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adviceformefromme · 9 months

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YOUR RE-SET PART 2

Part one is here for reference.

Once you start removing all the shit from your life, they’ll be an empty space. You might not like this, but it really is an opportunity to start planting the seeds of your dreams, creating your dream life. Part 1 was clearing your garden, preparing the soil. Part 2, is actually planting the seeds. You've removed the weeds in your life, you’ve distanced yourself from the friends who bitch and moan, you also decided to create some space from the toxic relatives that remind you of the shame, and traumas from childhood. You started a little meditation and journalling practise, eating a little better, thinking kinder thoughts… but this is where you really start creating a magical life. This is your moment, no distractions, you are truly re-rewriting the script of your life.

See it as a cross roads. Do you choose to go back to what you know, or do you spend the next four months of this year taking serious actions to become who you were destined to be?

So how do you bring the vision boards to life? How do you truly re-set so that you finally shed the old skin of your past and become who you were designed to be?

1 - You need a vision. This needs to inspire and motivate you, so trade in one of your Netflix shows, or social media binges to create your vision. Screenshot images from Pinterest or wherever, add them into a keynote on your laptop, or use Canva, however you make your vision board let it be your absolute wildest dreams. If it's living in one of those houses from Architect Digest magazine in the middle of Norway, go find those images. If its being a badass CEO who makes eight figures, find an image that represents that. Add activities what your day is like, fashion inspo, locations, events, whatever you want your life to look like go create the vision. And make sure it inspires you. You want to feel that little fire in your belly when you look at it, if it’s not giving that energy, keep working on it till it does. Its really important you remind your self of this vision with affirmations as you look at it, ‘I am’, ‘I feel’, ‘I love’ use these power statements as you speak life as you go through each image e.g ‘I am living in my beautiful home on the coast of Spain, it feels so peaceful to wake up to the sunrise and hear the crashing waves as I look out from my balcony, I am so in love with my home, its represents who I truly am, I love my coffee table books (list them out).' Go on a rampage as you speak life into your vision board (do this as a consistent practise daily or weekly).

2 - Part of your re-set is looking the part. You will have a vision completely unique to you of what the dream version for you looks like, smells like, walks like, dresses like. Your goal is to get crystal clear on this and BRING HER TO LIFE. This will be done in steps, but literally start figuring out what you need to do in order to look the part. This might involve a different hair style. If you always dreamed of long hair but your hair is textured - go get a weave or hair extensions, if you are obsessed with those lamination brows and lashes, go figure out how you can look and feel as your dream girl. Stop using money as an excuse, if your hair is too expensive, find someone more affordable, or do it at home. If you can’t afford designers but see yourself living that life go buy a replica and FEEL the part until you can get there. This is about you looking and feeling like your best self, and it might seem unimportant but how you look affects how you feel and that physical glow up adds LEVELS of confidence to a woman. So start moving away from what you know, have known and step into your truth. Let go of the shame from family, friends. Stop living in their shadows, hiding from their opinions and judgements. This is your moment.

3 - Create a routine of greatness. What does your day need to involve for you to show up as your best self? As you reflect you’ll see there are things that work and things that absolutely don’t work in your life and now is your moment is to start adjusting. This is for food, exercise, keeping your home clean, keeping organised. This is also about knowing yourself. For example, if you usually walk your dog in the morning but by the time you come home, you don’t have enough time to do your hair and make-up or eat a healthy breakfast - SHUFFLE your morning. This is about making life work for you. Not you working for life, working to survive, rushing everywhere. No, this is about your life, working to suit you best. So take inventory of what is not working and what is and start adapting. Another example. If you want to whiten your teeth and those strips are not working out for you because they feel horrible and you always forget. Go get a whitening powder you can brush on your teeth after you clean them, plus you brush your teeth everyday, so adding an extra step of brushing with the whitening powder at the sink is a much more effective routine that works for you. Do you get the message? Start re-adjusting your routine so there is more flow, and structure aligned with how you want to live.

4 - You need to fucking exercise. It doesn’t matter how you do it. Just make sure you do it. And exercise that is actually consistent and motivates you. This is your confidence booster, your discipline trainer, your toned body enabler, your energy replenisher, your anti-depressants, your anti-anxiety medication, your meditation, your self love. It’s all that and so much more. If you’re new to exercise start small, and progress. Keep those little promises to yourself and if your annoying friends want to see you, only meet them if they join you on a class which allows you to kill two birds with one stone.

5 - Your passions. Remember those things. The things as a a child that used to bring you joy. Now you have all this free time since you stopped scrolling you can actually remember life before 4 hour binges on tiktok and Netflix. Go grab your skates, your paint brushes, your boombox, your knitting kit, your colouring pencils, your baking materials, your swimming goggles, your library card - whatever the fuck is your passion. GO POUR INTO THAT. Just once a week, even for an hour if that’s all you can manage, but focus on that. This is how you attract more of that positive energy into your life, you connect with your inner child, you soothe her and make her feel so wholesome.

6 - KEEP REFLECTING, as you continue on this journey to becoming your best self, things will work, you’ll trip up a few times, you’ll learn so much about yourself but it's SO important to keep moving forward. For example if you realised you don’t like your social circle, but noticed you keep judging your friends - you are still swirling in low vibration, because that judgmental inner voice is still keeping you in the gutter. Your daily meditation practise, and reflecting would reveal this to you, and without noticing you are still staying stuck. The purpose of this whole re-set is to elevate yourself, your life and start living your dreams. So daily, weekly, as often as you can. Reflect. This worked, this didn’t, this is what I can do better next time, become your own fucking guru. Know thy self. Keep moving forward. Keep checking yourself.

...And remember know one gives a fuck about this journey you’re on, no one is rooting for you, no one cares if you literally remain the same person you’ve always been. This is truly on you. This is your opportunity to take major leap. To quit being the person who feels like she deserves a better life, who wants more. Now you get to actually BE more, live more. This is a transition. You’re moving out of the old shadows and into the light. This is your moment for change, so embrace it. Live it and keep pushing forward.

#manifesting #lawofattraction #levelup #levelup confidence lawofattraction powerofthemind #growthmindset #levelupjourney #manifestyourreality #hypergamy #manifest #manifestingmindset

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darkmacademia · 1 year

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even more things that help me survive being alive part 3! (pt. 1/2)

eat directly out of the cooking pot or after putting food directly into tupperware after cooking so you don't have to wash more dishes. and if you have leftovers you can just put the tupperware in the fridge

putting several plastic bags at the bottom of your trash can/waste bin so you can just take out a new one when the trash gets full. this helps me a lot in my bedroom and bathroom where the plastic bag hoard™ is too far away

keeping one of those transparent cold drink takeaway cups from a cafe and using that to drink my homemade coffee out of, just to make it feel like I've been somewhere

having a daily calendar that allows me to visually block out time for different tasks as my time-estimation is awful, and I think showering will take two hours

keeping a magnetic whiteboard on my fridge door that I write new grocery food items on so I know what I have to eat. no more rotting food bc you forgot it existed

a stock of passable quality readymade frozen meals, or frozen dumplings etc for when you want to eat but there are too many steps for even basic cooking

a personal one that I just kinda like - having a daily diary but not for complete sentences or fancy writing just very drily outlining what I did during the day. this creates smash hits such as "went to the store today. cried. watched encanto. cried again"

having a list of everything I could feasibly do on a day/hour off. includes all my hobbies, exercises or outdoor activities, language learning, friends (yes a list of your friends to remind u they exist), stuff I haven't had time for, to-read/to-watch lists. otherwise I forget what's out there!

#adhd #adhd tips #mental health #self care #life tips #t #darkmacademia #wow this one has been sitting in my drafts since like two years ago #sorry guys it turns out the brain problems these tips were meant to help made posting this impossible

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misscrazyfangirl321 · 5 months

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Okay, here it is.

There's an idea I hear a lot in Christian circles, and while there are different catchy phrases for it, the basic idea boils down to this: You shouldn't make time for God; you should center your time around God.

It's a nice idea. A nice concept. But I find that it doesn't actually help me in a practical way. It makes me feel anxious and guilty about setting a certain amount of time aside for prayer or Bible reading. When things are important enough to me, I do make time for them.

For several years now, my resolutions have involved reading more and cleaning more. But this year, I've actually set specific time goals, both daily and for the year, and guess what? I'm actually reading and cleaning regularly.

I've seen many people treat the concept of "Making time for God" like you're sitting there with a full planner, squinting and going "Maybe I can pencil in prayer on Tuesday between class and soccer." Which obviously isn't ideal.

But you know what it is? A start. If the alternative is not praying, making a goal of praying on the 15 minute drive between class and soccer is a start. If the alternative is not reading your Bible, making a goal of reading a chapter-or even a verse-each day is a start. Adding "quiet time" to your to-do list isn't minimizing God to another box to check; it's prioritizing Him.

And the other thing with that is, the more I've been making a point of making time for reading and cleaning, the more I've wanted to do it. Recently I read a book in two days, spending well over the 20 minutes a day I made time for. But if I'd made a goal of reading a book in 2 days, I would have inevitably gotten overwhelmed and given up.

Christianity is a religion built on a relationship, and like with any relationship, we have to make time for that relationship and invest in it for it to grow. And we don't get there by beating ourselves up for not doing more.

"If you balk at praying an hour a day, check yourself! God deserves more than 15 minutes on your planner."

He absolutely does. And you're not going to be able to give that to Him by guilting yourself for not doing more. If 15 minutes is what you have to give right now, give 15 minutes. See what He does with it.

I'm not saying to settle, or be lukewarm. I'm just saying, don't be afraid to take small, practical steps to grow that relationship with God. The person you know who's literally always praying, who reads the Bible for hours a day? Maybe they started out their faith that way; good for them.

But for most of us, it's a process that takes a lifetime to complete. So make time for God, and don't be afraid to take small steps.

#i speak #Christianity #lots of thoughts here #i hope this is coherent

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acepalindrome · 2 months

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SDV QoL Mod Recommendations

(1.6 Edition!)

Some years ago I made a big list of some of my favorite Stardew Valley mods, because I am a mod gremlin and there are so many fun and cool things you can do with your game! Modding has changed a lot since then. Some of the old mods have been abandoned and aren’t compatible with 1.6, and lots of new ones are popping up all the time to help keep this 8 year old game fresh and interesting! So I’ve put together a list of mods that currently work with 1.6. Since there are so, SO many mods, I’m just going to list quality of life mods for now. Let me know if you guys are interested in recommendations for expansions, cosmetics and other fun stuff!

Firstly, if you’re new to Stardew modding and don’t know how to start, I highly recommend checking out Salmence’s How to Add Mods video on YouTube. He walks you through all the steps and makes it very easy to get the hang of it! And without further ado:

The Mods

UI Info Suite 2: I’m new to this mod, but now that I’ve got it, I’m not sure how I lived without it! It does so much! It shows your daily luck, any birthdays, if it’s going to rain tomorrow, when tools are ready with Clint, when the traveling cart is in town and more! It also shows the range of your sprinklers, scarecrows, bee houses and junimo huts, and if you mouse over your crops, it shows when they’re ready for harvest! Super useful, and the daily icons are small enough that they don’t feel intrusive. I usually get all my mods from Nexus because it’s easy and reliable, so I had put off trying this one since it’s only on GitHub. I absolutely should have tried it ages ago.

NPC Map Locations: Shows where everyone is on the map. No more running around trying to figure out where someone is to give them a birthday gift! This is an essential mod for me, it’s such a simple but good improvement!

Look Up Anything: This one basically eliminates the need to have the wiki open in another window. Virtually everything in the game can be clicked on to give you more information. Mouse over Shane and press a button to see his birthday, how many hearts he has and how many points to the next heart, and all loved and liked items (with items you have on hand highlighted!) Select the hardwood in your inventory to see how many you have total (including storage you don’t have on hand,) everything it can be used for and how many you need for each thing, so you know how many you need! Almost everything can be selected to give more information!

Visible Fish: Useful AND pretty! It shows all the fish currently available to catch swimming in the water, so you don’t spend ages trying to catch something that doesn’t spawn at a certain place or time! Also it just looks really nice. I love seeing the fish in the river when I’m just passing by!

FriendsForever: Eliminates friendship decay, so people don’t hate me if I forget to talk to them for half a year! Also works on animals, so I can ignore my pigs all winter and they still love me.

To-Dew: You can make a to-do list that will appear on the screen and can be marked off as you complete different tasks. No more will I take a trip to town for seeds and forget that I also wanted to donate to the museum and give Caroline a daffodil! You can also set items to be reoccurring on certain days of the week, if you want to remind yourself to look for forage on Saturday, or make Thursday your designated day to empty and refill your kegs. Very customizable! I also like to make lists of all the seeds I want to buy every season.

TreeTransplant: Robin can now move trees around your farm just like she moves buildings! I’m really bad at planning my tree placement, and it’s so frustrating to have to cut down full grown trees to change my farm layout. Now you can move trees anywhere!

Fishing Made Easy Suite/Combat Made Easy Suite: I love these mods over others that make fishing/combat easier because you can decide the exact degree you want to make things easier! You can make fishing anywhere from 5% easier to 99% easier, if you want to just take the edge off the difficulty, or make it impossible to fail a fish. You can take just a little less damage from monsters to make the Skull Cavern less daunting, or become unkillable and oneshot everything. They also have options to do fun things like put legendary fishing in fish ponds or craft magic rock candy. You can also make things harder, if that’s what you want!

Automate: Machines can pull items from chests, process them, spit them back out into the chest and pull in the next item automatically, without you having to do anything! It can be a little op early on, but it’s super handy when you have a million machines to keep track of. I especially like it for things that have shorter processing times. I can stick a chest of ore and coal next to some furnaces and let it do its thing! Or put a bait machine, recycle machine, crab pot and chest all together. The crab pots will empty and refill every day from the bait generated by the bait machine, deposit fish and trash into the chest, and any trash will be processed by the recycling machine! There are tons of fun ways to combine different machines!

TimeSpeed: Lets you stop, slow or speed up time! You can select time to freeze at certain locations (I like time to stop when I’m inside a building, like in old farming games,) set time to move slower or faster in general, or press a button to change it on the fly!

That’s all I have for now! Links will be coming in a reblog because tumblr is weird about posting links sometimes. Let me know if you’d like recommendations for other kinds of mods, like cosmetic mods, expansions, stuff that adds items or changes dialogue! I love to share the cool mods I find!

#stardew valley #sdv #long post

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thought--bubble · 6 months

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In Need Of an Heir Part 2

Aemond X (Baratheon! Reader)

Warnings Below

Word Count: 1,486

In Need Of an Heir Master list

Canon Era Aemond Master list

Full Master list

Banners by @arcielee

Warnings:: mentions of death, forced marriage, talk of child bearing.

Aemond stands in the council room, silently listening to the council debate tax policy. Since the war, the coffers have not been as stocked as they had been. repairs needed to be done, and the common folk were suffering. Yet the only thing Aemond could think about was you. The little baratheon girl should be making her way here now.

The council concludes, and Aemond exits the room immediately heading to his chambers. He wishes for some peace and quiet. The war may be over, but he is still haunted by the things that happened, the things he did, and the things he'd lost. He still blames himself for the deaths of his nephews. For the death of his sweet sister Heleana. The death of his paramour and unborn child. The weight of it drowns him daily, yet he refuses to show it on the outside. He is the heir to the iron throne. He can show no weakness.

As he rounds the corner, mere steps from his bedchamber, he hears his mother's voice ring out down the corridor.

"Aemond!" She yells with a sound of relief.

He stops walking. Clenching his jaw and closing his eye briefly before turning around to face her.

"Mother" it comes out sharper than he had meant it. His mother only has him, and Aegon left after the war. Aegon is basically an invalid. This means that Aemond is really all she has left. He tries to be mindful of this. Treat his mother with gentleness.

"Your betrothed has arrived," she says gently.

For the last few weeks, whenever your arrival has been brought up, it instantly put Aemond in a bad mood. A marriage to a girl he doesn't want is not something he feels like dealing with at present, yet he knows it is his duty, and ever the dutiful son, he will see it completed.

"And?" He says coldly

"I just wanted to let you know her and lord royce baratheon have arrived and will be at dinner. Please make sure you join us. It would be improper if you did not" Alicent says arms crossed.

Aemond releases a sigh. "Of course I will be there." With that, he continues to his chambers.

Aemond makes it back to his chamber and slams the door behind him. He can finally let out a sigh of relief. He knows he doesn't have long before he has to be at that blasted dinner, but he will take the time that he does have. He sits in the chair by his fireplace and closes his eye.

"Breathe in, breathe out," he says to himself, repeating the phrase in his head, trying to ease the tension that has been almost ever present since the day he killed Lucerys. The day he started the war.

He can't sit by the fire with his eyes closed too long because then he smells it. The burning embers. Then, he can hear the voices screaming in his head. The voices of frightened common folk running for their lives in the Riverlands. He grits his teeth.

"Breathe in, breath out. Don't let your mind wander"

All too soon, it is time for Aemond to make his way to the dining hall. He wants to be the first to arrive he would rather he watch everyone enter than everyone watch him enter.

When he arrives, only jaehaera is there with her nursemaid. He finds it difficult to look at little jaheara these days she reminds him so much of her mother.

He nods at the nursemaid and jaehaera and stands by his seat.

Next, the guards announce the arrival of Alicent. She enters the room and immediately goes to Jaehaera, hugging her tightly and kissing her on her nose.

Then she walks over to Aemond.

"Are you ready for this?" She asks. Concern lacing her face.

"It's just a dinner, mother." He says cooly.

"I know. You've just been a bit.... unhappy with this arrangement. I don't want you to take it out on the girl is all"

"Do you take me for some brute?" He gives her a pointed look

"No, of course not, I just worry." her eyes dart around the room.

"The girl will be fine," he says, face stoic as the guards announce the arrival of the Baratheon siblings.

Royce and you enter heads held high. Aemond stands by his seat his face cold and stern. Alicent has her hands clasped in front of her, a gentle look on her face.

"Your grace" Royce does a deep nod toward Aemond and then the same to the dowager queen.

Your nerves are completely shot as you are once again face to face with Prince Aemond the one-eyed kinslayer.

"Your grace" your voice is small. Like that of a child as you curtsey. Turning then to Alicent and doing another curtsey.

Aemond says nothing but nods in your direction.

"Come sit," Alicent gestures toward two seats toward the end of the table. Your seat is the one to the side of Prince Aemond.

You take a deep breath, hands shaking. Just before you take your seats, the guards announce the arrival of King Aegon second of his name. With this, you remain standing but slightly bowed. He's so broken that he has to be carried into the room.

The site makes Aemonds' stomach curl. Reminiscent of their father, the decrepit man Aegon has become, is just a shadow of his former self.

When Aegon is placed next to Alicent, everyone sits.

"A prayer then" Alicent says softly as she starts a prayer.

You clasp your hands in front of you and close your eyes. You're squeezing your hands so tight. You're sure your fingernails are going to leave a mark.

Aemond clasps his hands as well but doesn't close his eye. Instead, his eye stays trained on you. He is starting to remember just why he picked you. Small, delicate, very pretty, pious. All of the things he should want in a wife. He looks to your hands and can see how tight you are grasping. She's scared of me,he thinks to himself. Of course she is. Why wouldn't she be. Aemond the one-eyed kinslayer. Who burned the Riverlands and murdered his nephew. He feels a twinge of guilt. His choice placed her here. He chose her, and now she is stuck forced to marry a man that clearly terrifies her.

Alicent wraps up her prayer and the table falls silent.

"The wedding will take place in a week" King Aegon announces.

Your entire body tenses.

"That's rather quick no?" Royce questions.

"Their firstborn son will marry my daughter Jaehaera. She will already be a bit older than her husband, so it's imperative that they have a son as quickly as possible." King Aegon says like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

The table falls silent. Before Alicent speaks up. "That may not be enough time for the proper preparations.... certainly won't be enough time for guests who need to make the trip"

"The wedding will be small, I know, but we can hold a tourney in their honor later. I need my nephew born, and I need him born quick."

The nonchalant way the king speaks of you bearing a son makes your stomach churn. As if you are just some vessel from which his nephew the future king would be born. Not a living, breathing human being.

"It may take my father longer than that to get here" Royce states

"Then you will be the one to give your sisters hand" Aegon says clearly annoyed that he is getting any push back.

Royce picks up on Aegon's annoyance and chooses not to push any further. "Yes, your grace," he says gently and without any hint of what he is actually feeling.

Aegon looks to Aemond. "And you? Anything to add?"

Aemond's expression stays blank. "No." He states simply.

Aegon then looks to you. "And how about you my lady?"

You panic by trying not to let it show on your face. "No, your grace," you say while keeping your eyes trained toward the table.

"Then it is settled," Aegon says, satisfied.

The rest of the dinner passes with little chatter. Alicent talks briefly about having a dress made for you, and Aegon talks about the feast that will take place afterward. Even Royce takes part in the conversation, mentioning his hope that there may be some eligible ladies there.

You and Aemond, however, both remain silent. You keep your eyes downcast, looking at the table while he looks ahead as if he is listening to the conversation. Periodically, he brings his goblet to his mouth and sips his wine.

Just like that your life is planned out, you will be married in a week and most likely pregnant soon after. All of this is planned, and you barely said a word.

Part 3

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ash-says · 3 months

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One of the most unrealistic things I find on the so called level up blogs are the amount of things they list you should do in a day.

I mean for the love of God we all are humans and we only have 24 hrs a day. How the hell are we supposed to do all this especially the glow up things they list. Like how?????

For example : Working out for 2 hours, doing a gua sha, a full blown 10 step skin and hair routine, walking 10000 steps and whatnot blah blah.

Can I be a little realistic here? It's impossible in real time.

The real girl bosses truly don't have this much time on their hands to just spend on looking good.

Honestly all this will take up to around three to four hours easily off your day. With time you yourself will start getting bored of this.

Your routine should be simple and designed according to your body clock not around someone's idea of glow up.

Imagine the time you spend doing face masks, step by step routine on a DAILY BASIS. The real glow up is when you ace both internal and external. Do what your body needs.

Let's be real. Real life walking women have a job/internship, colleges to attend, courses to complete, social life to survive. Now tell me is it humanly possible to perform all these tasks with those elaborate routines.

Please, you don't need to do daily exfoliation, this elaborated skincare routines not just this if we talk about the mental glow up that is expected to be done along with all this. Where the fuck is the balance?

And what are you thinking while bullying your skin with so many products??? Are you fine?? Keep it simple. Rather than that focus on what you eat. Workout regularly with exercises that work for your body. Not what is trending. Read books that you find interesting and then couple it up with must reads and so on and so forth. This is the way you do it.

Otherwise you are only going to spiral down in self hatred and no you don't need to spend loads of money trying to buy those things you see in the moodboards. They are unrealistic.

These things are good and are great self love techniques but only to be done twice or thrice a month. Regularly?? I doubt you could keep up with it.

Make yourself busy but in things that would give results and are curated to your reality not to the moodboards you see on Pinterest.

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cillianmesoftlyyy · 7 months

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The Experiment Pt. 2 | Jonathan Crane x Reader

Summary| Jonathan Crane assigns his students a new experimental project: choose a phobia and research methods for coping with or completely overcoming those fears in test subjects. A student approaches Dr. Crane with an interesting project proposition... can he help her overcome her fear?

Warnings| Teacher x student relationship (both are consenting adults), Borderline sexual assault between a bf and gf, Erotophobia, Smutty stuff yk , Masturbation, P in V penetration, Teasing, Semi-public, Unprotected sex, Begging, Experiments. Extensive discussions of sex and intimacy.

"Oh My God"- Ida Maria 🎵

"Lazy Eye"- Silversun Pickups 🎶

"Romantic Lover" - Eyedress 🎵

Word count: 3386k

Minors do not interact!!

...................................................................................................................

He held office hours every day that he didn’t have a lecture. On Friday morning, Crane arrived early to his office and put on coffee which had become his daily routine. He had a book open on his desk and he licked his thumb to flip through the stiff textbook paper.

It was an old Freudian psychoanalysis on erotophobia and he grimaced in distaste as he read through it. “Disappointing,” he whispered to himself and slammed the book shut. He thought he knew what his student was afraid of, it was simple to hypothesize when he could see how her eyes changed, reacting to everything he said… suggested.

It wasn’t imagining sex or seeing sex or even touching herself, it was the expectation for sex that arose between two partners. It was something that she felt she had to do, that it wasn’t random or special, it was expected and something she felt responsible to do. That’s why she was scared of it.

When he had suggested self-pleasure, the fear in her eyes had dissipated slightly, encouraging the possibility of vulnerability and desire. The experiment that his student wanted to conduct needed to be done slowly, paying attention to how and when her body reacts to the suggestion and actually introduction of intimacy.

And like he expected, a fast knock on the door to his office signaled the arrival of Faye Greyson. He loosened his tie slightly and unbuttoned the two top buttons on his dress shirt, showing the neckline of his white cotton shirt beneath. Lastly, he took off his suit jacket and hung it disorderly on the back of his chair. He waited till she knocked again, more hesitant this time, before calling her in.

“Come in!” He allowed his voice to sound hurried and distracted as she opened the door slowly and stepped inside, holding a short stack of papers. They still smelled like wet ink and Crane shivered despite himself, loving the smell of ink.

“Ah, Miss Greyson. What can I do for you?” He cleared his throat dramatically and made a show of straightening his tie and slipping the buttons back into place.

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?” She stood still by the door, watching him as Crane pulled his suit jacket back on and straightened his collar.

“No, not at all. What’s this?” He gestured to the stack of papers and stayed standing on the other side of the desk. The girl, still glancing around, walked up to Crane’s desk and passed the papers over. The paper was warm and heavy in Crane’s hand as he clasped his fingers around the stack.

“My first results.” The girl answered and sat down in the seat opposite of his. She crossed her legs and sat up straight, trying to calm her shaky nerves. Her professor read the title page and laughed softly.

“The results from your masturbation experiments?” He clarified with a raised eyebrow and the girl nodded, blushing once again. She was wearing a brown corduroy dress and long socks with her black mary janes. She had picked the outfit intentionally, which piqued his interest. He returned his attention to the results, scanning his finger down the list of videos she had watched and comparing the results (did the video arouse her: why or why not). The results were all pitiful, that she felt turned on but not enough to touch herself or actually finish when she did.

“These results are not very inspiring, Miss Greyson. Do you have anything else?” He handed the papers back with a disappointed scowl.

“Well… yes.” The girl looked up at him timidly and forced herself to open her backpack and retrieve a manilla folder from one of the inside pockets. She hesitated before finally giving it up and allowed him to take it.

“These,” she started, “are the results from when the subject used her imagination.” She looked away and straightened the hem of her dress against her thigh.

Crane opened the folder and raised his eyebrow once again at the data provided. The girl had written down her fantasies and provided the results when she acted on them. They were overwhelmingly better than the set before. He closed the data with a sigh and slid the folder back to her on the desk. He sat down in his chair and leaned forward, staring down at his student on the other side. She squirmed.

“I want you to describe to me what your subject thought about.” He said finally. She started back, blinking slowly, and opened the manilla folder.

“You don’t need that Miss Greyson, do you?” He closed the folder again, their hands separated by the folder’s cover between them.

“Tell me.” He said again, a harsher edge in his voice.

“What were you doing in your office when I came in?” She asked instead.

“What did you think I was doing?” He stared back, unmoving. He was hoping that she’d ask.

“You were redressing yourself.”

“Yes.”

“Why?” She asked again.

“To see how’d you react, seeing someone caught in a state of… suggestive vulnerability.” He cocked his head. The girl didn’t respond, just anxiously wiped her palms across her thighs, blushing.

“Ok! Now it’s my turn to ask a question.” He breathed in sharply, making the girl jump in her seat. He looked her up and down, briefly licking his lips.

“Why are you wearing a dress?” He asked with a small smirk.

“What?” She straightened the hem again, tugging it down her thighs.

“I’ve only ever seen you in jeans and a turtleneck. This building is too cold for anything else, right? Not to mention it's 40 degrees outside.” He took off his glasses and cleaned them, exhaling on each panel of glass and wiping in slow, circular movements. “Mmmm and no tights, correct? Aren’t you cold?”

“No.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Right.” He hummed again and put his glasses back on, watching her in silence. She tried to stare back, urging herself to appear braver than she felt, less vulnerable than she was.

“Would you like me to tell you why you’re wearing a dress, Miss Greyson?” He clasped his hands together and rested them near the center of the desk, leaning forward.

“Why?” She whispered, her brows furrowed and crinkled like an old gum wrapper. He smiled slightly, lopsidedly.

“Because, Miss Greyson, after class yesterday you told yourself that we would have sex and to prepare yourself, you decided to wear a dress, an article of clothing that you assumed would provide easy access, no buttons, clasps, or skin tight material that made the process of undressing that much more awkward. You aren’t wearing tights for the same reason, they’re a hassle to take off even within the privacy of your own dorm room. You fear the actual act of sex so much that you need to prepare yourself for it like a test. It doesn’t seem like something that could be enjoyable when you put so much thought into it, does it?”

Crane watched as her cheeks grew pink in color, the hue spreading across the clefs of her face, charging the power of her pulse. Her lips quivered slightly and he stopped.

“Shall I go on?” He asked not unkindly but a hint of impatience evident in his tone. She nodded and looked away, quickly.

“You feel desire, you desire things. So, what scares you is the act itself, the vulnerability of it, the intimacy and closeness that it entails. You’ve only tried a few methods so far in your experiment to dilute the fear you feel towards sex. There are more things to try, more ways to help. That’s why we’re not having sex, Miss Greyson.” Crane observed and took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest.

“Now,” he started again when he had the girl’s attention, “tell me what the subject imagined when she touched herself.” His voice was low and gruff as he spoke. The girl looked up once again and held his gaze, fawning over his beautiful eyes that scared her as much as they aroused her.

“Do you remember?” He asked softly and smiled encouragingly (as much as could be expected from someone like Jonathan Crane) as she cleared her throat.

“Yes.” She whispered and wiped her eyes.

“Tell me.” He shifted in his seat and got comfortable as she brushed her hair behind her ear.

“She- I… imagined myself, alone, in the lecture hall wandering through the aisles of elevated desks. As I walked, I could hear a second set of footsteps echoing alongside mine. The lecture hall was dark except for the one spotlight they always have on, pointed at the lecturer’s desk. The spotlight was bright white like a china plate, but felt… warm. I went down the steps and stepped up on the platform where the desk was and sat down on the desk, really slowly, feeling the cold wood surface on the backs of my thighs through my jeans. I leaned back, lying down flat on the desk with my knees bent in the air. In my hand, I was holding a handkerchief… and I raised it to my face like a veil and breathed through it, licked it, tasted it.”

“Then turning to face the spotlight, I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them all the way off, dropping them on the floor of the lecture platform. I trailed my fingers up and down my breasts, hooking them on the ridges of my shirt as I did so, teasing it up but never off. With the handkerchief still tucked in my hand, I dipped my hand beneath the waistband of my underwear, snapping it against my skin and allowing my legs to shiver as if I was cold. Then I heard footsteps, slow ones, walking heavily on the ball of their feet. I turned my head to the side, my cheek resting on the desk as I looked. He came out of the darkness, his hands casually stuffed into his pockets. He looked interested, fascinated by why I was there on his desk, in his classroom. I sat up, propping myself up on my elbows. He walked over, stopping between my legs, a foot or two away from the desk and stared down at me.”

“Who was he?” Crane asked calmly.

She flicked her eyes up to his and smiled shyly. Her ears turned red and she bit her lip to keep from laughing in discomfort.

“You, Professor.”

He exhaled through his nose, trying to maintain his composure. He nodded curtly.

“Continue. What did I do?” He leaned his head against his knuckle, swirling his thumb against the thin skin of his temple.

“You smiled and laughed because you found me pitiful. What are you doing, Miss Greyson? And I told you that I was masturbating like you asked me to do. Good girl… don’t let me stop you. Please, go on. You stepped back and sat down in a chair in the front row to the side of the platform where I could see you when I tilted my head. As you watched, I slid my hand beneath my underwear again, grabbing myself, just wanting to feel how warm I was against my own hand. I shuttered and looked at you, you said nothing, just watched… intently. Then I started to rub myself against my fingers, moving my hips up and down. I squeezed my thighs around my hands and flexed my toes. I moved my hips faster and faster, finding the parts of myself that were warmer and wetter. You licked your lips and ran your fingers across your mouth, smiling as I sighed loudly. Don’t be quiet on my accord, Miss Greyson, you laughed and I opened my mouth, almost drooling as I watched you… watch me. My legs started to spasm against the pressure of my fingers rubbing harder and harder, coaxing feeble moans from between my lips, wet with my own spit.”

“Professor, I whispered, Oh God, Dr. Crane. I forced my eyes open to look at you. My back arched and I wanted you to touch me, Professor. Yes? You asked me, and leaned forward with your elbows on your knees. What do you want? You smiled sinisterly because you knew that I wanted you. Touch me. Please! I reached my hand out to you, holding the handkerchief like a white flag. You stood and walked over slowly, looking down the length of my body glowing in the white spotlight. This is my handkerchief, you took it from me and held it up to the light, tsk tsk tsk.”

“I’m sorry, Professor. I whined and brushed my fingers against your suit coat, grabbing onto the edge. Hmmm, what? What is it? You asked distractedly, twisting the handkerchief between your hands. Touch me, Dr. Crane. I sighed and sat up, pulling my legs to me and turned to face you. You still wouldn’t look at me, so distracted were you by your handkerchief I had been holding against my skin.”

“Was I?” Dr. Crane raised his eyebrow and crossed his legs, feeling himself get hard as the girl spoke.

“I sat on my knees on the desk and ran my hands up the inside of your suit jacket. Fuck me, Dr. Crane, I asked you and raised myself up on my knees to kiss your neck. You wrapped the handkerchief around my neck… like this.”

The girl took the white handkerchief from the front pocket of her backpack and pulled it around her neck. Dr. Crane nodded slightly.

“Go on.” He whispered.

“You chuckled and rubbed your nose against mine, teasing me with your lips. You wouldn’t kiss me so I licked your lips with my tongue, dragging it up to lick each lip. I wrapped my own hands around your neck and let my nails dig into the stiff tendons in your neck. Then you finally kissed me, biting my lips as you kissed them. You breathed heavily as you kissed me, sucking my tongue as I gasped softly into your ear. You shoved your hand under my shirt and cupped my breast so hard I squealed. You said I was pitiful and kissed me harder. Tell me what you want, you ordered and I whined in discomfort. I didn’t want to tell you what to do to me but you pulled away, refusing to kiss me until I told you. Fuck me. I said quietly and you shook your head. No, that’s not what you want, is it? You want to be kissed well, you want to be touched and you want to touch me, right? You whispered into my ear roughly. So tell me what you want to do.”

“I want you to masturbate me. I found myself saying and watched you smile slyly, a glint of something scary in your eyes. You twisted the handkerchief between the fingers on your left hand and drew my face closer to yours. You trailed your index finger down the dip of flesh between my breasts, down to the waistband of my underwear. Your fingers cupped around me and I instinctively raised myself up, pushing into the placement of your long, dry fingers. You shook your head at me and exhaled against my jaw, now what? I had already started moving my hips quicker, building up friction that felt so good. Rub your fingers against me, Dr. Crane. I tried to say evenly but my voice jumped as I whined, nearing some sort of climax. You did as I asked and rubbed your fingers roughly against the hood of my cunt inching towards my clit. The pressure was so much that I quivered and began to sit down again, trying to cut you off but you gripped the handkerchief around my neck tighter and pulled me up again. No, Miss Greyson. You can take it, you said cooley beside my ear. Take it. You ordered softly and changed the movement of your fingers, pulling pleasure up from the bottom of my vulva, panting just as hard as I was.”

“I gripped my hands into your shoulders and drooled on your collar, shaking with stimulation. Oh God, oh my God, Dr. Crane. I gasped and whined into your ear, almost licking the cologne off your neck. Good girl, good girl. You’re close, aren’t you? Are you going to come, Miss Greyson? You pressed harder, and pulled the handkerchief tighter around my neck. I couldn’t get away from the stimulation so my legs spasmed and jumped against you until I came. I nearly screamed so you held your hand with the handkerchief against my mouth. That’s it, you whispered and stilled, letting me ride out the last of my stimulation, moaning into your hand.”

“And so you finished?” Dr. Crane asked calmly across the desk from the girl, her face flushed from remembering the scene.

“Yes, sir.” The girl smiled and bit the inside of her cheek. “I finished against your hand as you waited patiently. I released my grip from your shoulder and felt for your erection through the crotch of your slacks.”

“And was I erect?” Crane cleared his throat, clearly aware now that he was hard as he asked the girl.

“Yes. I fumbled my hands around it, wanting it out. Alright, it's my turn now, Miss Greyson. You growled and removed your hand from my underwear and used it to push me back down on my back. Spread your legs, Miss Greyson. You ordered and unbuckled your pants quickly, they fell to your ankles along with your boxers. Then you tugged off my underwear which had grown cold and wet almost immediately. You’re already so wet, you’ll take me easily, won’t you? You rubbed your hand along your erection. Yes, sir, I panted. You grabbed my hips and pulled me towards you, hanging partly off the table and thrusted into me. I gasped and covered my mouth, reacting to the way you fucked me like you were desperate. Fuck… fuck… you’re so tight. You gasped as you thrusted into me and I wrapped my legs around you pulling you closer, making your thrusts harder and deeper. I squealed pathetically as you fucked me faster, your hands tight around my thigs. You’re so good, Miss Greyson. You’re going to make me cum. You moaned loudly and pushed feebly as your climax built up. You’re making me finish so fast, Miss Greyson. You’re such a good girl. Good girl. Take it, I’m almost there. You pounded against me, volatile in your desperation. FUCK, you yelled as you finished and pulled out, cumming into your hankerchief. You panted and pulled your pants back up, buckling your belt once again. I sat up, semen and little streaks of blood running down my thighs. You grabbed my jaw in your hand and kissed me. You let me suck against your lips, seeking comfort from the stimulation. Put on your pants, you pulled away from me and ran a hand through your hair.”

“Did it feel good?” Dr. Crane asked seriously.

The girl looked up at him and being unable to blush more than she had, nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

“Now, Miss Greyson, would it scare you if I asked you to come over to my apartment tomorrow night?” He removed his glasses and polished them, not looking at the girl.

“Yes.”

“But would you do it?” He asked and put the glasses back on his face, his eyes completely trained on his student. She blinked and licked her lips before opening her mouth to answer.

“Yes.”

“Good.” He waved her towards the door. “I have work to do, go now.” He spun in his chair to retrieve two textbooks beside his computer and dropped them on the desk in front of him. The girl stood and took her bag but stopped briefly before opening the door again to leave. She placed the handkerchief between the pages of the open textbook and smiled.

“Thank you for letting me use it.” She turned and left without another word. The door slammed behind her and Crane fell back into his chair, immediately unbuckling his pants and taking out his erection, he masturbated into the handkerchief without another thought.

..................................................................................

End of part 2 :)

#cillian murphy x reader #cillian x reader #jonathan crane x reader #jonathan crane #jonathan crane smut #smut #cillian x fem!reader #cillian x y/n #hot scarecrow #dr crane #crane x reader

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femmefatalevibe · 1 year

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Femme Fatale Playbook: How To Thrive In Your Single Era Without Losing Your Mind

For the "hopeless romantic" types or individuals who crave intimate romantic relationships, here are some tips to make the most of your singlehood while setting yourself up for a successful new partnership.

Leverage other outlets to satisfy your needs for emotional and sexual connection:

Invest in your friendships to get that emotional intimacy you crave. Platonic relationships can offer as much depth on an emotional and intellectual level as a romantic partner. Plus, you are more likely to have multiple friends vs. multiple partners, which allows you to engage in different types of conversations, learn about a diverse array of subjects, try out more activities, and appreciate different senses of humor/personalities along the way.

Embrace your single era to further explore your sexuality on your own terms. Try out different toys, entertain yourself with erotic novels, films, and podcasts, invest in hot lingerie or sensual perfumes/beauty and skin products, and educate yourself with books like Come As You Are, She Comes First, Yes Means Yes! and essays on female sexuality. The Quinn app is also a great example of ethical porn made by women, for women. Give yourself some alone time to get real with yourself about your likes, dislikes, fantasies, and hard nos. These self-love practices will allow you confidently and clearly ask for what you want once you find a lover you deem worthy of sharing these intimate experiences with you.

Take time for self-reflection and discover your "ideal type." Create a partner compatibility blueprint and non-negotiables checklist:

Being truly single provides you the time and space to truly get to know yourself. Give yourself the gift of introspection – consider your current lifestyle, interests, habits, values, daily routine, and any ways you plan on changing or evolving these aspects of your life over the next few years. Consider the qualities you like about yourself and those you admire in others (friends, family, coworkers, fellow students, mentors, etc.).

Complete a self-intake to reveal the qualities that would demonstrate compatibility in a partner. Clarify the personality traits, values, and lifestyle habits you look for in a partner. Then, consider your physical type and any other more surface-level qualities you look for in a partner (e.g. a certain level of education, upbringing, languages spoken, profession, morning or night person, any dietary or fitness habits, etc.) to construct your ideal type(s). While you may not ultimately end up with a partner that 100% fits into one of these personas, knowing what you're looking for helps you know what you don't and streamline your vetting process

Use this information to create a "non-negotiables" list to help you easily detect whether someone will be compatible with you from early conversations or, at the latest, after 1-2 dates. These qualities will be very personal due to our own beliefs, lifestyle, and goals – know if something like someone being a smoker, having certain family obligations, dietary restrictions, or having certain political/religious beliefs would be a dealbreaker for you.

Consider dating as a networking tool. Live your life and allow potential partners to enter your purview organically:

Do not make dating into a mission-based, isolated pursuit. Reframe dating as an organic evolution of your social life, leisure activities, and time used to explore your interests. Go out to bars, lounges, coffee shops, and parks. Join activities, social clubs, and interest-based meetup activities (book clubs, sports clubs like a tennis club, and art gallery memberships are great options as well). Take classes based on your interests – like a cooking class, language class, art class, writing class, coding class, etc. and be open to mingling. Having a shared interest is the first step to lifestyle compatibility with a partner.

Be open to accepting invitations to group dinners, hangouts, dinner parties, cocktail events/happy hours, beach days, etc. These social outings are a great way to connect with friends of friends that you probably wouldn't meet out in the wild but are more trustworthy (and are more likely to share compatible attitudes or lifestyle habits) due to your mutual connections.

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muddyorbsblr · 2 years

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one look and they'll know

See my full list of works here!

Summary: You go to work on the set of Thor Ragnarok one day and you're greeted with the sight of one Tom Hiddleston on his knees and your coworkers whispering about how he perfected his posture.

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warning/s: implied smut (there's like 2 paragraphs that talks about it), mentions of BDSM terms, talks about throat grabbing, cussing, and a potentially Domme!Reader that doesn't know her power [if i missed anything let me know!]

Working as a set designer on a movie set meant that every day could either be agonizingly monotonous, or no two days would ever be the same. There was this one TV episode you worked on where majority of the project took place in an interrogation room, so there was next to nothing for you to do besides making sure that continuity errors were minimized or even completely avoided.

This project…was not agonizingly monotonous. By some stroke of luck, you'd landed a gig as a set designer for Thor: Ragnarok, and now you were working on sets that would be walked on by the likes of Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Hopkins, and--fucking Christ on a crutch--Tom Hiddleston.

When you decided to leave your day job of weekly software patches and bug fixes and the ever droning minutiae of daily updates that really gave you nothing except migraines and a bad habit of stress-eating for a chance at a career in the entertainment industry, did you ever think it would lead you here? Absolutely not. Truthfully, you were content with the interrogation rooms, but this? This was a pipe dream.

"Ah. Morning, Y/N," you heard the moment you stepped on set from Taika, currently dressed in a skin-tight spandex gray CGI suit with a giant Korg head harnessed atop his shoulders. "We sourced enough sugar glass bottles for Tessa to throw in Tom's general direction today, yeah?"

"Well I got five dozen so…we should be good," you shot back with a chuckle. You knew full well what the cast and crew got up to when sugar glass was involved. Mostly smashing it on each other's heads and making some great takes for the blooper reel.

"Awesome. I'll see you there." With a wave you started walking toward your fellow set designers, currently glancing and giggling at one of the Sakaar sets.

"Alright, what's got your panties wet this time?" you called out to your coworkers.

Bryan, a lanky guy slightly taller than you motioned toward the set. "Look at Hiddlebum."

"I'd really rather not, you know that I trip on air the second I even glance in his direction," you shot back. "I can't keep my dignity around that man, let alone my sanity. Don't tell me to look at him."

"He's not gonna look back," Denise, a curvy redhead and one of your closer friends on set, commented in a sing song tone. "Trust me, boss, you're gonna wanna look."

With a huff, you glanced toward the set and you could wear that your heart turned to solid lead and then jumped out of your chest and straight to the ground. Lord have mercy, you were not ready for the image of Tom in his dark blue-green leather getup, wrapped in gold chains, on his fucking knees, back perfectly straight, and head tilted down to the floor.

The sound that came out of your mouth did not sound ladylike. Hell, it didn't even sound human.

"Do you think he's--?" Denise started.

"Ohh he definitely is, I mean look at that posture! You don't get there from looking up one picture, you get there from practice and meticulous correction. This man's a sub."

"Sorry, a what?" You were now officially, thoroughly, confused.

"Submissive," Bryan explained to you. "It's a whole thing that needs a 6-hour crash course and a 40+ slide Powerpoint presentation, but for your immediate knowledge, madam, it means he likes being ordered around in the bedroom."

"So what? Like strip? Slowly? Walk over to me, come to momma type shit?”

"I'm shocked how quickly you got the vibe, boss," Denise quipped. "Bry, what if she's a domme?"

"A what??" you nearly shrieked. "You think I'm the one who says 'strip slowly and sit down like a good boy and don't move a muscle while I ride you'?" You took a breath to calm yourself. "You're fucking insane, the lot of you."

"Again, you got the vibes, boss. The more you joke about it the more I'm convinced that it's in your DNA."

You let out a frustrated exhale. "Alright you two knuckleheads, look at me." Your voice dropped half an octave and became fuller as you said the last bit, using a tone you hadn't taken out ever since you resigned from the testosterone-laden world of software development.

"Yes, goddess?" Your blood froze over as you heard the soft spoken words. There was no way it was…No.

Right?

You looked at Bryan and Denise, both with matching expressions of wide-eyed scandalous amusement on their faces, as they shifted their gaze back and forth between you and Tom. Slowly you moved your gaze back to the set, your breath catching in your throat in an ugly inhuman sound as you saw the steel-blue eyes that haunted your filthiest, wettest, most vivid fantasies…staring straight at you.

"I-I-I uhm…" you stammered, your voice returning to your normal tone, losing your footing despite being completely stationary. "I was talking to these knuckleheads, s-sorry Tom." You took a steadying breath. "As you were." You mentally smacked yourself as your 'programmer BossLady' voice came out again, your eyes widening in complete shock as he wordlessly followed your instructions and resumed to look down at the floor.

"Confirmed," Bryan stage whispered to you and Denise. "He's a sub, and we've been silently submitting to Y/N all this time. I mean…Madam." You groaned at his words.

"You two," you hissed at them. "Let me fucking tell you, I am the farthest thing from a madam. Or a goddess or whatever it was that he called me." You inwardly shuddered at the memory, although if you were being honest it wasn't from shock or disgust. It was from arousal. "My life is unbelievably, annoyingly, dreadfully…vanilla."

Denise giggled. "But you know the jargon? Uh huh. Sure, boss."

You rolled your eyes at her. "Bitch please, I read Fifty Shades. The smut. The toe-curling filth found in the wonder that is Kindle Unlimited. The fanfiction written about that fine-ass man on his knees over there," you whispered the last part in a hiss. "But I digress. The point is that my brain may be filthy, and it may be filled with very vivid fantasies of that very same man on his knees right now, but real life Y/N? Yeah. No."

"Maybe no man ever rose to the challenge," Bryan teased. "You think Hiddlebum would?"

"That's not a direction my brain ever wants to go unless I'm already in bed, in my birthday suit, legs spread, with a toy in my hand," you shot back without missing a beat. "As for no man ever rising to the challenge?" You leaned in close to their ears. "I can't even get a guy to go down on me because every guy I ever dated or even just fucked said they never do it with anyone because it tastes weird. And don't get me started on the ones that practically bolt out of my hotel room naked when I ask them to put a hand on my throat."

"Maybe you're just talking to the wrong boys, Y/N." You turned around to see that Chris had joined your conversation with a smug look on his face. "You have to start talking to men. Perhaps then your luck will turn."

"Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to eavesdrop on conversations that don't have shit to do with you, Hemsy?" you shot back with an amused smile. You couldn't ever really be mad at the guy who resembled a walking talking 6'4 teddy bear. It was physically impossible. "Good morning."

"Good morning, indeed," he chuckled, turning his attention to the Sakaaran set. "Beautiful posture there, Tom! Absolutely exquisite," he hollered, causing the British man to let out several chuckles.

"Ehehehehe, sod off, Chris." He looked up from his position, most likely intending to glare at Chris, but instead his eyes met yours, and you felt this inexplicable pull towards him. No. Wait. Back up a bit. You felt as if there was this inexplicable force pulling him towards you. You tilted your head the slightest bit, as if questioning him and his tethering gaze, your eyes once again widening in total shock as he responded with turning his head towards the floor in a bow once again.

"Erm…what the fuck was that?" Chris asked, poking your shoulder repeatedly. "It's like you broke him, tiny terror."

"Me?? Broke him??" you hissed as you turned around to glare at the towering Australian. "I'm the one who's fifty shades of fucking confused here!"

"You may be, but I've never seen him fold for a woman like that in the entire time I've known him. With a tilt of your head, no less. No wonder your people call you 'madam'. Maybe I should call you that--"

"Don't even fucking think about it, Hemsworth." Your tone from earlier had returned, the one you tried to keep locked away since you gave your resignation letter to your final day job two years ago. A tone you'd once been confused as to why it could cause all those bravado-filled middle-aged men to fold and actually listen to you, well now you had an inkling.

The tone was domineering. It allowed no room for counter-arguments; perhaps you were right about the words that you were uttering, but also perhaps you weren't, but your tone didn't demand their subservience, it just took. And while it worked in conference rooms and face offs with no less than senior management of the client companies you'd dealt with, never once did you think to use it in the bedroom.

You never realized it was an option.

"Where's Taika?" you asked after taking a few deep breaths to recenter your brain. This was gonna be one of those days, the type that you'd never forget even when you were an octogenarian and you'd have trouble remembering if you've even eaten for the day. "I have to tell him we can't have the scene set up like this."

"Why not, lil mayhem?" You turned and once again saw the ridiculous gray CGI spandex that Taika was decked out in, but thankfully now without the gigantic Korg head so at least you were no longer confused where you should be staring.

"Because people are gonna take one look at him and they're gonna know," you explained, pointing towards the set at the kneeling Loki.

The director looked at you, clearly confused. "Know what?"

"Ohh this will be delicious," Denise all but moaned. "Watch this," she told Taika as she turned back to you. "Tell him to straighten his back."

"This feels like I'm exploiting him somehow, you do it."

"He's not gonna listen to me, I don't have the voice," she teased back, and then sighed. "The sooner you convince Taika, the sooner we can fix the scene."

"Ugh, fine. Taika? Look at Tom." You took another breath, finding that voice once again in no time. "Straighten your back." Once again, your breath caught in your throat with a hideous sound as you watched him wordlessly follow your instructions. "That's what I mean," you addressed Taika once more. "People take one look at that scene, see his posture and--"

"Apologies, goddess."

It felt like your spine had been replaced with pure ice as you watched Taika's jaw go slack, heard Chris choking on air in the background, and your two fellow set designers and friends start giggling once more as soon as the soft-spoken words were uttered from the mouth of one Thomas William Hiddleston.

"What did you call me??"

"Ohh I think we know what he called you. Goddess," Taika taunted. "Right then, we need to get this man off his knees," he said, turning to the crew and giving them instructions to reset the scene.

"So what? We're gonna have him stand now?" one of the assistant producers sneered. "Way to take us out of the moment, Y/L/N. Fucking buzzkill," she muttered.

"I'm not telling you to make him stand, I'm just telling you to get him off his knees," you countered. "It's not my fault that your comprehension's lacking."

The assistant started to make a motion towards you as if you bitch slap you, but the director stood in her way. "Don't even think about it. That's a one way ticket to Tom's shit list if you lay a hand on her," he threatened, and you watched as the AP looked over to the corner of the set with wide eyes. When you followed her gaze, your eyes widened as well at the sight of Tom with a borderline murderous look in his eyes.

"Don't," he said simply. The AP backed off, muttering something about favoritism that you couldn't quite catch.

"Alright then, lil mayhem, this is your idea. Run the show." You stared at Taika with incredulity. "You're the one who wants him off his knees? You get him off his knees. Call the shots."

You scrambled for ideas. "A chair?"

"Sorry, madam, we got nothing in props that could even look like it belongs in Sakaar. And I already know what you're gonna say, the Sakaaran standards are literally on the floor but still. A proper looking dining table chair will not fit the vibe."

You glared at Bryan. "Then get me a cement block, a wooden platform. A fucking concrete slab. Anything, just get this man off his knees." You turned back to face Taika. "Legally, who can I yell at here without an HR violation?"

"Just those two." He pointed at your set designers. "You are their superior after all."

You turned back to the dawdling set designers, staring at the scene laid out before them with amused looks on their faces. "Find me something." They kept staring. "NOW!!" They ran off to props like headless chickens, making both Chris and Taika break out in chuckles.

"Remind me to never get on your bad side, tiny terror," the giant Australian told you before proceeding to pat you on the head like a ferocious and yet annoyingly fluffy guard dog. "Hey Tom you can get off your knees now, you kinky little shit!" he hollered, chuckling. After a few moments he started again. "Ah, shit, Y/N be a dear? Seems he won't listen to anyone but you when he's like this."

You groaned. "For fuck's sake," you murmured before taking another deep breath, slipping into your natural voice once more. "Stand up." The next moments felt like a sucker punch to your entire system as he once again followed your instructions, afterward stealing a glance at your direction with the softest look in his eyes and a sweet smile that left you completely breathless.

What was he up to? Why was he acting like this?

Fifteen minutes later, Bryan and Denise came rushing back in with a platform box painted a distressed teal setting it down on the ground near the now standing Tom.

The next 13 hours of the day were comparatively less eventful than the start of your day. Rearranging sets, reviewing shots for possible continuity errors that you were sure Twitter would crucify you all for if they caught wind of it, and the occasional bitchy stare down with that PA from earlier this morning who tried to smack you for daring to mock her comprehension skills.

"Let's call it for the day, everybody!" Taika hollered from his director chair, now thankfully wearing more normal clothes and not that spandex CGI suit. "I'll see you in twelve hours. Get some sleep, don't go out drinking because if you come to set tomorrow hung over I will have your head." Everyone murmured their assent as they moved about, wrapping up their tasks for the day, and he turned to you. "Lil mayhem, try to get some tonight. I'm saying this as a friend. You're wound up."

"Honestly, T, it's just the whole 'she's a domme' thing from earlier. Really threw me in for a loop. I should be fine after some sleep," you reassured him, making sure to pick up a copy of tomorrow's call sheet to do some prep work before you eventually succumb to the sweet lonely embrace of solitary slumber in your hotel room. "Go, T. I can lock up tonight. FaceTime your kids, tell them you love them, read them a bedtime story. I'm sure they miss their dad."

He took a few moments before giving you an exaggerated sigh and tossing you the keys. "You drive a hard bargain, Y/L/N." He walked over to you, ruffling your hair. "You're the best."

"I know I know. Go. I'll do a quick sweep, make sure nobody gets locked in here for the night and we get here with someone banging on the door screaming 'let me out let me out'." You grabbed the clipboard containing a checklist of the areas you were to double check on before locking up and proceeded to glance over each area of the set.

Just as you were wrapping up your check of the cast trailers, a voice in the relative darkness startled you. "Miss Y/L/N." You straightened your posture and started fumbling in your pocket for something, anything to defend yourself with. Then you remembered the keys, so you quickly started threading each key in between your fingers, when you felt two large hands gently grasp your shoulders. "Shh shh, it's alright. It's just me. You're safe."

You let out the heaving breath you were holding, recognizing the voice immediately. "Tom," you breathed out, the fear leaving your body, but the tension remaining. "Fucking hell I was about to stab you." You felt your spine go frigid as you felt him pressing tender kisses to the top of your head as his hand traveled down your arm to deftly remove the keys from between your fingers.

"I didn't mean to startle you," he whispered into your hair, his hand once again traveling up your arm and resumed its place on your shoulder. "I simply wanted to ensure you were safe. I didn't see you come out of the studio." He moved his head to press a kiss to your temple. "I apologize, goddess."

There was that name again, stealing all the breath from your lungs and making you question so much about you. About him. But mostly it made you question…"Why do you keep calling me that?"

His hand traveled up to lightly grasp your chin, urging you to turn your head and look up at him. "Because that's what I call you," he answered simply, bringing his face much closer to yours. Once he was close enough that you could feel his breath on your lips, he whispered, "When I dream of you."

Instead of saying anything, you opted to bring your hand up to the back of his neck, threading your fingers through his short dark blond curls and gently pulling him down towards you, touching your lips to his briefly in a tentative, fleeting kiss. This led to him quickly turning you to face him, lifting you by the backs of your thighs, and backing you into the side of the nearest trailer.

When he had you securely trapped between him and the trailer, he brought his hand up to cup your face, while the other roamed from your thigh and up the side of your body. Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt his thumb lightly graze the side of your breast.

Just as he was about to lean in to kiss you, you breathed out, "Wait." He stopped immediately, his eyes quickly becoming apologetic. "I-I don't know…" you stammered, trying to find your words, but quickly realizing that the most honest words you had at the moment were, "I don't know how to be what you want. I don't know anything--"

A smile of relief began to spread across his face. "It's alright." He pressed a quick kiss to your lips, as if to reassure you. "I simply want you, Y/N. As you are." A soft kiss to your cheek, then your jaw. "I want to make you happy." A kiss to the skin below your ear, before placing his hand lightly around your throat, sending a thrill throughout your entire body, and then whispering, "I want to satisfy you."

"And what do you get out of this?" you breathed out. "Seems to me I'm the only one benefiting from this, that's not right."

"Me? That's easy," he murmured against your skin as he rolled his hips into yours, causing you to let out an obscene moan that echoed through the dark empty halls of the studio. "I get you."

This was an unusual morning. Unusual in the sense that this time, you were not woken up by the scandalous sound of your alarm, rather you'd awoken in this blissful, sated state. Your mind raced through the memories from last night, how you'd practically raced to your hotel room hand in hand with Tom after you'd locked up in the studio.

The almost reverent way he stripped you of your clothing, pausing to press kisses to every new area of skin exposed to him, how he already had you a writhing mess before he even took off your panties. How he brought you and pushed you well past the point of complete ecstasy with his fingers and his mouth multiple times before he even made love to you.

Repeatedly.

You bit your lip as the memories came at you in vivid detail, pushing yourself off of your bed to get ready for the day ahead. Before you could even begin to inch yourself out of the bed, an arm tightened around your waist, pulling your naked body against a broad, toned, equally naked form.

A smile found its way to your face with no effort at all as you placed your hand over the arm wrapped around you, your fingertips tracing the length of the forearm, causing him to stir and press his body even closer to yours. A hybrid between a giggle and a moan escaped your lips as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder, his hum of satisfaction vibrating throughout your body.

He moved his kisses across your shoulder, pausing for a good few moments on the juncture of your shoulder and your neck before moving up to your ear and whispering in the most delicious sleep-laden voice, "Good morning, goddess."

A/N: Please don't crucify me for the non-smutty implied smut, I am babie. But the idea refused to leave my head so I had to write it.

This insanity was based off of this post because I'm gonna be honest, my brain went places when I saw those pictures. AND THE GIF

Here's a bonus gif for those who read until the end:

Taglist: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston oneshot #tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston smut #muddyorbs writes

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colebabey888 · 1 month

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LIVING THROUGH YOUR ALTER EGO | IT GIRL DIARIES

I've had a lot of girl's tell me how hard it is to be an It Girl, just because of the amount of changes you have to make in your life. Which is understandable, it's not easy to just wake up one day and decide to be a completely different person and forget who you were yesterday or your old habits.

Truth be told, I used to be one of those many girl's, I thought I could never be who I wanted to. I could never be that confident diva who achieved everything with ease... so I made a plan, a plan to begin living through my alter ego and eventually, I became her.

🩷🎀🌺💌💋👛💕👠🛍️👑

Here is your Guide for an Easy Start to Living Through Your Alter Ego.

Step 1. | Create your alter ego ( this is who you want to be. Decide what they do, how they think, what they look like and what their daily routine would be. Give them a name )

Step 2. | Create a Vision Board that resonates with your alter ego ( you can find many ideas on Pinterest or head over to my Pinterest here, for a already drawn up vision board, I've create many )

Step 3. | Wake up everyday as your present self and then, start implementing small routines throughout your day that your alter ego would do. Always start small. ( remember, it's harder to wake up and just be different person )

Step 4. | Choose atleast 1 small routine that your alter ego would do and make that a consistent daily routine for yourself ( skin care routine, hot lemon water every morning, reading, walking or doing your makeup ) It doesn't have to be something big and drastic, just something small to give you direction and discipline.

Step 5. | Gradually add in more routines as the days go by. Think of your current reality as plain white cake batter and your alter ego's life as pink food coloring, everyday you add more food coloring into your batter and in the end, you will just have pink cake batter.

Step 6. | Try this for 2 months, this will give you enough time to take things slowly.

Tip : Everytime you've successfully remained consistent with a routine from your alter ego, cross it off your vision board, because this means it is no longer a vision, it is your reality.

( use your vision board as a to do list on this journey )

I hope this helps many of you in starting your IT GIRL persona and become the pretty divas you all are. 💋🩷🎀🌺

------------

This is your daily talk with @colebabey888

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adviceformefromme · 2 years

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10 ways I became anxiety free.

To overcome anxiety you need to put in the work, this is not some click-your-fingers-and-its-gone shit. You need to return home to yourself and learn to live in alignment with your truth and not what society expects from you. I went from years on years of crippling anxiety and panic attacks to living completely anxiety-free for many years now, here’s what I did....

1 ) I fucking paused. I created a space for myself daily to meditate / journal. I stopped listening to the outside world and started tuning into me. I noticed the voice in my head and all the ways it was kicking me down at every given opportunity. I noticed how I worked a job that was so far from everything I loved and valued in life, I started noticing the men I was choosing and how they would fuel my anxiety by giving me scraps of love which I accepted and tolerated for years. I noticed the ‘friends’ who’s energy I felt off around, I noticed my vices, drinking alcohol even dabbling in drugs and smoking for release. In pausing I really got to see how my life was so far from love, and this distance manifested as anxiety as a signal for me to come back home to myself.

2) I stopped talking / obsessing over my anxiety. The more I read about it, spoke about it, the more it could live within me. I was feeding it each day the more I focused on it. I stopped giving anxiety my energy. I accepted it was there, and focused on feeling better.

3) I got help. I found a therapist I trusted and could understand me (it can take some time) and this was a game changer. I did a course of cognitive behavioural therapy for 3 months (which I privately extended to 9 months) and learnt all the ways my childhood wounds had been playing out in my adult life. I would choose men that would validate my belief that I was not worthy, something I believed as a child from my dad. There was a long list of old beliefs that I was playing out in my everyday life triggering my anxiety at every opportunity.

4) I moved my body, I did regular exercise, dancing, yoga, running, pilates, walking. In order to get that uncomfortable feeling out my stomach, it was crucial the energy in my body was being moved otherwise I was energetically stuck.

5) I learnt how to connect with my inner child, I found out what I needed, where I was neglecting myself, and this was huge for my anxiety relief. I read Susan Anderson for steps on how to do this.

6) I got new friends. I changed my circle, and with this my energy changed. I spent time with women who inspired me, educated me, lifted me up, and this took time. There were periods I had no friends but I knew it was more important to be alone than be around people who were not aligned with me, and my values.

7) I stopped dating unavailable men, as my self love and worth grew I was no longer interested in men that rejected or treated me like an option. I choose men who treated me as I desired, with respect, care, interest, love and affection. Hot and cold men held no place in my life and this helped shift ALOT of my anxiety as my father wound was a huge part of the anxiety I was feeling on a daily basis. A man ignoring me for 3 days would trigger severe anxiety until I heard back.

9) I choose a career and jobs in alignment with my truth. I said no to jobs not paying me enough, jobs with toxic teams. At interviews I learnt about the culture and asked questions to see if I was a good fit for me.

10) I poured into my passions and built my confidence, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and proved my limiting beliefs wrong. I travelled alone, I learnt to enjoy my own company, I read books, attended retreats, listened to music that made me feel good, I helped other people, I switched off my phone.

All of the above was a huge process spanning over 10 years, it required time, energy, determination, heaps of self love and commitment, financial investment (self-funded), and an overwhelming desire to heal the parts of me that my anxiety was attached to.

#anxietyrelief #healinganxiety #anxi4ty #self healing #levelup overcomedepression depression #manifestyourreality #selflove #self development #self love

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deanstead · 2 years

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Murder Next Door || Part 3

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: no

Summary: When one of Jay’s neighbours is found dead, both he and Y/N find themselves right smack in the middle of what could turn out to be a very dangerous situation.

Word Count: 3,321

Tags/Warnings: canon-typical mentions of murder, blood, idiots-in-love

A/N: A lot happens in this part but I decided not to drag it out and finish it up here! This was really meant to be a one-shot but I got carried away and wrote like 8k+ words so I just split it into three parts. Hope you guys have enjoyed this! Floored by the positive response to this!!! Hit me up and let me know what you think!

MINI SERIES MASTERLIST || JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST

Part 2

The timing of everything was hell, especially since they were right smack in the middle of a murder case. A murder case that you found yourself in the middle of. But even so, this silver lining was kind of a bright silver lining, so much so that you could almost forget about the looming threat.

Jay smiled at you as he put on his jacket.

“If anything happens, you call me.” Jay nagged.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “I’ll be fine, Jay.”

He opened his mouth again but you stopped him. “I won’t open the door for anyone but you, Will or Intelligence.”

Jay smiled. “Glad to know you were paying attention.”

You didn’t answer, but you couldn’t anyway as Jay gave you a kiss. “I’ll call.”

Jay left the house in a considerably better mood than all the other days put together, and with a newfound determination that he was gonna find this guy no matter what he had to do to smoke him out.

Jay didn't even have time to take off his jacket at the district before he and Hailey were on the move based off of the new information they had - they’d tracked the burner phones back down to the stores and although there were some CCTV images, they weren’t enough for facial recognition. Despite that, one of the store owners remembered that the guy who had come in to get one of the burner phones on the list had used a credit card for a different purchase.

Jay glanced at Hailey, rapping on the door.

“Hi, Ms. Austin? We're looking for your father, Freddie Austin? We’d like to talk to him.” Jay said, raising his badge that rested around his neck.

The young lady who opened the door frowned. “What’s this about?”

Hailey spoke this time, with a smile. “We found some charges on his credit card that we’d like to find out more about. We just need his help, and probably yours.”

The woman frowned but stepped back to let the both of them in, anyway.

Freddie Austin was seated in a wheelchair, looking like it would take a toll on him just to leave the house, much less visit different stores to buy several burner phones.

Jay didn't say anything, Hailey naturally taking lead in the questioning. “So we tracked the purchase of several burner phones to a credit card in your father’s name. Can you take a look at this?”

Hailey handed over the slip to Freddie’s daughter and her eyes moved swiftly over the page before she nodded. “Yeah, I was going to cancel it but then I ended up using it for his daily expenses, groceries and stuff you know? I pay the bills anyway, so it’s still an active card. But I don’t even know where to buy a burner phone, there must be some mistake.”

Jay leaned forward this time. “Is there anyone else who has access to his card?”

There was a pause before she answered. “Yes… I brought in a caretaker recently. You know, one of those nurses that help with the elderly? Mainly for the times that I have to be at work.”

Jay nodded. “We need his information.”

On the way back now.

You sent the message to Jay, slipping your phone back into your pocket and glancing up at the darkening sky.

The meeting wasn’t supposed to have taken this long. In other words, you’d completely underestimated the time it would take, completely forgetting your editor was going to be there.

You pulled your jacket around you, quickening your footsteps just so you could make it out of the cold. Based on Jay’s last text, you figured he’d probably be home before you.

The rustling of bushes behind you made you turn just a little.

You’d been feeling like you had eyes on you for the most part of the day but you’d chalked it down to being a little paranoid in the daytime. But you weren’t sure you wanted to take any chances especially since it was getting dark.

It was the sound of footsteps next, shuffling footsteps which matched your speed, no matter if you went faster or slowed down. Now, you really were a little freaked.

You could feel your heart pounding against your chest and you wouldn’t be surprised if people on the street could hear it. Not that there was anyone around to confirm your theory.

You took one last glance behind you, barely registering the man behind you, his face hidden from view with a black cap, a mask over the bottom half of his face, his hands stuffed inside his pockets.

You turned back around quickly, glancing up to zero in on Jay’s building, mentally running your mind through what would happen if you started running.

Then you heard him start moving quicker.

You had no more time to think.

Slinging your bag across your shoulders more securely, you took off at a run, pumping your legs as hard as you could while reaching into your coat pocket for your bag so you could speed dial Jay’s number.

Focus, Y/N.

You weren’t sure if your call had connected but you took the steps up to the main door twice at a time, your fingers fumbling across the keypad that unlocked the door, panic really setting in when there was a beep indicating you’d keyed in the wrong code.

“Fuck.” You muttered, hearing the footsteps behind you sound like they were catching up with you.

You didn’t waste time, keying in the numbers again, hearing the door finally unlock with a click. You made it through, kicking the door closed with your foot and taking off towards the staircase, barely hearing the lock click behind you.

Even that didn’t stop you, as you reminded yourself that the last time someone had come in dressed as a police officer, you hadn’t beeped anyone in. Maybe he really had the code to the building, so you weren’t going to take any chances.

You stumbled up the stairs, hearing someone behind you, although you no longer knew if you were imagining it but you were too afraid to take a look.

You winced as you tripped, the impact of your knee hitting the floor buzzing through you but you scrambled back up to your feet and moved. The door to Jay’s corridor was right there and you pushed your way through it, colliding straight into someone, yelping in surprise.

“Y/N?”

Not anyone, your someone.

“Jay… someone…”

“What…” Jay glanced up behind you, noticing just a shadow that turned tail.

“Hey!” Jay yelled.

He looked down at you. “Get in the apartment now.”

You didn’t have the strength to argue. As Jay headed for the staircase, following whoever had been right behind you, you made the last lap to Jay’s apartment, closing the door behind you before you finally sank to the ground.

Jay put in a call to Voight while he was still on the street, glancing up and down.

“He put someone on her. I’m going to kill him.” Jay growled into the phone.

Adam and Kim had brought Freddie Austin’s caretaker in and he’d been in the interrogation room when Jay had left to check in on you. Voight assured Jay that they were handling it before Jay hung up.

But when Jay got back upstairs and opened the door quietly, you were out of sight.

“Y/N?” Jay called, stepping further into his apartment.

He was greeted by a moment of silence before he heard your voice. “Jay?”

You crawled out from behind the kitchen counter and Jay exhaled in relief, nodding. “Yeah it’s just me. It’s okay.”

Finally feeling like you could breathe again, you got up unsteadily as Jay met you halfway, enveloping you into his arms.

As you felt his arms go around you, your knees gave way along with the dip in your adrenaline but Jay pressed you against him securely. “Alright, come here.” Jay whispered.

Jay led you gently to the couch, before you even realized you were already crying, the leftover adrenaline pouring out of you.

Jay didn’t say anything, just held you tightly against him, one hand protectively resting on the back of your neck.

When you felt all cried out, you angled your head upwards to look at Jay, who glanced down at you. Despite everything, you felt this warmth as you lay there, huddled into Jay’s side. “Sorry.” You whispered.

Jay’s eyebrows met in the middle again. “What are you apologizing for?”

You bit the inside of your cheek and he tapped your cheek. “Stop that.”

“What are you thinking?”

You smiled back at him. “Thank god I’m in love with my best friend and that he loves me too.”

Jay stroked your cheek with this thumb gently, giving you a soft smile in return.

That night, Jay took out some of the frozen lasagnas just so you didn’t have to hear anyone knock the door and barely left your side, even going so far as to tuck you in that night.

As he got up, you reached out impulsively, catching a few of his fingers.

Jay turned to look at you but you didn’t say anything.

“Shall I stay?” Jay asked quietly.

Your eyes flicked up to his. “Can you?”

Jay smiled. “Always.”

So he climbed into bed with you, fitting himself right behind you so that you’d drift off to sleep, encircled by his arms and his warmth.

“Alright, we got a name.” Adam said, just as Jay walked in.

Afraid to get charged for anything more than petty larceny, the caregiver had finally spilled to Adam and Kevin, revealing that he’d indeed been the one to purchase the burner phones but he’d passed them on to someone he knew.

Jay took the document from Adam, scanning it closely, as Kevin quickly typed.

“Jay, I think this is it.” Kevin said, angling his screen towards Jay so he could get a better look.

Arthur Marsh.

“There’s one dropped complaint of stalking, that’s why the DNA didn’t turn up anything in the system but…” Kevin glanced up at Voight, prompting Jay to turn to look at their Sergeant too.

“Get the LKA and gear up.”

Kevin glanced back at Jay, who nodded.

“Chicago PD!” Kevin yelled, raising the battering ram and hitting it against the door, as it flew open.

Jay headed in first, Hailey right behind him, as the rest moved through the house.

Shouts of “Clear!” resounded through the house one by one from each member of the team, before Kim's voice called for their attention.

“Guys! You need to see this.”

Jay frowned, looking around the empty house once more before he headed to one of the rooms towards the back where Kim was.

“What do you…” He trailed off as his eyes took in the dozens of photos of Abbie littered around - the walls, the table, even near his bed. He could even see the pattern of thought through the photos. Far-off photos from when he’d been admiring her from afar, more close-ups as he got braver and then a photo of her with a guy which ended in rage - her face had been scratched off.

“Jay.” Hailey called, her voice somber.

Jay glanced around, feeling his heart fall to his gut at the stack of photos of you.

“Son of a bitch.” Jay growled. “He’s going after Y/N.”

The words were barely out of his mouth before Jay was out of there, getting into his truck alone and speeding off, not standing around to wait for anyone.

You were supposed to be halfway to Will’s by now but you’d gone a whole block away before you realized that you’d left the stuff for Will behind. You knew exactly where it was, which irritated you even more because you’d put it out to remind yourself and then walked right by it out of the apartment.

So you jogged up the remaining flight of stairs, diverting your mind from the memory of the night before and quickly entered Jay’s apartment.

It was a feeling that you had the moment you entered the apartment. Like something was off. But it was vague, so you just moved to reach over for the bag you’d left on the counter, lifting it and turning back towards the door.

You froze, as you saw him now, standing in front of you. In Jay’s apartment.

You felt the dread fill you, and you took a shaky step backwards. “Who…”

“I think you know.”

That voice sent chills across your body because you remembered it, like it was yesterday.

“Cold night, didn’t wanna have to dig around for my keys”

You stepped backwards, acutely aware it was taking you further into the apartment, but you didn't have much of a choice.

You could see his face clearly now as he stepped towards you, into the pool of moonlight that came in from the windows. Which could only mean he was here to do one thing.

You tightened your hold on the bag for just a second before you flung it at him, the weight of the cans of unopened beer and one bottle of wine hitting him with a thud and causing him to stagger backwards.

Taking that opportunity, you took off, thinking your best bet was to get to either yours or Jay’s room and lock it behind you.

You’d barely taken two steps when you felt him grab you, and you felt a sharp sting slice across your arm. You tried to sidestep him but he was faster, and stronger.

You felt strong hands grab you now, flinging your body against the wall to the side. The impact of your body hitting the wall winded you as you fell to the ground with a thud and you couldn’t catch your breath enough to move quicker.

He stepped up beside you. You smelt the leather off his shoes before you saw it, right in front of your face and you turned your face up to look at him, trying not to show fear.

“I always did like the feisty ones.” He said, dragging his words out, like he was confident he had all the time in the world.

He looked around, before he grabbed the one thing that was within reach that was heavy enough - a box that you knew for a fact was stuffed with case files.

You struggled to get up, the aches in your body protesting as he raised the box above you.

And, like he’d just appeared out of nowhere, Jay stepped in between the two of you, throwing a punch against the perp’s face. A punch that was hard enough to send him staggering, the box falling behind him and the case files scattering around the floor with a crash.

“Y/N, are you hurt?” Jay leaned over you now, his eyes scanning you.

“Jay…”

Jay let out a growl as he saw the slash across your upper arm but he had no more time as he heard the perp scrambling to his feet right behind him.

You saw the glint of silver in the perp's hand now as he charged towards Jay, the knife brandished in the air. You took a sharp inhale of breath, unable to even take your eyes off them now as Jay struggled with him in the middle of his apartment.

Marsh charged at Jay and Jay launched him over his shoulder and onto the ground with a crash, the knife clattering away as you heard the arrival of everyone else.

You exhaled, as you heard Hailey and Kevin arrest Marsh on the spot, your eyes falling on the knife that was just a few inches away from you, the knife that was stained with blood. Much more than there had been.

Jay was next to you in an instant, even though you heard an involuntary groan escape his lips.

“J…Jay?” Your eyes traveled down to the darkening red spot just off to the side of his abdomen, the knife had missed the police vest by inches.

Jay shook his head. “I’m okay. I’m okay, alright?” He reached down to squeeze your hand, but you could tell he was not alright, even before he sank lower to the ground, unable to stop another groan from escaping his lips, his breathing getting just slightly shallower.

“Jay!”

“Can I see him now?” You asked, looking up at Will.

Given the choice, you knew Will would be in the next treatment room checking on Jay as well. But Connor had thrown him out so he was stuck here with you.

Other than a slight concussion, some bruises and the gash across your arm, you were none the worse for wear. But that was only thanks to Jay.

“You heard Maggie. Jay’s fine, he doesn’t even need surgery, alright? Why don’t I go and…”

“Will Halstead.” You warned. “Don’t you dare leave me here.”

Will took one look at the expression on your face and sighed. He knew that there was nothing he could say that would convince you otherwise.

“Fine. But you are sitting in here.” Will pointed to the wheelchair.

You gave him a look.

“If Jay’s awake, I’m the one who is going to get his ass kicked, stab wound or no stab wound.” Will complained. “And now that you guys are dating, he’s going to kick me even harder.”

You pressed your lips together to hide a smile.

“Alright, come on.” Will said, rolling his eyes as he helped you into the wheelchair.

You were finally able to breathe better when you finally lay your eyes on Jay.

“Y/N.” Jay called, propping himself up on his elbow but wincing.

“Jay, slow.” You said gently, not even having the heart to be any harsher as you looked back at him.

Will glanced at his brother. “What did I tell you about being wheeled into the ED?”

Jay looked at Will. “Trust me, I’m about ready to jump out of here. I hate it here.”

You glanced at Will with a smile. “Fat chance. You got stabbed.” You reminded him.

“Will.” Jay pleaded, turning to his older brother.

Will glanced at the both of you, knowing better than to hang around. “I’ll talk to Connor.”

As Will excused himself, Jay glanced back at you. “How badly hurt are you?”

You shook your head. “None the worse for wear.” You assured him.

Jay looked unconvinced. “You’re sitting in a wheelchair.”

“Will said if I don’t walk in here on my own two feet, you’d kick his ass. I’m just being a good friend and saving his ass.” You answered.

Jay let out a chuckle, followed closely by a wince.

“Sorry.” Jay whispered, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

You frowned. “What are you sorry for? You took a knife to the stomach because of me. I thought… I…” Your voice trembled a little.

Jay exhaled slowly before he reached for your hand. “I promised I wouldn’t let him touch you but…”

You just shook your head, pulling yourself up from the chair and perching yourself on his bed before you leaned in to give him a gentle hug, careful to avoid his wound. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

Jay pressed a kiss to your temple before he sat up.

“But we got him, Y/N. And you’ll be okay now.”

You sat closer, reaching out to stroke Jay’s face. “We. We’ll be okay now, Jay.”

Jay smiled. “I love you, Y/N.”

You smiled back at him. “I love you, J.”

Jay just leaned forward, despite the tug in the stitches in his side, and pressed his lips to yours. And with the knowledge that everything would indeed be okay, you smiled at his touch, even before his lips left yours.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

Character taglists are open!

#resa.fics #murder next door fic #jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead mini series #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfic #chicago pd #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x y/n

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oceane4loveu · 7 months

Text

maintain a habit and have the trigger to make your dreams come true

I just finished the atomic habit book and I really learned a lot of things that I have incorporated into my routine and it works! Well I really had to force myself to maintain discipline but now I really like it. I went through several stages before really keeping my routine ☘︎

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

1- why do I procrastinate?

I really asked myself the question and realized that it was because I didn't really have a goal and I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone. So I took a sheet, I put on my good vibe playlist and I started to make a list of objectives and I chose 2 objectives from this list that I will try to complete in 1 month the brain has It takes 21 days, or 3 weeks of application, for a habit to become automatic. So I chose the simplest goals to achieve like doing 1 hour of pilates every morning and listening to a podcast every day.

2-Build good habits

according to the book atomic habit to build a good habit you must:

☆ Make it obvious: an example I want to start pilate, to really get started I put my sports clothes right in front of my bed so when I wake up I know I have to do pilate and I also put on a reminder on my phone

★ Make it attractive: when I start my pilates I put on my most beautiful pilates outfit, I put on some relaxing music, I make this moment a moment of well-being.

☆ Make it easy: I started with 5 min of pilate first for my body to get used to it and started increasing the minutes on other days.

★ Make it satisfying: when I finish my pilates I make myself my favorite drink to reward myself even if I don't see the results yet and I reward myself for the effort.

3-how to maintain a habit

the big technique to get there is to stick the new habit to an old habit an example you want to read in the morning, every time you take the bus you read or every time you finish your sport you read for people who don't No self-discipline will be effective but you have to force yourself to stick to it. Also, you have to have goals that resonate with you, goals that you really want to do, not because others are doing it. start your day with the tasks that are the most complicated and don't try to postpone them until the end of the day, try to accomplish all your objectives for the day in the morning.

4-how to have the trigger to make this dream life come true

Well this step is really good It’s thanks to her that I started to improve my daily life.

࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ Visualization: to start, lie down in your bed and put on some meditation music or music that relaxes you, take the time to really relax. then you will close your eyes and imagine a heavenly place where you feel good, it can be a garden, an island or even your room whatever you want and you will imagine several little lights. These lights there are some that are close to you and others that are far from you, there are small ones, some medium ones and further away there is the biggest light. what I want you to know understand is that all these lights represent all your desires and your goals. at the beginning I know that you are going to try to catch all his desires because you want to try to realize them all at the same time when that's not it. we think that if we don't do it now we will never do it which is not true. If you really want something, not because you saw it in someone else or out of jealousy, just know that it's already yours. Now what to do when we are used to all these lights from now on you will start to enter the lights which are closest to you All these lights are connected together so simple example: Imagine you are in a game and there has flags when you go past flag A to reach flag B and the Monster attacks you and you lose your life you will not necessarily return to flag A but to flag B because you arrived there so when you choose a light which is closest to you it will help you project yourself towards light B which will project you towards your dream life which is the very great light that is why we say that you have to be patient and what you have to understand is that all the light is yours and no one else's.

࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ how to choose choose the right light: it's simply the light closest to you. This light for example can represent making your bed every morning. When I say that I know that you are telling yourself that making your bed every morning is too simple but making your bed every morning requires discipline, the fact of maintaining this action will Allow you to learn to trust yourself like that when you are faced with a greater objective you will tell yourself if I have succeeded in an objective like making my bed every morning well it is because I can succeed in this new objective.

࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ learn to do with the means you have: you are going to take a paper and write down everything you want to accomplish in your life and you are going to look in your notes and choose 1 or 2 things that can be achievable now. you are not you don't have to have everything now to start the things that make you dream, learn to do it with the means you have, for example I wanted to get back into pilates but I found as an excuse the fact that I didn't yet have my computer so I couldn't start yet, I continued like that for weeks then I got fed up so I took my phone I went into YouTube I looked for a pilate video and I started, I did it with the means I had. Everything doesn't have to be perfect just do it.

So these are all the things that I have learned and applied in my life. I still continue to learn new things every day and I really try to see what works for me. I hope you enjoyed. 🐾

༝༚༝༚océane

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call-sign-shark · 1 year

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Heyy how are u?

Can u please write an enemies-with-benefits/rivals x lovers prompt where they are always completing but have too much sexual tension based on this -

➢ "How adorable, your legs are shaking... Where is that prideful look of yours now?"

With hangman or rooster 😩

Idk if this sounds kinda stupid 😭

Hey dear, your request is far from being stupid. I loved it :D ! It even gave me the idea of doing 7 one-shots revolving around the Seven Deadly Sins, all related to a TGM character. ANYWAY, I hope you'll like it 💚

✨SUPERBIA ✨

Summary: You beat your forever rival, Hangman, for the first time since you became a Dagger. Hurt in his ego, he decides to humble you. (Callsign: Nemesis)

Tags: 2.3k words of Unresolved sexual tension !! like high sexual tension to torture you

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Dagger’s results

1# Nemesis

2# Hangman

3# Phoenix & Bob

The number one was written beside your call sign with a thick black marker.

Your fingers gently brushed the whiteboard’s cold and smooth surface, for you still could not realize your position among the other aviators. A glimmer of pride shone in your Y/EC eyes as you read the other names on the list. Ranked right below you was Jake “Hangman” Seresin, your forever rival. A small satisfied smirk stretched your lips at the mere thought of beating Seresin. When Maverick first introduced the idea of ranking your performances daily, you were one of the few who disagreed. To be honest, even though you liked challenges you did not want to compete against the own member of your squad. According to your instructor, the board had nothing to do with competition but was about being aware of everyone’s progress. For most of the Daggers, Maverick’s idea was indeed a great one and helped them realize how they managed to progress throughout the weeks, but for Hangman and you it rapidly became a ground for competition. Day after day, Seresin beat you. Whether it was his tricks being better, his reflexes being sharper or his aim being more precise, he was always one step ahead. And each time you looked at his name on the whiteboard with frustration, he would give you his cocky flat-lipped smile and tell you “How’s the rearview, babe?” . And each time, his words would feel like a knife stabbing your pride. You did not care about being the less skilled of the group, as long as Hangman sucked more.

Jake stepped behind you, looking at the whiteboard - you were shorter than him, so looking above your head was clearly not a problem for him. He raised one eyebrow at the result of today’s training. Maverick was certainly wrong, you could not have been better than he, could you? His jaws tensed as he stared at his own ranking.

“Hey, Bagman.” You called him.

He looked at you, one brow still raised.

“How’s the rearview, babe?”

“Is that all you have to say?” His voice retorted, colder than a frozen blizzard.

Jake had lost all of his arrogance in one blink of an eye, all remained was anger. To be true, you expected him to come up with some sharp comments or tell you that your success was only a matter of beginner’s luck. His bitter and quite aggressive reaction kind of confused you. He glared at you one last time instead and stormed out of the hangar with furious steps.

“The hell is his problem?” Shark asked, alongside Phoenix. They had just joined to congratulate your spectacular performance.

You shrugged, your pride quickly erasing any concern you had, “Nothing. Little Seresin got hurt in his pride and is probably sulking now.”

The girls could not help but laugh at your sass: you were incredibly good at spitting sarcastic poison sometimes, and they liked it. Phoenix made a brief hand gesture to tell you to forget about Hangman, “Never mind Queen. You did a great job at humbling him.”

“I hope you don’t boast about your performance but rather give advice to each other.” A manly yet soft voice resonated behind you and your girl gang. You all turned around as one.

Captain Maverick was standing behind you, arms behind his back. His green eyes shone with a glimmer of amusement.

“Yeah, of course, Nemesis was telling us how to beat Hangman,” Shark exclaimed, bubbly. You nudged her and she let a small ouch escape from her mouth.

“Of course not, Mav”

“Good," He said, looking a bit more sharply at Shark, then his focused shift back on you "Y’all should leave, tomorrow’s going to be a big and exhausting day, so rest well.”

You and the girls nodded and went back to your chair to pack your stuff and go.

“Nemesis. One last thing,” Mav called you.

You looked at him above your shoulder.

“Well done.”

“Thanks, Sir.” Your voice answer, candy-coated in pride.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

The adrenaline of today’s training had begun to fade away, leaving a pleasant floating sensation in both your mind and body. Leaving the hangar in such a good mood was not something you were used to. In fact, Hangman always managed to get on your nerves one way or another. Fortunately enough, you found a way to relieve the stress: sex. Rough, steamy, and kinky sex. What was surprising in that coping mechanism of yours was the person you ended up having sex with was none other than your enemy himself. Admittedly, that was kind of weird but from your mutual hatred, a consuming desire came to life. The sexual tension that appeared between you from day one had soon grown out of control, that was when you more or less consciously decided to become rivals with benefits. During the day you were always competing, fighting, and trying to become better than the other. But during sleepless nights - and hidden from the world’s view- you were lovers. And the fact that Hangman was the best stallion you ever encountered was a pill very hard to swallow.

While you were lost in your thoughts and making your way to the shower, two large and powerful hands grabbed your wrists and brutally pinned you against the corridor’s wall. You opened your eyes wide, heart pounding so hard in your chest that you felt like it was about to burst your ribcage. Jake was standing fierce, blocking your body between his and the wall. His green eyes dove into yours, fury burning in his irises.

“Was it fun?” He stated, icecold.

You winced, moving your wrists in a vain attempt of freeing yourself “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Was it fun to laugh at me, Nemesis?” His grip tightened on your wrist, causing the position to become uncomfortable.

“So that’s the problem! Hangman can laugh at people but when someone returns the favor it’s not fun anymore. Grow up Jake, that’s not how it works.” You hissed, as fierce as him. Kowtowing was out of question, “I beat the fuck out of you and you better get used to it, ‘cause it will happen again.”

“She bites,” he said, bringing his face closer to yours. He stayed like that for a while, silent as his warm lips brushed yours. His scorching breath crashed on your face as furious waves breaking against the shore. You swallowed, intoxicated with the exhilarating smell of his cologne mixed with the back scent of his musky sweat. Arousal built in your body.

“Yes I bite, but you know it, don’t you Seresin?” Your voice was merely a whisper. Still grazing his lips with yours, you lick the corner of his mouth in a soft, light stroke. A shiver ran down Jake’s spine. His breath, at first steady, quickened and you could not help but teasingly smile when noticing it. You were giving him hell and you were determined to continue to do so. Even though your wrists were pinned above your head, you brought your hips closer to his until your bodies met.

“Challenging me again, Nemesis. When will you learn?” He gritted between his teeth at the sensation of your body collapsing with his.

“I never learn,” You said, giving another warm lick across his lips. You gently rolled your hips and sighed, for you could feel the shape of his bulge pressing against you.

“Fucking bitch,” He released your wrists from one of his hands, but the other was still strongly holding you. Jake was a strong man, thus overcoming you physically was not difficult for him. “I think you really need an ego check,” he concluded.

“Are you really sure I’m the one who needs an ego check?” Words fell from your mouth with fire, but the look Jake gave you was ice-cold water that managed to extinguish you.

You stopped talking, apprehending his next move. As ironic as it seemed, your pride seemed far too insolent in his opinion and he was determined to humble you… In the kinkiest way you could think of. Jake’s fingers tightened around your neck just enough for you to feel their pressure on your throat without it being uncomfortable.

“You… tear down my reason,” he did not let you the time to answer, for his lips captured yours. You closed your eyes at this brutal reunion, blood rushing to your cheeks, heart beating faster. Jake dove his tongue into your mouth to seek yours, forcing you to part your lips. You hold back your moans as your tongues swiftly danced together in a burning waltz. The taste of your divine lips lighted up fireworks under his skin. He could feel his hard cock twitching as your sweet saliva melted together. He released your throat only to grab one of your breasts in his large calloused hand, kneading him with desire. He pinched your perky nipple and rolled it between his thumb and index finger. The sharp but pleasurable pinching sensation made you sigh in arousal against his mouth. Burning breathing, wet kisses, his hand unzipped your overalls. The soft caress of fresh air against your moist skin made your very soul quake.

He moved his head back, breaking your hungry kisses, and stared at you. Your cheeks were red, your gaze begging and your lips parted for you were panting. Jake snorted, satisfied.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Nemesis? Want something?” He said, his face enlightening up with that peculiar cocky smile of his. A smile so big that his malicious eyes squinted. His free hand started to wander on your burning skin.

“Fuck Jake, I want you.” You muttered, trying to kiss him again but he backed his head off again. You hissed when you missed his lips.

“Come on, you think you deserved to have your pussy filled after what you said to me? After breaking my records?” He laughed - a sadistic and exaggerated laugh whose only purpose was to humiliate you. Jake’s free hand grabbed one of your wrists and brought your hand to his shaft. Your slit drooled when you noticed how hard he was. You gently moved your trembling fingers on it - if you focused well enough you could even feel the swollen veins that were drawing patterns on his erection, “open my overall.”

You obeyed, grabbing the zipper between your fingers. With Jake leading your hand, you unzipped and freed his muscular chest from the fabric that was hiding it. You bit your lips at the sight of his pecs and abs, glistening with his sweat because of a long day of training. How much you wanted to lick his body and bite his skin from there to here, but he was still holding you against the wall firmly.

“Touch it.” He whispered in your ear, and you knew what he meant.

Heat spread under your skin. You felt his green eyes on you, undressing you. Those two burning emerald stones. But as much as he wanted you, he was not going to indulge. Obeying him again, your hand slipped into his underwear and grabbed the thick base of his cock. Jake grunted with pleasure at the sensation of your warm palm around him.

“See how you make it hard.” He said. At his words, you lowered your gaze and bit your lip when looking at the thick pinkish head, glistening with precum. You squeezed your thighs together, feeling a surge of unbearable arousal in your dripping cunt, “I could rub it in your wet folds first to lubricate it properly… Your swollen clit would love that,” He whispered, gently biting your earlobe, “And then I could fill you with one big thrust, hitting that spot you like so much. You know, the one that makes your toes curl.”

At this point, you drank his words. Your hand made up and down movements, stroking his cock shyly. He held back his moans, not wanting to give you any satisfaction. You could barely breathe - mouth dry, soul quaking - all you could think of was him.

“You know, I’d love to feel your tight walls around my dick. That wet and warm sensation of you all around me, your pussy fluttering with pleasure. But you’ve been such a bad girl.” He kept torturing you with his arousing words, to the point you lose all your composure. Jake suddenly backed off with one sudden movement, leaving you destroyed by the coiling tension between you. You looked at him, confused, as he zipped his overall to the top, depriving you of the wonderful sight of his hairy chest.

“And the bad girl you are don’t deserve my dick. We’ll see tomorrow if I’ll change my mind. But you’ll have to be extra nice to me.” He stated, smoothing his overalls with his hands.

“But- Jake-” You tried to bargain but he cut you off.

“End of the conversation, Nemesis.”

You hit the back of your head against the wall behind you in frustration, goosebumps all over your body and nerves on fire. Saying you were wet down there would be a euphemism, you were dripping, almost literally flooded. You could feel your heartbeat in your swollen clit - all your body was screaming with arousal. You pressed one of your cold hands against your forehead, your legs threatening you to collapse as Jake proceeded with leaving the corridor. But before disappearing, he glanced at you with his wide flat-lipped smile.

“How adorable your legs are shaking,” He stated, amused. You looked at him with begging eyes and it made him even more satisfied, “Where is that prideful look of yours now?"

Hell had a ring for each deadly sins,

For Lucifer, Superbia was a frozen lake.

But for you,

It was Jake Seresin.

#hangman imagine #top gun maverick #hangman x reader #jake hangman x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #top gun maverick x reader #jake seresin x you #hangman top gun #top gun maverick imagine #hangman x you #jake hangman fic #top gun fanfic #hangman seresin

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