#Fight Flight Freeze or Fawn

[randomfoggytiger]

Updated! X-Files Mulder Trauma Responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn?

I've seen various takes on Mulder's and Scully's trauma and stress responses; and I wanted to autopsy the issue carefully to reach a conclusion. We're focusing solely on Mulder here-- but! Scully will get her own post in future.

Kitsunegari Sums Up Mulder's Trauma Responses in One Scene

Mulder is too late to stop "Scully" from pulling the trigger against her temple, screaming in agony as she drops to the ground, "dead."

He then cycles through all of his First and Secondary Trauma Responses (will be discussed below):

Running up in horror, then plastering a smile in sickening denial--

Mulder attempts to feel a pulse. There is none. Scully is dead.

His grief overwhelms him-- an aggravated and more violent (if shorter) version of his sorrow in Redux II-- scrabbling at her scalp and shoulders, silently screaming into her face, before turning away so as not to vomit.

He mentally starts to drift;

but denial-- denial, denial, denial-- holds sway as he pops his head back up, reenergized,

vainly feeling for a pulse once again, eyes desperately and obsessively focused on his partner.

There is no hope.

Mulder is now losing all control, probably gearing up to an epic meltdown of Biblical proportions-- heavy breathing, desperate eyes, nothing to grasp at or solve or hold onto--

when he hears a noise. A reprieve. A focus. An enemy.

Furious, he snatches a gun and levels it at Linda Bowman, spitting in his fury

...but doesn't fire.

And allows "Bowman" to talk him down.

And further, when "Linda" fires, Mulder flinches, puts his gun up as he dissociates (looks down to his mid-left)-- freezes, if you will-- and doesn't fight back, expecting to die.

This is Mulder's Trauma Responses in full: Freeze-Fight.

He will also begin to repeat this cycle in Milagro (if shorter-- because Scully pops up, alive, sooner.)

Why Mulder Is Primarily a Freeze Type

I'm going to include this entire segment from Pete Walker's Complex CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (see notes at the bottom for more info) because it's such a powerful piece of Mulder-psyche that it should stand on its own:

"A Freeze Response is triggered when a person, realizing resistance is futile, gives up, numbs out into dissociation, and/or collapses, as if accepting the inevitability of being hurt.... The Freeze Response, also known as the Camouflage Response, also triggers a survivor into hiding, isolating, and avoiding human contact.

The Freeze Type can be so frozen in the retreat mode that is seems as if their "Starter" button is stuck in the "off" position.

Off all the four Fs, Freeze Types seem to have the deepest and conscious belief that 'people' and 'danger' are synonymous.

While all 4 F Types commonly suffer from social anxiety as well, Freeze Types typically take a great deal more refuge in solitude.

Some Freeze Types completely give up on relating to others and become extremely isolated. Outside of fantasy, many also give up entirely on the possibility of love."

These Types have learned from a young age that fighting back will only get you punished and that fleeing will only get you reprimanded; so, they collapse inwardly instead. Dissociation becomes the name of the game, coasting through life without being attached to it, accepting its blows and distracting themselves from reality with either fantasy or the pursuit of a fantastical idea they want to achieve.

Frank Spotnitz said it best when he reflected on Mulder's character growth and seeking 'The Truth': ""You can't get the truth. You can't. There's a larger truth, though: that you can't harness the forces of the cosmos, but you may find somebody else. You may find another human being. That may be kind of corny and all of that, but that's really it: Love is the only truth we can hope to know, as human beings. That's what Mulder and Scully found after nine years. And that's a lot."

But what about those moments when Mulder runs at danger, demanding answers and yelling down the sky?

**Edit: This is the section i had to refurbish based on proper research.**

Secondary Trauma Responses develop when circumstances are so extreme that a person's initial trauma response is not removing them from danger fast enough; and they then develop a second polar opposite response in the hopes that this will help. More often than not, it simply becomes a ping-pong whiplash between one extreme to the other. The four Hybrids are Fight-Fawn, Fight-Freeze, and Flight-Freeze. In Mulder's case, if he stays frozen for too long he will very quickly become very dead; thus, Mulder developed a secondary response: Flight.

Freeze-Flight (or Flight-Freeze-- potato, potatoh) Types

Below is an excerpt from Pete Walker, but it's so completely Mulder that I have nothing else to add:

"The Flight-Freeze Type is the least relational, most schizoid hybrid. He prefers the safety of "do it yourself" isolationism. The Fight-Fleeze Type avoids potential relationship traumatization with an obsessive-compulsive dissociative two-step. Step One is working to complete exhaustion. Step Two is collapsing into extreme vegging out and waiting until his energy reaccumulates enough to relaunch into Step One. The price for this time of no-longer-necessary safety is a severely narrowed existence."

(**Note for the below paragraph: the author is not talking about alpha/beta in the current, dilapidated vernacular. Think of it as an academic term describing more aggressive or assertive behavior as compared to more passive or dismissive behavior.)

"The Flight-Freeze cul-de-sac is more common among men, especially those traumatized for being vulnerable in childhood. This then drives them to seek safety in isolation, or "intimacy lite" relationships. Some non-alpha type male survivors combine their flight-freeze defenses to become stereotypical technology nerds. Telecommuting is, of course, their preferred modes.

Flight-Freeze Types are the computer addicts who focus on work long periods of time and then drift off dissociatively into computer games, substance abuse, or sleep binging. FF Types are prone to becoming porn addicts: when in Flight mode, they obsessively surf the net for phantom partners and engage in compulsive masturbation. When in Freeze mode, they drift off into Right-Brain sexual fantasy world if pornography is unavailable. Moreover, if they are an intimacy-light relationship, they typically engage more in with their idealized fantasy partners than with their actual partner during real-time sexual interactions."

An interesting note: these types are often misdiagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, which explains why some fans theorize that an Oxford graduate-FBI field agent might be on the spectrum (Mulder isn't: it's a symptom of him coping very, VERY badly.)

Mulder's Freeze-Flight response kicked in sometime after his sister's abduction, since his primary Freeze response "prevented" him from saving her (even if he couldn't do anything to help.)

Since then, Mulder has buried all trauma or deep emotion in the bowels of his work in the basement, printing them out as X-Files to brand his work as his life.

For all of Mulder's talk about disliking others for dismissing something that cannot be explained, labeled, or categorized, when he can't do it himself, he goes berserk: first freezing, horrified, before he launches with righteous fury into his work, demanding answers and running himself ragged.

A potent demonstration of Mulder's yo-yo-ing Freeze-Flight Response is the Russian Roulette showdown in Pusher: Mulder more readily accepts his own death than Scully, terrified but determinedly compliant... until she becomes the next target of Modell's mind games.

It's a pattern that has already been established since her abduction, and which repeats for her cancer (and every perilous moment after and in-between.)

An important

There are countless examples where Mulder disconnects from reality in the face of great grief, ala his father's death, CSM and Diana Fowley's oily plan in One Son, and-- especially-- his mother's suicide.

In all these instances, Mulder immediately ran into work mode, trying move the world by force and come up with an explanation-- any-- to make everything right. When he is forced to sit and deal with tragic loss, his Flight peters out, leading him back to square one: an unhealthy Freeze Response.

Luckily for him, Scully is a stable, reliable support; and coaxes him into properly grieving by not sugarcoating the Truth, thereby helping him turn into healthier coping mechanisms (if he wants to use them-- he doesn't in Paper Hearts, but he does in Sein und Zeit. Baby steps.)

In short: Mulder is a Freeze-then-Flight man.

Why Mulder Isn't a Fight, Flight, or Fawn Type

To make quick work of this, I'll rely mainly on Pete Walker quotes again and add my commentary after his statements:

"A Fight [Trauma] Response is triggered when a person suddenly responds aggressively to something threatening.... Fight Types are unconsciously driven by the belief that power and control can create safety, assuage abandonment, and secure love." Extreme Fight Types often become bullies or narcissists to their loved ones as well as their enemies if left unchecked. They are demanding, demeaning, and punishing, equating strength as exerted power over someone weaker. They usually grew up in homes where they had to fight back against physical abuse or protect others from it. This translates to a bitter outlook on the world, always suspicioning the motives of others in cruel or judgmental ways.

(Note: Not much of the above is directly related to Bill Scully-- or Bill Mulder, even, see my previous post about him here-- but his natural bent is Fight above the other 3 F Types. Doesn't mean he's a bully or a narcissist; just that those would be his extremes.)

As we have seen through the entire series, Mulder as an atypical American masculine archetype: he does not resort to violence, preferring to save victims and even villains, willing to give everyone a second chance (and, by extension, giving backstabbers a clear target for their next strike.) The only time he has exerted violence over another was as a last possible extreme to stop a threat (shooting Modell, shooting the Peacock brothers, shooting Schnauz, shooting Roche, etc.)

Back to Walker:

"A Flight Response is triggered when a person responds to a perceived threat by fleeing; or, symbolically, by launching into hyperactivity. .... Extreme Flight Types are like machines with a switch stuck in the 'on' position. They are obsessively and compulsively driven by the unconscious belief that perfection will make them safe and loveable. They rush to achieve. They rush as much in thought in action, compulsion."

I will be talking about this response a little bit more in a follow-up post; but the core with this character is their ability to distract themselves from their problems into oblivion. Mulder's pains and sorrows and traumas are a constant of his life, eating away at his heart and shoving themselves in his face every day. The difference between his obsessive work ethic and a Flight Type's work ethic is the motivator: he is dabbling in his fantasy, building empires from ideas and discovering new kingdoms with every possibility; while Flight Types have ceased to function at all, robotically going from task to task until they overload or shut down.

And, lastly, back to Walker for the Fawn Trauma Response:

"Fawn Response is triggered when a person responds to threat by trying to be pleasing or helpful in order to appease and forestall an attacker.... Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs, and demands of others. They act as if they believe that the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of all their needs, rights, preferences, and boundaries. The disenfranchisement of the Fawn Type begins in childhood... learns early that a modicum of safety and attachment can be gained by becoming the helpful and compliant servant of... exploitive parents." (As an aside, this Type is also formed from having at least one narcissistic parent.)

While Mulder is often used by those around him, he never loses the core of who he is to their abuse: when Phoebe comes knocking, he may set aside the case to (try to) get some hotel action; but he's still self-aware of his and her actions, disentangled enough to self-deprecatingly (and knowingly) smirk when he catches her red-handed with another man. When his father or mother weave in and out of his life with their soft or outspoken demands, he doesn't bend from the Truth, risking his relationships continually for It. He is willing to tell Scully to her face she is lying to him; and he is willing to sacrifice what new closeness they've achieved if he believes she's being purposefully blind or obtuse. Mulder, while reliant on Scully as his human credential, is not co-dependent on her: he can stand on his own two feet, even if she were to walk out of his life. The wounds would go deep; but he would dissociate from life (like he had in Little Green Men) not erode away completely.

(As an aside, that's why probably why Mulder would have committed suicide in Gethsemane but not during the Break Up Years TM. Post IWTB Scully, while she had walked away from their life together, was still a part of his reality; whereas, S4 Scully would have been dead, deceased, gone from existence... and Mulder could never escape that, no matter how much he dissociated from it.)

How Mulder Can Use His Freeze Response Healthy

In a nutshell, a person should work through their traumas so they can pick among the 4 Trauma Responses for the healthiest outcome in each situation: Fight for healthy boundaries, Flight for healthy retreat and perseverance, Freeze for healthy awareness and distanced assessment, and Fawn for healthy assertive listening and peacemaking. Unhealthy childhoods create fixations on one of these four; and it takes a while to learn the patterns and triggers in one's life and how to manage them.

For Mulder, he grew exponentially through the years, becoming less detached and more engaged with "life on this planet" (growing from a sarcastic S1 recluse to a more emotionally honest person in S2 to a more openly supportive person in S3 to a transformed heart-on-his-sleeve man in S4-5 to someone who can find joy in S6 and peace in S7 and recreation in S8. Is there canon after that?) So, as it stands, he's doing just fine. Because if one truly searches for the Truth it might not be aliens: it might just be a whole, happy life and how to enjoy it.

And there you have it, folks!

Scully will get her own follow up, soonish (though if you don't want to wait that long, she's a pretty obvious *spoiler* Flight Type. No one's really surprised because of what happened in Fight the Future.)

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

*Note*: There are four main trauma Responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn (taken from the book Complex CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker-- see Disclaimers section below for info.) In short: Fight Types responds to stress by physical intimidation or verbal bullying; Flight Types run as far as they can from danger or distract themselves from it as much as possible; Freeze Types disassociate, seeing fight and flight as futile and becoming numb to life; Fawn Types try to win favor from their oppressor, leaning co-dependently on others.

**Note**: Most of the information was obtained from Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker, a private counselor and lecturer for thirty-five years. As a victim of CPTSD himself, he made a study of its victims and helped craft a system for CPTSD recoverees to understand themselves and progressively heal. (Highly recommend his book-- excellent.)

***Note***: I will ghost edit later. Brb.

#txf #meta #xf meta #x-files #xfiles #the x files #Mulder #Fight Flight Freeze or Fawn #4 F Trauma Responses #Kitsunegari #S5 #analysis #Frank Spotnitz #quote #Fight #Flight #Freeze #Fawn #trauma #he's doin' all right #Updated

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Fight, flee, freeze, fawn, go into a disassociated state where you don’t feel anything but your hands are shaking and you just know you’ll break down later but you can’t yet, you lost that ability

#vent #tw vent #fight flight freeze or fawn #fight or flight #fight flight or freeze #trauma #disassociation #unhealthy coping mechanisms #coping #coping mechanisms

[rapeculturerealities]

Art by Sarah Burgess

#trauma response #infographic #Trauma #Fight flight fawn freeze

[fox-guardian]

today i am thinking about tim's freeze response.

in ep 104, in his statement about danny, he beats himself up over the fact that he couldn't bring himself to move when he saw "danny" up on the stage in the covent garden theatre

[ID: A transcript screenshot reading "I always tell myself there was some force there. Something that held me in place and meant that all I could do was watch. But sometimes when I think back, I remember how my legs shook, and maybe I could move. Maybe I’m just a coward." end ID] ~~~~

and then in ep 39 sasha had to Tackle Him to get him out of prentiss' way after his whole joe spooky bit because he just Didn't Move apparently

[ID: A transcript screenshot reading:

SASHA: Behind you! Run! TIM: Oh… PRENTISS: [Slowly intoning over worm sound] Do you hear their song? SASHA: TIM! [IMPACT, WORMS AND SCUFFLING]

end ID] ~~~~

worm sounds and a full sentence after going "oh" and sasha STILL needed to tackle him.

i don't really have anywhere i'm going with this i'm just thinking about it really hard

#ramblings with major #the magnus archives #tma #tim stoker #this man will be the death of me #also YES these are the bits i wanna animate if you simply Must Know #also i wonder if each OG archive person has their own main fear response #if i had to pin one to each character i'd say martin is fight tim is freeze ig jon would be flight and idk about sasha #there's also fawn but i don't really get fawn vibes from her #her fear response is 'roll with it' jasdlkajdkj #sasha and jon are hard to pinpoint cuz they're very. they lack self preservation but anywhoodle

[skunkes]

not so easy

#alt caption was: freeze #or even flight fight fawn [freeze] #or something about how enforcing is the hard part (contrast with the Establishing) #a doodley #tw sex assault #tw sex abuse #tw self harm #<- i suppose #he's much better at using his claws now. so much better he himself gets caught in the crossfire #so much better that they barely discriminate between targets anymore #oc text #also god even implying stuff understandably makes me feel so Wagh! i wanted to just put this under a read more

[breadandblankets]

batfam prank wars are pretty infamous but there are generally guide rules to be followed like don't trigger someone's ptsd etc etc

however, one of the rules added when Duke started staying at the manor was Do Not Startle Him

the first time Damian jumped out of the shadows at him Duke startled so bad he became a one man solar flare and half the kids had to be benched until the spots faded

#his mom does the same thing in reverse #you startle her and she just fucking shadow travels across the room #poor doug being their token Normal Guy #this was the logical conclusion to duke glowing as a reflex #the five fs #fight flight freeze fawn flashbang #batfam #dc #duke thomas #damian wayne #cause he is technically mentioned #batman #bread talk

[furiousgoldfish]

being around abusers:

high alert: you never know when the abuse is coming

hyper-focusing on the abuser's mood, you're only allowed to feel relief if the abuser seems to be in a good mood, distracted, or focused on somebody else

constant vigilance because they might decide to focus on you any second and you need to be ready

unable to focus on your tasks because you're tense and waiting to see if they'll want something from you, want to do something to you, or start to verbally abuse, provoke, insult, taunt, criticize or humiliate you

always aware of the physical distance between you and how much it would take them to cross it; reaction of panic if they turn your direction or show intent of approaching

quickly forced to think of an escape plan or a fight plan if they do keep approaching you because it is already an intimidation and likely to escalate in violence

anxiety if you're prompted to speak; you are not allowed to say anything positive about yourself or it will be challenged and mocked, you are usually asked to volounteer information and you will be attacked if you refuse. But if you do give info, it will be used against you.

constant effort needs to be put in controlling the amount of rage, or alternatively, helplessness you feel in their presence. You are not allowed to show any symptoms of it, or symptoms of panic

desperate use of logic and rationality in the face of senseless and cruelty of the abuse; you're trying to explain why the abuser should not say and do horrid and cruel things to you, and why you don't deserve it, only for them to do it worse and insist that they're 'saying the truth' or 'listing the imaginary reasons you do deserve it (you are not a person to them)'

attempts to defend yourself from the abuse or exploding and attacking back, only to immediately be accused of abuse and cruelty and 'lack of self control' while the abuser is not even affected by your attempts

the abuser getting anyone in the vicinity to side with them and to participate/enable the abuse, making you feel like your entire environment is hostile and dangerous, and like you are not a person to anyone

All of these can feel normal when you're used to living like that, or if you've grown up in this environment. Having to constantly defend and prove yourself and to have be hyper-focused on those around you and anxiously anticipate their every move, can feel like a normal experience if you haven't experienced any other home environment. This is not normal. If this is how you live, you are living in abuse. None of this should be inflicted at you.

#experiencing abuse #i thought all of this was just normal family environment #psychological abuse #development of cptsd #traumatic environment #child abuse #emotional abuse #fight flight fawn freeze response #long term abuse #long term trauma #abusive parents #abusive partners #living in fear #living in stasis of expecting abuse

[super-sparkle-mikakay-world]

Somehow MTMX managed to get every trauma response accounted for in one set of characters.

#svsss #fight flight freeze fawn

[moonlit-positivity]

What Does PTSD Hypervigilance Look Like?

Tw: activating language, body triggers, nervous system dysregulation, & fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses listed below. Please read with care.

Constantly checking outside by slightly peeking out the hole in the blinds so no one knows youre looking out the window

Listening & memorizing footstep patterns of those who live with you

Memorizing schedules & when people leave the house to know when you can move through the house alone

Tip-toeing or walking in a certain way to make your steps have less noise

Holding your breath or controlling your breathing to make as little noise as possible

Being extra aware of how everything is laid out on the table, where every single item in the pantry, fridge, etc is so when you take something you can put it back undisturbed

Eating food or taking things out of the fridge in a way that makes it seem like you never took anything out

Being constantly aware of how loud your own body is (ie chewing too loud, breathing too loud, walking too loud, not laughing, not crying, mastering the art of being silent)

Making sure the TV was on the same channel/app it was before you turned it on (this one's for us older gens, before we had these smart TVs there was a time when analog TV left a trail of previously watched channels so you'd have to wipe the remote clean before you got caught)

Erasing texts

Having people stored in your phone under false contacts bc your parents/abusers/etc would search your phone

Not able to keep personal photos on your phone for same reasons

Not being able to keep things in your room bc your parents would search your room

Not being able to keep things hidden in your backpack either for the same reasons

Keeping everything hidden at school or asking someone else's to keep them

Not able to keep a diary or journal bc someone would read it even if you asked them not to they wouldn't care and read it anyway

Not having a door on your room or having the door removed

Being told you have no privacy because you "belong" to them

Erasing your tracks with everything you do

Listening for car noises, car door slams, and memorizing the way the engine sounds so you can instantly hear when people get home

Memorizing car sounds or always looking out the window to see if someone has pulled up

Checking every house window in your field of view every second of the day

Constantly watching the front door even though it's closed and locked

Constantly watching your room door

Not being comfortable with things out of your line of sight

Constantly having the TV silent or low volume so you don't make too much noise & also so you can hear better

Memorizing daily life schedules, like when your housemates eat, use the bathroom, get up & walk around so you can be constantly aware of everyone at all times

Not making direct eye contact out of fear that it will spark a conflict

Being constantly aware of tone of voice, inflection, etc in case they're going to verbally abuse or degrade you or humiliate you

Being hyper aware of someone entering your personal space

Flinching

Flinching when someone walks by you

Flinching when someone reaches over you

Flinching when anticipating to get hit

Freezing & paralysis anytime something goes off pattern

Never being able to tell tone over text/ always needing to clarify if someone is mad at you

Not being able to physically get up and walk around the house unless you know you're in a safe position to do so

Not being able to physically get up to use the bathroom unless you're in a position to know it's safe to move around the house undetected

Waiting until everyone goes to bed in order to move around the house or relax

Holding your breath & tensing your muscles

Dissociation & brain fogs

Agoraphobia

Fear of being perceived

Fear of being abandoned

Fear of being seen

Fear of being judged

Fear of being hit

Fear of being alive

Fear of failing

Fear of being alone

Fear of not being good enough

Fawning

Grovelling

People pleasing

Staying silent because it will be less likely to cause a conflict

Hiding your emotions & masking

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #trauma awareness #effects of abuse #hypervigilance #nervous system #fight flight #freeze response #fight flight freeze fawn #codependency #child abuse #abusive parents #toxic parenting #bpd #actually traumatized #actually borderline #paranoia

[theraspberryone]

Hiiii! Welcome to "Me discovering that I can talk about my random thoughts on Psychology and MHA cause those two have been hyperfixations for years and Tumblr is the best place to talk like that" .

Today, the "Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn!" Part 1 : The Todoroki Siblings"

So, those four are considered to be the different ways to react to confrontation, the three first are said to be the most used but I recently found the Fawn too and it's very interesting!

And with that, the Todoroki siblings! And how they all portray a different version of it!

1st, we have Toya, he's a full Fight. When confronted by his dad, Toya always confronted back. He verbally tried multiple times to prove his point to his dad, and kept coming back to him despite the yelling and fighting. He even tried to be physically fighting against his dad's confrontations. And now years after, he still comes for the physical and verbal Fight, it became his default mode

2nd, we have Fuyumi. And she is the perfect Fawn. When confronted, the Fawns are people who keep a low head. They are usually the people pleasers. They get confronted and their only way to react is to say nothing, try to be peacemakers, have good grades, do all chores without complaining : they become the perfect, silent one to keep the confronting person on a calm behaviour.

3rd, Natsuo. He's a Fight/Flight (all Todoroki boys react by Fight in some ways, unfortunately got it from their dad). Natsuo as we can see in the episode where Izuku and Katsuki comes to eat, doesn't react any good way to his dad presence. A few words and he already tries to leave the room, so the Flight. Flight people will only try to avoid confrontation by avoiding every single thing that brings them to it, including the very own person that confronts. But when stuck in a situation where he HAS to talk, Natsuo goes to Fight. He'd rather not say anything but since he DOES have to say something, might as well comfront him (Endeavour) back

And 4th, Shoto, who has a Fight/Freeze reaction. Freeze because he said nothing, did nothing to avoid the situation and confrontation. Yes, he was forced to be that way by his dad, maybe he could have been like Toya or Natsuo, but he was used to young to be like that, and just stayed calm and listening to his dad's orders. BUT not completely! He still fought back by not listening to his dad and only using his ice side, he could have listened to 100% but no, he still chose to risk confrontation because he showed he was against it. He's becoming way more of a Fight since the talk with Midoriya though, finnaly saying and acting freely, because his dad doesn't have such a pressure on him anymore, forcing him into a Freeze.

Thanks to have been there for my little talk, if you have anything, professional or not to say or ask you can gladly interact I'l be very happy! ♡♡♡

Part 2 : The League of Villains

#boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #bokunoheroacademia #my hero academia #fight #flight #freeze #fawn #shoto todoroki #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #toya todoroki #dabi #todoroki #endeavor

[ash-says]

To all my folks who have been constantly on survival. To those who don't know what life is other than that. To those who were rejected by their own parents. To those who never had a place they can call home. To those who always look forward to the future no matter how dark the past and present can be. To those who try to voice out what they are going through but it falls on deaf ears. To those who try to fight their fears no matter how terrifying it turns out to be. To those who try to believe the good in people no matter how many times it backfired. To those who are ostracized and outcasted by their peers. To those who always find themselves putting on a brave facade. To those who wish and pray for calm but the chaos is already stuck within them.

I know how it feels to be in your shoes.

I know how tiring and draining it is.

But you know what is more tiring? Being stuck in that hell hole.

Accepting it as your reality and not taking steps to make it better.

It doesn't matter what you were presented with, it's your duty to not only survive but Thrive!!

The ache in your chest and being unable to breathe every time you face some situation is your body's signal that you are under attack and tremendous stress. Instead of being a nervous wreck, what do you choose to do?

Let me help you.

You breathe in deep and breathe out. Collect yourself together. Be composed and face the challenge head on.

You can get scared and cry later in the washroom alone.

Wire yourself in such a way that when pushed into a corner the first thing your brain does is mental calculations to solve the issue with least damage possible.

Until and unless you are not safe and sound the trauma shouldn't hit you.

Train your body to never go into the Freeze mode. We either fight or flight.

Freeze? What are you a packet of ice??

#gaslight gatekeep girlboss #dark feminine energy #girlblogging #glow up #it girl #self care #self love #that girl #becoming that girl #becoming her #level up journey #level up #trauma #trauma survivor #healing #mental health #toxic people #ptsd #fight flight freeze fawn #tw depressing thoughts #adhd #it girl aesthetic #that girl aesthetic #pink pilates princess #dream girl #dream girl aesthetic #ash-says #coquette #coquette aesthetic #pink pilates girl

[soldier-poet-king]

Welp. Gotta tell my boss tmrw. Tmrws the day. I'm. Well. This is going to be awful and I am so anxious and I'll probably cry a whole lot AND she's gonna be mad, or at least Very Disappointed, with me. Plus then still having to work with her for a bit. Plus all the nerves and stuff about starting at the NEW place. Which while I'm excited I'm also v nervous BC what if it's TOO challenging and I'm stupid and I fail and I can't do this thing that I want and love and I fuck up my career and I'll never have a good job again and everything will be bad. Forever.

I am trying to built a life I can love but it is Very Hard

#the duality of fran #like uhm. uh. its uh. yeah. #i have a guilt complex and im a ppl pleaser #ans my reaction to stress and uncertainty is fawn #yknow fight flight freeze fawn #i am a FAWNER #i have a deep seated fear of uncertainty #and esp of financial instability #and its perhaps. ridiculous. but it is SO REAL to me #and so im catastrophizing again

[itspixthecrazybitch]

#fight or flight #fight flight freeze or fawn #trauma #meme #dark humor #mental illness jokes #tw: mental illness #mental illness #humor as a coping mechanism #funny

[federaliszt]

Fight/Flight/Freeze

Character whose past trauma activates the f/f/f response in all the wrong contexts and in perfectly safe situations:

when their best friend sneaks up on them from behind to give them a surprise hug. cue shouting, broken noses, dishes or glasses shattering as the character sprints out of the room for no apparent reason.

or an unbearably long and awkward amount of paralysis as they replay horrible memories in their head and their friend tries various ways to get them back to earth.

when a loud noise at an amusement park or fireworks show has them slipping away from their friend group or family and pushing through the crowds to go cower in a corner somewhere alone, hands itching for any sort of weapon, body frozen in a self-protective crouch.

when the fight response causes them to accidentally injure someone much weaker than they are, like a tied-up prisoner or a younger teammate. the guilt and horror that washes through them as they realize that what they did with their loss of self-control mirrors what was done to them.

when the freeze response gets activated in the middle of a natural disaster or a chaotic fight. their teammates are screaming at them to move, to get to safety, but the character just stands there, swaying on the spot, like they can't even hear anyone else at the moment, lost in their own private world of pain.

the way that after any of these, the character might try their hardest to cover it up and pretend they were just startled or surprised, frantically fumbling for excuses even while their heart is still beating a million miles an hour in their chest and their hands still won't stop shaking and they're still fighting back the urge to lie down and wrap themselves in a blanket and cry.

#fight/flight/freeze #fawn response is a good one too #though I think that one takes a very careful psychological scalpel to get it right #whumpril2024 #whumpril2028 #whump prompts #hurt/comfort prompts #h/c prompts #past trauma #trauma response #i could write ten million fics of this and still never be tired of writing or reading it #its one of the best ones for me #the confusion and angst and de facto unbearable pain #idk why but it gets me every time

[unwelcome-ozian]

#trauma responses and their origins #fight respons #flight response #freeze response #fawn response #trauma response #trauma recovery #abuse recovery

[hauntedselves]

What Survival Looks Like at Home

From 'What Survival Looks Like at Home' by Helen Townsend, from Beacon House & Inner World Work (PDF)

Quick cheat sheet:

Noticing Freeze

Bored, not interested

Confused, forgetful

Distracted, not listening

Clumsy

Talking about something else

Not moving to where you’ve asked

Scanning the room

Wide eyed, pupils might dilate

Daydreaming, staring into space

Grounding Freeze

Stay with me, don’t leave me

Tell me I’m ok & that I am safe

Watching TV

Deep breathing

Spinning on a swing

Climbing & hanging

Rolling or cycling down a hill

Digging in mud or sand

Jumping on a trampoline

Do my chores with me

Gently wonder where I have gone & invite me back to you

If I have forgotten what I was supposed to be doing, remind me again gently

Hot chocolate & toast

A warm bath & a warm towel

A soft teddy for bedtime

Noticing Flight

Hyperactive, manic, silly

Aggressive, threatening: stiffening up, clenching fists

Running away, escaping, disappearing, hiding under the table/bed/sofa

Clumsy

Disruptive, loud & noisy

Can’t cope with free play

Can’t follow house rules

Not doing what you’ve asked

Lonely

Keeping super busy

Baby talk/silly voices

Bumping into people

Needing to get into the car/house/park first

Grounding Flight

Keep me close by

Find me again happily or patiently

Deep breathing

Give me a familiar & easy chore

Crunchy foods – carrot sticks, a biscuit, a rice cake or crisps

Tell me that I am safe with you

Hanging from monkey bars

Talk through what you think I am finding tricky using a kind voice

Heavy blankets

Create a safe space where I can hide away I when I need to

Tug of war

Cup of warm milk or hot chocolate

Hot water bottle & a soft teddy

Recognize I sometimes find 'normal' family life threatening

Accept that if I feel threatened, I feel in real danger.

If you send me to do something & I forget, just patiently ask again

Noticing Fight

Hot and bothered

Argumentative, angry and aggressive

Controlling, demanding and inflexible

Lie or blaming

Unable to concentrate on one thing

Unable to follow the house rules

Confrontational

Disrespectful

Disregarding of others, pushing away friends/family members

Shouting, loud and noisy

Immature

Grounding Fight

Tell me you love me even when my I push you away

Don’t punish me for being cross; reward me with your kindness and love for getting calm again

Keep me safe from hurting myself

Match my energy

Deep breathing

Chewy foods

Support me socially

Hanging, swinging and climbing

Warm bath with lots of bubbles

Warm milk or a hot chocolate

Hot water bottle

A super soft teddy and/or blanket

Give me a task that makes me feel important

Connect with me and show me empathy before exploring the consequences of my behavior

Create somewhere safe to go to so I can calm down

Make things predictable. Tell me about changes before they happen, especially if strangers are coming to the house or I’m going somewhere new

Accept I might not know why I behaved in that way & I might not remember what happened

Listen and acknowledge how I feel, even if you see it differently, it will help me feel listened to

Noticing Submit

Unhappy, low mood

Alone or withdrawn

Fidgety but not disruptive, anxious

Never questioning or asking questions

Never drawing unnecessary attention

Yes or no answers - doing just enough to avoid being noticed, unable to think

Quiet & passive, compliant

Grounding Submit

See me, listen to me

Give me small repetitive things to do

Weighted blanket

Building with Lego or Play-doh

Tell me I am safe

Deep breathing

Swinging

Let me spend quiet time just with you

Understand that social media might symbolizes a comforting connection

Hot chocolate and a crunchy biscuit

Wrap me up in a soft blanket & watch TV

Understand that playing computer games, lets me be by myself somewhere safe

Recognize I am hurting inside & might need professional help

Know that I am easily bullied, look out for this, don’t expect me to tell you.

Notice I will say what I think you want me to say

Be aware that I am an easy target & can be coerced easily to keep the peace

Know I can't cope being the center of attention

Watch for me removing myself

Warm bath and a warm towel

Warm pyjamas

#meant for parents adopting traumatised kids. but i think it's good for anyone to recognise & soothe trauma responses in themselves/others #esp if you have child parts (in a DID way or a CPTSD/BPD/IFS etc way #described #described in alt text #long post #described in post #too many words for the alt text for that last one ! #trauma #trauma responses #freeze #fight #flight #fawn #submit #dogpost