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scribblemast3r · 1 year

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100 things to do if your atar is doo doo

rethink your initial aim to get into higher academia & make your family proud, do tafe instead

do a gap year bc atar is redundant after a bit

volunteer, if you accept peanuts as payment

offer your skills at your local library, do existential bookreadings for kids

wail

say bye to your friends who are getting accepting into their courses

ponder socialist utopias

get lost in anarchist papers

become a tap dancing clown

brace yourself to write a book about your inspiring rebound

work at maccas

get into graffiti

become an underground legend

make trash sculptures

actually go to headspace to get support in work/study

start a blog

write your manifesto

become a countercultural icon

busk (if you have skills like that)

capitalise off your mediocrity (mass appeal)

print a stupid amount of resumes to handout

dont resort to drugs and things

consider a career in comedy

actually take a cert in a marketable skill thats in demand

sell at a market

make stickers

join a cult

become a gutter punk

start an onlyfans

become a menace to society

read stories about successful people who 'didn't need uni' to get to where they are now

bitch about nepotism

pray to god you get a job with a liveable wage

launch an instagram for something weird, because you have nothing to lose

watch every single college acceptance video on youtube, yt knows its a fantasy you'll never see

get into cooking mean shit

decide to publish songs recorded in your basement onto spotify

dedicate hours to read religious texts, to find a path

start a youtube channel

publish a found-footage film

start writing poetry, but only free-form lyrics

read textbooks to replace higher education

regularly gather around fires

get jacked, give advice you're unqualified to

accept your fate

consume an absurd amount of self-help material

wonder where and when it all went wrong

get dragged further to the depths of nihilism

binge [insert anything]

make responsible financial choices

sell AI art as NFTs

consider crypto

contemplate your life

get into drag

do bartending

laydown

practice a bunch of foreign languages

be one of those mascot guys

train-hopping/hitchhiking

become a filmnerd

complete a barista course

clean your room

join a discord

become a DJ

produce techno

become a performance artist (search: Petr Pavlensky)

live in a sharehouse

defect, escape the clutch of the atar

make shitposts about your 'situation'

go to indonesia, become the modern Gauguin

wander alone into a forest

live off the grid

join the circus

watch youtube videos to teach yourself shit you didnt learn in VCE

busk as a mime

meditate

watch Netflix's entire catalogue in a week

consider a career in graphic design

set up a ponzi scheme like that movie

reminisce how good it was as a kid

get into seriously exploitative work to eat crumbs

ruminate whether or not you're mentally challenged

live off youth checks

visit real estate properties as a spectator, not a buyer

cultivate an enthusiasm for vintage cars, something out of reach entirely

literally become Bernard Black

regret the fact you didnt do any subjects that taught you how to handle money

get tatted

try to think of a list of jobs unlikely to become automated in the next 5 years

come to a conclusion that nothing can replace real human service

wait tables

lend an ear to the homeless

time manage like a mf, to make up for how time was thrown around

catastrophises

compare yourself to your graduating peers

compare yourself to country students

compare yourself to the sweats

consider a life of crime: jail provides a food , water and roof over your head

steal lemons

resort to extreme methods to establishment yourself in this dog eat dog world...

#atar #vce #year 12 #vcaa #exam season #unhelpful #helpful #student #university #tafe #victoria

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study-with-maddi · 2 years

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💬 contact @studywithmaddi on IG for help identifying your learning style and the best ways for you to prepare for exams with strategies tailored to your unique way of learning.

#studytips #studytips101 #studymotivation #unilife #atar #students #studentsofinstagram #examseason #examtips #exampreparation #sunshinecoast #sunshinecoastbusiness #studysunshinecoast #sunshinecoastsmallbusiness #studentslife #studywithmaddi #studygram #studysupport

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i-wanna-see-the-milky-way · 7 months

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Victorian Certificate of Education

What is the VCE?

The VCE is a certificate given to Australian high school students that live in the state of Victoria. A minimum of 4 subjects must be chosen with English being mandatory and a maximum of 6 subjects can be chosen for the calculation of a student’s overall performance. This calculation is called the Australian Tertiary Admissions Ranking (ATAR). Essentially, the government compares you to all of the students in the state in order to compare your performance against students graduating high school across the entire country.

Currently, another pathway called the VCE- Vocational Major has replaced VCAL (vocational certificate) at the start of this year to try to remove stigma about VCAL not being an academic pathway.

Arguments for or against the ATAR

Supporters tend to argue that:

there is no better system (with evidence of high ATAR students achieving good grades in first year of uni)

this is a meritocratic approach to education (i.e., people who does the best gets awarded)

other systems will put students at more of a disadvantage than VCE

Opponents tend to argue that:

the ATAR reduces someone’s worth to a four-digit number (it’s out of 0 to 99.95)

this system is useless if increasing numbers of students choose not to have their final grades calculated (unscored)

for VCE, only English is a mandatory subject. This doesn’t ensure well-roundedness.

students are only going by the requirements of the syllabus and this can make them lose interest in learning and puts the focus on who can get more points

My opinions and what I am doing now

While there are certainly a lot of benefits and disadvantages to this system, I do not support continued implementation of the ATAR. I dislike the fact that it’s a number to begin with, and many end up confusing the difference between ‘score’ and ‘percentile rank’ (not being the statistics police, I am not smart) and this could depreciate people of their self worth, because if someone gets a really high ATAR, there has to be someone who gets a really low ATAR.

Personally, I would not put myself through this if I didn’t decide on applying to medical school. Sorry to those who are in exam/HSC season, though. I don’t mean to discourage people in any way. I just think that this system needs to change as it doesn’t fit the laidback ‘down under’ stereotype. (For legal reasons this is a joke 💀)

Currently, my Year 11 subjects (second-last year of school) are:

Mathematical Methods (equivalent to AP Calculus AB, A2 Maths but easier💀, final year of maths)

English

English Language (Linguistics)

Biology

Chemistry

Food Studies (food science and technology)

#student #vce #education #edublr #atar #opinion #high school #school #australia #social issues #exams #exam season

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jumwa-the-cryptid · 2 years

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I'm a bit icky with the alignments. Regardless, hope you enjoy this as well as your holidays!!!! :)

#studyblr #student #vce #atar #australian studyblr #jumwa the cryptid #printer appreciation

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mrghostrat · 3 months

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i appreciate all the kindness for my uni rejection, and anyone going through the same thing should def read through my replies if they need similar comfort. there’s a lot of “ATAR isn’t everything!” comments tho, which made me realise i haven’t actually talked much about my goals, so i wanted to share a little context.

i’m 30 (on the 17th). i took a gap year after high school and i went to uni at 19. i even dropped out a semester before graduating to pursue the one thing that was making me happy (my first original comic) during a really bad depression (undiagnosed adhd burnout). i got the last units and graduated a year later, a bachelor of game design.

haven’t used my degree once. i went into comics and freelance rather than games. but i also loved that degree and would do it all again, it was absolutely worth it.

i’ve been freelance and self sufficient for 6-7 years, and it’s fun and i’m proud of the things i’ve made, but i’m so tired. i’m specifically tired of having to work 7 different angles to make up one sufficient salary, and even if it ends up being temporary, i’d give anything for a 9-5. have someone else in charge for once.

got to the end of my rope last year and sat down to figure out what i like and what i’m good at. a Life Plan, yknow. i’ve always had an interest in teaching, helping, connecting like that. figured out degrees and became really invested in this new trajectory i pictured my life going on. i was also tired of waiting, because every time i wanted to move back to the city from this tiny town we’re in, somethings come up or delayed it. so zita helped me figure out how we could get the ball rolling and break our lease 3 months early, so we could move back to melbourne and i could start my degree this year. we looked for (and found) an apartment specifically on the side of the city that would be closest to my campus.

i hope that gives a lil context as to why i’m so devastated right now. the last 5 months have been me revving up to start this new chapter at the end of feb and one little email said nah.

the degree i wanted to do was a double degree, secondary education (hons) and a BA of fine arts. i was equally excited for both, because i never got to do a lot of actual art learning in my last degree, and the BA would give me all of that— life drawing, sculpting, painting, wood/metal/jewellery working, digital, fuckin everything. but it was the less important of the pair, when it comes to getting myself a job as an art teacher, because i already have the art experience. it was just a fun bonus, and the education degree was the one i NEEDED.

in nov i had to travel to melbourne to present a portfolio and interview for the BA. they showed me around the studio too, and i fell a little bit in love. i got the acceptance email in december, but i still didn’t have an offer for the education degree. another reason why i’m so discombobulated— i technically have an invitation, but it’s for the less important degree that would just be a money sink. do i go to uni anyway?? or just ignore this invitation and move on?

my state recently made education/teaching degrees free as a way of encouraging more teacher jobs. i learnt about this after i decided i wanted to pursue teaching, so it was just a fun lil bonus that i wouldn’t be adding to my student debt. apparently not, bc i didn’t think about how every teenager and their dog would apply for teaching degrees so they could get straight into uni without any debt. so, even tho i’m a graduate and i’m not relying on school scores, i was one in a million, likely just numbers on a page, and didn’t get in.

there could be other paths. i could start the BA and add the Edu degree later? i could reapply for mid year intake. i could… idk, most of what i could do requires emailing Monash and asking wtf, because i have no idea what’s actually possible and will need someone to lay it out for me.

still feels like i’ve run into a brick wall though. little bit shut down. more sad, not quite angry, but suddenly really spiteful for some reason— like “oh, you don’t want me? okay fuck you then, i won’t ever teach.” so stupid. just a bit fragile rn

#ghost scribbles

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lamemaster · 6 months

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Maedhros with a Singer S/O

Request: I was wondering if you could write a headcanon/fic for Maedhros with a singer female elf s/o. 💖

Pairing: Maedhros x Reader

Genre: Romance and ANGST

AN: went a little overboard

"Are you, perhaps, Prince Makalaure?" Your first words to Maitimo were uttered at the doorstep of their house in Valinor. He was young back then, a brother to only two others.

You stood there as Makalaure's tutor, a name his mother had mentioned. "Uh, no, I am Nelyafinwe. Laure is inside; please come in," he invited you inside.

"Forgive me, Prince Nelyafinwe," you smiled sheepishly. "I am supposed to instruct Prince Makalaure in music. Could you please call him?"

And so it began, as your fate entangled with Maedhros'.

Months later~

"Are your parents not here to learn more about Prince Kanafinwe's performance?" Your words were plain but they cut Nelyafinwe deeply. They wounded his Finwean pride. How could you ever look at him with pity in your eyes?

He could see the judgment. You pitied him and his brother. You saw them as neglected elflings, perhaps nothing more. "My parents love us very much, but they are masters of their craft. As their sons, Kano and I understand that." Nelyafinwe looked at a tiny Kano sitting by a giant harp, playing it with a small smile.

But he had also seen the excited look in his brother's eyes when he took the stage. Kano had scanned the crowd for any signs of Feanor or Nerndanel, but his eyes had found only Maitimo, his brother, who had rushed here after his own classes at the palace.

"It was important for Kanafinwe today," you did not back down. You had wanted your student to get his recognition today. "He prepared for this very diligently." You paused; your heart ached as you noticed the subtle disappointment in your student's eyes. "I would like to talk to your parents and maybe discuss this…"

Nelyafinwe's heart stopped. You would talk to the crown prince of the Noldor for your student? Why did you care so much? And his parents…they were too absorbed in their own worlds. Would they ever listen to you?

His Atar would not like you. And his Amme was always too tired. What if they fought because of you? No, he couldn't let that happen. Kano and Tyelko got scared so easily. He couldn't let them see that again. He couldn't let you witness this.

"You, a mere tutor, want to talk to our parents? Do you even know who they are? Masters of their craft, their lives are different from yours. Kanafinwe is their son, and he understands his responsibilities." Nelyafinwe allowed his voice to carry the edge of rudeness. "Our parents create art greater than you can ever fathom. It is born out of their souls." Maybe that would scare you off.

But it didn't. Instead, you blinked at him, unfazed. "Forgive me, I do not possess mastery of music as your parents do for their craft. I do not pour my soul into my creations because somehow, to me, creation is not about taking a part of me and the world around and putting it into my art. Instead, it's about the joy of doing it. Creations should lend peace of mind. They should imitate the world around us, not take us away from it."

"Maybe that's why you are just a tutor, not a master," Nelyafinwe's words were sharp, but they served to hide his own shame. A shame you did not cast upon him, but one he had draped himself in. "Come, Kano, I am sure we can find you another tutor who might be more suitable," Nelyafinwe called for his brother, who looked at him with teary eyes. His nose and cheeks were flushed from his efforts to hold back his tears. His lips trembled, but he persevered, fighting the sobs.

Kano looked at you, pleadingly. You bent down to his level and kissed his forehead. "Why are you so morose? You did so well today, dear," you consoled your student. It seemed as if this entire interaction with Nelyafinwe had terrified him.

You stood back up. "I am sorry to have offended you, my prince," you bowed to him without a trace of resentment in your voice. "I just want the best for my student." You looked down at Kanafinwe, who still held your gown in his tiny fists. "And I am certain that Kanafinwe will soon surpass me," you smiled at him. "I will live to see my dearest student become greater than any."

"You will always be better than me!" Kanafinwe hugged your legs and buried himself in your gown, allowing his tears to flow freely. "I don't want another tutor, Nelyo, please…let her be my tutor, please." You supported your young student and picked him up in your arms, wiping his tears away.

Even decades later, as the entire Valinor praised Kanafinwe for his talent, your student still called you the best, now your brother-in-law. Somehow, your fate was set to stay with Nelyafinwe, who once detested you. You didn't know when the love came, but it arrived, and neither of you could resist.

Your romance started later in the years, first as a friendship, then grew only deeper with your shared affection for Kano, who had now grown too big for both of you to baby.

Nelyo tried to get Tyelko to learn from you, but it was a failed venture when he had to drag his younger brother to you for the second month. That was the sign that the eldest Feanorian had to find another reason to meet with you. It led to a hurried confession next to a sulking Tyelko, one of the liveliest confessions in Valinor's history, especially when you both had to physically carry an uncontrollable Tyelko back home.

Your marriage to Nelyafinwe was beautiful and peaceful. You followed him to Formenos, to Tirion, and to the shores of Alqualonde. In your marriage, you only knew how to follow him. Even when your husband didn't have the courage to face you with his bloodied face, you cradled his face, wiped his tears, and sang him the song of peace. The wavering of your own voice didn't matter. Your screaming morals were shunned. You comforted Maitimo.

You would have followed him on the ships if it weren't for a tiny Idril clutching your gown. Your youngest student needed people around her, and her mother, Elenwe, needed help. So you stayed behind, watching him leave in the bloodied boats. You kissed him goodbye with a promise of a quick reunion.

And you waited to follow him. With Idril in your lap, you sang to her all the songs your husband loved. You could feel him still in your bond. But the ship never returned to get you. All that came was the whisper of smoke. They were gone. You couldn't fathom such an act of betrayal by Maitimo, even with your resentment.

Next to Turgon's host, you sought to find your beloved on the nether shores. Your anger did not vanish, it lived in your heart. You wanted to meet him and ask him about his abandonment of you.

But you never got the chance. You felt your heart stop in the freezing depths of Helcaraxe. Your body was dragged down by all the weight you had been carrying in your bags. The darkness pulled you closer to an unknown end. But you could see him now. His hair flowed effortlessly in the water, his eyes glimmered even in the dark, and he smiled at you. He was calling you. You reached your hand to him. 'Maitimo,' you called out to him.

"What do you mean she is not here?" Is she reborn?"" Maedhros' spirit trembled. The Halls of Mandos had always seemed like a distant beacon of hope the only reunion that he had imagined for him and you, but now they had become a void, a cold emptiness as if the Valar had forsaken them even in their death.

The Maia looked at him with eyes full of pity. "Your wife did not make it to Mandos' Halls. Her soul has been trapped in the depths of Helcaraxe." The words cut through his spirit like shards of ice, and he felt as if he was being consumed by a relentless storm.

He longed for a glimpse of you, for a touch, a word, something to reassure him that you were still there. He had been longing for ages. "Why can I not feel her? Our bond...it's not broken? Why did no one bring her back?" Maedhros demanded, his voice filled with a mix of desperation and anger

The Maia's voice was solemn. "Her fea did not depart her hroa. It is unaware of its death. The freezing depths of Helcaraxe prevent her body from decaying. Without even a sign of rot, the soul cannot leave. To the fea, the hroa is undamaged and, thus, still capable of holding it. Maybe there is another reason we do not know, but this is the best we can tell you."

For so long, you were trapped in those lifeless waters, alone and cold. Maedhros felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, as if he had failed to protect you, to keep you by his side. "Let me go. I will bring her back," he offered without hesitation, his voice unwavering. "My healing, my past, my present, my future, the laws of the Valar can all wait. I need to go to her. Please, let me go!"

But the Maia's response was crushing. "You cannot," they said, their tone unyielding. "No quendi can leave Valinor anymore. Your wife is doomed, like the rest. No one can force her to return."

"She did not do anything wrong!" Maedhros' voice rose with desperation, and he knelt in anguish, his spirit trembling. Tears may have eluded him, but his soul wept. "Please, bring her back. Let me go to her. She didn't harm anyone. She just wanted to be with me." Yet only silence met his pleas, and it echoed in the emptiness of Mandos.

In the depths of water surrounding you, you finally had him to yourself. You could sing for hours and Maitimo would still look at you lovingly. Urging you to sing in the solitude.

Your heart was at peace. Next to Maitimo, the world faded into oblivion.

#the silmarillion #tolkien elves #silmarillion x reader #noldor elves #maedhros #angst #asks #maedhros x reader #aaaaaaaaaaaaah #makalaure #maglor

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heyybaejjk · 9 months

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༏ᖫྀ ⋆ ࣪ human ao'nung hcs ! pt. 3

pairing: ao'nung x fem!reader

summary: human aonung hcs

warnings: none

Mans definitely is going for an ATAR course and for his HSC ‼️‼️

I feel like the main classes he chose are:

- Music

- Design & Tech

- Math Standard 2

- English Advanced (only because you prob do it)

- Marine Studies (cmon now fishlips)

- SLR, the only non-ATAR subject because it's more of a chill subject.

Hates math with passion, only chose it because you chose it.

If he isn't in one of your classes then he loves to leave class at least five minutes early to walk to your class and wait for you

Some teachers have caught him walking out, but it's the second term of school, they're already used to him doing this

Term 1: "Miss, what the fuck is that right behind you? Is that a spider?!" Ao'nung screams frantically, pointing behind the female teacher with his eyes widened and mouth gaped.

"What!? What is it!?" The teacher yells as she turns around to the white wall that faces her. An empty, blank wall painted with nothing. Confused, she turns back around and sees a tall figure run out the door.

Term 2: "Miss, there's a big ass fucking spider on your shoulder!" Ao'nung yells, a slender finger pointing to the teacher's shoulder. "Ao'nung, leave already," The teacher rolls her eyes as she was already used to his stupid tricks.

"Oh, okay." 🧍‍♀️

During the break, all people see is 👫

If you do food tech as one of your classes, bro's begging for you to save him some food that you made in class.

"I had theory instead of prac today, I'm sorry, Nung. I didn't make anything today, but I made lunch," you giggle as your boyfriend's heavy weight drops on your back, pulling you into a hug. His long ass arm wrapping around your shoulder. "That teacher of yours is a stank ass liar-"

A cough from the sideline erupts, causing you both to turn your heads. There, stood a mid-thirty-year-old man, tapping his foot aggressively, eyeing your boyfriend down. "What was that, Ao'nung?"

Let's say you got into a fight once...

You ate that shit up.

Having a fine ass man like him, people can't help but stare respectfully

Others.. not so much.

Others really can not take the hint, or even the answer no. Especially, and specifically, a girl in your class named Ray. Yes, the same girl from before. A few months after the incident of Ray texting your man, after multiple times blocking her, it seemed she didn't care after she made a new account. Her non-stop texts weren't harmful at all until she sent a rayraybae: I'm better than her in so many ways, just let me in your room and I can prove it ;) No doubt your man screenshotted it and sent it to you straight away! 🤣👏

The very next day, you rock up to her class and confront her, to which she just laughs in your face. Already prepared to hit, you put your hair into a tight ass fucking bun and tie your hood up, then proceeding to punch her square in the face. Turning into a whole fight where students walk in for class, only to whip out their phones to record.

Let's bffr, it's a high school fight. It either turns into a whole ass fucking brawl or a 1v5 or wtv. (I've seen it at my school personally or on Twitter so 🤞) For the sake of this, let's say no one jumps in.

Along the sideline, you can hear Ao'nung screaming "Yeah! Yeah! Get her ass!"

When you're finally pulled away by Ao'nung you both bolt out of the room and out the gates.

You both aren't big fans of skipping school, but today seemed like an exception.

this is so booty cheeks and so short, I'm so sorry 😭😭♥️♥️♥️ @yourstrulyyyyy

#avatar the way of water #aonung fanfiction #aonung #avatar twow #aonung fluff #aonung x reader #aonung x you #ao'nung

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pordmug · 1 month

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My friend suggested documenting my hsc work here, for context, I'm a year twelve ATAR student in Australia and I'm doing two major work subjects, Visual Arts, and Design and Technology. If I do, I would post mostly about my major works.

#When I'm finished my dnt major work I'm going to post it (its an animation)#art #hsc #ATAR #questions #design and technology #important

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thenocturnalscholar · 1 year

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i hate balancing chemical formulas. thats it thats the post

#why did i choose to do this #chemistry #year 11 chemistry #atar studyblr #hsc studyblr #studyblr #science #australian studyblr #high school studyblr #year 11 #high school #academia #chaotic academia #academia aesthetic #academic validation #atar student

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ren-studys · 2 years

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i can’t believe how close exams are.. like it’s so scary

not only is it the exams, but afterwards we’re just done school. like it’s unlikely we’ll ever go back, this place that we’ve been to for six years (13 years in my case - my primary school is next door to my high school) we won’t go back. like that’s just insane… exciting but also scary.

#studyblr #school #study notes #studyinspo #studyspiration #vce #australian studyblr #vce student #australian student #vce studyblr #vce studblr #year 12 #atar #atar studyblr #australian #aussie #study space #studystudystudy #study hard

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summer-grass · 6 months

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Hi all,

Honestly, I think this is the most regularly I've posted. The end of the exams are nearly in sight!

The above photos are of my frantic preparation for my Ancient History exam after realising I know less than half the syllabus—although I blame that on bad, very bad teaching this year. Also inconsistent teaching—my ancient history class has been fast becoming the real life equivalent of the Defence against the Dark Arts position at my school, with our teachers leaving after only a term or two.

What I've done in the past two days:

about 6 or 7 short answer questions

research for my ancient history exam

reading way too many academic articles for my brain to handle

If any other ATAR students are reading this, hopefully we can all end this exam season with a bang! Nearly there!

Thanks for reading, and I hope you're productive this week!

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actualbird · 5 months

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I guess I'll call myself 🔥 anon??? Idk lol. I changed my writing style with that first ask, but whatever. This is important, so who cares.

Anyway, I get it. I come from a family of artists and academics and teachers. My childhood dreams were to be a painter, a marine biologist, or someone super smart with a well-paying job. After that, in high school, my dream was just ATAR. Get a good ATAR score. Be good at learning and be told, "Yeah, you could go to university."

It's a year or so after that goal was set. I'm moving down to general classes and doing things I love more. My business cert is no longer there just to say "I have a certificate", it's because the teacher is one of the nicest teachers I've ever met and I like the class. Take IT because it's easy. Do human biology because you think the immune system is fun. I'm younger than you, sure, but one of the best things I've learned is exactly what that old saying says.

"Jack of all trades, master of none

but better than a master of one."

I'm having the time of my life. Will I end up getting higher education? Probably. Because I want to. Is it okay if I drop a course halfway through and never pick it up again? Is it okay if I have to ask teachers to slow it down?

Totally.

You don't have to be good at school to be good. I'm awful at it, and gifted kid burnout destroyed my life for a while. But I have friends and family who love me, and slowly, I'm learning to love myself, too.

I wish you all the best.

hi again fire!anon i

fully teared up reading this JKHSVJFHDKSDFKJSD

you might be younger but my gosh youre a whole lot wiser than i was when i was at uni age.

youre right and i agree with everything you said. i guess im just still stuck in that weird portion you mentioned of set academic/career goal -> set academic/career goal -> set academic/career goal that now that im in a place where i can start wanting things that are a bit more outside of the usual goals i had before. it's scary as fuck!!! i wish somebody could just tell me what to do instead!!! but i absolutely believe in the essence of doing things because you love them

while im not in class anymore, im a notorious hobby hopper. i learned how to crochet for funsies and i dont anymore but i still loved doing it, i have on and off durations of being obsessed with origami, i keep wanting to learn basic html for website building but keep putting it off because im worried im not smart enough to be able to handle it but honestly, when i have the time and motivation, i should just do it.

im like you in the sense that gifted kid burnout also ruined my life a bit, i think it uh....still is up til now, probably, judging by how badly 90% of my life's decisions are still made on the basis of whether or not i can get A Good Grade At Task HVSLBDFJSDJFK. but eventually, i hope it lessens its hold on me. i think one of the hardest things about going from student to adult was accepting that i cant Get A Good Grade At Life. absolutely mindboggling to me. can someone else please tell me what to do and if im doing good at it? please? i dont think i ever stopped being a student vying for validation. or rather, i havent stopped yet

itd be nice to stop. and just do shit cuz i like it. the idea sounds heavenly to me like a clear day. maybe things will be okay ;-;

i wish you all the best too, fire!anon. thank you <3

#life would be so much simpler if somebody told me what to want and how to get an A+ at it #but i guess itd also be a lot more miserable too. i have to learn to want on my own some day #fire!anon #asks

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