#i've spent hours rereading this but i just KNOW in my heart that there are a billion typos and those typos will haunt my soul
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Fanfiction Comments: Why Bother?
Genuine question: If ya’ll like a story, why not comment?
This question, born out of previous discussions and Discord chats, is one writers have been dealing with for a long time. Feedback/reblogs on art tends to be more common than on fics. Yet writers continue to beg for comments on stories. So what's stopping people?
Don't know what to say/an emoji/script feels too impersonal
Forgot to comment
Read everything and how do you pick out one part?
Rather give feedback personally
Feels like an expectation/I owe them
Send me a string of emojis? I love it. Send a single heart? I love it. Keyboard smash? I love it. Copy/paste a "thank you for writing"? I still love it. "I don't know what to comment or how to put my feelings into words." Then put that! That's a compliment! Can't think of anything to say, then "I don't know what to write but asgfdhgf I liked it." is fine!
Seriously, I don't care WHAT you put, because it shows me you cared enough to take a few second to show that love. I recognize and look for my regular commenters, even the ones who leave just a heart or "extra kudos".
Forgot to comment? Leave the fic open on your phone or get in the habit of dropping SOMETHING right as you finish. If you had time to make it through the last 100 words, you can probably tap an emoji. It's likely more of a habit to build up than anything.
Read it in one go and it's all a blur? "I read this all in one go and it's a blur, but I loved it!" We don't need specifics; just tell us you loved it on the chapter you stopped on. That in itself is a compliment because Hey! You loved it so much you had to keep reading!
Personal feedback? Well, I'll never say no to friends gushing about stories to me! And it might not be the same for everyone, but if you stop commenting on AO3 and only tell me personally...my assumption is you don't like it enough to say it publicly. I've spent many a time wondering why people stopped giving that support and what I should do better. If it's a friend, try asking them which they prefer! We can go back and reread (and do!) AO3 comments. Much harder on discord/dms/etc.
Owing authors? Look, we put a lot of time and work into writing and providing content for free. Hours of idea planning, actual writing, editing, catering to requests, etc. My partner once said I have a second job, writing, but I don't get paid. If you read and enjoyed something that someone put a lot of work into, it's nice to take a few seconds and tell them that.
You don't owe authors comments. They also don't owe you free writing. Sometimes, you forget there is an author at all when you're reading. But there is. A real person put out a story hoping you'd love it, or connect to it. You'd see yourself in the writing and feel less alone, or cheered up when you have a bad day.
Writing is art, and all we want to do is connect with you. Comments help bridge that gap.
#fanfiction comments#fanfic commenting#fanfic writing#ao3#ao3 writer#fanfic#fanfiction#writer appreciation#ao3 comments#ao3 community#writing#Ika is opening a writer support cheerleading team. The requirement is: cheerleading for the writers
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whispering to each other + searching for the other’s hand in bed like theyre both tired but cant fall asleep (matt or chris x y/n or smt)
❝𝐢’𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰❞
pairing: matt x reader (no defined relationship but mutual pining?)
warnings: brief mention of anxious thoughts, loneliness, depression, vague mention of suicidal wishes
a/n special thanks to @dwntwn-strnlo for editing this you’re the best and shoutout to whoever it was to color code dialogue i took that idea anyways enjoy 🍿
having my 3 best friends away on tour was hard enough but having a rough few weeks physically and mentally on top of that was really hard on me. since i've moved here i haven't really made any friends. parties, events, and crowded loud places aren't my thing which makes it hard to meet people. sure i've met people the odd time the boys dragged me out but i was never able to hold a conversation let alone willingly go up to people. which brings me to now.
the triplets asked if i wanted to come on tour with them but i was in the middle of the semester, the busiest time. so i've spent the past few weeks alone, only leaving when i had to work. it sucks having no one to be able to go do things with, to talk to, and to just be there.
mindlessly clicking through the stories of people i follow, just trying to distract myself from my own thoughts, my screen reveals the faces of the only people i wish i were with right now. my heart aches watching them have the time of their lives being able to explore places they always dreamed of and getting to show their personalities on stage. don't get me wrong i'm beyond happy for them and how successful they’ve become the last few years, but i just wish i were with them. quickly hearting matt’s story of him posing in front of the bean in chicago, i drop my phone beside me and get under my covers, curling up. he seemed so happy being on tour.
i lie there, thoughts wandering, and tears gently flowing as i realize how truly alone i am. my thoughts are disrupted when i feel my bed softly vibrate. lazily rolling over, i grab my phone only to be met with a text from the person i yearned for the most. matt.
heyyy look who’s alive!
where’ve ya been it’s been a while since any of us heard from you?
you doing okay?
unfortunately i've been busy, midterm term time sorry edited
i’m fine
looks like tour’s fun, you look happy
unfortunately? please take time for yourself too you can only do so much if you’re not at your best
you’ll do great on them don’t overwork yourself love
it’s a blast seeing new places, meeting new people, i just wish you were here
shoot i forgot you can see what the other person edited
i was kidding. i’ll try
i wish i was there i miss you but it makes me happy seeing you be successful
we’ll be home before you know it i miss you too
and with that i turn my phone off for the night and bury myself under my covers in a desperate attempt to shut my brain off from thinking things it shouldn't. as the hours passed i tossed more and more not able to fall asleep, stay asleep and get comfortable. peeking at my clock to see the glowing 6:44am, i roll over shoving my face into my pillow and let out an unnecessarily loud groan. seeing no point staying in bed just to not be able to sleep i pad my way to the living room, claiming it my spot for the day. i put on a random season of the office to fill the silence and loneliness that i've sadly become used to. having seen the office far too many times, it's become a comfort background show, making it easy for me to fall asleep.
i accidentally ordered a package to your house from the last time you used my amazon prime to order something. it says it’s been delivered could you just put it aside for me? have a good day
staring at my phone i reread matt's text a few times, my mind still fuzzy and confused thanks to my lack of sleep. finally understanding it after the 5th time, i wrap my blanket around my body and trudge over to the door to pick it up. opening the door and checking the ground for a package i'm met with beat up air forces instead. startled, my head whips just to confirm it's who i thought it was.
matt.
all the loneliness, emptiness, sadness, yearning to see you hit me at once, a wave of tears overcame me as i engulf you in a hug nearly sending you and i to the floor. no words have been spoken, there's no need to. i immediately bury my head into your chest, your one hand coming to cradle my head as the other holds me securely to your body. we stay like this for a few minutes before you slightly pull away grabbing my hands and placing them around your neck, sneaking a quick peck to my cheek as you do so. your hands snake around my waist and gently lift me, bringing both of us into my house. closing the front door we make our way to the living room sitting on the couch turning to face each other.
god i missed you. today was our last day of tour but we were gonna stay there and explore the city for a few days but i couldn’t wait any longer i needed to see you. i was worried about you and couldn't bare the thought of being away for another second.
i missed you more. things haven’t been right since you guys left
like what?
it feels stupid to say out loud but ive felt so alone. like i have no one other than you guys and that makes me feel so pathetic that i rely on you guys so much. i haven't been able to sleep that much my mind just won't shut up i kept thinking about you guys and worrying about something bad happening to you it's stupid i know. heavily sighing i roughly wipe my face drying the tears that i tried so desperately to not let fall.
hey what did we talk about? every thought and feeling is valid they’re not stupid don’t say that.
you stand and offer me your hand and lead me to my room where we crawl into bed. you pull me as close to you as you possibly can. my head on your chest with my arm loosely draped across your body, your cotton shirt carelessly balled up in my hand. your arms wrapped around my torso like your life depended on it. god i missed this
i’m here now okay? everything’s okay, i’m okay, my brothers are okay, nothing happened to us. we’re not going anywhere for a while and when we do your coming with us. and don’t try and say you won’t be able to because of school, you’re coming no matter what. i can’t go that long without you, nothings the same
i won’t put up a fight i don’t want to do this again this was horrible being alone for so long. i missed being in your arms, feeling like nothing bad will ever happen because i have you here
as you place a gentle kiss to the top of my head a comfortable silence falls over us and we bask in this moment of being in each others arms again. my eyes grow heavy but my body is still fighting sleep like it has for the past few weeks
you can sleep now i’m here i’m not going anywhere i promise. i love you so much sweet girl
with the hushed tone of your voice and gentle pecks on my forehead, i feel my body grow heavier with sleep. i blindly reach my hand around searching for yours which you seem to pick up on what i wanted, placing your hand on mine and give it a squeeze once and a while letting me know you're right there.
goodnight sweet girl. i’m right here
taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @lollibumblebee @ssturniolo @20nugs
(i can’t remember who it was but i saw someone color coded the dialogue and that makes it so much easier to read so shoutout to you if it was you)
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WALK YOU HOME UPDATE
Hello everyone, I just wanted to come on here a give an update on Walk You Home. I would like to announce that I will be finishing Walk You Home! I know that it's been years since I've lasted updated it and I don't know if there's still anyone on here that will even read it, but I've never stopped thinking about it, and I've always wanted to finish Jaemin's story. I just spent the past couple of hours rereading what I've posted so far and the drafts that I have and I think that I'm pretty close to being finished with the writing.
If I'm being honest, I don't keep up with kpop much anymore, but nct dream will always have a special place in my heart. And at the end of the day, I've always loved writing and storytelling and interacting with everyone on here and hearing everyone's thoughts. I still have many ideas of future fics so hopefully I can get to those soon as well.
Overall, I would like to thank everyone for being so patient with me and if anyone is still out there, I hope you enjoy the end to Jaemin and yn's story 💗
#walk you home#updates#I've always wanted to write a mark parallel universe fic so maybe that will be next#I have a midterm tomorrow but I think I'll start posting after that
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I'd absolutely love some sterek fic recs because I'm trying to broaden the ships I read. I've watched the first 3 seasons of teen wolf but haven't read any fics and don't know where to start. I'm fairly open to reading any content, although I'm not the biggest fan of like the common school/coffee shop etc AUs.
Also I love how you're gotten into blogging hockey recently. Have you read any hockey rpf since getting into nhl? Personally sidgeno and mattdrai have my heart, but like I said I'm looking for new ships to read like sterek.
WOOOO LET'S GOOOO!!
As always, read the tags etc etc. Probably a lot of these will be author recs. I will say Sterek has the potential for an age gap concern but I don't read fic where that's written as a predatory thing, FWIW, but I do read some where Stiles is 17 but where I feel like it's handled at least somewhat gracefully
Gravity's Got Nothing on You by @zosofi is great - I really like all their stuff actually!
@kalpurna's Fascination and @drunktuesdays' bigger, longer and uncut are both *gems* - so funny.
We've Written Volumes (in Blood and Scars and Ink) by @notthequiettype is absolutely brilliant, one of my fav fics of all time, way up on my reread regularly list. They only have one other Sterek but I love that one too (and they write hockey rpf but I haven't really dived in there yet!).
The Moon's Gonna Follow Me Home by @turningterrific is stunning. They're SUCH a good writer, although sadly this is their only Sterek (but they have written some amazing hockey RPF as well!).
Every stumble and each misfire by @everchanginginks is fucking phenomenal. True story, I read this fic and then didn't keep track of it but it stayed in my brain, and I spent literally HOURS combing my AO3 history to find it, and when I did, I promptly downloaded it and created the "Best Ever" collection on my Kindle specifically for this fic.
Everything by @suburbanmotel. They are an incredible writer and even more incredible person and I'm so lucky to call them a friend!
I really love @lunacanislupus-22-blog writing but particular favorites are: Feel it like a fever, burning through the night , Spirit grows when love goes away and I know that you love me, even when I lose my head (and I'm not normally one for amnesia fics because they make me SO ANXIOUS but this one is SO good).
Cornerstone by Vendelin is really good too (mind the tags on this one).
By Any Other Name by @entanglednow is fucking phenomenal (and again with the amnesia fics?!?!) and so so well-written. Check out all their stuff!
I really love @devildoll's writing very much a lot! Particular favorites include: Come with Me and Walk the Longest Mile (and I don't usually gravitate to post-apocalyptic fic even though I love the genre in fiction but this one is fucking brilliant); Stand Fast in Your Enchantments (painful and so good); My Heart Comes Tumbling Down (OH MY HEART) and Love, Like a Sentence of Death.
There's Monsters at Home by @wellhalesbells | calrissian18 is a classic and really good! They've written a ton of really great fics (the Hilary Duff lyrics one is a another personal favorite!)
Not Quite Lost (Not Quite Found) by @alocalband is gorgeous. Just. beautifully written.
stuck in reverse by @crazyassmurdererwall is also really good! Definitely check the tags on this one, as it is Stiles still in HS.
Start Small, Like Oak Trees by smallbirds is really lovely. Everything of theirs that I've read, I've really liked.
Okay, just a couple more I promise!!
The Difficult Kind (series) by whiskey_in_tea is an old one but really really wonderful.
The First Date series by @halffizzbin - the whole thing is delightful but I absolutely adore the final installment!
I will note that many of these authors also have Hockey RPF fic, JUST SAYING (I really am fascinated as to what that pipeline is??). I've read a ton of hockey RPF as well (sidgeno for sure) and I'll check out mattdrai now!!
Anyway, hope this helps as a place to start!!
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Lost you
Genre: Romantic–Thriller
Pairing: Marvel Loki x Reader
Overview: Just after Ragnarok happened, Loki along with his wife Y/n, who is pregnant for a while, is on his way to Midgard. What he doesn't know is the plan of Thanos in action against his to derive the tesseract.
Loki sits across the table on his cozy couch in his temporary room in the ship, rereading through the Hamlet, his gaze follows the distinct dark words the vintage papers of the book holds but his mind however isn't attentive of the fiction, rather it runs through the disturbing possibilities of the near future.
It was not more than a mere hour when he saw his sister Hela and Ragnarok burn his realm Asgard into ashes, he saw the place which holds thousands years of his memories, turned into ruins. Asgard was a place he never thought himself to be emotionally attached, regardless it was the not so un- unique place where he spent most part of his life into.
He, as an infant was brought up by Odin to Asgard, to his mother, Frigga. Asgard was the place where he learnt taking his first steps, it was the place within the walls of which the sounds of his first words echoed, it was the place which holds the memories of his first fight with Thor, which he lost badly, it was the place within where Loki learnt about his true heritage, within where he was broken, betrayed, lost, within where he collected himself, within where did he gathered the courage to win up against the injustices of the realm,
except the mother realm of his is no more.
He, after knowing his true heritage of Jötunheim, never considered himself an Asgardian, but now he can't help wondering how much he was attached with his realm Asgard.
The fight had an extravagant impact on everyone, it hurted that many lost their lives but more disturbing fact is that many lost their knowns, and many lost their everything.
The only and most important thing that mattered was the soundness of his wife Y/N. He was terribly terrified of her safety during the war, she was undoubtedly an incredible warrior but at present atleast, he couldn't take any risks, not when she's five months pregnant.
"Darling," he said relaxing his back to the couch, his deep honeydew voice rumbling through his chest like a melody as he felt an soft, firm hand squeezing his shoulder. He couldn't tell how comforting this small action of his wife Y/N was. "You're fine" she said through her quiet, soft, assuring voice while giving out a weak and tired smile. He smiled at his wife's understanding, she knew perfectly when he was feeling low and when he doesn't want to talk about it.
He stood up to her and guided her to the bed of their room, seating her back against the headboard and taking her feet in his lap while sitting in front of her in the suprisingly luxurious bed on the ship. He kept a soft hand upon her swollen belly and began stroking it lightly, a smile plastered on his lips.
"I wonder how well have I acquired the good deeds to have you as my wife, darling." He said softly to her, she smiled "I've to ask this very question to myself several times a day for you, my king" her stomach then grumbled slightly, enough for the young king to notice.
It was then it hit his mind, wide eyed he said "You, my darling, in the chaos of the war, haven't eaten anything in– in two days!" She chuckled slightly, feeling tired. She pulled Loki towards her with his hands (assertively not putting the slightest efforts in the process) and gestured him to sit beside her, he still objected, panicked from inside for this pregnant belly haven't had meals for two days. "Darling, pardon me, give a minute, I'll find something." Frantically, he said. Y/n couldn't help admiring the cuteness of her husband, before he could make a move, she held his hand firmly. "That may wait a while–" she spoke calmly, her calm demeanor always turned to calm Loki with the base of his heart, her voice makes him let go all of his problems, she makes him feel to let go of everything and just to live the moment, with her. "I want to rest, if I have your consent" she joked weakly, exhaustion dripping from every word she used. Loki, instinctively guided her to lay comfortably and covered them both while conjuring a warm fuzzy blanket.
Loki didn't remember himself relaxing his head on the headboard and absentmindedly stroking y/n's hair slowly while she rests her head on his broad leather covered chest, while she's on the brink of falling asleep, or perhaps in a deep slumber already. He smiled mildly at himself, taking in the sensation of being– saturated–with everything.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
After a few hours, when he woke up, first thing his subconscious did was to take in the unfamiliar surroundings, it took him a while to remember he was inside a ship in space on his way to Midgard. Then, his gaze rested on the calm sleeping figure of Y/n curled in a ball, clutching her swollen belly and Loki's hands enveloping her securely.
Getting off the bed was quite an task if you didn't wanted your loved one who hasn't got real sleep in days to wake up from deep slumber. To be honest , Loki didn't wanted to get off the bed but, the circumstances weren't those to resemble rest, it was just not the time for it. He covered Y/n properly with blankets and instantly conjured the bag he had prepared with Y/n and settled out some packages of edible arrangements on the table, wincing at the remembrance of his wife not having meals for days and that too during her PREGNANCY.
"How's lady Y/n, brother?" Thor asked concerned. "She's resting" Loki answered
"Understandable, she's suprisingly very strong." Thor complimented, remembering her intellects while they were in the war.
"That she inconsiderably is." Loki spoke proud of her for the billionth time.
"I'd dare say, broth–" Thor stopped mid sentence, as if something has got his tongue. Loki looked up from whatever he was doing to meet the direction of his brother's eyes. Through the glass above the control panel, a space jet seemed to advance just against their space ship, protruding more and more with evey second passing.
Loki probably did knew what it was, and he wasn't proud of it.
He was here
To take the tesseract
To initiate a war
He was here,
Thanos.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Heya, it's my first Loki x Reader fanfiction. Do let me know of you like it. Shall I create a second part?
P.S. If you're wanting to talk to someone, I'm always here to hear.
Second part's out:
#loki odinson#loki laufeyson#loki series#loki#loki fanfic#loki x reader#loki season 2#marvel#loki fluff#loki fandom#loki friggason#loki layfeson#loki laufesyon x reader#loki layfeyson imagine#loki love#avengers#the avengers#thor odinson#thor#classic literature#my writing#writeblr#writing#writers on tumblr#book community#fanfic
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Hi. I've just finished reading Shutter Speed. I've been trying to come up with the words to tell you how grateful I am to you for writing this. The fic has been on my list for several weeks now but I've been putting it off for one reason or the other. And I'm sure life has given it to me at the right time because I've been going through some pretty horrible stuff these past few weeks and reading your fic has given me some really needed relief. It made me smile so much and I could actually feel the warmth in my chest when I read certain paragraphs. It's just so beautiful and I feel like I'm not expressing how thankful I am for every second of effort you put into writing this gorgeous work.... THANK YOU. I am in tears as I type this. Your work let me escape the real world and the emotional stress I am under for a few hours. I spent so much time looking through the work of all the photographers you've mentioned in the fics. I had such a wonderful time. Your writing is truly incredible. Seb's insecurity and Mark's undisguised longing when he looks at him 😭🖤 And Lewis and Val's gentle and easy love in the background. Britta being the queen that she is. And that tender sex scene in the end???? Just.... God I have no words.
'The Nikon 70-200mm lens seems absurdly heavy in his hands. It feels like a responsibility.'
'Sebastian wants to shake Mark awake and go, Look, look at that. See that gold? See how it matches your hair?'
“I didn’t feel unsafe. Not for a second.”
“He’s excellent in front of the camera,” Sebastian says hastily, when what he means is, The light strikes him as if he were a diamond, and the shadows adhere to his face like a lover.
“It’s the way you look at my camera.”
“I’m not looking at your camera,” Mark says this like a fact. “I’m looking at you.”
“I can’t see anything else,” Sebastian gasps, and it’s the truth. He closes his eyes and Mark’s there. He gazes off in the distance where the sun sets and Mark’s there. “All I see is you.”
All these lines permanently altered my brain chemistry.
I am so sorry. I really wish I could put into words how much your fic means to me right now. I'll just settle for 'Thank you' at the moment. I just feel like your fic has picked me up and given me a huge, warm hug. I look forward to reading more of your work. I hope you have an amazing holiday season.
dear dear anon. i've read and reread this lovely comment so many times and am very much at a loss for words. honestly means the world that you took the time to share your thoughts with me. i'm so over the moon the fic could be a source of encouragement in a tough time; writing brings me a lot of joy in part because i get to share it with people, and this is the greatest thing i could have hoped for with a fic! the most wonderful thing. thank you for letting me know i appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!
also i'm so so happy you looked up the photographers mentioned, if you have any thoughts on them you'd like to share i'd love to hear it! here's a lil tidbit i wanna share with you, when i mentioned iconic photographs of lips this was one of them by daido moriyama of course!
i am wrapping you in a blanket and sharing a cup of hot choco with you i am giving you the biggest, hugest warm hug i possibly can, i hope you're doing better, wherever you are, and i'm wishing you the very very best. mwah mwah mwah
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The Persona 5 Post-Mortem, Part One: What I Didn't Like 8C
I have reread my entire P5 liveblog to refresh my memory of everything that happened in the game, and I've been trying to think about how I feel about P5R and, frankly, whether I like the game. Which is a very basic question, I think, but one I am deeply struggling with, so obviously it's not actually that simple, huh.
The answer I am tentatively settling on is: I think the third semester saves P5R from being an Actually Bad game.
I think that Persona 5 Vanilla is actually… a 5 out of 10 at best, and in my heart it's lower than that. But Royal does so much intense heavy lifting, it alone, separate from the rest of the game and the original campaign, is an 8 out of 10.
That is an enormous discrepancy that I've really never dealt with in a video game before. I think the last game I played that I truly disliked to my bones was Fallout 4. FO4 remains the only game I've ever played were I genuinely and truly wanted a refund of not just my money but my time, the hours I spent in that meaningless, vapid fucking world. Even FO3 gave me some joy of exploration, for fuck's sake.
P5R is not as bad as FO4, but the main campaign is to me an enormous disappointment that…. if I had not been in the throes of a depressive slump and thus needing something to hyperfocus on, I don't know if I would have finished the game. My frequent references to Yusuke saving me from turning off the game were not exaggeration in the least.
So, I think there are two major problems with this game. And I understand that when I did my post-mortem on P4G, I started with my likes and then went to dislikes, but I think for P5R it's correct to reverse that, because my negative feelings far outweigh the positive.
I guess point one is obvious: I think the cast of this game is bad.
I refuse to sugar-coat it. The cast of P5 is just bad, with a few mild exceptions. Even the characters that I like, I enjoy them comparatively to the ones I hate. And I have never hated someone in a Persona game before, not even Joker Mode Yosuke.
The entire cast of this game is much, much flatter than you would expect from a game that is trying so desperately to be stylish and loud and garish. P5R is maximalist to its fucking core. The fusions are executions, item creation is an electric chair, the menus are nightmares of high contrast and bouncing shapes, everything is LOUD LOUD LOUD 24/7 in this game to the point that I, a person I think is fairly skilled at video games and played P4G on Normal and breezed through it, had to lower the difficulty of the game to fucking have fun, because I felt so inundated with stimulus, I was struggling to play the fucking game.
That maximalist spirit just vanishes in the characters, and it's so fucking jarring. All style, no substance.
When I was trying to figure out my thoughts on the characters, the thing I kept coming back to was that P5 has too many main characters in the party. And weirdly, I think I'm right! P3 has seven party members (excluding beloved Koromaru, eight if you count Shinjiro who is in the party for a month). P4 only has seven.
Persona 5 Royal has nine, and I think part of the problem is that to fit all of these characters into the party and the story and to keep the MSQ scene moving at a decent pace, everyone suffers for it and gets flattened. Even the vibrancy of Yusuke vanishes from the game in the final third, where all his interesting tics and quirks are phased out until he's just a guy here to say his lines to move things along. Almost everyone suffers from this, where they are focal points during their introduction arc, and then they just lose all their shine as the story moves on.
This didn't happen in P3 and P4. That's not rose-tinted glasses talking; I JUST played both of those games starting in December. P3 is my true love but P4 is a tremendous example of how the characters continued to be themselves in every scene, even after their introductory chapters ended.
So the poison at the heart of P5R is that the characters are both not as three-dimensional to start with (and there are only a few I would even consider three-dimensional), and from the moment their respective Palaces end, they're on a half life.
This literally might be why I like Haru best, because she's introduced so late in the game that she didn't lose her voice yet by the endgame.
This is all of course at odds with the fact that only a few characters are really good. Futaba probably deserves the most accolades for being clear and present in every scene and always maintaining her uniqueness. Morgana as well, seeing as his arc lasts the entire game and is one of the central mysteries. And Akechi, without whom I think the entire game might have actually failed? Without the complexity and unnerving energy from Akechi, this cast could not sustain the runtime of the game.
AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT, it does not help that I actively disliked two of my party members. Makoto has by far the worse introduction of any character in any game I have played and the way the game just did not understand or contend with what she did, the stalking and blackmail and endangering everyone, soured her so completely for me that she never once got party time. I never used her.
But even she was a relief next to fucking Ryuji. Ryuji, the token best friend character who turned into The Teammate Everyone Hates for me. He was a mean, emotionally dense, disrespectful and dehumanizing asshole for the entire fucking game. And I am used to the Best Friend Guy who messes up and grows over the course of the game (see: Junpei and Yosuke) but with Ryuji there is no growth, there is barely acknowledgement of how cruel he is. And the fact he never actually apologized to Morgana for his bullshit in the middle of the game lost me completely on him. Ryuji made me as the player on the other side of the screen uncomfortable. That's…. wild, tbh.
So we have a cast where I can barely stand two characters, I'm ambivalent on three, one I regularly forgot she existed, and three I liked a lot.
That's a fucking mess, y'all. For a Persona game, which is a premium Hangout Game, where so much of the point is the characters? That's a huge problem.
The other games in this franchise like Shin Megami Tensei tend to have characters that are flatter and more allegorical in nature, but that's okay because the focus is on the themes and the writing of the world.
Which leads directly to the other problem with Persona 5.
The writing. On several metrics, the writing is Bad.
On the first point, the fact that this game has an 80 hour runtime if you are lucky, and that's just the vanilla MSQ. It feels like an 80 hour runtime. I felt every goddamn minute of how long this game is.
Structure is the problem here, in my opinion, and it goes hand in hand with the character issue. Just as this game has too many characters, it has too many set-pieces and arcs. To justify Makoto's presence in the game, there is a long, superfluous arc with Kaneshiro that should have just been cut entirely. Kaneshiro is about 10 hours that could just be snipped out of the game with nothing lost thematically or narratively.
And even more that P4 and DEFINITELY more than P3, the game will essentially…. repeat scenes.
As someone who did this entire liveblog with screencaps, I cannot tell you how many times I thought I missed capping a specific line or moment only to find out that it was in a nearly-identical scene a little bit earlier. Sometimes there were three different scenes that conveyed no new information, just restated what the characters knew, and that's just ridiculous. That's truly just too much.
On top of that, this game just gives the player way too much time. I didn't fill out every SLink in this game, but that's because I actively chose not to out of disinterest in a few of them. If I wanted to, I think I could have done every one without a guide. I spun my wheels for OVER TWENTY IN-GAME DAYS MULTIPLE TIMES. The pacing is a nightmare.
Another point I mentioned a lot was the technical quality of the writing.
This game is so over-produced, so maximalist, has so many small details, but the actual script as written for the game feels like it was done under crunch. Like, extreme crunch. Original FF7-style crunch.
It's hard to explain what this means, but in P4G, the script was lovingly crafted word by word and everything was incredibly naturalistic and conversational. There was never a moment when I had to refer to the log and reread anything, no point where a conversation lost me.
In P5R, this happened regularly. Awkward phrasings, responses that didn't make sense, repetitive sentence structure, and weird conversational pivots that did actually force me to go back and reread to understand what was being said.
Localizing a game of this scope and budget is a herculean task, and I know the game's English release was delayed. It just was not enough time. I would guess that this game needed at least another month or two to cook, but more than anything, the localization process should have been started a year before it was. The localization needed to be happening concurrently with the final year of development for a text this fucking dense.
It is so weird to see the extreme polish of the presentation of this game and then to just read the text aloud and go "wait, what" numerous times in a single playthrough.
(also this barely feels like its worth mentioning with the other issues but the lack of translation of the textures was unacceptably bad. I had to get a JPN-speaking friend to translate some things for me, and I really genuinely feel like missing out on some of this shit diminished the context of the game. Maruki's place is the most egregious offender but its everywhere.)
And finally, the last writing complaint is that until the Third Semester, this game has nothing to say. The Persona 5 Vanilla version of this game is……. meaningless but masquerading as thoughtful and rebellious.
Which is frankly hugely disappointing because this game does start strong with Joker and the repeated motif of imprisonment and betrayal. In just the first hour, Joker is beat up in an interrogation room, he's falsely accused of assault, his probation officer tells him he deserved it for stepping out of line, and every figure of authority from the principal to the teachers to his fellow students treat him like a murderer. It was a potent start to a game.
And in the end, Yaldaboath is just repeating the same fucking shit that Izanami did in P4G. People? More like SHEEPLE, amiright? People care more about being entertained than the TRUTH, and they want to be shadows/imprisoned.
Blah blah fucking blah. Persona needs to come up with something new to say because this was NOT it, chief, and was just disappointing given the strong start with Joker. I think this game's Big Theme can confidently be boiled down to "phones are like prisons," and its infuriating.
So much superfluous text and so little to say.
Until the Third Semester, anyway.
Next post will be about the things I liked, I promise.
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below the cut is a hint of the meg/christine fanfic i've been working on for a million years. none of it is edited or revised at all, so it's pretty rough! it's a fake dating college AU, i hope y'all like it ;)
In the morning, Christine woke up with a headache. Meg felt fine, but she listened to Christine complain and offered to bring her something back from the dining hall for breakfast. When she returned, a styrofoam container of scrambled eggs, greasy sausage links, and slightly undercooked pancakes cooling in her hand, Christine had showered and was tending to her curls.
Sitting in the window with her hair tossed over her shoulder and a placid look on her face, Meg thought Christine looked like a painting. When Christine looked up and smiled at Meg and her gift of crappy dining hall food, Meg felt then, with a sharp feeling in her heart, that she looked more like a dream. Oh, Christine…
.
.
They spent the day in their dorm working on homework. Meg charted out the blocking for a new dance piece she was choreographing for a class, imagining what the moves would look like in a big open space. She could even almost hear the sound of the imaginary dancer’s feet hitting the ground after every leap and spin.
Christine used to be a dancer, too. Before she found something better in singing, that is. She had been a gorgeous ballerina, her body forming graceful flowing lines that looked effortless. Meg sometimes missed ballerina Christine, just because they were like twin flames, rising to meet each other and giving off the same light. But the Christine Meg knew now was even brighter as a singer, and they played off each other in a way Meg couldn’t have understood if Christine had remained a dancer.
Still, sometimes it felt like Meg was choreographing with Christine in mind, imagining the way her body would form each move, the lines and the curves. It was how Meg felt now, seeing Christine pirouetting daintily across the darkened stage of her mind, plotting each step the moment before her satin-shoed toes landed them.
“Meg.”
Like breaking the surface of water, Meg came back to reality. “Huh?”
“I asked if you would read this paragraph and tell me if it makes sense.” Christine held her laptop over her head to hand it to Meg from the floor.
Meg took it. “I don’t know why you’re asking me,” she said. “You know I’m terrible at writing.”
“Yeah, but you’re not terrible at reading.”
As Meg read her work, Christine grabbed Meg’s sheet to look over her choreography.
Christine hummed. “I like this. The series of steps right here,” she pointed to a set halfway through, “is going to be gorgeous.”
“It’s not done yet,” Meg said, snatching the papers out of her hands and hoping she wasn’t blushing.
She turned around on the floor to face Meg. “I can’t wait to see you dance it. It’ll be beautiful.”
Now Meg knew she was blushing. It felt so hot all of a sudden. She grumbled out a thanks and pushed Christine’s laptop back to her. “It sounds fine. Are you going to clarify the part about the leitmotif in the next paragraph, though? There wasn’t anything about it in the paragraph before, so it kind of felt like it came out of nowhere.”
Christine reread her work. “You’re right. I’ll add a little intro in the paragraph before, but I’m going to keep talking about it in the next part.”
“As long as you do that, it’s perfect,” Meg responded, shuffling back into her working position.
Christine, however, snapped her laptop shut. “I’m done for today.”
“We’ve only been working for like an hour,” Meg said, shooting her a quizzical look.
“And it’s been the longest hour of my life.” Christine rolled to her knees and stood, stretching. “Wanna go for a walk?”
Meg looked at her half-finished homework. Well… this choreo wasn’t technically due until Wednesday. So she had time.
#god i hope i finish this fic someday#it's going to be long so i don't want to post it until it's either done or almost done#i first started writing it in 2021 though so it might still be a long time#crying emoji#the phantom of the opera#megstine#meg giry#christine daae#meg/christine#POTO
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I've Been Revisiting Stargate Atlantis…
Because my broken foot is still healing, so I'm trying to rest at home as much as I can, and SkyReplay airs it pretty regularly.
It's also because I love revisiting my favorite fandoms. Especially the fandoms I was in as a teenager. Hours upon hours spent reading these incredible fics written by people whose talent just made them feel heroic to me as a younger writer. When I rewatch these episodes, I remember my life as it was then. Fandom as it was then.
When I first watched Stargate Atlantis, I was in my third year of high school. I still posted my fics to FFN. I hadn't even heard of LiveJournal yet. I took a laptop and a book everywhere. I hadn't realized my queerness. I had few friends. And I was years away from leaving the States to live in another country where I'd finally stop trying to find the perfect way to change myself to impress my family. I'd find out that living like that would have chipped away at my heart and, ultimately, slowly erase the person I am now.
I was a lurker in most fandoms since the age of nine. I wrote fic and posted it sometimes, but I didn't engage in many forums. I rarely talked to anyone online at all, and I didn't really make fandom friends, either. Whenever I found a fandom with a huge amount of fics, I didn't bother writing anything myself. I just read as much as I could, the longer the fic, the better.
I knew fandom as a mainly adult space, and I was excited to be part of it. These fan-written stories felt more familiar to me than the media they were based on, especially with queer romance instead of heterosexual. And while there were famous episodes of Drama and Fandom Wank, fandom was, in general, my safe space.
Online fandom insulated me from all the school and family strife that I couldn't avoid offline while Being a Teenager. Fandom was a treehouse I could climb into. Pull the ladder up behind me, sprawl on some pillows, feel the cool breeze and the sun pouring in through the windows. Safe and alone with my imagination and the stories shared in a little-known community where no one who felt unsafe could find me.
And the fandom of Stargate Atlantis was an extra special escape. The fic was phenomenal, and the meta was incredible, and the show was ridiculous sometimes but fun and full of potential to explore in fic.
I just rewatched "Trinity" and reread Time in a Bottle by @astolat today, and all those feelings are still where I left them, only now I'm older and more experienced. And I'm so much happier than I was then. It's like revisiting the treehouse and finding everything right where I left it, untouched by time or weather or discovery.
Fandom has changed. Even back then, fandom wasn't a treehouse for everyone. But when I think about what it was for me, when I look back on how much it saved me and made my life worth living and celebrating in the darkest moments, I think, That's what I know to pass on now. I can't give my experience to anyone else, but I can make treehouses. I can create communities where people feel safe in their joy.
That is, in a way, what AO3 is. The big treehouse. Where our stories are safe.
And I think that's what we're here for, in the big What Are We Here For? sense.
To soak in the sun together when we can, then build cover from the rain. Protecting our peace and each other's so we can use our breathtakingly short time to share stories by a fire.
There's a moment in Astolat's fic that made me cry when I was in high school. It won't have the same impact without the rest of the fic, so please read it first, but it's this:
[John] had one wild moment just standing there, and then he flung himself on the bed, scrabbling at Rodney's shoulders, hauling him up against his body to hold him tight tight tight, and Rodney shuddered awake and grabbed him back. John said, "Rodney, Jesus God, don't—don't—" and Rodney gasped, "John, John, John," and clung to him.
Rereading it today, it still made me emotional. The fic is just as beautiful as I remembered it. It's just as important to me as it was then.
And I genuinely believe it's fics like that that have had the greatest influence on my writing. That soul-deep emotion. A character thinking they've lost their person only to get them back. That excerpt is only two sentences, and I've remembered them for years. I must have read this fic when I was in my last year of high school, and I must have read it on my laptop in my bedroom, sitting on my bed with the pillows against my back. Back before I read that you should keep your bed for sleeping only. I read so many fics on my computer in bed. I don't remember where I was exactly, if it was there or elsewhere, but I do remember crying.
And I never forgot that scene. It left a comforting stitch in my mind with a precious memory underneath.
And how beautiful are we when we do this? That we found a way to tell untold numbers of people these sincere, heartfelt stories that not only stay with us for years afterward but also thread themselves into the core of who we are and maybe even change how we see the world and what we think life could be?
If we're alive for anything, I think it's to do that: to press our fingerprints together and leave a bit of golden light on someone who needs it.
#stargate atlantis#fic rec#and now i've made myself cry again#which is good because i'm writing a very emotional scene in my book today#anyway#thank you astolat <3#i appreciate you and your brain that made such beautiful things
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Hi!! I just wanted to say that I'm super excited to see your new posts! I have been lurking since 2020 when everything shut down, because that's when I first read about TTS, and I saw your art! I'm pretty sure you are the reason I actually started watching (and dragged my brother into it), and I spent HOURS reading through your posts. You (indirectly) introduced me to a lot of new music, art, and other media. (1/3)
----
I-
I don't even know how to articulate the feelings this message is giving me...
ASDFGHsghtyujcvgh-- My heart...
Anon, this is one of - if not - the sweetest message I've ever received and GOSH I wish I had a more befitting response to something so heartfelt and genuine, but-
Thank you SO much! ❤
This means a lot to me. Very often I don't see the impact of the things I draw/write/post and it's tempting to believe there isn't one, but you've reminded me that not seeing it doesn't necessarily mean it isn't there.
I'm psyched to hear that you've gotten into Rise, recently! I personally love it and I hope you get the same amount of enjoyment from it, it's a really good series! I'm hoping to have more to post about it soon - I've had a few AUs in the works that I'm excited to share, once I have some content to show for them.
So I hope you enjoy that, too!
God bless you (and your brother), Anon, and thank you again for this kind message. I'm gonna hold onto it to reread when I need a little hopeful reminder. :'>
#I'm so emotional after reading this asdfghjkl... Idk what to say other than it made my day thank you#asked and answered#anonymous#anon#casually tries to remember how I used to tag things it's been awhile uhhh...oH-#artistnotes#To come back to later
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I really hope you did not bail on continuing the dandelion Inn. That would break my heart a little. As long as I know you will continue/finish it eventually I can wait (very impatiently but still..).
Okay so typically I don't respond to things like this, but ignoring the last few I've gotten here and on twitter obviously hasn't worked, so here we go.
Yeah, don't do this.
You're trying to be funny, but this is a not-at-all-veiled "NEXT CHAPTER WHEN, WRITE MORE." And just...no.
You—and by "you" I mean the group of y'all that send comments like this to me and others, not this anon specifically because I don't know you—obviously mean for this to inspire me to write faster, but what this actually does is piss me off and make me work on something else. Why? Because it's not kind, it treats me like a production machine instead of a person, and it, frankly, makes you seem like an ungrateful asshole. Sorry! But true.
I find that people who write these comments typically—and I literally don't know who you are so idk in this situation—aren't the ones leaving long, detailed, enthusiastic comments on every chapter on every reread. Not the ones earnestly and consistently reblogging and retweeting and writing thoughtful commentary or even excited tags. You come off as an unengaged and ungrateful reader who will leave kudos but nothing else, and two days after I post will be saying "when is the next oneeeee" which is so frustrating.
I spend hours on these chapters. Literal hours of my life. If you want the next one so badly (and to be clear, I'm glad that you do), write me a long ass comment or ask about what you loved in the last chapter and what you're excited to see in the next. That motivates the shit out of me. That makes me happy and excited to write what's next.
This morning I woke up early with the intention of going into the office and working on Dandelion until my first meeting. But instead, I'm writing this. We all lose, basically. I am way less interested in writing it this morning than I was 30 minutes ago. And that sucks! I love writing, I love writing this fic, and I love being engaged with y'all. You just need to treat me like a person and understand that this "write faster, gimme" bs does not work. I don't know anyone this works for, so honestly, just stop it.
Next time you're desperate for another chapter of one of your favorite fics, try this: "Hey, I just reread [x fic] for the [6th] time because I'm obsessed!! My favorite part of this chapter is when [character] said [quote from fic]. I couldn't stop [laughing and my grandma thought I was dying]. Last night I couldn't sleep thinking about what will happen when [character] finds out [secret]. I'm not sure if she's going to [reaction A] or [reaction B] but mostly I just want them to KISS [IN THE RAIN]!!! I love you forever and ever, byeeeee"
And just in case this hasn't landed, here's another way to put it. If you are not in the following situation, I literally do not want to hear your thoughts on how quickly I write. If you're doing all of this, I welcome your feedback on my pace of fic output:
Drafting an original novel
Revising an original novel that is honestly your very best hope of being published and that is about to be sent to publishers
Watching as your second novel, Firefly, one of your loves, slowly dies in the hands of publishers, meaning that your agent, who you have worked with for over 2 years now, has still not made a single fucking penny off of you, and might drop you as a client
Celebrating your wife's birthday and generally spending time with her because you love her and value your relationship with her
Working on a long fic with a partner that you really care about and have a deadline for
Working a day job that is so intense and stressful you literally spent 5 hours the other weekend (on your writing day) ensuring that a student didn't do something to themself. Sorry I couldn't work on Dandelion that day, I need to make sure this person did not die.
Having a chronic, persistent, and ultimately probably terminal disease that makes you so exhausted sometimes you can't lift your head up after a work day
*insert gif I can't find of Lucy saying thanks for playing!*
Like I said, I hate doing this, I hate writing this, I hate responding to this, but ignoring hasn't worked, so here we are. Please don't make me say it again.
#ettiquette#fic comments#don't be a jerk#i am a person#let's never have to have this conversation again please
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Heyo Worm o/
6, 19, 29, if you please!
o/
6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?
I've only recently started bookmarking stuff so usually I would only reread stuff if I happened to come across it again while going through tags 😅 Some highlights from the fics I do have bookmarked:
Iconoclasm by CrimsonRavioli (Rav!) (My tag: "Very Good Wars Stuff". Happens to be the only one with that tag, because I forgot to use it again. But it's also very well deserved.)
Marigolds by theScrap_Witch (Sad, very good)
The Inner Warriors by FlamingIdiot (Rock shared this with me early on in the process or writing TFWS, after I told them Warriors was a dragon! It's very good!)
The rest got long so -
19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.
His only request was that he’d be allowed to walk — with support — from the cart to the bakery’s back door.
“In case anyone is watching.”
When the medics tried to reason with him, telling Link his pride wasn’t worth injuring himself further, Rowan stepped in. He knew the real reason why Link was insisting that. There were many watchful eyes in their neighborhood, and Rowan knew Link had overheard him telling Zelda on one of her visits about how concerned some of their neighbors must be.
Link wasn’t ashamed of his injuries — he just didn’t want anyone to worry about him.
Ah this one doesn't have much written for it yet, but have this little bit anyways!
29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
I think I mentioned this bit in a previous answer, actually! It was a trashed whumptober idea because I didn't have the time to do it justice. I think it was also going to be the Rowan whump fic you requested, but I turned that into request into Stay With Me instead.
Link cursed as he ran down the streets between burning destroyed buildings. He couldn’t believe that Castle Town had been attacked, and with such devastating force. For the past few hours, he’d been at the walls, trying to prevent the monsters from getting in that way. He knew that some had already made it in, knew that civilians had been ordered to evacuate to the castle earlier in the day when they’d realized the attack was inevitable.
But he hadn’t realized how bad it had been.
Links heart leapt into his throat as he rounded the corner into his neighborhood. The one he’d spent the last few years, the best years of his life. With his husband in the home above the bakery. With the elderly neighbors that had practically adopted them. The young ones that came in because they knew Rowan would sneak them treats or to catch a glimpse of the famous hero.
The perfect memory was ruined, because many of the homes were damaged, some smoking from monster’s fiery attacks. There were still soldiers milling about, some medics helping the injured. None he recognized, but he didn’t stop for pleasantries.
Now that the official word had gone out that the attackers were repelled, there were some civilians around as well. Many seemed shell shocked at seeing their homes so damaged, but there were signs of hope as well. Neighbors helping each other clear rubble, civilians helping medics take care of injured soldiers. He overheard snatches of conversation as people offered to share what they had with those who had lost more.
Link didn’t know where Rowan would have ended up, could only hope that he’d followed the evacuation orders. He hadn’t had time to go tell him in person, too caught up in directing the defensive measures on his side of Castle Town.
Apparently, the monsters had gotten in through the EAST gate before it was fully blockaded and made their way through the city, destroying everything in their path. By the time they made it this far, the army had rallied and fought back, but there was still collateral damage.
But when turned the last corner onto his home street, Link froze at the sight. Most of the buildings here had taken heavy damage, and at least half of the homes were on fire. Windows were blown out, walls destroyed, the road torn up. Whatever had happened here, it was bad. It was a small blessing that he didn’t see any of their neighbors
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your writing is so pure and beautiful and makes my heart break and repair itself every chapter. im rereading the piarles blue neighbourhood story and i think ive figured it out.
you know your characters like the back of your hand. you know their motivations, what they love, how the organise themselves. you know everything about them, and it’s truly so beautiful to read. it adds so much depth and meaning to a simple sentence.
for other writers - do you have any tips for knowing your characters better? and how to develop from knowing your character into words?
Hi babes,
Sorry you sent this while I was out on hiatus recovering from Hateful Bitch Disease, but I'm back and I hope I can do this beautiful question justice.
So, I took this writing class a few years ago that told me to build characters from the outside and then go in. Like do their physical characteristics and then think about their mannerisms and trace them all back to their motivations.
That's shit advice. I tried that and I ended up not writing the characters I wanted at all.
Ultimately, you have to find a way to build characters that work for you, but the way I do it is like this:
I decide what kind of story I want to tell. I'll use Blue Neighbourhood as an example, specifically Charles.
I knew the kind of story I wanted Charles to have - I wanted him to grow in love, to bloom under a steady, unwavering love.
I thought about what that might look like - how he's hesitant and hides things without meaning to. How he doesn't share things with the group until he's backed into a corner.
I thought about what being an artist is and what that means to Charles and how I use creativity to hide sometimes. Charles mixes paint colors when he's stressed.
I thought about who he would be to Danny - how their history would influence the way he interacts with him. How that relationship would change the way Charles interacts with Max.
The complicated thing about groups is all the interpersonal relationships are different.
Getting to know them better is just thinking about them to me. I had to drive out to East County to take a load of donated goods to a shelter (2 hour round trip for me) and I thought about Charles and Pierre and the way their relationship worked and came home and wrote like 15K in two days.
As for putting them into words...I don't have a lot of advice because I write in the most chaotic way and it's not recommended, but I do recommend writing more.
If you write Tumblr ficlets for three months and nothing else? amazing.
If you write a long fic over a year? perfect.
Writing more. Developing your characters more. That's how you become a better writer.
I sent something that I wrote two years ago to a friend recently and I went back and reread it and I was like, oh this is trash because my character development and my sentence structure and everything has just gotten so so so much better and it's because I've spent the last two years writing and writing and writing.
I hope this is helpful. I hope you write and you know that your words are amazing.
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so i just read the devil dogs series (the inspiration i read first and you were completely correct) and i wanted to commend you for some of the most touching words ive ever read. there are 26 letters in the english alphabet and you put them together in such a gripping and phenomenal way that i hardly have the words to describe it. a simple kudos wasnt enough and i just had to let you know how these pieces made me feel. thank you for sharing your talent for stories with us. <3
i just keep rereading this because i just. im so, so glad you liked that little series. i spent so many hours dreaming about writing it and then finally getting to do so was so much fun. it has to be one of the best things i've written, not going to lie. and to know that it resonated with you so much that you came HERE to tell me? god, just take my still beating heart! there are tears in my eyes, friend! thank you so, so much, you've really made my week :''''))) i appreciate you and please know that you deserve all the joy this world has to offer!
#no because im crying#everyone is out to get me today with love and idk how to handle it :'''''))))#silly things from silly friends
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Sending via Tumblr rather than commenting on the fic itself; I watched mamma mia again recently and was unfairly compelled to return to this one remarkable fic called darling that *gets me* and satisfies all the narrative fictional needs the 100 left me with.
I'm so grateful to you for not only writing it, but writing it so wonderfully.
That the more I reread it instead of reading the news for self soothing, the more I analyze it and disagree with my own earlier, frankly exuberant to the point of dumb comments.
So I'ma just talk @ you about your work here where it feels less weird and contradictory for a minute because t h o u g h t s.
In a lot of my comments I speculated about endgames, after a few throw away lines jokingly hopeful for an OT3, or not wanting Raven to settle for a guy who'd spent the whole fic agonizing over the same woman her ex cheated with etc etc.
But as I'm rereading now just to be chill and quiet in my brain the "reader brain" can kick in and see the massive and parallel amounts of breadcrumb foreshadowing you've done, especially considering the pacing, expected chapter count, and the mystery of what's up with spacekru rn.
I now more than ever suspect the Raven/Bellamy and Murphy/Clarke endgame, that's where I'm at, because I believe you when you've said you waffled about it because you're writing is sophisticated enough that you could pull off either, (and I've obviously waffled in my comments) but I'm seeing breadcrumbs that seem decisive in the latest chapters and heck even if I'm still wrong I just got all fond of your writing when I thought about likely scenarios and the spacekru chapters yet to come.
Even more excited thinking about Bellamy and Clarke as parallels instead of fated star crossed cinematic lovers. Both holding someone else's hand for five years after a single year cinematic romance. Oooooo
Also go Raven for being the adult Murphy never will be and just saying it aloud to Bellamy's conscious face. Even if prompted by probable death and without us readers knowing how long exactly she'd known herself. Just brilliant stuff!
Tl;Dr given the evidence of the thirty chapters I'm enjoying for the upteenth time, I know I'm going to have a fantastic time with wherever you take us next.
P.s. thank you so much srsly, this has healed what the cw did with hours of my life.
Ahhhh thank you!!!! This comment is amazing and I’ve read it like six thousand times since you sent it and it just like makes my day. (Also I love getting super long comments on my fic too so like feel free to leave comments wherever you want!)
Literally having people speculate endgames in the comments is so much fun, so whether you’re against something or for something, I love reading it. That being said, I cannot comment on endgames because that’s illegal ;) but I do know endgames definitively at this point so if you want my thoughts on your thoughts or to know hit me up privately!
Also I wish I could like your individual paragraphs because your thoughts are fantastic and I love reading them and like individually giving them hearts would be fantastic
Lol Raven has the balls Murphy wishes he had. She’d definitely be rubbing it in Murphy’s face if the radios worked both ways.
Thank you again!!! I really love long comments about peoples thoughts and I’m sorry it took six thousand years to reply!
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First "Breakup"...
My favorite thing that I just noticed is that I really only come back to Tumblr when things aren't going well 😂 I always want to keep posting here, for my own records, but when I have somebody in my life to vent to, I forget that I have this space! but anyway... So, I posted about him a handful of times I think. Sebastian? We met on Tinder back in April and we've been steadily getting more and more relationship-y. I thought that I was stringing him along. I really liked him, and if I was gonna make a relationship work, it would have been him. We don't live in the same town, but we made the trip to each other a handful of times, we texted everyday, we always were talking about the future: our halloween costumes we'd do together, Christmas plans, shows we were gonna watch together, plans for me to meet his parents, etc. We never made anything official, but I thought he was down bad... I kinda was "losing interest." Not in the sense that I wanted any other guy, but I sometimes think I'm aromantic and I just felt like it was getting too real. I wanted to run away. But... since Saturday, I have in fact learned that I am probably not aromantic and that I instead just have issues... He ended it out of nowhere. I've been obliterated. I can't go more than a few hours without crying, and they've been titanic like meltdown sobs... I can't get homework done. I can't focus on anything. I just came to my office (knowing I have fucking office hours and my students can come in at any time), and just finished sobbing for about two hours straight. He said that he had "felt nothingness come over him" a few months ago and that he had hoped it would go away with time. He said he just had lost the spark. And it's been fucking UGLY... I spent the weekend doing everything I thought I could. I did everything I thought I could do to claw back at his heart. I told him how much he meant, I apologized profusely for being a bit more cold and reserved the last like two weeks. I wrote him a fucking letter basically telling him how torn the fuck up I am and that I respect his choice but I'll be there if he changes his mind. I keep trying to think of the fucking perfect string of words that will move him, the "romantic acts" I could try, the posts that will get his attention... And it's just an endless cycle having to remind myself that it's over. This wasn't some skirmish or something I was doing that I can correct. He, in his heart of hearts, just truly doesn't feel it for me anymore. And he tried to let me down easily, but I kept pushing and the more I reread his texts the more clear it is to me that he has nothing for me... He said he wanted to be friends and all that. He said that maybe in time things will change. But in the letter, I basically told him that I wasn't going to hold my breath but that it would be a good while until I was done. That he could come back and I'd be there. and he basically was like "I hope that this hasn't ruined future endeavors or made you more hesitant with guys in the future" and was just politely basically telling me that it's not fucking happening... I just don't think I've been this wholly destroyed... My grandma passed away a year ago (in two days actually...). She was my best friend and the love of my life. And, this feels cringey to even be saying and thinking, but I've been taking this harder than I took that... I could bottle with her death. I could put it away and pretend that I'd be okay. I was able to keep going. This stuff with Sebastian has stopped my life. It feels like I lost the one thing that was keeping me here in line. I think between moving away from my past life, and starting a new school and new jobs in a new city.... I think Sebastian became my only rock and the only thing I could count on in my life that kept me grounded. and now he's just gone without warning. without anything I can do. I don't know what to do... I'm eviscerated. I just want this life to stop for a little bit.
10.09.23
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