#the moment I learn how to construct an actual plot it's over for you all

[xovera-toz]

Universe where the Gravity Falls forest is loosely connected to The Unknown and when Bill tears into the dimension, Beast!Wirt, who senses that something is seriously amiss, is like.

"You. What are you doing."

"Ohhhhh look, a wild little demon, crawling out of underworld's bushes- Can't say I've met you before! Well well well, I'm Bill Chiper, the one and only ruler of this dimension~ You?"

"Um. The Pilgrim. At your service."

"You have manners! What a delight! I'd thought you were some feral midget. What with how you appeared from your little domain..."

"It's not- you know what, nothing. Nothing. But... Would you mind closing that big ahh rip in the sky? It's disturbing the frogs."

"Ha ha HA! The frogs...

Nuh-UH!"

"Fym nuh-uh."

And then after some back and forth, Wirt, visibly done with Bill's bull, treathens everyone with the watchful eyes of black turtles. Because that's literally the best, scariest thing he can come up with.

But the other demons have no idea what this means, that the turtles he's talking about are pint sized on a good day, and they come to the only conclusion-

The AXOLOTL has minions.

Cue a lot of hurried apologies, demons scrambling over eachother to disappear back into the darkness they had come from, and a confused Wirt.

"How'd you do that?"

Dipper would ask, his sense of danger knocked sideways for the time being. He just faced a three dimensional triangle for fairness' sake.

"Uh. Bye."

And that's the last the Pines family ever hears of The Pilgrim.

#crack #I have no idea whwere that came from but it was fun #like people you believe that if Wirt had a chance to socialize he's take it? #You know the boy who would have rather died than faced the girl he liked #yea that one #he's awkward and relatable and fun to write #the moment I learn how to construct an actual plot it's over for you all #otgw #otgw wirt #wirt #beast wirt #gravity falls #dipper #dipper pines #bill chiper #crossover #drabble #I love writing these guys #is it obvious yet? #btw I'm on my last page in my (1.5 yo) sketchbook and I'm stalling send help

[writingquestionsanswered]

Trouble Making Stories Work

Anonymous asked: I keep getting stuck on ideas. I can pick out one base idea to work with but can't get further than that. I could get an idea for a external conflict, but no ideas for the characters or stakes. It doesn't matter if I get an idea for a conflict first, a character, a world, or a "what if" scenario, it all just stops after that. Do I just not have enough creativity? I've been wondering if storytelling is for me at all... I have read your Creative Well stuff multiple times. I do have one, but it doesn't always have what I need. And it takes time for things to get added. If I'm working on a story and get stuck, I need ideas as soon as possible. I can't really use my time watching movies and going on walks and hope for some ideas when I need them when I'm finally at my computer trying to write. It's not often I'm able to get myself to do it.

(Ask has been edited for length...)

If you make sure your creative well is full, and stays full, and you still struggle with ideas in the moment, the problem is that you don't have a solid enough understanding of how stories work. The ideas don't go anywhere because you don't know what to do with them. You don't have a solid enough grasp on internal conflict, external conflict, motivation, goals, internal wound, plot points, story structure, character development, and world building to know where to take each idea. It's a little bit like loving cars but trying to design one without knowing anything about car construction.

I really wish I could just say "do this" or "do that" and it would magically solve the problem, but there's no quick solution. You'll have to spend some time learning about your craft before you can bring these ideas into full stories. The more books you read or listen to, the more you'll understand how stories work. You can also read writing books and articles, and watch writing videos.

While you're doing that, you can continue to work on your current stories. Pushing your brain to come up with solutions is actually helpful, and the more you fill your brain with craft knowledge, the easier those solutions will come. Here are some posts that will help in the meantime:

Fleshing Out Plot Ideas Turning a Barrage of Ideas into a Plot How to Turn Ideas into a Story Finding a Story in Characters and Setting Finding a Plot to Go with Characters/Setting Can Come Up with a Back Story but No Plot Want to Write but Can’t Come Up with a Plot Guide: How to Turn Ideas into a Story Guide: Starting a New (Long Fiction) StoryGuide: Filling in the Story Between Known Events Guide: How to Outline a Plot Basic Story Structure Beginning a New Story How to Move a Story Forward Plot Driven vs Character Driven Stories Understanding Goals and Conflict

Happy writing!

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[cinnamonest]

hi lena ^_^ i saw your post about twst and i wanted to ask your thoughts on floyd *_* specifically regarding his mood swings + sadism and how you think he'd be as a yandere.. i honestly pray for his darling bc even normal floyd is terrifying

MY BOY I've had an idea for him for a while now and I'm glad to share it so ty <33333

On a soft (? sorta?) note he is absolutely the "I don't understand what this feeling is and how to express it to you and am confused and mad about it and I want to be around you but don't want to be vulnerable so I am just going to be a Menace™" type of boy. I LOVE the thought of him dealing with feelings bc I feel like the moment he has to handle something that actually makes him nervous and Feel Things he just... bluescreens, like eel.exe has stopped responding, he has one way and one way only of doing literally anything and now suddenly he has a fragile situation and he actually tries his best to do things "correctly" because he wants you to like him but at the same time it makes him vulnerable and he Does Not Like That At All.

As to how there's a female at the all-male school... use y'all's imagination I forgot to come up with something 😅A similar situation to the prefect maybe

Notes/Warnings: fem reader, VERY dubious consent that's basically just noncon, Jade taking being an enabler to another level, in fact Jade + Azul are just as bad if not worse here, a bit of canon divergence bc I expanded/extrapolated/exaggerated the limitations and capabilities of Azul's spell for plot purposes, biting (blood involved bc have you seen this boy's teeth), sadistic tendencies, consumption of fluids on his end, mentions of avoiding impregnation, Floyd being an entity of chaos and a creepy selfish little bastard all around

------------------------------

He has two major issues.

One, he doesn't understand his own feelings very well, can't recognize them for what they are, and this becomes a source of frustration.

Two, even if he does come to understand, he can only express himself in the worst of ways. He's surprisingly somewhat... uncomfortable with it. After all, he's not someone who usually cares a lot about the opinions of others, so he's not used to wanting someone to like him.

And consequently, for someone normally so blunt and transparent, the concept of romantic love is something so out of his comfort zone, so foreign and uncertain and vulnerable, that it's one of a few times he's ever felt embarrassed over something, although he does hide it well.

That self-direction frustration and confusion comes a bit later on, but not at first. No, initially, he just does what comes naturally to him. He's not someone that really puts too much thought into what he does or why, just acts on urge and impulse. Nor does he think about the implications of those impulses and urges, what the desire to do this or that means. He just does what he feels like in the moment, and does so without hesitation or consideration. Usually, that entails being a pest to whoever is the most entertaining to get reactions out of.

And as for you, you're entertaining. Perhaps predictably, he quickly becomes a thorn in your side, from the first unfortunate interaction you have, an unpleasant occurrence in which he happened to sit beside you on the first day of a class and quickly learned you were amusing to annoy all throughout. He's always been that kid that entertains himself by making constructs out of materials available to him.

Unfortunately for you, the universe has decided to gift him with the most valuable possible material to such a person: a rubber band. About fifteen minutes into class, he's constructed some catapult-esque contraption out of pencils, a paperclip, and said rubber band, puts an eraser into it, and sends it flinging a short distance -- which just so happens to be directly onto you hand, causing your highlighter to skid across the paper. You narrow your eyes into a glare, and harshly set it back on his section of the desk.

As it turns out, expressing your annoyance was a mistake. The same thing repeats itself. The bastard has a dumb smile plastered on his face about it this time. Your eye twitches as you shove it back on him again. The process repeats again before the class is over.

He learns the things that irk you quickly. Especially if he runs off with things that belong to you, or tries to look over your shoulder and read whatever's on your phone or your notes. He quickly singles in on you as an ideal target.

But there's something different about your reactions, something that sets apart the feeling from other people.

Usually, he doesn't really mind when people get annoyed or mad. Depending on the situation, he might get irritated in return, but whether or not the reaction is enjoyable depends on the individual and situation. Annoying people is always fun, but whether or not it's fun to get the person really mad depends on that person. Pure anger is only funny from a handful of people, namely Rosehearts and a couple of the teachers. A lot of people get too serious when they're mad, so it's not as fun. It's much more amusing when there's panic with it, when he has the upper hand over someone in some way, or if the person is too tiny (at least compared to him) or weak or some other trait for him to take them seriously (that's what you fall into).

But you -- when you're annoyed, when you glare, when you spoke to him through clenched teeth that first day in class - hey, knock it off! - it was amusing, yeah, but there's also a different feeling too, something like... irritation. It feels bad, even though the amusing part feels good. And it makes him feel some pang of an unpleasant sensation, makes him upset. He likes making you mad, and yet there's something about doing so that he doesn't like, too, some unpleasant emotion that always accompanies the good, amusing feeling. It's quickly addictive. He starts acting on impulse more and more with each class period you have together.

So, he didn't really think about it. You wouldn't let him look over your shoulder at what you're writing, cast a glare again? Well, that's fine. He just grabs your notebook as you're packing up, and takes it with him.

Wha-- hey... HEY! That's mine!

You chase after him, but it doesn't do you any good, he's got long legs and can get away long before you stand a chance of catching up. You have no choice but to go on the rest of your day without it. You would have reported an incident of harassment or theft or whatever other term you could come up with to complain to the school administration about, but later that same day, he comes to your dorm's common area, calling out to ask if someone by the name of (your name) is present, holding it out to give it back. Based on what you know of the guy, you're a bit shocked he would come back himself.

Or so you think. You glare and rip it out of his hands, giving a few choice words before you realize how upright and poised he seems to be now, quiet, a neutral but pleasant expression rather than the lazy, bored one he has throughout class. He tilts his head.

I apologize. You seem to be unaware...

After explaining the difference between the two (much to your shocked expression, and ignoring your attempts to stutter out an apology), Jade reassures you he only came to return it after asking his brother how a notebook with a stranger's name on it ended up on the floor of their room (is this normal enough behavior that his first guess was that it was stolen...?). He reassures you that you can direct 'any future issues or altercations' to him, and implores you to forget the incident.

Well... he was so polite, and you feel really embarrassed and guilty for chewing him out when it turns out you had the wrong guy. You tell yourself you can let this singular incident slide. You make a mental note to avoid both individuals from that point forward.

Which, as it turns out, is not exactly easy. You get to your class early in hopes of snagging a seat in between two people, but that fails, and he ends up beside you again. Acts as if nothing happened. Just slouches over, asks in a lazy tone of voice to borrow a pen. It makes you sort of snap at him.

Oh, you want to steal that from me too?

...Eh? I didn't steal nothing from you... you got it back, yeah? It's right there on your desk. I just borrowed it a while.

You grind your teeth. At further pestering, you hand over your least-valued pen, making him swear to return it to you by the end of the class period. Not that the precious ink is being put to any good use, no. You take a glance over while the lecture drones on, but he's just scribbling onto a sheet of notebook paper. At least he does give it back.

It quickly becomes a cycle with each class. When a quiz day comes along, he rather blatantly leans his entire body to the side for several seconds, scanning your paper before copying your answers. It infuriates you, but you tell yourself it's not worth the trouble. You figure maybe he's the type that will leave you alone if you just keep ignoring him, probably will stop finding you fun to mess with if you don't give him attention.

Except that's difficult to do. If you don't give said attention, he pesters you until you do.

Hey.

You stay quiet. Just ignore him, just ignore him... so you tell yourself.

Hey.

You try. You try very hard.

Hey. Hey, hey.

You get taps on the shoulder that time. You turn your head, narrow your eyes, hiss out a whisper. What?!

It's never anything important, usually pointing out something amusing -- a crude drawing left in a textbook from a student of years past, that guy over there fell asleep on his desk and looks really funny, the prefect's cat got up and started wandering around. Never anything important.

And then, just when you thought that was bad enough, you go to a different class, one where you have your seating assigned to you, only to find out that it's been rearranged. And guess who you get put next to? It feels like some sort of joke from a higher power. Now you have to deal with him for over two hours a day. He doesn't seem to mind, though.

You aren't sure how you expressing blatant irritation at his every word could have possibly given the boy the impression that you were friends or anything, but for whatever reason, he starts to seek you out outside of classes. At lunch, in classes, in passing in the halls. When you think back, you're not certain exactly when or with what it started, it just seems to happen so quickly and subtly it becomes a part of your daily life without even noticing until you're too deep into the daily ritual to back out. It's almost never a pleasant interaction, it's always to inconvenience you in some way, or just to ask you stupid questions in that grating sort of whiny voice he gets whenever perturbed.

What're you reading?

Snatches it out of your hands. This is really boring, you really read this? Like, for fun? You have bad taste... hey, stop trying to grab it, he's still looking at it. As time goes on, and if he's in a particular sort of mood, you may be humiliatingly jumping up and down in an attempt to get it while he holds it up over your head. Until, eventually, he suddenly stops, seemingly losing all interest in the torment, handing it back to you and walking off, sometimes without a word. Other times you'll be trying to work on something, only for a shadow to appear over you and your work.

Mm? What is that?

You remind him it's the homework that's due in a couple of hours. He replies, with no sense of urgency, that oh, I forgot about that. Tries to talk to you about something else. You give curt, short answers, very clearly communicating a not-subtle 'go away,' but even if he catches the hint, he doesn't act upon it. Just sits there, keeps asking pestering, pointless questions, before abruptly standing up and leaving whenever he feels like it. He gives you some dumb nickname that makes your skin crawl, but after telling him not to call you that, he just does so more. It starts with questions that wouldn't be so bad if not for the perpetual poor timing and coming from him, but often turn outright rude.

What class do you have after this one?

Why'd you get sorted into that dorm? They're all so boring...

Home come you're so uptight all the time? Don't you ever do anything fun?

And no matter how blatant the irritation and annoyance in your voice is when you reply, it doesn't deter him from continuing. If you're not paying enough attention to him, he can just take whatever you're looking at out of your hands. If you try to get up and leave, he just follow behind you, only finally leaving when he loses interest, and no sooner.

For everyone else, though, it's sort of a blessing. He's focused all his attention on you, so the normal victims of his tendencies and antics are left alone and unbothered, with you receiving the same annoyance and pestering and presence usually spread out across multiple others. He's even absent from the lounge quite a bit when he shouldn't be.

But for you, it starts to make you paranoid. You find yourself looking around all the time, unable to really relax whenever you're in open areas public to the student body, like the cafeteria and library and the like. You start to just study and work in your room much more often. You try once more to get to class early so you can find a seat in between two others, so he can't sit next to you, which does work every now and then (much to the visible displeasure on his face). But every time you see him, he's right back to being annoying. You don't know why, and you know you've made it more than clear that you'd rather not have him around.

So, you simply begin to avoid him more intensely. The class seating arrangement is not really fixable, but now you pack up and bolt out the door as soon as it's over, and don't linger in the slightest, try to get away before he can even follow you out. You work exclusively in your room, or areas limited to your dorm's students. You avoid him whenever possible during school hours, too. Which isn't too hard, as he's so tall that you can generally pick him out of a crowd and see him from a good distance away. You make sure to keep as great of a distance as possible between the two of you, and if you notice him coming towards you, you try your best to get away. Sometimes, inevitably, you still fail. Your eyes meet, you see him perk up and make his way over to you, and you fail to get away fast enough before a hand grabs the collar of your uniform and pulls you back. Hey... where're you trying to go...?

And it's not as if he's unaware that you're avoiding him.

No, in truth, he's very aware he's annoying you. He's realized that from the beginning, hell, it was intentional, he was trying to do so, after all. But he's aware that it's not just annoying you in a temporary way that's fun for him (although that's often true as well), but also that he's actively making you dislike him. He keeps digging the hole deeper and deeper and making you hate him but he can't stop.

See, he knows no other way to interact with you. Messing with you and terrorizing you on a daily basis is just the default way he interacts with virtually everyone. It's what comes naturally. And normally, people being wary of him and a bit uneasy around him is fine by him, amusing even. The only people he really cares about are his brother and Azul, and both of them are essentially immune to his ways to an extent. Thus, he's never had to learn to interact with others in a positive, normal way. He wants to be around you, but the only way he can manage do that is one that makes you not want to be around him. The way he is just kind of... comes out, without making an intentional effort to be that way. This gradually begins to create a great deal of negative emotion in him.

Especially seeing as he doesn't really get it to begin with. He's perceptive of you to an extent, but he's not all that self-aware, he doesn't understand the feeling itself, just knows the urges are there -- the urge to be around you, talk to you, follow you around. Mess with you and watch you squirm. He doesn't like that following the urges is resulting in your disdain the way it is. Someone avoiding him has never made him frustrated like it does now. Normally, he really couldn't care less what others think of him, so he doesn't put others' perception or esteem of him into consideration when acting. His lack of concern for this is pretty obvious in his attitude, too.

But the thing is, he does care, when it comes to you, how he's perceived. And that's a new, foreign feeling. Everything you cause him to feel is very new and foreign. It's a lot of strange feelings he doesn't understand, and is very frustrated about not understanding.

Not that he doesn't still enjoy antagonizing you. No, he greatly enjoys getting reactions from you, startling you, stealing things from you, making you mad or upset, seeing you jump to try and get your things back.

It's difficult to explain (largely because it's nonsensical), but he basically wants to terrorize your life and ruin your day, over and over, but he  wants you to be a willing participant in the cycle, rather than avoiding him or running away. For you to allow it... well, no, just allowing it and being unaffected would be boring. He wants you to be upset and mad, but to not avoid what makes you upset. To be bothered, but to... enjoy being upset. For you to like it and dislike it at the same time.

Of course, the problem lies in the fact that this is simply not the logical course of action any normal person would take. He does upset you and he does annoy you, so, like anyone would do, you avoid him.

The thing is, he sometimes comes to you with genuine intent, just wanting to ask a question or something similar. He's done so a few times in the past, just sees you and follows the impulse to approach you and start talking. On those occasions, he's not really all that unpleasant, just asks what you're doing and where you're headed, but to you, you automatically assume it's just a precursor to doing something to upset you. The way he looms over you and stares down at you certainly doesn't help diminish the intimidation, even if he's not trying to be intimidating. Granted, that too would likely turn into something less pleasant, but he's still trying to strike up a genuine conversation. Thus, when you still frantically try to get away on those occasions, it upsets him even more than when you do so normally. Even though he's just trying to talk to you, even though he didn't do anything wrong, you still stiffen up, look to the ground, give a quick answer and go running off and away. It feels irritating.

What gives?

He gets that sort of irritated, whining tone, that furrowed eyebrows and slight scowl to his face, even though he's just muttering to himself. You're way overreacting... he's trying to be nice this time and you're still running away when you see him? What do you have to go and do that for? Why do you act like he's gonna do something bad? What has he ever done to deserve you being so cold as to turn off and run before he can even get a word out? Ugh.

The scowl persists as he makes his way back home. He's petulant when he's in a bad mood. Doesn't want to help at the lounge... even him coming up to you just now was after he went off on his own when he was supposed to be there, leading to a serious staffing confusion and the lounge going unmanned for a solid half hour. Not that his mood swings haven't led to him abandoning responsibilities before, but he usually has at least some consideration as to not outright leave on the rare occasion he's been needed to run things alone while the others are busy.

When questioned on the matter, he just shrugs.

I didn't feel like it.

But it's said not in that usual dismissive, lazy tone of his, but rather, a very obviously bitter voice. And, quite childishly, he doesn't respond well to asked as to what's wrong. Of course, there's a certain embarrassment to liking someone that way. His subconscious knows that, but he doesn't consciously know why that burning feeling is there. Thinking about it all makes him feel some feeling that's good and bad and exciting and dreadful and pulls him in and scares him away all at the same time and it's so, so incredibly frustrating.  Usually, if he's mad about something, he won't hesitate to complain and be very vocal about things that upset him, even when it would probably be best left unsaid. Now, though, at the probing of both Azul and his twin, he's very clearly upset, but gives uncharacteristically curt, cold replies when asked what's causing his poor mood.

Nothin'.

But those questions aren't being asked out of genuine curiosity, either, more just to see if it'll help him to talk about it.

They already know. Floyd is not the most perceptive of his own self, but that doesn't mean that Jade and Azul aren't already perfectly well aware of exactly what the issue is. They keep enough of an eye on him to have seen him around, always trailing you, always sulking after you run off, they've seen how his mood has gotten worse and worse with time, and both connect the dots more or less immediately.

They don't really know what to do, though. The situation leaves the both of them at a loss. They certainly do discuss the matter to each other, whenever Floyd is gone off to go hunting for you or sent to run errands or merely sulking off on his own, but have trouble coming up with what can really be done to resolve the problem. After all, it's... well, it's him. Him being the person that he is complicates literally any social situation he could ever possible be involved in. Initially, they tried to just redirect his attention back to something else, hoping he'd lose interest in you, but that didn't work.

Eventually, although it's more of a straightforward and potentially risky plan than either would have liked, they do come up with something akin to a solution. Nothing covert, nothing manipulative or underhanded, rather, incredibly direct and transparent, at least towards you.

You're looking down at your notes, so you have your head tilted down when you're approached, have your name called out to you. That's a bit startling, as you didn't hear anyone approach, and you're sitting by yourself after classes have ended for the day... but it's far more startling when you tilt your head up to the speaker, and nearly have a heart attack, stiffening and starting to stand up before you recognize that oh, it's the *other* one.

Jade is as eerily polite as always. Apologizes for startling you, standing in that stiff and unmoving way that makes your skin crawl. He says he simply has a proposition that would be potentially beneficial to you, in exchange for helping him with a problem. You warily ask for some elaboration.

He doesn't beat around the bush or waste any time building up to the offer. It's very simple. Your avoidance of his brother, who is fond of you, puts him in a poor mood, which negatively affects those around him. You, for a negotiable weekly sum, will abide by the following loose terms: stop avoiding him as you do, be pleasant towards him, entertain his ways, and generally gives him what he wants. Interventions and help for problems that may arise can be discussed. Name a price.

You're taken aback at first, left blinking, wide-eyed and silent. Even if it weren't such a bizarre thing to be asked, the suddenness with which you're hit with the information takes a moment to register.

What?

But after the offer is repeated to you (calmly, as if saying nothing out of the ordinary), and you fully process it, you scoff.

Are you serious?

But he doesn't miss a beat.

Entirely. You go to protest, but he speaks again before you can. He tends to lose interest in things very quickly, as I'm sure you're aware. It would most likely only be for a short time.

A few moments of silence pass between the two of you. You roll your eyes, lean back in your seat, and think of an outrageous price, hopefully to deter him, making sure to add a sardonic tone to be clear it's not serious. Twenty-thousand thaumarks a week.

But instead of sighing or making a displeased expression, he just nods.

Accepted. Please, sign this.

You sputter and stiffen. A paper is set on the desk, a pen set down to your side. Right, these people are obsessed with making all deals by written contracts, you've heard that mentioned before... still, the prospect is... You swallow, blink numbly, look back and forth between the paper and the eerie, unwavering smile above you. There's practically an essay written in tiny text on the paper, but you're not about to take the time to read all of that. Instead, you focus on the much-larger bullet points at the center of the paper, with your and Floyd's names handwritten into some of the brackets, to establish the primary points of the contract.

Do not flee when approached, and do not avoid the tertiary party [LEECH, F.] without reason outside of desire to do so.

Spend approximately, at minimum, three (3) hours per day outside of in-class time in each other's presence.

Behave generally pleasantly towards the tertiary party [LEECH, F.], avoid unnecessary cruelty or malice.

Abide by the tertiary party's will, and do not impede the tertiary party from doing as he wishes.

And beneath it all, there's a final piece of large print, bolded too, right before the designated signature line.

This contract will remain known exclusively to the primary [LEECH, J.; ASHENGROTTO, A.] and secondary [______] parties. No individuals outside of these parties, including the tertiary party [LEECH, F.] may be made aware of the existence of this contract nor the contents thereof.

Your nose scrunches. Of course the bastard would make it sound a lot better verbally, when the specifics are stricter... given all of this, the proposition would be incredibly annoying. Not to mention--

...What if I mess up just once? How do you even know I'm doing it anyway?

The other twin doesn't seem to be bothered by the question.

I will not be able to watch your every move, so you are granted some leeway to make mild offenses, but if you continually violate the terms, or commit major violations...

His smile seems to widen, his eyes close.

I *will* know. I assure you.

His expression creeps you out. You shift in your seat. Your natural reaction, of course, is to immediately reject the idea. Besides, it's a golden scroll, made by the dorm's housewarden... that means it's magically bound, or something like that, and he can take some ability of yours away or something. But you, well, the housewarden has nothing against you, you've never actually interacted with the guy. Besides, your magical abilities are... not enviable, you'd admit. So whatever is taken can't be too useful to you. This is probably just the default way they do all contracts, you assume.

Nonetheless, you still don't like how shady the thought of magic being involved in the contract is.

...But that's a lot of money.

That's a LOT of money.

And he said it would be temporary, right? Even at the bottom of the contract, amidst a mountain of words, you spot in slightly larger print: ...until it can be mutually agreed upon by the primary and secondary party that the tertiary party has lost interest, at which point, the contract may be terminated without further effect or consequence.

With that in mind, it's basically just putting up with him for a month or two for a lot of money, right?

You clench your jaw, but your hand seems to move on its own. You just can't pass that up.  He snatches it back the moment you set the pen down.

Thank you for your cooperation. You will receive a transfer to your account by the end of the day.

You shift uncomfortably in your chair and start to ask about the specifics, you didn't read all that tiny print after all... but he's already out the door. You get the sense he left as fast as he could on purpose. You're not sure if there's anything else specific you're supposed to do, but if so, it's kinda his fault for not elaborating, you assume.

But as the day goes on, you get a dreadful feeling in your stomach. Maybe that wasn't a wise idea. You start to think of all the ways you can get out of this, consider walking over to Octavinelle just to try and cancel the deal... but... that is a lot of money. Even someone like him is tolerable with that much money on the line, right? You've already gotten used to his presence, so, you figure it won't be too bad. You just have to tolerate what you've already gotten used to, and you'll get paid for it. It's not like it can really get any worse.

Except it can.

It turns out, as awful as Floyd is when you're running away from him, it is indeed infinitely worse when you don't run.

At first, you figure he just has to be there, right? Jade never said you have to really pay him any mind. So you go about your tasks... for whatever amount of time you can.

He gets annoyed pretty quickly. Rips the thing you're doing out of your hands. What's this for? This looks boring...

If you're looking at something on your phone, likewise, he leans over, reads the screen of whatever app you're on. If it's social media - Who's that? That your family? - or if it's a game - what's that? What's that thing for? What are you supposed to do? - and if it's a website or text-based social app - what's that about? Which one is you? What're you talking about? - just zero respect for your privacy, trying to butt in on whatever you're doing. Most importantly, he very quickly decides it's boring and you should do something else, and will take the phone out of your hands if need be. It's like a child, his solution to getting your attention or getting you to do anything is always the same, directly grabbing whatever is in your hands and pulling it away so you're forced to either pay attention to him, or follow him in an attempt to get it back. It quickly becomes a habit of his that drives you up the wall.

Your agreement also means you now no longer try to run to class early to get a seat between two already-taken seats before he can get there, no. Now, he's following you all the time anyway, so you don't get the chance. And he doesn't exactly pay attention in class, as you've already learned. As time goes on, he gets more conversational rather than just the occasional interjection, acting as if class time is just a designated period for you two to whisper back and forth, seeming to not care whether or not you're trying to actually pay attention. Occasionally he'll use a paper (provided by you) and pen (also provided by you) to draw a tic-tac-toe board, which you usually actually do engage with, as it's a way to keep him quietly, non-disruptively entertained for a few minutes.

As agreed, once classes are over, you let him follow you for about three hours, usually to the library or the school store. Once that time is up, though, you say you have to study, and bid him farewell to go to your room. That's a valid reason, you assume, and it's not like Jade can watch you from the safety of your room, so it's not a violation even if you're actually just going back to nap.

There's never any "official" moment at which things become "a relationship." He never says anything of the sort, and neither do you — you agreed to tolerate it, but you're certainly not going to instigate that. Hell, you want to avoid him thinking it's something like that, even if you've slowly pieced together that that may be what he wants.

Or so you guess. That's the conclusion you come to, but he's not a person who makes sense to begin with. If that was what he wanted, it makes no sense for him to have acted the way he has either. You just try to not think about it, and deal with things as they happen.

He just gets more... comfortable. You were hoping that he would maybe get less intense with time, that he'd get bored as he so often does with other things, but it only seems to get worse. He sits closer to you whenever you're next to each other. When he trails behind you, the distance between you two has grown smaller and smaller, so much so that sometimes his shoes scuff against yours, your arms brush up against each other.

He finds you more frequently. It reaches a point where it's suffocating. It used to be that he would come find you to annoy you maybe once a day or so, but now, it's every opportunity. Somehow he manages to learn where you have classes and clubs, where you hang out after the day is over, and hunts you down at each one with eerie precision and accuracy, within minutes of leaving a room or sitting down. Sometimes he's waiting outside the door when you exit a class. Stays with you all day, for the remainder of the day, until you finally go back to your dorm.

He himself doesn't treat it as if it's strange or funny or anything. You almost get the sense he doesn't realize how abnormal it comes across as. Always just striking up conversation on whatever strikes him as important enough to address at the moment. Or, increasingly commonly as time goes on, and an indicator that he's going to be particularly annoying on that day: I'm bored.

You always sigh. But you have to be somewhat polite... well, what do you expect *me* to do about that...?

He'll shrug. Maybe say 'dunno.'

But that's when he starts to get nosey, mess with your things. Always flops down on the other side of where you're sitting, or beside you. Continues the habit of ripping things out of your hands (your biggest pet peeve with him, the most infuriating thing he does, and yet does it so often), feels the need to comment on them, moves on to mess with something else. All until it always ends the same way -- with your undivided attention being on him and exclusively him.

Hey, play a game with me.

Watch this video with me.

We're gonna go to the store, I wanna get something.

Always, always, doing whatever he wants. You have to learn to bite your tongue. It's worse than it ever was when he was just a pest in class. When you made the agreement with Jade, you were envisioning only dealing with what you were already accustomed to. You didn't think it would get more intense.

And another thing, you also didn't predict the repercussions of that when it comes to other people.

You wanted to hang out with your own friends, but since he tags along with you everywhere you go, you tried to maybe you could lug him along like a pet or something and hope he stayed quiet... but people know who he is, and most are a bit uneasy around him. He doesn't actually do anything bad -- he doesn't have to. He just sort of looks over at your group, making eye contact, and almost immediately one person suddenly conveniently has to leave. Then another, then another, and all of your friends have disbanded within a few minutes, and he didn't have to say a word. You sulk back to your dorm... you get the sense he's not at all unhappy, though. It just means more time by yourselves, after all.

People try and approach you, still, just to say hi, to ask a question. Plenty of times now, you've been sitting next to him in the library or on a bench in the outdoor area and someone will come up to you, waving and calling your name... only to stiffen. He just looks at them. Not a glare like a normal person would if upset, but that blank, wide-eyed, intense stare, eerie and ominous and more threatening than any glare, really. It drives people away within a minute of coming up to you, they usually stammer something about whatever they were going to approach you for, but get it out as quickly as they can before taking off in a different direction.

It's not the only issue with others, either. On the rare occasion you get to have a few minutes to talk with someone else, he always manages to show up, interrupts your conversations, coming up to you and talking right over the other person, pulling you away as if they weren't there.

One day, a rare occurrence takes place in which he actually was running late (some sort of issue at the lounge) and isn't with you when you arrive, nor is he already in the classroom by the time you get there. In his absence, some poor, poor new transfer student makes the mistake of sitting down beside you. You say nothing, not wanting to be rude... and besides, surely he'll let this one instance go, right? It's not that big of a deal.

You would be wrong. He comes walking up to his usual place, quiet and staring. There's a few moments of silence. You turn in your chair and are just about to say something when the poor kid is grabbed by the back of his shirt, hauled up into the air, carried a few steps over, and promptly dumped onto the ground. Floyd takes his usual place, the kid runs off, all without a word. He says nothing about it either, just starts talking. What's everyone looking through the book for? 's there a test today...?

You didn't say anything at the time, but that occurrence marks the moment you truly begin to realize you can't allow things to go on as they are.

So you tell yourself. You tell yourself you're going to do something. Over and over.

But the spending money is nice. You get a ton of things you wouldn't have otherwise. New stationery and notebooks for class, a new phone, some expensive memory cards, so on and so on. You blow through it pretty fast... even though you tried to tell yourself to save some of it. Honestly, you often end up making an unnecessary purchase as a reward to yourself after a particularly energy-draining day of dealing with Floyd. It's what keeps you going, really. Until this is over.

It's only one day, upon thinking that, that you realize something. It's been months since you started enduring all this, and yet, unlike the prediction you were given, he shows no signs of "losing interest."

That's worrying. You only agreed under the belief it would be short-lived. There is absolutely no way you can endure this for the rest of the semester, let alone the year, or, God forbid, the rest of your school career. You'd go insane. You have to do something.

You consider going over and giving Floyd's twin a piece of your mind and telling him to forget it, plenty of times. But soon that isn't even an option, because you wouldn't have the time.

Because now, he starts following you back to your dorm. Like so many other things, it's never addressed, it goes unspoken. One day he just apparently decides that he's not going to follow you to the edge of your dorm and bid you goodbye for the day like usual, no, he just... keeps walking. Follows you into your dorm space without a word about the matter. At least he seems to be enjoying himself, saying something about how it's cool, asking what's that and that over there, so on and so on. It's only after you reach your room that he finally seems to take a hint and mutters something about seeing you tomorrow. You give a brief mm-hmm before closing the door to your room behind you, and sinking down to your knees in exhaustion. Great, now he knows where your room is.

It's only after a few minutes of sitting there, though, that you realize you haven't heard his footsteps walk away yet.

Is he just... standing...? No, you just... didn't hear it. You were lost in thought. So you tell yourself.

Meanwhile, he wonders why you haven't gotten up yet. Are you sitting on the floor? He can sort of see your shadow through the tiny crack of light at the bottom of the door.

He was kinda hoping to go inside. That's disappointing... sigh.

You're probably at that point, right? He's... not sure. He would think so. Is there some kind of factor determining whether or not it's okay for him to go in? Was he supposed to just walk in anyway? You probably wouldn't have minded, right? Should've done that. He's not familiar with any time frame where you're supposed to start going into each other's places, but he's like, ninety-nine percent sure you're there.

See, to him, he just assumes something must have changed somehow. More importantly, he is under the impression you are "together" in the relational sense.

At some point along the way, unlike he was initially, he's figured things out. Never said it out loud. He's usually not someone that's embarrassed easily, but the thought of this in particular is... it makes him uncomfortable in a way that's foreign to him. It's confusing.

But he does understand, now. Why being around you makes him feel like there's a weight on his chest, such a nervous and unpleasant feeling, yet why he keeps coming back to it, why such an unpleasant feeling can be so pleasant and addictive all the same. Even he, who has no former experience with the emotion, who has never even given the topic much thought, can only think about it for so long before putting the pieces together. He doesn't fight it, no, he's not the type to be in denial. He just sort of... accepts it. It is what it is.

Still, he's not good with this sort of thing. Doesn't really know a lot. Has never experienced it before. And that makes him uncomfortable, nervous even, below the surface of a composed exterior. He's never cared about what someone else thinks of him, has never wanted someone to like him.

And in truth, he's been somewhat nervously analyzing you all along. Again, he just... doesn't know of another way to interact with someone, than the way he does already. But this is the one time he's really really cared, so if there is some other way to interact with you, that's supposed to win you over, he'd want to know. Is there something special he's supposed to do?

Ugh. It's all so annoying. It makes him mad. It's made worse by the fact that the source of the negative emotion is a situation, a concept, his own feelings, not a person. Usually when he's mad, he can squeeze whoever's making him mad... he wants nothing more than to take the source of the anger, wrap his hands around its neck... but he can't, because there is no person at fault (well, he thought about doing that to you, but that made him feel weird in a different way that he doesn't get yet). But the emotion keeps boiling over, it's unbearable, he hates it.

Well, come tomorrow morning, the residents of your dorm will find one of their pieces of thematic decor snapped in half, but... yeah, no one saw it happen, so he'll just set the other half on the ground and find his way out. He kicks at the ground as he walks, deep in thought.

All of a sudden, you stopped running away so much. You still have an irritated expression sometimes, but maybe that's just how you are? That's how you always seem, and he's around you all the time, so that must just be your resting face. Otherwise, why would you be wearing that face whenever he's around you?

Whatever the reason, you clearly don't mind. So, that basically officiates it, doesn't it? No need to actually say anything or ever address it. That would be... something he doesn't know how to do. Something he can't afford to just do, as it doesn't come naturally. Something he won't do, can't do.

But that's normal, right? It happens all the time, people are together without every officially establishing it.

Instead, he just tests you. That makes sense to him. The desperation to have some sort of confirmation gives him the temporary confidence to go through with such a thing without hesitation.

You would never know he's uneasy. He comes across as just as uncaring and casual in the action as everything else he does. It's a very simple test, too: comes up to you after a class, gives you the usual what're you doing?, you exchange a few words, he sits down beside you like always.

Except this time, as you are acutely and immediately aware, he sits so close that your thighs touch.

A moment passes. You clench your teeth and stiffen. But, you're pretty sure this would fall under the technicalities of the contract, so, you bear it, and you say nothing.

...

...

...You didn't move.

Yeah, so, if you didn't view things between you two the same way he does, you would have moved. That basically confirms it, for him. Good to know. It's not solidified in his mind. Very relieving.

From that point forward, he starts to become more touchy. He always sits that way, so your legs touch, he starts to lean so that your arms touch too. Eventually he starts to just lean over, rest on you. The fact that you don't pull away is reassuring.

Nor is his tendency to grab at things limited to objects you're holding; even with you, he's grabby. You're going off in one direction, but he wants to go this way? He'll just grab you by the arm and pull you the preferred direction. He wants to get up and go somewhere else? He'll abruptly stand up, grab the collar of your shirt and pull you up. He has no issue interrupting you, far overstepping the boundaries of rudeness to prioritize you paying attention to what he wants. Even if you're listening to music or something, but he deems whatever he has to tell or show you as more important (which he always does), he'll just pull the earbuds out of your ears to interrupt and override whatever you're doing.

If you get a text, he'll often poke his head over your shoulder as he did before, but often now he'll just grab your phone and look at it himself. Hey, who's this? That's a newer aspect of his interruptive tendencies that begins to develop - he's always gotten nosey about who people are, but you notice he's much more intent on it now, no longer accepts one word answers like "my cousin" or "a friend" alone, but instead pries more and more, wanting to know how you know them, how often you talk to them, if they're a student here, and so on. It helps his case that he doesn't ask in an angry or nervous tone, instead maintains his usual casual, lax tone of voice... but even so, there's still an increasingly clear intensity to it, insistence. Namely because, on the few times you've tried to get around a question or avoid answering, he doesn't let it slide, and will ask the same thing again. Again, no anger or intense emotion, but something about the fact that he asks a second time, no matter how relaxed his face and voice may seem, gives you a sense of unease. Like it bothers him more than it would initially seem.

Once, you must have forgotten to lock your screen, because you come back after getting up to get a drink (insisting no, the machine is right over there, that he needs to just sit right there and not get up to follow) to him sitting there, scrolling through... your phone. Not trying to hide it; even when you stand there in slack-jawed disbelief at the audacity, he turns his gaze over to you for a moment before asking why you haven't sat back down yet. Notes that hey, you know, you really should optimize your phone settings, your battery's gonna drain faster the way it is now... and keeps scrolling. Even when you get over the disbelief and, momentarily forgetting your contract terms, start grabbing for it (that's my phone! Floyd, you can't -- you can't just -- ugh! Give it!) he just leans over and turns all around to avoid you snatching it back, continuing his curious browsing with an otherwise blank face, only smiling after finding something somewhat embarrassing, turning it back to you to tease you about it, which goes on for a few minutes before finally relenting.

It's too much. You barely manage to control your frustration. It's reached a point where the money isn't worth it, he's too annoying, he's driving you crazy, freaking you out, driving your friends away. You can't even remember the last time you had a conversation with anyone other than him. You tell yourself to take the first opportunity you get to seek Jade out again.

Which does come, one day, in an unexpected situation. A partnered project in the lecture section of the alchemy class you two are in, to be completed as part of the lab section. The professor begins reading off pairs of who works with who, but you realize the partners being assigned are based on just who sits next to each other. Unsurprisingly, then, your names are called as a pair. He seems pleased by it, making a comment about how you should make something cool-looking (the subject matter is destructive chemicals, so you're almost worried he might put a bit too much effort in...).

Not that that's too bad. You already spend all that time with him anyway... besides, you'd almost be afraid for the safety of your partner if it was anyone else. He might do something to them. You'd hate someone to get hurt because of you. You don't think much more of the matter, until suddenly, after school is over for the day, he abruptly stops, just as you pass by some of the doors leading to important administrative offices and, more notably, the school pharmacy.

I'm gonna go get something... wait here just a minute.

It immediately strikes you as odd that he doesn't have you go in with him. But frankly, your curiosity on that is immediately overshadowed by the sudden realization that, for once, you have a spare moment to yourself, during the daytime. His absence gives you an opportunity. Sure, he said he'd only be gone "a minute," but the temptation to be able to end things is too strong. It's not like it matters if you ditch him, since you'll be able to get rid of him permanently soon, right? You can cancel the contract, finish this project, tell him off and then never talk to him again. Be done with it all for good. It's more than you can handle. You chastise yourself for ever agreeing in the first place.

You practice a speech on the way to Octavinelle, run over the words over and over, but by the time you get there and make your way to the housewarden's office (you know full well he's in on it too, his name was on the contract after all) and barge through the doors, your mind goes blank.

Predictably, the housewarden and your tormentor's brother are both there, thankfully by themselves. Their eyes widen a bit, seeing you come in, but at the same time, it's more of an intrigue, merely catching attention by the suddenness of someone coming through the door. But they don't look surprised to see you. As if both knew it was only a matter of time before you'd be walking through those doors one day.

You try to not overthink, and just speak. Be direct and blunt.

I can't take it anymore.

It all comes unraveling out of your mouth all at once. I can't do this. It's wearing me down. I'm going insane. I can barely breathe. You ramble for several minutes, telling them just how far it's all gone and how you're at the end of your patience.

They listen attentively. Almost too much so. Glance back at each other, then back to you.

You are prepared to go through with the cancellation policy, then?

You take a few moments to reply.

...Huh?

Mechanically, without any effort to look for it, the housewarden pulls the paper out in a matter of seconds. Sets it on the table, pushes it in your direction.

The cancellation policy. It was on the contract that you signed.

There's a rising dread in your stomach. You don't like the faux-pleasantness on his face, the way he intertwines his fingers and rests his head on top of the conjoined hands. You squint downward.

In very tiny print, towards the middle of the page, it reads that cancellation of the contract would require complete reimbursement of all your payments up to the point of cancellation, in addition to 20% interest on those funds.

At this point, that would be... you try to compute it in your head, but the multiplication quickly becomes too high of numbers for you to do without the aid of a calculator. And contractual issues where the agreed deals aren't met... you've heard nightmare tales about students getting into that situation. Worked to the bone.

Still, the first thing that comes out of your mouth is to ask Azul to do exactly that.

So you'll just make me work for you? I... I can do that. Just-- I'll do work for--

No need. I would merely use control over you to have you go back to doing the same as you've been anyway. He tilts his head. It's more of a matter of whether you'll do it of your own will, or by force. He points to a specific line. And even if you break it, you'll continue to accumulate debt per week. More so, even, see here?

A different line, that reads: post-cancellation, the interest on the remaining debt will increase by 50% per week.

That's 70% total interest... that's almost doubling the amount with each week, and even if you worked a full-time job, that would be...

There's a long silence. The look on your face tells them all that could need to be said.

That's insane. There's a strain in your voice. Desperation, panic. In your defense, it is insane. You'd never see something like that in the real world, it would be bordering on illegal. You also recall the first conversation you had with Jade, and turn back to him. You said it would be temporary.

He smiles as you again. I did believe so. It would seem you have managed to fulfill your role well enough that you have become an exception. Congratulations.

You eye twitches. In your panic, you start to raise your voice, lash out with desperation in your tone.

What happens when it ends, then? You want me to lie to him until I graduate?

Just as before, Jade is the one to reply, not missing a beat, replying in a flat tone, as if the matter is of no significance.

The contract states nothing about expiring upon graduation. Please do remember it is both magically and legally binding, thus--

The words come out of your mouth the moment he finishes speaking.

I can't do that.

You can't. You know you can't. You're already at your limit, you already feel like you're losing your mind.

It feels like your stomach has twisted into a knot. Those words come crashing down the hardest. You look up and down, up and down, back and forth between them and the paper. Of course, they knew you'd be likely to back out, and ensured you couldn't ahead of time. It's so, so obvious it was entirely planned to go over this way, and you feel so utterly stupid for falling for it, yet you can't help but also wonder--

Why...?

Your tone makes it clear what you're referring to. Jade tilts his head.

Surely you would understand wanting happiness for a close relative, yes?

Their smiles don't waver. It's infuriating, makes you want to reach out and claw at their faces, and frankly, you're almost at the point of losing control to refrain from exactly that.

You *did* choose to sign it. Don't tell me you didn't take the opportunity to read the thing in full? In truth, Azul's voice is possibly eve more infuriating, it's more blatantly smug and jeering. Your body is trembling with emotion as you look him in the eye before he continues. But have no worry... since you seem to be struggling, I can make it easier for you.

Your eyebrows furrow. Panic and dread makes you hostile, easily set off by his words. You narrow your eyes and you're just about to question his meaning, but the door opens behind you, and you all fall silent.

...Mm...? What are you doing here?

You twitch at the familiar voice. You slowly turn your head around.

There's a long quiet that settles over the room. You're pretty sure your facial expression must reveal your panic and dread, because Floyd sort of tilts his head. What's up with you...?

You're still at a loss, unable to form words. His brother, however, finds a quick excuse.

Ah, there you go, miss _____. Seems you won't be needing us to find him.

You stiffen, swallow, sputter your words, but you manage to get out something aligned with that. O-oh, yeah I was -- I had to get something from my room and uh, you weren't in the store by the time I got back and uh... I just...

You suppose that would make sense, if you were looking for him, this probably would be where you'd go.

Floyd seems to accept that without too much question, saying he was looking for you too. He seems a bit irritated, saying that he tried to call you but you didn't pick up, you claim your phone was on silent (it wasn't, but you quickly grab it and pretend to turn the volume up a bit before it can go off again and prove you were lying), and after he drops a stack of papers off on the desk, the two of you quickly make your way back out (rather, he grabs you by the wrist and starts dragging you out of the room). Azul mentions something about him coming in tomorrow for the weekend shift (met with a yeah, yeah, I know), but, as you turn your head back over your shoulder before the door closes behind you, glaring with venom in your gaze, you get two knowing, infuriatingly cocky smiles in return.

You barely register him talking as you're dragged along. I tried goin' back to the library too, you know, I walked around forever looking for you...

Ugh. Can't you let it go already? Or at least, that's what you think, what you want to say, but you clench your jaw and mutter out another half-hearted sorry.

If you chew him out, you'll be violating the agreement... and although you could express irritation just a bit as per the loose contractual terms, you're pretty sure if you even started, you wouldn't be able to stop the floodgates from opening and getting out everything you want to say to him... so it's easier to just try and swallow it and keep quiet. It does look like you'll be stuck with that contract... you try to not think about it. The shock of it all is still fresh in your mind. If you focus on it, you might just break down, and you can't have that right now.

You try and change the subject, even though you're still rather shaken up, but you really don't want to deal with him thinking something is wrong and getting upset over it.

You... you wanna work on that project now? We can go to the library.

He was the one who mentioned wanting to do it tonight, earlier that day. You figure you should reward that sentiment, as he's usually a very last-minute person in regards to classwork. You can stand to be generous and not try and redirect to another day (as suggesting and redirecting is your frequent substitution for outright refusal).

He shrugs.

Nah... don't wanna go that far. We're already here anyway, makes no sense to go all the way across campus. My room's right over that way.

You stiffen. You do not want to do that. You don't like the thought of being alone with him in his own space, especially as it's nearly evening by now. You're still filled with spite (and near disbelief) from your earlier conversation with the other two, and worn out to the point of exhaustion. Besides, you've really abided by the whole thing pretty well thus far, and since it's clear to you now that Jade would greatly prefer the contract stay non-violated, so... you remember how he did say, way back when you first signed the godforsaken thing, that you'd have some leeway, and you've gotten away with a few things thus far. Surely it's not going to break the whole contract if you just try to tell him no outright and entirely, just this once.

You open your mouth.

...

Nothing comes out.

And in that same moment, you reach the end of the hallway. To the left is the Octavinelle dorm rooms, to the right is the common outdoor area and, by extension, the exit.

Okay, it's that one over there. He points to a door down the hall and turns.

Your feet, against your own will, before he can even pull you along, go left.

The sudden bizarre act makes panic burst through your chest, your body feels as if electrified. Your eyes widen, but you can't stop moving forward. You stumble, but carry on all the same.

Your mind races and races and your feet keep moving, you're trying to mask the bewilderment on your face and then it hits you. Those golden contracts...

'I can make it easier for you.'

The words run through your mind, each one like a heavy beat in your chest. It makes sense. Even if it's not using his signature spell, there's no reason he wouldn't be able to bind within the contract other sealing forms of magic, too, removing a specific voluntary capability, and waiting to activate it whenever it was needed.

He took away your ability to be defiant.

It feels as if there's a weight of ice in your chest. Cold and heavy. Dread bubbles up in your gut as the door opens. Floyd grabs you by the wrist to pull you in.

The room is almost comical to look at -- one side pristine and neat, everything in perfect order... the other messy, stuff strewn about everywhere, bed unmade, clothes laying over the back of the desk chair, trash can full and surrounded by papers crumpled into balls, shelves lined with open bags of junk food. You have no trouble guessing which side is which. He off-handedly mentions that Jade is staying with someone else overnight. How convenient.

There's a heavy, awkward silence. You ask about the materials for the initial paperwork you'll have to create as a formulaic model for the project.

Yeah, I got it.

After pulling the covers up, he sits on the bed, lazily fetching the textbook out. You don't protest that (after all, he only has the one desk chair in the tiny dorm room, and the floor looks kinda disgusting), and you slowly sit down on the other side - facing him so you're apart, not sitting side by side, keeping your distance.

To fill the silence, you start to talk about the whole thing. There's a growing nervousness in your chest, a sense of dread. He doesn't seem very focused on the material -- well, he never does, but even less so than usual. You get the sense he has no intention to really work on it at all. He makes some progress, by filling out a couple of tasks you assign as you go, but the planning for the project carries on for maybe only ten minutes before Floyd seems to reach the end of his patience, shuts the textbook, sets it all down on the floor and declares that you're now taking a break.

Before you can even question, he leans forward. His hands grab your sides. He pulls your frozen stiff body over towards him, with a sort of roughness out of impatience. As grabby as he is, you've never been like this before, back pressed to his chest. Both of your legs sprawl out against each other, his extending beyond yours.

More importantly, you can feel a stiffness digging into your tailbone.

A few more moments pass in quiet.

....

...What now? He's not sure. Is there a certain way you're supposed to start? The obvious steps have been taken... meh. No point in worrying about it. Even if there is a different way you're supposed to do this, you won't mind. Probably.

You stiffen. But, even though your mind commands your body to do reach up and grab his hands, your arms won't move. They stay limp at your sides. Your legs won't move to scramble up and away from him. Your mouth can't form the word stop. You stammer out something else you can manage, a quick plea to h-hold on, wait... what are...?

He rests his chin on your shoulder. Eh... It's normal to do stuff like this at this point, you know... 's been months.

He says it in a whiny tone of voice. Like it's a source of frustration. Like you're doing some misdeed by having taken so long already, like it's something he's owed that he's been unnecessarily patient to wait for. You suppose that probably is how he sees it.

That's when his earlier conclusion clicks with you. The pieces sort of align on their own in your mind. That he likes you - yeah, you gathered that at this point. That's become outright obvious. But this entire time - this entire time - he has apparently been under the belief that you have, despite never establishing such, been in an actual relationship.

And you, you might as well be stuck. You open your mouth again, but whatever you were instinctively about to say must have fallen under the realm of being too defiant. You can squirm and sort of try to pull away, so you know there must be a line drawn somewhere on what you can do, but your body won't allow you to push him back, to stand up, to try and fully move away. You can only writhe around just enough as would be normal for this sort of situation in a consensual context.

His movements are awkward. You can tell he has no idea what he's doing. He's just sort of operating on a mentally crafted step-by-step tutorial based on his average knowledge compiled from socialization and movies and exposure to erotic content.

Since that seems to be necessary first... you're almost a bit surprised, caught off-guard by it, but he awkwardly grabs the back of your head, turns your head towards him, cranes his neck forward, presses your mouths together. It's uncomfortable and clueless, your teeth clack against each other's and the angle is a bit off, so your jaws bump against each other too. Not that he really seems to notice, or maybe just doesn't care too much. It only lasts for a few moments before you're roughly thrown down flat on your back. Your arms get entangled and you accidentally elbow him as you try to shift around.

Still, albeit awkward, he's not hesitant or reluctant, not like the type of guy who jolts at every movement you make out of nervousness and constantly asks if it's okay, no, not like that at all. Whatever nervousness he has is still minimal compared to the average guy, he's more apathetic to your discomfort and far more easily overridden by impulse. In fact, the fact that he has no idea what he's doing makes it infinitely worse. He pushes your legs back way too far, to the point of pain, awkwardly angled. Gawks at the space between your legs like it's mesmerizing, using his thumbs to harshly spread you apart, without considering the discomfort it causes you, not relenting when the pulling sensation makes you inhale a sharp breath.

He doesn't take time to be slow, to savor the moment or anything, just pushes in way too quickly, basically grabbing your hips and jerks his own forward in one quick movement. The first few movements in and out are also awkward and oddly angled, but he seems to get adjusted quickly.

More importantly, the moment he does get adjusted, completely out of the blue and without hesitation, he leans down, opens his mouth, and sinks his teeth into your neck.

Given the razor-sharp teeth he has, it immediately punctures the flesh, and you squeal and thrash at the pain. Even as he lets go, there's a strong stinging in each of the tiny wounds, a ring of pain in the perfectly-spaced bite pattern left behind.

Heheh...

You look up at him as he chuckles, your vision blurred by tears, but even so, you can see the amusement on his face... and your blood on his teeth as he smiles.

It's really nice when you make that sound.

He pauses to swipe his tongue across his teeth, and swallows before adding,

Do it again.

He lowers his head and for a moment you panic at the thought of another bite... this time, thankfully, he just laps his tongue at the wounds, but the sting makes you squeal again all the same. Your legs thrash and kick in the air, you try and squeeze them shut, but that just makes them wrap around his torso. Your insides clamp down on the intrusion inside you.

You don't get bitten again, thankfully, but he continues to lap at the bite the whole time. It's a constant mix of pleasure and pain, both to your poor abused neck as well as your insides. You'd be lying if you said you didn't find yourself making some involuntary noises of pleasure, that you didn't wrap your arms around him and claw at his back... but you also squeal and whimper and shudder, tears fall from your eyes. He doesn't slow down, regardless, seemingly too lost in the feeling to really notice.

On the bright side, it doesn't take very long. You suppose that's expected, given his age and apparent experience level. In the end, you find yourself laying there, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the events of the past few hours, the past few weeks, rethinking your entire series of choices that led up to this point... wishing every possible curse and misfortune upon the other two mer that you can think of. You can't get them out of your mind either, and your face feels hot when you think about the fact that, given the absence of Jade in his own room at night, they both probably know exactly what's been transpiring here. It makes you grind your teeth, curl your hands into fists.

But a hand waving in front of your face draws you out of your thoughts. Something is presented in front of you, placed into your hand.

You gotta swallow one of these... don't have money for a kid yet.

Ah. So that's why he went to the school pharmacy. You feel irritation bubble up when you remember you're absolutely certain that...

Don't they sell condoms too?

He nods. Yeah. But everyone says that those don't feel good, so I didn't get any.

You bite your tongue.

Of course, him buying that also confirms he already planned this out well ahead of time. Not that that really strikes you as a surprise. You just feel numb.

In your misery, laying there, you tell yourself one thing, one small comfort to take solace in: at least this is rock bottom. It really can't get any worse from here.

But, well, at this point, you're pretty sure you upset the will of the universe or something, because it seems to want to prove you wrong.

Something about that night seems to sort of jump-start him. Like pouring raw gasoline on a weak flame and watching it flare up.

Your life changes further still, after that night. Before, you at the very least had the solace of solitude at the end of each day, the comfort of being able to return to your own room, your own living space, eat and bathe and sleep by yourself, a sort of retreat from the otherwise omnipresent menace in your life, a brief reprieve to collect yourself and prepare to face the next day with him all over again.

Now, you don't even get that. You thought maybe it would be occasional that he'd want to stay with you, or at least you hoped, but no. Rather than a slow progression, from that first time onward, he sees it as the natural progression of things that you should now immediately begin spending every single night together. You feel a part of you die inside when he asks you at the end of the school day, do you wanna stay in my place again, or yours? I wanna see your place too...

You finally oblige, which turns out to be much to your annoyance. He wanders all around your dorm room, nosily asking about or looking through every little thing. In the end, though, he prefers you stay in his place. All his stuff is there, you know, more convenient (he says this, but somehow it fails to occur to him that the inverse is probably true for you, or maybe he just doesn't care). Still, seeing as you live by yourself and he does not, you end up spending more nights in your room anyway.

He becomes, to an unprecedented degree, jealous of anything you spend your time doing that doesn't involve him. He more or less pressures you into quitting the club you were involved in. It's at a really bad time and all... and it's not even a useful thing anyway, and I don't know any of those people there, they could be bad, you know... If necessary to deter you to quit, he even goes so far as to imply you're not good at it, and therefore should do something else! You know, something that can be done sitting at the side of the gym while he finishes up his club activities, within his range of sight. He usually leaves the basketball club early these days anyway, wandering off after remembering you're over there and consequently getting his mind to racing and leading him to think about far more fun things that he could be doing if he were with you in his room instead.

Then, it's not just your former club members, but anyone you text or call. He hates you getting phone calls. At least with texting, he can ask questions, but on a phone call, what, you're telling him he's supposed to just sit there and stay quiet? Ugh. Even then, he's usually tugging on your arm after the first few minutes, giving you a pouty expression of frustration so you try to hang up faster, and, if it goes on for longer than three or so minutes, he'll just start blatantly taking over you to whine that you're taking too long.

He doesn't like you eating without him, or taking showers without him either. He's seen enough movies and observed enough couples to know that you're supposed to do those together, right? So, on the occasion that he's busy with work, be sure not to do either or those without him. He'll just make you take a second shower with him again anyway, if you take one by yourself.

Thus, your only reprieve now is the classes you don't have with him. From the moment you wake up, all the classes you have with each other, your breaks, your lunch, your afternoons, your dinners, your evenings, your nights, your sleep, every single second besides that time is completely consumed by Floyd. Your grades take a steep decline; they already had begun to slightly, but now, he gets annoyed whenever you study for more than a few minutes, and insists it's not that important, that you're never gonna use the information anyway, so you should just put that book down and come play a game or get in bed with him instead. That's way more fun. At first it's merely a whine, but if you should insist, his expression gets darker, his tone deeper, as he tells you a second time to stop being annoying and come do something with him NOW. Of course, if you oblige, he can snap right back to a good mood, though.

You don't spend time with others either. You lose contact with most of your friends. You off-handedly mentioned trying to hang out with them, that he could come to, but he always manages to say nah, I don't feel like it in such a tone that communicates what he really means: that he doesn't like you having people you're so close to, that he doesn't want you to like them more than you do him, that he doesn't like how happy you seem with them... but hey, you can still hang out every day at the Mostro Lounge. He lets you sit there while he works, you even are allowed to get a drink a day for free (a generous offer considering the owner's stingy tendencies), and you can do your studying there too before going home for the day.

He tries to get you to interact with Jade and Azul a bit, since they're the only people he trusts with you, but for whatever reason, you're very quiet whenever he brings you around them, and more or less refuse to directly speak to the other two. The three of you besides him tend to exchange these odd glances where you look really upset about something, but thankfully they don't seem bothered. Maybe you're really nervous around new people or something. You'll probably get used to it with time.

He takes some offense to you doing things without him. He has to know whatever is on the screen of your phone or laptop, has to know who you're texting, even has to attend as a very awkward third party whenever you get a partnered project in a different class, where he essentially stands there with an intimidating stare like sort of vigilant watchdog (watcheel?) to ensure... whatever it is he's trying to ensure. As if he thinks the other guy is going to try something with you in the middle of the public courtyard in broad daylight.

Which is a ridiculous notion on its own, but especially seeing as, by this point, people have started talking... it's not as if everyone hasn't noticed the way he's attached to you like glue, and a lot of people witnessed that time he dumped the guy out of the chair next to you in class. If his reputation wasn't already enough that people are intimidated by him, the way he supposedly menacingly stares at everyone that comes up to you quickly becomes well-known. You once even overheard a guy mutter something to another about how he hoped he didn't get partnered with you in class, or else, in his words, Leech might strangle me to death. You also notice that, whenever you're allowed to pick partners even for in-class work, people seem to avoid you like the plague, until the last person left reluctantly has to work with you. People even wave and say hi to you less often than ever, as if by doing so they risk some sort of consequence. People regard you only with nervous glances and a wide berth. It only adds to your feeling of isolation.

You don't get to go anywhere alone by choice either. Sometimes you try. I'm going to the store, I'm gonna go to the mail center real quick, I have to go drop this paper off... Regardless of what it is, he never takes a hint, always just gets up and comes with you, often whining about the matter, as if you're forcing him to go, when in reality you'd give anything just to have five minutes of fresh air to yourself before having to come back to the room, where you'd inevitably be tormented and toyed with for hours on end anyway.

In regards to that... even though he doesn't last very long, he has a lot of stamina, so it's not long before you just go at it again anyhow. You quickly learn that he likes to bite, it's not just a one-time thing. You're covered in tiny little dots, all around your neck, jugular, and collarbones. Even if the uniform allowed for it, you don't own enough turtlenecks to deal with covering it... he likes the look of it, though. You were able to plead against it (you've learned creative ways of asking for things, in this case making comments about how people will see), but he doesn't seem to mind. It's fine if people see, he says, as if whether or not he cares is the issue, not your feelings on it. He doesn't see a reason to have a problem with it. People know about you both, right? So if they see you're all bitten up, they'll just know he did it. The apathy in his tone makes it clear you won't be convincing him not to.

Likewise, especially without being able to outright refuse, you can't deter him from other behaviors you'd prefer he not take either, namely trying to sneak around in public. More than once, as the bells ring and you tell him you're about to be late, seeing that the rest of the students have already begun the clear the halls, he'll grab you by the arm. Eh... we can miss it today. Pulls you into a bathroom or an empty classroom or any other quiet place void of students. Some days he's content with just using your hands on each other, but sometimes, he'll turn you around and push you to lean your upper half against the wall, and shoves himself inside you right then and there. In the library, tucked away in the far empty corners, sometimes in exchange for agreeing to actually study, he'll just have you sit on his lap the whole time... sheathed inside you all the while. He seems far less concerned than you about the risk of people walking by as you are. In fact, it becomes very clear he finds your worry about that to be amusing.

He gets off to you squirming, too. It doesn't even need to be in intercourse either. He can (and not infrequently does) just have you sit in his lap, back pressed to his chest, legs pulled apart and arms held behind your back. He likes to pinch and pull and tweak and squeeze at your nipples, your clit. Just for fun. Sometimes when you're not expecting it at all, too, it'll be fairly gentle (to the extent he can be, so more like harsh movements, just no deliberate acts of pain just yet), and you'll be thinking maybe this time you can finally get a day in where you just do things the normal way before you squeal at the sudden sharp pinch of pain that makes your body jolt.

You suppose it's some sort of predator impulse, like a fish struggling in the maw of the moray. The mer likely retain some of that, or such is your reasoning. That's why, whenever you tense up and squeal and shudder and squirm and pull your hips away, his body seems to react as if having pulled some sort of trigger. Latching his arms around you more fully, squeezing your body tight, so so so tight you can't breathe. Each little sound you make makes him move harder and faster, the faint sting of skin slapping against skin growing stronger and the sound of it growing louder as well. It always leaves you sore inside. You always tell yourself to remain still, try not to squirm around, but you really can't help it, your body naturally reacts to the slamming, blunt pain on your insides whenever he moves. That part isn't a matter of intentionally causing pain, he just... doesn't really know how to be gentle. Just shoves himself inside of you and jerks his hips, which is often a stinging friction when it's so sudden, and his cock matches his body -- that is, long -- and thereby pushes so deep inside it hits spots that send sparks of pain down your spine as well. The squirming is really involuntary, then, but when you squirm, it just makes him go harder, and the cycle continues until you're lying there spent and sore, his arms wrapped around your body to hold you firmly in place.

His arms are always locked onto you, both during and after, and often times whenever you're just sitting around the room as well. And especially when you sleep, he latches on tight, a grip like iron as pulls you in and locks your bodies together. You're not sure why he does it so much, but it often inhibits you from moving, and gets annoying fast. You chalk it up to being another mer tendency. His fingers tend to curl too, though, and his nails dig into your arms and stomach and back wherever he's holding you, so you have to wake him up to get it to relent, if but for a short time.

He likes to use his fingers a lot, actually. There's a lot of casual sexual activity with him, where you'll be sitting doing something else, watching a movie, studying, anything... but he feels the need to have you sitting on his lap, with his fingers either playing with your body, buried inside one or more of your holes, or both. He really likes trying to get you to squirt, it's something of a sport for him, like he's always trying to make you do so harder than last time.

Heh... look, it shot out all over the place.

He's shameless about it. And gross, at least in your opinion, because he has this penchant for consuming, too. Whenever he pulls his fingers out, all coated in slick, he has absolutely no hesitation before popping them into his mouth, seems to genuinely savor licking it all off. Sometimes he prefers to just sort of kneel down (of shuffle downwards if you're laying down), and shove his face against your quim instead, sucking at the fluid directly (while it would be an enjoyable sensation with almost anyone else, you can't help but always get a spike of panic in your chest whenever you think about those teeth of his getting so close to such sensitive parts). He makes sure to leave a bite on the inside of your thigh occasionally, too. Even if your body reflexively tries to maneuver to angle yourself away from his mouth (to the extent that you can manage to do, as you can't fully pull away due to your spellbound state), his hands will reach out, latch onto your hips, fingernails like needles against your flesh, and pull you back with an aggressive firmness.

It never lasts, though. In terms of sex, he always has a selfish streak to him, never does anything just for your sake. So even then, after tonguing you for some time, he still always, always, always has to have his cock in you too, by the end of it, often abruptly stopping out of sudden impatience and flipping you over onto your stomach and get inside you... it's easier to grab onto and control your body in that position.

You did get him to wear a condom once too... for all of about eight seconds before he shoved himself inside you, hesitated a moment before pulling back out and tearing it off before shoving back inside you again. No way. Just take the pill thing instead. You remind yourself to try and find some other birth control measures in the near future.

In fact, you once thought that maybe you could go to the school's pharmacy by yourself, in what turned out to be one of your biggest occurrences of regret since meeting him. In the past, before you ever became... that close, before he really started taking over your life, you would sometimes do things on your own, right? You would often skirt the contractual circumstances of not needlessly avoiding him by instead waiting to accomplish things you needed to get done, during times he'd be looking for you... sure, he'd usually be whiny and gripe about how he couldn't find you, but it was bearable. So, one day, as you sit at the lounge in the afternoon, after taking a look around to ensure the coast is clear, you vacate your usual seat, quietly making your way out the door and down to the school pharmacy. You put your phone on silent, out of some combination of spite and wanting to enjoy your brief outing without interruption, even if he gets grouchy about it. With any luck, if you're only gone less than a half hour or so, he might not even notice before you get back. Besides, he was upset when you left that time you went to talk to Jade and Azul, but he wasn't too upset... although it's been a while since then, and he's even more attached now... still.

Walking around by yourself almost feels foreign, it's been so long. But it feels wonderful, such a relief to not have to entertain conversation or worry about not paying enough attention to the thorn in your side. You go in, grab a few things (might as well try all those contraceptive methods they have). The employees are thankfully licenced older adults, not your peers, which would be far more awkward... and hey, might as well hit the primary school store while you're right there at it. You try to be conscious of the time, but still linger... it won't hurt. You won't be gone long. The store sells that one junk food you're really fond of and haven't had in a long time... oh, they have a lot of it in stock, too. You get a few packages, check out, turn to walk out the door and make your way back.

You pause to grab some of the pieces out of the packaging and pop them into your mouth. Your head is downturned when everything in your field of vision gets darker. Shadow from something behind you. You go stiff. You feel a sense of dread as you slowly turn your head. You force a smile, but it twitches.

...O-oh, I was about to head back to you... did you... need something...?

He doesn't look mad. But that's what makes it more terrifying. If he's irked, it'll show on his face, he'll get that whiny voice and complain and pout. But his face is blank, wide-eyed, staring intently at you, quiet.

I tried calling you.

You don't like the tone of his voice, either. Cold and ominous. Not fumingly angry or irritated, but that much more dreadful due to the lack of intense emotion.

Oh, uh, sorry about--

You didn't say anything.

Well, I-I, I was just going to the--

I looked around for you everywhere.

Your heart starts to beat faster. You've never seen him quite like this, not towards you. You take a step back. I'm sorry, really. Let's... let's go back now, okay?

...No, I already told 'em I was leaving... I'm done for the day.

He grabs your wrist and pulls with harsh force, dragging you across the campus grounds. You stumble, you nearly drop your things. His grip is so tight it's painful. Even some other people turn their heads to stare, it must be that noticeable. You don't like how quiet he is, saying nothing the entire time. Through the courtyard, as you enter the dorm grounds, into the halls, all the way back to the room, he doesn't say a word. Drags you through the door, locks it behind him, pulls you over to the bed and slings you by the arm with such force it knocks the breath out of you as you hit the bed. You don't get to fully sit upright before the mattress shifts again, and he comes to sit behind you, roughly pulling you to sit on the bed with your back to his chest, which is, as you've come to learn, his preferred position when doing most things.

And as usual, he wraps his arms around your body. Without a word.

Tightly.

His forearms cross over your chest, fully wrapping around your frame. The hold gets tighter.

And tighter. And tighter. You sit quietly for a few minutes, stiff with dread and unease at his unsettling lack of words or any outward display of emotion. You're unsure if you should say anything. Maybe he's waiting for you to say something? But even though you're uneasy, you wouldn't know what to tell him, and you're certainly not about to apologize for doing something so normal, something you should be allowed to do without needing him to even be told.

But his grip gets tighter. It starts to hurt. It's compressing your ribs.

You start to panic. Hey, can you not grip so hard? It's... kinda hard to breathe...

He doesn't say anything. A few moments pass.

It gets tighter.

F-Floyd, you're -- you're hurting me--

Tighter, tighter. You can barely breathe. You start to thrash.

Floyd, I -- s-stop--

You feel trembling. It takes you a few moments to realize it's not from your body, but his. Holding you so tight, with such strain to his muscles, it makes him shiver.

He finally speaks. Uses that little nickname you hate so much. His voice is hoarse and quiet, almost a whisper, and hollow, without emotion. As if speaking of something of no consequence.

...I was really worried, you know. Thought maybe you were tired of me... and decided to go to someone else instead.

You shake your head. You sputter out something about how that's wrong, that you wouldn't do that. You don't even really process the words you say, just desperately try to placate.

His grip doesn't relent just yet.

...Hey, you like me, right? And not anyone else?

You nod frantically. Your chest convulses as you try and fail to breathe. You're beginning to feel tingly all over, your head feels light.

So... you're not gonna do that again, right?

You frantically nod, but the motion comes out slower than you intend, as you struggle to move.

...Mm... okay.

You gasp in what might be the biggest gulp of air you've taken in your life as the grip goes lax. You start to hack and cough. He hands you a bottle of water. How considerate.

And then, it's as if nothing happened. He's smiling, says something about how you look really funny, swaying and dizzy like that. Upbeat and pleasant again. But he's really tired from worrying so much, so, he drags you down to lay on your side and declares you'll both nap for a while. He falls asleep quickly, but you're in too much pain from your throbbing stomach and ribcage to sleep... and you're very uneasy having his arm wrapped around you again. You don't sleep much that night at all.

You make good on your word, though, and don't have a repeat incident. From his point of view, even in general, you're really easy to get along with, and he's glad you're super agreeable. Who knew having a girlfriend was so easy? It's very nice. You never reject anything he says, at least not more than once, you always agree after he insists on something. If he suggests you go somewhere, you always say sure. And if he says he's bored and wants to do this or that, you always drop whatever you're doing and follow along. And if he tells you to not talk to someone, to cancel some other plans, to skip class and stay in bed, you never even argue, you just say alright. Sometimes your eyes widen, sometimes your face twitches or your hand will fly up to cover your mouth, sometimes you even answer through gritted teeth and a strained voice, as if trying to not say anything... and you get this weird expression on your face for a moment... but you're still always agreeing, so, he just decides to think nothing of that.

You used to not be quite as agreeable, but these days, you never argue, you always do whatever he wants. It's like a dream come true.

And he's really, genuinely happy. Even other people comment on it, say he's matured a lot and stuff like that, because he's not as moody as he used to be... well, not to them, at least not as often. He's a bit more laid back on some things... although if it involves you, he can still return to his habits, but people have sort of learned that, and consequently learned to avoid upsetting him in regards to you. If you yourself upset him, he can still flip like a light switch, but you don't seem to mind that. Sure, there's been a couple times you've tried to bring it up, but the moment he says anything in return to argue against it, your mouth twitches, you suddenly agree with him and stop saying mean stuff. Maybe you just want attention and pretend to be upset or something. Regardless, he doesn't really care too much... his life is in a state of bliss, and that's enough for him.

Other people are quite happy you've "helped him calm down" too. People seem pretty happy for the two of you in general, say it's an odd fit, but it's cute, and stuff like that.

...And sometimes, whenever you're sitting in class, sitting in the Mostro Lounge, in the library, walking across campus, anywhere... you'll see a familiar face from across the room, near identical to the face you spend nearly every waking second of your life around. He doesn't even bother to pretend to not be looking, doesn't look away when you make eye contact, but instead always continues to observe, and flashes you a knowing, sinister smile. Just checking up on you every now and then and all... and to serve as a reminder to behave according to your agreement.

You do you best to give the most loathsome look of disgust you can muster in return. It's really all you can do.

#nominating Jade and Azul for wingman of the century award #plot twist it was all just to have someone else to watch him and keep him out of trouble to make their lives easier lmao #yandere twisted wonderland #floyd x reader #man i got carried away this is 17k words lmao #I have many feelings for him (get it.... fEELings... Im sorry) #hes like the epitome of that tweet thats like #'they say 'what no pssy does to a mf' but ive seen what pssy does to a mf and its worse'

[thana-topsy]

Hello! I hope this isn't too much of a loaded question, but do you have any general tips for writing? I'd like to give fanfic writing a shot at some point.

Not at all! I'm always happy to talk shop about writing! As far as general tips go, there are some things that I think everyone could benefit from, so I'll try to condense my opinions and suggestions into A Numbered List. (We'll limit it to 5 suggestions for now).

Read Actively I mean this in the sense of really chewing on whatever it is you're reading. Dig into the meat of That One Paragraph and look for things you enjoy, things that tickle your brain. I'll give an example from something I read recently, which is our lovely @kookaburra1701's newest story "Aristeia" "They crested the final hillock; Mor Khazgur dominated the shallow valley below. When she had been younger, Borgakh had often imagined the longhouse was a lazy cat asleep on a bright green rug, curled up against the rocks of the Druadach Mountains. When the stronghold’s goats were pastured in the glade, they played the role of mice scurrying about under the cat’s nose." I was just ENAMORED by this passage. The whimsy, the rhythm of some the repeating consonants -- stronghold's goats, glade -- and just the imagery it drummed up, reminding me of those fanciful imaginings of my own childhood. So don't just read a lot, but read actively. Read works that inspire you, authors that impress you, and subject matter that's similar to the type of stuff you want to be writing. And think about why you like the things your like, and draw that inspiration into your own writing. Imitate your heroes until you're no longer imitating and it's just how you write.

Accept Constructive Criticism This one is always a challenge in the beginning. The Ego is a powerful little devil, and it'll try to confuse you. It'll tell you that your value is tied to the words on the page. But I'm here to tell you that YOU are NOT the words on the page. Take an objective stance on your prose and your plot. Everyone starts somewhere and (hopefully) nobody ever stops learning or improving. NOTE: Notice I said constructive criticism. This does not mean you should let people tear your work into shreds in bad faith. Listen to people who want to see you improve and also find joy in the craft of writing.

Read Your Writing Out Loud This is kind of self-explanatory. You'll get a really good feel for your own rhythm and flow VERY easily this way. And you'll catch almost any mistakes right away.

Cut All Unnecessary Words This is getting into the technical side of things, but why not? One of the first books I read on the craft of writing (whose title unfortunately escapes my mind at the moment) contained this advice, and it is STILL something I struggle with. Obviously, when you have a character with a specific voice, sometimes they get flowery in their internal speech and observations. I'll use Aiden as an example: "The fort loomed over them, massive and severe. Aiden attempted to judge the architecture and found he wasn’t quite sure what race or nation could have possibly built it. Or when it was built, for that matter. Second era, perhaps? The design seemed more Breton than Nord: austere, angular, and formal. But so close to the Velothi mountains, it could have been Imperial."  I bolded words that don't actually add anything of value to the descriptions here. We lose nothing by cutting them out. But they're how Aiden thinks about the world around him. So I keep them to give shape to his internal processing. I'd say to try to write without these kinds of flavor words first, then start adding them in. Learn the rules before you break them, or break the habit before it becomes the ONLY way you write.

Write Every Day This one is tough in the beginning, but it's so crucial to becoming a better writer. WRITE. EVERY. DAY. Even if it's just 200 words, do it. Make it your little morning ritual or evening wind-down. Pick a time that's just for you and your words. Close all your tabs, put your phone on silent, and just write. Be alone with the world that you are trying to create. And soon enough, you'll find that you can't go a day without writing something. And what a joy that is.

That's my list! I hope you found these tips useful! I also recommend reading books on the craft of writing, too.

Best of luck on your journey! You have infinite possibilities before you.

#topsy's asks #writing meta #writing advice #on writing #fanfiction #fanfic meta

[t-he-art-of-beauty]

Season 1 is actually so good? Flint’s character development in it is stellar? The first few episodes are a bit cryptic, they show us the vibes, the major players, the environment, the setting, they set the plot into motion and establish the first main goal, the Urca de Lima, as a step stone to the larger end goal of a safe and stable Nassau independent from England, but Episode 7 is when we really get going. Some extremely fundamental things happen for Flint which set him on a path to so many of his later decisions and to the central and extremely important Flint-Silver relationship.

There are three essential and amazing scenes happening in rapid succession: 1. Hal confronting Flint about Billy and the letter. 2. Flint confronting Miranda about the letter. 3. Eleanor finding Flint drinking in the tavern.

All these three scenes are in some way about Flint’s desperation throughout his entire journey to find someone who loves him not despite what he believes, not despite his ambitions to change the world by sheer willpower, but for them. Who shares them, who shares his obsession. To feel the rush of what he had with Thomas again. Because that was when he learned to love and be loved like that and that love is what has kept him alive so far and while he likes to pretend (probably also to himself) that his ambitions are just for the better of everyone, deep down he is also just scrambling to keep Thomas’ memory alive.

Now Hal breaks their partnership off by expressing disbelief that Flint is actually interested in the common good of the pirates. He twists his finger into the wound that Thomas’ plan and by extension Flint’s ideals never considered: Should they even be the arbiter of others’ fates, are the people he wishes to govern over so unable to choose their own path in a constructive way? Do they really know better? Hal realizes Flint has never truly seen him or the pirates of Nassau in general as his equals and the rush of being caught up in the captain’s grandeur (and I mean… attractiveness all around) just doesn’t outweigh the energy it takes to uphold the cognitive dissonance anymore.

“Is that what you are to us now. A sovereign. Levying a tax.”

Next is Miranda. She comes right for the underlying drive of grief, revenge and the desperate attempt to keep a memory alive by building a “safe, righteous, self-determined home” for the now fractured and incomplete Hamilton-McGraw triad, wrapped in it Flint’s identity as a queer man. At this point Flint assumes that she is the one to understand this, to truly grasp what this means to Flint and share this (given the Maria Aleyne history it’s understandable that he has held onto this assumption). But she denies sharing the vision, expresses her frustration and loneliness and goes for the final punch by sharing how she remembers and interprets Thomas’ perspective on the situation.

“This path you’re on. It doesn’t lead to what you think it does. If he were here, he’d agree with me!”

At this point Flint, for the first time in the show, is shown actually doubting himself. The two people he has been closest to and trusted the most in his time in Nassau so far have drawn back their support, have attacked two core tenets of his ambition. The scene with Eleanor merely puts a band-aid on the situation. Her blessing, her understanding of his drive is important structurally, because she is a vital political partner, but I do not believe it means as much to him. There is a really interesting moment full of actual (sexual? romantic?) tension or rather potential there, but it ends with a forehead kiss. Flint appreciates the partnership and deeply respects her, but probably more from a parental perspective, she isn’t truly an equal, based on life experience and age alone. But things are already in motion, the show must go on, the band-aid will have to suffice.

“Perhaps a little doubt in me is called for.” “What happened out there?” “Tell me, we’re not crazy you and I?” “Crazy?” “To put ourselves through all of this when the outcome is so uncertain?” “The outcome is only uncertain for those who disbelieve.”

The hole ripped in Episode 7 is essential for all further developments, it opens space for Silver to become an important person in his life, it opens space for him to reconsider trying a path involving pardons, as in season 2. It also foreshadows or mirrors or just resonates with how all these relationships around Flint ultimately end: Eleanor scraps her ambitions for love, Silver scraps Flint’s and Madi’s ambitions for love, even if he is reunited with Thomas in the end he is never truly reunited with the feeling he chased the entire time: Being loved for his ambition, by somebody who shares it, facing the world and shaking his fist at it, believing change is possible and yet not having to be alone.

What a lonely place to be in.

[image descriptions

image 1: Close-Up/Over the Shoulder Screenshot of Hal Gates in conversation with Flint. A bald pirate looking down with a somber and concerned expression.

image 2: Close-Up screenshot on Captain Flint, glinting eyes, in the midst of his desperate plea to Hal. He’s a red-haired & bearded man with a desperate, pleading expression.

image 3: Miranda Hamilton and Captain Flint in their house on Nassau, both are seen from behind, Flint is about to leave through the front door, Miranda is leaning towards him in the foreground, calling after him.

image 4: over the shoulder screenshot on Flint, looking at Eleanor Guthrie with a somber expression, pinched eyebrows, slightly opened mouth, almost considering.]

#flint #black sails #meta #bs #i might have to share my more detailed ramblings on each separate scenes at a later point... #arghhhhhhhh #eleanor #miranda #pirate media #hal gates #me

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

So...

Do you guys know that thing about creative writers with ideas (plot bunnies) and how they always seem to multiply one after the other? That's me with Twisted Wonderland AUs. I can't help it! The series just reminds me of all the stories I loved as a kid, with characters that had depth and / or developed or we got to learn more about--even if it was stupid little things they do in their everyday life! I've grown to appreciate it in ways I never imagined I could any form of media. ;;v;;

To be honest...this game has given me the creativity to consistently create and build upon ideas, and the support you all have given me has meant so much. I can't thank you all enough for sticking with me for so long, and for sending me all the ideas or scenarios you all have been daydreaming of. ;;v;;

So I wanted to give a bit of an update on a few things I'm going to do with the blog:

1) Create a rules page. I've gone far too long without updating my original set, and I feel it's long overdue 😂 Plus, it'll help me keep track of certain things!

2) Go back through and update the links on the Masterlists with posts I may have missed. I didn't realize that some things I was referencing in some of my latest posts (aka the grape incident in the monster!AU) were missing, so I'm gonna comb through my posts and make sure I label and organize them easier for you guys to find (and for me to refresh myself on what I write)!

3) Answering asks (of course). Things are a little slow going and my muse has been getting finicky with me, but I will make sure I get to everyone's asks! Some I may answer because they're quick and easy, others...I may end up getting an idea for something more expansive, so that'll take a bit longer. 😅

And finally, 4) Introducing a(nother) AU:

Twisted Wonderland!Mermaid AU!!!

Honestly, this started because I got inspired by the artwork by this artist here where they drew the characters based on Floyd's nicknames for them, and it started as a Marine Biologist AU where Yuu is a marine biologist and taking care of the mermaid bois (all 22 boys + one fire-breathing cat) buuuuuut...at the moment, Yuu getting shipwrecked and living on the island with the mermaid boys wouldn't leave me alone. 😂

As well as an idea where Yuu is a full-blooded Kaiju/born a Kaiju and has Land Before Time like adventures because I got emotional at baby Littlefoot hatching, but who's counting the ideas? Certainly not me!

Anyway, I wanted to share a snippet of the prologue I have written that's currently under construction, so the final product may differ. I'm honestly really excited about this AU too, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do~ ;;v;;

Snippet under a read-more because this post is going to be long anyway 😂 Enjoy!

Oh, and if I need to tag it a certain way for future posts, please let me know and I'll be sure to add them!

//////------------//////

If anyone were to ask Yuu what they were going to be doing over the summer, they likely would have told them: catch up on their reading, or playing video games, or any number of different things they had planned. Even just relaxing at home or on the beach would have been an enticing offer.

A scuba diving trip was not something they expected to get dragged into.

“First time diving?”

“Was it that obvious?” Yuu asked, one hand gripping the bar on the seat next to them until their knuckles were white while the other kept hold of the oxygen tank sitting in front of their flippered feet.

“Yeah…kinda obvious for a first timer,” the instructor said with a chuckle, the man giving them a reassuring pat. “It can be a bit nerve-wracking for new divers, but you’ll be fine. You’re one of the contest winners, right?”

“I put my name in as a joke, I didn’t think I’d actually win!” Peering over the edge of the railings, Yuu couldn’t make out anything in the dark water. “I…thought we were going to dive near the shallows closer to land. What are we doing so far out?” they asked, swearing they saw a big shadow pass by…only to realize it was the ship’s frame reflecting on the water.

“I know we’re a lot further out than we normally would for first time divers, but we had problems with our normal ship and the only one that was available was this ship a couple of marine biologists were using.”

“…why didn’t you just cancel and set it for another day?”

“Try telling that to my bosses,” the man muttered under his breath before the smile was back on his face. “Anyway, I think this will be a fun change to the program! These biologists are actually working to explore the reactions of marine life to musical instruments, and we’ll get to see it firsthand ourselves!”

Before Yuu could respond, the ship came to a stop and the driver said, “We’re here! You folks ready to go diving while we get set up? There’s a coral reef not far below us, so you’ll have plenty of time to sightsee.”

“Yup! Okay, so let’s go over the basics again, and I’ll make sure your gear is on properly.”

Yuu listened nervously as the instructor walked through each procedure and rule of diving, the wetsuit sticking tightly to their body as the tank weighed heavily on their back. This was not how they imagined their first time scuba diving would be—they could barely even make out the shore from a wave in the distance. Finally—with mask secured and breathing apparatus in—the instructor gave them a reassuring nod…before falling backwards into the water with a  ‘sploosh!’. For a brief moment they froze, but the motion of the ship and the weight on their back knocked them off balance and forced them backwards.

Fwoosh!!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland mermaid au #twst mermaid au #Faun has lots of ideas and not enough patience to sit and focus on one without burning out #but seriously thank you all so much #you’ve all made me remember why I loved writing and finding that spark I thought I had lost years ago to perfectionism ;;v;;

[separatist-apologist]

I didn't want to hijack someone else's post, but an anon sent @booknerd87 an ask about lightsingers HERE and I wanted to add something to it (given I, too, was sent an anon about SA and Gwyn today).

The thing about the lightsinger theory is that a lightsinger itself isn't problematic by itself. Creatures who lure unsuspecting victims to their deaths is nothing new in mythology, and if SJM wanted to inject this into her narrative seriously, she certainly would have a lot to draw from.

The theory become inherently problematic AND harmful when two things get connected that in the source material, have no connection. Gwyn, a survivor of brutal sexual assault, gets connected to a creature that lures people with its beauty/voice/whatever. This connection is made because Nesta is drawn to the beauty of her voice. You could say, "Oh. Well Gwyn is a beautiful singer and Nesta love hers AND Nesta loves music, and in this moment the two things are converging for her. Nesta has denied herself any and all things that bring her joy all through ACOSF, and in this moment she's indulging in new friendship and the sound of something beautiful, and this moment is meaningful toward Nesta's journey toward self-forgiveness."

Which, I'd argue, was the point of that scene.

Or you could say, "the sexual assault survivor is using her sexy magic to lure people for nefarious purposes, regardless if she means to or not."

When this theory first popped up, it WAS intentional- and then the backlash came and it was softened to, well maybe she doesn't even realize it, but she is probably still doing it, as explanation for why Azriel finds her interesting or is drawn to her. Ignoring all the convoluted plot twists needed to make this theory exist outside of AO3- it plays on the real life stereotype of the too-sexy survivor asking for it.

This is where fantasy and real-life intersect. In our current society, the question is too often, what did they do to bring this on themselves? What were they wearing? Drinking? Why were they out so late, why didn't they scream/yell- and because they didn't do things exactly right, well...maybe they lured this person into thinking it was wanted. Their clothes signaled something. Or maybe their expression, the way their body is shaped, etc. Their attacker couldn't help themselves, they were powerless in the wake of their victims tight jeans.

And now you've got people constructing a villain narrative around this trope. People wonder (out loud) if it even happened (despite both Azriel and Mor walking in on it, and Rhys believing her- a dude who can read minds), and then also wonder if she isn't luring Nesta and Azriel toward some nefarious end game goal. And lets be clear- this is an opinion borne of a shipping war and not canon text or four intelligent brain cells. SJM has stated Gwyn is based on her real life friend, and ya'll think she'd borrow her friends story of SA and triumph and then turn around and make that friend her villain? When SJM has NEVER ONCE written a two-dimensional villain?

Get real. I'm begging this fandom to grow up and chill out. Ya'll weaponize real life issues and no matter how many times I keep breaking this down and reminding people that just because you hate a character doesn't mean you get to invalidate the sexual assault they experience AND that when you do this, you harm REAL LIFE PEOPLE REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE REAL AND HAVE ACTUAL FEELINGS, someone shows up to argue that actually, it's okay for THEM to do this because their masters degree from Clown University makes them an expert.

No one gives a shit if you don't like characters from a book, and no one cares about your ship. There are tons of reason to prefer a one character over another and like- learn how to just say "I don't like them" and move on with your life. You don't need 500 essays moralizing your opinion to give you some kind of high ground which is, frankly at this point, embarrassing (for you).

#gwyneth berdara #im not tagging anything else #and i will not be arguing this point with anyone #take a minute to self-reflect and consider reading another book if you cant go a day without your shitty opinions on SA #if its not gwyn then its rhys was asking for it #or men cant be SAd by hot women so luciens experience isnt real or maybe didnt even happen #begging this fandom to shut the fuck up #critically examine these books? why dont you critically examine yourself

[its-captain-sir]

u reblogged it from me so 📓 star wars 👁️👁️

oh god there's honestly so many hakfhakdhsks I have been thinking at lot about my old fantasy au though lately so let's talk about that one!

Plot-wise it was supposed to follow Obi-wan, a jedi knight-wizard (jedi in this au are more ronin-like, united by the order but functionally traveling peacekeepers who offer up their services) who's been doing Bad ever since his fellow knight (Anakin) fell under the control of a dark wizard/demon (Palpatine). There was a big fight, forests were burned, squires and animal companions (Ahsoka and R2) were lost, and Obi-wan's entire life basically fell apart. Whoops!

None of that is actually Covered in the fic however cause this story would have focused on him running across Mandalore on his travels and encountering the king and his seven sons (Jango and the clones!), all bearing a curse that so far no one has been able to break. As far as they can tell, it was placed on them by dark wizard who was angry at Jango and hoped to weaken Mandalore, and now each of the sons are bound by a thread only they can see and tugs on it compel them to follow it to its owner or, as they learn later on, can even be used to control them. Upon learning that Obi-wan is skilled with magic (the force basically) and curses in particular, they enlist his help to try to break it before it's too late.

While that's the overarching plot point, lots of other stuff happens in the meantime! Like Ahsoka actually being alive and finding a place for herself in Mandalore as a close friend of Rex! Weird family dinners between all the Fetts that Obi-wan gets included in! Boba being the seventh son of a seventh son and maybe having just a Little more magic of his own than he should and making it everyone else's problem! Angsty moments where an attempt at breaking the curse fails and Cody and Rex are forced to turn against their loved ones! I'm not even scratching the surface here, I had BIG plans for this au.

Eventually it would have culminated with them purposely following the threads to their end and confronting the dark wizard who, surprise! is the same guy that corrupted Anakin (who is still under his control btw). There'd be a pretty large battle between the Fett family + Obi-wan and Ahsoka and Palpatine and Anakin + Palpatine's summoned constructs (the equivalent of battle droids), and tbh I don't think I ever completely got around to deciding what all happens here, but it does end with Cody killing Palpatine, Anakin being released to return to his friends and life, the curse on the Fetts finally broken, and everyone getting rides on a dragon as they all enter a free life from this point on (did I mention I made R2 a dragon? yeah I made him a dragon)

And there you have it I guess! There's honestly a lot more world building and plot points I could have gone into cause I reallyyyyy planned all those kinds of things out when I worked on this more consistently, that stuff was so much fun for me to try to figure out how to translate over from star wars to full fantasy, but this is the basics of it! Now I just sit here and hope that maybe it will actually be a real fic one day hakfhakdjsk

#thank you for allowing me the opportunity to ramble about this it was very fun <3 #asks? #astarionsteeth

[seventeenlovesthree]

Can I ask you another question? This happens to be just an overall view I see from the Digimon community, but why are the personalities of the Digidestined seem almost offensive or wrong to so many people when it comes to Digimon Tri?

I know it may seem inconsistent with the Digidestined from Adventure all the way to Kizuna with Tri thrown in there, but Tri focused more on the negative aspects of a Digidestined’s personality.

Back in there teenage years it to me makes more sense they are showing inconsistencies in character as they are all trying to find out who they are. They are inbetween being children and adults and they are allowed to make mistakes or show that side of themselves at a more extreme level.

Sure it’s kept in check with the other series but raging hormone filled teenagers have to make those mistakes (or learn from others so they don’t repeat them) in order to build character and grow is refreshing and helps. E have more empathy for them.

Aside from their personalities this is what made Digimon so enticing. So that being said, in light of this do you still think that Digimon Tri did each Digidestined a disservice by portraying them as really people that they are nowhere near as?

Tri does get a lot of flack and rightfully so, but this part shouldn’t be one of those reasons.

Sorry for the long winded question. It was only fair I delivered it in context for your answer though.

My ask box is always open and I'm always interested in discussions like this, it doesn't matter if it's a bit more lengthy, because that helps me to understand where you come from yourself a bit better.

Admittedly, I do have my own personal "vendetta" with the way Tri is constructed in several ways - I have my issues with the pacing, the number of plot points, parts of the fanservice, the way the 02 cast was handled... However, I tried to bring up some positivity the other day by listing the majority of my favourite moments (and as I browse through my screenshot folder, there may actually be more I didn't immediately remember).

There are things that grind my gears - but I agree that not everything deserves flack.

My main problem with the characterization and arcs of the characters was mostly that it did feel like "recycled" conflict. Which, as you said yourself, is not NECESSARILY a bad thing, as we're all human, we all have our moments of regression and self-doubt. It IS relatable. There's a reason why this Jyoumi moment is one of my favourites after all:

On the other hand, I simply couldn't shake the feeling that Tri would have worked better if it had taken place between 01 and 02 - or if 02 hadn't existed in this universe in the first place. Because a lot of the conflict and development would have made a lot more sense if it had happened between 01 and 02, simply due to the fact that the majority of the characters already seemed WAY more mature in 02 despite their ages. I understand that writing characters consistently after 02 must have been incredibly difficult because of that - but witnessing Jyou as serene and confident and Yamato as open and dorky as they were in 02, just to see Yamato turn a lot more cold again and Jyou losing a lot of his self-efficacy all over again was just a bit disappointing. And in terms of Koushirou, I just didn't like how MUCH emphasis they put on his "hormones", it took them almost three movies for him to feel like an important character again and he deserves so much more than that. Yes, he had his good moments before that, of course! But he lost a lot of his dignity on his way there (at least in my opinion). It's just not nice to ignore the development they already went through.

I tried to summarize that once in a post before, I hope this will make a little bit more sense!

Upon rewatching a lot of scenes again, I may argue that Taichi (and in parts Sora) was the one I could make most sense of in his/their Tri portrayals after analyzing it for a while - even if their conflicts repeated themselves. I have written several analysis posts on Taichi regressing due to him getting older and struggling to find his path, prioritizing and making difficult decisions to maintain balance and unity, mourning the loss of his "younger self" being more daring (see for example here and here). Sora deals with similar issues after all, as she also struggles with her sense of self, obligation and femininity, unsure whether she can and should make decisions for herself, as a Chosen Child and/or the daughter of an iemoto and that is why she HAS to make uncomfortable (and sometimes even wrong) decisions (see here, here, here and here).

I love Digimon for how deeply I can analyze these characters and, as mentioned, the regressing is human and realistic after all - but at some point, I would just like to see them succeed and overcome their conflicts to at least some degree. Digimon never shied away from NOT writing happy ends for their characters - but with all the suffering they put Taichi through (just for example), it would be almost cruel not to see him get his personal closure at some point.

#meta #my two cents #digimon adventure tri #personal #long post

[wizardnaturalist]

related to the post I just rb'd, but not enough so that I was willing to tack it on:

technical language, as frustrating as it can be to learn, is needed for academic papers not just for purposes of clarity and precision, but also efficiency

you know that thing where some fanfic writers will spend several paragraphs at the beginning of their fic explaining the plot and mechanics of the source material, as though you the reader havent consumed it already? is it not frustrating to wade through unnecessary exposition, telling you things you already know, but unwilling to skip ahead in case theres some detail relevant to the fic buried in there? it's the same with academic papers

let's say for the moment that you are researching the effect of a certain herbicide on the health of crops. you want to find out if it is worth using to kill weeds, or if it will kill farmer joe's corn as well

you have to read dozens, if not hundreds of papers in order to form your well of background knowledge before beginning your research. you need hard data and similar projects and jumping off points to refer to and to reference your own findings against. all of the information you discover will be combined with the current body of information to construct a new conclusion.

now imagine that in every single paper you read, every basic concept of biology was reexplained to you as though you were in high school. every time the author referenced rates of photosynthesis, they took a multichapter tangent to break down its processes, the cell mechanics involved, how it functions in an environment.

and then you finish that and get back to the research, only to be derailed again two sentences later because the author had to explain the concepts of predation and herbivory. and this happens over and over withing a single research paper. and over and over and over with every single paper you have to read. having the word "biosphere" explained to you a hundred times over the course of a single project. and you make your career out of those projects.

and then you have to write your own paper and do the exact. same. thing.

it would be exhausting! dejecting!

yes, there will be words and phrases and concepts in academic papers that non-experts will not immediately understand. but the fact is, these papers are written For the experts, so that they can collaborate and use each others' findings to advance the field.

does that make them frustrating ro read as a beginner or a layman? absolutely! but it also makes academic papers workable for the people who will actually be using and creating them.

fortunately, academic papers are not the only source of information for scientific findings. if the research was published in a major journal such as Science or Nature, or is of relevance to everyday people, then there will be pop science articles breaking it down and explaining it in common vernacular. for more general information, there are thousands of books written to be introductory material for either a discipline as a whole, or for particular subdisciplines.

im not trying to argue that there is nothing wrong with academia, that there is no issue of classism or superiority, or that some academics dont get off to demonstrating how very intelligent they are. but I am saying that there's a reason for specific jargon and saying "just write it simpler!" isnt so easy as you might think

#academia #science

[thedaveandkimmershow]

Sometimes you say out loud what you believe or you write out loud what you believe and then life happens.

Life happens.

And you're forced to assess the validity of what you said out loud or what you wrote out loud.

The "you" in this case, of course, is me. Like, 48 hours ago me.

Whoops.

That's fine, though. It's kind of the point, in fact.

It's kind the point to see if my takeaways from various life experiences hold up over time. Did I learn the right lesson? Have I overlooked something? Is there anything that changes what I think I know.

So.

A coupla days ago I wrote—

Nope.

It was actually yesterday, in fact, that I wrote

"It’s a life that’s also filled with profound beauty and breathtaking experience. With deep friendships and love and curiosity. With laughter and stillness and compassion."

The thing is... a little over 24 hours before I wrote those words, Kimmer's uncle died. Passed away suddenly, barely an hour into Saturday. Middle of the night.

A little over 12 hours later, we're in southern California to help manage the aftermath of that death which is considerable.

Which is how we spent New Years Day. It's how we're gonna spend today.

And it's what we're gonna keep doing until there's no more aftermath with which to deal.

We don't even have return flights booked yet and we're clearing out our schedules on the fly.

So how...

Does that go with a "life that’s also filled with profound beauty and breathtaking experience."

It goes because life is never the one thing. It's never one kind of experience in perpetuity. It's never all good or all bad. And I said that yesterday as well.

Because I know better than to be all sunshine and roses. I know enough to preface the sunshine and roses with the corresponding observation that life "includes all the rollercoastery, whiplashy ups ‘n downs that more or less characterize life in the big leagues."

And boy does it ever.

We have learned from early on in our marriage that life can turn on a dime. We've learned that a lightness of experience can suddenly, inexplicably turn dark. And our intention during those plot twists isn't figuring out how to return or reclaim our peace, our joy, our fun, or our best times.

No.

Our intention is to be our best selves in order to handle the thing that was good that inexplicably went bad. If for no other reason than those circumstances rarely involve just Kimmer 'n I. And even when they do, the most important thing seems to be how we respond to what's happened. What, in fact, is happening.

Because, likely as not, how we respond is the only thing over which we have control.

In our current circumstances, we are not the star players. We're not guest stars, either, in what's unfolding. We're definitely in it.

And right now, this very minute, the most important thing is invoking community. Which we are in a position to do.

Community?

Yeah. It's a lot of things. It can be just us and Kimmer's cousin and nephew. It can be us and Kimmer, her nephew, cousin, and her cousin's friends. It can be us and our own friends. It can temporarily be us and Kimmer's aunt and uncle's friends. It can temporarily be us and the kind professionals taking care of Kimmer's aunt. The ones managing the remains and possessions of Kimmer's uncle. The social services professionals who've been part of this story for quite some time now.

Community.

A construct, of course. But one in which human beings are mutually supportive. Helping each other find their way. Sharing what's happening...

In real-time.

It's personal. Even when the connection is mere moments or minutes.

It's personal.

And it's not alone.

That's the biggest thing.

It's not going through the experience...

Alone.

Because "alone" is a non-starter. It's not doable. It's exactly the ingredient necessary to insure being overwhelmed.

I mean that, by the way: overwhelmed.

Emotionally crushing.

Frozen into a relentless despondency.

Unable to act.

Which is why the how of how we respond is paramount. It's the most important thing.

Because with community, both permanent and temporary, a man can be honored. Grief can be experienced without running wild. And the logistics of death can be managed. The consequences of death can be managed.

It's a completely tall order, if you haven't experienced this or guessed at it yet. All these things that are happening at the same time. You can definitely get a sense of why and how easily all this can overwhelm.

And.

Even as we also live lives "filled with profound beauty and breathtaking experience"... that's a part of the picture, not the picture in its entirety.

Because living life to its fullest?

Yeah.

That also includes how we say goodbye.

#love #friendship #community #death #goodbye #mutual support

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 3: Revenge of the Sith

I finished my prequel re-watch last night with Revenge of the Sith. I liked it pretty well... I think I enjoyed it more than Attack of the Clones. It was similarly too bloated with extraneous action sequences, but not as much so, and I think the overarching plot--Anakin’s turn to the dark side--was better constructed and more interesting than the overarching plot of Ep II: the Anakin and Padme romance. It was very dreary and humorless, except for the weirdly slapstick beginning with the elevator sequence, but I was expecting that.

I really loved the droids in this one, I have to say. All of the battle droids and the weird round things that unfurled and stood on their legs, and the long-nosed dudes who were dumb as posts. And I especially loved the design (and idea) of General Grievous. Very creepy.

Some other thoughts:

Palpatine’s dialogue isn’t subtle but his plan is; it’s actually quite smart, and he’s a good villain. He engineers the war, uses the fear of that war to corrupt the Republic until it can no longer be called a democracy, then paints anyone who mentions that possibility as a traitor; destroys them, and then cleans up all the loose ends. The use of the clones and Order 66 is very chilling a well, and he manipulates Anakin wonderfully.

I do like the Anakin story as it arcs over the three movies. All he’s ever wanted is stability, safety, and family, and the moral certitude that would underpin the rest and allow him to feel secure in it, and he’s never gotten any of it. Any hint of it is immediately snatched from him. And no one but Palpatine even seems to see his desires and needs. Pure power seems to be the only way to get any of it. The Jedi really fucked up with him. In addition to ripping him from his mother and keeping him from any kind of healthy marriage or romantic relationship, their own bloated complacency and wishy-washy morality keeps them from providing the stable base he needs from which to grow. You see hm in Menace, a small child with a lot of power, a lot of emotion, and absolutely no instruction on how to use that power, no guidance at all, impulsive and confused. And the Jedi take that kid and basically just set him loose on the world; all they do is help him grow and hone his power, but not how to harness it for a proper end. He wants to use it for good! He believes in compassion, which is sort of like loving everyone. But the Jedi are simultaneously invested in the moral gray (only the Sith deal in absolutes), and in compromise (putting Anakin on the council, denying him the rank of Master), and in their own secrecy, all he learns from them is more confusion and more instability.

When Mace Windu wanted to kill Palpatine, Anakin wanted to bring him to justice. He wanted to follow the Code he thought the Jedi had taught him. And he saw that the Code was provisional. In that scene, he learned that the Jedi do not have a moral core; they do not provide him with stability and certitude. Palpatine promises him simplicity as well as power: a dictatorship, where the right thing is always done and we know it’s right because one person decides; a world where you don’t need to rely on other people because you can rely on yourself and your own power; you can cheat death, you’ll never lose your family again.

Padme was pretty pathetic in this installment. All she got to do was be pregnant and sad. And apparently she’ll be kicked out of the Senate because the Republic doesn’t have pregnancy discrimination protection?? Okay lol. I’m also really unsure about that whole “died because she lost the will to live” thing. I believe that that could happen, but in the context of those scenes--with the addition of lines like “she’s healthy” and coming as it does at a moment where she seems to be useless to the plot--it sounds less like a fatal psychological injury and more like what it is: a fridging.

I don’t even think that this story point makes sense. Leia says in ROTJ that she remembers her mother. She says her mother died when she was young, but she has some images and other general memories of her: that she was beautiful, kind, but sad. There is no way that she got all that from the moment she was born, I don’t care how Force-sensitive she is. Also, the implication in that conversation is that she spent more time with Padme than Luke did: she has memories, and he doesn’t. Finally, she doesn’t say her mother died in childbirth; she said she died when Leia was YOUNG.

I think a more consistent and less annoying chain of events would be: Padme gives birth to both babies, but is told they need to be separated because the Emperor will be after them; she has to choose between her newborns, which is extremely traumatic; she chooses to keep Leia but will only part with Luke if he’s raised by Anakin’s family on Tatooine and keeps his name (also closing the plot hole of why anyone would “hide” Anakin’s son in his family home with his family name); to keep her and Leia safe, she goes with Bail to Alderaan and for a few years, she raises her child there, but she’s weak, she never really recovers; even in Episode III, other characters talk about how weak she is, so the audience understands what her death will be; over time, implied/off screen, she really does lose the will to live, missing Luke, hurt by Anakin, physically weakened by childbirth, and when Leia is 3-4, she dies and the Organas adopt Leia. I could also see Obi-wan et. al. lying to Padme about Anakin’s fate. She doesn’t know he’s going by the name Darth Vader; Obi-wan could tell her he died on Mustafar and not correct the record even when he finds out that’s not true, and over time this lie to Padme grows in his own mind, so that he increasingly separates dead Anakin from live Vader. So by Episode IV, he’s fully able to talk fondly about Anakin, his friend and apprentice, while viewing Vader as Anakin’s evil killer. This is obviously a huge part of Obi-wan’s (and Yoda’s) psychological and moral rationalization between the prequels and the original trilogy. It would just be interesting if the lie started as a way to protect an already fragile Padme from a truth she can’t face and they wish they didn’t have to.

This version does open up the plothole of why Anakin doesn’t immediately go after his wife if he knows she’s alive, but it closes more than it opens. He could believe her dead. He never clocked Leia as his daughter even though they were face to face, perhaps because he didn’t know a daughter had ever been born, so there is precedent for this kind of “Force sense” wishy-washiness.

In general, I have mixed feelings about Padme. She seems overall rather caught up in her political world, the hypotheticals of the situation rather than the reality on the ground. And her reactions to the reality she does see are lackluster--like when she learns there are slaves on Tatooine. She’s like: that’s bad... and then we never hear of it again. Overall, politics failed the Republic. She and the Jedi were part of that.

But she looks great in those outfits.

The Mustafar fight scene was too long. Way too long. For all that, it was oddly not memorable (as B said). I don’t entirely know why... Was it the length? Did it just mean too much, have too much weight on it? I don’t know.

But the ‘creation’ of Vader as a cyborg was chilling. It’s weird how even though the whole point of the movies was to show how Vader came from this little kid in Episode I, as soon as he was in the suit he seemed like a totally different person to me. It was even weird that he immediately asked for Padme even though he became this way specifically to save her.

Ironic. Also ironic: the way his story fulfilled a prophecy in a very Greek way. He chose the dark side and its power to save Padme, but that same decision--what he became and what he did--was what killed her. In trying to avoid his fate, he put his fate into motion.

Also ALSO ironic: that Palpatine told him that there was only one Jedi/Sith who had ever learned the power of overcoming death (implying it was whats-his-face, the possibly fake Sith who seemed to be Anakin’s father??) but it was Qui-gon who accomplished it. So if Anakin had stayed with the Jedi, he would have gotten exactly what he was looking for with Palpatine.

(And then he became a force ghost anyway, so whatever.)

So... at the end, Vader knows Padme is dead and knows there was supposed to be one baby but he doesn’t know if the baby is dead or alive, or that there were two. and the Jedi think Vader is dead. Because Obi-Wan doesn’t know how to finish a job!! That must have been a fun surprise finding out he’s not.

#the year 2022 #2022: fandom thoughts #2022: movies

[writingwithcolor]

How to Write Non-Fluent ESL English

@interneet​ asked:

Hey, I’m reading a story at the moment where immigrant characters speak in incredibly broken English. It’s really jarring. Is there a way to respectfully write characters speaking in broken/non-fluent English without it coming across unrealistic and racist or would you advise just leaving that out of your writing altogether?

This is going to turn into a bit of a guide…I’ll try not to get too carried away with linguistics stuff :)

A Note on Terminology

I’d definitely go with “non-fluent” over “broken,” as the term “broken” has quite a negative connotation that also tends to be used in describing stigmatized languages, language varieties, and dialects that are, in fact, used properly according to their own internal rules (AAVE and many Global Englishes, to name a few). 

Another term you should know for this guide is ESL and L1/L2. I’ll use L1 to refer to first language, L2 for second language, and so on—you can keep adding numbers. ESL is “English Second Language,” which is pretty self-explanatory, but there is a crucial distinction between that and dominant language. I myself am technically ESL, as I started learning English at around age 3. However, since I live in the US where English is the dominant language, I quickly gained in English proficiency and lost Japanese proficiency. While I still have around middle schooler proficiency in Japanese, English is my dominant language now. An immigrant character may be ESL but completely fluent in English.

Should You Write It?

It depends on whether or not the character’s English proficiency is plot relevant. Keep in mind that with writing non-fluent english, you don’t want to overload speech with mistakes, or make it incomprehensible. The most you should do is use it to establish character (say a character has just moved overseas, and in the story their English improves over time) or to further plot (maybe there is important info that needs to be communicated and there’s a barrier). If it’s not relevant, and it’s just in order to establish that they’re a foreigner, don’t do it. It’s Othering, and there are other ways to establish culture and culture shock. As I said before, not all immigrants have a poor command of their destination country’s dominant language. 

The How-To

There are two components that I’ll address: 

The types of errors to include, and

Writing accents (or not)

First, grammatical features are better to use than phonetic ones. We’ll get to why when we talk about accents, but for now, note that it’s more respectful to use for ESL errors than pronunciation. Here are some examples of grammatical features: 

Word order

Inflections (eg. the attachment of affixes like -s, -ed, etc. to indicate tense, person, number, etc. of a noun or verb)

The presence or absence of certain morphological constructs that appear in some languages but not others (eg. Japanese has topic markers like wa, and English doesn’t; English has definite/indefinite articles like the but Japanese doesn’t)

If you’re writing an ESL character, ask beta readers & mods on this blog who speak the character’s L1 to see if the grammatical features of your character’s ESL speech are consistent with typical English fluency errors. Here’s an ask I answered on Japanese, and Mod Rune gives a good example on Korean here: 

A Korean is more likely to try and put someone’s title behind their last name (e.g. Obama President rather than President Obama, Lestrade Inspector instead of Inspector Lestrade)

Second, we want to avoid in-dialogue portrayals of phonetic differences, which is also called “eye dialect.” Here are some examples from a piece of media many of us are probably familiar with, but I don’t think deserves a citation: 

“Will you please inform zis 'Agrid zat ze 'orses drink only single-malt whiskey?”

“Eh? No, don' go! I've — I've never met another one before”

“Anuzzer what, precisely?”

“Another half-giant, o' course.”

Both speakers have an accent that is shown within the writing through misspellings of the words they’re speaking (one is French, one is West Country English). This is a stereotypical (and often hard-to-read) portrayal of accents that Others the speaker and unfairly puts either their dialect differences or their perceived proficiency in English at the forefront of their dialogue. And this is with European characters! Imagine how this would look on people from other parts of the globe. 

Another major reason why we want to avoid eye dialect is because of the racist history of (pejoratively) writing accents in literature. In early American writing, Black characters were written according to minstrel stereotypes, and with it, a stereotypical way of speaking that was emphasized through eye dialect. Here’s a thesis that explains the history of eye dialect in American literature to supplement that idea, if you want to learn more. In addition, unless you’re a linguist or dialect coach who is trained in the phonetic inventory of the L1 & speaker tendencies, you tend to perpetuate media stereotypes that may not be reflective of actual speech. This can be very harmful. 

Here’s a link on how to describe accents instead, and here are some good perspectives on being a 1st generation immigrant and struggling with accents (how that affects them when they’re teased for it, and also strategies they have taken to overcome a knowledge gap). 

In Conclusion

Before writing an ESL speaker’s English in a different way from the rest of the cast, consider whether or not this is really needed in your story.

If you do decide to write their speech differently, look at the grammatical features of their L1 and talk to real speakers of that L1 to get a realistic idea.

AVOID EYE DIALECT! 

Thanks for stickin’ with me, folks. 

~Mod Rina

#ESL #language #speech #immigrant #Othering #accents #description #asks

[a-lil-perspective]

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

#writers #fanfiction writers #writing encouragement #writer appreciation #writer support #writer struggles #writing motivation #writers tips #for writers #omg am I struggling. #hope these help you beautiful people #my writing #it’s a lil thing

[icalledhimpietro]

Civil War should have focused more on Tony's guilt in being personified in the destruction of Sokovia and the argument over whether or not Vision should exist

Let me explain.

In Civil War, The whole point of the Sokovia Accords are to illustrate Tony's guilt, but it's so easily forgotten. Tony's inventions are the reasons Sokovia suffered for so many years. I think having conversations where the audience could actually see Tony experiencing the guilt of his inventions virtually and literally destroying an entire region and its people would have really helped the development of Civil war. If Wanda were to be a sort of spokesperson for the people of Sokovia and have a bit, If not a lot, of resentment towards him that he had to work past with her. I think it would have really helped both of their characters develop as well. You could see someone learning to forgive Tony for the things that he didn't understand at the time he was creating them and then you could also see Tony seeing the error of his ways and how important it is for him to have foresight when creating new powerful things. This could have been huge character development for both characters and I feel we were really robbed of that.

Secondly, I think the argument of the Sokovia accords would have been really great if it affected any movie following Civil War but very rarely is there any mention of the Sokovia Accords in the movies to follow. I personally think that the argument should have been about whether or not Vision should exist. The group still doesn't fully understand him and all they really know is He was created to be a vessel for Ultron and Thor's lightning woke him up. I think it would have been really cool to see the teams debate whether or not Vision should continue to exist. Team cap could stay the same where that team argues for what Steve argued in the scene of Age of Ultron where they wake up Vision. Team iron Man could be arguing what Bruce and Tony were arguing in that same scene. So you have team cap fighting for the safety of everyone else in fear of Vision and his ties to Ultron and then you have Bruce and Tony fighting for the possibilities that the existence of Vision could bring.

Since Wanda didn't know Vision very well She would feel torn but ultimately would side with Cap because of Pietro. With his death so fresh in her mind, She would most likely choose the option that would not result in other people experiencing what she did. Throughout the plot, there could be still those interactions between her and vision and especially the one from Wandavision where she's mourning Pietro's death and he comes to comfort her and that could be the moment that she realizes he is no longer a threat and instead changes her mind. I feel this would have been a much more constructive subject to argue on and it would stay true to their characters.

It would also allow the characters to develop together rather than bringing outside conflict like government intervention, etc. I think letting the characters develop through each other and the struggles that they experience as a group when members are at odds would have made for much better character development. Not to mention, it still ties into the plot of protecting Bucky. Where, at first, Tony sees Bucky as a threat (possibly comparing it to him creating Ultron) he tries to turn in Bucky as a way to try and make up for his lapses in judgement in the past. He sees it more as Steve making a similar mistake as him in letting his personal feelings cloud his judgement in regard to the greater good (ie. Tony creates a killer robot when trying to protect the Earth and the people her cares about on it and Steve lets loose a known assassin because its his childhood friend)

Through the plotlines previously mentioned, Tony could find it in him to hear Steve out and the end of the movie could still stay the same. He begins to trust Bucky and hears Steve out and then (SPOILER) he finds out Bucky killed his parents and then the end battle commences. It still respects Zemo's motives throughout the movie and would better explain his mindset toward the end of the movie throughout the plot.

I just feel like this movie was a missed opportunity for some really well done character development and I just needed to get it out of my system. You're allowed to agree or disagree with it. This is just my opinion.

#pietro maximoff #quicksilver #marvel cinematic universe #pietro maximov #wanda maximoff #wandavision #age of ultron #mcu #marvel #mcu phase 4 #civil war #cacw #captain america civil war #avenger death #avengers aou #avengers theory #avengers ultron #the avengers #avengers #sokovia accords #sokovia #quicksilver and the scarlet witch #the scarlet witch #vision #tony stark #steve rogers #wanda and pietro #wanda

[lunar-wandering]

Eventide

bet yall thought i forgot about the Sunset Wukong AU didnt you

jokes on you, i didn’t.

welcome to Macaque’s intro, aka me kinda just rewriting episode 9-

Word Count: 1.5k

Read on Ao3

-

"You know, when I found out that I was going to be trained by Monkey King, the 'Great Sage, Equal to Heaven', I had no idea.... that I'd be stuck here, hammering walls 12 hours a day!" MK yelled, throwing the hammer off to the side, ignoring the loud crash it made as it hit the ground, turning to glare at Wukong. "Why am I doing this again?"

"First of all, it's only been 2 hours, not 12." Wukong said, casually leaning against a nearby pillar. "Secondly, it's so that I can make a neat little breakfast nook."

"But I'm meant to be the Monkie Kid, not Construction Boy, and besides, this barely counts as practice!" MK said, crossing his arms with an annoyed huff. "How am I meant to defeat demons if I don't know any of the fighting...stuff."

"Oh, so you want to learn the 'fighting stuff', huh?" Wukong said, pushing off the pillar and picking up the staff from where MK had left it laying on the ground. "You mean like....this?"

MK barely managed to duck down and dodge as the staff proceeded to go sailing over his head, hitting the wall hard enough to break it and leave a sizeable hole in it.

"Yes! Exactly like that-" MK paused mid-excited ramble as he registered the wince on Wukong's face, as well as how the Monkey King had placed one hand behind his back. MK sighed, the excited energy leaving almost as fast as it had came. "Monkey King, I've told you multiple times that we could move training to nighttime, after sunset."

"It's fine, it's fine, you need your rest." Wukong said, waving away MK's concern, at the same time revealing exactly what MK's had suspected, that the tips of Wukong's fingers had turned to stone. "Besides, you're not ready for that kind of stuff yet anyways."

"But I am ready! What's smacking a wall going to teach me anyways?"

"Look, I'm never going to teach you something you don't need to know, okay?" Wukong said, sighing. "Anyways, this wall isn't going to destroy itself. Remember, step into the strike-"

MK's phone rang.

-

MK climbed over the edge of the building, a whole rant already building in his mind.

"Monkey King, I swear, I know it's sunset, but we have told you so many times not to use your powers during the day-" MK cut himself off once he got a good look at the monkey standing before him. "...Oh. This is awkward. You're not... Monkey King."

"Heh, I get that a lot." The monkey said, giving a nervous laugh. "The names Macaque, Six Eared Macaque, although that's more of a nickname really.... nevermind that, you're the Monkie Kid, MK, right?"

"...How'd you know?" MK asked, suspicious. Macaque gave an airy chuckle.

"Not exactly everyone can wield that staff, kid." He said, turning and starting to walk away. "Anyways, I should go-"

"Can you teach me that cool move you did?!" MK blurted out, almost as shocked as Macaque himself was at the sudden question. He wasn't sure what had prompted him to ask, but as it was he wasn't getting any stronger right now, and this powerful monkey didn't have a curse that turned him to stone in the daylight, so... "Please?"

Macaque eyed the horizon for a moment before responding.

"Isn't Wukong teaching you?" He said, and when MK looked nervous, followed it up with, "But I suppose you can never have too many teachers, right? I'm sure Monkey King wouldn't mind...."

And so, Macaque wormed his way into MK's weekly schedule.

Oddly enough, Macaque, like Wukong, insisted on never training MK during the night, but MK was fine with that, as Macaque was actually teaching him, unlike Wukong, who continued to simply make MK slam a hammer against a wall, day after day. Going back and forth between both training sessions, and his job of delivering noodles was no easy task, but MK figured he was managing it pretty well.

...Okay, so maybe he felt a bit more tired, a bit more irritable than usual, but he could overcome that! He could get better at balancing his schedule.

He could do this.

...His rising anger over how Wukong continued to have him do nothing but smack a wall, repeatedly, over and over, every single day, wasn't doing him any favors though.

-

He is the weapon.

That sentence repeats like a mantra over and over in his head as he stares down the glowing eye of the smoke monster. Maybe he says it out loud- he can't be sure. All he's focused on is the sparks of energy flying around him, the resistance he feels keeping him from landing a hit as he pushes harder, summons as much energy as he can-

The air shifts, and MK barely has time to blink as the smoke monster smirks (and he hadn't even known that it could do that), shifting, twirling in on itself-

He thinks of looking back at Macaque for help.

But then the smoke clears away, and despite his confusion, he instantly knows the help would never come.

He finds himself face to face with Macaque, remnants of smoke and shadows slipping off of the other's form as he looks up and meets MK's gaze, revealing a scar over one eye, and really, MK should've seen this coming.

But it's not really Macaque's betrayal that surprises him.

No, that honor goes to the stone slowly creeping it's way up the side of Macaque's face.

And then Macaque's fist hits MK's chest, and MK gets the wind knocked out of him. He drops, hitting the ground, hard. Groaning, he starts trying to pull himself up.

He feels....weaker, somehow.

Like something isn't quite right.

"Y'know, you really are a good kid." MK barely registers Macaque's hand ruffling his hair, but he leans back as the other enters the shadows on the ground. "Super nice."

MK watches as the shadow clone (because that's what it must've been right? Heavens he was stupid, falling for a plot as simple as this) merges with it's creator- noting that the stone isn't just on Macaque's face, both the monkey's right leg, his left arm, and slowly spreading onto his chest.

It took a few moments more than it should've for MK to notice the gleaming ball of magic in Macaque's hand, but by the time he'd noticed it, Macaque was already closing his fist around it.

MK watched in fascination and mild horror as sparks of magic appeared all over Macaque's body, and the stone-

The stone faded away.

MK didn't get much of a chance to think about that, as the next second, the magical recoil sent MK flying, his back colliding with the face of the mountain behind him, the staff following after and landing sideways, like a bar pinning him to the rock. Tried as he might to move it, he couldn't.

He was trapped.

-

Monkey King, of course, came to save him, as always. MK could only thank his lucky stars that the whole situation had taken place in the night, instead of the day. He had no idea what they would do if Wukong turned fully to stone during an attack. (And based on some of the things Pigsy had told him, this had actually come close to happening, far more often than MK would like. They all knew that Wukong would still revert back to normal at sunset, even if he'd been turned all the way to stone. But they also knew that it hurt. And MK never, wanted anybody to be in that level of pain just because he couldn't handle things on his own.)

Still though, they'd really been cutting it close, with there having only been mere moments before sunrise. MK could still vividly see the expression on his mentors face as he looked back, eyeing the horizon, before locking eyes with MK.

Wukong hadn't strictly asked for help, instead saying that it was time for the "hero stuff", as MK had previously put it. But MK recognized worry when he saw it.

Part of him relifting the staff was fueled entirely by his determination to be the one to help his mentor for once. But he wasn't about to tell the Monkey King that. (He was fairly certain that Wukong might get offended over it, if his reluctance to let others help with his whole 'turning to stone' problem said anything).

MK sighed, feeling tired as he watched the sunrise. It belatedly occurred to him that he had stayed up all night.

It wouldn't be the first all-nighter he'd ever pulled, but after what he'd just been through? He just wanted to collapse into a mountain of pillows right this instant.

"...I should probably head home." MK lightly pulled himself out from under Wukong's arm, standing up. "I feel bone tired."

"I'm sure you do." Wukong also stood up, brushing dirt and debris off of his clothes, before looking down the cliff they'd been sitting on. "Just uh, could I ask you for a favor first?"

"Uh, I guess?" MK yawned, leaning against the staff for support as he slouched.

Wukong eyed the horizon. The sun had already risen.

"...You and Pigsy would probably yell at me if I summoned my cloud and turned my toes to stone so.....mind giving me a ride back?"

#Monkie Kid #fanfic #my writing #Sunset Wukong AU