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#granted sam had a bit more of a valid reason to believe he was going to die but ghHKGJhkjhjk
willosword · 6 months
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this is a very obviously telegraphed narrative thread but since i haven't seen anyone talk about it yet i gotta mention how much i liked the little full-circle connection between sam and his skull story. how he originally couldn't fathom giving up control of his own life like that, but when he got bit that pragmatist part of him took over and he essentially manifested his own death in a very similar way
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ladylilithprime · 2 months
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History Never Repeats
Series: Fluffy Faerie Tales
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sastimmy/Jamstiel (Jimmy Novak/Sam Winchester/Castiel), past Dean/Lydia, past Sam/Jess
Rating: Teen and Up
Tags/Warnings: Half-Fae Sam Winchester, Half-Fae Dean Winchester, Jimmy and Castiel Are Twins, Selkie Jack Kline, Sam Winchester Is Jack Kline's Adopted Father, Sentient Baby/Impala, Brief Allusions to Canon-Typical Violence, Child Death, Baby's Backstory Is Really Tragic Y'all, Protective Dean Winchester, Faerie Name Conventions, Allosexual Dean Winchester, Minor Acephobia/Virgin-Shaming
Summary: Ceridmael had perfectly valid reasons for going off on his brother's little human pets after they nearly got him killed in an alicorn attack. He may have been lacking all of the facts when he did, though.
For: @fluffyfebruary challenge!
Prompt: Day 24: Apology
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THE WORST THING about apologies when you were a faerie was that you actually had to mean them.
Granted, being a faerie also meant that you got very good at playing by the exact letter of your agreements and not a bit more, something for which Ceridmael, the Iron Prince of the Summer Court, was well known. Unfortunately for him, his younger brother Serendderch also knew it and tended to account for it whenever making bargains with Cer growing up, and he had taught their youngest brother Arianwaladr. For all Cer had a silver tongue, Seren and Ari were absolute rules lawyers well before the term came into common parlance.
The thing was, Cer was a Seelie prince, albeit a half-human one. He was used to putting on a strong front and proving himself over and over and over again. As a prince, he didn't apologize, because he had to be very, very careful to never be in the wrong, and if he ever was? He had to make the other person believe he wasn't, or make a quick getaway until tempers coolled and the other person either forgot about how bad it was or just stopped being angry enough for him to distract them with a gift and a funny story that swept the whole thing under the rug. It worked on his mother and brothers nineteen times out of twenty, and the outlier was usually something spectacular that even Cer had to admit he had messed up.
He was also very used to being the one who had to take care of his little brothers, especially Seren, from the moment they were laid in his arms as pink and squalling newborns with delicate leaf-pointed ears just like his. His number one foundational touchstone, as charged by his father: "Take care of your brother." So when something happened that he couldn't protect one of them from, it always felt like a rip in the core of his being and, like a wounded wolf, he lashed out. He had lashed out at that creepy fucker styling himself as a demon king that had made an appearance during Seren's time away that he hated to think about, and Seren had mostly forgiven him for it, at least enough to let him pretend the horned asshole didn't exist. And he had lashed out at the little human pets whose literally virgin asses had made them tasty beacons for the alicorns and gotten Seren run through by one of those damned cloven-hooved, flesh-eating ponies from the abyss.
Only this time Seren wasn't inclined to forgive him without an apology. Cer had left when his injured and pale brother had yelled at him to get out before he got up off his sickbed and threw him out, not wanting to risk Seren reopening his wounds, and he had figured that he'd give it a few months for Seren to calm down and realize he was right, that the little human pets who'd got him hurt weren't worth the hassle and the estrangement, and they could go back to normal.
But he hadn't.
And then Seren had gotten their mother involved. Cer could have gotten around a territory ban from Seren because, skilled mage or not, he was still Cer's younger brother. But their mother was a full-blooded faerie princess with four more millennia under her belt than either of them, and for some reason she had decided to take Seren's side. Her ban from his little brother's territory was much stronger, and had resulted in Baby stalling out when they had hit the bridge to get onto Seven Mile Island. Seren had driven out with that other human he had hired, the redheaded lesbian their cousin Gilda had had a fling with, and Seren had laid down the conditions while the girl had gotten Baby back up and running, talking to her the whole time. Apparently she had told Baby what was going on, because his darling girl had spun her radio dial to Metallica's "Unforgiven" for seventy-six miles before switching to dubstep.
Cer had missed spending Midsummer with his brother because Seren expected him to genuinely apologize to those pathetic pieces of monster bait, and he wasn't welcome in Seren's territory until he did.
The other thing was, Cer had actually kind of liked the twins when he had first met them. Jimmy was personable enough and a decent cook to boot, and anybody who made cookies that looked and tasted like mini pies the way Cas could was usually guaranteed to be golden in Cer's book. He had actually thought Seren had been trying to hook him up with Cas after tasting those cookies, and it had been a bit of a shock to find out that no, it was his little brother making time with not just one twin but both. Except that "making time" seemed to be missing a few key steps if they were throwing up the all you can eat signal for a carnivorous quadruped that was drawn to virgins for the taste. Not that Cer got that, either, but still! What was the point of saving those two fine asses at the risk of his own if Seren wasn't even going to tap 'em?
The question, when he voiced it to Catrin while borrowing her liquor cabinet, earned him a smack upside the head.
"Pull your head out of your hormones and ask yourself that question again, genius," she told him tartly. "Absent sex and the fact that Sam probably would have done the same damn thing if it had been that kid of his at risk, what reason would he have to put their lives above his own?"
"Oh come on, Cadi," Cer rolled his eyes. "They're human! Sure, they're a bit more accepting of the magical population than most, but Seren's not that stupid!"
"Watch it," Cadi growled, waving her wooden spoon at him. "Don't forget my husband is a human, as is your own father!"
"Yeah, well, they're exceptions that prove the rule," Cer muttered. "Most humans are cowardly magiphobes who can't handle the idea of hooking up long term with another species. Hell, a lot of them get weird about hooking up with someone who's got more or less melanin than them! Seren's known these two bozos, what, since this February?"
"And he commissioned my help in making them a pair of matching jackets out of the hide of the alicorns he killed defending them with a lining of alpaca and silk that he knit himself," Cadi said, leaning back against the counter. "He gifted those jackets to them last month, and they proposed to him in return."
"So?" Cer scoffed. "He spends six or seven decades playing house with them if he's lucky and then I have to pick up the pieces after he buries them, so what?"
"Idunn gave them two of her apples last week," Cadi told him flatly, grabbing for the paper towels to clean up the spray of whiskey. "That's what. So you had better think real hard and real fast about that apology if you want to get to see Sammy get married."
"Shit," Cer muttered, and poured himself another drink.
The thing about apologies as a faerie was that you had to actually mean them to even get out the words because, half-human or not, an outright lie was still impossible to force across your tongue and past your lips. And damn it, Cer was having a really hard time mustering up honest regret for how he had reacted. Seren had been impaled and could have been killed, and it would have been their fault for being out in the middle of the street during an alicorn incursion! That wasn't "casting blame on innocent people" or whatever Seren had said; that was fact!
"And what the hell kind of example is this setting for that kid of his anyway?" Cer muttered under his breath. "You don't jump into a relationship with someone you just fucking met!"
The radio clicked off. Cer only had a moment to really be thankful for the reprieve from dubstep before it clicked back on again. "...There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how..."
"You know you can talk to me about anything, babygirl," Cer protested, frowning. Limitations of her physical form aside, Baby never had a problem with making herself understood. Case in point, her habit of taking over the radio for her own purposes, even overriding his attempts to use the tape deck.
There was a rustle of static, and then the music came back with, "...by now, you should've somehow realised what you're not to do...."
Cer sighed. "You know why, Baby." Hell, Baby was a pretty big part of why Cer thought Seren should know better than to get so attached to a couple of humans he barely knew that he'd marry them, especially if they'd gone and somehow gotten ahold of two of Idunn's big time guarded super special Apples of Immortality! It had been devastating enough when Lydia had turned out to be the kind of woman who would throw her own baby across the room against a wall when she saw pointed ears because the damn nurses hadn't let Cer into the delivery room in time to glamour her to look human like he did himself, and they'd been together for two years at that point!
"...Papa I know you're... upset..."
"C'mon, Baby, Madonna?" Cer rolled his eyes. He had thought he'd managed to teach his daughter an appreciation for proper music.
There was a burst of static like a sigh, then, "...'Cause I was always your little girl/But you should know by now/I'm not a baby..."
Cer grimaced. "Fine, Emma, you know why I have good reason to think Seren's being stupid about this."
"...You always taught me right from wrong... daddy please be strong/I may be young at heart/But I know what I'm saying..."
"You've got a few more decades before you know more than me about love, young lady," Cer huffed, tapping the steering wheel pointedly.
The radio dial swiveled dramatically, and then burst out, "...Mama, ooh... I don't wanna die/I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all..."
"No, no, Baby, Emma, please don't even think that!" Cer shouted, clutching at the steering wheel desperately. "Please, kiddo, you being conceived and born was a treasured gift, and your mom never should've tried to take it away from us. Her being scared and stupid is not your fault!"
The radio clicked off sharply. Silence reigned, just the sound of Baby's engine and the road beneath her wheels for a long moment. Then the radio clicked back on. "...My life's a spectacle, a sad story... I know you had your dreams of a better life/This time we ain't making it through..."
"That's not your burden to bear, sweetheart," Cer murmured, stroking the steering wheel with his thumb. "Stars and supernovas, kiddo, that shouldn't ever weigh you down, and I wish I could spare you that... I wish I'd been faster...."
"....If I'm laden at all/I'm laden with sadness/That everyone's heart/Isn't filled with the gladness/Of love for one another/It's a long, long road/From which there is no return/While we're on the way..."
Yeah... his baby girl never liked it when her family was fighting. Cer had done his best to keep her from being exposed to more violence than the occasionally unavoidable road rage, but he and Seren were both stubborn, opinionated immortals and arguments happened. For Baby's sake, they usually cleared it up quickly, and the fact that Seren was actually putting his foot down and getting their mom involved was honestly a very clear sign of how strongly he felt about it this time.
"...Maybe we can try it if you let me/Take you by the hand... who understands... it's time... I'll admit that I'm scared/'Cause I've never really cared as much as this/It's worth the risk..."
Cer snorted. "A little disjointed there, kiddo. You trying to say I should just go talk to Seren's humans and see if they're really gonna be a good fit for him in spite of evidence to the contrary?"
"...You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way..."
One little problem with that plan. "You know what's gonna happen the moment we set foot or wheel on the bridge," he warned her. His mother's mojo was no joke, after all.
"....Call me, beep me/If you wanna reach me..."
"Who the hell is playing Kim Possible on the radio?" Cer huffed, rolling his eyes. Still, point taken. He pulled out his cell phone and, after a moment's hesitation, dialed the number for Lighthouse CommodiTeas.
The phone rang twice before clicking with the connection as someone picked up. "Lighthouse CommodiTeas, how can I help you?"
Well, that was easy. It was one of the twins, though without seeing them he couldn't tell which one. "Is your brother nearby?"
"Ye-es? Did you wanna talk to him, or...?" came the hesitant answer, sounding rather bewildered. Jimmy, then. Cas tended to sound more like a deadpan robot for some reason.
"Can you get him so you're both on the line?" Cer asked, absently drumming his fingers against the steering wheel before a crackle of static from the radio made him stop. "I only wanna say this once, and since I can't set foot over there until I do it's gotta be like this."
There was a long moment of silence, and then Jimmy said in a carefully neutral tone, "Please hold."
There was an odd click like the phone receiver being set down on a flat surface, and Cer could hear the background bustle and murmur of customers and drinks being ordered and made for several long seconds that he tried not to count. He had reached seven four times before there was a clatter of the receiver being picked up again and Jimmy's voice was back.
"Alright, Dean," he said in that same controlled neutral tone. "We're both listening."
"I need to tell you both a little story first," he said, leaning back into the warm, supportive embrace of the driver's seat and closing his eyes, trusting his baby girl to keep them steady on the road. "About a faerie in hiding and the woman he wanted to marry."
"Sam told us about Jessica," came the more flat tones he knew belonged to Cas.
That was actually very interesting that Seren had been willing to open up about his almost wife from three hundred years ago, and good to know, but... "Her name was Lydia," he said, bypassing the topic of Jess for a moment. "And about a year into our relationship she got pregnant with my child."
There was a sharp inhale of breath, but whichever twin had done so, the one who spoke next was calm. "We're listening."
"Everything was fine up until the day our child was gonna be born," Cer went on, reaching up to scrub at his eyes. "This was back before things like ultrasound were really taking off, so up until then I had just been using an illusion on the image, same way I had a glamour hiding the fact I wasn't human. Didn't want the docs and nurses freaking out, right? And it wasn't gonna matter since I'd be right there in the delivery room when our kid was born... but then she went into labor while I was at work and the nurse wouldn't let me in 'cause we weren't married. So I wasn't there when the screaming started.
"Her family was Lutheran," he added, a little inanely. "That's not an excuse for what she did, but you two were raised Catholic so you can probably guess what must've happened when our kid came out with pointed ears where everyone could see. The nurses couldn't stop me busting in the door at that point, and... well, long story short, I only had a few seconds to rescue my baby girl's soul before her body died, and a 1967 Chevy Impala with enough personal connection to tie her to. And a lot of rage to work out." He swallowed. The radio was silent. "That was only forty six years ago, and I'd been with Lydia for nearly two years when she tried to kill our baby girl. If you know about Jess, you know how long Sammy mourned her after being with her for three years. You've only known him seven months."
There was silence from the other end of the line, and Cer wondered if he had finally cracked those stubborn human twins. Then Cas spoke up softly. "Jimmy and I have met Geth. He told us his full name without hesitation, and permitted us to hug him when we said goodnight after our meeting. That meeting was what convinced Sam to show us his true form beneath his own glamour for the first time."
"You know we only exist because our mother thought we were a changeling?" Jimmy said, almost conversationally. Cer blinked his eyes open and frowned. Had he heard that right? "She went to church every night for weeks praying for an angel to come take the changeling monster away and bring back her real, normal son. She didn't know about the enchanted blocks of wood, and autism didn't look very normal to her twenty-two years ago. And thanks to your brother, the only ones who actually remember we weren't born twins are the two of us, our mom, and the angel who split us apart. We get being judged for something we can't help. It happens every day, and we're human."
"Mostly," Cas added. "Did you know normal apple seeds have cyanide in them? That was the most daunting part to eat."
So they had already eaten the apples. Seren wouldn't be losing them to old age or disease, and only something really determined to kill them would even stand a chance... assuming Seren didn't kill it first, or train them to do it themselves. And they apparently had the guts to literally embrace Cer's brother's more dickish other half and not get vivisected for it. "Okay. For whatever it's worth to you, while I'm not sorry for trying to protect my brother, I am sorry for letting my issues keep me from getting to know you well enough before as more than just two more humans with the power to hurt him." At the burst of static from the radio, he huffed, "Look, that's the best I can do right now, okay? I can't get to know them if I can't get near them!"
"It'll do," Jimmy said, a hint of a laugh in his voice.
"For now," Cas added, more flatly. "We will expect to see the accompanying change in behavior when you arrive. Which will be?"
"...walk five hun-dred miles..."
"'Bout eight hours or so," Cer translated for Baby. "Assuming this was good enough for Mom's curse, anyway."
"Guess you'll find out when you get here," Jimmy said.
And really, Cer supposed that was fair enough.
Notes:
The songs Baby uses to communicate with Dean are, in order:
"Wonderwall" by Oasis
"Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna
"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
"Hold Me Down" by Daniel Ceasar
"He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies
"Understand" by Keshi
"Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman
The "Kim Possible" theme song
"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by the Proclaimers
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diaryofabeautyfiend · 3 years
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In Session
This one is a doozy. Warnings: m/f sex, over stimulation, multiple orgasms, voyeurism, male masturbation, cum eating, use of mutant abilities in a sexual situation. 18+ please!
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The three of you have been home for a couple of weeks now and, unfortunately for poor Bucky, the pixie dust has worn off. All Steve has to do is breathe near you and you go off. He has apologized and apologized but you refuse to let it go. Steve tries to be patient with you. He accepts that what he said gutted you. He is trying to make it up to you but you rebuke all of his attempts.
Quite frankly the whole thing gives Bucky anxiety. As soon as he hears “You know what, Steve?” He reaches for the antacids. In two weeks he was leaving for a semi long trip with Sam and Nat. He needed to set you on the path to healing before he left you two alone. That’s why he hijacked you both and brought you to his therapist.
Dr. Coleman is far more gentle than his VA therapist. She specializes in PTSD and has worked with many first responders and members of law enforcement. She also helps couples to reacclimate following traumatic experiences. Bucky thought that, with the amount of trauma the three of you had suffered, she would be perfect to help.
Neither of you were pleased to be there. The doctor spoke ok Bucky’s behalf at the start of the session. “Steve, Y/N. I’m so glad you’re here. This is an important first step on the path to healing. You are here for each other as much as you are here for yourselves. What we know is the three of you love each other very much. I would like you to keep that in the front of your minds as we go through this journey. I do have a few ground rules. First, we will not raise our voices or become physical here or at home. Second, we will not resort to name calling. Third, we will not shut down when confronted. We will speak on our feelings. Can I gain your agreement on those rules?” You all nodded. “Wonderful. I just need the two of you to sign some consent forms and we’ll be on our way.”
You hated therapists of any kind. You never had a good experience. Grant it, your only experiences were forty something years ago. You were sure there were advances. Still, you were wary of this woman. She does seem to help Bucky. If this is what he needed, you’d do it for him. When she asked Steve to speak first you nearly gagged.
“Steve, tell me why you think we’re all here today.”
He sighed loudly and spoke in a monotone voice like he was in trouble in the principal’s office. “We’re here because our bickering is upsetting Buck.”
“Ok. Can you tell me why you and Y/N have been bickering so much lately?”
“Because he’s impossible to live with.” You said not so under your breath. Steve was quick to react but Dr. Coleman stopped him.
“Y/N, you will have your turn to speak. Please give Steve the courtesy of having his time uninterrupted.” Steve smirked at you. You wanted to reach over and slap him in his smug face but Bucky rested his hand over yours.
“We’re bickering because I said a horrible thing to Y/N and she refuses to forgive me.”
“Right. And what did you say?” Fuck it was like pulling teeth.
“I told her in the heat of an argument that I didn’t want a whore for a wife. But I said I didn’t mean it and that I was sorry. She refuses to move on.”
Dr. Coleman listened to both of your sides and gave you some short term and long term goals. She asked you to open the door for better communication. She understood why you were so upset, especially since his admission was premeditated. She tasked Steve with finding a way to come to terms with what you do. Now that he knows why he feels the way he does, it is time to confront those feelings as his own and stop projecting them onto you. She also suggested that, while Bucky was gone, the two of you should do couple things. Your love was not linked exclusively through Bucky.
The three of you left feeling a little lighter. You made promises to each other and you intended to keep them. The couple of weeks leading up to Bucky’s trip were fine. There was something hanging in the air that made Bucky nervous. Like you two were just waiting for him to leave so you could unload on each other. Steve promised he wouldn’t make faces when you left for your appointments. You promised not to snap at him over every little thing. He didn’t believe either of you.
The night before he left, Steve fell asleep on the couch. You were already in bed half asleep yourself. It was rare when you had alone time. When they were in deep Avengers mode, you cherished your privacy. Maybe it was time to start thinking of getting a bigger place.
Bucky came out of the shower still warm and a little damp. He smelled like cedar and fresh rain. He dropped his towel and slipped under the covers. Compared to him your skin felt cool when you pressed your bare ass against him. “You’re so warm, daddy.”
“I needed that hot shower after the training session Steve and I had. I wore him out.”
“Mmmm. I bet you did. Did you fuck in the gym again?”
His laugh rumbled against your back. “Not this time. Should I go wake him?”
“No. We haven’t had a moment alone since he moved in. This is gonna sound disgusting but I kind of like it when you’re sweet with me.” You didn’t have to say anymore. He slid his hands under your arms to palm your breasts and pressed gentle kisses along your neck and spine. With his knee he parted your legs so he could stroke your warmth. You whined in his mouth when he ran your slick over your clit. He took his time pumping his fingers inside of you coaxing tiny whimpers and moans out of your body. “Fuck me, Jamie.”
You had never called him Jamie during sex until you told him you loved him. His name falling from your lips became his favorite sound. You invoked him like you were invoking God praying for peace. Your cunt fluttered and squeezed his cock bringing you both to your end. “I love you, Jamie.”
“Oh my…I love you too, baby. I’m gonna miss you so much.” He stayed inside of you keeping his spend deep inside of your channel and fell asleep. Sam would be there early.
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Your calendar was pretty full the first week Bucky was gone. Most of your appointments were during the day. Steve was back and forth between the apartment and compound. You settled into a pleasant routine like a normal couple with typical careers and predictable schedules. You even got through a meeting when a realtor without a single clenched jaw.
“Do you have time for lunch?” He was so hopeful. You promised Bucky.
“Yeah. I think so.” He took your hand and held it all the way to a cute little spot down the street. “I like this neighborhood. Not far from the subway. Walkable.”
“I like it too. I’ve seen a ton of kids out and about.” That made you want to cringe but you held it in. None of you have had the cliche conversation about your futures. Since you were the only one who could bear children, you figured you should speak up.
“Do you want kids?” You kept your eyes on your salad.
“Yeah. I really do. Have you um, been checked out? Can you have children?” God this was awkward.
“I can. I wonder if Hydra has successfully bred a serum baby. Like, it altered our DNA. I wonder what would happen.” His brow furrowed. He really hadn’t thought about that.
“I will have to look into it. That’s something we need to know I guess. Why do we feel so weird around each other?”
“Right?!” You were so glad he felt it too.
“Are you ever going to forgive me?” He asked so quiet and quickly that you almost didn’t hear.
“Before I answer that question can I ask a question?” He nodded. “Why are you ok with me having your babies but not being your wife? I know in therapy you said it scared you and you didn’t care for my clients. I get all of that. Those are valid things. I can’t help but think you don’t like the optics.” That was the million dollar question. Could Captain America be out as polyamorous? You felt like Steve might be a closet Republican. Most of the republicans that were your clients were the biggest freaks.
“There’s nothing our media team can’t spin. I’m not embarrassed by you and Buck. My reasons for disliking your job are exactly what I said. I feel like being out about our relationship puts a target on your back.”
“But that’s not what you said, Steve. You said ‘I don’t want a whore for a wife’. That implies something completely different. I like what I do. Those rich assholes and politicians put money in my purse. A lot of my clients are like us. Freaks of nature. They can’t have normal relationships. I help them. I don’t judge their abilities or physical mutations. We just fuck and they feel normal for a while. Like the guy I’m seeing tonight. He just wants to feel normal.”
Steve was quiet for the rest of lunch. You gave him a lot to think about. He had no idea you saw yourself as a freak of nature or that you saw him that way. Everyone celebrated what Steve was but essentially threw you away. The people on your client list who he saw as villains have been tossed out by the society he swore to protect. He guessed he jumped the shark a bit by even bringing up marriage. Not like you were there yet.
You and Bucky seemed to have a don’t ask don’t tell policy regarding your situation. That was not Steve. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he knew without a doubt that you were safe. Tonight he will follow you. If he ever wanted to move passed his own feelings, he had to know.
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Tonight you were seeing Erik Lensherr which meant you had to be prepared for anything. He never beat you like other idiots did. He wasn’t stupid. Why hit you when it doesn’t hurt? He liked to really bring you to the brink of pain with pleasure. Sometimes he edged you for hours. He loved when you were a drooling sobbing mess begging for relief. That’s what turned him on. After sessions with him, you always took the following day off.
You and Steve had dinner together. You were both much more relaxed. He sat in the bathroom while you got ready. You picked a dress and made sure to have lots of mascara on. Mascara tears were Erik’s favorite. While you put on your jewelry, he stood behind you and kissed your shoulders. You missed his touch. You leaned in and let him put his hands on you.
“You look beautiful, honey.” he said against the back of your neck.
“Thank you. Why don’t you take the day off tomorrow? We can stay in bed all day.”
He smiled that beautiful sunshine smile at you that made your insides liquid. “Really? Does that mean you forgive me?”
You giggled, “No. It means I want to get reacquainted. Forgiveness is not so easy for me. Maybe if you ever put a ring on it, I’ll forgive you.”
“I’ll take it. Will you be out late?” He kissed his way down your neck.
“I’m not really sure. If I know I won’t be coming home I’ll text you. I wouldn’t wait up.” You allowed him to really kiss you. My lord Steve Rogers is an amazing kisser. He is confident and strong in his movements. He kisses with his whole body. Hands roam your back and and shoulders while he presses your body into his. His eyes barely close, making his lashes flutter on the tops of his cheeks. And he softly moans which drives you crazy. Well, at least Erik won’t have to warm you up.
“I love you. Be safe. Call me if absolutely anything is off. Promise.”
“Yes, sir. I love you, too.”
He gave you a thirty second head start before he followed you on his bike. You met Erik at a beautiful brownstone. He held the door for you and kissed both of your cheeks. Steve saw him pour you a drink and direct you to the sofa by the small of your back. You looked comfortable enough. It was clear the two of you were friends. Then, he sat next to you. His movements became predatory. He always kept his hands on you.
Soon he was taking your drink and leading you up the stairs. It was the moment of truth. He could walk away satisfied that you were safe or climb the fire escape to watch. The thought of seeing you in flagrante was turning him on way more than he should have been. Option B it was.
He climbed to the second story where he sat stock still in a darkened corner. The window was cracked a bit so he could hear everything.
The two of you kissed passionately. Erik’s hands found your zipper and made quick work of shedding your dress. He pushed you to the bed which was decorated by an ornate metal head and footboard. He raised his hand and part of the bed broke off bending around your wrists to bind you.
“Too tight, Princess?”
“No, sir.” Next he attached a spreader bar to your ankles springing your legs open wide. “Color?”
“Green.” Your voice was steady but your breath was heaving in your chest. Steve wondered if it was nerves or excitement.
Erik knelt beside you and stroked your face. “How many times shall I make my Princess cum tonight hmm? Shall we try for six?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl.” He produced a string of metal balls from his pocket and popped them one by one into your mouth. His lips were on yours again. His tongue moved the balls around your mouth clacking them on your teeth. When he was satisfied with their saturation he pried your mouth open with his thumb and removed them. He parted your folds and sunk the balls into your dripping hole one by one. His fingers danced swirling the orbs inside of your cunt. Your back arched off the bed. “Does that feel good, Princess?”
“Yes , sir. So good.”
“Excellent. Princess, I want you to count out loud each time you come. I will edge you for one hour if I don’t hear you.”
“Ah! Yes, sir.” The coil in your belly was building. Erik smiled down on your writhing body. You tried to bring your thighs together but the bar was made of steel. Unless you focused you couldn’t break it.
“Look at you. I bet if I touched you even a little you would cum.” He ran his index finger lightly over your clit and you fell apart.
“One! Oh my…one.” You moaned and that beautiful sound went right to Steve’s cock. He stroked himself outside of his pants at first. He wanted to last as long as you. It would be difficult.
“Good girl. That’s my good, Princess. Doing so well.”
He kept the balls swirling while he licked a stripe up your cunt. His lips closed over your clit. Your hips bucked wildly against his face. You threw your head back against the bed and screamed, “Fuck! Two!”
He pressed the pads of his fingers over your clit and rubbed furiously. “Three” you whimpered.
He smacked your pussy hard. “Didn’t hear you, love.”
“Three, sir.”
“You getting tired on me? You have three more. Color, darling.”
“Green, sir.”
“Oooh. She’s being a warrior tonight. Give me one more in my mouth and I’ll take two on my cock.”
“Yes, sir.”
He went back to licking your snatch. You were sonsensitive. His big hands held you still while he licked and nibbled. Steve leaned on the railing panting. He couldn’t take it anymore. He unsheathed his throbbing member and wrapped it tight in his fist.
You got to four and tears started streaking your face. Erik pulled out the balls and tossed them aside. You mewled at the emptiness in your pussy. Erik undressed. When his cock was free he ran the leaking tip around the hole pushing in ever so slightly. The stretch made you cry out.
“So wet for me. You’re leaking and I haven’t even pushed all the way in. Do you want more?” You nodded so he pulled away. “Use your words or you won’t get to cum.”
“More please, sir. I need it.” He slammed into you letting his pelvis hit your clit hard.
“Was that five, my darling?”
“N…no, sir. M’so close.”
“Give it to me.” His hips pumped faster and faster. You screamed and nearly arched yourself in half.
“Fiiiiive. Yellow, sir.”
“Oh you feel so good around my cock. One more and then I’ll paint your belly and tits.”
Steve pumped his fist in time with Erik’s hips. When you came the sixth time, so did he. Hot ropes of cum dribbled onto his hand. He kept stroking while Erik finished.
“Think you can go for seven? It would make me so proud.” You were much too sensitive.
“Red! Red red red.” Erik pulled out immediately and jerked himself all over your belly and breasts. Out of breath he fell over onto the bed next to you. You looked wrecked. With a wave of his hand your wrists were free. He undid the spreader and kissed you deeply.
“Water, Princess?”
“Yes, please.” He brought you a glass and held it to your lips. He tossed you your dress. You didn’t clean yourself up. That was part of the scene. You went home still sticky with his cum. Steve was feral at the thought of licking another man’s seed off of you. He made it down and onto his bike before you got to the door.
You took your payment and kissed Erik goodbye.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Steve made it into the house moments before you. He changed his clothes and acted like he had been home all night. His heart thumped loud in his ears when he heard your keys in the door.
“Hey, honey. Didn’t expect you so early.” You patted him on the head as you limped into the bathroom.
“Need a shower.”
“Can I join you?” The thought of cumming again nearly made you cry.
“Yes, but only to shower.” He jumped up and followed you. You shook out your hair and went to unzip your dress but his hands were there already.
“You look so pretty right now. All fucked out. You were such a good girl tonight.” Every nerve in your body prickled. He kissed down your neck and the top of your spine.
“Steve, did you follow me?” Your voice was low. Your expression unreadable.
“Are you mad? I just wanted peace of mind. I got a lot more than that. I’m not saying I’ll be ok every time. But, if I’m honest, I’ve been thinking about licking that cum off of you.” Your whole body went warm. A smirk pulled at the corner of your lips as you edged down your dress.
“Did you like what you saw, sweet boy?”
“Mmm. Very much.”
“Did you make yourself cum watching us?”
“I did.” He ground his hard cock into your ass cheek.
“I’m so sticky. Clean me up before we shower.” He knelt in front of you and licked all of the dried cum off of your belly. “Mmm. Good boy.”
“I need to be inside of you so bad. Please can I fuck you?”
“Please fuck me, Steve.”’ He brought you into the shower and soaped you up. After the two of you were clean he kissed you fiercely. He lifted your hips and drove into you. “I can’t wait until Jamie gets home so I can tie you to the chair while he fucks my brains out. Wanna watch Jamie fuck me, sweet boy?” He moaned loudly.
“Yes, ma’am. Wanna watch him pound this pretty pussy.” It wasn’t long before you both lost it.
You got into bed and stretched out on his chest. “Y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“I had no idea I would like that.”
You giggled, “We learn something new about ourselves every day.” You both completely passed out.
The next morning Bucky got home early. He was shocked that Steve wasn’t already up. He found the two of you sleeping soundly. He nearly cried at how content you were. Steve opened his eyes and pressed his finger to his lips. Bucky got undressed and crawled in behind you. He pressed a kiss onto your shoulder and laid an arm across your back. He and Steve laced their fingers together.
“Did you make up?” He whispered.
“Something like that. It’s a long story.” You stirred a little.
“Jamie?”
“I’m home, baby doll. Go back to sleep.” He kissed you again and pulled the covers over you.
“K. Steve’s a kinky freak.” You buried your face into Steve to shield you from the sun streaming in from the curtains.
Bucky raised an eyebrow and smiled. Steve kept his eyes closed. “What the fuck happened?”
“Get some sleep. I promise we’ll show you later.” He kissed the back of Bucky’s hand and fell back to sleep. Bucky forced himself to close his eyes. He couldn’t imagine what was going to happen but he couldn’t wait to find out.
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lazyliars · 3 years
Text
/rp
DreamXD actually slots very nicely into a working theory I've had for about two or so months now, mainly centering around one question:
What happened to Dream?
Namely, why did Dream change, when exactly did it happen, and was it solely an internal change, or was there an external force at play, specifically a preternatural one?
I think with DreamXD, we might finally have an answer.
Or at least some clues to follow. DreamXD presents a shift in every single paradigm the Dream SMP has had. Like, I think most of it is just being so utterly blind-sided by George Lore Real, but part of it is the massive ramifications of an Actual God* being present in the storyline.
((*On the other resident god of the server, Foolish:
DreamXD is different than Foolish, in that his characterization is so dramatically inhuman - Foolish talks and acts like a (somewhat eccentric) person, and his powers are, as far as we know, limited in comparison to the creative-mode godhood that DreamXD occupies. And whether that is because Foolish is not a "full" god (having been referred to as a demigod) or simply because he's spent so much time around humans, we don't know, but we do know that either way, DreamXD is NOT that.
DreamXD's voice is marked by glitches and dramatic shifts in tone, he seems to lack control over the different aspects of his personality, like the more "Dream" part vs. the darker one that threatens to eat peoples souls. The "normal" part even displays confusion when George references things that the "darker" part said, implying that it may not be fully aware of itself.
TLDR: Foolish acts more human than DreamXD, who has a very eldritch personality.))
To get right to the point:
The Dream we knew before November 16th, and the Dream we know now are not the same. Something changed, and it changed for the worse.
Consider: Dream was always antagonistic to the L'manbergians - he was always imperious to them, and he was responsible for starting a number of fights between his faction and theirs, just as many if not more than they were.
But, he was also not... evil. He'd pick fights with Tommy, the disc wars were still a thing, but the gravity of the spats they had weren't dire. They were fun. They were... actually a game. He wasn't like the way he is now. While in hindsight we can look at these events and detect a serious undertone knowing what's to come, at the time they were far from it.
There is an argument to be made that he had the same tendencies as now, just not expressed as loudly, and while I believe it's a valid argument, I disagree that it's proof of Dream always being the way he is now.
Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Sam. They all remember Dream as their friend - they remember someone who was, maybe a little aggressive and a lot competitive, but not cruel. Not needlessly murderous. Not someone who steals sentimental items and lines the walls of a disgusting museum to use against them.
Dream cut them out. Sapnap was totally blindsided. Bad doesn't seem to fully believe it. Sam blamed himself for not realizing and tried to take the weight of that crime on his own shoulders by becoming the Warden.
There's also the competing theory that what happened to Dream was purely psychological - either the circumstances slowly isolating him from his friends driving him to the do things he's done, or a desire for control that started early and continued to fester until it overshadowed everything else, or any combination of both.
And those theories are still valid, they could still be the case, but I haven't been able to shake the idea that there is something deeper at play. I can't overstate how the exile arc and everything after it have been so inhumane, so cruel, and... not exactly out of character in the sense that I could never see Dream doing them, but in the sense that I could never see him doing them for no reason.
And there really doesn't seem to be one. Dream says himself, it's like a game. He sees people as toys, puppets. And there just doesn't seem to be an inciting incident that could explain how he made the leap from semi-authoritarian leader who, despite being a warmonger, does love his friends, to heartless murderer who wants to reduce everyone he knows to dolls.
There's... ways, he could get there, but nothing that we've seen makes sense. There is a missing piece, something that must have happened from his POV that we didn't get to see because he doesn't stream.
And DreamXD could be it. This godly entity that claims that it is "a part of [Dream]" but that it isn't him entirely. That seems to share the lack of understanding of humanity that Dream has been displaying like when he asks if resurrecting Tommy was “cool.” But that still loves George. He still, despite apparently not having the same history as Dream, desperately wants to be George's friend.
If I had to pinpoint the moment Dream changed, it would be the day that he revealed that he switched sides, and was going to be fighting against Pogtopia. He was paid for this betrayal in the Revive Book.
I mark this as the turning point in my theory because it is the first time Dream mentions his affinity for chaos in the context of hurting others. However, we also know that this likely wasn't the day he actually made the decision to betray - as he revealed that there was a traitor among the Pogtopians, a fact that he likely would have learned before this.
Now, I mark George's lore stream as the introduction of DreamXD proper, and I want that on the record because it isn't technically his first appearance on the server.
Most people will remember him from Techno's stream, where he logged on to break the End Portal in a panic. I doubt the character was properly written into the lore at that time, but it fits neatly with the rest of what we know about him - a guardian of the server, and the keeper of it's rules. No contradictions.
What less people might know, is that DreamXD has made an even earlier appearance, and it's this one where things begin to get... interesting.
Around roughly October of 2020, Tubbo and Fundy did some improv'd streams centering around Demon Hunting, or rather, "Dreamon" Hunting, and it's during the first of these two streams that DreamXD makes an appearance.
The bare bones of it was - Tubbo is an experienced "Dreamon Hunter" and teaches Fundy his ways. They find Dream, and realize that he has a Dreamon inside of him, which is basically an evil version of him. They attempt to exorcise the Dreamon from Dream via various shenanigans, and eventually, they do a ceremony to free Dream. However, they apparently botch it, and unleash the Dreamon within. After more shenanigans, one attempt to fix it utilizing Fundy and Dream's wedding appears to work, but then DreamXD logs on, flys around at Tubbo and Fundy threateningly, and they end stream on the idea that there are probably more Dreamons to hunt.
Now. There's a lot to unpack here. I'm not gonna go into the nitty gritty details in this post, but I do recommend watching the Dreamon streams, as they have A LOT of details that, if this is getting incorporated into the main story line, could be important - especially the focus on duality, having TWO versions of Dream, which end up being potentially separated from each other.
(Also, they're just really funny streams. Tubbo and Fundy are at PEAK chaos and Dream plays along with their inane bit perfectly, it's just good content.)
At the time of the Dreamon streams airing, they were explicitly non-canon. IIRC Tubbo and Fundy referred to them as taking place In an “alternate universe,” which makes sense considering they would have been on opposite sides at the time (Manburg and Pogtopia.)
However.
And this is where I show you my wall of red string and newspaper clippings.
My singular piece of evidence for this comes from one line DreamXD drops. He simply says: “At least you're not hunting me.”
The Dreamon streams take place around early October. Dream reveals his betrayal of Pogtopia around November 6th-7th. The timeline of the Dreamon streams would line up perfectly with the idea that there was a catalyzing event that put Dream on the proverbial path to hell.
I do not believe that they intended the Dreamon arc to be anything other than a side story at the time, but considering that DreamXD himself was barely canon until now, I don't think it's out of the question that they took a look back at a fan-favorite minor arc, saw an opportunity to co-opt it into the current story line, and potentially fill in some holes regarding Dream's characterization all in one move.
On the question of whether this would be a GOOD storytelling move?
The Dreamon theories were prevalent during the exile arc, and I've got to say, I was never a huge fan. The detachment of Dream's actions from his intentions, and by extension his morality, never sat right with me. It feels cheap to make him a victim and say “a Dreamon did it!” in regards to all of the horrible things that he's done. It strips his agency and makes everything that happened less impactful in my opinion, and I stand by that reading.
BUT. With DreamXD introduced, I feel like it's necessary to look at this from all angles. And with the way DreamXD was characterized in George's stream, I don't think it necessarily ruins Dream's character to say that an external force was involved with his descent into evil.
Namely, the idea that whatever happened to Dream was not really a “possession” so much as a gradual loss of humanity, could be an interesting way to look at this. It implies that Dream was always capable of his actions, but grants us understanding as to why he would actually perform them, and why he might have become isolated enough from his friends that they would let this happen.
The Dream we know now could be an expression of his “worst self” brought to the surface by a Dreamon/DreamXD/other. It also begs the question of what would happen if that force were to leave him, and how it might cause yet another shift in character, especially if it were to be portrayed as less of a switch being flipped, and more of a withdrawal, with a gradual process of realizing how far gone he was.
To close this out, I've been stewing on the idea that Dream hasn't entirely been himself since the climax of the Exile Arc.
I think this theory holds water, but it's also not waterproof... there are plenty of holes, and a lot of that comes from the fact that Dream doesn't stream. We're left in the dark when deciphering his character, and what might appear to be the key, could just as easily be revealed as a red herring, or even nothing at all.
Regardless of the validity of the Dreamon theory, I think that DreamXD is one of the most interesting developments we've had on the SMP in a long time, if simply because his arrival coincides with fucking George Lore Real. God. I still don't know how to deal with that.
I always appreciate people adding to the discussion by the way! Feel free to reblog with additions if you like or leave them in the replies.
And if a single one of you comes to my blog on THIS. THE DAY OF MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING. And calls ME a c!Dream Apologist to MY FACE..... I will be v sad.
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slowly-writing · 3 years
Text
Part of The Family: Civil War
Avengers x Kid!Reader
Part 1
Word Count: 5.2k
Requested by me: ...okay but hear me out. Part of the family, during Civil War.
A/N:  This is pretty angst, but I promise there’s a happy ending. I hope you all enjoy this, I loved diving back into this universe for a bit! I tried to stay as neutral as possible, but you can probably tell who’s side I was on. 
The mission in Logos was not one you wish to remember. It reminds you of the conversation you had with your mom after she got back from Sokovia. Missions like this one are the exact reason she doesn't want you in the field. The fact that you all made it out alive and relatively uninjured is practically a miracle. Sure you’ve got a few broken ribs and your mom for sure has a concussion she keeps denying, but you all walked away. You just want to relax, heal, and forget the whole thing happened.
The news, however, has other ideas. Every channel is playing the explosion on repeat. What is probably the worst moment of your life being played again and again for the world to see. The worst part is the blatant attack they’re throwing towards Wanda. The girl saved your life and the lives of countless others in that crowd. There were casualties and it was tragic, but the things they’re saying are absurd. You’re enhanced too, but you weren’t the one who wasn’t strong enough, so now she’s the monster.
You haven’t seen MJ since you got back, the swarm of paparazzi and news vans outside the tower is far too thick for either of you to break through, but you know she agrees with you, and something tells you you’re going to need that support pretty soon.
“People died and that’s on me,” you hear your father’s voice as you walk up to Wanda’s room.
“That’s on both of us,” she retorts and they both look down solemnly, feeling guilty.
“That’s on hydra. If you don’t want to put the blame where it really belongs, which as I said is on them, then fine. It’s on all of us. We’re a team. This isn’t on just any one of us, we were all there. We all could’ve done something different today and the outcome doesn’t fall on any single person, just like it wouldn’t have if we had done well,” you say firmly as you sit beside your dad on Wanda’s bed.
“This job...we try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes that doesn’t mean everybody. But if we can’t find a way to live with it then next time, maybe nobody gets saved,” your dad says and you nod in agreement. It’s the hardest part, the people you don’t save, but you have to focus on the good parts. If you don’t, the bad will eat you up until there’s no more good at all.
A knock on the door startles all three of you out of your thoughts. You glance up to see Clint standing in the doorway. The look on his face practically screams trouble, and you almost don’t want to know what he’s going to say. “Tony’s back,” he finally says, “and he brought a guest.”
“We know who it is?”
“The secretary of state,” he says stiffly before walking out.
“This…” you look between the two, “can’t be good.”
xxxxx
You glance around the table, your whole family glaring at the accords. At Ross. At each other. You can see the lines being drawn around you and it makes you want to run and hide like the scared kid you feel like at the moment.
Then the bickering starts. Calculations are being run, and people are making arguments. Your dad and Tony being the loudest among the group.
“We may not be perfect but the safest hands are still our own,” your dad argues and Tony’s disagreement is clear.
“If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s the fact and it won’t be pretty,” he says and Wanda tenses.
“You’re saying they’ll come for me,” her voice is barely above a whisper and you speak up for the first time.
“They’ll come for both of us. You’re not the only one with powers that scare them and I don’t know about you but I don’t fancy being locked in a cell until I’m deemed useful,” you grit out and your mom is the next to speak up, but to your surprise it’s not to agree with you.
“Maybe Tony’s right,” she says and all the heads in the room snap towards her. All confused, and none more than you. “If we have one hand on the wheel we can still steer. If we take it off-”
“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam asks and she sighs.
“I’m just-I’m reading the terrain. We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win back their trust.”
“I’m sorry did I just mishear you or did you agree with me?” Tony teases and you glare at him.
“Oh I wanna take it back now,” she looks like she’s in pain, and you know the feeling.
“No no you can’t retract it,” as Tony proclaims his victory your dad is the first to leave the room and the team slowly scatters. You stay firmly planted in your seat, your eyes locked on the floor as the words they said sink in. Mainly those of your parents, and they make you sick. Not because of your own view, but of the fact that’s becoming clear. You’re all going to have to pick a side, and they’re not going to be on the same one.
xxxxx
Everyone seemed to be jetting off to different places around the world, having meetings in secret and not telling each other the details of them. You stayed home and tried to ignore it all. You even tried to go to school one day, but the stares and whispers made it impossible to even walk in the front doors. It was like the entire student body froze at the sight of you, so you stayed in the tower with Wanda who couldn’t bring herself to step outside, and occasionally MJ, but only when she could sneak away. Her parents didn’t want her to get mixed up in your mess and you couldn’t really blame them. Peter was always at home. There was no way he could get to the tower without his identity getting revealed and you had a sinking feeling Tony was only telling him one side of the story.
Over the next few weeks things only got messier. Your dad, trying to help, has become a war criminal. Your mom is in Vienna trying to fix everyone’s mess. And with your parents gone you and Wanda are locked in the tower, told by Tony you couldn’t leave for safety reasons. You still couldn’t figure out if he was trying to protect you or protect everyone else from you.  
“Mom, how is everyone?” you ask, propping the phone up so both you and Wanda could be seen on the small screen. You had just seen your dad get arrested on the news and to say you were nervous was an understatement.
“Everything’s going to be fine. Tony and your father are talking right now,” she says, walking towards the conference room, close enough for all three of you to hear their voices.
“I’d file the motion to have you, y/n, and Wanda reinstated-” Tony speaks first.
“What about y/n and Wanda?” Your dad’s voice joins in, and you realize he has no idea what’s happening with you.
“They’re fine, they’re confined to the tower. There’s worse ways to protect people,” Tony tries only to be cut off again.
“Protection? Is that how you see this? This is protection? This is internment Tony-” It’s your dad’s turn to get cut off
“She’s not a US citizen and y/n doesn’t even have a birth certificate. They don’t grant visas to weapons of mass destruction!” Tony screams.
“They’re kids! She’s my kid!” There’s a long silence where all you can hear is your heart beating in your ears. You see your mom look at you, heart break visible on her face, and you know it’s because of the tears pooling in your eyes.
“Girls,” your mom says gently, she’s walking away from the argument, but you can’t take any more.
“I’ve gotta go,” you quickly end the call, walking to the window and staring out at the city. That was the moment you lost all your trust in your family. It’s also the moment you pick a side. Sure, Tony and your dad both have valid arguments, and you haven’t quite decided who is right, but you refuse to fight for someone who just called you and your best friend ‘weapons of mass destruction’. Sure MJ once said it as a joke, but that was different. She never meant it. After all these years, you can’t believe that Tony does. You can’t believe that's what he thinks of you. After the way he’s been there for you and helped raise you, he still thinks of you as a weapon waiting to fall into the wrong hands, and you refuse to side with someone who thinks so little of you.
“We need to go,” you say suddenly.
“And where would you suggest we go?” Wanda asks as you tighten your hands into fists, trying to control the anger you feel bubbling up.
“Anywhere but here! You said it yourself. They’re going to come for us, and I don’t see anyone here trying to help. Staying here and doing nothing we’re sitting ducks. We both know this is gonna come to a fight. So we might as well make our way to them,” you tell here and there’s a long silence until you hear Clint's voice behind you.
“I think I can help with that.”
xxxxx
You watch everyone else pile out of the van and greet your dad, Sam, and who you assume to be Bucky. You take a deep breath before following, standing a bit behind Wanda as Clint talks to the group. Your dad’s eyes meeting yours as he steps away from Clint to meet you.
“I didn’t want it to come to this,” he says and you smile weakly.
“None of us did, and yet here we are. Mom’s not with us on this, is she?” He looks to the floor and you don’t need an answer, the sadness in his eyes is enough.
“We're outside the law on this one, if you do this, you’re a wanted woman,” he says and you nod.
“Ever since I found out about the serum, I promised to do what’s right. I’m not gonna let a little thing like the law stop me now,” he chuckles at your words until an alarm starts going off.
“Suit up,” he calls to the group and with that you all get ready, your dad being the first on the tarmac. You stay back in the shadows to listen while your dad and Tony go back and forth for a while, but your breath catches as your mom steps into the group.
“Steve, you know what’s about to happen. Do you really want to punch your way out of this one?” Before he can answer Tony’s yelling and all the sudden Peter is behind Tony with your dad’s shield in his hand. Tony starts yelling at Steve to give up and for a second you think he’s going to, until you hear Sam’s voice saying they found the quinjet. Then Clint shoots his hands free and you step forward.
“Dad!” you yell, and when he glances back you toss your shield to him. Your mom’s eyes widen as she realises you’re here, and you’re starting to realise how little either of your parents have paid attention to your whereabouts throughout this whole thing. Sure, you’re 17, but you’d think they’d pay a little attention to your wellbeing. But you shake it off. Now isn’t the time to mope, you’re gonna need all your energy to do what you have to do.
The fighting starts and you freeze, realizing how not ready you are for this, you see your mom take out Scott as Rhodey goes for your dad. You get your dad’s shield from where Scott dropped it and watch in horror as your dad throws a truck at your mom, literally. And then, as much as you don’t want to, you follow him towards the quinjet. You’ve made your decision and there’s no going back now.
Tony’s team cuts you off and the two sides line up. It’s all very dramatic and you lock your jaw, trying to stay calm.
“What do we do, dad?” you ask.
“We fight,” he says firmly.
“Well, this is gonna end well,” you hear your mom say from the other line and you silently agree.
Everyone starts running towards each other and you tighten your grip on your shield. You find yourself dodging the cars Wanda throws as you punch a literal king in the face. He comes back strong, the claws of his suit tearing into your arm. You use your shield to knock him back into Clint’s range, and he takes over. You spin around to see who’s alone and see your mother with her gaze locked on you. She runs towards you and you use her momentum against her. You flip her over your shoulder but she quickly recovers kicking the shield from your hands and landing a solid punch to your side.
“I don’t want to do this y/n,” she says and you catch her fist, once again flipping her but this time she lands on her feet.
“And you think I do?” you yell over the chaos and suddenly a red mist encases the foot that was aimed at your chest. Your head snaps to Wanda as she sends your mom flying into a nearby vehicle.
“You were pulling your punches,” she says before running off and you glare after her before turning to Peter and slicing his web with your shield.
“Peter, go home. You don’t understand what’s happening here,” you plead.
“Mr. Stark said you’d say that.” he says before sending more webs flying at you. He grabs you by the ankle, sending you into a luggage cart before chuckling, “he also said to go for your legs.”
He shoots your hands and you use the webs to send him against the same luggage cart. He crumples to the ground and you hesitate for a moment before running the other way.
“We gotta go now,” your dad says and you sigh.
“No, you gotta go. If we’re gonna win this, some of us aren’t getting out of here,” you say, running towards the fight in the middle of the tarmac.
“I’m not leaving here without you. Your my family,” his words break your heart, and you know to get him to leave you’ll have to break his.
“No I’m not. I’m just some kid you felt obligated to help. Hydra screwed with me, it’s not your job to clean it up. Bucky’s always been family. Get him out of here. Who knows, maybe they’ll go easy on me. I am a kid after all.”
“Y/n-” you cut your dad off.
“Steve, go. Bucky you and him need to get to the jet. Scott, you remember that thing you were telling me about on the plane ride here?” you ask and you can practically see the wheels turning in his head, “do that. And try not to split yourself in half. On his signal, everybody move.”
Scott soon grows to a ridiculous height and then all hell really breaks loose. Your only goal is making sure they get to the jet, and trying not to think about what’ll happen to you when they do.
After a bit more fighting you see the jet take off and the dust finally starts to settle. You glance around attempting to see who you can help, but instead you see police all with their eyes set on you and Wanda. You take a step back, trying to find somewhere to run, only to realize you’re surrounded. Slowly putting your hands in the air you kneel down, it’s easy to see you’ve lost and you don’t fight it as the shackles lock around your wrists. They’re hightech, clearly meant to withstand any enhanced ability and you see the same kind being put on Wanda. You glance over to your mom standing across the tarmac, you expect her to yell, tell them to let you go, at least have the decency to look upset. But she just watches as you’re shoved into the back of an armored van.
xxxxx
You look around the cell you’ve found yourself in. Your left wrist is shackled to the wall, apparently they don’t deem the two inch thick bulletproof cell wall enough to keep you restrained. After hours off pulling at the chains, your wrist becoming bloody and raw, you’ve given up on trying to get out of them. You’re still better off than Wanda, who is sitting across from you with a shock collar and a straight jacket. If you didn’t want to kill the people who put you here before, that image was enough to make the impulse arise.
You’re arranged in a circle, able to see the people around you, you may not have known all of them for long, but you know none of them deserve this. After the way you’ve been treated you’re starting to think nobody deserves this, you wouldn’t wish this on the worst Hydra had to offer. As you look at the faces around you, you can’t help but think of their families, how much Clint’s kids must miss him. How Scott’s daughter feels losing her father for a second time. It makes you wonder if your mom has even batted an eye. She sure didn’t seem to care that they carted you away in the first place. You start to wonder if she ever even cared at all, or if it was all some elaborate cover, maybe something set up by Fury to make you willing to work for them. They treated you like family to your face, but conspired against you behind closed doors. You’re reanalyzing every interaction you can remember when the door to the cell block opens.
Tony walks in in a sling and Clint starts clapping “the futurist gentlemen! The futurist is here! He sees all. He knows what’s best for you. Whether you like it or not.”
“Give me a break Barton. I had no idea they’d put you here,” he snaps back and you stand, walking towards the glass only to get yanked back by the chain around your wrist pulling against the wall.
“Well, you knew they’d put us somewhere, Tony,” you grit out. For a second his eyes soften before he’s speaking again.
“Yeah but not some supermax floating ocean pokey. This place is for maniacs this is a place for…” he trails off but Clint finishes for him.
“Criminals? Criminals Tony. Think that’s the word you’re looking for, right? That didn’t used to mean me. Or Sam, or Wanda. Or y/n, the girl YOU helped raise!” Clint yells before his voice drops low again, “but here we are.”
“Because you broke the law,” Tony says. As if that’s all this means. As if it’s all that simple. “I didn’t make you.”
“You better watch your back with this guy!” Clint says, slamming his fist into the cell wall as Tony starts walking around the circle, “there’s a chance he’s gonna break it.”
Tony walks, looking at all of you as if you’re animals in a zoo. He bickers with Scott and then Sam before stopping in front of you. You lock your jaw, ignoring the tears gathering in both of your eyes. “What do you need? Did they feed you yet?”
“Oh so now you’re the good cop? The caring uncle?” you snap, shaking the chain on your wrist, “does it look like we’re getting five star treatment here?”
“I just need to know where Steve went,” he says calmly, and you’ve never wanted to punch somebody more.
“You better go get a bad cop then. Cause I’m not giving up my father.”
“You see that? I just knocked the A out of their AV, we have about 30 seconds before they realize it’s not their equipment,” he says, messing with his watch. “Clearly I made a mistake, y/n. I was wrong.”
“Well that’s a first,” you quip.
“Cap is definitely off the reservation but he’s about to need all the help he can get.”
“Then get me out of here so I can help him,” you grit out, but he shakes his head.
“Y/n, you’ve known me for years. You know who I am,” he tries to argue.
“No I don’t. The Tony I knew never would’ve let them lock us up like this,” you say with a glare.
“I’m trying to help,” He says calmly and you contemplate your options for a minute. You clearly can’t help from in here, and Tony’s telling the truth, right? He has to be, he wouldn’t betray you again. Would he?
“I’ll tell you, but you have to promise he won’t end up in here.”
“I promise,” he says, and you take his word.
xxxxx
“Hey Clint,” you call softly, leaning back against the freezing wall of your cell. You ignore the way you’re shaking, and the way your lips feel cold, undoubtedly starting to turn blue. There may be a bed in here, but they made sure the chain would keep you away from it, not that you’d sleep anyway. You don’t trust them enough to let your guard down like that.
“Yeah, kid?” his voice is just as soft, and he sounds as exhausted as you feel.
“Do you think we’re ever getting out of here?” you hear the sharp intake of breath and everyone in the room is looking at you. Before he can answer the doors open once again. You look down, not ready for whatever is walking though, only to see two familiar sets of shoes stop in front of your cell. You stand quickly, trying to make your way to them but the jerking of the chains snap you back into reality as you stumble back towards the wall. You watch as your parents eyes move to the shackle on your red wrist, dried blood covering your forearm from where you tried to pull out of it.
“Get her out of there,” your dad says, his jaw clenched and Ross steps forward, begrudgingly putting a code into the keypad on the wall. Suddenly everyone’s cell doors slide open, a few guards move to take Wanda’s collar and straight jacket off while one unlocks the shackle on your wrist. As soon it’s off your mom steps forward, presumably to hug you but you flinch away, back slamming against the wall.
“Y/n, it’s okay,” she says, raising her hands slowly as if you’re an animal she doesn’t want to startle.
“Okay?” You snap, “what part of this is okay? The part where we were fighting each other in an airport 36 hours ago? Or the last 24 that I’ve spent in this cell? The chains around my wrist? The collar on Wanda’s neck? Maybe the fact that I haven’t been given food since before Germany. Or the fact that I’m sure I would have passed out from exhaustion by now if I weren’t so scared of what happened if I fell asleep. The part where they tried to torture me for your location? Have you ever been waterboarded before? Because I have, and let me tell you, it’s not fun,” you ask your dad before turning to your mom. “Maybe the part where I had to watch my family fall apart in front of my eyes, or the part where you watched them arrest me and did nothing,” angry tears are welling in your eye for what seems like the hundredth time in the last few days. “None of this is okay.”
There’s a silence in the room as everyone takes in what you’ve said. Your parents are looking around, waiting for someone to disagree with you, tell them you’re exaggerating what’s happened to you, but nobody does.
“You’re right. None of this is okay. What happened is not okay, but we’re leaving now. We’re going to get you all out of here, and we’re going to start making it better,” your mom says gently, her voice cracking. You let her take your hand now, wincing as her fingers brush against your wrist, “we’re going to make this okay.”
xxxxx
Apparently “getting out of here” did not mean going home. It meant cleaning up in the bathroom on the jet and going straight to capitol hill for a special hearing congress was holding to decide whether or not you should be pardoned. You were sitting outside with Wanda because apparently you were allowed to be held captive and tortured for war crimes, but you weren’t allowed to listen in on a congressional hearing until you were eighteen.
“Hey, are you okay?” you ask her, trying to break the silence. You almost regret asking as she starts to shake a bit.
“I will be,” is all she says, silently taking your hand and leaning into your side. You understand the feeling, and the need for comfort. So you sit silently, gripping her hand tightly as you try to relax. The two of you sit for a while longer until you see your parents exiting the meeting room, eyes set on you.
“They want to hear from you.”
“What?” your jaw drops at your mom’s words.
“They want the perspective of someone who knows the team, someone who can understand why we did what we did. They decided that was you,” your dad says and you nod, standing on shaky legs and walking into the courtroom. There’s cameras flashing everywhere and reporters yelling questions. You set your eyes to the front, your mom’s hand on your back pushing you forward until you reach the microphone. You carefully sit in front of it, crossing your hands on the desk to hide how hard they are shaking.
“Please state your name for the record,” the congressman says as the room quiets down.
“Y/n Romanoff-Rogers,” you say into the microphone, wincing at the feedback as you get too close.
“You are here today to speak on why you believe the actions taken after the Sokovia Accords were signed were rational, and why your team should be released from federal custody, free of any and all charges. You may proceed,” he says and you take a deep breath, trying not to think about how badly this could end for you if this goes south.
“I’ve seen the Avengers in a light that no one else truly has. You all get to see the badass superheroes-am I allowed to say badass in court?” you glance at your parents, your mom stifling a laugh as your dad rolls his eyes. “Anyway, you see them save lives. I get more than that. I got to see the side that took in a 12 year old girl, because she had nowhere else to go. They could’ve turned me away, sent me packing. Plenty of other foster homes did, six to be exact. But they took a chance on me and I got to see them as a family. My mom, who sat by my bed all night for the first few weeks that I lived with them, because I had nightmares when I was alone. Who tried as hard as she possibly could to keep me out of the field, even though I could pick up my motorcycle with one hand, because all she wanted was for me to be safe. My dad, who told awful jokes and teased me about the crushes I had. Who was gentle and kind despite being twice my size.
“I got to see the side of Wanda who was a scared teenager, just wanting to fit in like everyone else. Who wanted nothing more than to do right by her family and the people she loved. I got to see them all as people, not heroes. Everyone in that tower just wants to do what’s right and what’s best for everyone, and this time we couldn’t agree. A lot was on the line. Not just a failed mission, or a few injuries to deal with. It was the destruction of everything we’d all worked so hard for. It was jail time in a place I know I’ll be having nightmares about for years to come. The people we were dealing with had no problem sending people to a military black site. Had no problem sending two teenagers there, and torturing them to get what they wanted. And that scared us all, to the point where we were willing to lose everything we had to do what we believed was right. Maybe we were wrong, maybe we weren’t, but there’s no saying the people put in charge would have always been right either.
“Too many of the people on my team know what it’s like to have no say. To be used as a weapon in someone else’s agenda. There was no way any of us could let that happen again, even if it meant losing everything. We broke the law, yes, but historically laws haven't always been right. Mankind has done awful things that were perfectly fine in the eyes of the law. Locking my family away was legal. It doesn’t make any of it right.”
“Thank you, Miss Romanoff-Rogers,” the congressman says before the room is emptied for the voting, and you’re sent home to wait. It all seems very anticlimactic, but if you’re going back to prison, you’re not going to say no to one more night in your own bed first. The ride back to the tower is silent, everyone’s nerves are palpable but nobody is ready to talk about it. You step out of the van to a sea of photographers and people yelling your name, but one shout in particular stands out. You see MJ weaving her way through the crowd and grin as she slams into your arms. You hold her tight for a few moments, before pulling her away and ushering her inside.
“How are you?” she asks once you’re in the elevator, not caring that your family is listening in. You shake your head, letting out a long breath before answering.
“Tired. Stressed. Scared. Exhausted. Glad that you’re here,” you list off and she smiles.
“Considering you said two different versions of being tired, it sounds like the first thing on the agenda is a nap,” she says and you chuckle a bit, the rest of your family nodding in agreement.
“I’d say so. We’ve been awake for, what...two days?”
“Three,” Wanda corrects as you all step out into the common room.
“Yeah, a nap is definitely the move right now,” you grab MJ’s hand leading her towards your room.
“Leave the door open!” your dad calls after you as you flop onto the bed. You roll your eyes, but smile nonetheless. Nothing is back to normal yet. Nothing is fixed. It’s quite the opposite actually. You have relationships to mend, trust that needs to be earned back on both sides, a lot to talk about, and a lot of trauma that needs to be worked through, but laying here with MJ in your arms and your family all back on the same side, it seems like a step in the right direction. 
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Series tag list: @hannahsairwas @niquey-salvatore @ibe-anne @lostlittlenerd @youarethereasonimsmiling @ohfuckno @marvelousmendess @jelly-fishy-babie @whattheheckisevengoingon
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*slaps roof of fanfiction* this baby can fit so much self-projection in there ~ @rauko-is-a-free-elf s wise words. enjoy <3
Dean's the one who can't get out of bed without coffee. The one who thinks sunday brunches are a thing just because real people aren't supposed to be up by breakfast time on the weekend. The one who'll crash face first into the couch, first thing he's back from college, because screw consciousness, that's why.
And yet, it's Cas who stumbles out of the shower on seven-am-biochem-Thursday, and proceeds to trip over the carpet and land in Dean's arms.
"I'm so fucking tired."
"Of the — carpet?" Dean frowns, looking over Cas's bedhead to examine the Queen lyrics-filled specimen. He's rather fond of it.
"Of being," Cas mutters, heaving himself upright and swatting at Dean's hand when he reaches to smooth his tie. "Whoever the fuck I'm supposed to be."
Dean tries to get to his tie again, and receives a particularly pissed-off glare for his efforts.
"And who is that?" Dean throws back, playful because why not; he's expecting a sarcastic comeback, a suffering eyeroll, or even to be annoyedly swore at — which he definitely wouldn't mind, coming from his best friend slash boyfriend slash dude with the literal sexiest voice Dean's ever heard — but he's definitely not expecting Cas to launch himself at him, purposefully this time, also gentler, and bury his face in Dean's shirt.
Dean waits, worried, but hands coming up involuntarily to hug back.
Cas doesn't budge.
"Babe?"
All the reaction that induces is for Cas to cling harder. And for words to get muttered — and reasonably muffled, into Dean's shirt.
"I hate that guy."
Dean raises his eyebrows, belatedly realizing Cas can't see them. "Huh?"
"The guy I'm supposed to be." Cas goes on, gritting his teeth. "Dean, I hate him. He makes my life miserable. And I — I'm just so tired."
And at that, Cas decides the point's been made, and stops talking entirely, leaving Dean with little more to do than hold on.
And think.
He knows Cas never got a chance to make the choices most people take for granted. The guy never got to choose his major, choose his hobbies. Hell, hardly even his friends. Private schooled and isolated until his parents up and shipped him off to Princeton pre-med, Dean's always believed Cas had the right to be mad.
Even though he's now in actual med-school, a year from becoming Doctor Novak — Dean gets a secret thrill every time he imagines that, and Cas knows, so it's not a very well-kept secret — and no longer in touch with his parents (who turned out, unsurprisingly, to be assholes who cut him off when they found out Cas is gay. Well, pansexual, but they didn't really care about labels once they'd met Cas's boyfriend. Dean. Who likes to take some of the credit for his boyfriend's relatively new disowned status, even though it had mostly been Cas being a badass, and finally, finally standing up for himself.)
So one might say things turned out fine, and there's no reason to hold grudges, but if Cas wanted to, Dean would have a hundred percent declared it valid.
But that's where Cas came in. That's where who he was, came in. A thinker, a dreamer, but grounded enough to not hold onto the anger. Independent, but rarely reckless. Plus, aware enough to work hard and reap well, while at the same time, searching for reasons to find the good in things.
Dean loves him, and admires him. Admires his intelligence, and tenacity, and courage. But this had never happened before.
Dean may have been the initiator of most hugs, but that could usually be traced down to Cas's nonexistent social skills, and Dean's embarrassing dependency on touch, in lieu of words. This, was one of the most passionately Dean had seen Cas feel something, outside of love.
And it was rattling.
If being this way — this ideal everything; top of his class, tireless, always in control — was burning Cas out, it couldn't go on. Dean would take a less 'functional' Cas over the wrecked-sounding prodigy in his arms anyday.
And god knew Dean Winchester was far from perfect himself.
There was only one way ahead.
Dean holds on quietly, and a couple minutes pass. Clearly Cas needs it, seeing as how he dissolves more into Dean as the seconds pass, the frustration leaving him vacant and devoid of energy.
"Cas?"
Cas shifts in his arm, tenses a bit. "I'm sorry, I —" He starts, sounding too obviously disappointed for some reason, and Dean hates it.
"Dude." Dean cuts him off, somehow not cheerful, but still bright. It's always easier talking someone down like this, and Cas has always, strangely, drawn from Dean's moods. "You're going to apologize for needing a hug?"
Cas remains quiet.
They both know it was more than that. Cas has calmed considerably, but he wasn't himself before. Or he was. Now, he's almost normal — but it feels like he's being who he's normally supposed to be again, and that's not good.
"Also," Dean continues, undeterred by the lack of response. "That guy? Sounds like a real piece of work. Ever thought of cutting him off?"
"It doesn't work that way."
"Don't see why not."
"Dean —"
"So it won't happen in a day." Dean realizes Cas is shifting again, and a little uncertainly, lets him pull away. Thankfully, he stays in Dean's space, albeit carrying his weight on his own two feet. Dean doesn't know what to do with his hands anymore, so he takes Cas's in them. Cas lets him. "It'll take time, be a process and whatnot, and you'll have me with you, you'll have all our friends really. Plus, isn't college about experimenting?"
Cas makes a sound which sounds like a chuckle he couldn't exactly help, and Dean preens, encouraged by it.
"And it's not like I'm about to let you go try and play for the other side," He adds, lightly. "You're stuck with me. But this could be your adventure."
There's a more comfortable silence.
Cas breaks it this time, clearing his throat. "You don't think I'm too young for a midlife crisis?"
"Take it from someone who raised Sam fucking Winchester, babe. This is way more of a teenage crisis." Cas cringes visibly at that, but that just means it's working. "Breaking out of your barriers, discovering who you really are? Netflix's coming-of-age producers are coming for your twenty seven year old ass."
Cas shakes his head, grumbling at him, but he's already sounding more like himself, and Dean can work with this. "You're mean to me sometimes."
"You tackle me like a mascot scoring a touchdown-hug sometimes."
Cas snorts. "That hardly makes sense."
"Your face hardly makes sense." Dean wastes no time in hurtling the first response in his head, and it earns him a less reluctant laugh. The weariness in Cas's voice remains, but the upset is wearing off.
"Great comeback, wasn't that?"
"Your face is a great comeback." Dean informs him with a huff, as he leans in to kiss the smug look off his boyfriend's face. Cas meets him halfways, tilting his head, and sliding a hand up Dean's arm and shoulder until it's around his neck. His fingers stroke the short hairs at the back of Dean's head, and he tugs just the way Dean likes it, earning a full shudder from the latter as he pulls back breathlessly.
"Are you trying to distract me?" Dean accuses dramatically, hand on his heart.
Cas shrugs, pulling on a nonchalant look, and almost succeeding. "You were making my dilemma sound too solvable. A man is excused some defense mechanisms, isn't he?"
"Not when I'm making progress, sunshine." Dean throws back. "Just, hear me out, okay? You want to do this, you're going to be making changes. Doing things, and more importantly, giving up things that don't feel like you. It doesn't even have to be a big deal. Unless you want it to be. I mean, you're a sucker for planning, making lists, that sorta thing, right?"
The easy smile has started returning to Cas's features again, and he nods. A little. (As if he appreciates Dean's rambling, and because he's Cas, he probably does.)
"So that's where we start. Hell, I could buy you a binder. There's this stationary place Charlie does not shut up about, and they might have those huge, black, spiralbound binders. Which I figure you're secretly obsessed with, you know, since you're secretly a nerd." Dean reasons, satisfiedly.
"It's hardly a secret."
"Oh, it is." He beams. "And I, your awesome, hot boyfriend, am your cover."
Cas rolls his eyes with feeling, leaving Dean basking in a momentary sense of accomplishment. But it's not the time. And it may have been him rambling, but it's not about him.
"So," He raises his eyebrows. "What do you say?"
Cas draws in a breath. "I say," he swallows. "Yes. Okay, I mean. Yeah. You — you make it sound doable. Plausible, somehow." Cas bites his lip. "Come to think of it, I haven't thought of a particular something I want to change, and I know I'll probably rethink everything six more times, and I know you'll still be patient with me, even when I don't change what doesn't feel right, just because I'm too used to it, and truthfully, maybe it's too soon to be thinking of changes, and we should slow down, especially you, because you're wonderful, but I don't think I can change myself as efficiently — and I don't think we can, either. But I'm grateful, and I agree, and I want to change things as well, and I'd like a binder, really, and you —" Cas scrubs his face with a hand. "I just know, that I - I feel different."
Dean grins. "Yeah?"
Cas breathes in again, slower. On the exhale, he sighs. "I love you."
"That ain't exactly a 'different' anymore, babe." Dean reminds, and it's all the motivation Cas needed to wrap his arms around Dean again, and plant a firm, telling kiss on his lips.
"I know. But it's easier to say, and I know you understand."
"Yeah, I do."
Dean smiles, and Cas mirrors it, crinkled eyes and showing gums, and an uncharacteristic dampness in his eyes in spite of the breathtaking smile, and it's too damn beautiful a sight to not kiss again.
So Dean does, and Cas only smiles wider, more beautiful.
*
In around twelve minutes, Cas's alarm for six forty-five goes off, and he pulls back in a frenzy — as dazed as Dean from the makeout, but senses just enough present to realize he's going to be late for his lecture.
They figure it out though, like they figure out most things — Dean puts together a sandwich while Cas gets dressed, and later drives him to class in his Baby, since he's obviously missed the bus. Cas ends up only three minutes late, and it's a good thing Dr. Harvelle is in a good mood, because she at least pretends to believe their unbelievably trite excuse, delivered in Dean's most earnest voice. ("Traffic.")
Later that evening, when Dean's back from his shift at the autoshop — it helps pay bills, and he gets to add 'experience' under engineering on his resume — and Cas is back from the hospital, and they're piled on the couch in front of the TV watching reruns of Doctor Sexy, tangled in each other, Dean remembers something he's been meaning to ask since the moment he gave what happened that morning, some thought.
"Hey, babe." he begins, as a by-the-way. "What exactly happened this morning?"
"I believe I tackled you like a mascot scoring a touchdown-hug." Cas answers, in the straightest of voices because he's hilarious like that.
"Yeah, I mean — you did." Dean snorts at the callback. "But like, what triggered it?"
"Oh." Cas pauses. "I believe we ran out of shaving foam."
"Shaving foam." Dean repeats, incredulously.
"Yes." Cas doesn't even have the courtesy to grin, when Dean snickers. "And usually, we have a spare bottle. I — I tend to make sure of it. But I checked, and we didn't, and I was supposed to make sure we don't completely run out of these things, and I didn't, and I —" He shrugs. "I just hated that I forgot, so much, in that one minute of staring at the mirror, and I was agitated, until —" Dean blinks, and Cas affords a tiny smile. "I realized I couldn't do this anymore. I had a revelation, it would seem, at how pointless all of that self-loathing was, and how I've tired entirely of being that person."
"So you got mad that you got mad?"
"I — kind of. But it was mostly the shaving foam." Cas points out, now deadpanning on purpose because Dean can't hold back the laugh. Nobody in the universe could have an identity crisis over shaving foam except for Castiel fucking Novak, and Dean gets to live with this ridiculous sonuvabitch, the adorable fucker, and watch him get more unbelievably perfect by the day.
"Cas?" He lets out, still laughing. "Proud as I am of your moment of truth, and you deciding to go easy on your expectations of you and all that, can I just say something?"
"Of course." Cas responds, immediately.
"I think I like you better with the peach fuzz."
And so it's Cas's turn to burst into a laugh, and it's not like Dean's stopped anyways, so eventually it's just the both of them laughing through the evening, and laughing through dinner, still tangled in each other, still piled on the couch, and Doctor Sexy still playing in the background, because some things change, and other things don't, and some things won't, and that's that.
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amwritingmeta · 3 years
Text
15x20: New Beginnings
I’d like to speak of the cause and effect of the ending.
I agree that the execution could’ve been skewered just a tiny bit and it would’ve made the overall impression more palatable, but assuming production was at the very least hampered by COVID restrictions, we know that this wasn’t actually Dabb’s final vision. It’s what we’ve got, though, and it still leaves us with a lot of tying up of narrative threads. 
How?
We have a final image of Dean and Sam together and I understand why this is irksome and why it feels regressive. Here’s why I think it actually isn’t:
Dark Side of the Moon tells us that Dean and Sam are most definitely not soulmates meant to share a Heaven. Dean’s memories are focused on Sam while Sam’s memories are completely devoid of Dean. Dean also needs to find Sam (and is helped to do so by Cas). Ie. they brothers are not in a shared Heaven, the way Jimmy and Amelia and Mary and John are highlighted to be.
We also know that Heaven’s system is basically a prison for the mind of the souls of those who have died, right? You get stuck in your best memories. This is simply Heaven’s idea of benevolence, because Heaven, and the angels, have never understood how much choice and free will matter to humanity.
So. No matter how much Dean and Sam succeeded in saving the world throughout our narrative, they were still always headed for forced separation and this prison for their minds and being filed away behind one of those white doors, in essence ceasing to exist, and the point of all their trials and tribulations would have been what? Living a long and happy life, only to die and go to what Dean wouldn’t have chosen for himself with a gun to his head? Eternally brainwashed into thinking he’s content? 
Can you think of anything more horrible to be waiting at the end of their road?
So the point to this ending we got is, to me, gloriously clear and it’s this:
The journeys of these men, throughout this entire narrative, made the new Heaven possible. 
This new Heaven, where there’s freedom of choice and endless possibility for exploration. Where human souls are now granted an afterlife worth actually living, where everyone can reconnect with the people they’ve cared about, the people they’ve loved. 
(Buddhists have six Heavens and believe life exists on multiple planes meaning when you die you simply transcend to the next plane where there’s more living to be done) (Swedish children’s author Astrid Lindgren explored the death of two brothers through sacrifice and illness in her novel The Brothers Lionheart and in the mythology of this book the first Heaven one enters just after death is called Nangijala, and once you die in Nangijala you move onto Nangilima and so on) (etc.) 
What we get in the Supernatural mythos is that there’s no more prison for the mind. No more only soulmates get a shared Heaven: ie. family genuinely doesn’t end in blood.
So look at what this means for the entire structure of our narrative and our character journeys -->
The Road 
If Dean and Sam hadn’t been codependent, they wouldn’t have made those bad choices that brought Cas into the narrative. 
If Cas hadn’t been influenced by Dean to rebel and start making bad choices of his own, he never would’ve made Heaven fall apart by trying to stitch it together and teach angels free will and stepping into a leader role he wasn’t quite ready for, and he wouldn’t have begun on the journey that brought him right to the moment when he expressed his need of bringing back a win for Dean, and for himself.
That win, turns out, was Jack. 
Cas’ faith in Jack, Cas fighting for Jack, Cas feeling responsible and stepping into the Good Father Figure in order to keep his promise to Kelly and protect Jack was what led to Cas making a bad deal with the Empty, but that bad deal also left Cas with the opportunity to save Dean’s life when death was threatening to break down that door and kill them both.
The remarkable truth that’s added to this moment is that Cas’ journey has brought him to a place in his progression where he’s no longer afraid of his feelings, he’s no longer questioning them or thinking they mean a weakness he shouldn’t let define him, because he realises that what he needs isn’t Dean to love him back for that love to be real, to be valuable and valid. His fear of alienating Dean through loving him is the lie. That’s where his happiness stems from, him recognising and finally embracing this truth. 
Because the love he feels isn’t a weakness. It never was: it’s his strength. It’s always guided him, even when he didn’t realise it.
And the strength of it lets him tell Dean exactly how he sees him and that he loves him, and opening up to and being honest with himself is what allows Cas to integrate with his shadow. The Empty takes him, but Cas is at peace, because he no longer fears and avoids his unconscious, he no longer needs to engage in suppression and repression of his emotions, and so his shadow no longer holds any sway over him, which is a fact given to us by how Cas’ ending in this narrative means him being free of the Empty. 
A freedom that never would have been granted, never would have been possible, without his faith in, his fighting for and his protection of Jack.
Cas’ words to Dean makes Dean begin his final steps into integration as well, meaning Cas’ declaration of love directly affects the outcome of the fight against Chuck, because Dean wants Cas back, but it’s not everything he’s focused on, since it shouldn’t be everything he’s focused on. 
It can’t be, since there are bigger fish to fry, and because of Cas’ view of him, Dean is opening up to his true self, to trust, to having faith in himself, which allows for a letting go of the need for control and thinking it’s all on him and everything is his responsibility or everyone dies. 
Thanks to this, we get Dean in teamwork mode with Sam and Jack, the three of them together figuring out how to manipulate Michael into bringing Chuck to them in order for Jack to de-power him. 
Dean’s integration is complete, and given to us through the symbology of his inner child (Jack) sucking the power out of his shadow (Chuck) and is then underlined by the ego (Dean) telling his de-powered shadow that it’s to be forgotten. Dean’s shadow, which has fed on and also fuelled the need in Dean for repression and suppression, no longer holds any sway over him. 
And Dean’s understanding and embracing of his true identity is highlighted by how he refuses to kill Chuck. 
Because that’s not who Dean is: he’s not a killer. He’s internalised Cas’ view of him. Cas’ truth making way for Dean’s own truth to shine a light. 
Dean is done with self-denial. And self-destruction. 
Which is what 15x20 is all about: that lack of self-destruction and the finality of goodbye.
Because Dean being shown to accept the finality of the loss of Cas has such direct bearing on Dean’s ability to accept the finality of saying goodbye to his brother.
The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
All of this, all of it, is because of and thanks to Cas’ LOVE for Dean. 
Thanks to the moment that allowed Cas to express it and to SEE Dean for who he truly is. 
Thanks to the moment of Cas’ integration we get Dean integrating.
And it’s so beautiful that it’s the loss of Cas this time that allows for Dean to do this, because he’s always plummeted into despair without Cas. His progression has slowed to a crawl without Cas in the narrative. His entire sense of self, his entire source of faith in anything, being drained out of him. 
This has been romantic and lovely and fabulous, but it’s also so unhealthy. 
Dean being shown to mourn, to want Cas back, to expect Cas at the end of that phone call, only for him to move away from the need and want to have Cas back, recognising that it’s possible Cas’ return is now an improbability and choosing to look to the future, because now he’s feeling worthy of a future, this is such an important detail for the love story to move from profound bond territory...
(where Cas used the bond forged by Heaven as an excuse for why he kept hanging around Dean) (Dean was his charge, his mission, he was meant to protect him) (a view shattered by Hester in S8) (and properly dismantled by the human!Cas arc) (at least the way I see it because that’s where Cas got that love he feels brought into actual stark relay like oh fuck I’m in love with him)
...to the healthy, selfless, loving side to that bond, which isn’t about self-deception, miscommunication and fear, but about blowing all of that apart, letting feelings flow freely, opening up to the truth of them, the strength of them, and these two men being able to finally free themselves of all those past doubts by embracing their true identities.
I realise there’s frustration that we only got part-textual Destiel. I felt it too. But I never expected canon Destiel. I hoped and wished, but up until Cas’ declaration of love, I questioned whether the studio would be onboard, and it turns out they weren’t okay with making SPN an overtly queer narrative. Was Cas’ declaration of love baiting or BYG? I hope my meta reading in this post will tell you how little I feel it was.
So then. Letting go of the initial shock of it all, I’m leaning on what I did expect: the love story so strongly highlighted in the subtext that we were all left with zero doubt that we’d been seeing it there for a reason.
Subtext is part of the text. For any writer worth their salt, subtext is more important than the surface text. Text without subtext is flat and dull. The text we’ve been dealing with for fifteen years has always had layers upon layers.
These final three episodes, as I’ve already pulled on above, brings it in spades and our subtext tells us plainly:
Dean Winchester is in love with Castiel, just as much as Castiel is in love with him. 
How does it tell us this plainly?
Cas is finally able to integrate because he opens up to the truth he’s carried with him for so long: his love for Dean. Unconditional. He no longer needs Dean to say it back, to validate the emotion, Cas is realising that happiness in the feeling itself, in acknowledging it and allowing it free rein. Cas moves into making peace with himself, for himself.
Now, we know Cas loves Dean because, well, declared, but why is it plain that Dean loves Cas back?
Firstly, because of the episode being entirely structured around people in love losing one half. That’s as much of an in-our-faces use of mirroring as underlining of the subtextual love story that we’ve ever gotten from Berens. 
Even stronger than the mirroring, for me, is the fact that Cas’ love for Dean allows Dean to finally move into integration. 
Cas’ words infuse Dean with a sense of self-worth that immediately paves way for him beginning to have all that faith in himself that Cas has always represented to him. The build from 15x18 through to 15x20 is like a gentle moving away from Cas being the external source of Dean’s faith, to Cas’ love and expressed faith revealing Dean’s internal source of faith in himself.
A source which has been suppressed and repressed out of a whole layer of different fears, which have in turn brought on the belief that a toxic masculinity armour was necessary for survival and that all feelings are weaknesses, but because of Cas’ faith in him, because of Cas’ expressed love, Dean is able to no longer need an external source of faith, because he’s now internalised and embraced the truth of what makes him who he is.
Just like Cas is shown to do, we’re given Dean recognising that the love he feels isn’t a weakness, but a strength, because Cas’ words is about Dean’s capacity for LOVE. It’s this love that takes away Chuck’s ability to tell Dean who he is. 
No one can tell you who you are -- you choose who to be. 
For his entire life, right up until that moment in that room with Cas, facing death (literally) all Dean can see himself as is someone who can do nothing and who knows nothing except how to give into his anger (he’s never been able to control it because he’s never recognised the source of it) and find something to kill.
This view of himself has been constantly whispered to him and reinforced by his unconscious, his Shadow-side, who’s kept Dean thinking that he doesn’t have good things last for him, ever, so he can’t have love in his life or a future to look forward to, because he doesn’t deserve it. A perpetual emotional roundabout where his Shadow-side has stayed in complete control.
One might argue this has always been the source of Dean’s anger: his inability to dare open up to his true identity that has kept the toxic masculinity armour in place, kept the performance up, kept him more often than not lying even to himself of who he is and who he wants to be, because he never felt there was a choice in the matter. 
Truly allowing himself to recognise and feel all that longing for love that’s been like a tight ball in his chest always, meant giving into weakness meant getting Sammy killed or himself or both of them meant failure.
But the only way to beat back and conquer our Shadow-side is by recognising and accepting our flaws and no longer feeling unworthy because of them.
That’s what Cas’ words and his love does for Dean. 
That’s right there in the subtext: Dean, even in the moments before certain death, being unable to open up to the truth of who he is and what really drives him; Dean needing his external source of faith, this man that he’s loved for a long time, to tell him that how he sees himself is wrong, to afford him a different view of himself, to bring the truth to light so that Dean can finally feel worthy it, because Dean couldn’t beat his Shadow back on his own, his dark view of himself was much too ingrained for that.
It had to be Cas. The narrative tells us it always had to be Cas. And so it is Cas who saves Dean from himself. And saves Dean’s life. And saves Dean from having to spend his afterlife in a prison of the mind.
Love wins.
And Cas only ever entered the narrative due to Dean’s need to Protect Sammy at all costs, because that has always been such a huge identity marker for Dean, his entire self-understanding and sense of self tied to whether he can keep his brother alive and out of harms way, which, as he grows up, then translates itself into Dean’s enormous capacity for selflessness and caring about others. 
His core trait was never weapon, it was shield. It was protector. Stemming directly from all that love he carries around and can’t allow himself to feel because it means weakness and that means death and that means he’s failed and is worthless and around it has always gone.
And would always have gone, too. If not for Cas.
Love fucking WINS.
I mean. DAMN! It’s so gorgeous.
(this angle still holds even if Dean in any way was ever meant to actually reciprocate in that scene, because it’s made so clear to us how Cas never expects Dean to say it back) (if Dean is meant to say it back and the love story is meant to be textual that would be mind-blowing head-exploding joyful news) (but it doesn’t change the subtextual move away from unhealthy holding on to healthy letting go) (the textual would only ever strengthen the fact that we have subtextual confirmation) 
But what about...?
Yeah, but what about that ending then? What about the last twenty minutes? What about all the focus on the brothers? 
Was the execution of the finale perfect? No, I wouldn’t say it was, but I could see, when I watched the finale again on the 21st, that there was efforts made to make something good enough. Something geared toward tying our narrative up as best as possible with the means presented to Dabb. 
I understand why people feel stuff is missing.
Because stuff is missing. Dabb told us they had to change the ending, that they were supposed to have a whole lot of people back to populate Dean’s Heaven. Found family galore. Misha said the same thing. They couldn’t (I’m not going to speculate on why, it’s just clear that they couldn’t) and so the ending had to be modified. To me that’s fairly plain in how it’s structured.
Did they have to focus so hard on the brothers?
Well... given the restrictions, I think this was the only way to end this narrative, because the story has always been centred on these two brothers and the bad choices and sacrifices they’ve made, and the blood, sweat and tears they’ve shed in order to remain together.
Their absolute inability to let the other go actually kick-started their onscreen journey.
Because this is a story about dependency, and letting go of that dependency to make way for a healthy, equal coexisting; which is what, to me, that final shot is all about.
Should Cas and Jack have been there? Sure! There will always be stuff missing from the final two eps that I’ll wonder about. Like, if Cas was never meant to be in the story (as per Misha he was but let’s say for argument’s sake) then why didn’t Dean just ask, very calmly, in 15x19 of Jack our New God: “What about Cas?” and then Jack our New God could’ve answered gently, but plainly: “He’s at peace.” Simple. Why didn’t we get an establishing of Eileen as Sam’s wife? And it would’ve helped so much to have Charlie and Stevie reestablished in the visual narrative as alive, however plain it is to me that Jack will have brought them back with everyone else who were away-ed by Chuck.
Sure, there could’ve been more.
But what I love about that final shot of the brothers is this canonical fact:
It would not have been possible without Cas. 
Cas learning and growing and integrating to the point that he knows exactly how to fix the home he’s broken more than once, and how to bring free will, at long last, to Heaven, to the benefit of humanity.
And Dean’s little sideways smile (his “I want this smile”) when Cas is mentioned, when he realises that Heaven is different thanks to Cas, well, isn’t that just the darnedest thing? 
*forever headcanon that Dean was expecting to see Cas again somewhere somehow he just didn’t know when and now... here Cas is* 
When Cas went, it took a little time to adjust, but Dean let go of Cas and didn’t make a deal and didn’t go crazy or self-destructive, there was no nosediving into depression, because Cas’ words made those types of coping mechanisms no longer necessary. 
Dean drinks and indulges at the start of 15x19 because he’s still processing, but by 15x20 Cas’ words have been fully internalised, Dean has integrated, and he’s looking to the future. Set on living, because otherwise he’d render Cas’ sacrifice meaningless.
Dean’s death has zero blaze and glory to it. He didn’t expect this day to be the day. But it is. And he accepts it. And because he does, because he’s open and honest with his brother, because he tells Sam all the words he needs Sam to carry with him, gives Sam all the faith in himself that Cas left Dean with, he’s brought to a Heaven that has been readied for him by the love of his life. 
Cas is right there. And he’s been waiting. And he’s used his time well, because Heaven is now the afterlife that Dean deserves. The ultimate salvation. Love and happiness and companionship and LOVE LOVE LOVE. Forever.
If that isn’t the biggest reward for the both of them after everything they’ve been through, I don’t even know what is!
Sam arriving is a given, but I have to say I genuinely do not see Sam as living his life in pain and grief. He’s happy. He loves his kid. He’s a good father. Just like Dean was, and Bobby, and Cas. All the Good Father figures threaded through 15x20. And this narrative has been about these two brothers. It ending on them together, at peace, feels fitting. 
Yeah, but shouldn’t Dean have gotten to live his life?
Sure, this is my interpretation 100%, but Dean’s death feels softly ironic and fitting because it is unexpected. 
I can’t hit on this enough: there’s no blaze and glory.
Dean was ready to make the most of life, but through accepting death and accepting separation from Sam, Dean is brought into the same moment Cas was brought into, a moment of recognising what’s important, where Dean opens up fully to vulnerability and hands over his trust and faith in that Sam will be fine without him, which pushes Sam into the same integration that Cas’ words afforded Dean. Voicing trust and faith will do that for a person.
And Sam’s arc was always dependent, narratively, on the progression of Dean’s arc, so it makes a lot of narrative sense that this needed to happen for Sam to get pushed out of the nest and forced into having proper faith in himself. Because there’s no other choice. 
He’s left doing what he has to and it results in a balance between that family life he’s always wanted (foreshadowed in 15x01) and staying aware of and raising his son to be aware of the reality of their world, given to us via the tattoo on Dean Jr.’s wrist. (oofta I wish he’d had a different name but since everything had to be done in the visual narrative it’s the easiest way to connect us with Dean still being present in Sam’s life so I get it)
There’s also that romantic in me that feels as though Dean is greatly rewarded for all his suffering and struggles, for all those years of living his life in fear and feeling as though he doesn’t matter by not only bringing him into a Heaven he made possible, but by reuniting him with the love of his life and this time they’re equally immortal, equally made of light, equally eternal, equally integrated and balanced and ready to accept all that love and happiness.
That just makes me fucking happy. For them both.
Bring on the New Beginnings
The fact that the narrative has opened itself up to being interpreted as somehow glorifying death or saying that happiness can only be found in death is distressing, but I hope that the threads I’ve pulled on here gives enough of a basis for me to say how I truly feel like this is simplifying why the choice was made for Dean to die.
It’s not about happiness only being found in death. 
It’s not about devaluing living your life, it’s about the idea, the soft hope, even the narrative promise that death, for our characters, not for humanity as a whole, but for these specific men, who have always avoided it and made bad deals and feared separation and been brought into a crisis of identity (Dean because he doesn’t know who he is without Protect Sammy as purpose and Sam because he genuinely and continuously seem convinced that he can’t hunt without Dean to lead the way) whenever death has touched them have now reached a point where the separation is an accepted part of life.
And this acceptance is rewarded: because the separation isn’t forever.
Death is not the end. It makes way for new beginnings. For all three of TFW. Actually all four, because of course Jack is included in this endgame.
There’s a transformation that takes place, thanks to them integrating. They get to transcend what’s come before and move onto the next plane of existence together. 
Together.
TFW 3.0!
Death on this show has always been about a moment of rebirth, of entering a different leg of their journeys.  
I don’t find it out of place at all that the ultimate moment of death for our characters mean just that. 
Not an ending, but a new beginning.
In conclusion
Could there have been more? As said, yes. Absolutely yes. But I doubt Dabb isn’t aware of that. I don’t think this is the ending he originally intended. It might have been a brothers focused ending, because I think Dean was always meant to die and go to Heaven, but Dean’s Heaven was meant to be a celebration of found family. 
The subtext of this narrative is what I’ve been reading and what I’ve been hooked on for four years, and what I’ll continue to be hooked on for the rest of my life, I’m fairly sure. I wish it could be celebrated, the way it always has been, the way we’ve always known to look deeper.
I hoped Supernatural would turn out to be a vehicle for overt representation. I always hoped that, and believe that was what the writers wanted. The fact that we didn’t get overt bisexual Dean and Destiel as unquestionable canon was distressing to me too and I’ll always think of this ending as a missed opportunity and I wish the CW would learn and fucking do better already. 
I understand the frustration, I understand the anger, I just wish we could all look at the richness of this ending and everything it says about the narrative, about our subtext, about our love story, about our character journeys, and lean into the treasury of it.
And omfg we got Cas as canonically queer. 
We got a main character on our show that is overt representation, on a journey towards a moment where he gets to express love and hope and clarity and this in turn moving through and enabling the integration of Dean and ultimately of Sam as well.
Truth begetting truth. Happiness begetting happiness. And love saving the day.
So, my friends, I will say this: saying that all the writing is bad, or claiming that there’s no depth, nothing to pull on, that it all just plain sucked, that doesn’t quite cut it. These three final episodes, just as any episode ever of this goddamn show, contain all of those layers and layers, especially when looked at together and certainly when taken into the context of the show as a whole.
And yes, you are, of course, more than welcome to your own interpretation! 
To finish I’ll quote Bruce Almighty: 
Lovelovelovelovelovelovelove!! 
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laufire · 3 years
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Supernatural s2
I’m halfway through s3 already (technically a rewatch, but there were episodes I didn’t watch the first time around), so this post is a little overdue lol. At this rhythim the posts will overlap. Plus I’m hoping I can finish s4-5 during the holidays to see the ~intended ending~ before I have to slow down on the binge-watch. After that, a season a month sounds achievable AND won’t take longer than 2021 xD
ANYWAY.
-Overall, I’ve enjoyed it more than the first one, but at the same time I’ve found myself missing how... claustrophobic? Insular? Compact? That one was. s2 was about the world opening up just a little bit more, introducing new characters to the brothers’ life, etc. I do love the detail that this is something that can only have, narratively speaking, once John is dead. Again: this show gets abusive families, consciously or not.
-The foreshadowing is beautifully done. 15 seasons make for a lot of unintentional and ironic foreshadowing later on, I’m sure, but the purposeful foreshadowing is superb this season. About the crossroads deals, of course, but especially about John’s last words. I already knew he’d told Dean he might have to kill Sam (father of the year, seriously. Though I side-eye the fandom even more for always having acted as if this is only awful for Dean lol), so I was hyperaware of every single detail. My favourite moment was the absolute horror of hearing Gordon proudly, cheerfully relate how he murdered his sister when she became a vampire (which, btw, as someone that’s still bitter about what went down with the Gunn siblings on Angel, I found it healing to see something like that treated as a horror story).
-Speaking of Gordon: I unashamedly love his character lmfao. Sterling K. Brown is mesmerizing, always. At the same time, I have serious mixed feelings (especially after seeing his arc in full in s3) because man, if it isn’t a racist mess. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s not exactly revolutionary that the first time we see the story from the monster’s POV (something I want the show to do! Often!), it’s when white monsters are stalked and brutalized by our first black hunter. Especifically a white woman, btw (although I’m happy to see Tara Maclay as a brunette vampire. I didn’t know I needed that in my life, but I did). And you can tell that the show thinks it’s just so SMART and FUNNY to have a ~racist black hunter!! I mean, the comment about how psychic kids would be “betraying their race” if they allied with demons?? FFS.
And ofc there’s the fact that he’s condemned for the exact same type of stuff that makes Dean be hailed as a hero lmfao. Though I won’t like, I love the moment where, faced with the comparison, Dean’s response is “I might be like you, I might not. But you’re the one tied up.” I love those kinds of character moments. As of s2 I officially have a love-hate relationship with Dean Winchester, I hate it here xDD
But still, on his own, Gordon is an amazing character (it’s one of the most frustrating things about the show, the greatness tainted by the bigotry :))). Charismatic, terrifying, and ofc superbly acted. Also, I love that the fact that he praised John (as opposed to every other hunter having a rockier relationship with him) is clearly supposed to be a red flag LMFAO.
-I enjoy how the seasons delves more deeply into Sam’s ~~dark origins, since it was my fave thing about him way back when. I’m already mourning the (as I suspect) lost of his powers, ngl. There’s a little more attention in how he tends to over-identify with supernatural creatures struggling with their ~dark sides too (bitch me too, the fuck xD), which I LOVE to see (among other reasons because at least in that way we get a little of their POV in the forefront lol). One of my favourites in that sense was the episode centered around the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-ghost, played by Tricia Helfer. I clocked early one what was going on, but it was still very enjoyable, especially with Sam’s empathy with her (contrasted by Dean being a total bitch about it, btw. I can’t believe I still see post about how Dean is all heart/kindness/compassion/whatever the fuck. Dean is all about selective empathy and only when it conveniences him, pls).
I was more divided on the episode with Madison the werewolf, tbh. OTOH it put Sam in a better position, for a change xD. As the one willing to make The Hard Choices by fulfilling his promise to kill her because she was dangerous, even when Dean offered to ~take the burden from him. OTOH I hate that kind of thing lol. YOU GUYS KNOW A HUNTER PRO LIKE BOBBY, I BET HE COULD’VE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING TO CONTAIN HER A FEW NIGHTS A MONTH. Also, my immediate reaction was to compare this to when my man Angel had a crush on a werelady and helped her every month lmfao. But then, very few characters can withstand a comparison with Angel, in any sense :P
I also liked Sam’s subplot with his fellow demon-psychic kids, though I wish it’d lasted longer :/ (also: RME at the queer girl dying almost immediately AND her power being killing people, her girlfriend first of all, with her touch. The black guy was the last one to die at least...?). My fave was Ava, by far. I loved her since her reaction to helping Sam stealing a psychiatrist’s records was yelling “I’M AWESOME!!”. It made it easy to buy that someone that appeared so mundane, with her easy life and her fiance and whatnot, would become so power hungry and go off the rails, IMO.
BTW: RME at Dean being all “oh Sam is going too dark/becoming to cold” when Sam kills Jake. Jake ripped off his spine and killed him first!! It both amuses me and infuriates me all the times Dean tries to push Sam to be more like himself and then freaks out whenever Sam is not all sunshine and rainbows (while still remaining, IMO, far less cold than Dean himself. Besides, it’s not easy to be colder than Dean, lol).
Lastly, a little character detail I loved was when Sam was jealous about Dean being in the federal database but not himself lmfao. 
-I loved the new foreshadowing crumb with Sam finding out Mary knew the demon, too (information he’ll withhold from Dean, which I approve of LOL). I mean, I know exactly what’s up, I’ve watched most of s4 xD (also, what is UP with this family and making deals with demons. Everyone but Sam so far!! And then HE gets dragged for ~getting too close to one smh. Maybe lead by example!! Also also: yes, it was meant to be ambiguous, but I can’t help but notice the only kiss-pact -or further, depending to how close YED was to Lilith’s levels, since to make a deal with her you have to fuck xD- we didn’t see was the one that must’ve happened between John and YED. Cowards!! xD). Still. I’m so curious about her. Her resurrection is one of the main reasons I’m determined to make it to the later seasons, ngl.
-Another thing I LOVED about this season is how they used sibling relationships to parallel/foreshadow stuff about the brothers, the way s1 did often with fathers. I’ve already mentioned Gordon and his sister, but the others are not less brutal imo: Andy having to kill his evil twin, who wanted him all for himself (... Dean is that you xD); the little girl’s ghost who wanted her grand-niece to commit suicide to stay with her, and didn’t give in until her old sister agreed to die in her place. It was chilling. Also, at one point the parallel was between the brothers and a married couple (the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-ghost) and asñdlfkajsf. I’m guessing they had fun with the shippers lol.
Speaking of the brothers’ relationship, this season also goes a little further in escalating the violence between them, when Dean punches Sam in the face and he refuses to respond (“you can hit me all you want, it won’t change anything”. Fuck), or when Dean again punches Sam after Sam was possessed by Meg ¬¬
-Going back to my love-hate relationship with Dean, lmfao. My biggest beef remains how much validation his POV gets from the narrative, granted or not; he’s one of the most irritating cases of protagonist-centered morality and I know it’s only going to get worse smh. At least this season it feels a little more balanced than in s1, with episodes like the one where the civilian Sam had tried to keep away dies halfway through the ep because Dean allowed him to get involved, for example. Still, it grates on me xD. The continuing prison rape jokes/demonic possession rape jokes (with Meg and Sam), his general grossness with women and his lack of sympathy for non-humans even when they’re not trying to hurt anyone don’t exactly help. Also, I often see him praised for some of his political views, a lot of which I agree with (his mistrust of cops, saying convicts don’t deserve to die no matter what they do), but when contrasted with his general attitude across the show it’s really grating ngl.
But then he has such AMAZING character details thrown in, that make me appreciate him as a POV character nonetheless, as much as I often want to curb stomp the guy xD. I loved his speech about how there’s no such thing as a dignified death. I love how he refused to come near his mother’s grave, both at the beginning and at the end of the episode (this show is like, the cure to DCCW’s shows false fuzzy sentimentality istg). I love his pop-culture references, like when Sam mentions Dean always thought OJ was the murderer or Dean jokes about freeing Katie Holmes from Scientology’s cult xD (sometimes it really hits you how old this show is lol). I enjoyed his Wishverse episode, and his lines after Sam dies/he sells his soul to save him (“I had one job”, “my life can mean something”) hit HARD.
But most of all? I LOVE how and why he starts losing respect for John. It’s so fucking cold and abrupt and makes so much sense!! Like, yes, part of it is John’s message about killing Sam (... again, father of the year!), but most of all it’s about John making a pact with a demon and dying TO SAVE DEAN (and probably, simply that he died at all. That shit de-mystifies anyone). IT’S SO FUCKING GREAT TO WATCH. “He spent his life chasing that demon. He was supposed to die fighting, not making a deal with the damn thing. That was supposed to be his legacy, not this." Damn, Dean xDD. The *contempt* with which he said that killed me.
I also love his inherently atheist vision of the world (even if yes, it’s extremely funny knowing this show has canon God and angels and shit -no Jesus Christ though, which I find endlessly funny-, or that they actually meet the archangel Gabriel in disguise xD. Either way, the episode with the fake angel and its foreshadowing was hilarious), his anti-destiny stance, and that it’s him and not John who gets to kill YED.
-I liked Ellen and Jo. Not LOVED, but I liked them. I keep fearing that secondary (especially female) characters will feel empty/shallow but the show keeps proving me wrong, even with one-episode wonders, and at first I wasn’t sure about them, but I was sold quickly. Partially because of the actresses, they both had this... humanizing, endearing quality? It worked really well.  I also loved the explicit contrast between John and Ellen’s parenting styles, with Ellen wanting Jo to return to school and be safe from the hunt, and Jo wanting something different. Also, I wouldn’t ship it if you paid me, but LOL at anyone who actually buys Dean sees Jo as a ~little sister just because MEG said that rme.
This show is just REALLY good when it comes to giving depth to a character with only a couple of brush strokes, which makes it all the more frustrating when they abruptly die or disappear to never be seen again/only once more (to abruptly die!) :)))
I was less sold on Ash; he was amusing, but having a Genius Hacker TM helping them out seemed like the beginning of increasingly giving the brothers ways of deux ex machina-ing them out of problems, when one of my favourite things about the show is seeing them creatively find ways out themselves. I like when they’re competent! Like with the multitude of codes they have to improvise plans, like in the episode where with two words through a lawyer they implemented a quick scheme so that Sam would escape from a police precinct. I like that stuff.
-I’m still so bitterly jealous about the dead man’s blood hurting vampires detail. SO BITTERLY JEALOUS. I love a lot of what this show does with its lore but that little bit is the worst offender. I want it so bad xD
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miss-musings · 5 years
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Explaining Cap’s last two scenes in Endgame
DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU’VE SEEN ENDGAME. SERIOUSLY! I HAD THIS PART OF THE MOVIE SPOILED FOR ME, SO DO NOT READ BELOW THE JUMP OR SKIP THE REST OF THE POST UNLESS YOU’VE SEEN IT. PERIOD. THANKS!
So, like many people, I had a problem with Captain America’s final adventure in Endgame. The emotional beat of it wasn’t what bothered me; it was the temporal reasoning. How could Old Cap be on the bench with everyone post-Endgame even though he went back in time and lived a life with Peggy and it wouldn’t be the same timeline???
The movie goes out of its way to explain how time travel works in this universe, versus other time-travel-related movies. And let me summarize it for you.
Basically, in movies and TV shows, there are generally three main ways that the mechanics of time travel work.
1. There’s a causal loop. Whatever happened in the past has always happened, and anyone from the future trying to interfere with the past doesn’t work, because it’s what’s always happened. Think of the original Terminator movie.
2. There’s a single timeline and traveling back creates a ‘ripple effect’ on it. If you travel back to the past and change *anything*, it will cause a ‘butterfly effect’ on the future, and the future you came from will no longer exist. Now you will be traveling back to a different, effected future. Think of the Back to the Future franchise, or how Barry used time travel in episode 2x17 of The Flash.
3. There’s basically a multiverse of various timelines, and you when you travel back in time, you’re only changing the course of events for another timeline, not your own. Think of Future Trunks and Cell in Dragonball Z or Future Janeway in the series finale of Star Trek: Voyager.
Now, #3 is how Endgame does its time travel, essentially. This makes sense, as its the one that involves or creates the least amount of paradox. Banner/Hulk explains that no matter what they do in ‘the past’ (read separate timelines) they cannot change what’s already happened in their own past. Instead, anything that changes (like Loki stealing the Tesseract or 2014′s Thanos finding out about the Infinity Stones early), creates alternate timelines which are then like their own little universe.
Ok. So, let’s define terminology then.
Let’s say the main universe, the one where Infinity War happened and then Thanos destroyed the Infinity Stones is Universe A. And, let’s say that any alternate timeline(s) that were created by the team’s meddling (Loki escaping, Thanos coming to Universe A, etc.) are collectively Universe B. Don’t know whether it’d be the same timeline or separate ones, but I don’t think it really matters, because we’re just going to be focusing on Cap and his time-travel adventure.
So, Cap from Universe A travels back to Universe B and puts the stones back where and when they were taken from. Then, he travels back to the 40s to spend the rest of his life with Universe B’s Peggy.
Now, again, this doesn’t have any effect on Universe A. This isn’t like Back to the Future. Universe A’s Peggy mourned Steve, helped start SHIELD, married another guy, had kids, etc. We don’t know what Universe B’s Peggy did, other than dance with Steve in that final shot.
A lot of people are upset because it means that Cap let everything in the MCU happen -- Hydra, Infinity War, etc. He didn’t save Bucky. Blah, blah, blah.
NO. Because here’s what *I* think happened.
Again, this is just conjecture.
So. It’s been a while since I watched Captain America: The First Avenger. But, I believe Cap was like 25 or so when he was frozen at the end. That means when he was thawed out in 2011, he was still 25 (biologically). So, we know that Endgame takes place in 2023, as they say it’s been five years since Infinity War, which canonically happened in 2018. So, let’s say Cap is about 35-40 during Endgame.
Granted, I don’t know how the Super Soldier serum works on his aging/metabolism, but let’s say that he ages at the same rate as a normal person.
Now, then at the end of Endgame after he puts the Infinity Stones back, he travels back to the 40s and lives out the rest of his life with Peggy -- in Universe B. Except that means that, if Cap was 35-40 when he arrived in Universe B’s mid-40s and then lived until 2023, he would be 113-118 years old on that bench. Not impossible, but he definitely didn’t look like a 113 year old. (Again, I’m assuming he ages normally with the serum). He looked more like he was in his 80s.
And, plus, it doesn’t make sense with how the timelines work in this movie anyway. Even if Cap really lived to be 113 years old in 2023, he wouldn’t be sitting on that bench, because as we discussed, he would be in a completely different universe (Universe B).
Here’s what I think happened.
Our Cap (of Universe A) went back and lived his life with Peggy in Universe B. Maybe he couldn’t really be open about the fact that he was Captain America/Steve Rogers, as his Universe B self is still frozen and would have to be thawed out before Universe B’s 2012 attack on New York takes place. Maybe he does what he can to stop Hydra or defend people or whatever. That seems very Cap. Anyway. So, maybe about the time that Universe B’s 1990s roll around, he’s gotten older and realizes that he’s at the end of his life. He and Peggy have lived together happily for 40+ years and -- plus -- Universe B’s SHIELD is probably going to find his Universe B counterpart in the ice within the next few years.
So -- this is my hypothesis -- once it reaches the 1990s (or whenever) in Universe B, Cap gets back in his little time travel suit one more time and goes back to Universe A post-Endgame. Maybe he gets back a little bit before they send his younger self back to Universe B with the hammer and the stones. Or maybe he makes his original time stamp. He just doesn’t land in the spot they expect. Either way, he’s sitting on the bench, waiting to talk to Sam.
That’s the only way this makes sense -- Cap would’ve had to travel back to Universe A from living the his life with Peggy in Universe B. He likely kept the suit and maybe one of the Pym Particles to do exactly that (or he had Universe B’s Pym make him some). Plus, we saw that the Avengers were able to pop back and forth between their own universe (Universe A) and the one or multiple alternate timelines they created with their meddling somewhat freely. There was no ripple effect on Universe/Timeline A.
The time travel HAS to work this way in the MCU, because otherwise, with 2014’s Thanos being killed in 2023, that means that Infinity War wouldn’t have happened, and thus all the events of Endgame wouldn’t have happened either. See. Paradox?
This would allow Cap to live his life in Universe B doing whatever he wanted -- stopping Hydra, helping Peggy start SHIELD, saving Bucky, etc. -- WITHOUT it impacting Universe A. Because, again, as we discussed, that’s now how time travel works in this movie.
We just have to make the assumption that Old Steve traveled back to Universe A at some point, off screen, and is sitting there on the bench, waiting to talk to Sam at the end of the movie.
Boom. Problem solved, and all your little headcanons about Steve being a badass in Universe B can still be valid.
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avengeher · 7 years
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Brave Little One. 5.
Summary: The one where Captain America refuses to sign the accords and the ink of your signature was practically already drying on the page.
Pairing: Steve/Reader (female pronouns)
Words: 1400+
A/N: Alright, this is a bit all over the place but we’re about back into the action and I'm excited guys. But we gotta get there first, and i don't actually hate the build up lol
The room they stuck you and Bucky into was no better than a prison. It was windowless, quiet and far too large for just the both of you. The men who’d put you in here, sliding you by an angry Captain America, Falcon and random agents like some fucking parade, had left without a word and you wondered what they’d do to you next.
“They are going to have us psychologically evaluated.” You weren’t saying Bucky was a mind reader but if you were to say something, it would be that Bucky is a mind reader. “They’ll want to see how dangerous I am, and you.” He didn’t look at you despite the fact that his ‘cage’ was facing yours and you didn’t blame him, letting the silence settle over you both like an itchy blanket til you couldn’t take it anymore.
“What’s your name?”
“You know my name.”
“No, I know that Steve calls you Bucky. What do you want to be called?” You stretched your legs out, leaning back against the glass wall once more as his eyes snapped to yours, beginning to calculate you. He was sizing you up, and once again, you didn’t blame him. You were an unknown factor; plus, you'd already done the same to him.
“Bucky is fine.” You nodded, glancing at the hinges of your cage to see if you could possibly get out. All you needed was a sliver of open glass, then it was game over.
“What is it you can do?” You didn’t spare him a glance, shrugging your shoulders instead. “I saw you move the rocks.”
“I can do a little bit of everything when elements are involved. Earth, fire, water, air, the whole shebang.” He didn’t respond and you finally locked eyes with his. “Do I scare you Bucky?” He seemed surprised you were not only continuing to talk to him, but asking his opinion and you wondered how long it’d been since he’d gotten to just choose something, not having it decided for him.
“Are you scared of me?” 
“Answering a question with a question isn’t very polite.”
“Assuming that everyone you meet is scared of you isn’t very polite, either.” You quirked a smile, a laugh escaping as you nodded at him.
“You’ve got jokes Mr. Barnes, but you still haven’t answered me.” You didn’t know why you were so insistent that he answered. Perhaps you were searching for validation, or you just wanted someone to understand you. Either way, you weren’t letting it go.
“No.” Internally, you breathed a sigh of relief. Someone wasn’t scared of you.
“Me either.”
“You’re not scared of yourself?”
“I meant I’m not scared of you.”
“You should be.” He mumbled, fingers on his left arm clenching around the armrests as he glanced up into the corners. “They are listening.” You could recognize an attempt at a subject change anywhere, and you let him get away with it this time because this was not the place to be making friends.
Neither of you said another word after realizing they were indeed listening and would be noting each word with careful consideration. Well, you didn’t speak out loud. You kept your gaze locked with his, communicating in the simple flick of eyes and silent agreements.
You had to escape because the only way Ross was going to let you leave was in body bags.
-
Stev was barely able to catch Bucky’s eye as they hauled the crates with you both in them, out into the open. He hadn’t even gotten a glimpse of you and he knew Ross was doing it on purpose, but Bucky still knew him so well. With a head nod, tap of two fingers, Stev knew their code for ‘its okay’ anywhere.
“What are you going to do them?” He demanded of Evrett Ross, the guy’s smug little rat face rubbing him the wrong way.
“Same thing that ought to happen to you. Psychological evaluation and extradition.”
“The girl did not do anything.” T’challa was suddenly on their side and it almost made Stev’s head swivel. He was certain the guy hated them after Sam’s cat comment.
“She tried to help an escaped convict escape.”
“We weren’t trying to help him escape, we were trying to bring him in without him being shot on site.” Evrett gave him a look that spelled ‘i don't believe you’ before turning on his heels and walking away. “Asshole.”
“Dang Cap, you kiss your mama with that mouth?” Sam tried to lighten the mood but Stev was too pissed now. The Ross’ were just a bunch of grade a jerks.
Luckily, they hadn’t tried to lock him or motor mouth Sam in a cell but a rather spacious office. Although it did feel like they were on display in a glass fish bowl. That is where Stark found him pacing about, overlooking the control room. He should have known something was up when Stark produced two old fountain pens, waxing poetic about putting Buck in a psych facility instead of a Wakandan prison.
“And what about her?” Steve nodded in the vicinity of the control room where they were watching you and Bucky be put into holding but he still couldn’t see you. It was really pissing him off.
“She is willing to sign, so we let her sign and I get you and Wanda reinstated.”
“What about Wanda?” Steve had picked up the pen, already leaning into ink the tip. He didn’t care if every member of the team, the governments of the world or anyone else thought signing was right. You did, and that’s what counted in his opinion. He had, had way too long to think on the ride here and realizing that you had followed him into every death-defying situation, all the fights and not once doubter or questioned him was like a punch to the gut. He had taken that for granted, not realizing that the only reason he was 100% positive about each situation is because you were too. Now he was questioning himself. Which moves had led to this, which ones did you follow just because he was leading you - how many almost got you killed and yet you still trusted him, loved him and the one time you disagree he basically calls you a traitor in the middle of everyone?
“She’s fine, currently confined to the compound with Vision for company.” And there it was. The reason he couldn’t sign. Wanda, the young girl who’d faced so much atrocity, was being held against her will because she was ‘too dangerous’. All they were doing was affirming her self hatred for herself.
“Gosh Tony. Every single time, every time I think you see things the right way-“
“What? It’s 100 acres with a lap pool. It’s got a screening room. There is worse ways to protect people.”
“But who are you protecting Tony? Civilians? Because it certainly isn’t Wanda!”
“I am protecting her because she’s not a US citizen, refusing to sign and they are chomping at the bit to get her away from the public.”
“So locking her up yourself is the way to do it?”
“They don’t grant visas to weapons.”
“She’s a kid Tony!”
“Give me a break Steve!” There was a heavy moment, both breathing a little too harshly and Steve found himself looking around the room for your calming face. It broke his heart not to find it there. He had to get you out. “I’m doing what has to be done.”
“You keep telling yourself that.” He tossed the fountain pen beside the other. “I’d hate to break up the set.” He fled from the room, anger coursing through his veins as he found the room they'd stuffed Sam, Natasha and now Sharon in.
“You okay?” Sam questioned, accepting the curt nod as good enough. That’s all Steve was able to give at the moment.
Sharon took stock of the people around her, the broken team with a semi-broken leader and sighed to herself. These people were going to get her fired. She accidentally leaned onto the control switch and the TV above them flickered to life, the crates containing you and Bucky finally being locked into place as the sound cut on. Steve’s eyes flickered to hers, noticed her nonchalant attitude and gave her a nod of thanks. She chalked it up to a win for the good guys.
Brave Little One Tags: @curlycals, @supernaturalham, @ohdarlingsx, @lanadelmatte
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holisticfansstuff · 6 years
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Re Max Landis
DISTURBING
‘Bright’ Screenwriter Max Landis Accused of Sexual-Assault
MARLOW STERN
12.23.17 9:00 PM ET
FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY
Netflix’s first blockbuster movie, the $90 million fantasy-actionerBright, is a steaming pile of orc shit; a nonsensical garbage pile featuring elves, orcs, a checked-out Will Smith, Chicanx gangster stereotypes worse than those regrettable “Homies” figurines (a trademark of its director David Ayer), and a slow-motion shootout set to Bastille that’ll make you want to go full Sam Neill in the final third of Event Horizon—that is, rip your own eyes out and run around naked attacking people.
It is also, according to the testimonies of several industry people on Twitter, written by an alleged sexual predator.
Bright was written by Max Landis, a 32-year-old screenwriter who became a hot Hollywood commodity after penning 2012’s found-footage superhero film Chronicle. Since then, however, he’s been attached to a string of misfires, from his directorial debut Me Him Her to the forgettable flicksAmerican Ultra, Mr. Right, andVictor Frankenstein. In the wake of Bright’s critical drubbing, people have mocked Landis’ considerable privilege, given both the amount of opportunities he’s been given since Chronicle, a film that was more effects and performance-driven, and the fact that he is the son of John Landis, the celebrated filmmaker behind classics like National Lampoon’s Animal House, Trading Places,Coming to America, and the “Thriller” music video.
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Despite the poor reception, Netflix has reportedly green-lit a sequel to Bright, with Smith attached in the starring role. It is unclear if Landis will be writing the script.
In the early hours Friday morning, Netflix’s official Twitter account sent out a tweet promoting the premiere ofBright, set to debut that day. Anna Akana, an actress who appeared in a Landis-helmed YouTube video titled Wrestling Isn’t Wrestling, responded to the tweet, writing: “Written by a psychopath who sexually abused and assaults women, right? Cool.”
Written by a psychopath who sexually abused and assaults women, right? Cool
— Anna Akana (@AnnaAkana)December 22, 2017
The tweet from Akana, who did not elaborate further, led others to take to Twitter and accuse Landis of sexual misconduct—including Zoe Quinn, a prominent video game developer and artist, who unleashed a Twitter thread directed at Landis that began with: “Sometimes men who commit sexual assault are talented screenwriters and their work comes with baggage. other times, they’re Max Landis.” Quinn further alleged that Landis’ abuse was an “open secret” in Hollywood, and that she’d been withholding the story for a while because “him & his dad are powerful figures.”
Sometimes men who commit sexual assault are talented screenwriters and their work comes with baggage.
other times, they’re Max Landis.
— questionable rat currency (@UnburntWitch) December 23, 2017
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Folks were mad that a Pepe Le Pew movie was being made because who needs a movie about a rapist skunk but at least it meant max landis could switch from cringe fiction to finally writing his autobiography and writing what he knows
— questionable rat currency (@UnburntWitch) December 23, 2017
It probably has been an open secret for so long because it’s hard to talk about the seriously fucked up shit he’s done when you say his name and everyone within earshot has to seek medical care from reflexively rolling their eyes so hard they sprain. you can’t control it.
— questionable rat currency (@UnburntWitch) December 23, 2017
I’ve been holding in this shit for years as more friends have accrued “max landis stories” bc it wasn’t my place and him & his dad are powerful figures so naturally going against that is terrifying for survivors so I’m SO glad people are finding out what a piece of shit he is.
— questionable rat currency (@UnburntWitch) December 23, 2017
I hope each one of his teeth break individually.
— questionable rat currency (@UnburntWitch) December 23, 2017
my last encounter with him was watching him tell my friend on the night that her ex beat her up that since she’s gotten abused before she should figure out what she’s doing to cause all that drama for herself and not to reach out to friends about it on social media
— questionable rat currency (@UnburntWitch) December 23, 2017
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I hope this means I don’t have to avoid more cool parties that I know he’s been invited to too because life is too short to deal with someone who is like if a gross uncle and cocaine had a baby and the baby was also a rapist
— questionable rat currency (@UnburntWitch) December 23, 2017
Talk alluding to Landis’ alleged history of sexual misconduct has been floating around industry circles for quite some time. And back in early November, MADmagazine editor Allie Goertz sent out a cryptic tweet that read, “I can’t imagine who is more scared in a post-Weinstein world than a famous director’s son.” The tweet was, according to several people familiar, about Landis, and the thread prompted a reply from Akana, writing, “Believe you. Support you.”
Earlier this week, Jake Weisman, creator of the upcoming Comedy Central series Corporate, composed a tweet that appeared to be directed at Landis: “Definitely watch that big Netflix movie coming out, written by that fucking psychopath who is one of the worst people alive.” Mike Drucker, a writer for The President Show, replied to it with: “Jake, I have exactly entirely 100% no idea of whom you’re talking about but I just hope he doesn’t have a powerful father in Hollywood who’s covered up for the fucked up shit he’s done.”
Former BBC host and sketch-comedy writer Siobhan Thompson then responded to Drucker’s tweet, writing: “I don’t know who you mean but if that’s true I bet I have SEVERAL friends who have been sexually assaulted by him.”
I don't know who you mean but if that's true I bet I have SEVERAL friends who have been sexually assaulted by him
— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) December 19, 2017
Landis also has a history of making outrageously problematic statements. Back in 2013, the then 28-year-old rising screenwriting star did an interview with Shelby Sells (that has since been deleted), where he discussed sex and Hollywood—including an episode wherein he alleges that an extra on one of his films tried to pursue him, so he gave her his number “because i was like, why not? maybe i’ll hook her up with one of my friends.” 
“Women who are throwing it that easy—they’re not doing it because they think i’m cute, they’re doing it because they need some kind of validation. i’m a tiny, tiny bit successful, but in the scale of things you’re gonna fuck me for no reason? i don’t see it. i’m not on that level. i’m not a rockstar—i’m not in a band, you’re not going to be in my video. the only thing you could get from fucking me is getting to fuck me, and if so, lucky you,” said Landis. “i guarantee that’s not what any of these chicks who just throw it at me really want. granted they’ll have a wonderful time, but it’s weird. being a single guy in LA is fun as fuck and i love it. the fact that everyone here is so good-looking is intense and good and rewarding. something about everyone around you being a little bit better looking, it puts you in a good mood. i don’t feel bad or superficial for saying that. i’m also attracted to ambition and there’s a lot of that out here. but yea being a single guy in LA is great. sorry it took me so long to answer that question.”
Later on in the interview, Landis expounded on an ex he says he “gave a crippling social anxiety, self-loathing, body dismorphia, eating disorder to.”
“i mean you can’t really give someone any of these things, but the seeds of these things were there inside of her. we were in such a sort of unfair, fucked up relationship—not the kind where there’s a lot of yelling and screaming—the actual relationship was very nice and loving, but i was so fickle about her body. i’m not shy, i would just blurt out shit all the time. she ended up completely changing how she dressed and how she looked for me. that chick will never talk to me again,” Landis said.
It should be noted that this wave of allegations against Landis are, at this point in time, just that. The Daily Beast has reached out to Landis’ representation and will update if they respond.
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