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imahinatjon · 5 months

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OK HI I'm BACk what ABOUT JOUNO AND TECCHOU WITH AN S/O WHO HAS ADHD LIKE ZONING OUT AND RANDOM STUFF like spontaneous noises, not sitting still, ZONING OUT, low attention span, etc. I MEANT TO WRITE THIS IN ALL CAps BUT I DIDNT. HAVE AGOOD DAY.

Before we start this, I do not have ADHD or at least we don't think I have.

Therefore I cannot say I fully understand ADHD, but I will try. (Like, I understand, but not to the fullest extent)

Also did these in the form of headcannons if that's good? Bulletpointed.

Jouno

• So, Jouno... appreciates you.

• He doesn't always understand, but even he gets that enthusiasm is needed in life sometimes - even if it's not technically enthusiasm.

• He won't notice if you start zoning out. He can't see you.

• But he does realise when you stopped making noise.

• Your voice is distracting and almost constant. You say almost anything and everything with little to no filter.

• But he likes your voice a hell of a lot more than the voices of... certain people.

• Jouno can't keep up.

• That's just it. He can't keep up.

• He can learn to understand what your saying, where you're coming from, your personality and behaviours, but that doesn't mean he has the energy to keep up.

• Still, your entertaining to him, he likes you, a lot. So he keeps his ear out for you.

• You rarely stay in one place for too long, buttt your also clumsy. Make a lot of simple, not super dangerous but occasionally concerning mistakes.

• Jouno, with ALL his love for you, thinks you need to be wrapped up in bubble wrap.

• It's for your own safety!

• ...he may or may not try it.

• But, in all seriousness. He does love every bit of you he has come to know. And coming to the rescue every now and then makes him feel like you really need him. (Not that he has issues with this, just saying that I think he'd like it if his s/o relied on him)

• He just wishes there weren't so many unfinished passion projects lying around.

• But he'll get over it because he loves you ♡

Tecchou

• Tecchou probably understands somewhat.

• You two have an almost perfect relationship.

• When he's not working Tecchou is practically attached to your hip.

• Which means you fall victim to his "cooking" often.

• And your always willing to try whatever he comes up with. Mostly that's because you haven't been paying much attention to what he's been putting in, your only indication that something is up is the fact that everything is the same colour.

• But you trust he won't poison you, so you take a spoonfull.

• You tell him it was nice, when really it wasn't, and remind yourself not to accept food from him again.

• You soon forget about it when the next meal comes around.

• "Sometimes I forget that your cooking is a biohazard..."

"...what?"

• Sometimes the two of you sit together doing nothing.

• It's nice. You were just sat on the chair, comfortable, away somewhere within your own head.

• He spotted you, and thought that you looked cute being so deep in thought that you had no real awareness of your surroundings.

• So, with the 'protection' excuse tucked away up his sleeve, he sat beside you and waited.

• Only to then find himself lost in thought with you.

• He can't help it! Being in such a calm, relaxing atmosphere with you - the ultimate comfort to him, he can't help but loose himself in the moment with you.

• What brings him back is when you start moving. A slight shake of the leg. Constant tap tap tapping, your knee bouncing up and down.

• You clearly got bored of wherever you were a bit ago, and had decided to stay with him, even though he could see you wanted to go and do something else.

• That's adorable - You trying so hard.

• Makes him want to try harder too.

• Oh! Perhaps you could cook with him!

• It will end in disaster. That's just a given. Doesn't matter if your a good cook or a bad cook there will be conflict.

• Nothing serious, and it causes no real issue, just a lot of mess that some poor soul is going to have to clean up later.

• He's so insistent on his way of "cooking" that he won't listen to you.

• And your so stubborn in 'trying something new' (aka following an actual recepie) that you both end up childishly fighting over the bowl.

• It's not serious, and neither of you are actually shouting, but a few bowls and ingredients fall over, and you do run around a lot.

• At least Jouno knows not to go in there - lest he face whatever mess the two of you plan on proudly presenting to him. He doesn't want it.

• So... your relationship isn't perfect, but it's almost there.

• You try and understand eachother, and you stick together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is this okay? 🤔

I did research into ADHD before writing this - and tried to recall what one of my relatives behaves like - as he has adhd.

But like I said, I don't have it.

Also Think I finally figured out how to spell these twos names.

#imagine #fanfic #headcanon #bungou stray dogs #x reader #anime #jouno x reader #tecchou x reader #bsd jouno #bsd tecchou

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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 5 months

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Okay, second post, this ones mostly about Feyre because honestly, as of chapter 3 I havent really noticed Tamlin being out of character and from what Ive heard his character assassination was supposed to happen very quickly. Idk, right now he just seems like the same guy but traumatized although I'll fully admit that I didnt care that much for him outside of the Feylin romance (which was pretty sweet but too boring for me) so maybe I just didnt pay enough attention to him to fully grasp his character

Feyre is frustrating to me right now because I dont think shes out of character either, right now shes also just the same woman but traumatized, but like, I already know the extent to which her character will be bent for the sake of Rhysand. In these first three chapters she literally thinks something along the lines of "What's there for me to do but sit at home and spend Tamlin's money" Tell me, what does she end up doing in the night court huh????

Another thing thats frustrating is that Feyre clearly has issues communicating her feelings and wants, I know because I also had issues with that, and instead of learning that very valuable skill of telling others about your inner world and trying to work on her relationships (with both Tamlin and with her sisters), shes just gonna end up with a guy who can read her mind so theres no need for her to challenge herself and grow in any way. Yay. One thing especially stuck out to me in this regard was her attituide towards wearing dresses. Feyre does not like wearing dresses, its not like she never got to wear them back at home even though she wanted to, she just doesnt like wearing them in her day-to-day life, but she feels like she has to because she thinks its what Tamlin wants and because she thinks that if she wears pants its gonna somehow signal to the citizens of the spring court that something is incredibly wrong. But again, she doesnt tell anyone this, she doesnt ask Tamlin if he can just explain to everyone that everything is fine and that Feyre just has an unconventional way of dressing, which he would probably be fine with if its still the same guy from the first book. And it doesnt even seem like Tamlin directly made any kind of comment to her about the dresses she wears, she just saw that he was happy when he saw her wear them, which couldve well been him being happy to see her in general but she doesnt even consider that

Theres also the fact that its very unclear what she wants/what her problem is. Now, this actually isnt something that bothers me that much on its own, Feyre is traumatized and lost, obviously she doesnt know exactly what she wants at this point beyond "the situation Im in sucks and makes me feels bad, I want to get out", I think what bothers me is mostly the knowledge that Tamlin is gonna get blamed for a lot of this stuff when its really not his fault.

And I do want to make it clear that I dont think hes doing a great job handling this situation, I know a lot of people in the acotar critical sphere find his actions understandable and justifiable from his perspective and thats true, but hes still doing a bad job handling Feyre's emotional state. Like, one of your beloved's main issues is that she feels horrible because she feels trapped at home, for the love of god just let her go outside on her own. Maybe send her to village thats far inland or close to the border to the mortal realm, surely those monsters are not gonna manage to come that far if youre all going on patrols to kill them as soon as possible. And even if they do, the people of any village are gonna bend over backwards in order to protect their capital c Cursebreaker, shes gonna be fine

But, to get back to my original point, even if Tamlin was a daemati or whatever like Rhys and could read her mind the way she needs it to be read, he would still not be able to figure out what exactly Feyre needs right now because she doesnt know it herself! I literally read all of her thoughts and I dont know! Does she want to help others and be responsible for a whole bunch of people because its what shes always known to do? Does she want to avoid resonsibility for now because she wants to recover from her traumatic childhood of having the responsibility of keeping her family alive on top of all the new UTM-trauma? Its hard to say and that makes sense for Feyre at this point in her life, but she cant just blame people for not understanding her when she doesnt properly understand herself and refuses tl verbalize her feelings

Anyway, thats it for today, hope you enjoyed this

#anti acomaf #anti sjm #anti feysand #feyre critical #tamlin critical #flames and darkness liveblog

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iamafanofcartoons · 1 year

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Rabbit aka PhonyMangaka Debunks Hbomberguy’s “RWBY is Disappointing Video” and explains why the Critics are wrong about RWBY. Part 2 of 2

Insert Monty Fight Here Spends a bit talking about how the animation and the writing of the show is set up between Monty, Miles, and Kerry.

Kind of hard to tell if he likes the general idea of it, because he's using an example of Ruby vs Roman and the Club thugs.

Seems positive

Alright so a problem he listed out was how disjointed the scene of the two teams getting the relics and "Running to live another day towards the cliffs"

But it just cuts to another fight were the teams have to engage with the Deathstalker and Nevermore.

And he got it very wrong

He claims it doesnt connect, but Ruby clearly says "make it back to the cliffs" and you can obviously see that's what they're going to do.

It's the deathstalker and the nevermore that are clearly chasing them that they are forced to fight. Just didnt pay attention?

"Character arcs tend to start and stop... Weiss was annoyed at Ruby being made a leader... During the test Weiss said she was going to be nicer."

I do agree with this somewhat.

The Weiss racism plot was mostly offscreen, and I would have liked for the friction between Ruby and Weiss to have lasted an extra episode, but I'm not too hung up on it.

However, this reading can be a bit surface level.

Yes, Weiss agreed to be nicer to Ruby however that was done bc SHE thought she'd be made leader bc she believes she is better than Ruby both bc of her age and her status as the heiress of the SDC.

So no, it makes perfect sense why she's annoyed, it's just dishonest of you to really paint that picture when all it takes is just watching episodes that aren't even 15 minutes long.

And another thing is. It's not that Prof Port told- her to just "stop it" as he puts it.

He basically dresses her down and shows her how childish and unreasonable she is.

Weiss does let her feeling's and headstrong way of thinking get in the way of her, but it's not like she WOULDN'T reconsider her ideals/values. This is the same- person that was okay with Blake being a former terrorist in the end despite the things that the White Fang did to her family and her social life growing up.

"All Weiss needed was a man in a position of authority to tell her off"

If Glynda did the same, the same thing happens??

Like yeah...

This is the same person that wanted to call the police and trusts them to do their jobs, of course Weiss listens to authorities and values their opinions moreso over her peers.

"Her character arc is about her dealing with her abusive and controlling father so it- comes across as gross that they would let this happen."

.......................

Are you seriously comparing Professor Port to her Father??

Is that what we're doing?

That makes literally 0 sense lol?

Miles and Kerry talk about how they view RWBY as cool kids and not just female- mcs.

And the reason why he brings up those clips is to basically... idk call them a hypocrite because they made jokes about Yang?

He mentions the time Miles tweeted the Yang vs Tifa fight and says "My money's on the hot one" and also Kerry saying "Yang is the happy joyful on Everything you want in a girl."

So basically using those two instances were they

1. Promote a Deathbattle video so they can get more views.

2. Have to explain who each character is on the team RWBY

Also please credit who you use for fact checking!

https://youtu.be/EmHM_0Mfe3g

That video was from @NerdCaliber from way back in 2013, not a bad interview and even if it was from way back then, i suggest giving it a like!

He now goes into Jaune and the Jaune arc. Which ok, once again I admit that a lot of people do have it's gripes with it. Gripes I can-

Very much understand.

If this volume was longer, and the episodes were too, I very much do believe that so many people wouldn't be so upset by it as they are.

The writing for Jaundice isn't bad either.

It's about a kid who gets bullied because he's weak but tries to deal with it on his own, despite the fact that he very much DOES need help.

We get to see his struggles and with the pep talk from Ruby and with him ACTUALLY standing up for himself in the end, it isn't as simple as "kill a monster that's threatening the bully and that's how you solve it"

As hbomberguy puts it.

It's

"You have to find the inner strength within yourself to stop being a doormat and stand your ground."

Jaune stands his ground, he gains that confidence, and he tells Cardin to never mess with his friends ever again.

He was determined and the facial expressions really hammered home to Cardin that Jaune isn't going to fold to him or his team anymore.

For the last time, I agree that it's weird to put it in the middle of an already short volume with very small run time.

Honestly RWBY SHOULD have had more to do in this Volume-

That I think could have been spent with Weiss's racism and her preconceived notions about the White Fang and those in it as well as just Faunus in general be explored in seeing how she deals with it.

That WOULD have been better and I admit to that fully.

"Penny and Sun just appear... Nothing you could have cut to establish these characters."

Tbcf, Their introduction is fine.

Sun hopping off of a boat that he illegally boarded?

Just Sun things.

Penny getting knocked over for standing in the middle of an alleyway?

Just Penny things

Like he said. it's the last two episodes.

They can be built upon more in the next few volumes.

It's like saying "Why is Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury are in the last episode.

Surely you couldn't have cut an episode or two to introduce them" those are ACTUAL side characters.

JNPR actually has importance over any of the tertiary cast.

Says things I agree with, like production being disjointed.

Don't really agree with the sentiment that the show isn't cohesive.

If anything, I feel like the volume is just too short. If CRWBY were to redo it today Most of the complaints would be nonexistent, obviously of course.

But that's what happens when you have more than when you first started out with.

"Lets not assume this is author self insert wish fulfillment... It's just really weird you picked Neptune... gets into love-triangles with female characters that you write... Just feels weird."

Like... Just say you think it's author self insert wish fulfillment.

That's obviously the picture you're painting.

You're literally not doing ANY amount of nuance to even dictate that you think differently.

The pussyfooting is just lame.

Like also implying Kerry is a creep because "Neptune hangs out with Yang" going back to that old interview were he calls Yang "anything everybody would want in a girl" with then a cut of him saying "she's 17".

Bro just stand your ground and call him a creep.

Because that's LITERALLY what you're trying to get at, at worse or Calling in his behavior as questionable at best.

Both of which, is so demented.

Considering it was Monty (the guy you're dedicating this video too btw) told them which character they'd voice.

Raises points about naturalistic exposition in regards to the prom and how it's all about prom (ignoring the B plot with Yang and Blake too I might add).

Major complaint though is that he feels like there's no plot going on... Which is the actual point?

The "plot" is being halted because Yang basically getting Blake to stop overextending herself with the White Fang and to chill out.

They're still KIDS, much like how Ozpin told Glynda.

They can have a moment where they're embroiled in small scale drama of love triangles and prom.

Besides, the end of the episode is still a thing, where the CCT is broken into and Ruby discovers a certain shadowy figure in that room.

Things are still happening.

The prom was a great excuse for the protagonists to chill for ONE night before a mission and the antagoinsts- to do some dastardly devious machinations.

Claims Ruby fell into the plot, ie Mount Glenn, but also conveniently ignoring the worldbuilding (the same thing he harps on about earlier in the video) that explains Elder Grimm and what happened to the people of the settlement.

And the narrative reasons is that it's an old decrepit settlement, so of course their would be sinkholes.

Though, it's moreso a flimsy defense so yeah I could see why he wouldn't like how that happens.

But it also bugs me that he never mentions what happens BEFORE Ruby fell.

I don't really see the need to really complain about "it has a working rail system?!?!?!"

I mean yeah?

We don't know how long they've been planning this sort of invasion, but with all the material they gathered and the helping hands around them.

It's not farfetched to think- They could get it working.

Especially since the railroads weren't really messed up.

It's just, a nothing complaint imo.

And it definitely is organic??

Like what's more natural than

"Hey uh theres a bunch of terrorists and Roman Torchwick getting on a train leading to Who knows where. How about we board it and try to stop them?"

I mean that's a pretty damn good reason to get on the train.

One thing I can say about hbomberguy.

He will praise the ever living fuck out of Monty and Shane's animation.

(deserved mind you).

But will leave no room- for Miles and Kerry to even BREATHE.

This man has his foot on both of their necks and just keeps applying pressure like, damn dude

"It's objectively an awful song."

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH THERE WILL BE NO CAFFEINE SLANDER AT ALL YOU VILE BEING!!

IT'S ONE OF THE BEST RWBY TRACKS AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR NEEDLESS MUDSLINGING!!!!!!

Also, if we REALLY wanna talk about side casts...

CFVY, depsite how fucking cool they are, are the literal definition of a side cast.

They came in, kicked ass and took names like fucking bosses.

They didn't need a whole biography before they came and what is it with people- mainly critics and youtubers, who believe every single person in the universe needs whole entire episodes and dialogues to understand every single character in existence.

Like damn maybe we should give Tock a backstory too

"Who is this guy, what are his-"

Bruh it's not THAT deep

"That's the story????"

Huh???

The... The story is that they "stopped" whatever plans that the White Fang and Roman have cooked up.

Like, this is all a set up for the end of Volume 3 where the complaints you're bringing up DO have consequences.

Because of the Grimm invasion- Atlas is allowed to bring in it's robots and even more of it's warships...

Know what happens next???

Exactly.

It's bread crumbs.

A domino effect.

Where things are leading up to the bigger picture.

"There is no build up for Velvet to put away her weapon at Coco's request bc-we haven't seen it".

No it's to keep the audience in suspense/garnering hype to what exactly Velvet's weapon could be. It's not supposed to be revealed just yet, but later on in the story.

It wasn't meant to be a joke or a play on OF a joke.

It's just a story beat/reveal.

"It doesn't feel right to speculate."

But spends a minute and a half speculating that Coco and Velvet were supposed to have bigger roles in the story because of how long and how much effort it took to rig her and fan submissions too.

Uhhh... Maybe that's just... How rigging- goes???

I'm pretty sure there were efforts similar that went into RWBY, JNPR, Sun and Neptune, Neo, etc.

Not everything has to be this big/large grandiose purpose you're trying to place on these characters.

And even if they were, ideas and plotlines DO get scrapped many times Through production, either because it doesn't fit, or because they wanted to do something else entirely.

But this is ALL speculation. You and me both are doing that.

He ends off this segment by saying that this was all production and execution angle and how the fights are great and everything else sucks and how it's mismanaged and poorly connected.

Even though I've gone through his "connections" and just found that he wasnt paying attention to most of the scenes and the dialouges is both funny and frustrating.

"Two full seasons of teething problems" yeah that's true.

I mean yeah lol, not gonna fight that there.

Are... We really comparing this too Jojo's??

Oh.. We are?? Aight then

And now we're comparing it to Cowboy Bebop.

just about the first robbery scene and characterization and things like that...

But... Have you ever considered that... maybe, just maybe, they were doing two different scene. If you're going to sit here and try to rag on- RWBY for "not understanding how the robbery scene works."

Then that sort of point can be used across every single piece of media that has a robbery scene in it. And even then you still were able to get basic things out of her "it's not much" and??

You still have about, 9- volumes worth of content to get to know more about her.

"It's all coincidence driven story."

There isn't just one way to write a story bomber. literally, if you want to watch Cowboy Bebop so much then go rewatch it.

These shows set out two different types of vibes.

Not- Everything is 1 to 1. Just a lot of nitpicks mainly.

Nothing really substantial is said here besides just ranting about Ruby's lack of characterization. Blank Slate, making a stab at her for liking books.

Like, I dunno man, it's just cumbersome at this point.

So remember when I said it's going to be a 2 parter. I lied.

I only got through 27 minutes today and I'm already tired of this video.

SO part 3 tomorrow and that should be the end.

Goodnight Night City!!

https://twitter.com/PhonyMangaka/status/1654286207021457410

#phonymangaka #rabbit on twitter #rwby is a good show #rwby is enjoyable #rwby is good #just give rwby a chance #all we're saying is give rwby a chance #give rwby a chance #but please give the fandom just this one thing

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biggirllifestyle · 2 years

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BitterSweet Goodbyes.

Summary: Prince Charming has a change of heart.

Pairing: Mentioned Bucky Barnes x OFC, Past Steve Rogers x OFC.

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: Panic Attacks, small Angst.

A/N: It took me a bit but I finally did it. This is harder than I thought.

Part 1 | Part 2

As you watched out the window as a slight drizzle descendent on the street below you couldn't help but think about how much your life has changed in the past few weeks. After Kate had exposed Steve she took drastic measures to keep him as far away from you as she could, to the extent that she urged you to change your number when his calls and texts didnt deter after a week had passed from the incident. You finally agreed after you had answered a call from an unknown number that had actually turned out to be Steve, after that, it was quiet and of course, that led you to lower your vigilance.

After much consideration, Kate and Yelena had decided to take a trip for their anniversary at first they had disagreed about going away Kate was concerned with you being alone after what had occurred but you had assured her that it had been almost a month since it happened and Steve hadn’t tried to contact you at all. At school, you rarely saw Steve mostly it was in between lectures as you walked across campus but you always ducked out of sight anytime he was anywhere close to noticing you it helped as well when you started hanging out with one of your classmates since paired you for an assignment.

James or as he liked to call himself Bucky ( “You have to give it to my mama in naming after one of the shittiest presidents we’ve ever had, but can’t really complain now can I doll?”) was a great fixture of your time as he distracted you from your own self wallowing, he was attentive to you in a way that you’ve never had before but after what happened with Steve you couldn’t help but be a little guarded.

Bucky, always the gentleman seemed to understand and gave you your space when you needed it. He never pushed you to tell him why you always hid the moment you caught sight of Steve in a crowd and gave you space when he would feel you tense up after long periods of physical contact, Bucky was everything that you deserved but because of the incident, you felt yourself holding back from moving forward with him and that just pissed you off.

You knew your good luck would run out, especially when your morning was going to shit. Bucky had left to see his mom and sisters back in Brooklyn and you were missing him terribly, your professor had sent out an email saying how he was moving up your final project forward since he would be going out of state, and that morning you had spilled coffee on your calculus notes which you’d have to copy all over again. Safe to say this morning was the shittiest morning you’ve ever had.

You weren’t really paying attention as the line moved forward, you’d tried making coffee at your apartment but you really didn't know how to work Kate’s stupid expensive machine so a trip to the coffee shop it was. Everything was going great and you felt yourself begin to relax as you ordered and moved to the waiting line.

A small “Hey” and touch at your elbow shattered that idea. There stood Steve Rogers looking like the world had chewed him up and spit him up many times over, he was sporting a beard that was immensely unkempt, and dark circles seemed to have taken residence under his eyes.

To put it bluntly, Steve looked like shit.

You stepped away from him, his hand falling limp when you avoided his touch you felt your body go hot and cold, after working so hard to avoid him you couldn’t help but curse for making yourself vulnerable and being caught earlier than you had hoped for.

“Steve.” You replied curtly, you crossed your arms across your chest trying so hard to keep your breathing leveled.

Steve looked at you with a hurt expression fidgeting in place as he realized that your only reaction to him was hostile.

“I just wanted to start by saying how sorry I am about what happened, I know that what I have to say means nothing to you but I really wanted to tell you that I wasn’t lying to you when I said that I had enjoyed…”

“Stop, just stop it” You took a step back from him scanning the shop trying to see what your best form of escape route was if you had to flee from him at some point, “I really don’t want to hear it okay, I get it you wanted to show off to your friends and say that you were able to bag, what was it that you said?”

Steve looked uncomfortable at your words, cringing as he saw tears welling up in your eyes.

“Oh right, you said that I was everyman's living nightmare and you were sacrificing yourself by going on a date with me.”

Steve looked sheepish looking around trying to see if you were being heard, your name was called and you took that chance to make your escape giving the barista an awkward smile and walking away. Heading towards the door you hoped that Steve would finally get the message and leave you be but, of course, you aren't that lucky.

“Look I understand that you want to disappear from the face of the earth,” Steve said as he followed you out the door, you tried hard not to make a quick getaway or possibly walk into traffic to save you from this conversation.

“But I need you to understand that I wasn't lying to you, I was at first but then I started to get to know you and I just couldn’t help but enjoy every second of it.” Steve reached for your hand but you scoffed and pulled away.

“Steve I need you to understand that what you did was vile and I don’t feel comfortable being around you right now, I can’t forgive you not right now and maybe not for a while but I need you to understand that I am disappointed and I need you to give me space.”

Steve looked disappointed a frown framing his face. He looked away his jaw clenching nodding at whatever talk he was giving himself.

“I get it.”

You didn’t answer him as you fidget with your phone, anxiously wanting to text Bucky but not wanting to seem too dependent after talking to him this morning. As if hearing your thoughts a text from Bucky came in and you couldn’t help but let a smile peek through as you read his message, you felt Steve’s stare but ignored it as you answered back with a warm feeling spreading through your chest.

“I heard you’re dating someone”

You couldn’t stop the flinch that Steve’s words caused, you knew that your and Bucky’s relationship wasn’t official and that you haven’t been very public with it so you couldn't help but be a little apprehensive about Steve knowing about Bucky.

“Are you spying on me?” You demanded. You tensed up as the worst scenario came to mind. What if the joke wasn’t over and Bucky was in on it, was this really what your life had come to where you were always going to question every relationship you have in fear that it wasn’t genuine?

Steve noticed that you were starting to hyperventilate so he walked you to a bench where he forced you to take deep breaths. Your mind was racing and you failed to listen to Steve until he was forcing your eyes with his. Guilt and pain plain as day stared back at you, the numb feeling was fading and you could feel the nip of cold from the bench and the warmth from Steve’s hands on yours as he knelt at your feet.

Steve removed his hands when he noticed your breathing normalized sitting down next to you making sure that he left a distance between you.

“I didn’t mean to make you panic, Bucky is friends with Sam and I heard him talk about you to him you can be reassured that he has nothing to do with that stupid game.”

“Oh.” His words gave you small comfort but you took it as is, you knew Sam had nothing to do with the bet so you knew that maybe he had nothing to do with what Steve had done but you couldn’t help how wary you were now.

“I think he’s a good guy, he’s always talking about his mom and sisters so you can be reassured that he was raised right.” Steve grimaced at that, you knew it had to do with his mom dying at such a young age and his dad being a military man that rarely showed love to him so you knew he was fighting his own inner demons.

“Thank you,” you said softly, you weren’t fighting him this time you were letting him hear your true feelings, “I know you didn’t have to but you trying to reassure me about Bucky shows that you know what you did affect me. I know you’re trying to show me and I’ve been fighting you but I need you to know that I am hurt and I am trying to heal.”

Steve nodded as silent tears ran down his face. He knew this was probably the end and he had blown his chance of being with someone who he could have been happy with but he knew that your forgiveness was much more important than anything else.

“Maybe in the future when we’re both mature we can be friends again and build something new and strong.”

You stood legs shaky turning to Steve who wouldn’t look up at you.

“Goodbye, Steve.”

Taking a deep breath you walked away.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x oc #pluss size #plus size ofc #bucky barnes x reader #plus size oc #original work #steve rodgers x reader #chris evans #sebastian stan #steve rogers #steve rodgers imagine #bucky fanfic #james buchanan barnes

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godza · 5 months

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justin i need to hear your ag takes now

oh my god yes. i was just about to make a post. ill say a few opinions because they are all scattered.

problem one: from the founding of ag to 2014, everything was perfect. it all went downhill when the historical dolls were rebranded to beforever. all historical accuracy went out the window to cater to an even younger audience. all the playsets turned to plastic, there used to be wooden accessories! metal even! now its all cheap plastic, hunks going for hundreds of dollars. quality of items went down, as well as quality of stories. all the realism in the historical settings were wiped to have colorful smiles and happy colors. yes, some happiness is nice, but im still mad about kits redesign, wheres her flour sack dress! that was not made out of a flour sack!

problem two: girls of the year. they are running out of ideas! a second gymnast, really? im tired of the endless roulette of white girls! none of these girls stand out! they all have the same hobbies, and appeal to the same declining demographic of rich white girls. understandable, since the prices have ballooned so much people who arent rich arent buying them these days. each goty seems no different from the last. the current goty is both a gymnast and a horse girl. that is a desperate bid to tackle demographics. theyve done those a million times, the gymnast was mckenna back in 2012? and horses twice with nikki and sage. a horse does sell well, i always wanted a horse, but they really need to do something else. i honestly havent been paying much attention to recent gotys, but corinne and kavi were fantastic! the asian american representartion was great! but now the year after them, we are back to a white gymnast horse girl. im not privy to their sales, but i wish there were more diverse characters. but since the audience is mostly white rich moms who got mad at one of the characters having lesbian aunts, im not surprised they keep making them. i just want there to be more diversity!

id write more but my phone lags really really badly when using tumblr for too long. i have so many thoughts i didnt even get to truly me dolls but i dont have much to say about them honestly theyre fine

i was very obsessed with ag as a child, id spend hours looking through the catalogues at the pretty merchandise. i also followed their other endeavors like the self help and craft books. i was a fan in elementary school, 2010-2016 so that influences my opinions bc idgaf abt anything outside of that time frame

my fave dolls: kit (i have her! shes in just a coat since all my clothes are put away), julie, addy, rebecca (her collections the prettiest), nellie (shes the prettiest. also gwen but theyre identical with pretty hair), cecile and marie-grace, kanani, chrissa, mia, and LANIE. im so mad i was too young for lanie shes always been my favorite. faves are also heavily influenced by their books, lanies books are really comforting to me. i wanted to be her so bad as a kid! okay im sleepy i worked myself up lol. thank you for asking i love talking about it

#ask

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alcorian · 2 years

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can people with dyscalculia help? im 18, autistic, and trying to figure out if i have it. it would be really nice if some people who know they have it could read this and give their opinion on whether i should try to get evaluated.

i’ve always hated math and struggled with it, and yet i was in advanced classes in middle school..... which i HATED. then, in high school, i got mistakenly put in the intermediate class for kids who struggle with math, and saw...... little to no change in how challenging it was. i did get bored with how slowly we were introduced to concepts, but my ability to complete the homework in a timely manner never improved. and i tend to do math slower than my peers--i even requested a time extension on my ACT because i finished all the other sections with great scores every time, but could only get like halfway through the math section at best. the one time i remember finishing a test first in class, i was proud but surprised. but looking back i think that test had a lot of questions about the concepts we were being taught rather than arithmetic, which also surprised me because in my experience math tests are mostly solving problems, not answering questions about math concepts. there have also been times that i’ve finished my classwork before anyone else, but also looking back this usually happened because i was working while the teacher was talking instead of taking notes. (my thoughts are very very fast and unfortunately my teacher does not talk as fast as my thoughts, so in pretty much all my classes, i just end up working ahead while listening to the lecture so i can pay attention and not get distracted)

i understand the abstract concepts behind math just fine, and even like them, but i kind of struggle with it at the same time. i do things like addition slowly and multiple times to make sure i got it right, sometimes counting on my fingers. i cannot memorize my times tables, ive completely given up on that. i still count on my fingers at 18, which i didnt realize wasnt normal because im completely unobservant. i hate mental math and calculators are my saving grace. i dont trust myself to do mental math correctly. i struggle to hold numbers in my head, especially long strings like phone numbers or addresses, which is part of what makes mental math so hard for me (and thats why i use my fingers or write it down). i forget things like phone numbers instantly. im not very good at reading analog clocks, but that might be because we’re moving more towards digital clocks everywhere. i also heard that dyscalculia can be associated with difficulty telling right from left, and thats a really embarrassing thing ive always struggled with--i need to hold up my hands to remember (left hand makes an L) and if i cant do that i have to imagine writing something and hope im imagining the correct hand doing the writing, lol.

but despite all this-- i feel like maybe i dont have it. maybe im just looking for an excuse to explain why i suck so much at math. theres also the possibility that im just overly anxious about getting a wrong answer and thats why i do everything so slowly and count on my fingers and stuff--so i can be sure im not getting it wrong. i do understand how numbers correlate to amounts, and its not like im totally incapable of mental math. i can do it, i just struggle with it, especially if i have to hold a number in my head for any reason. like, while writing this post i went and did basic multiplication problems in my head (from a website) and got hung up on 7 x 6. and then i got it wrong. this is the part where i’d normally make excuses like “oh im tired, oh its the end of summer so i havent practiced,” but honestly, im pretty sure most people my age should be able to do simple multiplication like that no matter the time of year. so. i dunno. also, i was able to get the other problems correct, but im pretty sure i was taking longer to do them than an 18 year old should. and i was counting on my fingers again.

and like. i think i like math in theory. algebra looks logical and satisfying, and it IS, except when i have to actually divide, add, and subtract, then i can practically feel my brain beginning to overheat like an overworked computer.

moving things from one side to the other to isolate a variable? yes. good shit.

havint to do subtraction to get there? now its not so fun. i think this is the part that actually gives me a headache. i never really thought about which part of algebra was frustrating me, but now that i know dyscalculia is a thing, im starting to think about the arithmetic vs the abstract concept behind it.

anyways, if i have dyscalculia its probably more mild seeing as i can still do mental math and i can still do arithmetic, its just unreasonably hard for me for no discernable reason.

#dyscalculia #autism #learning disability #alv posts

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 2 years

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i wonder how exactly do people manage to get diagnosis? i'm suspecting i might have high-functioning depression, because in the past month all i do is sleep and eat and not shower for... days. i only shower when i feel very greasy. changing into proper clothes feels like a bother, so i never went out to get food, and rely on online delivery instead. seeing how much money i wasted bc i get deliveries instead of walking to food stalls is kinda alarming, but i'm aware that the other alternative is me not even eating at all. i only go to my campus like... 3x a week? i can manage to appear normal and feel a bit normal when with my friends, but my thesis is also pretty stressful. idk what i'm trying to convey but basically at campus i appear normal (except maybe my slow progress at thesis), but when i'm back at my dorms i become this... very passive person.

i'm seeing a therapist, mainly bc back when my thesis first started, i got so overwhelmed i had passive suicidal thoughts. but i find myself not being able to be honest abt the extent of my struggles. i'm very embarrassed to admit that i've been having difficulty with hygiene. my therapist gives off a mom vibe, so i think i'm scared to be judged for my lack of hygiene... not showering for days, not even changing my clothes or underwear, not brushing my teeth, not cleaning my living space and letting ants surround leftover food... so i always made myself presentable during session. idk, seeing as the session is in-person, i dont think she'd take it well if she know someone who didnt bathe for days entered her clean room. but me pretending that everything is okay makes her think im just having normal thesis struggles, which sucks. but im also scared to be honest abt my hygiene issues.

another thing is my social anxiety. its actually so bad that i cant go out of my dorm room without making sure there arent anyone outside. im not acquainted with anyone in the dorm, i dont even know their names or how they look. but im also scared to tell my therapist abt this??? im scared she will tell me to make friends to overcome my anxiety??? which is scary??? i feel self conscious bc what if someone has been paying attention to how i barely ever leave my room or that they never hear any showering sounds from me??? idk its scary. im pretty sure i have social anxiety, but my therapist has managed to make me open up and im not super quiet during sessions and can behave mostly like myself so i unconsciously put on a mask that always makes me be in denial abt my issues (in this case, pretending i have proper social skills, instead of admittinh i shrivel in fear when put in new social situations)

my thesis is also very much in bad state but instead of telling my therapist that my advisor thinks i havent been taking the thesis seriously (which hurts, bc i do worry abt its progress, even if it looks like im not making proper progress), i tell her that my worries arent proportional to the reality (bc my catastrophizing mind thought i would need to redo everything, while the reality is i only got told to make changes).

tldr im scared to be honest to my therapist bc of internalized shame and all that, even tho thats the reason i decided to pursue therapy? but also its scaryyy. esp the hygiene part. ppl around me are the clean types who hates messy stuff so i think it exacerbates the shame. esp bc i dont just have a messy room, but also havent been showering for days

Hi anon,

First of all I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. Please know you're not alone. I admit that I also struggle with hygiene in a very similar way as well as consistently eating takeout, and I have diagnosed depression. It sounds like you have some big and intimidating responsibilities right now, and that's perhaps feeding into your depressive symptoms. You feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, and lost.

I understand the resistance to open up to your therapist about things that you have internalized shame about. Please just know that one of the main purposes of a therapist is to not make you feel judged or ridiculed, and any therapist who does do this doesn't deserve their position because it's damaging to a client. That is the last thing you need right now.

I can definitely relate to feeling judged by your therapist solely out of internalized shame alone and not any sort of cues on their end. In my experience, every time I did decide to open up about the thing I was ashamed about, it always ended up going much better than I anticipated. That being said, if you are picking up on cues from your therapist that makes you feel like she would judge you for opening up about this, then this therapist may not be a good fit for you. You deserve a therapist that doesn't make you feel judged.

I recognize that it can be an intimidating hurdle to decide to talk about these uncomfortable subjects with your therapist. But please consider that once you do choose to talk about it, your therapist can give you tools and direction to figure out how to manage both your depression and your social anxiety. Ultimately, it's important to take your time with this - don't feel pressured necessarily into opening up to your therapist, do so when you feel ready, but just consider the fact that you deserve help.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

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malachiexists13 · 2 years

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After finishing Mitsuhide's route for the second time, I decided to try and play Kenshin's. Which I started yesterday. I made this decision because Kenshin seems like an interesting character and he's probably one that even after two years of playing the game, I still know barely anything about. Like I know that he's the opposite of Chevalier in which when he falls in love with MC, he becomes more gentle. I know somewhat about him having a pet bunny. And I know the stupid reasons that historians assumed he hates women and came up with that theory that he was a woman. I also understand that Kenshin is described as yandere.. But if I could survive Mitsuhide's romantic route, I can survive Kenshin.

Who the fuck am I kidding. I made an entire post complaining about it.

But that's as far as my knowledge goes. Well, I also know that he has trauma or something and that he randomly assaults his employees as stated by Sasuke on more than one occasion but whatever. I can't remember what I thought of Kenshin back in 2018 when I first downloaded the game. I honestly don't even know if I acknowledged Kenshin back then. All I remember is the part in the prologue where Mai saves Nobunaga and then the part in chapter 1 of Nobunaga's route where he tries to use Mai as a cup. Dont- dont ask.

But after redownloading the game two years later? I still didnt care about Kenshin lol- It wasnt until I discovered the fandom side of things that I really started to pay attention to him. And the more I saw, the more intrigued I got. So now, here I am, playing Kenshin's route. I only started it yesterday so I cant say much but.. My opinion of him has already changed multiple times. And I dont know if thats a good sign since my opinions of the others remained mostly consistent til later on-?

Currently what I've noticed is that 1.) Kenshin does not seem to hate women. He was just raised on misconceptions and doesn't seem to have an interest in romance. Which- fair. And 2.) Kenshin reminds me of Mitsuhide in an odd way? As in the fact that he's telling Mai to live her life how she wants, to not let others dictate how she lives. He tells her to be herself. Not the whole he constantly teases her for his own amusement and for a reaction and makes her want to scream. Not that at all, I dont even know if Kenshin has a sense of humor. Leaning towards no. But, what he said is very similar to what Mitsuhide said in his route, except it was later on. Around the undercover mission part. Kenshin literally says this shit in chapter two, so mans is movin' a lil fast but thats alright.

Thats at least my current opinion. Kenshin seems to put up a front that he enjoys battle and bloodshed, but deep down he feels a sense of duty to protect others. Even if he doesn't acknowledge it himself, thats what Im noticing and thats the direction my brain went in. Which I guess adds up to the whole "he's secretly gentle" ending? Idk. But I currently have no problems with Kenshin's route. I actually find him to be a bit amusing rather than scary or anything negative. Barely one chapter in and I was already laughing at how stupid he can be.

Im not sure if I'll make another post like this as I play more. Or maybe I'll make an entire post explaining my opinion once I finish his route? Dunno yet.

#ikemen series #cybird ikemen #ikemen sengoku #ikesen #kenshin uesugi #ikesen kenshin

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fuckandfable · 7 months

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Why do I live life so detailed? 🤔

does our pace in life determine what details we pay attention too and what ones we do not?

is our mental health crisis due to the lack of knowledge one has about oneself?

or is it due to the complete lack of understanding we have for the human mind. is everything just a really good observation by trained human eyes?

what about spiritual details? is it hard for some people to believe that the spirit is what keeps us alive? more so than anything? I can see my spirit and it looks very much like the higher image that I have created of myself in my mind. Put together by random life experiences and feelings, thoughts all glued with ideology.

how do we pick and choose what is real? who studies how we behave? who watches our habits? do you think it is odd that the government regulates everything that kills humans? like tobacco and alcohol mostly. but I find it can present a number of rabbit holes for me to drop down. I love me some rabbit holes. It's like using your imagination all over again. I love improving in my rants. Really eccentric thinking.

I dont ever think I could write a movie though. My bits are short and impromptu. if I forced myself to think of an entire movie script I think I would die. Wow talk about writers deserve more money. LOL what stress they have. Nah, I want to remain free writing and free thinking while I can.

I consider a tray full of cookies and some weed foreplay and maybe this is why I live life so detailed. so wild. so deeply. I'm having flashbacks of my past life as a delicate, renaissance woman, one with very pale skin, and I hated the king. I hid in the spiraling brick stairs, wondering if I were to ever find something that could match me if life would zero out on me?

and you see-

that's a problem with me. well, because-

I always want to think of myself as someone impossible to match, because that is my go to comfort thought when I am feeling rejected. And I really believe this now that I have been carving it in the caves of my mind like hieroglyphics.

what if I'm actually abusing my feelings? what if I have never experienced anything truly detrimental to my psyche or emotions? these are the things I am terrified of. I don't want to feel spoiled in my emotions. I am afraid to love sometimes.

I was always confused how people could believe so deeply in go and in heaven, yet they are almost always afraid to die. Me? I am afraid of life. And it is something in my mind I rarely speak of. I can easily look at the enduring side of things. It makes me angry because I have learned enough of life to understand, or compute the questions I still have, or fears that hide within me. No one wants to learn the hard way.

--- so who is making it hard for us? anything that doesn't kill us, kills us slowly. you can see it in our thought patterns and the way we hold onto something so unimportant. we hold onto things and let it kill us, because it makes us feel something in a world that is numb.

we always did seemed to be most awake after death is involved. in any aspect. war is a good example. civilians have no fucking clue or give the slightest fuck what the military does to the mind. they are just asleep in their beds peacefully. sick. we didnt care about the severity year genocide in Israel until death was plastered all over the news. fuck dude. why is the media death hungry?

I bet any seasoned news watcher would tell my seven year old he shouldn't be playing games that involve death, but be perfectly okay to counteroffer with watching the news. but what about the modern day news watchers? do you think that they are faired that we will lose faith in the news? The newer the generation, the less the faith? how did we get here? LOL

I have been regulating the information my boys are receiving on their devices. As I think it should be. But then again, if we hid the information, how would they react to seeing it casually night after night on the evening news as they age? does there brain act in disgust and astonishment? Or if they were aware of death early, would it act in a more "shoulder shrugging" passive way? Now? death is completely normal. They fucking made a five nights at Freddie's and they made it PG 13. Kids are playing with murderous, animatronics and it's seems to be completely acceptable by society. I realized this when they started coming out with cool tees and stuffed animal pals of the killing machines. is this how capitalism works? haha- no seriously---

where is this invisible playbook for humans?

do you think our constitution is interpreted the same way we interpret the Bible because of it's age and word choices and meaning, and their ideology at the time it was written? Has anyone ever thought of this? like I'm impressed by this question, and I would consider it a very honest question. it's two thousand and twenty three. can it be misinterpreted with the modern advances in our ideology as an existing race? How could they have possibly planned or accounted for our intellectual advancements?

does it really stay the same? is this why history keeps repeating itself too?

My last cigarette of the night has been well enjoyed. I thought about a lot today. I look forward to thanksgiving and the break that comes with it.

You know-

Where I get to teach them the death of all the Indians and how we gathered together and killed a big turkey and wiped the blood off our hands and hand shook the terror away.

Okay I’m done. 🤘✨🕊️😆

-x

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clanoffelidae · 2 years

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personal, but overall positive! just under a read more bc i have chronic 'cant shut up disease' lol, just about how learning that i have adhd has explained so much and where i am right now on my path to healing from it all

a big part of my life recently has been learning to accept that i dont have much to show for my time

that so many of my friends are doing things and have all these wonderful crafts and skills to show for it

and i have nothing

i have my voice, i have my love for them and encouragement, but i dont have much to hold up next to their work and say 'see, i can make things too!'

because i havent made much

and thats perfectly fine! no one HAS to make things. so long as youre content, thats all that matters

but it can be upsetting because i WANT to make things

i WANT to be able to hold up what ive done next to my friends stuff and say ive made my own things, just like them

ive always wanted to make things, and i still do

but lately ive been having to come to terms with the fact that i havent, and that thats okay

because im still healing

because i went my whole life being praised for being clever and smart and advanced, for getting good grades and earning outstanding scholarships based solely on my academic abilities

and then crying because i couldnt focus on the material for the exam i had in half an hour and that no matter how much i physically forced myself to pay attention to it and tried to read it out loud to myself my brain was refusing to process the information and it was slipping through my fingers like sand

and dealing with this for years, never understanding how everyone else could just hang out and study regularly and i always had to beat my brain black and blue to get it to focus long enough to learn a single thing, thinking it was all my fault because clearly the problem was an inherent flaw in my personality and i was just a lazy and no good person who was immature and would never grow up and that i guess i didnt care because everyone was saying that if i cared id be working on it and i thought i cared an awful lot but they cant all be wrong so i guess i dont actually care about anything because nothing else makes sense...

that i was constantly running on pure adrenaline because that was the only way i was able to accomplish ANYTHING

there was no 'work on it slowly over time'

i'd be spaced out daydreaming, or listening to music while pacing the halls up and down and up and down and up and down for literal hours, from the moment i got off classes to a short break for dinner to right back to it until i forced myself to go to bed

just walking and walking and pacing and pacing and listening to music and daydreaming bc that was the only thing my brain was happy with

and looking back now, my god, i was acting like a tiger whose entire enclosure is a small concrete box three times its body length and so all it can do is pace back and forth and back and forth and back and forth

and by the time i graduated college i was so broken the mere thought of more schooling filled me with sheer dread, where i was so tired and worn down i barely even understood what i was doing anymore, i didnt want anyone to explain the 'why' or the 'how' of what it was they wanted me to do, i just wanted them to tell me what to do and leave me alone because even that was so close to more than i could handle

i couldnt take care of myself and had to be hassled at every turn to accomplish things i NEEDED to do, because they were hard and i couldnt do them until i was practically yelled at

and the thing is that im still doing that

not to the same extent, god no. i actually manage to keep relatively on top of my chores now, ive gotten into the routine of brushing my teeth every day properly, making sure i take a shower and moisturize (to be fair thats mostly because my hands are dry as shit bc i work in a lab lol, so they need lotioning after my shower), taking my meds, forcing myself to always eat SOMETHING at every meal time even if i cant manage what i 'should' eat, and ive started cooking again

not much, and its rare that i even extend my reach from 'grilled cheese' to 'boxed foods that require like 20-30 minutes instead of 5', but im starting to make food again and feed myself properly instead of either buying premade meals or just hoping i dont drop dead from whatever im hastily scarfing down with no thought to the nutritional value of it

im working on getting medicated and slowly learning how to be a person again after crashing myself so hard i think the only reason i didnt contemplate something more extreme is because i nearly died in 2019 and will never take one moment for granted

but my primary free time activity is still pacing and listening to music, lost in my own head and wearing a path into my apartment's floor

(hey im getting my steps in lol)

but i understand why now, and i understand why it can be so hard for me to pull myself away from that and make myself do other things

(if i were an ancient being i think i would be the one who walks endlessly without rest while softly singing a neverending song)

and that its not my fault, its not something wrong with me as a person in terms of my own personality or maturity or how hard im trying, its not something i can really control

and that part of learning how to heal from the damage its caused me is learning how to forgive myself for it

and so no i dont have much to show for my time, no i dont have many hobbies or little crafts to show for how productive i am and all my thoughts and all the wonderful little things i can and want to make

im too busy healing and remembering what its like to be alive

if i get one or two little things done here and there over the course of a few months that i can hold up and say 'look!!! i made something!!!' then thats wonderful, if not, if i come out those months with nothing to show for it and all i can say is 'i fed myself and brushed my teeth and went to bed on time and did my chores' then by god that is so much more than i wouldve been able to say a year and a half ago

no im not much of a 'content creator', even if i have so many ideas and want to make so many things that i want to share with so many people

and thats okay

because ive got something else that needs my time and energy right now

edit: want to clarify that by 'not something i can control' i mean that while i can find tricks and ways to make things easier to work WITH my adhd rather than against it i cant help having it and i cant help the fact that my brain is now wired differently because of it and that i cant do things in the same way as everyone else as a result

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belong-togetherr · 2 years

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Episode 17: White Past: Hidden Ambition

At the end of my previous post talking about episode 16, I mentioned that we first get a look into the darker side of Naruto. In the tags I mentioned that during the moment of Naruto claiming he is going to kill Haku, we can get in insight of what Naruto would have been like as the antagonist. However, this episode reminds us that Naruto is the protagonist, and though he has suffered due to other people, he still tries to be the better person. He keeps trying to be kind, even though he could have easily turned cruel. We see this very soon into this episode, when Haku's mask falls off and Naruto recognizes Haku's face from the time in the woods. The kyuubi chakra disappears, and he struggles in his conflict of emotions as he holds his fist in front of Haku's face.

Haku is showing the dark side of being a ninja, that you have to be willing to kill even if you don't have the desire to. Haku is confused why Naruto stopped attacking, asking, "Why stop? Even though I killed your dear friend, you can't kill me?"

There's two things happening here. Haku, who is shown to be kind with no desire to kill but is put into the situation that he must, to protect the person most important to him (and defend that person's dream) is now struggling with the fact that he has killed and confused how Naruto hasn't yet. Whereas Naruto is conflicted between his desire of revenge and his understanding of the kindness of Haku who only did what he thought he had to do.

So, Naruto still punches Haku enough to knock him down. He is still upset about Sasuke, but now that he realizes who the person is, he is struggling with the thought of killing him. He doesn't want to be the bad person that everyone thought he was (he doesn't want to be the demon fox that killed people).

Again, Haku is confused that Naruto is acting the same way as he did, when it comes to protecting the person they care about. If Haku didn't want to kill, and was pushed to, then why is Naruto not reacting the same way as him in the same situation? He is aware that Naruto is also kind like him, but they're still different. So he asks, "Wasn't he someone special to you?" And then we get the flash back of the woods and Haku saying, "Is there someone special in your life?" Then to another flashback of Haku saying, "I want to protect someone special to me. I want to make that person's dream a reality... That's my dream." These are moments Naruto is remembering.

Haku's conclusion is that, of course Sasuke was important to Naruto, Naruto is only pitying him. So he tries to talk Naruto into killing him.

We then get Haku's background. Where he explains that he use to have other special people in his life, his parents. But only now he has Zabuza, who saved him and cared for him. Yes, he used him, but he was fine with that because he was needed. Zabuza became Haku's special person in this way. I think this speech is important for Naruto's character development, especially when it comes to Sasuke later on. I think he believes (and is correct) that he becomes (and already is) a special person to Sasuke (his one and only), so therefore Sasuke could live a happy life like Haku if he could make Sasuke feel needed. Of course, we see that, though Sasuke does become happy in the village and being close with Naruto, he starts to feel guilty for forgetting about his family and not seeking revenge and, of course, he starts feeling weak as he watches Naruto become stronger so much faster than him. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I feel like this speech really sets in Naruto's mind that if he can become a special person to Sasuke, then Sasuke can be happy even if he has no one else.

Also, during this speech, Naruto becomes aware to the probability of Sasuke's suffering due to being apart of the Uchiha clan which have a kekkei genkai. I mean, we know from future episodes that Naruto was aware that Sasuke was alone and his family was gone and he wished he reached out to him. Well, as Haku points out in this speech, "I'm sure that boy [Sasuke] went through so much suffering as well." We then see Naruto looking back at Sasuke with a very concerned look on his face. Later on we see more of Naruto really thinking about the suffering Sasuke went through at the loss of his family.

We see how in Naruto's mind, later on in Shippuden, how this speech probably influenced him to relate better with Sasuke's suffering. Strictly, the part of what it feels like to both lose your family and to kill a family member. (Naruto could relate to Sasuke's pain of loneliness, rejection, and desire for revenge (etc.).)

We see Haku sharing how his father killed his mother and tried to kill him, and to save himself he had killed his father. This almost parallels Sasuke's past, which Naruto knows of (in the future). Someone close to Sasuke, his brother, killed his family and threatened Sasuke's life. Which led Sasuke later on to kill Itachi, and instead of feeling a sense of relief, he was only in more pain. Like Haku, who shows remorse at killing his own father, even at the expensive of saving his life. He also brings up the loneliness, that Sasuke also endures later on, "And then knew that it was the most painful thing. That I [Haku]… that my existence didn't matter to anyone else in the world." Which is also something Naruto can relate to, growing up in the environment he did.

Plus, the important line that Haku says, which also got engrained within Naruto, "If someone comes along and accepts you for who you are, no one could be more important to you than that person." Besides this line influencing how Naruto then thinks about Sasuke (especially since Sasuke clearly gave up his dreams for Naruto's life, which Naruto understood... which now allows Naruto to understand that Sasuke thinks of him as his most important person), we can also see it applying to Sasuke since we know his insight (thanks to the future stuffs lmao). Sasuke accepts Naruto as the messy prankster he was way before Naruto became Konoha's hero, even before they got put on the same team together. Meaning, he accepted the troublesome (and weak) Naruto before anyone else, even before Iruka was able to change his mind and his actions towards Naruto.

#long post #i hope this made sense #Naruto really learns the lessons from others while also teaching them to be better as well #i didnt think i would have much to say on this episode but i couldnt help but to notice these things #ive always wanted to talk about the stuff ive noticed while watching Naruto but never had anyone in my life who really cared like i did #Im mostly focusing on Naruto and Sasuke mainly because they're my favorite characters #and their relationship is *chefs kiss*#but also because they are the two characters that kishi also payed the most attention to #theres a lot of stuff i didnt notice before #all the many times ive watched the show (some as I was a kid)#I think majoring in english and being a writer and taking classes to better understand storytelling and so on #helped #nothing in a (good) story is mentioned for #everything is meaningful #including body language that the author takes time to add in whether in drawing or with words #also just saying that kid me thought Naruto and Sasuke were in love even before I even knew of what being gay was #even before i knew that the world i lived in looked down on same sex couples #i just knew that they loved each other #and perhaps they would have been together if homophobia didnt exist in our world #idk #(also not saying Naruto is gay he could be bi idk)#but Sasuke is for sure not into girls (im sorri he gay)#although Sasuke also doesnt show interest in other guys either so really Sasuke is only interested in Naruto #sdfbksdbfk #but im not trying to go against any headcannons #just rambling !#belong-togetherr rewatches naruto #naruto #sasuke #naruto episode 17

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purplekiwis · 3 years

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Hiiii 💖 I love your writing and I was wondering if you would ever consider writing something about H dating a plus sized model or something along those lines. It makes me sad that everyone here describes their characters as 'much smaller than H' or mention their size difference in a way that makes it look like H is so much bigger because that's not relatable to all of us 😔

hi babygirl 💞 as someone who is chubby as well, I understand the struggle. i know there are some great plus size Y/N stories out there (unfortunantly i don't remember the authors or the titles rn, but if anyone knows any i would love to share) but your ask actually inspired me and i wrote a little something something, which is not that great but i'm gonna post it for you anyway.

here is a very small blurb of CEO Harry having v big crush on his brand-new employee Y/N.

Harry is going insane.

And it’s all her fault.

He doesn’t know what it is about her.

In the least asshole-y way of saying it, she doesn't fit with his usual standards. No, not even close. From his younger years up until this point in his life, Harry has consistently gone for conventionally attractive, usually on the skinnier side, type girls in terms of who he wanted to date or fool around with. Mostly because dating such-like women went straight to his ego. There was nothing quite like walking into a room accompanied by yet another Karlie Kloss lookalike and watching as all the other men began to drool like starving beasts over what was his. He got off on it - the greedy eyes, the shameless glances, that were usually followed by indiscreet pats on his back that aimed to let him know he had it good, as if he didn’t know that already.

It made him feel great about himself – successful in a way. He was more than glad to let everyone in on the fact that he had the perfect life. The perfect business, the perfect car, the perfect girlfriends.

So, when did that stop being enough to make him happy?

The answer comes to him easy – Y/N.

She’s one of the company’s most recent hires - technically his hires. But he won’t take credit for it, after all he wasn’t the one who interviewed her or decided she got to have the job. That's what the human resources people are for -it’s why he’s paying them after all. Still, he had taken a brief look at her résumé. It was nothing too impressive… plain average for someone her age, but Margaret, who had conducted her job interview, insisted that she had showed great communication skills and seemed very eager to work for their magazine. Her résumé came with a good professional photo of her pretty face as well, what admittedly caught Harry's attention on the spot… although he later found out that the picture didn’t even do her justice compared to the whole package in person.

Y/N is curvy and plumpish everywhere.

The flesh on her thighs jiggles when she runs around the office in her adorable dresses and skirts, her soft tummy pudges whenever she sits down, and the pants she wears never seem to fit her body quite right. She's always fixing them, he had noticed. Either by pulling them up at the waist or pinching at the leg fabric so that it falls to its right place.

But never once has Harry thought she was lacking in some way for those things, or that she would be better not being exactly the way she is… in fact, he thinks she couldn’t be any more perfect.

He also likes her style a lot.

It's special and distinctive like her, and Harry would be lying if he claimed that he didnt purposefully look up from his computer every time he heard the hurried steps of her chunky loafers going around the corner just so he could catch a glimpse of her through the office’s glass partition.

Harry is a big fan of loafers too, but he believes she owns even more than he does. Cheaper ones too, but he thinks they’re cute none the less - and she likes to combine them with ankle socks sometimes, in a 50's collegial prep retro fashion, what truly doesn't help Harry’s fantasies of taking her over his desk the slightest if he’s honest.

Often times now, he finds himself scrolling through the women's section of the expensive designer boutiques he shops at, trying to make out which pairs she would like or dislike. Somewhere last month he had seen some unique-looking, square-toed black ones that he thought were right up her alley… so much that he struggled a bit to come up with reasons not to get them for her - she could use a new pair… her black ones were already a bit worn on the soles and wrinkled at the edges, as they were the pair she wore the most.

But no matter how much he wanted to, Harry couldn’t possibly justify getting a pair of $300 shoes for one of his employees – let alone one of the newest ones to whom he didn't owe anything aside from basic professional cordiality yet. He wouldn’t think twice about it if she were his girlfriend, or one of his regular fucks – but not even those last ones get to receive gifts from him, unless he is feeling particularly generous, or needy for that real cheesy relationship stuff.

But ever since he found Y/N, he only ever craves to experience cheesy relationship things with her.

It’s driving him mad.

He has to find a way to make her his girlfriend.

And definitely not just because he wants to get her those bloody loafers.

I did a PART 2 🐿️

#im sorry if this is shit #i know its very stereotypical and i lowkey feel like i did a poor job at this but idk #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #ceo!harry #harry styles fanfic #im thinking it should be fun to write a full plus size yn fanfic in the future btw - cuz now i got much better ideas in my brain 👀

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actualbird · 2 years

Text

some thoughts about artem, the value of work and duty, and emotional neglect

wc: 1k

slight spoilers for details revealed in main story 6.1 and several artem card stories. obligatory disclaimer that these r just my own thoughts and interpretations

i really found bryan wing super interesting because of his SUPER OP POSITION, ON THE FRIGGING SUPREME COURT (thats the whole country, THE WHOLE!!!) but also the fact that this is Literally the first time we have ever head of him across the entire main plot and, if im not mistaken, all card stories.

like, artem's mom is mentioned here and there (in SSR Por Una Cabeza, mentioned as well in another card i cant rmr where mc says artem's mom was her thesis adviser) but artem's dad? nothing. nada. zilch. it's cuz of this, i had the impression and hc that bryan wing was just Not Really Present in artem's life, and when i read his big data lab entry this one bit explains why p well

Ever since he became part of the Supreme Court, Bryan spends most of his time at the capital, returning to Stellis only in the spring.

//bangs gavel on the table court thingy, bryan wing was mostly absent for artem's life: vaguely canon.

only coming home in the spring and most probably busy as hell even when he did come home, i suspect he didnt have much time to spend with artem. while kimberly stayed in stellis and was supposedly more present, she was also probs similarly busy. shes got a doctorate by 2030 and if im going backwards, that means she was either doing masters degree or her doctorate degree during artem's childhood. at some point, she also became ASSISTANT DEAN of the law dept at stellis uni like, maam, girlboss moves tbh. but also, again, TIME. ive got a renowned practitioner doctorate haver mother myself, and when she was working on her degree back when i was a kid, she was.....not there very much. achievements take time, and they also take some time away from family. nothing wrong with that of course, but the absence causes consequences, no matter how the parent didnt mean for it to happen.

the most present adult during artem's pre-adult (and adult) era was neil hume. how artem talks about neil and that one flashback scene we get with neil actually there rlly brought it home that these two were close, they mean a LOT to each other, and rlly imparts the impression that neil was something of father figure to artem as well. but neil wasnt perfect either. neil had to bail on artem as well for work (key detail mentioned in SSR Loving Memories) and given that neil is also renowned as hell (professor, doctoral advisor) and is noted in big data lab entry to "[travel] extensively alone for his commitments to serving the public" and also "had a history of going dark to infiltrate crime organizations" hes damn busy with work as well.

and all this sounds lonely as hell for artem. all the important adults in his development years were either largely absent or still had to go off elsewhere, all due to their respective work. this kind of stuff, i think, causes a bunch things

here are the ones clear in canon

artem seeing work, productivity, and duty as huge virtues. the important adults in his life regarded it very highly, so it's logical that he values these virtues as well.

artem then pursuing these own traits diligently in his later life because it now matters to him a lot. workaholic extraordinaire who keeps going and struggles to not think of work matters or unable to relax when hes supposed to be relaxing, sometimes to the point of frigging INSOMNIA (main conflict in SSR Dreamful Melodies, this card stressed me out so much cuz //shakes artem by the shoulders, PLS SLEEP)

here are the ones where im speculating and/or making hcs

artem pursuing those values for a secondary reason too: the rewards of work become the closest thing to emotional validation hes comfortable accepting. people are busy, people cant always make time, people cant always be paying attention to him and he understands that but emotional validation is a human need and since work has become a value, its payoff is not only more feasibly acquirable, in his eyes, but also close enough to what he wants, he thinks (spoiler: it's not! it's a completely different thing!!! AAAAA)

and lastly, artem thinking it's okay to not pay attention to him as a person. there are more important things in this world. his feelings, in the grand scheme of things, takes its place several notches under the bigger things in this world

pre-entrance-of-MC-into-his-life, it's pretty sad. what artem essentially ends up doing to himself the same thing the adults in his life did to him; focusing on duty to the point that he himself neglects his wants.

this manifests his emotional repression and hesitation (how can he be honest and forward about how he feels when time and time again, those feelings didnt get proper attention?) and vaguely low self esteem (how can he feel sure about himself as a person and the value of his inherent personality without emotional validation strengthening a good view of who he is?).

this kinda reminds me of this one post i saw once that went along the lines of "in my mind, theres a little girl yelling "UNLOVED!! UNLOVED!!!!!"" and that image feels fitting for artem too with some tweaks. in his mind, theres a younger version of himself but that kid isnt yelling. hes just sitting in his room quietly and nobody outside opens the door, not even artem himself. and artem leaves him alone.

and all of that hammers it home how important mc's presence in his life is. whether it progresses into a romantic relationship or continues as a platonic one, mc eventually sees artem under the work, duty, productivity.

she goes over to stand outside of the door of that room in artem's mind nobody enters

and she knocks, asking if it's okay for her come in.

#tears of themis #tot artem #artem wing #zuo ran #tears of themis headcanons

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red-doll-face · 3 years

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S/O survivor that's popular amoung the other survivors because they are incredibly honest, kind/sweet, selfless, often put others before themselves, and tends to overwork themselves for others. The other survivors tend to be incredibly drawn to them. For: Joey, Frank, Ghostface/Danny, and Wraith Please?

Sure! I hope u enjoy my characterization because Joey has very little backstory and thank god bc dbd has been shitting themselves when it comes to lore lately. These came out a little sadder than I wanted them to but shrug

Sweet gn Reader x DBD killers Hcs

Joey ‘The Legion’

Joey doesn't understand why you're so nice all the time. It doesn't benefit you, you're always exhausted; on top of all of that, all you get in return is a thanks and measly smile.

Eventually, he can see why your kindness or where your kindness might actually pay off. It returns to you in his trials against you where he can observe your teammates going out of their way to help you, to pay back for the things you do for them.

He hears from his friends that your kindness is sometimes the reason for your success and your downfall, you can go back and get a save during the endgame that saves your teammates life or you just end up dying too.

Joey can admit he's a little envious and maybe even a little jealous. He’s envious that you get to even be nice, of how outgoing you are. He’s jealous of how much you make them smile. How much you smile because of them. Unafraid to show you special treatment because of your relationship with him. He’ll make up sooner or later.

He’s surprised that you end up liking him. He’s a killer, a little withdrawn for you he thinks but you always let him stay in his comfort zone and include him so he doesn't feel cut out of your life. He's grateful that out of all the people you could possibly choose to hold close, you chose him.

Makes sure you take ample breaks so that you’re not entirely worn out by your altruistic tendencies.

Frank ‘The Legion’ Morrison

God, he hates you. You’re so… nice all the damn time! But he loves you for it too and he doesn't like that at first. It’s probably why you even caught his attention. A beacon of light in such a dark place has him gravitating towards you like your fellow survivors. You so obviously stick out among your teammates.

Also gets a little jealous at how your kindness isn’t just for him. Stop healing and smiling at other people! He knows that this is just who you are but he still gets a little mad because he's a bit of an attention whore, mostly for your attention.

Frank genuinely tries to get you to be a little meaner. He wants you to see the ‘error in your ways’. How much safer you would be if you didnt save all of these people and put your ass on the line for some piece of shit who wouldn't do the same for you.

This stems from his anger that he can’t always be there to protect you so the fact that he knows that you often go the extra mile for your friends upsets him.

Frank is angry yet endeared by your kindness and as much as he wants you to feel the consequences of your selflessness, he still offers you a shelter in the storm.

Danny ‘The Ghostface’ Johnson

Why are you like this? What has kindness ever rewarded you that makes it so worth it to act like some sort of pious saint? He simply does not get it. Definitely another one who is like “aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit?” Danny wants you to understand what cruelty has rewarded him with but he has very little to show for it.

At first, he thought it might have been a sort of venus fly trap, catching more flies with honey act much like his own alter ego, but to find that it's real makes him want to break it out of you. The more and more you come back just as sweet as before gets him more interested in you, finding your light quickly becoming something he wants to keep for himself.

In trials with you, Danny tries to save you for last but he’ll still injure you so the entity just assumes you’re one slippery fish. Who knows if that's actually working.

Danny is very possessive over not just you but also your actions, he wants to control them and keep your nice words to himself but his powerlessness in this regard makes him so mad.

Overall, your kindness is something that he easily takes advantage of and even lies a lot about who he used to be to garner sympathy from you. He might get caught in his lies at some point but he's quick with excuses. He loves your attention and how much you make his teeth hurt from being so sweet.

Philip ‘The Wraith’ Ojomo

Philip is so fascinated by you, he is literally a moth to your flame. The kindness you treat your teammates with has him wishing he were a survivor too. He wants you to gently wrap bandages around him and smile at him and joke with him.

When he finds you're nice to even him, a mere shadow of what he used to be, he’s half convinced that you're an angel or some kind divine spirit. Then he wishes even more to be able to take you away from here. Philip knows that you don’t belong here.

Spends a lot of his time watching you be nice to other people but when you show him your smile and get to know him, he truly is a gentle giant, bowing to press shimmery kisses to your forehead and receiving them from you.

Wants you to take better care of yourself, he is afraid you’ll wear yourself thin. Especially since he doesn’t control how cruel other killers are or how much they might use your attitude against you.

Dreads being in trials with you, hates the thought of hurting such a soul as yours. Ignores you as much as possible, hoping to a higher power that you escape. If you don’t and he is forced to kill you, he refuses to think himself worthy of you and tries to give you space.

Your spirit of tenderness is something so surreal to him and he thinks you are his new sunshine. You keep him warm in such a cold place as the fog. Philip wouldn’t trade you for anything.

This is my first time writing for wraith so I hope these are ok! Thanks for reading and requesting! 💖

#slasher x reader #dbd #dbd x reader #dead by daylight #danny jed olsen johnson #joey legion #joey x reader #frank morrison x reader #frank morrison #ghostface x reader #dbd joey #dbd wraith #philip ojomo #philip ojomo x reader #red writes #danny johnson x reader

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literaila · 3 years

Text

a void on your side of the bed.

loki x gn!reader

summary: loki is feeling lonely. and guilty about that.

here was the thing:

loki tried not to ask for too much. he tried to be the perfect partner, the perfect person just for you.

he didnt complain when you wanted to sleep in, or when he was supposed to make you breakfast (he enjoyed doing that). he wasnt upset when you asked him to ‘clean up’ around the house, or when you refused to buy him any more ice cream.

he tried to eliminate any problems-- never been done before by the god of mischief --he might cause before they even appeared, and tried to give you anything and everything you might want.

it wasnt a hard task, actually. he liked the feeling in his chest when you smiled at him, when you were grateful for his help or when he surprised you with something that made your life just a little bit better. he liked taking care of you, causing less trouble than before.

but. it was really hard not to complain when you werent paying attention to him.

when you needed space for just a bit too long for his liking. when he felt like an interruption every time he attempted to make any small talk with you, and you sighed-- almost reluctantly --before turning to him.

he knew you were busy, and he knew that you wanted to get as much work done as you could during the day. he just didnt like it.

he didnt like not conversing with you during the day, not cuddling with you on the couch during lunch while you snacked on something beside him. he didnt like leaving you alone until it was nine o’clock at night and you looked like you were contemplating murder.

he felt lonely. and he just missed you.

and, gods, he was really trying not to complain.

he was really trying not to make this a bigger struggle for you by stealing any of your time. he knew how hard you were working, knew that it drained all the life out of you by the end of the day, knew that the last thing you needed was him telling you that he was upset.

he was used to not sharing his emotions, to building up walls and keeping all his thoughts locked in. but usually, he didnt have to do that with you.

it was all looking up for loki when the week was coming to a slow end. friday night, he felt excited to get you back for at least two days, to steal all the time he could from you before you got annoyed of him. he got his usual smirk back when you came out of your office friday night, giving him a soft smile as you headed to the bedroom.

this was it, he knew. tomorrow morning, he wasnt going to let you leave bed until at least noon.

he fell asleep that night, arms tucked around you, lips smiling against your head, with thoughts of the next day filling his dreams.

so, when he woke up in the morning, colder than usual, a void where you were laying in his arms, it wasnt surprising that he was feeling more upset than before.

disappointment was a violent emotion.

still, he walked out of the room with some hope left, that maybe you were just drinking coffee and eating breakfast while you waited for him.

that hope disappeared when he heard the familiar click-clacking from the room you had proclaimed was your office.

you were working. again. and loki was alone. again.

he felt a groan building up in his chest, a terrible feeling filling him as he listened for your breathing. he knew it was madness to miss you this much when you were only a door away, but he wasnt used to spending days away from you.

he reminded himself that you were right there with a bitter laugh.

he was trying not to be angry or disappointed with you, he knew that it wasnt fair to put you at the end of the blame when you didnt even know how he was feeling and that it wasnt fair for him to want you to stay with him of every second of every day. to ask for so much.

he turned toward the bedroom again and tried to drown his emotions in reading.

it wasnt really working, but at least when he was this far away from you he didnt feel like you were ignoring him.

at around noon, after hours of re-reading the same chapter over and over again and illusioning himself as his brother and throwing a fake hammer around, he finally decided that you needed lunch, at least. he decided that bringing lunch was a perfectly acceptable thing for a significant other to do.

(and hopefully, it wouldnt annoy you too much)

“my love,” he called, knocking on the door. “i’ve brought you sustenance”

you replied a quick ‘come in!’ and loki put a smile on his face, walking in the room deviously and grinning down at you in your chair.

“thank you, loki,” you whispered, kissing his cheek when he leaned to place the plate on your desk, rubbing a hand down his arm when you looked back at the screen in front of you.

loki tried not to preen too much at the touch.

“how are you, love?” he asked, bending down to stare at the screen with you. he didnt understand anything about it, but it was still fun to pretend. to include himself with you.

“oh, tired,” was all you said as you leaned over to type something yet again. loki frowned at your words and focused his attention on your face instead.

you looked perfectly normal, perfect and normal, he supposed. your eyes were bright and your face was blank, but still, loki was worried over your words.

“maybe you could take a break for lunch then?” he asked, bringing a hand to your face and tracing your jawline with his thumb. he was trying to sound casual, to not let the hope that you might concede slip.

“i wish i could,” you sighed and looked over at him with a smile, taking the hand that was on your face and placing a gentle kiss on his palm. he froze under the attention. “thank you, sunshine, for lunch. i adore you,” you kissed him again, and turned away.

his hand was still in the air, left behind.

your words were sweet. exactly what loki wanted to hear, really, but he heard the unspoken dismissal of his presence. he knew this was your way of asking him to leave, even if you didnt realize it.

he wanted to plead with you to let him stay.

he stood up instead, not letting the sigh escape his lips in the room with you, and headed toward the door. he touched the doorknob, feeling all the emotions building up in his chest. making their way through his body like a stampede.

it was all very much for him. this disappointment that he could barely hide anymore. the loneliness he knew he had to return to in the other room.

before he realized it, the words were slipping from his lips.

“have i done something wrong?” his usual teasing tone was there, his usual indicator for dramatics, but when you looked at him the look on his face was much more serious than his tone.

you frowned immediately, and loki scolded himself. “quite the opposite really, sweets. you just brought me lunch?”

“right, of course.” he nodded to go, but you stopped him.

“is there something wrong, loki?” you were turned towards him completely, concern tainting both your face and your tone. loki felt terrible like he shouldn’t have said anything at all.

he tried to put on a smile. “no, darling.”

but you werent easy to trick, he knew, and you scowled at him. “loki.” you were staring at him with your intimidating eyes now, only slightly soft because you were worried. even to a god, it was scary.

reluctantly, he nodded. avoiding your eyes now.

“come sit, sunshine,” you said, gesturing to the couch next to your desk. loki could hear the concern more now, stronger. he winced and took a seat.

after a few moments of silence and loki looking at the wall with furrowed eyebrows, you spoke first. “whats wrong?”

he sighed, feeling silly. you were supposed to be working and he was interrupting that with childish emotions that he could deal with himself. but still, he couldnt help but feel grateful at your asking.

“we havent been spending as much time together recently and..” he stopped, still avoiding his eyes to run a hand through his hair. “i suppose i’m feeling a bit..excluded? or maybe lonely?” he winced, sighed, looked like the perfect definition of regret. “i dont know” he said, almost silent.

but while loki was feeling ridiculous, you were looking upon him with something similar to horror in your eyes. terror at the thought of hurting him.

you were well aware that you’d been working more, the exhaustion every night made sure of it, but you hadnt realized that it was taking a toll on loki too, that he was... missing you while you were preoccupied.

you hadnt even considered it, really, when you longed to go watch a movie with him or have dinner together. your clinginess wasnt surprising, but loki?

he never seemed to mind space.

your brain took a few seconds to process it before you could speak again. “i’m so sorry, loki.” you were already pleading with him, begging for forgiveness.

how could you have disregarded him so much this week? you felt disgusted at the thought.

loki’s head snapped up in shock. he thought you might be tired with his admission, maybe even upset. not... regretful? he didnt expect to see this look on your face, one that was so disappointed, so loving.

“i didnt realize that you might be feeling lonely also, which is completely unthoughtful of me, i just thought that maybe-” you were gesturing with your hands, looking around the room rapidly as you used all your breath.

“you arent upset?” loki asked carefully, interrupting your rambling.

you paused, then blinked, looking at him curiously. he was serious, that much you could tell. he had that same frown on his face. you blinked again.

“upset?” you repeated, astounded. “why would i be upset?”

loki was just as confused as you now. he scratched his neck, looking down. “because i’m getting in the way of your work, interrupting you, being troublesome?” he said it as if he was trying to ring any bells in your head. he seemed sure of every word he spoke.

all you felt was more horror.

“your emotions are not interruptions or ‘troublesome’“ you mocked his accent, mostly with anger at yourself as you scowled at the floor. your words were harsh, but loki didnt flinch away. he still didnt understand.

“they aren’t?”

your eyes snapped up to his, guilt pouring from them. immediately, you jumped up from your chair, coming to sit next to him and taking his hand in yours. his face relaxed a bit at the feel of your touch. “of course they’re not, loki. if you’re upset i want to know. you and your feelings arent burdens on my day, i love you!” you promised him with strong eyes, with a strong grip on his hand.

it was probably the most important thing in the world to you that he knew this. that he didnt feel unwanted again.

“i love you too” he answered, quickly, before he even had the chance to think over your words.

he almost smiled when he did, proud of himself, of you, for seemingly no reason. you loved him.

it was nice to hear.

it was also nice to hear the softness in your voice, the sweet words, his name. it was nice to be sitting next to you.

he was hit was a sudden burst of longing, this time for something different.

he wished he would’ve talked to you days before, wished there was more he could do. if that had happened, he might’ve saved you both from some unwanted feelings. might’ve kept you from the sorrow that you still had on your face.

you were still upset, he knew.

“i’m sorry i’ve been so busy. that i havent spent enough time with you,” the words fell from your lips before you could stop them, despite the happy look on loki’s face. you still felt horrible, guilty for making loki feel anything but joy.

“its okay, darling, i know you have a lot of work to do.”

though his words were sweet, they only made you scoff.

“thats not an excuse.” you insisted, scowling again. “i havent been taking care of you,”

loki, who no longer felt disappointed or lonely, who was enjoying just the sound of your voice and feel of your skin, frowned with you. he didnt like the pain in your voice, the anger he could hear.

he really wasnt upset anymore, never upset with you, to begin with. he was only glad that you knew he’d missed you and that you seemed to feel the same. he was happy to see you away from your desk.

his brows furrowed.

then he smiled again, leaning in closer to you with an idea.

he lifted your face towards him with gentle fingers, admiring you before he spoke. “i know how i’d like you to make it up to me,” he said, smirking at you.

it was a familiar look. one you hadnt seen in far too many days.

“you do?” you asked him, forgetting your guilt for a moment while he stared at you.

he nodded, staring down at your lips. his damned smirk was glued to his face now, distracting you from anything besides him. “i rather think you’ll enjoy it..” he assured.

and then he kissed you, and guilt was the last thing on your mind.

the thing was: loki was already the perfect person for you.

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