to make eye contact with every fan he can at performances and the way he spends so much time interacting with moas on weverse. (i love when he uses weverse as google... like nothing makes me feel more embarrassingly fond than when he’s desperately asking whether it’s okay he swallowed a feather or casually inquiring about geopolitical relations in europe.) i love the way he throws himself into this job with his whole self. i love that he’s so passionate about it, that he’s so serious about it. this is his craft and he really doggedly pursues the avenues he wants to — i’m glad he’s getting to write and topline more and i’m over the MOON that he’s been discussing releasing a mixtape with the company. i love his tenacity to continuously improve and his tenacity to maintain his own standard of excellence. he works so hard to do so. another thing i love SO much is like. okay so, i’ve said this before but. if yeonjun works hard and likes that he can make things look effortless, taehyun works hard and likes for us to see that hard work. :’)

speaking of yeonjun, i think the other thing i love so so much about taehyun is how much he loves his members. he has so much faith in them and you can just tell that if he could do it all over he’d choose those four boys every single time. when soobin said that taehyun really cares about the people in his circle and not at all in a personal way about those not in his circle and that he can tell that they are in taehyun’s circle.... well what am i supposed to do but cry? the way he and hyuka are forever soulmates, the way he never stops telling yeonjun that he’s his driving force, the way that he always lets soobin know that he’s the best leader, the way that he and beomgyu pretend that they’re so different with their mbtis but are always, always there for each other and looking out for each other in every way that counts.

to taehyun!! my boy who lives so tucked inside my heart, who has lived there ever since that little intro video over four years ago now. i think no matter what happens, no matter how busy i am or where i am in life, i will always be rooting for you. i will always be proud of you. every which way i look at it, you have so much still ahead of you and i have no doubt that you will excel at everything you choose pursue — if not right away, then in no time at all. i hope this year is just the biggest one yet and that it gives you so many reasons to laugh. and most of all, i hope that you always, always keep those stars in your eyes.

♡

#taehyun #kang taehyun #txtnetwork #moasource #moahour #moacentral #kpopgfxs #mine: gfx #txt.meg #bday collection #WHEEEE another movie poster <3 #unfortunately i want this movie so bad.... lakdjfladks #as usual tysm and sorry if u make it all the way through my sappy sappy cc note !! #i hope u guys like it though hehe <3 #usermowah #hijaehyukkies #usergyukai #aleksbestie #marieblr #wabisarah #marekwan #heetual #userfairy #ayabestie #useryeonjuins #useryjunies #tuserchrissy #ocora #majatrack

[goshdangronpa]

any of the warriors of hope because those little buggers have been on my mind for months and they won't leave help

(obvs no sexuality stuff because come on man)

Hi, friend! Any of the Warriors of Hope? How about ... all of them?!

Like-like headcanon: Masaru still thinks liking girls is icky and he's not yet aware that boys can like boys. Jataro believes that cooties are real and the grossest cooties are his own. Kotoko is clearly enthusiastic about girls but will have to really sort some stuff out as she gets older. Nagisa was never the type to think that like-liking someone is gross - he's always wanted to get married. Monaca sees the human heart as just another instrument she can play ... but she'll mellow out if given enough time and care, and then, who knows?

Gender headcanon: Masaru is the boyest boy to ever boy ... which is what I tried to be and look how I turned out lmao. Jataro is cis, but his takes on gender are so galaxy-brained that you wouldn't believe he's not on Tumblr. Kotoko will adopt more androgynous affects over time, exploring cuteness outside of traditional femininity. Nagisa can go on for a long time about his view of his own gender, but if asked to summarize, he'd say he doesn't have one. With little to go on besides my own intuition, I'm surprisingly confident that Monaca is a trans boy.

One ship I have with them: Eh, kinda weird to ship them with anyone since they're little kids. Even Kotoko, who at one point in her boss battle declares that she wants to have children with Monaca, probably doesn't like her as much by the end of UDG. Same with Nagisa, poor guy ... but they've all still got each other.

One BroTP I have with them: Gonna use this section to declare which DR teen they'd get along with (note: I haven't played much of DRS). Masaru would be thrilled by Kazuichi, a neon-haired, shark-toothed, funny-voiced goblin man who builds robots, and Kazuichi would rather embarrassingly treasure the validation from a pretty cool kid. Angie would love love love Jataro, though anyone who knows her will make sure someone else supervises them so that arts-n-crafts playtime doesn't become Baby's Second Cult. I think Sayaka and Kotoko would have a lot that they can talk about together, and I believe she'd do everything she can to nurture and protect the kid. Nekomaru and Akane would be a refreshing pair for Nagisa: they'd focus on training his body rather than his mind, but in a way that's actually healthy and clearly caring. Monaca should probably be kept away from most people for now, but Hajime is uniquely suited to be friendly with her ... so they can wax about Nagito's weirdness together.

One NoTP I have with them: I guess anyone? Since, again, they're little kids?

Random headcanon: When Masaru goes on long walks, he looks for long sticks to carry and will exchange them for even bigger ones he finds along the way. Jataro's reading comprehension is poor, but he can already do basic algebra. Kotoko's never felt safer on a film set than when she played a creepy kid in an R-rated horror movie. Nagisa can take catnaps on command for the same reason soldiers do: they never know when their next chance to catch some sleep could be. Monaca may be the rare person who would become a kinder and gentler human being by joining a school theater program.

General opinion: Suitably creepy in their roles as antagonists to Komaru and Toko, crushingly sympathetic in their motivations, and really fun on their own. The Warriors of Hope are just one reason why I'd urge people to try Ultra Despair Girls, even with all the game's faults (especially the ones related to the WoH themselves). It's incredible that Kotoko can be my favorite for her winning personality despite how tastelessly the writers treat her. Jataro also has one of my favorite character voices in Danganronpa, not referring to the vocal performance (which is great!), but to his almost Dadaist dialogue. Ah, I like 'em all!

#warriors of hope #masaru daimon #jataro kemuri #kotoko utsugi #nagisa shingetsu #monaca towa #danganronpa #ultra despair girls #udg #headcanons #thanks for asking!

[raquellemonsta]

the sweet things in life (tsukishima kei x reader)

next

chapter 1: first day

(this is my new fic for my favorite haikyuu character, in which you are a karasuno first year as well)

The walk to Karasuno High School was a little bit nerve wracking, but that was to be expected. You adjusted the tie that was part of your uniform, before pulling your phone out to see how far away you were.

It was the first day of your first year of high school. You had been placed into class 1-4, which was one of the college prep classes. You did decently well in school, so it was no surprise and you weren't really concerned about your abilities. You weren't too sure what to expect though, but you were excited overall and only had minor first day jitters.

Making your way to the entrance area of the school, a large crowd of people were gathered right out front of the school. You decided to investigate a little further, and figure out where you were supposed to go.

You were put into a group of fellow classmates for new student orientation. They grouped you off by class, so you went to the man holding the sign '1-4'.

You met two girls from your class, Nakahara Mei and Yoshida Moriko. After getting to know them a little, you found Yoshida had a brother who was a third year at Karasuno, and as such she knew a lot more about the school than you did.

Looking around at the other people in your group, you caught the eyes of a tall, blond boy with glasses. You smiled at him, something which he did not return and merely looked away from you. 'Rude but whatever I guess...' you thought.

"Alright everyone, follow me!" the guy holding the sign yelled back to you. You all started walking behind the guy as he showed you the grounds of Karasuno. There were several gym buildings for sports clubs, and even a garden in the back.

The guide lead you inside, where you got to see the cafeteria and library, among other random rooms. Then, you went upstairs to see the different wings, obviously stopping the longest at the first year area and peeking inside of 1-4. Then you got to see the second year wing, which the second years had class in session while your tour was happening. One of the guys in class 2-1 made a commotion when he saw first years, explaining about how you all needed to respect you upperclassmen and some other nonsense. You quietly chuckled at his absurdity and again caught the gaze of that blond boy from earlier, along with his friend you hadn't noticed before, though the friend snickered along with you.

After that, they showed you the third year wing, which was much more chill than the second year one. They spent a lot more time planning for their adult lives quickly approaching.

"You'll actually get to talk with third years about their experiences, advice, and anything else you'd like to know about Karasuno" your tour guide told you. There were several third years stationed on either side of the next hallway you turned down, leaving opportunities for first years to interact with anyone they'd like.

You decided to walk up to a girl who had a few students (all of which were boys) around her, asking her questions that didn't all seem school-related. She was strikingly beautiful, with nice black hair, and alluring eyes behind her thin-framed glasses.

Making your way to her, you waited for her to get to you. You didn't have to wait long, as she dismissed the boys who were somewhat embarrassingly trying to make moves on her.

"Hi there, welcome to Karasuno. I'm Shimizu Kiyoko, it's nice to meet you" she politely greeted. You bowed a little bit to your senior and introduced yourself.

"I'm (l/n) (y/n) of class 1-4, it's nice to meet you Shimizu" you replied. She gave you a kind smile.

"Anything in particular you'd like to know about?" she asked. You thought about it for a little. Did you want to know about academics? No offense, but that sounded kind of boring. Plus, you didn't want to ask her a dull question and waste her time. Maybe you should ask about school wide events, but you had a feeling you would find out more about that later anyways. Clubs and things to do around the school? There you go.

"What kinds of clubs do you guys have here? I'm interested in joining one" you asked her. That seemed like the right kind of question to ask her because she smiled to you.

"Well, there's quite a lot of clubs to choose from depending on what your interests are. Art club, academic clubs, student councils, and sport clubs. Actually, I'm the manager for the boys volleyball club" she told you.

That piqued your interest. You knew some stuff about volleyball, since you would sometimes watch it when it came on TV. There was something exhilarating and calming all at the same time. It was easy to fall into a trance watching the ball go back and forth over the net, while also holding your breath on close plays.

"Is there a way that I can get involved with that?" you asked her. "I've always been interested in volleyball but don't really think I want to play it myself".

She nodded in understanding. "You could be my assistant manager, if you'd like. It's just what we need after last year" she said somewhat cryptically. You decided not to ask what exactly she meant by all of that, and instead happily accepted the opportunity to be a part of the club. You were excited to be a part of something so soon into your time there.

"I'll do it!"

"Great, practice is after school today, in the third gym. See you then" she said before turning to another student. Soon enough, the third year Q&A was over, and it was time for you to go to your classroom and review the syllabi for each class.

You couldn't keep your mind from drifting to the pretty girl from earlier, and just what was waiting for you after the school day ended.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #kiyoko shimizu #karasuno

[fcble]

DOUBLE A-SIDE: a single where both sides are designated the A-side, with no designated B-side; that is, both sides are prospective hit songs and neither side will be promoted over the other.

In which Andrew has some difficult conversations. FEATURING: Andrew Han, Yoon Mingeun, Park Intak, Kang Haksu WORD COUNT: 4.1k NOTES: Two shorter pieces with similar themes that are not exactly completely related to/reliant on one another. Can be read together or independently! Also not proofread please lmk if you find typos or something doesn't make sense.

[ A-SIDE — MAY 10, 2023 ]

Andrew steps into Intak's studio, announcing himself not with a knock or a greeting, but merely his presence. He sees a flash of movement as Intak minimizes one of his windows. 

Haksu and Mingeun trail behind him reluctantly. Andrew pulls Mingeun the rest of the way into the room and shuts the door behind all three of them.

"No one is leaving this room until we write our anniversary song," he announces.

"What if I have to piss?" Mingeun asks.

"Intak?" Andrew asks. It's almost telepathic to see Intak reach into the bowels of his desk and retrieve a plastic soda bottle. He spins in his chair and tosses it to Mingeun, who catches it, looking stunned. Andrew knows he has an almost addiction to Mountain Dew, and the bottles pile up until they spill over onto the floor.

"What if I have to shit?" Mingeun asks next.

"I don't think Andrew-hyung will keep you from using the bathroom," Haksu says. He steps around Andrew to take a seat in the worn loveseat, the only other chair in the room. He leans forward to look at Intak's screen. "Are you working?"

"Yes," Intak answers shortly.

"I asked Jaeseop to get us food if he doesn't hear from us in a few hours," Andrew says. He sits next to Haksu, dropping the bag containing his laptop on the ground, in front of Intak's electric keyboard. Its identical counterpart sits right next door in his own studio. He can't help the way his hands move automatically, picking out the beginning of Fur Elise.

“What kind of food?” Haksu asks, clearly skeptical of Andrew’s quite literal taste. “Pizza Hut, again?”

“Olive Garden,” Andrew answers cheerfully as he plays. He doesn't rise to Haksu's obvious bait—he's used to it. And he might have a point. They do eat a lot of Pizza Hut.

He turns his attention to Intak. “What are we starting with?”

“Nothing.” Intak says.

Andrew stops playing. “I was really hoping you were going to say something other than that.” He thought he could rely on Intak to have something, anything. Taein asked them months ago, in January, to start working on what would be their fifth anniversary song later in the year. Andrew had agreed, and then gone back to putting the finishing touches on his album. It was always Intak’s responsibility to produce concept-fitting songs that Taein actually liked. Andrew has no idea how to work in the gayageum and the taepyeongso and the piri and whatever else Intak uses.

Intak shrugs. “You could do it.”

“I couldn’t.” It’s a deep-seated conviction. Andrew can’t do whatever Intak does, because he doesn’t have that same knowledge of history and culture and Korea itself that seems to be inherently built into his group members. He’s reminded, embarrassingly enough, of when he heard their debut song for the first time, and asked after the vaguely string sounds in the instrumental. In Andrew’s head, string instruments were cellos and violas and violins and double basses, and maybe, and a more radical day, harps and lyres. Not Asian zithers.

“Don’t you think it’s time you tried?” Mingeun, this time. He leans against the wall, arms crossed, the room having run out of seats.

The room feels stuffy all of a sudden. Andrew has tried. Every sample Intak’s given him sounds shitty and stereotypical in his hands, like a soundtrack straight from a film scene where the characters step into a Chinatown somewhere and the lighting dims and the screen clouds with smoke. When Intak writes music with the same sample, it becomes uplifting, a celebration of a heritage and a culture yearning to burst forth in an increasingly anglicized world. Andrew envies him.

Haksu nudges Andrew with his foot. “You should.”

Andrew is frozen, unable to respond. Haksu is right. He should. But now, he feels like there’s too much at stake. His album did well—it’s their best-selling one yet—and that means he has a reputation to uphold. They have expectations for him now. They think he’s smart and talented and worthy. Andrew knows the limits of his own abilities. They don’t include writing a usual Fable title track. There’s a reason his album sounds the way it does—that’s what he knows, what he’s confident in. It’s a breath of fresh air next to the sameness of the rest of their discography. That’s his job. Not the traditional sound that defines almost all of their songs.

He pretends everything is fine. "Are you sure you don't have anything?" he asks Intak. "We don't have a lot of time."

Intak begins to scan through the files on his computer. "Because we spent so much time on your album," he grumbles. "I have demos Taein-nim rejected."

"Let's fix one of those," Andrew says decisively. Mingeun looks like he wants to argue. Or maybe that's how he always looks, because he always wants to argue.

They start with the longest ones first. Intak turns on his speakers and presses play on a three and a half minute audio file—Andrew can see the exact time if he squints.

“I remember this,” Haksu says, ten seconds into the song. As far as Andrew can tell, it’s Intak’s usual conglomeration of sounds. An unknown, echoing instrument skips in and out of the main melody. The bass is minimal, but consistent. It sounds almost interchangeable with the majority of their discography. “It’s from a long time ago. Our second mini album?”

Intak nods. “I tried again for our third. Taein-nim said no again.”

Andrew takes extensive mental notes on each subsequent song. The glacial pace of the second one, probably meant to be a ballad. The bass-driven third one, traditional instrumental lost in the 808s. The one with the beat drop that sounds like it switches to a completely different song. One with Haksu singing nonsensical demo lyrics that he doesn’t remember. Another slower-paced one, driven by a string instrumental. A rock song.

“Taein-nim said I should give that one to Neon Nights,” Intak says. 

Andrew shoots Mingeun a quizzical glance. Mingeun shakes his head. “She likes doing everything by herself,” he says in English, referring to Hwajung, the band’s main producer. The change in language surprises Andrew. They’ve all worked together before, on Andrew’s album, and then on a Neon Nights one. 

Andrew sighs. “Who doesn’t know?” he asks, also in English, because Hwajung is also Mingeun's girlfriend.

“Who do you think?” Mingeun says. “He’d get mad at me.”

It’s Haksu. Andrew knows that even if Haksu won’t say anything out loud, he’s thinking certain thoughts. Celibacy and pre-marital sex and they’re idols and all of that. 

He can't be mad at that. Mingeun and Hwajung are pretty good at keeping it on the down low, pretending they barely know one another at work. If Andrew hadn't seen them sit so close to one another they were basically sitting in the same seat while they worked on his album, he'd be no wiser than Haksu.

Haksu folds his arms over his chest. “You’re doing it again. Stop talking about me.”

"Learn English," Mingeun says, speaking Korean again. Haksu learning English would be of no detriment to them, Andrew knows. They'd fall back on broken, rusty, grammatically incorrect French, in which they can barely understand each other, because Mingeun speaks Canada's archaic French with an unintelligible accent.

Haksu grimaces. "That's Westernized," he says, as if he doesn't partake in a predominantly Western religion while dressed in Western clothes, about to eat Olive Garden in a few hours.

“The music,” Intak interrupts, and they go back to listening to shorter and shorter segments. Some of them are pieces. A chorus. A verse. Half of each. One is Intak humming a few bars. He clicks out of that one quickly.

“I wanna hear it,” Haksu says. His request is ignored.

A few minutes later, Intak finally runs out of demos.

“Taein-nim rejected all of those?” Mingeun asks. 

“I doubt he listened to all of them completely,” Intak says, “but yes.”

In Andrew’s ears, most of them have blended together. He’s grateful to hear Haksu say, “I like the orchestral one that goes like”—he hums a bit of the song—because it gives Andrew a chance to step in and say, “I thought that one was the best too.”

He does think it was one of the better ones, but mostly because it was nearly complete. His best guess for its rejection is because it's not nearly as upbeat as some of Intak's other compositions. Andrew figures it should be fine for an anniversary piece. It's better that way—something slower and steadier that demonstrates their growth as people and artists.

He starts thinking of lyrics. Something provocative and dramatic. Intak’s demo lyrics are all about a nostalgic, wintry longing that brings to mind comparisons to Robert Frost’s “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.” Andrew is thinking about something in the opposite direction, something bigger, something brighter. Love is like a volcano?

“I want to keep the idea of the lyrics,” Haksu says, breaking Andrew’s reverie.

“It’s our anniversary,” Andrew says, nearly rendered speechless from Haksu’s words. “If the melody is melancholy, the lyrics should be happier.”

“No one says shit like ‘melancholy,’” Mingeun says. “Let’s keep going with Intak-hyung’s idea.” At some point during their listening party when Andrew wasn’t paying attention, he migrated from the wall to the floor next to Intak’s desk.

Sometimes Andrew despises democracy. They weren’t always democratic. Not in the days when it was just him and Intak, because then it was Intak making most of the decisions. Andrew never wanted to intrude or overstep. He has the confidence to do so now, but he knows this is an argument he won’t win.

So he relents easily, says “Fine,” and pulls out his laptop. Mingeun looks surprised at his lack of disagreement. He really enjoys arguments, Andrew thinks.

He plays audio engineer, because he still disagrees with the idea and theme of the song. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches the three of them gather around Haksu’s notebook to develop Intak’s fledgling ideas. He sits back in his seat, losing himself the layers of the song. He listens to the song forward and back. He turns on and off each one individually, and then two or three at a time. He pictures the way the vocals will layer on top and underneath. He thinks about asking Haksu to sing one of his new lines, just so he can experiment with it. He tries not to imbue it with his own style—an extra synth here and there, a secondary melody in a minor key, one too many layers of vocals.

His flow state is interrupted by the chime of a new text message. It’s Jaeseop, texting exactly three hours after Andrew told him he was heading to work.

bringing ur food (๑>◡&lt;;๑), he reads. Below is a selfie of Jaeseop holding a plastic bag, the sky bright blue behind him. 

“Andrew,” Intak says loudly, and Andrew looks up, surprised that his name came from Intak and not Mingeun.

Andrew tugs his headphones off and watches Intak rip a page out of Haksu’s notebook. “Do the demo with this.”

“Me? Why can’t Haksu do it?”

Mingeun snatches the page from Intak’s hand. “I’ll do it if he doesn’t want to.”

“Andrew’s doing it because he’s going to arrange it,” Intak says. Mingeun reluctantly hands the paper over to Andrew. “He’s the one who wants to stay in this room until the song is done.”

“I said that for all of us,” Andrew says.

They’re interrupted by Jaeseop’s arrival. He seems cheerful as he sets down the bags on the little space remaining on Intak’s desk. Tucking his hands into his pockets, he asks, “Is it going well?”

For some reason, the onus is on Andrew to answer. He feels the weight of their gazes: Jaeseop is expectant, Haksu is skeptical, Intak is steady and bored, and Mingeun’s is his usual scowl.

“It’s going very well,” he says.

Haksu gives him a reproachful glance and says, “He’s underselling us. We could finish the song today, as long as Taein-nim approves of it.”

Jaeseop brightens. “Sounds good! I can’t wait to hear it.” He sounds like he genuinely can’t wait to hear their song. 

He leaves just as quickly as he arrived. The door is barely shut behind him when Haksu stands up and announces, “I’m going to church. Mingeun is coming with me.”

“I didn’t agree to that,” Mingeun complains.

“It’s Wednesday,” Andrew says at the same time.

Haksu looks at both of them like they’re stupid. “So? I worked on the song. I did my part. There’s nothing else for me to do.”

“He’s right,” Intak says. He crosses his arms and gives Andrew a look that very obviously says he shouldn’t argue. So Andrew folds without saying anything. 

To his surprise, Mingeun picks himself off the floor. “Thanks for the food, hyung,” he says, grabbing one of the bags on Intak’s desk.

The speed at which people work when they want to leave will never cease to surprise Andrew. He doesn’t think this is hard work as much as Haksu does. He could stay here for days or weeks, immersed in the music, so long as Jaeseop keeps providing him with food.

As Mingeun and Haksu leave, he hears Haksu grumble under his breath about Americans and fast food and forks.

“Chopsticks are from China,” Andrew overhears Mingeun say before the door swings shut.

In the quiet, Intak says, "I'll start working on the b-sides."

This comes as a surprise. "I thought we were releasing an anniversary song, not an anniversary album."

Intak looks like he was caught off guard as well. "I could have sworn Taein-nim said that to both of us."

Andrew is slighted. Why wouldn't he be, when he wasn't given these same guidelines? He's the one who's shaped and guided their sound outside of all the traditional title tracks. Fable can pull off other concepts, because Andrew pushed them in those directions, even if it was only one song per album.

“Do you think Taein thinks of your music differently than mine?" he asks.

Intak takes a minute to think about it. Andrew can practically see the gears turning in his head.

"No," he says, and Andrew wonders why it took him so long to come to that conclusion.

“He must,” Andrew insists. He refuses to let the topic drop. “I didn’t get to write our debut song.”

“I didn’t ‘get to’ write it either. I wrote it because I could write a good song."

“I can write good songs.”

“Yeah. I don’t disagree.”

Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. Intak is smart, but there's always a disconnect between what he thinks and what he says. Andrew has to pry every response out of him, like he's pulling teeth.

Intak methodically unpacks the remaining takeout bag and takes a bite of his carbonara. “This sounds like it's really important to you,” he says with his mouth full. “Can we talk about it later?”

“No. I thought I passed the audition and debuted in Fable to be a songwriter."

"I thought you passed your audition because you speak four languages."

Andrew shrugs, because he did say that, even though it's not quite true. Everyone lies on their resumes. He said that because he thought it would impress Taein, and it did. “Something should have changed by now.”

"You. You’re the one that should change," Intak says as he stabs his pasta with vitriol. 

He has changed. He’s older now, and wiser, as generic and contrived as that sounds, with a better understanding of his place in the world. He isn’t that same person who auditioned so many years ago with an unplaced confidence that he could survive and thrive in the cutthroat music industry. He’s accepted Fable’s middle class, second tier status, and he finds he doesn’t mind as much as he thought he would.

"I have."

Intak takes a long look at him and says, "Not enough."

Then, as if to signal that conversation is over, he puts his head down on his desk. "Record the fucking song, Andrew," he says, voice muffled.

They never write any b-sides.

[ B-SIDE — JUNE 3, 2023 ]

Andrew isn’t one to lose his temper. So he surprises even himself when he stands up and walks out of the room. Jaeseop is still talking. He pauses in the middle of his sentence.

“Where are you going?” His voice is muffled by the door and walls.

“Out,” Andrew answers from the other side of the door. “I’ve heard enough.”

He has heard enough. All Jaeseop had to say was that their album was delayed again. It could have been a text message.

He hikes up all three flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator. At the top, he leans his body weight into opening the door to the rooftop. It creaks open reluctantly, hinges squealing in discordant protest. Then he has to do the same thing to close it.

He takes a seat on one of the two stone benches, overlooking the city around him. There isn’t much to see. The sun is setting, and the glow of the copywriting sign becomes more visible with each passing minute. The other, taller, buildings cast long dark shadows and block out any possibility of Andrew seeing farther than across the street.

He sits there for a minute, thinking and trying to cool down. He’s unfamiliar with anger when it comes from within. Frustration and futility, sure, but anger is a different beast. That’s Mingeun’s forte.

The door protests again, inching open. Andrew stares. Another thirty seconds pass before Mingeun steps outside. Speak of the devil—or think of him—and he shall appear.

Mingeun leaves the door ajar. He takes a silent seat next to Andrew.

“Do you need something?” Andrew asks. He can feel his anger creep into his words.

Mingeun crosses his arms. “I need a reason to talk to you?” he asks. “You seemed upset when you left. Is that enough?”

“I was,” Andrew concedes. Mingeun could still have an ulterior motive. Jaeseop always sends the youngest members to do his bidding, like some villain with his henchmen.

“I didn’t think you’d notice,” he continues.

Mingeun rolls his eyes. “I can fucking see.”

He sounds upset. It shouldn’t be a surprise. He’s always upset about one thing or another. And why wouldn’t he be upset about this?

“I thought we were more important to Taein,” Andrew says, dropping the honorifics on purpose. “More important than a survival show trainee.”

Mingeun shrugs. “He could have something on Taein, like Haksu did.”

He matches Andrew’s use of honorifics. They both know the easiest way to get through to their CEO is to wear him down with astronomical persistence. A bit of bribery and blackmail never hurts either. Andrew can’t imagine what other secrets Taein might be protecting, especially after Haksu’s extravaganza. He thinks they’ve all learned their lessons since then: Taein should break fewer laws, Haksu shouldn’t stake his career on a few secrets, and the rest of them should sleep with one eye open around him regardless.

“Didn’t you watch the show?” Andrew asks. Mingeun watches every kpop survival show he can get his hands on. Where he finds all the time to do that remains a mystery.

“I did,” Mingeun says. “I didn’t care for him. What kid thinks he can cover Taemin in his audition? He only got as far as he did because his parents are famous. There’s nothing he could have done on his own for Taein to take notice of him.”

Andrew lets him go on his tirade. He’s feeling better. Even though he’s now left to face the reality of his delayed album. It should be their album, but he has a hard time thinking of it that way. He puts a part of himself into each and every one of his songs and albums. Granted, he has one album to his name, but he thinks his point stands. And even if his music is never as good as he wants it to be, as he thinks it should be, that shouldn’t stop them from releasing and promoting it. Intak releases, for lack of a better word, shit, on every EP since their debut. Andrew has never been offered that same opportunity.

“You’re not listening to me,” Mingeun says.

Andrew snaps out of it. “I am.” He’s not. “I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Fine.” Mingeun drums the fingers of his right hand against his thigh. “What do you want to talk about?”

This Mingeun makes Andrew uncomfortable. If it weren’t for his restless motions, he’d think it was a different person sitting next to him. He’s never this receptive or attentive or willing to talk.

“I don’t know.” Now Andrew is the one who doesn’t want to talk. The role reversal freaks him out a little. At the same time, he can’t pass up this chance to have a decent conversation with Mingeun.

Then it comes to him. “My stage name. I’m sick of it. I don’t think I ever liked it.”

“Okay,” Mingeun says simply.

Andrew expects more from him. He thought they were going to talk.

“Does it bother you that much? Am I supposed to feel bad for you?”

He should have known not to bring this up with Mingeun. It’s a touchy subject. Mingeun sounds more like himself now.

“It does.” Andrew wants to say more, but Mingeun isn’t done yet.

“I never liked your name either. It’s so presumptuous. Out of all the characters, you picked those two?” He looks disgusted. “That’s the reasoning parents use when they choose names for their children. You did it for yourself.”

Andrew fires back. “My parents never gave me a Korean name and they were never going to give me one. I didn’t have another choice. You should know that.”

They’ve known each other for years. That’s supposed to be common knowledge. How can Mingeun not know?

The smallest remaining rational part of Andrew’s brain knows it’s because Mingeun fills his head with so many other things. He’s got his near-encyclopedic archive of kpop groups and songs and dances. It should be easy to see why personal information would hemorrhage from his brain. Does Mingeun know their birthdays? He doubts it.

Mingeun rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but it didn’t have to be that one.”

What else could it have been? Andrew was never given any examples or suggestions. Just the thinly veiled threat that if he wanted to make it in Korea, he needed a Korean name. Mingeun should understand that.

“You always make everything about yourself. You never ask about me. Mingeun, how was your day? Mingeun, are you having fun on Shooting Stars? Mingeun, why does Taein hate you more than everyone else?”

“Taein doesn’t—” Andrew starts.

“Yes, he does.”

They lapse into silence, because Andrew knows, somewhere deep down, that as much as he thinks Taein dislikes him, Mingeun’s situation is worse. It isn’t a competition, but Mingeun’s always had it worse. He just chose not to see it.

When Andrew thinks Mingeun has cooled down, he says, “Tell me about your name.”

“Oh.” The surprise in his voice is evident from a single syllable. He gets over it quickly. “'Min' is the generational character. You know, the dollimja."

Andrew does not know, but he nods along and pretends like he does. Mingeun looks him in the eye and says, "You don't know."

He doesn't have it in him to argue.

"It means quick and clever," Mingeun continues, tracing the Hanja character on his thigh. Andrew recognizes it in pieces: the character for mother, radical 66. “The ‘geun’ character is the one for diligence.”

He writes this one with his finger too: 勤, speeding through the horizontal lines and finishing with a sloppy rendition of the strength radical. 

“It’s nice,” Andrew says, because it really is a nice name.

“Better than yours,” Mingeun says in a way that’s clearly meant to provoke. Andrew doesn’t rise to the bait. 

“Doesn’t seem like a high bar,” he says, and when Mingeun laughs at that, he feels like he’s crossed some impassable reach and brought the two of them a small step closer.

In the days that follow, Andrew drops his stage name informally. Most of the group calls him Andrew anyway. There's no special announcement. Daewoong calls him Yejun three times and Andrew doesn't respond three times, and after that, he gets the point too. Taein asks him about it, and Andrew spins a tale of authenticity and identity his boss clearly doesn’t give a shit about. But Taein doesn’t push further, and he’s left feeling more like himself than he has in years.

#╰ to be written in ink is to be immortal — [ writing. ] #ficnetfairy #fictional idol oc #fictional idol community #idolverse #idol oc #kpop oc

[vivi-scera]

Umm please talk about johndean. You seem insane enough no offense

none taken!! if the shoe fits etc. and lmfao i'm embarrassingly insane about a show that i'm only about 20% into watching. not watching past season 5 of course <3 blame @amonsternamed for infecting me, i'm just about to rehash/repeat conversations we've had before. but that probably doesn't make me totally unqualified— many such pairings/dynamics i'm well versed in that give me the background (see batman & robin... which i can talk about as well if you or someone else asks, totally not a suggestion haha 😐).

hmm johndean... probably should preface this by saying i'm way more into samdean since i think the fruition (physically or not) of an incestuous relationship (more incestuous than is already implied in the canon anyway) between them would make more narrative/thematic sense. but there's a lot to be said about the inherent eroticism in johndean's dynamic. you could say that they have a sergeant/soldier or god/follower dynamic in the canon which negates any sort of sexual charge. but the fact that they're father and son makes it erotic, imo. if there is a relation that gives precedence to all other relations/dynamics between the two then that very relation could be seen as erotic because it defines them and gives them their closeness. the physicality of their father-son relationship precedes even a quality that is divine.

it's this unjust exploitation of a "natural" power dynamic. corruption (whether physically or metaphorically of the blood, of the family, etc.) is, from my understanding, a HUGE theme in supernatural. they wouldn't have had the relationship that they had— dean wouldn't have had the opportunity of being corrupted— without them being father and son. whether john actually has/deserves the power to corrupt in the larger narrative could be argued, but that's another topic. he is, after all, a born-again hunter not one by blood like mary is. but the fact that his ordinary human blood that flows through dean has the ability to corrupt. the fact that the father twists and takes advantage of the very thing between him and his son that is supposed to protect the latter. it's horrific but un/fortunately there is eroticism to be found in the horrific.

even if john is the absent father-god he has enough of a physical presence to corrupt. it's why dean is so devoted, i think. his daddy is just close enough to touch! if he's good enough maybe he finally can. but would he still be "good" if he's able to get to that point? what would it say about him if he's able to come close to the very thing that corrupts him? when it comes to hunting and/or loving john, is dean doing what he needs in order to survive? or is he doing what he wants? and what does that say about him? there's such an obfuscation— where i'm at in the story at least— between dean's needs and wants, where his needs/wants transcend himself. his motivations center the person that he loves/feels a duty towards, regardless of what his own personal feelings on the matter are. if he even knows them that is. maybe he feels more comfortable in the serving, finding indulgence the same as betrayal of duty. in fact, this is part of what makes johndean sexy. what is dean betraying if he indulges in an incestuous relationship? is he really betraying his father if he does what his father wants? or is the real sin fulfilling his own desires and not the actual incest? this could just as easily be applied to samdean if we shift the target of his motivations. but even then... john was the one who gave dean responsibility over sam. none of this is to say john is all evil/corrupt. he loves his sons, of course he does, you cannot deny that statement without denying the canon itself. but how that love is displayed/professed is often conflated with violence. would any of them know how to approach love without violence or vice-versa?

also there's some basis in how the canon is set-up that lends itself to an erotic interpretation. he literally made him a mother!! it is in their profession/blood as hunters to confront that which is supernatural— unknowable, horrific and without presence— which is their curse to bear. so this is all to say that i don't exactly want johndean to fuck (such an event would probably conflate john's role as the absent, untouchable, unknowable, etc. in the canon story actually), i just think their relationship can be examined erotically, having both/neither positive or negative connotations since this is fiction yknow. and even if i did want them to actually fuck so what!! sorry this got so long about a pairing i don't even know that much about sdkjfhslf imagine what i could say about shit i actually have authority over.

#supernatural #johndean #wincest #deanjohn #feel free anyone to chime in #ik my wife is going to add to the other side of the validity debate and she will be equally correct if not more #since she's actually watched the whole show and has a ph.d on this #ignore what time i'm posting this everyone <3 i have a test in a few hours you know how it is #vivi.asks

[demadogs]

Predictions on Will still being connected to Vecna will play out next season?

OOOOO!! i have a big prediction related to this that ive talked about before but i dont think enough people have appreciated how good it is. its not entirely how will is affected but how what happens to will will affect other characters.

so i dont think will is gonna be vecna’d the way max was. wills connected to him in a way no one else is so its gotta be bigger than last season. i think they might go back to the s2 super spy concept and have will be able to see or feel in some way what vecnas plan is. then vecna might realize what hes doing and something more similar to what happened to max will happen to him where he will be able to actually feel like hes in the same room as vecna and have a conversation with him.

i think vecna will threaten will here and say that he has to watch out and he will torture him when he least expects it and in ways that he wont see coming (obviously said no more spooky wording than that).

and THAT i think is what will lead to MIKE getting vecna’d. i think vecna’s method of torturing will is to torture mike.

mike has to be vecna’d. it just makes too much sense for it not to happen. max said it happens to people who have something thats haunting them. mike has insane internalized homophobia, way more than will i would argue, and i think he has so much guilt from the fact that hes still dating el even though he knows he does not and cannot actually love her romantically (theyd still be dating when hes vecna’d i am NOT a mlvn breaks up in the first episode truther).

i think the whole party and especially jonathan and joyce will be so concerned about will that no one will pay attention to the signs mike is showing. everyone will think wills at the most risk of danger so he’ll never be left alone, he’ll always be monitored and made sure by everyone that he’s safe but mike will be the one they need to look out for.

mike will be vecna’d the same way max was. nobody saw it coming they just suddenly realized mike wasnt responding and his eyes were all wrong. they all start to freak out but especially will. nancy is in denial. she says to will “no no why would it be mike youre the one we needed to look out for he said he was gonna torture you” and wills heart sinks and he realizes “i think this is how hes doing it”.

i wont go into detail on mikes vecna’d shebang here bc thats the answer to a different question but if anyone asks id be so down to talk more about that. i do have a post about mike but its his entire s5 arc and its embarrassingly long so if you just want me to talk about the vecna part i got you.

but yeah i think wills connection to vecna will directly cause MIKES encounter with vecna.

#sorry to make this about byler but i just have way more solid of a prediction for mikes arc than wills #i havent reread this so idk if there are any typos #byler #prediction #eden answers

[verifiedaccount]

Watched Everything Everywhere All At Once. Found the first half pretty interminable, a lot of it sounds good on paper, the Daniels enjoy many of the same things as me but the sensibility, jokes, and execution were Not For Me. Second half was a definite improvement, they’re better at being earnest than funny, the earnest stuff was just as corny and well worn as the other stuff but easier to go along with for me. That the message is cliche and kind of trite means it’s operating at the philosophical level suited to most movies. You know, it used to be that if an actor or director had read a book, everyone would be surprised and impressed and consider them an intellectual; that was, like, Ethan Hawke’s entire deal, for example, or somebody like Richard Brooks. It was assumed that people who make movies would know a lot about making movies and the industry but be kind of dumb about everything else. Film people should stop trying to be smart and audiences should not expect them to be. Bumper sticker philosophy is the level suited to the vast majority of people who work on films, especially given the relative time limit and the fact that even films trying to convey ideas are generally also meant to work as narratives and have to devote time and attention to that aspect as well. The movie being so insistent on foregrounding the philosophical elements is sometimes a problem (the Jobu stuff and everything bagel were really not doing anything for me) but some of it is saved by how it actually plays as a movie. I was frustrated by how conventional it is in many ways, though. It often feels like an early Charlie Kaufman script revised by people who actually listen to screenwriting books and coaches, with the stakes and chosen one stuff and the way things neatly wrap together and resolve, and go through standard emotional beats and relationships even if the details of the scenes are strange (compare it to the relationships and character motivations and decisions in something like Being John Malkovich and the standard nature of EEAAO’s  story about family and parent-child relationships is thrown into relief). Of course, it’s this relatability and universality underneath the wacky trappings that has made the movie a success, and plenty of it worked on me. Still, I couldn’t get over the impression that what I was really watching, despite the homages to stuff Wong Kar Wai, was an adaptation of that old popular on tumblr back in the day webcomic a softer world with the mix of sometimes embarrassingly earnest, simple sentiments and occasional “random” lightly edgy humor that rarely worked well:

If it wins the Oscars that’s fine, people’ll remember it winning, whether it’s with satisfaction or embarrassment, and what should the Oscars be other than memorable?

[klaineownsmysoul]

No clue who has taken over Ds ig but am loving the promo finally... Finally good use of his stories.. i just hope it just sticks to promoting him only.. I'm also loving his wardrobe for cafe Carlyle he totally rocks the tank and jacket look .. ans of course the song.. only D can croon a Christmas song and sound awesome.. goodness gracious he's talented.. his voice is the very definition of velvet honey ❤️

I love getting positive asks! :)

I feel like this is the set of shows and the tour he should have done last year when the album was released and if he had, things might not have ended so embarrassingly. Smaller more intimate venues, less venues overall, and more promo of the actual shows themselves - what a novel idea. None of this is a new concept but shows just how badly he's managed.

He looks like he's having the time of his life. He's a born showman and entertainer and you can see the way performing lights him up like nothing else. He feeds off of a live audience like all good performers do. I love his simple but fabulous wardrobe: that shiny red blazer is divine and everything else has been just perfect. I've always said and will continue to say: when things are just D, when its just him and his music and nothing else - he's like a different person. When he doesn't have to worry about selling a story or projecting an image and can just be himself - that is the guy I've loved for 10 plus years and the reason I stay. And that's the way things related to his career should always be. Without the circus, without the hangers on, without constantly having to prop others up via his work. Just him and his music. Its a really good album and he should be proud of it and old-timey classic sounding Xmas songs are totally in his wheelhouse. I don't know what it is about him, but I've always found his voice soothing, whether its his glee covers or his own material. There is just something about him and his voice that captured me in a way few other artists have. Its why I get so annoyed when that talent gets buried underneath so much bullshit. I'm glad that at least so far, that has been set aside to concentrate on him.

The audience reactions that I've seen indicate that people are having as good a time at these shows as he is and I'm so glad. He deserves to have his work appreciated and its always nice to get a reminder of his enormous talent and charisma and see him shine.

#anonymous

[transboysokka]

okay let’s dive into this religious trauma lol it’s Brand New and I haven’t articulated it before and would love any advice or guidance bc I can’t afford therapy rn lololol

idk

Ok I grew up in a SUPER evangelical area like kids would stay home from school on Halloween and nobody was allowed to read Harry Potter… that kind of place. All the businesses would close on Sundays, you get it.

My dad actually wasn’t religious until I was 7 years old and he was Born Again and got EMBARRASSINGLY into it

I went to church every Sunday and like a Bible club every Wednesday where we no joke just memorized Bible verses and practiced proselytizing

My parents became missionaries and I spent a lot of my childhood practicing Religious Imperialism in Guatemala

I knew from a young age it was Wrong to be gay (trans wasn’t even in my vocab)

My family was REALLY in the Spiritual stuff which I still believe in because I saw these things happen but am trying to wrap my head around what the actual context might have been: possessions, real life miracles, stuff involving spirits and demons

Two important things happened when I was 14 which were a HUGE basis for the rest of my life:

1. I heard the word “transgender” for the first time. I looked it up and IMMEDIATELY knew that was me but had a HUGE freak out because I thought I would go to hell and I couldn’t lose my family so I immediately decided to repress it which I successfully did for another 6-7 years

2. I had a Religious Breakdown and was like “why am I doing all this bullshit do I even believe in it??” and then I swear to god (hehe god) I suddenly felt the Holy Spirit inside me. Like I’ve felt it since and I can’t describe it but it’s a serious light and presence inside me and I still honestly don’t know what else could explain the feeling

Anyway are these two things related who knowssss

Anyway I kept it up, walking the walk, talking the talk, pushing myself WAY more into femininity

In the first year of college I started IDing as non-binary just to give my still-repressed inner boy SOME relief

By this point I was SO over the proselytizing imperialistic aspects of Christianity but was still 100% in it for the spiritual elements

That summer I started working at a Christian summer camp full time for $100 a week (yeah, and they pressured us to donate some of that back to the camp) and it became my entire fucking personality I ate, slept, and breathed Jesus

I kept working there a few more years. I remember when the Pulse nightclub shooting happened my boss asked me to lead a prayer and I first of all had no idea why I was the one they asked lol but I also felt NOTHING about what had happened. (This memory terrifies me to this day)

At no time during any of this, did anyone tell me it was bad to be gay or trans. I just… had absorbed it all so much from my childhood that I kept pushing the narrative inside myself

A few years passed, I kept going to church and Bible studies, but I started to clear from some of that culty fog. Also my family was a lot less overtly religious at this point? My dad became a total asshole (that’s another post lol) and that kind of Killed the Jesus Mood there

I finally admitted I was trans and dug up those repressed feelings and WOW did I feel sick for what I’d done to myself for years when my identity was RIGHT FUCKING THERE

anyway I came out socially pretty quickly but was still kind of hush hush about it around home but also ASSUMED my family knew at this point, like they have eyes right?? (I was living back with my mom for Family Reasons and was sharing a room with my little sister omg ugh)

I kept going to church and listening to my Christian Music that I swore made me feel the Holy Spirit through all of this

People would give me Looks all the time and I probably was imagining like half of them at least but it still wasn’t a great vibe

I ended up moving to China and was able to find a Secret Illegal evangelical church to go to (THAT’S an entire other post) and I got really involved in the community there and at one point one of the church leaders was praying for me and asked god to like cure me of the confusion in my head and come back to my true identity or some bullshit??? that was so fucking jarring to me I never went back

I’ve started feeling more strongly about my weird feelings since then (that was like 5 years ago?) and haven’t gone to church since then but still tried to keep up the more spiritual aspects like prayer and reading the Bible. I’d go to church when I visited my family and would be fine talking to my mom about more spiritual stuff like prayer and following the Holy Spirit, etc.

My enthusiasm has been fading over time but I kept hanging on to “well I feel the Holy Spirit so this all must be real even though modern Christianity is so perverted from the true tradition but I still love Jesus so I’ll keep following him on my own even though churches suck”

And now pretty recently I’ve been like “okay actually no there are a lot of fucked up people who call themselves Christians and are just evil. I’ve been so hurt by Christianity throughout my life to the point that I denied my OWN identity for years without even being told to. I’ve definitely got some trauma to unpack”

And NOW super recently I have like palpably negative emotional reactions when I see anyone talking about Christianity or my mom mentions she’s gonna be praying for me or something. Like it seems like whatever trauma I have is getting worse??

I’d love to Get Over It…

ALSO if I ever told my mom how I’d feel she’d be so fucking disappointed in me bc she’s been drinking that kool aid her whole life and I CANNOT have my mom disappointed in me lol even though I’m pretty sure my siblings have similar feelings to me about religion

#if u read all that… wow good job #tian talks

[slowbrunette-archived]

You can't be a stan of Billy and Nancy at the same time! lol are you crazy or what? you're supporting classism, ableism, homphobia and white feminism by deffending Nancy.

shit, not this again 😂🤦🏻‍♀️..

i can because is fiction and i chose to be an apologist for both in equal ways if i fucking please. also, embarrassingly funny of you to assume nancy is all those things when you are basing all your opinions on her in your own bias, rather than using the empathy you'd surely lay on your fave male characters like steve, jonathan or eddie for example.

steve has a right to have a shred of nuance, humanity and the 'poor innocent little nice guy' treatment just because he said sorry to every person he hurt with his actions and has a gay best friend. that's apparently enough to pat him in the back.

however, god forbid a teenage girl for calling her boyfriend an idiot while helping him with school in spite of said boyfriend clearly taking it as a joke, struggling with her best friend's death that everybody, yes including steve, failed to listen to her about, getting drunk in the middle of her suvivor's guilt trauma, mixed emotions about two guys, using bad coping skills that affected her communication towards both and poorly misshandling a break-up, that um, she was so in her right to do after no longer taking how steve was not even trying to understand the grief she she was processing and him still wanting them to live in their own shallow bubble, act like stupid teenagers and pretend everything's perfect like nothing happened.

if i had a boyfriend who allowed his idiotic friends to degrade me and try hard to errase my grief over serious shit, hell i'd call him bullshit too sober or not! i don't care if that makes me a bitch.

my bad for thinking steve calling jonathan with the f word, using vile insults against him, his mother and missing brother. him allowing tommy and carol to make 'nancy the sl*t wheeler' spray paint bully antic happen, him being creepy at nancy on insisting to breed her in S4 knowing she's with jonathan, apparently all that are all tolerable since he apologized, wohoo nice guy uwu steve innocent!!!

god forbid nancy for asking barb to go with her at steve's party since she didn't want to be left alone with him and his other two best friends, that made it clear from day one, that hated her so bad. god forbid nancy for trying different things or social groups her age when the chance was given. don't even try to come for me saying i'm against barb not agreeing with her choices, as much as i also relate to her here, barb's attitude towards nance could also be critical because she seems very bitter that her best friend is hanging around with popular kids while she couldn't fit. that, along with her being swallowed by the monster wasn't nancy's fault either.

god forbid nancy not understanding jonathan's struggles and using the oliver twist as a sarcasm reference in S3 while he, aka the same exact creepy ass fucker who took pictures of her naked without her conscent in S1, neither understands her when she got all kinds of sexist and degrading harassment from older co workers. no, she must he the only wrong one and her situation must be downplayed at all cost because its her, she's not poor and because she hasn't gone through any consequences, which by the way, y'all are getting weirder everyday on wanting her to go through hell and be punished as if she was an adult, a sociopath or k*ren. y'all are getting fucking weirder each day by diagnosing her as a narcissist, an abuser, an ableist and a republican that hates gays just because her parents are reaganites.

it all must be her fault or else i support the duffers making her a girlboss who can't make mistakes yada yada andallthatjazzshit, i MUST see her as an abuser or else i support real life toxic women.

god forbid nancy for existing on the show and messing up i guess 🙄, regardless that the duffers don't know how to write her either, for making mistakes when said male characters have done much and lower worse stuff, but they get a pat in the back bc y'all buy their so called redemption cheap ass atempts, y'all are about talking shit about the duffers for how they've treated your faves and at the same time y'all cherry pick what is convenient to you lmfao

you morons keep bitching every day about antis when y'all also participate in their agenda by trying this hard to dictate others who to stan or how to stan them, class act!, bravo! 🤡🤡🤡

do yourself a solid, if you're on billy tumblr and you're gonna loathe nancy basing your takes on your own judgement go ahead, but don't go around with this hollier-than-thou god complex on fans from the same niche that chose to stan or at least give her some empathy.

here are some facts to make you much more pressed:

S1, S2 and S4 canon steve was bullshit

nancy didn't kill barb

nancy did nothing wrong S1 and S2

hating on stancy, jancy, ronance, eddancy, wheelgrove just because of her does not make you edgy or interesting.

suck some ass, fuck off and choke. go take your air quality of critical thinking somewhere else.

#nancy wheeler antis dni #billy hargrove antis dni #ask #cheri answers #anonynous #billy hargrove antis DO NOT REBLOG/INTERACT #nancy wheeler deserves better #anti steve harrington

[naomana]

A, N, and Z for the fandom meme?

First of all, sorry this took me embarrassingly long to respond to, life busy, life crazy 🙈

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

It's always Vito/Joe, it will always be Vito/Joe but I'm lowkey obsessed with Joe/Henry at the moment 😩🙌

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

More funny moments of the three idiots. 2k you can't give us small 5 second montage of them being happy and then drag them through hell, we gotta fix that. Give me more every day stuff, easy going life, Henry slipping on ice or something

More Henry/Joe as well, doesn't even have to be in romantic way, just those two interacting makes me happy

More Pepe.. I love that man and he deserves some kind of attention.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

Can't stress enough about the fact Vito and Pepe were pretty close in prison, not on the same level as Joe and Vito, but definitely close. I think it comes from the fact they had a lot in common, I still believe to the core of my being that Pepe had abusive alcoholic father just like Vito did, and that Frank took him in when nobody else would.. So he had this weird feeling of connection to Vito, and fact that he was in prison because he did work for Luca, who tried to screw him over 5k bc Vito ha dno idea how things worked.

The fact they ran into each other in deleted scene in ch 11 outside Leo's place and they talk about prison and their miss for the food (which was Leo's) and how Pepe visits Leo djsjsns

I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH ABOUT THIS MAN DNSSJS

(I know Ren can't either zbshshdha)

#Ask #Ask game

[ellieauthor]

15 Questions | 15 People

Rules: Answer these 15 Questions, then Tag 15 People

tagged by the wonderful @eggbagelsjr !!

have never participated in a Tumblr Thing, I'm sure someone will let me know if I'm doing it wrong lmao

Are you named after anyone? no bUT I was going to have a different middle name until my mother realized that (government first name + intended middle name) was also the brand of maternity underwear the hospital used so she panic changed it while in labor. which is not the question asked, but is a story I don't get to tell very often so

When was the last time you cried?  I cry about everything bc any strong emotion (sadness! happiness! anger! hatred! frustration! fear! severe boredom! overstimulation! etc etc) triggers a teary reaction. and (somehow) even more embarrassingly, the answer is this morning, while writing a gift fic for a Valentine's day fest.

Do you have kids? hard no, hard never. or, well. hard probably never, anyways.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? less so than I used to I feel like????? but still not....no

What’s the first thing you notice about people? how they....interact with other people?? or make people feel?? like if someone is really inclusive in a group setting, or attentive, or going out of their way to make someone else feel uncomfortable, thats always how I remember people I meet

What’s your eye colour? hazel or green or something

Scary movies or happy ending? no scary movies bc I don't love gore visuals or jump scares but I will read anything dark or happy or angsty pending mood!

Any special talents? just uhhhhhh the attempt at writing thing

Where were you born? London, whilst my parents did a couple years of Living Abroad

What are your hobbies? will try anything once, will probably not ever finish it. but that first like 42% of learning any new skill is fucking thrilling

Do you have any pets? one dog, I love her endlessly. I tell her every morning that the day she dies my life is over. it's a v healthy dynamic.

What sports do you play/have you played? ?oh god. lacrosse! field hockey! soccer! softball! distance running! plus dance stuff at a v young age and also lots and lots and lots of horse stuff. only stuck with dressage through college tho, everything else petered out sometime in highschool

How tall are you? 5'4 apparently, after living 30 years believing myself to be 5'2 on a Tall Day

Favourite subject at school? English in hs, rhetoric and logic classes in undergrad, organizational behavior in grad school

Dream job? do not dream of labor etc etc

I don't think I know 15 people on here. I don't even think I know 15 people in...general...?

I think @rattlebag and @katsiperennial Tumblr on occasion?? and also likely lots of people I've forgotten bc I'm generally bad at memory related things. anyone who wants in please feel free!!!!!!

[cosmoboba]

Ladies and gentlemen

my official essay on why I love Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII Because I'm fucking insane over him. You cannot stop me

The best way I can begin this off is with how Cloud is basically someone, imo, that can be easily relatable. A tough douchebag with an awkward and soft interior. A guy who once looked up to someone and wanting to be like him someday(yes I'm talking about Sephiroth). A kid who's often been alienated from other kids only because he was "different." I, myself specifically, find these elements of him very relatable. Being that I've been treated differently due to races and language as a kid, looks up to others wishing to be like them, and is someone incredibly sensitive but is expected to be stronger. Aside from my bitchass since this ain't about me- I wouldn't say that him being easily relatable is the only thing that would make him lovable. Cloud somehow always finds the strength to keep going, doesn't matter where that fire comes from, from his past, his friends, himself maybe, it's always there, yeah SOLDIERs are buff n all but not as buff as Cloud's will I swear. Yes, he has wanted to give up before, if I remember from AC he wanted to die from geostigma, yes, he's lost so much to that one winged fuck it seems like it's the end for him that he'd collapse, but nope, the man's always on his feet and gonna kick your ass whether it's now or later, I mean fuck he's been fighting the same villain since he was 16. In my eyes there's a lot of emotion that goes into how much he's lost and it's fucking perfect to me that it makes me want to go blind from crying holy shit. He lost his home, his closest friends Zack and Aerith(or lover, cuz, yk, Aerith is a romantic choice for the player. Same goes for Tifa as well), and that's just enough for me to have chronic depression bc of how much it means to him. I, really, really, really love Cloud. He's such a comfort and though he's not perfect, m'man got flaws, but you know what? Those too are perfect as fuck to me. I love his awkwardness, his shyness, his dorkiness you name it. Yes, being a hard asshole is not a great role model to be, but you don't have to be political icon just to give a life changing advice.

"Kid, if you wanna be champion, you just gotta keep working at it. Find something you enjoy and stick with it. Put your heart and soul into getting better. It's as simple as that"

*Dreamy sigh* In conclusion, loving him is an understatement for me. But then again, idk how else to explain it, I'm just so happy that this pixelated chocobo on hd exists, it's enough to make me feel better whenever I'm stressed or sad, and honestly, it's been helping lately, a lot. What once started out as some hot dude in smash bros really turned into a huge comfort, and, admittedly I embarrassingly have a fictional crush on this man, yes I'm insane.

Happy Birthday Cloud Strife 💕

#✰Cosmo Art #final fantasy vii #ff7 #Cloud Strife #Cloud ff7 #Happy birthday big chad ily sm #I hope you have no legos stepped on king #plz call me too sir

[vespertineart]

Not an Ask Albedo but its so cool that there's teenagers watching and loving Ben10 NOW, because to me Ben 10 fans now are either oldies in their 20s who've been watching it since 2006 or 10 year olds who loved the reboot. Also amazing that you crush and fangirl over Ben, as me and friends in the 2010s self-projected onto Ben instead, even now I watch OS and Omniverse and think 'he's just like me fr'. I never thought of him as 'attractive', so I'd love to hear what you find attractive about him!

OOOOOH THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY IDK WHY!!!

oh yes, actually I've always loved the show since I was 6 (although begrudgingly at the time cause my brother's would tease me about it lol, as you probably read I was deeply affected by gender norms back then). actually I didn't know that there were so few teens nowadays that love hin haha, considering the entire franchise started in 2006, my birth year i thought that all that are left are the teens who connect with their childhood. but that guess it makes sense since any teen would be too young then to really comprehend the show all that well.

and yes, like you, i connect emotionally with Ben. He's just as emotionally driven as me, way too much for his own good. I get attached very easily, just like him, but also find it hard to commit to people when I have so many things on my mind/hands. (reffering to Julie)

but that, kinda embarrassingly lead to me having a crush on him lol ^^' ::

1- I just find his relatableness very endearing, especially for me who has his same qualities that I've been told are a burden. I love how romanticized (though in a good way) his faults are, because as the show progresses, he learns, and although stubborn and slow, he still learns. It's just a drive of affection that makes you feel proud of yourself, and seeing Ben have these qualities loved by everyone around him made me want to be like him.

2- I also love how confident af he is. I get that sometimes he's very cocky and arrogant, but then again, how else would you find the courage to win in a fatal fight? you need that confidence boost, or just the right about of positivity that'll get you to actually become determined when you're one step closer to your goal.

3- his freedom of will. actually, although silly, i always envied how easily he could manage anything he put his mind to. even if it ends up I him getting in trouble, captured or even imprisoned, I always love how open-minded he is.

4- I have this thing about me where I watch something just for the plot and never appreciate the little details. so one day I was on pinterest reliving and childhood and finding some pics of show and just went "wait the artsyle is so frikkin adorable, how did i never pay attention to that" and that applies to ALL the versions of the show. And since I'm a loser I also developed a crush on him :)) he's very pretty if you look at him well enough. it's a standard anyways: that cartoon characters should be attractive ideally, so it was bound to happen haha. but yeah, that's everything I love about Ben. overall his personality is what really captured my heart. his clumsiness, idiocy, himbo behavior always get ne screaming!!

#ben 10 alien force #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 #b10 #ben 10 fandom #benjamin kirby tennyson #poppie speaks #thank for the ask! #ask box #ask albedo tuesdays