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seidenbros · 2 years

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Holy Diver

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Summary: Staying at Rick's boathouse with Eddie, you try to pass the time, get something to eat and talk until you finally get word from the others, who'll be on their way to you with new supplies. Only that Jason and his guys beats them to it. Eddie manages to escape leaving you behind, which is not easy after what you'd seen happen to Patrick. At least the other ones find you again and you manage to track down Eddie, only to end up with him in the Upside Down after everything seems to go wrong.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Word count: 7722

Warning/Tags: angst, a bit of fluff & domesticity, canon-divergence (because y/n is part of season 4 now), hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence mentioned, scared and hurt Eddie, fear and panic, call it a fix-it-fic in the end (let me know if I missed anything)

Author’s note: Okay, we're right in the middle of season 4 now, and I think I went a little too much into detail, but couldn't help it. The words just flowed out. So I hope you'll enjoy this part, and if you have any suggestions, stuff I can improve, let me know. 💚

On AO3

You were awake just a moment before Eddie, and he was still sleeping peacefully. None of you had woken up during the night, which just went to show how tired both of you had been. When he eventually woke, he wrapped his arm around you a little tighter, not wanting to let go.

“Mornin’,” he rasped against your stomach before he raised his head a little bit. He was caught in the moment, eyes fixed on you, soaking up the smile on your lips that he’d missed all these years. He might have seen it when you’d first stood in front of him again, but then he’d blown the whole thing by getting angry. Angry at you, at himself, angry at the world.Before he’d been able to meet with you again, all of… this had happened.

“You’re real…” he said more to himself than to you, because he had to reassure himself. Therefore, he stopped hugging you close to him, let his fingers run over your sides, your hips, your thighs, back up to your face. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip. A sigh of relief left his own lips, but he needed to ask you something. “Please, tell me everything else was a dream!” He knew that it wasn’t, but he still had that last scrap of hope that he’d dreamed about all of it, that it was just some nightmare, that Chrissy was fine.

“I’m sorry Eddie, but I can’t tell you that…” As much as you wanted to, there was no point in lying to him. After all, you were holed up here because they were looking for him. Eddie's head dropped to your stomach again. Gentle fingers found their way into his hair, to the nape of his neck to hopefully calm him with your touches, and it worked. You felt the tension in his body ease, but only for a moment.

When you heard a car door, both of you jumped. You wanted to tell Eddie to hide beneath the blankets again, but he was already up, looking through the window to see who was out there. You’d just been able to crawl out of the boat when the door burst open. Clutching a hand to your heart, back against the wall, you saw the same four people from yesterday, who were holding up bags. You wanted to kiss them as much as you wanted to slap them for being so careless and scaring both you and Eddie.

“Next time, make yourself known before you barge in!” Your heart was still hammering in your chest, while Eddie looked a lot calmer than you. “I was this close to throwing whatever I could get my hands on at you.”

“Were we… interrupting something?” Robin looked from the boat to you, the hint of a smile on her lips, but you shook your head.

“Ne, we just woke up a moment ago. Just didn’t expect you this soon.”

While Eddie finally got some food - because he hadn’t eaten anything ever since he’d run away from his trailer - you sat down to talk to Robin.

“How is he?” she asked quietly, nodding in Eddie’s direction. Your eyes landed on him as well for a moment, but then you focused on Robin again.

“He managed to sleep last night, so that’s good. Apart from that…” You shook your head. No need to say it out loud. All of you knew what had happened, how was he supposed to be feeling?

“And what about you?”

“Well…” You took a deep breath, glanced at Eddie who was stuffing his mouth with cereal. “I’m just glad I’m here, you know? Five years apart because of stupif coincidences, and I choose the worst time to come back into his life. Still…”

“It’s the time when he needs you the most.” Robin took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. You’d thought about it, whether all this might not have happened, if you hadn’t come here, had come sooner, but in the end, you had no way of knowing, and no amount of worrying, thinking about it, would change a thing.

Your attention was drawn towards Dustin when he spoke up. You’d thought so much that they were looking for him, convinced that Eddie had killed Chrissy. It was the easy way out, blame the one everyone called freak, even though it was hardly possible for Eddie to mutilate Chrissy like that. But they needed someone to make responsible for that, and that was Eddie. Soon the whole town would know, if Dustin and the others had already found out about it.

“Hunt the freak, right?” You heard Eddie say, and it broke your heart. You’d never considered him a freak, he just had interests that were different from most people here in Hawkins. In NYC, it was a completely different matter. Yes, there were still those that called people like Eddie freaks or looked at them like they were aliens, but there were more people like him, a bigger group.

When Dustin talked about finding and killing Vecna, you stepped up to Eddie, wanting to give him some support. In theory, Dustin was right, of course, but the reality was that it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t like you could snap your fingers and find Vecna dead in front of you.

“That’s all, Dustin… That’s all.” Eddie balled his fists out of frustration, but you were there to take his hands in yours, be a calm presence to him, even though your mind was reeling. The others had been through this before, they’d made it out alive again. Still, all of it sounded absolutely crazy, especially the things about the girl with superpowers, but you trusted them, you believed them, and as it seemed, Eddie did too. The problem was, that you needed a good plan, and fast. Especially when all of a sudden, you heard sirens outside.

Eddie went to hide immediately, but thankfully, they just drove by. All that still left you with a racing heart out of fear. The amount of police cars told you, though, that something must have happened, so the others decided to investigate, leaving you and Eddie behind, because you still didn’t want to leave him alone. Nobody should be alone in a situation like this. You promised to stay in contact via walkie talkie.

—

At one point, you peered out, making sure nobody was there, so that you could sneak into the main house. The others had done a good job with the supplies, but you needed some proper food - or as proper as was possible in your situation. Especially because you weren’t able to get any of the others on the walkie talkie, which only increased your worries. Yes, you’d said that you would try to communicate as little as possible, but no communication at all was freaking you out a bit. Still, you tried to keep as calm as possible, because it was enough that Eddie was freaking out.

“Coast is clear,” you said as you poked your head into the boathouse again, getting Eddie to come along with you. Both of you needed to use the bathroom as well as some food. You looked around and found something you could throw together. It wouldn’t be anything fancy, but it would at least fill your stomachs a little bit, and that was all that mattered right now.

While you were busy on the stove, warming up your meal, Eddie tried to reach Dustin, but there was no response. Up until now, he’d been pacing around, but then he stopped right behind you, wrapped one arm around your middle, and spread his fingers over your stomach.

“They’re really freaking me out. I don’t know what’s going on.” He leaned his forehead against the back of yours, breathing in deeply. His eyes were closed for a moment, when he allowed himself to enjoy being so close to you. He’d done the same last night, blending out everything that had been going on, focusing on you instead, and that had helped him fall asleep. You’d always had that effect on him. In your arms, close to you, that was where he was at home and at peace. The last couple of years had been rough, and the drugs had helped him forget about you, or at least push you aside so that he could lead a happy life without you, but seeing you now, having you in his arms, it was better than any high he could have gotten from his drugs.

“I’m sure they’ll get in touch soon.” You wanted to convince both of you, because you were rather close to running all the way to Dustin to see if they were alright.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Eddie admitted, brushing his nose against the nape of your neck, making you shiver involuntarily.

“So am I,” you admitted breathlessly, feeling something in the air between you shift. Eddie hugged you a little tighter, before he put his hands on your waist to turn you around, so that you were facing him. The spoon with which you’d been cooking was still in your hand, and you held on for dear life as his left hand came up to cup your cheek. You’d been close last night, you’d cuddled for hours in your sleep, but this was still different. The intensity in his eyes was something only reserved for you, but he’d never told you that. Still, you remembered that look.

“Hey, it’s Nancy!” A voice came from the walkie talkie.

“Fucking finally!” you said, breaking the moment between you, because as much as you wanted to see where this was going, as much as you wished to feel his lips on yours after all these years, this was way more important.

“Wheeler! Hey!” While Eddie talked to Nancy, you managed to finish… cooking, if you could call it that. It was a drop in the ocean, but if the others got here with some more food, you’d be able to manage.

Eddie’s eyes were still on you, his mind racing from what had nearly happened, what he’d wanted to happen, even though it probably wasn’t the right time. There was still a lot of catching up left for you two to do. He didn’t even know whether you were in a relationship right now, but judging by the way you’d looked at him, had reacted to him, he really didn’t think that you were. Still: Wrong place, wrong time.

When Eddie asked for a six pack, you had to smile to yourself. Yes, wrong time for that, but then again… you completely understood him there.

“She hung up on me!” The look of disbelief on Eddie’s face nearly made you chuckle, but that was probably not an appropriate situation, but he just looked like a lost puppy.

“They’ll get here as soon as possible,” you reassured him, handed him a plate now that you were finished with cooking. “It’s not a lot, but it will do for now.”

“Thanks, darling.” He leaned down to kiss your cheek, that immediately turned red, and you didn’t even know why. Maybe because he’d called you darling. You didn’t question it, and instead took your own plate and started eating up. You’d certainly need the energy.

After you’d finished, you walked out of the house all by yourself to take a look around again, but there was nobody to be found. You hurried Eddie along because even though you hadn’t seen anyone, you didn’t want to risk being caught. As soon as the police got their hands on him, he’d be locked up, and they’d make sure that he didn’t get out. You just knew it.

Maybe, the wisest idea would have been to take Eddie away from here, pack him in your car and drive away. You could take him to NYC with you, to your apartment until the whole situation had dissolved, but… you couldn’t leave the others alone, and Eddie never would have left with you. So you were stuck here.

Once in the boathouse again, Eddie managed to relax a little bit, and so did you. The others were probably already on their way here, bringing you more supplies, so you just had to lay low.

“Talk to me,” Eddie said out of the blue, but you’d realised it as well. The silence was deafening, and while you were cautious, listening to what was going on outside so that you’d notice once someone arrived here, you could still talk.

“Well, what do you want to know?” You gathered the blankets out of the boat and folded them up, put them aside. Who knew whether you’d need them tonight again?

“Are you happy?” The worry in his voice, in his eyes made you look away from him again. You’d never been really happy without him. Sure, you’d talked yourself into believing you were, but Eddie had always been missing.

“I tried to be happy…” You started, leaning against the wall, as you crossed your arms over your chest, leaving some distance between Eddie and you. “I should be. I got into Juilliard, I have my own apartment, I even make money with music…” Eddie’s eyes widened in surprise, his lips curled up into a smile. You’d done it! You’d really gotten into Juilliard, and he was proud of you.

“They let you make your kind of music, or…?”

“Yeah, that was the most surprising thing. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go, but it was my taste in music that made them ask me to come.” That still blew your mind, and you were more than happy about that opportunity, but you knew that your own music wasn’t as good as it could be because something was missing. Eddie…

“But you’re not happy?” He frowned in confusion. It sounded great! Making money with music even though you were still enrolled?

“Not really…” You wet your lips with your tongue, trying to find the right words. You should have been happy, you had everything, except for the one person who made your life complete, no matter if he’d been your friend or your lover. “You were missing. I tried to be happy without you, but in the end… My songs are not the same without your help.”

That last sentence told Eddie more than everything else you’d just said, because it had been the same for him. He’d been able to push the thought, the memory of you aside, have fun with other girls, but when it came to writing music… Nothing sounded as good as the things you’d written together.

“What about you?” You cut off his train of thought, not really wanting to focus too much on you, on your feelings for him, that had never gone away, and were now back stronger than ever. “They told me about the drugs.”

“Of course they did…” Eddie rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. It wasn’t like he’d tried to hide that from you, and it wasn’t exactly something he was extremely proud of, but that was his life. “When you left… I wasn’t able to concentrate on school, because we always studied together.”

Yes, you fondly remembered the way Eddie used to touch you when it had been really hard for him to concentrate. A hand on your thigh, your hand in his, or his head in your lap with your fingers in his hair, which had turned out to be the best way to get that stuff into his head. You’d thought that he’d be able to make it without you, but he hadn’t.

“I didn’t want to blame you for that last week, y/n.” Eddie looked back up at you, regret shining in his eyes. “It was all just… a little much.” And he’d missed you so much it hurt. By now, you knew that he’d thought you’d found someone else shortly after you’d left, and it made his reaction a little more understandable for you.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” While you’d been able to prepare yourself for that meeting, seeing him right in front of you, all grown up, had still caught you off-guard.

“With the drugs, I was able to get you off my mind.” Not that he’d ever wanted to forget what you’d had, but he’d had to blend out the pain, the longing for someone who hadn’t been in his life anymore.

“Eddie I…” Your words died on your lips when you heard a car outside. Hoping that it was you delivery service, you snuck up to the window to get a look at who was there, but it wasn’t anyone you knew. They were all dressed in black, probably younger than you.

“Who are they?” you asked Eddie who’d come up next to you.

“Shit!” He wanted to punch a wall, vanish into thin air, but he couldn’t run right now, not with them out there. They’d see him, it was still not dark enough outside. “Jason is… was Chrissy’s boyfriend.”

“Oh no.”

That wasn’t good, not at all. Eddie pretty much dove for the walkie talkie, trying to reach the others.

“Hey, Dustin? It’s me, Eddie… You remember me, right?”

You stayed hidden in the shadows, still looking outside. They were roaming through the house, so you were still safe for now, but it was only a matter of time until they found you. You looked towards Eddie, but he didn’t get an answer from anyone. Meanwhile, you were trying to come up with a plan, though for now, you really had to stay here, hoping that they’d just leave, when they didn’t find anyone.

They took their time looking around the house, so it was already getting dark, when you turned towards Eddie.

“When they come this way, I’ll go talk to them.”

“Like hell!”

“Eddie, listen, it’s the best chance we have. I can distract them so you can get out and into the woods.”

“I’m not leaving you with them. Nu-uh, not gonna happen, princess.”

“Still so stubborn, huh?”

“Just like you.”

“Yeah, and remember who usually won our discussions.”

You raised your eyebrow at him, crossed your arms beneath your breasts. There was no way you’d let him win this argument, not when his life was in danger. The police might want to take him into custody and question him, but these idiots out there wanted this life, you were sure of that.

When you saw them leave the house and head for the boathouse, you cast one last look at Eddie, before you left him. The only problem was, that he couldn’t get out of the boathouse without them seeing him, only if he took the boat out and crossed the lake. You hadn’t really thought about that.

“Who are you?” one of them asked as soon as they saw you.

“I should ask you that! What are you doing in Rick’s house? You have no right to be here.” You didn’t think that they’d attack you, but still, fear pricked at the back of your neck.

“We’re looking for someone. Your turn!” That must have been Jason, the leader of this pack. You were able to detect a hint of sadness in his look, but it was overpowered by rage.

“I’m taking care of Rick’s house while he’s not here.” Eddie had told you that he was serving time right now, so your story sounded plausible.

“Never seen you around.”

“Well, because I don’t live here anymore. I live in New York, but I came here to do him that favour.” You held your ground, crossed your arms again. “And now, I’d like you to leave.”

“Not gonna happen.” Jason pushed you aside to get to the boathouse. You tried to grab hold of his jacket, but missed, and he was so fast that you were only able to follow close behind. Relief washed over you when you saw that the boat was missing, that Eddie had gotten out, but after that, everything turned to shit. Because you weren’t the only one noticing that the boat was amiss.

They walked past you again to get outside, and immediately saw Eddie out on the lake. You tried to think of something to do, but they were so set on getting him, that there was nothing that would distract them at all. You tried to hold them back, but they just pushed you aside again.

“Hey freak!” Jason’s voice echoed through the darkness, getting Eddie’s attention. Your eyes met for a moment, but then Eddie tried to start the engine - which of course didn’t work. At least, he had the oars in the boat that you’d put back in before, so that he could try to get away.

“Leave him alone!” You yelled at the boys, still trying to get them away from the water, but Jason pushed you so hard that you stumbled and fell, hitting your head somewhere. The pain blinded you for a moment, but you tried your best to focus, got up again in a desperate attempt to help Eddie, ignoring your own pain.

Both guys went after him, trying to catch up and when they were nearly there, the other one stopped. Jason talked to him, but he didn’t react. What the hell was going on now?

His body dipped under the water, before it suddenly flew up into the air, levitating a few metres above the water. You stumbled backwards, not really sure what was going on. You couldn’t really see what was happening, because it was too dark, but you heard it. The snapping of bones Eddie had described when he’d talked about Chrissy. These sounds made your stomach churn, your vision blur, and you fell to your knees, not able to stand this situation. This was what Eddie had seen up close, and now it was happening again. The sound of snapping bones would haunt you, you already knew that.

“GO!” You yelled towards Eddie, who was obviously worried about you, but there was no way you'd let him come back. Jason still wanted to take Eddie down, and the police would probably get here soon enough, so he had to leave. Eddie hesitated, but then he swam to the other side of the lake.

—

“Listen, they were trespassing and I just wanted them to get the hell away.” You were seated in front of two policemen, who were both questioning you in Rick’s house

“And you were here because…?” One of them asked, writing something down in his notebook. They already had your name, your address, because there was no reason for you to lie about that.

“I already told you, I’m staying at Rick’s house, keeping everything in check until he gets out. I needed a little break from my family, so that was the perfect arrangement.”

“And what happened on the lake.”

“That guy, Jason I think, was completely out of his mind, shoved me aside…” You showed them the cut on your temple, which hadn’t been taken care of at all so far. “And jumped in the water.” And then you told them what you saw happen to Patrick. It sounded like something out of a movie, but Jason and you were telling the same story.

“Alright… We’ve got everything we need so far. Just stay in town.”

“I’m not planning on leaving town, just heading out to clear my head a little.” Not really because you were looking out for Rick’s house and his belongings, but because of Eddie and everything else that was going on.

Outside, you were greeted by onlookers and media vans. Shit… You really didn’t need any of them to see you, so you tried your best to sneak past them only to bump into someone, who was apparently trying to sneak in.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, trying to walk past them, but strong hands grabbed your upper arms to make you look up.

“Thank God, you’re okay!”

“Steve?” Relief washed over you and you found yourself wrapping your arms around him, holding on tight. It was so good to see him, to see the others, because over his shoulder, you could see Max, Robin and Dustin - and two others. Tears welled up in your eyes and you closed them tight.

“Come one, we’ll get you away from here.” He was sure that Eddie was nowhere here or he’d be glued to your side, so Steve wrapped one arm around you to guide you back to the car - your car.

Once you were on your way, the tears subsided, and you filled them in on what had happened the night before. You were still shaken up by the whole ordeal, and Robin took your hand to show you support. You weren’t alone in this one, you were here with them, but Eddie was God knew where all by himself.

They told you what they’d found out as well - and what was happening with Max. This was all so unbelievable, but you’d seen it with your own eyes, and now you had found a way to keep Vecna at bay when it came to Max at least. Everything else… was still to be found out. It sounded so easy, find a portal and kick Vecna’s ass, but it wasn’t easy at all, that much was clear.

You weren’t even far from the house, when you heard Eddie’s voice over the walkie talkie. Your heart skipped a beat upon hearing him, because that meant that he was safe, that he was somewhere where he could reach out to you. Everyone was silent, Nancy parked at the side of the road, because you needed to find out where Eddie was first, before you could do anything.

“I’m pretty goddamn far from okay,” you heard him say, your heart dropping immediately. You knew that he wouldn’t be fine, but the tone of his voice, the desperation made you nearly lose it. He’d been through enough as a kid, and now this. At least now you knew where he was so that you could get going.

“How is y/n?” he asked, making Dustin look up at you, handing you the walkie talkie.

“I’m here.” Your voice cracked, you couldn’t help it, tears nearly welling up again, but you got a grip, focused on his voice instead. “I’m okay, don’t worry.” Well, you were pretty goddamn far from okay as well, but you didn’t want him to worry about you. It was bad enough as it was.

“It’s good to hear your voice…”

“Yours as well… Hold tight, Eds, we’re on our way.”

“Okay…” he hesitated for a moment, still holding the button to speak, but then he dropped it, not getting the words out.

It took you some time to get to Skull Rock, especially because Dustin always insisted that you were going in the wrong direction, because his compass pointed you in a different one than Steve was going. Then again Steve said that he knew the way by heart, and in the end: he was right, and you found yourself at Skull Rock. You hadn’t been able to pay attention to the conversations happening around you, because your mind was preoccupied, but once you were there, you looked around trying to find Eddie.

“You just can’t admit that you’re wrong, you little butthead.” Steve looked down at Dustin, satisfied with himself, until Eddie jumped down in front of them.

“I concur. You, Dustin Henderson, are a total butthead.”

Your heart felt with relief once you saw him, and you couldn’t hold back your feelings. You pretty much flung yourself into his arms, holding on tight immediately. His arms wrapped around you, and you heard him breathe a sigh of relief.

“You’re alright,” he whispered into your ear, burying his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling you, because for a moment he’d thought he’d never see or hold you again. The others gave you a moment, before Dustin went in for a hug as well. You had to smile, because it was so obvious how much Dustin adored Eddie - and Steve as well, both of them some kind of big brother figure for him.

While you’d told them what you’d witnessed, it was now Eddie’s turn to tell them. Not that there was a lot they hadn’t already heard, but his insight mattered as well.

“So, uh, I did the thing that I do now, apparently. I ran.” The chuckle that followed his words was bitter.

“You had no other choice. And I sent you away, alright?” He shouldn’t feel guilty about that, because he couldn’t have protected you from anything or anyone, and it had been safer this way. At least he’d gotten out of there.

Nancy figured out that the time Patrick was killed was the time they had their kind of run-in with Vecna. Now you knew how he attacked, where he attacked from, but there was still the problem with getting into the Upside Down to be able to face Vecna. Killing him with a bullet, chopping his head off, all good ideas, but therefore you’d have to be right in front of him.

Dustin suddenly yelled: “Boom!” You damn near jumped, because his voice echoed through the forest. “Bada… bada… boom! I was right! Skull Rock was North!”

“Do you really want to discuss this? Right now?” You shook your head at him, because they were more important things to talk about in your opinion, but when he talked to Lucas about the compass, aber the electromagnetic fields, his reaction, his words made a lot more sense. They’d found a portal like this before, so that meant that there was another gate close by. A good thing, right? The needle pointed in the direction of the gate, so Dustin started walking that way.

“Where are you going?” Steve intervened, telling Dustin once again that Eddie was still a wanted man, that they couldn’t just go for a hike in the woods like this.

“What say you, Eddie the Banished?” Dustin’s attention was on Eddie now, waiting for a response. You knew that it was the only chance you had at saving both Max and Eddie, but it wasn’t your call to make.

“I say you’re asking me to follow you into Mordor, which, if I’m totally straight with you, I think is a really bad idea. But uh, the Shire… The Shire is burning.” Eddie got up from where he was squatting down. “So Mordor it is.”

You never thought you’d find yourself in a situation like this, where Mordor was the path you’d choose, but right now, you didn’t have another choice, and you’d rather walk with Eddie into Mordor than stay behind and see the Shire burning to the ground.

“What is Mordor?” you heard Steve ask, which really made you smile to yourself.

“Looks like I’ll have to lend you a book once we’re done here, so you can find out,” you said with a chuckle, before you walked past him to get to Eddie. It was better if Steve found out once all of this was over instead of right now.

You followed Dustin for a good while, not really knowing where you were, but at one point, you reached Lover’s Lake again. Dustin nearly stepped into the water, but Eddie grabbed him to pull him back.

The dark lake stretched out in front of you, and you felt a wave of nausea hit you. The memories from last night were still too vivid in your head, and you needed a moment to collect yourself. Eddie’s hand on your elbow made you nearly jump.

“It’s alright, it’s just me,” he said with a soft smile, letting his hand drop from your elbow to your waist to pull you close for a moment. His lips met your temple, close to where you’d been hurt the night before. “I’ve got you, alright?”

You slowly nodded, before you took his hand, walked up to the others with him again. With Eddie by your side, you felt a lot more at ease, you felt safe.

They had experience with these kinds of things - not that you were envious of them for living through something so gruesome - so they were pretty sure that there had to be a gate in Lover’s Lake, but there was only one way to find out. Eddie pointed out the boat he’d hidden not far away from here.

The only question was who would go on the lake and who’d stay behind, because there was no way all of you would fit in the boat, let alone stay above water. While you were pretty much glued to Eddie, not letting go of his hand, you were one of the first people in the boat. The end of the story was that only Dustin, Max and Lucas stayed behind, because they had to watch out for Max. Maybe, one of you should have stayed behind as well, but you weren’t thinking straight right now. If you weren’t holding Eddie’s hand, you’d be biting your nails right now.

Eyes on the compass, you commandeered the boat across the water until Dustin’s compass went absolutely nuts. Dustin confirmed that you must be really close to the gate.

“What are you doing?” Nancy’s eyes landed on Steve as he took off his shoes and socks.

“Somebody’s gotta go down there and check this thing out.”

“Oh hell no!” You looked at him as if the compass wasn’t the only thing going nuts right now. Was he serious? Apparently he was, and you had to admit that he was right, that this was the only way to find out. Still, you had a bad feeling about this. Steve was right, he was the one with the most experience, and none of you were eager to go down there and check it out.

Eddie wrapped the flashlight in a plastic bag and handed it to Steve. It was already dark here, so it would be pitch black once he was under water. The four of you still had at least a little light from the moon.

With a heavy heart, you watched Steve jump into the water, and then you waited, keeping an eye on the clock. Seconds felt like hours right now, and he didn’t come back up. When he finally did, you breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s down there,” he said, told you that it was pretty big. You’d found your gate into the Upside Down, to Vecna, now you just had to come up with a good plan to defeat him. All these thoughts were wiped from your head, when Steve was suddenly pulled under water again. What the hell was going on?

While Nancy got up, Eddie tried to stop her, asking her if she really wanted to go in there. She only told them to wait there and jumped in after Steve. You felt your heart plummet, shaking your head, hoping that this was not really happening… but it did. And it wasn’t only Nancy, because Robin sat on the edge of the boat as well.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked, the fear in his voice all to present. “She said wait!”

“Yeah, I heard her.” And Robin was gone as well. None of them came back up, though, Neither Steve, nor Nancy or Robin.

“Goddamn it! Son of a bitch!” Eddie yelled for all the world to hear. “Shit! Shit! Shit!”

There was no way you’d leave them here alone. Not a chance. And while Eddie was freaking out, you got up as well. After what you’d experienced last night, you were scared of this lake, but there were three people down there, who wanted to do everything to save Eddie and Max, and you weren’t gonna let them die down there.

“What are you…” Eddie tried to ask, but when you held out your hand for him, he took it.

“Together, alright?”

One look in your eyes and Eddie nodded. Without wasting another moment, the two of you jumped in after the others, at first not really sure where you were going, but then you saw it. The red glow at the bottom of the lake drew you in, and you knew that this was where you needed to go. With Eddie’s hand still in yours, because you needed the contact to make it through this, you swam towards the gate and pretty much tumbled out on the other side.

Before you’d even had a chance to look around, you heard Steve’s screams. It was dark and terrifying, but you had to find Steve. Nancy led the way, and what you saw when you got to him nearly made you run in the other direction, but you stayed, reached for one of the oars that was lying around, and tried to get these bats away from Steve. It was pure madness, unlike anything you’d ever seen or experienced, and you weren’t exactly keen on repeating anything like that, but you were here now. While Nancy and Robin tried to get the bat that was strangling Steve off his neck, Eddie and you tried to fend the others off. It was a bit like baseball but with bigger targets that moved everywhere.

It was a complete medd, Nancy got attacked as well, but somehow… by some miracle you managed to kill two of them, scare the others away. Your heart was racing from the adrenaline and while Nancy looked after Steve, you looked towards Eddie.

“Jesus H. Christ!” he yelled, throwing the oar to the ground. It was too much, not only for you, but for him as well, and you really didn’t know how the other three were managing. Steve at least looked like absolute shit. You had no idea how he was still standing. The bats had bitten whole chunks out of him, the ligature marks around his neck all too visible, and he was spitting out blood.

You should get back as soon as possible, meet with the others and definitely get Steve patched up, but when you turned towards the gate, the fucking bats came back - and they were standing guard around the gate so that you couldn’t go back home. It would have worked, if it had only been the ones around the gate, but there was a while swarm of bats coming your way.

“The woods!”Nancy said right before she started running. Well, you didn’t really have a choice, did you? So you ran after her, grabbing Eddie’s hand along the way to pull him along. You had no idea, how far you’d been running, but you made it to Skull Rock, hid beneath it to maybe come up with a plan. The bats were flying over the trees in one direction until you didn’t hear or see any of them anymore.

But Steve was still not in a really stable condition, at least in your opinion. He needed medical attention, but he wouldn’t get that here, so Nancy did the best she could, tore some fabric from her shirt and wrapped it around Steve to put pressure on the wounds and hopefully stop the bleeding.

“You stay here,” Eddie said, raising your hand to his lips to brush a kiss across your knuckles, before he let go of it and climbed up on the rock. You couldn’t even protest, he was too fast for you.

“So, uh, this place is like Hawkins, but with monsters and nasty shit?” he called out once he’d taken a look around. It was so dark, the sky lit up in red, all of it just terrifying.

Nancy told him that his assumption was right, which didn’t really manage to calm you down, quite the opposite. What they said about the vines, all of it being a hive mind as well. You took a deep breath, trying to focus on what was happening right now, what needed to be done and how you would be able to find a way home.

Robin had a good point, and that got your attention. If everything was still here, you could definitely get guns from the police, maybe not grenades, but at least something to protect yourselves with. The police station wasn’t your destination, though, because Nancy had guns and her house was closer. A big surprise for you, but you weren’t one to question that. After what you’d seen in the last twenty-four hours, you already understood why she had them.

After Eddie had given Steve his vest with the words for your modesty, dude, you were shaking up by what seemed like an earthquake, loud noises in the distance, screeches that chilled you to the bone. You clung onto Eddie, while you were lying on the floor until the shaking stopped. Yes, it was definitely time to get on your way.

You led the way with Robin and Nancy, trying to clear your head a little bit, while Eddie walked with Steve. They had a bit to talk, because Steve wanted to thank Eddie for what he’d done earlier, and because Eddie had to tell him that he hadn’t believed Steve Harrington to be a good guy, and yes he’d even gotten a little jealous because Dustin had talked about him all the time. In addition, the way Steve had handled the bats had been quite impressive.

Eddie wouldn’t have jumped in the lake if it hadn’t been for Nancy and Robin - and you of course. He didn’t consider himself brave at all, but the three of you had been an inspiration in a way. Especially Nancy, and so Eddie told Steve what he’d observed, gave him a little nudge.

“What about you and y/n?” Steve asked, trying to deflect the attention from himself. “What’s your story?”

“Oh boy,” Eddie started, taking a deep breath. His eyes were on you, looking out for you, but he answered Harrington, because maybe, it was good to talk about it, even though he didn’t know what you were right now. “We were neighbours… ten years ago. And my parents weren’t exactly… the caring kind, you know?” He glanced at Steve, before he diverted his attention to you again. “Y/N found me outside in the rain and took me home with her. I mean, we’d talked before, but that was the day our friendship really started. She became my best friend, her Mum got CPS involved and I moved in with my uncle.”

Steve followed his words, and while he’d known that Eddie lived with his uncle, he hadn’t known the reasons for that until now. He’d assumed that Eddie had maybe lost his parents, but being taken away from them because they hadn’t cared about him was actually worse. Not that Steve couldn’t relate, because the relationship with his parents wasn’t the best either, but he still lived with them. Not for very much longer hopefully.

“We were best friends for five years and then I finally had the courage to ask her out on a real date… Was real romat´ntic and shit.” The memory still made Eddie smile. He could still see the way your whole face had lit up upon seeing the garden decked out in fairy lights because you loved them so much. He wondered if that was still the case. “Only problem was that her family moved to NYC shortly after that.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah…” Eddie nodded, smiling to himself because of Steve’s reaction. “We made a promise to each other. We were too young to get married, so we said that we’d do that one day.” Eddie held up his hand, pointing at the ring. “I even got us rings. Pretty silly maybe, but… I never wanted to lose her.” Steve nodded, showing Eddie that he was listening. Yes, he had questions, but he didn’t want to stop Eddie from telling your story. “After she moved, the contact stopped. We only found out now that she left me a letter with her new address, which I never got.”

“And yet, you’re still wearing the ring.” Steve’s observation made Eddie chuckle. Yeah, Harrington had picked up on that immediately, of course he had. “What about y/n?”

“Still wearing hers…” Just thinking about it warmed Eddie’s heart, because it meant something, right?

“That definitely means something.” Steve played right into Eddie’s thoughts with his words. “And she came back here to see you.” That’s what Dustin had told him at least, so he assumed it to be right. “It’s pretty obvious that she still has feelings for you, man.”

“You think?” That got Eddie’s attention, because he got his hopes up. No matter what, he wanted you in his life again, because he’d missed you as a person first and foremost, but calling you his… Yeah, that would be perfection.

“Yeah… The relief on her face when she heard your voice on the walkie talkie? She was so worried about you, Munson, she nearly broke down when she knew that you were okay.” Steve smiled at Eddie, giving his shoulder a little shove. “And the way she looks at you all the time.. You realise she's pretty much clung to you ever since you reunited, right?” Eddie nodded at his words. Up until now, you’d been holding hands or whatever else to not lose the other one. “So, what about you?”

“Me?” Eddie asked, casting a quick glance at Steve, when the ground beneath all of you started to shake again. He kept his balance, but it wasn’t easy. Once the shaking ceased again, he looked back at Steve. “Never stopped loving her.” Even after he’d seen you with that other guy, his heart had still been beating for you.

They guys caught up with you, but before they were in hearing distance, Steve pulled Eddie towards himself again. “Then you should let her know.”

Easier said than done, but he was planning on it. Once this whole shitshow was over, he’d tell you.

You had no idea how far you’d walked or what kind of way you’d taken, and you would never find the way back to the gate, but you were here: The Wheeler house.

Tag-List: @tellhound @spideyanakin-interacts @hardysbitch @angelzone @neverending-dreamm @bellamy-barnes @mygreygreenery @hanahisawizard @bambi-laufeyson @lonely-kermit @beepisbeep @haylaansmi @snapefiction @snekssss @jssmth5 @give-em-hellfire @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @violetpenguinkris

Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series, or Eddie stuff in general 💚

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #stranger things x reader #staffi writes #asks #promises series

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theroyalmisfitmess · 2 years

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NHIE Season 3 Brain Rot

Gotta say... The season was kinda all over the place but I still loved it! I don't like the lack of Aneesa and the confusion about who Kamala is related too (because I could've sworn she was from Nalini's side but apparently she's from Mohan's?), but aside from that and a few other flaws it was enjoyable. I laughed, teared up a bit, I had a good time.

I'm only gonna talk about the actual important things here/plot points that are more relevant...

Let's start off by talking about Paxton. My Lord, do I LOVE Paxton! Even as a Team Ben I always liked him as a character, and though I particularly did not really like him with Devi he was such a good boyfriend to her and he really evolved as a person. His arc this season was very much solo-centric and I think it was a good way to wrap up his storyline (though, I'm hoping he still appears next season). Paxton deserves the world. I'm hoping he finds a girl with substance and who can appreciate him for just him as a person in college.

The Fabiola and Aneesa plot twist? I never actually thought the Aneesa being gay headcanons would come true but I actually liked the cute tension moments between her and Fabiola. The relationship might have been short, but I think it was a good step for Aneesa to discovering who she is. Her lack of appearance is SO DISAPPOINTING but I hope Mindy fixes this by S4. Perhaps this might have to do with Paxton's screen-time? I'm not blaming Paxton but maybe it's a hint that Aneesa took the backseat for a better storyline later *fingers crossed*.

Devi's growth is beautiful. It's really obvious that she's beginning to mature and heal. Her relationship and breakup with Paxton was immensely necessary to all of it too. I especially like how she, Ben, and Paxton learned to all be genuine friends throughout the season and how she was able to date outside of her own social circle. As much as I also liked her relationship with Des, him not fighting for Devi or at the very least considering talking to his mom about the relationship they shared already meant "doomed" for me. From the very start, Devi needed someone who would fight for her. Paxton did, but obviously, they were at different stages in their life and realistically couldn't be together.

Now Ben. He doesn't appear much this season, but he had a lot of good moments. I especially like how he was written as this guy who still had major flaws. A lot of times I questioned if I still rooted for him but at the same time, even in those questionable moments you could really see him willing to change and grow. His storyline about overworking himself and his dad coming home to California to drop everything for his sake was much-awaited and was absolutely heartwarming. Also (and buckle up fellow Team Ben), I really liked how they took time to develop the romance between Devi and him. The season really took their friendship as a priority first and it was so fucking satisfying to watch the ending because of only having yearning, pining, and hints be showed initially. I will always stand by it. Ben is THE ONE for Devi. He is the one because he loves Devi with her flaws and never in spite of them.

And now for the Vishwakumars!! I will miss Prashant but he is never going to be compatible with Kamala. The short storyline about Mr. K being shunned as a potential suitor for Kamala was really chilling (reminded me of Crazy Rich Asians where Rachel was disliked for not being Asian enough). I'm hoping to see more from Kamala and Mr. K.. But also, Nalini and Devi have gotten closer, anyone else noticed? Her defending Devi to Des' mom and even potentially breaking off her first friendship was a treat to watch especially since we've mostly gotten Nalini vs Devi for so long. It was good to see them on the same side.

Anyway, excited for S4! Hopefully more brain rots soon lmao

#never have i ever #nhie #nhie season 3 #devi vishwakumar #ben gross #paxton hall yoshida #eleanor wong #fabiola torres #kamala nandiwadal #nalini vishwakumar #aneesa qureshi #team ben #always #benvi

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friendofbats · 1 year

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maybe you answered this already, but how do you feel about the sos remake of fomt?

Hi anon! First of all, I'd like to thank you for your patience, as well as apologize for taking so long to get back to your message. Around the time you messaged me, work and school started piling up for me to the point where life became a bit overwhelming. It's the holiday season now so everything's a lot less hectic, and hopefully I can dedicate some time to my hobbies before it packs on again. ☺

Anyway... I'm not sure if I answered this already either actually, but either way, I'm always happy to talk about my opinions regarding Harvest Moon. 😊 I, uh... wrote a lot, lmao so my doozy of an answer is under the cut.

In my personal opinion, the SOS:FoMT remake was... underwhelming.

I was initially excited when I heard news of the remake, given BTN--and by extension, FoMT--is not only one of my favorite Harvest Moon games, but favorite games of all time. There's a ton of nostalgia behind it for me, and the cast of characters is by far the one I love most (HM64 was my first Harvest Moon game, and I remember being ecstatic to find and play Back To Nature, given the same cast of characters for the most part were in the game). I also love the town itself. It feels alive and like an actual community where everyone knows everyone.

So I guess that made the remake (which I'd call more of a "remaster" than anything, honestly) all the more disappointing for me.

There are things I do appreciate about it, like the quality of life changes (finally, I can stack items in my rucksack and can hold more than TWO THINGS at a time! and thank God, I can finally walk over crops so I can FINALLy get that stupid middle spot that's always neglected lolllll), and I'm grateful for the extra heart events AND for same-sex marriage (long overdue, but I digress), among other improvements.

But nearly everything else, I think, was a missed opportunity and waste of potential to really make it shine:

-- The graphics are off-putting, to say the least, and a weird attempt at making things "nostalgic" and "cute", but somehow manages to miss the mark on both (in my opinion).

-- The removal of rival marriages--along with the rival heart events and rival children--is a HUGE misstep and takes away from much of the life of the town. It no longer feels like a little community, but like a hollow, empty version of HM:FoMT.

-- Along with the removal of rival marriages... I feel like a lot of the "magic" of the older games involving some of the harder-hitting stories--like May's mother abandoning her, or Harris's unrequited feelings for Aja, or Aja running away from home--is just... missing. Rick's hatred of Kai feels more irrational because much of the implications of his hatred being tied to his resentment toward his father have been removed (since Kai and Popuri no longer get married), Kai's personality has been watered down from the hated suave ladies' man to just "a nice guy", Harris goes from having a storyline to merely existing, etc. Maybe this is more of a complaint about HM:FoMT too since some of those things were missing there too, but imo my point still stands. It makes SoS:FoMT feel too cutesy and happy-go-lucky, and therefore, again, hollow.

-- Jennifer and Brandon both feel out of place from the rest of the town, and I cannot state emphatically enough how apathetic I feel toward both of them. I guess you could potentially argue that they are both outcasts and therefore they ARE out of place, but I think you can make "outcast" characters and still make them feel like they belong in the cast.

-- There's just... SO MUCH they could have fixed and added to this game that they didn't. I mean, it's a Switch remake, for goodness sake--the Switch is a powerful console! Why is the Frisbee Toss on year 1 still a cut black screen and "yay thanks for coming see you next year"? Why do the characters still just stand around or just walk back and forth, instead of giving them things to do? Why aren't the buildings more fleshed out with decorations, or the characters given different schedules, or different outfits? Why is getting on and off the horse such a monumental task?????

-- (To further drive my point above about the Switch being a powerful console and how the remake didn't even bother attempting to take advantage of it, this post by angelcou drives home this point very well. If you haven't read it, it sums up my thoughts about this all really nicely.)

There's probably a TON more that I can add here which I didn't remember, but overall, I think the remake didn't do the game any justice. When the announcement for SoS:AWL came out, I was--as I was with the SoS:FoMT announcement--ecstatic beyond belief, to say the least. But given my feelings about the FoMT remake, and the additionally underwhelming release of SoS:PooT, I remain firmly planted in the camp of "cautiously optimistic".

What are all your thoughts about the remake?

#harvest moon #story of seasons #hm fomt #sos: fomt #bokumono #answers #fomt

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nuagederose · 8 months

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As the Seasons Grey | Chapter Thirty-Seven: Particle Man

ao3 link

Alex’s voice was even warmer and softer once the class period went underway, perhaps more so than before when Christine met up with him before in the cafeteria. It almost felt as though he was seducing her right then and there even though he spoke before the entire class. He had promised her the sense of a cold shoulder when Captain Howdy passed the doorway later in the class period, but he stood before her with one hand rested on his hip as if he brought attention to the space between.

At one point, he took his seat on the stool near the front of the room and rested a hand on his knee. Christine couldn’t help but let her eyes wander down to his crotch and the inseam of his jeans. The soft rounded shape of his belly paired with the snugness of his jeans, and she found it particularly difficult to pay attention to anything else, especially anything that had to do with either reading or speaking anything in French. His French accent was absolutely textbook, to the point she found herself wanting to swim about in the mere sound of his voice.

At one point, he adjusted his weight on the stool, still with one hand on his knee. She couldn’t help but think back to the other night when he taught her that French phrase, especially when he indulged them in a work called Erotism: Death and Sensuality.

“Sometimes I find myself yearning more,” he confessed, and all the while, he kept his gaze fixed upon Christine. “I feel this itch within me that I simply cannot scratch and I feel the need for someone else to scratch it for me.”

“Like when someone scratches that spot on your back that’s hard to reach,” Eric declared, and Christine resisted the urge to laugh at that.

“Yes! Yes, exactly!” Alex chuckled at that, his big hearty chuckle straight from deep within him. He nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose and flashed a knowing glance over to Christine.

“Bataille says that humanity is prone to the most trivial of urges, the most seemingly unimportant of things, things that we don’t really think about often, like hunger, and we do our absolute best to control them or satisfy them. For example, if you’re hungry, the obvious choice is to find something to eat, hopefully something that will fill your belly and give you the strength to carry on for a time. Not to launch into a lecture about sex and sexuality, that would be…” He lowered his voice to a near whisper, and then cleared his throat. “…off-topic, and could potentially make me lose my teaching license. But I will say that the desire for it can be strong, like if you haven’t eaten anything all day long and you feel like you could eat a whole dinner meant for four people. The desire that pools in your belly and between your legs could perhaps become a bit too much if you’re away from it long enough, and once it releases, once you are able to scratch that particular itch, it is so overwhelming that you can’t help but feel as though—” He ran his tongue along his lips at the sight of Christine, who wondered as to how no one in the class caught the look in his face or in his eyes as he never removed his attention from her. “—you’ve died and gone straight to heaven.”

Alex shifted his weight again on the stool, and that time, he erected his spine so his belly merely hung out over his lap like the belly of a Buddha statue. Christine could feel her lips twitching at the sight of him there: how she wished to touch him and feel him, especially with the cold outside. To cuddle up next to him and put her arms around him. His hair cascaded around his shoulders like the finest darkest lace she could ever find for herself.

“Le sens final de l'érotisme est la mort,” he said in a low husky voice, the same voice that he used when he spoke to Christine when he was in the mood. “‘The last sense of eroticism is death’ that translates to. Everything is sex. Death is all around us. It is from that that we learn to live.”

Christine then slowly held up her hand, and he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yes, Miss Peck?” he asked her, and the smirk crossed his face all the while.

“Are we going to be reading any Anaïs Nin over the next ten weeks?” she asked him, and a couple of people behind her snickered at that. Alex gave his hair a little shake and kept the smirk on his face as he looked on at her.

“Nous pourrions juste lire quelques morceaux choisis d'elle—we just might,” he assured her, and he nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose yet again. “Her intimacy, her power, her prowess, her agency, all of it, is one to speak to the strongest minds of them all. The strongest minds also make the greatest artists.”

The classroom two doors down released right then, and he turned his head away from her so she had a view of his gray streak and his side profile. His eyes wandered from behind the lenses to the other side of the room. Christine held still with her pencil in hand and her gaze still fixed on the inseam of his jeans. He knitted his eyebrows together as he noticed something about the small crowd outside of the door as they made their way out of Mr. Hansen’s class. He ran his fingers through his hair and continued talking.

“I don’t know… do we have any copies of Bataille’s work in our school library?” he asked the class.

“It’d be worth a look,” Eric proclaimed with a shrug of his shoulders.

“He gets particularly controversial with certain things,” Alex explained, and Christine could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice that he was expecting to find Captain Howdy out there in the hallway with everyone else. “Erotism is sort of… tip of the iceberg.” He returned his attention to the class before him, still with the smile on his face.

“What’s going on out there?” Eric asked him.

“Oh, I just thought I saw someone I know out there,” Alex replied with that lopsided smile and a little wave of his hand. Christine frowned at that, and she knew right then that Eric’s sighting of Captain Howdy was indeed the real thing. “Um, anyways. If you can find anything from him, that’d be great! I’m not going to be one of those teachers who makes you read from a book and write a paper about what you read because what’s the fun in that, right?”

“Right!” Christine declared with a chuckle, and he flashed her a wink,

“French literature is rich and voluminous and filled to the brim of things like philosophy, satire, and sexuality—and Nobel Prizes, too! And not to mention, the language is just sexy and fluid. The way you learn should be the same way as well. You guys should be able to read these things and not get bored with it. Just like with music, I want it to be visceral and physical, but also elegant and balanced so everyone walks away feeling like they genuinely learned something.” He then rubbed his hands together and glanced about the room. “Let’s have more fun next time, shall we?”

“We shall,” the boy two seats behind Eric declared, and Alex chuckled at that, and then he snapped his fingers.

“Class dismissed! Stay warm and dry on this cold snowy night.”

Christine then tucked her pencil into the front pocket of her bag, and then stood up with her bag in hand. She slung it over her shoulder and swished her long ponytail to the side merely to straighten herself up. Eric picked up his bag and tugged his hood over his head.

“I didn’t see her that time around,” Alex confessed to the two of them.

“She switched to my period,” Eric informed him.

“Oh, really?” Alex raised his eyebrows at that.

“Yeah. I kind of knew it was her, too, like she had this look to her and I had this weird hunch, too.”

“Always trust your gut, Sluggo,” Alex told him, and then he turned his attention over to Christine, and the smile once again crossed his face. He then leaned into the side of her face as if to kiss her, even though there were a couple of students right behind him.

“Swing around my place tomorrow or on your next day off,” he whispered into her ear. “Bring your art stuff with you, too.”

“Gladly,” she whispered back to him. Alex flashed her a wink, and then she turned towards Eric so they could begin back to the bus stop. Christine once again felt her face grow warm at the thought of being alone with Alex again, and in the safety and intimacy of his apartment no less. She walked out to the snow with Eric right next to her, and he even went so far as to helping guide her to the bus stop given the snow had thickened enough over the course of the day. They reached the stop just in time, right as the bus lumbered around the corner up the street.

The whole way home, he snuggled up next to her despite the blast of warm air from the vent before them. Christine hunched her shoulders a bit as if she was nervous about the bus veering off the pavement at any given point but the streets of New York had been cleared for the most part.

She hoped that things would remain snowy come her day off the next day, and she knew that he would love her latest drawing for her class, even though she made it based off his appearance.

As she made her way back to her apartment, she thought back to when she and Chris were at the very heart and soul of their friendship. It was such a vague, foggy moment but she could feel it in her bones as she thought back to a day in the backyard at his parents’ house. It was later in the day and during a rainstorm, and they were preparing to return back inside to the back part of the house. When she slipped the key into the lock of her front door, she strove to remember the context.

It was so elusive, so far away, so lost in the fog of her earliest fog bank, that it seemed impossible. Christine entered her apartment and rested the case upon her kitchen table. She still recalled the day that she made her killer nurse costume for Halloween. It was something that she would remember forever, especially when it brought her so much attention that day at school.

Something to remember for years to come.

Christine paused at the side of the table with her hand on the edge of the case. Gingerly, she opened the case and took her drawing pad out of hiding. She turned to that big drawing of the chubby boy with long lush curls. The long curls that looked as though they had been drenched under a spell of rain from the way that they swept over his shoulders. The long curls that reminded her of the younger version of Alex.

And then, like a bolt of lightning, she uncovered the memory. She and Chris had ventured back into the house because of the rain. That warm, late summer rain that fell in droves from the ocean because the last cyclone arrived on the Atlantic seaboard and even made its way up north to Long Island. He stood there in the middle of the grass with his arms up to the sky and his shirt and hair drenching as if he had fallen into the raging waters off the sands of Brighton Beach.

He had pinched his eyes closed against the rain, such that it looked as though he was in agony.

She made a promise somewhere along the way to remember for years to come, and yet she had very little memory of that particular rainy day, only mere crumbs, mere particles.

Her eyes wandered over the drawing, over the pencil scratches and the beginnings of shading all around the smooth shape of his face and his neck, all around his body. If only she could access more memories while she continued on the drawing throughout the duration of the class for that quarter.

Christine rested her fingers right next to the sketch of his face, round and full with a slight button nose. She hoped that she made the eyes well enough as it was difficult to master the liquid look of them as well as the depth of the iris colors. Chris had those rich brown eyes, but their level of brownness escaped her.

She tucked the drawing back into the case and headed off to her bedroom to change her clothes. Another evening alone as Wendy had gone off to visit Kenny down by Coney Island for the second night in a row. She had the thought telling her that they were going to reunite but Wendy promised her that the ship had sailed between the two of them. Nevertheless, it was still something that crossed her mind as she made herself a bowl of soup and a grilled cheese sandwich of Havarti and Roquefort cheese.

She thought about Alex and his sense of indulgence. She wasn’t the best cook in the world, and she certainly was not Nelly, but she had a hunch that if she wormed her way into his belly, she could go from there in a way that Captain Howdy could never do for him.

She went to bed that night with her mind on both Chris as well as something to whip up for Alex once she saw him again in the morning.

Christine took the bus down to his neighborhood yet again, where the trees were shrouded in thick white snow from the overnight flurries, and yet she could tell that the bulk of the snow held off for a time thereafter. Carefully, she walked up to his front door and gave a knock on the panel.

“It’s open.” His voice floated through the thick red wood, and she nudged it open with her free hand. Christine was met with a blast of warm air and the smell of his cologne, and she knew that he had just climbed out of the shower.

“Alex?” she called out, and she stepped inside of the apartment. She closed the door behind her and hung her coat up on the hook next to the frame. Alex himself padded into the front room, dressed in a black sweatshirt and snug jeans.

“Oh, hey!” He showed her a sweet smile and open arms: Christine lunged for his body and held him close to her. She wanted that warmth next to her forever. Even with his slightly slimmer shape, he still felt as soft as ever.

“God, you look so good,” she remarked. “At first I was unsure because you lost a little weight.”

“Are you saying you find me attractive at any weight?” he asked her as he pressed his hands to his hips.

“As a matter of fact, I am,” she told him. “I just picture you so skinny, so slender and threadbare in appearance, and I cannot keep my hands off you. I picture you so big and round, and I never want to stop kissing you. You could be a hundred pounds or four hundred pounds, and I will always find you sexy, Alex.”

He bowed his head and tucked his hands into his back pockets. She put her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. Hearing his heartbeat was enough to bring a wave of tears to her eyes.

It wasn’t fair.

Alex held back for a look at the side of her head.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her in a gentle voice. She raised her head for a look into his handsome face: he pressed a hand to her forehead to brush her bangs out of her eyes. Though she could feel the tears, she needn’t let them fall right then.

“Reach into that shattered, wounded heart of yours and bring it forth,” he encouraged her. “Did you bring your art stuff?” She nodded her head, and he showed her an encouraging smile. “Let me watch you.”

It was like letting him watch her undress for the first time as she lay her drawing pad on his kitchen table. He nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose and propped his chin up on his hand as she showed him the sketches she had made so far, as well as the big drawing of the boy.

“Wow,” he breathed at the sight of it, and she put her pencil down at the crown of his head to fill in the hair underneath the rim of the yarmulke.

“I worry about messing up the eyes in particular,” she confessed.

“I think that’s every artist’s insecurity,” he assured her with a nod. “They’re tricky to so much as do, and even trickier to get right. But… it looks like you’ve got it. Was this from a reference?”

“Nope, from my imagination,” she said.

“Wow!” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Oh, my god, dearest Christine, I underestimated you.” He gazed up at her with a twinkle in his eye as if he had just discovered a brand new element. “You are a true artist, my dear! You have a gift! You cannot afford to hide it!”

Right as the words left his lips, the soft ringing of his phone in the bedroom caught their attention.

“Excuse me one second, please,” he said to her, once again in that soft silky tone of voice. He kissed her on the lips, a gentle peck that she was not expecting in the least, and her face grew warm once he stepped away from her. She brought a hand to her face as she strive to contain her emotions right then.

Perhaps this was her calling after all, to indulge in the arts until she simply had no way of doing so anymore thereafter. Alex’s low chuckle caught her ear right then, and she leaned out of the kitchen doorway for a look at him over at his piano on the other side of the room.

“As a matter of fact, it’s right here,” he was saying over the phone. Her gaze landed on something big and shiny rested upon the lid. “You had to get me a cross and not a Star of David?” He paused, and her heart skipped a few beats. She didn’t have to think twice to know as to whom he was talking to.

Alex propped the cross on the face of the piano, perched upon the lid: the way the daylight shone through the window onto the elaborate shape that lined the arms and body of the cross made her think of a church. Though a beautiful cross, something about that made her skin crawl and her stomach turn to the side.

Alex turned away from the kitchen door with the phone in one ear and his free hand pressed to his hip.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he said. “Of course we can do that. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll check my time once I get off the phone.” Though his voice remained down low, he spoke in short sentences as if he was in a hurry. “Yup, it’ll be right here once you come on over,”

Christine turned her head to the left for that view of Captain Howdy’s cross rested on the piano lid. The heavy cross that she bore when she was the one who struck Alex and dragged him around as if he was nothing more than a bundle of sticks used for kindling. It was a nagging sensation that she simply could not ignore even if she tried hard enough.

The feeling that she had lost Chris. She was so close to losing Alex as well, but to the arms of a puppeteer.

Alex tilted his head back. She didn’t have to see his face to know what he was doing. She had a sinking feeling that she was going to have to leave at some point that morning.

“Yeah, I’ll… see you then,” he replied, and he sounded as though he resisted the urge to sigh. “We’ll remember it for years to come. Love you, too.” He hung up and turned back to Christine with a slight blush across his face.

“I really, really hate to do this to you,” he began. “I really do, like I feel bad that I’m having to tell you this, like I would love nothing more than to stay inside of here all day and drink coffee and watch you draw when the snow comes in again. But I can’t stick around today.”

“You can’t?” Her heart sank at that.

“I can’t, no. She’s gonna be here in like twenty minutes.”

It wasn’t fair.

“We have to have time alone again,” she insisted.

“Absolutely,” he assured her as he sauntered closer to her. “We absolutely do.” He nudged a lock of hair away from the side of her face and pressed his lips onto her own once more. Smooth like the outer skin of a ripe fruit, as warm as a fresh dish of kugel on Rosh Hashanah; he stuck his hand into the roots of her hair at the back of her head, but she wore a ponytail and thus, no fingers through the thick of her hair.

“How about the school library?” he offered her.

“The school library on our lunch break,” she added, and he flashed her a wink.

“It’s a plan, my great artist,” he vowed, and he treated her to one more kiss before she returned to the kitchen to fetch her things. As she closed the black case and carried it into the next room, he never moved away from the edge of the piano. She decided to put her coat back on in the meantime, and yet there was a lingering thought in the back of her mind that told her a different story.

“We’ll remember these things for years to come…” She turned her head for a look back at him and the cross on the piano lid. He cradled the cross in his hands as if he had bought another bouquet of flowers, another gift that Captain Howdy would throw to the floor. Christine nibbled on her bottom lip as she thought about the night that she and Eric hid out in his closet, away from her glaring eyes and prying fingers. Alex had his back to her as he held the very top of the cross. So strange seeing a Jewish man hold a Christian cross as if he was about to put it between his legs. A Christian cross that was given to him as a gift.

“Remember for years to come…” The words crossed his lips as if he meant them. Christine scooped up her coat and slung it around her body: she padded past him for her case as well as her purse. She made her way outside to the snow: it was as if he had been caught in a trance, and she had no way of breaking him out of it. Christine stood at the base of the stairs with her hood upon her head and her eye on the front door to his apartment.

Remember for years to come when she wanted to remember her memories of Chris, and when she swore the exact same thing as well on top of that.

“I wouldn’t be so confident about that, Alex,” she said aloud.

#as the seasons grey #as the seasons grey fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfic with art #traditional art #traditional drawing #chapter 37 #oc tag #oc art #drawings #alex skolnick #eric peterson #testament #testament band #artists on tumblr #badgalnirvhannahart

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reavenedges-lies · 1 year

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Pens Twitter is really toxic right now, just a warning for all. I came across a tweet by a fan account saying that our current 5-game losing streak is unacceptable when everyone else in the East is winning right now and we we are falling behind fast. And that the game we should've only lost was the Isles game. First of all, again any team can beat anyone at a single night as you'd always say. Last I checked a lot of winning streaks have been snapped recently? Like are they aware things can change really fast in the NHL? Plus it's only January, all teams have not played at least 1 team yet, no major trades yet? We haven't even made it to the All Star break where momentum can significantly change with the mega long break. Wordspill inconing.

The way they talk about the Pens, you'd think all Metro teams are on simultaneous 7-game winning streaks (spoiler: they are not). Even I am frustrated but come to think about it: it is easy to be loud about the your own team's struggles when you just look at the out of town scoreboard every time ignoring other factors like games in hand, strength of schedule, team health. Injuries can't be predicted, so can slumps and hot streaks. For proof momentum matters and nothing is sustainable: remember in the shortened 2019-20 season, the Flyers were on a roll with a 9-game W streak, quickly took 1st seed then the league pause happened? When the bubble playoffs happened 4 months later they were not the same team anymore and were eliminated in R2 by an Isles team that lost 7 straight heading to the pause. The Blues and Bruins both had high odds of a SCF rematch as they were leading the league in March, then things went south at the playoff bubble. As much as we rag on the Oilers, they had a massive losing streak in January 2022 that prompted them to fire their coach and five months later they made it to the WCF.

The Pens won't be losing for this long. We'll be playing some West teams and non-divisional opponents next, our low momentum now can quickly go up. Once we get a few players back for a compressed schedule from January onwards, it can change the way we're playing. All the bounces that didn't go our way now will come soon when we need it the most. After the ASG break, there'll be a lot of team and player movements guaranteed that can change the whole makeup of the league standings. I'm open to the Pens trading for someone to hopefully fill our current needs - but again we have to wait for Sully to make either the right adjustments. Nobody, just no team can only do so well or bad for long. No team will get all the bounces all the time, neither will be this unlucky either. The comeback wins now could quickly become blown leads later. Even the players themselves have already said it's an 82-game season with ups and downs, why not listen to the very people who play the game?

I quickly came to realize there are quite a few types of fans in sports:

Bandwagon or Fair-weather

Ones That Know Everything™

Haters

Fans of the game

No real way to distinguish between them consistently, nor do I really care most of the time. The Haters over on twitter will continue to do what they do, Sports Social Media much like any other form of interaction comes with the caveat that so long as you don't interact with or consume the hateful stuff you can mostly stay away from it. Block what you need to or take a break from there if needed.

Nothing anyone says right now other than the people in that room matters. We cannot fix them as fans, no matter how we wish we could at times. Its all about staying positive and riding the waves the sport throws at you. I know we're all varying levels of upset about this winless streak, but I am firmly in the know as a Jacksonville Jaguars(NFL) and Arizona Coyotes(NHL) fan that the wins will come, sometimes even at the most unexpected of times. You can't always be good, but you won't always be bad. Its the life cycle of a sports team

#anon ask #rea answers #pens opinion piece #thanks for rhe ask lovely!

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lacontroller1991 · 2 years

Text

The Other Stevens: Chapter 7

Main Master List The Other Stevens

Chapter 6

Warnings: language, spoilers for season 2, fix it fic of course, age gap relationship (ish)

Word Count: 2.2k

Author's Note: So this is the last chapter (save for the epilogue) and I honestly loved writing it. Huge shout out to @ed-baldwin for reading it over and fangirling over it to give me the additional motivation to finish this fic!

==========

The following two months were hell on everybody involved in the soap opera. Although Gordo spent time getting in shape and getting ready for the mission, he wasn’t the same and Danny and Jimmy knew that. They knew that their dad wasn’t mentally home, they knew that he was probably somewhere with you on a mental island. Despite trying everything to see you again, Gordo never succeeded, it was like you had disappeared.

The two months weren’t easy for you either. From your window, you could see his red corvette pass your house every day on his way to and from work, trying to see if he could catch you outside your own house, maybe talk to you, try to win you back, but you never gave him the satisfaction. In refusing to give in to him, you also were punishing yourself because despite all the words he said to you, you still love that arrogant asshole and you want nothing more than to run into his arms and push it all past you.

Staring up at the barely visible moon, you wonder what he could be doing. He could be doing some moon exploration, or re-exploration of his ex. The thought annoys you as you shut your blinds, trying to erase the image out of your brain.

“Honey?”

“Yeah dad?”

“You might wanna see this.” You walk into the main living room and eye the broadcast.

“What’s going on?”

‘And although it is not official what is going on, sources believe that Jamestown is under siege by the Soviets. There is reason to believe that the main nuclear engine is going to mel-’ the main broadcast cuts off as the emergency one comes on, air raid sirens going off outside. Your blood freezes. Even though you don’t know a lot about nuclear power, you know that if the coolant shuts down, the whole base will explode, including Gordo.

“Come on, we got to get to shelter,” your dad grabs your arm and drags you from your spot in the hall and down the stairs, into the nuclear bunker. Your dad seats you next to your mom while he shuts the door, locking it tight before hurrying back down and turning on the emergency radio listening to every word while your mom sobs in terror, you on the other hand, don’t make a sound, adrenaline and fear freezing you over. Not fear for yourself, but fear for Gordo.

“Do you guys have anything to protect yourself with?” Gordo looks over his shoulder and eyes three suits, littered with holes.

“We do, but they ain’t in good shape.” Molly ponders for a second while Margo enters the room, a file in her hands.

“Alright, you’re gonna want to get some duct tape and patch up every tiny hole twice over. Hopefully that will be enough to stop you guys from blowing up.”

“So one of you is going to kill the power to the main reactor, the other is going to switch the back up on. Shouldn’t take you more than a minute or two, the thing is, this has to be done simultaneously, not a second early, not a second late, or else it could blow up in your face.” Gordo gulps while Tracy takes a seat next to him, writing down the information, briefly taking glances at her ex.

“You guys don’t have to do this, you know. Everyone would understand.”

“If we do die, might as well die as heroes,” Gordo mumbles, not really caring if he lives or dies. What’s the point of living if the girl you love doesn’t love you back? “Trace, can you leave Molly and I for a second?”

“Uh? Sure?” She walks away, but within hearing distance, straining to hear what was so important that she had to walk away.

“Ok, if I die. I want you to get Ed to go into my room, in the top drawer on the right side of the bed, there is going to be a letter in an envelope. I want you to tell Ed to take that letter and give it to (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Who’s tha-”

“Just tell Ed, please? It’s important.” Tracy rolls her eyes, is he seriously still on that chick? Molly nods her head and stares at Gordo through the screen.

“Anything else?” Gordo looks back to Tracy who shakes her head.

“Nope, I think we got it all.”

“Godspeed.”

Minutes later and all suited up, Gordo and Tracy stand next to each other, last minute thoughts running through their brain. Pulling out a photo, Gordo traces your features with his gloved hand and a faint smile on his lips. He hopes that he won’t die. He hopes that he’ll be able to give you the letter in person. Setting the picture to the side, he cracks his neck and eyes the door, aware of the way Tracy watches him. “What is it, Tracy?”

“I love you, Gordo. If we live, I want to make things work between us.”

“Wish you would’ve said that 5 years ago. I’ve moved on and I know she’s young, but I love her. She makes me happy and not a second has gone by where I don’t think of her. And yeah, I made a mistake and haven’t seen her in months, but I still want her. I need her. I love you too, Trace. You’re the mother of my children, but I am in love with her and I want her.” Tracy turns away and stares straight ahead.

“Alright then, let’s save the day.”

----------

‘Defying direct orders, the crew of Apollo and Soyuz met in space and shared a handshake, de-escalating the nuclear threat. In other news, Jamestown narrowly avoided a nuclear meltdown due to the heroic actions of Astronaut and Captain Gordon Stevens as well as Astronaut Tracy Stevens. Their condition is unknown at the time,’ you stare blankly at the tv as you soak in the events of the day. One, you were almost nuked, two, there was almost a nuclear meltdown that would’ve killed everyone on the moon, and three, Gordo could be dead and the last thing you ever told him was to never speak to you again, and now… all you want to do is to fly to the moon, just to make sure he is okay. Muting the tv, you choke back a sob as you pull out the only photo of him and you that you didn’t ruin, a photo of him and you smiling, a stretch of land behind the two of you with Columbia in the background, just days before the catastrophic fight.

A sharp knock stirs you out of your thoughts as your dad opens the door, Jimmy and Danny standing there with their hands in their pockets. “Can I help you boys?”

“Yeah, we need to borrow (Y/N), if that’s okay?” Your dad looks over to you as you nod your head, pocketing the photo and making your way over to the pair.

“I saw the news, is he ok?”

“He’s going to be fine. He’s at the hospital right now, so we decided that he’ll need some company while we go back and forth between mom and him.”

“I’m so glad to hear that they’re back and safe, but I don’t think it would be wise to go and see him.” Danny rolls his eyes and grabs your arm gently, guiding you out the door and to his car, sticking you in the back while Jimmy takes the front.

“Although I don’t like you or my dad being together, you made him happy. These past few months without you, he’s been completely insufferable, always moping around and just not being himself. So, I can get over myself for his sake.” He peels out of the driveway as you look out the window, watching the trees pass by.

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

“Please, he won’t shut up about you, he wants to see you,” Jimmy comments, placing his headphones on, leaving you and Danny without a barrier between awkward silence.

“I am sorry about what happened. I don’t know what came over me,” you give him a small smile through the rearview mirror while he pulls into the hospital parking lot. “Alright, so we’ll see him first, you can just wait outside, but then we’ll leave you so we can go see mom. Deal?”

“Yeah, deal.” Danny and Jimmy look between each other and nod in unison.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

---------

Gordo groans as his eyes open, his body feeling like he hit a brick wall. After turning the back up generator on, on the way back to the safety of Jamestown, he tripped and fell, breaking his leg against the metal stairs, and then of course, the not healthy dose of radiation poisoning both he and Tracy got from their time outside. Looking around, he notes he’s back on Earth, in a hospital room, various wires poking out of his skin to provide him with the necessary medicine he needs. “Hey dad,” Danny’s voice is the first he hears as he turns his head, noting both sons are present. He grins.

“Hey boys. Miss me?” He extends his arms for them as Danny and Jimmy gently hug Gordo, relief washing over them. “So, does anybody know what the doc said? How long am I gonna be here?”

“They said they want to keep you for about a month, one week to treat the radiation and then to take care of your leg, you had a pretty bad fall,” Danny comments as Gordo’s face falls. “But, the president has awarded you two medals. Medal of Honor and Defense Distinguished Service.” Gordo waves his hand at the notion.

“I don’t need a medal. How’s your mom?”

“She’s doing better than you, that’s for sure. She’ll be here for a week,” Jimmy replies, periodically looking at the entrance, Gordo catches on.

“What are you looking at?” Jimmy and Danny look at each other.

“Well, since you’ll be here for a month, and we can’t keep both you and mom entertained at the same time, we figured you having a guest visitor might lighten the mood.” Gordo’s heart skips a beat at the possibility that it’s you. God, he hopes it’s you. Just then, you round the corner, your hands fiddling with each other as you stand in the doorway, not really sure what to do.

“(Y/N),” Danny and Jimmy stand up and make their way over to you, patting you on the shoulder before shutting the door behind them, leaving you and Gordo alone. You immediately rush to his side, looking him over as tears well in your eyes. You almost lost him without telling him how you really feel.

Noticing the tears in your eyes, Gordo takes one of your hands in his and lightly squeezes in comfort. “Hey, look at me.” Your eyes travel up to his face, a tired lopsided smile etching its way onto his face. “It’s good to see you.”

“Gordo, I-,” you lean up and press your lips against his, trying to convey all of your feelings through your lips. Pulling away, you rest your forehead against his, yours and his breath playing against each other. “I thought you were going to die. I saw the news and everything and I was so scared for you. I was so scared,” he reaches a hand up and brushes away the tears with his thumb before caressing your face, holding you close as you wrap your body over his, being careful to not actually rest against his wounded body. “I was so scared, Gordo. I thought I was gonna lose you.” He chuckles lightly, sniffing back tears of his own as he presses another kiss to your lips.

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, but you never called back.” You shake your head in denial at your own stupidity.

“I know, I know. I was stupid.”

“No, no, no. I was stupid. I should’ve never said those things. I should’ve never done that to you. I should’ve never gone out and drank. I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Let’s just forget about it and start over.”

“Yeah, that sounds real nice. (Y/N) (Y/L/N), would you like to go out, on a real date?” He looks up at you while you nod, tears collecting on your lashes as you smile down at him.

“Yes, I would.”

“Good,” he attempts to scoot over in his bed, leaving some space on the side, “all I wanna do right now is hold you. Get in here,” he commands as you toe off your shoes and climb into the hospital bed, allowing him to wrap an arm around your frame as he presses a kiss to the top of your head while you snuggle into him, being careful to avoid the wires. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Gordon Stevens. I love you too.”

--- fin ----

General Tag List: @marvelousmermaid @himbovillain-anon @babblydrabbly @a-reader-and-a-writer @fairchildflag @infatuatedjanes @niki-xie

MCB Tag List: @ed-baldwin @sugapapichulo @reveluving @violetmuses @lafemmeahem @xoxabs88xox

#the other stevens #michael dorman #gordo stevens x reader #gordo stevens x you #gordon stevens #gordo stevens #gordon stevens x reader #reader insert #female reader #astronaut gordo stevens #for all mankind fic #for all mankind apple tv #tracy stevens #sarah jones

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agentofagony · 2 years

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The fact that they try to pass S*lki off as "self love" and that "it makes sense because he's a narcissist" honestly disgusts me. Loki's NOT a narcissist lmao we see so clearly all that self hatred and sense of unbelonging getting buried under an over-the-top stage persona. Self love and acceptance is such a huge part of not just Loki's journey in the comics but in the mythological/historical figure as well-an outcast among the gods not just for having a giant for a father but for "flaunting" their fluid identity and refusing to adhere to societal norms. Nothing is more tender to me than Loki gently kissing their alternate self on the forehead and reassuring them that everything will be all right and that they are loved. Sickens me that the MCU has taken all of that away.

Gonna start this by saying I don't mean to turn this ask into a vent but It just came out like that.

Honestly, I realised after a while of thinking that I'm not a therapist so I can't really talk about what mental illness does Loki has.

But what I know is being a narssist is not a bad thing. the show and people on the internet are treating narssissam as a bad thing and this is very harmful.Especially to people who has the disorder, they're humans too. Not all narssist are bad people and it's sad people keeps trying to single them out as such.

The message of the show is kinda terrifying. Especially to people like me who's questioning why they act the way they do. I'm now considering whether I am one or not and I'm too scared to go check therapy because of the termeant everyone and the show has to this personality disorder.

Loki didn't learn self love in the show. The one who learned self love is sylvie, she's the one who got the pep talk and she's the one getting someone by her side willing to forgive her for her mistakes because they understand how she feels.Someone Loki never had in his life, someone who won't beat the shit out of her every time he finds out she's not dead someone won't try to disregard her feelings for someone else, someone who's cable of giving praises to her giving her all the emotional support he has. What Loki learned is his feelings doesn't matter. Hopefully season two would fix this by having sylvie knowledge her treatment of Loki is bad or apologizing to him.

I personally don't even understand where does narssissam even take place in the story. It's literally not even a plot point. The whole story is that Loki got told his life was a lie AGAIN.Instead of getting angry this time he gave up on everything because really what is he supposed to do? Then he found sylvie as his new will to live and spent the entire time simping for her minewhile she looked very uncomfortable :/.

People are like "but she cares about him!" bitch and? Good she cares for him now can she physically show she does? Maybe a hug? Maybe praise Loki? Maybe try not being mean? I literally can't ship this if there is no equality between the couple. The man shouldn't be the only one doing the heavy lifting in the relationship .They don't sound or feel like a happy cute couple to me.

I'm willing to give the ship a chance if in the next season sylvie is gonna be actually good to Loki but for now I hate it.

#loki #loki 2021 #Loki series #Anti-sylki #loki rant

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glimmerofawesome · 2 years

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So I don’t typically agree with American commentary (or really; most commentary now that I’ve watched a full WSL season) but I must say the espn commentary was spot on for the Norway game. They absolutely had no fire in them, and no passion to win (they barely got the passion to tie in the last 15-20 mins). While I typically am a ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it type person (looking at you my team USWNT) this coach has clearly hit his end point and with the amount of talent Norway has they absolutely have to ditch him. Idk what’s going on behind the scenes, but clearly Frida and Ingrid are good friends off the field and have known each other for so long but you absolutely wouldn’t guess that by the way they played today. I get their may be some Ada/rest of the team tension but I don’t think it’s anywhere near the discomfort presented on the field the last two games.

The fact that they’ve been playing the same formation since the 90’s is actually insane. The female commentator was predicting exactly what would come of this formation the entire game, and while that’s their job I don’t think certain commentators nail it (foudy and Wagner I’m looking at y’all) but this time she knew exactly what would happen based off this formation because they’ve been playing the same formation since the commentator was playing in the 90’s!. I was thinking, it’s actually crazy that Ada is going to have left this tournament scoring 0 goals. In what world is Ada hegerber leaving a total of 3 games with no goals. Not that everything is about her of course, but the more I think about it the more shocking these results are.

Hoping that Norway hire a new coach ASAP and can instill some confidence in that team. They’re like less than 15-20 (?) games away from a World Cup and need a huge mental shift and team bonding experience. Belgium is their next qualifier and they’re putting up VERY similar results to Norway (Austria 1-0 belgium, Belgium 4-1 Northern Ireland, 1-1 Iceland, France 2-1). They can’t be going into these upcoming games absolutely broken and I hope their federation realizes the talent they’ve got on their hands and fixes something, anything.

If anything, I hope this loss works in their favor. I have a feeling that had they won, they’d put up a similar albeit maybe slightly less devastating (maybe 4-0?) loss to Germany and that I’m not sure how you come back from. At the end of the day, I truly have no idea where this federation goes from here, hopefully they can get something together and the sooner the better.

I'm going to put them behind, since your message and my response are a bit long.

I think besides player name pronunciations, the commentary and studio segments have been pretty spot on in general. Not perfect by any means, but they've definitely called out when teams are playing well and when they are not and many times why.

The last 15-20 minutes were way too relaxed for Norway. I want to know why in the world Martin only made 1 sub at the 64th minute, and then nothing again until the 82nd? It already wasn't not working, and I'm not sure how he was thinking giving Sophie 8 minutes, and VBR only 4 was ever going to be enough time when you needed 2 goals 😵 Celin made a really good impact off the bench, but they needed more of that, and a formation change before he subbed Celin on. Even if it was moving CGH wide, Reiten to the middle/someone else, and Reiten/someone else to the left.

I think people think Ingrid played better at WOB, but no, she played the exact same way she still does now. She was just paired with Bjorki her first season, and Obi her second. Which hid her inefficiencies and struggles, and even then there were several. Which is more on focus in the national team, especially with really only playing two in the midfield. So much ground for her and Frida to cover, and they didn't do a good job of connecting anything, or were losing the ball all over (same for others too).

Definitely think Martin and (hopefully) the new coach play a system that adapts to the players they have, but also helps protect the backline more. The 4-4-2 / 4-2-3-1 they have been playing didn't work where they played some of these players. Definitely shouldn't have Ada leaving a tournament with zero goals. Especially with her probably having maybe a couple shots on target the last two matches. She should have scored in the first match, but yeah.

But I completely agree. That team was already past their time with Martin. They were before the tournament, and seeing as they haven't improved in the past three years, perhaps for many years prior. He seems like he's created a relaxed and good environment for the team at camp, but it really doesn't show itself in matches. The team last night had several players who were nervous. Either because they hadn't been playing (and maybe weren't ready), or just didn't want to get knocked out.

Hopefully they are able to find a good coach that is a good fit for these players, and can bring out the best of them. And help them improve in some way. I think it'll take some time, and hopefully they've not wasted the NT careers of several players in the mean time.

#anonymous

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thebadascetic · 3 months

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What to Do For Lent?

My post last week left off on a more melancholic note. Thankfully, I've been blessed with a much better week this week.

It was my brother's birthday on Thursday. He is 11 now. Due to his school and my work, I wasn't able to visit him until this Sunday but I was able to get him a present (money has been tight lately so I wasn't sure I'd be able to). My fiance came along with me and gave him a present too which I really appreciated.

Speaking of my fiance, the two of us took our drivers knowledge test this past Saturday and I'm pleased to say that we both passed! We both have our learner's licence and will hopefully start learning the basics of driving soon enough. I don't want to put this off for too long.

Divine Liturgy was lovely as always. This week we were at St. Volodymyr's. The parish community here is mostly older folks, with some younger families attending from time to time.

For Christmas Eve last year, one of the older couples invited us, along with another of the couples and one of the women to a traditional Ukrainian Catholic Christmas Eve feast. It was honestly so amazing and really made us feel like part of the community. When we were at Divine Liturgy yesterday, the wife of the couple who hosted Christmas Eve gave me a booklet she'd made herself discussing the traditions of the feast, the foods typically served and recipes for them, as well as some Ukrainian Christmas carols. I absolutely love it and can't wait until I can put it into practise next Christmas season!

As for today, I had my second appointment with my new psychologist. This time the therapy dog was there! She's a six year old Labrador (I think) named Blossom and she spent most of our appointment sleeping but I love her immensely. I also got a start on writing up a new budget in the lead up to getting my first pay of the year. I'm a little apprehensive of how my grocery budget will change now that Meatfare has come to pass. I will be giving up meat for the entirety of Lent and I'm not sure how I'll fare with it. I'm trying not to go too hard with my Lenten fasts, since this will be my first Lent, but I'm feeling confident about what I have so far.

Here is what I'm planning to do for Lent:

Give up meat - I have an incredibly high metabolism and struggle if I don't eat well consistently so I won't be fasting from food as a whole.

Give up coffee - people who have given up coffee have expressed noticeable reductions in anxiety levels.

Give up coke - I'd say soft drinks in general but I only really drink coke. I usually only have it when I'm out but I think I'll be swapping it out for fruit juice/tea for Lent.

Give up my laptop - it's a major distraction for me and I live very close to a library with free to use computers. If I desperately need a computer, I can go there.

Give up wasteful social media usage - I'll be using it to keep in touch with friends since usually I'm very bad at answering messages, but no scrolling for me. It absolutely saps my productivity.

Take up daily cleaning - I'm thinking a solid hour each day would be good, with possible Sunday exceptions. My apartment is getting a little out of hand and this would help me get back on tol of everything. If I somehow can't find something to do, I have my bike in the garage that needs to be fixed. The front wheel is loose and a lot of it is rusted.

Mostly, I just want to stay productive with my prayers and spiritual life as a whole, as well as with life in general. I still have a week to finalise what I'll be doing and plan my meals for that time. I'd love to know what everyone else is doing for Lent! I'll also be including pictures of two cats I met this week!

Christ is Born! Glorify Him!

#catholic #catholic women #christian faith #christian living #christian women #christianity #eastern orthodoxy #jesus #jesus christ #orthodoxy #eastern catholic #catholiscism

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221bshrlocked · 3 years

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sweaty hands, reluctant hearts

Pairing: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin) x Fem!Reader

Words: 13685 (god this wasn’t supposed to be this long I’m actually sorry this time)

Warnings: Angst and Smut (my fav). Hurt/Jealous Mando -> Touch Starved/Rough Mando -> Fluffy Mando -> Shy Mando. Penetrative Sex. Oral Sex. There’s lot’s of sweat because exertion yall. Breeding Kink 😏. Slight Exhibitionism. Overstimulation and slight slight non-con because of oversensitivity. Umm, squirting 🙃. Dirty/Sweet talk. Spanking (ass and hoohaa).

Summary: He never thought the day would come when he’d hear you saying you wanted to leave him. Yes there was an understanding between the two of you that you were hired to help him care for the Child and to somehow keep the Razor Crest alive and working. And he knew it made sense for you to find work elsewhere now that the Razor Crest was destroyed and the Child was with his own kind. But he just assumed you weren’t going to leave considering it’s been a couple of months since he’d given the kid to the Jedi and you never brought it up. It hurt hearing you say those words, especially when he realized he wasn’t meant to hear them and that you were confiding in Cobb Vanth of all people. Turns out, all Mando needed was to see the Marshal eye-fucking you as you fixed the new ship and overshared your thoughts for him to snap and finally make a move. Hopefully he can change your mind...

A/N: Yall, this is post Season 2 so sadly Grogu is not here, hence the angst! Umm, this was a lot to handle because you know, that gif here. Enjoy ☺️

It’s been months since the events that transpired on the cruiser. Months since he’d given away a piece of himself to an unknown being. Months since he’d sat down and re-evaluated his life’s mission. He wasn’t sure why he’d chosen to return to Tatooine of all planets but he needed some time to think of his next steps. So much has changed over the course of the past year and it took the Mandalorian longer than usual to realize that he can’t use bounty hunting to fill the void in his heart.

One thing he did know for sure, however, was that he couldn’t have managed to survive the emotional and physical changes without your presence. Somehow, you’ve managed to make his life easier and by a whole lot. He has never felt this grateful for having a companion, maker, didn’t even think it possible to ever consider another as such. He’d spent years and years living by the Creed and never once doubting his way of living, but he found himself questioning everything about himself when you came in. It wasn’t that he was suddenly open to the idea of taking his helmet off or anything, it was more of a passing thought on what it would be like if he were to open up to you more, perhaps even share with you more than his name and an abridged version of how he became a Mandalorian.

He mulled over how he would approach the topic with you, finding himself growing more nervous when he considered how you’d react. You’ve never given him any inclination of ever thinking of him as more than your boss and he knew he needed to figure out a way to make this seem natural and not forced. Frankly, he found it interesting how you managed to read him better than anyone he’s ever met, and he wished he could ask you how you’d done so when he never took off his helmet.

Mando pushed the thought aside for now, cursing to himself as he dragged the giant piece of scrap you’d requested for him to pick up from Peli. He wanted to argue with you then, tell you that the only reason for coming to this awfully hot planet was to take some time off, if that was even possible, and avoid falling into the temptation of another mission. But he couldn’t find it in himself to say any of these things, mostly because you were the one that managed to procure the new ship for him and you were also the one that told him the two of you were in serious need of rest. He’d only realized the ship needed fixing when he landed and you told him you would get right on as soon as he picked up the necessary pieces from Peli. He felt a little out of the loop when he’d gone to her and found her giving him everything you’d requested for, and he knew you must have contacted her before you landed or else she wouldn’t have been this quick.

As he made his way through the quiet “streets” of Mos Pelgo, he thought back to what Peli said to him an hour ago. Had he not considered her as a friend, he would have responded rudely when she bugged him about you. As much as he wished to humor the idea that you looked at him as more than a colleague, partner, whatever it was the two of you were, he didn’t want to grow any more false hope, especially now that he’d already given up the one thing that managed to crawl into his heart.

Mando saw that you’d moved the ship behind the cantina and he chose to blame the heat for the way his skin crawled with goosebumps because no, he didn’t suddenly feel calm at the thought of you.

He shook his head from the intruding thought and was about to say something to you when he saw who was standing nearby. If there was ever a time where he didn’t wish to see Cobb Vanth, it was definitely now. The bounty hunter put down the scraps of metal before moving closer to where the two of you were standing. He was sheltered behind a shack of sorts and allowed his heart rate to return to normal before listening in on you.

“I don’t believe you sweetheart.” The Marshal threw back his drink and shook his head when you shrugged your shoulders at him and Mando felt his stomach twist at the endearment. Since when were the two of you on such a close basis?

“Believe whatever you want Marshal, I was only answering your question. Besides, it’s not like I’m actively looking right now.” Mando watched as you swiped the sweat rolling down your face with the back of your hand and swore when he felt the fabric of his pants grow tighter around his crotch. He felt dirty watching your every move, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the way your muscles gleamed under the excruciating sun rays. He cursed the day you bought that garment and he recalled back to the first time he watched you work in it. Mando had almost tripped over the child that day because he never expected to see you walking around with the chest binding so visible to his eyes. It was worse when you reached up high for something because if his eyes lingered long enough, he could see your undergarment peeking from the low-hanging pants of the overalls.

The bounty hunter had to take a few deep breaths to move on from the inappropriate thoughts he was having and he narrowed his eyes at Cobb when he saw him walk closer to you.

“Are you ever going to tell him?” The Mandalorian watched as your expression shifted slowly to a more sombre look and he was familiar enough with you to know that you weren’t too happy with that question or the answer you were going to give Cobb.

“I- I don’t know. I wish I could tell him about how I fe- what I’m thinking about but I can’t...and I also can’t just say ‘Hey Mando, I had a blast taking care of the kid and getting hunted by the kriffing Empire. I fixed the ship for you so see you later.’ It’s not right and I didn’t realize it would be this difficult to come to terms with what I have to do. But I can’t keep doing this, it’s not fair.”

Whatever the Mandalorian thought you were going to say, that certainly didn’t make the top of the list. He almost fell back when he registered the meaning behind your words. You wanted to leave. You’ve been wanting to move on for a while and you weren’t sure how to tell him. You were confiding in Cobb Vanth of all people and relying on his opinion to decide what you were going to do. A thousand thoughts flew through his mind and he tried to see if he’d done anything wrong. Besides the whole thing with Gideon and Bo Katana, there wasn’t really anything he’d done that would inspire such a reaction from you. Not that those weren’t enough to change your mind about staying with him but it was all in the past now.

The sound of laughter broke Mando out of his haze and he turned towards you again, watching as you slithered down the ship, clenching his fists tightly when he saw Cobb grab your hips to help you down. He was torn between strutting towards the two of you and punching the daylights out of him and remaining where he was to listen in on your conversation. He had no right to do either, but he needed to know.

“I hate to ask you this question because it defeats the whole purpose of this entire chat but...have you thought of how he’d take it? Should you decide on-” You pointed to something on the floor and Cobb leaned down to grab it for you, handing it and gauging your reaction to his question as you continued to work.

“Why else do you think I’ve been putting this off? Of course I’ve thought of how he’d react. But I deserve more than...ugh, I don’t mind this, I swear I don’t, but I also can’t just sit back and pretend I don’t want more.” You motioned violently to the ship and to what you were doing as you spoke, shaking your head at the man smiling smugly in front of you before throwing out the tools and snatching his drink from him.

Mando couldn’t stand to be near you, not after what he’d heard and certainly not after taking in your body language and the way Cobb was practically undressing you without shame. He stepped back, leaving the scraps where they were and heading to the cantina to take his mind off of what he’d just witnessed. He walked in and paid no mind to the patrons scattered across the room, handing the man behind the counter more credits than he cared to count and asking him for his strongest stuff. He didn’t bother to address the judgmental stare he was receiving and took hold of the bottle before walking out again.

It was close to sunset and the Mandalorian walked until the edge of the town before deciding to continue until he reached a small hill filled with large boulders. Sliding down one of the rocks, he sighed deeply before taking off his helmet, the hissing sound instilling a sense of guilt deep in his chest. He was ashamed at feeling such an emotion towards what he based his entire life on. But he couldn’t take it anymore. His anger rose as he opened the large bottle in his hand, throwing it back until he felt the stinging drink burn his throat for a few seconds before aggressively setting it on the floor next to him.

Mando wasn’t able to put what he was feeling into a proper string of thoughts but he did know it was an odd mixture of hurt and anger with a tiny bit of sexual frustration. He couldn’t get the image of you sweaty and heaving as you worked on his ship out of his mind, shutting his eyes and throwing his head back to meditate back on the way your muscles clenched and pulled every time you molded two metal scraps together or how they positively shined when you carried things across the sand. He’d tried his hardest to set all of these feelings and rather inappropriate thoughts aside but he couldn’t any longer. Not when there was a chance of you leaving him, and perhaps to someone like the Marshal too.

Perhaps it was unwise to deny his heart’s desires for so long and Mando was sure that he’d met his breaking point because he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Normally, he was able to distract himself and force his mind to stray away from conjuring up the filthiest images of you wreathing and crying beneath him as he drove his cock into your heat. But he had no hold over his mind at this moment, not that he was to blame. He went from shutting his own self out to opening the floodgates, and there was no going back.

He sighed heavily when his thoughts shifted to what you said about him and he took a long sip from the bottle before turning his attention to the setting suns. He didn’t know what he could even say if you ever approached the topic with him. You’d been wanting to leave for a while now and somehow managed to hide it from him. All those nights spent running from Moff Gideon and other bounty hunters and you haven’t complained once, choosing to keep it to yourself. He wasn’t sure if he was hurt because you felt the need to hide something like this from him or because you were awfully understanding of how these complaints could distract him.

And then there was the whole thing with the ship. He had assumed that the two of you sort of shared it now but it seemed that you never saw it as belonging to you but only to him. And you went out of your way to fix it now when you didn’t have to. Mando didn’t notice his tears until he licked his drying lips and tasted the saltiness across his mouth. He wiped his cheeks and laughed at himself. When had he become like this? First it was the child and now you.

He wished he could take it all back, to have never met the kid or you. His life was simple and not complicated and now, now he was faced with the prospect of losing you as well. The bounty hunter dismissed the thought as quickly as it came because he knew deep down that it was better to have had the two of you in his life, even for a short while, than to have never known you. It wasn’t ideal but since when was his life ideal?

As the suns set beneath the sky, the Mandalorian looked down and saw that the bottle was still almost full. Not wanting to finish it now, because he might actually need it later when you decide to leave, Mando stood up and slowly made his way back into town. He needed to sleep, not to rest but to put a pause on his rather depressing thoughts if only for a little bit. When he saw the town come into view, he took a deep breath and put his helmet back on.

The town was quieter than usual and the Mandalorian found himself going straight to the ship instead of joining the others. He’d spent the past few days enjoying his nights in the corner of the busy cantina, watching as you won one Sabacc game after another without breaking a sweat while everyone groaned in annoyance at how well you were kicking their asses. But he couldn’t trust himself tonight, not around you and certainly not around the Marshal.

Trying not to bring too much attention to himself, Mando walked past the cantina towards the ship, already thinking of how relieved he’d be once he used the refresher. Going up the ramp, he was about to walk to the small, private room near the cockpit to grab a change of clothes when he heard a loud shriek that sounded a lot like his name coming from the opposite end of the ship. Mando quickly turned around and shut his eyes in exasperation when he saw you approaching him far angrier than he’d ever seen you. He set the bottle down and turned his attention towards you, raising an eyebrow to himself when he saw your chest heaving beneath the chest band. He averted his eyes quickly, refusing to think of you sweaty and breathless under other circumstances. Maker, he couldn’t go no like this.

“Where in the kriffing hell have you been? You were supposed to bring the parts from Peli hours ago and I have to find out from some kid that you just left them on the ground and walked away to- hell, I don’t even know what was more important for you than bringing me the scraps so I could fix the ship? Really, Mando, I understand that it’s been a little weird and difficult lately but I barely ask for anything and, ugh, maker.” You held back from voicing more of your thoughts, afraid that you’ve already gone far with asking him where he was. He didn’t really need to tell you what his business was but you’d assumed the two of you have come to an understanding regarding such matters, at the very least to ensure everyone’s safety.

Mando stood there in silence and took a deep breath before turning around and walking into his room, afraid he’d give himself away if he tried to respond to you.

You furrowed your eyebrows in frustration when he quietly walked away from you, anger rising in your chest as he came out and made his way past you to the refresher. Before you could think twice of what you were doing, you were sprinting past him and standing in front of the open door, pushing your fingers into his beskar-clad chest as you hissed at him.

“I’m not sure what happened or why you’re giving me the silent treatment right now but this is not how we deal with our problems okay.” Mando took a few steps back as you continued to shove your finger into him, trying his hardest to not grab your wrist and push you against the nearest wall. “We talk things out and we come up with a way to fix things and compromise if need be.” Mando’s back hit the wall, and he threw his head back to avoid your gaze, unable to hold back the chuckle that rose from beneath the helmet at your words.

How ironic.

“Did I say something funny?” You narrowed your eyes up at him and wished for once that he’d remove that god damn helmet so you could gauge his reaction.

“You mean we should talk things out like you and Cobb Vanth today? Or would it be different?” Mando’s chest tightened when he noticed the surprised expression on your face, knowing very well this was not what you expected to hear from him. He was a rational man, never once letting his mind give away to such simplistic thoughts but you’d struck a nerve and he could no longer hide his jealousy. Yes, it was jealousy. As much as he hated to admit it, that’s what he was feeling right now, what he’s been feeling all day long. It was childish and unlike him but it wasn’t going to do him any good if he continued to ignore it.

“I’m dying to know if that’s what you mean. You obviously don’t have an issue telling him about how difficult it’s been working with me and how you can’t keep doing this.” It was your turn to take a few steps back when you saw his shoulders push out and make him taller than he already was. He continued to walk towards you, throwing his clothes to the ground and almost apologizing when you tripped on your feet when he was only a foot away from you.

“How about this, let’s start with what you apparently wish you could tell me but can’t seem to find the right words to do so. What was it you said to him? You deserve more than taking care of a kid and constantly escaping the Empire and other bounty hunters? Or wait, how can I forget...it’s not fair dealing with this mess of a ship and you’re looking for somewhere else to go?” You swallowed the lump in your throat as the Mandalorian repeated back the words you voiced perhaps a little too loudly earlier today, already feeling your eyes fill with unshed tears at harsh his tone.

“I- I didn’t…you weren’t meant to-” You tripped over your words and almost flinched when he cut you off.

“What? I wasn’t supposed to hear you say any of those things? A little strange don’t you think, since you seemed to have a lot to say about me to the Marshal.” Mando should have stopped himself from saying the next few words but his heart was torn into a million pieces and it wasn’t fair for him either.

“Well guess what, sweetheart, the Razor Crest blew up. Moff Gideon is taken care of and the Empire isn’t after us anymore. Every bounty hunter knows better than to so much as look at me and...and the kid isn’t around anymore for you to take care of. He’s gone, I lost him. So if you were worried about hurting me, you’re a little too late for that.” The Mandalorian barely held himself back from pulling you into his arms when he saw tears rolling down your cheek, clenching his fists tightly when he noticed the way you hugged yourself and frowned at him.

“Din-” It broke him to hear you use his name, especially now of all times. He hasn’t heard you say it once in the past few months, even when the two of you were alone. It was the twisting of the knife, and he bit his tongue to distract himself from saying something he couldn’t possibly take back.

“Do what you want, I won’t stand in the way. Besides, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to help you out with whatever it was you were telling him today. After all, you deserve more right? Deserve someone more than me...someone who’s willing to share a lot more than his name.” Not bothering to wait for a response, Mando stepped away and walked back to his room, not caring about the clothes on the ground or how hurt you must have been feeling from listening to him.

He softly shut the door behind him and moved to his bed, throwing himself on it and hanging his head low to catch his breath. This was not how he saw the night going, not remotely. He was hoping to ask you about this tomorrow in a less hostile manner and without making it seem like he was blaming you. But something about your words struck a nerve in him and he wasn’t able to hold back anymore, not when you were suggesting things you yourself weren’t willing to follow.

Din wasn’t sure how long he sat there in silence but the hissing sound of the door opening brought him back from his haze and he opened his eyes when he heard you walking towards him. You’d never once come into his room, not even when he occasionally gave you permission. You sniffed twice before approaching the bed and standing right in front of him and he was reminded of when the child would cry to try to catch his attention.

“Din, it was never my intention to hurt you. I was trying to do the opposite..thought I was doing the right thing by thinking about this before I could talk to you but I’m realizing now that I’ve hurt you.” Din noticed the way you were ringing your fingers nervously and held himself back from taking your hands into his to try and put you at ease.

“I- I only spoke with Cobb because he- because he noticed the way I was looking at you. He noticed how I can never seem to focus on anything or anyone else when you’re around. He- he could tell I was having a hard time coming to terms with how I feel about you...how I’ve felt about you for a while now.” Din’s heart skipped a beat at your confessions, unable to properly register what you were implying because he could never even humor the idea that you’d have feelings for him. He raised his head and finally looked at you, frowning when he saw how red your eyes were from crying.

“The last thing I want to do is to leave you, please believe me. But I wasn’t sure if you even wanted me around after...after everything with Moff Gideon and the Jedi. As far as I knew, you brought me on to take care of Grogu and fix the Razor Crest. We’ve barely spoken ever since the cruiser and I just thought that I was only around because you couldn’t find the time to tell me that you don’t need me anymore.” Hearing you say that you thought he didn’t need you caught Din off guard and he wasn’t able to hold back anymore, instantly taking hold of your hands and pulling you towards him until you were standing in between his legs. You swallowed the lump in your throat and maintained your gaze on his visor, hoping that he could see how truthful you were being with him and maybe respond, if only with just a simple word.

“When I said I deserved more, I was just- I swear I wasn’t talking about your Creed or wanting to see you. As much as I wish that was possible, I would never...could never ask you for something like that. I was only telling him that I might need some time away to maybe forget how...maker, to perhaps try and set aside my emotions because the last thing you need right now is for me to lay that on you. I don’t want you to think that you owe me anything because you don’t, gods you don’t owe anyone anything, not after what you’ve been through. But I could feel myself becoming more attached to you, especially after everything that happened on the cruiser. I want more with you but I don’t want to push you towards anything you’re not ready for.” Before you could wipe the tears away from your cheeks, Din was raising his glove-covered fingers and softly skimming them over your skin, and he hadn’t realized how harsh and loud his breathing was until he felt you rest your hand on his chest.

“There’s nothing between me and Cobb. And you should know by now that he’s...friendly, with everyone.” You smiled shyly at him before leaning into the hand resting on your cheek, nuzzling further into his palm when he swiped his thumb against your lower lip. There was so much Din wanted to say but he couldn’t find the right words that would convey what he was feeling. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind about your admission and the fact that you have been returning his affection for a while now.

Din didn’t realize how long he was quiet until you cleared your throat and let go of his hand, stepping away from him and looking around to see if you should just leave. Before you could head to the door, however, Din was standing up and moving towards you, his eyes searching your face for any signs of discomfort before he made his next move. Your chest was rising and falling a little quicker than he liked but he quickly realized it was probably because of how you were coming to terms with what you just said to him.

You watched as he took his gloves off and set them on the small table behind you, suppressing a gasp when you felt his warm, calloused hands wrap around yours before bringing them to his helmet. He could tell you were letting him control all of your movements and found it difficult to accept just how much you were willing to give to him.

“As much as I hate to admit it, I have been thinking about this for a while.” Din smiled when he saw your eyebrows furrow in question at his words. “Taking this off.” He saw the moment you understood what he was saying, not expecting you to pull your hands away from him and taking a few steps back until your back was against the wall.

“That’s...that’s not what I- Din, I wasn’t lying when I said it wouldn’t matter to me if-” He smiled at how defensive you suddenly were and stepped towards you once more, and you found it annoying that he barely kept a foot between you two, his natural scent hitting you like a blaster to the gut.

“I know.” Din cut you off before taking your hands into his once more, rubbing your knuckles to put you at ease as he continued. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and- it’s not that I’ll walk around without it now, far from it. It’ll only be when we’re alone, when no one is around.” He hoped you could read in between the lines because this would be the closest he’d come to admitting how important you were to him, for now at least.

“Besides, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

That definitely snapped you out of your haze and you tilted your head to the side before asking home what he was referring to.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” Din raised an eyebrow at your response. Have you already forgotten?

“On the cruiser, when I- before Grogu went with the Jedi.” His hands tightened around your fingers as he said the child’s name and you were momentarily distracted before realizing what he meant.

“Din I...I never saw you.”

For a split second, it felt like someone had taken Din and carbon froze him before throwing him on an ice planet.

“What?” He held his breath, unable to move a muscle until he made sure he heard you correctly.

“I never saw you. I turned around when you reached for your helmet. I didn’t...it was a moment with you and Grogu. It didn’t feel right to look at you.” You tried to maintain a semblance of control on your voice but it cracked a few times as you admitted to him. As much as you yearned to see him without the mask, you didn’t think it proper without his clear consent.

Din’s sudden intake of breath made you nervous and you hated how for a moment, you wished you didn’t tell him because there was now a high probability that he wouldn’t take the mask off.

“Cyar'ika, please.” you shivered at the low tone of his voice, finding it harder to focus on anything but the touch of his skin. Once again, Din slowly brought your hands to the sides of his visor, pushing the palm of your hands on the beskar and softly nodding at you. A sudden sense of relief washed over him when he saw the slight nod of your head.

Din found it endearing how your whole face scrunched up in focus as the two of you slowly pulled the helmet off of his head, the soft hissing sound as it unlocked making your hands dampen with sweat. As you raised the visor along with him, you couldn’t help but shut your eyes as soon as you saw the skin of his chin. Unbeknownst to you, Din was watching your every reaction and felt a little nudge in his chest when he saw how tightly shut your eyes were. When the beskar was off completely, Din took it from your hands and placed it next to him, swallowing the lump in his throat when he turned back and saw you were still refusing to look at him.

He reluctantly took your hands into his and placed them on his chest, hoping that you’d finally open your eyes without him begging you again.

“I’m sorry I- maker, this is..this is probably more intense for you than it is for me and I’m not making it any better with my nervousness and- okay. Okay.” You took a deep breath before allowing your eyes to flutter open, unable to exhale as soon as you laid your gaze on him. Din was probably unaware of how nervous he looked and it took you a few longer seconds to realize you needed to breathe again. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, the long nights where you imagined what he could look like fading into thin air because nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared you for what you were currency seeing.

His features were somehow soft but a little rugged, and you found yourself committing every inch of his skin to memory, filling your mind’s eye with every minute facial expression so you could dream of him when you fall asleep. It was oddly not surprising at all that he had a stubble, the scattered dark and slightly graying hairs across his jaw and above his lips making him seem older than he probably was. And you weren’t sure if he knew he was furrowing his eyebrows and then you realized he most likely didn’t because he was so used to wearing his helmet that he never had to learn how to control his facial expressions around anyone. And it was endearing how his nose flared as he continued to breathe heavily under your gaze, and if it weren’t for the fact that this was a serious moment, you would have leaned over and kissed the curved bridge of his nose and the scrunch of his eyebrows to put him at ease.

Din wasn’t sure what he thought your reaction would be and he felt his chest tighten with every long moment you spent without so much as a comment.

You were unaware of how long this dreadful moment must have been for the Mandalorian and you continued to study him in hopes of finding answers to questions you’ve wished you could ask him ever since he hired you. There were heavy bags under his eyes and you wished you were more persistent with him when it came to his resting schedule but he always seemed to wave you off whenever you told him he needed to sleep. Though you knew this stress had to do more with Grogu no longer being here and less with how often he slept. You had half expected to find his gaze harsh and far off but when you did finally meet his eyes, you found them filled with unshed tears and a multitude of emotions that you knew would go unexplained until he had the strength to voice them. They were a deep and beautiful shade of brown, ones you knew you’d never be able to turn away from now that you’ve had a proper look at him. And you couldn’t help but notice how their color reminded you of a Nightbloomer just after you picked it from its roots.

All of that, however, could not compare to when you finally let your eyes descend to his lips. They were a darker shade of pink, and you swore you saw them parting as soon as you looked at them. His lower lip was trembling and you wished more than anything to swipe your thumb against it if only to feel the soft skin melt at your touch. You wished that was as far as your mind had gone but the longer you looked at the curve of his mouth, the more you wished you could lean forward and mold your lips with his. It was even worse because you had a feeling that the stubble of his mustache would cause the softest of burns on your lips.

Din could no longer take the loud silence enveloping the room and he swallowed nervously when he saw how focused you seemed to be on his lips. He had some idea of what you were probably thinking because he was thinking the exact same thing but he wasn’t sure if he should be the one to make the first move. This reluctance evaporated when he noticed the way your eyes instantly moved to his neck as the cartilage moved and returned to rest when he gulped, and he realized that you may have been having slightly more inappropriate thoughts than he originally thought.

He was about to voice his worries when he saw your hands move from his beskar-clad chest to his face and he couldn’t stop himself from looking down apprehensively at the digits moving closer to his skin. You misunderstood his nervousness for uncomfort and immediately ceased all movements, returning your focus on his eyes to look for any inclination as to what he wanted.

“Can I- mhmm, may I touch you?” Your whispered question was too loud for the two of you and Din parted his lips to say something but noticed how dry his throat was and realized he couldn’t trust his own voice. Nodding slightly at your request, he waited with bated breath as your fingers rose to his face and found himself shaking with anticipation at the prospect of finally feeling your touch on the most intimate part of him.

When you were only a few inches away from him, Din felt his heart thumping wildly at his chest and he immediately shut his eyes when he felt the feather-light touch of your fingers on his cheeks. The harsh yet shaky intake of breath almost made you lose control and you had to remind yourself that, besides Grogu, you were the only one to ever touch him so intimately and so softly since he was a child. As much as you wished to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer so you could lay as many kisses on his face as you could, you knew it would be too much for him and that he needed you to go slow with him. He was practically shattering under your attention and you hoped he would allow you to do this as many times as possible in the coming days.

Din couldn’t put a name to what he was experiencing at the moment but he knew he didn’t want you to stop touching him, ever again. He decided that he’d spend every moment with you alone without his helmet and with yours hands skimming some part of him. The longer you kept your palms on his cheeks, the calmer his heart beat and it wasn’t until a few moments later that he realized his eyes were shut. As they slowly fluttered open, he was met with the most beautiful sight in the world: your own deep irises staring at your own thumb as it softly passed over his quivering lips.

“You’re...beautiful.”

It was a simple truth and you wished there was a more sincere word you could use to describe what he was to you, what he meant to you but your mind was overflowing with images of waking up next to him every day and kissing his eyes and cheeks and nose and lips and anywhere else you could reach.

Din’s hold tightened around your waist and you watched as he leaned forward until there was barely an inch between the two of you.

“Mesh'la, I would really like to kiss you.” The request barely passed his lips yet you were already standing up on your tiptoes and pressing your lips to his, finding them as soft and gentle as you imagined them to be. Din was afraid his heart would give out any moment now because nothing could have prepared him for the taste of you, let alone the boldness with which you were claiming him. He sighed into you, unintentionally parting his lips and pushing you harder into the wall when he felt your tongue sneak into his mouth and explore him. Din wasn’t sure what he should be doing but then you were moving your hands to the nape of his neck and tangling your fingers into his hair and he all but lost it. As you gently tugged on his hair, Din found himself mirroring your actions and before he knew it, the kiss was no longer innocent and sweet but hungry and needy. You sucked on his tongue and tilted your head to the side, wanting to commit every small detail to memory so when you shut your eyes at night, you’d kiss him in your dreams.

Reluctantly, you pulled back for a second to allow the two of you to breathe but Din didn’t like that, chasing your mouth and molding his lips with yours once more to be certain that yes, this was happening, and that no, this was not a dream. You moaned into the kiss, finding his desperate need to claim your mouth again more of a turn on than you cared to admit. And then his hands were slipping inside your overalls and holding you against his chest, the warmth of him stretching down to where you wished you could feel him.

This sudden intrusive thought and the harsh grasp of your hips snapped you out of your haze and you realized you should be slowing things down for his sake. Against your will, you gently pushed his chest away and tried to think of anything but the way he was heaving above you from the intensity of the kiss. When you looked at him and saw panic and hesitation etched on his face, you returned your hands to his cheeks again and lowered his head until it was resting against your own.

“There’s nothing I want more than to feel every inch of your skin against mine right now...but- but I don’t want to push you to do something that- maker….that might be too much for you?” You pulled back and waited until he opened his eyes again before continuing. “I feel like you just made a dramatic decision by taking the helmet off in front of me and- and you’re probably feeling a multitude of emotions right now and I don’t want to make you think that I-”

Din didn’t like what you were saying, frowning down at you as he grabbed the back of your neck and violently pulled you towards him again. You were surprised by the sudden shift of his touch, fisting your hands in his cowl as he devoured your lips once more, not really giving you a chance to say anything else. Biting your lower lip, Din abruptly ended the kiss and pressed his lips across your skin, nipping and licking at your jaw as he pulled your hair down until he had access to your neck. You gasped his name and felt his stubble scratch deliciously at your shoulder. As you moaned against the wall, Din couldn’t back anymore and bit down hard on your shoulder, smiling when he heard your breath hitch at his rough ministrations.

“Din, oh gods, Din please.” You weren’t sure what you were asking of him exactly and you hoped he’d at the very least continue what he was doing.

“Cyar'ika, I want to have you. I’ve spent many nights dreaming of your lips, your touch, y-your skin against mine as I-” Din hesitated and it wasn’t until you felt his fingers slipping beneath the chest band that you finally registered his voice. Fuck, how had you not notice it a second ago? You thought the vocoder was what altered it, made it deeper perhaps. But no, it only made it sound more intimidating. You weren’t sure what made you clench your thighs together, the way he spoke to you of his desires, or how strained and gruff his voice was as he whispered his secrets to you. You gulped loudly and hesitantly met his eyes, finding the soft brown irises barely visible, his dilated pupils letting you know what he was thinking.

Licking your lips, you nodded at him and fell into a fit of giggles when he leaned down and picked you up as if you weighed nothing, quickly moving to his cot and laying you down on your back before moving away. You were about to ask him what he was doing when you saw his hands swiftly move through the beskar armor. For some reason, watching his hands expertly take off the cuirass and move to the beskar of his thighs made your heart skip a beat and you wouldn’t dare move a muscle, afraid to miss the show he was unintentionally putting on for you. So busy marveling at his deft fingers, you didn’t notice Din slowing his movements and looking at you, eyebrows raised in curiosity when he saw how hard you were breathing.

You broke out of your trance when you saw he stopped moving, embarrassment washing over you when you realized Din had caught you shamelessly staring at him as he came closer to revealing to you more of his skin. You’d expected him to move on, or at least pretend he hadn’t just caught you licking your lips while staring at his fingers but no, it seemed that Din was very much enjoying the effect he had on you because his smile grew when he saw your eyes look past him, pretending to focus on something else behind him and not his hands.

You never lost his attention though, and he maintained his eyes on you as he removed all of his armor and took his boots off. You tried to be a little more subtle but gave up when he leaned down over you and pushed you into his covers. You wanted to ask him why he was still dressed but bit back the inquiry, afraid he’d misunderstand and move away all together at your question. He captured your gaze and didn’t blink once as he slowly undid the buttons holding the overalls and you realized you would have preferred him to keep the helmet on because that meant you wouldn’t notice how passionate and direct his deep brown irises were. You’d expected him to be intense considering how touch-starved and lonely he was, but you never once thought he’d be this vigorous? Ardent? Maker, there wasn’t a single word that could describe the way he was looking at you right now.

Din kneeled at the foot of the bed, waiting until you finally noticed what he was doing and raising your hips before he pulled on the pants of the garment. He slipped your shoes off and finally removed the article of clothing that made his cheeks blush and pants tighten whenever you wore it. He would eventually tell you that this is how you came to him in his dreams almost every night, all spent and sweaty in that gods-forsaken fabric that gave him the perfect view of what you were wearing beneath.

His focus shifted from your face down your damp skin and he breathed in deeply at the sight of your undergarment. Din almost choked on his breath when your legs parted for a moment, giving him a glimpse of the growing wet patch at the center of the flimsy material.

The Mandalorian wanted nothing more than to worship your body, kiss every part of you and whisper his devotion against your skin as he pleasured you over and over again. He’d spent countless nights imagining what he’d do to you if you were ever naked and willing in his arms and he was damned if he didn’t make sure you were thoroughly spent once he was done with you. He wanted to hear his name fall from your lips and he wanted to swallow your sighs and your moans as he sank into you all night long. And by the gods, he wanted to mark your neck and your arms and your waist, and nothing made him harder than picturing you doing the same to him, biting and nipping at his skin so he could wake up in the morning and watch the evidence of your lo- your touch on him. It didn’t matter that no one else would see those bruises but him and you. He just wanted you, in any way possible, sinking beneath his skin.

And then he heard his voice calling for you over the comm link just outside the room and something snapped deep in his chest. He looked up from you to the open door of his room and listened to the Marshal’s words. Your eyes widened in shock when you saw several emotions pass through Din’s eyes, the most prominent of which was anger, maybe hurt. Of all the times Cobb would ask you to join him for drinks, this was most definitely the worst of them. It didn’t help either that he was laughing over some inappropriate joke one of his friends was saying about your sabacc skills. It wouldn’t be the first time this happened and it certainly wouldn’t be the last but then Din was clenching his jaw tightly before looking down at you and you knew he wasn’t too happy. In fact, you had a pretty good idea which emotion won out and you hated how much it affected you, how wet you became as thoughts of the Mandalorian claiming you as his flooded your mind.

Before you could try and reason with him, attempt to tell him that it was just a game and that the Marshal’s friends were probably just teasing him, Din was standing up and stripping of his long-sleeve shirt, revealing his perfectly chiseled, bronze skin that had your mouth watering within moments. You noticed the few dozen scars littering his beautiful torso and wished you could kiss each one of them, the old ones and the fairly new ones, until they didn’t sting with pain. But Din had different plans for you and he didn’t give you a chance to question him as he took hold of both of your wrists and slammed them above your head. His hold was painful and it should have scared you how quickly his mood changed but you said nothing, looking into his dilated pupils as his nose flared and he growled at you.

“Keep yours hands there,” Din warns you with a piercing look and you gulp loudly before nodding at him in understanding. He removes his hand and kneels on the bed, eyes narrowing at you before they sought after your most private areas. He wasn’t sure where to begin. He’d given this much thought but now that he was here, he realized it was a more difficult decision than he anticipated. He’d longed to wrap his lips around those hardened peaks always teasing him through the chest band, lick them until you cried for him, perhaps begged him to stop because you were sensitive. But then he continued down the lines of your navel and found your parted legs much more inviting.

Now that Din knew how you felt, there was no reason for him to feel jealous. But he couldn't stop himself, wanting to be certain that you knew as well as he who you belonged to. He hated himself for having such primitive thoughts about you. You were your own person that much was made clear early on. But he could hope at your words, couldn’t he? He could hope that you were now his, and that he was yours. Maker, he was always yours. He just couldn’t admit it to himself, his heart reluctant at opening up to another.

Din was lost in thought longer than you liked and you moved your feet towards him, nudging his thigh in hopes of reassuring him that you were right here, in his bed, beneath him and at his mercy. Din’s eyes focused on your again and he looked down at the soft gesture, hands instantly grabbing at your ankles. You jumped at the sudden movement, trying your hardest not to whine at the painful grasp because somewhere deep inside of you, you wanted nothing more than to be marked by him. By his teeth, lips, fingers, any part of him. You didn’t care where you’d bear his touch, you just wanted to see it, touch it in the privacy of the refresher when he wasn’t around.

Din saw the needy look you were throwing him and he knew that you were willing. Willing to go as far as he wanted, willing to completely submit your body and soul to him, willing to do whatever he wished of you.

Before your eyes could flutter closed, Din was pushing your legs wide open and falling in between them while maintaining his gaze on you. He almost smiled when your stomach shook at how feral he probably looked. Leaning forward, he closed his eyes as his mouth latched onto the wet patch forming on the soft fabric of your undergarment, moaning into your cunt as he savored the taste seeping through. You were surprised by the boldness of the action and wished for him to lick your skin instead. But there was something erotic about the desperation behind his actions, wanting to taste you so much that he didn’t care what he was licking.

The thought was gone as soon as it appeared because you felt two fingers stretch beneath the waistband right before he ripped it off of your body, shoving the torn fabric in his nose and taking a long whiff of it before humming in approval. Your eyes widened in surprise at the filthiness of his action, hands shaking above you when he threw your panties expertly into his helmet. The thought of knowing that your scent could potentially stick to the inside of his helmet as he walked around twisted your insides and you whined shamelessly at him, wishing he could just take what he wanted.

“Your sounds belong to me,” Din spoke with a commanding voice as he sank in between your thighs again, his tongue dragging across your folds so deliciously hard until he pulled away, leaving a trail of saliva behind. “Your arousal belongs to me,” his hands went to your thighs and he squeezed, knowing fully well there would be bruises dawning your beautiful, smooth body the following morning. Again, you fought to keep your eyes open, wanting to commit every second to memory but finding it difficult to focus on him and not the pleasure zapping down your back. “And I will be damned if this cunt,” Din let go of one of your thighs, pulling his tongue away from your core right before the palm of his hand landed a slap straight on your clit, “doesn’t belong to me either.” You cried out his name, legs shaking violently at the pain shooting through your clit. Din didn’t give you a moment to relax back down on the covers, spanking the outer folds of your pussy twice more consecutively before he replaced the harsh touch with his cooling tongue. Tears trailed down your cheeks as he fucked you with his tongue and lapped at you like you were the only source of water on this gods-forsaken planet. He rotated between soft, quick licks to long, harsh ones, occasionally sucking on your clit and grazing his teeth on the bundle of nerves until he was sure you were going crazy.

“D-Din oh maker, please. Stop I- slow down.” His touches were far from gentle and the pleasure blurred into pain as you tried to reach that delicious peak you’ve longed for ever since you harbored feelings for the man above you. But he was making it difficult, his needy and erratic movements making it near impossible for you to dive into the lake of pleasure. You should have known that the Mandalorian was as intense in bed as he was in every other aspect of his life. You shut your thighs around his head, wanting to push him away as his teeth continued to graze against your wet folds and nip at the pulsating nub.

“M-Mando...I can’t.” You couldn’t take it anymore, hands moving to his hair and fisting in the beautiful brown locks as you tried to push him away. As soon as Din felt the tight grasp on his hair, he snarled at you, pushing up on his knees and bending your body along with him until the only thing resting on the bed was your neck and your shoulders. You cried out for him, begging him to give you release but it only drove him mad with lust. His eyes locked on yours, daring you to look away from him as his fingers dug into your butt cheeks and pushed your cunt into his mouth.

Din pulled away for a split second, biting your inner thighs to grab your attention.

“You will take what I give you ner Cyar’ika.” You saw a hint of darkness in his soulful brown eyes, and shivered at the mere implications of what he had in mind for you. Din sucked and licked at your folds like a crazed man, feeling your legs shaking on his shoulders. He pulled away for a second, and you had no time to beg him to be gentle as he slapped your heated core three times again, hissing when you shut your eyes and bucked against him, your juices drenching his face and chest, leaking down your back as he smiled before taking your cunt into his mouth one last time to prolong your pleasure. You were too busy trying to remain sane to realize what had just happened and Din slowly lowered you back onto the wet covers before letting go of you. You were panting beneath him, stomach fluttering from the force of your release and chest heaving as you tried to fill your lungs with air.

When you opened your eyes and looked at Din, your eyes widened in horror when you saw his glistening skin, finally realizing what he'd just done to you. You flushed under the scrutiny of Din’s gaze, gasping as he wiped his mouth and jaw with the back of his hand as he looked down and chuckled at the wet spot beneath his knees. You quickly shut your legs and tried to crawl away from him but Din was faster, grabbing your ankle and pulling you back to him, the show of strength already making your cunt clench around nothing again.

“You do not run from me Ad’ika...nor hide from me ever again. I own your body, your skin, the cum still leaking out of this sweet cunt.” His words were filthy and you didn’t know how to react to this new possessiveness he was showing. He pushed open your thighs and fell in between him, bringing his chest flush against yours and kissing the breath out of you, not bothering to be gentle as his fingers twisted and pinched at your nipples. You clawed at his back, wanting more of him but not knowing if you would be able to take any more of what he was offering.

He pulled away suddenly, his jaw clenching tightly as he took one look at the hands wrapped around his back.

“Did I not tell you to not move your hands sweet girl?” He whispered against your lips, breathing in the air leaving your lungs as he pecked the corner of your mouth before flipping you over on your stomach.

“I- I’m sorry...it was just t-too much and-” You couldn’t finish the rest of the sentence, screaming against the covers as you felt Din’s palm land on your ass. You looked back and saw him eyeing your reddening skin, looking up at you and smiling as he treated the other side with the same kindness. Four more times his hands smacked your ass and you were ashamed at how aroused his violent actions made you. When he snuck his fingers in between your thighs and swiped haphazardly at your folds, you moaned and bit into your wrist.

“Filthy sweet girl,” Din whispered more to himself than you before he fisted his hand in your hair and pulled you flush to his chest, the slide of your dampened back against his sweaty chest bringing him more pleasure than he would have liked to admit because not a few hours ago, he was picturing your sweaty, glistening skin beneath him. And now that he had you here, he was going to make the best of it.

“Mando, oh Mando-” As much as he loved hearing you scream his nickname in the throws of passion, he wished more to hear his given name fall from your lips.

“My name...scream my name sweet girl. Let the stars know who pleasures you Cyare.” Din kissed your shoulder before biting into the sweaty flesh, the hand in your hair letting go right before wrapping softly around your throat and pressing you harder against him. Your hands twisted back to try and grab his hair but he immediately took your wrist and twisted it until it was behind you, between your back and his chest.

“Ahh Din…” You wanted to beg him to allow you to touch him, tell him that you were yearning to touch him as much as he was in need of touching you. But you had a feeling that this wasn’t true, and that this was his way of being certain that you weren’t going to leave him. That you were his.

If only he knew that you have already belonged to him. Long before tonight.

You felt each breath leave your lungs as Din tightened his grasp around your throat and you parted your lips to moan his name, only to feel his tongue shamelessly licking into your mouth. So distracted by the desperation in this kiss, you didn’t notice the fingers trailing down your chest and digging into your skin until the palm of his hand softly cupped one breast. Din teased you with feather light touches, flicking at one nipple before moving to the other and circling around it until it hardened. He continued to swallow your noises, sucking on your tongue to quiet you as he pinched your nipples. You twisted in his arms, wanting to reach for him again but knowing that he would probably pull your hand away.

When Din pulled away to allow you to breathe, you panted and finally opened your eyes, not daring to look away as he kept you motionless with his gaze. Din watched as you tried to form a coherent thought, waiting until you parted your lips to speak to him before reaching down and cupping your quivering cunt as he broke the silence.

“This belongs to me,” your breath hitched when Din pressed the palm of his hand against you, not quite applying pressure on your clit but just enough to hold your focus. “Only I get to touch you, kiss you, watch you as you come undone in my arms.” You nodded briefly at him, continuing to hold eye contact as he began to increase his actions. “No one else will ever have you Cyar'ika. No one but me.” He slipped two fingers past your wet folds and rubbed against your walls, humming in approval when he felt you flutter around him the harder he shoved his fingers inside you.

“I’m yours Din, y-yours. Whatever you want, oh gods please more...need more, Din you make me f-feel so good.” Din keened at your words, curling his hand until his palm was passing deliciously over your clit as his fingers picked up the pace.

“That’s right sweet girl, you’re mine. Mine to fuck, mine to take whenever I want...mine to-” Din hesitated for a second, unable to voice his heart to you even though you’ve bared your soul for him. “Pal'vut at kar'taylir darasuum...kriffing gods you’re wet, so wet for me. Come on, cum for me again ner Cyare. Show me how good I make you feel. Show me how needy this little cunt is, fuck- I...can’t want to have you wrapped around my cock little one. Can’t wait to sink in this pussy, my sweet tight cunt, mark you with my seed, over and over again...fuck a load in you all night long till you can’t feel anything but my cum dripping down your thighs. Shit, I need you to cum, now!” Your mind became foggy with pleasure, unable to focus on anything but the words whispered into your ears as his thick fingers fucked into you. You grabbed the wrist of the hand wrapped around your throat, digging your nails into his skin as you came around his fingers. You almost fell forwards but Din held you flush against him, continuing to drive his digits into you and rub at your clit with this thumb until you were sobbing in his arms.

“Beautiful,” Din kissed your shoulder as he slowly inched his hands away from you before laying you down slowly. His eyes took in the flushed, wet skin of your back, chuckling with pride when he saw your legs shaking as little sobs escaped your lips. Your breaths came in shallow and quick, and you tried to silence your whines by biting into your wrists but then you felt Din slide his hand back and forth on your back as he laid next to you and you shivered under his touch because from the way he was moving closer to you and touching you, there was no way he was done just yet.

“You’re all I think about, every waking moment. It’s difficult to focus on anything else when you’re always in my mind Cyar'ika. I- I burn for you, for your lips to caress mine every moment, your eyes to never leave mine as I brand you, your skin against my own as you mark me with your touch. I- maker, I cannot think of a life without you here, with me…” Din thought he would have to force himself to say such things but he found it remarkably easy now that he had you here, responding so openly and shamelessly to him.

“Din,” you turned your head and shifted towards him, kissing the hand resting between the two of you before leaning your forehead against his and shutting your eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here, for as long as you’ll have me.” Din ceased all movement at your words and he looked away from where he was stroking your back, meeting your eyes and furrowing his eyebrows before you felt him grab your arm and pull you on top of him. You surprised gasp died in your throat when you felt Din wrap his arms around your back and bring you against him until you could feel his chest hairs tickling your nipples. You could feel his cock jutting against your core through his pants and as you rested your hands on his chest and looked to him, you saw the frown ease from his expression, replaced with something akin to reverence.

“I will have you until my dying breath Mesh’la. Let me show you how much I want you.” The force of his declaration hit you instantly and you pressed your lips against his just as you felt him rid himself of his pants. Din’s hands were roaming your back and you felt bolder with every caress, combing your fingers into his hair and pulling on it as he squeezed your ass and bucked into you. The growl emanating from his chest shot straight to your core and you raised yourself from him for a moment.

“Din, I want you. Crave to feel you inside me. Please, do it fast and don’t- don’t be gentle. Show me, show me how much you lo- want me.” Din’s heart skipped a beat at your words and he wasted no time, taking hold of his cock and teasing your clit with his leaking tip before slowly inching inside you. You shut your eyes and dug your nails into the back of his neck as he continued to sheath his dick deeper in your cunt. You could feel every ridge and pulsating vein dragging against your inner walls, finally allowing your lungs to breathe as you felt him nudge and twitch against that soft, spongy spot in your core.

Neither of you moved for a few moments, with Din trying to wrap his mind around finally becoming one with you and feeling you clench so sweetly around him. He was torn between fucking up into you without mercy and taking it nice and slow until he pushed you over the edge again. But then you were gyrating your hips and sighing his name on his cheek and he knew what he wanted.

Planting his feet on the damp covers, Din held you flush against him with one arm while resting his other hand on your thigh, nuzzling into the crook of your neck as he snapped his hips up before sinking into you again. You let out a surprised sob and rested your forehead against his shoulder, whispering more pleas against his skin and begging him to move.

The usually quiet man breathed the sweetest wishes in your ears, thrusting up into you with immense force that made you clench tighter around him. “Ni copad gar an te ca'nara Ad’ika, ni vercopa be gar anay ca. You have made a home for yourself inside my heart.” Din felt your shaky breath blow on his neck and it drove him mad with lust because he wanted to have you reacting to his touch so wantonly every minute of every day. His grip only tightened around you and he prayed you wouldn’t mind the bruises that would surely color your skin in the next few hours. He wasn’t planning on being gentle tonight, perhaps later, but not tonight, and he was going to ensure his touch would be visible for anyone that would speak with you tomorrow. Thoughts of the Marshal passed through his mind’s eye and he growled, pumping his cock into you harshly for some reassurance. You cried out his name over and over again, feeling your skin heat up at the declarations of love he was peppering on your skin because even though his words were gentle, his touches were far from it.

The squelching sounds of your cunt flooding Din’s thighs as he drove himself into you should have embarrassed you but you could tell he enjoyed knowing how wet you were for him from the way he continued to quicken the pace just to hear your juices flowing over him. His grip on you was becoming more painful the more you moved against each other but you couldn’t find it in yourself to let him know. He was letting go, showing you how much he wanted you, how hard he was for you, and you weren’t about to make him feel conscious over his affection.

“Maker...oh Din, Din I- you feel so good inside me. Filling me up like no one else. Could feel you so deep, gods, could feel you everywhere Din please- don’t stop. Don’t fucking stop, I need it. Need you, want you- want you to mark me, d-do whatever you want with me.” You had no hold over your own speech and weren’t sure if you were making any sense but Din moaned each time you praised him.

“Good girl, sweet girl...taking my cock so well, kriffing hell. Your- your pussy is squeezing the fuck out of me..could feel every tight inch of you stroking my cock Cyar’ika. Ah pfassk...you’re- you’re perfection.” Din moved the hand around your back up to your neck, pulling on your hair and pressing his lips with yours as his cock throbbed inside you. You whined as his tongue roughly swirled around your own, barely able to breathe as he continued to snap his hips against you and suddenly feeling a rush of relief as his navel rubbed at your clit until you came around him. Din broke the kiss, screaming expletives in his tongue as the force of your orgasm pushed his cock out of you. You shuddered as you gushed on his dick, wrapping your arms around his neck when he forced his cock into your tight cunt again.

You were so overcome with emotions, so lost in Din’s scent mixing with your own, and his touch leaving bruises on your skin, that you didn’t notice the faint sounds of footsteps coming up the ramp and halting in the middle of the ship right in front of the door. But Din noticed, managing to look up just in time to see Cobb standing in the middle of the ship and staring with wide eyes at the scene unfolding in front of him.

Something completely otherworldly took over the Mandalorian and he quickly sat up, expertly moving the two of you around until he was kneeling on the covers with you straddling his thighs. He smiled against your shoulder, allowing your hair to hide his face as he grabbed both of your hips and fucked up into you.

He could vaguely see the Marshal and was surprised that he hadn't dropped the bottle of drink in his hand just yet. You wailed into the night air, arms keeping you stead in Din’s arms as he forced you on his pulsating dick over and over again.

“Tell me...tell me Cyare, tell me how much you love it when I fuck you. How much you need my cock like the filthy little cockslut you are. Go on sweet girl, grind that little clit on me. Fucking tell me ner Ad’ika.” Din smacked your ass twice, chuckling when your moans grew more lewd with every touch he laid on you.

“I- I- ahhh love your cock...oh maker, no one fucks me like you. N-no one makes me c-cum like you. Fuck me harder D- ahhh,” Din bit down on your shoulder to prevent you from saying his name, looking through the mess of your hair and watching as his audience remained incapable of moving.

“I own this pretty little pussy. Pffassk- ride me harder Mesh’la. You’re such a good girl, could feel your cunt drenching my thighs, the smell of you is driving me mad. Fuck- keep that pretty mouth open to me when I’m fucking you, let me hear you scream for me.”

“Please- please...fuck me harder, ruin my pussy. Gods- I..I’m so close please. Tell me you own me, tell me I’m you’re sweet girl. Please- I want to be good for you, want you to cum inside me Din...cum inside me. I need it, need you to fuck me like you own me and mark me, make me yours Mando. Cum in me, please-”

“Ah fuck you’re my sweet little girl aren’t you? Wanting me to fuck a load in you, cum in you all night long and keep my seed in that tight cunt? That’s it sweetheart, I’m so fucking hard for you. Could feel you clenching around me...be a good girl and cum again ner kar'ta. Fuck, yes yes you feel so good wrapped around my cock Cyare you’re going to make me cum. Spill my seed in that tight, wet pussy, fill you up till you can taste it in your throat. Shit, and- and I’m going to keep fucking you sweet girl, till my cum is sliding down your thighs. My little fucktoy- come on, come on love, cum for me. Cum on me, drench me again. Mix your juices with me.” Din watched as Cobb finally had the mind to leave and he almost laughed at how the man almost tripped on his own foot as he sprinted out of the ship. He pushed you on your back and spread your thighs open, resting his weight on the arms around your head as he thrust in a few more times before he felt you clench around him. Leaning down, Din took a pert nipple in his mouth and sucked on it, growling into your skin as he came deep in your pussy, painting your walls with long strings of his seed until he couldn’t breathe. He’d never cum this hard before and was sure to tell you when you had the state of mind to pay him any semblance of attention.

Din continued to lazily push into you, your words from earlier replaying in his mind as he felt you quiver around his softening cock. You were still coming down from your high and twitched occasionally when you felt him throb inside you. There was a pleasant kind of warmth washing over you and you sighed happily when you realized he was still bucking against you to push his cum in your belly.

“D-din...you’re filling me up so good. Feel so full ah- gah.” He laughed when your body shook, wrapping his arms around you and flipping you around until you were laying on his chest. You kissed his jaw and his neck, moaning in unison when you felt his dick rub against that sweet spot inside you.

“That’s because I’ve never cum this hard sweet girl. You’ve milked me dry Cyare. Could feel you sucking my seed out of me.” He was amazed at your obvious embarrassment, wanting to tease you about it but choosing to wait for later instead.

Din rubbed at your back, kissing your forehead as he whispered sweet things in your ears and smiling when you nipped at his neck some more.

“Promise me you’ll never leave.” Din’s quiet voice broke the silence and you pushed up to look into his eyes as you responded. “I’m not going anywhere, even if you tell me to go. I’ll stay here, always. I promise.” You kissed him gently and felt his pulse beneath your fingers calm at your words.

Not much time has passed before Din had you on your knees in front of him, fucking your mouth and shoving you down on his cock until you gagged and his seed slipped from the corner of your mouth, mixing with your spit as it fell down your breasts. You lost count of how many times he brought you pleasure, and you made a mental note to ask him how he managed to fuck you all night long. You weren’t sure it was possible for a man to cum this many times over the course of one night but you had a feeling Din was not like anyone else. A man who has been touch starved for almost three decades must have had a lot of pent-up aggression that he needed to release. And you would gladly help him in any shape or form through that.

And when he wasn’t pumping your cunt full of his cum, he was nuzzling into your neck and laying kisses across your arms, making sure he caressed every inch of your skin. You shouldn’t have been surprised that Din loved to snuggle with you but you did find it hilarious that such a big and scary Mandalorian whimpered when you licked down his neck as you nestled into his arms. You wouldn’t tell him just yet but besides his rough grasps and his filthy words, you loved to taste the saltiness of his skin and from the looks of it, the feelings were mutual because at some point in the night, he’d told you of all the times he had to lock himself up in the refresher and try his hardest to not think of your sweaty limbs entangling with his own as he kissed you.

By the time the two of you made it outside the following day, the twin suns had already been in the middle of the sky, scorching rays of heat on everyone across Mos Pelgo. You tried your hardest not to walk too funny, mostly because it made Din apologize every now and then, but it was difficult when you could still feel traces of his touch on you. You told him you needed him to stop making it obvious but realized he was apologizing out of regret not out of humor. It took you all of the afternoon to convince him that you were feeling more than okay and that you’d asked him for this. And when he didn’t seem to stop, you teased him and told him that you knew he secretly loved watching you wobble from side to side.

This all, however, peaked when you walked into the cantina and tried to play Sabbac with Cobb Vanth and the others. You could tell that the Marshal was avoiding all conversation with you, going out of his way to pretend you weren’t even sitting on the table, let alone the room. You hoped that Mando hadn’t spoken with him or anything and decided to call it quits earlier in the night. When you did make it back to the ship and saw Din cleaning his weapons, you made sure the ship was secure before moving to sit on the bed across from him.

“Did you talk to Cobb today?” You gauged his reaction, already sensing that something was wrong when you saw him nervously clench his jaw before rubbing furiously at the beskar weapon.

“No, why do you ask?” Din wished he hadn’t already taken off his helmet because as soon as he responded, you knew he wasn’t telling you the whole truth.

“Din?”

He looked up at you and cleared his throat before speaking.

“He- he saw us...last night. I- I must have forgotten to raise the ramp and-” Din took a deep breath when you shot up from the cot and began to pace back and forth.

“HE WHAT?”

“We were...I couldn’t- there wasn’t a chance I could…you felt too good around me Ad’ika I- I couldn’t stop. Not when you were clenching around me so tightly. Now when you were finally in my arms. I-” He stood up and walked towards you, taking your hands into his and kissing both of your wrists. You flushed at his words and looked up at him, only to find him blushing under your gaze.

“You did it on purpose didn't you? You wanted him to see...to watch as you- as we...as I said-” Din didn’t let you finish the sentence, leaning down and molding his lips with yours as he walked you back to his bed. He pushed you down on the covers still holding your scents, his hold hardening the more you moaned against him. Before he could strip you of your clothes, you pushed him off and stuck out your finger in warning.

��Oh no you don’t. Go raise the ramp.”

“You’re giving me orders now Mesh’la?” Din raised an eyebrow at you as he got off of you and walked around the bed, halting at the doorstep to look back at you.

“Never…”

Translations:

Ad'ika - Little one

Mesh'la - Beautiful

Cyar'ika - Darling/Sweetheart

Cyare - Beloved

Ner - my/mine

Pal'vut at kar'taylir darasuum - mine to love

Ni copad gar an te ca'nara - I want you all the time.

Ni vercopa be gar anay ca - I dream of you every night.

Ner kar'ta - my heart

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