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softrozene · 3 years

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Helping Insecure Girlfriend

Anonymous requested: Thank you Roze! For a request I would be interested in some hc or scenarios (which ever is easier for you !) With Zoro, Law, and Ace who wants to help their insecure girlfriend. She keeps waking up from nightmares from her past abusive relationship and is convinced her current bf is going to leave her because she is too much to handle. Just some comfort and fluff please and I'm so sorry if that's a lot. Don't feel pressured to do it ! ♥️

So sorry for the lateness of this! I have been meaning to get it out for ages lol but I really do hope this brings you comfort! Thank you for your patience anon!

Ace, Law, Zoro x Female Reader

Warnings: Comfort fluff and angst- Briefly mentions of past abuse so please tread carefully. PTSD

*Just a general note but I am proud of anyone who has escaped/left an abusive relationship and I hope that you guys are in a good place. As for those who are not then please do get some help and know you are loved and deserve so much better. Anyway, stay safe and healthy!

Words: 1,450

Two things these three men would all have in common is noticing their partner’s nightmares immediately and being aware that their partner’s ex was rather abusive. It is how they deal with it that varies

Portgas D. Ace:

When he notices, this man is going to feel bad instantly

So many emotions go through him all at once- Worry, sadness, anger, fear, and of course just the overall need to protect you

He will wake you up and hold you, remind you that you are in a safe place

His worry is at large since you do not deserve to keep reliving that nightmare with your ex

However, when these nightmares become reoccurring and how you seem to be pushing him away, not wanting to burden him with the past you keep reliving

You personally feel awful about these stupid nightmares- Why do you keep getting them?

Especially, while you are in such a good and healthy relationship?!

It is just not fair

It feels like your brain is trying to self-sabotage your relationship and it is working

You do not want to keep telling Ace all about your ex and what he did to you

How you feel completely and utterly broken

How he deserves so much better than you

You do not want to keep telling him that but you also wish he realized it too

You are just damaged goods

Unlovable

This cycle goes on for not much longer because of how much Ace cares about you

He recognizes the signs of spiraling out of good mental health and he knows you need help asap

He will always reassure you too

He will make sure you know that he would never stop loving you over something you can’t control

With help from his friends and yours (they do not give up on you), they help you recognize that your ex is no longer in your life and can no longer hurt you physically, verbally, or emotionally

You have Ace and he is doing everything in his power to show you that you are loved, and he will tell you about his own self-doubts and how he thinks it is you that deserves better than him

Overall- This type of relationship and scenario- It would be rather challenging on both sides since you think he deserves better and vice versa. However, Ace would never ever, ever, dream of giving up on you. Especially when it is obvious you are suffering from a past toxic relationship and need all the help and love you can get in order to start thriving and living for yourself

As for what other things he would do to help remind you that he loves you is daily date nights

Whenever or whatever you want to do it is all for you

He is even more gentle and cuddly for you after your nightmare as he reminds you that you are safe and with him and he would never ever hurt you or leave you unless it was a mutual break-up

100000/10 best comfort and understanding man here

Trafalgar Law:

In a relationship with Law, I think he would be very big on trust so talking about each other’s past is a huge step for him but a necessary one in order for you both to be happy in the relationship because otherwise there may end up being a few white lies or the relationship will feel off the whole time

Either way, because of the way Law is- He is just huge on mutual trust

He would essentially know about your abusive ex and the terrible things they have done to you. In a way, he can relate to any emotional abuse and manipulation thanks to a certain someone in his own past

When Law realizes that you are having nightmares about your past relationship he would actually confront you about it within the first few days but only because he needs you to understand you can go to him and he more than willing to hear about them

He is also quick to see your insecurities- The small ways you doubt yourself in this relationship and it nearly kills him

Law is aware of how hard it is to change a person’s mind especially after a toxic person in your life has convinced you that you are nothing

He will be as understanding as you need and will help you through this

Though Law is the one who gets the most stressed and will neglect himself in order to make sure you will be okay as well as your relationship with him

So, it may add to your guilt, but he will reassure you that you are worth it

Ace is more likely to do affirmations with you (as in: I am worthy. I am safe. I deserve to be happy, etc) but I do think that Law is also serious about helping you mentally so he would definitely also be on board with coming up with affirmations with you

On nights that you have nightmares, or your insecurities are at a high, he will stay up with you (hold you or make you a warm drink) and it really is no problem for him, thanks to his insomnia

He is happy to bring a bit of comfort if possible

10000/10 sneaky boyfriend. He may or may not go visit your ex and it is either really creepy or a gift when your ex is suddenly a paranoid person

Roronoa Zoro:

Zoro is the one who refuses to bring up your past in general until he notices it affecting your sleep which ends up affecting your health

He is more complicated in this situation since he will not force you to talk to him, but he will be very grumpy if you do not lol

He needs you to know trust is important and he may not be the most patient, but he will try to show you he can be since he wants you to open up to him on your own terms

Zoro values privacy the most and he is aware that he is not… as sympathetic as he could be which is why Zoro is the one who does not ask or pry about your past until you are personally ready to share it with him

Now when the nightmares start Zoro notices when you get them, all the time, thanks to him being most of the time. He only gets three hours of sleep plus naps (4 am to 7 am) so he usually notices when you begin to stir and cry in your sleep

He is not stupid so he knows when it becomes frequent, that it is a problem

When it begins to affect you in your waking hours that is when he will be like “are you good?” and if you do not answer or you are vague he will give you that raised eyebrow look

Eventually, your insecurities also get too high and decide that he should know everything and it would be his decision to decide if you are too much trouble

After you come clean and he knows about your abusive ex and the terrible things he did that still affect you, it becomes clear to him

He will reassure you that he is nothing like your ex and he would rather die than hurt you

Zoro will ask you and rather seriously “do you want me to kill him?”

He will do it too if that is what you want

Anyway, now that he knows what the problem is he also takes it seriously

He notices you trying to self-sabotage your relationship with him, and he will not have it

He will battle you, with love of course, and make sure you know that he is not going anywhere. At all

He can handle helping you and he will stay as long as you need until you realize that you deserve all the healthy love you ever wanted

As for affirmations to help with your brain- I do not think he would personally do it since he naturally believes whatever he says about himself so he would probably do them for you without realizing it

For example, “You are going to get through this and realize you deserve the love I give you”

It is simply the truth for him so if he believes it so should you

Now for nightmares, he will wake you up now that he knows you are reliving your horrifying past and he will do whatever you need to do in order to put you back in a safe place mentally

40000/10 best strong rock boyfriend

#my writing #one piece x reader #portgas d ace x reader #ace x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #fanfiction #headcanons #one piece fanfiction #one piece headcanons #female reader #comfort #fluff

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limeblood-exe · 4 years

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A Singular, Bloody Mattress (part 2)

So much fluff, you guys, it’s tooth-rutting. And a lil bit of Raph angst, too because why not. Ok, but it’s also mainly fluff. Enjoy!

He can’t sleep. It’s three in the morning, and Raph lies completely awake, staring at the cracks in his bedroom ceiling.

Out of all of his brothers, Raph has no problem sleeping. Mikey might have the occasional bad dream or he might stay awake playing video games or doing art, but for the most part Mikey has taken to heart Raph’s lectures about needing to get a good amount of sleep each night. “It’s important for a growing, young turtle,” he had explained. However, he wishes that his other younger brothers would have taken that advice.

Donnie and Leo are Raph’s headaches when it comes to making sure all of his brothers are taking care of themselves. Donnie has an even worse habit of staying up too late, but it’s mostly because he gets so absorbed with a new project that time passes without his knowing. It’s common for Raph to find Donnie either passed out on his worktable in his lab, or stumbling into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. But while his younger brother does stay up late occasionally, he enjoys sleep probably the most out of any of them, so it’s easy for Raph to convince his brother to sleep (convincing, as in Raph mentions the time to Donnie, who replies with “Wow, would you look at that,” and then promptly sleeps for the next twelve hours).

And Leo just doesn’t sleep sometimes. Honestly, just even knowing the fact that Leo has insomnia was actually discovered from pure luck. Raph didn’t even know his brother was having problems with sleep until he accidentally came across him on his way to the bathroom just hanging out in the family room, binging some Jupiter Jim films.

He tried to talk to Leo about it, but every instance he brought it up his brother had an annoying ability of dodging the topic. Finally, with Raph having to resort to the “I’m gonna tell Splinter” card, he had admitted that sometimes he has issues falling asleep, but that it wasn’t anything to worry about, and he would let them know if it got worse. So Raph had agreed to let it go with that promise in mind. That didn’t stop him from staying up a couple of nights spying on his brother just to make sure the problem didn’t, in fact, get worse. He never saw Leo leave his room those nights, so he either must have gotten through his sleep drought or knew Raph was watching him and used his portals to secretly escape his big brother’s view.

He doesn’t know which one it was, to be honest.

And he feels he should have done more, Raph comes to realize, because this whole “not being able to sleep” thing is just awful. The stinging sensation in his eyes, the restlessness of both mind and body. He can’t understand how Leo would try to hide this instead of just asking them for help. He has no idea how long Leo might have been suffering from insomnia, but one night and already Raph feels like splitting his bed in half, despairing that sleep has slipped from his clutches.

But he's no fool, he knows the cause of why he is not currently sleeping.

It's because of the fact that his aforementioned brother is currently holed up in their infirmary.

No matter what he tries, Raph can’t stop thinking about what had happened just a couple days prior. They had come so close, too close, to losing their brother. Not just when they were cornered by their enemies; as soon as they got back home, it was a fight to keep their brother alive, restoring his lost blood with blood donations from Mikey, who argued that he wanted to do it, he wanted to feel helpful, and stitching together torn skin and shell.

He was fine, though. Damned lucky, their father had said, but he managed to pull through.

And yeah, they cried when he opened his eyes for the first time since they got back home, but that doesn’t matter. What mattered was that their team had not been reduced to three.

Leo is gonna be fine, things are heading back to normal; so how come Raph can't stop thinking about how useless he felt during the entire ordeal?

Sitting up abruptly, Raph decides that staring at the ceiling isn't gonna help him get any sleep.

He leaves his room quietly so as to not disturb any of his brothers, who desperately need the rest just as much as he does, and departs for the kitchen. He's thirsty, so it seems like a reasonable first destination.

He walks mindlessly, his mind swallowed by too many thoughts.

Water sounds nice, maybe that’s what I need. A glass of cool water, and I’ll head back to bed, Raph thought to himself.

Entering the room, he turns on the light, looking for the fridge hoping to find-

This is not the kitchen. An easy discovery, what with the lack of kitchen essentials and instead he sees humming machines, a curtain, an occupied bed-

Ah, he’s in the infirmary. Without thinking, his feet had unconsciously brought him here.

He immediately slaps the light switch off, worried he woke his brother from his needed rest. He hadn’t meant to come in here; he didn't want to be in here. Not right now. He’s supposed to be trying to keep his mind off things.

He can just go back, he didn’t hear his brother wake up; didn’t hear a groan or even a peep, so there would be no harm in him just walking away.

But he might as well check that Leo is asleep as he’s already here and all; he does have a track record of hiding any of his sleep issues.

Raph pads to the side of the bed, spotting his brother cocooned in a hill of blankets. The only parts of him he clearly can see are his head and his arm that sticks out, dangling over the edge of the bed. Raph lays his hand on Leo’s chest, feeling the rise and fall of his steady and constant breathing. Raph can't see them right now, but he's painfully aware of the large swath of bandages that cover his middle.

Content that his brother is indeed asleep, he grasps Leo's dangling arm (noting he has one of Donnie’s techy bracelets strapped to his wrist, most likely monitoring his vitals) in his gentle hold, and positions it back in his warm bundle. Tucking his brother in, he smiles softly before he makes his way to the kitchen to grab something to drink.

"Raph?" a soft voice mumbles before he even takes a single step, and he definitely did not give a little yell of surprise, no matter what Leo says.

"Leo! Sorry," Raph u-turns instantly and puts a hand on his brother's head, patting it gently like a parent would to a kid. "I didn’t wake you, did I?"

"You did," Leo gives a jaw-cracking yawn before he continues, talking into his pillow, Raph straining his ears to hear him, "but it’s fine. I feel like I’ve been asleep for too long anyway."

"That’s pretty normal, and you’re gonna have to get used to it. It’s going to be awhile before you’re back to normal, buddy," And the events of that night once again rush to the forefront of Raph's mind. He looks to the ground, unable to look his brother in the eye, afraid that Leo will see through his eyes and read his thoughts.

"Huh? What is it?" Leo looks more alert due to the seriousness his face had suddenly morphed to, struggling weakly in his blankets to lean up against his pillow.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Leo squints up at him with a disapproving look. Like he’s gonna believe that for a second.

“Now, why don’t I believe that? Are you lying to me, bro?”

"No-it’s just-I’m not lying to you,” Deflating under Leo’s sharp glare, Raph nervously rubs his hand together, gathering the courage to speak.

“…Back then, I couldn't do anything. I'm supposed to be the leader, Leo, and I did nothing." His face scrunches, and his hands clenching together in a show of anger. "And I'm… I'm sorry, Leo. I’m sorry that I couldn't protect you."

Raph would expect his brother to do many things after his revelation; make a joke to lighten the mood, ignore the apology altogether, saying something along the lines of “please don’t embarrass yourself by talking any longer”, etc. He did not expect for his brother to grab his wrist suddenly and pull him close to the edge of the bed, and with one large motion, wraps his arms around Raph’s neck. If he wasn’t too shocked, he would have admonished Leo for moving around so much, since he just got mortally wounded, but the hug feels so good at the moment that all he can do, all he wants to do, is hug his brother back.

“I don’t blame you Raph, you don’t have to ever apologize for something like this,” Leo comforts. His voice is gentle and kind and so unlike Leo’s usual carefree tone that Raph lays one of his hands on the back of Leo’s head checking for a fever.

Not finding one, he buries his face in his younger brother’s shoulder, and Raph has to choke down the sudden lump in his throat to softly mutter, “But I should’ve done, you know, more. I’m the eldest, it’s my job to protect you guys. And at that moment, I failed. And it’s not just that, I couldn’t come up with a plan. My mind felt so gooey and slow and I just-because of that I put you at serious risk, Leo. If you couldn’t-if you didn’t-”

“But I did. And stop putting all the blame on yourself,” Leo adds. “If you wanna play the blame-game, then I think I gotchu beat.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. We wouldn’t have even been in that situation in the first place had I never gotten hurt. I let my guard down, Raph, and I paid the price for it. And so did all of you.”

“That’s not fair, Leo. You couldn’t have known that those paper guys would have been any more dangerous than the ones we’ve already fought before,” Raph pulls apart their hug, going into his lecturing mode. “You can’t blame yourself for everything that happened.”

“But that’s what I’m saying. It was a sucky situation, so you can’t blame yourself as our leader when things go bad, because it’s not just on you. We’re a team, and we’ll fail together as a team.”

While bleak sounding, it sparks an understanding in Raph.

We’ll fail together as a team.

He understands where Leo is coming from. He always thought that the pressure of failing would be on his shoulders alone; he’s the leader, and a good leader takes responsibility. A good leader would know better than to lead their team to their deaths.

But a good leader would also know that you can’t win every fight. Raph doesn’t want to accept that as a possibility, he might never be able to, but he can know where he stands when it does.

He’s lost this argument, so Raph just slowly nods. He still feels like he could’ve done better, and he knows it might take awhile before he accepts what Leo had to say, but he feels relieved, the burden of feeling so alone lifted from his shoulders.

Raph, thickly says, "Thank you, Leo."

"Anytime, brother." Leo replies. As Raph rubs at his eyes, clearing away beading tears, Leo adds, "Now, pay up."

"What? What do you mean?" Raph asks, confused. Leo sticks out his quivering lips, his eyes pouting upwards. Leo raises his arms towards Raph, his hands making a grabby motion in the air.

"Carry me."

"What? No! Why would I do that?"

“Because I’m bored! I’ve been lying here for, what has it been, three days?”

“Just two, actually.”

“My point being! I need a change of scenery.”

“Uhh, but you’ve been sleeping for the past couple of days? How can the scenery bother you when you're not awake to see it. Besides, you’re still recovering.”

"Oh, come on! That's not fair, and you know it. I'm healing just fine," Leo doesn't give up and increases his efforts to be held, mimicking a petulant child demanding attention. "Please, Raphie, I don't like the infirmary."

"No."

"Pleaaaase-"

"Alright, fine!"

Leo laughs victoriously as Raph leans down to pick up his brother. Leo wraps his arms around Raph's broad neck, and his big brother puts his arms behind Leo's back and beneath his knees, making sure to do so around his blanket as well. He doesn’t want his brother getting cold, after all.

Straightening his back, Raph glares disapprovingly at Leo, who just smiles happily in return, snuggling his cheek against the dip between Raph's plastron and his neck.

"Where am I going exactly?"

"Anywhere is fine."

"Uh-huh."

Raph is convinced that Leo made a big fuss just to be held, but who is he to deny his brothers want they want. After all, it wasn’t just Raph that went through a tough ordeal. If Leo wants to be held, it's the least Raph can do.

With the choice being left to Raph, he decides that the family room is the perfect spot and makes his way there.

Leo begins to doze in his hold, snuggling close to the heat of his brother.

Why would he need a change of scenery if he was just gonna fall asleep anyway.

Raph doesn't have it in him to wake him back up, so he sits cross-legged on the floor as soon as he arrives and holds his breathing brother close.

This was not how Raph thought his night was gonna go, with Leo asleep in his lap and the night continuing to tick by. Content regardless, Raph rests his chin on top Leo's head, appreciating the living movements of his brother: his breaths, his sleepy snorts, his leg twitches, they're all proof that he's alive.

Being up so late and having the comfort of his younger sibling close, Raph feels himself starting to doze off as well, imagining the swell of sleep that would finally overcome him. Ready for the bliss of sleep to take him, the thundering of distant footsteps startles him to full alert mode. With the frantic, but familiar, steps coming closer Raph looks to see none other than Donnie rounding the doorway, whipping his head around in search of something. Spotting the two of them on the floor, Donnie rushes forward.

"Is Leo ok?!" Donnie asks.

Taken aback by the urgency in Donnie’s voice, he says, "Uhh, yeah. He’s fine.” Looking down at his dozing brother as if to confirm his own statement, he looks back to Donnie as Leo sleepily mutters into his chest. “He's sleeping right now, so if you could be quiet, Donald." Raph slightly scolds Donnie for his loud shout.

"Wha-excuse me!" Donnie, offended by his brother's admonishment, stares incredulously at his only older brother. "I just thought, you know, that something must've happened, Raphael, with my tech informing me that one of Leo's stats changed. I had gone to check on him when, to my surprise, he is nowhere to be found."

Oh. That would explain Donnie’s panic. The tech bracelet on Leo’s wrist was meant to monitor his well-being, so of course Donnie would have had any sort of change being directly messaged to his own wrist-band, alerting him if anything were to happen. That must have included his sleep cycle, and with Leo awake long enough to have a conversation with Raph, he was awake long enough for Donnie to be alerted.

"Oh, my bad... Sorry, Donnie, I didn't know."

Donnie breathes a deep sigh, the act calming himself and he regains a more collected composure.

"It's fine, I was just worried that he did something stupid again, like trying to use the bathroom on his own when he can't even stand properly." He takes in the sight of his two brothers cuddling on the floor together, fully registering what's before him. "Um, but might I ask what you two are doing?"

"I couldn't sleep, and I think Leo was getting bored of the infirmary." He slightly shrugs his shoulders. "So, here we are."

"Bored of the infirmary? Does he not understand the whole concept of 'I nearly died and I should take it easy?'" Donnie crosses his arms, "I swear, sometimes I wonder where his head can be. He be just as bad as Mikey sometimes-"

Donnie pauses, leering suspiciously at Raph.

"Wait, what did you mean you couldn't sleep?"

"It means that I couldn't sleep, Donnie." That was before his talk with Leo, and as much as he loves his heart-to-hearts with his brothers, he doesn't feel it in him to do one more for tonight. "And besides, that was way earlier. I'm better now."

His brother just mm-hm's to himself. Donnie then joins Raph on the floor, sitting next to his side with his legs sprawled out in front of him. A moment passes as Raph waits patiently for Donnie to speak first.

"Do you still want to talk about it? I'm up now, you might as well take advantage of having me all to yourself. Not many get the privilege of that, dear Raphael."

Raph gives a good natured eye-roll, but before he can give his own snarky response, someone beats him to the chase.

"Wow, conceited much?"

"Shut up. Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" Donnie asks at the same time Raph mumbles to himself, "Are you ever asleep?"

Leo slowly morphs his face into a smirk, then replies simply with a cheery "Nope."

He continues to say, "And how can I? You guys keep waking me up. For once I have the chance to get a full night's rest, and you guys are ruining it."

His brothers have no argument to counter him with, so Leo counts that as a small victory.

“Well, speaking of sleep, I’m gonna go back to bed now that I know Leo's not gonna crack his head open on the toilet or something,” Donnie stands, stretching his arms above his head. “What are you gonna do?”

“Me and Leo are good here,” Raph says.

“You’re gonna stay like that? On the floor? Call me crazy, but that doesn't sound very comfortable, Raph.”

“Yeah, I know. But we’re already here, sooo.”

Donnie gives a thoughtful hmm, hand to his chin in a contemplating manner. After sometime, he raises a pointed finger to the ceiling, eyes bright with newfound determination.

“You know what, I actually have a brilliant idea. Hang tight, I’ll be right back.”

Curious as to what Donnie has planned, Raph complies with Donnie's order. He watches the descending back of his brother and wonders just what he has gotten himself into tonight. He grows impatient when minutes tick by, and even Leo starts to huff in annoyance, the waiting anticipation keeping him up.

Ten minutes later, Donnie reappears with a sleepy Mikey in tow, both loaded with pillows and blankets, which are so stacked it's nearly blocking their view.

"You didn't have to wake him up, Donnie."

Mikey just shakes his head, setting down his load by Raph’s feet.

"It's fine, Raph, no biggie. Dee told me we were gonna have a sleepover in the family room," Mikey smiles through an obnoxious yawn, laying out the blankets (some, Raph notices, are from his own room) to form a giant pile on the floor. "And I thought, ‘Oh, man! We haven’t had one in so long!’ It sounded nice, especially after everything that’s happened."

Now that Mikey mentioned it, they haven’t done this for a long time. They’ve been so busy dealing with the whole mutant outbreak that sleepovers kind of took a back-burner to their list of priorities.

Raph, with Leo in his arms, mumbling something he can't quite make out, moves to stand a distance away, making space for Donnie and Mikey as they prepare the rest of the room.

Donnie and Mikey make quick work, busying themselves with preparing a blanket fort by using nearby objects to hold up the blankets, ranging from Splinter's recliner to using the projector as a tether for the fort's ceiling. And since this just so happens to be the genius and artist of the family, the fort they create is a mix of both their technical and artistic skills.

The fort, while not only being huge, would put most other blanket forts to shame in just style alone.

Mikey suspends numerous low-lit strings of light on the ceiling, giving the fort a warm glow while Donnie works to construct the cushions and blankets on the floor to maximize their comfort. Throwing in a couple of stuffed animals along with some glow sticks they found in Raph's room, their blanket fort is complete.

Donnie grabs one end of a blanket, acting as a curtain for the entryway, while Mikey grabs the other and simultaneously they pull them back to reveal the inside of their new masterpiece with a bow. Raph “aah’s” at their display, entranced with the sight.

Raph lays Leo in the middle of the fort, who sinks delightfully into the cottony bliss, exhaustion overtaking his body which has reached its limits for staying awake for so long. Mikey leaps into the fort and lands next to Leo, giving a mirthful shout as he immediately grabs one of the blankets covering his sleeping brother and bundles himself next to Leo, snuggling into his shoulder and wrapping his arms around one of his big brother’s.

“Be careful, Mikey,” Raph warns. Mikey would never intentionally hurt one of them, but Raph thinks it safe to at least warn his brother that Leo is still recovering from an injury.

“I know!"

Leo gives a little huff, turning his face towards Mikey and blowing a quick gust of air into his face. Mikey makes a face, grunting, "Ew, your breath stinks," while Leo replies with, "Some of us are trying to sleep, Miguel."

Mikey giggles into Leo's shoulder as he says, "Sorry," but he doesn't sound all that reproachful.

Raph is next to settle down, laying on Leo's other side, grabbing Donnie's wrist, who was distracted admiring his and Mikey’s handiwork, and pulling him down with him. Having lost his own snuggle buddy to Mikey, Donnie has become his next victim, squashed between Raph's massive arms. But he only gives minor complaints, so Raph doesn't feel all that bad.

The combination of soothing lights from the ceiling and the glow sticks and the cushions beneath them lull the turtles into a comfortable daze. Next to him, Raph can hear the sleeping forms of his youngest brothers, cuddled together with their limbs entangled.

"You know, next time you have problems with sleeping, you can always come to one of us. You always help us when we can't sleep; of course, we'd want to do the same for you," Donnie gently mentions. Patting Raph on the arm, he adds for good measure, "You're our big brother, but we can still help you."

We're a team.

Surrounded by the warmth of his family, knowing that everything has finally gone back to normal, Raph smiles.

"Yeah, I know, Donnie."

Donnie hums, accepting his answer, and in a couple of minutes his own breathes become slow and even, deep in sleep.

His brothers, all of them, are right here, safe and sound. Raph still might have self-doubts as a leader and as a brother, but for now, he'll let go of his troubles and join his brothers in the blissful land of slumber.

In no time at all, Raph feels the dregs of sleep consume his mind, falling asleep with a peaceful smiling gracing his lips.

#rottmnt #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt fanfic #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #so much fluff #some angst #my writing

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lewishamil10n · 4 years

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Fics are incredibme!! How about Season 5!Sam (where his and Dean's relationship was really rocky) getting de-aged to like 4 and Dean realizing how much his kid loves him and how much he loves sam. His big brother love getting reignited in a ways💗

Aww de-aged sammy would be so cute😭 4 or 5 years old, being the most adorable,curious little mop of brown hair

combining these two prompts to avoid repetition. the mental image you guys are giving me is making my heart melt ;-;

–

One day, Dean is going to take some time out of his busy Apocalypse-busting schedule, and hunt down every single witch in the continental US. Then he is going to kill them. Slowly, painfully. First, he’s going to put splinters under their fingernails, and then under their toenails, and then he’s going to pull their teeth out with rusty pliers, and then–

“Dee! I’m done!”

Dean shakes his head as if he can physically clear it of the violent thoughts, and then steps inside the motel bathroom to help Sam. It’s very weird, having to crouch down to talk to him; he barely comes up to Dean’s knee. Dean’s not entirely sure due to not having his own age as a frame of reference, but gun to his head, he’d put Sam at around four or five.

Fuck witches. He’s going to use the same rusty pliers to pull their nails out once he’s done with the teeth.

“Help me!” Sam says, tugging at Dean’s pants and drawing his attention once more. He looks down at his unbuttoned jeans in dismay, and Dean chuckles, kneeling so he can help Sam with the button and zipper. Little guy hadn’t gotten the hang of that till seven.

“Gotta wash your hands,” he reminds Sam once he’s done, and hoists Sam up so Sam can access the sink. He supervises the handwashing, and then carries Sam back into the motel room, setting him down on the bed. “You hungry?”

Sam nods, brown curls flying.

Dean laughs again, leaning down to push Sam’s hair out of his face and tuck it behind his ears. “What do you wanna have?” he asks.

Sam shrugs his bony little shoulders. He’s drowning in the t-shirt Dean’s put him in, fashioned by cutting off the sleeves of his smallest shirt. They’d gotten lucky with the pants; Dean had found them hanging to dry outside someone’s house and grabbed them, but unfortunately there hadn’t been any shirts.

“Gotta tell me something, Sammy,” Dean tells him. This part of Sam’s childhood he doesn’t miss at all, the picky eater phase that had taken Sam forever to grow out of it and was probably – definitely – a contributing factor to John’s graying hair.

“Can we have pizza?” Sam asks after a moment of deep thought. The way he frowns when he’s thinking has remained the same throughout the years, despite his age – brow furrowed, bottom lip sticking out, nose scrunched a little – and Dean feels his heart ache a little from the nostalgia.

“You want pizza?”

“Yeah!” Sam says.

“What do you want on it?” Dean asks, reaching for the motel phone so he can order. He can’t really remember if Sam had liked vegetables at age five, but somehow he doesn’t think so.

“Um,” Sam says. “Cheese.”

“Okay. And?”

“Just cheese,” Sam tells him.

“Pepperoni?” Dean asks.

Sam shakes his head, his hair coming loose from behind his ears again. “No! Jus’ cheese.”

“Okay, then.”

He puts the TV on for Sam as they wait for the pizza to arrive, and sits down next to him with the laptop. Cas is not responding to any calls or prayers, so it looks like Dean’s on his own for now, stuck with a toddler version of his brother and hoping and praying that it won’t be permanent. The witch is dead, though, so maybe it’ll wear off in a couple days. He hopes. Until then, he’s just gotta deal with it. He’s already raised Sam once, it can’t really be that hard to do it again, right?

Sam squeals with laughter at something on the TV, distracting Dean from his thoughts. He looks down to find Sam giggling, face pink, little teeth out on full display along with his dimples, and the sight squeezes something in him. He can’t remember the last time Sam laughed like that, even as an adult. Not even when he racks his brains. Sam snorts at his jokes, sometimes, but his smiles and laughter – rare to begin with – are almost non-existent now.

With a jolt Dean realizes he misses it.

It’s not just the looming Apocalypse, and Sam’s guilt over it, Dean thinks. Some of it has to be him, too, and their deteriorating relationship. He’s been hard on Sam – deservedly so, he thinks – but the kid’s beating himself up enough as it is, and Dean adding on to it probably doesn’t help at all.

And ever since Dean threw away the amulet… Sam hasn’t smiled, not once. The first couple of days he could barely look Dean in the eye. Not that Dean wanted to look at him, either, if he’s being honest, but the few times he’d managed to catch a glimpse of Sam’s face, his brother’s eyes had been wet. He knows Sam hasn’t been sleeping well, but it was especially bad after that day. More insomnia, more nightmares when sleep did come. And Dean in the other bed, lying awake too and pretending he’s asleep. God, how did it all go so wrong?

Some of his sadness must show on his face – Sammy stops laughing abruptly, and tugs on Dean’s jacket sleeve. “Dee?” he asks, concerned little voice. “Dee, wha’s wrong?”

Dean attempts a smile, running his hand through Sam’s hair before tucking it behind his ears in the vain hope it’ll stay there this time. “Nothing, kiddo,” he says, not sounding convincing even to himself. “I’m okay.”

“You look sad,” Sam points out. His hand is still on Dean’s arm, tiny and warm.

“I’m okay, really,” Dean reassures him. On a whim, he puts the laptop aside, and then he puts his arms around Sam’s body and lifts him into his lap. “Promise.”

“Okay,” Sam says, squirming a little until he’s comfortable. He settles with his head against Dean’s chest, face turned towards the TV where Tom and Jerry is playing on mute. “Dee?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a thing?”

“Sure, buddy.”

“Why’re you so big?”

Dean has been anticipating this. Sam’s been perceptive at any age, and Dean knows he’s been thinking about this one for a while. He’s only asking now because his brain has failed to come up with a solution. “Magic,” he tells Sam seriously. It’s the truth, after all. “And it’s not me that’s big, you’re just small.”

Sam accepts this answer easily, because he’s five and lives in the sort of world where magic is something cool that happens to Disney characters, and because he’ll blindly believe anything from Dean. “Where’s Daddy?” he asks next.

“He’s, um, away,” Dean says. He’s been anticipating this question too.

“Are you as big as him?”

“Almost,” Dean answers with a chuckle. John is still a superhero to Sam, and he’s not going to be the one to ruin it for him right now. He’s just a child. Let him be innocent to the world for as long as he can.

The pizza arrives. Sam eats half a slice before declaring he’s full, leaving the cheesy travesty for Dean to deal with. Dean goes through four slices anyway before he’s done, and then helps Sam wash his hands. They settle in bed afterwards, the TV on again, but this time Sam climbs into Dean’s lap off his own volition before Dean can even reach for the laptop.

“Can I sit here?” he asks – pointlessly, considering he’s already made himself comfortable.

Dean chuckles. “Sure you can, little guy.” He waits until Sam stops moving and then puts his arms loosely around him, unmuting the TV as he does so before dropping the controller in Sam’s lap.

Sam’s body is so tiny in Dean’s arms. Dean can feel every bone under the baby-soft skin, can feel every single inhale and exhale. Sam’s got his head against Dean’s chest again, hair tickling Dean’s chin a little, and his chubby little hands are both holding on to one of Dean’s hands. They’re so small that Dean could cover them both just by closing his fist.

Sam laughs at something on TV, but it’s lacking his previous energy. Dean looks down at him in concern, wondering if something’s wrong, if it’s because of the spell – but Sam’s just sleepy, eyelids drooping as he struggles to remain awake long enough to finish the cartoon. He’s got the fingers of one hand wrapped around Dean’s thumb, the other clutching at Dean’s index and middle fingers, and his head is growing progressively heavier against Dean’s chest.

Dean’s heart swells. He had no idea how much he’d missed Sam’s dependence on him until it was gone, but this, right now, a five-year-old Sam falling asleep in his lap? It makes him ache for his younger brother, which is strange considering he’s always been right here. Physically, at least – the distance between them has never been greater than it is now.

He raises his free hand, runs it through Sam’s hair and down his back. Sam lets out a tired but contented little sigh, eyes fluttering shut finally, and lets his body relax completely into Dean’s. Within a few seconds he’s sound asleep, little chest rising and falling with every breath, his tiny mouth slightly open.

It’s hard to believe, looking down at him, that this kid is going to grow up to endure so much suffering. Almost impossible to believe he could be capable of starting the Apocalypse. Right now he’s tiny enough to fit into Dean’s lap, and young enough to still look at the world with awe and wonder. But when he’s older he’s going to lose his family just because he wanted normal. He’s going to lose his girlfriend because of a demon deal that happened years before he was born. He’s going to lose his father, and his innocence, and then his life. And then he’s going to lose his brother, and then he’s going to lose himself.

He found his way back, though. He did. It’s important Dean remembers that. Sam’s trying, he really is. He’s not sleeping and he barely eats and Dean can’t remember the last time they just talked without it being about a case or the world ending, but he’s trying.

The Sammy in his lap mumbles something in his sleep. Dean pats his hair, strokes his round, soft cheek, and tries to swallow down the lump in his throat. He’s so innocent like this, curled up against Dean’s chest, trusting him to keep him safe from things he doesn’t even know exist just yet. And he’s going to grow up, and lose that sparkle in his eyes, and that smile is going to fade, and he’s going to realize that he’s not safe no matter what he does. That there’s been a target on his back since before he was born, that he’ll never be able to escape from the taint in his blood, that he’s going to be manipulated into ending the world and he’s not going to know it until he already has.

It’s hard to believe it’s this body Lucifer wants. Someone as sweet as the child sleeping in Dean’s arms cannot be Satan’s true vessel.

Sam’s head is resting in the exact spot the amulet used to. Suddenly, Dean has to bite his lip hard just to stop himself from crying, though there are already tears in his eyes. He threw it away, and he did it knowing Sam was watching him, and why? For what? Just on the word of some asshole angels who have been trying to manipulate them since the beginning? Was Sam’s heaven even real? Sam sure as hell didn’t look too happy in it, and it was supposed to be frickin’ heaven.

God, how did it come to this? His little brother is fading before his eyes, and there isn’t a thing he knows that can stop it. The dullness to his gaze, the restlessness of his fractured sleep, the loss of appetite… Sam is dying, right in front of Dean’s eyes. Maybe not physically, but there sure as hell isn’t a lot of life left in him, on the inside.

And Dean misses him. He misses him so fiercely it hurts, like he’s already gone. He’s never had to live without Sam in his life. Stanford doesn’t count, because he’d known Sam was happy and as safe as he could be. And even now, when he has Sam, it still feels like he doesn’t. Not just the kid sleeping in his arms, but the adult Sam, whose world revolves around his big brother even now when said brother won’t speak more than five words to him.

He needs to do better. He needs to be better, needs to stop pinning the Apocalypse on Sam over and over again when it’s clear that Sam’s got enough self-loathing to begin with. Not like the kid did it all on his own anyway. Wasn’t fair to act like it was just him, like he did it all single-handedly. And even if he had, God, he’s Dean’s little brother. He didn’t mean to, and he’s trying so damn hard to make up for it, and he’s losing himself even more in the process, just a damn shadow of who he used to be, and God, Dean needs to do better.

He can start by making Sam laugh, he thinks. Or at least smile. It’s too late for the amulet – that’s a regret he’s going to carry for the rest of his life, every time Sam looks at his chest and then away like he can’t bear to see it empty. Even if they can’t go back to what they used to be – Dean can try. He can make Sam smile, maybe make him laugh. Make sure he eats and sleeps, make sure he knows he doesn’t have to carry all this weight alone.

Make sure he knows he’s not alone, that he’s always going to have Dean. No matter what.

In a couple days this sweet, lovely child will be gone, and Dean’s going to have his grown version of Sam back. He’s going to buy him breakfast, that girly coffee he loves, and he’s going to make sure Sam eats every bite. Sing him to sleep later if he fucking has to, though he hopes it doesn’t come to that. And the next time anyone tries to blame Sam for the world ending, Dean’s going to rip their tongues out himself. Angel, demon, hunter, anyone, he doesn’t give a shit. Sam’s beating himself enough without the rest of the world – without Dean – lining up to take a swing too.

He’s going to do better, he swears it. Sammy’s his little brother, his, and there’s nothing that can change that. Not a single damn thing in the world or anywhere else, and this time, Dean swears he’s going to remember that.

#dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural #samdean #my writing #deaged sam #man it's harder than i thought it'd be to write baby sam #i had fun tho! he's so fucking cute ugh im gonna die #Anonymous

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miss-tc-nova · 4 years

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The Last Of The Real Ones - Noel Kreiss x Fem!Reader Pt 1

True to form, this is based off the Fall Out Boy song, which is what I was listening to when I played Lightning Returns. And yes, every chapter title is a lyric from the song. Can’t help that music is my muse.

~~~~~

Part 1: Too Good To Be True

Blinking against the light, I roll onto my back to stare up at the dingy ceiling. My eyes slip to the brunette snoozing away beside me and the guilt immediately comes crashing down, threatening to drown me.

I’m not the person he wants here but she’s not here. I don’t know exactly what drew me to Noel Kreiss to begin with, but as I travelled with him and Serah, a list began forming and only grew. However, knowing his end goal to be with his childhood friend again, I kept my feelings to myself, deciding that I’d be happy just helping him reach his dream. And then it all went to hell and Noel became a much darker person. It killed me inside to see him like that. I was willing to dig my own grave to make him happy again, even if it was me he’d never fall in love with, but I slipped up.

I was on my way to see Snow and had to pass through Luxerion. As always, Noel found me and then sniffed out my injury like a bloodhound. The man made me go to his home to have a look at the gash on my back. I caught him staring and I told myself it was just my imagination. But it happened a few more times and I wanted so badly to taste even just a kiss. Then my first mistake: “You know those urges are natural.” One thing led to another and I fell for my own desires. I did everything I could to assure mostly myself that I wasn’t looking for a relationship out of it; he was happy with that—every word was a blow to the heart.

Personally, I’d been convinced it was a one-time thing. I tried not to dwell on it; I didn’t need the emotional damage. But once I passed through the city again a few decades later, I had Noel’s hands at my hips and lips skimming along my neck, begging for another round. My lust for him had me whipped and these affairs became a regular thing. Even though he continued to instigate these encounters, I can’t help thinking of Yeul and the guilt gets me every time. But I just keep coming back.

I sit up and shove the hair from my face. Just as I step off the bed, Noel gives a soft moan that sets my heart aflutter. I peer over my shoulder to see his blue eyes focusing on me.

“Morning,” I hum, reaching for my underwear on the floor.

“Good morning.” He props himself up on an arm. “How did you sleep?”

I shrug, picking up the bra. “Not any better than usual. You?”

“Best night of sleep I’ve had in a long time.”

I can’t help laughing. “Then I must be doing something right.”

“And I’m not?” He chuckles.

Standing up, I pull on my pants. “Excuse me; my insomnia has nothing to do with what happened last night. Not everything is about you.”

“Yeah yeah.”His back turns to me and my eyes linger there longer than they should. “So where are you planning to go next?”

“Ah, I should go see Snow. It’s been a while since I checked on him.” The front of my vest zips to conceal my chest. Noel heaves an aggravated sigh. “You still mad at him? You know mankind would be at war with itself if he didn’t step in.” He glances back at me. “Yeah, I was at that meeting. Anyway, I’m just going to make sure the city’s doing alright.”

Pulling his shirt down, Noel turns back to me. “I’ll be surprised if it’s not run into the ground with that hot-head running it.”

“Be nice. He’s trying his best, just like you are.” My hooked blades holster up at my lower back. “Now, are you going to be a gentleman and walk me to my train or are you going to day dream about me all day?”

He gives me a cheeky grin. “Yes.”

“Pfft.”

I bid my friend goodbye, and the moment he’s out of sight, I can no longer smile. The guilt seeps across my brain and I hate myself, as always.

In Yusnaan, I stroll straight to the palace. As I climb the steps to the Augur’s Quarter, a flash of rose passes by me and I pause as she speaks.

“So you’re the Angel that everyone’s been praising.”

“Not like I chose the name,” I sneer, not looking back.

“No. I guess you didn’t, but what’s the use of an Angel when there’s already a Savior.”

“No idea. Why don’t you ask God when the world ends.”

“Sounds like more trouble than it’s worth if you ask me. He’s probably lying to you anyway.”

With shock and a bit of wrath, I turn on the child, but she’s gone. I’d heard of her, but hadn’t encountered her before. Everyone’s mentioned how troublesome she is and after I heard that she’d given Noel that Oracle Drive, I wanted to tear into her.

I let the incident slide and continue my trek to see Snow. A breath of awe leaves me when I find a pillar of ice in the midst of the ballroom. I know that Snow had been struggling lately, but this is bad.

“Let me see him,” I demand of the guards to the throne room.

“No can do, ma’am. Patron’s orders.”

“The Patron will see me or you’ll see the bottom of my boots.”

They raise their guns and my hands move to my weapons, but the door behind them opens. The blonde I seek pokes his head out.

“What’s all the noise out here?” He spots me. “Oh, you guys can let her in. Trust me. Don’t wanna get in her way.”

“Uh…Yes sir.” The men drop their weapons and salute.

I stride past them, arms folding. “Good choice,” I hum as the doors close behind me.

“Well if I didn’t accept your visit I would’ve lost two decent men,” Snow chuckles. “So what brings you to Yusnaan? Slay another monster you’re trying to piece out?” I can see the weariness plain on his face.

“Not this time. Just dropping by to check on our almighty hero.”

He scratches at the back of his head. “Well the hero’s ‘bout ready to retire.”

I let the snarky attitude fall. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” He gives a shaky laugh that agitates the gloominess in me that no-doubt everyone shares. “Did you hear? The Savior’s finally shown herself.”

I feel like he’s struck me. “She’s come back?” My brain instantly goes to Noel and his prophecy.

“Yeah. Ruined my party the other day.”

I try to play off my anxieties. “Is that what all that ice is about? And here I thought you were just redecorating.”

“No. She’s really back and she’s collecting souls to save.”

“And what do you think?”

He scratches at the back of his head. “I think she’s the only one who can really save us?”

“So you’ll be giving her your soul?”

To my dismay, he shakes his head. “I don’t think I have time. By the time she finds me, that Chaos infusion will be too big. There won’t be any soul to save.”

Snow has always been the hero we didn’t deserve. No matter what life threw at him, he moved forward, always protecting people. Seeing him like this, broken and tired, it kills me inside. There’s nothing I can do for him now, not without jeopardizing everything. All I can do is pray that Lightning will save him. And even though Noel is determined to make his prophecy come true, I hope she can save him too. As long as she does her job, I can entrust my friends to her.

“You truly are a hero, Snow.”

He shows off his teeth. “I try.”

#noel kreiss #noel kreiss x reader #lightning returns #lightning returns final fantasy 13 #lightning returns final fantasy xiii #ff noel #ff noel kreiss #ffxiii noel #ff13 noel #ff13 noel kreiss #ffxiii noel kreiss #ffxiii-2 #ffxiii-2 noel #ff13-2 #ff13-2 noel #fem!reader

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noahstm · 4 years

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( maxence danet fauvel. twenty-three. cis male. three siblings. ) - have you seen NOAH GOTHEL walking around auradon university ? i hear a lot of people talking about how the JUNIOR is taking ECOLOGY which makes sense because of how + OUTGOING they are. they come across very - NAIVE too , which makes sense as the ADOPTED SECOND child of MOTHER GOTHEL. when i see them , i think of RIPS SEWN NEATLY SHUT, BIRDS FLYING AWAY IN THE DISTANCE, THE WARMTH OF FRESHLY BAKED BREAD, CONSTANT TERROR THAT YOU’RE UNRAVELLING , and the most interesting thing about them is [ REDACTED ] , but you didn’t hear that from me.

heyo, its rose, and here’s muse number TWO. this intro is gonna be more In Depth bc i have absolutely Nothing on his blog rn. that’s also because… Well. i’d like to plot a whole lot with noah first bc just based around his character he is going to be extremely influenced by the people around him. you’ll see what i mean when i Go In.

basics.

name. noah gothel age. 23 dob. september 3, 1997 pob. the isle gender + pronouns. cis male + he/him sexuality. bi bi bi (all my muses are bi unless i say otherwise) height. six foot two. weight. 160lbs. (he’s just like a tall, skinny tree). distinguishing features. height, messy hair, sweet smile, raccoon eyes,

background.

SO. noah was born on the isle to some lower level grunts and was sold to a thief’s ring for fifty dollars when he was six. hold on there’s a lot more trauma to go.

besides being fucking six, he was the worst thief the guild had ever had, and they were thisclose to getting rid of him when mother gothel found him and offered to take him off their hands. she’s told noah again and again this was out of the goodness of her heart, but it… really wasn’t.

she basically saw this little sad sweet boy and thought “sweet!!!!! free child labor!!!!!!”

ever since he moved in, mother gothel had him doing chores. and noah did this happily, because after being abandoned once and told he was useless every day by the guild, he was happy to be helpful. plus, as gothel was so eager to remind him, he should be grateful for all she’d done for him. and he was, he really was.

noah never really properly enrolled in school. sure, when he could, he loved to read his siblings’ books or anything else he could find, but gothel told noah she needed him at home. he cooked, he cleaned, he did errands, he did essentially everything gothel asked of him.

the world outside of their home was, indeed, dangerous, as gothel loved to remind him. besides doing errands once a week, noah really never left the house.

and then (and this is a massive wc) noah saw Them. probably while running errands one day, but noah saw a kid his age, the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, and convinced himself that that was his true love. he mentioned it to his mother once, and she completely shut it down, so he didn’t mention it again. but still, he Yearned.

in fact it’s very likely he never really spoke to them at all sigh. but he was still convinced that they were his one true love. he probably left them like, little flowers and stuff, whatever he could find. real secret admirer type shit.

and then, when he heard his One True Love would be leaving for aurau, he was torn. because he didn’t want to leave his mother and the world he knew, but also… he hadn’t yet told his one true love how he felt. so, he applied without telling his mother. also like, now that he had a chance to leave the isle, part of him really wanted to take it.

he tried to sneak out without her noticing, but it didn’t work. won’t get into specifics, but ofc gothel was upset and tried to manipulate and gaslight the shit out of him and then noah pushed her, forgetting his own strength, and she fell to the floor and he ran away and he still thinks about that every night because he feels awful.

and then, of course, he gets to auradon and his One True Love, who is almost definitely and rightly creeped the fuck out that this guy they barely know followed them all the way here, and he realizes he’s fucked up. they don’t want him, and he sees himself as they see him and it hurts. he’s scared them. he’s somehow become a monster.

but he didn’t leave, because… because he knew if he returned to the isle, he’d never be able to leave the house again.

plus, he… he kind of likes auradon. there’s fresh fruit and beautiful parks, stores where they sell fresh flowers and warm bread. and school is hard, it’s insanely hard, but he likes it, anyways. he probably has a tutor (another wc) who helps him through it.

tbh tho he’s probably like. just started leaving campus. he has highkey agoraphobia and if he ever thinks he’s gotten lost he has a panic attack.

that’s another reason he hasn’t really left campus the past couple years; his mental health is in the garbage. he did start seeing a therapist first year, but he’s so eager to please that he was basically lying to them nonstop until recently.

he also has crazy insomnia, is known to take naps at random spots around campus to make up for his lack of sleep; has psychosomatic headaches and stomachaches; doesn’t like to express emotions besides happiness period; has regular panic attacks; has a favorite bathroom stall to cry in. he’s goin through it constantly and thinks about going back to the isle every day.

BUT he’s finally putting himself out there, actively trying to meet people and make friends. we love growth.

also he found a cat that he named polkadot and he doesn’t want to abandon him

besides all of that, a lot of him and his past is really down to the plotting bc like…. he really is a chronic people pleaser, not to mention extremely naive and gullible. so how people have interacted with him is really going to affect how he turns out. how someone as sweet as him managed to survive the isle should be a mystery, but it isn’t; he survived because he was put through his own hell to keep him that way.

wanted connections.

“””””one true love”””””” just pls. pls. any gender at all they just gotta be a vk around his age.

manipulator. someone play this fool like a fucking violin, if you even have the gall to lie to his puppy dog eyes.

tutor. pls…… he needs……. all the help he can get…….

protector. someone who looks at this gullible sweetheart and like. just wants what’s best for him at all costs.

bad influence. now that he’s finally trying to have a social life there’s gotta be SOMEONE who wants to bring him to the dark side

im so fucking open with noah give me everything literally everything he needs friends

#aurauintro #fuck u ready for the tws here we go #human trafficking tw #child abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #emotional manipulation tw #stalking tw #???????? idk if it counts as stalking but Uh its not kosher #panic attack mention tw #ptsd tw #also just realized i used the wrong to in the graphic but yk what fuck it

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ebonydusk · 4 years

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Things that were, things that are, and things that may be...

I’ll warn you right now this post might get rather long, so I’ll be sure to put most of it under the line. And also warn that this post contains very personal talk about severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, abortion and suicide.

I’ve made various posts over time on this hellsite. I call it that cause...it really can be at times. But it’s also a place I can vent and put my thoughts out into the world, even if I know no one will notice or will really pay attention to it. This one though, this one is probably the most personal.

I’ll start off by explaining I’ve suffered from depression the majority of my life. I can’t possibly tell you how or when it truly started, but I can recognize now that it was there since I was young. It went hand in hand with my growing anxiety that was born of being isolated and over protected and sheltered in a small town with small minds. It’s possible it all came from the fact I was molested as a child. Up till I was at least ten. Which is the last time I let him come near me. My grandfather was a ‘war hero’. A ‘pillar of the small community’. A ‘good man and a good father’. A ‘wonderful husband’. But he also didn’t keep his hands to himself. And I never told anyone. Not my mom. Not my dad. Not my sweet grandmother. No one. They still don’t know. But my therapists and my husband and closests friends now do. I’m not as ashamed of it anymore. I realized only recently I shouldn’t be, it wasn’t my fault. And I’m not the one who should have ever felt such shame and guilt.

But keeping that secret since I was so little and never dealing with it left it’s mark on my small mind. A mark that festered and grew into fear and anxiety and self hatred.

Then I realized I was into girls. I felt...out of place. I wasn’t really shamed of that per se. But it WAS a small town. I got picked on by those that knew. Those that guessed. And those that just didn’t like how quiet I was. I was the ��girl to talk to if if you wanted to ‘experiment’” to most of the girls in school. I mostly went along with it cause...how exactly did you say no to some of the most popular girls in school and not end up the target of some serious Mean Girl shit? Right? So I started my experimenting early. My girlfriend at the time got jealous easy and she wasn’t happy about none of it...but she was also closeted and afraid of people finding out. There was a point she became a source of bullying just to throw people off. I grew cautious of telling people. I didn’t want to be targeted anymore. I didn’t want to be used. I didn’t want to be looked at as a freak. Another secret I had to keep. Another thing I had to hide. I’m more open about it now. I still haven’t pin pointed what I am myself. And that’s ok. It really is. FOr everyone who’s unsure it’s ok. No matter your age or how long you’ve had to figure it out.

I met my husband in high school. He was a bright point in those times for me. (And a dark one too, it was high school after all. Drama.) We were on and off more than once. Him being a hormonal guy and me being the idiot that kept forgiving him when he’d come crying back to me when his attempt to move on was rejected harshly. (he’s a wonderful man but he can still act like a teenager sometimes.)

And yes, we did get married. Which leads me to another stressful point in my life. I was left on my own shortly after our marriage. My husband practically volunteered to go be sent overseas. He had to ‘prove himself’. He had to ‘get away’. And so he left. We weren’t prepared. I certainly wasn’t. For nearly a whole year I was left on my own. In a tiny apartment. At first I was ok...until both cars broke down. I had no ride and I was too scared and anxious to ask for help. Cause the one time I did I got guilt tripped about being a burden to my husband by someone he worked with giving me a ride. and the manager of the apartment was a ‘military hater’. So she wasn’t happy about us. So I felt trapped. Alone. Scared. Isolated. And I gained 100+ pounds from ordering out cause I had no way to leave. It was dark time and I was a mess and the apartment went to shit cause of it too. It was my first mental break. I didn’t recognize it then. I do now though. When my husband returned it was to a barely kept together apartment and a wife that was suddenly overweight and mentally unsound. It was a stressful time. I tried to get help...but they did nothing but throw medication at me that didn’t work.

One of the many reasons I don’t fully trust doctors.

Fast forwarding by a lot, skipping over quite a few little things that went on that probably had some affect on me. But we’re gonna go with big things for now. We’re in alabama now. I need a job. Jody helps me get one at a bowling alley on base. It’s my first job after FIVE YEARS of me trying and searching with little luck. The place was ok at first. But things went downhill fast. The promised hours were not what I got. The manager ran two buildings and the one I was at was the one she hated the most. (She admitted this often.) She micromanged everything. Talked down to everyone. Expected more than was could be given.

I was doing the job of 10 other people at that place. And for not enough hours and during the BUSIEST times of the week. The weekends. Most people will scoff at that. “Only the weekends? Pffft! You wimp! You child! That’s nothing!” Yeah. Maybe it is. But those three days of work? They were awful. They were draining and it got to the point I would actually cry before having to go back cause it was so bad. I hated it. But I kept trying cause I felt guilty. I felt weak. And I didn’t want to disappoint my husband who HELPED me get the job. During all this stress I found out I was pregnant. (this part is very upsetting for me and might be for others too. I apologize to anyone who is still reading this.) I didn’t know how to feel when I looked at that stupid pee stick. I was dumbfounded. I told my husband and...his reaction broke my heart. He panicked. Badly. He had to be sure. We went to a doctor. They confirmed. Their ‘Congratulations’ hurt me. It cut too deep. Cause I knew what my husband wanted to do. He wasn’t ready and he was panicking with every day.

He had me convinced we couldn’t do it. I knew it was bull. I knew it wasn’t true. The military would have paid him MORE to have the baby. I knew it. THey increase pay for such things. But I didn’t know how to fight him on it. I didn’t want him to hate me. I didn’t want him to regret or resent me. So...I went along. I agreed.

I know I told some people that it was done cause it was affecting my health. I lied. I felt too ashamed to tell the truth. I didn’t want to say “we got rid of it cause we weren’t ready”. Cause that wasn’t all true. HE wasn’t ready. I was more than so. I always wanted kids. At least one. But he...

He once told me “If it happens then it happens and we’ll deal”...that was clearly not the case. The abortion broke me. Both mentally and emotionally and physically. I hurt. So much. I still have nightmares at times. Not as often anymore thankfully. But back then it was almost every night afterwards. I...I went back to work. I had to. What else could I do? But not long after returning I just couldn’t anymore. I saw a therapist and he was kind. Understanding. I wasn’t used to that from doctors in the military. He helped some. But it was a temporary thing. Not a full time therapist. But even with his help I could stick it. I had to get away from that job and I needed time.

So I quit...And I felt ashamed and guilty cause I was handed that job on a silver platter and I couldn’t stick to it. I did for 4 years but I still felt horrible.

I stopped seeing that doctor. I stopped taking my meds. I just...tried to move on on my own. I tried to find other things to do. I had my friends online and they helped a lot. I disappeared into my writing. I distracted myself for a long, long time. Then things started going downhill ‘last year’, of 2019. Money getting tighter. Friends getting busy. Some of my favorite places to hang out online, RP forums mostly, were slowing or dying and shutting down. Some of the people I called friends weren’t talking to me anymore. I knew some were just busy and dealing with their own lives but it still felt painful and I felt alone again. Even with a house of three dogs, a roommate, a husband...I felt unwanted. Unloved. Useless. worthless. Pitiful. Shameful. Painful. I couldn’t sleep right. I was staying up for DAYS straight cause of my nightmares and insomnia and my brain just not turning off. I barely ate. My husband had started doing new better work but also college classes and had NO TIME. No time to talk. No time to sit with me anymore. No time. And I knew he needed space to work. I understood that. I wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t that he didn’t care he was just too busy to focus on anything but. Yet it still hurt. I was alone. I felt hollow and full of nothing but darkness at the same time. As dramatic as that sounds. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to not be a burden. I didn’t want the people I knew to feel they had to bother with me anymore. They wouldn’t need to worry or care or bother checking on me anymore. No more emotional mess that is me. No more mother hen monster fussing. No more pestering to hang out. No more.

I had a plan. I had a method. I had a place. All I needed was to wait for my husband to leave in the morning. Make sure the roommate was still sleeping in like always. And I’d take care of it all. I’d stop being a pest, a burden, a mess, a black mark on the lives of those I knew. I’d stop being a disappointment, a failure, a weakling, a pathetic excuse of life.

But one night...I realized those thoughts were wrong. just a moment. Just a spark of a thought. Through the dark fog that dominated my mind. And I sat down and talked to my husband. I told him what was wrong. I told him what I had planned to do. And he took me to someone as soon as possible. They sent me to a hospital (by the way 16 hours waiting in a hospital room is AWFUL and hospitals should be ashamed). And THEY sent me to a Behavioral Health Facility. A nut house. Yeah. BHF is just the nice way to name it. I was there for three days. It seemed to help. I calmed down. I discovered I had diabetes while there too. I continued to seek treatment. I got my therapist. I got my psychiatrist. I have help now. Continuous help. Consistent help. And I’ve stayed on my meds this time. All this started in May 2019. I went into the BHF on May 10, 2019 and I’ve done my best to stick with everything. I’ve realized a lot about myself and I’m working on a lot of things. I’m hoping to keep getting better. There are a lot of people that helped along the way. People that kept me from doing something I’d regret sooner. Some that helped me more than they could ever realize and I wish I still talked to them. But I know they’ve had life keep them down. I want to thank them right now for being there for me. Misty, Tahki, Jessi, Tana, Fishy, Oobi, Verg, Aru, Naan, that one person who kept answering my depressing blogs and cheering me up ( I’m so sorry I can’t remember your name at this time I feel horrid), There are so many others...I want to thank you all. I’d @ you but I don’t want to disturb you with this long ass mess. I love you guys. Always will. I’m sorry for not talking to any of you more. But know I’m still here. And I’m still thinking of you. Always.

#personal #long post #depression #anxiety #suicide mention #new year #Abortion #mental health

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ignis-sassentia · 6 years

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FFXV Headcanons: Chocobro Badbrains

I’ve seen a lot of fics and drabbles about Prompto’s anxiety, but I feel like he’s not the only one who deals with some neuroatypical issues. So, some headcanons about all of the bros’ bad brains and how they deal with it, with hints of OT4. (This got really, really long; fair warning.)

Noctis

Definitely struggles with depression

Occasional existential crises about who he is beyond being the Prince of Lucis, since that took priority during most of his childhood and the development of his sense of self

Generally handles his issues by sleeping until he feels better

Noct seriously hates admitting he’s depressed or talking about it

Sometimes he asks Gladio for extra training to distract himself, when he has more energy than normal

Gladio always knows exactly why Noct’s asking and tries to sit him down for a talk instead

Noctis glares until Gladio gives in

On very rare occasions, when things are especially bad, he’ll just sit beside Ignis and rest his head on Ignis’ shoulder with his eyes closed

Ignis always knows what this means and will sit perfectly still until Noct decides he can move again, then makes a point of cooking one of Noct’s favorites for dinner

Not nearly as good at hiding it as he thinks he is and it takes the other bros a while to realize that babying him and doting on him does more harm than good

Which leads to a couple of awkward moments in high school, when Noct runs off to some secret hiding place in Insomnia to just get away from his friends suffocating him and everyone freaks out

Prompto was the one who found him first and just crawled into the bushes to sit with him in silence for a while, though it took all his self-control not to freak out when Noct started crying

They wound up hiding out together and talking about their various issues for hours, until it started raining and they slunk back to Noct’s apartment

Where Ignis and Gladio were frantically organizing a search party with half the Crownsguard and a handful of Glaives because Noct had never disappeared so completely and for so long before

Noct sheepishly apologized and was swept up into a huge hug with Ignis and Gladio squeezing him half to death

He slept a full twenty-four hours after that

Prompto

Generalized anxiety is his unfortunate jam

He’s anxious about everything all the time but has learned to cope with it by being unbelievably optimistic in the hopes that someday he’ll believe his own cheer

Also struggles with self-harming tendencies, but not necessarily the super-obvious ones

For example, he doesn’t cut or anything, but will sometimes scratch gently at his wrist, and often uses food as a subtle punishment for himself when things get particularly bad

Ignis is the first one to notice that Prompto often either denies himself food or gorges on stuff he doesn’t normally like

When he tries to gently probe for information, Prompto initially tries to brush it off

But he finally admits to it when Ignis catches him trying to feed green curry to his chocobo after a couple of particularly awful battles

After that, Ignis makes a point of sitting down with him and talking any time he notices Prompto attempting to punish himself

Physical contact helps ground and calm him most of the time, and once he trusts the boys, he’ll hold hands or snuggle up as often as possible, especially when something’s piquing his anxiety

Ignis

Ignis is the master of hiding his own anxieties and mental issues, for better or worse

He’s the type to completely bury everything he sees as problematic or inconvenient under his duties and responsibilities and literally working himself so hard he has no room to dwell on them

Seriously, this man puts everyone else’s wellbeing so much higher than his own, he’ll literally be cuddling Prompto and cooking Noct’s favorite foods and reading aloud to Gladio all while trying to stave off his own panic attack

Of course, when the bad brain hits, it hits hard

He has a mix mild generalized anxiety, OCD, and hyper-responsibility, so he takes everything personally even when it’s not his fault

So when things go wrong, he winds up secretly freaking out and beating himself up for a long time and doesn’t really know how to talk about it with the others because he feels like he should be able to handle it on his own

He winds up chewing his nails and cuticles all to shit as both a part of the OCD and as a shitty coping mechanism, which he hides and tries to stop by wearing gloves

It doesn’t always work and he’s ruined several pairs of good gloves by unconsciously chewing or picking at them when he’s freaking out

Gladio’s the only one who saw Ignis’ issues before they became a near-constant presence after Altissia, and he always tries to help Iggy calm down however he can

Cooking generally helps, but when he spirals, Ignis’ hands tend to shake and he can’t hold steady enough to make the pretty knife cuts he prides himself on, which only makes things worse

When it gets that bad, Gladio will come up behind him, gently hold his hands to keep them from shaking as he cooks, and kiss Ignis’ throat and cheeks over and over until he can breathe easier

Ignis is also a master of silently crying himself to sleep when the world gets too much

He just really can’t stand the thought of burdening anyone else with his own issues

Gladiolus

Gladio’s the kind of guy who staunchly denies he has a problem until someone shoves it in his face with undeniable proof

He has some anger management/emotional repression issues to begin with and develops PTSD after Insomnia falls, which only gets worse as the roadtrip goes on, between all the crap these poor boys deal with and Gladio refusing to talk about it

Oh, and don’t forget those pesky low self-esteem issues he denies exist even though he was taught that his life meant nothing next to Noct since he was a kid (why do you think he’s so gung ho about that massive ego and flirting with everyone and generally showing off?)

He’s not quite as bad about trying to take the whole world onto his shoulders as Ignis is, but he does still have tendencies toward self-blame for things that aren’t his fault, especially in regards to Noct’s safety and Iris’ life

Which is part of the reason he gets PTSD after the fall of Insomnia--blaming himself for not protecting both Noct and his sister, the loss of his father, and losing everything all at the same time

Gladio’s issues generally come out in anger, frustration, and physical lashing out

He feels absolutely awful afterward, but in the moment, he just can’t control himself because he never learned how to deal with intense emotions properly

Maybe surprisingly, Noctis is the one who first puts the pieces together and forces Gladio to sit down and talk about it

The talk doesn’t really go well and Gladio winds up punching a boulder until his knuckles are bloody and crying in front of his prince

Once Gladio slumped to his knees and starts sobbing, Noct scooted closer and just wrapped an arm around him and they sat in silence for a while until Gladio could start stringing words together and awkwardly trying to work through his feelings

It helped a little, but Gladio was still uncomfortable actually talking about it, especially with his prince

So Noct talks discreetly with Ignis and convinces him to try and help Gladio find some better coping methods

They try some things on the downlow, pretending everything is pretty much okay to keep Noct and Prompto from getting concerned, and eventually hit on Ignis reading aloud to him and giving him something else to focus on

After some trial and error, they realize that poetry from the Lucian Romanticism phase seem to work the best and Ignis started stocking up on poetry books everywhere he can find them

Eventually, Noct and Prompto catch on, but keep pretending not to know to avoid upsetting Gladio--with the exception of helping Ignis track down books, and they both memorize a few to mutter to Gladio at choice moments, catching him by surprise

Bonus: all the boys together

These boys are all so close, their issues can accidentally exacerbate each other just as much as they can help

There have been several times when one of them goes off (generally Prompto or Gladio) and the others all spiral, trying to help or keep it together

The absolute worst time was when Ignis hit rock bottom and couldn’t stop chewing on his hands and completely freaking out

None of the others knew what to do, so they wound up kind of awkwardly piling in the tent around Ignis and holding his hands so he couldn’t chew his nails and Gladio read all the poetry books and Prompto cuddled everyone and Noct kept almost dozing off and they were all an absolute wreck

But they made it through together and were all super careful around each other for like a week afterward

#Final Fantasy XV #ffxv headcanons #mental illness #anxiety #depression #PTSD #OCD #These poor boys #Sassentia's headcanons #Polyship roadtrip

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pinkbabechix · 7 years

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Dark Genius

There was an itch in Jimin’s throat as he grabbed for his water bottle and began chugging it. Recording felt abnormally long today. He thought the recording was going well, clear voice, high notes on point, yet he was asked to redo his parts multiple times. Though stressful, he wasn’t going to question the genius behind the music. Running his fingers through his damp hair from a light layer of sweat, Jimin stepped out of the recording room.

When he looked up, he noticed the figure seated behind the computer looking lost in thought. His face was resting in his palm as he stared at the controls. Dark circles from many late nights were magnified from his thick framed glasses which were often hidden by his messy black bangs. He doesn’t look up when Jimin stands next to him.

“Are you okay, hyung?” Jimin asks while finishing the rest of his water.

Yoongi looks up suddenly, eyes wide from the realization that he was no longer alone. He lets out a weak cough to help clear his throat.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says straightening his back.

“So, are we good with the recordings?”

Yoongi clicked something on the computer and began tapping his fingers on the table. He glances at the new audio files for barely a few seconds before dropping his gaze to his fingers. They moved in a linear pattern not steering from their steady rhythm.

“Mm, they should be good,” he mumbles without looking up.

Jimin could tell something was on his mind. Yoongi has always been known to be more quiet than the rest of the guys, normally either consumed in thought or asleep. Jimin had always gotten along with Yoongi even if they weren’t close. They knew each other’s boundaries very well and respected them. There was never any pressure as they often would sit next to each other in silence just enjoying the other’s company or as an escape from the other members. Sometimes they would dive into deep conversations and lose track of time, but that happened very rarely unless there was alcohol involved.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jimin inquired taking the first initiative in the conversation. Yoongi looks up with a deep frown. The wheels were turning in Yoongi’s mind, but he remained mute. Jimin could only handle the silence for about another solid minute before becoming anxious.

“What are you thinking about?” Jimin continued trying to help spark the now dying conversation. He walked across the small room and sat on the sofa, crossing his legs under him, to give Yoongi his full undivided attention. Yoongi watched Jimin from under his bangs, turning in his chair till they were facing each other. He still doesn’t say anything as he dropped his gaze to his shoes. Jimin follows and watches him studying a dirt spot on his white Pumas, rubbing on it with his thumb as if it were an eraser. The act was basic but for some reason had a hypnotic effect on Jimin.

“Where was Jungkook last night?”

The muffled question came out of nowhere as it threw Jimin off guard. He replayed the question again in his head to make sure he did hear him correctly. The topic seemed random but knowing Yoongi it most likely wasn’t as there was a reason behind every word and action from him. After a few seconds passed, Yoongi decided that he needed to clarify for the rather confused Jimin.

“I messaged him a few times last night to set up a time to record but didn’t hear from him till late morning.”

When it comes to the group, Jungkook was one of the hardest workers, often overexerting himself from long hours of practicing dance and singing. He was a perfectionist, something the group has always known, which unfortunately has caused him great anxiety over the years affecting his health in multiple ways (acne, insomnia, flu, etc.). This is why it was never an issue when it came to Jungkook responding to messages. In fact, it was very rare for Jungkook not to respond to a message within ten minutes giving Yoongi a valid reason to worry.

Jimin scrunched up his nose as he recalled the events from last night. He didn’t want to reveal too much, risking his friendship with Jungkook, so he thought carefully of what to say.

“He was at home. Didn’t you see the V-Live last night, hyung? Tae and I were showing off his place.”

“Yeah, I saw it,” Yoongi says with his frown growing deeper before continuing, “but, that was right after practice. Where did he go afterwards?”

Jimin looked down at his fingers as they played with the hem of his shirt due to nerves and a way to help organize his thoughts. Why was Yoongi so convinced that Jungkook went out last night? He had a bad feeling about this.

“What makes you think he went somewhere?” Jimin asked innocently.

Yoongi huffed at Jimin’s words as if he couldn’t believe he asked such a question. Tension was building in the air making it difficult for Jimin to breathe.

“You saw what he was wearing, Jimin. He doesn’t wear clothes like that unless he’s trying to impress someone.”

Jimin could feel his hands become clammy. Lying was something Jimin has always been awful at and knew he would not be able to pull off especially to Yoongi. It was honestly impressive how well Yoongi could read people. Simple behaviors others would overlook, he would spot and analyze. He always knew when something was off with the group or if someone was lying (calling Taehyung out plenty of times). With that in mind, Jimin took a deep breath, calming his nerves in order to not give anything away to this human lie detector.

“I don’t think he went anywhere. At least, he didn’t mention anything to me that he was. Maybe his phone died or he lost track of time playing Overwatch.”

Although very reasonable excuses, and technically were not lies, Yoongi didn’t buy it. He was now glaring at Jimin. Jimin felt like prey as Yoongi’s gaze pierced right through him, searching for the truth all the way down to his soul. Yoongi knows something, that’s for sure, which just made Jimin even more uneasy.

“I guess he got…distracted,” Yoongi slowly stated finally releasing Jimin from his stare by looking back down to his shoe. Jimin let out a huge breathe he didn’t realize he was holding. “What about you? Where were you last night?”

Now it was Jimin’s turn to frown. He wasn’t surprised that the conversation was turned to him since he too was guilty for responding late to Yoongi’s message. However, he responded at three in the morning rather than eleven. Everyone in the group knows that Jimin is always glued to his phone, so for him to message that late (especially when he wasn’t at the dance studio) was odd. But, he didn’t care. Last night was well worth the scolding from Yoongi.

As if on cue, his body began to tingle from where the soft hands had explored Jimin’s body yesterday evening. Leftover chills could still be felt from where the cool, moist lips traced down his overheated skin, whispering sweet promises along the way. He was exhausted after yesterday’s V-Live, mentally and physically, that the only way he could find relief was by letting himself be consumed by the ecstasy.

Subconsciously, Jimin rubbed the back of his neck where a decent sized hickey laid from his carelessness. It wasn’t until two hours ago when Jimin had to use the bathroom that he even realized it was there. It wasn’t unusual for him to have them, often getting lost in the moments, but this was the first one that threaten to cross his “t shirt zone”. His head, neck, and arms were all restricted zones which Jimin didn’t allow any marks. It may seem silly, but this was one of the reasons how he was able to get away with this for so long.

As he uncrossed his legs on the sofa, he feels his shirt shift causing an uneasy feeling to appear in his stomach. He doesn’t try to fix it, not wanting to draw any further attention to his neck.

“Just in my room,” he shrugged now playing with the broken piece of leather on the sofa successfully avoiding eye contact, “watching some TV”. Which was true, until a guest decided to stop by.

Yoongi laughs, but it’s not the pleasant laugh that you hear after a really funny joke or when somebody does something stupid. No, this laugh was dark and spoke louder than words. He knew. Yoongi knew that Jimin wasn’t telling the whole story, but how? Panicking inside, he began replaying their conversation, trying to find where he might have slipped up. His mind finally became blank as he couldn’t find the leak. Was Yoongi just that good at reading people or was he trying to psych him out? Maybe Jimin was reading too much into the laugh - yet his gut says otherwise.

One thing that Jimin was sure of was that he needed to leave before things became worse. He took a deep breathe, calming his nerves to the best of his abilities, and began gathering his things.

“Well, if that’s all you need me for then I’m going to head back now,” Jimin says luckily without any shakiness to his voice and swiftly turned towards the door. However, the sudden sound of Yoongi’s raspy voice causes Jimin to stop mid-step.

“Who gave you that?”

Jimin’s heart stopped as he let the question linger in the air. Confused, he turned back around.

“What? What are you…” he began to ask but then froze the moment his eyes met Yoongi’s face. There was a hint of smugness etched across it causing his features to look darker than before. Jimin’s blood turned cold recognizing that look all too well seeing it plenty of times used against the other members. It is a look of when Yoongi has the upper hand, a superior look, a look of victory. That laugh was no coincidence. It was game, set, and match with Yoongi as the winner.

Smirking, Yoongi lifts a finger and points to the back of Jimin’s neck.

“So, who gave you that?”

(Make sure to read V-Long Mishap Parts 1 & 2 to know what's going on)

(The long wait for another piece from “The Prince” series is here! Sorry for the choppy work. Haven’t had much time this week to write due to work being abnormally busy. I will try harder!!

Please let me know your thoughts so far. I know the pieces seem random, but I promise they do/will connect in a fun way. So much suspense!! If you are enjoying then don’t forget to follow )

Click here for the MasterList

#bts #bts jimin #bts suga #bts dark suga #bts sexy jimin #the prince series #bts golden maknae #what is up with freaking park jimin and that hickey #bts fanfic #fanfic #jikook #kookmin

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evakfanficsrecs · 7 years

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EVAK FANFICTION RECS / PART 10

Halla! So, as time comes and goes, I’m here with another masterpost of some of my favorite Evak fanfics for you guys. As you can see, I’m trying to be a bit more creative and make these posts look at least somewhat more appealing, so I hope you like this little header I made (even though I suck at Photoshop).

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics. My personal favorites are tagged with a “ ★ ”. Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “ ✓ ”

Without further ado, all the fanfics can be found under the cut. Enjoy!

ONESHOTS:

the punchline to a very bad joke by clarabelle Summary: “Halloween?” Even inquires softly as he draws patterns on Isak’s bare shoulders. A shiver runs down the length his spine, and not from the cold October breeze.“ Lea asked me to take her. Pappa has to work, and Mamma…” Isak lets out a small sigh. “There’s no one else.” OR: Captain America, Vladimir Putin, and Princess Leia go trick-or-treating.

All Those Little Things by Evakoorhelm Summary: Isak comes home to the apartment that he's shared with Even for two years. To a suprise.

even, isak, and the four-week-old kitten by hippopotamus Summary: “You know how elephants are scared of mice because they have the intelligence to recognise that they might step on them and hurt them?” “I did not know that, Isak, but are you saying you’re scared of this tiny cat?”

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg by sugarbeat24 ★ Summary: Isak and Even are chemistry partners. Fluff and chemistry jokes ensue.

wish i could live in your heart by cynical_optimist Summary: Some mornings, Even will untangle himself from Isak completely, rolling out of bed to make breakfast. More often, he will try, and Isak will hold tight, and Even will stay, chuckling to himself and murmuring about octopi. These are the mornings Isak prefers, the ones where he can stare at Even’s face until he slips back into sleep or curl into him, every part of himself warm and safe.- Or, domestic mornings and being in love.

Accidental Pride by shakespeareandsunshine Summary: Pride!au; Isak lets Even pull him along and show him the sights. Sights that yeah, he could’ve seen on his own, but not like this, not the way Even sees them. Or: The one where Isak goes to Pride. Unintentionally.

Would You Mind Closing The Bedroom Door? by allyasavedtheday ★ Summary: The boy falters in the threshold, eyes widening when they land on Even. “Oh fuck- sorry! Eva didn’t say anyone was home.” Ah. No wonder she was up late last night. Even can’t really fault her taste – the boy is beautiful. He’s got golden hair mussed and curling over his forehead and cheekbones not even Michelangelo himself could sculpt and the most well-defined cupid’s bow top lip Even’s ever seen. Also he’s shirtless. Did he mention that part? There’s a stunning, shirtless boy in his kitchen with pillow creases still on his cheek and Even can’t do anything about it because he’s Eva’s one night stand. Fuck.

a letter to isak by alltimemarrit ★ Summary: Even is going on a trip for a week and leaves Isak a letter. Or: Even loves Isak a whole lot and is a massive sap.

snuggles by hippopotamus Summary: Even is sick and all he wants is snuggles from his boyfriend.

Afire Love by pressurerin ★ Summary: Isak can't seem to stay out of trouble. A hot firefighter makes trouble seem not that bad.

Before or after? by thekardemomme Summary: Before AND after Even posted to Isak's instagram.

Love As The Stars Went Out by Salambo06 Summary: “In some universe,” Even whispers, lips soft against Isak’s neck, “you are walking back home and I’m on your path, Isak.”

hell yeah, you the shit (that's why you're my equivalent) by colazitron Summary: Even can't keep it in his pants, or his heart. Or: Sometimes your boyfriend proposes and you just really want to sit on his dick.

The Joke is on You by winterpassing Summary: Isak has been dealing with Even and Eskild's pranks for a while now, but the most recent prank has come with an unplanned surprise.

lucky for you (that's what I like) by thekardemomme Summary: Isak is trying to be sexy, and Even is just not having it.

sweet creature (but we're still young) by kittpurrson ★ Summary: summer camp!au; Isak meets seventeen-year-old Even Bech Næsheim at Tyrifjorden on his fifteenth birthday. Or: the one where Isak tries to convince the boy next door to put his hands on him.

don't wake up (i'll be here for centuries) by eatthatup Summary: Even doesn’t find it weird, he’s had lucid dreams before. And it’s normal to dream about people you think you’ve never seen before. It’s all good, until he dreams about the blonde boy again.

Our Steady True North by verlore_poplap Summary: parenthood!au; Five times Isak and Even were amicable; plus one time they just weren't.

Make a spark, break the dark, find a light with me by LostInAdmiration ★ Summary: Isak can't sleep, so spends his nights wandering around the street. Even works the night shift at the store around the corner, and they bond over their mutual insomnia.

walk this town by sweetwines Summary: Isak Valtersen is late for class.

Venus by Skamtrash Summary: Even buys Isak a buttplug and tells him to wear it all day in school. Isak's desperate, he's horny and Even fucks him into oblivion.

now i'm back with the boys again by Rine Summary: So here’s the thing: Sana never intended to be friends with Isak Valtersen. If someone had told her even six months ago that they could be friends, she would’ve laughed and rolled her eyes. But it turns out, he's actually quite easy to get along with. Or, a fic about Sana gradually becoming friends with Isak and Even.

I Love You (Don't Leave Me) by i_once_wrote_a_dream Summary: “Tell me a story?” They do this sometimes. When the real world is too much and all they want is to melt into each other. Isak slides so that only his legs remain in Even’s lap and pulls his man into his chest. It’s awkward but neither want to let go of the other. Alternatively, Even talks about his past, and Isak loves him.

like a willow tree, intertwined by sonhoedesrazao Summary: Isak’s hand is shaking.

Christmas Surprises by bashfulisak Summary: Isak and Even celebrate Christmas together by going to Even's house for dinner.

It's Just a Cough! by bashfulisak Summary: Even comes down with a cold and Isak is determined to take care of him.

a light in your eyes by verlore_poplap Summary: A little oneshot about our boys. Set during sesong 4, episode 5.

Close but never close enough by diamondjacket Summary: “Isak,” Even repeats, quiet and a little awed, like he’s testing it out on his tongue. Sana narrows her eyes at him, trying to work out his angle. She remembers the way he used to fixate and focus, used to throw himself relentlessly into his passions, both old and new. Used to live and love and care with his whole body. But she’s never seen him like this.

before it's all too much by thekardemomme Summary: “It's in the past, Even. You can keep it there if you want to.”

Yes I'll meet you coming back (but we move forwards) by diamondjacket Summary: There’s nothing left to do but wait for Even to laugh, or yell, or leave. But, remarkably, Even doesn’t do any of that. Or: Isak tells Even about the thing with Jonas. It doesn't go the way he expects.

(kisses on the neck of) best friends by birthmarks, desert_coffin & kittpurrson Summary: Five times Jonas watched Isak and Even, and one time they did something about it.

relax, take it easy by lovedisak Summary: “Actually, my other mom, Therese is the one who loves film. She teaches at the art academy in Oslo, actually, she’s a musician, taught me how to play guitar,” Even smiles fondly. Isak blinks.“What?” he asks. He knows it’s a stupid question, there’s nothing about what Even said that he could ask this to but. What. “What?” Even shoots back, shrugging. Or, Even has two moms. Isak did Not know.

i need a man that makes it right by highpraises Summary: He feels his skin draw tight, his muscles tensing, Even fucks him just like that right up until Isak is just about to come, but then Even’s pulling out and kissing along his jaw, murmuring, “Don’t come yet, baby.”

friday, i'm in love by bbyfruit ★ Summary: Five times over the course of one day that Isak falls in love a little bit more, plus one time he talks about it.

if you have lost a right track then i'll lead you right back by kittenmichael Summary: “Even,” he whispers, as if it’s a secret Norway’s nights shouldn’t hear, “my tongue feels really weird.” Even chuckles at his boyfriend’s antics, before realising that he’s genuinely confused. “Kind of like cotton?” “Yes,” Isak says. “Like cotton.” Or, Isak gets drunk.

The one where Even tells it all by Schedazzle Summary: “Babe?” there was a little cloud from Isak’s breath in the cold air. Even couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t keep this in any longer, but he also couldn’t say it to that concerned look in Isak’s eyes either. Desperately gasping for a bit for air Even dived his head forward. Hiding his face in his favourite place. Pressing his cold nose against the warmth of Isak’s neck and finally getting some oxygen into his lunges. Breathing Isak in.

and i thank god i'm alive by thekardemomme ★ Summary: 5 times Even looks at Isak and 1 time Isak calls him out on it.

Ice Cream Parlor by bashfulisak ★ Summary: AU where Even works at an ice cream parlor as a summer job and Isak really likes the ice cream and he and Even play a game where Even tries to guess Isak's favorite flavor of ice cream but every time he gets it wrong, he gives Isak the ice cream for free.

promises by Isabeauu Summary: Even’s enjoying the wind in his hair and the cold air turning his cheeks red, his favorite song of the moment blasting in his ears when all of a sudden the music stops and his ringtone replaces it. He’s riding his bike, so he can’t see who’s calling but going through all the people he knows, Noora definitely isn’t one of the few he’d expected it to be.

kiss with a fist is better than none by DarkBeauty_890 Summary: “What the fuck,” Isak sighs, and grabs Even’s arm, “I swear I used to be a really good fighter. Have I ever told you about last year with the Yakuza?”“I am so fucking mad at you right now.”

Careful by bashfulisak Summary: Even rushes Isak to the hospital after the chaos with the boys and the next day Sana visits them.

Emergencies by bri_ness Summary: Even and Jonas talk in the emergency room. Set immediately after 4x05.

all he wants to do is party with his pretty baby by highpraises Summary: Even and Isak attend Even's very first movie's premiere.

Bright Eyes by boxesofflowers & Eeyoreneedsahug Summary: Isak is a great singer. Several people are surprised. Happy karaoke where nothing hurts and Isak sings to his boyfriend.

Imagine All The People by samclarke0000 Summary: How the boys are feeling as Even performs and their reaction to him freezing - basically Isak worrying about his boyfriend.

We'll Be Okay by Dooka Summary: In which Even is drowning in his own guilt, Isak is boyfriend goals, and Sana gets some proper friends. Or, the aftermath of Episode 5.

Evak texts by Skamtrash Summary: Sexual Evak texts featuring a lot of memes and gifs.

settle down by allyasavedtheday ★ Summary: An archive of canon compliant oneshots. Can be read separately.

firing away as they gay by cosetties ★ Summary: Just because Isak and Even hooked up doesn't mean that Even actually cares about him, no matter how badly the meddling assholes he calls friends want them to be together.

Babysitting by bashfulisak Summary: Isak ends up having to babysit Even's seven-year old sister, Alissa.

Don't Come Easy by evakisgolden Summary: Even's last few loves were ruined by his bipolar disorder. Now he's fighting the aftermaths of a new manic episode, and he's certain that he isn't able to love Isak the way Isak deserves to be loved. He's positive that it will all end like his past relationships. It never comes easy with Even.

how far away the stars seem, and how far is our first kiss, and ah, how old my heart by elspethelf Summary: Isak and Even in the aftermath of the events at the end of 4x05.

No one gets to treat you like that by Gansey44 Summary: After Isak finds out what Mikael did to his boyfriend he decides to take matters into his own hands (literally)- no matter the consequences.

This feels like falling in love by ForEvenAndEver (yuraxchan) Summary: What if Isak had tried Grinder? Or, how Isak meets Even in the bathroom of a bar after a failed attempt at Grindr.

Draw The Line (Need To Know That You're Mine) by thesoulsailor ★ Summary: fake dating!au; Five times Even pretends to be Isak's boyfriend, and one time there's no pretend at all. Or the 5+1 Fake Boyfriend Evak AU we all deserve.

hold me close don’t ever let me go by sonhoedesrazao Summary: Isak is not beyond admitting that he might, on occasion, be a little dramatic.

CHAPTERED:

the city of illusions, the city of yearning by elisewin Summary: The whole point of going on a student exchange program is to meet people from different countries, learn about different cultures and so on. Isak, of course, falls in love with another Norwegian while in Rome.

Behind These Four Walls by Lisa94 ✓ Summary: AU in which Isak's mother is in a mental institution and one day when he goes visit her he sees a beautiful boy painting outside and as he waits for his mother to come join him he approaches the boy to see what is he painting and he sees, it's a painting of him. He sits right next to the boy who presents himself as Even and theycstart talking. Even explains he'd seen him coming to visit every weekend and thought he was the most beautiful boy ever.

Paint Me a Picture (With Your True Colours) by Evenbechbaesheim ★ Summary: Isak frowns, rolling over to bury his face into the soft pillow beneath his head. Up until that point, he’d still been asleep, Even’s long fingers gently brushing down the curve of his spine, lulling him into a carefree, floating state. There’s something magical about the way Even touches him- Isak swears that there’s some kind of mystical power his boyfriend is hiding. It shouldn’t be normal that every time Even’s skin brushes against his, every electrolyte in his body lights up and starts firing on all cylinders. Even moves his hand away, and Isak feels like he’s going to implode. Or, a collection of moments, told in any order, in Even and Isak's new life together, taking place in and around season 4.

Half Blade and Half Silk by smokeshop ★ ✓ Summary: uni!au; Isak's friends introduce him to an art student at a college party. He won't stop calling Isak baby and Isak's bad at pretending to hate it. College AU where Isak's past is a little more colorful but Even still won't leave him alone.

catch me a catch by Bellakitse Summary: Even and Mikael get kicked out of Bakka for a mysterious stunt and transfer to Nissen in the middle of their 3rd year. Even hates everything about it, except for the cute 1st year he’s seen around the school. Mikael doesn’t hate Nissen and in fact, has taken to amusing himself by spreading wild rumors about why they got kicked out and by the fact that his best friend has a crush on some kid. Still, Even his best buddy and he’s going to help him out. * A story where Even is mooning for Isak from afar, Isak is intimidated by the hot 3rd year everyone at school is whispering about, and who he’s caught staring at him and Mikael is the best the wingman ever.

boom! by ImSoSupernova Summary: Isak just wants a summer job. Eva's trying to figure herself out. But it only takes a bouquet of flowers, some newspapers, and some hot blondes to change both of their lives.

evak & yousana | the hot baristas by WritenStuff Summary: coffee shop!au; When Isak finds perfection works in the local coffee shop, he can't resist dragging Sana there for their biology study date.

Isak by sira89 Summary: Even sees Isak for the first time.

think i know where you belong by CarolineMiller Summary: childhood friends!au; Feeling exhausted, Even took the page out of the sketch book, tearing it and folding it carefully before placing it in the bottom drawer of his desk, along with all the others he had never dared to show Isak. With all the others he desperately wanted to show to Isak. "Another day ..." he murmured to himself, closing his window with resignation. Or, a childhood AU/friends to love in which Isak and Even spent their lives exchanging messages written on sketchbooks through their windows (and keeping many other messages, full of unspoken stuff, in the bottom of their drawers).

Come On, Set the Tone by boxesofflowers & Eeyoreneedsahug ✓ Summary: HateToLove!au; Isak is a recently out popstar who wants to prove that he is not just another pretty face in pop music and has the skills to make his own way in the musical world (just like his newly found idol, Even Bech Naesheim). Even is a self contained, indie singer songwriter who takes shit from nobody - anyone in his cult following will tell you (including a certain popstar). Shortly after a public feud between the two begins, they’re forced together for a nationwide tour. 9 weeks, 50 shows, and countless hours (together) on the tour bus leave Even writing cryptic love songs and Isak wondering if he should leave everything he knows behind. Ft. BL!SS, Balloon Squad, Wireless Problems, Jonas, and the Wobbles.

Oh when you look at me like that, my darling, what did you expect? by Blueskyblack Summary: "You should really stop doing that", Even tried to reason. It was the middle of the night and though his guard was up, as usual when being around Isak, he wasn't in the mood to uphold it much longer. "Doing what exactly?", came the innocent-sounding response. Even raised his eyebrows at that while turning towards the only other person currently being in this kitchen with him. "Don't play dumb with me, Isak." Even sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, leaning against the cabinet opposite the kitchen counter where the sneaky little bastard was sat with his legs dangling in the air, observing every move Even made. Even let his eyes wander, took in the guy in front of him. Sure, there was no denying this guy there on the counter was attractive. Even could admit that, there was nothing wrong with that. Isak was cute. And attractive. Yeah. He just wasn't for Even.

let me count the ways by anathema (azirapha1e) Summary: The worst part, the humiliating part, is that he’d thought he was over all this. He had been. He hasn’t thought about any of it in months – but sometimes life fucks you over, and sometimes a boy you tried to kiss, a boy who pushed you away, shows up to your first-month-of-living-together party unannounced, and sometimes you end up bolting out of your own apartment to have a panic attack where nobody can see you.

as if by magic (thoughts of you are gone) by hippopotamus ✓ Summary: Isak hates being the third wheel to his best friends, until that means he gets to sit next to a handsome stranger on a rollercoaster.

Someone Somewhere Loves You by ReadingDreams07 Summary: uni!au; Even never thought that he would fall in love at first sight and on top of that at his school library. Now he is on a search to find the love of his life again. Too bad that this damn university was so big. But he never gave up and he will make this come true.

Crash Into Me by endlessandinfinite ★ Summary: "One boy who loves with his entire soul. Another boy who barely knows how to love at all. This is what happens when a shattered mind meets a lonely heart." Or: Isak and Even have hella issues but they can't help falling in love no matter what universe they're in. Even saves Isak. And Isak saves him right back. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. It hurts. But it's love.

torches (life's too short) by xxLeviBech ★ Summary: "My mom used to tell me my thoughts would pour out of my ears if I kept thinking too hard." Isak threw back another fry, keeping his gaze down. "That's pretty fucked up, man." Even deadpanned, making Isak snap his head up in a laugh ."Fuck you," He giggled, tossing one of the soggier ones at Even and being decidedly unimpressed when he caught it in his mouth. Or, a canon divergence AU in which Isak's childhood is exponentially more severe -- where he can't remember coming to school without bruises, a bottle of hand-sanitizer, and long sleeves. It's fine, he's fine. It wasn't for his friends, though; and that's how he wound up here, in a fold-up chair every Tuesday and Friday, talking about his experiences with other post-secondary kids diagnosed with some kind of PTSD. It's also where meets a guy whose name starts with the same letters as everything, because that's... exactly what he is.

LUST FOR LIFE. by kosektivet Summary: "In these stolen moments, the world is mine." An AU where Isak is 19 and out of the closet, but he's still pretty bitter. Even is 21 and he never met Sonja, but he's still charming as all hell.

don't wanna fight no more by boxesofflowers & Eeyoreneedsahug ✓ Summary: The events over the hiatus told in short form. Sana and Evak's friendship mostly. Updated daily.

I could fall, or I could fly. by Superflysister342 Summary: Even was nervous. Considering it was his first day at a new school, it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise. But to Even, it was. This is how it all started... Or, the events of s3 told from Even’s POV.

Picture Perfect by Angelevak Summary: Isak is a semi-professional photographer living in LA, California. On his search for models to take photos of, some of which you wouldn’t see in a normal modeling company, he meets Even, an insecure boy who traveled to LA to become an actor. Even;s career hasn’t taken off yet, but with the help of Isak, can he finally get out there enough to achieve his dreams?

Nothing To Kill Or Die For by i_once_wrote_a_dream ✓ Summary: It’s Isak. His Isak. Bowed over, hands holding his face. Even doesn’t react immediately, but the others are pushing Isak back; yelling, screaming, hitting. Alternatively, Even and his thoughts during and after 4x05.

I'll give you the brightest sunshine by iheartpeterhale ✓ Summary: parenthood!au; It was something that they new would always happen, a life being brought into their lives that would make all the gloomy days into something so bright.

Martini Shot by BraveKate ✓ Summary: It’s not like Even had never spent any substantial one-on-one time with Marianne before. He just wishes Isak had more faith in all three of them. And worried less. Also, so there would be no war or hunger in the world. Simple things.

#even bech næsheim #isak valtersen #even x isak #isak x even #evak #evak fanfiction #evak fanfics #evak fanfic #evak fanfics recommendation #evak fanfics recs #skam #skam fanfiction #masterposts #i know this took me ages but i've been busy #at least it's long though!!#have fun <3

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kanrakixystix · 7 years

Note

Nyx/Prompto "Biting's excellent, it's like kissing, only there's a winner".

…listen. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know why I decided I was going to tell this story, but I am telling it and it has a mind of its own.

Lord help me.

Word count: 1686

“Biting’sexcellent! It’s like kissing, only there’s a winner.” The wider Crowe’ssmirk grew, the more Prompto felt his face flush under her scrutiny. Sure, shehad had a few drinks – they all had – but there was something else in her tonethat made him uncomfortable. The more he tried to ignore it and take his eyesoff of her, the more he could feel her gaze. Libertus’s laugh shook the table,and Noctis, that awful best friend of his, was even trying to hide his laughterbehind the palm of his hand. Jerk.

Crowewriggled her brows and Prompto jumped, landing himself flush against the sideof Insomnia’s hero himself, Nyx Ulric. He winced and looked over his shoulder,half expecting Nyx to be laughing, half expecting him to be angry for bumpinghim in mid bite of his meat skewer. Instead, Nyx gave him a look of compassionand, skewer still in hand, draped his arm over his shoulders and pointed it atCrowe.

“That’senough. You’re scaring the kid. Don’t strip his innocence away just because you’vegot none left for yourself.” There was a teasing lilt in his voice, but Promptocould tell by the way Crowe leaned in and bit the meat at the end of the woodenstick that it was the final thing she was going to say about it.

And whatwas that all about anyway? Sure, he had heard that biting was a means ofarousal, but he had never been bitten, nor did he have any plans to bit anyone.Unless that was something they wanted, then maybe he would. When push came toshove, he just wouldn’t know until that situation came upon him, and with hiscurrent track record, Prompto doubted that would be happening anytime soon. Fornow, he was just glad that he got to hang out with his awesome best friend andhis best friend’s entourage.

He alsotried not to notice that Nyx still had his arm around him.

Threemore beers had come and gone before he noticed that Nyx had stopped drinking.Maybe he was on call? That was a thing that the Glaives did, right? Maybe hewas the one responsible for making sure Noctis got home that night? Yeah! Thathad to be it!

Anothertwo beers had been consumed before Noctis finally stood, stretching his armsover his head and pulled out his phone. Prompto watched him with a slightlylopsided grin through bleary eyes. His best friend was so handsome.

“Ignisis still up, so I’m gonna drop in on him.” Prompto nodded, assuming that hewould at least accompany him until they had to split paths, but Libertus andCrowe stood instead while Nyx remained unmoving.

“We havedrills in the morning, Hero. Don’t forget,” Libertus called to them, and Nyxonly waved him off.

“Don’tdo anything I wouldn’t do,” Crowe teased, and Prompto belated realized it wasaimed at him, but Nyx answered in his stead.

“If hedid, he’d still get further than you.” There was that playful intonation again,and Prompto might have imagined it in his tipsy state, but he would have sworn thathe had heard Crowe mutter something along the lines of ‘Lucky kid.’

Then she was gone, leaving him alone with Nyx. Not that hereally minded. Nyx was handsome, strong, charming…

Okay. He had a crush on Nyx.

“We should get you home.” Nyx’s voice was right against hisear, low and reassuring, and goosebumps rose on Prompto’s arms as he suppresseda shiver. He might have responded, he might not have, but he definitely whineda little when the weight of Nyx’s arm (had it been there all night?) was gonein favor of taking his hand to help him up. After tossing a few credits on thetable he waved to the staff. Suddenly his attention was back on Prompto and theblond gave him a sheepish, more than likely lopsided grin.

The walk was comfortable, surprisingly, and Prompto foundthat he rather enjoyed listening to Nyx talk about the things he liked, even ifhe didn’t necessarily like them himself. There was passion, fire, and Promptocould relate to that.

“You’re still doing the photography thing, right?” Promptojumped at the question and he laughed off-handedly. Of course, Nyx would wanthim to actually contribute to the conversation. He cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah! I always have a camera on me, even if it’s justmy phone.” In his mind, Prompto sounded lame, but Nyx just smiled.

“What are your favorite things to photograph?” Prompto thoughtabout that for a moment, then smiled with a little more assurance.

“People. I like catching them in moments that day-to-daylife that they tend to forget. Like, Noct for example gets this really intenselook on his face when he’s focused on things, and Crowe doesn’t really loseherself when she laughs, but when she does, she crinkles her nose and has areally pretty smile, and…”

He trailed off, then frowned, and found a really nice spoton his sneakers to stare at as they walked. Why in the world would Nyx, Mr. Hero,give a shit about his photography subjects? He wouldn’t, and he probably justbored him out of his mind to the point where he needs to go back to the bar andhave a few drinks to forget that this conversation ever happened and remindhimself that he only hangs out with him because he’s the prince’s best friend.

But Nyx, who he only just realized was still holding hishand because he squeezed it, just laughed softly, and maybe he stepped closerto him?

“What haven’t you caught on camera?”

Nyx hadn’t turned and run the other direction, but Promptowas convinced at this point he was only humoring him now. He took a deepbreath, trying to calm his nerves and super overactive imagination.

“Victory,” he said evenly. “I want to catch someone in themidst of realizing they accomplished something they’ve wanted to achieve.” Itwas a simple notion, Prompto thought, one that spoke volumes. It was happiness,relief, and pride all rolled into one.

Silence fell between them and there was a period where Promptocould have captured Nyx Urlic as the cogs in his head turned. The chance wasmissed though, and he barely had the mind to unlock his phone before he wassuddenly back into an alley and pressed against the wall. He stumbled, but Nyxkept him up, and a smirk danced on his lips.

“N-Nyx?!”

Nyx chuckled though and touched the tip of his nose to his.

“Get your camera out,” he commanded, and Prompto immediatelyobeyed, swiping up for the camera on his phone. The lighting was a little dark,but with the right filter he could make it look really good.

And then he felt them, teeth in his neck, lips sucking onhis skin, and Prompto nearly dropped the camera before he was able to actuallytake any photos. But he did, one, then three more, then another several shots,all varying in expression and feeling. When Nyx stood upright again Promptogasped, immediately feeling the knot tighten under his bruising flesh.

“What the hell was that?! Warn a guy next time you plan ontaking a chunk out of them!”

Nyx rolled his eyes, but playfully, and turned Prompto’sphone to look through the photos. If he had any intentions of letting Promptoup from the wall, he wasn’t showing them.

“Will any of these photos work?”

Prompto turned his phone back to him and swiped throughthem. Most of them were way too dark, or the positioning was bad – after all,he had been ambushed – but the ones that turned out were nice. He would have toreally play with the editing tool, but he was certain that the one with hisfingers curled in Nyx’s hair and head tossed back and Nyx licked the mark onhis neck was his favorite. Not to mention, there was more than just victory inthis picture, but dominance, submission, desire…

“Y-yeah. I think so.” Prompto blushed, but nodded as helooked Nyx in the eyes. “You gonna tell me what that was about or not?” Nyxseemed to contemplate it for a moment, and Prompto, in all his five seconds ofbravery, smacked his arm, earning him a feigned look of shock and a soft ‘ow.’

“Maybe I’ve been waiting for the right time to make a move.”

Prompto’s jaw dropped.

“Make a move? On me?” That couldn’t be right. That wasn’tright at all. No way was this happening. Maybe Nyx had been drinking after alland he just hadn’t noticed because he was having such a good time. Yeah, thathad to be it.

“Did I stutter? Yeah, you.”

Prompto must have blushed fiercely then because Nyx laughedand cupped his cheeks.

“Crowe said that biting was a lot like kissing, except therewas a winner.”

He knew it was coming. He wasn’t really ready, but he didn’tback down from it either – not that he could have with a brick wall at hisback. Nyx was kissing him, and he kissed him back timidly, not at all shockedthat he tasted slightly of beer with remnants of the sweet sauce from the meatskewer. There was something unique there as well, but he couldn’t place hisfinger on it. Prompto couldn’t help the elated giggle that slipped past hislips as they broke apart his lashes fluttered on his cheeks.

“So, who wins?”

“Oh, I think the winner is obvious,” Nyx replied as he eyedthe purple-ish hickey he had left.

“Funny,” Prompto smirked, alcohol boosting his confidencetremendously, “I think I’m the winner.”

As Nyx kissed him again, Prompto clicked the shutter on hisphone’s camera again, making sure this time to get the lighting and angle justright. He wanted the proof that he made out with Nyx Ulric in an alley, just torub it in Noctis’s face in the morning.

Send me a pairing and the first sentence and I’ll write you a drabble.

First Sentence Drabble Master List

#promnyx #prompto argentum #nyx ulric #nyx x prompto #kingsglaive #final fantasy xv #ffxv #first sentence drabble #ask #moonpi

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imagines-dreams · 7 years

Text

I’m having some really bad insomnia and its almost 2, sooo I decided to write some Luke Skywalker headcanons because why not? Hope you guys enjoy! (oh and this wasn’t requested, I just got a stroke of inspiration, I guess.)

Being friends before you fall in love with each other

Being Luke’s voice of reason

‘No, Luke, you are not teaching that shady guy how to wield your lightsaber.’

Because Luke is too much of a nice person that he wants to help everyone

Sometimes, however, he just wants to be dramatic and it may not be a great idea

‘Luke, can’t you just tell Han the plan. The poor man’s blind and thinks he’s going to be slowly digested.’

‘But that would ruin the plan, (Y/n).’

‘Luke!’

Another example

‘You train with Yoda for one day and you think you can take on the Empire. I swear-’

‘Don’t worry about me, (Y/n).’

You groaning and worrying and ranting

Luke hugging you and kissing you on the forehead

You rolling your eyes

‘You know you love me, (Y/n).’

‘Unfortunately, I do.’

‘Yeah… What do you mean by unfortunately? (Y/n)!

Luke trusting you with everything, including your friends

‘Promise me you’ll take care of them.’

‘Promise me to come back in one piece.’

‘I promise.’

When he first comes back from Vader you are so mad at him

‘I said one piece, idiot!’

Cue hugs and tears and kisses on foreheads

Luke teaching you how to use a lightsaber

‘Luke, I’m not a Jedi. I don’t need to learn.’

‘Just in case then.’

‘Can’t I just learn how to use a knife or gun or something.’

‘No. ‘

‘Why not?’

‘Because, I can’t teach you how to use a knife or gun.’

‘Aw, Luke! … I’m going to see if Han will teach me how to use a gun.’

‘What? (Y/n) wait!’

Luke realized his feelings first, and he was utterly terrified

Because Luke had faced monsters, entire fleets of Empire generals, and Darth Vader himself, but knowing he liked, or maybe even loved, you was scarier than any battle he had ever been a part of

Luke blushing and wanting to spend more and more time with you

Then he realizes that there’s a Jedi Code, and he’s devastated. He wants to be with you and protect you and do everything in his power to make you happy, but how could he if there was a rule against it?

Luke starting to avoid you and training even more intensely

You realize that you like, maybe even love Luke, at that point

Leia finds out her suspicions are correct from her brother and is ecstatic

Han finds out from Leia and tries to get you to admit your feelings while Leia does the same with her brother

Artoo casually mentions that Luke and you are together to every droid that he ever comes across

Threepio is astounded Master Luke would dare go against the Jedi Code and tries to convince Master Luke to do otherwise

‘I know that (y/n) is attractive for her species, clever as a thief, and kind as you are, but that doesn’t mean… Master Luke? Master Luke, stop staring at (Y/n) this instant!’

yeah it doesn’t work in Threepio’s favor

Lando accidentally told both of you while discussing plans for dinner for the entire gang He totally planned blurting it out with Han and Leia those little-

Luke running out of the room and out of the facility into the wilderness

You running after him

Because you’re not as athletically inclined as a frickin Jedi Master, you trip

Luke, of course, senses it and comes rushes back to your aid and constantly asks if you broke a bone of something

You staring at him like ‘dude, I just tripped.’

Luke blaming himself for you tripping and helping you back inside and rambling about how you shouldn’t do that

You telling Luke it’s not his fault at all, but he’s not listening because he should’ve known you’d follow him and he should’ve known it would’ve been dangerous and he really doesn’t want you hurt and he would never-

Then, you kissed him

And it was messy and awkward and short, but when you pulled away, Luke leaned towards you without him noticing and ends up kissing the tip of your nose

Cue an embarrassed and awkward lil Luke Skywalker

Both of you start to laugh and bond even more than before and because Luke is too shy and innocent to ask, you ask

‘Luke?’

‘Everything ok?’

‘Of course. I just… do you want to be, I don’t know, together? Officially?’

Luke being absolutely stunned and his face just slowly transforming into a bright smile before he kisses you again and again and again

Luke has an entire day where he acts like he’s on top of the world

Think of that one moment when Leia kissed him to make Han jealous and Luke smiled smugly and put his hands behind his head

Yeah take that and intensify it by 100 and imagine that being Luke’s mood for at least 24 hours

Then, Luke comes crashing down when he remembers the Jedi Code

He leaves with no reason other than he has some mission

You asked others on base about it but… Luke wasn’t assigned on a mission

Leia being very mad at Luke

Han trying to contact Luke for Leia to yell at him

Han is also planning on punching Luke when he gets back

Lando comforting you while you are trying to stop thinking about him

After a few days of no contact from Luke, you are sick and tired of it. You want to get over him, so you constantly train

A few more days pass since you’ve been constantly training, and Luke is back

He ignores Han’s punches, Leia’s yells, Lando’s questions, Artoo’s list of reasons to go to you, and Threepio’s worries

Luke goes straight to you

You are ignoring him

‘(Y/n), please, I’m-’

‘Please, leave. I’m training.’

‘(Y/n), I’m trying to apologize!’

‘I don’t care, Luke. You can’t do that! You can’t just leave me after that!’

‘And I was stupid to do so, I know. I know, and I want to apologize for it.’

‘Sure, so you can just go off again at any moment’s notice? Without any mission or reason!’

‘I was scared, (Y/n)!’

‘Sure you were.’

‘What if they take you from me?’

‘Who? Sith Lords? Luke, you taught me how to use a lightsaber. I’ve been fighting since I could even remember and-’

‘No, I mean the Jedi.’

You’re very confused at that point

Then, you realize what he’s talking about

‘What if I’m with you and they force us apart, and I can’t do anything about it? What if we try fighting it and going against it just to have you taken away and I would be powerless to do anything? How am I supposed to cope knowing that loving you could… ruin you? You’re my best friend. I’m not losing you. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to ruin your life just by loving you.’

You shaking your head slightly

‘Luke, you almost did after that stunt you pulled.’

Him being ashamed and not wanting to say much else except

‘I’m sorry, (Y/n).’

‘Luke… do you want to be with me?’

‘More than anything.’

‘Then, let’s fight it.’

‘I can’t ask you to do that.’

‘I want to do it.’

And as Luke stares into your eyes, he could see how passionate you were and how utterly breathtaking you looked and he couldn’t help it

‘I love you, (Y/n).’

You playfully shoving him

‘You’re an idiot, Skywalker.’

Him laughing lightly and awkwardly

‘I love you, too, Luke.’

Luke freezing as his mouth grows into a beautiful smile and the two of you laugh and celebrate

Both of you hear Lando and Leia celebrating (Han thought you would forgive him after 24 hours and lost a bet to the two of them)

You immediately let go of each other and steal glances while the three make sure neither of you will hurt the other ever again

Luke and you facing the Jedi Council together

The two of you are looked at weirdly, even though the two of you act mostly like how you two acted before

Just a few more private walks around the base, maybe holding hands maybe not

A few more tickle fights and forehead kisses from luke and cheek kisses from you

The only times Luke and you kiss publicly is when one comes back from a mission

Even then, they’re short kisses followed by long, warm hugs

The two of you fight sometimes, but it’s pretty rare

The longest Luke and you had been in a fight was about a week (Han and Leia won that bet)

That fight was about the fact that you didn’t tell Luke about the severity of your mission and Luke had to find out from someone else that there was a big chance of you not coming back

The two of you agreed to be honest after that

Fight between you two never went longer than a day after that

You two would miss each other too much

You two are too in love… no fair you guys

Basically, Luke and you would have such a slow burn relationship that drives everyone mad and when you get together, no one can top how sweet and gentle the two of you are to each other. It would be so full of genuine trust and love, that everyone would be so jealous of the two of you. But they’d also aw and bet and fangirl over the two of you

Hell, i’m fangirling over the two of you

It is now very well past 2 AM at this point, so I need to stop myself. Anyway, uh, yeah, just something I thought of.. It took a while too. I started when it was nearing 2 AM. This was kinda a spontaneous thing, and I don’t think I could do requests for it… but yeah. I got inspired I guess. Anyway, yeah, hope you guys enjoy!

#luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker headcanons #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars headcanons #this took sooo long guys #i tried posting it last night #wait it was like near 3 when I did #early this morning?#anyway it didn't post so I posted again!#have a brilliant day readers!#oh and ignore weird verb tenses and inconsistencies #idk how to write headcanons but i had this in my head so...

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teachingoutsidethebinary · 7 years

Text

Insomnia Cookies: Fair Enough

Summary: Bucky convinces Y/N to go shopping.

Characters: Bucky Barnes, reader, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson

Warnings: None really. Teeny bit of angst.

Word count: 2174 (yikes that’s a long one for me!)

A/N: Check out Y/N’s room and Bucky’s room

Catch up on previous parts here

Y/N shifted on her feet as Sam, Nat, Steve, and Tony stared at her. Steve was the first to break the silence. “Do you want any water, Y/N?” he asked. She shook her head.

“So what happened with Tin Man last night?” Sam asked. Y/N bristled at the nickname for Bucky and glared at Sam. “That’s not for me to say,” she replied, gaining some confidence. Sam held up his hands. “Okay, okay. Man, she’s almost as bad as you,” he said to Steve.

Tony sighed. “Well this is boring. And here I thought we were going to get some juicy details about the mystery grocery store girl.” Y/N looked confused.

“We saw you and Bucky in the grocery store together,” Steve explained. “Bucky’s...reserved, I guess is the best word for it. Hasn’t said much about it.” Y/N nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I got that. We’re kind of alike.” She looked around the room then walked up to Tony. “Okay, Mr. Stark, I’ll answer your questions. But only the ones I want to, and only while we play that.” She pointed to the large TV and the Wii sitting on the entertainment stand. Steve and Sam smirked at her challenge. “I don’t know, Stark, the kid drives a hard bargain,” Nat said, trying to build rapport. Y/N smiled shyly at her, and Nat returned it.

Tony raised his eyebrows and rested his hand under his chin, pretending to consider her offer. He walked around her in a circle pretending to size her up. Y/N tried to keep a straight face and play Tony’s game, but a small giggle escaped when he got really close to her face. Tony backed up and stuck out his hand. “You’ve got a deal, kid.”

“What’s your favorite color?” Tony moved his controller so his character, Snake, didn’t get decimated by the bomb Y/N threw at him.

“Blue,” she replied. She made her Kirby turn into a brick and slammed onto Snake. Tony muttered under his breath and tried to think of other questions to distract her.

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Dogs or cats?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Where do you live?”

“Brooklyn.” Y/N’s Kirby picked up a Pokeball and a Lugia came out and targeted Snake. His HP maxed out and he was sent flying into the air. Now they both had one life left.

“Kick his ass, kid!” Sam yelled, hitting the back of the couch. “Ten bucks says she beats you, Stark,” Nat taunted. Tony waved his hand behind him to silence the crowd. Steve just smiled.

“How did you and Barnes meet?”

“That’s not my story to tell.”

“What do your parents do?” Y/N flinched and Snake managed to hit Kirby a few times. Y/N took control again and made her Kirby grab a healing potion at the top of the map. Her HP went down to zero, while Tony’s was already at 65%.

“My one foster dad is a yoga teacher and the other works in graphic design.”

“Foster, huh? What about your-”

“None of your business,” she said, cutting him off. Y/N’s shoulders tensed and she pressed buttons furiously trying to distract Tony to forget about his question. Tony glanced over at her during the assault and decided it would be smart to change the topic.

“What do you want to do when you grow up?”

“You mean when I’m old like you?” Y/N smirked and Kirby kicked Snake off the ledge of the cliff they were fighting on. Tony pretended to be offended. “I’ll have you know, Capsicle back there is older than me.”

“Not really,” Y/N replied. “If he hadn’t been frozen, he’d be like 30 or something, right?”

Steve thought about her question. Everyone always made fun of him and Bucky for being “fossils,” but he didn’t feel that old. Truthfully, even though he had a lot of confidence, he never felt as old as he thought he should. There were days he felt like a kid in Brooklyn again. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Bucky and me both are in our thirties.”

Tony managed to get Snake into Final Smash, and Y/N had to do everything she could to keep from dying.

“But to answer your question,” she said through gritted teeth, “I want to open a bookstore.” With Tony’s Final Smash now over, Y/N kicked Snake over toward the edge of the cliff. Her final kick sent him off the cliff and Kirby jumped in the air and turned into a brick. It hit Snake head on and he fell to his death. Y/N managed to unbrick Kirby and jump to the ledge before dying. A big Game Over sign popped up in the middle of the screen.

Sam and Nat cheered as Tony looked between Y/N and the screen in disbelief. Y/N just smiled and stuck out her hand. “Best two out of three?” she asked. Tony grabbed his controller and got ready to start a new game.

“You ready to go, kid?” Everyone turned around as Bucky walked toward the couch.

“Hey, Bucky!” Y/N said, looking up at him. “I beat Tony!” Bucky ruffled her hair and laughed. “Good. Someone needs to knock his ego down a peg.” He ducked and managed to dodge the pillow Tony threw at him.

“We should get going. You’ve got shopping to do, remember?” Y/N shook her head. “Nah, I’m just going back to the apartment after this.” Bucky frowned. “Y/N,” he started, but she cut him off. “There’s no point. Besides, it’s just a room.”

She put up a good front, but Bucky could see right through it. He walked around the couch, knelt in front of her and took the controller out of her hands. She leaned back, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and looked away. As tough as she seemed, Bucky had to remind himself she was still just a kid.

“Look, I get it,” he said, gently. “It’s a permanence thing, right? You’re afraid you won’t be there forever. If you put personal stuff in your room, you’ll get attached. And it’s a lot harder to not care when you’re attached.” Y/N swallowed and blinked back tears. She wasn’t used to someone understanding exactly how she felt. “I’m scared,” she finally whispered.

Bucky put his right hand on her knee and she finally looked at him. “I have no idea what you’re going through, but it’s okay to be scared. But, kid, you can’t let that keep you from living. Poe wouldn’t have given you the money if he truly didn’t want you to make that room your own.”

Steve stared at his best friend. He knew what Bucky’s room looked like, how Bucky acted every day. It was great advice, but Steve wished he would actually follow it himself. “Hypocrite,” he muttered. Bucky glared at him, and the action did not go unnoticed by Y/N.

“What does he mean?” she asked Bucky. Before Bucky could answer, Steve did for him. “Come on, man, look at your room. It looks exactly the same as when you moved in. No pictures, no posters, and I bet your windows don’t even have curtains on them. Where are your personal touches?” Bucky turned red. He had been caught, and he knew it.

Y/N leaned forward and put her hands on Bucky’s shoulders. “Look, I get it,” she said, parroting his words back to him. “It’s a permanence thing, right? You’re afraid you won’t be here forever. If you put personal stuff in your room, you’ll get attached. And it’s a lot harder to not care when you’re attached.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his mouth from falling open, and the other adults struggled to keep from laughing. “Okay, kid, fair enough,” he finally said. He stood up and lifted Y/N over his shoulder. She squealed with laughter and he carried her back toward the elevator to the parking garage. He put her down on the floor and pulled her into a hug with his right arm.

“I’ll go if you go,” he said. She squeezed him tighter and finally nodded her head. Bucky looked over his shoulder at his friends.

“You guys coming or what?”

“Hey, Y/N, what about this?” Sam said, holding up a lamp. It was a plain black lamp with a white shade. Y/N grimaced and adamantly shook her head. “No way! That looks totally boring.” She moved down the aisle to look at some funkier lamps. Sam looked at Bucky and pretended to sigh. “Teenagers,” Sam said. Bucky could only laugh.

After much consideration, everyone had decided to go to IKEA in Brooklyn. Bucky made Y/N promise to take the subway back to Poe and Finn’s apartment even though she could walk the trip home.

“So what’s your style, Y/N?” Nat asked from the other side of the aisle. Y/N smiled and held up a turquoise table lamp. It was bright and the perfect size for the nightstand next to her bed. She gave it to Steve and he put it in the cart. “Okay, bright and bold it is,” he said.

“Bucky’s turn!” Y/N said. Bucky stared at all the lamps. “Well, I’m certainly not a neon person,” he muttered. After looking around, one lamp caught his eye. It was a simple lamp with a square, brown shade and a teardrop-shaped base. Maybe not the most exciting lamp in the world, but he liked it. He held it up for Y/N to inspect.

“I like it!” she determined. Bucky handed the lamp to Steve.

They continued through the store picking out curtains, throw pillows/blankets, and even a rug for Bucky. Bucky kept it simple with neutral colors, while Y/N went all out with neons and bright blues. Tony complained Bucky’s pillows didn’t match with his bedspread, but Steve’s glare shut him up.

“Okay, kid, you’ve got the basics. Now let’s have some fun,” Sam said, rubbing his hands together. He led everyone over to the bedroom accessories and found a corkboard. “Every teenager needs a corkboard above their desk,” he insisted.

He handed the board to Y/N who studied it carefully. The desk in her room was small, but she had to admit the board would make it feel more like an official workspace.

“Don’t listen to him, Y/N!” Nat interjected. She held up a black magnetic corkboard. “I think this is more your style.” Y/N looked at the sleek board in awe and handed the one in her hands back to Sam. She took the black board from Nat and hugged it to her chest.

“Mine,” she said. Bucky laughed and put the board in the cart. “That’s what, twice you’ve struck out today Bird Boy?” he taunted. Sam stuck out his tongue and Bucky held up his middle finger. Steve shoved both their shoulders.

“Would you guys knock it off?” Steve hissed. “There are kids around!” Both men gave each other one last glare and backed off.

Y/N and Bucky found some posters and a wall clock before making their way to the check out. Bucky smiled as he looked at all of the items Y/N was buying. He could see more of her true personality in them and hoped they would make her feel more at home in her room. When the cashier gave Y/N her total, she froze and looked at Bucky nervously. With an encouraging squeeze of her shoulder, he nodded at her. She took a deep breath and handed over the money. Thankfully, everything fit in two big blue bags, so she decided to just take them with her on the short subway ride.

“Be careful, okay?” Steve asked as they stood outside the subway station. Y/N nodded and shifted her bags.

Bucky kissed the top of her head and gave her a small hug. “Proud of you,” he said. Y/N pointed to his own bags. “I’m proud of you too,” she replied. “Oh! Give me your phone for a second.” Bucky handed her his phone and she tapped away at the screen. “I put my number in your contacts. Text me so I have yours and I’ll send you pictures of my room.” He took back his phone and nodded. Y/N said goodbye to Sam, Nat and Tony and waved as she walked down the station stairs.

“I want a rematch on our game!” Tony shouted as she walked away. They watched her disappear and headed back to Tony’s car.

“She seems like a good kid, Buck,” Steve said. Nat hummed in agreement.

“Yeah, she is, Stevie,” smiled Bucky.

Later that night, Y/N sent Bucky a video of a tour of her new room. He could hear Poe and another voice he assumed was Finn’s in the background praising her new decor.

Bucky looked around at his own newly decorated room and smiled.

#bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes is a cinnamon roll #avengers go to ikea #avengers fic #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #tony stark #sassy tony stark #sam wilson #insomnia cookies

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alcyone2305 · 7 years

Text

Pelna Khara

The same procedure as every post!

“What the young Pelna lacks in experience, he makes up for with his incisive mind and quick wit.”

Pelna: "Lucis isn't paying us refugees enough for this!"

Pelna: "How is this fair!?"

Pelna: "Nyx! I owe you one!" Nyx: "You and everyone else. " Nyx receives a command or something? Nyx: "Pelna, go back and regroup with the others." Pelna: "Go easy on the magic, hero. You've got people waiting for you back home."

First things first, no one thinks about the payment you receive in the midst of war. Instead it already leaves a first impression on us, the audience. We can tell Pelna cracks a joke or two (presumably due to his young age since he hasn’t been for around as long as Nyx) but still doesn’t forget his sense of duty. He has a mission to fulfill though it doesn’t keep him from trying to loosen up the dangerous moment.

Pelna also jumps into situations without thinking too far beyond that. He spots a fellow Glaive being endangered and just rushes to them to protect them. And what ends up happening? He puts himself and the other Glaive into even further danger! Thank God Nyx arrives just in time.

Sure, Nyx hears the words “I owe you one” all the freakin’ time but as we see it later, Pelna is someone who insists on returning something. (Libertus just leaves it behind and takes it for granted.) Just keep that in mind for now until we reach the dinner scene.

So Pelna is protective of his fellow Glaives, tries to fulfill the mission and cracks a joke in between. But even further beyond that, he reminds the others their life is precious! He wants them to survive the battle. Not so Pelna can give something in return, but so they can return to their homes, to where they feel safe.

I might be going off right now but I feel like this impression is the reason why there’s no hate for Pelna. He’s a genuinely good guy, giving off a feeling of preciousness, protection and warmth. A cinnamon roll. No one dislikes seeing Pelna getting some screen time.

Pelna: “Crowe, we gotta move!”

But when shit hits the fan... He doesn’t let the others act. If it means to keep them safe, Pelna will force them to follow. He knows Nyx is out there on his own but Crowe is still in danger territory.

I saw people shipping Crowe and Pelna (or honestly just one) but I can see why. First the scene on the lost battlefield, now we have him following her actions in a very focused manner. The longer I look at it, the creepier it gets to be honest. So we’ll leave this bit be.

Pelna: "For Hearth-“ Others join him and respond with “- and Home.”

Pelna: “So, Nyx the Gatekeeper, how's the new post treatin' you?" Nyx: "Oh it's amazing, you guys would love it. The gatewatch are real sweethearts." Pelna: "Yeah right! We all know they hate us outsiders more than anything; So bored they've got nothing better to do." Nyx: "Eh, boredom’s not so bad. Means theres peace at least. I'd fight 100 more wars for Ghaladans to know boredom." Pelna: "Fight all you want. Just don't go dying yet. I still owe you... a lot."

Real talk for just a second: What does Pelna really owe Nyx? @thebulletsofmusicblues made this post (Link link here!) which nails it. Pelna is the guy who doesn’t really notice what he’s doing for the Kingsglaive (or for Nyx in particular) as he considers it to be.. normal. A normal human being would do such things. But when other people do it... It’s almost as if he considers himself not to be worth that much.

I can relate to him thinking this way. And because I can relate, I grew surprisingly fond of him. Whenever he appeared, I knew he meant no harm. I appreciated his presence.

The remaining bits he speaks are meant to introduce us to the xenophobic citizens of Insomnia. We’ve seen it with Petra and get further confirmation through Pelna. So we experience the xenophobia directed at the immigrants as well as the immigrants being aware of the xenophobia.

I don’t know why but I thought it was interesting to see Pelna really spoiling his appetite as his mood is ruined.

I rewatched this scene a couple of times just to make sure: So the recent events are brought up. We see Pelna facing the Captain. But when Drautos turns away and continues his walk down the line.. There’s a small moment of Pelna dropping his gaze and appearing to be.. scared? Pondering? At least the confirmation gave him a negative impact. So much he lowered his gaze. Though the moment Drautos stops his walk, talks to Crowe and we get the next shot of Pelna..

.. There’s no sign of the shock on his face anymore.

So we have to skip quite a bit until Nyx is informed the Princess isn’t on the way to the signing.

Pelna: "A homing beacon?" Nyx: "Yeah I'll send the coordinates now. Can you pinpoint a location for me?" Pelna: "Sure. But it sounds like a wild goose chase. Guess you've got some free time on your hands, huh?"

Pelna: "Those coordinates are about 20 miles south of Insomnia." Nyx: "Outside the wall?" Pelna: "What the hell was Crowe doing all the way out there?" Nyx: "No, no they sent her to... I need another favour, Pelna. Pull those coordinates up on the radar and see what you can find." Pelna: "On it. I'm thinking this is all a big deal now." Nyx contacts him again a little while later Pelna: "Jackpot, Nyx. There's a whole fleet of airships sitting at that spot." Nyx: "Niflheim." Pelna: "Yup. From the looks of it, I'd say they're headed to war." Nyx: "Wheres the captain?" Pelna: "Should be at the Citadel." Nyx: "He's not answering his frequency." Pelna: "I don't know. He must have his hands full with the escort detail." Nyx: "Pelna, one last favour. I need you to prep the Glaive for action." Pelna: "Wha- What are you talking about? You wanna deploy? Without the Captain's orders?" Nyx: "Just get it done." Pelna: "Wait, what am I supposed to tell them?" And Nyx ends the call without any hesitation.

Quick note: While most of the conversation remains the same, in the German dub Nyx responds to Pelna’s “WIthout the Captain’s orders?” with “Trust in me and do it” which gives off a stronger sense of trust and friendship between them.

I was surprised by the amount of verbal exchange Nyx and Pelna give us. And poor Pelna is tossed into the cold water, lacking experience on how to properly convince the Kingsglaive and maybe even having to deal with comments like “What does a newbie like you even know” but those are just my thoughts. But he succeeded! And Nyx knew Pelna wouldn’t fail because when Nyx cracks the party in the throne room he tells Regis the Kingsglaive can move into action right away. So Nyx trusts Pelna to convince the others and Pelna trusts Nyx it’s acceptable to move without their Captain.

Just some minor appearances, nothing too fancy.

I think this is Pelna as well since he’d be the only one calling out for Nyx. (I think he even remarked something along the lines of “Just hurry up, Nyx!” because his friend was almost late.) The armor fits to Pelna as well.

Pelna: "Nyx. This doesn't feel like a war fleet."

Pelna: "I think I might have found her. Got a guarded door here. 2 Nif MTs. What's the plan?"

And even now he’s following the orders of the group’s leader. Pelna really doesn’t want to screw up (further indicated by him cursing when his magic is acting up).

Give daddy a hug I mean what

Pelna: “Not now, damn it!"

This is something I wish to explore more of!! What is this dust spilling from his throat? I really want to know more about the exact effects on the users of magic when in fact they’re not part of the Lucis family. In FFXV it’s a big deal the Lucis family is the only one being able to use magic. It’s also the reason why Noctis stores magic spells in small flasks so his boyband can use it. (Please never do that. Friendly fire is a thing and only you can handle the magic.) The trained Kingsglaive has “special rights” since the KIng allows them to wield magic. But why is it causing trouble now? Is it because Pelna is too unstable, too excited? GIVE. ME. EXPLANATIONS.

Anyway.

Pelna: "For me? Aw, you shouldn't have."

Pelna: “Target confirmed. She's unharmed."

Jumping from joking to serious business. I just love this guy, damn.

No.

Pelna: "One Tenebrae Princess, safe and s---"

NO.

And then.. The inevitable.. Crash, crack, dead.

I was shocked, okay. I was so shocked and left speechless. I unconsciously grew to love this guy and then we have this pile of flesh and crushed bones just dropping to the floor.

There was absolutely no reason to hate him. Though this scene showed me: Even the good ones can die in the blink of an eye.

#pelna #pelna khara #i noticed how much i love him fuck #i appreciate him in a different way than luche #luche is douche #but pelna is just.. sunshine and all that #kingsglaive #final fantasy kingsglaive #kingsglaive final fantasy #final fantasy #final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #ff #ff xv #ffxv #ff 15 #ff15

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kat-and-her-cat-blog · 7 years

Text

One of Two Ways

Sunday, March 19th, 2017 1:48AM

When two people are in a relationship with each other for a long period of time, there are guaranteed to be some changes in each person. Those changes will take the relationship one of two ways; either the two will become closer as a result, or the relationship will end.

In the beginning, the changes are small. These are the little trust milestones; first cry, first fart, first shameless nose-picking to get that one stuck booger, first call from the bathroom to bring toilet paper, or a tampon, and so on. These aren’t personality changes, so much as privacy changes. It’s like setting your FaceBook account to “public,” but instead you’re changing your attitude to “this human can see how I really live,” and sometimes those are enough to end the relationship (though, usually, they just make it stronger).

After a year, or two, or seven, though, the real fun begins. At some point, you’ll start noticing actual personality changes in the other person. For some couples, these changes are good, like the changes I’ve seen in Joe. For others however, these changes are the beginning of the end, like with my parents.

When my parents first got together, my dad was really quiet, and shy, the impression I get listening to my mom talk about it is that he was the kind of person who blended in with the wallpaper. He had lots of hopes, and dreams, which at the time seemed like goals. He was going to college (I can’t remember for what), while maintaining a job, and was all around a good guy. He was the kind of guy you wouldn’t be worried about introducing to your parents. On their first date, my mother heard him giving himself what was supposed to be a silent pep-talk, to build up the courage to hold her hand. The only point of concern my mother has mentioned, was that most of his clothes were hand-me-downs from my Uncle Jack, and because Jack is significantly bigger than my dad, he usually looked pretty frumpy. She did eventually convince him to buy properly fitting clothing, and I can’t remember now what she said his reasons had been for not buying them initially. After about a year of dating, my parents got married, and moved in together (not necessarily in that order). About a year after they got married, I came along. When I was born, my dad wanted to be there for all the firsts; first feeding, first diaper change, first bath, blah blah blah. Every single thing that babies go through, or need, he wanted to be there the first time it happened. He was definitely looking like the father of the century. Then he started changing. By the time Timmy was born, Dad didn’t care for any of the firsts; he barely wanted to help out at all. He adopted a “been there, done that, got the t-shirt,” attitude towards raising his children. By the time I was in junior kindergarten, my mother was basically a single parent, in a two-parent home. I remember hearing my father downstairs at night, when he came home from work (he worked midnights at that time), and being all excited to sit on his lap and watch him play video games, and eat snacks until I dozed off. What I don’t remember, are the mornings after those nights, when my mom would try to wake me for school. She would shake me, and shake me, and pull me upright, only to find me so tired that I was sleeping while sitting up. I don’t remember the phone calls to my school, where she would lie about me being sick, or make-up a reason why I wouldn’t be there until after lunch. I don’t remember the arguments my parents would get in, where my mother would yell at him for being loud enough to wake up a four year old (and sometimes Timmy, who was two), on the second floor, while he was on the first floor. I don’t remember that he was waking us intentionally just because he was bored. I don’t remember that the snacks I was so excited to eat were always junk food, and always in portions that were far too large for a child so young. I remember when my parents split up, being upset because I wouldn’t be able to use my dad as a pillow to watch TV anymore. What I don’t remember is that Timmy and I were using him as a pillow, because he was sleeping on the floor, instead of parenting, or being otherwise useful.

Now, twenty three (or so) years after my parents first met, my father is the kind of guy you would be embarrassed to be seen in public with. He hasn’t held a job for more than a few months in years, he buys whatever clothing and shoes are cheapest (even if they aren’t in his size), all but seven of his teeth have rotted out of his mouth, he’ll strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it’s socially inappropriate to do so, he has no concept of boundaries, he thrives off drama, and I generally consider him to be more of a sperm donor than a father.

My mother and I were talking the other day, because my father had brought up a story from my childhood (ironically, this story starts with my very first memory).

Easter morning, 1998. I’m just shy of three years old (my birthday is in August). I’m walking by the glass door that goes into our backyard, and I spot a teensy, baby rodent. “Mommy! Daddy! Look! There’s a baby hamster!” My mother comes over, and after a brief inspection, corrects me; “No, sweetie, that’s a baby mouse... and he looks sick.” (I had a hamster at the time, and being a toddler, and never being exposed to mice in person, had no way of distinguishing between mice and hamsters). Mom grabbed a large pot, and something to pick the mouse up with, and (at my toddler request) we kept the mouse for about two or three days, before releasing it into a nearby field.

This is one of my favourite childhood memories, because honestly, that kind of thing just never happens. We found a baby mouse on our doorstep Easter morning, that’s some movie-script worthy shit right there. My father set out to ruin that memory for me (granted, not knowing it’s a favoured one), and though he failed, it happens to be the perfect example of how much he’s changed. You see, he told me that he disagrees with how my mother handled the situation (he was there, but I don’t know what role he played, I don’t remember him saying or doing anything). He said that she should have taken the opportunity to teach me about the circle of life. At the present, his ideal way to handle that situation would have been to sit down his three year old daughter (or, more accurately, to have my mother do it for him), and explain to me that sometimes baby mice die. Allow me to emphasize that a little; My father thinks that when a toddler finds a sick, baby mouse, on Easter morning you should tell them that the mouse is going to die, because sometimes that just happens in nature. Yes, the lesson is true, but that doesn’t make it any less awful. I don’t know what parenting books he read, but I feel like the title of that one would be Sociopathic Parenting 101. I had suggested, as an alternative to nursing the mouse back to health, moving the mouse into the hedge at the edge of our yard, and telling toddler-me that his family lived there and was looking for him. There’s a time and a place for explaining the circle of life, and that scenario sure as fuck wasn’t it.

When my mother and I were talking, she told me a story about how when they were in the early stages of living together, my father cried after they nursed a mouse back to health. They had been walking home, when my mother spotted a cat playing with the mouse, my father dumped out his coffee, and they brought it home. After a couple of days, they released it into a field, and my father started crying and was talking about how he hoped it had a good life and didn’t get caught again.

I don’t understand how my father has changed so much, but I am starting to understand why I used to have such an intense fear of commitment.

Since Joe and I started dating, I’ve noticed changes in him too. He’s changed in the opposite way though. He sticks to budgets better, he’s beginning to form a proper set of goals for becoming independent and leaving his parents house, he’s stopped letting people walk all over him out of the fear of being seen as rude, and (probably the most significant to me) he’s gotten a lot better at handling my bad days.

When we first started dating, Joe had a very minimal understanding of mental illnesses. I remember struggling to explain to him that all the advice in the world wouldn’t help me sleep, if my insomnia was acting up. I remember trying desperately to get him to understand my self-harming the couple of times I relapsed. I remember trying to explain my anxiety, and my Borderline Personality Disorder. Nearly three and a half years later, he’s gotten so much better. Take this week for example; I scheduled an appointment a month and a half ago to do my intake with a nurse practitioner to start therapy. I actually scheduled it way later than I had to, to ensure I got an afternoon slot, because with my insomnia, and not being guaranteed to have a ride, waking up for morning appointments is sometimes impossible. The nurse practitioner was sick the day of my appointment, so we rescheduled it for Friday, but the only time they had was 10:30AM. I explained to the receptionist that I have insomnia, and that it’s been acting up, and told her that I needed something no earlier than 12:00PM, and she said that while she understood, the only way to get something later in the day, would be to go back on the waiting list. I grudgingly agreed, but knew that I likely wouldn’t be fully coherent at the appointment, because I would have to be up by 8:00. Thursday night, two of my neighbours got into a huge screaming match, and within ten minutes, the person in the unit above mine started rearranging her furniture. The other neighbours wound up arguing again, and between them all, I wound up being awake for two extra hours through no fault of my own (or my insomnia’s). By the time everyone shut up, I was pretty wound up, and ended up being awake until roughly 5AM. When my alarms went off, I didn’t hear them. I slept through four alarms, and two scheduled text messages. I woke up at 10:37, when I was called to find out if I was on my way. I lost it, I started bawling my eyes out as soon as I hung up, and I texted Joe (who was at work).

*Despite showing up fine while I’m on my computer, the screenshots are showing up in the wrong order on mobile. I’m trying to fix it but the app keeps crashing, so if you’re on mobile, just read the bottom one first. First message in the conversation is the “I’m an idiot” one.* A year ago, my “please don’t lecture me,” might have been valid. A year ago Joe might have asked a million and one questions about my alarm settings, and why it took me so long to settle down once my neighbours shut up. Now, though, Joe hid in the back room while there were customers in the store, to make sure I was okay. His only whispered question was if I was being charged for the missed appointment (she didn’t say anything about billing me, so I shouldn’t be). He had me calmed down in under 10 minutes, and included a promise not to lecture me about things to do with my mental health anymore. He also made a point of saying that I shouldn’t beat myself up about it, because I tried to get a later appointment, and told them exactly why a morning appointment wasn’t a good idea. Essentially, he handled it perfectly. He understood that I knew I had screwed up, and was already being really hard on myself for it, and he assured me that I had done my best, and that we would deal with the problem.

That isn’t the only way Joe’s changed, as I mentioned before, but it’s certainly the one that I notice most frequently. I notice it every time he has to explain to someone that I’m not being rude, I just have anxiety. I notice it every time I have a bad day because of my depression, and he doesn’t push me to “just cheer up,” and instead cuddles me until I feel a little better. I notice it every time I don’t get a proper sleep, and he lets me use his arm/chest as a pillow while I nap for two hours. I notice it every time I apply for jobs, and I tell him how scared I am that I’ll start having panic attacks regularly again, and he tells me not to rush into anything. I notice it every time the rare occasion hits and I have a panic attack, and he goes through the steps of calming me down. I notice it every time he listens to me explain why something triggers a panic attack, and he changes the way he does that particular thing. I don’t know if he knows it, but I notice everything, and it makes commitment a lot less scary.

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