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#you should read the iliad.
marisatomay · 2 years
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i’m so sick of writers who proudly proclaim that they don’t read and directors and actors and other filmmakers who smugly say that they rarely watch movies or any artist who acts like an audience is stupid for connecting with their work like what the fuck is wrong with you that you hold such contempt such derision for the art that you have chosen to make the art that so many people dream of the opportunity to make the art that brings meaning and connection to people’s lives it’s unbelievably disrespectful to both your audience and the art-form and if you can’t muster basic respect for either your art-form or your audience then kindly fuck off and do something else
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nysus-temple · 1 year
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[Helen/Paris] and [Odysseus/Calypso(and/or)Circe] similarities
I shouldn't have actually written this down? Probably. Am I still gonna do it anyways? Yeah. 8 years in the Trojan Cycle thingy and people are still discussing the interactions between this characters, damn, I thought it was clear enough.
Anyways. Onto the similarities and why I keep thinking until this day that both Helen and Odysseus were held captives. It's a short essay, since i'm just dumping my thoughts and other people's thoughts after seeing the ammount of bullshit that goes around here.
Were you kidnapped or seduced?
Agh, jeez.
So can we, you know, start from the part that it's Aphrodite the one who does literally everything? DO NOT demonize Aphrodite, this IS NOT what i'm telling you to do.
She had to do her part of the deal, that's why she gave Helen to Paris as a prize for choosing her. She's a goddess, we know how this works.
The thing is... Okay, Aphrodite forced everything since she promised it to Paris, but was Helen okay with this?
*checks notes* so Gorgias, a sophist philosopher (oh that explains why people never talk about him) said "but if Helen was raped by violence and illegally assaulted and unjustly insulted, it is clear that the raper, as the insulter, did the wronging, and the raped, as the insulted, did the suffering." ... Well, that's interesting.
I mean sure, we can EVEN still think that somehow she was seduced or whatever, but then in the Iliad, when Aphrodite tells her to go and comfort Paris, she refuses and fights with her. Helen literally fought with a goddess, explaining that she did not want to go with Paris.
But Aphrodite is a goddess, you cannot question the will of the gods, they're GODS for a reason. So she goes in the end, with fear.
(We even have... Whatever the hell Euripides' tragedies where. Since according to him, Helen was never in Troy, instead it was an ilussion made by Aphrodite, the real Helen was in Egypt. psjdksjfkd what. I kind of like it tbh, it's fun. But since Helen says in the Iliad that she's been 20 years in Troy already, that version just doesn't feel right. ANYWAYS-)
... Wait, 20 years? Why does that sound familiar? Ah, right, the other member of this essay. Odysseus.
Helen was kept against her will in Troy for 20 years, just like Odysseus was away from Ithaka for 20 years. Dude !!
I'll go with Calypso first since people defend her less than Circe (kind of) SO, you know the deal with translators acting as anything except translations? I believe that might have been the problem, at least in English, I don't recall an Spanish translation saying that he stayed with her for 7 years because he wanted too, lmao.
I myself haven't reach that far in my degree to translate the Odyssey nor the Iliad, but I still have copies of them in the original Greek. So you see, there's some small things that I have enough level to understand and translate by myself and realize how blind we all are.
Did he want to?
You know the whole deal with people not giving words from other languages the proper definition? In this passage of the Odyssey, the word used when saying that Odysseus "slept" with Calypso was anágke (ἀνάγκῃ). Which means, HEAR ME OUT, force, it means FORCE. And this next thing is more me being risky because as I said, I'm not that far in terms of translation levels, but in the text, it's in dative, the dative is used, in a simple definition, for denote the person or object affected.
He stayed with Calypso BY FORCE !! Shock. Wow. And I mean, he literally cries everyday because his only way to cope with the fact that he's trapped is by thinking about Penelope and Ithaka while crying looking at the sea. How can you see him staying willingly being like that? And the "he just left because he got tired of her" ... So you're saying that (trying to have the most mysognistic way of thinking ever) he got tired of an inmortal gorgeous nymph who would not age? You're telling me he preferred to leave, even if it was risky, than staying in an island that was considered a paradise? Yeah, no, sorry, not buying it. HIS ASS DID NOT WANT TO BE THERE, just like how Helen did not want to be in Troy. Move on. And now and quickly because the more I talk about this topic the more tired I grow out of Circe...
Odysseus just... Never says that he wants to? That he's fine with it? He literally just saw a sorceress trap his men and planning on killing them, so what was he gonna do against that? Hermes to the rescue... More or less ! He pretty much just told him to obey what he was told to, and that if he wanted to save his men from Circe, he had to do what she asked him too, after making her swear she wasn't gonna hurt them. So what gives, you're told BY THE GODS that you have to stay there for a little while if you want to keep your men safe and convince Circe of showing you your way out of the island.
Remember? Helen did what Aphrodite told her to because you can't question the will of the gods, same goes with Odysseus and Hermes. You do what they tell you to do because they're gods... And, I mean, Circe is Helios' daughter. Do you really think you could hurt the daughter of the Sun and move away with it? No. Just look at what happened with the cows !
And now, a nice similarity to end this.
In the Odyssey, it is clearly stated that Menelaus and Helen are FINE. They still love and care for eachother, they're still husband and wife. If you truly believe Menelaus didn't believe Helen... Then read the Odyssey?
20 years appart they were, following what Helen said in the Iliad, just how Penelope and Odysseus were 20 years appart and they still loved eachother and recognized their tricks despite the time.
Both Helen and Odysseus were trapped by people who had power over them, they couldn't do anything to be freed from them unless the will of the gods stated otherwise.
So, if after this you keep believing that Helen didn't love Menelaus anymore and that she's the culprit of the Trojan War; and that Odysseus didn't care for Penelope at all and he stayed with Circe and Calypso because he wanted too... Maybe you should start wearing glasses, since apparently you can't read well?
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siena-sevenwits · 10 months
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:-)
#I've spent the past week organizing in the play's wake - sorting and laundering huge numbers of costumes#some to return to those they belong to and some to come home to my costume storage room which had become chaotic over the last few#months#so a complete spring cleaning for the storage room became part of my task list too. Now the play's been over for a week#and the emails are starting to come in from admin about next year. As some of you know I did a lot of discernment this semester#about what next year should look like and I have decided a mix of continuity is best. I won't be working for my 'main' schoolboard anymore#but I will continue to teach and direct for the one program in the city (the one I did the play for) and possibly with a new home school#enrichment program that may go ahead this year if there are sufficient numbers. Otherwise I am going to spend a semester#tutoring and running workshops f I can get it off the ground. Then we'll see.#Anyway - admin wants me to get new syllabi in to them within a month's time so my thoughts are all in that direction!#I get to teach 19th/20th century Canadian history to the middle schoolers and Late Antique/Medieval Church History to the high schoolers!#Also direct another play and do a humanities course centred around an epic in the spring (the last couple of years we've done Iliad and#Odyssey - they want Aeneid this year but I am trying to talk them into another option. The Aeneid is valuable but I am not sure it's the#time or place with this group of students. The result of all this is that I am spending far too much time doing Internet research for ideas#and then taking breaks on tumblr - which isn't good for my eyes or mental health. What with the play and end of term#I fear I've been out of the reading habit. I'm still hyperfixating on the Book of Romans so there's that at least#but I lost the novel I was in the middle of and am not feeling so motivating with out books. It's a proper reading slump! I need a kickstar#of sorts. Feel free to yell at me that I should pick up a book!
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thestuffedalligator · 2 years
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My goodness, my glass house is beautiful today. What a lovely day to throw some rocks.
On an unrelated note, I don’t think that having a surface or fandom level interest in mythology is bad.
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your-local-granny · 4 months
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winter break is a dangerous time because ill spend the entire semester going "if only i had a few days off then i could get glasses and see a hemotologist and an ENT and maybe even the dentist and get a credit card and—" and then winter break hits and instead im gaslighting myself into thinking i should read multiple translations of beowulf so i can compare the translations and use it to support an essay on tolkien that i outlined FOUR YEARS AGO AND NEVER WROTE
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marbleheavy · 1 year
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hate hate hate that people see references to achilles and patroclus and think of tsoa not the iliad
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mandalhoerian · 1 year
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moth to a flame | leon kennedy x reader
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pairing: leon kennedy x f!reader
summary: Break-ups are never easy. Thankfully, you've been preparing for yours for a long time. Leon doesn't let this revelation go for reasons you cannot fathom when he's the one who wants to leave.
word count: 9K
warnings: angst, smut, thigh riding, p in v, kinda body worship, switch leon, he subs for like a moment and goes this better not awaken anything in me
notes: i winged this please don't judge me. also, "plot"-wise, this is an extension of my leon love language post. header template can be found here. enjoy the filth
🌀 read on ao3!
📍 continue to the BAD ENDING!
📍 continue to the GOOD ENDING!
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In hindsight, you’ve seen this coming. Your face barely moves at your on and off situationship of two years forcing out, “I think we should break this off.” 
So faint and unsure it’s barely above a whisper.  
He looks so uncomfortable hunching over, forearms resting on the countertop, breakfast untouched, as if trying to make himself smaller than you, it’s absurd considering the nerves of steel you envy him for, and sure, he’s adorably awkward sometimes for a man of his looks, but not like this. Never vulnerable like this.
The kitchen is gloomy despite the bright winter sun seeping through the windows, almost suffocating because of his uncharacteristically transparent malaise. Leon isn’t one to openly squirm, and in turn, it’s making you all the more nervous — nothing about this is fair when you were thinking you got all the practice needed from imaginary scenarios and possibilities on all the directions the eventual separation would go.  
He can’t look at you, shaking his head nervously, choked by the silence. “Say something.”
How funny it is that he’s the most fit man you’ve ever known, could lift you with one arm without breaking a sweat— one bicep literally the size of your head, yet looks like he’d cry if someone touched him right now. It’s a hard to swallow, unreal pill that you’re the one doing this to Leon, making him weak like this. 
You’ve never known you had that kind of power over him until now, how he says he wants to break up but would throw up if you actually say yes.  
You shift in your seat, the wood of the chair suddenly digs sharply into your skin with how hyperaware your body is of all the surroundings to deviate your attention from Leon, folding your hands on your lap. 
The answer is at the tip of your tongue, it was stashed away there months ago. Of course you’ll let him go. 
What makes it easier for you is having consented to how absent and private he warned half the things involving him was going to be, or it’s that you knew from the start your time with him would be limited. You just don’t question it; completely skipping the first four stages of grief and jumping readily to acceptance. 
The lamb knew it would be slaughtered by the nurturing, kind humans, and yet it still got attached to them; Homer straight up told the readers how the story would end right at the start of Iliad, yet the fall of Patroclus and the rage of Achilles burned the same, if not worse — you knew Leon would inevitably fall apart and run away one day, yet chose to cherish your limited time with him all the same.
It can’t be called a tragedy if you agreed to how it would end in the first place. 
Leon Kennedy is ephemeral in his nature, daydream-present and lucid-absent in your life all at once. You thought of him as an outdoors cat, never really yours in the first place, randomly shows up whenever he wants to, reluctantly leaves out of nowhere — a flighty, mysterious companion who’s happy and eager to be there but withdrawn when poked and prodded. 
You accept him as such, love him all the same.  
You’re not sure if he loves you just as much. 
Fondness and like is there, enough for him to have stuck around for this long, but you figure it’s because you’re safe and constant. You’re happy to have provided him with at least that because you’re not sure what he saw in you, to be honest. 
What’s happening is painless enough to go through exactly because of this, you hadn’t let yourself get too attached to Leon knowing he isn’t into you as much as you are into him. Maybe you are deluding yourself, maybe you are numb and not as apathetic like you thought you are, but you’re convinced this is how it should go — how it’s meant to go. What’s the point when you’re aware your name won’t be at the top of his list? 
The insecurity surely is a small part of the ‘Leon Kennedy Breakup First-Aid Package’ you’ve been cultivating over time in preparation to cushion your own fall when the time would naturally come, but it doesn’t cover the shape Leon is in that even when he’s the one breaking your heart, he looks like he’s shouldering the pain you’re going through on top of his. 
This is why you can’t ever be mad at him. You wanted to be with him knowing the way he is, after all. 
Leon is a mess despite trying not to show it, his messy straw-blond hair doesn’t shine like it usually does, he hasn’t conditioned it, the golden sheen to it wilted almost. His bloodshot, red rimmed eyes are dim in their blue, laser-focused on the black coffee mug he’s tightly gripping, the skin underneath his lower lashes spread out in faded pink-purple half-rings and it only ever happens when he hasn’t gotten enough sleep in more than a couple days’ time whenever he has to be away for an unprecedented amount of time, or gets buried too long in his paperwork. His thumbs are wiping at the place he puts his lips on and have a sip at the contents of it you’ve seen he fed some liquor to a few minutes prior. He’s awfully domestic in his black sweater and pants, not at all looking like he just asked for a breakup.   
You take pity on him. 
“I see. Alright.”
His head shoots up, eyes immediately finding yours, no longer blank. He doesn’t seem sure if he heard you right, expression disbelieving. “What?”
“How do you want to do this?” Mirroring Leon’s anxious movements, your own fingers trace the rim of your own teacup. “You could start gathering your things today, but if you want to call it a day, I don’t mind—”
“No—wait—what are you saying?” 
“I’m saying okay, Leon.”
He winces at the name, gaze escaping from you again momentarily and he has to blink, the lack of your usual pet name for him must have hurt him, you presume. He has to swallow before talking. “This is it?”
You’re not sure if it’s directed at the end of your relationship or you letting him off easy. “I don’t understand. What else was I supposed to say?” 
“I don’t know, I just—”
This isn’t being hopeful, but you ask anyway. “What did you want me to say?” 
He sighs in return, tearing away his gaze and hiding it with a hand that wipes at his forehead.
Yeah, it isn’t your hopes that were crushed. You adamantly tell yourself it isn’t. He’s being nice as he always is, of course he’d question how agreeable you’re being, it’s not like his resolve is going to change. “I’m just being cooperative so we can—”
“Aren’t you angry with me?”
That was the problem?
“I’m not, Leon.” 
“How can you not be?”
“Well, I…” It’s because you love him, but bringing this up would only make it harder. “I’m not sure. You’ve been that good to me along the way, I guess. I don’t resent you for anything.”
He has that subtle sarcastic look on his face you would take as mocking if you were a total stranger, but you know better. He’s being self-deprecating. You could read it. But you should, he’s thinking. You should resent me. 
You don’t. 
The thing with Leon is he’s too good to be true that his only flaw is being a literal ghost. A well-meaning ghost who’d send presents upon presents and work his ass off to make extra time for what he had to give up on every time your plans falls through with unexpected shit that came up from his mystery job at the White House he never talks about that has him battered and bruised each time he turns up after prolonged leaves.  
Which is an oxymoron considering how attentive and absent he is at the same time. Sometimes you wondered if he’d fix his habit of being a clam about everything concerning himself after you guys were through, but imagining him becoming more open and changing for someone else hurt too much.
“Don’t you want to know why? I mean—god, why are you just taking it?” 
“What do you mean taking it? You’re not doing this to hurt me, look at you, Leon, when have you last slept? It’s hard on you too.” 
“That really doesn’t have to do with anything right now,” he dismisses. “How are you this unaffected? I’ll take it if it’s to get back at me…”
“It’s not.” You stand up, appetite lost. You want to wrap your food up and put it in the fridge to eat later, and this way, you don’t have to look at him while saying the sentences you have rehearsed for so long. “If you want to break up, I can’t force you to stay—or into anything you don’t want to. It’s not fair for either of us. You’ll be stuck with someone who you don’t want, and I’ll have to live with the knowledge I’m with someone who doesn’t want me.” 
You find him staring at you when you’re done, your hand stays wrapped around the handle of the fridge door at how tortured he is. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shakes his head, blond strands framing his face gently swishing in the air. He does the angry eyebrow scrunch whenever he disagrees with you strongly on something you’ve said, but decides not to at the last minute, and you find yourself the tiniest bit disappointed at him not refusing he doesn’t want you. “You always— you always do this... Be angry. You have to be angry at me.”
You find refuge in the kitchen sink, washing your hands. “Stop it. I don’t want to fight, please.”
“So you are angry.”
“I’m not!” You slam the water shut a bit too forceful and you breathe for a second before turning to him. “I’m not. Angry. I’m sad, yeah. An understatement. Who wouldn’t be?” 
He just says, “I’m sorry,” at that, and hates it’s the only thing he can manage to give you, it’s blatant in his face. 
You take a seat at the chair directly next to him, you both need the intimacy of good communication at the moment. “But I had a lot of time to mourn, alright? It’s not that I’m taking it or being passive or whatever—”
“Mourn?”
His eyes search yours for a second, and the realization leaves him breathless, the insides of his brows raise up, making him look younger and more innocent. “You were expecting this.”
“Yeah, I mean.” Your lips press together, and you chew the insides before hopelessly shrugging, a small smile doing its best to put itself together. “Look at us. It was never going to work out in the long term. Not really. I consider two years a miracle, to be honest. I don’t know how we got this far.”
“All this time we were together.” Leon’s voice is thick, on the verge of shaking, you weren’t expecting him to take this so badly. His pupils devour all the blue from his eyes, he has never looked at you this hostile before all the hair on your arms rise up. “You were just thinking about breaking up? Have I only ever made you insecure?”
“Not all the time—it’s just—” You swallow. ““Why are you angry at me now? What did I do? You are the one breaking up with me.”
“And here you are okay with this. You’re telling me you didn’t think we’d ever work out when I—” He huffs. “I didn’t even notice a thing. You weren’t happy at all. Ever? You were uneasy all this time?”
“No, Leon, you’re not listening to me. What I expected was that you would leave one day, eventually. Because that’s how you are. That’s how your life is.” He leans back when he gets what you are alluding at, rubbing his face with a hand, refusing to look at you — but out of anger this time around. “I know you wouldn’t be able to stand being in limbo about not letting yourself go and wanting to at the same time. I know you felt bad about everything. I guess it’s just not the right time?”
You don’t say, right person and wrong time, it’s wishful thinking on your part—Leon probably doesn’t think that, someone else seems to take that crown in his heart, you know that all too well. 
The muscles on his arm closest to you flexes, he must be thinking about taking your hand in his, so you remove them off the table and nestle them between your thighs. Any physical contact from him might lead to you crying in the end. 
“I’m sorry I made you go through all that,” he laments. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”
Your head tilts sideways. “It wasn’t about me, Leon. Suppose I sat you down and complained you weren’t open with me, you were distant. Especially when you weren’t ready for the conversation. I’ll tell you what would have happened. Two weeks of radio silence.”
“Ah, c’mon…”
“It’s not something you haven’t done before. You said it was work, but… You know. I get it.”
Leon exhales from his nose and lowers his head, broad chest puffing up with rapid breaths, his neck is getting redder by the second. You’ve never taken him for someone with an explosive anger, but it looks like that could change any second. 
“I wish you wouldn’t take this to heart, I’m not saying this to hurt you when I say I knew this was always going to happen.” You’re talking like you’re trying to soothe a tiger, and he especially looks to hate it. “You can’t possibly have expected me to ignore it. And it wasn’t going to come from me either, I’m happy to be with you either way, but—”
“That’s the problem.” He has his head between his hands, like that could possibly hide him away from the conversation. “I treat you like this and you still say that.”
You wish he wouldn’t be this hard on himself.
“I signed up for this.” He tilts his head at that, accusatory, and you get more agitated in return. “I know your circumstances. You can’t help being absent most of the time, I understand. I understand more than you think.” His forearms hit the counter loudly, he looks about to spit fire any second, but you don’t let it happen. “However. It’s no way to continue a relationship, I know that too. My perspective is that it shouldn’t be guilt that comes to your mind whenever you think of me. I wish things could be different. I wish I could be a priority to you—”
Leon’s face sours, and you stop talking when you see it. 
You didn’t mean for the words to hurt him as they did, explanations becoming distraught. “Look, I like you, you know this. Possibly too much. More than I should. You have to understand that’s why I’m being this amicable with you right now. Break-ups don’t always have to end in fights, sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s what’s happening right now, isn’t it?”
It doesn’t reach Leon. His gaze is faraway, defined jawline locked clenching and unclenching. 
“If it makes you feel better, I was angry for a while.” His hand comes down from rubbing a circle in the middle of his brows, eyes shifting back to yours. “But it is what it is.”
“You’re not even gonna ask?” he says, defeated.
“Would you tell me anything different from what I know?”
He opens his mouth, but the only thing that comes out is a sigh, one of his legs shaking, and his head falls forward, curtains of dark blond hair covering your view of his face. For a moment, all you want is to slip your fingers into the silky strands and comb them back, take his heat away, the pads of your fingers on his smooth cheekbones, you know he’d melt into your touch straight away and his expression would lose weight of the strain he carries you can only imagine the root of most of the time, but you abstain. 
He wouldn’t appreciate it on the brink of a break-up, you were about to become nothing but strangers. 
That’s why it’s abrupt when he leans forward and captures your lips in an unfair, unfair kiss, the force of it makes his teeth clack against yours and you grimace, retreating to break it. His hand slips to the side of your neck to pull you back in, the drag of calluses and heat against the skin of your neck sends goosebumps all over your body, his thumb caresses your cheek in a loving way that hurts but his lips are frantic in their gentler search to open your mouth to his, and suddenly you can’t breathe from how much Leon keeps advancing. 
Turning your face away to break the assertive, overwhelming liplock, you take in lungfuls of air as you look as away from him as you can, panicking at the way he presses his forehead to your temple and the way his nose nudges your burning cheek, he doesn’t budge when you attempt to push him off the second you realize you’re enjoying this. He’s built like a fucking tank. “Leon—”
“Say no if you don’t want it,” he breathes, right into your neck, the tickle is mixed with something dangerous that sears your skin along with the low rumble to his voice directly in your ear, and you have to stop yourself from squirming, a coil of incandescence binds its threads together in the depths of your stomach. “Say it and I’ll stop.” One muscular arm hooks around the back of your upper thigh and one around your waist, he quite literally snatches you off your chair and plops you down on his lap, each of your legs hang from the sides of his hips, and you yelp at how effortlessly Leon seems to arrange you to his liking. 
He’s needlessly, uncharacteristically cruel. You would always want him. Leon knows this. 
“You’re so—” Your breath hitches when his fingers bypass your shirt and sneak up the bare skin of your waist and his other arm readjusts you as he buries his forehead in your shoulder and you gaze at the top of his golden hair kissed by morning sunlight and take in the familiar scent of him and his shampoo. His body against yours leaves a festering sweet longing. “So unfair—you were just breaking up with me—”
He bites down at the meat of your clavicle and you draw in a short breath, the dig of his teeth sting, but he immediately soothes it with a lick and his tongue is hot, too hot. “Unfair?” he groans, you contain the shudder at the emotion he keeps at bay and at the path his blunt fingernails make above the clothing from your hips to the sides of your legs, he’s never been like this. “You already left me in your mind before this and I don’t even know exactly when.” The tip of his nose faintly traces the curve of where your neck meets the shoulder, the tickle is unbearable, aching, you wish he would have left marks instead. “You were always thinking of leaving— our time together didn’t matter to you. What do you think that makes me feel like?”
“That’s not—” You grip both of his biceps and feel the protruding veins and the flex of the muscle underneath the skin, intimidated as always by how both of your hands added together were too small to form a full hold around one. I work out a lot, was his excuse while you were first getting to know each other as acquaintances, and you’d thought how this man belonged with someone of his league. “You’re the one—” 
“You dummy, I’m not leaving you because I want to.” Leon’s arms circle your waist and pulls your body flush against his in a crushing hug, his head finding home under your chin and against your chest. It’s innocent and you feel the helplessness, the desire to hold but not be seen, but you don’t know what to do in return, his words don’t quite register. “Why would I ever when I—“ He cuts himself off, breathing shaky as the rest of the sentence dies at his throat. “Jesus, I can’t believe this.”
You tentatively hold his shoulders, surprised at how taut they are. How winded he is like some wire. “I don’t understand.”
“You are just letting me leave like that. Like some business deal done and gone, you just…” 
You can’t help the sound that escapes as he bites your earlobe. Why does he keep biting? 
“Ow!—“ Leon starts sucking, the wet sounds and his breathing directly in your ear sending shivers down your spine, and you’ve had enough of his thought processes ending up being completed by his lips on your body. 
He’s easily able to overpower you, but obeys when he feels you’re genuinely pushing him away, some strands of your hair get stuck on his face and the view of the detained obscenity of his expression  —the half-closed eyes and the missing blue, the flush of his cheekbones, glistening of his pinked lips— sends a hot wave downstairs. “It’s you. You! You’re the one leaving, Leon, I don’t get it—“
Some clarity through the pinkish haze of want dawns back to him, and he gingerly combs the threads of hair away from your face, some of them behind your ear. “I don’t want to. That’s the thing. I thought it was clear as day.” Leon searches your eyes, looking down at the details of your face, your heart races as his stare gets stuck at your lips the longest, he isn’t even aware he’s doing it and you feel feverishly desired from his insatiable look, from the slow movement of his Adam’s apple. “But—“
“You can’t help it. Right?” Your thoughts are blurring together, and he’s a black hole pulling you in. “I understand—“
Leon kisses you again, and your stolen exhale turns into a pleased hum. “Stop saying that,” he whispers with inches between your lips, eyes closed, so close your breath is his.  
“What do you want me to say?“
“Stay.” He takes your hand and brings it up, planting a singular kiss at the inside of your wrist, and then rests his cheek against your palm. You can only stare at the vulnerability he’s offering you on a silver platter, the tormenting softness is blinding. “Stay.” 
Your heart soars. God, you’ve longed for him to give away that he wants to be with you all this time, the insecurity is a blanket you’ve hidden under, this is it, but he’s so torn and you don’t get his struggle, what he must be hiding for such a visceral reaction. He wants to, but he can’t, and you don’t know why, having accepted he wouldn’t tell you from the start anyway. 
But you ask. You ask anyway. Hope is a flightless bird waiting for her wings to grow each day. “Will you?”
Something shifts, a delicate moment broken, and Leon draws back, his eyelashes flutter as if he’s shaking off some daydream — and then he’s upset, a pinch in his brow. “I’m sorry.” He shakes his head. “I can’t—“ You’re grabbed from the arms and scooted away from his lap, putting some distance between the two of you. Leon is physically pained, unable to meet your eyes. “I don’t know why I’m being like this.” He holds your hands between the two of you, and you get whiplash from the passion just mere seconds ago and the tenderness of this touch. “I can’t keep doing this to you. I don’t know why I’m this unreasonable, it’s so childish— Shit. I’m sorry, I’ll just—“
“No.” You cup his face in both hands and he looks like an abused puppy tasting kindness for the first time. “Stay for a bit.” Your heartstrings are tugged by the way Leon’s eyes are lit up. “I want to have you. One last time. Is that alright?”
A beat passes.
“Yeah,” he says, blanking out at first, but then repeats stronger, his fingers sink into the plush of your thighs as he licks his lips. “Yeah.” He turns his head and kisses your palm, somber. “You can have me however you want.”
Leon doesn’t look like he’s particularly looking forward to it. “You sure?”
“I’ll always want you, any day, any time,” he says, and you’re flabbergasted at the burden of his meaning. But you force yourself to look past it, look past the unguarded and unarmed honesty, choosing to interpret it in the language of lust. 
“Not here, though.” You get up from his lap and he doesn’t stop you. “It’s kinda cramped.”
“We can make it work if you’re up for it,” he half-teases, one corner of his lips curling up, his eyes are humorless. 
You snort. Easy for him to say. He’s fit, you aren’t, that’s why being on top can’t last half the time without his assistance. “You can. I certainly can’t.”
“You keep saying I can’t to me, knowing I take it as a personal challenge.” Leon’s touch moves up your forearm and in one swift move, he pulls you in between his legs. He leaves a kiss at the lower valley between your clothed breasts. “Maybe you’re doing it on purpose?”
You’re heating up right away. “I’m not—”
Leon pats his right leg, pulling up the sleeve of his shorts all the way up to the hipbone, exposing the well-endowed, firm thigh. “Sit here.”
“Your leg’s gonna get a cramp,” you say, but it’s hardly a complaint, your crotch has begun to contract at the thought of feeling the flawless skin slipping against your slick folds and how he would mold the tendons to fit just right for your pleasure. Expectation was pulling you tight right from the start where he had you hanging from his every word.  
Leon’s almost offended. “It won’t.” But his encouragement is gentle. “Come on, sweet girl.” Hooking one arm between the two layers of the bands of your underwear and pants, he lets them snap back against your skin after he pulls considerably. “And you’re taking off all that.”
You let it go. Immediately. “Fuck, okay.” 
It’s morning. You’re in the middle of the kitchen. And you’ve forgotten all of that, head lost in the beginnings of a dull throb between your legs. Your dignity would have been trampled on if you were too enthusiastic, so you try to take your time, and he asks, “How do you want to go about this?”
“Huh?”
His hands ride up your knee and inch up, his thumbs in the line of your inner thighs, and your first instinct is to press them together to alleviate the ache, but Leon’s forcing them apart. “You can have my tongue or fingers first. To help the friction.” You swallow when the nail of his thumb scratches the material of your panties and feels the slight dampness, and he’s watching your reactions very closely. “Or you could just sit down.”
You don’t have strength left in your knees anymore, head spinning with the way his darkened, narrowed gaze is simultaneously bearing down on and  looking up at you, and Leon helps you settle your weight on his leg after sliding your underwear down your legs, the warmth of his palms on your naked hips alone is vexing enough and it’s embarrassing that he feels the particularly strong pulse of your sex. 
He angles his leg up and you slide forward with the gathered moisture, arms catching onto his neck in surprise from the sudden jolt of pleasure. “Eager, are we?”  
You aren’t normally bold like this, would let him keep softly teasing rather than give the same energy back, but there’s a certain finality to this time, your brain is liquid smooth from the tantalizing delight of his touch, and you don’t hold back to inform just what he does to you breathily. “Always for you.”
The movement of his leg staggers and you look up to see him caught completely off guard. And the next thing you know, Leon has you in a bruising kiss, or you think it has the strength to bruise, he hasn’t been this rough before, and you certainly haven’t been craved to this extent in your entire life before him. 
This time you accept his tongue willingly into the cavern of your mouth, his fervent licks and gasps rise the question of who’s really the more eager one here, but it doesn’t really occupy space in your mind, limbs stilling overall from how he steals away all bodily functions with just kisses that radiate desperation. 
Leon ushers your hips to languidly move when you fail as a multitasker all the while the swirl of your tongues continue to tangle, and it proves difficult as your slide against him becomes smoother and wetter with him finding just how to pull the hood of your mound while you’re pulling back and drag against it in the correct angle, flexing his thigh accordingly. 
He pecks your jaw. “Faster?”
Skin contact goes straight to the tightening spiral in your stomach like this. “I can’t—”
“Don’t say you can’t.” He does something that has you dropping down from heights by circling his leg, and completely out of your control, small noises emerge from the back of your throat and you can’t kiss him back anymore. “Do you want it faster or not?”
You try to hum in agreement, but he catches you in the middle of it and jerks you forward, the sharp zap electrifies all your nerves and grants him a startled moan, you can barely see the satisfaction in his face from the sudden tears. You were somehow in control of the pace previously, but once he knows you want it faster, it’s him that anchors your hips to the edge of the stars, a man on a mission. 
Leon begins to leave open-mouthed, wet kisses on your neck that has you tilting your head to give him more room, and you’re glad his heavy gaze isn’t drinking in your bliss-stricken expression anymore. “You hear that?” His question is thick. “Listen.” 
The noises your wetness make sliding across the muscles of his thigh in a rapid speed makes some of the blood rush up to your cheeks, and the knot is stretched so agonizingly beyond the point of no return that you’re hurling towards absolution, legs beginning to shake and your whines become sweeter. “Leon,” you pant, the fever to keep going as he is conveyed in one singular word reaches him. “Leon—ah, mmh— I’m— Leon!”
“Yeah, I got you.” Adoring kisses are peppered along your jawline and your fingers clutch to his blond hair, pulling him in, your stiffened, perked up nipples are smushed in the press of his chest against yours, and you arch into him like a cat, lost in the ascending ecstasy. “Just let go.” He bites down and your sore walls clench around nothing, the pulsating increasing in intensity. You’re on a thrill ride, shooting up, up, up— “Come for me, sweet girl, come on, give it to me.”  
With a sharp, choked cry, and the throw of your head back, the coil explodes and unravels, white sparkles in your vision, and Leon holds you down when your body tries to fly off with the force of your orgasm, the sinking of his hands into your sensitive flesh only heightens and sends crashing waves as he helps you ride through it, rocking lazily with you back and forth. 
“Oh god,” you shiver, clinging to him, upper body basically draped across his chest as the pleasure rolls into a stinging ache of pain with the overstimulation, bones jiggly from the floaty feeling to get away yourself. “Too much. Leon. Too much.”
His voice is croaky. “Yeah, we’re not done yet.” 
He stands up with his arms supporting your legs around his waist, and you hold on for dear life. It scares every single time he does this. Leon makes it look so easy to carry you around from room to room without breaking a sweat. 
The full meaning of his words only get to you when you’re thrown on the bed, wind knocked out of you. “Leon, wait, aren’t you going to Spain tomorrow, don’t you have to prepare—”
“I’m preparing,” he says, putting one knee on the bed and oh god, the shine on his thigh, the drench, that was all you—- “Need to get my fill of you to last for the whole trip, yeah?”
It’s more like he’s saying, ‘To last for the rest of my life’, the hunger and melancholy makes for a Frankenstein’s monster of ravenous, unquenchable yearning when you’re right in front of him and your flame is rekindled.  
More than one round with him is uncommon most times because he’s simply busy and moves around a lot, you weren’t used to the practice, build wired to exhaustion taking over when he was finally done with you, either hot, heavy and fast or sweet and intense, each time leaving you with honeyed sore bones and the best sleep following right after. 
Arousal pools in the pit of your belly thinking about what comes next. 
Kneeling at your feet, he taps your tight-locked  knees. “Open up for me.”
It’s morning. He could see every detail of imperfection in this light and uncertainty washes over you for a second before you do as he wishes, the sheets crinkling and rustling beneath your shifting, and he gets on his stomach and puts one of your legs to his shoulder when you thought he would be entering you already. 
Flustered, you get up on your elbows. “Leon, you don’t have to.” 
“Didn’t think you wanted to get it over with right away.” Sliding his hand up, he fans his fingers on your tummy, thumb pulling at the skin dipping into your vulva, and looks up at you from his eyelashes. Little sparks of pleasure light up at each stroke. The weight of his arm is wonderful. “Breaking my heart over here.”
“It’s not that, I…”
He scooches up, and the knowingly feather-light kiss he leaves on the inside of your thigh, close — right there but not there, makes your leg twitch. “Oh, you wanted something else?” The teasing view of Leon inches away from where you wanted him was a sight for sore eyes, but his sudden hot breath on your post-orgasmic sopping heat broke your daze, making your hips attempt to jump up, but his arm had you absolutely pinned on the mattress. “Well?” 
It’s not something you’d planned, but his wanton beauty looking up at you shoves an image inside your brain unexpectedly, reminding you how you’d said you wanted to have him, not the other way around. This is going to be the last time Leon would be like this with you, and there were so many things left unexplored. What would it feel like to have this feline-gracious, strapping man underneath you, to run your lips through his unbelievably sturdy body all over and return the kindness on how good he’s been taking care of you? Leon was always perfect to you. Is perfect. Your wish to present him with how exactly on top of the world he has you feeling for your final time, to return the favor. 
Leon has stopped moving and it’s because of your lack of reaction and the long look of contemplation regarding him. You lift his hair away from his eyes. “Can you lay down on your back?”
“You wanna get on top?” he asks, but doesn’t object to it, moving up on the bed and sitting up, getting the hint on taking off his clothes, enamored, you watch his abdomen flex and limbs stretch like a cat’s as he slips his shirt off and throws it away and shimmy off his briefs. Every single movement of his is a wonder. 
“No, I want to touch you,” you say, stare not knowing where to focus on him and his half-hard dick jumps at your words. “Explore you.”
He meets your eyes, pupils blown, and swallows, nodding. “You’re gonna kill me.”
“I wanted to have you, remember?” 
There’s a semblance of a laugh and Leon rolls on his back, one knee up and hands on his stomach, blond hair fanning around his head on the sheets. He looks like a sculpture. “And how will you have me?”
“Pleasured without thinking of pleasuring,” you explain, he’d be better at the dirty-talk in your position, perhaps say something like ‘Crying for me’, but you’re way too fascinated by him to think about what would have him helplessly turned on. “Vulnerable.”
You would be lucky if you are able to push him to the point of not even one thought behind those pretty blue eyes, but you just want to make him feel good, and with that in mind, reach a hand and trail the tips of your fingers through the prominent web of veins along his forearm, his fingers jump, and you continue through his upper arm, lingering on the sharp lines of lighter-colored small scars until you reach his shoulder, feeling the cluster of the goosebumps that rise in his skin. 
“Seriously?” he says with an annoyed timbre and you see him having gone completely hard, eyebrows shooting up in shock. “You’re going this slow? Am I some package you’re unboxing?” 
“You seem to be enjoying it,” you murmur in interest, and Leon sulks at how you run all five of your fingernails all the way down the lower of his belly button and how it’s hardly even a graze at all. His abs keep contracting. “I barely touched you.”
“You, haah,” he sighs at you straddling and hovering above him. “Don’t need to point that out.”
Leon tries to hold onto your thighs but you maneuver him away, and unsurprisingly, he isn’t pleased by that, groaning. “Oh we’re doing this?”
“I’m touching you. Stay still like a good boy.”
It’s your usual banter, but for some reason, he turns his face away and closes his eyes for a second, wetting his lips as if his mouth is dry. The line of his neck clenches and unclenches and you feel the brush of his dick lightly hit the inside of your leg. You’re fascinated again. He likes this more than you expected. “God, you really want to kill me.”
Leon could stop it if he wanted to. Switch it around. It’s not like he hasn’t done it before. All the times you’ve attempted to ride him and your knees and calves failed you, he ended up sitting up and hugging you close, fucking up into you and kneading your insides from below and littering your shoulders with angry red marks, taking control of the pace, especially riled up from how endearing and sexy you were trying your best to pleasure him, in his words. He can do it again, but doesn’t. Just lies there, all for you, stuck between a rock and a hard place — which, in this case, is his discomfort and enjoyment. The lack of stimulation gets him going. 
You lean down and nip at the corner of his mouth, and he responds immediately, turning back to you, chasing the kiss. His hands come up to your waist but you take them off, pinning them to his sides, and Leon complains through sharply breathing into your mouth. “I’ll only,” Kiss. “Hold you.” Kiss. “Please, just let me—” You lightly bite his tongue. 
As if he couldn’t do it if he truly wanted to. He is letting you do this to him. Pleading. In that tone of voice, too. You’re in over your head, what is happening? 
“No,” you say, kissing his jaw and caressing the hinge of his opposite jaw with your thumb, sounding stern but feeling silly inside, unsure if he’s amused by you deep down. But Leon huffs again like a spoiled brat not getting what he wants. 
You’re shell-shocked, but continue your pursuit to find out what else he likes, settling on his ear, making a line through the outer rim of soft tissue with your tongue and sucking kisses until he’s shifting around, you can hear how he’s trying to level out his breathing, then you bite, and he hisses as you repeat it over and over again. 
You’ve heard that some men enjoy getting their nipples played with, and you caress and massage, knead and fondle all over his torso with both hands as the switching of your gentle and silky mouth and the needling pleasure of teeth assault his ear, and you listen to his heavy breathing the occasional hitch of it until you circle around one nub, and flick it, rubbing down and pressing the pebbled nipple inwards, just like how he does it to you, and twist the other one. His face hides itself in your neck, and you let him have that, at least. 
His exhale turns into sound and he shuts it down pretty quickly, opting to speak up instead. “Can you—” he begins, and then tuts, sounding nonchalant, but you hear it. You hear the thickness of contained arousal. “Can you move on already?”
“You want the other ear?”
His head jerks in your position at you saying that straight into his ear and breathing into it, you know the thin sheen of saliva coating it makes the sensation sharp and cool and warming at the same time. “No—” he says, but you ignore him, cutting the rejection off by taking his other earlobe between your teeth. “Jesus Christ, this isn’t necessary—”
“If it isn’t, why is this wet?” You ask, watching him closely, tapping the pearl of clear liquid gathered at the tip of his ramrod straight hardness. It’s scalding hot, throbbing at the contact. Leon hisses between his teeth, trying to contain it, and sighs as your index finger circles the tip to spread it around, another bead of precum swelling in the wake of your touch. His eyebrows are scrunched, lips thinning and returning to their usual plushness with him pushing them together, a dust of pink coloring his complexion, a weak glare is on you. “Just enjoy it.”
“I could if you actually did something already.”   
You wrap a tight hand around Leon’s needy cock, heavy and thick, and he shouts, the cry turning into a high-pitched whine you would never dream of coming from him and he clamps a hand on his mouth right in the middle of it, hips bucking into you, head thrown back, blown eyes horrified at what he just did. His breaths are loud and shaky, face turning red in seconds, and you watch, utterly captivated. You’ve seen adorable sides of him before when he lets himself be light and his brow isn’t hanging close to his eyes in that grumpy mood, but what you have right here…   
You’re drunk on this side of his, nibbling at his exposed throat. “You’ll take what I give you.”
“God,” he whispers behind his palm, with a subtle tremble when you squeeze once and let go. His hips stutter up before falling back. Leon’s embarrassed. “Fuck.”
He doesn’t retort back, all of the sass packed and left. You can’t believe this is working. That Leon’s obeying you like this. He’s leaked all over your hand. Oh my god. 
And you’ve really barely even done anything to him. 
You can’t help but wonder if this is you doing this to Leon or he’s just into being bossed around in general. 
How further can you push?
“Look, you’ve wet my hand,” you say, bringing your glistening palm up and separating your fingers after circling the gathered precum around, a thin thread forming between the digits. Like a hawk, he watches you lap it all up and you don’t take your eyes off of his, hearing him grip the sheets. “Still gonna act like this isn’t doing anything for you?”
Leon’s voice is gravelly as he rasps, “Kiss me.” It’s something between a request and a demand that if you don’t do it, he will. 
You oblige, pushing down on his chest to get him to lie down again when it’s apparently too slow and soft for him, and he avidly presses forward to make it rougher, intertwining his tongue with yours harsher to the point of your mixed drool sliding down his chin for more. 
He’s yanking and pulling on his clasp on the dreadfully wrinkled covers in self-restraint as he bites and licks and pulls at your lips, butterflies light up the pit of your stomach and thrash against the liquefied rapture that throbs in your pussy and seeps out, the need for attention growing impatient by the minute.  
You go down and focus on kissing his neck, alternating between openmouthed licks and bites, careful not to leave marks, insides doing a summersault at the small noise of disappointment he makes that transitions into husky gasps. Leon still is concerned with suppressing any kind of unbecoming sounds he’s appalled to come out of him, and you’re bothered by that. Pressing your palm on the head of his cock and twisting sure does the trick to vocalize him a bit, restoring your confidence. 
“Ah… Can’t you just directly touch it,” he sighs gruffly. “This isn’t enough—”
“You aren’t asking nicely enough.” 
His head snaps down, brows raised in disbelief, self-consciousness clouding the teased promise of bliss that edges him on, and you stare back at him pointedly — however, on the inside, you’re worried if he’d ever beg at all. 
You twist your palm with added pressure enough to alleviate the pain, but not enough to carry him to the peak he wants to get to, and his shoulders jump up, “Ah!” Biting down on his momentarily trembling lower lip and shaking his head with closed eyes as if he doesn’t want to see you watch him be like this, he mutters, “I’m gonna get you for this…” 
You grip the base of his cock so hard his hands fly up to your wrists and with a shuddering whimper, stop at the last second before he touches you and he drapes his forearms on his reddened face instead, his back rises from the bed involuntarily, Leon’s flat-on squirming and hating it. 
“That’s not nice,” you tease, pressing your legs together in momentary relief and waves of pleasure that slip on your skin like silk, and narrowly stopping the moan. You breathily add, “What do we say?” 
“Please,” so fast and quiet, humiliated. You understand, but don’t let him off.  
“I didn’t catch that.”
“Fuck, please, come on, please.” His hands ball into fists and his arm veins pop out and his right knee curls upwards. “You can’t keep doing this to me—AHH—mhhmh—!”
His sentence gets cut off into incomprehensible babbling once you start pumping your fist up and down his neglected erection, not even needing lotion for it, he’s drenched enough to make the slide beyond slippery. You add your other hand into the mix and begin teasing the tip, and his chest, having developed a thin layer of sweat and gleaming in the sunlight, is heaving, and he can’t swallow the gasps and noises anymore, fingernails digging into his palms. You can only see his puffed, rufescent lips from the way he’s covering his face.  
“Wasn’t what I had in mind, but I’ll take it,” you say, and it’s genuine. This much alone was too much, way beyond what you thought could happen. Leon is always in control, he has it together so brilliantly that this is actually him falling apart, it’s an enthralling, spellbinding natural disaster so beautiful you can’t look away, want to touch yourself to the sight. 
“I’ll show you what I have in mind,” Leon all but snarls, and he has you on your back and pulls you towards him by your legs harshly even before shivers can go down your spine. “Let’s see if you can take that.” 
You pushed him past his limit it seems, and he darkly stares you down, eyebrows scrunched and beads of sweat rolling down his temples. sweat-dampened hair curtains his face from both sides. His hand slips behind both of your knees and scratches at the smooth skin of the crevice, shooting lightning directly into your core, and he hikes them up to hook over his shoulder and hugs one bulging arm around to hold them together, lining himself up with your slit with a trembling hand, dragging the cherry red, furious tip up and down, slipping it in for a bit, catching your insides in a tantalizing drag, and then taking it out next, making your toes curl in the air and drawing squeals out of you. 
Leon would normally send you to the underground and back from how horribly he’d tease you for being this drenched for him, but he’s strained and silent now, snapping his hips against yours and burying himself to the hilt in the spasming cavern of your pussy in one go, with no resistance from how ready for him you were, ripping a fractured cry from you as your vision blacks and stars dance behind your eyes. He groans gutturally, cock pulsing inside, and you feel the sound in your body. You’re overly sensitive from head to toe, and even the sheets sliding against your burning skin makes your clit throb painfully, deliciously. 
He doesn’t start slow or build to something, it’s quick and rough right off the bat as he’s ramming into you with no mercy, and he’s basically catapulting you into glorious completion, but you need more stimulation, more, something more—
He slaps your hand away when you try to reach down to your clit to slip two fingers between your tightly shut legs and falls on his forearms, “No way I’m letting you do that.” Leon arranges your legs to wrap around his waist, grinding against you. 
His attention then shifts to something else and he pulls on the sleeve of your shirt that’s still on, a scheming shine comes to the blue of his eyes that worry you, and then he’s leaning in and forcing it up. It’s hard for you to move your back and slip it off with the way he’s pinning you down, and it dawns on you late after you make the mistake of raising your arms that it’s what he wants after all. After getting your head out, Leon turns it inside out around the entire length of your arms that act as a makeshift restraint and leaves it like that, you’re incapacitated with your hands over your head like this. 
You whine, this is so about not letting him touch you, and he thrusts up sharply to shut you up, sucking blossoming reds into the crook of your neck, hands pulling and pinching at your nipples. It’s building up. It’s building up, but— “You’re going to come like this.”
The frantic slap of skin against skin is echoing in the room and you struggle against the bunched up shirt around your arms. “Can’t—”
“You’re doing it on purpose at this point.” He laces his fingers into your hair on top of your head, thumb on your forehead in little caresses, contrasting how he fucks you shallow and fast, his voice a couple octaves higher than it usually is as he angles your hips upwards to hit deeper, and your moans are a metronome in beat to his ruthless pace. 
“Yeah, that’s right, take it!” Eyes glazed over, mouth agape, the muscles in his thighs jumping, body pulled taut, wrecked and somehow begging, Leon doesn’t leave a single spot unkissed on your face and throat and he’s hurling towards an uncontrolled craze, he’s so close himself. “More? You want more? Too bad, this is it—mmm—for what you just did to me, and you’re gonna take it!” 
You’re clamping down on him and he hisses in your ear as you repeat it like a mantra, Leon is wrenching a merciless orgasm from you and you have no control over it, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, can’tcan’tcan’tcan’t—!”   
Leon’s delectable weight pins you down as you shoot up with the detonation of the pleasure into a thousand pieces, rippling through your body in building waves, your pussy clenching down on him catches him off guard and he unceremoniously spills into you with a choked, staccato shout shuddering, the succulent warmth coating your insides and adding to the ecstasy, and it just keeps coming, his load is too heavy and too much. Your stiffened legs lock the shivering man in place and tremble around his waist as he languidly rides his bliss out, forehead sticky against your clavicle, the sheer strength with which he holds you against him is euphoric rather than suffocating. 
“God, what the fuck was that,” he mumbles at some point, collapsing on top of you and turning you around with him so he won’t crush you, pulling you to his sweaty chest and putting his chin on top of your head. His scent has you in a fuzzy daze. “What did you do to me?”
You don’t respond, consciousness slipping from your fingers and pulling you deep into the sweet comfort of the dark. 
You feel his hand on your cheek, lightly nudging. “Hey, you okay?” 
“Mhm,” you manage to make out. “Wanna sleep…”
“Okay, sweet girl, I got you,” he says, soft and endeared, from far, far away. 
And with that, you’re out like a light. 
When you wake up, you find yourself thoroughly cleaned up, in comfortable, cotton pajamas, with no Leon in sight and a small note left on your nightstand with the keys to your apartment on top of it. 
It reads: Had to go. I’m sorry about not staying until you woke up. Talk to you when I get back.
You plop back on your fluffy pillows and sigh, chest hurting. It was always going to end this way. In hindsight, you’ve seen it coming. 
Your heart doesn’t agree, tears freely falling from your eyes. It’s really over. Leon really left like that. Just as he came into your life. 
You don’t have the right to complain. You’d agreed to it in the first place. 
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quill-is-brainstorming · 11 months
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I've just re-read the short lived duel that Aeneas and Achilles have in Book 20 of the Iliad and it's actually the most hilarious fucking thing.
So it starts out with Apollo disguising himself as Lycaon, one of Priam's many sons, and telling to have a go at Achilles. Keep in mind that this is post-Patroclus Achilles. Aka: berserk Achilles. Aka: so fucking mad he would fight a literal river Achilles.
Aeneas, who is capable of critical thinking, says he doubts he can actually take him on. He also references a time when he was herding cattle on Mount Ida and Achilles ambushed him, adding that the only reason he survived then was because Zeus gave him enough strength to book it (cracking up the official times that he's been saved by a god from certain death to 3, you go dude!).
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However, after a bit of back and forth and a ton of hyping up on Apollo's part, Aeneas decides to try anyway.
Like, what could possibly go wrong?
Achilles notices Aeneas charging at him and he begins to taunt him. It's something among the lines of: "I'm sorry, are you, background trojan character #61, actually gonna try and beat me? And then what? Do you think that Priam will reward you in some way? Maybe making you king after him? Well it's BULLSHIT, because Priam fucked so much that your chances of succeeding him are basically 0. Ahah. Loser."
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Now, you'd think that maybe Aeneas got enraged at the comment and attacked him, or maybe he even got scared and backed down, but NOPE. What does Aeneas do?
Well, first of all, he insults Achilles' insults, comparing his bickering to that of a child. Literally, "I heard third graders do better than that." And then he decides to list his and Hector's entire fucking family tree.
You know that part of the Bible that's like "this guy sired this other guy, and this other guy sired yet another guy" and so on? It's basically that.
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So after he's done with all that, Aeneas states that while he'd love to have a battle of insults with Achilles, because according to him he's actually very good at insulting people (his words, not mine), they should probably throw hands now. Achilles agrees.
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The duel is shortlived and Aeneas gets his ass handed to him. Badly. As expected. And he's about die when ✨️POV shift✨️ we're not on Olympus where Poseidon, Hera and Athena are watching this absolute train wreck go down.
Poseidon, pitying Aeneas, suddenly goes on a rant. It's something among the lines of: "come on guys, look at him, he's just a little guy! He literally has no stakes in this war, he doesn't deserve to die here! He even gives us lots of gifts and sacrifices, he's literally such a nice guy. How can we do this to him!?
...oh and also he's part of some prophecy, Zeus would get mad if he died."
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The fact that the way it's worded makes it sound like Aeneas being part of a literal prophecy is an afterthought to him absolutely floors me, Poseidon is literally just attached to a random dude that's fighting on the opposite side to his because he thinks he's nice.
After all that Hera is pretty unimpressed and states that she really doesn't care if our man lives or dies as neither her or Athena have ever saved a Trojan from death, she however adds that Poseidon is free to do whatever he wants.
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The literal moment Hera stops talking, Poseidon lunges down from Olympus and onto the battlefield to look for the two combatants. When he does, he saves Aeneas like only he can do.
You know how when Diomedes first tries to kill Aeneas, Aphrodite gently folds her hands around him to shield him? There's none of that here. Poseidon just runs up to him and literally flings the motherfucker.
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It literally says that he flies "high in the air". It's like a Looney Toons sketch.
So Aeneas lands and, while he's obviously a bit dazed, Poseidon proceeds to call him a madman and essentially tells him to never do something stupid like that again and just wait until Achilles is dead, then he'll be able to murder Achaeans to his heart's content. Aeneas is fine with that.
Achilles, who just saw his opponent just get yeeted into the fucking sky, just shrugs and goes "welp, guess that guy's off limits, I'm gonna go kill someone else now I guess lol".
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This entire scene is pure fucking gold and the fact that I've literally never seen anyone talk about it just breaks my heart.
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persephoneist · 6 months
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both the iliad and odyssey plus trojan women should be required reading before you odysseus post
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thoodleoo · 3 months
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whenever people say something is "from myth".. what does that mean, usually? i went to write something about the minotaur and realized i wasn't paraphrasing anything i'd actually read but just.. vague pop cultural consensus. are there specific texts i should be citing, or is that not how myth works? where do these ideas and stories come from?
usually people are referring to texts from the ancient world- things like the homeric hymns, the iliad and the odyssey, ovid's metamorphoses, and so on. we also use imagery from art like vase paintings and frescoes to inform our understanding of the stories! other material culture like votive figurines and evidence of sacrifices can help too, though they often give us more insight into things like how particular gods were worshipped
theoi is a really great resource if you're interested in this, because it tells you the ancient sources that individual stories are pulled from so you can see the context behind some of the differences in the stories! it also has some imagery like vase art, but a lot of those require more digging through academic texts to find
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wolfythewitch · 8 months
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Hi, audio book anon again
I was going to start listening to the illiad and I had found a good unabridged version (shout out to the people in the comments of my original ask)
But after reading the reviews I found several people complaining it wasn't the full version because the trojan horse and achilles death weren't in it
So I looked it up and google says those things just aren't in the illiad at all and are in the aeneid
But I wanted to double check with you and other greek mythology enjoyers on tumblr, because I trust you more then google
Also follow up question should I listen to the aeneid before or after the odyssey ?
Iliad first, and then Odyssey, and then the Aeneid. Technically The Odyssey and the Aeneid can be switched because they both follow different main characters, but the Aeneid Does reference the Odyssey a little bit. And yeah! The Trojan horse is in the Odyssey and Aeneid mainly, the iliad mostly details like a small bit of the war. I'm not sure which poem mentions Achilles's death explicitly, but you do meet his ghost in the Odyssey and there are depictions of it in antiquity
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amiti-art · 6 months
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Cyrene, Apollo and Ares (and how it was actually only Cyrene and Apollo and Wikipedia is not always a reliable source)
Some of you might know the myth in which Apollo's lover - Cyrene met Ares and had a son named Diomedes (NOT the same guy as Diomedes from Iliad) with him.
Except... she didn't.
When I was researching Cyrene some time ago I realised that her article on Theoi (great source btw) doesn't mention Ares at all. I didn't pay that much attention to this back then, after all, most of the myths have many versions so I assumed that the one with Ares is just less popular one.
I was more preoccupied with the fact that Idmon who I always thought to be Apollo and Cyrene's son was not actually always listed as theirs and had like 5 different variants of parentage.
Let's start with Cyrene's children and why Wikipedia should not be used as a primary source.
Her Personal Information Section on Wikipedia lists 3 children: Aristaeus, Autuchus and Idmon. Later in the Family section it's said that she also had Diomedes with Ares.
For the life of me I could not find anything about Autuchus in the ancient sources BUT I found that Anthocus (which is kinda similar) was the title of Aristaeus and was sometimes mistaken for another son of the pair.
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So likely it is the same mistake.
Aristaeus is also the one who is almost always said to be son of Apollo and Cyrene and both of his parents appear in his myths.
Idmon like I said had many different sets of parents: Apollo and Cyrene, Abas and Cyrene, Apollo and Asteria (NOT the sister of Leto), Apollo and Antianeira, Apollo and Abas (one is bio father, the other is foster father, I think????). He also doesn't have an article on Theoi so reserch on him is going to be a nightmer. 🙃
And now Diomedes
Wikipedia says this
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But does not link any source for this story
What's more: there are sources describing Apollo changing Cyrene into a Nymph and they also don't mention Ares AT ALL. They are also written in a way that suggest that changing her into a Nymph was one of the first things Apollo did after meeting her.
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This doesn't add up with this Ares thing at all.
So where did the Wikipedia article got this Cyrene-fighting-Ares story from? Well, I decided to look into edits history and this section was actually deleted a few months ago with this comment.
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My honest reaction to this information: 😐
And then the section was revived for some reason.
But you know when it was first added? 2 years ago.
When did Rick's book about Greek heroes came out? 8 years ago.
So right now Cyrene's Wikipedia article is misleading and contains information from a RETELLING stated as facts.
The only thing I could find that was linking Cyrene with Ares was this:
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and it doesn't even say if this is the same Cyrene. It could be, but we have to remember that in the myths there were like 14 dudes named Abas (and 5 named Idmon while we're at it.)
+this is a very late source compared to all the other Cyrene's myths.
Other source claims that Diomedes' mother was Asterie
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I personaly think those are two different Cyrenes and here's why:
• Cyrene (Apollo's lover) when introduced in the myth is usually accompanied either by her parentage or by some other characteristic like "sheparderss" "huntress" "archeress" "lion slayer" and so on. Cyrene from Ares' myth has nothing to her name which makes me think she was just some random women.
• Non of Cyrene's own myths ever mention Ares (or I couldn't find any), while Apollo is mentioned often.
• Apollo's Cyrene was Thessalian and Diomedes (and therefor his mother likely as well) was Thracian
• There is literally nothing I could find that would suggest that Apollo's Cyrene and Cyrene from Ares myth are the same and since there are many characters in the mythology with the same names (again 14 Abas') labeling these two as one is irrational (Diomedes himself shares the name with one of the Iliad's characters).
Anyway, lesson for today: be careful while reading Wikipedia and always check the sources.
This kinda scares me tbh because how many more of those articles treat retellings as actual sources and were added by fans of the said retellings?
I hope somebody will fix this article because wtf
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chaos0pikachu · 3 months
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Film Making? In My BL? - The Sign ep01 Edition
So, if we're doing this we're doing this, so buckle in baby.
I'm gonna focus how the opening scene below, uses two narrative devices and one film technique to build out the scene as a whole: in media res, misdirection, and the long take.
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Okay so to begin, we have to start at the beginning, or well, the middle lmao
In Media Res
I saw a post in the tag that said something to the effect of how The Sign starting with no context and providing no information at the beginning was strange, with the implication it was bad writing. I disagree, fundamentally, because The Sign is using a very common literary device called 'In Media Res'. And in my opinion, uses this device very well.
If you're familiar with basic storytelling terms I ain't telling you anything new, but for folks who may not know, in media res is a latin term that means "in the midst of things" and lots of stories - both prose, comics, and film - use this device.
The most famous is The Iliad by Homer, which if you've ever read - and you should it's glorious also it'll give some context to Song of Achilles - you know it drops you full-on no context into the middle of things. The beginning will differ in verbiage depending on the translation you pick up, this free version starts with:
THE CONTENTION OF ACHILLES AND AGAMEMNON. In the war of Troy, the Greeks having sacked some of the neighboring towns, and taken from thence two beautiful captives, Chryseis and Briseis, allotted the first to Agamemnon, and the last to Achilles.
Right off the bat the story drops four character names and the setting with no real context. Who are all these people? Why is there a war? Well, keep reading to find out! It also starts the story with an action aka an argument - nay A CONTENTION!! Achilles and Agamemnon are such bratty bitches lol
Other (more mainstream) examples include:
The Dark Knight
Lost
28 Days Later
Mission Impossible (pick one)
Fight Club
Full Metal Alchemist (both)
MDZS
Inception
And, The Sign.
"In contrast to linear storytelling, which starts at the beginning and moves sequentially, in medias res is a nonlinear approach that can make stories more dynamic and immersive.
It's a technique that challenges the audience to make sense of the narrative puzzle, often revealing essential information about the characters and their motivations gradually." (source)
What's described above is exactly how The Sign, starts it's story, in the middle of things, specifically to create a puzzle for the audience to figure out gradually. If you watch the above scene, what's happening?
We get a (well done) overshot of an island (establishing setting), we see a group of soldiers (establishing the characters we'll be following) we see them doing military things (okay these are their skills, and they're on some sort of mission), their drone spots a group of people inside and a character says the dialogue "Listen up, you only have 15 minutes" (this establishes stakes, okay there's a time limit to this mission) "Team A will rescue the hostage" (okay now we know what the mission is and informs these characters are on a rescue mission).
Who is speaking here? We don't know yet, but a safe assertion would be this character, since they are the first character who speaks on screen, will be important.
And we'd be right because it's Phaya speaking, one of our main protagonists as well soon find out.
All this happens within the first minute; the show provides an interesting set-up. It deals out information in tidbits - setting, characters we'll be following, situation set-up, stakes - but not enough information for the audience not to ask questions.
I want to iterate that at this point, the goal isn't to "care" about the characters yet, so much as create an intriguing set-up based in action that will showcase various information about the tone, setting, and skills of the piece that will engage the audience. To make the audience ask questions, to engage with them.
When you open up on MDZS the protagonist, Wei Wuxian is dead and we have no context for this. Everyone is just in the middle of celebrating his death and we, the readers, do not care that he's dead or why he died. The story could have started in a more linear way, with him arriving at Cloud Recesses arguably the beginning of his journey, but would that have been as interesting? As engaging?
I like how this article breaks down the why of starting your story in media res is a powerful and often used device:
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This is what The Sign is doing in this opening part. Starting the action of the series off with action and creating that immediate engagement. The scene also ends with a plot twist which connects to that final point about information control.
This isn't a technique I've seen often used in BL because BL is a sub-genre of romance and most romances are told in chronological order, rather than non-linearly - there are, of course non-linear romances, but most mainstream romances, and by extension most BL aren't told in this way - BL shows don't often have actual physical action. A majority, especially in Thailand, are grounded, closer to slice-of-life, coming-of-age, and comedy dramas - though we are starting to see a change in that trend.
So starting in the middle of things, like chepa the middle of what? Two dudes walking~ to Engineering class?
The goal of this opening scene is to pull in the audience, make them wonder and ask questions: "who are these characters? will they rescue the hostages? who are the bad guys? who is this character who's having visions?" and so on and so forth. It's a way to engage in the audience without having to slow down the narrative with a ton of exposition, or build up stakes slowly, rather it grabs the audience immediately and sets them in the middle of the tension asking them to engage with what's happening.
The Long Take
You've probably heard about "the long take" but to break it down, a long take is one continuous take without any edits/cuts. The film 1917 was famously filmed to "look" like one long take. One of the most cited and well known long takes is from Children of Men by Alfonso Cuarón:
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Now if you watch this movie you can tell why there isn't a lot of BL long takes because, god damn, they built a new type of car just to get that one scene. [read here for more on long takes]
So, The Sign. It's long take starts at about 2:08, following Phaya - again, we the audience don't know this is Phaya BUT since the camera is spending specific time with him we assume he is An Important Character and he is! Set up and payoff! Funny how that works - and ends at around 4:27.
[Sidenote I love that the take ends, not with a cut but a transition. Which I'll cover in another post but in the land of Thai BLs which favor cuts so damn much transitions were so refreshing to see]
During this long take, we establish that these characters are competent at what they do. We understand that they're military trained, in both hand-to-hand combat and firearms. We also get these two mid-close ups, which signifies these will be Important Characters:
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And they are, the first shot is of Phaya, Khem and Thongthai and the second is Tharn and Yai.
This also sets-up the character dynamics; Yai and Tharn are already close and know each other so they are drawn to each other while on the mission, while Khem and Thongthai have a pre-established relationship but are still supporting behind Phaya.
This type of shot also allows for the audience to better see and follow the fighting that's happening on screen. Filming fight scenes are their own beast, and while there's no one school of thought on how a film scene "should" be filmed, there are techniques that that place some fight scenes above others.
The first video showcases some techniques on how to film a fight scene, while the second one at the 8min mark talks about the long take in John Woo's classic action film Hard Boiled.
This long take in Hard Boiled really showcases why long takes are so powerful in filming a fight scene specifically. They pull the audience further into the action and create a palpable energy that just works better than a scene with lots of quick cuts.
There's a reason one of the biggest criticisms of Mortal Kombat (2021) was that all the fights were edited to pieces while John Wick (2014) was a refreshing jolt to the industry.
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The Sign takes a page out of John Woo's book, and places the characters, and the physicality of the scene front and center, pulling the audience along with the camera in one long shot.
Long takes are hard, I can't really emphasize this enough, if you watched that video on Children of Men you can see all the intricate work that went into scenes that amounted to maybe 5mins of actual film time. Likewise this long take in The Sign is only about 2mins of actual time in the show BUT it's effective, it's engaging, its ambitious.
Which is why, I gotta give The Sign it's roses because of that ambition. Long takes are a lot of hard work, time, effort, blocking, rehearsals, on top of incorporating the fight chorography that's a lot and it looks good.
Now is this the best~~~ long take I've ever seen? lol no god but it's well done and ambitious especially for the sub-genre of BL.
Misdirection
Misdirection has more in common with in media res than the long take as it's a literary device and not a filming technique.
From Gotham Writers:
"In fiction misdirection can be either external or internal. That is, the author can be using the story as a frame to misdirect the reader, or a character in the story may be misdirecting one or more of the other characters. Or, of course, both." (source)
Misdirection is often used in thrillers or mystery narratives, Hitchcock used misdirection a lot in his films.
In Psycho the audience is lured to believe that Marion, the character the film opens with, builds up, and essentially sets up as our protagonist, is in fact our protagonist. She's not, she's murdered and her sister, Lila, is the actual protagonist of the movie. Sorry if this is a spoiler for an almost 70 year old film lmao
Misdirection is often used to set-up plot twists down the line. A good misdirection will leave clues for the audience when they watch back and go, "oh! I can't believe I missed that!"
In film The Sixth Sense is a good example of this, where the plot twist at the end doesn't weaken the film once you know it but rather, it enhances the film itself on a rewatch. Another good example of misdirection in film are both Knives Out and Glass Onion, where Rian Johnson will set up a non-linear story and then slowly unravel the information for the audience.
Take the scene where Marta, in Knives Out, finds Fran's body and hears Fran say "it was you" at least to audience ears. Then stands up looming above Fran's body. The scene cuts, and the audience is led to believe Marta has let Fran die to protect herself (since we the audience also have been led to believe Fran is dead) only to find out later that Marta didn't let Fran die, she is alive, and she knew Ransom was the killer.
The Sign uses misdirection in a much more simple way. It sets up an expectation: Phaya is going to die, upping the stakes from "must save hostages" to "must save a comrade" aka the character we, the audience, have been following for the last 11 minutes. It sets two characters, Chart and Phaya, as opposing against each other, for reasons we don't know - is Chart one of the villains? Why is he trying to kill Phaya? etc - and the audience is led to believe this is a life or death situation.
Then, plot twist. The reveal happens that this was all a training exercise, and there was never any "real" danger whilst also keeping the audience on their toes. And like in The Iliad, now we have context for the mission, and then the story is able to step back and explain.
It's not like, the best~~~ use of misdirection but there was a purpose to it. It sets up an expectation, and subverts that expectation of the audience - but in a good way not a Game of Thrones way. While also pulling the audience into the show by starting in the middle of the action rather than slowing down the story with exposition or giving their hand away to much that this was a training exercise.
If you knew it was a training exercise, suddenly the stakes feel less intense because none of the characters are in any real danger, but not knowing that, withholding that information until it's relevant, ups the stakes of the scene.
The opening scene of The Sign imparts a lot of information without using a lot of dialogue and I find that impressive. We learn which characters will be relevant to the story - Phaya, Tharn, Yai, Khem, Thongthai and now we know, Chart is also important - that they are skilled combat fighters, knowledgeable in firearms, there's a fantasy element to the story via Tharn's visions, they're on an island which the setting for right now, and the tone and aesthetic of the show itself.
It's actually a fun scene to rewatch again with more context because I appreciated it even more. Which is just good film making.
I didn't talk much about the camera work - needless to say it's notable and fun - but maybe I'll save that for the next post. What other shows or scenes would be fun to breakdown? Drop me a line but heads up I don't actually watch a ton of shows so idk if I've seen xyz show lmao
Later chepies ✌️✌️
Other posts in the series:
Aspect Ratio in Love for Love's Sake | Cinematography in My BL - Our Skyy2 vs kinnporsche, 2gether vs semantic error, 1000 Stars vs The Sign | How The Sign Uses CGI
[like these posts? drop me a couple pennies on ko-fi]
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sunshine-theseus · 5 months
Text
Cyclones | Christine Sinclair x Reader
Words: 3k
Summary: cyclones and cancelled flights eventually lead to good things.
Warnings: natural disaster?, fake injury. Let me know if I missed anything
“Are you sure you’re okay?” the voice crackles through my phone speaker, the shotty connection barely giving me time to talk to my best friend.
“I have my candles and torches, the tub and my water bottles are full, everything is inside or tied down. The only devasting loss so far is my leftover curry I had to throw out.” The torrential rain hasn’t let up since it arrived last night, but it isn’t helping the sweltering heat that will only worsen with no power. The second of which I fear I may lose any moment.
“This isn’t my first rodeo Chris, I’ll be okay.”
“But what if this is the one time you aren’t? I can’t spend my retirement vacation without my best friend. I’ll end up mourning you instead.”
“Why the fuck would y-” my phone dies and everything else in my house goes with it. I didn’t realise I had such little charge, but the newly found lack of airflow through my house is my number one issue.
A cyclone hasn’t hit my little coastal town in years, but the universe has conveniently chosen the day I’m supposed to fly out to join Christine, to hit. The Australian heat is wasting no time and as the rain carries on, I lay down on the tiles to find relief. I originally planned to turn my generator on, but eventually decide to keep everything off, it’s been a while since I’ve properly disconnected.
I gather books I’m yet to read, candles and snacks from the cupboard and sit down at my desk. I’m an hour into reading The Iliad when my cat jumps up and starts meowing and pawing at the pictures that are carefully placed on or around my desk. The main focus seems to be the two polaroid images in the same frame, of Christine and I from when we first played each other at the 2003 world cup, and from her retirement match a month ago.
We’d never met before 2003, but both sported the number 12 and thought a jersey swap would be cool. We became close friends rather quickly but only played each other at big tournaments until we both signed for the Portland Thorns in 2013.
I think that’s when I first knew I had a crush on her, but 10 years into a friendship is a rather odd time to confess to your best friend you like them, so I never mentioned it. We’ve both dated multiple people since then, but nothing ever sticks.
Then, 4 years ago, I retired after one too many ACL injuries. At 34 it was probably time for me anyway, and I always knew I’d never play for as long as Christine. After my official retirement, I moved back to Cairns, now a professional sports psychologist. I love being home, but it was missing something, or someone. Within the first month I put up every memento, gift or picture I had that reminds me of Chris, who Scout has also grown to love.
“I miss her too buddy. Maybe she should come visit us so she can see you huh?” I scratch her chin as she leans into my hand affectionately.
I spend the rest of the day and the next, reading and playing around on my violin. The doors and window are all shut to keep the rain from flying in but I’m so desperate to open them to feel some sort of relief from the sauna I’ve created.
It’s around 4pm on the 3rd day that the rain slows, and another few hours until fans begin to spin again and lights flicker on. I scramble for my aircon remote before rushing to plug in my phone, desperate to speak to someone other than my cat.
It takes a few minutes, the battery slowly whirring to life, but I can’t even swipe to put in my password before a rather excessive amount of notification begin to make their way through. There are messages from friends and family asking if I’m safe, others are simple social media notifications, but the majority seem to be made up by a certain, newly retired striker.
13 missed calls
58 messages
I can’t suppress the smile that slides onto my face and the red tint that warms my cheeks as I think about how worried she was. That’s what friends do right? Worry when you might get eaten up by a natural disaster.
And I quickly figure I should call her and let her know I have power again and am in fact not dead. And I do just that.
“YOU’RE OKAY. YOU’RE BACK.” I move the phone aware from my ear as she screams down the line, but I laugh none the less.
“I’m alive, nothing is damaged, the rain has stopped, everything is back in business.”
“I can’t wait to see you. Get your ass on the next plane I swear.”
“I don’t think there’ll be a plane on a route to Canada for at least a few days. The world hates us Sincy.” A groan I’ve grown familiar with sounds over the speaker, and I can picture her falling back dramatically in her chair.
“I promise as soon as I can I’ll be on that flight out of here. Scout will be chilling with my neighbours, and we’ll be chilling on the beach with some gin.”
“Good. First flight out, I expect you on it.”
~~~~~
The first flight route heading to Vancouver turns out to be 4 days after the cyclone passed. So far two of those days have gone and I’m trying to fill my time, Christine seemed to drop off everyone’s radar and that left me with very little to do.
I’m loading up The Sims 4 for the first time in months when a knock rattles against my door. While confused, not expecting anyone or anything, I sneak toward the door, peaking my head around the wall to get a glance of who it could be. That’s when I see a very familiar face, looking around in a stupor.
“Christine?” I stand in the doorway looking quite the mess with a dumbfound look on my face. My hair in a knotty bun, glasses resting crookedly on my nose, shirt 3 sizes too big (perhaps one of Christine’s I stole a few visits ago) and bike shorts. Anything more and I’d be dying from the heat.
“Surprise! No flights were leaving for a while but some were coming in, so I thought why not go to the ultimate vacation destination.” Despite what would be nearly a full 24-hours of travel, she looks rather adorable. Her own hoodie must be a few sizes bigger and her curls rest over her shoulders, a rare sight. Her headphones rest around her neck and her bags are almost toppling over behind her.
I shake off my surprise and start running, jumping into her arms and nearly tackle her to the ground.
“I can’t believe you’re here! What the fuck, oh my god, holy shit. There’s so much to show you, very little to do. I don’t have a spare room. I’ll sleep on the couch, take my room. Oh, let’s get your bags in, you’re probably exhausted.” I squeeze between her and the lattice work that makes the short hallway outside my door and grab her rather large duffle bag and suitcase.
I take them to my bedroom, which thankfully had been tidied up recently, and tuck them neatly in the corner. Her footsteps signal that she’s following me and I quickly wipe my sweaty palms on my shirt before turning toward her.
“It gets super hot so the aircon remote is on the bedside table, or you can open the window, but Scout likes to jump out of it sometimes. Speaking of, she’s here somewhere, you’ll hear her before you see her. Also free-range of like the kitchen and stuff. There’s an ensui-” Christine cuts my rambling off with a tap to the back of my knee with her foot. Said knee buckles and I fall forward, into her arms.
“What the fuck Sincy?”
“You’re rambling.”
“Sorry. It’s just the first time you’ve been here. In my house. In my hometown. Ever.”
“And I’m excited. I’m sorry for springing it on you, I don’t actually have to stay here I can get a hotel.”
“No! No I want you to stay here. It’s just I’m usually the one making the trip, I’m not a very good host.”
“You’ll be fine. I’m down for anything and everything. After a very long nap.”
~~~~~
I waited until a reasonable hour to wake Christine up the next day.
“What the fuck is this? Do you put tar on your toast?”
“You’re telling me, all the times you’ve visited Australia, even during the world cup, you’ve never tried Vegemite? Christine… come on.” I push the plate toward her.
“No. You can’t make me eat that.” She pushes it away.
“Please, just one bite. You’re staying with me you gotta try stuff. You’re on vacation, you’re trying new things.”
“If you even try to bring a shoe with beer near me, I’m hopping on the next flight out.”
“I promise a shoey is completely off limits. That shit is nasty. But I’m going to take you to a cricket game and snorkelling on the reef, and Harley’s Crocodile Farm. The point is I have a list. Now try the ‘mite Chris.” The plate slides back toward her and she hesitantly takes a bite. A pleasantly surprised look flashes across her face.
“I’ll give you the point. This is good.”
“Oh! Mary, Mary Fowler that is, is back  for Christmas. Do you want to have a beach day with her and her family? Play beach cricket and soccer?”
“For sure.”
“Oh make sure to have thongs. Your feet will thank me.”
“If you said that sentence to me 20 years ago, I possibly would have slapped you.” I giggle but make my way to grab togs and pack a beach bag.
When we arrive, the promised burning sand is what greets us, rather than the young Australian who I’ve grown somewhat close with. The sun beams down, in great comparison to the previous week, and I make sure to push more sunscreen into Christine’s hands.
“Dude how do you survive here.” A bead of sweat rolls down the side of her face and I just smile, slip my thongs off and lead the way to try and find the Fowlers.
When we do eventually find them, Christine is desperate to slip into the water, and I set up our towels beside Mary, who watches over her own family’s things as she soaks up the sun.
“In all my years of knowing you, and that is almost all my life, you’ve never been this happy. And you won’t even admit your feelings to the person who makes you this happy. You giggled when you called telling me she surprised you. Giggled Y/n.”
“I- I don’t know what to do Maz. I know I like her; I have for years. I just always figured it’d go away once I moved after retiring and seeing her significantly less but if anything, it’s worse.” I flop back against the towel covered sand and Mary joins me, resting a hand on my arm.
“Maybe you should just confess. I can’t say I know she likes you back, but the chances are high.” I glance toward the water and let a soft smile grace my lips as I watch Christine play with Louise and Ciara. Maybe confessing wouldn’t be such a terrible idea.
~~~~~
A few hours later, the sun is lower in the sky and the water laps at my feet as I retrieve the soccer ball. I throw it back into play and run along the sand. The ball ends up at my feet and I begin the run back to my team’s goal, I’m about to make a pass to Caoimhin when Christine makes a tackle and takes my feet out from underneath me.
I let out a scream and clutch my knee. The sand sticks to my skin as I writhe in pain, and I feel a hand gently touch my shoulder.
“Fuck fuck fuck it hurts.”
“Holy shit I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make a tackle. Oh god we need to call the ambulance.” Christine rolls me onto my back, and I scrunch my eyes in pain. She stands up to grab her phone when I stick my leg out and trip her, making her fall beside me.
“What the fuck!?.” I start to giggle as I watch Christine’s face morph from fear to shock.
“You little shit! You faked it?”
“Uhh yeah, you were playing dirty Sinclair.” I poke her in the side as I stand and offer her a hand. As she stands back up, I remember how much she towers over me and blush.
Not long after, Mary and her family head back home, and before the sun begins to set, I get some fish and chips for Chris and me to share. As I sit back on the sand, the sun begins dipping below the horizon, casting pinks and oranges across the sky. The light shines on Chris and for a moment I forget I’m staring. Her blue eyes are clouded by the golden hues but still as beautiful as they have always been. Her hair is wet from the salty water, curling as it dries.
I only stop when she bumps her shoulder against mine, holding a chip toward me expectantly.
“You’re staring.”
“Sorry.” The now familiar heat spreads over my cheeks as I tuck my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on them.
“What’s running through that pretty little head of yours?” I take a moment to contemplate if I should tell her the truth.
“I… I’ve just missed playing, especially with you. I haven’t felt anything close to how I felt on the pitch, and I was forced out because of a stupid ACL injury. It’s been so long.” She wraps an arm around me and pulls me into her side. My head falls to her shoulder and her’s falls on top of mine.
“You deserved a better ending.” We both reach for the chips, hands grazing against each other. I drop the chip and rest my hand on my lap, palm facing upward. Christine’s fingers trace the lines on my palm before slipping her fingers between mine and interlocking our hands.
Nothing is said as we watch the sun rest behind the water. The sound of waves crashing on the sand nearly lulls me to sleep but Christine slowly slips from beside me and stands up. I follow suit, grabbing the fish and chips and heading to the car.
“I’d say this was a rather successful first day. Wouldn’t you?” I ask as I sit on the edge of the bed, drying off my freshly washed hair.
It’s silent for a moment and I turn to look at the Canadian.
“Chris?” her vacant stare refocuses, and she smiles.
“Absolutely.” I smile back and stand up, about to head out to go to sleep.
“Wait.” I stop at the door and wait for her to continue.
“Do you want to sleep here? I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want. Or we can put like pillows between us or something. Or-” I run and jump onto the bed, rolling onto my side to face Christine.
“Thank you for coming. I’m excited to show you everything I love. Today is only one of many.”
“I’d do anything for you. And I was thinking… what if I made this stay a little more… permanent? Well not permanent maybe just extended. Or permanent if you want. Or neither at all.”
“Yes! Yes, yes absolutely 100% I want that definitely. Please stay.” I only now notice how close together we are. I can feel her breath against my cheek, her leg brushing against my own.
Her fingers brush against my forehead and cheek as she moves a piece of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. I inch closer, eyes flickering between her own eyes and her lips.
“Are you going to kiss me or do I have to kiss you.” Her lips ghost mine as she jokes, but I don’t allow myself to overthink it as I close the gap between us.
Her lips are as soft as expected, and sweet. I can feel her smile as she kisses me back and I wind an arm around her waist.
“I’ve wanted to do that for 10 years.” I whisper.
“Do not tell me I wasted 10 years of my life thinking you didn’t like me back.” I let out a rather pathetic laugh and my head falls forward, forehead resting against Christine’s.
“Well now is as good a time as any to make up for all the lost time.”
~~~~~
Our hands swing between us as I lead her down the esplanade. The bright rainbow lights of the ferris wheel that never left, reflect off every surface as we approach. The carriages lurch to a stop and we’re ushered on by the teenager at the counter.
“This is possibly the cheesiest thing you’ve done. If we stop at the top, I will start laughing.”
“No! Stop, it’s going to be cute, okay? And a little cliché.” I knock my foot against her’s as we stare out the window, looking out across the water and the mountains, in awe of the stars that twinkle above us.
As predicted, we come to a stop right at the top, and I smile as Christine starts laughing.
“I’d do anything to make you smile, including cheesy ass shit like this.” I slide across to her and she pulls me into her side.
“I love you.” I kiss each of her cheeks before kissing her lips.
“I’ll love you forever.”
“Is it odd I’m glad you retired? I just don’t know if this would have happened if you did.” She smiles and kisses me on the forehead, and we continue to watch the landscape as we make the decent.
@Y/N_Y/L
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@Y/N_Y/L I will love you until the end of time. 20 years of knowing you, 1 year of getting to let you know I love you. Chris, you’ll always be my number 1 @c_sinc12.
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dootznbootz · 4 months
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I don't think Greek Mythology retellings/adaptions/inspired/etc. are necessarily "evil"...but I DO think people REALLY need to understand that there's a huge difference between the actual mythology and certain media.
I feel like people have to basically do a "Fandom ___" to say the different versions. Like "PJO ___", "Hades game ___", "TSOA ___". For it to be understood that these depictions are DIFFERENT. I'm saying this as someone who grew up reading PJO and still has a soft spot for it. But as someone who really loves Greek Mythology as well, I sometimes get really SAD.
I'm going to use the comparison of Howl's Moving Castle with it's Book Vs. Movie. I enjoy both!!! But they are honestly very different. In the movie there is no "sister swap", Markle isn't a young teenager, Sophie doesn't throw weed killer at Howl, and many more moments. But I enjoy both because even though there are changes they still keep components that are ingrained into the characters!
In some Greek Myth retellings/adaptations/stories/etc., characters are...SO different from the source material. That's fine...Choose what you want with your story... But folks should know that the modern adaptations are NOT the source material!!!
It bothers me that a lot of these wonderful myths and stories are twisted up and seen so differently because of a modern version of them. You can have that character be "awful" or a certain way in your story. But I almost feel that as fans, it's not good to generalize them or see it as "This is the truth". People are hating the mythological figure when it's only in that interpretation they are like that.
In PJO, Ares is "Zeus' favorite", isn't a good dad, a misogynist, etc. The actual myths? One of his Epithets is LITERALLY "Feasted by Women", in the Iliad everybody basically bullies him with Zeus literally saying he hates him. He cries when he learns one of his sons is killed in the war. He literally kills someone about to rape his daughter. Ares isn't perfect but it makes me sad with how he's viewed and talked about when it's only in PJO he's like that. Same with Dionysus. Read the Bacchae, you'll love it.
In Lore Olympus, Apollo rapes Persephone (noticing the fact that modern takes on the myths add rapes where there never were hmmmmm) when he never did in any of the myths.
In TSOA, Thetis is cruel when in the Iliad, she is such a loving mother to Achilles. She grieved alongside her son over Patroclus. Also with Agamemnon. In Ipheginia at Aulis, Agamemnon is a MESS. He adored his children.
In Circe, Odysseus is viewed as a selfish man who ONLY hurts others and doesn't care about his family when that is LITERALLY his one consistent character trait. HE is actually the one who is the victim of rape. Circe was never raped.
Medusa is only a victim in Ovid's, a Roman man, works. Not in GREEK mythology. She was just a cool monster. Leave Perseus alone. Poseidon and Medusa actually had a consensual relationship in Greek Mythology!
These adaptations/retellings/inspired by/etc. whatever anybody wants to call them, are not the real myths! They may be similar in some ways but to just generalize them or hate the deity/mythological figure because of something they did in the new media feels fucked up!
You can enjoy these new stories. There's nothing wrong with that!!! But know they're not the real myths. Maybe even label it as "I hate ____'s version of ____". As that makes it clear what version you're talking about.
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hoeratius · 5 months
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okay, asking this question is maybe the dumbest i've ever felt bc it feels like there should be a straightforward, obvious answer here, but every time i've tried to look it up, i've found nothing but pages upon pages of what feels like people talking in circles and only serving to make me more confused in the end. since you're the most knowledgable person i follow when it comes to the Classics, i figured this might be a good place to ask and maybe get an actual answer? (that being said, it's fine if you don't want to/don't have the time to answer this! obviously!!)
where can i read about the older greek myths? as in pre-trojan war. mostly, i'm interested in theseus but also just pre-trojan war stories in general. i know not everything got the iliad/odyssey treatment and there's probably not any surviving text to point at in a lot of cases, but there must've been something. every time i try to look up where to read about the history of theseus, i'm being directed to a bunch of modern retellings, but google has gotten so bad as a search engine, i literally cannot find anything about the origins of this thing everybody's retelling
from what i understand, theseus was sort of everywhere sticking his nose in everything at all times, so i'm not asking for a comprehensive timeline of his whackass life and everything he ever appeared in or anything, but if you could point me in the direction of anything about him--actual plays or academic texts, anything like that--that's more credible than, like, a self-published, self-described "bold new reimagining" with a stock image of a dude in party city roman cosplay as the cover, it would be MUCH appreciated 😭
(again, sorry about how... basic this question is i guess lol? i'm very new to classics in general and still pretty ignorant about everything, so it's EXTREMELY likely that this is a very dumb question with a very obvious answer, but thank you regardless!)
Hello! What an exciting ask (and apologies for my excited and maybe incoherent answer)!
Since you seem to be most interested in Theseus, I’ll use him as an example but much of this can be applied to other Greek heroes/myths/stories more generally.
As you noted, few get the Iliad/Odyssey treatment. In fact, even Achilles and Odysseus don’t, considering the Iliad spans only 7 weeks or so, and the Odyssey misses out on Odysseus’s actions before and during the Trojan War, and after he came home – and he did a lot after he came home. So where to go to find all the other stories that happened?
Some things to keep in mind:
Writers assumed their audience was familiar with the hero’s greatest deeds already
The big boys – Achilles, Odysseus, Theseus, Perseus, Heracles, Oedipus – had their stories shared in many formats. Think of the Parthenon metopes, which show Theseus’s key deeds in sculpture, or vases, hymns, public performances, bedtime stories, etc. People would encounter these often enough that the outlines of these heroes’ stories were known to them from a young age.
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One of the Metopes of the Parthenon, showing (probably) Athena and Theseus.
As a result, ancient texts never show the entire story; they select the moment they want to tell and focus in on that. Hence the Iliad focuses on Achilles’s wrath, the Odyssey emphasises his homecoming, and the Argonautica tells the story of the Golden Fleece. Similarly, tragedies will choose a meaningful moment: not all of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra’s struggles, but his return home in the Agamemnon, or the events that lead directly to Pentheus’s dismemberment in the Bakchai.
So finding one text that will give you a useful overview will be hard!
These heroes are often also connected to so many other famous characters, that sometimes they show up as a side character in their stories, so it depends on which stories capture your interest most.
Pre-Homeric texts are few and far between
But this is not to say there aren’t pre-Trojan-War myths!
There are loads! Anything with Heracles or Theseus is pre-Iliadic, and others, like the house of Pelops, link more to the Trojan War but are also separate from it. Plus, there is Hesiod’s Theogony (roughly contemporary with Homer), which tells of the births of the gods and goes all the way back to the start of the universe.
The Ovid situation
Many Greek texts are lost, and we’ve only got allusions to this or that part of the myth in the existing fragments, etc. etc. So how do we still know so much about so many of these stories?
Enter my fave: Ovid.
Far later than Homer (1st century versus 8th century BC), but with access to all the Greek texts and them some, he wrote a lot of fairly comprehensive stories. These include the Heroides, letters written from the perspective of female characters trying to connect to their male lovers, with letter 10 coming from Ariadne to Theseus, and Metamorphoses 8 with parts of Theseus’s story.
If you’re looking for a high-level overview of what was what in ancient myth, starting with the Metamorphoses will give you all the big boys and many of the smaller ones.
Theseus specifically:
I must admit that Theseus is not my strong suit, but sources I’m familiar with that I would recommend:
Hippolytus, by Euripides and Phaedra by Seneca: these both tell of Theseus’s second wife Phaedra falling for his son Hippolytus and causing his death
Catullus 64: A lament from Ariadne after Theseus has abandoned her on Naxos
Metamorphoses 8, 12, by Ovid: Snippets of Theseus’s life, incl the Minotaur
Ones I’m not as familiar with but might be up your street:
Life of Theseus, Plutarch: a historian/scholar’s biography. He had them in pairs, where he compared the two; Theseus is linked to Romulus
The Argonautica, Apollonius Rhodus: Follows Jason in his quest for the Golden Fleece; Theseus is one of his heroes
Oedipus at Colonnus, Sophocles: apparently Theseus is a major side character here but I don’t remember!
There is also The King must Die by Mary Renault, a modern retelling from the ‘80s that blew me away. The only book set in ancient Greece I’ve ever read that doesn’t shy away from how alien their culture and values are to us today and doesn’t try to sugarcoat things.
And if you’re looking for more heroes: Wikipedia is your friend!
The Classics-related pages are pretty reliable, and they often mention the main sources per character.  
I hope this gets you started but please do hit me up with more questions, I always love diving into these things!
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