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#I’ve also watched a lot of Rocky recently and that’s been good too
xoteajays · 10 months
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Oh! I did message you in instant messages. I can't always remember who I message someone. And I know that I send long messages that not everyone likes. So there's also that reason too.
Yeah. The High&Low franchise came out eight years ago. So you wish there was more people who still created content for the H&L fandom.
Which is bizarre to me? Because High&Low was a popular franchise when it came out, but now there seems to be nothing for the fandom. Especially because there are similarities between High&Low, Worst and Tokyo Revengers. Pretty boys who are delinquents. [I've only ever seen the Worst crossover movie with High&Low, not even the original series. So I can't comment much on Worst.]
Chimknj also wrote another High&Low story. Well.. There story would be a one shot, a one chapter story. Not that you have to read it. But it is a smutty story between Rocky and his girlfriend (original character) - during the events of the first movie.
And, I think, there is a person who's under the name FireOfJudgment on here. They have H&L stories, and AIB stories too. But I don't know what characters or ships they write for though. In case you may want to search their work. They might be an option for you.
It's best for me to write notes for ideas to stories, and characters, and who knows what else while being involved in the fandom. Because if I try writing when I'm not in any fandom, then my thoughts and ideas... I became fickle and scattered on what I want to write. It's a problem.
Being in a fandom makes me more focused to write for that fandom. If that makes any sense.
I mean.. The color coordination to my characters was accidental for me. Because I tend to go for a specific appearance for my characters, I was very adamant about using those people for my face claims but I wasn't sure for what fandom - and I probably will use them for a lot of other fandoms too. Most likely. But not sure which other fandoms yet though. Anyway. Anyway.. But one person's favorite color is blue, one is orange, and another is red which eventually became their signature colors. So I unconsciously connected them to their respective gangs, which is kinda funny because their personalities actually seem fitting for those gangs too. And since the High&Low cast of characters have been predominantly men, I wanted more female characters involved in the story. But there have been a few things I've been stick on lately.
i am just hella awful at answering my private messages. i’ll be like ‘ill reply to that in a bit’ and then completely forget.
it’s just weird. like fandoms used to stick around for longer and h&l is still relatively recent. like 2016 wasn’t even a decade ago yet! everybody go watch h&l and feel emotions you didn’t expect about a pretty boy gang show. the song ‘break into the dark’ literally got me F*cked Up, everybody go watch the unofficial music video.
i will absolutely go read a smutty fic, that’s half of what i’ve been reading lately anyway. love me an explicit fic. and rocky has grown on me, do really like that dude.
i used to be really good at writing short original stories, but now i find it a bit harder. need that high school inspired brain back. fanfics do come a bit easier for me, but i also second guess myself a lot and some stuff i don’t end up posting or even finishing. which is a shame bc it’s supposed to be a fun hobby. i definitely need a fandom to obsess over or i just go totally blank in the brain.
im so bad at colour coordinating my ocs, i can rarely ever decide on what colour suits them best. idk if anyone’s noticed how many light blue or pink characters i have ahsjdl. my own h&l oc kinda started as an oya oc and then developed into something more and got switched around a bit, i think i’m mostly happy with where she’s at rn tho. im having a lot of fun with her.
h&l is definitely lacking in the female character department. like even the strawberry milk girls don’t get a whole lot of screen time like i thought they would, which is a shame bc i think they’re cool and i love pink. i think naomi got the most screen time out of all the girls and even that wasnt a whole lot. n-e-way yamato’s mum and the bartender lady are, like, definitely gfs tho, that’s my hc.
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adhdandme124 · 2 years
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Sunday 23rd October 2022
Hello!
So breakdown of last week - improvement to last week but mood is still a bit rocky.
Monday I felt iffy due to not sleeping well and then having an early lecture and battling through school traffic to get to class. Traffic makes me so anxious.
I’ve been really struggling to sleep recently and it’s not been good, I’m not sure what it is? I’ve always struggled with sleep so I’m hoping with my next mentoring session we can put stuff in place for a good morning & evening routine.
Which leads me onto Tuesday. Tuesday was okay, except for labs. I have identified that I have performance anxiety. I hate labs as I feel like people are watching and ugh. I had my mentoring in which we finished my safety plan in depth which I love and found very helpful - I will print off soon so me and Matt can see it. I also joined a local support group called SAD and it was nice, although I struggle listening to other peoples experiences as it gets to me thinking about people being so low.
Wednesday was poop, I was too anxious to go to my lessons so I didn’t and Matt got angry with me about this. I can’t help with feeling anxious still about going out, I also went out with him and his friends in which matts mum and dad had to come get me and bring me to their house as I was just so overwhelmed with being out. I started making a Christmas wreath whilst waiting for Matt to come back to their house.
Thursday was meh, we went back home and I had my dentist appointment for invasilgn, in which I had to walk which was dreadful. I cried so much on the way there and before leaving as I was so anxious. But I got there, after a nearly 2 hour walk only to get there and be seen straight away for them to be like nah sorry you can’t have it and left gahhh!! Oh well waiting to hear back from them soon.
Friday was boring I was in lab from 9 until 4/5 and like I said before labs aren’t my favourite. I was so bored gahhh. I studied with Matt in the Eldon building and went to the shop there to buy some felt, tapestry needs and tracing paper which was really good stuff. I had a lot of fun in that tiny shop and will use them soon! I didn’t need to go to matts mum and dads on Friday or even over the weekend I was fine :)
Saturday & Sunday: I caught up with work as much as I could and finished my Christmas wreath and also finished my first ever embroidery on the hoops, which was the first bit of embroidery I did to practise weeks ago but never finished it. But I have! I’m not too sure what my plans are for it, maybe keep it on the hoop and give it to someone or make it as a cushion. I also cleaned and tidied up today and yesterday as I get so stressed and upset when everything is a mess and unclean.
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delimeful · 3 years
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(don’t) take this the wrong way (7) (END)
final chapter of dtttww :) i had a lot of fun with this verse so i may take requests set in it in the future, and this might receive some more copy editing later, but for now this is the epilogue!
warnings: mild injury, mild hypnosis, for once no miscommunication :)
-
[Several months later…]
Sunlight trickled down through the water in wavy bands, illuminating the shallows and growing fainter and fainter as the distance from the surface increased.
Virgil didn’t spend much time in the shallows, too wary of being without escape, being made vulnerable to human vessels or poachers. Despite his dark and gloomy aesthetic, he couldn’t go too far into the depths either, simply because his fragile fish bones weren't built for it. His eyes weren’t built for it either, and down there where anything could be lurking, he would need more than speed to avoid danger.
So, on an average, sunny day like this, he could be found miles offshore, in waters that were easily too deep for unsuited humans to reach, but still well-illuminated by the light above.
There were a few old wrecks scattered about the ocean floor here, and though they’d probably been stripped by a pod in the past, he figured he’d go through them and check for anything that was left behind. Things that weren’t useful to a pod could certainly be things that were useful to him, after all.
He’d been poking through the undercarriage of one of the larger ships for an hour or two, relaxed as he ever got. He could take his time. The only creatures around to judge him were the shoals of fish and layers of barnacles built up amidst the metal, wood, and rust.
Actually… Virgil paused in his inspection of an old cutlery set to glance around.
What had happened to the fish?
Through a hole in the ship’s hull, he watched as a broad shadow passed over the ground and ships alike, large enough to belong to a whale.
There hadn’t been a single shred of whalesong above.
Virgil edged further back from the hole, eyeing the outside warily as the shadow receded, leaving behind only wavering sunlight on sand as though it had never been there at all.
There was nothing here that was worth sticking around.
He carefully made his way back to one of the other exits, in the opposite direction of where he’d seen the shadow head, the strokes of his fin cutting through the water with barely a whisper. The porthole was easily wide enough for him, and the ocean stretched out blue and vast before him, a promise of safety if he just moved fast enough.
A moment’s pause, to make sure he didn’t hear or see anything out of place, and then he was out, flitting from rock outcropping to bone reef and scanning the seas above. Not for the first time, he wished his scales were a little less distinctive in the day.
Behind him, an ominous creak.
He froze, and watched with mounting apprehension as a shadow spilled over him, looming closer and darker than before. The silhouette of an arm stretched out, heading towards him…
“Virgil, you must help,” a huge voice pleaded, “I’ve been had.”
He twisted around just in time to see a huge arm flop down onto the floor next to him, kicking up a cloud of sand and panicked burrower fish in the process.
It was wrapped in heavy wire netting from fingertips to forearm, and behind it, a giant mer was pouting at him with the best seal pup eyes he could manage, which, considering who his best friend was, were fairly potent.
Roman was huge, and he was a shark, with teeth and claws designed to shred and tear, and hands that could enclose him entirely-- but his elbows were braced against the ground with delicate balance so he wouldn’t crush anything, and he’d never grabbed for Virgil past that first disastrous encounter, and even now, his brow was furrowing with worry.
“Pufferfish status?” he asked, voice lowered from the dramatic plea of before.
Virgil’s mouth pulled up at the corners without his permission.
Roman was huge, yes, but he was also theatrical and eager and witty, full of sharp return quips for every barb Virgil had to offer.
He could hurt him, but he wouldn’t. Virgil believed that much.
“Prickly for a second, but I’m smooth now,” he answered, shrugging away the last of the tension. “Try not to sneak up on me without a warning click?”
“You have my word,” Roman replied, and if someone had told him months ago that he’d dare to ask anything of a giant mer, he’d have laughed in their faces. Now, Virgil knew that just like all the other requests, Roman would do his best to heed it.
“But really, my fingers are starting to feel numb. Help?” he entreated with a tilt of his head, shifting his net-wrapped hand a little closer.
Virgil rolled his eyes, but his smile didn’t go away, though it tilted more towards amused now. He darted forward, twisting in a spiral around Roman’s hand to try and see the extent of the damage.
“How’d you even manage this? At least I had the excuse of being caught up in a storm,” he snarked, picking at a loose section with his claws. Roman’s fingers twitched a little, and he shot him an apologetic glance.
“I was… perhaps… trying to get a glimpse of those sailors that Logan mentioned patrolled the coast?” Roman offered, more than a little sheepish.
Virgil’s gaze turned sharp in a heartbeat. “Did they spot you?”
Logan had warned both Patton and Roman several times that not many humans would take as kindly to their long-term existence near human settlements as Logan himself had.
“No!” Roman assured, “I was very stealthy, truly, I was just… so focused on being stealthy that I missed the other vessel and the nets it had dragging along behind it. It could have happened to anyone!”
“I seriously doubt that,” Virgil replied dryly. He’d snapped a few of the looser wires with his teeth, but already his jaw was beginning to ache with the strain. “Well, you get to explain this to Specs, ‘cause we’re going to need his expertise in detangling for this one.”
Roman groaned in answer, dropping his head to plonk against the ground.
---
Logan carefully set one foot in front of the other, all of his focus on the thin strip of rock below him.
If he switched his gaze to even a few inches to either side, he’d be faced with the sight of a vertigo-inducing drop to the waves below, one that would have all but the most experienced tightrope walkers dizzy with panic.
His gaze didn’t move, though, unerringly focused on the ground beneath him, and on his own body. There was no need to look at anything but the ledge, a soft presence confirmed in the back of his mind, because he wasn’t going to fall.
Another part of him was skeptical, seeing as he wasn’t known for a lack of clumsiness by most. There was just so much to get distracted by, and it was so easy to look away and miss a curb or accidentally trip over his own feet--
But not now. Now, he was focused on just this one task, a gentle voice dragging his attention back whenever it began to stray. He was hyper aware of where each of his limbs were and where he needed to put them to continue forward, step by careful step.
Only a little farther…
“Logan!”
The harsh call snapped him right out of the trance, and he was abruptly made very aware of both the distance he could fall and the effects that sudden instinctual terror had on his sense of balance.
“Newton’s fucking Cradle,” he swore, and then wobbled again, precariously close to falling over.
There was the sound of water crashing against rock, and in the next moment, two giant hands had curled up on either side of him like the shells of an oyster. They provided him some much needed stability to lean his weight against, and he struggled to steady his breathing as relief swept through him.
“It’s okay, Virgil, I won’t let him fall! No cliffs, ands, or buts about it,” Patton’s voice was muffled, but not enough to miss the pun.
Logan sighed loudly, but he also shifted to let his full weight rest against the curl of Patton’s left palm, tapping twice to let him know it was alright for him to move.
His stomach still swooped slightly as Patton slowly shifted his hands away from the thin rock ledge, but there were some things that one had to adapt to when living with two very affectionate, grabby sea giants, and being toted around was one of those things.
Before long, he was level with the flattest segment of rock that made up their meeting place, which could be called an island if one was feeling gracious, but was really more of a collection of rocky spires and bridges that stuck out of the ocean.
Logan was barely able to sit up before Virgil pulled himself up at the edge of Patton’s palm, expression thunderous but his hands gentle as he carefully checked him over for scrapes or injuries.
“Nearly gave me a heart attack,” he grumbled, a phrase that he used much more frequently around Logan for some reason. Logan had already been reassured that it was an exaggeration and Virgil had no heart problems he knew of, so instead of worrying, he bore his friend’s fussing with good grace. “Did we or did we not agree that you need a spotter if you want to play around with bullshit sirensong magic?”
The mer paused. “No offense, Pat.”
“None taken!” Patton replied from where he had sunk further into the water to put himself closer to eye-level.
“I figured you would be along shortly,” Logan defended, and then perked up at the reminder of his most recent experiment. “Besides, one of the things tested in this trial was if the siren song could overshadow significant fear or even terror, and I wouldn’t have been nearly as afraid if you’d been there with me.”
“Aw,” Roman cooed, curling his tail up and leaning against one of the larger rock outcroppings, his posture slightly off.
Virgil dragged a hand over his face with a sigh, and then flapped a ‘go on’ gesture at Logan, distracting him. “So, what’d you figure out this time?”
Logan needed no further encouragement.
“Even the lightest application of a siren’s song can overwhelm other emotions,” he started, recalling the utter honed focus he had experienced. “While in the past I’ve felt distant or removed from my body while under its effects, this time I had Patton focus on requesting a very specific task, and due to the intense concentration it took, I was very present in the moment while fulfilling that task.”
“You didn’t snap out of it until I called for you,” Virgil interjected, more curious than wary. “Was it harder than normal to use the grounding tactics?”
One of the first things Logan had investigated was what it took for him to resist and even break free from Patton’s song, a task that Virgil had demanded in order to let him run any experiments with the siren’s magic. Back then, Virgil hadn’t expected Patton to agree, and he’d outright sulked for weeks to cover up the nerves he felt whenever the siren thralled Logan.
“It was,” Logan said, his excitement growing as he considered the new information. “Without significant outside stimulus, all of my attention was focused on the task, and so I couldn’t pull away mentally to do my normal grounding techniques!”
“I’ve never heard someone so excited about being hypnotized better,” Roman commented wryly.
“He should get a hypnoprize,” Patton added, and Virgil grinned, because he was a traitor who enabled Patton’s wordplay habits.
“Is there an award for smart people doing dumb things?” Virgil mused teasingly. “Logan could be voted ‘most likely to throw himself into danger in the pursuit of knowledge.’”
“That’s why he has us, Finding Emo,” Roman countered, gesturing extravagantly with one hand. “We would never abandon him to the cruel clutches of his own nerdiness.”
Logan couldn’t help but feel a thrill of pride at the casual way that Virgil ducked beneath one of Roman’s sweeping gestures, no trace of the blatant fear or suspicion that had been present as recently as a month ago.
They’d really come a long way from the misunderstandings of that first encounter, all of them.
A glint of light at the edge of the shark mer’s submerged forearm caught Logan’s eye, and he frowned. “Roman, what’s happened to your arm?”
Roman’s prideful grin dropped into sheepishness immediately. “Well, about that…”
“Princey here was abandoned to the cruel clutches of his own reckless dumbassery,” Virgil informed him, ignoring Roman’s trill of offense to drift back and shove at the hand in question until Roman finally lifted it, displaying the impressive collection of netting that he’d managed to get tangled in.
“Oh, you poor thing,” Patton clucked sympathetically, and Roman soaked in the attention like a very dramatic sponge. Virgil rolled his eyes even as he sawed at a few of the looser wires, and Logan sighed in fond exasperation as he reached for his pocket knife.
Perhaps some things would never change.
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thesunicarusfellfor · 3 years
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Small Actions (Create Big Ripples) CC!Plat!Ranboo x GN!Reader
I've been thinking lately about this little drabble and it makes me a bit upset? Like.. I'm in this position high key but theres nothing I can do about it...
(R/R/n) stands for Ranboo's real name. Also if you're really tall.... No you're not. Shhhh. For plot purposes
You stayed away from social media as much as possible. Now, don't get me wrong, you used to love watching Youtubers play their games and happily interact with their fans.. But growing up, you never seemed to have enough money to donate when they streamed, or go to events where they were.
You had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped you through life, or shaped your personality.. Or saved you. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it..
You'd probably just get a simple, "Aw. Happy I could help." Before turning back to their game without blinking twice.
So, you just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show your appreciation.. But you never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'
Eventually it hurt too much to keep watching the content creators that raised you, so you just stopped and went on with your life.
It was hard, but at least you didn't have to deal with the fact that you would never be able to thank the people you watched for making your life that much better.
As time went on, while you still heard about the creators, it was just... less. Now people were non stop blabbering about these people from something called the DreamSMP?
Your sister was obsessed with it to say the least, and you always heard her mumbling about strange people like Technoblade? Or Sapnap? And apparently some people had children with inanimate objects?! Like a Samsung Fridge and a salmon?! Yeah you didn't even bother trying to understand what she was rambling about most of the times. It just spun your head in circles.
"Okay, I gotta take my mutt to the vet," Your sister and closest friend, (S/n), tilted her head towards the backseat to her dog as you sat in the passenger seat. "You think you'll be good to do the shopping for two or so hours? I'll call when I'm finished, and plus I know how you can get distracted with looking at some things."
"Yeah, I think I'll be good." You nodded slightly, going over the list in your hand of things to get for your classes, food and just some clothing for the changing seasons.
(S/n) pulled into the parking lot and looked you over briefly, "You forgot your mask didn't you?" She watched as your hands flew up to your face to feel for the fabric, but you didn't find it so you fished through the pockets of your sweater before smiling nervously at the driver. "Uuugggggggghhhh. Of course. Okay, I got a new one from the merch store that you can use, but do not damage it! I spent a whole $30 on it!"
Scoffing as you rolled your eyes, you snagged the half white and half black mask away from her, "You and your merch. Honestly, (S/n), your obsession scares me. But anyway, thanks. I won't get it damaged, I swear." You pulled the mask onto your face after giving her a smile and walked into the store as she drove off.
Sighing slightly, you walked in, sanitized your hands, and set off on your journey to find the things you needed. Surprisingly, today seemed to be a good day as you miraculously pulled the card that didn't have the busted wheel!
Humming a soft tune to yourself, you paced up and down aisles in search of (S/n)'s favourite coffee. Pausing for a moment as you scanned the shelves, you finally spotted it and made a noise of anger as you realized it was on the very top shelf. "Oh, I hate it here..." You mumbled, a phrase you had picked up from your sister who was really big on trends like that.
Grumbling to yourself, you stood on the tips of your toes, jumped up and down, even climbed the shelves a small bit, but it just seemed to brush by your fingertips every time. Apparently it had been long enough to the point where someone had wandered into the aisle as well.
"Hey... Uh.. Nice mask? You need help?" A male voice asked very hesitantly making your head turn towards him. He was t a l l and literally could tower over you if you got close enough. He had fluffy dirty blonde hair possibly? It looked a little damp so you couldn't really tell. Rain had been in the weather report, but guess it couldn't hold off long enough. Oddly enough, he was wearing dark sunglasses and the exact same mask as you?
'Maybe he's a fan of one of (S/n)'s fandoms?' You stepped back with a sheepish smile and a blush. "Oh! Yes please! Uhm.. Also, could you tell me about what these masks represent? This is my sister's... And I kinda want to make sure I'm not looking like I'm part of some gang or something."
The tall boy reached up for the coffee before pausing midway through and looking at you in surprise. "You don't know who... Oh, it's just from a Twitch Streamer.." He murmured rather softly as he got the coffee down for you.
With a cheerful "Thank you!" You placed the container in the cart. "Oh? Yeah that makes sense. My sister loves that kind of stuff. Are they... A good person?"
"I-I'd like to think so." He nodded quickly. "Are you not.. Like, a fan of content creators? Like.. Uh.. Dream or (P/F/C)?" (Past favourite creator)
"Well... I mean I used to really like (p/f/c) when I was younger. But it kind of... Saddened me, you know?"
He looked at you again and tilted his head a bit, "Saddened you? Did they do something bad?"
"No no! It's just... I try to avoid joining fandoms, even if they make me really happy while in them despite the toxicity. I really enjoy the people who create content, and I like watching them have fun... It's just.." Were you really gonna spill some personal stuff to some stranger who showed you the slightest bit of kindness? Not originally. But he kept watching you, patiently waiting for you to continue the sentence. "They'll... Never know.. How much they saved me."
"Oh.. I see. Yeah.. I've had that happen a lot. When, I watch this guy's streams," He pulled at his mask for a moment, "People always donate money and tell him how much they appreciate him for getting them through rocky times.. It's heartwarming to say the least but he does sound genuinely thankful."
"Oh that's sweet.. What does he do? Or what's he like?" You asked with a smile, although he couldn't see it, as you crouched down to get something from the sheleves. "Unless you have places to be of course!"
He looked a little surprised at first, "Ah... I got time. It's just.. Kinda nice being able to talk to people again after quarantine..." He trailed off briefly before taking something off the shelf as well and putting it in his basket, "Uh.. The streamer is a popular minecraft player. He recently hit a record during a stream and everyone lost their minds. He's a little painfully awkward at some points but he enjoys playing the games and interacting with his chat."
"Oh he sounds nice! I would definitely want to friends with someone like him!" You chuckled softly before frowning and glancing away. "Oh.. Popular.. So I'd be another comment in the flood of a chat.. Damn. I got a little excited. Oh! My bad, I'm (Y/n). Nice to meet you!" You laughed softly in an attempt to brush off the sad atmosphere you made.
"(R/r/n). But everyone just calls me Ranboo. Nice to meet you too." He sounded as if he was smiling but there was a soft sadness in his tone. "Do you not like popular streamers then?"
"No, it's just... that I had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped me through life, or shaped my personality.. Or saved me.. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it.. I suppose it just left me feeling a bit hopeless and like a broken record of every other fan of theirs. So, I just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show appreciation.. But I never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'.."
Ranboo seemed slightly more upset and he shifted his basket into his other hand, "I don't think it's like that at all.. I believe that streamers and creators truly cherish anyone who even interacts with their videos, and even though they know there's some people in the world who can't say anything or buy their merchandise, the creators still know that they're there. They appreciate everyone who comes along their path, whether they support them by giving them money, criticism or their attention!"
You blinked at how... Passionate your new friend was about this topic before smiling softly. "I guess... It never passed my mind.. Thank you Ranboo.. Hey, you wanna be friends and get to know each other more?"
His expression was unreadable due to the fabric covering his mouth and nose, and the glasses covering his eyes. "Oh! Sure!" He sounded quite happy, so you were guessing that you weren't being too awkward. "Here's my number, as long as you promise to never give it to anyone. Even if someone wants to get to know me, okay?"
You took out your phone and looked at him with a strange expression, but quickly nodded. 'Maybe he is just really strict about his privacy.' Once he gave you the number, you sent a quick text to him to give him your contact in return. "Great! It was wonderful meeting you, I hope we can hang out more often! After.. covid of course."
Eagerly nodding, Ranboo finished writing your contact into his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. "Oh yeah definitely! I'll see you soon, (Y/n)!"
Parting your separate ways, you looked down at the newly added contact, 🤍Ranboo🖤 (Platonic hearts), with a smile.
Maybe small actions weren't as useless as you thought...
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viltrumitesuperboy · 3 years
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The King of a People (Thor x Reader)
Back from hiatus. Gender neutral, can be romantic or platonic. I read longer fics than I write so I feel like I could definitely try to write more with a really good idea. So far I get things that I can write short, but I’d like to try my hand at longer works.
Requested by: anon Would you be willing to write a Thor x reader where the reader is also from Asgard and they’re in the refugee ship after the events of ragnarok and both of them just bond with each other? (Before thanos ruined the party)
Word Count: 1470
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As you watched your homeland explode into dust, you could feel everyone in the ship deflate. Even through the crowd, you could see the king hang his head in silence. The ship began to move away to prevent getting caught in the blast, and Asgard became a dark spot amongst the stars. Eventually, the crowd dispersed when everyone lost sight of what was once their home.
Thor, the king returned to his place, stood from the throne and turned to his rocky friend, who spoke to him in a cheery tone. Thor pat his shoulder and turned to step away from the window. You had been helping a young child who had gotten hurt on the way to the ship. It wasn't a bad scrape, but you helped dress the wound anyway. When you reached to help them stand up, a hand on your wrist stopped you.
"Let me," Thor said.
He held his hand out to the small child, who smiled and grabbed his hand. Thor pulled them up with a gentleness that contradicted the build of his body, and put his hand on their shoulder.
"If you need to find your family, speak to Heimdall. You'll be alright," Thor promised.
The child rushed off to Heimdall, who was helping a few other people.
"Are you missing someone as well?" the god asked, now standing in your line of view.
"No, it's just me," you said. "It's been just me for a while now."
"May I ask why?"
"I was a warrior. Not anymore. I had a vision one night that a great terror would come to Asgard if I remained a soldier. And when I did, she came. I left almost instantly, but it seems it was my fault anyway."
Thor looked thoughtful, and gestured to the hallway that led further into the ship. You followed him in silence.
"Just before I came back, my father told my brother and I of Ragnarok, the end of Asgard. If anyone caused it, it was me. I had to destroy our homeland to stop Hela. Do not blame yourself for anything that has happened because you and every Asgardian are the reason that you have all survived," Thor sincerely told you.
There was a pause, mostly because you didn't know what to say.
"Also, thank you for your service," he rushed out.
"What's that supposed to mean?" you laughed.
"I've heard people on Midgard say it to their warriors. Asgard is so different and we have our traditions, but maybe we should start thanking our warriors. They've all just died to protect a planet that no longer exists. If you are one of the only few left, perhaps thanks are in place."
"Well, thank you for coming back to us. We needed you. Nothing against your brother. It was very peaceful when he ruled, actually."
Thor chuckled, his face now more visible because of his short hair.
"Sounds just like him. I'm going to search for him, if you wouldn't mind," he said.
You bowed and he gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes, continuing to walk down the hallway. He no longer had the regal stance of a prince, but a humbled one of shame and regret. Gone was the arrogant prince you served years ago. In his place was a man beaten down by so many things, but his hope remained.
———
"Thor. If you value your other eye, you will keep that away from me."
"I promise it's nothing bad! I just want to try something."
"I know what you're doing! And when you electrocute me, I am going to stab you!"
You walked into the large piloting room in the ship to see at least a dozen people spread out around the area, watching Thor and Loki bickering. Thor held a goblet of water, and Loki, who looked like he had taken a bath with his clothes on, was backed up in a corner and fending him off with a chair. Brunnhilde was sitting in the large seat, facing them as she played with some device.
"Hey, what's going on?" you asked, stepping up next to Thor.
"Ah, (Y/N)! Recently, I realised that my powers don't come from Mjolnir," he began.
"Don't listen to him!" Loki snapped. "He's trying to pour the water in a path to me so that he can use his powers on the water and electrocute me."
"Thor, do you have anything to say?" you asked, turning to him.
"In my defense, he's the best person to try it on! If we're both hurt, we heal quickly. And he gets to stab me in return, so it's fair," Thor said.
He didn't sound convinced of his own plan, and his eyebrows furrowed.
"So you're telling me you couldn't try it on an inanimate object?"
He paused, thinking to himself.
"I.. suppose not. Come, (Y/N)! We have things to do!"
He placed the goblet on the floor and marched off to one of the hallways. You looked to the prince, then to Brunnhilde, who had given him a towel to dry off with.
"I'm sorry, but I don't want Thor getting into any trouble," you said.
"Then hurry up and follow him. I'm not the one you should be worrying about," Loki replied, glancing at the Valkyrie. "Worry about her. She's an angry girl."
"Just go. Also, convince him to let us stop somewhere for supplies. And alcohol," Brunnhilde said.
You apologised again and ran off, catching a glimpse of a smirk on their faces. When you caught up to Thor, he was waiting for you outside a room.
"Your Majesty, how did you know my name?" you asked.
"Please, call me Thor. I asked Loki. He seemed to know a lot about you."
"Why were you asking about me?"
Thor froze, then began to stammer for a bit. He shut his mouth and walked into the room, as if you'd forget about it. It was funny to see the confident god flustered, and you laughed to yourself as you stepped in to follow.
———
The ship was quiet, as most people had gone to sleep. Because space was always dark, Thor had made set times for sleep to imitate the original night and day of Asgard, which people easily followed. He was their king, after all. Brunnhilde stood beside him as they both looked outside into the enmity space, with stars littered all around. You stepped up the platform to stand beside Thor.
"It's strange knowing that I only got to see Asgard one last time and aid in its destruction," Brunnhilde said.
"We served our people, and that's what matters most," you said. "Thor refuses to let me forget that it's not my fault that I survived and everyone else didn't."
"It's not your fault," Thor said.
"Then why are you blaming yourself?" Brunnhilde asked quietly.
The three of you were silent, until she let out an awkward cough.
"Alright. I'm drinking until I fall asleep. Bye."
She walked away. It was probably the most heart-to-heart you'd get from her.
"She's right. What happened with your sister wasn't your fault, and it wasn't yours either. Ragnarok was supposed to happen, whether we like it or not. And we still have the people, don't we? That's where Asgard truly is."
You turned to look at him. His face was hardened, but his remaining eye told you all you needed. He was so tired of losing people all the time. He lost his brother multiple times without knowing if he'd ever come back. If he lost his people, he'd lose his hope too. You took a step closer to him, leaving only a small space between the two of you.
"Thor, look."
He turned to you, then behind when you gestured to the ship and the few people still hanging around the area.
"Those are your people, and they're safe. They're looking forward to a new life. Even Heimdall understands that he must let go of his original position guarding the Bifrost and to guard his people instead. You need to let go of your past and be the leader that they need."
He turned back to you, and faced forward to the stars.
"There are so many worlds, and it had to be ours that was destroyed," he said, his voice rough. "I don't know what to do next."
"Well, look at all of this."
You gestured to the empty space full of stars and planets.
"You've chosen where we go next, and we have all of this universe to explore," you said. "You've given your people hope. Blaming yourself will not move us forward."
His hand reached for yours and grasped tightly. You held it back just as strong. After a few moments of silence, he exhaled shakily.
"Thank you."
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justmypartner · 3 years
Text
Still Breathing: Chapter 1
Summary: AU | When a case goes sideways, Hailey wakes up in the hospital with a revelation that leaves her evaluating her life. While she recovers at Med, she meets Jay, an aloof, yet intriguing patient that catches her by surprise. The two get to know one another as they take on the task of rediscovering what it’s like to truly live, and eventually learn their lives intersect in more ways than one. 
Writer’s Note: Hi!!! I’ve had this idea for a while and it’s taken me quite a bit to finally get started, but I’m super excited about it. This probably won’t be a weekly fic, but I’ll try and post as frequently as possible. I don’t want to give too much away… but it explores something in the Halstead background that has been referenced, but never fully developed so I really tried to dive deep into what it is and how it would affect Jay. It’s been fun (and somewhat emotional) to work through & I really hope you enjoy!! 
Read on AO3 or below
“Order, Arms,” a voice called out, sending Hailey’s hand back down to her side.
She remained in place, frozen as she resumed attention, fighting hard to conceal the joy spilling out of her. It was her graduation day. She was just sworn in, and for the first time ever, deemed an Officer of the Chicago Police Department. She took in the room from under the low brim of her hat, her lips curling up at the corners as the Department Pipes and Drums began to play. She closed her eyes briefly, relishing in the moment, and when she opened, she was suddenly somewhere else entirely. She was no longer standing in the middle of the Grand Ballroom at Navy Pier. She still wore those same blues from before, slightly older and more worn than they once were, but her bright, green attitude she previously bore was gone. She was exhausted and nervous, sitting before her District Commander in a small and unfamiliar room in Ivory Tower.
“Hailey, I hope I don’t have to remind you that you are not to discuss the case with anyone, nothing you did, nothing you saw, not a single detail that pertains to the operation is to be exchanged until you are told otherwise by the AUSA’s office,” the Commander instructed her, carrying an even tone that made the reason for the meeting hard to discern.
“Yes ma’am,” Hailey affirmed with a simple nod.
“With that being said, I have news for you. There will be a more formal presentation of this news, but for now I get to be the first to tell you,” the Commander spoke, inhaling deeply before continuing. “Officer Hailey Upton, for your outstanding acts of heroism and performance during the aforementioned case, on behalf of the Superintendent of Police, the Bureau of Detectives, and the entirety of the Chicago Police Department, we commend your service with a merit promotion to the ranking of Detective.”
Her brows raised in surprise. After the long stretch undercover, she was just happy to finally be Hailey again, to be in her home, to be able to work with the safety and familiarity of her coworkers. She had spent those weeks hoping the case would lend her a promotion, but she never fully imagined that it would. She was equal parts ecstatic and stunned by the news, but she blinked, and she was transported once again. She was no longer sitting across from her District Commander but from Sergeant Voight in the low light of his office.
“Our only Detective just recently and unexpectedly took furlough. Burgess, Ruzek, Atwater, we’ve been trying to make do with just us, but we’re stretched thin. There’s a spot on our team and we could really use the help. It’s yours if you want it,” his gravelly voice posited.
Before she knew it, those moments that stood out so vividly in her mind became fuzzy images in what seemed like a poorly put together movie, and everything began to fade to black.
When she finally woke, it was to the sound of machines and the low babel of indistinct conversation. As her eyes blinked open, she took in the glimpse of four familiar faces and numerous wires and IVs hooked up to her body.
She hadn’t been in Intelligence long, only about two weeks before she wound up in that hospital room, but she knew from her first day that she had stumbled upon her forever people. She didn’t take the job with this expectation. In fact, she was expecting it to be as rocky as her first time working with the team. Yet, she came to learn that despite the reputation that preceded them, they were some of the most loyal and genuine people she had met in all of her time with the CPD. In only the short amount of time she had been with them, they had clung to her in a way nobody else ever had, developing what she knew to be a lifelong bond. The fact that their faces were the first she saw when she finally came to only affirmed that.
“There she is!” Kevin’s voice rang as they all rose, making their way closer to her bedside.
“Did we get them?” Her voice croaked, and they all nodded in confirmation, looking over to their sergeant to deliver the news.
Her memory of right before everything went dark was fuzzy. She wasn’t exactly sure what caused the injuries that left her aching all over, but everything else, the case, the targets, it was all still fresh in her mind. She didn’t want to talk about the case. She didn’t even want to think about it, but she needed to know if they got them. That everything that happened was worth it. She breathed out, allowing a sliver of tension that had been bottled up inside of her release with it. She watched them nod, and she waited for her boss to tell her what she needed to hear.
“We got ‘em, kid. They’re going down for everything, but most importantly for what they did to you,” he assured. She nodded, flinching at the surge of pain that came with the small movement.
“Okay, everybody. I need some time with the patient if you don’t mind,” the doctor announced as she entered the room. They all nodded, grabbing their things to leave.
“I’m happy you’re okay,” Kim told her, reaching out and briefly resting a hand over hers. Voight and Adam nodded in agreement before they all turned to walk out.
“Tough as they come, girl. Glad you’re still with us,” Kevin said, reaching out his arm and fist for her to bump. She smiled, bumping him back with her uninjured arm and thanking them all for being there.
Once they had left the room, the doctor quickly read over her chart before rolling a chair over to her.
“So, give me the rundown. How bad is it?” Hailey questioned anxiously.
“You were shot three times. Twice in the abdomen, once in the shoulder. That vest of yours caught the first two. However, they did leave some pretty significant bruising so we are going to need to monitor you closely, make sure you don’t develop any internal bleeding or rupture. The one in your shoulder was a through and through. We were able to go in and repair what it tore, but you lost a lot of blood. So, you should get comfortable. We’re going to need to keep you here for observation a few days. Looks like you’ll be out of work for the next week at the least, then out of the field for a few weeks after that,” She explained. Hailey just nodded simply in response, a look of defeat on her face.
“Detective, it could have been a lot worse had you not been wearing that vest. It also could have been a lot worse if that bullet in your shoulder struck just a half a centimeter lower. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I’d say you’re pretty lucky,” she admitted, rising from her chair before dropping her chart at the end of the bed and making her way out of the room.
Lucky. It wasn’t the word she’d use to describe how she was feeling. On top of the pain, she was reeling from that vision she had just before her breathing stalled and everything shut off. She’d always heard people say their life flashed before their eyes in those kind of moments, but she never expected it to be such a deflating experience. Her life flashed before her eyes, but the only outstanding moments were her graduation from the academy, her promotion to detective, and her offer into Intelligence. She loved her job, and she was proud of those moments, but it felt disillusioning that in what felt like her final moments, the only good memories her brain could come up with tied back to her job. A job that too often reminded her of all of the bad in the world. A job that had landed her there in the first place.
She didn’t want to fully think about what happened. She wasn’t emotionally prepared for it. Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about the moment before she lost consciousness, when those memories flashed through her mind. It made her realize just how empty her life had been. Her injuries may not have necessarily been life threatening, but she felt as though she was getting a second chance. A second chance to get more out of life than a few job related accomplishments in her end-of-life film reel. A second chance to be intentional about making more memories.
- - - -
A few days had gone by, and she was still in the hospital. She was already feeling better, more than ready to go home, but her doctor extended her stay, wanting to monitor her and her labs. She spent a lot of time in her room, keeping her mind busy with a few books Kim had brought her, but getting distracted by whatever rerun was playing on the small tv screen in the corner of the room. She didn’t have any visitors, something that only added to the epiphany about her life that had her rattled from the moment she woke. Her Intelligence family was practically all she had. They stopped by when they could, but for the most part they were all busy at work, leaving her alone to herself and the occasional check in from various medical staff. Boredom was growing with each passing minute, and she thought about how hard it would be to survive a few weeks out of the field if she couldn’t even make it through a few days in the hospital.
Having enough of sitting in the hospital bed, she was able to convince a nurse to let her sneak out for a walk around the hospital. She felt like a mess. She was dressed head to toe in sweats, her right arm was in a sling, and the look was pulled together with a pair of socks and sandals. Not exactly the most flattering outfit, but she had reached the level of restlessness that left her unaffected by her appearance. She just needed to be out of that room.
She got another book in the gift shop and stopped by the cafeteria where she found some chocolate ice cream. She tucked the book into her sling as she walked about the halls, shoveling the snack into her mouth with each step. She finally climbed into the elevator, and pressed the button for her floor before settling into the back corner. Every bit seemed better than the last. She wasn’t sold on the hospital food. It reminded her of grade school cafeteria food, something she was never fond of, so she knew that ice cream would be the only good thing she had to eat all day. The elevator stopped at the next floor and a man stepped in, pressing a button before settling into the corner across from her. She briefly looked up at him with a friendly nod before looking back down into the cup in her hand for another bite. Suddenly, a movement across the car brought her attention back to him. He had pulled a needled syringe from his pocket and began pressing it into his forearm. Her posture straightened and she froze as she watched him repeatedly stab his arm with the needle.
“Trypanophobia… don’t worry, it’s a prop needle,” he broke through the silence, and she relaxed slightly as he continued to speak.
“You know? The ones they use in movies that don’t actually pierce the skin. My idiot brother said the best way to overcome my fear of needles is exposure therapy, starting with these fake ones. Yet, I’ve been in and out of this hospital for several weeks now, plenty exposed to these things, and I still can’t seem to get used to the poking and prodding,” the man said, flashing her a shy smile as he continued pushing the needle into his arm.
“Seems like pretty sound advice to me. Maybe your idiot brother isn’t such an idiot after all,” she responded back with amusement.
“Yeah, well he may be a doctor, but he’s also my older brother which, in my eyes, makes him an idiot by default,” he said matter-of-factly, immediately looking up at her with a curl in his lips.
“Ah, well I have 2 brothers myself, so I suppose I can somewhat appreciate that sentiment,” she smirked, looking over at him from the other side of the elevator.
She discretely eyed him as he busied his focus back on the syringe in his hand. He was tall, with broad shoulders, and a shirt that fit a little too tight, revealing toned muscles underneath with every movement. The beanie he wore fully covered his head but based on the freckles all across his face and the darkness of his eyebrows, she had to guess he was a redhead, maybe even a brunette. His face was clean shaven, which made it hard to tell just how old he was, but his eyes were what had her. They were an entrancing blend of green and blue, and they gave off a sort of friendly warmth that mellowed out his somewhat intimidating deportment.
“What landed you in here?” He asked, continuing to mindlessly press the object into his arm.
“I- injured on the job,” she put simply.
“Been there,” he said directly, his obscurity matching hers. Her brow furrowed briefly before silence filled the small space and she centered her focus back on the ice cream in her hand.
“Are you doing anything right now, you know, besides stuffing your face with diabetes?” He queried, cutting through the silence and nodding to the cup of ice cream in her hand. She scoffed sarcastically.
“Why do you ask?” She questioned dubiously, trying to keep a lightness in her voice. “Also, I’ll have you know this is the only decent thing to eat this hospital has to offer. I survived a few bullets, I’m sure a little sugar won’t kill me,” she replied. He chuckled as she scooped up a large bite and shoveled it into her mouth with pride.
“Fair enough. And I ask because I have some time to kill, so I just wanted to see if you cared to join me for a little golf on the roof,” he said.
“There isn’t golf on the roof,” she shook her head, amused by the way he proposed it so factually.
“Oh, but there is,” he returned. She squinted her eyes at him in disbelief, and he quickly pressed the elevator button for the roof. She didn’t believe him, but she was bored. Out of her mind. So, she reluctantly decided to follow him. When the elevator stopped at the rooftop, he led her out to an opening with a small patch of turf, two clubs, and a basket of golf balls.
“What the hell? You were serious?” she laughed.
“Yeah, I was serious. I never joke about golf,” He said frankly, grabbing a golf club and placing the ball on the tee.
“Is this even allowed?” She asked, placing her empty cup down as she watched him swing the club into the ball. Her eyes travelled it as it flew from the roof, and she brought her eyes back to him, a staggered look on her face.
“Probably not, but like I said, my idiot brother is a doctor, so if we get caught I’ll just blame it on him,” he smiled, flashing her a wink before hitting another ball off the tee. “Do you want to try?” He asked, offering her a club.
“Don’t think that’s even possible,” she returned, raising her slinged arm slightly to make her point.
“That’s no excuse,” he said, “Come here,” he instructed. She gave in, making her way over toward him.
Close up, his eyes were more green than blue, and they were so beautiful that she found herself getting lost in them for a second. She snapped back into focus when he offered her the club. She took it, and he helped her adjust her feet so that she was standing properly. He placed a ball on the tee, took a step back, and motioned for her to have at it.
She wound the shot up with her uninjured arm and struck the ball. She was still sore from her injuries, and the movement of the swing sent a surge of pain through her torso. She flinched, chipping the top of the ball in the follow through. They both erupted in laughter when the ball barely went but a few feet in front of them, and she dropped the club to the ground to clutch at her abdomen.
“Okay, so maybe you were right,” he laughed, his mood dropping the second he noticed she was in pain. “Hey, are you okay?” He inspected, reaching a supportive hand through the small distance between them.
“Yeah, just still a little sore,” she admitted, stepping back as she forced a smile to hide her pain. He just nodded and she stepped back to lean against the wall. He was silent, but she could sense he was thinking hard about something.
“So injured on the job, huh?” He finally asked. “You mentioned something about surviving a bullet, so what exactly is your job? Bank Robber? Spy? Assassin?” He bantered. She pursed her lips into a wry smile, shaking her head with a weak laugh.
“Mm. You pay attention. I’m a Cop. Detective more specifically. It was uh…” she hadn’t fully addressed how everything had went down yet. The case wasn’t one she wanted to particularly think about, and as the memories from moments before the shooting slowly came back, she immediately pushed them down. She still wasn’t prepared to talk about it. Especially not to some stranger she met in an elevator only 15 minutes before.
“Things took a turn quickly. I took two to the vest, one in the shoulder,” she finally got out, remaining vague through her wording.
His movements stilled, and he looked over at her, a concerned yet knowing look on his face.
“Through and through?” He asked her. She nodded bleakly.
“I’ve had a similar injury,” she noticed his jaw clench with his words. “I was a cop too,” he eventually admitted, a sullen look falling upon his face.
“Was?” She questioned.
“I mean, I guess I technically still am, but it doesn’t feel like it,” he adumbrated. She noticed he was being cryptic, but despite her own curiosity she could tell it wasn’t something he was prepared to talk about. It got quiet as she weighed whether or not to question him further. She settled against it, and in desperate need to change the subject, her attention fell back upon the golf setup. She nodded her head towards it to redirect the conversation.
“So why do you have this here?” She asked him. She watched as he sucked his teeth, pulling his tongue back with a pop before answering.
“I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Pancreatic Cancer several weeks ago. Started chemotherapy not long after that, and as I mentioned before, needles are not my favorite thing, so I come up here before each treatment… calm my nerves a bit,” he admitted. Her face fell. She put two and two together, figuring that was his reason behind not feeling like a cop anymore. She quickly realized her problems, her boredom, everything she’d complained about in the past few days really didn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. It also in a way reminded her of that second chance she seemed to have gotten. She was suddenly both inspired and confused about where she stood in the way she viewed her life.
“I’m sorry,” she said, almost in a whisper.
“Oh, none of that. No room for sorry or sadness up here. Only golf,” he quipped, forcing a smile and turning his attention back to the golf ball on the ground before whacking it from the roof.
Before she could respond, her phone buzzed in her pocket, bringing her attention away from him.
Where are you? Kev and I brought you some food, but your room is empty.
It was a text from Kim. After reading it, she looked up at the man. She had a strange desire to stay up there with him, to watch him hit golf balls from the roof and get to know more about him, but she knew her friends would send the entire hospital after her if she didn’t show a sign of life.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go,” she said, slipping her phone back in her pocket and pushing herself from the wall.
“Hey, what’d I say about sorry?” He smirked, resting the club on the ground and leaning against it as he stepped towards her.
“How much longer are you stuck here?” he asked, tilting his head with his words.
“Honestly, I’m not really sure. Doctors haven’t been able to give me a clear answer.”
“Well, maybe I’ll see you around. It was nice to meet you um…” he let out an awkward chuckle. “I don’t know your name,” he said sheepishly.
“Hailey. I’m Hailey,” she smirked, extending her uninjured hand for him to shake. He grabbed it, shaking it back lightly and slowly. As he peered into her eyes, an abnormal feeling overcame her. It was almost a sense of familiarity, like he wasn’t a stranger she had just met, but someone she’d known her whole life. It was the look in his eyes and the comfort of his touch, and it was a feeling that took her by surprise. Nonetheless, the feeling was gone as quickly as it came, and they pulled apart as he parted his lips to speak.
“Nice to meet you, Hailey,” he said, his free hand finding way to his pocket. Her phone buzzed again, another text from Kim, and she knew she had to get back to her room before they sent the entirety of Chicago searching for her. She gave him one last smile before turning towards the elevators. As she settled in and pressed the button for her floor, she looked up to see him watching her every movement. She quickly looked down at her feet with this realization, remembering how she was dressed and suddenly regretting leaving her room like that. She was grateful when he finally turned, directing his attention back to the golf balls on the ground.
“Wait,” she said, throwing her free hand up to the elevator doors as they began to close. He twisted around, his eyes carrying a gentle, curious look.
“You didn’t tell me your name,” she called out.
He opened his mouth to speak, but he stopped himself, his eyes looking up and dropping quickly as if he’d forgotten his name and was waiting for it to fall from the sky.
“Just remember me as the stranger from the elevator,” he finally said slyly.
She frowned, but he just returned her look with taut smirk. When it was clear that was all he was going to offer, she backed up into the elevator, an annoyed and skeptical smile on her face as she allowed the doors to fall shut.
She acted on autopilot for the rest of the afternoon, distracted by the encounter with the stranger. She wasn’t an at first sight kind of person. Love, admiration, attraction, feelings, they weren’t things she typically felt from the jump. It took time and trust for her to develop those things that some could develop in a first encounter. Yet, with this guy, something was different. From the ride down to the elevator, to dinner in her room with her friends, to the moment her head touched the uncomfortable hospital pillow that night, the stranger and some unexplainable feeling about him lingered in her mind like a bad hangover. He was aloof and smug, but something about that combination left her wanting more. More about his story, about his quirks, about everything that made him seem so interesting.
It took her a while to find sleep, as it had every night prior that she had spent in that hospital, but that night it was for another reason. It wasn’t just the discomfort of the bed or the unfamiliarity of the room that left her restless. It was the image of the stranger’s well-pleased grin in her mind, his blue-green eyes sparkling at her, and her own curiosity keeping her up late into the night. Every part of her hoped that she would see him again. She couldn’t quite explain it, but the timing of it all made her think she was meant to meet him for some undiscovered reason. That gave her just enough hope that their encounter wasn’t just a one time thing. She had a strong feeling she was going to see him again.
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exmormondragon · 3 years
Text
It frustrates how much of myself is still wrapped up in the church. Not in thinking about it, but just in the actions I take and the thoughts I think in everyday life. I’ve seen most of the people here talking about it in regards to being watched, or about ‘sins’, or about how they feel about their body.
And I don’t think I feel that way? I don’t generally feel like I’m being watched, I don’t have the weight of past sins hanging over my head. I do struggle with wanting to alter my body, the idea of getting a tattoo or a piercing is hard even though I kind of want one. But I generally rationalize that as not wanting something permanent, and also I hate needles so much and fear pain.
So maybe that has nothing to do with church.
But the thing is, I’m only really starting to figure out what the church did to me. Maybe I do have a lot of those feelings and I just… don’t realize it. And I know that sounds silly, but so many other things that I really didn’t understand have started becoming clear to me too.
I suppose one way I’ve been different from a lot (though not everyone) of the people on here is that I was a True Believer down to my bones. I never had any outright physical abuse done to me, I enjoyed church, I only had the vaguest of feelings that something was wrong. Maybe I just fit well, maybe I was programmed well, I don’t know.
And it seems like a lot of folks on here just knew from a young age that something was wrong.
In the end, I still didn’t leave because of anything done to me. I left because I thought they just sort of vaguely didn’t approve of gay marriage, and I knew that was wrong. I left because my parents taught me to seek the truth, ironically enough, and I realized that there were better ways to find truth out there.
I still loved the church. Not just the people, but the doctrine, the attitudes, how it raised me. Even now, I’m not sure I have any regrets. I don’t think I’d be who I am today without the church.
But I also am not always sure which parts of myself need to change, and the teachings of the church are so fundamental and broad that I can’t just sit down and address every single thing one at a time and ask ‘does this make sense’. It’s going to take me a while, a LONG while, and I keep finding discrepancies where I wasn’t expecting them.
Like, for example, how I treat other people. I thought I was just doing what was best, showering others with praise, constantly helping, pushing others to lean on me even when they’re mostly strangers. People like me, and I make friends quickly.
But reading through Recovering Agency showed me that was something called Love Bombing. And sure, it’s a tool that can be used for good and bad. It’s not bad that it helps me make friends quickly. It’s not bad that it builds trust quickly.
But it’s also not sustainable, and it’s damaging to relationships in the long term. I met my boyfriend two years ago on a trip to Washington, and we were dating VERY quickly. We got ourselves engagement rings after only about four months, despite the fact that most of that time we were in a long distance relationship after I’d returned home. After six months, he moved across the country to live with me in the first apartment I’d ever rented.
And it was really rocky for a while. Honestly, if I hadn’t been raised in the church and taught to keep relationships at all costs, we may have split up. And it was only once I’d learned about all the manipulative, structured actions that I’d been taught (like Love Bombing) that we started to figure out healthy boundaries and settle into a better equilibrium.
On a similar note, and one that showed up more recently, the church’s opinion on porn. Even after two years, I still considered myself to have an addiction. I’d never really done any more research, but I figured it was self-evident: I couldn’t seem to stop, after all.
Though, funnily enough, when I left the church I managed to stay away from it for a solid six months. Only now am I realizing that that probably came from losing the shame that the church holds over your head.
Beginning my relationship with my boyfriend, and I mentioned it to him in the spirit of honesty. He told me that, he too had a porn addiction. We started to try and hold each other to not looking at it, and we both struggled immensely. It’s been a tough thing for both of us for these two years.
Only recently did I think to do a little more research. (Inspired by the Mormon Stories episode about the church’s twelve step program) And mostly, the research is inconclusive, but I got at least a little confirmation that it’s not inherently bad. Sharing this with my boyfriend, and I learn that he had never heard about porn addiction before I told him, and just assumed that he must have it too.
A little more research shows the real issue the church implanted in me, and that was the idea of reporting, of shame, of holding each other to a standard and feeling like we were falling apart when we couldn’t keep it. Of parenting each other instead of being two people in a relationship, working on ourselves individually.
Once we took that out, stopped reporting ‘mess-ups’ to each other… it got so much easier. Once we took away the stigma, it stopped hanging over our heads. Now, I find it easy to not worry about it, to live my life and partake in a healthy amount, instead of compulsively, guiltily.
The church teaches co-dependency, because it needs its members to be dependent, reliant on each other and on the church itself. It teaches monetary self-sufficiency, (sort of) but not emotional self-sufficiency.
And that’s the sort of things I was bringing into my life, into my relationships. And it just frustrates me, that I have to take the time and effort to dig every one of its claws out of my heart and actions and even then still not be sure I got them all.
Maybe that’s another one of the things the church left with me. The desire to be perfect, now.
I don’t know.
I wish I did.
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granddaughterogg · 3 years
Note
What’s death’s reaction to his s/o referring to him as their husband? Like maybe they go out somewhere and s/o has to introduce death to a friend they ran into in public and the first thing that comes to mind while they’re all frazzled is “Oh! This is my /husband/!”
It was Friday afternoon - the worst possible time for a grocery haul.
You've tried to communicate this to your Nephilim a few times before, but the message bounced off them. The Horsemen were perceptive people, but they've spent most of their lives under very different stars (or sometimes under no stars at all.) Never before had they to fit their undertakings within a 24-hour timetable. The intricate ways in which human society works were also all but lost on them. Repeated explanations that certain stuff has to be done at certain hours probably hacked a few good years off your lifespan.
 Maybe one day they'll finally learn, you thought, slowly and tenderly losing your shit. Until then - your shared home life was a path full of organizational hiccups. Chaos often took over.
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Anyway, you lived with four oversized individuals who didn't really have to eat, but they sure enjoyed it - and three of them consumed heaps. This week it just so happened that Strife went MIA (as he often would), Fury was having a Hair Maintenance Day and War really needed some bonding time with his steed. Or something.
Thankfully Death remained the reliable one. He grabbed you, summoned Despair from his pocket dimension (Death really wasn't the man for cars) and off to the supermarket you two went.
What you faced was a typical Friday after hours stampede. Tired, frustrated consumers teemed the aisles, filling their enormous shopping carts, crashing their carts into other people's backsides and running them over other people's feet. The air was stuffy, filled with maniacally upbeat music and high-pitched wailing of children. 
It was sheer hell.
"Let's make this quick", you pleaded into your companion's ashy ear. "I don't know how long I can take it. Can we split the shopping list? I'll grab the groceries, you go get all the cleaning stuff and we'll meet here, okay, love?"
Death nodded, straightened himself to his whole impressive height and stalked away. You watched his wide frame part the sea of busy heads. No matter how thick the crowd, people always seemed to just naturally skip out of Death's way. A sensible instinct. Many heads have turned, the expression on their faces something between dumbfoundedness and awe. You've heard quite a few stifled "Damn!"s.
You reached for packaged rice, smirking. Your man was seven and a half feet tall, his skin the shade of bone, and no, he wasn't wearing a shirt.
You managed to persuade him to leave all his jangly ironmongery at home. That's enough Fitting In for one trip.
Death's dark head finally disappeared behind the shelves and your thoughts refocused on filling the cart. You were picking up some broccoli in the produce aisle when a high-pitched voice uttered your name.
You jumped.
"No way!!!" Something big and bright filled your field of vision. You picked up the dropped broccoli, blinked a few times, and the yellow shape refocused into a head of hair - a shiny lob dyed sunny blonde. Not one hair stuck out of place.
"It really is you!!!" squealed the head in glee. It belonged to a rather attractive woman in big rectangular sunglasses, her lips very finely painted fuchsia pink. She always looked like those ladies portrayed in the so-called ladies' magazines. Thin and poreless, exuding easy confidence that comes from not being broke even once in her whole life.
"Hi, Julianne", you groaned. There was no escaping it now.
"Honey!!! So glad to see you!!" professed the woman, eyeing you shrewdly from head to toe. She probably calculated the price of your whole outfit in her head right now - and the contents of your cart while she was at it. Drawing conclusions. Always have been good with maths. Fucking Julianne.
"I wrote to you on Facebook so many times!!" Multiple exclamation points have been her thing; apparently, this hasn't changed since high school. "Why did you never answer, silly? We had so much fun during our class reunion..."
"Uh, I bet", you murmured. You wouldn't step back within your old school walls even if they paid you. "Sorry for going no contact. I've had a lot on my plate recently, you know -"
"Like what?" the woman tilted her shapely head, her attitude playful, but also slightly accusatory.
It made you angry. 
Remember the Apocalypse, Julianne? Remember when you slipped into non-existence among most of the human race? I bet you don't. I bet you decided to forget this ever happened. Like so many others did. Well, I didn't die, so I can't forget. Someone saved me and I got to traverse many different realms side by side with a Horseman of the fucking Apocalypse. And then he gave his life away, and later got brought back to life by his brother, who is also a Horseman - and we've been living together ever since...
Of course, you didn't say any of that out loud. You stood there, fondling the lush green broccoli in your hands. What even was the point?
"Oh, you know. I got into a relationship..." 
"You did?"
You looked her dead in the eye - blue and suddenly wide under the swanky shades - and could tell that this was a direct hit.
"Well, yeah." You smiled at Julianne. "Those things happen, you know."
"Sure, sure!! But frankly, out of all of us, I'd never suspect you to settle with a man and all..." 
"Excuse me?"
Julianne held at a strand of her perfect, shiny hair and then let go. "You were always quite the feminist after all..."
"What does this have to do with - " you blurted out and stopped mid-sentence because Death emerged from behind the shelves. His arms were full of various cleaning stuff.
"I've got everything from the list", he said. "I've also got at least partially deaf. Are we done here?"
A wide smile upturned the corners of your mouth - this time a genuine one because Julianne looked like a startled fish. She stared at you, then at the ashy, muscular, hulking giant at your side, then back at your beaming face.
Pettiness is the dish of the gods. 
"Death, love, meet Julianne", you said gracefully. "Julianne, this is Death. My husband."
The words slipped out of you on their own.
You tossed him a panicked, beseeching look, but your Nephilim was game. Maybe his eyebrow quivered a little; it happened so fast that Julianne would never notice. She was too busy ogling rocky abs of this man you've settled with.
"Pleased to make your acquaintance", said Death in his most velvety, bordering-on-indecent tone. Julianne just nodded back stiffly, as if submerged in a trance.
You left the supermarket soon after that.
A strange, playful little smile twirled your Horseman's lips while he loaded all the groceries into Despair's saddlebags. Thankfully those operated on the principle of magic, not physics, or the horse's spectral back would break.
"I assume that wasn't a friend." You spent all the way to the parking lot trying not to look him in the face. The words startled you.
"Hell no. She's a bitch."
"Ah." That was his whole answer. Finally, all the groceries have been stuffed into the magic pocket space. Death turned around, clasped his hands to your waist and lifted you onto the saddle. His movements bore such effortless grace. It happened so many times and you still weren't over how inhumanely strong this man is.
He sat right behind you. You clasped both hands on the saddle's horn, discreetly basking in this soothing feeling that being surrounded by Death's powerful physique gave you. 
His torso pressed into your back, his strong thighs almost touching yours. This bliss would never get old.
"You know, I can't help but wonder." Death's deep voice was like a silky needle, injected into your frayed nerves. "Why did you call me this word?"
"It...just felt right", you said, staring at Despair's pointy ears, wreathed with spectral discharge. The horse turned his humongous head as if asking: Can we go now? But your companion wasn't done yet.
"Do you wish for me to take your hand in marriage?"
You almost keeled over.
"Damn, D! Well...I...I don't want to force any more human stuff on you, you know?"
He leaned over; long, black strands of hair grazed your mouth. Death looked you in the face. You'd rather he didn't.
"Do you or do you not?"
"Damn, I do. I'd absolutely love to. But you have to live in this human world with me and you're constantly surrounded by alien stuff and alien customs which don't hold much meaning to you, and that would just be...another one of those things, right?" you murmured, lowering your head.
"I'm surrounded by alien stuff wherever I go", said Death softly. "I don't have a place I'd call home."
"I know! But it's hard!" you admitted. "You're always asking me what is it that I want. But marriage is one of those things that have to be desired by both people equally, or it means nothing..."
You suddenly felt very small and rather sad.
"I don't want you to get entangled in something that you have no use for", you whispered, pinning your eyes to the worn-off leather of the saddle. "Not just for me."
Death didn't answer for a good while. Then his big hand covered yours and squeezed it slightly.
Before you've met him, you always imagined that Death's touch must be freezing cold. That was not true.
"I understand", he said, "and I am grateful for your candour."
He nudged the horse and off you went, both unusually quiet.
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Teacher!Dean Winchester: Crayons
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Pairing: Teacher!Brother!Dean x Sister!Reader 
Pov: Deans 
Warnings: Cute Dean, fluff, lots of laughs, Dean making kids giggle, Dean being great with kids, Talk of Deans baby Y/n 
Summary- Dean and his sister (Y/n) doing cute little projects with his pre-school/ kindergarten class. 
Word Count: 3k 
Main Masterlist: 
Taglist: @akshi8278​ @deanswaywardgirl​
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I’ve been working for the cute little mam and pop, day-care. This year will mark the second year I’ve been here.  
I grow-up with loving parents, and a baby sister. When Y/n was born I felt the natural pull to protect her, and make she was safe at all times. My parents, let me take that brotherly role in her life. My baby sister Y/n was only a year younger than me, so we pretty much did everything together.  
When we were in elementary school, I’d walk Y/n to her kindergarten class, and then I’d walk to my first-grade classroom. I honestly can’t believe I still remember that memory.  
I walked up the hall and to my classroom door. I had only had these kiddos for about three weeks now, but there were making great progress. And since today was Friday I thought it be cool if I dressed up a little and we had an arts and crafts day.  
I looked down at my watch, the digital numbers popping up it read “8:30″. ‘Great I had enough time to pull out all the supplies, and have a few more cups of coffee to keep up with the little munchkins.’  
I set my half empty coffee cup on my desk in the front of the classroom, and open the shades letting the morning sun fall into the class room. I pulled out my phone, scrolling through the abundance of playlists on my Spotify account.  
This was the only time, when the kids weren’t in my room was, I allowed to listen to my type of music. “Heck yeah, let’s rock baby.” I said as I clicked the most recent playlist.  
I set my phone down on my desk and walked around the room. I had a fairly small class this year. I had 2 baby girls that were only about ten months old, but the rest of my class was 2 years, which had the attention span of a Nat, and had the most energy I had ever seen.  
Ya, see I love working with this age group. The babies which have to come to day care are the most adorable little girls I had ever seen. Little toes and babbles coming from them as I would change them into their afternoon outfit, or we sit down and eat.  
My other kiddos were just having equally adorable. They’d raise their hands for everything, they also asked the oddest of question, but I think what I love most about being with these kiddos every day is that they make me so much happier.
I generally wake up in an over-all happy mood, but the minute my kiddos step into my room. I can feel the joy raise through me, starting at my toes and ending at head. And just like any day, I’m always the first to make it to the daycare. The second person to make their way into the building was my co-teacher. My co-teacher just so happens to be Y/n. She had a thing for being late, but I didn’t mind.  
Y/n walked into the classroom, setting her belongings on the rounded desk in the back of the classroom. When Y/n had told me, she had interned to be a part of the daycare I couldn’t help but feel so excited.  
Y/n and I’s relationship was prefect damn near unbreakable. Something about having her by my side thirty years later had a great feeling. “Hey big bro!” She said as she looked up after setting her things down on her desk.  
“Hey sis, you get enough sleep last night?” I asked knowing she probably didn’t, not with the way those two-year-old ran her ragged yesterday. Y/n and I had a system to how we took care of our class. I’d take Monday with the two-year-old, and then Tuesday I spent with the baby girls, Wednesday I was with the big kids again and then Thursday I was with the babies yet again Friday I’d take the big kids.  
Then the cycle would change and Y/n would start with having the big kids Monday. I went over to the paper section, pulling out craft paper, crayons and markers for the kids to play with. “Today if you can’t tell by my amazing outfit, it’s craft day.” I said walking past Y/n desk in the back, as I kicked out the raveling carpet.  
I set the paper down at my desk. The day care didn’t open until nine fifteen. “Sis, what may it be?” I said fancying my best London accent, doing things like this made me even happier, it got me in a mood to see my kiddos in the morning.  
“Tee time may be nine ten brother.” Y/n said trying her fancy on the old London accent. I got up, quickly turning my playlist off and standing neither my door, other teachers were starting to the same. I waited, and the first child I saw was one of baby girls. Her name was Amber. Her mother said hello handed me her Amber’s bags and then said a short and quick bye-bye to her daughter. “Y/n, Come get amber and bring her to the back room.” I said Y/n came running taking Amber to the back room.
The back room was meant for any kiddos under the age of one year old. It was a quiet space for them, a space dedicated to just them. When I handed Amber off, I heard coo at the Y/n, “Awe, good morning sweetheart.” I heard Y/n say has she walked father away from me and closer to the back room.  
The next kiddo was the other sweet baby girl. “Hey, Dean. I like the outfit today.” Said Poppies mother, and she handed me a sleeping poppy, and of course her bag for today. “And look you two match, how adorable.” Poppies mother said before kissing her baby's temple and then walking out the front door. The sun was starting to peak further above the horizon.  
I figured since Y/n wasn’t back yet that she was probably putting amber things in the respectful place. I set Poppy down slowly and softly. “Well, the two baby girls are here, you need anything with these two and I’m right outside okay, sis.” I said as I saw Y/n come back from the little kitchenette we had in the back room.  
AS Y/n got closer to me, she too noticed the matching outfits that me and Poppy were wearing. “You and poppy match today!” She spoke. Both poppy and I were wearing striped shirts, and dark blue overalls. The only different was that Poppy had a cute little bow in her short hair. “Okay, I’ve got to go out into the classroom and get ready for the other kiddos.” I said to Y/n before walking out of the back room.  
When I made it to the door, Justin, Rachel, Cassie, and Paula were standing outside with their parents. ‘Good morning!” As each kid kissed their mothers' cheeks and ran over to me.  
after all the parents had left, saying their goodbyes. We all went into the classroom. Like I said before my classroom room size was fairly small. Which I of course didn’t mind.  
The kids put all their belongings on the little racks, and ran over. In the morning time we’d sit around in a circle and say one good thing that happened yesterday. I never picked on the kids, I just let the first kid that wanted to go, start us off.  
Rachel was the first to start us off. “Yesterday, my mommy and I had ice cream for dessert.” She said her high and squeaky voice, making me smile. “Oh, that sounds awesome! Do you remember what flavor?” I asked sitting down like the kids were. “it was CHOCOLATE!” Rachel screamed the last part. “Oh, that does sounds yummy.” I spoke.  
The next kiddo to go was Paula, she started off by saying “When i got home yesterday, I help my daddy make dinner. And we had mac and cheese.” She said rubbing her tummy as she looked back at that not do long ago memory.  
Justin interrupted me before I could say anything “Mr. Dean? Where’s miss Y/n?” He spoke. playing with his shoe strings. “That a good question, but remember we have to raise out hand if we are going to ask a question.” I spoke. “I’m sorry.” Justin said.  
“To answer Justin question, Miss Y/n is in the back room’ I said pointing towards the door in the back. ‘She’s taking care of the babies today, like I did yesterday.” I spoke.  
“Really?” The four kids said in unison. I laughed a little. “Yes, Now Justin would you like to share your good thing?” I asked. “Of course, I want to share Mr. Dean. Yesterday, I helped my sissy with her make-up.” He said putting both his hands on his hips.  
I again laughed, another reason why I love working with kids. They are always no matter what so eccentric. “Okay Cassie, what was one good thing that happened yesterday?” I asked. Cassie and I had a rocky start in the begging of class. She was an overly shy girl, and talked softly. But she grew comfortable with me. “Mr. Dean?” She asked getting up from where she had been sitting. “Can I whisper it to you?” She asked.  
I just shook my head; she came closer and cupped her hands around my ear. “Yesterday, I told my mommy and daddy I couldn’t wait to come back to class.” She said in a very quiet whisper.
Awe I thought to myself, and said out loud. “I’m glad your excited to come to see me.” wrapping one of my arms around Cassie already small body and hugged her. “Okay kiddos, since today is the last day of the week. We’re are going to arts and crafts.”  I spoke.  
“Yay!” Justin said getting up and walking over to the little table. I looked over at Cassie, and smiled. she gave me a short smile and walked over to where Justin was. So, I got up and made sure that Rachel and Paula were walking with me. Once they were all sitting down at the table.
I grabbed the different colored papers, and the crayons and markers. Placing everything in the middle so they would be able to share. "Now kiddos, if you want anything else. I will be at my desks.” I spoke.
I sat down at my desk, trying to figure out anything else that I could do with the kiddos since today was Friday. ‘We could sit down and watch a movie; I could wait for them to do finished with their crafts, and then do another craft all together.’ I thought to myself.  
I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard the back-room door open, “Um, Mr. Dean. I need your help!” Y/n said. The kids rose their heads, but went back to coloring when they noticed it was just Y/n. “Listen kiddos, I have to go help miss Y/n, so just continue doing your drawing.” I spoke. I heard a “Okay, Mr. Dean.”  
I walked to the back-room, Y/n walked back through the door, not shutting it. “What’s up Y/n? ” I asked. “I just needed your help, getting them into their afternoon clothes. They both had accidents.” Y/n said walking over to grab Amber and Poppy’s bag.  
“Alright then, let's get started.” I said taking Amber’s bag. When I came over to where Y/n and had laid them out on the soft blanket on the floor, Amber had her small hand wrapped around her small ankle chewing softing on her big toes. “Awe sweetie, not that icky.” I said taking her foot from her mouth. Amber’s mother had packed two different outfits, one being a short sleeve shirt that said “Daddy's girl!” in purple glitter with a black skirt. Her second outfit was a long sleeve that had a momma and baby elephant on it, with blue leggings.  
I held up either one of the shirts, I know she’s only ten, but I bet her Amber’s mom is letting her choose some sort of her outfits. I held the shirts up and Amber did the thing that most kids her age do which is grabby hands. Amber wanted to wear the elephants, which meant she was pants.  
So, I lightly lifted Amber's head to let me put her head in through the hole at the top of the shirt, then I had to grab her arms. Amber had this thing when you changed her cloths. All the sudden she’d become a wiggle worm. Finally, after a few minutes of trying to grab her arms, she let me. I gently put her hands and arms through the holes. Afterwards I put her leggings on and I sat her up in my lap.  
“The kiddos out there asked where you were today?” I said catching Y/n attention. “Did they? Awe that’s cute” She said had she lifted Poppy into her lap. “I’ve got them drawing out there, since it’s Friday.” I said “I figured you go easy on since today is Friday. Yesterday I tried to teach them number one through twenty, but it didn’t work out as I planned.” Y/n said laughing a little when poppy babbled into her lap.  
“I was thinking that we could let them watch a Disney movie and feed these girls, maybe go for nap time too.” I said lightly bouncing Amber in my lap, and she chewed on her binky. I saw Y/n face contort like it always did when she was thinking.  
“I don’t see why not; what movie were you thinking?” Y/n asked. Without missing a beat “Frozen” I said, a little giggle erupted from my younger sister. “Okay, I guess we got a plan then.” She said putting Poppy on her hip, and walking towards the door, so I followed her. “Let’s go Amber!” I said putting her on my hip and walking out of the room.  
When I walked out the kiddos were still coloring and drawing. “Alrighty kiddos let’s be done with coloring. Because we are going to watch a movie.” I said All heads turned and looked at me, in the moment you could hear a mouse scurrying across the floor for how quiet it was.  
“What movie are we watching?” Rachel said after raising her hand. “Rachel we are watching Frozen!” I said as I put Amber in the high chair. All that could be heard for a few seconds was screams of happiness.  
“Alrighty calm down, kids. I want you all to go sit on the carpet in the front of the classroom.” Y/n said as she buckled Poppy in her high chair. “I’ll get the movie started, and you get the babies food.” Y/n said. “Okay.”  
I walked in to the back room and grabbed their food. Y/n had finished set-up the movie and it had already started playing the starting credits. She walked back over, and grabbed a fandom one from my hand, and we started to feed the babies.  
The kiddos watch the movie in silence, at one point close to when Anna meets Kristoff. The babies were done eating so we took them out of the high chairs and set them down in our laps as we sat behind the kids. When Cassie noticed that we were now on the floor, she turned around, and crawled over to me.
Laying down and resting her head on my thigh. “Are you tired Cassie?” I asked, all I got in response was a hum. I smiled, and brushed her arm. I felt the change in her breathing. I looked over at Y/n. “Cassie is out and so is Amber. Should we call it?” I asked her. She looked down at Poppy. “Poppy is asleep, and I think so is Justin.” She said looking at the kids.  
Y/n got up with poppy in her arms. She came over and grabbed a sleep Amber in my arms. And brought them into the backroom. I gently picked up Cassie, she didn’t weight much seeing as she was asleep. I moved her over to the sleep mat, and grabbed her a blanket, before walking over and noticing that the once awake Rachel and Paula were asleep, which made this whole process just so much more easier, Y/n walked out of the back-room and noticed the same thing as me.  
Whispering Y/n said “Looks like they did the job for us.” Giggling she picked up Rachel, and brought her over next to Cassie. I picked up Justin, now he weighed more than Cassie, causing me to grunt a little when I picked him up. I heard Y/n giggle a little at me. “Stop laughing at me, he’s heavy then I thought.” I said setting him down. Y/n grabbed Paula and did the same thing with her.  
“At least they are all asleep.’ She spoke. ‘I could use a lap.” She said leaning her head against my shoulder. I leaned my head against the top of hers. “How about we just take a little nap since it’s the last day before the weekend.” I spoke. She shook her head.  
We waked over to the shades that I had pulled letting the morning sun in, and Y/n pulled them back, and then she slides down to the floor, and sat down next to her and she rested the head of my shoulder, “I’m glad I work with you De.” She said a yawn passing her lips.  
“I’m glad you’re here to help, Y/n.” I said patting her knee. I kiss her forehead, something I had done since she was a baby girl. I kissed her forehead every night when it was time to go to bed. “I love you, big brother.” She said before she hugged me tightly. “I love you too baby sis.” Hugging her back.  
Completed: 03/16/2021 
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iliumheightnights · 4 years
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Let Me Make You Proud [3] | Tony Stark x Son!Reader
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Fandom: Marvel
Pairing: Tony Stark x Son!Reader
Summary: (M/N) is forced to face his past to save his friends and family. However, sometimes the skeletons in the closet are too much to face.
A/N: The Final part of the let me make you proud series. A long time coming too. I’ve been writing this for months and yet it still feels like I rushed it. So I’m not TOO happy with it but I hope you all enjoy it. Lots of Stark Reader stories in the future, cause I’m a ho for dad Tony and son.
Read from the start
...
“So let me get this straight- or as straight as I can with you here. The Kree general Hala came and kidnapped all the avengers, plus Kamala and Doreen and now you’re here asking for my help?”
“Yeah that’s pretty much it.” (M/N) sat on Gwen’s beat up couch in her garage, his father next to him. The two still very much in an awkward stage. 
“Also the zoo was destroyed.” Everyone looked towards PRYSM. “What? I figured that was big news too.”
“I did like that zoo. So what’s the plan? We can’t just go without a plan.”
Tony stood up. “Woah woah woah. Plan? No, there is no plan for the two of you. I’ll get with shield and we’ll save the avengers. You-” He points at (M/N) “Will go back to the tower and wait for us to come back.”
(M/N) let out a chuckle before standing up. “Tough shit. She took my friends and family. I’m coming and putting her in her place. Gwen get your things, We’ll think of a plan on the way..first we have to find the ship.”
“Oh! Oh! I scanned the ship's heat signatures during the fight. I can try my best to track it!” PRYSM spoke up, bouncing a little as they said it. “Good. We’ll need that to find it...now we just need a way to get to it…” (M/N) looked at his dad. “I KNOW the avengers have a space ship. We’ll need that.”
Tony sighed and pinched his nose before looking back at the other three. “The avengers don’t have a space ship.” The three seemed to be at a loss. “I have a spaceship. I just let them borrow it.” That immediately made the other three perk up. “I guess if I can’t stop you...I better help get us there in one piece.” (M/N) patted his shoulder. “It’s the least you could do. Alright, let’s get going then shall we?”  (M/N), Tony and PRYSM moved to the garage door. “You guys go ahead. I’ll meet you at the tower. I need to get suited up.” (M/N) only nodded understanding and Tony looked confused. “Who exactly are you again?” His son quickly pushed him out of the garage. “Later, later. Let her do her thing.”
Exiting the garage the two were greeted by the sight of Happy, who seemed genuinely surprised to see (M/N). “Hey happy. Love what you’ve done to the hair.” Happy stuttered before smiling and opening the door for the boy he had known since he was born. “It’s good to see ya kid.” (Y/N) helped PRYSM into the car and hopped in. The car ride back to the tower was...intense to be sure. Tony looked like he wanted to talk to (M/N), but the boy was looking everywhere but him. PRSYM was the only one in the car really saying anything and that’s because they kept saying “oo’s and ah’s”. Happy was the one to break the silence. “So...kid. Where’ve ya been?” (M/N) smiled at him. “All over. I’ve only been back here for a couple months. My favorite place I went was Alaska. Might go back there someday.” After that the ride was quiet again. The car pulled into the tower's garage and everyone got out. Happy gave (M/N) a hug before going back to his normal routine. Tony, (M/N) and PRYSM entered the elevator and returned to the common area. Once the elevator opened Tony watched as (M/N) slowly took in the tower after the years he had been away. “I’m...I’m going to prep the ship.” Tony said before taking the elevator down a few floors to the hangar. (M/N) chuckled as the elevator doors closed. “It’s been years PRYSM and yet...he still can’t talk to me like I’m his son.” The little robot rolled up next to him. “It’s just awkward. Like you said it’s been years and he’s trying to figure out how to find the words.” The boy nodded and walked to his room.
His room was just like how he remembered it. However he noticed that dust was collecting on lots of things and it seemed like someone had been in it recently based on his journals left on his bed. He sat down on the bed and began looking through his notebooks. He looked at his old drawings and smiled, ever since he left he’s returned to drawing for himself instead of blueprints. He got lost in the books he didn’t notice when Tony entered the room. “Hey. The ships getting ready for take off we still have a bit.” He looked around the room and smiled at his son. “The rooms just like you left it. I didn’t want to mess anything up. It’s ready for whenever you’re ready to move back in.” (M/N) squinted at this. “What is this?” Tony looked at him with a confused look. “What’s what?” (M/N) stood up from the bed. “This! All of this! Are you just going to pretend like everything’s okay? That somehow after two years I’d just magically forgive you for the lifetime of neglect you put me through?” Tony was about to say something but (M/N) stopped him. “You know...I thought about what I’d say if I ever saw you again. I tried to put the words to how you made me feel...but I can’t. When I see you all I can see is how much I love you, but that I was never enough for you. When I see you, I see myself as a failure. All I ever wanted...was for you to love me like I loved you.” Tears began to form in (M/N)’s eyes. Tony closed his eyes and when he opened them he looked his son in the eyes, his own also glittering with tears. “(M/N) I know it doesn’t mean anything but-” At that moment he was interrupted by the voice of the A.I. “Sir. The ship is ready for launch.” (M/N) shook his head and pushed past his dad. “Later. We’ll talk about this after we rescue everyone.” Tony only nodded. “Yeah. you’re right.”
Walking into the hangar, (M/N) smirked at the ship. “Well, that’ll do. Now…” (M/N) typed into his phone and not long after the sound of webshooters could be heard. With a flip, Gwen landed on the hangar deck through the door wearing her spider gwen suit. “Hey guys. Ooohhh shit! Look at that!” She started freaking out over the ship. Tony was at a loss for words. “What...uh? Who are you?” (M/N) smirked. “Remember how I said I wanted one? This is Gwen, you met earlier. She has the same powers as Peter. Maybe a couple different things.” Gwen waved at him before turning back to the ship. “Well let’s GOOOO! I want to see space!” PRSYM grabbed (M/N)’s hand and pulled him toward the ship.
The ship was more like a modified quinjet able to travel space. (M/N) took the co-pilot's seat while Tony took the pilots' seat. PRYSM and Gwen got situated and Tony began the launch sequence. “You sure you want to do this?” He looked at everyone who only nodded. “Absolutely. Let’s go.” Tony let out a sigh and flew the ship out of the hangar. It wasn’t long before the ship had broke the atmosphere and the group starred out into space. “Alright PRYSM. Tell us where we need to go.” PRYSM was staring out into space. “Oh! OF COURSE!”  PRYSM’s eyes lit up and a holographic map appeared. “That way!”
Tony did exactly as PRYSM instructed and it wasn’t long before Hala’s ship came into view. “Ladies, Gentlemen, and PRYSM. We’re here.” Their small ship was slowly approaching the massive one. “Okay so what’s the plan exactly?” Gwen asked. “Easy. Board the ship, rescue the avengers, Kamala and Doreen, Then blow the ship to hell and back.” (M/N) said. “As for Hala. We’ll deal with her if we have to.” His dad looked at him with concern. “That’s not much of a plan.” (M/N) crossed his arms. “Well there really isn’t anything we can plan for this. Unless you have any ideas?” Tony was about to say something but stopped when he couldn’t think of anything. “Exactly. So let’s just do our best and be careful.”
Boarding the ship was surprisingly easy. All they did was connect their to the hull and cut their way through. Once on board the group made their way towards anything that seemed like a prison ward. The hallways of the ship were...eerie to say the least. It was like any generic ship you see in scifi movies with the creepy hum of engines. “I’m detecting lot’s of life signs from not far ahead.” PRYSM said. They followed the little robot until they found themselves in a large room with many cages. They found the prison, however there was something off. “Something’s not right. Where’s all the guards at?”
“HELLLLLOOOO!? IS ANYONE HERE!?” PRYSM yelled out. “Prysm shhh!” (M/N) tried to shush them. However nothing came after they expected some retaliation, instead they heard. “Hello? Who’s there?” That was Steve! “Steve!?” (M/N) ran towards the voice and found Steve and the other avengers. “(M/N)! Tony! What are you doing here?” Prysm hacked into their cell and shut off the energy door. “Rescuing you.” Peter got off his seat and smirked. “Aren’t you a little short to be a stormtrooper?”  (M/N) smirked at him. “I don’t know where you get your delusions laser brain.” Peter let out a laugh at the star wars quote. Of course Peter and (M/N) had started off rocky, but travelling made (M/N) realize it wasn’t the boy’s fault. He was tackled by someone. “(M/NNNNNNNNNNNNN!), I’m so glad to see you!” Doreen. She pulled back and (M/N) saw the look in her eyes, the worry. “They took Kamala.”
There wasn’t any time to waste. No hesitation. Once he heard Kamala was taken (M/N) started making his way towards the command center. Gwen, Doreen and Prysm followed close behind. Tony and the other avengers hadn’t even noticed they left. Typical. It really wasn’t hard to find the Command Bridge. The one with the big door on the end of the ship. “You guys ready?” Everyone got into fighting stances. “Yep.” “Yes.” “LET’S DO THIS!”
The door of the bridge was blasted open and the group rushed in. Rushing inside they found Kamala already in her own fight with Hala. “Guys!” Hala looked over and became distracted enough for Kamala to land a punch and knocked her out. “Ugh...that was a pain.” She shook out her hand and ran to her friends. “Guys! (M/N)! Gwen! You’re here!” The sound of footsteps brought the group out of their small victory. Tony and the other avengers ran in. “Oh god. You’re alright. Don’t EVER run off like that again.” Tony panicked. “It’s alright, we’re alright.” (M/N) laughed. “We’re alright for now. But Earth isn’t.” Kamala said, everyone listening to her. “She said she’s ordered the ship to head to Earth and to begin destroying anything it sees. She’s ordered it to raise the planet!” Everyone looked absolutely horrified. “How do we stop it?” Gwen asked. “What about the self destruct? There has to be one on here?” Peter asked. “IT’S BEEN TAMPERED! THE AUTO SELF DESTRUCT HAS BEEN ERASED!” Prysm shouted as they looked through the ship's computer. “There isn’t anything we can do.” (M/N) looked over the computer with Prysm. “That’s not true. The engines. We can set off a detonation and this whole place will blow. Kaboom.” Everyone agreed that sounded like the best plan. “You all get back to the ship and get out of here. I’ll set off the detonation.” (M/N) said making everyone look at him. “No. Absolutely not. I can’t lose you. I just got you back.” (M/N) shook his head. “There’s no time to argue. You all get out of here, I’ll blow this candle stick and escape on one of their ships.” (M/N) began walking towards the engine room but was stopped by Tony. “No. We’ll find another way. It’s too risky. I can send the su-” “DAD!” Tony stopped talking. “Just this once...let me make you proud.” It was then that (M/N) saw it. The love, the worry, everything he ever wanted, in Tony’s eyes. Not looking at Peter...looking at him. Tony relaxed his grip. “Okay...just come back to me. I love you.” (M/N) smiled, tears running down his face. “I love you too. Don’t worry. I don’t plan on dying.”
(M/N) made his way to the engine room, however he was stopped by a group of Kree guards. “Of course you come AFTER.” He didn’t slow down. Using his powers he lifted them up, slamming them into the ceiling then slamming them to the ground. “Welcome to Earth.” He passed them and continued to the engine room. The engine room was large and VERY loud. “Alright...explosion. That’s easy.” (M/N) ran to one of the computers that helped control the reactor. “If I set this to full power and overload that… There. That should do it.” He didn’t need to check anything because as soon as it was locked an explosion from a lower deck shook everything. “Shit. Gotta go...get off the ship, get off the ship!”
Luckily he had checked that the hangar was nearby. Arriving there he discovered all of the ships had been taken. “Great!” Another explosion shook the ship. Was this it? Was this the end? At least he stopped the ship before it could do anything to Earth. He thought of his friends. Gwen, Doreen, Kamala. The avengers, Clint. His dad. At least they were safe. Then the sound of a ship pulling into the hangar brought him out of his thoughts. The ship he arrived on was turning around and Peter and Gwen were on the ramp. “(M/N)! Come on!” Peter called out to him. He didn’t need to be told twice. He began running and used his powers to launch himself up. Peter and Gwen used their webs to to pull him in. They closed the ramp. “He’s in! Get us out of here!” Gwen shouted.
As the ship got safely away from the Kree ship, they watched as the reactor overloaded and the ship exploded into a ball of fire. “You did it. Good job...even if I wasn’t needed.” Gwen said to him. “Hey. To be fair, I thought it would be more of a fight then it actually was.” Gwen lightly punched his shoulder and went to talk to the others. (M/N) was left with Peter. “Hey…” (M/N) spoke. “Hey. Look (M/N) I just wanted to apologize. I didn’t realize tha-” (M/N) stopped him. “Pete. You’ve got nothing to apologize for. I know you weren’t trying to do anything to hurt me. In fact I should probably apologize for smashing your lego death star.” Peter grimaced at the thought. “It’s alright. I got to rebuild it so that was alright. If you’re sticking around I’d love to hang out...maybe be friends?” (M/N) smirked and patted his shoulder. “I’d like that.” Continuing through the ship. He was greeted by the avengers, each embracing him after all of these years for the first time. Clint walked up to him. (M/N) could feel his heart skip a beat. He hadn’t kept in good contact with Clint in a while and he felt bad for it, after all it was him that helped him. “H-hey Clint. It’s good to see you.” Clint glared at him making (M/N) sweat before he broke into a smile and pulled him into a hug. “Oh god...it’s so good to see you kid. You’ve grown up. It suits you.” (M/N) hugged him back. “Thanks dad.” He said in a sarcastic voice. “But for real, thank you. You really helped me discover who I am.” Clint rubbed his head. “Anytime kiddo. Now...I think someone wants to talk to you.” Clint pulled back and turned him towards Tony who was waiting for him. “Dad.” Tony didn’t say anything just quickly pulled him into a hug and held onto him tightly. After the shock wore off, (M/N) held on just as tight. “I really thought that was it. I was going to die there.” Tony let out a laugh, but there was no humor behind it. “I wasn’t about to let that happen.” He pulled back and looked his son in the eyes. “I promise you kid. I’m going to do everything I can to show you how much I love you. I can’t change the past, but I can give us a future. Please let me-” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as (M/N) pulled him into another crushing hug. 
“Let’s go home.”
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justimagaine · 4 years
Text
Well... /Chris Evans
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  Chris has always been a very private person. He liked to keep his private life a secret. Not telling people he was dating someone wasn’t unusual. He’d sometime keep it a secret from some of his friends, mostly because he wasn’t sure if the new relationship was going to last. Those kind of doubts were usually the reason the didn't last. Chris would doubt himself and his part in the relationship, so a lot of times he’d end things before they could even get serious. In the end he’d be hurting himself, with all the fear and doubt.
  That wasn’t the case with you. From the moment Chris met you at a family event, he knew you were like no other. He quickly realized you weren’t going to take anyone bullshit, even if they were THE Chris Evans. Scott was your friend so he had invited you, most of his family knew you. Especially Lisa, their mother, she loved you and a lot of times you two would have lunch. The only person who really didn’t know you was Chris. So when you arrived at the house and he opened the door, he wasn’t the nicest person. He immediately assumed you were a fan and asked you to leave without even really trying to find out if what you were saying was true. So he shut the door leaving you outside. After few seconds of shock you called Lisa to tell her what just happened. The little devil in you was happy to see Chris get scolded by his mother, for being rude.
At first your friendship was a bit rocky but that turned out to be just an act from the both of you. You didn’t hold back, when you talked to him, you were real and when ever Chris would talk to you, he felt free, calm and found himself making comment to you just to get your reaction, just to get you to look at him, talk to him. It didn’t take too long for you two to get together and being a couple was even better. Becoming a couple took down a wall that was placed there while being friends and now you two were even more comfortable and open with each other. 
  You were still the same person you always were, no matter where you two went. It could have been a party with some friends or a fancy award show he took you too, you were still you. Chris loved that about you and felt himself change, become more open and relaxed as long as you were around. You motivate him to do new things, go to new places. Even though he’d hive you a big eye roll before doing anything new, he’d love it and talk about the newest adventure for weeks after. You were his muse, his saver, his safe place, his everything. 
  Chris started to become more open about your relationship, he’d post pictures of you and him or you and Dodger playing. Chris found himself feeling like a regular guy in a relationship, sharing his amazing moment online. The small doubts sometimes still found their way in his mind, but soon you made them all go away. From the start you told Chris you were in it of the long haul, no bullshitting and no quieting over silly reasons. You knew how he could get and knew the moment some anxiety was coming on and when he was starting to doubt things. Doing your best you talked to him before things could get out of hand and soon Chris was coming to you and talking about hings that he felt were coming on, before you even noticed things. He loved you too much to lose you over something silly, lose you because he was just a little bit afraid to open up. 
  Even though he felt as if he was just a regular guy, he still wasn’t as regular as he wished. He was an actor and with that came times where he’d have to give interviews. Since he recently started a new project that luckily was being filled just an hour drive away from home, away from you. To Chris that still was too far, but knowing at the end of that long drive, he’d be home, laying in your arms and covered with soft kisses and light head scratches. He wished he could stay like that with you forever, so it was hard for him to be sitting in a dressing room looking at the couch were you sat, hoping he could just plop down with his head in your lap and do nothing.
  “I love you” he said in a low voice and loud enough fro you to hear him. You looked up from your phone, slightly surprised by the sudden words. With a smile you go up and walked to him. Chris turned in his chair letting you stand between his legs. 
  “I love you too” reaching behind him you gave his head a light scratch and then a light kiss. He hummed and then grunted at the loss of your lips. He wanted more , so much more. You giggled at his reaction. “I’ll give you all the kisses and love when we get home” his eyes shined from your words, Chris held you by your hips, smiled and just looked in your eyes. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was, and usually when he’d have that thought the next one would be, that the luck could fade and he’d lose you soon. Not this time, not anymore. His next thought was how he wanted to make you just as happy as he was, Chris waned to do everything to see you smile all the time, hear your laugh.
  “Excuse me, their waiting for you” an assistant came in calling Chris. You hear him let out a heavy sigh, but it was quickly replaced with smile and a nod. Still holding on to you, he got up, kissed your cheek, lingering a bit longer, holding you tight.
  “You’ll do great. I’m proud of you. I love you” you whispered just for him to hear. Those were words you always told him before an interview or a movie premier or anything that might give him anxiety. Chris took in a deep breath, gave you a proper kiss and walked out. You stayed back and watched his interview on the tv.
  As usual the interview started with exchanged pleasantries. Jimmy complimented and thanked Chris, and he did the same back. Soon they were talking about his new project and what’s coming up. Chris was doing a great job, you smiled as he talking. You really were proud of him and everything he’d done. Everything he’d reached.
  “So I’ve noticed you’ve become more active online. Not only that but you’ve also started to do a lot of adventures things. Like...” Jimmy stop for a moment, lifting up photos “kayaking, 3 day hiking trip in the mountains, then you seemed to have calm down and went pottery making“ Chris laughed looking at the pictures. “What got you to do all this, ticking off things off our bucket list” Jimmy asked making Chris laugh
  “Well...” Chris started, thinking only about you. “I have a girlfriend that loves trying new things and loved to drag me with” you let out a huff and a laugh, since a lot of times he himself finds something adventures for you two to do. “actually that  kayaking thing was my idea, (Y/N) was afraid to do it, but (Y/N) is my brave, cute solder.” Chris talked making people aww and laugh. He wasn’t usually talking about you, especially if not asked. Most of the time he avoided saying your name, to keep you as private as possible, but Chris was so damn happy he wanted everyone to know the person who was responsible for it
  “Looks like you’re very happy” Jimmy said being surprised by how open Chris was about his relationship. Chris nodded 
“Very much so. (Y/N) keeps me grounded and if by any chance my head started to get near to clouds she’ll be the first one to knock me down saying what do you think you’re doing” he said laughing “ and then kiss and hug me to make it all better. Love that crazy, love filled women” as Chris talked his smile grew bigger, he looked at Jimmy who also was smiling. They just smiled and started to laugh, Chris had never had a moment like that on any interview. He was happy, open, excited. He was in a state that if he was asked any question no matter the topic he’d answer.
  Chris knew what being happy felt like, but when he was you Chris could explode with happiness. He knew that in life if you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives, if you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies and sometimes the good you do today will be forgotten the next day, but none of those things were true when it came to you. You always knew all the good Chris did came from his golden heart and you always talked about all the great things he did. Always made sure his family knew his great accomplishments even if he thought they were small and meaningless you didn’t think that, ever. 
  With you he was appreciated, loved and you never gave up on him, no matter how stubborn he could sometimes get, no matter how much he would doubt him. You believed in him so much you could share the believe between the two of you. Having yo support him like that and be there no matter the fights, he woke up every day and thought of new ways to show you how much he loved you. Chris would think of ways to make you smile and feel the same love you gave him, sometimes it would mean doing something that was out of his comfort zone, but in the end he was happy he did it. Anything was worth it to him, when seeing you smile and your eyes shine. There was one thing he wanted to do, but hadn’t found the right way to do it, the right time, the right place. He wanted everything to be perfect for you, but he also remembered you’re words 
   “Nothing in life is perfect.  Flaws are interesting and mistakes or mess ups are the reasons a memory stays with you forever”
So he knew he had to jump over the fear and over planing and let things turn out the way they will. All he had to do was in the end ask the right 4 words and see what happens. 
---
Tag: @chris-butt​ ; @denisemarieangelina
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bereniceteeth · 4 years
Text
Q/Kyūsaku Yumeno with a motherly/older sibling figure headcannons –
_NOTE: feel free to inform me if I gendered Q, their gender is non-confirmed/androgynous (I also want the reader to be gender neutral so tell me if I went wrong there as well); also this is just a small headcannon thing so its not that good lol
_WARNING(S): implied self-harm, murder, and past abuse/trauma; confinement/imprisonment; sadistic mindsets; (notify me if I have missed any)
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Having been a long-time friend of Kōyō Ozaki and having provided useful for the Port Mafia as a pair of eyes under the guise of an average citizen – a nursing student. Ōgai Mori decided to keep you around to treat wounded Mafia members.
Another reason why is because Elise had taken a liking to you.
Although becoming a nurse was never because you registered emotions unconventionally. You just cared, although always knew when to stay silent and mind your own business.
Perfect for deception, is it not?
Around a year into your Mafia endeavours when Mori assigned Koyo to oversee a young boy, Chūya Nakahara. Mori assigned you to oversee and be a child’s caretaker.
Dogra Magra, Kyūsaku Yumeno’s ability, required someone to hurt them to take control over their mind. Thus, Mori thought it fit for you to oversee them.
Little Kyū was only six then. They were more paranoid and confused, instead of sadistic and chaotic.
After learning that you were a nurse, Kyū would stay silent and obedient to whatever you said, heads hanging down. Their eyes would always light up when they saw something they wanted to play with or inspect, but they never dared act. However, whenever you were not around, they would be a normal child.
Of course, later when they began to trust you, he admitted to having a fear and dislike of hospitals. Thus, lead them to mistrust you when they found out you were a nurse.
Slowly, Kyū became more comfortable around you. Well, you did take him into your home.
You loved your days at home. Little Kyū frequently skipped around the house with their doll, talking to the bandaged doll with an adorable smile stitched into their face, lost in their imagination ❤️
When at work, they would usually be attached to your hip, clinging to your leg or hand. They would sit on your desk quietly with a blank look on their face and clutching their doll, if you were busy working, especially if someone else was in the room. If you were having a break, they would swing their legs and softly smile up at you. You two would draw together then often.
Poor baby would get kicked around at base if you were not around :(
Around two years after you took them into your care, they began to have frequent nightmares and panic more easily. Maybe finally letting their defensive walls down had resurfaced past trauma?
But the paranoid and emotional Kyū would only show themselves at home, or in the middle of the night when they would run into your room for comfort. However, at the base they became a lot more smiley. The uncomfortable kind of smiley.
This is when their sadism started to develop.
Although, they were never really like that around you, only to the people who would push you two around.
In the beginning, Kyū would be stuck to your side because they knew that lower ranking members would have to suffer getting no treatment for wounds, no matter how major or minor, if they wronged you. If they were higher ranking, then well, it would not take long for Kōyō to find out.
You tried to guide them away from having a sadistic mentality toward humanity.
In the end, they preferred chaos over peace.
They began to steal razor blades and barbed wire to tie around their arms. You should have known. They did not hold your hand or cling to your leg all day. You know them, you know this is how they get their way.
They had walked around base, letting people push them aside, bump into them, knock their doll out of their hands.
They triggered their ability later that day. Many casualties occurred. Many you could not help, even Mori came down to assist for a small while before he left with executive Osamu Dazai. Taking Kyū with him.
You were not allowed to see or talk to Kyū for days.
 “Mori, please-”
“That kid has to be confined. You’re too busy to keep an eye on them, or just too soft on them,” Dazai intervened firmly from your left. He was never a fan of Kyū, he hated the innocent performance they would play. Strange isn’t it? Dazai, of all people, hates Kyū’s sadism. Either way, because of this, he was not fond of your persistence to take care of them. Despite him being friends with Sakunosuke Oda, a kind man who took in five orphans. “Stick to staying quiet.”
“(L/n), I apologize, but were going to have to retain them within lockdown.” Mori established monotonously, glaring directly into your eyes. You knew better than to challenge them, no matter how much you wanted to.
Kyū already hated humanity, themself. They hated confinement, it reminded them of the hospital.
You just want to take them home.
 It had been three years before Kyū could leave their prison. You spent a great deal of your time with them in that room, you still essentially provided everything for them. You even stayed the night sometimes.
 You opened the heavy metal door leading into Kyū’s ‘room’, the screech of hinges made Kyū jolt awake. They gazed at you in the doorway and flopped back onto the pillow with a smile on his face. You chuckled as you shut the door, hearing the guard situated just outside the door lock it behind you. You sat at the foot of the paint and marker covered white bed, placing your hand softly on his leg underneath the blanket.
“Sorry I came so early; you can still sleep if you want.” You spoke tenderly. It was just past sunrise. Today was the day that Mori gave you a whole day off and allowed you to use your time to take Kyū back home. Only for the day, unfortunately.
“Why so early…” Kyū whined tiredly, turning on their side facing the wall opposite you and cuddled their battered doll closer.
“I’ve got a day off,” You smiled as you studied the various papers of pencil and marker drawings, displaying many gruesome scenes, some being scrawls of colour. You also saw what looked like a sketch of yourself peeking out from under the pile. “And for today… you can come home.”
They immediately shot up, mouth agape, breath getting heavier by the second. Their brown eyes lit up, their unique star and oval pupils sparkling. Tears. They let out a rocky breath and their arms began shaking.
“Home…?”
 The first day you got to bring them back home, Kyū pressed toward their room and stood in the doorway. You spent a good hour and a half comforting a sobbing Kyū, hugging them and their doll when they dropped on their knees.
Baby missed having a home :(
Once a month you would get to see Kyū for the whole day, you two would spend all day at home, they would smile and act like a normal child.
(expect the occasional comment about wanting to break and kill Dazai-)
 Although, they are still sadistic and have a deep love for chaos. It is only with you that they will be tame.
Kyū and you would have small clothing hauls, you cannot help but spoil them at home, their favourite item is the red circular sling bag with an animal’s face and the black coat.
You even brought little accessories for their doll.
BABY LOVES HUGS.
 You were lying contently on your living room lounge watching a crime show that played on the television, while taking glimpses at twelve-year-old Kyū drawing their doll in a sketchbook you brought them recently. They were not sketching as enthusiastically as they usually would, however.
They huffed and dropped the brown pencil, picked up their doll and abruptly flopped on top of you, lying down as well. You lifted an arm to pat their head and run your fingers through their black and white hair.
“You okay?”
“Yeah… I’m tired.” They muttered and groaned. “But I do not want to sleep, I’m tired without the sleepiness. You know?”
“That’s all good, you can stay there if you want.” You had a suspicion they were feeling depressed, which is anything new unfortunately. Home is the only place they have ever let their guard down.
You turn your head back toward the television screen, where the crime scene of a grotesque murder was displayed.
“That’s what I’m going to do to Mr. Dazai.”
“Kyūsaku you will nOT-”
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(might do a part two as an actual oneshot, and better written lol)
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artificialqueens · 3 years
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A Series Of Mutual Feelings, 1/3 (Scarjah) - Pazinae
chapter 1: i hate u (and the feelings mutual)
Chapter Summary: Ra'jah is determined to have a fresh start and be a better person, now enrolled as a first year fashion school student- but Scarlet has a way of always making her newfound plans falter. With a rocky high school history, the (not so) fortuitous pair endure some mutual hatred
A/N: enemies 2 luvers scarjah everyone xoxo meant to be a oneshot, but got a little carried away n my doc for this is currently 19 pages long ahaha so to be more palatable it will be a 4 chapter story (its says 3, but you'll see). this one is mainly the intro for the story to understand where they're at emotionally in the present, and is mostly ra'jah centric on her growth + kylie friendship fluff bc theyre the cutest, and a bit of scarlet pov. feedback super super welcome, enjoy !!! 
***
Scarlet strode down the hall with a sway in her hips, her heels clacking on the laminate floor. What kind of tacky ass bitch wears heels to school anyways? Ra'jah scoffed internally, watched the girl saunter like she's on a tightrope, each tantalizing step brought her foot exactly in front of the other. Her body fell into a rhythm, stomping the fucking campus like a lion stalking the jungle for the sheer fun of watching it’s prey scamper. Scarlet's bouncing skirt, her signature grin and luscious ginger curls sprouting out her scalp made her gag. And not in the stunning way. Just as quickly as she came she was gone, and, to be fair, she was just another girl sandwiched in the masses just getting to where she’s going. But she could pluck that arrogant little redhead bitch out of any crowd. Not a conscious choice of course, hell, being reminded of her sheer presence causes a battle of trying not to roll her eyes behind her skull. She can't help that she sees her. Not when Scarlet's lips are painted the same shade of bold crimson as the tight, sleeveless top she's wearing, like a fresh drop of blood in a sea of grey clad bodies swimming around in their hoodies.
This isn't high school anymore Ra'jah. A repetitive reminder that needs to be said evermore until it's understood at her core. Because It's different now, she knows that- it has to be. No fucking way are her dreams going to get caught up in everything again, they're too big to be put at stake. She can't live just to be like that again, and this time she's too grown to waste her time on useless people. High school was a bubble, a 4 year trance that she's left and is more than ready to forget about. 
"Hey, Ra'jah!" That southern, velvety voice could only belong to one stunning woman. She turned around to spot her speed walking to catch up. 
"Aye! Kylie!" Ra'jah stopped and gave a little wave as Kylie approached, her highlight shining even in the shitty indoor light. The two moved over to the side of the hall, and leaned against the wall. "If it isn't Miss Kylie Sonique Love," With such a pleasing name, Ra'jah doesn't think she will, or, really can ever get tired of saying the other girl's name. "What's up?"
"Nothin', just tired as fuck," It's kinda cute, the way her accent gets stronger when she's grumpy. "I'mma pass out at some point, I did not get enough sleep." Even as a grumble her voice is so soft and angelic, Ra'jah could probably fall asleep to the blonde reading true crime murder stories. 
"Goddamn, it sure as hell doesn't show!" Which is true, Kylie was as effervescent as always, any visible messy hair from under her beanie looked intentional. Even in her oversized t-shirt and shorts, there was an undeniable, captivating charm about her that made it impossible for her to look bad "You look gorgeous girl" 
"Awh, thanks honey," She smiles a soft, hazy smile. "You don't look too bad yourself." She hums, eyeing her up with a grin. Before she could even argue a response, the country girl quickly perks up and slaps her hand on Ra'jah's shoulder in excitement. "Oh also! I want your opinion- I'm thinking about dying my hair pink." She can see the visible sparkle in the pair of eyes looking at hers. "Thoughts?" She asks, voice becoming giddy "Oooh bitch! You better, that'd be so fierce!" The (mostly) purple haired girl exclaimed, delight evident in her voice "For real, you'd look so good. And you know, ba-BY" she claps her hands together just for added emphasis, "I support ALL the impulsive hair decisions".
"Yess, obviously I want input only from bad bitches with the best hair"
"I told you I did these myself right?" she asked, running her shoulder length hair through her twirling fingers. "I've been really into doing hair recently"
"Wait, really? It looks so pretty, the fade to purple is so good"
"What'd you mean 'wait really' hoe, what you implying 'bout my hair skills?" 
"Just that a talented woman like you should share your expertise!" Even when she was loud her voice was just as comforting, the tone reminiscent of a silk blanket on her skin
"All it took for me was bleach, a bottle of violet Arctic Fox dye, and the holy spirit of Brad Mondo"
"First of all I'm not trusting no mans named Brad," Ra'jah cackled a little because, yeah that's fair. "And secondly, if you're free, come an' help a girl out then!
"You're inviting me over? Wow we're moving kinda fast Kylie" 
"Oh shut up bitch" but the undying twinkle in her eye confirmed the unsaid agreement that Ra'jah would be doing Kylie's hair, at some point.
"I'm free on Thursday, can I visit then?"
"Yea that works" She smiled, and the closeness between the two wasn't something the taller girl ever planned, or really felt before. But she had it now, a friend she really cares about, and she never wanted to lose it.
"Shit what time is it?" Even in her Shitty Human era she was still a timely gal, her mother didn't raise no late hoe. "Don't stress it Raj, we have like 15 minutes. Introduction to drafting and sewing, right?"
"Yes ma'am. Wanna start going?" "Sure thing" This year is for a new start, making new friends, and getting a chance to create new first impressions. Rebrand herself y'know, and the hindrance that is Scarlet's existence, wrapped in all the ancient things she'd rather not think about, won't stop her.
The walk to class was a pleasant blur. With Kylie yawning and walking essentially shoulder to shoulder with Ra'jah had they been the same height, they slipped into both  comfortable conversation, and silence. With all the noise around them, their presence brought an ease without any awkwardness. 
 A trek opted through the outdoor route that was albeit a tad longer, provided some well needed greenery and fresh air.
"You excited for class?" Ra'jah asked, only half aware of where she was walking to. Her body was on autopilot, and Kylie knows the way, probably.  
"You're amazing if you can get excited by class"
"It's fun!"
"Only 'cause you're good at it"
"You're good at it"
"You know what I mean. Isn't this one your favorite?" 
"It's not my favorite" 
"Uh huh"
"I just like it a lot. Maybee essentially jus' cause I don't hafta try" It was a mandatory course, but Ra'jah's not complaining. Perhaps it's a little vain to enjoy something just to remind everyone you can do it, but it was an easy break from the rest of the courses. And a nice little egoboost.
"So I'm right!" 
"C'mon it's October and we're still on basic techniques"
"It's called introductory," She remarked. "Do you even pay attention half the time?"
"No but bitch neither do you"
"True" Kylie grinned in agreement.
"The way you're coming for me but it's easy for you too!" She hasn't been sewing as long as Ra'jah, but she has great taste so it really balanced out. "And let it be known that I use that class time to think about incredibly productive things"
"Oh that's her name?"
"What?" She didn't mean for her tone to drop. Didn't mean for her legs to stop walking, planting themselves into the cement. Didn't mean for the smile on her face to plummet at the implication. Her visceral reaction was louder than the cluelessness she gave off.  
"Calm down" She giggled, as if Ra'jah's reaction woke her up from her grogginess, her breathlessness equivalent to a shot of espresso for Kylie. "You just seem really occupied sometimes is what I meant"
"Me? No I'm not" She couldn't convince herself.
"Okay babe. The models of your fashion sketches just look a little reminiscent"  
"You know Scarlet isn't the only person with ginger hair right?" Ra'jah bites back, the condescending tone not her intention, but not exactly unwanted in the moment. Scarlet is insufferable, she doesn't want her own name slandered is all, being associated with the arrogant shit.
"Baby, I ain't mention Scarlet. That's all you.'' She had a shit eating smirk and maybe Ra'jah takes everything back about how nice friends are. IF there was inspiration, Scarlet is objectively nice looking so it's not a big deal there might be similarities if you squint.  
"She was implied" 
"If you want her to be"
They get inside and take a seat at one of the large tables, divided into stations with a sewing machine and some material at each one. Ra'jah takes a spot at the edge, with Kylie seated to her right. 
 On paper, it's all been planned out for Ra'jah; during her strolls between classes she'll take in all her surroundings and actively look for inspiration, pondering all the natural shapes and patterns of the world in a way she can manipulate into clothing. On paper, she'll make the most out of the introductory class, sketching designs between the minimal notes and sewing practices. On paper, she'll finish the mornings class with ease and have extra time to practice some new things. 
In reality? Paper is flimsy, especially when its accountability is held by a fleeting mind. It's hard to bask in the world when unwanted questions plague her head. Mostly revolving around a certain redhead. God, fuck her. Fuck her pretty eyes and fuck her sculpted face and fuck her euphonious voice. Does everyone who sees Ra'jah see her patheticness? How she allowed some cunt to infiltrate her mind, set up home in her head and take up all the space? Let her infect every cell in the brain like a parasite until her skull is nothing but an infiltrated shell for an infestation caught up with infatuation?
"Ra'jah, you good?"  The girl sat across from her, Trinity, piped up, and Ra'jah had to bite back a smile. The icy, timid girl she met just a few weeks ago was starting the conversation.
"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"
"You just looked a little spaced out" 
"Nah, it's just that this class is a breeze an' I'm just thinking about a project for another class" 
"Mmm"
"Plus it's hard to just think of designs when there's no inspiration"
"I mean, we're supposed to practice gathering and making ruffles right now"
"Oh shit! We are?"
"Yeah girl!" Ra'jah, shaking her head at herself, finally picked up some of the fabric around her and got to work. "You'll be alright?"
"Oh don't worry about me! I'm all good"
"Okayyy if you need anything just yell" Ra'jah replied with a hum and a nod. Watching the girl running the fabric under the machine, memories of the first time they'd talked flashed, days of the nearly silent girl feeling so distant.
  "I really like your earrings" The girl raised her head, looking left and right a little as if making sure it was directed at her. 
"Thanks." She mumbled, vaguely looking at Ra'jah's direction. 
"If you don't mind, where'd you get them?"
"Uh, I thrifted it."
"Oh, cool" Ra'jah smiled, before quickly adding "Thanks". The raven haired girl didn't reply. The start of the intriguing game of 'does she hate me, is she shy, or both?' 
   After all the awkward attempts made for the quiet girl to be comfortable and maybe make a friend, a sense of pride rang through her. She met Kylie and Trinity here a mere month ago, and yeah, maybe she could be nice. She could walk the fineline of warm socialization without being annoying. The new Ra'jah doesn't do unnecessary mean quips just for the sake of a little power rush. She can be authentically her while being polite. New Ra'jah makes friends- not enemies. 
"Oh by the way" Ra'jah snapped her head up at Trinity's voice 
"Yeah, what's up?"
"I know it's a little random but do you know what you're gonna be for Halloween?"
"Huh. Well, I haven't really thought about it" Ra'jah remarked, "I just don't care for Halloween and all that"
"Really? Girl, you're not gonna do anything, dress up, go out, nothing?"
"Baby all that work and money for some costume I'll wear once? No ma'am- and the fuck will I do, I barely have ideas for school!"
"Hey, you could wear anything and it's a costume. Wear a black dress, you're a cat"
"You think I'm that basic?"
"Yeah?"
 "Fuck you" She snorted, and Trinity had a goofy smile, looking at Ra'jah with a sense of familiar fondness. "And thanks, really, but I don't care for all that spooky shit anyways"
"Damn, alright!" Teeth out and all, she laughed. The blonde on the right leaned in a little, a pleasant opposition of Trinity's hesitation is Kylie's eagerness
"Jesus Ra'jah, what did Halloween do to you?" The southern girl butts in. "You could dress as the grinch of Halloween, steal children's candy" 
"You know what, yeah, I'll be a sluttified grinch"
"You're kinda built the same already" Trinity joins with a grin
"Hey!"
"Sluttified? Are you implying the grinch isn't sexy enough?" Ra'jah choked a little at that, found herself smiling with some dopey content, at what exactly she's not sure. 
"Do ya'll think being the grinch would count as like, being a furry?" Trinity asked, voice dripping in an odd amount of seriousness. 
"What? Baby no" Kylie jumped in. "Yes! absolutely, how would it NOT?" Trinity argues, and maybe it's the easiness of everything.  Of how nice it is to just fall into banter when you let people in. Bouncing off the two girls, she doesn't need to think of how to be funny, how to one up herself, remind everyone of why she's worthy. She can just, be. And that warrants a smile. 
With Ra'jah's elbow propped on the table, she rested her cheek against her palm to face forward, before turning a little to face Trinity
"But why do ya ask Trin? About Halloween"
"Oh, kinda last minute but I just want some ideas to figure mine out" She shrugs, and Kylie leans over once more. It's a little heartwarming, how physically close she always instinctively wants to be. 
"Oh! Are you going to the Halloween party this weekend?"
"Nah parties aren't really my thing"
"Awh, but it'll be fun!"
"Yeah standing in a mass of people I won't talk to will be so fun"
"Fine- Ra'jah, are you goin'?" Rajah turns her head to follow the voices like a cat keeping up with a beam of light. 
"Uh..."
"RIGHT, forgot, Halloween's not your thing". A party where she can have a disguise, let loose and have fun. It feels almost embarrassing to admit to her newfound friends that she's never been to a party, and the thought of a Halloween party didn't even cross her mind. Maybe Halloween isn't not her thing, it's just not something she'd indulge in. For reasons. Like, schoolwork. 
"Welllllll…" Ra'jah hummed, dragging on with a small grin
"OH the prospect of partying changes things huh?" 
"You know, me an' Halloween, we complicated okay!" They laugh, but Ra'jah's left thinking. New or old Ra'jah both, spends a little too much time in the internal realm of the brain. 
The class falls silent except the murmurs of the buzzing machines, and the three chatter in whispers. Although usually it's mostly her and Kylie with occasional injections of confirmation from Trinity
"You're insane if you think spaghettini is better than fettuccine" Kylie protested "Spaghettini is literally the objective worst"
"Says who?!" Ra'jah paused sewing to look up at Kylie in defiance
"Me!"
"Trinity which is better" 
"Huh? Ya'll It's too early for this." Trinity complained.
"Oh, says the bitch who asked if the grinch was a furry" Ra'jah retorted, but Trinity brushed her off to look at Kylie "Oh wait! Also, Kylie, what're you gonna be for Halloween?" She gave a little snicker before answering 
"Don't come for me but honestly? Was thinking about being a cat" 
"AAAAAH!" Ra'jah and Trinity erupted laughing.
"But like, a hot one okay!" Ra'jah quickly tried to redeem herself.
"You'll be the hottest ass cat around" Plus, worse comes to worst, Ra'jah will be a witch or something, and they can be hot and basic together. 
When the class ended, they packed their things, and exchanged their goodbyes
"I'll see y'all around!"
"See you! Good luck on your textile project Trin" 
"Thanks!" She waved, yelling a final "Bye!" 
"Bye!" The three part, and Ra'jah makes her way to her second class. History of costume and design was next, and quickly weighing it out, she decided to take a quicker path through the halls. Suddenly, the weight of a body knocked at her side, the two stumbling around for a few seconds. A gust of papers had fallen from both parties' arms, and landed on the floor.
"Oh shit! I'm so-" Scarlet cuts herself off when she looks up at whom she's bumped into.
"Maybe watch where you're going" Ra'jah snorts out of sheer instinct, squatting down to gather her papers where Scarlet follows suit, just a little too close. The vague, sweet scent of strawberries she gives off is suffocating.
"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" The attention sends a masochistic jolt down her spine
"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" As much as she screamed internally to just shut the fuck up and get your things, it was so easy to slip back to this.
"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try"
"Baby, me? Fail out?" Please don't imply that. Please don't make me doubt that I can and deserve to be here. I don't want to seek approval from others, but I can't help but be hurt at disapproval. Of course, her thoughts don't verbalize as the words that come out of her mouth. "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying" Before she can think it through, process the flash of hurt on her face and the way her fingers tense around the last piece of paper, before Ra'jah can really understand the weight of her own words she continues. "But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?"
Their exchanges were in aggressive whispers, hushed to anyone above them. To most people, they'd find a sight of two girls muttering to one another while they pick up some things they've dropped.
"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" Scarlet huffed, standing up in one swift motion. Those words aren't a compliment. Like, at all. So why does Ra'jah's dumb, twisted heart stop for a second? The implied connection of herself and 'pretty' slows her body and slurs her mind until she's pushing herself up off the ground in slow motion. It's been so many months of mundanity, the small interaction felt all so familiar and foreign and exciting at the same time.But the haziness of her words and their little games makes her forget for a second of what the fuck just happened, and a wave of patheticness washed over her as she started to walk, eyes focused at the cream walls. For all her hemming and hawing, Ra'jah hasn't. Fucking. Changed. 
A rush of everything dives into her guts, a sick adrenaline coated in dread, self loathing and the slight urge to cry, nestling in her stomach like a bird claiming a branch as it's home. Her skin was electric, and she hated to admit she loved it, the thrill of interacting with her, cattiness and all. Imagine feeling this much from fucking bumping into someone? Fingers clenched, nails digging in her own palms at how much she hates her. Intense emotions are a high of their own, and Ra'jah can't help but indulge. The piercing sting of her flesh being pressed in with her nails is intensified as she listens for the faint voice of that lanky girl always accompanying Scarlet. 
"You good Scarlet?"
"Yeah, thanks" She can't look back, but she can't help but wonder- are they hugging? Holding hands? It doesn't- it shouldn't matter to her. The fun amusement pales in comparison to the misery settling in. The realization that she's fighting with Scarlet like they're 16 at the back of English class.
Of all the schools, why'd that girl have to come here? Of all the things to pursue, why the same as herself? Of all the people, why'd it have to be her? Ra'jah didn't have the audacity to explore the last question. What she means, she's not too sure. The only thing in the world she's sure of is that she can't be both New Ra'jah™ and Old Ra'jah™ to different people. The line between the two existences isn't so bold anymore, and painting over the bumps isn't as effective as she'd hoped. 
  ***
  Truth be told, watching herself move around in skirts was one of her favorite things- just about tied with watching others watch her. Maybe that's why she joined cheer in highschool. Especially with the support from (or, lack of thereof) a certain grimacing purple haired girl, a runaway model from a fashion show who wound up wandering this school. She never needed to turn and look, didn't need sight to know there's a burn at her back, nor who it's radiating from. Scarlet always walked with just a bit of a straighter back, just a bit more purpose, and just a bit more stride in her step when her favorite pair of wandering eyes were around. A small part of her always wants to turn around, catch her gaze and watch her frantically look away and pretend she's talking to someone. Or maybe she'll hold it, stare back with just as much intensity. But her wistful attention is enough of an ego boost. The scowl ridden bitch, smile washed away just for her, and yet that's where her attention lied. It made her bite back a smile. 
Scarlet is a pretty thing, and she didn't need constant confirmation to remind her that she's beautiful. She's hot, she knows it, Ra'jah knows it, and Scarlet knows that's all she is to her. A pretty thing. Whatever. She's not important. 
In fear of her brain melting, and/or being fried to a crisp, Scarlet doesn't bother having two classes back to back. Her mental capacity is full, and a nice salad will probably help with that. She's on her way to meet with Yvie for lunch, thinking about their weekend plans, when she takes a misstep and stumbles, all her weight focused in her shoulder which slams against someone else's side.
"Oh shit! I'm so-" the universe is an asshole. May the odds never be in my favor. 
"Maybe watch where you're going" Her sneer is venomous, and the universe has suddenly become just the second biggest asshole. 
"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" Ra'jah didn't do anything, a rational voice lectures, but she ignores it the way she's ignoring the taller girls face. Scarlet's grabbing at her papers, avoiding eye contact because that selfish pile of shit on her right takes up enough space as is, and if she looks into her eyes, sees that stupid fucking face this close she might do something bad. Like, in the sense of, punching her. Yeah, she can't look at her or she'll beat her up. Because that's a fight she'd win.  
"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" Ra'jah snides, and she needs to drop out before Scarlet gets grey hair from her. 
"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try" Her words are about as empty as her own stomach, because she hasn't eaten since last night, and Ra'jah will quit fashion school and become a science engineer before she fails out. 
"Baby, me? Fail out?" Yeah, with the flawless outfit you're wearing that you sure as hell made just because you were bored one night. Your pants could literally be sold as a luxury brand. The girl who started sewing when she a embryo in the womb, you'll fucking fail out.  "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying- But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?" Scarlet looks up, not at Ra'jah but away from the ground, and the urge to yell, hit her, and cry come up at the same time. She wants to scream, get everyone in hearing range to know that Ra'jah is a loser who will amount to nothing. She wants to reach out and choke her. But articulating her anger into words is too much, and she ends up just whispering whatever words are willing to come out as she gets up, not caring if she left any papers behind. 
"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" And that's the closest thing to honest Scarlet's said all day. 
In the distance, she sees Yvie walking towards her, so she waits until the freshly dyed green haired girl is caught up beside her. 
"You good Scarlet?" 
"Yeah, thanks" The two walk together, side by side, and Scarlet loops her arm through Yvie's, linking the pair. 
"You know, Scarlie, you should stop wearing heels before you break your ankles"
"Hey!" She giggled, slapping the taller girl's arm in response. "I never fall, people just get in my way" Yvie scoffs, unable to stop the corners of her lips turning up and giving her away, forever endeared by the shorter girl. Scarlet's affection makes her forget that they've only known each other for a month. They reach a set of blue doors, and Yvie opens it, holding it for Scarlet to come through. Her face seems puzzled 
"Are you down to go to Mika's Cafe? I want to get some coffee" 
"Sure, they have nice breakfast sandwiches and omelettes, I'm down" It's only a few minutes away from campus 
"What's on your mind"
"Just like, school stuff. I have to make a dress for creative fashion design, and I'm just thinking about it, and what I wanna do" Would it be tmi to blurt that Ra'jah is insufferable? 
"Cool," Yvie hummed, and spiteful words cycled through Scarlet's head, deciding on what exactly to say, before Yvie beats her to it, whipping her head in some seeming urgency
 "OH by the way, I know you're busy with your project and you're determined on getting in the top 5 and all," 
"Uh huh" 
"Buuuuut, there's a Halloween party this weekend, and I was gonna go with Brooke and her friends but they're not going anymore," Scarlet knows how Yvie feels about Brooke, and to be fair she's only met her a few times in passing, but how someone like Yvie could fall for someone as uptight as the boring blonde is beyond her. She doesn't dare bring up another possibility of why her dorm mate would be avoiding the stoic girl, a possibility involving a particularly hot headed latina glued to the Canadians side. "They decided clubbing downtown would be more fun or whatever," They're outside on the pavement now, and the afternoon breeze graces their skin. It's a welcome environment, and Scarlet slows down her pace to enjoy the air, with Yvie quickly matching her pace. 
"Wouldn't you rather go clubbing though? Like not with Brooke and them but with others," Scarlet is friendly and all, but she swears Yvie is somehow friends with half the school. She sure as hell can find a group to go with.
"I guess, but I want to go to the party," she quiets a little as she continues, "There are some people I want to see there, for fun and stuff"
"Mmmm!" Scarlet widens her eyes, looking at the taller girl with a knowing glare, sprinkled with a teeny bit of judgement. 
"It's kinda lame to go there alone!" 
"No it's not!" 
"Scarls, yeah it is"
"Why do you even care? Wanna impress some girls?" In response, Yvie rolled her eyes so hard Scarlet could practically feel it. 
"'Cause you want me to go to a fun Halloween party by myself? 
"Yes! You could walk up to anyone and there's like an 80% chance you already know them, and a 100% chance you'll become friends anyways" The quirky girl's charm is undeniable, she'll be fine without Scarlet. Yvie gives a defeated sigh
"Seems kinda homophobic" 
"Ugh you know what's actually homophobic? The fact that more people aren't madly in love with me. I'm LITERALLY perfect" The prospect of love feels like it's been dangled infront of her, her whole life. Imagine looking like Scarlet, and never dated before?
"You're right girl, you are" Yvie laughed her deep, hearty cackle and Scarlet wanted to melt a little. 
"Thank you, finally someone with taste" Looking at her outfit, she remembers that the tall girl's taste is kind of debatable, and Scarlet almost wants to say she takes it back
"You think Ra'jah has good taste then?" 
"What?" 
"Also a party seems like the best way to meet more people y'know?" She brushes over her last question, and it's much better that way.
"You know what, whatever 'll go with you" Scarlet agrees so she'll shut up. If she hears her roommate bring up she-who-shall-not-be-named-because-shes-a-stick-in-the-ass anymore she might lose her mind. And, she really doesn't have any other plans for the night so might as well.
 ***
AN: going to be a while for the next chapter bc im busy so here's a lil thing lol xo
***
They weren't supposed to meet here. Weren't supposed to see each other. At least, that's what Scarlet tries to tell herself.
"You are such a fucking pain, oh my god" Scarlet seethed because everything is hazy except the impassive girl standing before her and she can't think straight. Her cold eyes are apathetic and Scarlet wants to implode, like a glass thermostat engulfed in a burning heat where it's not a question of if, but an inevitable when? "Maybe I am arrogant" Her voice was coated in a sickly sweet frustration. She pushed further into Ra'jah's space, the taller girl stiffening at the ever decreasing space between the two. How can she be so still, so unreactive? This is all so amusing to her? Is she having fun, so fucking detached from everything and watching Scarlet crumble? Pretending like she cares about Scarlet past her pretty face? Enjoying her sadistic game? Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her. 
"Maybe I am narcissistic" Their faces were inches apart, and Ra'jah could feel the angry womans hot breathe on her cheek, the pungent smell of alcohol intruding her nose.
"But I'd rather be a confident, arrogant narcissist than whatever kind of sad fuck you are" 
Scarlet growled, and she wanted to breathe fire, burn Ra'jah's existence out of her mind and scream at everything she felt because of her. Except that she sees her, and wants her, wants to hurt her and touch her and without thinking her hands are digging around Ra'jah's waist.
"You are such-" Scarlet was interrupted as the other girl leaned in, framed the shorter girl's face with both her hands, and pressed her lips against Scarlets. Any thoughts or mental functionality she had were put to an abrupt stop. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's been so long, but no time has passed since they were last like this. The plug to her brain was pulled, and it's all static and her bodys done a full 180. Ra'jah's piercing lips are numbing, and her overheated body feels like it's been dunked in ice where all her nerves are all in shock. They weren't supposed to do this anymore, it's the only thing they've ever been able to agree on. She was frozen, unable to move, or think, far too busy being hyper focused on the familiar sugary lips on hers, sending waves of nostalgia through her body. Time has only heighted the intoxication. She gains some composure and surges forward, but Ra'jah's pulling away, opening her mouth to finally say something.
"You're so much prettier when you're quiet"
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lilxberry · 4 years
Text
Can’t Quite Quit You - Chapter 1
Synopsis;
It appears that Mr Stark once had a Mrs Stark in his life that certainly wasn’t his mother. Tony and reader must work around their rocky path for the sake of the Avengers and the work the must focus on together once again.
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Warnings: Language. Mentions of past relationship. That’s about it for this Chapter.
Words: 2,840
Pairing: Tony Stark x OC (past), James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes x OC (platonic)
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(A/N: This is a separate series I will be working on. There will be confusing changes to the characters, original plots and relationships between people. For example;
Tony stark will have been previously married to OC
Morgan will be in existence at the age of 5 in this for a plot that will happen in future chapters
I have set direct ages for some characters like Tony and Rhodey which will respectively be 45 and 46
Tony and Rhodey will have met before they canonly met
Any further changes to things that I feel will need to be discussed, I’ll add them before the chapter begins in an authors note.)
(A/N 2: I will foreseeably not be posting on Thursdays and Fridays. I WILL continue to write during those days though ((if I do not have college work to complete during those nights)) and post them any other days of the week. Also, Chapter three of The Glitch should be up Saturday. Read chapter 2 here.)
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She took one last look around her home that was now vacant and clear of all her belonging, dark from the late hours of the night. Chloe sighed through her nose softly and lugged the last box in her arms through the threshold, closing and locking the door behind her, posting the key through the letterbox then proceeding to head to her car.
One Nick Fury had requested her scientific knowledge to be put to use helping the Avengers. It took a lot of persuasion on Fury’s and Rhodey’s part. Rhodey and Chloe are practically life-long friends with how close they once were, knowing each other for many years, still regularly keeping in touch. So, when Fury approached him about about recruiting her to the more scientific and engineering department of the Avengers, he had contacted her immediately in the hopes of convincing you to take up his offer.
She was renowned in her work as a scientist and robotic engineer, although, no one would truly know it’s her. She gave herself an alias, disliking the attention and wanting the focus to be purely on her work. 
Usually, Chloe wouldn’t need to be sweet talked into such an amazing opportunity but certain circumstances with a certain someone had left a bitter after-taste in her mouth and, if you hadn’t picked up on this yet, that certain someone is, let’s just say, closely involved with the Avengers.
We’ll get on to whom she refers to later.
Placing the last box into her Vauxhall Wagon, she climbed into the drivers seat and began her journey to compound, leaving behind her comfortable and solitary life where she focused solely on living and work. As she drove down the desolate dirt road, her eyes drifted to the rear view mirror, noting the stand alone house surrounded by fields upon fields, slowly fade away as she put distance between it and herself.
Her mind wandered as she travelled, wandering into crevasses she wished would not be explored, memories she thought she had locked away behind barriers and chains well enough.
Chloe thought of him, what his reaction will be when he sees her for the first time in 13 years. If he’s changed, if he thinks she’s changed which admittedly, she had. 
She knew what he looked like recently, of course she did, he was all over the fucking news. She couldn’t even open up Google on her laptop without his bloody face showing up but she hadn’t the slightest clue on what was going on in his life apart from being one of Earths mightiest heroes and quite frankly, she didn’t want to know either.
As she pulled up to a red light, she leaned back into her seat and closed her eyes as she exhaled loudly. A million scenarios passed through her head at how the interaction could play out. She knew things would be fine though, Rhodey would be by her side, a comforting presence helping her through the ordeal.
Her eyes were open once more as she watched the lights change. She turned her radio on, hopeful the loud 80′s rock blaring from the speakers would drown her thought out, remotely giving her a peaceful 10 hour drive.
“Fuck. Me.”
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After a gruelling 11 hours and 45 minutes drive, the compound came into view as she passed the trees surrounding the large, sleek building. Chloe noticed the many people training on the grounds, making the assumption that they were employees of S.H.I.E.L.D., agents training to maintain their fit-for-field-work physique.
As she closed in on the compound, she noticed three figures standing near the entrance. As her eyes adjusted, she was able to recognise Director Fury, whom she had seen through her laptop screen when they first made contact, and Captain America himself stood beside a woman she did not recognise.
Her car slowed to a stop, becoming still then silent as she killed the engine. She huffed out a breath as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door, swinging her legs out first, happy to finally stretched her legs and exit the vehicle finally.
She breathed in a the fresh air as she stoop up, momentarily closing her eyes to give them a well deserved break, adding moisture back into her green orbs. She quickly recomposed herself and closed her door, rounding the car and taking a few small paces forwards to meet the trio.
“Doctor Miller. I’m glad you took me up on my offer.” Fury extended his arm towards the woman for a handshake which she shook with firmly with confidence. As he retracted his hand for hers and began to gesture to the two beside him. “This is Agent Maria Hill and I assume that you already know who this man is.” He gestured over towards the fellow brunette and the Nations favourite super soldier who both gave the woman a friendly smile.
“You assumed correctly.” She mused as she thrust her right hand towards each other them to shake as her left slides into her front pocket of her jeans. “It’s good to meet you both.”
Steve was the next to speak. “It’s good to meet you, too. A few of us have been informed of your work and I believe you’ll be a great addition to the team, working in the labs.” He sent you a charming smile. “I think you’ll fit in nicely with the others.”
“I’m glad you think so.” Chloe sent him a smile back. They noted the lack of shyness, she exudes confidence and is clearly prideful of the work she has put out into the world.
“We should introduce you to the rest of the team in the living area.” Maria speaks up, catching the attention of the other three. They nodded simultaneously in agreement. “If you hand me the keys to your car, we can collect your stuff and take them on to your floor. We’ll move your car into the a secluded area for safe keeping as well.”
Chloe nodded but spoke before handing her keys over. “Let me just quickly grab something and we can get moving, I guess.” Maria gave a curt nod of her head and Chloe walked back towards the Vauxhall. 
She opened up the front passengers side door and reached in to retrieve a box off of the passengers seat and her back pack from floor in front. Satisfied she’s grabbed everything of real personal value, she straightens herself out, closes the door with her hip and makes her way back over to the trio who was patiently waiting by the entrance.
She swiftly handed her keys over to the agent of three before following Fury and Steve through the doors and towards an elevator at one end of the large space.
“Would you like any help with that bo-”
“NO!” She cuts the captain off quickly, emphasising loudly. She cleared her throat before continuing. “Uhm, no, thank you. Sorry, the stuff in here is really important to me and I’d rather not put it into the large hands of a stranger, no offence.” She smiles up at the man bashfully. He smiles at her apologetically in return.
“No worries, sorry.”
As the elevator finally arrived, they stepped inside and rode up to the main communal floor all the Avengers use. The ride was relatively silent, until Fury spoke up. “Rhodes has been quite excited to see you, you know.”
She smiled at the mention of her friend. “I’ve been pretty excited to see him too. Not seeing him in person for 12 years is a pretty long time.” She chuckled at the thought.
Steve smiled as he watched the woman speak kind words about her friend, voicing how, after all this time, she would seemingly still be excited to see an old friend.
They fell back into a comfortable silence, listening to the hum of the elevator as it works to ascend pass multiple floors. A simple ‘Ding’ cut through the silent machinery and soon after the metallic doors slid open, reveal the mixed group of people as they turned their attention to the three now steeping out. 
The silence was daunting as the team watched them walk towards them. The silence was soon broken once again as Rhodey pushed passed the few stood in his way, a massive smile had broken on to his face. “Hey there, Pip.”
She grinned at the use of her childhood nickname. “Well, if it isn’t my favourite Lieutenant Colonel.” She sent him a playful wink as she placed her back pack and box gently on to the ground before surging forward, engulfing the man in a long awaited hug.
He immediately responded by wrapping his arms tightly around her shoulders, closing his eyes to bask in the loving moment between friends for as long as time would allow him. “You’ve grown.” She mumbled.
“You’ve shrunk, short ass.” She pinched his back through his shirt and his chest vibrated as he laughed.
He leaned back, looking at how she’s aged well in person. A few frown lines are scattered across her forehead and dark bags from lack of sleep evident on face but he couldn’t help but notice that she still had that same beautiful, youthful features that remained from their 20′s.
A cough from behind Rhodes brought them out of their small reunion, forcing their attention on to the group awaiting anxiously for an introduction. “Oh shit, right. Avengers, this is Chloe Miller, Pip, these are the Avengers.”
They all flashed her a welcoming smile as she drank in all of their faces. 
‘Too many damn people. I’m not gonna get used to this quickly.’ Chloe thought to herself as she continued to study the heroes before her.
“Maybe we should actually start introductions instead of standing here looking like a bunch of mute dumbasses.” The man she recognises as Hawkeye spoke with a hint of sarcasm. “I’m Clint.”
He began to point at individuals as he recited their names to her. “That’s Natasha, Bucky and Sam. Over there we have Wanda, Vision and Thor. And finally, Carol, Stephen and Scott.”
“Lady Chloe, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Thor boomed as he quickly made his way over to her in just two large strides and proceeds to pat her shoulder.
“Yeah, nice to meet you too, Salt.” She winced slightly as she rolled the shoulder the God had previously touched with his large, powerful hands roughly, referencing the Angelina Jolie character with long, blonde hair.
“I apologize for my rough housing, lady Chloe.”
“All good, buddy.” She patted his arm to show there were no hard feelings between the two.
As it looked like Thor was to reply yet again, Steve decided to interject. “There’s a few more of us but they’re currently either out, busy in the labs or away for other matters, personal or other.”
“Cool.” She simply replied to the man. As formalities and introductions continued to be exchanged between the group she noticed a small girl peer from behind Scott, she appeared to be young, like 9 or 10.
The young girl wasn’t necessarily shy in any way, she just chosen to stay out of the way as the adults talked. Chloe tilted her head towards Rhodey who still stood beside her. “Didn’t realise you guys were a fucking day centre.” She joked quietly, causing the man to let out a chuckle at the crack.
“That’s Scott's kid, Cassie. It was Scott's weekend and she really wanted to stay at the compound. She’s a sweet kid.” Rhodey informed her. she nodded in acknowledgement before making the decision to take a step forward and lower herself down to the child's level.
“Hey there.” She smiled sweetly at the girl. “I heard that your name’s Cassie. I think that’s a super pretty name.” This caused the young girl to send a smile to the 43 year old and step closer.
“I think your name is pretty too.” Cassie spoke in a sweet voice, tone laced with a childlike chirpiness.  
“I think we’re gonna get along great, Cassie.” She stuck her hand out towards the girl to finalise their meeting. Cassie grasps Chloe’s hand into her small, dainty one and shook it lightly.
Chloe straightened herself out and sent one last smile towards the girl before stepping back to her original position next to Rhodey. The man smiled sadly as he watched her in the corner of his eye, a knowing look in his eye as he noticed the smile that didn’t quite match the solemn look in her eye as she continuously glances as Cassie.
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The group of people had migrated to the couches within the living space, continue to conversate with the newest addition to the building although, Scott had taken Cassie out to get food and have some daddy-daughter time.
As they continue to get to know each other, the elevator dinged once more, signifying the arrival of more people. Chloe peered over, seeing one Doctor Robert Bruce Banner, whom she was a big fan of, and a young male at his side. 
‘Seriously. How many kids do they let in here?’ 
“Ah, Bruce, Peter. We’d like to introduce you to Doctor Chloe Miller. She’ll be working in the labs with you and Stark.” Steve spoke to the two. Chloe stood up, ignoring the mention of Anthony and met them halfway, shaking Banner’s outstretched hand.
“Doctor Banner, it’s wonderful to meet you. I’ve read all your papers. Your thesis's are impressive, to say the least.” He smiled sheepishly at Chloe. She noted he was quite the humble man. 
“Thank you, Doctor. I look forward to working with you in the lab. Young Peter here works alongside us in the labs sometimes.” He directed her attention to the teenage boy that stood to his left.
“P-Parker Peter. I-uh-I mean, Peter Parker.” He wiped his hands on the front of his jeans before reaching to shake the woman’s, stumbling over his words. 
She chuckled at the young boys behaviour and sent him a comforting smile which seemed to have helped him significantly. “Don’t worry kid. It’s nice to meet you. You must have a bright mind to be working alongside Banner occasionally.”
He beamed at this as he flushes a light shade of pink at her compliment. “I mean, I’m okay, I guess.” She laughed at his also apparent humbleness.
“Sure, kid.” She patted his shoulder gently before moving to sit beside Rhodey again.
Bruce and Peter joined the others on the couches, sitting in any space that was available. As they settled into their seats, Natasha spoke out over the small murmurs between people. “Tony still in the lab?”
“Yeah, he should be up in a few minutes though.” Banner replied then looked over towards Chloe. “Doctor Miller, have you met Stark before?” He questioned.
Rhodey and Chloe shared a look, almost seemingly having a miniature conversation telepathically that didn’t go unnoticed by the group. “I guess you could say that I have.” 
Before the scientist could ask what she had meant by her statement, the elevator dinged once again, announcing a new arrival. “Why is everyone so damn quiet? Who fucking died guys?” He spoke as he walked further into the space, not looking up from the tablet his eyes were glued to.
Chloe didn’t even need to look to know it was him. His voice hadn’t altered that much over the years.
Tony’s eyebrows furrowed together when his question was met with silence. He tore his gaze away from tablet that displayed plans for one of his new suits and looked around at each person sat on the couches. He did a double-take when his eyes reached a a certain brunette from his past, a brunette he hadn’t seen in 13 years. 
“Chloe.” He breathed out, multiple emotions are on display in his eyes alone but the most noticeable of them all is shock which is etched across his face. 
She stood up straight, looking him directly in the eyes, her face stoic but voice laced with many emotions. “Stark.” She spoke with anger, malice in her tone. 
Tony quickly recomposed himself before draining his face of emotion to match Chloe’s. “Don’t say my name with so much hate, Pip. After all, it was yours as well at some point in time.”
Rhodey closed his eyes for a brief moment as he sighed softly before joining the pair in standing, staying close to Chloe as he knows he needs his support most right now.
The rest of the Avengers, excluding the pairs best friend, looks at them in confusion, unsure of the true meaning behind his statement. “What do you mean you used to share it?” Wanda spoke up, her accent thick and laced with curiosity.
Then suddenly, it’s as if the newly gained information and witnessing the interaction between the two had made something click, everyone’s features change as quickly as a flick of a switch. 
“No fucking way...”
“You guys are...”
“YOU GUYS ARE MARRIED?!”
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Something a bit different
Never done an OC before but I kinda liked how this turned out
I hope you enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it
As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and appreciated :D
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pi-cat000 · 4 years
Text
MSA: Take Back The Future (part 3)
Summary: Vivi and Arthur travel back in time to the beginning of Hellbent. Neither of them are okay. 
(Part 1) (Part 2)
.
Mystery, instead of answering Vivi’s questions, leaps over the seat dividing the front and back areas of the van, exiting out the back doors.
“Wait, ” Vivi yells after Mystery, “get to back here and explain what happened to my memories.”
/It is not a tale that can be simply told. Not right now when we may be in danger/
Arthur thinks kitsune turned dog sounds slightly strained but it’s hard to really tell with Mystery’s weird telepathy. When the meaning of words are projected right into your brain some of the nuance is lost.
“Who is Shiromori? Why is she attacking us?” Vivi tries, following to glare at Mystery who circles the van, barely paying attention to the two of them. “Just answer one question!”
His mechanical arm twitches of its own accord and he eyes it nervously.  To hell with it. Arthur frees his hand and begins to feel about for the quick release lever hidden under a panel on his upper arm. After the van crash and almost getting thrown to his death, the arm had been too banged up to safely remove, jamming in place.  Best to be rid of it now, before everything when to shit all over again.
The sound of his heavy metal arm hitting the ashfelt draws Vivi’s attention and she turns to give him a quizzical expression.
“Better off then on,” He explains, “Wasn’t really working that well anyway. Hopefully, that’ll get rid of the curse as well.” Honestly, this cruse is the least of his worries.
Vivi exhales and Arthur can see the stress pinching her mouth, pulling it down into an uncharacteristic frown, “If the curse is specifically attached to your arm then removing it might work. On the other hand, if it’s anything like the one that got my memories then who the hell knows what will work. I certainly don’t. Apparently, I don’t know a lot of things.”
The last sentence is louder, directed at Mystery. There is no response from the dog who is staring off into the middle distance, head to one side like he is listening intently for something.  Arthur offers Vivj an uneasy shrug. He has his own questions for Mystery regarding Vivi’s memories, his arm, and the night they both went missing. However, his most recent run-in with dead-Lewis has him quickly reordering his priorities. None of the answers are going to mean much if he’s dead. Again…
Speaking of which… On the horizon, a purple light flares, glowing brightly against the dark backdrop. Arthur’s mouth goes suddenly dry and limbs feel very cold. Yeah, that seamed about right…
/You called this spirit Lewis?/ Mystery turns his head to examine him, expression troubled. /Are you sure?/  
He gives a short nod, eyes darting from Mystery then back to the road. It looks like Mystery is planning something based on how his fur is glowing red. He’d seen a similar red glow on the night of Lewis’s disappearance and during the confrontation outside his Uncle’s workshop. How much did Mystery know about Lewis? The question sticks in his mind, painfully heavy.
“Lewis? You mean the purple fire ghost? The one that caused the van crash?” Vivi steps up next to him, eyes locked onto the truck which grows quickly larger, “How are we going to stop it from running us all over?”
It’s too late to try a drive or run away now. Even if he decides to run there is a steep rocky slope on one side and a sharp climb on the other. If he did make it down by some miracle there was just flat desert and no cover for miles. Arthur doesn’t voice this observation instead commenting in a voice several octaves higher than normal, “I don’t think you need to worry about the ghost running you over. I’m pretty sure he’s only after me. So…ah…maybe don’t stand near me?”
Why? Why was Lewis trying to hurt him? In his mind’s eye, Lewis and Mystery meld together into a nightmare inferno of fire, teeth and death.
“I don’t want you to get run over either.” Vivi’s voice sounds faint, coming to him like it has travelled a great distance. Too much fear packed into too short a timeframe is making it harder and harder to concentrate. The ice at her feet thickens into long sheets, which creep out over the road, freezing it solid. He is probably lucky his remaining arm hasn’t frozen off with how tight Vivi had been holding it. Maybe if he turns into a giant Arthur icicle and he can sit this whole thing out. The hysterical thought momentarily breaks through his mounting panic.  
/Wait./
Arthur can almost hear the crackle of fire and the hum of the truck's engine.
/ You should not be drawing on so much of this power at once! You’ll damage the seal further!/
“I’m not letting Arthur die again. Anything comes near us and I’ll make whoever it is, regret it… that includes you.”
Vivi steps out so she is positioned in the centre of the road.
/I can handle this confrontation. There are still many aspects to the situation that you remain unaware of./
“And how am I supposed to fix that if you won’t tell me anything.”
/ I swear I will explain when there is more time. I only ever wanted to protect you./
“I don’t believe you.”
Vivi snaps the final sentence and punctuates it with a sharp hand gesture aimed at the oncoming truck. Several lines of ice stretch out and down the road, racing away from Vivi to meet the oncoming vehicle. Shining an ethereal blue, the frost coats the road’s surface, smoothing it over. Arthur catches the briefest glimpse of skeletal Lewis before the truck hits the ice sheets and the wheels suddenly lose traction.  The sound of metal crunching is deafening, accompanied by the hiss of water abruptly vaporising. Heat and cold collide in a cacophony cracking ice and explosion of steam.
A flash of bright purple fire. Mystery disappears, obscured by the thick columns of steam. He finds himself being yanked to the side by Vivi just in time to watch the purple truck careen past in a shower of sparks and groaning metal. At such high speeds, it rams straight into and through the guardrails separating the road from the rocky slope. Stunned, Arthur watches it disappear over the edge. If Lewis hadn’t already been dead then Arthur might have been worried. The sound of banging and crashing, as the truck presumably roles several times, has him physically wincing. Scratch that, he was worried. Very worried. Worried enough that it overtakes his mental panic and replaces it with deep concern. How durable were ghosts? He doesn’t know and that scares him. 
“Vivi! What the hell,” He finally manages to spit out, breaking his panic-induced stupor. He tries to rush past her, intent on checking for any signs of Lewis. He promptly slips. The combination of ice and his lack of a second arm throws off his balance and he ends up falling backward. He is saved from a collision with the ground by Vivi who seemed to now have supernatural levels of balance and was unaffected by the slippery surface.
“I …wow. That was… something.” Vivi breaths, examining the road still covered in planes of ice as if not quite believing it.
“Help me to the edge,” He interrupts, trying and failing to stand straight collapsing back on her, “I need to see if he’s okay,”
“Who’s okay? The ghost?"
“Yes.”
"You want to see if the ghost is okay? You said it was trying to hurt you?”
Arthur can practically see the concern and confusion now hanging over Vivi as she looks down from where she's holding him up by his one good arm.
“It’s just…a misunderstanding or something. I…we…might know this ghost.”
“What?”
“Just help me check.” He motions with his remaining arm. Visible through the plums of steam are thicker lines of darkened smoke coming from the space where the truck had disappeared.
....
Note: I’m Sorry to everyone who’s showed interest in this AU but i’m not sure if i’ll continue this since i’ve lost motivation.  Here are some of the more coherent plot notes if people are interested in this AU. Feel free to ask questions if u have any :) . 
...
-   Shiromori shows up directly after Lewis’s crash, distracting Mystery. With all the steam obscuring their vision Arthur and Vivi don’t realise that Shiromori has arrived immediately, and there is enough time to briefly look for Lewis. 
- Lewis makes it out of the truck crash only slightly worse for wear and tries to attack Arthur. Vivi moves to defend Arthur, then Arthur has to defend Lewis and it’s all very awkward for everyone. 
- Lewis sees how scared Arthur is a reconsiders his revenge plot, hesitating long enough to get some dialogue in. 
 - Arthur finally gives Vivi a brief Lewis overview (sans the whole ‘he almost threw me off a fake cliff thing’). Vivi is suspicious and somewhat unconvinced. Lewis is slightly confused when Vivi starts referring to the alternate time line. 
- Not time for further discussion because Mystery is fighting Shiromori and, since he had warning this time, he’s winning. 
(fight scene stuff. Vivi rushes in to do something idk this part is not planned.) 
Vivi overused ice abilities. 
Lewis and Arthur have a moment alone. 
Vivi, slightly untrusting of Mystery, ends up stepping to stop the two from fighting. (Vivi ends up saving  Shiromori maybe??? a parallel  to the original timeline). A dramatic moment where Vivi rushes in ( maybe takes a blow for Shiromori idk would depend on Shiromori’s backstory) and ends up injured. 
- ??? makes an appearance, takes over Vivi instead of Mystery. 
Some background world building stuff
- Vivi’s ice powers might become unsealed and she is vulnerable to ??? (spiritual energy is damaging to humans if too much is used at once or if is not used correctly)
- Yukino family are spiritual channels making them both more powerful and more vulnerable. Mystery holds a seal to the ability and it eats up a tails worth of power to maintain. Same deal with Shiromori, Mystery holds a seal to keep her fully realised abilities in check which also eats up a lot of power.
- The seal is damaged when Mystery is hurt
- Arthur is unaffected by the ice because he’s got some odd time based supernatural power which has bonded to vivi spiritual signtaure as well. This is the reason ??? want to possess Arthur. One possible resolution was for Arthur to figure out how to rewind time to the seconds before Vivi gets possessed, giving her a chance to defeat ???. It takes a lot of power which Lewis ends up giving to him. 
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twinklecheeks · 4 years
Text
Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 11
Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.
Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  
Side note: Sorry it took me over a week to post this! I just started my last semester of college and I also have a part time job, so I’ve been super tired. I’ll try to be more consistent.
Warnings! Pregnancy, Smut 
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,
Word Count: 2k
Christmas Eve 12/24/2019
Y/n: *Wakes up and stares at Jeff peacefully sleeping*
Jeff: *moans*
Y/n: *looks down and notices Jeff has a boner* Hmmm *gently rubs the swollen tip of Jeff’s cock*
Jeff: *thrusts into y/n’s hand*
Y/n: *Smirks and quietly gets out of bed to lock the door* *Pulls Jeff’s boxer’s down and sees his cock slap against his abs* *Softly licks the base of his Jeff’s cock all the way to the tip and sucks the head*
Jeff: *moans* mmm fuck.
Y/n: *You use the entirety of your palms and fingers with just how big and long he is. You hum greedily as you do this*
Jeff: *wakes up and smirks* I guess it’s a very Merry Christmas to me.
Y/n: I can suck on your cock all day daddy *winks*
Jeff: *groaning at how fast you’re going* F-fuck baby the way you’re moaning. You’re gonna kill me *bucks his hips*
Y/n: Shhh, I don't want them to know I’m sucking your cock ;) *continues to deepthroat feeling him twitch*
Jeff: Oh my fucking god baby yesss. Fuck me, fuck me, over and over. I swear I’d be fucking you every nigh- JESUS FUCK *cums inside her mouth*
Y/n: *swallows and sucks his cock clean* That was a great way to start Christmas.
Jeff: *laughs* Me cumming in you?
Y/n: *smirks* Mhmmm, I love it when you’re in me ;)
Jeff: What time is it?
Y/n: It’s 7:42am. I think your mom is already up cooking.
Jeff: Well if you want to see the Christmas parade at 11 w/ Jonah’s family, round 2 in the shower has to be a quickie.
Y/n: *looks down at his cock* You’re still hard? You just came a bunch in my mouth.
Jeff: I’m always hard for you babe *winks*
*After the Christmas Parade*
Suzie: I loved the parade! New York is so pretty during Christmas.
Vardon: Christmas is also more fun w/ snow.
Jonah: Guys it was fucking freezing outside.
Y/n: It was only 38 degrees.
Jeff’s mom: Oh good you guys are back. Marie (Jonah’s mom) and I are almost done with the food.
Jeff: Ma you’ve been cooking since like 6am. Have you had a break?
Jeff’s mom: We also did some last minute shopping/ gift wrapping. Everybody gets to open one present today and the rest tomorrow.
Y/n: You guys open presents tomorrow?
Jeff’s dad: Yeah, doesn’t everybody?
Y/n: Well in the Hispanic/ Latinx community, we call today Hispanic Christmas. So we open our presents today and then we spend the 25th stuffing our faces in left overs. We open on the 24th cause we’re too impatient and yes, we know Jesus was born on the 25th.
Jeff: Maybe we can do that w/ the girls next year.
Jeff’s mom: *tears up* Oh god you’re going to have daughter’s next year.
Jeff: Maaaa don’t cry again.
Y/n: Oh we are definitely doing hispanic christmas. If my sister comes over, she’d want to open the presents like a week before. She’s the most impatient. One year, she opened presents at like 3-4pm.
Jeff’s mom: I’m such a cry baby. Now help me set up the table!
*everybody helps set the plates and food*
Jeff’s dad: does anybody want to start the prayer?
Jeff: I’ll do it.
Karyn: Really? The last time you did it was Easter 2005 and you couldn’t stop laughing.
Jeff’s mom: Karyn.
*everybody holds hands*
Jeff: oh Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you’ve brought us. I know that Christmas is about you but I’d like to say thanks. Thank you for keeping everybody here in good health because I don’t know where I’d be w/ out them. I’m grateful for the supportive family and friends you have given me and most importantly, y/n. I know we were very rocky until recently but you brought her into my life for a reason. She was changing me into a better person and I was too stubborn to accept it. Now she’s going to be the mother of my 2 amazing daughters. Those babies already have me wrapped around their fingers and they’re not even here yet. I can’t wait for the day y/n and I get married and have however many babies you give us but don’t make it twins each time cause that’s gonna make my hair gray fast
Jeff’s mom: Jeffrey-
Jeff: okay I’m just kidding… kind of but you know what I mean. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and the rest of my family. Amen.
Everybody: Amen
Jeff’s dad: Hun are you crying?
Y/n: *sniffles her nose* NO. Maybe…. I wouldn't have thought Jeff was religious.
Karyn: Only during Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.
Jeff’s Dad: Karyn stop teasing your brother. Now that the prayer is over with, let’s eat!
Jeff’s mom: Marie and I spent all morning cooking. Also, since this is y/n’s first Christmas w/ us, I wanted to bring some of the food she eats during the holidays.
Y/n: What food?
Jeff’s mom: *shows the Pernil* (pernil is pork shoulder)
Y/n: NO YOU DIDN’T *tastes the food* AND IT TASTES JUST LIKE OUT MY DAD MAKES IT. How did you make it?!
Jeff: She asked me a couple of days ago what you eat during the holidays and I found your sister on instagram. I got the recipe from her.
Jeff’s mom: I saw that it was a Puerto Rican dish so I asked one of my friends who knows how to make it to show me the steps.
Y/n: Oooo imma try not to cry again but THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Jonah: Can we eat now
After Dinner
Y/n: I ate so much, I think I’m having triplets. But thank you once again. I was pretty nervous to come here because I didn’t know how y’all would react to me.
Karyn: Just know that when we get mad, it’s at Jeff cause he’s always the one that somehow messes up.
Jeff: What time is it?
Suzie: It’s 7pm. Should we watch Christmas movies and then open presents before bed?
Vardon: Let’s watch the Grinch
Jonah: *ignores Vardon* Any other suggestions? Please. ANY OTHER.
Karyn: Y/n what do you watch for Christmas.
Y/n: Well, my personal favorite is Jingle all the Way but the Christmas Line up in my family is usually Home Alone 2, A Diva’s Christmas Carol, A Very Brady Christmas, the I Love Lucy Christmas episode and other’s I can’t remember.
Jeff: I mean, we are in New York. Home Alone 2?
Everybody: Sure.
*After watching Christmas movies*
Jeff’s mom: It’s 9:45pm. I think we should be opening our one present before we go to bed.
Jeff: Youngest to oldest! So my niece goes first, then Vardon, Y/n, Suzie, Jonah, etc.
*Jeff’s nieces and Vardon opens their gifts*
Vardon: No way. Jeff got me airpods! Thank you *Hugs Jeff*
Jeff: You’re welcome. Now time for y/n to open her gift from me.
Y/n: Oooo okay. *opens gift and sees two little gold bracelets* what are these for?
Jeff: I always see babies w/ the small little charm bracelet. You mentioned your sister and you never got that from your parents but your older brother did. I wanted to do that for our girls even though they're not here yet. So once we pick out the names, we’ll get the charms.
Y/n: *sniffles* Dammit why do you keep making me cry.
Jeff: Cause I don’t want you to ever forget how much I love you.
Jonah: Can we move on from this sappy shit so I can open my gift.
Everybody: JONAH.
*After everybody opens their presents*
Y/n: Thank you so much for accepting me on such short notice.
Jeff’s mom: Hun we’re family now. You’ll always be a part of us. Same for the Antonyans. We know how much Jeff misses having us around since he’s been living in LA and y’all have been a family to him.
Jonah’s mom: I love Jeff like he my own son. He help us so much.
Jeff’s Dad: Y’all just have to make sure to visit us often. Get’s kind of lonely here w/ Karyn living in Kentucky, Jeff living in LA. I mean Steven lives in the city w/ his kids but we miss having all of you together here.
Jeff: I’m starting to think that having girls runs in the family. Karyn has a daughter, Steven has twin girls and now I’m gonna have twin girls.
Jeff’s mom: I mean you never know if the nurse made a mistake. They thought your brother was a girl for half my pregnancy. Then they did the last ultrasound a week before I gave birth to him and they said he was a boy.
Y/n: Oh god I don’t even want to think about that. I’m already stressed out about the babies possibly being deaf now I gotta be worried if the nurse misgendered them….
Karyn: The babies are gonna be deaf?
Y/n: Hmm?
Jeff’s dad: You just said there’s a possibility the twins will be born deaf.
Y/n: Fuck. I did say that, didn't I… Jeff, you wanna help me out here?
Jeff: Ummm. Damn we weren’t planning on telling anybody this for a couple of weeks. We got a call a couple of days ago after we did some genetic testing and the doctor said the babies have a high chance of being born hard of hearing/ deaf.
Karyn: My doctors told me the same thing. Luckily my daughter turned out fine
Steven: I wasn’t a carrier for the gene…
Jeff’s mom: We’ll love those babies no matter what. If we have to learn sign language for them, then we’d do it. I’ll fly out to LA once it gets close to the due date to help out.
Jeff: Thanks ma. Means a lot.
Y/n: Thank you so much. I don’t know if my own parents would forgive me by then to be there for the birth.
Jeff’s mom: Anytime sweetheart. My god look at the time, It’s 10:15, we have to go to bed before Santa comes.
Jonah: Haha, but santa isn-
Jeff: Jonah you better better not finish that sentence cause my nieces are here and I don’t wanna see the magic ruined for them.
Jonah: What I was saying was, isn't Santa a little late?… He should’ve been here by now…
Going to bed
Y/n: I am so stuffed. Christmas turned out a lot better than I thought.
Jeff: See, you had nothing to be afraid about. Also, good job on keeping the deaf thing a secret haha.
Y/n: Hey! It’s been on my mind since we found out. WAIT. Jonah and Suzie.
Jeff: What about them?
Y/n: they were there…. What if they tell everybody else.
Jeff: Suzie would never… Jonah on the other hand… I have little faith in him.
Y/n: I’m afraid to check my phone.
Jeff: Same. I haven't looked at it all day. On the count of 3…
Y/n: One….
Jeff: Two.
Y/n & Jeff: Three. *looks at phones*
Y/n’s phone: 82 text messages & 24 missed calls
Jeff’s phone: 77 text messages & 21 missed calls
Vlog Squad GC
David: Was what Jonah said true?
Natalie: Is it serious?
Jason: Y’all I’m so sorry
Zane: There has to be a way to fix it. My babies will be okay right?
Erin: I’ll postpone my wedding until the babies are okay
Carly: Oh no Carly and Erin jr :(
Corinna: The babies are gonna be deaf?
Mariah: Is it confirmed?
Heath: Have y’all seen other doctors?
Matt: Guys they’re busy. I don’t think we should be spamming them on Christmas.
Toddy: We’ll stop one they answer us!
David: I’ll put in whatever money you need for surgeries or anything.
Jason: Guys stop. They’ll tell us everything once they’re ready.
(end of conversation)
Jeff: I’m gonna kill Jonah.
Y/n: Oh hun, so will I…
The next chapter might take a bit because I’m still thinking what will be in it. You guys can give be suggestions and I can give you credit for it!
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