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elizabethsiglersoc201h · 9 days

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Post #4- Why Procrastinate?

In class yesterday our Professor mentioned an observation of hers- that honors students are generally procrastinators. She suggested that putting things off until the last minute guarantees we won’t overthink things and/or spend too much time on them. This is something I’ve been thinking about since then.

My sister was a huge procrastinator. At least when we were growing up, I don’t know whether she was like that in college. But she cared a lot about her grades. I’ll never forget the one time she– as a freshman or sophomore– cried about getting an A minus. She thought the minus part was really that bad. Whether or not she told many other people we knew, one of her biggest long term goals was to be valedictorian and she accomplished it eventually, despite that one pesky A minus that she got on a quarterly report card (I’m fairly certain it wasn’t her final grade for the class but I could be wrong).

Anyway, as I was saying, she really was a serious procrastinator. I remember one late night when she begged me to stay up later and later and later. Long after our parents had gone to sleep. She needed me to record her playing guitar and singing a song that she’d written for a class presentation. We already had a couple of good takes. But she wanted the *perfect* take. She’d get halfway into the song and then start over. Again and again and again. At one point I worried that I might fall asleep standing up. Soon after that point she finally got a take that she deemed to be good enough and we got a couple hours of sleep before getting up for school.

She got a good grade on the project. And at the end of her time in high school she ended up being the valedictorian. In fact, she was the first sole valedictorian in several years. In our High School there’s usually a tie between at least two or three students, if not more. This supports Professor White’s observation that a lot of the honors students are procrastinators. But I wonder whether it goes both ways… are all procrastinators smart? (Probably not).

If I procrastinate, there’s usually a reason.

a.) I’m bored out of my mind and just can’t make myself do it. This was the introductory English course I took last semester! I’ve been dreading its follow up course and had been putting it off when someone told me that I can try to bypass it through a program called Credit for Prior Learning. I ran to fill out the form and it worked! No College Composition 2 for me!

b.) Maybe I’m overly intimidated and don’t know where to start. One of my Professors this semester has very lengthy detailed instructions for every single one of the assignments- from posts on the discussion board to papers. I swear the instructions for papers seem like they’re ten pages long. Well okay I might be exaggerating a little here… I just looked through the guidelines for the paper I’m writing right now and the document is around five and a half pages. Still, it just seems like a lot for a 1000 level course.

c.) Maybe I’m just too busy and the penalty isn’t all that bad. Last semester I had a class where I posted stuff late all of the time because it was only a minus ten percent and I knew I’d finish out the course with an A (which I did).

d.) Bored out of my mind. Again. This time it isn’t because the subject matter is basic. Rather, I’m loving the course textbook! But we do the same exact assignment with the same exact rubric every. single. week.

It’s clear that the Professor doesn’t want to be teaching an asynchronous online course… so why do they bother with it? It’s extra frustrating because I wish that I’d waited to see if they would eventually run an honors version of this course.

e.) Most often it’s because I’m a perfectionist. I don’t like to do something if I can’t do it well, or at least to the best of my abilities. I’m not someone who feels satisfied doing things just to do them and get them done. Nope. If I put my name on something, I want it to be good.

f.) Another reason for procrastinating is that it’s something I enjoy. For example: I’ve been putting these blog posts off. Simply because I enjoy writing. I have so many assignments to do before the end of the semester and most of them are not fun at all. But this is an assignment I appreciate, for a class I enjoy. So for some reason, my subconscious feels as if it should take a backseat.

Outside of a few original graphic novels, I haven’t been able to read anything for pleasure all semester. I’ve hardly had any time to pitch story ideas and write professionally. Back in December I had three pieces published. I’d been so deeply determined to take that momentum and roll it into the new year and just keep going… but it didn’t happen. If I don’t have enough time to develop pitches then how does it make sense that I’m sitting here and writing for pleasure? It’s practically a sort of logical fallacy. I’m reminding myself that it’s actually for a grade, not just because I felt like sitting down and writing (which I could do any time of day).

g.) I second guess myself and/or I think that I will fail. Enough said.

h.) Logistics. An assignment was explained/made available on x day, with a specific deadline. Perhaps I couldn’t get to it within that timeline and then when I did get around to it I felt like I was rushing and that takes us back up to reason number e- because I dread doing something if I know it’s not going to ultimately be a result of my best efforts.

In middle school– seventh or eighth grade– one of my science teachers had a huge handwritten poster taped on the door to her classroom reading: “poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.” My mom went to parent teacher conferences (yeah she was one of those parents who goes to every single one. Good times) and saw the poster once. Just once! But the saying stuck for years and years. She would say it while driving us home from school and my sister and I would sneakily roll our eyes in the backseat. If she had just one singular catchphrase, that would’ve been it. By the end of my middle school days I’d feel a sudden urge to tear the poster off the door and rip it in half anytime I walked by that classroom. Vivid daydreams.

I guess that’s why I haven’t thought about the concept of procrastination too much before now. It was this big bad problem that teachers and any other adults would harp on. The metaphorical dead horse got beaten so badly that it would just disintegrate into the dirt and have to be replaced with another poor (strictly metaphorical) dead horse. And another and another. Okay, you get the picture.

Perfectionism is one of the primary factors fueling my “chronic stress disorder.” Yes, I know everyone is stressed. How could you not be? But this condition that I’m talking about made me lose garish amounts of weight without even trying. I also lost a lot of my hair. For a while I had visible, patchy bald spots on the left side. And my hair is the one thing I’m just a little vain about. When telling me that I had chronic stress disorder my Doc told me that they worried it could take years off of my life.

Thankfully, my hair grew back after some therapy. It’s still just a tad bit patchy if it’s a dry shampoo day and you’re looking closely. Most of the time it isn’t noticeable, and those little spots are continually fading as they get covered up by hair regrowth. That alone is a win.

The other tools that my therapist gives me may not be visible physically but they’re just as valuable as the hair I’d been so worried about. When I remember to use the techniques, it helps me not to procrastinate. Technically they’re little time management tricks.

Do I feel that a task is taking me twice as long as it should? Well, if it’s a task I do regularly– like when I was part of a literary magazine and I used to review ten short stories per week– then it’s easy enough to consider the work and come up with an idea of how long it should take me to write up a paragraph or two that states my opinion of the story. So I’d take a look at the story and quickly review a section if I needed to. Then, when it was time to upvote or downvote and write my supporting information I would start a timer. If the timer went off and I was still typing I’d give myself another minute or two. But soon enough I started to come in under time every single time. I’d been evaluating short stories for a long time but there I was, nearly a year later, still trying to be a perfectionist about it. Plus, if you know a timer is running it keeps you on task and therefore, it’s harder to get distracted.

Another problem is that I have a lot of thoughts, ideas, and goals. Sometimes I catch myself trying to do ten things at once. But if my attention is so split up, I feel like I’m not going to do anything well for some reason and that’s a problem because my perfectionism (list item #9) is my most frequent excuse for procrastination. If I feel that way long enough, then I just won’t want to do the things and their respective deadlines will creep closer and closer.

In order to combat this pitfall, I have to pick one singular thing and only focus on that one thing. I tell myself that I’ll be working on one thing or another for an hour. Then, if I want to pick another thing I do. Usually I fall into what I’m working on and lose all sense of time and place well before the hour is up. So then I keep going and eventually things get done one by one. It’s an easy thing to do because I don’t have to convince myself that it works. It’s something I prove to myself often and it really sounds quite logical- two plus two equals four. See? The math is mathing here. The tricky part is catching myself in the first place. I normally think about many things all at once, it just comes naturally to me. But if I want to be successful I can’t constantly be bringing that energy to my desk time/laptop time.

I guess I never came to a conclusion based on whether or not most smart people procrastinate but I think I still managed to take a detailed look at the idea and I hope that this blog post wasn’t too hard to read.

-Elizabeth

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katdummy · 2 years

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mostly in a depression phase now, or mellowing out from all the prior anxiety. last night, im not sure if it was because I was still asleep, but I woke up at 3 am confused, and then all of a sudden it felt like this long sharp claw or someone’s fingernail scratched down on my back. I was so scared. luckily my cat was there and they comforted me hahaha. I’m already on bumble again so that’s cool. I think dating apps are a fucking hell though. I swear as you get older it becomes more difficult, but it’s because most people are wisening up and raising standards (a good thing). also I’m almost at the weight range that I’ve always been for most of my young adult life?? but my body composition is way better. seriously, exercise is so important (not just for looks even though that’s a plus, but for physical and mental/emotional health) I might post progress pics in the near future. I took one at each bmi because I also wanted to see how my body looked at each one. yeahhhh

#katdummy

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seminalstudy · 4 years

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2 . 8 . 2 0

may have a slight ivy addiction but they accompany business law studies quite nicely 🌱

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earthrealsvn · 3 years

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you get an expander [bnha]

headcanons of Bakugo, Iida, Kirishima, and Denki caring for you when you get your expander

category: fluff, crack

w.c: 740

warning(s): none but some swearing bc Bakugo

a/n: i got mine this week which was terrible because i had an oral exam in Spanish two days later. also i’ve been dead because my finals are next week so i was getting ready, and i’ll probably not post much during the next week either because i’ll be doing my finals. but have this while i procrastinate writing my Spanish composition.

Bakugo Katsuki

i feel like he’d be a stickler for following the rules

he’d listen to what your orthodontist says about caring for the expander

once you leave, he’d reluctantly let you get ice cream even though he’d rather you get a smoothie or something (he’s obviously secretly affected by your begging eyes)

“fine, but only because you keep complaining.”

for the rest of the day, he’d lowkey hover around you in order to make sure you’re okay

don’t bring it up though because he’ll get angry and stomp off

i think Bakugo would be the kind of person who would yell at you for trying to eat foods that get stuck in the expander but then be so gentle when he turns it because he doesn’t want to choke you

like he’d go from

“no, dumbass, don’t eat the fucking ramen!”

“stop moving, you’ll make me drop this down your throat.”

but, because it’s Bakugo, he’d absolutely make fun of you for your lisp

expanders are hard to talk around so there’s no way he wouldn’t laugh whenever you struggle to enunciate a word correctly

he’s not trying to be mean or maybe he is it’s just funny to him

an 8/10 experience

Iida Tenya

like Bakugo, Iida would also be a stickler

but, he’d be nicer about it

he’d also get you ice cream after your appointment, though he’d try to suggest a healthier alternative

“are you sure you don’t want a smoothie?”

he probably wouldn’t hover like Bakugo, but he’d still come to you if you called

if you tried to eat something he knows will get stuck, he’d gently tell you to eat something that would be easier to remove

“i know you love ramen, dear, but the rice is smaller and will be much easier to eat.”

when it comes time to turn the key, he’d also be gentle because he would also prefer to avoid choking you with the key

Iida is a respectful good boy, so he won’t tease you about the lisp

sure he’d find it funny, but he wouldn’t say anything

i think he’d try to help you re-learn how to say certain words

10/10 a good lad

Kirishima Eijiro

not going to lie,,, he probably took in about ¾ths of what your orthodontist said

he cares, he does

but man did he not want to listen to this long explanation

would take you out for ice cream afterwards with no questions asked because he wanted some too

“just don’t get something you have to chew too much, babe!”

for the rest of the day, Kirishima ‘hovers’ around you

and by ‘hovers’ i mean he literally just cuddles you 24/7 unless u gotta pee

if you want to eat something that could get stuck, he won’t stop you unless there’s a possibility of you dying (which is low, but don’t tell him or he’ll get sad)

“i mean go for it, but don’t complain when you can’t get it out.”

he’s kidding, please do, he thinks it’s adorable

he’d try his best to turn the key right but you’ll probably need to ask someone else

whenever you speak he has to hold back a laugh because he finds your lisp adorable

7/10 would be lower if he didn’t cuddle you all the time

Kaminari Denki

we all know he didn’t listen to anything the orthodontist said

he really tried but there was no way he could actually focus

he, like Kirishima, would get you ice cream with no questions asked

“you want [favorite topping]? oh… right.”

he’d be around you for the rest of the day, but mostly because he’s a simp and loves to be around you

despite him loving to be with you, he’ll refuse to kiss you until this whole ordeal is done

“babe, what if i shock you?!”

please kiss him anyways, he gets sad without them

he wouldn’t control what you eat because he’d honestly forget that you probably shouldn’t be eating the ramen

just like with kisses, Denki refuses to turn the key because he doesn’t want to shock you

you eventually have to force him and he’ll be more relaxed about doing it

he’ll probably make fun of your lisp but he’ll also hype you up so much you forget about it

6/10 on the caring spectrum but 10/10 boyfriend because at least he makes you laugh

#bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugo x reader #iida tenya #iida x reader #kirishima eijiro #kirishima x reader #kaminari denki #kaminari x reader #bnha fluff #im struggling #expanders are annoying

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j0hn-deacons-perm · 3 years

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Charcoal Dust

Female reader x Brian May

Word Count ~6,100.

I had this fic sitting in my documents since August and re-reading it, I didn’t hate it. So I guess I’m posting it. A bit of a warning I suppose...it goes get slightly suggestive but not 18+..If you’re sensative to that sort of thing, maybe skip this one my dudes.

With the last flick of your eyeliner, you deem yourself ready to head out to the bar. Freddie wanted to let off some steam with finals and you couldn't help but to join in. The apartment you two share have been littered with projects and materials and he almost strangled you for not cleaning up your charcoal dust. With that being the straw which broke the camel's back, tonight is to just get shit faced and to have fun. At least Fred settled one a bar that isn't too much of a walk so you don't have to worry about driving. Grabbing your coat, you leave the complex and into the cold december night.

***

"Y/N, dearie, you're here! Finally the night can commence!"

Freddie runs to you and wraps his arm around your shoulders.

"The boys are here as well. Can't tell you how much work it took to get John out."

Your eyes settle on Deaky, already a bit drunk and waving at you with a grin. "Evenin' Y/N! How's it going?"

"Not as good as you from the looks of it. But I bet a couple drinks could fix that."

You turn to the bar and order your usual mix drink along with a round of shots for everyone.

"Here's to having a good night amongst friends!"

"Cheers!"

Everyone downs their shot and you finally sit down, taking the empty spot next to Deaky. Roger and Brian seem to be in their own little world talking about something so you don't bother with that can of worms yet.

"Y/N, did you find a new model for your drawing yet?"

"Nope. That fucking Steven kid answered my ad, took my payment then just vanished. Won't answer the phone, haven't seen him around campus..I'm out like 80 quid and nothing to draw for my final."

"Ouch. What does it entail exactly?"

"I need to do a live nude model study."

Roger's ears seem to perk up with the mention of 'nude'.

"I can help you out with that, love."

Brian rolls his eyes and Freddie chuckles.

"So, me buying you a shot doesn't get your attention but mentioning I need to draw a naked person does?"

"Well, yeah. You should know this by now."

"I thought alcohol and nudity were on the same tier of importance to you, Taylor."

"Close..but not quite."

You nod at him with a fake academic-like expression as you rub your chin.

"Right, so if anyone knows someone who would be down to model for me let me know."

"I just said I was!"

"Anyone but Roger."

"Oh! What about Brian, dear? He'd be a great model."

The man in question glares.

"Uh..Fred, I don't think so."

"Why ever the fuck not? I've seen you naked before, May. You'd be fantastic. Plus Y/N gets to see your cute little bottom and huge cock!"

His cheeks turn bright red.

"Absolutely not, Fred."

Freddie looks over to your face, laughing despite blushing profusely. He knows of your small crush on the guitarist and loves to relish in opportunities making you and Brian uncomfortable in hopes you two would actually do something. Much to his, and your disappointment, nothing ever happens.

"Well I would do it but I don't have the time in my schedule considering I'm going to be stuck in the art building working on my own shit. Now come on, don't subject her to Roger."

Brian looks over to you, finding you playing with a hem on your shirt, trying to distract yourself from the awkward conversation.

"Well we both know Bri's not going to do it, so when can I come over, love?"

With a slump of your shoulders, you face the blonde.

"It's not a sexual thing where I draw everything, you know. You're going to be in a pose you can hold for a long period of time while I focus on drawing mainly your prominent body landmarks like ribs, pelvis, and muscles along with bones."

"See, Bri? It's not a personal experience, she's just studying your anatomy. With how lanky you are, it'd be easy to see everything."

"I'll also pay you for your time. Might be a bit before I can get the money but you will be compensated. Also if it's too much for you, you can wear your underwear for most of it until I need to get a certain part."

He looks between you and Freddie, a sigh escapes his lips.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Freddie smirks at you and gives a wink before coming into to whisper in your ear.

"Just a heads up, I've seen him naked and you may have to draw three legs."

You turn bright red but can't help but to cackle at his comment. Brian rolls his eyes and says 'fucker' under his breath.

*** A couple drinks turn to quite a few and talking with Brian ended up with the date, time and place for your drawing session. Now that three days have passed, the time arrives along with four knocks on the door.

"Hey Y/N."

"Hey Bri, thank you so much again for doing this for me."

He looks around the living room and sees you've set up your workspace: an easel, one of the living room chairs and one of the end tables with your box of drawing utensils. He also looks at how it's pointed towards the sofa with a sheet draped on it.

"How would you like me?"

"Comfortable. You'd probably be stuck in that spot for a while. I have pillows if you want 'em."

He nods and sits down on the sofa while you go towards the record player and pop on one of your favorite records.

"I like to work to music so hope you're okay listening to the Beatles for a few hours."

"Why would I complain about good music?"

You chuckle as you sit down in your spot, making any last minute adjustments to the easel's height. Turning your head to the sofa, you see him unbuckling his belt before slipping his shirt off. Back towards you.

Freddie was right, he has a good figure to make this assignment easy for you. Despite trying to stay professional, it's hard to not check out your crush as he strips. When the pants start slipping off, you turn away, too shy to look anymore.

He is your friend, Y/N...he is your friend who is helping you with a project. Don't make this weird..

But then you remember your roll of tape for the sheet so when it's break time, you won't lose the pose.

Shit...

"Hey Bri, once you settle on a pose, would it be okay if I put some tape around you so we don't lose the pose after we take a break?"

"Yeah, that's okay. I also might take you up on that pillow offer."

"Sounds good, I'll be right back."

You smile as you get up and leave for your bedroom to grab him a couple pillows off your bed. When you walk back into the living room, you swear the air has shifted once you see him laying in his underwear on the couch, watching the record spin on the turn table. A knot forms in your stomach..

You're working on your final, you're working on your final, you're working on your final.....

You walk up towards him and hands him the pillows. He promptly adjusts them to fit his pose.

"This alright for your composition, Y/N?"

"Let me check."

You sit down back in your chair and look at what you can see. You can see many of the body's landmarks..ribs, collar bones, muscles, parts of the pelvis...but not the strongest for a good composition.

"The pose is fine but I'm going to move over a bit to get a more interesting angle of ya."

You scoot your set up closer towards the turntable, giving a more dynamic angle of your model.

"Alright, we're looking good. Just need to tape where you're at and we can get started."

Hands slightly shaking on the masking tape roll, you rip pieces off and place them where Brian's posed. It's easy to tell he's tense.

"Bri, you're welcome to chat during this if you want. And whenever you want to take a break to stretch out, do not hesitate to ask."

"Sounds good, love. I guess I'm ready when you are."

He's called you love before but now it seems a bit different...

HE IS JUST HELPING YOU ON YOUR FINAL PROJECT, STOP IT

You rub over your paper pad, sighing and grab your hard charcoal to get the initial lines and shapes in. You can see him closing his eyes once more marks land on your paper. His shoulders also slowly begin to become less tense.

*** Two full albums later, Brian calls break time. You clean your hands off on your pants and set your charcoal back in its box next to you. Having the main structures done and angles correct, you feel good about the progress.

"How's it coming along, love?"

"I think maybe another hour or so and we'll be good."

"Can I sneak a look or is it confidential?"

You nod your head for him to take a look, his presence now behind your back as he analyzes your work. Nerves become more apparent the longer he's silent. You're about to look over your shoulder until you hear him say

"I'm really liking it so far, Y/N. Fred's told us about your work and it's incredibly articulate. However it is odd knowing that's me on your paper."

You blush profusely at his compliment, even more so now that you realize he's extremely close to your body wearing just underwear.

"Well how about I grab you a robe and I'll make us some coffee?"

"Sounds lovely to me, especially since seeing how you're fully clothed, I'm a bit vulnerable."

"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable! Let's get that robe."

"I'm not uncomfortable, just a bit cold maybe."

Leaving for your room once again, you grab your robe. It might be a bit too short for the gentle giant in your living room but it's better than nothing.

"I'm surprised you didn't give me Fred's."

"You don't want it, trust me."

He laughs, tying the belt around his middle and follows you into the small kitchen to grab his favorite mug whenever he visits. The silence grows more comfortable as you hear the coffee drip into the small pot and another cabinet opens to grab the sugar. You open the fridge to grab the milk. Your pour the hot liquid as he adds the sugar to the two mugs, followed by the splash of milk you like in yours. Smiles meet each other and you two sit back in the living room, a new record begging to be played.

"Want more Beatles or how about just some John? I have Plastic Ono Band and Imagine."

"Oh god, that's a decision isn't it?"

"It really is. I'm half tempted to just put Hard Day's Night on."

"Did you see that in theaters? The girls went absolutely mad."

"With that scene with John in the bath? I'm sure I still have hearing issues from that. It got even worse seeing Help."

"George bit?"

"George bit."

Laughs echoed amongst the walls, sharing knowing glances at how loud the shrieking was.

"Have to love sort of shared traumatic experiences. But I'm intrigued, who is your favorite of the four?"

"The Beatles or Queen?"

A slight smirk dances across his lips.

"Beatles? When I was younger, Paul. In more recent years, has to be John. I really respect his political work and his solo albums are so personal and raw."

He nods at your answer, agreeing.

"But with you lot? No one. Don't tell Freddie that, he'll plant something in my bed."

He answers in a hearty laugh.

'It's not like I can say you before we get back to working on a naked drawing of you...'

*** With Lennon playing on the speakers and more charcoal on paper, you're back at it again. Brian somehow managed to get himself back into the same pose with one or two directions from you. Things are now going easier considering the drawing is now just filling in the blanks until you couldn't get one detail right due to it being covered by his underwear. The more you try to remember how the muscles and bone look, the more incorrect it looks to your eyes. The inevitable needs to happen.

"Hey Brian, I'm hating to ask this but uh...I can't get the lower abs to look right with the pelvis. Could you....takeyourunderwearoff."

The last part just rushed past your lips as fast as you could. Your cheeks are bright red, a tell tale sign being how hot your face just became. It's even worse when he arches his brow.

"What was that last part?"

You sigh deeply.

"Could you...take your underwear off so I can get your pelvis a bit better?"

"Oh...uh, yeah."

His cheeks probably match yours but you cover your eyes while he strips the last bit of cloth standing between him being completely exposed in front of you.

"Alright Y/N, you can look now."

His nervous laughter is puntuated with your eyes opening again. While you have a clearer view of the muscles in question, you also have a clearer view of other things.

You now understand why it's called a happy trail.

Correcting his angles once again, you start where you just left off. Only to have the record stop playing, meaning you had to stand up and change the music. Meaning probably a clear view of his, what Freddie called, 'his third leg'. Hands slightly shakey as they remove the vinyl and put it back in its respective sleeve. Fingers lead their way towards Revolver, your go-to homework album. Once the intro of Taxman plays, you make your way back to your seat. During which, your peripheral vision does you dirty.

Fred wasn't entirely kidding. Dear god, Y/N, you're almost done just finish your damn project so Bri can go home and you can take a cold shower...

You sit back down and sigh, taking your charcoal and getting back to work, correcting any inaccuracies caused by his underwear being in the way and adding more to his figure. Side one is over far too soon, causing you to get up and be betrayed by your eyes once again.

At least now it's just adding a bit of definition to the head and small details. Taking the blunt end of your charcoal stick, you begin adding some hair to the drawing. The couple hairs on his chest, a gesture of pubic hair and some messy lines for the curls on top of his head. Staring at his face now, he peeks his eyes open and winks at you then smiles.

"I thought you weren't going to draw my face?"

"Just a little something so it's not just a blank shape."

"Alright. Do you want my eyes open or closed?"

"Do what you want, Bri."

His eyes land on the legs of your easel, moving them around a bit to follow the smudges of paint and charcoal about. Your eyes trace along the angles of his face, adding them to the basic head shape you added during the beginning steps. Browbone, cheeks, nose, eyes, brows, and gesture of his slightly open mouth put down on paper as you mark it done. Looking at the lower right corner of your paper and taking your thin marker, you write your name, class session, semester, and model's first name.

"Alright Bri, I think we're good to go. Want to come take a look?"

Standing up and putting your robe back on, he walks behind the chair. His eyes take in the final composition, from the pillows to his curls all the way down to how to managed to get the angle right on his feet. The sofa, while made of basic abstract shapes, make him look like he's properly weighed out on the cushions.

"It's weird seeing me like that."

"I bet. Talking with some of the models outside of class, they tell me it takes some getting used to seeing shit like this."

"Seeing what others see in your naked body is very...daunting. I think you made me look too good to be honest."

"I just drew what I saw, May."

You look up behind you and catch him blushing, looking down at you while smiling.

"You are incredibly talented, Y/N. If you don't get an A, I'm taking personal offense with your instructor."

You blush hard at the compliment while laughing at his comment.

"Honestly, I would too. You made a beautiful model, Bri. It was an honor to draw you."

Why did I just say that?..

He looks away, face looking shy. He takes compliments almost as bad as you. He sits down back on the sofa, looking at you.

"Now, you did say at the bar that I'd be compensated for my time."

"That I did."

You start to pack away your drawing supplies before digging a can of hairspray out of your backpack. Spraying a light coat over your drawing, you let it dry before packing it away for safe keeping.

His eyes watch you dismantle your workspace, showing him something you've done nearly a hundred times over. Little did you know, seeing you in your element like this made his heart swell. Brian knew you were an art student but never saw you at work. Little did he know, yours did the same when you saw him at practice or on stage. After cleaning up and putting furniture back in their right spots, you sit down in the chair to only find Brian patting the cushion next to him. Giving him a fake glare, you sit next to him.

"I've been thinking of payment and would it just be fine if we ordered some take away and hung out? I'd feel bad taking your money."

"You sure? I'd feel bad not compensating you for your time."

"Y/N, I laid on your couch, chatted with you and listened to my favorite music. Yeah it was a bit weird considering I take a girl out before she sees me naked but hey."

You laugh nervously at his joke, blushing for probably the 53rd time that night.

"I'll get dressed and we'll head out, that good for you?"

"Yeah. I need to change clothes anyway."

"Why? You look cute covered in charcoal."

Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest like a looney toons character. You and the guys are used to calling eachother cute or handsome but something about him being just about naked underneath your robe after drawing him for nearly two hours makes your heart race at a dangerous pace.

"Let's get ready, hmm?"

He stands up, clothes in tow as he walks to the bathroom. The sound of the door closing brings you back to the moment. Grabbing your pillows and sheet off the couch, you leave for your room. The slight smell of him lingering on the fabric fills your nostrils as you throw it towards your laundry basket.

"Goddammit...don't get your hopes up. It's not like this is a date, Y/N..." You whisper under your breath.

Grabbing the clothes you wore earlier today, you get dressed and apply a little extra deodarant and perfume. By the time you've put your shoes on and out of your room, he's slipping his shoes on. Even in mid-December, he's wearing his clogs. He hears your laughter from across the room.

"What's so funny?"

"Bri, it's Christmas in nearly two weeks and you're wearing clogs? If you slip on ice thanks to those things, I’m not helping you up."

"It hasn’t snowed yet, though! Have to wear them while there's still time. Besides, look who's bloody talking wearing canvas sneakers in the cold."

"At least my entire foot is in the shoe."

"That's it, I'm not letting you borrow my scarf if it's still windy. Not with that attitude."

You smack his arm and grab your purse off the coat rack. Locking the door behind you is the last thing before you two leave for any place that is still serving food at this hour.

***

Only getting as far as a corner store, you two buy a couple drinks then enough snacks to constitute a meal. The walk back to the apartment was on the quiet side, Brian looking up to the sky every few blocks in a vain attempt to see any stars that would accompany the moon shining that night. Not much for viewing besides the waxing moon hanging above your heads, hundreds of thousands miles away.

"Hey Bri?"

His features seem almost guilty, being caught in the act but he smiles at you.

"Would it be possible for you to teach me some things about what's up there? Fred's showed me some astrology stuff but it would be kinda cool seeing the constellations and what makes them, y'know?"

"I'd just talk your ear off."

"Can't be too bad, I deal with that already."

You wink as he rolls his eyes.

"But I'm serious, I want to know a little bit about what you study in uni. Especially since we go to different schools, it'd be interesting seeing another side of academics that isn't just color theory or how to mathematically draw cylinders."

"How do you mathematically draw cylinders?"

"It's all about angles and where it sits in space, mostly. Getting that perspective correct. After enough practice I guess you can just sort of see it rather than drawing out all these different grids and lines."

"Does that tie in with drawing people?...That's probably a stupid question of course it does."

"It does but with that, you also need to keep in mind where things in the body are. In our class we also have to do these...sculpting lessons. We're given half a skeleton on a stand and we sculpt the muscles using clay."

He nods, listening to you talk about your coursework and your subject matters from basics to more focused studies. Once back to your apartment, you find Freddie has returned from the art building. The noises of you and Brian taking off shoes and coats made him pop his head around the wall.

"Y/N, lovie, how did your drawing session go?"

"Rather well! Want to see it?"

"Well of course, dear!"

You grab your and Brian's bags from the corner store and place it on the kitchen counter before heading over to your drawing pad, propped up against your chair. Nerves arise as you watch his eyes gaze over your work, the smell of the hairspray you used seal in the charcoal floating to your nostrils.

"Fucking hell, this is brilliant. If you get a bad mark I'm visiting your professor during office hours and giving them a piece of my mind."

He looks down Brian's legs on the paper, your careful contour lines elegantly outlining the muscles.

"I think you forgot a leg, though."

Brian's rolls his eyes as Fred's cackle fills the room. You slap the sketchpad closed and return it to it's spot next to your school bag. A sympathetic look is aimed towards your model.

"Come on you two, lighten up. How about a game of Scrabble, hmm?"

"It is getting a little late, Fred, and Brian has to get back to his place."

"He knows he's welcome to crash on the couch if he wants."

The man in question looks between you two, biting his lip in thought.

"I wouldn't mind crashing here tonight. I'm sure Roger wouldn't mind the flat to himself."

"Then it's settled. You old ladies get your food out of the kitchen and we start this game."

What wasn't expected was Brian winning with such a lead. You could've sworn you've seen Fred's eyes glow red as he told the curly haired man to get out of his home for disrepecting him that severely. He went to bed infuriated as he left you two out in the living room to watch TV.

"You sure you want to spend the rest of your Friday night here?"

"It's technically Saturday morning now."

"Smart ass."

He smiles and slowly leans towards you on the sofa, his warmth sneaking up the arm closest to him.

"Hey Bri?"

He hums in response, eyes not leaving the program painting the screen.

"I never really properly thanked you for helping me with my assignment. You honestly saved my grade modeling for me."

He turns his head to face you, eyes looking at yours illuminated by the screen's light.

"You're more than welcome, love. It was interesting watching you work. You have this little face you make when you're really concentrated."

"Where I don't blink and my mouth is partially open? That's my focusing amphibian look."

He chuckles.

"Roger does the same thing but that's his confused look."

"I thought his confused face was this.."

You imitate the face you've seen many times during your homework sessions with the boys. Also when he tries to understand what Fred wants to do add extra flair to shows or songs.

"No, you're right. That's the one." He laughs.

Comfortable silence floats around the air as you two continue watching telly. Thirty meants turn into 90 as the episodes of various shows play before you. Slight comments here and there said but it wasn't until Brian laid his head on top of your head that something was really spoken.

"I have a question."

"Care to share with the class, May?"

You can feel his cheeks stretch out with a slight smile.

"Would you think less of me if I put my studies on hold when, or even if the band gets bigger? I know we only have one album out at the minute but I've thought about it and..."

Patting his knee, you spoke.

"I could never think less of you for persuing something like that. You and the guys have worked your asses off and if, no, when your hardwork pays off, grab those opportunities. You earned any success that comes your way."

He moves his head to look directly into your eyes.

"Knowing you, you'll eventually get your PhD but sometimes life throws you a curveball and you have to just roll with what it gives you. If it's Queen, then see it through."

Surprise washes over you as he gives you a hug, enveloping you in his arms tightly as his face creates a home in the crook of your neck. This breath along your skin giving away to goosebumps.

"I've been thinking about this for weeks and um...."

"Did you already drop out, Bri?"

"No, no..."

"Uh huh..." You narrow your eyes at him.

"Seriously, Y/N, I haven't dropped out of uni. I've been thinking about...."

You pull away and look at his eyes directly, cheeks flushed even in the low light of the living room.

"What is it?"

He sighs, looking down at his lap.

"You."

Eyes going wide, you look at anything but him. The stray floaty in the air, the reflection of light as a car drives past your flat, the one stray strand of yarn or whatever it is sticking out of the rug on the floor.

"I'm not saying this because you drew me naked and I'm feeling obligated to but tonight made me realize something."

Your eyes finally focusing on your hands, fingernails picking at cuticles.

"If this does become something larger than life, I don't want to leave you behind. When Freddie introduced us to you last year, there was something about you I couldn't shake off. I wasn't sure what it was the chalk pastel dust you were covered in or something else."

You smile at his words but your heart doesn't lighten up the speed at the rate it's beating. When it comes loose, it's going to skyrocket across the English channel.

"But now actually getting to know you over time and tonight made me come to the conclusion that....I certainly have feelings for you and I don't know what you want to do with that information."

Your fingers stop picking at a loose bit of skin on the side of your nail and you swear your heart just stopped in your chest. Eyes wide, you stare at him. Mouth agape, not knowing what to say other than just "Bri..."

"I can see I made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. Maybe I should head ho-"

As he begins to stand up, you grab his wrist and pull him right back down towards your side.

"Meeting you was one of the most profound days in my life, Bri. You...fuck,...I'm not a wordsmith and I'm nervous as all hell right now."

He smiles ever so slightly but his leg bounces with such vigor you wouldn't be surprised if your downstairs neighbor complained to the landlord tomorrow.

"And now hearing you may have feelings for me? Like...how do I even process this when it's something I've been wanting to hear for almost a year?"

It's now his turn for his eyes to buldge open in shock.

"When you first talked to me about astrophysics and I saw your entire demeanor light up with such passion, my heart damn near stopped. I couldn't focus on anything else but you. Even when you're just relaxed I feel like that. You're breathtaking and I'm pretty sure I went comotose and had a lucid dream seeing you perform with the boys for the first time."

He smiles, eyes looking directly into yours as your mouth just vomits out any word you promised to never let out.

"I've fallen for you so hard. I love your smile and laugh. I love the slope of your nose. I love that you've let your hair be curly because let's be real, you looked real questionable when you straightened it."

He laughs and you can tell his cheeks are heating up.

"I love that little noise you make when you find something interesting in your textbooks and your hums when you're thinking of a new song and your little eyerolls at the boys when they're being dumbasses and your sense of humor and just......fuck, look at you! You're so fucking handsome and that's even with the clogs!"

He grabs your hands, rubbing his thumbs against the knuckles. His smile shining so bright even with the low light from the television that's now taken a backside seat of your conversation. He looks down at your entertwined hands.

"Calling you a friend and wanting to see you has gotten me out of bed so many days Y/N, I've lost count. I can't even imagine if you'd be more than a friend to me but I guess we can find out."

Your smile has extended to lengths you didn't know possible. Letting go of his hands, you wrap your arms around him instead.

"I forgot to say this, but I also love your hugs."

A chuckle escapes his chest and he holds you tighter, a kiss lands on your cheek. Time goes by as shows flash before your eyes, eventually leading to you falling asleep in his arms with him not too far behind.

*** Hours pass before you awake, head laying on his lap and knees tucked in. Sitting up, you find him using the arm rest as his pillow, arms crossed underneath his face. He looks so peaceful and you don't want to take him up but you want to sleep in your bed.

Dare you ask if he wants to join you?

It'll just be us sleeping together in the same bed and maybe cuddles...?

You brush his curls away from his face, tucking what you can behind his ear as you shake him gently.

"Hey Brian..?"

He doesn't stir, contemplating on just his carrying his lanky ass to your room.

"Bri.. wake up, hon. Come on."

You continue rubbing his upper arm until he stirs awake, opening his eyes and squinting at the screen's light.

"...What time is it?"

"Late. Would you want to sleep on the couch or my bed?"

"I'm fine out here, I don't want to take your bed from you."

You smile and chuckly slightly.

"I mean share the bed with me."

He smiles at the idea but eyes are shy.

"I'd like that."

You two stand up, him shutting up the TV and you leading the way to your room with his hand in yours. Navigating the small hallway at night lead to him bumping into you twice, and him saying apologies but you could not care less.

Once in your room and switching on the light, he's greeted to your own personal space. He can see canvases with studio projects painted on them under your bed, posters littering your walls. Some local band shows you've attended, a Queen one catching his interest. His eyes also catch your Beatles poster, the one from their White Album. He also sees the pillow he used earlier that day when he was modeling along with the robe tossed into the corner with the rest of your dirty laundry.

"I think I might have a pair of pants you could wear unless you're not a pants to bed kind of guy."

"No pants is what I normally go for but if you're uncomfortable with that I ca-"

"It's fine with me, just no funny business, May."

"Are cuddles out of the equation?"

"I sure as hell hope not."

He smiles and removes his necklaces, placing them next to your sketchbooks on top of the small desk next to the bed. You change into sleep shorts as he takes his trousers off.

Never thought I'd see that twice today.

Shutting off the light and climbing into bed, he goes first, leaving you in your usual spot. Fluffing up the pillows and adjusting the blankets now done, He wraps you in his arms almost immediately, lips kissing your cheek gently.

"You have enough pillows, Bri?"

"Yes. Thank you, love."

"Want me to grab another blanket?"

He laughs gently, kissing your face one last time.

"I'm more than okay."

You turn around to face him head on, able to make out where his eyes are looking. Fingers playing with one curl, eventually leading to caressing the side of his face. Thumb tracing over one of his cheekbones.

"You're so handsome, Bri."

"Ever look at yourself?"

"Do you always kiss ass?"

"Not until the 3rd date."

You slap his arm, laughing.

"I guess with that comment I won't give you a kiss goodnight."

His face contorts in fake hurt. It's wiped off as soon as you bring your lips to his, fingers gently caressing his jaw as you kiss him. Almost as fast as it happened, it stopped. Smiles painting both your faces.

"Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Bri."

Turning back around, you scoot closer to him. Arms around your waist and face tucked near your shoulder, you two fall asleep.

*** You wake up before him. His arms are still wrapped around your middle and your legs entangled with one anothers. Your bladder urging you out of the warm confines of your bed, you carefully move out of his grasp to not awake him. Mission was successful as you close the door behind you, hearing Freddie in the kitchen as you walk to the bathroom. After giving yourself a pep talk while washing you hands, you face your roommate, face giving you a smirk.

"Y/N....I saw his god awful shoes by the door but he wasn't on the couch. Please tell me the details, darling!"

"Nothing really happened, Fred! We ended up talking after you went to bed and he sort of told me he had feelings for me and we passed out on the couch."

"He finally told you? About fucking time! You have no idea how much Roger got on his case. Even Deaky was begging him to shut up and ask you out. 'Oh how is Y/N doing? Is she free sometime soon, Fred? What should I get her for Christmas? What does she like? Do you think she likes me?'....every practice Y/N..every practice."

"At least I finally got around to it, Freddie."

He wrapped his arms around you, voice heavy with sleep.

"Now I get to annoy you about her even more now that we're dating."

Brian kisses your neck as Freddie pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Please don't subject us to that. We've suffered enough, dear."

***

aaaay, it’s done! Tbh, I got the idea for this fic after looking through some of my life drawing sketches. Also, a tip with charcoal or chalk pastel drawings from an art student...use hair spray. It’s cheaper than fixitive spray, works just as well, doesn’t affect the colors in chalk pastels, and doesn’t harm your lungs with the fumes (not nearly as badly, anyway). Besides that, thank you so much for reading, liking, reblogging, etc 💖💖

#queen #queen band #queen fanfiction #brian may imagine #brian may fanfiction #brian may x reader

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ais-for-alex · 3 years

Text

The Scars of Our Past: Chapter 23

Hope y’all enjoy the chapter 🥰

“Why is it every time I see you, you look even more exhausted than when you left?” Fabian said only half joking while looking him up and down critically. Leo huffed a sigh as he dropped his bag and plopped down next to his friend to start lacing up his skates.

Leo chuckled in response, “I don’t know man, it’s just been… an emotionally charged week.”

“Yeah? Didn’t you just move in with that guy, I thought you would be happy? Is it already not working out?”

“No,” Leo answered quickly, making Fabian glance over at him in surprise, “no, it’s been great, Finn is great. There’s just…” Leo let his voice trail off, not entirely sure what it was he wanted to say. His mind flicked back to the night before, falling asleep in Finn's bed, the man himself wrapped up tight in his arms, the warm velvety timer of his voice lulling him into unconsciousness as he painted pictures with his words. Then this morning when he woke up alone, the warm sheets his only companion.

When the early morning sunrays began streaming through Finns open blinds Leo had slowly blinked his eyes open a bit nervously. He couldn’t help the butterflies fluttering inside him, he was scared to see where he would stand with Finn now that the cover of night had been stripped away by the golden light of morning. However, it seemed his fear was unwarranted as the redhead was nowhere to be found once Leo had finally opened his eyes. Glancing down at the empty space Finn’s body had once occupied, Leo found a slip of paper; one edge was ragged like it had been torn from a notebook and in neat angular handwriting was a message.

Good morning Nutter Butter. I went out for a run to clear my head this morning so I probably won’t see you until later. Have a good day at practice, I’ll see you tonight.

At the bottom he had signed his name and added a little doodle of a fish. Leo smiled softly reading the words over again, he trailed a fingertip over the paper feeling the little indents from where Finn's pen had pressed into the paper. And when he wandered back over to his own room to get ready to head to practice Leo took that paper with him, he so very carefully tucked it into his nightstand wanting to keep it safe.

“There’s just a lot,” he finally finished.

Fabian nodded, seeming to catch some of the meaning behind those words, “Hey, you know what? How about after practice we head to the coffee shop and you can tell me about that lot that you have going on. Maybe an outside opinion can make it easier, or even just talking about it might help.”

Leo felt a little jolt of affection for his friend, after all Fabian had been the first one to welcome him to Gryffindor with open arms and had since remained as a constant support.

“That actually sounds really great.”

“Alright, well it’s a plan,” he said with a crooked grin, “but now we need to get out on the ice before Madam Maxine comes searching for us, cause believe me it would not be fun.”

“I’ll take your word for that,” Leo said with a laugh following Fabian out of the locker room and towards the ice. The two of them parted and began working through their warm ups, Leo melted into the motions stretching and loosening his shoulders, his hips, making sure his muscles were warm and ready to let him fly.

Once he had finished his warm ups Leo set to work on the second of the new jumps Madam Maxine had added to his program. The quads were challenging, that’s an understatement, Leo thought to himself as he pulled his body off the ice for the umpteenth time rubbing at the sore bruise forming on his ass cheek.

“Leo, come.”

Leo glanced up to see that Madame Maxine had glided elegantly onto the ice herself and was beckoning him over to her. Skating closer Leo blinked a bit in shock, he was always thrown when he came across someone taller than himself and his coach positively towered over him on her skates.

“You’re making progress,” she said, accent thick around the words.

“Thank you Madam,” he nodded.

“You still need to work on your expressions though, your face is completely blank when you skate. I can see the gears turning in your mind as you perform.”

“Uh… yeah, I’m still working on that,” Leo said, feeling a self-conscious flush rise in his cheeks. He still had no idea how to make his feelings come across in his performance, after all he had begun figure skating as a way of running and hiding from the feelings inside him, how was he supposed to simply just let them out for everyone to see?

“Have you settled on a composition? You should really be working with your music at this stage.”

“No, um not quite,” he said, brushing a bit of hair out of his face nervously. Leo knew that he should have picked his music a long time ago but for some reason anything that he listened to just didn’t feel right, it didn’t fit.

“Hmm, you have one more week to choose,” she said sternly, “if you have not selected a piece by then, you will not be ready to compete.”

“Alright, I’ll have something by then,” Leo replied, Madam Maxine simply nodded and gestured for him to continue his work before she skated away to speak to Gilderoy. With a little sigh Leo got back to it.

***

Leo groaned at the ache in his bones when he finally left the ice, making his way into the locker room on his blade guards. Sitting down on the bench to unlace his skates Leo snagged a water bottle and his phone from his skate bag only to realiz there were several new notifications waiting for him. He huffed a laugh at the name that popped up when he clicked on the message.

(Mighty Mouse): Video attached

Leo clicked on the video and suddenly Logan’s face was filling up his screen as he held the camera in front of himself.

“So, when I got to the rink for practice today, guess what I found waiting for me?” Logan’s voice fell from the phone's speaker filled with exasperation. He shifted the camera to what looked like his stall in the team’s locker room, pushed to the side was a pile of what looked like children’s hockey equipment in the Lions colors.

“This,” he said, turning the camera back to himself dramatically, “is the aftermath of what one James Potter considers a prank.” Logan reached down and grabbed something out of the pile and held up a ridiculously small jersey that had read Tremblay 10. “He came in here and replaced every single piece of gear in my stall with equipment meant for six year olds,” there was a pained look on Logan’s face as he said that but Leo couldn’t help the cackle that ripped through him at the thought of Logan walking into the locker room to find everything in his spot miniaturized.

“And then!” Logan continued on the video, “when I being a little confused as to where all my crap went, asked what was going on, this bastard had the audacity to look me dead in the eye and say ‘Oh, I thought these would fit you better, with how small you are and everything.’”

Leo completely lost it at that coupled with the crazed look on Logan’s face, he could barely breathe through his howling laughter.

“I swear, if he didn’t need them to play I would have taken his knee caps right then and there,” Logan zoomed the camera a little closer to his face and let his voice fall a bit to a whisper, “but I’ll get him back, believe me I’ll get him back.” Logan’s eyes glowed with mischief, “I’ll keep you posted,” he said with a wink just as the video ended.

Leo was still chuckling as he clicked the next attached video clip which looked like it was sent a little later than the first. Logan was now in what looked like a weight room, he had changed into a Lions logo muscle shirt, a pair of basketball shorts, and he had his curls tucked up under a snapback. Leo struggled to pull his focus onto the words coming from Logan’s mouth as his strong arms and shoulders were now in full view.

“So,” Logan started glancing over at the door to make sure no one was coming, “I’ve devised the perfect payback.” Logan grinned deviously at the camera and held up a little container that made Leo gasp when he recognized it, “well, if you don’t know, this here is citric acid and even just a tiny bit will turn something into a tart little surprise.” Logan chuckled and grabbed a bottle of blue Gatorade, “this is James’s, he’s pretty much the only one that drinks the blue. Honestly, he’s a little obsessive about it. Well, let’s see how much he likes it with… let’s say a hefty amount of citric acid in there.”

“Oh no,” Leo couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out as he watched Logan unscrew the cap and dump more citric acid than should ever be consumed into the Gatorade. He gave the bottle a shake and placed it over by someone’s gym bag.

“And now we wait,” he grinned and wagged his eyebrows at the camera suggestively as the clip cut out.

Leo didn’t hesitate for a second before clicking on the last video Logan had sent, from the timestamp only a few minutes ago. This clip was a little different, Logan was no longer holding the camera; he must have propped his phone up against an unused weight plate as Leo could now see the rest of the weight room. There were now several more people there using various machines, Leo’s eyes instantly snapped to where Logan was off to the side doing deadlifts, he had to stop himself from gasping aloud at the sight. Tearing his eyes away from Logan to glance at the others, he spotted none other than Sirius Black standing and chatting with a slightly shorter man with a mop of curly brown hair and thin wire framed glasses. The two were near where Logan had placed the contaminated Gatorade bottle. As they talked the man with glasses, who Leo assumed must be James, reached down and snagged the bottle. Leo cringed in anticipation as he watched James laugh carelessly at something Sirius said then finally bring the bottle up to his lips.

James had taken the biggest gulp imaginable of the sour liquid and Leo watched the exact moment his very soul left his body as it hit tongue. What happened next must have only been milliseconds but Leo still could see as James face first went green, then ghostly pale, his eyes wide and panicked before he sprayed the drink directly into Sirius’s face.

Leo was laughing so hard he wasn’t even making noise anymore just clutching his stomach and shaking from it as he watched James drop to his knees and spit trying to get the sour taste out of his mouth while Sirius was spluttering in disgust. In the background Leo could hear the rest of the guys in the weight room laughing just as hysterically. Suddenly, Logan's face came into frame just as the video ended.

“What was that about?”

Leo glanced up at Fabian who had settled next to him to unlace his own skates. Still trying to suppress his laughter, Leo just shook his head, “nothing, just a friend doing something stupid.”

“Yeah? You know, I think that was the first time I’ve seen you actually laugh like that.”

“That’s not true,” Leo immediately shot back, “I laugh all the time, it’s not my fault you aren’t as funny as you think you are.”

Fabian made a scandalized face and put a hand over his heart, “Ouch, that hurt. I am mildly offended. I am a hoot.”

Leo scoffed at that.

“And besides I’m talking like actually laughing, not that polite little chuckle you do.”

Just then Leo felt his phone buzz in his hand, when he glanced down he nearly choked at the image waiting for him. Logan had taken off his shirt, revealing his entire chest and torso glistening in a sheen of sweat leftover from his workout, his curls were fluffing out from under the edges of his snapback and he had his face scrunched up like he was laughing super hard. The caption ‘I Won’ was written across the image, in the background Leo could just see both James and Sirius glaring daggers at him.

“Is that this ‘friend’ that seems able to make you laugh uncontrollably?” Fabian asked leaning over to sneak a peek at the picture.

“Hmm, yeah,” Leo answered, his eyes still roving over the image of Logan on his screen, a soft smile pulled at his lips, “this is Logan,” he turned the screen a bit showing Fabian.

“Wait, Logan? As in Logan Tremblay? From the Lions?”

Leo simply nodded.

“From that look on your face I take it he has something to do with everything you’ve had going on lately?”

He nodded again.

Fabian chuckled and leaned down to pull off his skates, “Well, hurry up and get changed then you can tell me all about him, and Finn.”

Leo rolled his eyes fondly but slipped his phone back into his bag and began pulling off his own skates. It wasn’t long before the two of them, now clad in their street clothes, had made their way to Polaris Coffee claiming a cozy booth in the corner to chat.

Leo wrapped his hands around his drink, the heat bleeding through the ceramic into his palms. He couldn’t help but think back to the last time he had sat in this coffee shop, a different redhead smiling at him across the table. Fabian was almost uncharacteristically quiet, evidently waiting for Leo to feel comfortable enough to share the things that have been on his mind over the past weeks.

“So…” Leo began not entirely sure where to start.

“So…” Fabian mimicked raising his eyebrows teasingly, making Leo laugh. A bit of tension bled out of him as he took a sip of his coffee, he let the warm rich flavor wash over his tongue and calm his nerves.

“I think I’m falling in love with my roommate… and his best friend,” Leo said, jumping straight into the heart of the matter. And just like that it was like a dam breaking, words tumbled out of Leo’s mouth as he told Fabian about his time with Finn and Logan. He glossed over the parts about his past, but he told him about every subtle look, every gentle brush of fingertips, and sweet embrace. By the time he had run out of words Leo’s heart ached with the knowledge that he was utterly fucked by the intensity of his feelings for these two.

“You know,” Fabian started setting his mug down with a soft clunk on the table, “to me it sounds these people mean a lot to you, I’m honestly not seeing a problem here.”

Leo sighed and flopped back against the booth, his head knocking against the wooden part, “They really do, and well, I guess it’s not so much of a problem as just a bit complicated. I mean I like them, both of them. But Finn and Logan have this… thing between them. Like I get the vibe that they like each other, but then there’s moments with each of them that makes me think just maybe they like me. I just… I don’t know Fab.”

“Have you tried talking to them?” Fabian asked, “Like I know that sounds like the cliché answer but honestly, I think that’s really the only way you’ll be able to know how either of them are actually feeling. About you, and about each other.”

Leo snagged his mug off the table and took a sip before replying, “I know,” he sighed. “I know I need to talk to them. I don’t think it’ll be bad with Finn, from what I’ve seen so far he’s pretty open with his thoughts but Logan, Logan will be a challenge.”

Fabian shot him a sympathetic look at that, “Well, I’m always here for moral support,” he raised his mug in a little salute.

Leo chuckled and rolled his eyes but clinked his own mug against it before taking another sip of his drink.

Read on ao3

Chapter 22 Chapter 24

#sweater weather #coast to coast #leo knut #logan tremblay #lumosinlove #o'knutzy #finn o'hara #writing #figure skating #hockey #the scars of our past

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diegolabhont · 4 years

Text

The beginning

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing: Zoey Wade x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes) & Poppy Mid-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes)

(Keep reading please, I have an explanation)

Genre: None (in this post, al least)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really.

Tags: @nevermindme-justreading

SO... here´s the thing:

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes) Beck is a trans latin guy, but you´ll see about that as the story takes off. This is just the presentation for the MC. Sorry

Now, about the PAIRING... I, as a writter, didn´t want to loose the opportunity to writte for my Queen Zoey and my other Queen Fic!Poppy (I SWEAR THAT´S NOT BECAUSE SHE´S ASIAN) so I will be using the same character to both, kinda like choices style, kinda. If you have any comment, PLEASE BE RESPECTFULL and patient with me. This is also my first english fanfic and english is not my mother language, so... i´m sorry fo the grammar errors. Also, I don´t live in the US so sorry if it´s a little bit weird.

CHAPTERS

Chapter one

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Belvoire University. That´s where they were. During all of those years of hard work and hidden passion for music after heavy and demanding tasks back in the family farm, the last thing Beck Hughes thought would happen to them were getting a full scholarship for a music and composition major in one of the most prestigious institutions all over New York and they were truly, truly grateful. If you ask them, the view in here was too flashy for their simple taste, but they couldn´t complain, after all, they did have one of the best music programs at their disposition.

In the meantime, they were walking through campus feeling oh so in home. The gazes of the students around fixed on them as if Beck was some kind of alien in this glamorous and wealthy world. Beck didn´t care honestly. Too long ago they got used to teasing, to comments behind Beck´s back, to be judged for banal and superficial things. At least nobody was being dangerous. That´s why they walked with confidence and upright posture, feeling the strap of their guitar case dangle across their shoulder through his leather jacket. Maybe that bored and unimpressed expression they put up to pretend was the one to blame for the ruckus, especially when they clearly didn´t belong there, or maybe it was Beck´s second hand clothes, they didn´t know, but all that stopped mattering when their fear to be inside of a school drama came true the moment in which a noisy blonde bumped into their way.

At first they didn´t understand the magnitude of the problem, why was a simple coffee such a big deal? All the blonde girl had to do was move her lazy ass and ask for another one to herself instead of yelling to this poor girl just like a Karen. Yes, it was naïve of Beck to believe that they could interfere to peace the waters; the only thing he got was to bring all the fury from the banshee imitator right at them. Well, at least the first victim looked a bit more relaxed.

“Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me like that?!” She yelled “Do you have any idea of who am I?”

No, who cares?

“I´m…”

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t have to worry about who she is. But you should worry about who I am”

Beck heard a voice talking right next to them, but again… Who. Cares? People was staring still; can we all just forget everything or doing a raincheck? Beck snorted with annoyance while turn around to face the new combat player logging in.

“Come on, tag along, shall we? Let’s acknowledge everybody’s name! The guy in the back, who are you? Who are everyone? I totally care!”, he thought for a split second, but their brain stopped working completely to the sight of a stunning and beautiful strawberry blonde standing right in front of them. He didn’t even notice how everyone was deadly quiet.

“Shit, she´s gorgeous…”

“And I’m about to become your first and last memory of Belvoire University”

Aaaand… she ruined it. Beck let out a chuckle, a challenging, mocking smile on his face.

“Is that a threat?”

Please, there was no possible way she could do anything to make them back down. Nothing. It took two steps from Beck to close the distance between them and the strawberry blonde, leaning gracefully to poke fun at the noticeable height difference. The girl didn´t back down neither, accepting the challenge with a murderous, threating look.

“You won’t last a day here”

Oh, that how it´s going to be, I see…

“I'm a trans person in a conservative, religious town… Try me”

Blonde´s face was a poem. The surprise so clearly drawn on her face that they could see exactly how her brain stopped, looking up and down Beck, astonish, processing the information, … “Ow, I broke her” They thought, amused. People were completely eating all up the show, Beck could feel every eye on the interaction, what was going on in this school? Fuck, where did they got into?

“Look, I gotta go. If you find something clever to say, just text me, a ‘right?” Said Beck, very willing to leave.

“Rude!”

Squawked Young Karen.

“Oh, snap. New Dude´s not backing down!” said someone.

They didn´t even care, Beck kept walking without looking back and they would be considerably far if not to a hand clawing back their free shoulder.

“How you dare—!“

“Hey, Beck! Look at the time, we gotta go!”

A girl shows up from nowhere, took his arm and pulled them out of the commotion, running away as if a bear were behind them. Seriously, what the hell? The girl, that finally looked like the danger was gone, stopped right in front of a large and fancy door and slammed her keycard against some kind of sensor.

“Wish the circumstances were different, but welcome to de Winfrey dorm complex, AKA your new home!

She was agitated, naturally, but was until that moment that Beck had the chance to look at her with more detail… Gosh, are really all the ladies here that pretty? What´s in the water? Her hair, her eyes, those lips... She was completely flawless, a breath taking beauty.

Feeling confused and intrigued, Beck stumbled inside looking around in awe. Just a fraction of that room looked even more expensive than their own home!

“So… you are my… counselor or something?” they asked, the gorgeous girl looking too young to be one, though. She then cracked up a smile and a little chuckle.

“Beautiful”

“Starting with the wrong foot here and there, don´t you?” She grinned back to they and all the things Beck could feel was embarrassment and a beating heart making heat on their face. “You got out of that one alive. Barely.” She said, looking concerned once again, the laughing disappeared from those cute eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly… You´re gorgeous” A slight blush appeared on her cheeks, alarming Beck.

“Did I just…”

“…Is what I was thinking, but did I just say it out loud?” I hate me, I hate me, I hate me…

“You did, and you´re absolutely, positively right. I´m Zoey Wade, your roomie…”

Oh, so she has a name… wait a minute…

“You´re my roomie?” Beck asked taken aback, what does this means? They felt restless, kind of anxious. It´s this even allowed or the school was acting based on...

Zoey seemed to understand the internal fight in their mind because she immediately clarified.

“You don´t have to worry, this kind of dorms tend to be mixed so it´s kinda normal. Besides I check your info on The T and I saw you were LGBT+ so I´m not feeling…”

“My what?” That´s where she realized.

“Oh! Right… Ok, I´ll make it simple. Here there is a whole system here based on reputation.” Zoey took her phone and showed Beck a long numbered list. Number one and on the top were the same girl they encounter earlier: Poppy Min-Sinclair was there, showing a radiant and flashy perfect smile, next was the banshee named Chloe St James, people, people, people, and low, low into the very bottom, was Beck Hughes… Or we most say “Newbie” Hughes.

“Y´see... you are the new addition and The T´s been all over you. Specially because… well…” She looked reluctant to say it, but it wasn´t actually bad to Beck. They were used to.

“I don´t belong. Got it”

Beck let the guitar case on the floor, right next to the couch, walking around to see their new place, feeling Zoey´s eyes on them all the time.

“I don’t really care, I came here to have a good time and enjoying my music” and to save my life, basically. “So… mind if you show me some fun?” Said Beck, a little flirty. They were a little insecure, taking their chances… New town, new life, right? The seductive smirk they got back relaxed them a little bit more.

“Oh, Beck… I think we will be getting along just fine.”

#choices #queen b zoey #zoey wade #trans #ftm #zoey x mc #MaleMC #bea hughes #Beck Hughes

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

You're a Mess, 1 (Crygi) - Bell

A/N: This is my first fic I’ve submitted and I’m absolutely shaking with excitement for people to read it! Feel free to find me over discord or send an anon here if you have any concrit or anything else you’d like to say!!

Gigi Goode was never an extrovert, avoiding large crowds as often as possible, which was exceedingly difficult, with her being a musician and all. She truly thought that her music would never go anywhere when she started posting her little compositions on Soundcloud in high school, but life had other plans. When she got the call from the executive of the biggest record label in the country, she thought it was a prank one of her friends had set up, but here she was, almost ten years later, halfway across the world from everyone she’s ever loved, smoking behind a concert hall in Amsterdam. She would do anything to be in her bed in her parents’ basement with her dog and a plate of pizza rolls. Gigi snaps back to reality when her tour manager Adore comes out of the service door and clears her throat, “Geege, you’ve got ten until.”

“Thanks, I’ll be right in.” Adore heads back in, propping the door. Gigi sighs, twisting the cherry off of her cigarette and grinding it into the cement with her boot. “I need to call mom.” She mutters to herself, feeling a coolness to her cheeks as she turns, realizing she had been crying without noticing. She wipes her cheeks and enters the hall, grabbing her guitar and checking the tuning before stepping into the wings, not trusting the new roadie they hired for the European leg of her tour, Nicky, she thinks her name is. Gigi meets eyes with the stage manager and watches for her entry queue. When she finally gets it, she steps into the blinding lights, and the crowd goes crazy.

-^-^-^-^-

The ride to the hotel after the show was completely uneventful, mostly Gigi had been asleep the whole time. As much as she loved performing, it took a lot out of her, especially large venues like this one. The van rolls to a slow stop as they pull up to a stoplight, and in her half asleep daze, Gigi could swear she saw a familiar mop of red hair striding down the block. The woman turns the corner and the illusion breaks, the colour fading from the stranger’s hair revealing a dull brown. A few lights later, they pull up to the stone facade of the hotel that Adore had booked for the night. Gigi checks the world clock app on her phone and sees that it’s still evening back home, so she decides to call Jaida, despite being almost exhaustion drunk, from both the show and barely sleeping the night before. She flops on the too large and too fancy bed, dialing the too familiar number of her best friend, staring out the window at the canals as the phone rings, zoning out until she hears Jaida answer.

-^-^-^-^-

The next morning, Adore comes knocking on Gigi’s hotel room door, “Get up bitch! We gotta get our asses on a plane!” She slaps the door a few more times for good measure and waits for the younger girl to open the door. A moment passes and Gigi opens the door, drool crusted in the corners of her mouth, remnants of last night’s eyeliner smudged across the bridge of her nose, and her hair sticking out in every direction.

"I’m not going to Paris. I’m going home.“ Gigi insists, rubbing her eyes.

"Funny joke, girlie. Get your stuff packed and meet me downstairs.” Adore laughs, shaking her head.

"I’m not joking. I’m going home. I already called the label and talked to Michelle. She booked me a ticket home, so you’re right, I should probably pack, thanks Adore!“ Gigi smiles condescendingly before closing the door and shuffling over to her all but exploded suitcase to pack.

-^-^-^-^-

The rain pounding against the taxi’s windshield keeps Gigi awake as she lets her mind wander. She rubs her eyes wearily, her face puffy caused by either the crying or the low quality sleep on the plane. Since leaving the hotel she had almost texted Crystal three times, once in the lobby, once in the cab to the airport, and once at her gate. Instinctively, Gigi fumbles for her phone only to realize it’s beenoff for the last seven hours. She powers it on and checks her notifications. Texts from her mom, Adore, and Jaida were there, as well as some emails from her label, but nothing else. Gigi sighs, Why would Crystal text me. She doesn’t even know I’m coming home. She momentarily contemplates texting Crystal, if not for any reason other than a warning that she was back in town. As the taxi pulls up to the imposing white colonial Gigi was raised in, she lets out a shaky breath, letting the sinking feeling in her stomach settle before paying the cabbie and getting out. Her grubby sneakers scrape along the long path up to her childhood home as she trudges determinedly to get out of the rain and into the house.

-^-^-^-^-

After about an hour of recounting her tour to her mother, Gigi needed a good strong drink. After her mother puttered away to do some work in her office she scours the old bar cart, only finding empty bottles. She cranes her neck to yell up the stairs which her mother disappeared up, "Hey mom? When did you guys last go to the liquor store?”.

“Oh, maybe Christmas?” Her mother replies, clearly busy with something. Gigi sighs and resigns herself to the fact that she is going to have to go to the store. She slips her shoes back on, grabs her hoodie and the keys to her mom’s car from the foyer.

“Hey mom, I’m going to the store, you need anything?” She waits a beat and takes the following silence as a negatory and goes out to the car, the familiar drive a comfort of sorts.

As Gigi enters the small local grocery store, she gets a notification, pulling out her phone to check it. Almost as soon as the device is in her hand, she runs into someone, someone in a terribly familiar brightly coloured sweater. She looks up to see the face of the person she has been imagining across the world for the last eight years and breathlessly mutters, “Crystal.”

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jaida essence hall #adore delano #crygi #light angst #lesbian au #musician au #you're a mess #bell #concrit welcome #s12

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whitecatindisguise · 4 years

Text

The Sundrop Alchemist (6)

Ooookay. I’m terribly sorry it took me so long to update, but life’s been kinda hard lately and I had more pressing matters than writing and posting stories. Anyway, I’m finally back with another chapter and, to compensate, this one is longer than usual.

Enjoy~

Summary: Hugo gets a brilliant idea of scaring Varian by taking the boy to a place crowded with ruffians and thugs. What he didn't take into consideration was the boy's determination... and some other, more surprising events.

Warning: swearing

AO3 link is here

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Chapter 6: Of Thugs And Ruffians

Varian with curiosity, and a little bit of scepticism, trailed after Hugo through the woods. The older teenager seemed to know where he was going and going in random direction at the same time. The blue-eyed boy’s stomach rumbled again and he looked up at his guide.

“How much further?” He asked, trying to spot anything between the trees and high bushes in front of them but to no avail.

“Almost there, Blondie.” Hugo replied, earning an angry huff from the boy. His nose picked out a familiar smell and he grinned. “This way.” He said, pulling away the high bushes.

There, in the middle of the forest, stood a building. Varian scrunched his nose at the state it was in. The planks were old, some of them falling away and creating holes in the walls. Windows were smudged, some of the glass broken, as if someone threw a boulder at them. All in all, the building seemed to be past its grand days.

Hugo must have seen Varian’s face, because he quickly added.

“Looks worse than it is, Goggles. Trust me, you’ll love it.” And before the boy could argue, he grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door.

Varian managed to catch a glimpse of the sign hanging overhead, the paint falling off but the picture of a small yellow bird and words “S_UG_LY DUC_LI_G” still visible.

“Snuggly Duckling?” He questioned, managing somehow to decipher the name of the place. Hugo grinned and pushed the door open with one strong movement.

“A table for two!” The older blonde called out into the room. Varian looked inside and froze, along with the occupants of the place.

His eyes widened, body stiffening in shock, as he took notice of the people sitting by the tables. His body trembled at the sight of bulky figures in leather and fur clothes, horny helmets on their heads, pointy teeth visible in their angry snarls and eyes filled with rage.

Hugo didn’t seem to notice the boy’s discomfort, as he pushed him further inside, a smile plastered to his face.

“Smell that, Sweetcheeks? That’s the smell of the real world.” He rambled as they traversed deeper into the room. Varian reached for his frying pan, holding it in his trembling hands, and pointing at the men surrounding them, Ruddiger hissing from his place on the boy’s shoulders. “Take a deep breath in. Feel it with your whole body.”

Varian felt a pull on his hair and noticed one of the thugs picking a lock, staring at it dumbly.

“That’s a lot of hair.” The man commented and Varian yelped, pulling his hair closer to himself.

“What’s wrong, Blondie? The outside world is too much for you?” Hugo asked, a grin on his face. If Varian wouldn’t be so terrified right now, he would smack the teen right there. Of course he knew what kind of place it was. He was playing him the whole time! Hugo started to back down towards the exit. “Well, in that case I’ll just take you back, you give my satchel back and we’re-”

He was cut off by the door slamming and he turned, noticing one of the thugs holding his large hand on the door, holding a paper.

“Is that you?” The man grumbled.

Hugo pushed his glasses further up his nose and moved the man’s finger slightly, to uncover the wanted poster. Varian stared at the paper in shock. It depicted Hugo with a smug expression and the most hilarious pair of glasses he could think of. Instead of the teen’s circular frames, the author of the poster gave him heart-shaped glasses. Underneath the picture there were words “Hugo The Human. Thief.”, and the price for bringing him up to justice. If he wasn’t terrified by all of the thugs and ruffians, he would have probably laughed.

“Now that’s just mean.” Hugo huffed, pointing at his glasses and then to the ones at the poster. “Do these look any similar to those?”

“Oh, it’s him, alright.” Another man commented and came closer, Hugo somehow dodging under the man’s grasp and running to the centre of the room.

“Greno, go get the guards!” The first man called and the one called Greno sped off through the door.

“Guys, seriously. The guards?” Hugo asked, backing away but soon noticing he was surrounded. “Come on. Would you really hand over one of you?”

“You are not one of us.” The thugs growled and jumped at the teen.

Varian stared in shock as Hugo tried to escape the grabs, but it was proving extremely difficult with so many enemies. For a moment he entertained a thought of running away while they were busy, but he had no idea where to go, not remembering the way back to the tower, nor knowing his way to Old Corona. He needed Hugo.

Coming to the decision, he quickly grabbed a lock of his hair and threw it, securing it on one of the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, but one away from the fight. With a grunt he pulled hard and the wooden structure gave a creak and fell down, shattering to pieces. The noise was enough to startle everyone, the men freezing mid-tying struggling Hugo.

“ENOUGH!” Varian shouted, eyes burning with anger. “I-I have no idea what Hugo did to earn that wanted poster, but I need him to be my guide and he’s coming WITH ME!”

“Oh, and why would we let him go just because you said so, kid?” One of the ruffians turned to him, a malicious grin appearing on his face. “How is something so small and fragile going to stop us?”

“I…” Varian faltered and backed off, the large man towering over him. Ruddiger chittered from his shoulder and the boy took a deep breath, before looking up at the man. “Look, tomorrow in Old Corona they are having this celebration with alchemical lanterns and I want to see it. But, I don’t know the way and Hugo offered to take me there. Please, it’s been my dream for as long as I remember. Haven’t any of you ever had a dream?”

He looked around pleadingly. Hugo stared at the boy in shock. Was the kid really so dumb as to think the talk about dreams would get them out of this situation?

The ruffian from before strolled closer to the blue-eyed boy, his hook-hand moving threateningly towards his face. Varian froze. Then, as the man was mere inches from his face, he looked away with a distant look in his eyes.

“I.. had a dream once.” The man said and Varian blinked.

“W-What was it?” He asked, voice trembling. The man stared back at him and, for a moment, Varian thought he said something wrong.

“I always wanted to become a pianist and travel the world, giving concerts in all Seven Kingdoms.” The man replied and Varian blinked again. “But what good is a pianist with only one hand?” He pointed at his hook.

“H-Have you tried to play, even with your… predicament?” The boy asked and this time the man blinked.

“I… haven’t thought of that.” He said and rubbed his chin with a hook. He eyed the piano standing at the back of the room and then looked back at the boy. “You think it could work?”

“Doesn’t hurt to try.” Varian replied with an honest smile.

The man slowly approached the piano and sat down, staring down at the keys. He looked up at Varian, and the boy gave him an encouraging nod. The man raised his hands and slammed them on the keys. The fingers of his right hand dancing on the keys, his hook doing no worse. The music filled the room, everyone quickly catching the tune and starting to dance. The performance ended and the man received a round of applause. He turned to Varian, a genuine smile on his face.

“Thank you. I never thought I could do it. Now I can achieve my dream.” He said and Varian smiled back.

“No problem. I’m Varian, by the way.” He reached out his hand to the man and he shook it gingerly.

“The name’s Hook Hand.” He replied and Varian giggled at how fitting it was.

“I have a dream too!” Another man spoke. He was a tall man with a really big nose. “Name’s Big Nose, by the way.” He added and Varian snorted into his hand.

“What is your dream, Big Nose?” He urged and the said man gave a deep sigh.

“Well… my appearance isn’t something people like to set their eyes on.” He started and the thugs nodded. “But I would really love to find a girl for myself. Someone who would love me and who I could love back. We could go on romantic boat trips, and picnics, and walks by the moonlight…” He sighed lovingly and looked at Varian. “You think that’s possible?”

“Well… I can’t say for certain, but I feel somewhere out there is a girl who will see you for who you are, not for how you look like.” He smiled honestly.

“You really think so?” Big Nose asked and the boy nodded. The man smiled widely and shook the boy’s hand gingerly. “Thank you so much! That means a lot to me!”

Suddenly, all of the thugs started to shout out their dreams, all seemingly wanting Varian to confirm their dreams are possible. He encouraged Toll to become a florist after seeing his beautiful flower composition. He awed at Gunter’s interior design ideas. He applauded Ulf’s mime performance, swooned over Attila’s cupcakes, admired Bruiser’s knitting and Killer’s sewing skills. He laughed at Ven’s puppet show.

“You guys have such amazing talents and dreams worth fighting for.” Varian commented after Vladimir showed him his ceramic unicorn’s collection and broasted about a particular figurine that was one-of-a-kind and took him almost four months to paint.

“Great dreams, wohoo. Can we go now?” A voice cut in from the back of the room and the group turned around to see a very bored-looking Hugo. Varian’s cheeks turned red. With all of the thugs dreams and performances he forgot about the teen being there.

“Say, what is your dream?” Varian asked and the teen froze just for a second. He then huffed and turned his face away.

“Not your business.” He muttered. Varian frowned.

“Come on, Hugo. We all shared our dreams.” The boy urged but Hugo wasn’t budging.

Just then, all of the thugs circled Hugo, pointing their weapons at the teen.

“He asked. what. is. your. dream.” Hookhand snarled and Varian panicked. Were they back at the square one? Why couldn’t they go five minutes without threatening anyone?

“Fine. You want to hear my dream?” Hugo huffed in annoyance and turned to face them directly. “My dream is to earn enough money so I can leave this kingdom once and for all, buy some posh house in the middle of some very posh town and lazy out for whole day, not needing to wonder how will I survive the next day!” He shouted out on one breath. “I would have so much food I can’t even eat alone, a bed with my name on it and I wouldn’t give a shit about what’s going outside my house, because I DON’T CARE!”

A silence that followed was deafening. Varian stared at the teen in shock. He was sure something was wrong. Mere talking about dreams wouldn’t anger anyone so much. He was sure that wasn’t Hugo’s real dream, but he wouldn’t push. Not now, at least.

He wanted to say something to lighten the mood, when the door to the pub opened harshly and the man from before, Greno, if Varian remembered correctly, stood at the door frame.

“I’ve found the guards!” He called happily. The pub immediately erupted into chaos.

Hugo jumped and grabbed Varian’s hand, pulling him along to hide behind the counter. Varian was trembling, not knowing what to do. If the guards were there, they would arrest Hugo and he would be completely lost. He would never see the alchemical lanterns. Heck, he wasn’t even sure he could go back to the tower by himself, at that point.

A quiet whistle gained his attention and he noticed Hookhand motioning for them to follow. The man pulled on the hidden lever and part of the counter opened, revealing a tunnel.

“This will lead you safely away from here.” Hookhand whispered, motioning for them to go inside. “Go, live your dream.”

“Thank you, I will.” Hugo replied and Hookhand shot him an angry glare.

“Your dream sucks, I was talking to him.” The man pointed his head at Varian and the boy giggled at Hugo’s hurt expression.

“Thank you.” Varian hugged Hookhand.

“Don’t get caught, Varian.” The man replied.

Varian nodded and slipped inside the tunnel, following Hugo into the darkness. The hidden door closed behind them

#varian #hugo #the sundrop alchemist #snuggly duckling thugs #I have a dream #narrating songs is a pain #no Hugo Smack Count this time #the boi gets away this time

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kendrixtermina · 4 years

Text

The Team Dynamics of the Three Houses

Essay time! =D

Part One: Team Makeup and Thematic Framework Blue Lions

Overarching Theme: Classic basic fantasy archetypes but with a dark twist (We have Prince Charming/ Guilt-ridden softboy standard-issue JRPG protagonist, Handsome Lech/Idiot Friend, Standoffish Rival, Gentleman Thief, Lady Knight, Sweet nice healer, Adorable spellcaster Girl, the Gentle Giant etc. )

Composition: Has the most people with crests, and the one guy with a naturally occurring major crest. Foreshadows how the crest obsession is particularly bad here, due to Faerghus’ harsh environment and a society that’s both religious and has a serious element of hero worship

History: Notably the most tight-knit group. Everyone knows each other already. It’s basically Dimitri, Dimitri’s longtime best friends, the daughter of Dimitri’s former instructor who heard lots of stories about him and her super nice BFF who gets along with everyone... and Ashe, who didn’t know the others until the academy, but since he is a honest sweety who loves cooking and knight stories, he hits it off with the others right away.

Atmosphere: Everyone has kind of the same hobbies (cooking, handicrafts, weapons collecting, knight stuff) and a lot of history, some posters have remarked on missing the “family ambiente” in the other routes but since the bonds are stronger they’re also more charged, it’s also been said that it’s the group with the most inter-team drama, especially when you feature in their relatives - You have Dimitri’s whole character arc, all the family drama between the Fraldariuses and the Dominics, Ingrid’s hangups regarding poor Dedue etc.

As expected if you recruit any of them they’ll kinda have a hard time going after their old home, even the tsundere ones.

The Leader’s position: For all that Dimitri’s friends refuse to drop his honorifics they really are his friends. They’re just all kinda polite with the obvious exception of Felix, and he’s largely tsundere. Despite the afore mentioned drama we see plenty of Dimitri just hanging out with his friends and even coming to them for help, he’s really just one of the bunch .

Since Faerghus is in chaos everyone’s pinning a lot of hopes on Dimitri and it’s not like he’s completely unaware of that or doesn’t have the corresponding sense of duty, he’s always torn between that and his revenge plan which eventually just takes over. He pursues this entirely on his own, too, with not even Dedue knowing what he’s sneaking around the library for.

How this “flavors” part one: Gives it a very “personal” touch. Faerghus, it’s culture, recent past and current state of chaos are fleshed out a lot (we learn plenty about the Alliance and the Empire but Claude and Edelgard have greater scope plans) and since a lot of the part I missions concern the instabilities in the kingdom they affect the characters directly. Basically since they’re more “regular” fantasy protagonists we gotta hit em all with the Drama hammer to keep things fresh. And that’s how it continues - They follow Dimitri because of personal loyalty (both toward him specifically, and because it’s in their culture), and Dimitri just wants to protect (or avenge) the people he cares about.

How this Ties into The Themes: The Kingdom route eventually becomes very much a Power of Friendship story where they all stick it out with Dimitri in his time of need because he’s their friend and they want to be there for him and that makes a lot more sense if there was a big emphasis on friendship/ found family before that, and of course their friendship is what eventually helps him turn his life around.

How does Byleth fit into this: Dimitri, like Hubert and Leonie, can be filed into the box of those who aren’t immediately awed by their heroic charisma. He doesn’t really get people who aren’t as outwardly expressive as him (eg. Edelgard) But unlike, say, Leonie, Dimitri has no settings between crushkilldestroy and stilted politeness and seldom expresses or responds to overt hostility most of the time. On the one hand there’s a side to him that’s a bit judgemental and vindictive, but that extends to himself too so he’s very ashamed of his flaws and is afraid that he won’t be accepted, so he projects outward that same acceptance that he likes to receive.

So the end result is that he goes out of his way to befriend Byleth, he encourages everyone to speak with them in a familiar manner, insists that they join the victory celebrations etc. Then of course he gets to see that they’re actually quite supportive and so in time they become, as Dimitri puts it “the heart of the group”.

By the time they find out that Dimitri ever disliked them, that’s long past. He’s a very high-empathy, emotional person so once he likes you he really likes you and will regard your troubles like his own. Some ppl might say that maybe the bond feels more special since it took longer to “earn”. He’s practically ready to swear a blood oath with them once Jeralt dies. There’s an unappreciated Symmetry here like he goes through the trouble to ‘defrost’ them, and then they return the favor by supporting him through his difficult times when they perhaps get to see the ugliest side of him.

Further Dynamic Notes:

So you have a dynamic of working past/ understanding and accepting each other despite one’s flaws and differences. (whereas Claude and Edelgard are interested in Byleth right away, because they’re unusual, but in slightly different ways - Claude can kinda relate to the experience of sticking out itself but is still stumped by being unable to read them, whereas Edelgard sticks out in the same way so you’re actually on the same wavelenght to begin with)

“opposites attract” specifically in the way that they balance each other out. A cool steadfast leader type certainly has a grounding effect on Dimitri as a very reactive person, but he also pulls them into the ‘normal’ world a bit after they spend all this time just wandering the world like all places are the same to them. They basically put the magic destiny on the backburner to help him out. They still become archbishop and all to fit the standard fantasy look of it all but not like full messiah like on the church route

Even after the timeskip Byleth kinda plays the mentor role or at least that of the dominant person/ big spoon in the relationship (though Dimitri ends up waaay taler than them especially fem Byleth), “Excuse me this is my emotional support mercenary”

If you go the platonic route you very much stay at „mentor“, Byleth is basically the brains of the operation post timeskip ‘cause the old Mitya can‘t come to the phone right now and Gilbert and Rodrigue would follow him off a cliff

Plot wise, their contribution is to stop the revenge trip when it gets to be a too obvious kamikaze stunt, which they, as a relative outsider to Faerghus and experienced, pragmatic fighter, would do when someone like Gilbert would not

Character journey wise, they refuse to give up on Dimitri and still see the good in him so that he eventually comes to a point where he could envision his own redemption/ come to accept/forgive himself and learn that its okay to move on and live his own life

Byleth can be said to somewhat even out the flaws in everyone‘s leadership styles (while the house leaders help Byleth find their own direction – i didnt come up with this alone there was a brilliant post a while ago that i cant find rn) – In Dimitri‘s case, he has authority/credibility/integrity („Pathos“), being the rightful king with many loyal followers, and emotional/ personal leadership as an emphatetic person who inspired respect for his character („Ethos“) but is lacking in plans („Logos“)

Golden Deer

Overarching Theme: Ragtag Bunch of misfits /Unlikely Heroes (let’s see, we have trickster turned lying politician, upper-class twit turned opportunistic conservative, lazy rich girl, shy glasses boy and his best friend dumb muscle, cursed werewolf girl, stuckup teen genius and the mean money obsessed one )

Composition: Has the most honest-to-goodness commoners - and they largely got in on their own merits, too, while almost all the others had connections. You have a few peeps from the Alliance’s prominent merchant class and one completely ordinary village person whose father was a simple hunter.

History: Bar the two merchant kids none of them know each other and even they’ve been a little estranged since the demise of Rafael’s parents. There are a few backstory connections (Such as Lorenz’ dad basically having murdered everybody’s dead relatives, or Leonie’s village being in his territory) but they’re largely indirect. They come from a range of different backgrounds and life experiences. Even Claude just showed up the year before and doesn’t know anybody. Of course this is all so you can watch them grow into a team on-screen all leading up to Claude’s epic speech about how they got along despite being from different backgrounds (or be surprised if they show up as one post-timeskip)

Unlike Dedue or Hubert, Hilda can still be napped early on because she doesn’t really become Claude’s right-hand person until halfway through part oneIf you recruit any of the deer they’ll say that they didn’t have that much ties to their homeland anyways.

Atmosphere: These are definitely Garreg Magh’s party animals. Or like a bunch of theatre kids. They’re tremendous fun. “Less complicated” as Claude puts it though some have missed the intensity/drama of the other bunches. The Alliance itself might be full of political intrigues but this younger generation is fairly chill with the important exceptions that are Leonie and Lysithea but Leonie’s lack of chill is largely Byleth-specific, she’s plenty chill in her other supports, and though Lysithea probably donated all the extra chill for the other deer and hence doesn’t have any left, the others love her anyways wether she wants to or not because try as she might she can’t really get an argument out of them.

This certainly jives well with Claude’s “friendly surface level extrovert” gimmick they all get along on a surface level and you’ll be hard-pressed to find an ounce of social skills in the Black Eagle house, and the Lions have the Drama Moments, but some have also perceived the deer as not quite as open.

At the same time they’re not superficial. We have a large abundance of Artsy Ones, we have Ignatz, Claude and Lorenz both write poetry, Leonie isn’t good at it but she does draw etc There’s enough insightful ones for depht and insight to be a significant undercurrent in the group dynamics. They all have different sortts of insight - Hilda can read people well, Ignatz has this sort of intuuitive thoughtful understanding, Lysithea is observant and logically astute, Leonie has street smarts etc.

The Leader’s position: Precarious. No one knows him, no one trusts him. He just showed up one day, very suspicious timing, not long after his uncle dropped dead (that was Lorenz’ dad but it’s not like anyone knows) and then he’s a shifty weirdo who cannot help being slightly unnerving despite his friendly extroverted demeanor.

Still he’s a big believer in teamwork, appreciates the value in everyone’s perspective and he can do the friendly extroverted charm well enough to eventually win over most people based on that, though its not until waay after the timeskip that he even considers letting anyone past the soft outer layer. (In Recruited, Raphael remembers him mainly a lover of feats and merriment)

The longer the story goes on the more the Deer transition to being “Claude’s jolly detective bureau” in which he pulls on all their individual insight for maximum info collection.

How this “flavors” part one: It’s taken up largely by Claude’s search for information with the various events being seen in that light.

Claude’s first reaction is often to ask questions and be curious with the emotional response hitting him somewhat later, though it’s definitely also that he keeps up a cheerful face for the team.

Ironically he’s the only one who came to Garreg Magh for it’s intended purpose: To get a ruler’s education and do networking. Dimitri and Edelgard were already onto Thales courtesy of his having killed their families, him searching on his own, her making preparations for her takeover, and Claude doesn’t know - it’s probably a game balance thing because Claude is the smartest person in the game and if he started out with all the info there would be no plot.

How this Ties into The Themes: It all builds towards Claude’s big speech about people from different backgrounds coming together. It’s like a microcosm for what he wants to do with the world, to bring people from different places and backgrounds together and have them understand each other.

Lorenz takes until halfway through part II to come around, but come around he does. (markedly, this happens only on Claude’s route, otherwise he sticks with the empire out of self-preservation and opportunism, though he gladly jumps ship to join the kingdom. )

How does Byleth fit into this: Now I‘ve seen some people saying that Claude initially didn‘t like Byleth or just wanted to use them, but I don‘t think that‘s true. I do think he actually liked them, found them interesting and wanted to befriend them. But Claude, on principle, doesn‘t trust easily, and will in any interaction look at how he can use it.

It‘s a habit born out of both natural curiosity and intelligence (What the 12type eneagramm calls a „Mercury“ Personality type) and the need to survive in a hostile environment where people tried to kill him as a child, and as such it‘s automatic second nature. He has a strong overruling self-preservation instinct. Claude is suspicious and will interogate people completely independent of how much he likes them. No amount of like makes him trust implicitly.

He doesn‘t have a bad impression like Dimitri, but he doesn‘t immediately click like Edelgard and the curve is pretty nonlinear: With Dimitri we have a clear progression from dislike to like and then the reversal where Dimitri had defrosted Byleth and now Byleth must defrost Dimitri. With Edelgard she likes them immediately out of similarity (like Felix likes Byleth, or like Edelgard likes Lysithea and Petra), and the difficulty/drama only comes later when Byleth‘s connection to the church and Edelgard‘s plots become apparent, but mostly she‘s sad that she‘s „destined“ to be enemies with this person she likes, her level of like never goes down. Claude meanwhile – you might compare him with Dorothea. He‘s used to being able to charm people as well as read them, and Byleth is not only a brick wall, but remains one upon closer examination. They really don‘t know about their past – but Claude takes that as evasions and becomes more and more suspicious.

A big turning point here is the Jeralt situation, where Byleth finally opens up and tells him everything, and Claude realizes they‘re not hiding. And that‘s something I really love about their dynamic – Byleth tells him all and Claude is so interested in them and looks out for them.

Though you could assign each of the three a „turning point“ after which they open up - The diary for Claude (which shows him that Byleth really isn‘t hiding anything) Flayn‘s dissapearance for Dimitri (which convinces him that Byleth cares) and the holy tomb scene for Edelgard (which shows her that Byleth won‘t betray her)

Further Dynamic Notes:

Claude and Byleth relate because they both stick out, but it‘s notably about the experience of sticking out in and of itself, whereas in Edelgard‘s case they stick out in the same way. They’re also alike in that they only found out some secrets about themselves when they were already young adults, Byleth’s magical destiny, and Claude finding out he was related to the ruling house. From how he mentions “not being raised in the lap of luxury” and how his royal connections in Almyra are also “distant”, he might in fact have been raised in a normal village and not known he was the king’s bastard son for some time, though once the secret was out he definitely got some princely instruction like training with Nader.

The dynamic both interpersonally and as an action duo is very much a complementary one. Dimitri is very different and has that sorta morality chain dynamic going on. And though they each have their specialties that the other is lowkey jelly of Edelgard and Byleth actually fill a fairly similar niche as the charismatic superhumanly powerful field commander. Meanwhile with Claude there’s a division of labor: Claude’s the planner and Byleth’s the enforcer. He repeatedly observes that his plans would be way less effective without someone of Byleth’s caliber to carry them out.

Out of the three lords Claude is the only one where you get the sense that Byleth works for Claude post-timeskip or that Byleth becomes his subordinate. Dimitri’s lost without them, and while Edelgard offers them a formal position as royal advisor after the mock battle and gets this line about how they can’t yell orders at her in public now that she’s the emperor, but it’s phrased in such a way to suggest that she just wants them to yell orders at her discreetly. They certainly balance out Claude’s presentability/trustworthyness problem the way that Hubert quickly puts them in charge of morale to patch Edelgard’s PR shortcomings, but Hubert pretty much says this to Byleth’s face whereas Claude is the only one who knows where the ship is going for the majority of verdant wind. And in the end he’s like “Babysit fodlan for me while I finish world peace” He’s also the dominant one on an interpersonal level, he gives Byleth this speech about how they should use their position more confidently and promise to detective out their mysterious past for them. He also tries dropping hints that maybe Rhea’s not to be trusted though Byleth’s dialogue options are written to suggest that they bought her maternal act and want her back – some ppl said but this way really expositions that „well meaning deception“ aspect of Claude‘s character. He frequently steers ppl toward something they don‘t want but with the hope that they‘ll want it eventually. Perhaps he could be said to have a very fluid/dynamic view of things and people; The other two lords view them more as fixed, hence „I respectfully disagree… lets settle this by stabbing each other“

The platonic end result is your basic Epic Friendship, tell each other everything, very supportive, look out for each other, take down a zombie warrior together in an epic team attack, what more could you want I think I‘ve made a whole post about what a good friendo Claude is, initial ulterior motives nonwithstanding… He certainly had strategic advantages in the back of his mind but I don‘t think he ever faked liking Byleth

Plot wise, having The Messiah on his team gives Claude a bargaining chip to seize control of the church with its greater influence. On the other routes, he wisely refuses to touch that particular hot potato with a ten foot pole.

Character wise Byleth‘s influence largely serves to mitigate his jaded cynism. He starts to actually believe his far-flung dreams might happen, so he plays far less defensively than on the other routes.

Claude is smart and charismatic („Logos“ and „Ethos“), his main problem is that nobody trusts him. This is a bit more dimensional than just a flaw though, because he hides his real goals (though they are not truly sinister) both to avoid fights with people who would oppose these goals (contrast Edelgard who declares her intentions openly and deals with the fallout, so she has to fight the knights whereas claude manipulates them) and get the chance to gradually convince them and reveal the truth once ppl agree, also he‘s more a tactician than a strategist and often changes his plans in accordance with what he thinks is doable under the circumstances, and not telling what his plans are gives him the freedom to do that – either way, a downside of that is that no one trusts him. He lacks credibility and, having shown up out of nowhere, has less loyalty and support. Byleth, as a chrch-sanctioned charismatic figurehead, naturally mitigates that.

Black Eagles

Overarching Theme: Subverted Villain tropes. We have Emperor Evulz / mad science supersoldier, Black Mage classic, Seditious Chancellor Junior, Sexy Mage, Eccentric Scholar, Pretty Barbarian, Fighting Obsessed Blood Knight and Antisocial Sniper

Composition: It‘s nobles all the way down, even the one commoner used to be famous and is from the capital where all the wealthy ppl live (as opposed to the decentralied alliance and the very spartan kingdom nobles) – The capital‘s a heaven for culture and sophistication but you also see the evident elitism/corruption/inequality problem going on. In keeping with Adrestia being more secular, Ferdinand‘s the only one who‘s explicitly stated to be a believer (in the Marianne support) and he‘s not even super devout

One should also appreciate the irony that the side with the ‚saintly‘ crests is now against the church whereas Faerghus, ruled by the descendants of Nemesis‘ former allies and where he used to have his stronghold are now fighting for the church. But should you go with the church route it also makes a kind of sense as they‘d be goig back to the empire‘s distant origins in a sense.

History: They all vaguely know/ have heard of each other due to their parents being co-workers or living in the same town, many have at least met each other but at the same time they‘re not BFF like the Lions and many take a bit to warm up to each other.

Another thing of note is that while many of the Lions‘ families were also friends and have been associates since the days of Nemesis, many of the backstory connections for the adrestian studenrs would seem to predispose them to being foes rather than friends, half their dads‘ essentially dethroned Edelgard‘s and are various degrees of complicit in what happened to her siblings, Petra was basically taken hostage by the previous administration, Dorothea has good reason to have beef with the local rich people etc

Atmosphere: I‘ve seen some ppl who played the other routes first say things like how they were struck by how individualistic they are and how there‘s far less team cohesion, or how they „all seem to hate each other“ - I don‘t think that‘s correct assesment but they definitely are quirky, independent-minded or both. They scamper off in all directions when introduced and definitely don‘t bother with formal politeness or friendly facades, if they‘re annoyed with you most of them will probably say so. Even Bernie gives Ferdinand a lecture once XD They‘re basically goth. Though I do think it‘s sorely underappreciated that there definitely IS friendship and admiration between them esp. later in the story, admiration & appreciation being key factors especially since they‘re none too easily impressed.

Of course being independent minded makes it likely that they wouldn‘t blindly follow a leader who‘s up to no good, but it would make them just as suitable to participate in a rebellion

Another thing of note is that while the Kingdom nobles all learned to hold sharp objects in the nusery and many of the deer have street smarts or survival experience having had to live through tough circumstances most of the Eagles are complete greenhorns when you first deploy them – sure many have seen their share of effed up stuff but not in a warlike setting. And you have many of the sensitive/reluctant ones like Bernie, Linny and Dorothea. This of course could either make you think twice about the church sending them on missions or predispose you toward Flayns brand of pacifism.

Of course this just leads to Hubert and Edelgard (and to a lesser extent Petra) to clearly stand out as the experienced ones. El-chan and Hubie dear have most definitely killed a man before. The rest of them will definitely have to measure up to pick up the slack after the two of them leave.

The trajectory certainly goes differently, in CF they all return notably more confident after the timeskip (most notably with Bernie) perhaps in keeping with how Edelgard believes in & promotes self-reliance whereas in Silver Snow they never quite stop being like „AAAAA“ though I suppose the point is that they get their act together and do the deed regardless.

The Leader’s position: Absolute both in terms of power (sorry Ferdie) and dynamics. Definite ‚student council president‘ vibe, she largely interacts with them as a taskmaster/ to make them do their homework. She markedly doesn‘t like this and would like to be one of the bunch but genuinely finds it hard to step out of boss mode.

She does try her best to cultivate an equal atmosphere and for what it‘s worth most do drop the honorifics and tell her when they disagree.

How this “flavors” part one: The emphasis is certainly on expositioning how much everything in the setting sucks especially on the church‘s horribleness, I mean in the end if she‘s essentially like „We‘ve all seen it this past year“ but of course there‘s also definite foreshadowing that sHE is up to something, there‘s certainly peeps who picked her ‚cause she‘s pretty and she looked more put-together/less obviously dodgy than the others but then didn‘t personal taste wise jive with her character. The whole scene after Jeralt‘s death is definitely a point where you either decide you hate her or love her forever; You get both „WTF“ and „I get it“ type of dialogue options.

How this Ties into The Themes:

No matter what route yo pick you essentially get a story about going your own way and putting right what the previous generations done fucked up – wether they do this by leading Adrestia back to its holy origins, or by backing Edelgard‘s revolution.

On a political level they either go against their homeland or the previous administration, and personally they‘re all sorta expected to take over their parents‘s job and follow these expectations of proper nobility that they have no interest in and many of them renounce their titles or cut ties with their folks. Only Ferdinand particularly wants his fathers job and even them he means to do it very differently. The happy ending, for most of the eagles, is getting to choose their own paths

How does Byleth fit into this:

Mostly, they shift the team dynamics from Edelgard as the absolute leader in a lofty, distanced position to her coming closer to being „one of the group“ working under Byleth.

There‘s a reason she later names her elite troop the „Black Eagle Strike force“ in honor of their time at the academy. This is almost the bigger difference, because Byleth isn‘t there for the timeskip. The big change is caused by creating this situation where all the black eagles leave with Edelgard, so she knows she can trust them and having real allies needs the slithers less.

It‘s very hard for her to step out of boss mode for reasons ranging from her personality, backstory, monarch obligations and fear of vulnerability, but having Byleth be the boss for once helps. Some of her most formative experiences were a) Her family betrayed by almost all its allies including her own uncle b) being helplessly dragged around as a hostage. She wants to avoid being helpless ever again at all costs and thus grew to be a very proactive decisive adult which is mostly a good thing but can cause her tome come off blunt and unyielding at times. I mean when she‘s worried that Hubert, her best friend, is hiding some worrysome secret from her she‘s like „Tell me that‘s an order!“ and when he expertly sidesteps that (since he knows her well and understands that she wouldn‘t actually force it out of him) she‘s stumped and doesn‘t know how to tell him that she‘s worried about him – and this is a guy she knows since forever. With the other eagles she really looks out for them but can only really show it through her „leader“ persona, she has this one trick, and when it doesn‘t work (like with Caspar or Linhardt who don‘t really want anyone to boss them around or talk politics) she‘s stumped.

This is hugely mitigated when another person of her caliber shows up with whom she can share the responsibility or even leave it to them so she learns to allow herself to be soft and do stuff like admit her doubts, this starts with Byleth but also radiates into the other relationships. See Caspar and Linhard revising their bad first impressions of her later in the support chains

Further dynamics notes:

A recurring theme is being misunderstood (outright stated in the introduction and that one quote by ladislava – and also in the church route dialogues where Seteth says that „the people will never understand her ideals“ ) and finding someone who understands, which is different from Claude and Dimitri who ultimately want the world at large to understand and accept them. Edelgard has given up on that long ago - her version of the „pep talk“ scene implies she thinks its impossible to truly understand anothers sorrow – I like to think that after her siblings died she found great comfort in Hubert being „not much for condolences“ and talking plans rather than sympathies while everyone else was showing pity for something they couldnt understand. Dimitri is basically traumatized (he relates to Dedue about losing everything and thats why they‘re so tight knit), Claude is basically an outcast and relates to all that dont quite fit in, but Edelgard… yes her family‘s dead much like Dimitri‘s, but in addition to that, she has been through an indescribable science fiction fantasy thing that no one has any context for. She views herself as so altered that she considers herself a whole different person and her past self basically dead. Hence someone like Byleth or Lysithea who could relate to all that is very, very tempting to her – we‘re not told if that‘s the truth or just her perception though, Hubert doesn‘t note her being extremly different, and later on she kinda admids that she herself distanced herself from other people.

Likewise the ship dynamic is ‚birds of a feather‘. Edelgard tells you right away: She feels that she and Byleth are similar and is drawn to them because of that. It‘s not just the mad science background, both are stoic natural leaders with a bit of a dorky side. This goes both ways – While others are often mildly stumped by Byleth, she can read them pretty well and gets a lot of dialoue like „wow you‘re telling the truth“ or „I can tell you‘re lying“ - that happens so often that it‘s even used to hint that she‘s the flame emperor.

If you had to name a dominant person it would probably be Byleth but overall this combination is disntinguished by being relatively equal and balanced. She likes having Byleth‘s support but repeatedly mentions wanting to support Byleth as well - As she says after the big mock battle, „sometimes its better to have someone to rely on to support each other through the darkness“. Team dynamics wise they feel a similar niche – the abnormally powerful, stoic charismatic leader who inspires many followers and is a gifted field commander. When they‘re not allies they are foils after all. But as pointed out in their A support despite their similarities each of them have their own particular strenghts that the other envies – Byleth is a better tactician and ultimately better at moral support (though their time powers help). On the flipside, Edelgard is more proactive whereas Byleth struggles with that, and at least her 22 year old self probably has more raw strenght (judging by her stats total and how they‘re evenly matched in the church route reunion cinematic though she isn‘t using her preferred weapon)

If you don‘t marry her then the note the A support ends on would suggest that Byleth sorta gets adopted as a honorary big sister/brother with how El asks them to use her childhood nickname and just lampshading the sense of kinship between them – the platonic outcome is a family bond, which buils as much on similarity and alikeness as their romantic outcome

Plot wise, Byleth‘s presence gives Edelgard something that she wouldn‘t otherwise have: Reliable allies. This means not just Byleth themselves, but the other Black Eagles whom she feels are more firmly on her side as they never defended Garreg Mach from her assault. As she puts it when she tries to recruit you as the „Flame Emperor“, the slighterers will go around causinga strocities but with the sword of the creator on her side she could courttail that better and generally has less need to coorperate even for purely pragmatic reasons so she is free to weaken them ahead of time, kills Cornelia right away rather than work with her etc. Interestingly this is why the front lines are actually further back when Byleth returns than they are in the other routes, but then the war ends the quickest.

Character journey wise, Edelgard goes from being convinced that she has to give up everything to be a tough leader to allowing herself to just be a person, cummulating in the ending where she pulls a washington/cincinatus, abdicates and gets a normal life.

In terms of leadership style, Edelgard has „Logos“ and „Pathos“ to spare, she‘s described as a remarkable leader who inspires remarkable devotion and has a cause/ rationale – but she‘s got her weakness with inspiring loyalty on an interpersonal level. The followers are loyal to the cause – Edelgard herself is perceived as unapproachable and shady/unsavory, see Dimitri‘s rant about how she‘s „strong“, or statements by herself and Ladislava that people tend to misunderstand her. As a superhuman science experiment she is by definition not a „relatable“ leader. So once Byleth proves trustworthy Hubert immediately puts them in charge of morale and of support/pep talking the reluctant recruits.

(In part II we‘ll get into decision making processes but I think here we have to separate by route rather than house since it’s most evident post-timeskip and dependent on plot events.)

Team Dynamics and Decisionmaking

Empire Route

Here, there is a very clear distinction between inner circle and outer circle. Edelgard and Hubert have their own thing going on and once you prove loyal, you’re in, and you get to see a whole different side to both of them, Edelgard lets down her guard, Hubert acts polite and sympathetic where he was previously suspicious and mocking, and they basically tell Byleth everything, including the unsavory pursuits that they keep secret from everyone else – but overall the secrecy, maintained for realpolitik reasons, never truly stops. Basically those three make all the decisions.

Notable is that if you’ve recruited Lysithea she hovers on the threshold between inner and outer circle. She was fed the cover story of the nuke being a church weapon (though she did’t buy it) but WAS told about the secret assault on Arianrhod. This is prolly cause Edelgard likes her, she can become her main advisor in their paired ending.

Kingdom Route

Dimitri describes himself as as someone who thinks change should come from the people and that the leadership should serve them, for all that he prefers to uphold the basic order of society, and this is reflected in his leadership style – though this also reflects that he is a ‚people person‘ rather than a planner, so the plans are left to his advisors like Byleth, Gilbert and Rodrigue. He is more the emotional/ spiritual lynchpin than the mind or will of the group.

In Azure Moon, especially later on, the decisions are really made by the entire group and you see them considering their next step together. Dimitri spills the backstory as soon as it comes up, telling everyone about his relationship with Edelgard for example.

In early part 2 this is at an extreme in that Byleth, Rodrigue and Gilbert are de facto making the decisions and Dimitri is at best a grumpy figurehead that they‘re putting up because they need him as a symbol, but at the same time he doesn‘t really compromise on his revenge obsession and is just dragging the whole team along/ not really reacting to how they are making him the lynchpin for their hopes. (though it is important to note that he didn‘t ask him too either – they decide to follow him out of friendship or loyalty to his house) yet inwardly Dimitri too is blindly following what he believes are his obligations.

A huge turning point is when he returns after the whole rain conversation and Byleth gets to ask him some variety of „What do you want to do“ in which Dimitri makes a step toward both inner and outer self-directedness, but precisely because of that becomes are more complete/better consensus leader.

I also want to stress that Claude and Edelgard LOVE togetherness and cooperation and equality as concepts every bit as much as Dimitri does they want to be one of the team but they find it difficult. And of course Dimitri’s style has its own flaws too

Alliance Route

While the Blue Lions decide everything together and either variation of the Black Eagles setup has an „inner circle“ that makes the decisions, in the Golden Dear that inner circle is basically just Claude.

Even Byleth doesn‘t find out his plans until part two, and it‘s later still till he comes clear with the team (and still doesn‘t reveal all but points to Cyril as a stand-in) Hilda and Lysithea are discernable as preferred right hand people, and Byleth and Marianne as special confidants, but in the end Claude rarely shows his real self and only he knows the plan. If Hilda and Lysithea pick up alot about him and his true self it‘s because of how observant THEY are and how much Hilda is basically a lot like him.

Claude does all the thinking and motivates followers (from Lorenz to the random merchans who support him) by promising them things they want – because even if he can‘t trust peopöle, he can trust their self-interest.

Church Route

Since you are with the church that is ideally a sort of benevolent parental authority under the supposition that people need guidance and that‘s a good thing it is perhaps fitting that though Byleth winds up the nominal leader, this is actually the route where they are more of a follower. They do watch Seteth says, who is doing what he believes is his duty and mission, and we have Flayn as an innocent, pacifistic voice.

They lost their dad, and the Nabateans are a sort of surrogate family. (wether its one that youre born into or marry into, the wiord „family“ is stressed) – they are the „inner circle“ making the decision and the empire kids, ragtag misfits estranged from their homes, follow. On the one hand they‘re going against their home country on the other they have the saint‘s blood and Adrestia USED to be church aligned so it also makes a kind of sense.

Among the Adrestian kids themselves, Ferdinand and Petra get a chance to shine as the ostensible leaders. They are stalward, competent leader-like people in CF too , but there they are more overshadowed by the much more experienced Hubert and Edelgard. - Though when you think about it they are like „pure hero“ versions of them who were never forced to become as cold and pragmatic. Ferdinand, like Hubert, is a nobleman from a storied family who is proud of it but wants to fix its tarnished reputation from his corrupt father. Petra, like Edelgard, is a former political hostage who experienced hardship at a young age and worked her way up all on her own, being very serious and competent despite her young age. I prefer the version where they stay buds rly.

It‘s worth noting that Seteth, ‚Heir of Purpose‘, sees it as their families duty to protect Fodlan and is the only one really doing that – his brothers noped out, and Rhea, uneknowst to him, twisted „protect“ into „rule/subjugate“. One might question who gives him the right to decide things because his mom is magic but on the other hand he really is 100% benevolent and I see no sign that he has any greedy intentions especially in in Silver Snow, all the countries collapse and someone needs to keep order, he doesn‘t understand what the empire‘s doing and why just sees their agression and really is rising to the challenge of upholding peace because something needs to do something about the violence. He had withdrawn to protect his daughter but then in the end he‘s the last one who is really doing what Sothis would have wanted. He looks most like her too having the slightly darker, ‚spikier‘ hair.

Further Thoughts

I’m curious to see how Yuri, the Ashen Wolves, and Cindered Shadows compare/contrast to this and i theyll manage to make the dynamics sufficiently different so that its neither a carbon copy or a blabk mary sue ish superlative.

I mean the other routes are so interesting to dissect because its a tradeof and all have their own flavor so really CS would do better to try to be “different” or, better yet, “complementary” than “better” or “cooler”

#three houses #fire emblem: three houses #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #black eagles #blue lions #golden deer #three houses meta

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nosferatyou · 4 years

Text

Double Indemnity: Ch.1 (Josh Kiszka x Reader)

Summary: After an incident their freshman year they could barely stand to look at each other. Now it’s their senior year and are grouped together for their final project. What could go wrong?

Warnings: Cursing

WC: 2.3k

Authors note: Well. I flipped into Josh’s lane and thought of this sucker and couldn’t get it out of my head. After I heard the story behind the writers of “Double Indemnity” I just had to make this. Heres to me hopefully finishing a series! Enjoy!

Let’s go back to the day when I “met” Josh Kiszka and when I actually met Josh.

It was the summer before my freshman year of college, and at that point, film sets weren’t a stranger to me. But I sure didn’t have the experience that most of the already film majors around me had. I was roped in by my long time friend Jack who I hadn’t spoken to since graduation, but due to the circumstances, he needed as many crew members as possible. He had 2 days to write, shoot, and cut together a short film. I was a PA (production assistant) and was frantically running around helping in any way I could. I was smart enough to stay out of the way and speak up when needed.

I met most of the crew except one, the cinematographer/camera op, who was the busiest on set. The exception being Jack, who was the director. I heard the camera OP was only there because he had the nicest camera, but my mind may have tainted what I heard about him that day.

With only an hour to spare we had finished the film. All of us dehydrated and starving, sleep-deprived too. I was cradling a horrendous migraine from the lack of water and was ready to leave before someone suggested we go to Cookout. Which is arguably the best food at 3 am.

Against my will, I was dragged to the fast-food restaurant with the rest of the crew. At that point, I was barely conscious and sat in the back seat of Jack’s car. The stranger cinematographer who I hadn’t noticed was next to me until he tapped my shoulder. With a concerned look, asked me if I was okay and needed anything. Which was nice of him considering we’d never spoken.

After the short exchange of words, he never seemed to fully leave my side. May it be his glances from across the table with the same concerned look, or him bring me cups of water, which I still don’t remember him getting up for.

After that night it would be months until I see him again.

I didn’t expect him to be in my Post Production class, but I was definitely happy to see him. It was my first day of classes and to see a familiar face was a nice change of pace compared to whirlwind of a day. Though it wasn’t too long after that that my feelings for him changed.

If you’re a film student you’re going to edit a Gunsmoke fight scene, it is basically a right of passage. Anyways I was an experienced editor and of course, was going to cut the fight scene to the beat of an Ennio Morricone song. If we were going to work on a western scene then Ennio was a must.

I was damn proud of my work, I seemed to be one of the best editors in the class, josh being right there with me. We didn’t exchange many words, but we kept each other company by simply sitting next to each other.

Then came the critique day, when everyone watches your video and gives you notes. Usually its never good notes.

After our class watched it everyone had a lot to say, mostly over small slip-ups I didn’t notice, that’s normal. Josh’s video was next and the moment the music played I was livid, he had used the same exact song, even cut it the same way I did. The worst part was that no one had anything bad to say about it, all good comments. I kept it contained, for the most part. I didn’t verbally say anything, but my constant tapping and dirty looks in his direction said otherwise. I don’t think he’d noticed.

I waited until everyone left and simply gave him a piece of my mind. Maybe I snapped at him… either way, it led to us getting into our first screaming match. Josh saying he “didn’t” copy my video and me disagreeing. I honestly don’t remember how it ended, but I do remember us getting kicked out of the building for it.

Anyways that was three years ago, and we still hate each other. Yet here we are still in all the same classes, but the difference is we have silent warfares. Constantly competing with each other, showing each other our higher grades, and besting each other’s videos. I can barely stand to hear him talk anymore, but I do have to say. He knows how to make a good line.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even with the cold chill of the November air prickling my skin and the wind whipping my hair, my mood couldn’t be damped. Maybe “chill” is an understatement. Living in “The City by the Lake” aka Chicago brings on the harshest of winters, and as crazy as it seems, I always weirdly miss it when I go back to Michigan. Sure it has it’s many feet of snow, but Chicago makes the wind weirdly dazzling.

This is my last coffee, I’ll switch to tea. Is something I say every morning when I get up before classes, but here I am again, with an out of place cold brew in hand and a raging caffeine addiction. In hindsight, it is better than my previous vice, cigarettes, but the headaches it brings on is just as bad as missing a cig. My one hand shoved in my pocket and the other is clutching the same cold brew as before. I may have said that I couldn’t be bothered by the weather, but I’m not immune.

As soon as I enter Columbia’s Media Production building everything becomes flush with warmth. Its a bit uncomfortable really. I remove my gloves and quickly checked my phone, affirming that I’m right on time as always. As I stroll through the halls I tune more into the music, enjoying my free time. There is just something about Chet Baker and Chicago that just mixes so well.

Todays a good day though, it marks my one year of quitting cigs. Did I mention that I quit? Because I quit. Anyways my roommate made a big deal out of it, I also figured out the coolest riff, I’m kind of shit at making music out of thin air so it’s a big day.

After taking the long way to my Directing class (Cinema Directing III if you want to get technical) I finally made it to the small class. Most of the class was there, luckily for me my two-year seat partner, Gwen, was already there, waiting where she always does. We met in our Single Cam 1 class and have been inseparable since, well actually Gwen, Cora (the previously mentioned roommate), and I have been inseparable ever since.

I made my way to my usual seat and peeled my overworn leather bomber jacket off, already feeling more comfortable. Slumping back in my chair I lazily grabbed my sketchbook and pencil out of my bag. Its become a kind of habit to draw my professors and classmates every day, something is just so fascinating about their compositions. I got to work on Gwen who was hunched over, focusing on her book in front of her. I got to work and as soon as I finished up on the basic shapes she quickly sat up, focusing on me.

“You ready for the final project?” She questioned, stealing my coffee in the process.

“I’ve been working on a few ideas already, but then again I don’t know the assignment yet. I do know I will be grabbing the usual 4 of you the moment he says “groups.”

“Heres to hoping we can pick- Oh!” She almost spilled my coffee when she interrupted herself.

“I forgot to text you! Happy one year of being ciggy free!” She exclaimed, handing me back the bottle.

I took a swig from the bottle when she gave it back. “Well thank you, darling. I feel like having clean lungs shouldn’t be such an achievement, but I guess here we are.”

“Be proud! Besides gives us a reason to head to Jerry’s.”

“We’d celebrate over anything if it meant going to Jerry’s and getting pissed.” I smirked at her.

“Well. You got me there. Anyways you are right, we will be getting drunk out of our minds tonight. Bless the man who decided to open a bar directly next to your apartment building.” She said, with a playful smile on her lips.

“Bless him indeed.” I laughed.

At that moment I locked eyes with none other than the aforementioned, Josh Kiszka. It’s oddly enough what we do every time we see each other. Which is more often than I think both of us care for. But seeing him roll his eyes every time I glare at him is kind of fun.

I followed him with my eyes as he sat down in his seat, instantly sticking his nose in- wait what is he reading? I focused and realized he was reading the screenplay for Tarantino’s “Reservoir Dogs.” Where the hell did he even get that?

My eyes snapped up to the professor when I realized he started class.

“Alright, I’m just going to jump into this. Today we start on your final projects, and I think it’ll be very fun. A challenge for sure, but fun nonetheless.”

I slipped a sly smile to Gwen, already thinking of the best ideas in my arsenal to use.

“In groups, you all will be recreating a favorite film, but it should max be 20 minutes long. Now that’ll be your job to rewrite and format it so you can fit in the timeframe. Oh, and I swear to god if another person does Pulp Fiction I will actually scream. You can hold me to that.”

Oh Jesus okay this will be hard as hell, I guess something with a simpler plot will be easy. Ooh, or something that’s so overcomplicated I can rewrite it so it’s simpler. What’s something that’d be good for Gwen, she’s a good actress, but she can only play so much-

“I already have your groups picked out let me just put them up on the board.” My professor said, searching for the list on his computer.

Oh god. He’s never done this. We always pick groups. If Gwen and I aren’t grouped together I may just riot. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him drag the document over to the screen, so I quickly directed my attention to it.

I searched all of the lists, finally finding my name at the top of group four. Rob, Eric, and- Oh shit Gwen! Wait. There’s one more. The moment I saw the J I knew exactly who it was. My eyes darted over to Josh’s seat and had the same look I could only guess that was on my face. We both glared at each other, if we stared any harder we’d burn holes in each other.

“Motherfucker!” I whispered to Gwen, trying not to raise my voice.

“What? We are in the same group.” she looked back over to me with confusion on her face. She followed my eyes to the equally angry man across the room from me.

“Oh, shit..”

“Oh shit is right! I can’t work with that guy, I swear to god… Damn it, I can’t think of an insult! Quick help me!” I stammered out, you could practically see the steam coming out of my ears.

“Um... You can’t work with that Frodo look alike?” She suggested, both of us whispering to each other now,

“I’ll take it. I can’t work with that Frodo look alike! He’s just gonna take all of my good ideas and throw them into the lava like that fucking ring. Wait is it Frodo or sam who throws it? Know what, I don’t care. Look at what he’s making me forget important plot points in movies. I can’t work with someone who hinders my thinking process.”

“First off, Gollum falls in with the ring in hand. Secondly, drink your coffee and focus on what movie we should do. Suggest something so good so fast that it’ll make his head spin.”

She put the almost empty coffee in my hands and I took a swig, still glancing back at josh, making the same face.

Gwen started to ramble on, her words in the back of my mind. All I could focus on was wanting to be in any other group than his, even Leonard. He refuses to watch a Tarantino film, and simply because he thinks he’s beyond that. Leonard is someone I talk to if only necessary.

I tuned back in to hear. “I mean if you think about it, as much as you and Josh are to Frodo and the Ring. You’re more like Billy Wilder and Ray Chandler. I mean they hated each other, but damn if they weren’t good writers. Plus, they respect a good line-”

Inspiration was swept over me. I knew exactly what we had to do. Before I knew what was happening my feet carried themself over to Josh’s seat. Same as before, we both had the same expression, except this time it was one of surprise.

“Double Indemnity!” I blurted out a bit too loudly.

He seemed even more confused. “Double insurance money?” He questioned.

“Fuck. No. It’s the film we are going to make. It’s a fantastic idea, and it’s happening. Not even you can argue with me!” I sped out.

He sat for a moment in thought, his brows furrowed together and a cliche hand positioned on his chin.

“Fine.” Is all he said, his arms were crossed. He seemed defeated.

I simply turned on my heel and headed back to my seat. An overexcited grin plastered to my face.

#greta van fleet #josh kiszka fic #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #josh kiszka x reader #double indemnity #my fic #double indemnity series

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honeysuckle-writings · 4 years

Text

PART TWO OF THE PG AMASAI FIC

Last part. I also post these on my A03 account. Let me know if you enjoy these and I can write more pregame stuff?

Gets a little raunchy oops.

*******************************************

Saihara couldn't get their last interaction out of his mind. Too many things happened at once and honestly it was hard for him to process. Amami, his celebrity crush, had both protected him and spoken to him for the first time. He couldnt concentrate on any of his other classes because Amami's voice echoed in his head. His stomach turned with butterflies and he bit his lip. There was no doubt that anyone could see his flushed face from a mile away.

Saihara wanted to properly thank Amami. It's not often that anyone even considers his feelings or well being. Even Akamatsu would half ass try to calm Momota down. She normally had her own way of going about it.

Fantasies filled his head as Saihara imagined the dirtiest, out of the box things. Things he would never have the courage or motivation to even say outloud. He wouldnt dare let anyone know just how his thoughts could get. He was already seen as the nerdy fanboy who wouldn't shut up about Danganronpa. Adding on perverted in front of that was surely going to ruin any chance at regaining a reputation for him.

The bell rung signaling the other kids to make their way out to go home, but Saihara stayed back and made his way to the library. There weren't many kids that had to stay after that day so Saihara found an empty table and sat down. He just opted to dig out his composition book and began to write. This was notebook was where he would come up with different executions for the blackened or analysis of the trials. Also thrown in there were his secret writings about Amami; He was embarrassed to admit his "teenager in love" feelings. Often times he envisioned the two of them in a killing game together; Both of them being the survivors in the end.

The pen worked across the lined paper as he wrote out yet another version of them figuring out the mastermind of their game together. This was sure to make time fly by fast.

People came and went with little acknowledgement from him. Other students still took this time to use the computers, do homework, or check out books before the campus closed. It didn't feel like much time had passed before he heard the door of the library open again. This time he did glance up. A small framed boy with purple hair skulked in, looking in every direction with caution before he made his way into the shelves.

Kokichi Ouma. Saihara knew the kid got bullied even more than he did, which he didn't think was possible. Ouma was always seen with some sort or bandage or bruise for the day and he constantly seemed to be on edge as he pushed through the day. It was almost like prey tiptoeing through dangerous turf.

Saihara had tried to talk and befriend him on many occasions but Ouma stayed closed off. He offered conversation but anyone could tell he was uncomfortable and would push hard to keep it up. So Saihara decided to leave him alone most of the time. Plus, Ouma didn't seem at all interested in Danganronpa so Saihara would always direct the conversation there eventually and almost ruin anything he had.

Right after Ouma towered Amami. He followed Ouma towards the back shelves as he took small glances around, almost as if he was protecting Ouma as they went.

Saihara's breath hitched as he watched the two of them disappear. What could they be doing? Were they friends? More than friends? Why would Amami watch over him? So many questions filled his mind as his hands began to tremble a bit. He wanted to get up and go eavesdrop. Yes it was wrong, but he was curious. It couldn't hurt to investigate and put his mind at ease.

He closed his notebook and shoved it back into his bag. As long as he didn't leave the library, whoever was monitoring the "delinquents" of the day wouldn't say anything. He scooted his chair back quietly and quickly made his way to the back.

He weaved through, his back against the books as he looked down each aisle cautiously for any glimpse of them until at last he saw them. They stood fairly close, Ouma looking up at Amami and clutching the strap of his messenger bag. Amami stood over him, his hands in his pocket casually as he listened to Ouma whispering to him.

Saihara wished he could get closer, but he stayed hidden around the corner at the end of the aisle. Ouma was just quiet enough where all he got were broken sentences or words that he couldn't put into a cohesive statement. Saihara peeked around the corner once more to watch. Amami suddenly jerked his head toward the direction of him and Saihara jerked back and prayed that he wasn't seen.

'Fuck fuck fuck...' He thought to himself. It was time to prepare for Amami to come and find him, but he didn't. Saihara gave it a little bit and relaxed his breathing before he carefully peered once more. They hadn't moved. Oh thank god.

Ouma looked down and nodded and Amami reached out to touch his arm. Saihara knew Amami couldn't be as harsh as he was before, there really was some caring nature in him. It made his heart leap.

Amami let his hand fall from Ouma and Ouma turned to leave towards the front. This time Amami didn't follow, but instead crossed his arms and watched him leave.

Saihara turned his head away, hoping to not be seen if Amami looked around again before leaving behind Ouma. When he peeked again, he was right. Amami was no where to be seen. He must have been satisfied and tailed Ouma. Saihara took a deep breath. Part of him was actually sad that Amami had left. Today had been the closest he had ever been to Amami and it was thrilling.

Content with his investigation, Saihara turned to go back to his table but was stopped abruptly by someones chest. Saihara's breath hitched as he was faced with that familiar brown cardigan and red striped tie. This was it. He was done for.

His eyes slowly raised until he could see under the lip of his hat, Amami staring darkly down at him. Saihara froze in place. Fuck.

"Uhm. Uh. I'm so- oof!" Saihara started to apologize but was cut off as he was shoved against the shelf.

"What the hell were you doing spying on us?" Amami leaned his arm on the shelf next to Saihara's head, his other hand in Saihara's shoulder holding him in place.

"I w-wasn't spyin-"

"Don't fucking lie to me. You were eavesdropping on us. I saw you the entire time."

Did he really? Saihara thought he was actually doing a great job staying hidden.

"I just-just wanted to uhm." Saihara could not for the life of him come up with any excuse. He was so mad at himself for finding his predicament low key arousing. Amami was attractive and he was so close that Saihara could swear he felt Amami's hot breath on him.

"I swear if you are trying to get to Ouma." Amami almost growled.

"No!" Saihara interrupted, a little too loudly, causing Amami to sneer and dart his eyes side to side to make sure no one else was near them. Saihara threw his hands up in defense, his legs closing together and trembling. "I sw-swear! I just want-ted to see you." There was no use in hiding it. Anything else he could have come up with would have been worse and Saihara already was not a good liar.

"What?" Amami didn't seem like he believed him as he continued to stay, unmoving.

"I just...I saw y-you and I, I wanted to look at you more." He was not making any sense. Time for the flood gates to open and let himself ramble on. "I cant take my-my eyes off you and I'm s-sorry I just followed to look at y-you more. I have a big crush on-on you and any time I g-get to actually see you I want to g-get closer."

Amami's face was unchanging but his eyes glanced down at Saihara's frame and body language. "You're enjoying this aren't you."

That shut Saihara up immediately. "I'm s-sorry?"

"You're enjoying this." Amami stated once again before taking a step closer, his body now touched Saihara's.

Saihara could not read Amami's face, even with it being so close to his. He wanted to lean up and kiss him so badly. Amami's lips were right there and it wouldn't take much.

"You're getting off on me even being this close to you."

"Yes." Saihara's response came out quickly and very breathy. He became very aware of the body that was touching his and he longed for it to be flushed against his. Saihara spread his legs without a second thought.

Amami scoffed at the response he was given and looked down. Contrasting his statements, Amami pressed his thigh between Saihara's legs and felt just how hard he had gotten.

Saihara's eyed widened and he moved his hips to grind down on Amami's thigh involuntarily. A small squeak escaped his lips and his eyes fluttered, but he worked to keep them open.

"Fucking knew it." Amami's eyes pierced through Saihara's as he pushed his thigh up more.

Saihara reached out and grabbed Amami's cardigan tightly in an attempt to get even closer. His breathing picked up as he continued his movement of rubbing himself on Amami's thigh.

This was better than he had imagined in his dreams. He felt drool pooling into his mouth as he lost himself in the smell and touch of Amami. He had completely forgotten that they were in public and just hidden away enough to not be caught.

The hand Amami had been holding Saihara down with moved up against the shelf, trapping Saihara between both his arms.

Saihara didn't mind, not that he would go anywhere. His movements switched between pressing down hard and going slow to desperately rubbing himself. Saihara's face was so red and his abdomen began to tighten. There was no way he was going to make it much longer.

Saihara wrapped his arm's around Amami's neck to completely flush them together. He whimpered and tried to keep his moans quiet as his hips staggered in their movement. Saihara buried his face into the crook of Amami's neck in an attempt to keep himself quiet, his hat slipping back and falling on to the ground.

He could hear that Amami's breath had changed as well and for a bit, Saihara thought he may actually be enjoying this as well.

That thought was all he needed to start pushing him over the edge. Saihara felt the drool dip down from his mouth and on to Amami's shirt. The tightness in his abdomen turned into heat as the movements of his hips became more erratic.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Saihara squeezed his thighs around Amami's and held on tight as felt himself climax. He bit his lip hard to keep from making any noise as he twitched and rode out the orgasm.

It felt like they stayed like that for minutes, but it was only couple of seconds.

Amami moved his leg out from between Saihara's and was met with a whimper from the latter. Amami straightened himself up and looked down at him.

When Saihara finally got the courage to look up, Amami's eyes weren't nearly as dark as they were before.

Neither of them spoke as they looked at each other. Saihara attempted to catch his breath but he was in such a daze it was hard to concentrate.

Amami leaned down and picked up the forgotten hat on the ground before placing it haphazardly on Saihara's head.

Saihara reached up and fixed it properly.

"Uhm. Th-thank you." Saihara broke the silence.

"For?" Amami questioned as he straightened himself up.

"That. Uhm. My hat? And-d doing that. You- why did y-you do that wi-with me?"

"Your time is almost up now right?"

Time? He forgot he was supposed to basically be in detention at the moment.

"Oh." He looked over at a clock that hung on the wall above a close by shelf. It really was almost time now, but how did Amami know? "Ye-yeah."

"Alright. You're welcome." Amami walked past him and began to leave.

"Wait!" He called out, Amami stopped, and then Saihara caught himself and whispered. "Wait. P-please. I don't understand."

Amami just shrugged. Saihara started to think even he didn't know why he did that. He started to walk out again and this time Saihara did not stop him. Amami was now more confusing than ever before, but Saihara couldn't help but smile to himself at having that moment with Amami.

He was never going to forget it, but now it was time to get home and get cleaned up. Saihara wondered if anything would change between them now.

#amasai #danganronpa #shuichi saihara #rantaro amami #pregame saihara #pregame amami #pregame danganronpa #drv3 #ndrv3

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writersrealmbts · 5 years

Text

Con Amore: Part 10

Bulletproof Melody Sequel

Description: Con Amore– A directive to a musician to perform a selected passage of a composition tenderly, with affectionate emotion, or in a loving manner; an instruction to the player of an instrument meaning ‘with love’ or ‘lovingly’. Three years with all seven of your loves, three years of relative peace. But now everything is threatened as darkness surges from the horizon.

Originally Posted: 09/20/2019

Tags: Superheroes, Ot7

Fluff/Angst: 2,070 words

A/N: Well, here’s another part for those of you invested!

“We said no secrets,” Jimin objected, folding his arms. “You did, and I said it was a ridiculous expectation,” You countered. “Look, there are some things that are better left unsaid until the timing is right. This is the wrong time.” He glared at you poutily. “If it’s that important we should have known before we ever teamed up with them!” “This is why I didn’t want you to say anything! Are you happy now?” You asked Yoongi, completely exasperated. “It’s Joon’s fault,” He muttered. “I was worried,” Namjoon said defensively. “We all just need to calm down and talk about this. Calmly.” The three youngest started objecting and arguing all at once, with Namjoon, you, and each other. Hoseok tried to get them to stop fighting, and Yoongi was cringing on the sidelines. Jin got dragged into the argument when one of them accused him of keeping secrets too.

You took a textbook from the shelf and slammed it onto the table, earning a startled silence that you quickly took over. “Enough! All of you just sit down and shut up or I swear I’m going to do something stupid and dangerous and potentially life-threatening.” “You wouldn’t,” Taehyung said boldly. “Watch me, shocky. I’ve got a whole archive of potentially deadly artifacts that need organizing,” You snapped back. His mouth snapped shut into a pout. Obviously still thinking you were bluffing, but seeing the sense in not pushing things. You sat down, dropping your head into your hands as they all remained quiet. “Date us all, they said. We’ll make sure it’s never hard, they said. Well, I call bull. You all rarely ever make this easy and right now is when you especially need to make it easy. You will never, ever know everything about me because I will likely never know everything about myself so get a grip. I don’t need you giving me crap for having secrets. We all have secrets. Some of them we only share with one other person and others we don’t share at all because we know that it’s hard enough for us to know ourselves. Nothing has changed.” “We all said early on, that sometimes there would be things that we couldn’t share with the whole group and that it was okay,” Namjoon continued when he saw you were done speaking. “She said she’ll tell all of us when it’s over, so that’s what she’ll do. For now, though, we should just be enjoying the fact that she’s still here. She’s leaving soon. Right, baby?” You nodded. “Day after next.” “Did you make an appointment like you said you wanted to?” He asked gently, moving to sit beside you. You nodded. “Later today.” “Do you have a preference in who goes with you?” You met his eyes, unsure. “Do you want me to go with you? Hobi can handle things here.” You nodded, easily shifting over to his lap when he held out his arms. He stroked your hair and back. “Alright, then the rest of you get back to preparations. We know the fight is coming to us, so let’s be ready for it.” Jimin stopped on his way out, pressing a kiss to your head. “I’m just worried, chubs.” “I know,” You whispered back. He sighed and left with the others, most of whom also dropped kisses on your head or cheek in passing. Jin waited, kissing both you and Namjoon. “If it’s anything like I think it is, I understand.” Then he left. Namjoon waited until the door clicked shut. “Have you been getting enough sleep?” “I got more last night,” You replied, tucking into his chest as best you could. “Morning sickness?” “Mild, just general queasiness instead of full on nausea. Until all of this. It’s another reason I wanted to make an appointment. Other than the sickness and the fatigue…it doesn’t seem real. I need it confirmed, you know?” He nodded. “I know. You seem sort of sleepy now. You want to try a nap? We’ve got plenty of time.” You nodded. “Joon?” “Yeah, baby?” “Am I a coward? For hiding away from the fight?” “No, not even a little. And you’re not hiding. You want to be here, and we know that. But for the baby’s sake, it’s best if you aren’t. I know you can do quite a lot while pregnant, but fighting is something none of us want to risk. Not when it comes to you.” He lay you down and immediately joined you, kicking his shoes off before covering both of you up with a blanket. “And you’re protecting those boys.” “She said they’re looking for my human identity.” “Yeah. Kind of scary.” “But it also might afford us an opportunity to see some of the faces of our enemy?” He hummed, but it was a disapproving hum. “Sounds risky.” “Everything is risky. We can make sure I’m safe, maybe even get a hostage.” “I’ll think about it. You’re not going to be able to nap, are you?” “No.” “Think they can fit you in earlier?” “Maybe, we can always try.” Both of you got up and dressed, then found Taehyung to transport the two of you to the clinic. The waiting room was empty and the nurse said that they had an opening in a little bit, so the two of you sat down and he started looking through some of the baby information packets while you mindlessly flipped through a magazine. You remembered what Yoongi said about planning a nursery and sighed. Maybe if you got a bunch of magazines, then you could all cut out pictures of ideas and stuff. It would at least give you a project for while you were in the safe house. “This fight…it might take a while,” Namjoon whispered after a while. “Even my plans make it last a long time, because I don’t want any part of it remaining. Nothing to threaten our baby.” You sighed and rested your head on his shoulder. “We’ll probably have to move to a new house after all of this.” “Yeah, it said in the news that our house got burned down. Glad you told us to empty it.” You sighed again, closing your eyes against the world. “How many times will I have to lose my home?” “Hey, look at me,” He whispered, turning and cupping your face in his hands. His face was a portrait of emotions that would take you years to completely parcel out. “As long as we’re all together, anywhere is home for me. We’ll find another place to live, maybe one that’s even better. But as long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter if I live in a closet when I’m not sleeping with you.” “Y/n? Come on back,” A new nurse called, smiling as she led you back to a room. You left with a photo in your hands, unable to tear your eyes away from the blob of an almost humanoid looking thing that was your baby. Namjoon guided you down the sidewalk, and across the street to the pharmacy. “Alright, we need to get you some vitamins because she said you seemed a little low in iron and we want you to be as healthy as possible. You said you wanted some magazines for the safe house?” “Yeah,” You murmured, glancing around, but ultimately looking back at your smudge-baby. “Hey, you okay?” “It’s just…weird. You know? This blob is going to be a baby that I give birth to in thirty weeks. How long is thirty weeks?” “I think it’s somewhere around seven months,” He replied patiently. “Like she said, it’s due around February 6th.” “How are you not freaking out?” “It’s taking every ounce of self-control I’ve got to not run over to the store and buy everything a nursery needs,” He answered sincerely. “But, hearing it’s heartbeat…” He stepped in and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “That was wonderful,” You whispered. “And a relief. It’s so hard to tell this early on. It almost didn’t feel real.” “She was really worried about how stressed you were. And she did say you should get some clothes.” “Yeah, things are getting a little tight,” You admitted reluctantly. He kissed your cheek. “Calm before the storm, let’s try and get you things you’ll need in the next couple weeks. So, the vitamins she recommended, looser clothing…anything else?” “Nothing I can’t get if I need it.” You kept hold of his arm as he led the way through the store. “There’s a store a ways away from the safe house. Small enough to be off the grid, big enough to have anything I might need. I’m going to go through some of the boxes of my family’s stuff. The things I haven’t gone through. There are some clothes there that I can probably use.” “You think about her a lot now, don’t you?” “My mom? Yeah. What about you? Thinking about your parents?” “I left to protect them, and they know that now, but I can’t see them without putting them in danger. Same for most of the others. Although, Jin-hyung’s parents threw him out, so did Jimin’s. It’s hard to imagine what kind of father’s we’ll be. Hoseok had a good father, and Jimin said his father was good until they found out about him. Tae’s father is still in his life, and Jungkook has been talking to his family again. It’s hard to get any information out of Yoongi, but now and then he goes away for a weekend and I know he sees his brother at least.” “He’ll be so loved,” You whispered. “You think it’s a boy?” You shrugged. “I don’t really know. At some points I think boy, and others I think girl.” He crouched to compare the vitamins. “These are the ones she suggested. This one is herbal and the other—” “Herbal.” “You have to take this one twice a day, though.” “I can handle that. We’ll need to go to the other store for me to get some clothes.” He nodded, smiling a little. “Hey.” You tilted your head a little. “Thanks for letting me be the one to come with you. I needed a break from planning.” He kissed your forehead. You smiled up at him. “I’m happy you came too. I’m happy we did this. Although, now it’s really real. Oh my god, what if I mess it up and they end up needing major counseling for depression and anxiety because I was such a bad mother, or because we all got killed when they were in their prime developmental years? What if I raise a supervillain? What if my kid is the next black sheep of the family that tries to exploit the archives in a dangerous way?” “First of all, you’re going to be a great mother. Second, we’ll all make sure that they don’t end up that way. Even if we get killed…we’ve already talked about it a little. We were just waiting for the right time to talk to you about it, which is apparently now. We figured that the strongest connection is to Hoseok’s family, since they actually know the whole situation we live in, so we wanted to make sure that legally, if anything were to happen to one of us, they would take our child and care for it. Hoseok already broached the subject and they were receptive. Is that okay?” “Yeah, that’s actually really good, a really good idea. I’m glad you guys thought of that. Okay.” You tried to calm your breathing down. “And the backup plan for that?” “Tae’s family, probably.” He grabbed some bandages and antiseptic, as well as various painkillers. You shuddered as you thought of what those would be used for. Of not being the one to use them. You couldn’t bear the idea of them getting hurt while you were gone. You didn’t know if you could lose any of them. You still dreamed of them being killed and tortured by your father. “That’s a good choice,” You forced yourself to say. He looked back and held out his hand with a small smile. “We’re putting thought into our future. I promise. Do you need anything else while we’re here?” “Not from here.” “Okay, then lets go pay for this and head to the bigger store.”

~~~~~

Part 9. Part 11.

Masterlist. ~ Series Masterpost.

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accio-jungkookie · 4 years

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shine on anyway - spider-man x reader (ch. 1)

shine on anyway - chapter one

A/N: Hey, guys! Welcome to the first chapter of my Spidey fic :D AHHH I can’t believe this lol. I’ve been working over this for a bit, and I can’t believe I’m actually posting it? Idk man, crazy world lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! I love feedback so please feel free to like or comment! Thanks! (Also note that this story is focusing on character building and development more so than fan service, so Spidey doesn't show up for a little bit in the story <3 Thanks for understanding).

Summary: A kid from Milwaukee has to grow up far more quickly than she should while facing threats that men half her age would never dare go near. So, when she has to uproot after losing everything, does she lose herself too?

Word count: 1.4k (I promise the chapters get longer)

Warnings: Discussion of depression and anxiety, minor character death, swearing, fight scenes/injury, loss, I’ll add any more if I happen to have forgotten.

teaser - one - next

“Y/N!” You heard your friend, Kyomi, yell from down the hall. You looked up, slightly startled about your name being shouted, before spotting your beautiful best friend. You smiled in her direction before shoving your jacket and books for your afternoon classes into your locker and shutting it. By the time you turned to face her, Kyomi was already almost by your side.

“Hi, Ky. How’s your morning?” You asked with a yawn, glancing on your phone screen to see the time. Not even 7:45 yet, and you already wanted to go home.

“Oh, you know, a Monday morning. And how about you, grumpy gills?” Ky asked with a grin as you rolled your eyes.

“It’s not even 8 a.m. and yet I’m awake. So, as good as I can be.” You mumbled with a small grin, grabbing her sleeve to tug her to the second floor of the school, aiming for a cup of coffee from the school’s student-run café. You didn’t mind the taste of dirt, or the slight anxiety boost, as long as you could stay awake during your first two classes of the day.

You jumped slightly as someone slammed their locker, the noise hurting your ears as you wince. Ky frowns and holds your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Anxiety not doing well today?” She asked quietly, and you nodded as you opened your eyes and blinked a few times. You took a deep breath, trying not to focus on the sensory input that’s nearly ruining your ears. It’s nothing serious, or something you have diagnosed since the idea of it scares you, but it’s enough to freak you out a bit. Sensory overload is something you deal with a lot, and your massive amounts of anxiety never really help at all.

“Is coffee really a good idea, then? I know it makes your anxiety jump a lot, and I don’t want you to be on edge all day.” Kyomi said with a gentle smile. She was always the caring friend, the one with answers who always knew what to say. You were caring too, of course, but it was harder for you to express your emotions than it was for Ky. Not a bad thing, but a thing indeed.

“I’m ok, Ky. I’ve gotta make it through this AP physics exam in first period, so a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.” You said with a small grin, walking into the small room. Ky eventually convinced you to go with tea instead, since it still has caffeine but much less so compared to coffee. Then, it was time for class.

The time passes slow, your brain being crammed full of new ideas and theories and such that you would have to re-teach yourself later, since the lessons were built for straight memorization, not memory retention or application. The American school system was a pain in the ass, and your high school was a prime example of that.

However, your three exams went well, if not mentally draining. Having multiple AP classes is an honest to god feat of nature, but you managed to do it with all A’s and B’s. You spent lunch in a hallway somewhere with Ky, and the end of your day sped by with minor hiccups in regard to your anxiety. But, overall, an averagely boring day. You went to the library after saying goodbye to Ky, since she wasn’t part of the school musical, and then set to work on your homework. The good thing about having three exams today meant you had minimal homework, only in three classes (Spanish, German, and AP English Language/Composition). Easy enough to work through translations and building sentences, but the English work was annoying. A research paper on any topic of your choosing, written in APA style. APA style was disgusting.

It was nearing almost 5 in the afternoon when the library was starting to close, so you packed up your things and went to the auditorium, sitting in a random chair in the back and pulling out your laptop. Not the best, not the worst, but it did what it needed to.

You shifted with a shiver, hating how cold the auditorium always is, before your felt a sharp pain on your ankle. You freaked out a bit, immediately slapping at your ankle in hopes of scaring off, or killing, whatever the hell had just bit you. You looked down at the floor once you had calmed down, and nearly gagged at the size of the spider on the floor. It was massive and disgusting with weird coloring.

“Fucking public school. I hate Milwaukee, swear to god.” You mumbled, snapping a quick picture of it so you could identify it later, before you got up and moved to a different section of the auditorium entirely. Rehearsals started in less than 15 minutes anyway, so there was no need to keep working. Instead, you changed your shoes and got on stage to stretch and warm up slightly. There was a slightly weird feeling in your stomach, and you kept looking down at your ankle every now and again to keep an eye on the bite, which seemed a little annoyed, if nothing else.

Soon enough, rehearsal ended, and it was time to walk home. You pulled out your pepper spray that you kept hidden in your bag and began walking. It was only a 20-minute walk, but 20 minutes walking in a big city, alone, and at night was freaky. Plus, you’re a smaller, high school aged girl. You were more prone to being abducted and sold into the sex trade simply because you were a girl. Disgusting, yes, but a sad reality. You continued walking, all of your senses on high alert as you kept glancing around. You got home right on time, locking the doors before setting everything down in the kitchen. You smiled as you heard the clicking of your dogs’ nails on the floor coming towards you. You smiled and sat on the floor, pulling the two dogs into your lap, cuddling them and giving them love before you had to stand up again.

You went upstairs to your grandparent’s room, lightly knocking on the door to let them know you were coming in, if they were even awake. You walked in, seeing them both asleep, and walked back out again. No need to wake them up if there wasn’t an issue. So, you went back to the kitchen on the main floor, writing on the whiteboard on the wall that you got home safe, and that you didn’t want to wake them. You grabbed your things, leaning down to give the two dogs another pat before leading them to their beds, telling them to sleep before you walked downstairs to the basement where your room was located. You walked through the curtain that served as your door and walked to the far end of your short room to pull the cord to turn your light on.

You turned towards your desk and sighed, knowing it would be a long night for homework. You set everything down on the floor and pulled out your textbooks and laptop, setting them down on your desk. You sat at your chair and got to work on your Spanish homework, ready to crank through it so you could get to everything else.

A few hours had gone by, and you were starting not to feel so well. You thanked your lucky stars for the timing, since you were just finishing up the last parts of your homework. You looked at the clock, seeing it was almost 1 a.m. You sighed and got ready for bed, starting to steadily feel more sick and tired. By the time you flopped into bed at 1:02, you were nearly half asleep and sweating buckets. You barely managed to remember to pull your glasses off of your face before passing out entirely for the night, dreaming of weird spiders and itchy ankles.

You woke up the next morning at 6:30, still tired as you cursed yourself tiredly for not timing out when you would wake up with your sleep cycle. Still, you had gotten more sleep last night than you had in all of last week combined. So, you told yourself you were rested as you sat up in bed, rubbing your eyes. You blinked the tiredness away, noticing you could see clearly.

‘Did I forget to take out my contacts last night?’ you thought, a little scared at the idea until you realized you had worn your glasses yesterday. With a frown, you got out of bed and started to get ready anyway, keeping an eye out for any creepy-crawlies. You were mildly confused, but you would figure it out later. For now, you had to focus on getting to school on time with the nasty migraine you had.

#spiderman x y/n #spiderman x reader #spider-man #fanfic #fan fiction #peter parker #iron man #tony stark #pepper potts #slow burn #found family #fluff #angst #tom holland #robert downey jr #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #spider-man fanfiction

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