that-polyamorous-brat

[that-polyamorous-brat]

Hear Me Out: The Invasion of Queer Spaces Is THE Result of the Anti-Gatekeeping Mindset

Nobody wants to be invalidated. Nobody wants to feel like they don't belong. And together, when we avoid those things, we get it done. We get movements, we get rights.

Everyone else understands this. And everyone who is opposed to our very existence will do everything they can to pull us apart. (Re: Label Wars)

But to combat this, some of us have pulled together and welcomed everyone.

E. V. E. R. Y. O. N. E.

We let our guard down because we think that one accomplishment means everyone and everything has changed. We make a little progress and suddenly everyone has decided to change their views? Do we really think fetishizers, chasers, invaders, and "conversion" advocates aren't here anymore? They definitely are, but maybe they're not so vocal because we've allowed them to feel at ease. We aren't a "threat" anymore.

This anti-gatekeeping mindset that anyone, no matter what, should be allowed to use queer spaces and resources has already been abused. The Invasion of queer spaces by allocishet people is 100% a thing. It enables chasers to be welcomed in trans spaces, encourages coersion to be with men in lesbian spaces, and heaven forbid "correction" in ace/A-spec circles.

We need to pull together, yes, but we also need to push away those who are not truly a part of our community. I am of the opinion that a little gatekeeping would actually do our community good if we could manage to not attack each other in the process.

#equality #lgbtq #queer #mogai #gatekeeping #queer spaces #safety #lgbtq community

[that-polyamorous-brat]

I can't stop thinking about cats with pronoun preferences.

She/purr

She/fur

He/hiss

Stray/them

I just can't.

#cats #lgbtq #mogai #queer #pronouns #cant stop thinking about it

[that-polyamorous-brat]

Non-binary Lesbian, Trixic, and NBLW Identities

Sooo... there's some controversy around these.

Being a non-binary lesbian is considered invalid despite the fact that lesbian culture has historically embraced genderqueer identities. It's also a combination of two fairly common labels that most people understand, but femme-aligned non-binary people are supposed to go by something else apparently.

But, then trixic is also considered invalid because its very existence suggests that non-binary and genderqueer lesbians don't exist? Even if the non-binary person using this term does not consider their gender identity to be that exclusively femme. (On a side note, nobody ever knows what the hell this term means so I refuse to use it. I love and feel so at home with the flag, though.)

Personally, I as an afab individual, consider my attraction to women to be queer, so I like the idea of nblw for non-binary loving women. And this term seems to be a middle ground between the other two, right? Yeah, except for that little 'nb' for non-binary. That's just not... no. (And I'm very sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.)

I have seen nbylw used maybe once before? (Why not enbylw? I don't know.)

In conclusion, invalidity sucks, stop. We have so much more to worry about than how others describe themselves. And, just so we're clear, ALL forms of invalidity can be seriously depressing. If you've ever been told that it's a phase, you should 100% know better.

(Label collecters, queerbaiters, queer fetishizers, and legitimate community fakes are a totally different matter. Most of them, believe it or not, are not non-binary lesbians, though so, keep an open mind.)

We all have our place within the rainbow.

#equality #lgbtq #mogai #lesbian #wlw #enby #nonbinary #enbylw #enby lesbian #trixic #pride #inclusion #nbylw

[that-polyamorous-brat]

What is it with abled people who say that? When I think of bravery, I think of fighting battles. Girl, the only battle I'm ever fighting is pushing myself uphill.

btw ”woah you’re so brave for having to live with that. if i had to live with that i’d probably kms” is not the supportive allyship that you think it is

#ableism #allyship #uphill #wheelchair #disabled #disability #equality

[that-polyamorous-brat]

TW: swearing, BDSM, kink, and fetish discussion/education, mature topic

As a disabled, queer, AFAB person, my limits and boundaries aren't always because I don't like the idea of something. Sometimes I just can't do things because they will injure/hurt me (not at all in a good way). And no, it's not because I'm not a "real bottom" or "real woman" (don't even get me started on that one).

I can't be choked around my neck, for example, because of my breathing issues caused by tachycardia/fast heartrate (and if you're turning me on right, it's probably already way up there). Do you really want us to have to stop for 30min just so I can take my pills? "I didn't really know it was that bad!" Why? Subconscious prejudice? You didn't believe me because I'm femme-presenting, disabled, or what? (On that note there really needs to be a term for mansplaining but for abled-disabled dynamics.)

And as an AFAB person, no, I will not engage in chemical/food play around my vulva and vagina. Yeah, Tabasco sauce, cake, and ice cream sound great in theory, but making bread later with my vagina? No thanks!

"Well they did it!" (Hmm.. pressuring much?) Well I. don't. care. if others are doing it. I think defining your own limits and risks you're willing to take is great and results in the most positive experiences. But no one is the same, no one's limits are the same, and I am me, not fucking Queensnake (I'm not trying to shame her or her content, I actually really enjoy her work, but she definitely takes risks that I wouldn't.)

Anyways, don't judge people for their limits/boundaries, accept "no," and please never do anything you're not okay with because of pressure, bribery, etc.!

And wear knee pads if you have joint issues. Just some advice from a fellow crip. ❤ (...and other chronic pain if needed, and use sex furniture for comfort if desired.)

#mature #boundaries #sex education #no means no #disability #sexism #ableism #tw swearing

[that-polyamorous-brat]

Consent and Ableism

I think it goes without saying that you should not touch strangers without permission on purpose. However, this rule being completely ignored is a common experience among disabled people. Our mobility aids are just as much a part of us as our hair and clothes.

Just as you should not shove people out of your way, you should not shove someone's mobility aid out of your way. This is probably going to end in a bit of a personal rant, but just because I have wheels doesn't mean you should push me. Just because I am disabled doesn't mean you should assume that I won't understand "excuse me." And just because my wheelchair doesn't look like your able legs doesn't mean I can't (gladly!) get out of your way by myself when politely requested. And no, saying "excuse me" while pushing my wheelchair out of your way (unless I've allowed or offered you to do that) is not polite.

Tell all your friends to please remember:

We are disabled, not f-ing shopping carts.

#disability #disabled #ableism #consent #wheelchair #mobility aid #etiquette

[that-polyamorous-brat]

TW: swearing, sex-related discussion, OTC anatomy (calling sexual organs what doctor's call them; a.k.a. "on the chart.") Otherwise, a short trans-inclusive, sex education rant. ❤

Can we stop hiding AFAB people from important information about their bodies??

All my life I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't like vaginal penetration. Apparently, the distance between someone's clitoris and vaginal opening has a significant impact on vaginal pleasure. As it turns out, I and many others, have a distant clitoris that gives us "numb vaginas." It's not a medical issue, it's just anatomy.

BUT many cishet men and even those who have vulvas (albeit mostly with close-to-vag clits) will tell you otherwise and claim "it's all in your head" why you don't like it.** Everyone deserves pleasure? Like let us fucking know how to get it instead of gaslighting us. (Please and thank you.)

**Note: I will mention here that anatomy is indeed not the only or even the most common cause for why vaginal stimulation isn't always pleasurable. However, those reasons are often talked about and the first results on Google and WebMD.

P.S. If you want more info on this, I would look up something like "rule of thumb female orgasm." Lmao I hate gendered language.

#tw swearing #misogny #equality #gender #feminism #sex education #lgbtq #mogai