#toni asks

[shotmrmiller]

Imagine price has a huge crush on medic reader, and one day while reader is patching him up their say “you remind me of my dad”….price is HEART BROKEN, the person that he’s been chasing after, making him look like a fool sees him as a father figure and not future husband material, later he tells the team about this and ghost chimes in like “you know you could use this to your advantage, like some women like men like that, think it’s called a DILF”, after that price becomes a certified dilf, calling you a “good girl/boy” and rolling up his sleeves every chance he gets, he’ll also be more strict with you

could never be me. what dad?

ghost being the wingman and telling him to stop using rogaine and let those silver hairs shine. DILF MATERIAL.

instead of the regular dad ruffling of hair, he flattens his palm on the crown of your head and gives your hair a tug. his heart almost leaps out of his throat when you groan cuz you have an oncoming headache or something.

fully hopping on that.

#toni asks

[byrdtrollsunoreversearchive]

Toni you really don't think your boss kinda has a point?

"I'm sorry" He says. "He really like his err, ancestor fanfiction? conspiracy theory? But its nonsense."

"Thats not what's happening here Toni."

"Whatever you say boss."

"This is the SAME MAN"

"Hikaru's clearly his descendant. I'm sorry but you cannot tell me that man is 500 sweeps old. He has the eyes of a baby seal!"

"...what?"

"Hikaru looks REALLY YOUNG!" He says. "Besides, Kokoro Kimura would never betray the mafia."

"Why not."

"Him and Midas were in love. Everyone knows that, they're like the mom and dad of the mafia! They were very famously in love, Midas was heartbroken by his death, Kokoro wouldn't fake his death to 'escape' him."

Sunset stares at him for an age.

"I'm sorry" he says, "But which one of us is writing ancestor fanfiction now?"

"This is different. This is normal Mafia respect for the ogs. Maybe if you want to be in the business you should learn it."

"Okay but do you have a reason to believe they were too 'in love' to quarrel thats based on historical facts and not Midas's retelling of the story?"

"Because- forgo everything you heard growing up on the street- everything you've seen scribbled onto the sides of one of those stupid shrines- and look at newspapers and letters and telegrams from that period instead."

"Midas and Kokoro were not seen in public often in the months leading up to Kokoro's 'death'. They're even eyewitness accounts of them quarrelling on how the mafia was run."

"Look at this correspondance between Kokoro and Gihyun from 643. Does it not sound like a man frustrated with his partner?"

"And he wonders why the boys don't like him" Toni says to the audience, aside.

"Stop talking to whoever that is. I'm talking to YOU, Toni. I'm not crazy."

"Uh huh. Do the butts match"

#sunset asks #toni asks #long post #sorry got a little carried away rping with myself here #ask tag

[tinystepsforward]

idk how many of you remember this but a few years ago tumblr ran a universally panned ad campaign for (us american) pride month that went "the gayest place on the internet".

well someone planning that campaign dropped in to ask the queer automatticians for advice on that and universally me and the other trans people involved were like "don't do it. i am so serious. don't do it. people on tumblr won't understand that it wasn't automattic who instituted the porn ban, or they will, but they'll recognize that automattic hasn't done anything, hands tied or not, to reverse it. nobody will like this. it will be a disaster." and they thanked us for our thoughts and went ahead with it anyway and then had to do retrospectives about how badly it went and were like "we just didn't know" and [gestures] yeah [edit: i think the person who rbed saying it was queerest place on the internet was right, my brain is fried, sorry! and that's... even worse lmao]

#tony muses #hello new followers. for clarity if you are expecting intense amounts of goss about tumblr specifically i am not your person #when automattic first acquired tumblr they asked queer staff who wanted to transfer over to something that was dear to a lot of us #and i specifically did not want to shit where i eat so to speak #which was the right choice. i just have other info about automattic more generally

[aslov3rsgo]

Toni, how many fucking machines did you build for yourself? I imagine a woman with your skills probably made a bunch of machines that'd fuck her until she lost a sizable number of IQ points for a while.

Toni smirked. "Enough to keep all of my holes filled at the same time. Does that answer your question?"

#naughty anons #toni asks

[sualne]

he's fiiiiine.

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #trafalgar law #tony tony chopper #one piece spoilers #my art #my comic #undescribed #been thinking a lot about them recovering at a normaler-ish rate after onigashima and the conversation that couldve happened. #i also wished we got to see law be a doctor more when he was with them. even just asking how theyre doing.

[baby-xemnas]

I LOVE BEPO AND CHOPPER ANNOUNCING THE HIGHLIGHT REEL

#one piece #bepo one piece #tony tony chopper #my art #hes very genuinely asking

[ask-spiderpool]

#ask-spiderpool #main #captain america #iron man #steve rogers #tony stark #ms marvel #kamala khan #miles morales #tony why are you so homophobic. huh.

[koobiie]

i just know sanji would go crazy for ratatouille i know this 100% for a fact

bonus sanji singing la festin :-]

#'is this a modern au?' you ask. well. thats up to you to decide #sanji #sanji vinsmoke #straw hat pirates #black leg sanji #ratatouille #one piece #monkey d luffy #nami #usopp #roronoa zoro #tony tony chopper #koob art #digital art #procreate #god usopp #1k #2k #5k #10k #15k

[andaniellight]

one of the funniest gigs in pre-timeskip was that whenever Zoro tried to be considerate with the coward trio while handling their eager stupid captain is that this thing would bound to happen regardless of anything at all....

and then the aftermath would be like:

#Zoro: here is your chance to put on leash on our captain (tho it might not work) #Coward trio: WHY NOT ASK THE OTHERS FOR SOMETHING SO STUPID LIKE THAT #Zoro: are you sure? [points at captain's-enablers team ready by his sides to make things worse] #One Piece #Roronoa Zoro #Nami #Usopp #Tony Tony Chopper #Straw Hat Pirates #Mugiwara no Ichimi #Vinsmoke Sanji #Black Leg Sanji #Nico Robin #Franky #Thriller Bark my beloved #Romance Dawn trio #ZoLu #SanLu #Brook

[shotmrmiller]

Ok, so, a few weeks ago, I was feeling a little curious and decided to look up one of those prison penpal sites online. Rest assured, I didn’t contact anyone, it just turned into me and my bestie reading the profiles and guessing what each person was charged with, BUT, it got me thinking.. Imagine being pen pals with the 141 guys while they were incarcerated. Maybe you send that first letter as a dare or maybe you just desperately need a stranger to confide in.

God dude.

Imagine that the prison doesn't really filter who makes one of those videos asking-- practically begging-- for communication from the outside. Something with bubbly letters that match your looks, or some sloppy handwriting that they could get inked onto their skin.

You and your friend make a bet and you lose. Now you're whipping out a loose sheet of paper and you're scrolling on your phone for the one.

Is it Simon? (the murderer. a man who snuffed the life out of another simply because he could)

John Price? (drug dealer. a man with sleeper agents in the very government that incarcerated him.)

Kyle? (hitman. took lives of very important people in other countries)

Johnny? (money launderer. he's good at receiving illegal tender and dealing with it.)

They keep it simple enough. How's the outside world? What's tasty in McDonalds? News? Politics? You?

Got a lover? Kids? would you like one

Omg and then to get an in person visit for the first time. They've made a thin, metal band for you because you're theirs now 🥴

#toni asks

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

joking aside, I love this site. I have learned so much from this site. I have received so much love and support from this site, and I hope to be here for years to come (especially now that we accidentally won Least Worst Social Media Platform, despite our very best efforts)

that being said, taking a break was really helpful for me mentally. it made me realize how much pressure I was putting on myself to keep people entertained so they would like me. I'm talking like, 'rereading & editing a single dumb shitpost a dozen times a day' levels of overthinking.

So yeah: I love it here, I plan to keep making people (and myself) laugh, but going forward I'm going to be putting less pressure on myself to be as entertaining/active as i used to aim for. Less "I choked on my gogurt" levels of humor, more "sensible chuckle." (sometimes I may even indulge in a joke that purposefully fails to resonate with the audience! it will be quite a mischievous little treat for me 🤭.)

anyways please be patient if my posts lack a certain pizzazz going forward. the pizzazz is out of stock. no there is none in the back room. the pizzazz is on back order ok. no I'm not paying for expedited shipping. our supplier is experiencing a shortage. pizzazz is a controlled substance, do you have no understanding of the paperwork involved? piss off with your piddling pizzazz

TLDR if you think my posts were mediocre before just u wait sweetheart you ain't seen nothing yet. (they are going to get worse. what I'm saying is they are going to get even more underwhelming. i feel good about this.)

#serious post #ish #do i have tenure? is tumblr tenure a thing? #either way from here on out i am PHONING IT IN MY BABIES! #you get a reblogged post from 2021! you get a rebloggrd post! you get a reblogged post! #and you! get a piece of horrific fanart! that's been containly secured in the ask box since 2020 #and YES it contains the Grinch x Tony the Tiger in delicisio fragrantance #ps I lied there IS a small supply of Pizzazz left on the top shelf but i am hoarding it for my own personal use

[oifaaa]

Can’t wait for Baby Bruce to get a rabid little brother from the circus

I was actually thinking again about the time travel fix it au and why Jason would just let Dicks parents die and well

I think he just forgot

#ask #randox-talore #dc #dc comics #batman #jason todd #red hood #batfam #batfamily #in jasons defense #it's now been like 15 years since he traveled to the past #and like trying to remember the exact date dicks parents died #that's gonna be hard #so he has to run out now and kill tony zucco #hoping he can still get revenge for dick before dick gets any ideas about crime fighting

[sugar-rice]

Tried my hand at making a text post a while back

#one piece #luffy #monkey d luffy #roronoa zoro #op nami #one piece sanji #ussop #op franky #nico robin #tony tony chopper #op brook #text post #my post #I had this in my head since alabasta #looking back I might swap Robin and nami but oh well #jinbei is the one asking the question #one piece memes #memes #op memes

[aslov3rsgo]

"The famous Miss Stark... A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance... And with a body to match the brain, no less..."

Toni raised an eyebrow at the man before smirking slightly. "Oh is that so?"

#toni asks #courtcomposer

[avengerlevelthreat]

Peter: all right first question. are you the killer?

suspect: no

Peter: really?

suspect: yes

Peter:

Peter:

Peter: killersaywhat

suspect: what?

Peter: got em! we got em!

Tony, banging a gavel: guilty! guilty!

#mcu #iron dad #peter parker #tony stark #incorrect quotes #don’t ask why they’re interrogating someone or where tony got the gavel

[ikarakie]

one thing you learn living in new york: you literally never know what's going to happen the next day. it's become a general rule of thumb to expect the unexpected, so to speak.

despite this, when the avengers get reports of iron man flying in circles over queens, growing more frantic by the second, they're confused. mainly because they're currently sat at a table with tony stark himself. and, according to his ai, the suit that's out causing mayhem is still securely stored downstairs.

they all head out to see what the hell is going on. they meet with strange on the way, who mutters something about inter-dimensional disturbances and whatnot.

spider-man gets to the scene just before them. the second iron man visibly freezes when he spots him in his red and blue glory. "mr. stark?" they hear him ask. they see as he turns and spots them, and then does a double take. "what's going on?"

"underoos!" real tony calls, nervous, at the same time as the other one spots them, and then lurches forward to all but manhandle peter behind him.

the avengers all tense, readying for a fight. fake tony raises a repulsor. "i just want the kid. i don't want to fight."

"you don't belong here." strange says, infuriatingly calm. "i don't know how you got here, but you need to go home." fake tony nods. strange adds, "you can't take him with you." which earns him a rather mean blast. luckily, he ducks out of the way.

the poor kid is whipping his head back and forth, clearly confused. tony's stomach twists unhappily. "you don't understand," fake tony hisses, "all the work it took to get here. i'm not going home without him."

"you have to." strange takes a step forward, "you can't transport him between universes. it's not viable." the lenses on peter's suit widen, and he looks at the fake tony.

"he's from another universe?" steve asks, disbelieving. strange nods, and opens his mouth to say something more, but is cut off by the other-universe tony. he removes his faceplate, revealing a tony stark that is far more haggard than anyone had ever seen before. he's thinner, his eyes are darker, pleading. he looks like a man who's lost everything.

tony looks to peter, who's still staring, wide-eyed. he can see the gears in his head moving but can't decipher why.

"you dimension hopped to kidnap the kid?" tony asks, a little unfocused. the kid was in danger, and it was all he could think about. "why?" peter turns to him, then back to tony number two. he gasps as something apparently clicks in his brain.

he steps forwards, rounds the other-universe tony and stands in front of him. he instantly lowers the repulsor. "because i'm dead." peter says, confidently.

everyone pauses. they look at the spider like he's gone insane, because he clearly isn't dead, not anymore, at least. but other-universe tony looks like he's had the wind knocked out of him. "pete-"

peter deactivates his mask. "right?" he asks. other-universe tony frantically looks over his face.

"it's my fault." he says, softly. "i'm so sorry. i'm sorry, pete. i'm-"

"come out of the suit."

other-universe tony pauses. "what?"

"come out here, please." peter asks again. other-universe tony does as he asks, stumbling out and immediately into the open and waiting arms of the baby spider. it seems to break him, the embrace; all at once he loses any trace of intimdation and anger and sobs, curling around the boy as much as he can. peter seems unphased, unlike the other heroes, and shushes him. "it's okay, mr. stark. it's not your fault," he murmurs soothingly, only reaching their ears due to the intercom on his suit. "it was never your fault. i chose this, i chose to come up there. i didn't regret it for a second."

other-universe tony heaves. "i was supposed to protect you. i failed. i failed and you're gone and you were so scared and i couldn't do anything-"

"you're wrong," peter soothes, and it's a weird image. the child comforting the adult. "if he was anything like me, then-" for a second, his eyes cut back to this-universe tony. "then he was glad you were there when he was dying. you made him feel safer. it would've been so much worse without you."

and then it all clicks for tony. this was a version of him from a world post-snap, who'd watched a kid he considered his own fade to dust in his arms. who sat in his own guilt, and shame, and loneliness. he knew the feeling all too well, and this tony had crossed dimensions to try and get his kid back in any way possible.

if it were for anyone but peter parker, this tony would've said it was a little dramatic.

he's sent home eventually, the other tony, after some more comforts and a not so subtle hint as to how they got everyone back after the snap, much to strange's dismay. later, real tony sits in the lab, watching peter from across a table, and he asks, "how'd you figure it out?"

"figure what out, mr. stark?"

"why that other me was here." peters looks up from whatever he's tinkering with. frowns.

"well, you invented time travel to get me back," he says. "why would you stop before dimension travel? it just made the most sense." tony has half a mind to argue, but one look at his lab: a midtown high hoodie draped over the back of a chair, a teenager's backpack in the corner, a seperated table with it's own organisational pattern and piles of blueprints, a report card pinned to a board, and a spiderman charm hanging from dum-e, he figures the kid is right.

"yeah, well, i love you a little too damn much then, don't i?" he doesn't think about the words before he says them. he's felt it for so long it feels like a second instinct.

luckily he gets no time to panic. because peter immediately lights up, says, "i love you too." and gets back to work.

damn kid.

#dont ask me when in canon this is set cos it isnt #irondad #spiderman #iron man #tony stark #peter parker #spiderman homecoming #spiderman far from home #spiderman no way home #irondad fic #irondad and spiderson #spiderson #spider son #irondad angst #kinda #lol