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depressedacadamia · 3 years

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Dimples

Summary: Apparently Nico has dimples and Will did not know.

A/N: Heheheee, motherfuckers my exams are in a week and a half and I haven't revised shit. Instead, I'm writing these. Wish me luck, this might be the only fic I post for the next 2 weeks but if you're lucky, I might post pt 2 for 'How to passive aggressively say Fuck you in flower'. Toodle pip and <3 from mee!

Extra edit: I forgot it was solangelo week, woops.

Read on A03

Nico Di Angelo was not known for smiling. He was not known for grinning or laughing. He was however, known for snarling, sarcastic, outdated remarks and terrifying people to the point where they’d rather face death itself than face him and his wrath.

So of course, Percy and every logical being would avoid him at all costs when he was in one of his ‘moods’. These so-called ‘moods’ referred to when Nico seemed particularly dangerous, like when his eyes had a dangerous glower to them that hinted he enjoyed threatening others a tad too much- in fact, so much so that Leo had suggested that Nico may be a sadist (That hadn’t gone well for Leo, to say the very least).

But of course, William Andrew Solace was in no way a logical being nor was he very fearful of Nico’s alternating and very much violent auras. Now, this wasn't necessarily a bad thing necessarily, in fact, it was the very thing that had started their relationship and while everybody thought Will was insensitive with his historical jokes he made towards Nico, Nico greatly appreciated being able to understand something from his time.

Will, on several occasions, related him to Captain America in Marvel's Avengers.

So when Nico, in his terrifying rage, stormed into the infirmary, Percy wasn’t sure what he was about to witness. Were these two having an argument? Nico looked like he was going to set the infirmary ablaze or perhaps bury it 6 feet under- it was truly the unpredictability that created the suspense and fear.

“Where are they?” Nico’s voice was calm, cold but sharp. His words felt like the gentle, smooth slant of a knife, apply pressure and you get cut. Nobody dared to answer. The infirmary’s silence seemed like one of lambs, too scared to speak out until another leader did. Whether they expected Nico to simply leave if no one answered, they certainly did not expect him to ask again.

“Where. Are. They?” He punctuated his words, his voice combined with a deadly hunger that could only be satisfied with death.

The room felt like a cave. The only words being echoed back were Nico’s own words, bouncing off the smooth walls of the infirmary. The corners seemed dark, the white presence of the infirmary slowly being poisoned. It seemed like fate sealed their hands- they were like lambs to the slaughter: helpless.

“WHERE ARE THEY!” Nico roared. This time, he did not wait for a response. He took a small glimpse at the camper in front of him, who was obviously avoiding his gaze, and the next thing the kid knew was that he was pinned to the wall with a metre of stygian iron under his neck. The kid hyperventilated and in a moment of sheer panic and pure fear, blurted,

“I don’t know where they are! “

Nico, holding the camper up with one hand, shoved him into the wall again. “ But you hurt them anyway?”

The camper was completely clueless but he wasn’t stupid. Simply denying whatever Nico was accusing him of would increase Nico’s rage and that could lead everyone down a very dark road.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt them! I swear...” He started to sob. “ I swear it was an accident!”

“You hurt them! That isn’t an accident. You will pay for your crimes. I swear I will-”

“-Dear god, Nico what the hell?” A voice of pure confusion entered the infirmary. Nico, on recognising the voice, felt his head snap backwards-trying to find the course of the voice. There on the other side of the infirmary, with his leg in a cast, stood Will solace, still as unfashionable as ever.

Nico almost teleported to Will, considering how fast he appeared by his side. “ Are you okay? It’s okay, I found out who did it and-”

“-Jesus, Stalin, calm down there.” Will looked at the terrified boy who was in tears. “This kid knows nothing. He wasn’t even there. Were you just putting on some show trials?”

Nico had to resist the twitch in his lips at the communism jokes. Ever since Will had found out that Nico’s weakness was communism jokes, he had been exploiting it, just like the working class were exploited, and using it to his own advantage.

“Wait, this kid wasn’t involved?” Nico looked at all the terrified people in the infirmary, still frozen to their spots, waiting for the go sign for them to continue with their lives.

Will waved his hand. “Go ahead, continue with your business. He will be on his best behaviour now that I’m here.”

“Uh, says who?”

“Says my broken leg.”

On the mention of a broken leg, Nico’s worry instantly returned. His hand reached out to touch Will’s face, in a gesture of affection before quickly snatching it away. Will reached for his hand, took it in his own and intertwined their fingers as in to say It’s okay, they support us. It’s okay, I love you and you love me. It’s okay, I’m not ashamed of being in love with you.

Nico appreciated the gesture and once again, fought the urge to give in to the overwhelming desire to smile at his perfect boyfriend.

“Are you okay? Can you show me your leg? What happened? Why can’t you heal it?” The words began flying out of Nico’s mouth, the concern on his face unhideable. His eyebrows were cutely creased together and he kept on placing his hands all over Will- it was driving him crazy.

“Calm down there, communist. This is my injury, not yours.” Will joked, trying to hide his blush- truth be told, he did not want to tell Nico the real reason behind how he broke his leg because it was honestly the most ridiculous reason one may ever hear in their entire life.

Nico let out a little snort of laughter after hearing another communist joke but was careful to keep it on the downlow. He noticed that Will was being quite indirect and avoiding his gaze: he knew that could only mean one thing.

“What did you do to break your leg?” Nico smirked wickedly, understanding that Will had, once again, been quite idiotic.

Will, gasping in mock offense but also quite embarrassed by how well his own boyfriend knew him, let out a bubble of nervous daughter. “ Hahaa, what do you mean? I broke my leg the same way everyone else does...”

“... which is?”

Due to the vast amount of broken legs he had healed, Will actually knew how to answer this question. “ Through sports.”

“Sports?” Nico snorted. “ You? Sports? Have you ever even run in your entire life? I swear the only thing you do is heal and read. Maybe sleep on the offhand you listen to me.”

“You can’t talk over there!”

“Just tell me how you broke your leg, for the love of the Gods!”

“I was having a competition with Percy for who could heal faster.”

“You were doing what?”

“A competition Nico, have you ever heard of one? Normally the losers forget they exist so I wouldn't be surprised that you had never heard of one-”

“No, I know what a competition is, you idiot. What I don't know is, why on earth you were having a regeneration competition with Percy of all the demigods you could have chosen, you chose the one with the ability to heal themselves as well?”

Will pouted slightly, his eyebrows making a small frown. “I would have thought you would be halfway through murdering Percy right about now.”

“If Percy managed to win, then honestly, you kinda deserved it.”

“I thought you liked me!”

“I thought my boyfriend wasn’t an idiot!”

“Technically I won because Percy was too baby-ish to break his own leg!”

Nico took a very long pause. Slowly, he began shaking his head, from side to side. The expression on his face was illegible but eventually it morphed into one of laughter. His laugh was rich and so was the expression on his face. His lips were curled upwards, his eyes were creasing, with long beautiful dimples on both sides of his face- as clear as the moon on a clear night.

The infirmary was silent. They simply stared at the beautiful angel who graced the place with their voice. They were horrified and in awe. Nico Di Angelo was capable of smiling! He was capable of laughing!

It was a fucking miracle.

“What did I tell you!” Percy yelled, throwing his arm over Annabeth who simply sighed. “I fucking told you! I knew he had dimples!”

Will, slightly stunned, simply took Nico’s face in both his hands. His crystal blue eyes were wide open and to Nico it looked like the ocean was inviting him to take a dive into int’s complex and unknown depths.

Into the unknooooowwwwwnnnnnn.

He cursed himself for that being his first thought. He then cursed Will for making him watch Frozen because it was apparently culturally inappropriate to not have seen it. Then he cursed himself again for cursing Will.

“Holy shit,” Will whispered as he stared into his boyfriends grinning face. “Holy fuck Nico, you never told me you had dimples.”

“Language.”

“Holy shit, holy fucking hell. You cannot smile at me like that Nicolo Di Angelo and expect me to keep my language appropriate. Have you ever seen yourself in a mirror?”

“Calm down,” Nico groaned, throwing his head backwards. He could feel his palms getting sweaty from Will’s words- what could he say, he was slightly embarrassed.

“Wait!” Will cried. “ Do it again. Smile again!”

Nico gave a sultry smirk and Will whacked his arm. “ I asked you to smile at me, not seduce me. Smile!”

“Who wouldn't be happy to be seduced by me?”

“Just smile, please!”

Nico sighed before looking at his gorgeous boyfriend. His eyes darted down at the cast around the leg and immediately Nico remembered the cause of injury. He started laughing, his lips stretching into a genuine smile and his dimples flashing all across his face. Will, still holding his boyfriend's face, couldn’t help himself as he brought their lips together.

Will was so used to feeling Nico’s smile when they kissed so when he brought their lips together, he didn't know what he was expecting. It felt different for some reason, it felt more.. It felt better, it felt like he was getting a new piece of Nico. Feeling Nico smile and seeing him smile were two different things and now that he could picture Nico’s smile as he kissed his smiling lips, Will thought he’d explode from happiness.

Will pulled away quickly, his hand still cemented to Nico’s grinning face. He had pulled away just so he could see Nico’s smile and more importantly his dimples again.

“What?” Nico’s innocent voice and grin combined confirmed for Will that if he died on that very spot, he would have died a happy man.

“Holy shit, you’re the cutest person ever.”

And with that, he brought their lips together again.

Neither of them noticed Thalia and Annabeth sulking as they paid up their debts to Percy from losing the bet.

#will solace #nico di angelo #solangelo #will solace fanfic #nico di angelo fanfic #solangelo fanfic #solangelo week #solangeloweek2021 #will x nico #nico x will #Nico x will fluff #Nico x Will fanfiction #nico x will fanfic #percy jackson #pjo #thalia grace #annabeth chase #hoo #percy jackson fanfic

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fluffymcu · 4 years

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Letting Loose

Part FIVE

This series is TICKLE related. Outfits that are linked here are purely for picturing the clothes, you don’t have to look like the model.

Series Summary: You’re the little sister of the one and only Captain America. You’re also the youngest girl on the team, so that automatically makes you the avengers’ little princess. And they spoil you as such. They have become your amazing family and you don’t know where you’d be without them. This series will show random adventures and fluffy events in the daily life of the reader and her family, along with an unexpected turn later on as you read.

A/N: I’m so excited to be writing this series! This is my first time writing one and I’m a bit nervous but I hope it all goes well. :) The first few chapters will be about random events, not really following a timeline until Chapter 9. Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 2,500

Previous Next

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School was okay, Jeremy hadn’t come to school so you had a pretty decent day as you didn’t have to deal with his constant teasing. You had gone about your day, talking with friends and meeting Ned and Peter for lunch, until the last bell rang and you excitedly packed your things and skipped to your locker.

You were especially excited to get home today because last night over dinner, Tony suggested we should barbecue outside tonight and hang out at the pool. You put your books in your locker and stood by it, waiting for Peter. While you waited, you were towered over by a shadow behind you, and you turned around to see a tall guy with his friends, smirking down at you. You smiled tightly and awkwardly, nodding slowly as he just started at you while holding that smirk. Finally, after what felt like forever, he spoke up.

“Hey girl.” He said smugly, nodding once.

You gave him a polite smile and nodded back. “Hi.” He chuckled and leaned toward you, crossing his arms and leaning against your locker.

“What are you doing later?” He asked, his friends chuckling behind him. You looked around for Peter, not trying to make it obvious but you really wanted him to show up. Any time now…

“Uhh, I am going to go home and hang out with my family.” You said, tilting your head and smiling, turning around again, mentally cursing when Peter still wasn’t rounding the corner. You sighed and turned to see him looking at you up and down. You immediately began to feel twice as uncomfortable and you started to shift on your feet nervously.

“Why don’t you ditch those plans, and come to my house to hang out? I’d like to get to know you better.” He smirked. You couldn’t hide your grimace as you shook your head.

“Nnno thanks, I’d rather go home and relax. I’m kinda tired.” You said, giving him a lopsided grin and deciding to just get out of there and text Peter to meet you somewhere else, but he got in front of you blocking your way.

“Oh, come on honey. There will be other times to go home, don’t miss out on an opportunity like this.” He said, pointing at himself, his friends agreeing behind him. You put your hand up to refuse.

“I think I’ll be fine.” You chuckled, trying again to walk around him but he grabbed your arm to stop you. You silently gasped and looked down at your arm, and he immediately let go.

“Look. I’m just saying, a lot of girls want to date me so the fact that I’m coming to you should make you feel spe-“ He was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder and he turns around to see Peter. His eyebrows are furrowed and he’s looking at the guy suspiciously. “Can I help you?”

Peter looks at you for a brief moment before looking back at him. You sigh in relief at his presence and visibly relax. “Uh, Yeah, you can. You can go bother someone else, she’s clearly uncomfortable and doesn’t wanna talk to you. So if you could lay off, that’d be great.” He says, giving him a tight smile and walking over to stand by you.

“Look kid, you weren’t here when we were talking. So you don’t know how she feels so lets just let the lady decide.” He smirked, pointing towards you. Peter then took a defensive step towards him and looked up at him since he was a bit taller than him.

“She turned you down twice. I know it. So back off.” Peter said sternly. The two boys stared at each other before the other finally backing off. He let out a chuckle, looking at you right in the eyes.

“Didn’t take you as the loser type.” He quipped, turning around and walking away. Peter started at him but you grabbed his arm.

“It’s okay! He doesn’t matter, just leave it.” You smiled genuinely at him, his frown softening into a smile. You both made your way outside to look for Happy and stood at the sidewalk, waiting for his car.

“Did he touch you, or hurt you?” He asked. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay really. And no, he didn’t hurt me. He grabbed my arm but it wasn’t rough at all. Don’t worry this had happened before, not my first time.” You chuckled. You finally spotted Happy’s car and you both got in, excited for tonight.

------

“How was the test?” Happy asked you both, referring to the test you had taken today at school. Peter went on to explain how easy the test was while you stared out the window for a moment.

“Yeah it wasn’t as easy for me, since I'm not as smart as this braniac,” You teased, ruffling Peter’s hair, causing his to chuckle. “But it wasn’t too hard either. I guess it was a pretty challenging test. I hope I passed.” You shrug. Peter reassured you and you smiled, thanking him before arriving at the compound.

You said hi to everybody, giving Steve, Tony, Nat, and Bucky a hug before running upstairs to stretch. You got in your leotard and began to stretch your legs, moving on to practicing a few easy dances that didn’t require much space since you were practicing in your room. You didn’t know why you preferred practicing in your room instead of the gym where there's lots of space, maybe you just felt more cozy in your room. Your room was still really big though, so it wasn’t cramped. But seeing how much you practiced in there, Tony just decided to install a stretching bar on one of the walls.

You had taken up ballet when you were younger, after you had gotten back from the ice, and it had just stuck with you. You stopped attending recitals or taking classes when you were in 7th grade but you practiced and remembered the basics and a few dances you did on the stage.

After practicing, you changed into some clothes and went downstairs to join the team. Everyone was in the second living room of the compound, closest to the backyard. You sat next to Steve and he smiled, wrapping an arm around you. “You excited?” He asked. You nodded, a wide grin displayed on your features. Tony and Clint got up from the couches to go take the meat out of the fridge and take it out to the grill. “Alright, we’re gonna start on the barbecue now.” Everyone nodded and began to go upstairs to change. You and Peter raced upstairs and you both went to your rooms to change into your outfits.

“Last one in the pool is a big loser!” You yelled over to Peter before slamming the door to your room. You put on your two piece suit, and ran out your room, trudging down the stairs. You were coming up behind Steve and he turned around at the sound of your hurried footsteps. Steve smirked before snatching you off the ground and holding you bridal style. “Steeeeve!” You whined partly annoyed, twisting around in his grip.

“Why are you running? You’ll get there.” He chuckled, kissing your cheek. You grunted as you pushed him away. He smirked and tightened his grip on you, smiling widely when he heard you burst into bubbly giggles from him expertly squeezing at your sides. “What’s this whole ‘rushing to get in the pool’ thing, huh?” He asked. You blushed, cackling when he began scratching at a particularly ticklish spot on your ribs.

“STOHOHOP! I CAHAHANT!” You squealed, making Steve giggle along with you. After a few more moments of torture, he finally stilled his fingers. You relaxed in his hold, panting and holding his hands at bay for good measure.

“I'm racing with Peter.” You giggled. Steve hummed and let you down, watching as you ran off again. Surprisingly, Peter still wasn’t out. Just as he came running outside you let out a cheer and jumped into the pool. He sighed disappointedly, and you brought your head out of the water. “Why’d you take so long? Your swimsuit is literally just a pair of shorts.” You giggled, closing your eyes before the water hit your face as he made a big splash.

“I couldn’t find my shorts so it took me longer to change.” He chuckled. You laughed and shook your head at him. He’s always losing his stuff. A few more minutes went by before the rest of the team joined you all in the pool. Bucky, Steve, Thor, Sam, Nat, Wanda, and Pietro were in the water while Bruce and Vision were on the reclining chairs, and Tony and Clint were cooking the meat. You and Peter splashed around, using pool noodles and water guns, Eventually, everyone in the pool joined you and Peter’s little battle, grabbing their own water guns and fighting every man for himself. Nat and Bucky had the upper hand in the water gun fight, for obvious reasons.

After a while, Bucky had won the fight. You jumped out the pool and wrapped your hair in a towel to not track water inside. You had forgotten your flipflops inside so you had to go get them. You shivered as the cold air of the compound hit your body that was warm from the pool water. You hurried to find your shoes before going back outside and taking your towel out. When you came back, Thor was messing around with Nat, throwing her up in the air and catching her. She was yelling at him to stop, the team laughing at her expense. You smiled, taking a seat on the edge of the pool and dipping your feet in.

“Thor stohohohop!” She squeals, causing another round of laughter from the team. He throws her up one more time, laughing handsomely when she yelps again before putting her back down. She growled, feigning annoyance as she swam as far away from him. You giggled, grabbing Thor’s attention. He smiled widely at you before nodding. “Would you like a go, little one?” He asked, the team turning to look at you with wide smiles. You shrunk yourself a bit, shaking your head shyly.

“Nohoho. No thanks.” You squeaked. The team began to chuckle, yelling random “come on”s and “don’t be scared” and “it’ll be fun.” You still shook your head, giggling and getting nervous when Thor swam his way over to you.

“Nonsense! Don’t be scared, darling. Its fun!” He chuckled, grabbing you and bringing you to his chest, chuckling at your protests.

“Nohohoho.” You giggled, squealing when he picked you up and held you over his head. The team began to chuckle at your nervous state.

“Just relax, y/n, it’ll be fun.” Steve smirked at you, giving you an encouraging nod. Thor grinned before throwing you up high, causing you to scream. You laughed frantically as he caught you, tapping his shoulder repeatedly. “Okayokayokay, I'm done, let me GOHOHOOO!” You shrieked when he suddenly threw you up again, sending the team into hysterics. You were really scared in the moment but at the same time you were having so much fun. You knew Thor knew what he was doing but you couldn’t help the nervous butterflies in your stomach as you flew through the air.

“Thohohor wahahahait!!Hahahaha!” You tried before falling into silent laughter as he threw you up again. Thor laughed along with the team, throwing you up again before suddenly bringing your stomach up to his face, blowing a big, slobbery raspberry. You shrieked, pushing at his head and throwing your head back in hysterics. “THOHOHOR!!”

The team once again found themselves in a fit of laughter at your expense. Thor continued to throw you up, blowing a raspberry on your belly every time he’d catch you. Somehow, his rasperries on your wet skin made the feeling 10 times worse. After throwing you up one last time and playfully biting your ribs, he set you back down in the water. You could barely stand so you decided to just float around, letting out residual giggles.

“Now it’s the Spiderboy’s turn!”

Spiderboy was gone

----

You got out of the shower, feeling really tired from the night in the pool. You changed into some warm pajamas and went down to the kitchen to get a late night snack. You settled on a granola bar and went back up to your room and get in bed before falling asleep.

A couple of hours later, you woke up, looking at the clock on your nightstand. It was almost 3am. You were feeling hungry again so you sighed and got up to get to the kitchen. Time at the pool always made you extra hungry after. When you jogged up the stairs, you noticed light shine from under Bucky’s door to his room. You were confused to why his light was on this late so you peeked your head in to see him with his hands on his knees, sitting on the edge of the bed. You frowned, since you realized he probably had a nightmare and woke up. You felt bad for him, since these nightmares were common for him to have. You opened the door a but more to show your presence, smiling lightly when Bucky’s eyes met yours. “Oh, hey, what are you still doing up?’ He asked. You smirked a bit, sassing him.

“I could ask you the same thing.” You walk over to him, smiling as he breathed out a laugh. He returned his gaze to the ground and sighed.

“Just another one of those nightmares again.” He shrugged. You sat next to him, holding his hand in the both of yours. You both sat there in silence for a few moments before you spoke again.

“Are you gonna try to go to sleep again?” You ask, looking up at him. He pauses, shaking his head slightly.

“I don’t think so, baby doll.” He sighed, not taking his eyes off the floor. You drop your gaze, looking at some of the books on his shelf before you came to an idea.

“What if I stay with you until you fall asleep? That way you can sleep peacefully and you won’t be tired and grumpy tomorrow.” You smiled hopefully. Bucky chuckled and sighed, giving in. He knew you weren’t gonna go to sleep either if you knew he was still up. He laid back down on the bed and opened his arms towards you. “Sure honey.” You grinned and got under the covers and snuggled up to him, squeezing him in a tight hug. He laid there, staring out into nothing, absentmindedly running his fingers through your hair.

Although you were the one who fell asleep first, Bucky felt extremely comforted by your act of kindness and not long after, he found himself drifting off with a peaceful expression on his face.

#ticklish!reader #tickle fight #avengers tickle #marvel tickle #steve x reader #thor x reader

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beyoncesdragon · 4 years

Text

title: tongue tip trip

➳ pairing: harry styles x reader, best friends to lovers trope but a bit different.

➳ summary: Harry eats edibles and you come to the rescue...despite almost four months of no talking and zero communication.

➳ warnings: Harry eats edibles, swearing and some fluff, it’s also fan fiction so its ✨unrealistic✨ okay, also its 1AM I wanna sleep

➳ a/n: I love this one tbh. but please don’t do drugs children

Jeff hardly ever called you. Even when Harry and you had still be close, him calling you was a rarity. But when he then did, you couldn't help but feel a bit worried at the sign of his user ID flashing up on your phone. This time was no exception, but besides worry there was also surprise and a whole bunch of uncomfortable memories and unsaid words. You hadn't heard from him (or Harry) in weeks. Sure, Jeff and you still sometimes texted a bit, you also were still in good contact with Claire and especially Mitch and you still got along. Harry and you...well, that was a different and longer story.

Harry and you used to be very close friends. Means, helping him what socks to choose before performing-close friends. You had met a year in Harry going solo, you a simple assistant engineer and him the highly praised Popstar. The two of you had quickly bonded over a few glasses of chilled white wine in the humid air of Jamaica and soon your friendship blossomed in the most beautiful ways. Well it did until you, obviously, started to feel a bit more for the singer. Now, that alone wasn't a problem itself, the fact that Harry knew (you had told him after a few weeks of awkward suffering) wasn't either. The problem was that Harry acted like a dick to anyone you brought around, up to the point where you seemingly couldn't ever date again. Of course Harry wasn't a straight up asshole to them, he still had a reputation to maintain, but he knew how to get under their skin. Just toying with their self-confidence and subtly making them feel like the biggest losers. Oh and, the absolute worst part, all whilst having a girlfriend himself. Which eliminated the possibility of him having feeling for you as a reason why he acted like a jerk. And that angered you more and more and it all escalated in a big, nasty and hurtful fight, around four - five months ago. Since then you hadn't talked, texted or seen each other.

It had been a big change of habit not to get up and first check the phone for messages of him, or simply FaceTime him to check up on his schedule. No spending time at cafes or at the studios with him and the rest of the team. Lucky thing you had other jobs running, on other albums and in other studios around Malibu than his.

He was currently recording music at the Shangri-La studios in Malibu, maybe ten minutes from your flat by car. Which had been described as a "lucky and obviously unplanned extra" by Harry himself, followed by a cheeky grin. You had just rolled your eyes, but secretly happy that he had cared about you being near during his writing process. But now it only left a sour aftertaste in your mouth.

With a sigh you pulled the key out of the ignition and picked up the phone. You figured you could also wait in the parking lot for a few more minutes.

"Hello?"

"Sweetheart? Jeff's here..." you hummed softly, leaning back.

"Hello there Jeff. Everything alright?" you could hear him cough slightly, before he answered with a weird lilt to his tone. He sounded somewhat stressed out. "Yeah, everything's fine...how have you been?" you shrugged lightly, inspecting your nails.

"Fine. Working and stuff. I guess same for you?" he was quick to agree, again with that weird cough.

"Everything okay Jeff? Something happened?" you finally asked, tired of his obvious tip toeing around the real issue. He knew that you weren't so stupid to believe that Jeff had just called you to check up on you at five in the afternoon.

"Well not...quite. I - uh...it's because of Harry. Now, listen, I know the two of you did not part in like, the best ways but..." you couldn't help but close your eyes with a slight wince, "...but you've got to believe me, it's an emergency, kinda." You just sighed.

"Kinda?" he hummed, saying nothing for a few seconds. "Do I need to talk to him?" you asked into the silence. Jeff was quick to say no however. "Uh...rather not, actually." You blinked surprised.

"Rather not? Is he drunk?" not that this would be a first, Harry being drunk caller by nature. If he was lucky he then would find himself calling someone like Paul, his old bodyguard, few months ago maybe you, just not one of his exes or someone else you probably shouldn't call anyways – especially not drunk. But this time it didn't seemed to be like that, since Jeff answered hesitantly. "Not exactly, no." your frown deepened at his words, feeling slight annoyance creeping up. "Jeffrey! What's the matter? Is he hurt? In an accident? Called his ex? Called Zayn? What is it? Just tell me already!"

Jeff sighed deeply. "He's high." A relieved huff left your lips. That wasn't half as bad, wasn't it? "That's it? Little weed hurts no body, besides I would've been more concerned if he would've drank. Besides, he almost never does weed..." Jeff interrupted you quickly. "Not exactly weed sweetheart. You remember the uh, edibles I told you about, the ones we stored in the fridge..." A deep groan escaped your lips.

"Are you kidding me?" you groaned, shaking your head. "Well no. However, he accidentally bit of his tongue tip, few minutes ago." Your hand dropped from the steering wheel and smashed down and you accidentally honked, immediately getting confused and outraged looks from the cars passing by.

"He did WHAT?" you meant to hear a smile in Jeff's voice, underneath all the layers of just mild concern. "Yeah's a little unfortunate." you just huffed. A little unfortunate, if that's what they decided to call it, then fine. Nonetheless, Harry should probably visit a doctor. "Can he still sing?" you asked, somewhat defeated. The noise behind Jeff increased, you assumed that he was entering the studio again. "Hold on a sec...can you hear him?" And oh how you could hear him.

He was singing, no yelling on top of his voice, trying to outmatch the speakers that were thumping Paul McCartney's "Too Many People", though unmistakably mumbling a little. Just the sound of his voice made your heart clench in pain a little.

"Yeah I can." You mumbled, wishing for Jeff to talk over Harry's voice again. "So his career isn't in danger right? Means I can just..." Jeff sighed deeply, pleadingly.

"Y/N, please...he needs medical care." You pouted displeased, spinning the car keys in your fingers. "And you cant drive him because...?" this time he definitely laughed. "What do you think? Harry being the only one on drugs?" you shrugged. "You don't sound like you would bite your tongue off..." he just huffed. "That's because I only had a glass of white wine, but never drink and drive..." you let out a loud laugh, starting your car. "Oh sure! And don't mix drugs with alcohol, right?" he chuckled softly. "Course not. We're that responsible, you know." you just hummed unconvinced, sighing again.

"Okay fine. I'll pick him up." Jeff released a long breath before thanking you warmly. "Thank you so much, angel...how long will you take, you think?" your eyes darted from the rear-view mirror to the road behind the parking lot, before you shifted the reverse gear again to leave the parking.

"About 10 minutes? Maybe?" you guessed, eyeing the traffic suspiciously. It wasn't rush-hour just yet, but there were still plenty of cars on the road. "Okay...oh hi Harry." You immediately tensed up, swallowing hard when you heard Harrys deep voice again.

"Who y'takin to?" Harry spoke as if he had a full mouth, trying not spit out its content. "Oh just...Y/N." Jeff answered truthfully. Harry then said something you couldn't quite understand before Jeff ushered him to go away again with the words; "She'll come in a few minutes anyways." It made you swallow heavily; had Harry asked to talk to you? You stopped the thoughts and focused on the road again. "I'll see you in five." And with that you hung up.

❦

Harry and Jeff were already waiting in front of the studio when you pulled up, Harry having a bloody cloth pressed to his mouth. They looked like father and son, right off the principal's office for starting a fight on campus. It almost made you laugh. Then your eyes met and the amusement left your body as quickly as it came. You were not ready to face him again, even after all those months.

"Thank you so much Y/N, I owe you...you good H?" Jeff asked as he opened the passenger door. "Yeh, m'fine, fanks." Harry mumbled, eyes darting up to meet yours, just to look away immediately. "We'll be back soon." You sighed, not yet ready to properly greet Harry. Or look at him, for starters. To be fair, he wasn't doing any better. "Sure. I hope he doesn't bleed on your seats." Jeff joked, well aware of the weird tension. You just shrugged, waving him goodbye. "See you in a few Jeff." Or not, but you didn't know that yet.

The ride was almost completely silent expect for the time where you asked if he was okay and he mumbled a "yeh". The radio was filling the silence and you were glad for it. The songs weren't that good at the moment, you just wanted something to be loud and talking, even if it was just the obnoxious radio host who kept cutting off the songs. That was until "Change" by RM and Wale started to play and you perked up immediately. A happy smile crept on your face as you recognised the tune. You yourself had helped with the song and you proudly acknowledged the credit they gave you. You hadn't expected it to be played over here in America, but you were happy it was. Harry had obviously noticed your change of behaviour and carefully peaked over.

"Y'know tha'shong?" you nodded, momentarily forgetting that Harry and you hadn't interacted the last ten minutes. "Helped write it. With Namjoon, aka. RM and Wale." Harry nodded slowly. "Ish Namjhoon f'om...?" he tried and you nodded. "BTS? Yeah." He just nodded again. The next second Wale already mentioned BTS in his verse and Harry huffed. "Oh."

"I've sheen - seen the pictures of you n'him." you quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah? Well, he was nice." Harry nodded again, another stolen glance into your direction. "Lishten..." he started but you cut him off. You already knew what he was about to say anyways.

"Let's not have this conversation now Harry. Please. Let's talk when there isn't blood gushing from your mouth." He nodded, but his shoulders relaxed a little bit. After all, he was glad you were up to talk, even if it wasn't just right now, but a bit later on. He had time anyways. He peaked over again, taking in the sight of you. Your hair was now longer than last time and your face somehow sharper – maybe you had lost weight. Also, there was a soft frown etched in between your brows, and there wasn't this soft glow you've always carried in your eyes. Long story short: You looked worn out and stressed, and Harry couldn't really tell if it was because you were sat in the same car as he was, or if it had to do with something else that was going on.

"How're ya?" it slowly got painful to speak, the edible was definitely wearing off now, but Harry still tried. He had missed your voice after all, it didn't matter how cold your tone had become. Just at the mentioning of that Namjoon you had sounded more like the Y/N he knew.

"I've been okay. Had lots of work...different countries and continents. S'been a busy few months." You felt unsure as how to talk to him, of you were fully honest. Should you say that you had absolutely hated working in Malibu since the fight? Should you say that you hadn't slept properly because you hated having fights with friends? Especially close friends? He probably knew anyways. Harry always knew somehow.

"I wont ask you about yourself until your tongue is patched up again, though. So you better shut up Styles." He chuckled softly, and the hint of the old Harry and Y/N relationship seemed to spark up again. The last five or so minutes were spent in silence again, but comfortable this time.

❦

Luckily Harry did not go recognised by anyone else than the Doctor. And the doctor probably only realised fully, because she asked for the name. Harry, still not fully functionable, had then looked over to you, expecting you to do the talking. Which made sense, of course, but truth behold, he had just forgotten his middle and last name. And the address of the place he was staying at (the studios) was completely wiped from his memory. He was lucky you were with him. It also turned out that he had completely bit off a few millimetres of tongue, a clean bite. You had almost gaged at those words and Harry had supressed a grin. It meant that Harry needed no stitches (apparently it was sort of possible to stitch a tongue back together), but daily check-ups and cleaning or cleansing of the mouth was mandatory.

"Check the injurie daily for changes in appearance or feel. Wounds in the mouth that are clean and healthy may appear light pink to white." She had started to almost exclusively talk to you, aware of Harry's partly delirious state, giving you all the information you needed to patch him up a bit. You nodded slowly.

"Alright. Just...how do you cleanse the mouth?" The Doctor gave you a kind smile. "Very easy. Rinse the mouth with a saltwater solution after eating to ease pain and keep the wound clean. That is very important, so the wound doesn't infect. The saltwater solution is just one teaspoon of non-iodized salt mixed in one cup of warm water." You nodded slowly. "One last thing: if the colour of the wound changes, starts bleeding again, swells up or you notice a visible deformity, immediately come back. Also, if the pain intensifies and does not improve within two hours of taking over-the-counter pain medication, such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen, have somebody call us, or better come around. That is all we can do right now."

You were almost happy when you could leave the hospital with him, especially because Harry now grew tired and needy. You weren't sure if the disappearing edible had that effect or if you had just forgotten how clingy Harry could get, but you had troubles getting him to let go of your arm and sit into the car. And your deeply hidden and buried feelings for him slowly made an unwanted comeback, and you were not quite excited for that. You should've known that they would come again, after all, you never really got over him in the first place.

Harry insisted on you staying the night. He blabbed something about risk of getting kidnapped and abused at night alone (not entirely wrong, sadly) and him not letting his friend leave at hours that late and also he apparently needed you if something happened again. He just wouldn't admit that he couldn't let you walk out the door because he feared you wouldn't come back. as if you could just do that after today. But whatever it was, you did stay. In one of the three bedrooms of the Studio you had claimed a bed, and even got some spare clothes for sleep from Claire herself. You had called her, asking for them, as they had all already left.

Just when you thought you were done for the day, teeth brushed and dressed in Claires 1975 shirt size XL, you hear a knock on your door. "Come in?" You knew it was Harry, that wasn't the part that surprised you. the part that surprised you, was that it was Harry with a tray and on that tray were cups and kettle and it smelled like camomile tea and honey. And cookies, with chocolate chips even and some grapes.

"Hi." He just whispered, embarrassment written all over his face. "Hi?" you weren't sure how to react to this but quickly patted on the bed next to you. "Wanna sit down? Or wait, sHit down, as you would say it." He giggled softly, before he nodded and carefully sat down opposite of you, balancing the tray carefully between the two of you.

"I figured it would be better to talk now in peace? If you're up to, f'course." You couldn't help the small smile that crept onto your face. "Shure." You mocked his lisp and he huffed at that, swatting his hand into your direction. "Shtop it really hurt." You just rolled your eyes at him, motioning towards the tray between the two of you. "That's very cute by the way. I love camomile tea with honey." He grinned smugly. "I know." The tea steamed softly when he poured it into the cups, his brows furrowed in concentration to not spill it on the sheets. You watched him with a fond look in your eyes. You hadn't been fully aware of how much you had really missed him in all these months. Right now it felt like the feeling was overwhelming and would crush you out of a sudden.

"Everything a'ight?" Harry's concerned voice ripped you from your thoughts and you blinked quickly. Your eyes had started to water and you looked away embarrassed. "Yeah...guess I just missed you." his eyes immediately went soft, and he set the cups down on the tray.

"I missed ye too." He said, sounding a bit helpless. You cleared your throat, shaking your head quickly.

"Okay so what happened that day; Harry I want to sincerely apologise. What I said went too far." He just smiled softly. "I should've went first. S'my fault after all, let's not beat around the bushes. I am sh-sorry. I shouldn't've said all those things, it was truly horrible. You're not clingy, you don't ever bothered me and also, the men you brought around weren't all dicks. And yes I did ruin it purposely." He couldn't even look at you anymore, shame so obvious in his face and voice and body language. "It's fine...I could've dated anyone anyways that time." You tried softly, swallowing down the "Still can't, believe me, I tried." He just shook his head. "No, really Y/N, that was extremely hurtful and inappropriate and I was the biggest...dick to do all that. I am so sorry. You had all right on earth to walk out like that. and to call me a heartless, self-absorbed douche, I guess I deserved that...that and all the other things you called me." that did make you laugh a bit.

"Arrogant son of a bitch? That one?" he grinned softly. "Exactly that one. I uh, used that, by the way. In a song, I hope you don't mind." Your eyebrows shot up at that. "You called yourself an arrogant son of a bitch?" He nodded sheepishly. "An arrogant shon of a bitch who can't admit that he is shorry, and I quoted that." you laughed now, loudly. "Bit harsh, innit?" he shrugged, coquettishly raising the tea cup to his lips. "Heard it from shomewhere." You just hummed softly, lifting your cup as well.

A deep sigh rose your chest as you looked at him again, that bright flicker in his eyes again, that lopsided smirk he wore so well. You knew that your crush was back on fully, but right now you didn't even minded it. Harry gave you a small smile, the mischief slowly draining from his green eyes. he seemed to catch on to that shift of your emotions and carefully placed his cup down on the tray, before then carefully placing the tray on the floor and opening his arms.

"C'mere?" you did, immediately.

And for the first time in months you could fully relax. Surrounded by Harry's scent in Harry's arm and listening to Harry's heartbeat. Completely absorbed and surrounded by everything you loved. "Sorry." You mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, feeling how his arms tightened around you. "Me too. I fucking misshed you." you chuckled softly. "Misshed you too, shon of a bitch." His laughter sent vibrations through your body.

"About that Korean dude..." Harry suddenly asked, making your peak up to him. "Namjoon? What about him?" he cleared his throat. "Just...did you like, date or something?" you grinned softly.

"Pretty sure he had something going on with a girl the time I was over there. Maybe he still has. Why? You wanna scare him off again?" he just laughed. "I don't do that anymore. I was just...curious you know. You've always had a thing for these Korean men." You grinned softly.

"Are you now talking Stray Kids or Bangtan or EXO or GOT7..." Harry groaned, "so what. You got something to say about that?" he shook his head. "Course not." You hummed. "And what do you mean, I don't do that anymore? Why did you even do it, like in the first place?" Harry sighed very deeply at that.

"I guess because...okay, promise you listen to the end and don't get upset with me too much, yeah?" you frowned, a bit mentally preparing yourself for whatever was about to follow.

"Okay? Promised."

"Alright, now...I think I couldn't just...let you be and date who you want because I am a very selfish person? I know I know, you probably think: but selfish about what and I can only confess...probably you? No, not probably, I am sure." The words were bubbling out of him as if someone flipped a switch and now he couldn't stop anymore. "I couldn't see you date someone else and...give them all of your attention. And I know, I myself was in a relationship during that time, I know, but I just...I can't describe it." Your eyes grew wider and wider with every hasty rambled sentence and your lips were slightly parted. "It was as if was...jealous, which is weird because I wasn't into you then, no offense please, I mean I had a girlfriend..."

"Hold on, what do you mean, wasn't into you then?" you cut him off and Harry literally froze. His eyes went wide with realisation and his mouth opened, as if he would try to reply something; but there was no sound. All he could think of, was one word, all in capital letters and blinking red: fuck.

"I uh, did I say then?" you clicked with your tongue, an amused grin flitting over your face.

"You did." A blush now covered his cheeks and he cleared his throat eagerly. You moved away from his embrace to get a better look at the man sitting in front of you.

"You did say then. Something changed?" your tone was joking but hidden beneath the layers of sarcasm there was a flicker of something else...hope.

"I...I mean I don't...would it be like...do you still feel the same?" you didn't immediately answered, trying to process what you were hearing. After weeks of pinning and then months of not talking at all, he was confessing – or somewhat confessing – that there was a chance that he now actually liked you back? How was that even possible?

Harry however read your silence as something else than confusion and being overwhelmed with the situation. His face fell from nervous to disappointed and hurt, though he tried to mask those emotions quickly. "Which is of course fine and like, obviously you don't, I mean..." he spoke, and it wasn't entirely clear if he was talking to you or himself.

"I didn't even answer H." you mumbled, tilting your head. "Of course you di- wait what do you mean?" there was this same spark of hope in his voice as there had been in your voice. "If I told you, that nothing changed, what would that mean?" you breathed after a second of hesitation and staring into his wide eyes, filled with fear, nervousness, hope and...vulnerability. At your words there was a small smile that started to tug on his lips, like a light igniting his eyes.

"It would mean that I...uhm, I would then shoot my shot?" you couldn't help it.

"Was that hard to say?" he blinked confused. "Shoot your shot..." you teased and he groaned loudly. "Oh hush, you are unbearable." You giggled, winking obnoxiously. "You decided to eat those edibles. Also, I am worth a shot, no?" he huffed, leaping forwards to pull you back into his arms. "Oh definitely..." you grinned up at him before your breath hitched in your throat at the realisation of his sudden closeness. Eyes flickering to his lips you just waited. But when he leaned in you cleared you throat softly, making him halt. "Before you do that...just please tell me why now." He never moved back just pressed his lips together for a second, thinking of the right choice of words. "In those month where we didn't talk, I had a lot, and I mean a lot of time to think and reflect about the whole situation. About you, about how I felt about you and your partners, how your confession had changed the way I saw or felt certain things...also, Jeff's talked a lot with me about it. The fight and stuff. And then when I saw you again I just...knew? I don't know..." you cut him off with a short nod.

"Okay that's good, now kiss me please." He just laughed before finally, finally closing the gap between the two of you.

And your lips on his made him feel better, lighter and higher than any fucking edible could've ever made him feel.

here are flowers for u, if u rly read this ily 💐💐💐

➳m.list ➳h.s. m.list ➳wattpad

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leoasters-blog · 5 years

Text

henlo my peaches !! i’m zy (she/her/hers), i’m an unrepentant aquarius, i’m actually moving back to dtla in like a month lol, and i’m super excited to be here !! i’ll be playing my bby boy leo, who’s kind of a loser a sweet summer child. pls treat him kindly !! or not LMAO. i’ve included a bit about him below the jump to help ur muse decide which they’d prefer. that said, my inbox/d*scord is always open, and if u drop a lil ol’ like on this i’ll hop in urs !!

* ☆ ·˚ 「 ryan potter. cismale. he/him. 」 — oh, you mean leo aster, the twenty two year-old translator? they’ve been around the fold for seven months. i know they’re a sagittarius and when i see them, i can’t help but think of scuffed converse tapping on concrete, clacking joysticks, & a steaming drink in a chipped mug. but you’ll get to make your own judgement soon!

background

hailing from tokyo, japan, leo was born to a prominent businessman and the manager of an international hotel chain. he lived an incredibly privileged life, but with that privilege came a stringent set of expectations that covered basically every aspect of leo’s life, from his future to his hobbies to his friends. leo’s life was planned to follow a tidy trajectory: he’d succeed academically, attend a prestigious university, then return to take over his father’s business.

leo was an incredibly fortunate kid, for innumerable reasons. he never wanted for anything (physically, at least), and was given the best of the best - with the expectation that he would reflect his means, of course. but he also never really had a childhood. his parents treated him more like a successor than a son, to put it generously. there was no love in leo’s childhood home; his mother spent most of her time traveling to the various resort properties she managed, and his father, in his loneliness, found refuge in another woman. they were, for all intents and purposes, a farce of a family. but that was all leo knew.

but it isn’t until college that the plot begins to thicken. leo attended the university of southern california, and man. america was an eye opener for him.

for the first time, he was able to explore life beyond his parents’ domineering control. he could try out new interests - like the video games his freshman year roommate was really into - and speak to new people - like people who pursued higher-risk occupations for the love, not the money. leo fell in love with writing poetry, and had the opportunity to do the stupid things that his parents disapproved of - like writing dumb raps, for one. he kissed people. he found something like a family. this really strained his relationship with his parents, a complication exacerbated by certain developments back home: namely, increased pressure caused by the rollout of an ambitious expansion plan for the company.

leo graduated college with one conviction: fuck the trajectory. leo’s life in america was the first thing he actually built for himself (kinda, mostly, if u ignore the fact that his family bankrolled his education LMAO) and he wasn’t ready to give it up. he’d been given a taste of freedom, and he wasn’t gonna let it go.

now

leo’s been,, making it work, surprisingly. his parents have threatened to cut him off if he doesn’t return to japan at the end of the year, but joke’s on them - his current job, translating japanese video games into english for a fairly prolific studio, sponsors his visa and pays him well enough to survive in los angeles, albeit much more frugally than he’s used to. he knows that he’s being humored, that they’re waiting for him to live out his rebellious phase and go home. but he knows for a fact that he’d rather exist in a perpetual cycle of existential doubt than return to the misery that’s his life in japan.

seriously, his entire post-grad life has been dedicated to “finding himself,” usually through increasingly ridiculous hobbies. some highlights have included photography (not terrible), glassblowing (absolutely disastrous), dj-ing (the less said, the better), yoga (surprisingly successful), and pottery (consistently lopsided, but not altogether hideous). the one thing he always comes back to, though, is spoken word and rap - the latter of which he releases online to a small but actually existent following.

his deposit for his room in the fold was the first purchase he made on his own!! he appreciates the social nature of co-living. it’s interesting, because leo is one of the most outgoing residents of the complex, but also one of the most notoriously private. he’s made it a point to share very little about his personal life and history, deflecting any genuine attempts to get to know him with some well-timed hijinks.

etc.

leo’s birth name is uotani ryousei. leo is the americanized pronunciation of his childhood nickname, ryou, and aster is his mother’s maiden name. he started going by leo when he moved to the states for college, and started using aster when he decided to pursue full financial independence.

leo’s rap name is leo astra, bc he thinks he’s witty. i hc his vc as rich brian,, so,, yea lmao.

his mbti is entp and his alignment is chaotic good!

he is somewhat allergic to cats but loves them regardless.

he’s decidedly a night owl. his favorite place to think is the roof at night.

canonically has ryan potter’s long hair. it’s an attempt to look his age. does it work?? u be the judge !! lmfao

wc / potential plots

a confidant - someone who leo’s told his story to. maybe they’re a good friend, but maybe it’s someone who stumbled on leo smoking on the roof at ass o’ clock in the morning, more pensive than they’ve ever seen him, and who wrangled the full story out of him.

kitchen confidential - the unfortunate soul who’s run into leo attempting to set the building on fire cook. maybe they’re a good cook doing their civic duty and teaching the poor boy to not burn down the complex, or maybe they’re equally inept and figure that two heads will be better than one. either way, they’re gonna cook together !!!!

eternal rival - someone to assist leo in commandeering the second floor tv to play smash for hours with.

other ppl in the music scene?? particularly in the rnb/hip hop sphere, extra brownie points if they regularly go to events like brownies and lemonade or 143!!

lovers?? ex-lovers??? honestly if u’ve hooked up with leo i guarantee there’s a 99.99998% he still has a lil bit of a puppy crush on u.

co-commuters?? leo works in santa monica but lives in dtla like a Fewl so if ur muse also takes the expo line every day they probably Suffer Together

college friends!! - these people are leo’s rock, and the first family he’s ever truly known. bffls they 100% have matching engraved flasks.

dfs;adkfjg;sh coming up with wcs is Difficult let’s just plot collaboratively !!!

das it ily sorry this was A Lot ty for reading this far lol

#foldintro #✧ HEADCANON //

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buckywintersoldierbarnes2017 · 7 years

Text

A Hidden Pain - Part 9

Original request from anon: Could you please write a Bucky x reader where she works as the teams assistant? She’s got a violent bf but no one knows about it until he assaults her at one of Starks parties. Bucky steps in and kicks his ass. He helps her move out of her place to live with him since he’s got his own floor at the tower.

Note: Thank you to the amazing @buckysmetal-arm for being my beta on this! Bless her for reading through soooooo many words! I definitely got carried away with this particular chapter. I am loving this story so much I really don’t want it to end anytime soon! :’( Bucky x Abused!Reader (Steve x Reader) Words: 3,462 (#sorrynotsorry!) Warnings: Drunken behaviour, language, angst, upset, mentions of injury and abuse .....think that’s pretty much it really for this chapter. Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their wonderful reators <3

A Hidden Pain Masterlist

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

“That is completely unfair Steve!” Your voice rings out around the research facility as you throw a fistful of paper money at the blonde sat across from you. An action of which was met with a satisfied laugh from him. “Not only have you bought the two most expensive places on the board but you’ve now put hotels on them?! No wonder Bucky always told me never to play this game with you.”

“That’s because Buck has always been a sore loser and doesn’t like the fact that I can well and truly kick his arse in this game.” He counted each and every note you had just handed to him almost as though he was making sure you weren’t trying to con him, a shit-eating grin that Bucky would have been proud of stretching from one ear to the other. “…and by the current pout you’re throwing my way I am beginning to think that you two have even more in common with each other.”

A glare was the next thing to be thrown in his direction as you folded your arms across your chest in a huff and turned your attention to the capsule that was standing not too far from where you were sat.

“I hope you’re listening to this Bucky. When you wake up I think it’s about time we dial down Captain America’s ego here.”

There was a playful smile spreading across your lips but the one that had been decorating Steve’s soon faded as he watched you speaking to his best friend. The thin lies appearing on his forehead showed the concern he was currently feeling towards you.

“[y/n]….”

You hate that tone, you had heard it more than once, and so immediately you roll your eyes before turning to look at him.

“Don’t.”

It’s the only word that leaves your lips but it is all you feel you need to say to him because you knew exactly where he was about to take this conversation and you didn’t want to hear it.

“It’s been over a year and they are still no closer to finding a way to wipe those words from his mind. You can’t stay down here any longer.”

You run your tongue along your cheeks and gum, holding back the annoyance you felt at his words, and stood yourself up from the table. He should know by now that you didn’t care whether it took another ten or twenty years you were going to stay down here until he woke up. You had failed him once before and you were damned if you were going to do that to him again.

Steve stood himself up not long after you and his hand reached out to grip your arm before you tried to move further away from him. As you looked into those blue eyes of his you did so with such intensity that you actually realised there was the smallest hint of green inside of them….you had never noticed that trait of his before.

“I know you don’t want to hear it but what kind of life are you really living down here? In fact….when was the last time you went out and got something as simple as some fresh air?”

It was a simple enough question but he knew it was one you couldn’t answer. You hadn’t been on any other level of the tower since finding out Bucky was down here; all your rehabilitation from the injuries you had suffered had been done here, your work was always delivered by either Vision or Steve, and the research team had even transformed a store cupboard close to the capsule into a room so that you had somewhere to sleep. You no longer rented your apartment so this was now your home.

“I’m fine here Steve. I get regular exercises, the research team make sure I am okay, and I still get all my work done and more.” You look at your hands as they come to rest on the door of Bucky’s capsule and your eyes close as you rest your forehead against it. “He was always there for me…..I can’t let him down now Steve. There’s nothing for me outside th0se doors. Not anymore.”

THREE YEARS AGO.

You were stood outside Bucky’s room door and the amount of time you spent standing there your intense stare could have burnt right through the steel. If Josh ever found out you were here, especially outside this particular door, there would be hell to pay….more so than you had already experienced tonight back at home.

No. You shouldn’t be here at all.

Turning on the balls of your feet you were more than ready to just walk away right now and just deal with whatever mood your boyfriend would be in when you got back home but you head the door to his room and before you could go anywhere you found yourself face to face with him…..a little TOO face to face given that the tips of your noses were pretty much brushing across one another’s.

“[y/n]? What are yo-“ His blue eyes look down towards your hand and spots the two metal spoons along with the tub of ice cream and the perplexed expression that had once been on his face softened to a more worried one. “Another fight with Josh?”

You nod silently before showing him the flavour of the ice cream you had picked up from the store.

“Its peanut butter cup…..our favourite.”

You smile as much as you can despite the horrendous night you’d had and within seconds you felt his flesh hand taking hold of your free one and pulling you into his room. It didn’t matter to him that he was about to go to the gym and have a workout, vent the frustration he was feeling from the nightmares he’d had the previous night, because you needed his attention and in his eyes you were far more important than the need to go to the gym.

“Well I guess since you have brought our favourite I can hardly kick you to the curb can I?” He threw you a playful wink before pulling you down onto the couch in his room to sit next to him. As you fell down onto the dark grey cushions a grimace crossed your face. To anyone else they probably wouldn’t have noticed but Bucky’s caring eyes had been on you the whole time so he saw the whole thing. “You okay [y/n]?”

“Other than causing yet another fight? Yeah….I guess.”

There was a hint of hesitance in the undertone of your words and immediately he took the ice cream and spoons from your grip and placed them onto the floor as he took both your hands in his. You had known him for over a year now and still the feeling of both hot and cold when you had your hands in his took you by surprise, causing your breath to catch inside your throat. Your eyes glanced down to his metal hand, the one that he had been so scared of having anywhere near you when you had first met, and yet now he was comfortable enough to use it to show his concern for you.

“Don’t hate me for asking you this doll but did he…..” Your heart raced during his short pause as he contemplated whether he should be asking you this or not because you knew EXACTLY what he was going to ask you. “…hurt you?”

Great. Now you were going to have to risk your friendship by lying to him.

“Oh you mean because of that wince?” You had been doing this for years now, covering up what Josh does to you when he is angry, so the whole act comes like second nature to you. “Stop panicking….I was so angry and upset as I was leaving the house that I walked into the front door okay?”

You noticed his brow raising and the expression on his face that silently said ‘seriously?’ and immediately you threw his own expression back at him.

“Yes. Seriously Bucky. So you can stop looking at me like that. Especially given that you walked right into the fridge the other day.”

“I’m hurt that, as a good friend, you would make me remember that.”

Almost as though you were attuned to one another the corners of your lips tugged up into a playful smirk thrown in the others direction before he launched his metal arm towards the ticklish spot near your hip. A scream erupted from you as you fell back on the sofa, your foot kicking the tub of ice cream over as Bucky hovered his broad frame over you, his hand was mercilessly attacking your hip and you had to hold back the winces of pain each time he hit the bloodied bruise covering it.

Then as quickly as he had started the attack he stopped but remained over you as his metal fingers moved up to your hair and started to gently play with the locks of your [h/c] hair.

“You know that I would protect you right?”

“Well I would hope so given that’s what The Aven-“

“I don’t mean because it’s my job. I care about you [y/n] and if I was to find out that anyone had hurt you or so much as even tried to…”

You felt the grip of his metal fingers tightening on the locks of your hair as a darkness flashed in the eyes that were boring into yours. Not wanting him to lose yourself you removed his fingers and intertwined them with yours.

“I know Bucky. Thank you. But don’t ever lose who you are just for me. I’m not worth it. Now however much I love soppy moments I am kinda wanting to eat that ice cream before it becomes completely liquefied.”

“Fuck, sorry!”

He scrambled off you, rather clumsily to say the least, and reached out for the frozen treat you had brought around. Had you not been so focused on the new pain radiating from your injured side you might have caught a glimpse of the super soldier’s cheeks blushing a deep crimson colour.

“I know you don’t have Buck right now [y/n] but there is still a lot here for you.” By the tone in his voice it was clear that your words had hit him harder than you had meant for them to but before you could turn to apologise to him you find him standing by your side as a hand came to rest on your shoulder. “You’ve got me for a start. I care for you and, actually, I would consider you my family just as much as I would Buck.”

“Really?”

You and Steve had always been close and until Bucky had appeared in your life he had been the closest friend you had here but you hadn’t once thought he would see you as family. It truly warmed your heart to hear him say that and despite the immense sadness that consumed you on a daily basis it was enough to bring a genuinely grateful smile to your lips as you rested your head onto his shoulder.

“Really.” His hand fell from your shoulder and came to rest on your waist instead as he pulled you into him more. “Which is why if you’re going to continue to be stubborn and not leave this room to socialise then I am going to bring the socialising to you.”

A childish groan leaves your lips as you roll your eyes, a reaction that amuses Steve far more than it should have done.

“Oh good god Rogers what have you done?”

“That’s Captain Rogers to you grumpy pants. Now just go and freshen yourself up. I will be back with you soon.”

You didn’t move right away, your eyes having narrowed to look at your friend in a rather suspicious manner, but when you felt his hand playfully hitting your arse you yelped out and pushed him away with a smile.

“You are going to pay for that.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…..I know that’s just an empty threat. Be ready in an hour!”

He left the room before you had a chance to send a snarky remark his way and when you were in the room with just Bucky you glanced over to him with a slight pout on your face.

“Now I can see why you call him ‘punk’ …..I am so making a tally chart of how many times you need to punch him in the arm when you are awake again by the way.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The room that even on a busy day would only be home to five people at the most now seemed to be fit to burst with the people Steve had invited down to this little makeshift party. You still couldn’t believe he had done this, you had never been a party person because with Josh as a boyfriend he’d never allowed you to……so if this was his way of making you feel better or more at ease about things it wasn’t working.

“[y/n]! Beautiful, gorgeous, sexy [y/n]!” Right on cue to make you realise this night actually was capable of getting worse was a rather intoxicated Tony Stark. “How’s the icicle doing today?” He wrapped an arm around your shoulder pulling you into him with such force that you almost spilled your entire drink on the floor but it didn’t seem to faze him at all.

“Bucky is fine. Thank you for asking.”

There is a bitterness to your tone that even someone as drunk as Tony could sense and within seconds his arm had been removed from around you and he backed away with both hands in the air as though he was silently surrendering. Throwing back the entire glass of champagne you had in your hand you quickly reached for another…..you were going to need a serious amount of alcohol to get through this night.

“That’s more like it [y/n]! I knew there was a party girl inside of you somewhere!”

Natasha made her way over to you with a rather sheepish looking Wanda at her side and although you were hardly in the ‘party’ mood you’d never had anything against the girls and so you greeted them both with a hug. More than grateful to see them.

“Hey you two. It’s great seeing you! I have seriously missed having some girly company.”

“Don’t you worry….we’re invading your peace down here tomorrow for a girly night so be prepared!”

The redhead’s voice seemed to get louder and louder as her excitement grew and eventually you just found yourself laughing out loud as Wanda threw you an apologetic look and pulled her away.

“I will go get this rowdy one another drink. We will speak to you in a bit.”

Rolling your eyes you down your second glass of champagne; shortly followed by a third when Sam came over and started throwing the usual digs towards Bucky around and then a fourth when Scott tried to shrink himself to show off to a couple of girls only to fuck it up royally and end up falling backwards into the capsule holding the man you loved.

Luckily Steve was there to chuck him out of the room quickly enough to stop you from going over to him yourself. Given the headache that was beginning to it you that was more than just luck. This is why after over a year of not drinking you shouldn’t down so many glasses in quick procession….something which you were regretting rather badly.

“I knew I should have kept an eye on you….how much have you drunk?”

Your vision was betraying you right now offering you nothing more than some blurry lines but the voice was recognisable as Steve’s instantly. Instead of responding to him with some kind of remark to feign soberness a giddy laugh rolled from your lips instead….and it wasn’t one that only lasted for mere seconds either. It went on, and on, and on until there really was a look of concern etching across his handsome face.

“I dunno bu-but….” Clearing your throat as a wave of nausea hits you your words only stop for a few seconds before start again. “…certainly more than you granddad! Y-You organised this….you should be having fun too!”

In your intoxicated state you hadn’t even noticed that he had been leading you into your makeshift room, not until you felt the backs of your legs hitting the end of it as he sat you down.

“Well someone needed to look after you didn’t they? Bucky would kick my arse into the other side of next year if he ever found out I just left you to your own devices when you were drunk.”

“You…..Captain Rogers….” Your hand clumsily cups his chin as you move him to look at you. “…are spectacularly wonderful! I-If I didn....” A dry hiccup hit your throat at that point and you held up a finger to signal for him to wait a moment as he simply looked at you with an amused expression. “If I wasn’t hopelessly in love with your best friend I would totally have kissed you right now.”

He stood himself up at that point, shaking his head as a boyish laugh sounded out from him, and as he turned to your chest of drawers to grab some pyjamas he made a mental note to himself that he needed to loosen you up on more occasions because you were highly entertaining.

“Now I know you are stupidly drunk so ho-“

He turned back to face you only to see that you had curled up onto your bed in a foetal position and were now fast asleep. A soft smile crept onto his face as he carefully crawled along the bed and nestled himself beside you, an arm protectively holding you close to him as he soon drifted off himself.

* * * * * * * * * *

A pained groan left you long before you were able to force your eyes open….your eyes that felt like they had two lead weights attached to them. You had never been hit by a truck before, or even a car for that matter, but as you dragged your hungover self out of your bed you were pretty damn sure that this must have been a good representation of how it felt.

“Never….drinking….again…..”

You mutter the words underneath your breath as you claw through the darkness that envelops your windowless room until you feel the cold metal of the door handle underneath your fingertips. Your throat feels drier than the Sahara Desert right now and the only thing that was going to stop you from barfing there and then is an ice cold glass of water. In your tired daze you didn’t even notice the fact that Steve had been beside you in your bed.

The bright light of the research room not only blinded you, causing you to squint in an attempt to protect your reddened eyes, but probably also illuminated to anyone in the room just how awful a state you were in right now; hair looking like you had been dragged through a hedge backwards, dress from the night before still on, and no doubt your make up had run a little too…..oh the research team were going to just love you today.

“Doll?”

Your attempts at walking stopped as your entire body seemed to just freeze on the spot that voice….it had only been heard in your dreams for so long and yet now it sounded like it was in the very same room as you. Rather reluctantly, thanks to the ridiculously bright lights of the room, you opened your eyes only to be met with a certain brunette looking at you from one of the medical tables.

“B-Buck?”

The calling of his name came out more like an anguished cry as a whole onslaught of emotions hit you at that moment your mind not knowing whether to have your body running over to him or simply falling to the floor. A decision he seemed to be making for you as he climbed down from the table; but before he had even taken his first step towards you the look on his face changed from one of delight to one of pure confusion.

“Steve?”

“What?”

His confusion must have been catching because your brows were furrowed now too and as you followed his line of sight you were taken aback completely when you saw Steve stood behind you……coming out of your room.

“Exactly how long have I been fucking out for?!”

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zeldaismyhomegirl · 7 years

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Cat’s Masterlist of Recs Part 2

Another week, another long, long list of recs! I’ve discovered so many gems in the past couple of days and I can’t wait to share them with you so you can go and love them too ^.^

caidy:

Gold Plate (translated into English by amanuensis)- Then he adds, “We broke up yesterday.” Mila chokes on her coffee, and in a moment of childish cruelty, he smiles.“What?” she says, wincing. “Wait, yesterday?” Yuri shrugs. He thinks he should probably be sad, but he isn’t. Maybe because it was mostly his decision.“What happened?” “Nothing special. We had eleven great years.” He’d be lying to deny it, he thinks. “But we reached the end of our relationship,” he adds. “That’s all. We agreed it was time to end it.”

(I stumbled across this accidentally and have not stopped thinking about it since. Beautiful. So beautiful. I want this fic engraved onto my tombstone.)

@blownwish-blog :

Bizarre Love Triangle- Yuri Plisetsky met them both on his knees in the boys' room. One would stay, the other could not. America was one fucked up country.(The 80s high school au you didn't ask for.)

(I can’t believe I hadn’t read this before this week, but this has got to be the best damn Otapliroy I’ve ever read- so so good! The setting was incredible, the feelings, the details. Just incredible.)

magicalyoyo:

A Heart Beats At Night- A lone figure ran along the sidewalk. Otabek would have mistaken him for a motivated jogger, if not for the sinewy, fluid movements and familiar figure. He jerked his bike over, skidding to a halt in front of the runner.Otabek’s heart was pounding a sickening, dizzying rhythm, but he schooled his face into stoicism as he pulled his helmet off to get a better look.“Yuri Plisetsky died two years ago,” he growled. “What the hell are you?”

(I’ve been reading this for months now and after a certain development in today’s chapter just had to kinda shout about my love for it. It’s paranormal au. I’m not gonna lie, that put me off reading it for MONTHS but PLEASE PLEASE don’t let this disaude you as althought it’s definitely a plot line, it’s not the cominating factor of the story, not by a long shot. It’s got angst, the most beautifully written plot and descriptions, love, affection. @ded-i-am-just-ded I’m actually just gonna rec this to you straight up right here right now so you can cry with me because I’m sure you’ll love it like I do.)

@phaytesworld :

Yuri!!! On Circus- Yuri!!! on Circus! In this AU you will have Victor as an albino, Yuuri a contortionist, Yuri the cat boy, Otabek a giant mute, Georgi the Fortuneteller. The cast will all be acts with in the circus. We will follow as Leo has run away with the circus, different acts, troubles and just in general the circus life set in early 1900's.

Hung- Prompt - Imagine what the fandom would be like if Yuri was the one with 19 cm... I might have made him larger......

Sand and Salt- Summer romances are always the best. Guang Hong, local surfer kid at the beach falls for the lifeguard in town for the summer.

(She’s done it again. My eyes have been opened to the beauty of LeoJi, Hung Yuri and fucking fortune teller Georgi because YES I live for that. Phayte is a miracle worker with words and imagination- I can barely keep up with everything she writes, I honestly have no idea how she does it!)

@the-stoned-ranger

Only Losers Go To School- When Otabek Altin's employer discovers his diploma is fake, he loses his job as a pharmacist and enrolls in Detroit Community College. Forced to take an advanced-level French literature class taught by the deranged Monsieur Lee, Otabek starts a study group in order to impress his crush and makes the friends he never knew he wanted in the process.Yuri Plisetsky is the pint-sized art student with the brilliant wit and bad attitude who immediately captures Otabek's attention. Though Yuri rejects Otabek's advances at their first meeting, together they survive a French professor obsessed with ennui, a psychology professor fixated on sex, and study group shenanigans. As the semester progresses, Yuri and Otabek slowly draw closer. Are they really just friends, or could they be something more?

Eat Your Heart Out, Adonis- The year is 2021. The Beijing Winter Olympics are just around the corner, and Yuri Plisetsky is forced to take a break from skating in order to recover from an ankle injury. His friend Otabek comes to Russia to keep him company during his time off the ice. UST follows.

(I love me some good goddamn unresolved sexual tension and beautifully written smut! I would read anything they threw at me, I’m not going to lie- everything is just so well crafted and feels so realistic. I especially love in Only Losers the whole psychology paper and getting those little glimpses into the other characters and their sexual personalities- so so clever!!!!)

@onotherflights

Almaty’s Fire- They were like the lost boys, and of course Otabek was Peter. Yuri was fine with being Wendy if it meant he got to keep the thimble at the end of everything, when the sirens would be drowned out by the sounds of drums and the blue and red lights would flash something gorgeous against his skin.

Or; The lead singer is supposed to have a ton of groupies. Otabek only has the one.

Start of Everything- He didn't realize someone could fall in love with their best friend, but watching Yuri light a sparkler and chase the other Yuuri around his own garden made something click. The way he threw his head back in laughter, his hair and his face equally lit in the golden twilight. It was just a little ache in his heart, something he hadn't felt before. It confused him, made him furrow his brows together.

Or; Otabek has tried really hard to be good enough for everyone in his life, but Yuri is easy to please.

(I’m so happy I stumbled back upon these works- I remember reading the first chapters of both way back before I even had an ao3 account (which isn’t even that long ago lol) and being absolutely blown away with how well they are written. Especially in Start of Everything- the way Beka’s feelings and anxieties are presented- gosh it felt so so real)

@doitforthefics :

The Law of Life- By nineteen Yuri Plisetsky thinks he's got his life figured out. He's one of Russia's top male skaters and will defend his title tooth and claw.Then Otabek, Yuri's best friend or boyfriend - he's not quite sure what the hell they are - hits him with an actual sledge hammer; he's leaving the ice to become a professional DJ.Yuri comes to realise then that he, in fact, has nothing figured out at all. With his support system screwed up, he finds himself sucked into a world where sincerity is superficial, and vindictiveness cuts twice as deep.

(I know there can be a lot of schtick with A/B/O but this one is amazing. There is undeniable sexual tension between Beka and Yuri in this that makes me want to scream, and the fact that there’s still so many chapters to come makes me so happy ^.*)

JBankai89:

Lost in the Sound of Separation- Following the Grand Prix Final in Barcelona, Yuri Plisetsky disappears. Only Otabek seems to be concerned about him, while his friends and family seem to care little about where he may have gone.Two years later, Otabek has moved from his home rink to one in a small college town in Québec, Canada, and a late-night stop at a nearby convenience store proves to be the small rocks that start an avalanche.Everything was about to change.

(Another A/B/O, albeit this one is much much darker, so please be aware of the tags. I love how this is from Beka’s point of view showing his struggles with Yuri’s absence, and then reappearance in his life.)

vivevoce:

what did you expect- At some point, Yuri makes the Best Decision/Worst Mistake of his young life in befriending the flaming trainwreck that is Otabek Altin. He can't quite bring himself to regret it, so he decides on enjoying the ride and Not Screwing Things Up.

(I love this so so much! I’m not sure what you’d classify this au under, neighbours? Friends to lovers? But again it focuses on Beka’s struggles with being an ignored only child, and how he deals with it. It’s definitely bittersweet and although it hasn’t been updated in a while, I highly recommend the read!)

@cashryley :

Prima’s Pleasures- Having almost everything he could possibly want, a very wealthy Otabek Altin decides to do something he's never done before: hire an escort.

(Okay this is so so good! The last update has left me on the edge of my seat because there’s so much developing between Beka and Yuri, there’s been shifts that I can’t wait to read more about! And Yuri as a protective cat mom with the tiger lillies made me smile like fucking crazy!)

Faylette:

This Man Is Mine- Yuri Plisetsky is over people thinking he's girly. At least, he thinks he's over it, until he sees people react to his relationship with Otabek Altin. But he'll keep telling himself he's over it. He can keep this up. Who cares what they think?Yuri. The answer is Yuri cares.

(this is one of the first fics I ever came across on ao3, back when the first chapter came out in Feb. I was hooked instantly. I think by now people know I’m a sucker for insecurites and this shows Yuri’s and how eventually he comes to terms with it so well. Plus, the smut is hot (; )

@ded-i-am-just-ded

Dead Air- You looked me in the eye and lied.

(Mind the tags again! But it looks like the angst off has begun (; If you want a guaranteed cry go and check this out!)

@theinsanefox :

The Drabble Chronicles- A series of drabbles focused mainly on Otayuri, but could also eventually include other pairings from YOI

(There’s some light hearted fluff, there’s some angst that’ll make you cry, but my love’s drabbles are so good and will make you smile ^.*)

@aphhun :

we just need a human touch- What happens on a tour stop in Almaty will stay in Almaty. Well — probably.

“Give me your phone,” was the next thing out of his mouth, and Yuri found himself near squinting at the other.

“What?”

“Your phone. I’m going to give you my number,” persisted the DJ, and if Yuri had been more devoted to getting drunk earlier on in the evening, he knew that he would have handed it over without a second thought or a question. Sober Yuri, however, was more rational and undoubtedly skeptical.

“You literally don’t even know my name."

(Oh my god, I love love love this DJ/Dancer AU so much. I just went back to reread it and I fell in love all over again!)

@aftgonice:

Not a random one- He found that those fluffy and sweet fan fictions were starting not to be enough anymore. His feelings for Otabek weren’t of the innocent type, and while he was already used to fantasize about them, he’d gotten so used to actually reading that one day he just slipped. He found a pretty vanilla one, and promised himself that it would be enough. It was a one time thing, it had to be. It wasn’t.

(this is so creative, such a great format and an original idea! It’s fluffly as well as smutty- just perfect!)

Right, now I need to go back to planning chapter 11 of Just a Spark and actually writing chapter 3 of Summer On Your Skin. I said I was taking the weekend off, but there’s only so much binge watching of OITNB I can do before actually working on my own fics xD Have a lovely week everyone!

#cat recommends #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #Yuri on ice #yoi #go spread some love!

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trebaolsmovingcastle · 7 years

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theatomscombined

What are some examples of things that could happen in order for Trump to actually get what he deserves? Because so far he seems to be impervious to consequences. And could it happen in such a way that his dumb ass followers would actually see him for what he really is?

So, here’s a topic I’ve been thinking about. I’m a pretty alright judge of behavior and what makes a person go from point A-B. So I too have been wondering when the Trump circus would crash and burn...because it’s kinda doing some serious harm to the nation.

Sadly you won't like my assessment, but take heart, because predictions are almost always wrong, meaning any of the things I don’t mention could also happen.

So. The problem is currently you need a crime, like a big crime, like obstruction of justice or treason. But it’s not enough to have a crime, you need political willpower. Let’s say you get a case going that is substantial enough that you need that last step of conviction. You have a video of Trump holding a gun to Comey’s balls saying ‘LOYALTY OR YOUR NUTS GET IT!’ but now you need congress and the senate to basically hold the trial. The legislative trial is what finalizes the process, it says that the government has seen the evidence presented and has tried against the President finding them wanting.

So, you don’t need a simply majority of the Senate to agree to this, you need like a super majority, so like 60+ people agreeing that the President is unfit for office.

The GOP would rather cut off its own hands than ever agree to try and convict their leader, whether they like him or not.

Plus there is a war in the Republican party, between your old school GOP members who, mummy like, moulder quietly in their seats for 30 or 40 years, doing little nudges here and there to fleece the poor, longing for the good ol’ days when there was more ‘civility’ between the members. Then there’s the Tea Party fuckers from the Freedom Caucus. They were a bunch of wild eyed goofballs empowered by the coocoocachoo rhetoric the Clinton years bred in the party. I remember when they were regarded as the whackadoodle conclusion of the GOP, a bunch of dudes who didn’t care about government, wanted it all dismantled and didn’t just want to fleece the poor but wanted a return to gilded age laissez faire. These two sides don’t get along clearly.

But now we have MAGA Trump voters, a pernicious base who are even more looney, because they have the stubborness of the Freedom Caucus, but they also want really really nasty laws that infringe on individual freedoms of target groups, which the Freedom Caucus hates because...no government, thus no interference, and the old school republicans don’t like because they’re from seats in areas where they soak up some moderate votes.

Anyway, you’ve noticed by now that nothing has gotten done, because none of these groups policy wise actually match up, and each of them is basically tied to a base who will eat them alive if they give any ground...even to portions of their own party.

So, Trump is poised at the head of a dysfunctional party that can only agree to one thing, keeping him no matter what, because the alternative is going to their base and saying ‘we sold out your candidate who voiced all those nasty things you always wanted a politician to say.’ Even richer is that after Trump is gone we’ll get Trump style candidates trying to fill his shoes, we’ll have a wing of the republican party basically for ultra nationalists practicing a kind of American fascism.

So, do not expect an impeachment trial, it won't happen on even the best of days, even if the Democrats win a ton of seats it won't happen. Do not even expect a resignation under threat of impeachment, I seriously doubt the GOP has the guts to threaten Trump with anything so long as the loud and rabid MAGA crowd are out there talking about gutting the country if they don’t get their rapist president and their wall to fight terrorists with.

Hooooowever. Trump hates his job. Hates it, it’s not a good place for him. This goes even past his scared looked after he won, this is a deep seated conflict in his character. He liked being a shitty real estate mogul and reality TV personality. There were fringe benefits. Nobody looks so closely at you when you’re getting golden showers in St. Petersburg when all you’re doing is trying to get a hotel built. When some snot nosed journalist writes an article calling you a dirtbag, you throw a few million dollars into a libel suit and try to ruin them. You pick who you hear from, when, you get to be king, and you get all those perks.

As President you’re constantly being criticized, threatened, cajoled, your own advisors are always seeming to try to pull one over on you. You get your hand slapped away by your wife and it goes viral. She does that all the time anyway, but you never had to have the country laugh at you over it. In private he’s apparently said he doesn’t like this job, he doesn’t like the hours, the living quarters, the experience, the responsibility. He wants to go home, but he is acutely aware that only one other President has resigned, and as his personal brand is built on ‘winning’ declaring yourself a loser and quitting is like a kind of death.

But he’s not made of deep convictions, he just needs to work out in his head a way out that preserves his imagined dignity, and does not make him a loser. Some way out, that puts him back in the tower, where his base will cheer and buy steaks and stay at hotels he has and kiss his ass, and where the rest of us will finally leave him to go back to being off our radar. He literally can’t last, it’s too miserable, and he’s a man who’s lived for his own pleasure for decades, he’s not the kind of guy who will shoulder burdens for the sake of his image of tapping out will get him laid and no one will try and sue him and win over it.

There of course are other possibilities. He dies. I seriously doubt anyone could ever harm a hair on his head, the secret service are legit and outside of a few apparently well armed Bernie Bros the left is more about punching actual nazis then going off the rails and obliterating their entire political spectrums credibility. However he is old as balls, and when last I checked, he got his clean bill of health from his personal physician who basically gives him medication for high blood pressure, cholesterol, and stuff for hair loss. To my knowledge he hasn’t been seen by any white house doctors, and if they were particularly invasive or concerned they’d be on top of his health, and he’d consider that an invasion of his space and he’d probably have complained about them harassing him by now. Meaning we have an old dude on medication for cholesterol and high BP, who eats like shit, and used to never have to climb stairs ever, being constantly harassed at all hours, and fuming in ways he never had to fume before. You saw how the Presidency ages normal people, even not brilliant normal people. Now you have Trump being heckled day in and out and fuming about, he’s gonna give himself a dang ol’ heart attack, and there’s only so much a doctor can do when that happens to you if you’ve been doing fuck all for your body. Frankly that’s how you resign, when your health is so bad it will kill you to stay.

So expect him to kick around until he can find a reasonable time and place for himself to cut and run, or he croaks. What will be interesting is the circus after he leaves, because lets say the expectation or even the reveal is that Mueller calls for an impeachment trial over collusion, or even obstruction, or both. Suddenly your whole government is tied up with you, who even if a trial never happens are potentially put there by someone who ‘colluded’ with a foreign power. You can’t keep them, so expect the government to get shaken up. Hell, Pence may not even slip through this, but on the other side expect this level of dysfunction to continue, because there is no one you can put in that office, who will be able to get these three branches of the GOP to agree on any of the big stuff.

As for whether his base will ever ‘see him for what he is’ well they do, they see him for what he is, an everyman Joe Blow who hates the government phoneys the way they do. They don’t care what he does or how he does it, he went on national TV and said fuck you to all the people the GOP’s most ardent base hates, and he said it maliciously, and with relish, something the GOP has been couching in double talk and dog whistles for years. They don’t care if he futzes with business, he’s a successful businessman, maybe it will rub off on the rest of America, but did you hear what he thinks of women? Man, women have been getting so damned full of themselves since they got the pill, am I right?

But anyway, that’s what I get from it. Trump wants out, can’t blame him either, only a misplaced sense personal pride at being a winner keeps him from just walking out the door and telling Ryan to deal with it.

#long post

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