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azukisoul · 11 months

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Translation of GinHiji manga/dj: "Together." by 礼央。(pixiv) [non-h]

This was requested on Twitter, a heartwarming reincarnation story :") I loved translating it.

CLICK HERE FOR MANGA LINK | Out of courtesy to the artist I'm not reposting their art here, please visit the page, refer to the translation as you read along, and show the artist some love!

I do not mind uncredited text reposts but please DO NOT use my translation to scanlate/edit the manga and post the edits. Keep it text only and link to the source.

Downloadable translation on Google Docs

Translation

[page 1] S: Hijikata-san! H: Oh, glasses. G: Um, have you seen Gin-san?

[page 2] H: Oh, so you're alive. G: Huh!? G: Is it a bad thing that I'm alive? G: Wait. G: Hold on, you're on break? H: Well, yeah. G: Are you here to see me? H: I'm just taking a walk. G: Hmph. I know you're here to see me, though. H: Die, idiot. G: What have you been saying!? Am I not allowed to be alive!?

[page 3] H: Earlier, H: I saw glasses. G: Shinpachi? H: Yeah. H: He was looking for you, y'know. G: …. H: You… H: What are you H: thinking of right now? G: What's this all of a sudden? G: Is it because of Shinpachi? S: Gin-san has been acting weird lately. S: This morning, too, he said he's just heading out to buy Jump, but… H: Nah. H: Well… H: Yeah.

[page 4] H: He was worried about you. H: Hurry up and go home. G: Pfft. That's why you were surprised I'm alive? G: Hijikata-kun, are you an idiot? H: Shut up. G: Hey, wanna listen to me? H: Sure.

[page 5] G: You know, I… H: Mm. G: I found myself thinking that I'm happy. H: Mm. G: And then I ended up thinking about whether or not I'm allowed to be this happy. G: And then, somehow G: I suddenly got scared. H: I see. G: If I'm at home, G: there's Kagura, and Sadaharu, G: and during the day there's Shinpachi, too. G: It's fun there even if we're not doing anything. H: Mm.

[page 6] G: I ended up thinking that I don't want to let them go. H: …. G: It's silly, right? G: I've never even thought about what's ahead of me or what my future looks like. G: Someday, they all will go to walk on their own paths and leave my side. G: This won't go on forever. I know that, and I don't have a problem with that. G: I'll tell them that I'm happy they all found something they want to do. G: But then I thought about what I'm going to do by myself when that time comes. G: I closed my eyes G: and tried to picture that now emptier room. G: And then…

[page 7] G: I can only see you there, Hijikata. G: Hey. G: Will you live together with me?

[page 8] H: Those words made my heart clench. H: Ah. H: I want to protect this person. I want to be by his side. H: That's what I felt.

[page 9] H: Things progressed surprisingly quickly after that. H: Kondou-san cried and was happy for us. H: The kids welcomed us. H: And then, we H: someway somehow, became a family.

[page 10] G: Hey. G: Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death.

[page 11] G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. *taps* H: So that in our next life H: I'll keep you from being alone again.

[page 12] H: Hey, hurry up!

[page 13] H: You're so damn slow, you fucking perm! You want us to leave together, right!? G: Wa-wait a minute, okay! I'm coming now, dammit! H: Your slowness is gonna make me end up being late! G: Sorry, sorry. *step step step* G: Man, Mr. Public Servant Police Officer here sure is strict about time. H: You're the one who's too loose about it! Also, hurry up and find a job already! G: No need. Right now, I'm trying to think about what I truly want in life. It's an important time for me. H: You'll probably go to the Employment Service Center today, anyway. G: I can't say anything to that! H: Hey. H: You…

[page 14] G: Okay, then. Be careful. H: What are you thinking about right now? H: Yeah. You too. H: What do you see? G: I'm gonna make dinner and wait for you, darling. H: That's freaking gross. H: Are you not afraid anymore? H: Right now, H: are you happy? *clack*

[page 15] H: Me? H: Yeah. I'm here with you, H: so I'm happy.

[page 16] The following is an additional story for "Together." that I drew for REOLOG (my doujin collection). *Depiction of death *Post-reincarnation

[page 17] G: I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. G: I don't know who it belongs to.

[page 18] G: G to T… G: G is for Gintoki, I guess? G: Then who is T… G: I have absolutely no idea.

[page 19] G: My mom said G: I seem to have picked it up out of nowhere when I was a baby. G: Even when they took it away out of fear of me accidentally swallowing it G: or threw it away because it seemed strange, G: before they knew it, it always returned to the palm of my hands. G: My mom then had the idea of putting that ring around my neck.

[page 20] S: Heey, Gintoki! S: The entrance ceremony is about to start. G: Yeah, I'm coming. G: I have no idea if this ring even has any meaning at all. G: But, G: when I look at it, my heart becomes calmer, yet also excited, yet also painful. It's strange. G: I'm sure there is a meaning. G: I believe that. H: Haha. K: And then, Otae-san was like…

[page 21] G: Hiji… G: …kata.

[page 22] *glare* *ba-dump* G: Huh? H: Who the hell are you? G: Oh, sorry. Did I say something? H: Huh? Say something? Nah. You called my name, right? G: N… Name?

[page 23] O: Hijikata-san! What are you doing? H: Tch. You damn perm. G: His name is G: Hijikata, huh… G: Hijikata? I said his name? I did? G: Why? G: …. G: Hijikata.

[page 24] G: Hijikata. G: Who is that? G: Hijikata. G: Is that someone I know? G: Hijikata. G: Who the hell are you? G: Hey, Hijikata. G: Will you live together with me? G: Who?

[page 25] G: Hey, Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death. G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. H: So that in our next life…

[page 26] H: So that in our next life… H: I'll keep you from being alone again. *rustle*

[page 27] G: Hijikata… G: …Toshirou. G: Yeah. I remember now. G: I remember now. G: G to T. G: This is G: the ring I gave him.

[page 28] G: In our next life… G: We met. G: We met, G: Hijikata.

[page 29] -

[page 30] H: I'll go too, soon. H: Wait for me, okay?

[page 31] H: Yorozuya.

[page 32] -

[page 33] H: I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. H: Who does it belong to? H: What shards are these? H: I have no idea.

[page 34] G: And then, Zura and Sakomoto's like… G: Then, Takasugi fell (lol) G: Hilarious, right? H: …. H: Hey, Sakata. G: What is it, Hijikata-kun? H: Which class are you in? G: H (Ecchi) ♥ H: Don't say it in such a weird way. H: And this class is? G: A Class. H: Then, let me ask you this. H: Why are you always eating lunch here everyday!? We're not even on the same floor. H: Furthermore, here in front of me!

[page 35] G: That's clearly G: because I want to be next to you, right? G: Just kidding. *GROSSED OUT* *fidgets* G: Hey, come on! Don't look so clearly grossed out like that! H: Stop those jokes already. G: Hahah. It was just a joke. Don't mind it so much. H: Geez. I really don't date guys, okay? H: ….

[page 36] H: ? G: I know, I know. G: Hahah. H: Sakata Gintoki… H: The first time I met him was on the day of our high school entrance ceremony. G: Hiji… G: …kata.

[page 37] H: Who the hell are you? G: Oh, sorry. H: A guy with lazy eyes that resemble those of a dead fish. H: Rarely-seen silver hair. G: Did I say something? H: It should've been the first time we met, but it didn't feel like the first. H: You damn perm. H: After that day, H: For some reason, Sakata took a liking to me and popped up in my classroom whenever he had the time. O: Oh, it's Danna. K: Ooh, Gintoki, you're here. G: Don't interrupt us. Get the hell away, Gorilla. H: Kondou-san is not a gorilla!

[page 38] H: The guy is suspicious, H: but I don't think of it as strange and end up hating it. H: In fact, that smile H: perhaps even feels familiar to me. *ba-dump* G: Hm? What's wrong? H: Oh, nothing. H: I never knew you wear that thing.

[page 39] G: Oh, this? G: You're curious about it? H: Nah, not really. G: Don't worry. I don't have a girlfriend or anything. H: L-Like anyone even asked about that! G: Come on, just hear me out. G: This is something I've been keeping safe for as long as I can remember. G: I've been holding on to it without even knowing who it belongs to or why I can't let go of it. H: Without knowing… H: All this time? G: Yeah. G: All this time. H: For as long as you can remember? G: Yeah. G: As long as I can remember.

[page 40] H: I was shocked. H: His story is exactly the same as mine. H: The ring in that bottle… H: And his ring… *thump* H: What is happening? H: There's a strange pain in my chest. *ruffles*

[page 41] G: Take your time. H: …. G: I'll wait.

[page 42] H: T to G. H: Does it mean from Toshirou to Gintoki…?

[page 43] H: That can't be the case. H: The first time I met him was on the day of our entrance ceremony. H: I don't think I've met him before that. H: But… is that true? G: I'll wait. H: Could it be that I've just forgotten? H: I want to remember. H: I feel like I have to remember. H: If there really is something to remember. H: Or do I just want that to be the case? H: I don't know. H: On his ring… H: Are there somebody's initials carved on it?

[page 44] H: Sakata. H: Sakata Gintoki. H: Who are you? H: Sakata Gintoki. H: Really? H: Sakata Gintoki. H: I called his name like that?

[page 45] G: Hey, Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, G: what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death. G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. *taps* H: So that in our next life…

[page 46] H: So that in our next life… H: I'll keep you from being alone again. *shock...*

[page 47] H: Right. H: I know him. H: I know Sakata Gintoki. H: Something as important as this… H: How could I forget… *grip* G: Hijikata-kun. H: Tch. H: Damn it…! *runs*

[page 48] H: Haa… H: Haa… *ring* *ring* H: Hey, where the hell are you? H: What? H: Heading back home from work? Where!? H: Whatever, just tell me! H: Huh? H: Near the park? Then right now I'm… G: Hijikata!

[page 49] G: Hey, what's up? H: Sakata… H: Gintoki. G: Hijikata? What's wrong? H: Sorry. G: Hm? H: I said I'll keep you from being alone, but… H: Sorry. G: … H: You've been in front of me all this time, but H: I didn't realize. I'm sorry. H: I've never even called your name properly. H: I'm really sorry,

[page 50] H: Yorozuya.

[page 51] G: Hijikata, you… H: Hey, Yorozuya… H: Can you put it on me, too? G: …

[page 52] H: Hah. H: It fits me perfectly. I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. I don't know who it belongs to. But…

[page 53] G: We finally meet, Hijikata. G: Don't cry. H: I'm just sorry for making you wait. H: Also, I'm not crying. G: You're totally crying. H: I'm not crying.

[page 54] Those faraway memories, bond, love. The miracle of being able to meet again.

[page 55] I won't let you be alone. I'll be by your side. To make you happy. To become happy. From now on, too, always.

[page 56] Together.

#gintama #gintama translations #sakata gintoki #hijikata toushirou #ginhiji #gintoki x hijikata #hijigin #*wipes tear*#also if anyone has requests i'm always welcome #ghg translations

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leggyre · 1 year

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hi all! sorry, this is going to be a bit of a sad post.

I just want to share that Nano passed away today. He was a very old bun at 9 years old and we just couldn't keep it up with his increasingly difficult health issues.

As of right now, I'm not asking for consolation or any words of comfort. It's the first time I'm dealing with a loss of this scale, of something I've loved so dearly for so long, that I'll never get back.

I'm still coming to terms about how I feel about it. There were so many times I felt like meeting him was fate. And to be honest, I still do. I set out to adopt a classic white bunny(because honestly that's the only color I had ever seen in the place before) but between all the sleepy or hungry babies there was a little black mischievous boy hoping around and approaching people who gave my finger little kisses and I just couldn't leave him there. We didn't have any boxes or cages to carry him in so he got to pee on my lap on the way home lol

The first time he licked me after that day, something I thought would take ages to happen after lengthy Bunny Research(tm) telling me so, was maybe within a few days or a week, but what made the moment as special as it was for me was the fact I was sitting on the ground, having a breakdown, crying my eyes out. I have a really hard time using the word love to others because I'm never sure of my feelings and I don't want to say it without meaning, but from then on I had never been so sure about how much I loved him.

I have a lot of other stories like that. He helped me learn a lot about myself. He gave me company at my worst. I missed him so much when I had to stop allowing him on the bed to take a nap with me because one day he just decided peeing there was okay. I laid down on the floor on the most uncomfortable positions for the longest time because he had fallen asleep in my arms. I did that this morning, after I was told he might not make it when we went to see the vet today. It didn't even feel like anything was wrong, really. I kinda thought maybe we shouldn't go and I could keep doing that tomorrow. And the day after. And the next. But every time he woke up and shuffled around it was so easy for me to tell he was uncomfortable, trying to find a way to lay down in a way that would ease the pain. He didn't look any different to most people, but I memorized every single kind of motion he ever did.

And it's funny to think that he knew me the same way. He knew exactly what me shutting off the computer sounded like and that it was the perfect time to beg for snacks and attention. He knew when I was hiding something for him. He knew exactly where I walked so he could leave the god damned piss traps in the way when he was mad at me. He knew that if he kept poking his nose out the fence long enough I'd come back eventually to pet him more even if I had already walked all the way to my bed and laid down. And he knew that he could come to me for comfort whenever he felt scared or in pain. He trusted me so much and that meant the world to me.

Just to add one weird, maybe funny thing that's gonna keep me pondering forever; one day, years ago, I wished that I could be the one to take any pain he'd ever feel. Since then, I kind of took note that we'd have our sickest days together, and often in similar ways. It's most likely confirmation bias, but I do like to think I did manage to take some of his pain from him.

Well. My plan was just to share the news and go on with my day. Think about stuff. Couldn't keep from writing this much, though, so I just decided to let it all out anyway.

Again, I don't want any comfort. I will always love him, the things he taught me, and the memories I'm blessed with. I will be okay.

I want the thought of him to keep bringing joy into my life, because that's the thing he's always been the best at. The second best was destroying specifically videogame related cables.

heres some shenanigans to brighten up the mood :]

and here's a cute pic from years ago as well 🐇💞

#the newfound text tag #cw: death #tbh he singlehandedly made me obsessed with bunnies #i tend to get more attached to things i relate to and #turns out rabbits are Very Autistic

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stillreeloading · 8 months

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DAY 11, 12, 13 OF 90 DAY OF PRODUCTIVITY

With @academiawho and @docta1228

Yup more late posts. :')

Day 11/90 : 29th September 2023

I don't remember much about this day but my yeolpumta says that I did a bit of math. My older tumblr post also says i tried coming up with a plan on how to deal with the subjects. Now, I just have to implement it.

Day 12/90 : 30th September 2023 (saturday)

I woke up late today :) My first class (8-8:50; Engineering Graphics) had been cancelled so i calmly woke up at 7 and did some random things for a while. I felt too lazy to bath so i thought i'll just bath after my second and last class for the day (9-9:50; Gen Physics). I ate breakfast peacefully and went to class. I managed to concentrate well in class which was something I loved.

I had received a mail that Engineering Graphics lab makeup (makeup = giving you another chance in case you were absent to one of the labs for any valid reason. I was absent because I was sick back then) would be held from 4 pm to 6 pm (actually only 5:30 cuz they start evaluating by then). I went and successfully did my drawings (I have no idea how; i suck at eg). Also I got a perfect score. :) I came out and prepared myself to walk to the mess for snacks (pasta) and connected my bluetooth and opened my phone (phones not allowed inside lab) to see about 5 missed calls from my father and 6 msised calls from mother and i panicked. :'D

I immediately called father and asked him wahts up and he said "Nothing I just called many times cuz you weren't picking up" I told him about the lab and as I made my way out of the building through the fire exit (there was no fire, just that the closest staircase is the fire exit staircase which also has an exit from the academic block) I saw a car that resembled ours outside. o.o It also had the sticker we have on ours so on going closer i saw my father :) YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FELT LIKE I JUST WENT TO HIM HE GOT DOWN AND I STARTED CRYING

My uncle was there too. Apparently ma and my aunt had gone somewhere looking for me. We all had snacks together and spoke for a while then even had dinner after which they left.

So like, my parents were the best part of the day. I could never forget this.

Day 13/90 October 1st 2023

Big dayy

This was mostly notes though. I was really tired and feeling lazy and only bathed in the evening. I also skipped lunch and snacks. Plus none of my friends were in the hostel so it felt kinda boring. Anyways thats it!!

#studyblr #ree #university #uni #90 dop #90 days of productivity #<33 #uniblr #studyspo #manu docta lura ree #ree manu streak #yeah #:)

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abluehappyface · 2 years

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syscourse & ☕️

This is going to be a long post, so bear with me.

The subject of syscourse is not something that I feel I'm well versed in as a singlet. Of course I can create and formulate opinions on the matter like most everyone else, but that doesn't mean I'm going to share them. As a singlet, I feel I don't have the jurisdiction to post anything system related, nor do I have the ability to engage in syscourse, as I don't meet the requirements necessary to be able to. This isn't me being difficult or stingy with my opinions by not offering them, this is me staying in my own lane. I will generate as many opinions as needed, but I likely will never publicly state them unprompted, unlike here, where I'm clearly being prompted to.

The main reason I don't want to engage in syscourse outside of being a singlet would be a lack of information. As of now I feel I'm simply spectating over those within the Plural community to try and gain as much information as I can without disrupting anyone, as it is not my place to do so. I'll maybe reblog an ask game tailored towards systems, but I'll make it very clear that I am not fit to participate. It's mostly me just silently passing information on about systems to the other systems that follow me (which is somewhere between 5-7 I think.) Once again, not going to interact where I don't feel I'm allowed to.

This is not a negative thing though. You, another set of mutuals, and so many others have helped me to learn about systems so much. Two years ago I literally knew nothing about systems, but today I'm learning so much so fast. I'd like to think I'm an ally to systems, though I cannot be certain, and really it's because of what I've been directly taught and what I've learned by sight within the Plural community. I've become a much more educated person because of my spectating.

Like with everything though, I can only speak for myself. What I do or don't know is and always will be a reflection of myself, and sometimes I'm going to get things wrong. I can't learn everything in one day, especially not when new information seems to be released frequently. I will try my best, but some things just won't be possible. This is no one's fault, but more of the cards we're dealt.

One thing that I'm absolutely NOT going to get into is anti-endo syscourse. By no means do I have enough information to make any sort of judgment when it comes to that. In all honesty, even if I did have enough information to debate in anti-endo syscourse, I don't think I'd want to. I'm not the kind of person to deal with online arguments anyway, especially not when I'm not a part of either community arguing. Online arguments also tend to be ill managed, just giving me one more reason to avoid them. If you're not going to be civil with your opinions, then I don't want to hear them.

I'm not trying to tell you or anyone else what to think. Quite the opposite actually. I'm telling you that I may not give you ANY headway into what I think, as I don't have the power to do that. I encourage everyone to think on their own, with as little output from outside sources as possible. If you should seek an outside source, take it as a suggestion, no a concrete answer.

Speaking of concrete answers, I don't have one for this question. It's not in my jurisdiction to give you one. Once again, as a singlet, I'm never going to have enough information to formulate something about something I may never experience. If anything I should be listening to what systems say and simply doing my best to understand it (and believe me I'm trying.) I'd like to give you my exact opinion word of word with absolutely no doubt about syscourse, but I can't do that right now. There's always going to be doubts in my mind about syscourse, and realistically, I don't plan on participating in any. Such is my nature as the "overthinking" singlet I am.

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anthonysstupiddailyblog · 9 days

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Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (788): Tue 14th May 2024

The last four days that I've been in work have been absolute scorchers and typically today and the following two days are going to be pissing rain. It wasn't all bad though as I was intending to stay indoors for most of the day anyway since Im intent on strengthening my neck so that I can finally return to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. The chiropractor sessions felt like they were working for a while but I think maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. I think the only way I'm going to be able to go back to BJJ is if I just start doing neck exercises like a fucking boss every single day to the point that the muscles around the neck are so strong that they can deal with greater amounts of trauma. I considered rejoining the gym to use the swimming pool but it closes at six o'clock on Saturdays and Sundays so two days out of seven I wouldn't be able to use it which is hardly worth the £40 per month membership fee. There was a lass on YouTube who did yoga specifically catered to people looking to strengthen their necks post surgery so I gave that a go. Half the positions I couldn't even get into in fact I struggled to sit in a relaxed position with my legs crossed the way she was doing. Normally when I try yoga I wit out the bit where you're on all floors with your arse in the air because it's so damn stressful (though I imagine would be a good position to assume if you were desperate to take a shit) but today I forced myself to do it so that I could say I'd covered all bases. I'll be honest it didn't feel like it had made much difference when I was finished but it's literally the first try so I'll see how my neck feels when I wake up in the morning. Short of showing up to BJJ in a neck brace to protect my neck I don't see how I'm ever going to start rolling safely again (hey if the neckbrace thing is allowed then instead of belts I could get a blue, purple, brown then black neck brace). I suppose that although I don't feel safe rolling yet I could start studying some jiu jitsu books or videos or techniques on YouTube so that I'll be well prepared if I ever feel like I can go back.

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ronin-deactivated19851026 · 6 months

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i had a jlpt test today and not gonna lie i was sitting there the whole time like...

kanji were my strongest point but i accidentally picked a wrong answer and i realized that only after i gave away the answer card lmao. the rest was half-assed as well because there were quite a lot of unfamiliar words, so i'm not entirely sure i understood what i read

i can't say i really care if i fail though, like... in a way i already got quite a lot from this experience. well, for starters, now i know what the test is like and where to go and what to do next time. then, like i said in on of my previous posts, i'm trying to brute force through my perfectionism by allowing myself to fail. i do more traditional art because it's harder to fix, and now, if i fail the test, i'll have to accept that this happens and that it's completely fine. i don't even need to retake it, i can aim for a higher category later if my skills are going to be good enough

though, if i manage to pass that would be fucking cool as hell, since i was attending courses twice a week only for 2,5 months lmao. also at least 5 people assumed it's been half a year though for some reason?? ... tbf for some reason i myself *feel* like it's been 6 months too, but nope, it's exactly 2,5 months. TIME IS FAKE WTF

anyway it was also nice to see my teacher taking the exam too, it helps internalize this idea that everyone is still growing and not on a perfect unobtainable level in whatever they do

another thing that i hope will go away is this feeling that i'm wasting time, no matter what i do. i'm trying to ignore it and just do shit regardless of how i feel

#ronin.txt

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sfmg · 1 year

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1/?

I am feeling very cringe and very much struggling in an engineering university that I am in right now, and I MUST get to a better one. For that I need to do well here and do a lot of extra stuff so I am starting the academia 100 day productivity type thing where I write a debrief at the end of each day to say how I only did 20% of what I was planning again, but not 100 days and just indefinitely, 100 days would be just a nice milestone, BUT ALSO WITH A TWIST!

I AM EXTREMELY DUMB AND IRRESPONSIBLE AS OF WRITING THIS

I am studying aerospace engineering snd I am very unfancy. I have seen a lot of posts starting this sort of thing and watched tons of videos. People have plans and stuff figured out, extremely effective schedules and stuff and I have been miserably failing on thay front. People have cute tidy tables, lots of gadgets to help them focus, going to libraries and reading stuff. I.... have none of that. My table is a mess, I have practically given up on using textbooks, my monthly money allowance is negative, the most fancy piece of technology are my laptop and my phone(birthday gift :3), I don't even need them to be fancy right now, our university library is unavailable to study at, my dorm apartment is the size of a dumpster and full of cockroaches, and I share it with 2 other people.

I think you got the idea. I am tired of blogs with soft tidy and often rich (by my standards) study experience. I have no grudge against people who do them however, that would be dumb, I just want more representation of the raw dirty grind where my routine environment is a STALKER-like experience.

So anyways my goals are simple so far: survive the midterms and maybe be french sometimes. For that I start off small: 3 hours of out of class studying per day at least, not a lot but if I start big I will quickly flop and be ashamed of myself. 3 hours studying whatever I see fit for the day is enough for now. I believe that some accountability to strangers on the internet will help me have a bar below which I do not procrastinate and eventually grow into a more responsible hard working person. A bit of a cringe way to do that I feel, but as an engineer, a man of science, I must first "fuck around and find out" to judge the method. I am glad to say I already did study today but relatively inconsequential. Finished my physics homework (fingers crossed I won't have to redo it), did some lineal algebra homework, didn't finish it though, went through some notes on statics, rewrote homework for theoretical mechanics, does doing a bit of Duolingo counts as studying?

How the uni and dorm look like

Some background on me if you for some reason want to know how am I in aerospace engineering while being unresponsible and why I need to get to a better uni. I pretty much failed most of my school but at the last 2 years started getting good, not good enough to be accepted to Purdue or UIUC as I started getting ambitious too late. Failed to go to a community college because of unfortunate political decisions made by the assholes running my country. Now I am enrolled in the (supposedly) best engineering university of Russia and have to make my escape, because I really don't want to study engineering here. Living? We'll see in like 10 years, maybe I'll come back. I haven't seen people in a situation similar to mine but if you are one of them then I will be glad to serve as an inspiration.

I may be dumb and have severe problems with socialisation and organisation. But I know one thing about myself: I never give up and neither should you

#academia #university #studying #academics #100 days of productivity

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katstratfordfanclub · 1 year

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April 17, 2023

Dear Tumblr,

It's been a minute. I've had to move all of my personal shit to a new side blog because clar (formally jg) found my og blog and kinda confronted me about it lol. A lot has happened recently, allow me to catch you up.

So, the clar situation has reached new heights. The last time I posted about it, was a few months ago after the PBI when he invited me to join him for dinner with some of his friends. I declined, something I regret now, but he ended up hugging me before we went different ways. That was the last time I saw him until he came back for spring break.

A few days before Valentine's day, I posted a silly little meme on my close friends' story on Instagram that said something along the lines of 'are you busy feb 14?' or something like that because I am a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic and I simply love love. I love the idea of having someone that I can devote my time to show how much I care for them. Anyway, he swiped up and said hi. This sparked us just talking for a while about life and making jokes about starting a casino in our town this summer. That was that. I continued to post silly little love-related things on my story along with other memes and jokes and he continued to interact with them.

Im friends with his sister and so i had heard that he was back in town in passing from her. I didn't really know what that meant for me at the time though. I knew I had feelings for him and had been hyping myself up in an attempt to make a move on him for months, but now that he was back, I wasn't sure what to do. I talk a lot of big game but as soon as something personal comes up that may change everything, I freeze.

The first time I saw him again was at scholar bowl practice. The room was packed and I was the last to walk in so I had to pull up a chair next to my sister's friend. He just so happened to be right across the horseshoe. I really don't think we talked at all that day tbh. I didn't know what to say and he was constantly surrounded by his friends from back home. I couldn't have said anything without someone sniffing out that I was acting weird. The next day he came to drama club practice. We actually talked then. Not about anything major, just catching up with each other on our lives and making conversation like friends that hadn't seen each other in a while. He did get really close to me though. Making efforts to stand next to me even if we weren't necessarily talking at the time. When practice was over I went on to scholar bowl and we said our goodbyes. I wasn't sure when I would see him again but I had hoped that he would come to another practice either scholar bowl or theatre.

He came back a few days later and spent the whole day with the band teacher, assisting in lessons and giving his insight as a college player. He also came into drama that day and we chatted more, he even put his hat back on my head like he had at the PBI. When the day ended I drove him and his sister home in silence. His sister had made him sit in the back of my car, making conversation difficult between us, not that I could have said anything too, interesting (?), to him because of the whole sister-in-the-car thing. When we arrived, his sister thanked me and got out while he lingered. I didn't say anything because frankly, I didn't know what to say. Finally, he simply said something along the lines of 'I guess I'll see you at graduation?' to which I simply replied that he would. I would be graduating after all and Im not passing up the opportunity to walk the stage. Then he got out because she was just standing by the door, waiting for him.

That was that. or so I thought.

I went home that day and scream-cried all the way to the gym where I ran for a while and then finally completed a very focused and emotional lifting session.

A few days later it was time for my scholar bowl team to go to state. All was good and well about that. It's not the focus of today's post. Anyway, we had just gone through the awards ceremony and gotten back on the bus when I checked Instagram. He had posted a story and I clicked. It was an exact replica of a meme I had posted on my close friend's story four days prior about wanting a bf who always had a Wikipedia article pulled up on his third monitor, specifically the gulf war. Guess what he had on his third monitor? The gulf war Wikipedia page. I was in complete shock. The guy that I had been hinting about having feelings for had possibly dropped a hint back. I was going through it tbh.

Now something about me recently is that I have finally realized that I will never have to see anybody from my high school again unless I choose to after I graduate. This has sent me into a spiral of not taking anyone's shit and playing some more risky moves.

I swiped up. 'the gulf war huh,' i asked. I asked him if he learned anything interesting. He quickly replied that he really didn't remember because it was almost three am when he took the picture. I went along with it. I mean it could have been a total coincidence. He said that he needed to work on some homework. I let him, a little embarrassed about getting so worked up over something that I had then thought to be a coincidence.

A few days passed and he texted me asking if I wanted to talk after drama club via a call because he had gone back to school. I of course said yes. In my mind, this could either go really good or really bad. The good being, he's into me too and all the seemingly unnoticed flirting had not gone to waste. The bad possibility being, he knows that I'm into him and is uncomfortable with it. I went the whole day stressing about it but also trying to not completely freak out. I'm a believer that whatever happens, happens and that everything happens for a reason. Whatever happens on the phone is just how the universe wanted it to turn out.

The time comes. I message him. He replies. We call. He very bluntly asked me if all the posts on my story where about him. I get embarrassed and ask, "what if they where?" He took a minute to say anything and I got worried that I had said the wrong thing so I back tracked. "Being completely blunt, yes they where about you. I've had a thing for you for a while now." I could tell he was really nervous. His voice was shaking really bad and he kept whispering to himself. If I wasn't so caught up in not messing it up I would have been caught up in how cute it was tbh. He said that he thought that he had began to feel the same way for me. We talked for hours that night. Getting to know each other better and what that meant for us.

We are continuing to talk regularly. I cant wait to see where this goes. Expect more blog posts. There are some things about this that, as much as I hate to say it, I am a bit insecure about so ill be using this blog for as much venting as I do journaling the progress we make.

Kat out <3

#clar #personal journal #digital diary #crush #situationship #what are we????#crushcore #crush culture #feel free to ignore

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neutralgray · 1 year

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Plane's Plucky 90's Vibes and Platitudes

So I like to sometimes overwork my nerdy little brain analyzing movies I watch. I am by no means a "movie critic" or even in the movie critic scene, but it's fun to think about sometimes. The reason I say this is because I have some thoughts on "Plane" I wanted to share, but there's a chance for people reading in the media critical crowd, my thoughts likely won't be anything new. As a heads up, these thoughts are largely U.S.-centric.

Anyway. I saw "Plane" today with a couple friends. And I enjoyed it! It was a fun simplistic action movie that had enough tension to keep you watching. It's not a movie I feel I'll ever "need" to watch again, but while I was there, I did enjoy the experience of watching it.

I knew little about the movie going in, other than the trailer synopsis, but in multiple reviews, I saw one repeating praise of the film: it felt like a throwback to late 80's/90's action films. I thought that was interesting, as it makes you wonder what "defines" that period of movies.

As I watched "Plane" I found myself agreeing with that sentiment, that it felt like a movie from the 90's. And as I watched, I tried to dissect why it felt that way. Then it clicked for me.

"Plane," like a lot of decades old action flicks, has this optimistic and earnest trust of the "systems" in place. The pilot is the good guy, the ex-military man is the good guy, the soldiers for hire are good guys, and even the corporate airline executives are good guys as they try to help the situation from their air conditioned office. This movie, and the movies that it was modeled after, portrays morality as intrinsic to these authority figures--everyone wants what is best except the practically faceless and vague brown skinned bad guys. Note, race as an aspect of a movie's invisible moral dynamics is not what this post is about, as that is a much larger discussion and not what I wanted to talk about, though it may be worth noting for consideration.

I just thought that it was interesting that looking back at movies of the decade: Air Force One, Independence Day, G.I. Jane, etc.; the figures lined up with authority are always these vaguely patriotic good guys that you want to trust. If any of the government or whatever "authority" is presented to you end up being "bad," it's usually only splinter factions or individual rogue agents that don't represent the system at large. The message is that the system works, and it works because the system of authority has capable men and women defending the rights and comforts of the people entrusted under them. The people you're told are on your side are genuinely on your side. It's an optimism that's so naive it makes you wonder if it's supposed to border on propaganda when you look back at them all.

Now don't get me wrong. As I said, I enjoyed watching the movie as a piece of media meant to entertain as it WAS entertaining. You're not good or bad for liking or disliking it. I just think it's an interesting thing to note, especially when compared to the general cynicism that's held by the U.S. public towards the government and our authority figures now-a-days.

We have: shady politicians coasting off money that's been "donated" to them as they generate rage bait to push themselves into the cultural zeitgeist, police and the statistical evidence of racial bias on practically all aspects of criminal law, hospitals and insurance driven so deeply by profit that people with debilitating health conditions fear getting check-ups meant to ensure their well being because they can't afford to be put in debt.

There are genuine reasons to be angry at the systems at play in the real world. There's a reason people are cynical, and bitter, and tired. We constantly see that when the system works passively, it allows violence to come into contact with every facet of our lives. We can taste the blood in our mouths as we work to fund our continued existence every day, because "the cost of living" is a real thing and not some dystopian fictional concept. But in a movie like "Plane" the system is shown being active-- working towards a good end for people in an unfortunate circumstance.

It makes me wish that old school 90's action movie optimism really was tried-and-true, because it seems like a such a nice escapist fantasy to be able to feel like the country and the people over you really do care about your life.

Wouldn't that be nice?

#Plane #Plane movie #Movies #Grey's Thoughts #Movie Analysis #Film Analysis #Media critical #Movie criticism

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deliahroseland · 2 years

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Writing Contests | An Update / Rant

I'm not sure whether to call this a rant, but rather just babbling through my emotions at the moment. I'm also not sure whether this is because I was an incredibly happy drunk last night and am just incredibly emotional in the come-down from that.

I've recently entered a writing contest which is more towards original characters than fanfiction. Yesterday was the deadline, but I left it until the last minute because I had very little inspiration for the prompt and a number of things got in the way after work through the week. I could feel time ticking away until I finally handed it in and could say, 'Yeah, it's good enough.' I think I submitted it three hours before the deadline, but I had to get the piece down from 900 words originally to 700 words which took extra time.

Anyway, I'm a part of the judging channel, so I can see what the judges say about my work. I did this before during another contest and was always happy with the results—basically flying colours and I came first a few times. It always made me smile and reaffirm my writing sensibilities. To be fair, I was only a part of the judging channel due to being a judge myself for another event taking place.

However, I decided today to take a look at what my score might be for the short piece. Let's just say it wasn't good and I was kind of disappointed with it—and myself. That is after I got over my initial embarrassment and anger that normally accompanies reading a bad review for the first time.

I keep telling myself that it's not even my best work. I can definitely do better than what I wrote, but I didn't allow myself enough time throughout the week to complete it. It's also not exactly how I would have written the scene if I was allowed a larger word count. Though, I know a lot of what is in the judge's review is based on what is essentially my fault. However, I cannot beat the feeling that maybe I'm just not as good of a writer as I think I am or that I've lost my charm with romance as a primary theme rather than what I normally write—fantasy-romance, fanfiction-romance, historical-romance, etc.

I don't know, but I know I'm going to try and pick myself up from the ground and try to write something better for the next prompt for the event. I just feel that when judges have a specific taste in writing and style, etc. how do I make the scene likeable for them? I could just keep going the way I am, but I think I need some new tactics to go about this one. Maybe some research as well to help with it before writing. I have a general idea, but I'm now worried that the judges aren't going to like what I write or that the current entry will dissuade them from liking the next chapter I write for the next prompt. At least I have the day to manage my thoughts and try to come up with a new plan before writing, though I am also assessing the way I write relationships in my other stories and what elements I like about them.

Anyway, I guess this is just what happens when you're a writer. I might make another post updating you guys on the progress of this week's prompt and how I felt I did with it. I don't think I will be looking in the judges' channel anytime soon to peak at my scores for this writing challenge. I feel like I'll just be disappointed each time.

On a brighter note, I think my first chapter for the prompt was much better and I enjoyed it more than writing this one. I feel that I had more of an idea of what I wanted to do for that one, whereas for the one I've just done I had a basic idea but the execution was semi-poor—I know that I have written worse than it, so I'm not going to go with it being completely poor.

#writing #writing contest #update #rant tag #rant post #emotions

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helloalycia · 3 years

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the new recruit [six] //wanda maximoff

summary: the aftermath of your mission with Wanda changed the dynamic between you, and you're still trying to figure out if it's for the best or not.

warning/s: mentions of suicide, terrorism and death.

author's note: first day in my new job today so super exhausted but didn’t wanna leave you guys hanging. hope you like where this is going! also, side note: Y/H/T = your hometown

Returning to the compound after Wanda and I's mission was stranger than I expected. I hadn't realised how attached I'd grown to our stupid tiny apartment and little routine we'd created, even if it was only for five and a half days.

I also didn't realise how much my feelings for the Sokovian would change just from spending time with her within close proximity. Though, I tried not to dwell too much on that last fact since admitting what I definitely didn't want to would only make things complicated. Much more complicated.

So, I revelled in our friendship instead.

When Wanda and I got back, it was about a week in when I was already getting post-mission depression and decided to look through all of the photos we took on my phone. It brought a smile to my lips immediately, seeing how much fun she was having and how excited she was to see all of the sights. And that's when I got the idea to do what I did.

Wanda had mentioned how she had sadly lost all of her family photos when her home was destroyed back in Sokovia, the physical ones that you can flick through and smile at without having to go through a phone or laptop. And that idea, though not my initial one when it came to browsing through photos, was a nice thought. So, why not do it for her with these?

Because I'm too gay for my own good and definitely very stupid, I went to get all of the photos on my phone printed and had plans to put them in a photo album to give to her. Hopefully she'd appreciate it and I wasn't being too weird. I mean, they were just photos and she'd like it, right? God, I hoped so.

One afternoon, I'd just finished collecting the rest of my prints from a store in the city and also bought the album to put it in when I was walking back to my room to sort it out. Of course it was just my luck to bump into Tony in the hallway outside my room and so I immediately tried not to draw attention to the pack of photos being held to my chest.

"There you are!" he exclaimed upon seeing me. "I've been looking for you everywhere! Where have you been?"

I swallowed hard and pointed a finger over my shoulder. "Oh, y'know. Just... errands."

He pulled a face at that. "I have employees for this very reason. Use them." I rolled my eyes and he continued, "Anyway, I wanted your opinion on my new suit. I've asked almost everyone and you're next."

I quirked a brow. "Don't you, like, pay people to love everything you do?"

He narrowed his eyes with no humour present. "Hilarious."

I smiled to myself, proud of my little joke. "Yeah, I thought so, too."

He rolled his eyes and looked to me impatiently. "Well? Is that okay? Meet me in my–"

"Your study, okay, I got it," I finished for him, before getting impatient myself. "I'll drop by later. I gotta go right now."

He squinted his eyes with suspicion, deciphering my sudden impatience, then his gaze fell to my arms. "What's that?"

I straightened up and shook my head casually. "Nothing, just some photos."

"Photos of what? Let me see."

I shook my head nonchalantly, moving away when he tried to grab them. "I'm allowed privacy, aren't I? Don't worry, it's none of your concern."

He hummed in response, not saying anything, so I took that as my chance to walk past him and to my room. But as I stepped forward, he suddenly made a move to grab the photos, making me drop my new photo album on the floor.

"Tony!" I shouted with disbelief, before moving to pick up the photo album and attempting to get my photos back.

He was already flicking through them, having removed the elastic band and grinning as he went through each one.

"Oh my god, you went sightseeing with the witch?!" he asked with surprise.

I stopped trying to get them off him, realising it was too late since he already knew our secret now.

"Yes," I admitted nervously. "Just please don't tell Steve."

He laughed and shook his head. "I won't. But why are you printing them and putting them in that old thing?"

I hugged my photo album tightly when he motioned to it.

"This old thing is new," I defended my purchase. "And no reason."

He paused, glancing at me with knowing eyes. I tried to stand my ground, having been trained in veiling what I was truly feeling, but I must have been in too deep because his eyes widened with a revelation.

"Oh my god, you did this for Wanda."

When I didn't reply, he laughed and slapped me on the shoulder, making me frown with discomfort. Out of all the people to know this, Tony was the last I wanted.

"You like her, is that it?" he asked, continuing to look through the photos. "You really think printing some photos you took is gonna show her that? C'mon, Y/L/N."

I clenched my jaw, annoyed at his unwanted opinions but also feeling a little judged at his words. "I never said I liked her."

He smirked. "Sure you didn't. But it doesn't look like that... you're seriously putting in all this effort for her? Bit lame, isn't it? What's she gonna do with a photo album? Look through it once and then lose it? C'mon."

Well, shit. Was he right? Was this actually the dumbest thing I could think of? Oh, God...

"But never mind my opinion," he started, and I was only half listening because I was still revelling in self-pity. "Let's ask the witch herself."

Again, I wasn't really listening until he suddenly started to shout Wanda's name down the hall, knowing her room was only at the end. My eyes widened and I immediately tried to get the photos out of his hands.

"Shut up, Tony!" I shouted, going to grab them, but he pushed me out the way and continued to yell for Wanda.

Panicking, I tried to slap him to shut him up, but he dodged and my hand hit the stack of photos in his hand, flinging them across the hall and to the floor in a giant mess. I glared at Tony before racing to pick them all up before anybody could see them. It was very unfortunate when Wanda finally emerged from her room and approached us, confusion written all over her expression.

"What's up?" she asked, eyes falling down to me.

I managed to scoop up the last few photographs before standing up, suddenly really embarrassed at the fact she'd almost seen them. And then Tony's words rang in my head and I felt like an idiot.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, eyebrows furrowing together with concern.

I turned to look at Tony, who was hiding a smile and attempting to be apologetic.

"Y/N?" Wanda asked again, resting a hand on my shoulder. "Did Tony do something?"

"Nothing, forget it," I mumbled, before leaving the scene and fleeing to my room without giving either of them reason to continue the conversation.

Humiliation was an understatement. I felt dumb, stupid, moronic and any other synonym one could think of. Photos? Seriously? What would that achieve?

"Stupid Tony," I muttered harshly as I threw the photos and album in the bin by my door.

I found the framed photo of Wanda and I that I'd already printed and threw that away, too. This whole thing was dumb. And I was adamant on sulking in my bed until I felt better.

—

It was a few nights after that incident when Wanda confronted me about it.

I'd hoped she would have forgotten as she hadn't brought it up since and neither had I, instead deciding to just ignore Tony otherwise I'd probably end up strangling him. So, when I was sulking in bed and trying to figure out if I wanted to watch TV or not, a knock sounded against my door. It was strange since it was pretty late, but I allowed it.

"Come in," I called halfheartedly whilst hugging my cushion and staring at the wall.

"Hey, it's me," Wanda's voice said as she opened the door. I didn't bother turning around as she continued, "I hope now isn't a bad time... I wanted to–"

She paused suddenly and curiosity got the better of me, so I turned around in bed and saw that she was looking in my bin with a saddened expression. Remembering what was in there, I panicked.

"Er, what are you doing?" I asked with restrained nervousness.

She bent down and pulled out the photos and album before standing up and looking to me with a hurt expression. "You threw them away?"

I sat up awkwardly, feeling both confused and embarrassed. "What– how did you know about that?"

She pursed her lips, glancing down at them again. "I saw them the other day when you dropped them."

Looking down uncomfortably, I nodded. "Oh."

"I pretended not to see because I thought it was a surprise and I didn't want to spoil it," she explained, and it didn't help that she sounded really cute right now with her accent making more of a show. Goddamn pretty girls and their cute voices.

"Yeah, it was going to be," I said, avoiding her eyes and forcing a small smile, "but I realised it was kind of stupid and changed my mind."

She set the photos down on my desk and sat beside me on the bed. "It's not stupid."

I gave her an are you serious right now? look. "It kind of is, Wanda. What exactly would you do with them?"

She smiled a little at my words. "Keep them?"

I breathed out through my nose and looked away, hoping she wasn't pitying me right now. Because that would be even worse than getting found out in front of her with Tony.

"I love it," she said gently. "It's the most thoughtful thing anybody's ever done for me since... well, since I lost my family."

Swallowing the awkwardness down, I risked glancing her way and saw she was already watching me with bright blue eyes, instantly making me nervous. I felt even more like an idiot – how was the person who I was once happy to glue to her chair now capable of rendering me into a speechless, awkward fool?

"It's not stupid?" I asked, expecting her to turn around and say otherwise.

But she didn't. She merely shook her head and smiled softly. "No. Definitely not stupid."

I nodded, unable to stop a smile from tugging at my lips as I looked away. "Well, in that case... d'you wanna maybe pretend you didn't see it so I can finish putting everything together and give it to you properly?"

A quiet laugh flew from her lips as she nodded. "Agreed."

Sighing with relief, I scratched the back of my head and suddenly realised she came in here for a reason. Turning to face her, I rose an eyebrow.

"You wanted to ask me something or tell me something," I reminded her. "What's up?"

Realisation crossed her expression as she nodded, instantly losing her smile. "Right... it's stupid. But I just– everybody's worried about Rumlow and what's happening next and, well, their thoughts are really loud. I can't really sleep..."

I frowned, feeling bad and being unable to imagine how frustrating that must have been for her. She wasn't wrong in the sense that everyone was on edge since our last mission. I knew Steve, Sam and Natasha had a particular vendetta against Rumlow because of their experience with him over a year ago, and now that they had a rough idea of where he'd be in three months, they were stricter than usual. Thoughts must have definitely been too loud for Wanda to cope with.

"Well... wanna watch TV with me?" I offered with a small smile. "I'm always down to stay up for a while."

As if this was exactly what she wanted to hear, she nodded and smiled adorably. I motioned for her to follow me and the two of us got under the duvet as I turned on the TV at the end of the bed. She pulled the duvet close to her chin and leaned on the many pillows behind her, sinking in without concern. I smiled to myself before doing the same, flicking through the channels and deciding on Howl's Moving Castle which was halfway through playing. I waited on complaint from Wanda, but she didn't say anything, so I left it on.

It was quiet as we watched, myself getting lost in the film and trying not to overthink how close Wanda was to me. If you forgot about the fact that we were in the compound and not spying on a scientist in the middle of Paris, it was almost like we were back on mission. And I didn't mind one bit.

"That looks so pretty," Wanda commented quietly, referring to the field of flowers on the TV.

I hummed in agreement. "Yeah, it really does."

She was quiet, and I thought she'd finished, but then she spoke up, barely above a whisper. "Before Sokovia was a warzone, it used to have the prettiest flower fields I'd ever seen. In photos obviously, but they always looked so beautiful. Kind of like that."

"You'd love Y/H/T then," I told her with a nostalgic smile. "It had some lovely gardens and flower fields like that."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely," I said with a nod of certainty.

We were both looking at the TV, but it was merely background noise as I spoke to her with a comforting feeling in my chest.

"Spring was the best time to visit," I recalled. "The flowers were coming in and it was beautiful. Full of colours, like a giant bouquet just for you. There were these cute bees flying around and the sun would shine down and it was clear blue skies and–" I sighed contently, shaking my head. "Descriptions aren't enough. It's not the same unless you see it for yourself in person."

She chuckled a little. "It sounds wonderful. I wish I could."

I thought about it, the idea of Wanda seeing it for herself warming my heart. And then I remembered she had powers that gave her access to people's minds.

"You can get into people's memories with your powers, right?" I asked curiously.

She sounded confused as she said, "Yeah, but–"

I sat up with excitement, turning to look at her. "So you can see what I'm talking about! You just have to go in here–" I knocked on my head, "–and take a look for yourself."

She pushed herself into a sitting position, nervous frown on her lips. "Y/N, I'm not so sure about that. I don't like doing that unless I have to. It feels really intrusive."

I gave her a knowing look. "It's not intrusive if I'm giving permission, right?"

She scrunched her nose adorably, still unsure. Now that I thought about it, letting the girl I had a crush on roam about in my mind probably wasn't the best idea. But I trusted her to only look at what I wanted to show her and if it made her happy, even for a moment, I wanted to do it.

"C'mon, you'll love it," I said with an encouraging smile, tapping her knee.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she thought about it. Finally, she sighed. "Okay, I guess. Just tell me if something hurts or goes wrong or–"

"I trust you," I reassured her, finding her hand and squeezing it. "Now. I'm ready. Do whatever it is that you do."

She rolled her eyes playfully, cheeks turning pink, probably from the pressure, before she sat directly opposite me. Raising her hands, she rested her fingers on my temples and looked me in the eyes. Okay, maybe this was a little more intimidating than I thought.

"Close your eyes," she instructed gently. "Focus on the memory you want me to see."

I nodded and did as she said, trying to picture the field of flowers as I'd last seen it many years ago. I was by myself, standing in the grass with the flowers tickling my legs as they grew up to my waist. The sun was hot, I could almost feel the heat even in this dreamlike state, and shone down on me, making me squint to see. It smelt like home, just as I remembered it, and I almost didn't want to leave.

Whether Wanda could see or not, I wasn't sure. It didn't feel as intrusive as she'd made it out to be – it didn't even feel like anybody was with me at all now that I thought about – and I assumed it was because I'd openly let her in rather than her having to pry her way through.

Looking around one last time, I appreciated the view and the familiar calm it brought upon me. My hands brushed past the flowers – reds, violets, blues, yellows – and I smiled to myself, glad to have visited again, even if it was just a memory.

When I was done, I opened my eyes and was instantly met with Wanda's, turning from red and back to blue-green. She lowered her fingers and I tried to ignore the way my heart rate sped up a little at her sudden closeness.

"How did you like it?" I asked, unsure if she'd even seen it.

She cracked a smile, nodding gently. "It was just like you said it would be."

I pressed my lips together, acutely aware of her knees touching mine and the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she took breaths. She was so close that I could smell the remnants of the perfume she'd worn that day – a much better smell than the one I'd just experienced in my memory. It was definitely the wrong time, but my eyes drifted down her face, past her nose and to her lips.

Perfectly shaped, full and glossy from her lip balm. Yep, definitely should look away. But I couldn't, and a thought that had never crossed my mind before suddenly did.

I really wanted to know what it felt like to kiss her.

And she didn't seem to move away, despite our ever-growing closeness. Was she expecting me to? I couldn't tell. And I definitely didn't want to project my feelings onto her and ruin whatever friendship we had. So, with that unexpected realisation, I cleared my throat and moved back subtly, hiding my nerves with a casual smile.

"Maybe we can take an actual holiday someday," I said, getting back under the duvet to face the TV. "Maybe I could go home and take you with me. Show you the field in person."

I heard her sigh quietly, making me nervous, but she followed suit and got comfortable under the duvet again.

"I'd like that," she agreed softly.

Certain that my heart was back to its regular pace, I relaxed under the covers and focused back on the TV. "I'm sure we can plan something eventually. Maybe when all of this Rumlow business calms down."

I felt her nod beside me as she hummed in agreement, and I was glad I was out of any compromising situations with her. The last thing I needed was to think about kissing her.

But I'd be lying if I said it was gone from my mind after that moment.

—

As time got closer to the next mission which involved a handful of the Avengers going to Lagos, Nigeria to stop Rumlow from whatever he was planning, things around the compound got tenser.

I understood that it was a dangerous situation and Rumlow was a high-level target, but it was no excuse to overwork everyone, including me who wasn't even set to go on the mission. But I could handle it. What I couldn't handle was seeing Wanda deteriorate from each time I saw her to the next.

We were sat in the kitchen eating lunch together, but Wanda was leaning into the palm of her hand and her eyes were barely open. I frowned, noticing how exhausted she was looking as of late. If I didn't see her sleeping on some random piece of furniture, she was training with Steve or Nat. I couldn't actually remember the last time I'd seen her take a break.

"Wanda...?" I prompted, touching her foot with mine under the table to get her attention. "You were saying something about your powers?"

She sighed and rubbed her eyes before leaning back into her seat. "Right, yeah, sorry. I was saying how Nat has been teaching me how to manage my emotions better because my powers are linked to them. I'm getting the handle on it, but sometimes I freak out and it's not good."

My expression softened as I noticed the pressure she was putting on herself. It was obvious in her self-deprecating tone of voice.

"You'll get the hang of it, I'm sure," I said with certainty.

She winced, shaking her head. "I'm not so sure. We've been at it for a while and all it takes is one thing and I just– I snap. I could seriously hurt someone and that isn't..." She frowned, avoiding my eyes. "That isn't what I want."

"You're not going to hurt anyone, Wanda," I said, trying to find her eyes but she was focused on her untouched plate of food. "I think... I think Nat and Steve are overworking you because they want you to be okay when the time comes. But you should talk to them if it's too much, which it clearly is."

Wanda sighed, leaning into her palm and massaging her head slightly. I knew she was listening, but now clearly wasn't the time to be piling on top of her orders.

"Forget about that for now," I changed the subject, before nodding to her plate. "Try to eat."

"I'm too tired," she mumbled with her eyes closed.

"I know, but you need to have something," I said in an urgent tone. "Please, Wanda."

Reluctantly, she opened one eye and glanced at me. Probably seeing how concerned I was, she gave in and nodded before beginning to pick up her sandwich.

"Definitely tell them to take it easy on you," I said as I watched her take a small bite. "It's what's best for your health."

She hummed, finishing chewing her sandwich, and said, "I will. Thanks."

I nodded, digging into my own sandwich, but my concern never wavered. Overworking us all wouldn't get Steve and Natasha anyway. I wish they'd see that.

—

The Lagos mission approached a lot sooner than anyone wanted. With Wanda, Natasha, Steve and Sam going on it, I was left behind and kind of glad that I didn't have to suit up. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to help, but not with how much pressure Steve was putting on this whole thing.

Unfortunately, that did make me nervous to how Wanda would take things. She'd been training nonstop since we came back from our own mission three months ago, and even before that she was extremely capable so I had no doubts she couldn't handle herself. But all of the pressure couldn't have been easy and I was hoping she'd be able to handle it.

Just once I'd have liked to be proven correct.

It didn't take long for the failure of the mission to be aired on pretty much every news programme on TV. According to the headlines, the Avengers had made a mess of Lagos, particularly when Wanda attempted to contain an explosion that only ended up destroying a nearby building and killing several innocents. It was a terrible sight, as was the look of disbelief on Wanda's face when she'd realised what she'd done. I couldn't help but feel bad for everyone – all of the news anchors were blaming Wanda, calling her out as too young, too powerful, too dangerous. But it wasn't her fault.

When they all returned, they looked battered and bruised and the worst I'd seen them in a long time. The only one to explain what the hell happened back there was Sam. Despite being shaken up, he caught me up and I had no doubts he'd done the same with the others.

Turns out Rumlow was working alone and had planned this whole thing from the start. He'd known since three months ago, sewing the seeds that led us to believe he'd be in Lagos looking for a bioweapon when, in fact, he was just looking to get his revenge on the Avengers. Him committing suicide and killing innocents in the process was all he'd wanted – a final act for a cowardly terrorist. Now, everybody was shaken up and peeved, for valid reason.

After being caught up with the mission, I reluctantly brought up the topic of Wanda, hoping to get some insight to how she was feeling. Though it didn't take a genius to know.

"She's not doing too great, Y/N," Sam said regretfully. "It was hard on her. And the news isn't helping."

I frowned. "Yeah, I saw..."

"You should check on her, but be careful," he advised. "She's still shaken up about it."

"Thanks." I nodded at him one final time before leaving.

Since they'd just gotten back, I thought it would be best to give her a few hours before bombarding her with my presence. The hours felt like forever as my worry for the Sokovian only grew stronger with each passing second. Finally, when I deemed it acceptable, I headed to her room to see how she was.

"I'm not in the mood," her voice answered from her side of the door when I knocked.

Ignoring her, I let myself in and tried not to react under her harsh glare. Closing the door behind me, I lingered by her dresser as she sat on the bed and watched me.

"I said I'm not in the mood," she repeated lowly.

"I know," I said, before taking a leap and saying, "I heard what happened."

To my surprise, she stood up instantly, clenching her fists to contain her anger. "Really? Did you see it on the news like everyone else did?"

Realising she was snappy, I decided to take it slow and not get offended. "I'm sorry that it happened like that, Wanda. I really am. But it's not your–"

"Don't say it," she interrupted quickly, flinching at my unspoken words. "It is my fault. Those people, they... they died because of me. Because I didn't practice with my powers enough and I– I lost control and– and look what happened?!"

Her eyes were teary as she shouted, her anger only acting as a barrier for how guilty she felt. But the guilt was plastered all over her face now, eating away at her and leaving no room for logic.

I swallowed hard. "That's not on you. You couldn't have known."

Her eyes darted to mine, a mixture of frustration and hurt in them. "You're the one who told me to take it easy with training."

It took me a moment to realise what she was implying, and that's when I raised my brows with surprise.

"Surely you can't blame this on me," I said defensively.

She clenched her jaw. "No. But I shouldn't have listened to you. If I had kept working hard, this wouldn't have happened and those people wouldn't have–" She stopped, lips trembling as she looked the other way. "They wouldn't have died..."

I wanted to tell her that she couldn't have prevented the inevitable. That this wasn't on her, it was merely an accident. That overworking herself with training or not wouldn't have made a difference because she tried her best and it was all a horrible mistake.

But as soon as I stepped forward to try and help, she raised her hand and a red wisp of energy opened the door behind me.

"Just get out," she muttered, still not looking my way.

"Wanda, please–"

"I said get out," she repeated firmly, her accent thicker than ever as she held in her anger.

Knowing it was too soon to make any attempt at talking with her, I nodded reluctantly and turned to leave.

In hindsight, it was probably stupid of me to talk to Wanda first thing when she came back from her mission. So, I gave her some space and focused on doing the best job I could as an Avenger. Technically there were no immediate missions scheduled, so my days consisted of training, working out and trying not to get in the way of the underlying tension between everyone as an aftermath of the mission.

The only times I saw Wanda were when we'd occasionally bump into each other in communal areas or sometimes in training. But even then, it was barely a conversation as she was clearly still beating herself up about the whole incident in Lagos.

As much as I wanted to be of some help, I didn't want to piss her off any further, so I kept my distance. It was the better choice, since she came to me when she was ready. It was about a week after the mission when she found me in the gym.

I was running on the treadmill when I saw her motioning for me to take my earphones out. Being the eager beaver I was, I instantly listened and slowed down to an eventual stop before removing my earphones and wiping the sweat from my face with my sweat towel.

"Hey, is everything okay?" I asked with furrowed brows, stepping off the machine and catching my breath.

She nodded, stood uncomfortably still and rubbing her arm. "Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your workout."

I shook my head. "It's okay, I can get back to it. What's wrong?"

She looked up, meeting my eyes with apologetic ones. "I just– I wanted to apologise for the other day. Well it was a week ago now, but yeah. I shouldn't have snapped at you after the mission."

Up until now, I assumed we wouldn't talk about it, since it was clearly a moment of weakness for her and I knew she didn't mean it. So, I was definitely surprised.

"It's okay, don't worry about it," I assured her. "It was tough what happened and I shouldn't have got in your face like that."

"You don't need to apologise for anything," she said with a dry smile. "I shouldn't have snapped. End of. You were just trying to help... I'm just not in the best place right now. Sorry."

I nodded, still concerned but trying to dial it down for her sake. "Well, I've got your back if you need me for anything, remember? No matter what."

A small but appreciative smile appeared on her lips in response. Then her eyes fell to my wrist as I wiped my face and her smile widened.

"You're wearing the bracelet," she noticed, before raising her own wrist and showing me her matching one. "You're committed, I'll give you that."

I let out a small laugh. "Yeah, well, I've never been given a friendship bracelet before so I'll take it."

It was her turn to laugh and the sound warmed my heart. It had been a while since I'd heard it because of all the stress and pressure she'd faced lately; it was definitely worth bringing out again.

"Anyway, I'll leave you to it," she said, her smile lessening but eyes still glowing. "Thanks again."

"Anytime," I said with a nod, before watching her leave.

I could only hope things could better from here, but oh, how wrong I was.

#marvel #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff x reader #marvel imagine #wanda maximoff x you #mcu #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch

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bringingglory · 3 years

Text

@eerna oh my god acshdgagaahhdvsahsv I never expected you to see my post, so I won't lie, I feel like super embarrassed acsgsga

anyway! not gonna lie, this wip has been sitting in my drafts for months now because I wanted to see if I could plan stuff but then I got stuck because Details are hard to figure out BUT I did write out a few scenes, so I'll put them below the cut because they're kind of long. the first one is the "opening" of the fic and the second one is a sort of reimagining of the Silent Princess memory. i have a few other scenes sort of scribbled out, but these are the most "polished" of the stuff i've written alsdkfjasdfk

the opening lol

Link wakes to a faint buzzing in his ear that sends little darts of pain shooting through his skull. He waits for it to end, and when it doesn’t he groans and rolls over, smacking the space around him to find whatever was making that noise and make it shut up. He can’t fathom why his brain is rolling through his skull like that and why there’s an intense pressure behind his eyes, but when he rolls onto his side, he has to press a hand to his abdomen to settle whatever was sloshing around inside his stomach.

Ah. He’s hungover.

Link peels open his eyes and the light sends a fresh wave of pain ricocheting through his skull. He blinks once, twice, and then forces his eyes open to find a phone the size vibrating against the ground a few inches away from his hand.

Link groans and pushes himself up to a sitting position before grabbing the phone and dismissing the alarm. When the phone falls silent in his hands, he finally looks around and tries to assess the situation.

He’s sitting in a bathtub, the porcelain slightly damp from what he hopes is just water. His shirt smells vaguely of cheap vodka and he still can barely look at the sunlight streaming through the window without wincing.

A moment later, he realizes the phone in his hands isn’t his.

Link holds the phone up to his face and rubs the grogginess from his eyes. He swipes up on the screen, surprised that it isn’t protected by a password.

The phone is open on note in the notes app, and it reads:

link, if you’re reading this right now, im so sorry for leaving you in the tub like that!!! my dad’s supposed to come home from the office today and the document case i was telling you about is missing and he cant know i lost it. i know we just started getting along, and im so sorry to ask you this, but could you find the document case? impa’s in my contacts and she can help you. also you have permission to dig through my phone, just dont judge me if i have anything embarrassing on there. can you find the file by midnight? his flight leaves at 3 and i can stall him until then.

it’s 6:11 right now so i have to run before he gets back, but please hurry! i’ll be waiting for you

-zelda

Link blinks and turns the phone off.

Last night? What happened last night? Why can’t he remember anything?

Well, if his raging headache tells him anything, it’s that he had probably blacked out last night.

Link isn’t usually a drinker or a partier. He isn’t really one to go to big social events. So he’s really confused as to why he woke up passed out in a tub with zero memories.

And also, why Zelda left her phone with him.

a version of the Silent Princess memory but they're at a party and its modern

Zelda laughs. “I think I got a little too sober from the Yiga incident to enjoy the party now.”

Link isn’t sure if he’s supposed to laugh with her, but nods anyway. “Do you want to get some air?”

Zelda gives him an odd look, then sighs. “Yeah. Yes. That would be a good idea.”

Surprisingly, she grabs his forearm and leads him through all the bodies pressed against each other. He can feel the heat of her hand wrapping entirely around his arm like a hot glove, even above the heat of the late summer air and the heat from other people in close proximity.

Somehow, they make it to the other side of the house. Zelda pushes the back door open and pulls him past the other stragglers outside before they find a nice tree with a patch of grass that seems generally clear of alcohol and vomit.

Zelda releases his arm as soon as she finds the tree and she sits down, dropping her head against the trunk.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Zelda waves her hand vaguely.

Link pauses. “Do you need water?”

“If you get me any more water, I’m probably gonna piss myself,” says Zelda. “Sit down.”

He sits down.

The crickets hum vaguely around them, mingling with the distant buzzing and thumping bass of the music from the party. But without people pressing in from all sides and an open field in front of them, it finally feels like he can take a full breath.

The silence settles over them like a blanket. It feels comfortable to him, but he isn’t sure if it’s supposed to be.

“Oh, Link, look.”

Link cranes his head to see Zelda twist around and point out a blue flower glowing vaguely in the dark. It was beautiful with blue petals so light they looked almost white, and a sky blue bleeding out from the center before fading out.

He wants to give her a questioning look, but she’s transfixed on the flower. He can see the smallest of smiles creeping up onto the corners of her mouth.

“It’s a Silent Princess,” she says. “It was my mom’s favorite flower.”

He can tell something important is happening, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“She said that we can’t grow them domestically yet, despite our best efforts.” Zelda breaks into a full smile and it’s radiant. “The Princess can only thrive out here. In the wild.”

They both turn to look back at the house as another loud WHOOP cuts through the air, followed by the sound of a can being crushed against a head.

“Nature is beautiful,” says Link.

Zelda swats him and he has to bite back a laugh.

She turns and runs a gentle finger along one of the petals before sighing and leaning back against the tree.

“Thank you,” she says suddenly. “For being there with the Yiga. And for being there the whole party.” He can hear her swallow. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

“You weren’t being a bitch,” says Link.

“I was, though.” Zelda inhales beside him. “I mean, just because I’m under a lot of stress from my dad doesn’t mean I’m allowed to take it out on other people. I was acting like a kid.”

“To be fair, your dad sounds like an asshole sometimes.”

Zelda snorts. “Yeah. He can be.” He turns his head to see her lean forward to fiddle with the grass. “But he’s got a lot on his plate. And it probably doesn’t help that his daughter doesn’t want anything to do with his ‘legacy.’”

“Just because your dad’s under a lot of pressure doesn’t mean he’s allowed to be an asshole,” Link points out.

Zelda finally looks up at him and offers him a small grin. “Fair enough.”

“And besides, you’re your own person. You don’t need to follow in his footsteps.”

“That’s what I said,” huffs Zelda. “But of course it’s, ‘blah blah you have a responsibility. I didn’t raise you like this so you could waste your time researching pointless things.’” She sighs. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I came to this stupid party to blow off steam, I guess. But Goddess, I did not eat enough today to drink that many cans of shitty beer.”

Link sits upright, alert. “Do you need to get food or—”

“No, no, that’s fine.” And that smile returns and Link wonders what else he can say to make it stay. “You’re sweet. But I’ve probably gotten drunk enough tonight.” Her eyes slide up to him and the mischief in them stops his heart for a moment. “You still have to try the Hot Frog.”

Link blinked. “...what is that?”

the endings are abrupt on both of them just bc i wasn't entirely sure how to end them akldjfasd. also the "Hot Frog" is gonna be some kind of mixed drink that gets link really drunk -- me trying to allude more to the original memory from the game haha

anyway, thank you so much for the ask! and thank u for coming up with the shitpost because it made me laugh the first time i read it hasdklfj hopefully i'll continue this one day and do ur shitpost au justice!

#lmao i just realized i titled the fic 'the lelda of zelda: breath of the weath' bc of a meme i saw at the time of making the google doc #also this is completely unimportant but im normally a past tense kind of gal #so it was a bit of an experiment writing in present tense for this #i might end up switching to past tense again later anyway aksjdfhasd #anyway thank you again for the ask <3 #eerna #asks

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katie934 · 2 years

Text

🍄 day 4/100 · mental health progress

i've had three main feelings throughout the day: stress, tired, and at peace.

ever since last night, the russia/ukraine stuff has REALLY had me stressed out. i nearly broke down just watching all of it begin—the sound of the missiles, the people fleeing, the blaring of the sirens. it all makes me sick to my stomach.

i feel almost bad saying that. after all, am i truly being affected by this at the moment? am i playing the victim in a situation where i'm not even being victimized??

what i keep trying to remind myself though is that that is most definitely NOT true. there's nothing wrong with mourning along with others. the thought of invasion, war, and death is terrifying. i should be allowed to feel those feelings without my mind telling me i don't deserve to. i may not be the victim, but i am still allowed to feel fear, sadness, and devastation.

as for the tired, i'm just tired, my dudes ahaha. we had a child come over to our house for a bit and WOOO boy, if school didn't drain me enough, that child most definitely did. they've officially left now though so i'm free to relax and enjoy the free time that i have tonight, which i am VERY excited about.

now comes the peace—i am SO excited to just have some free time for myself. my plans primarily include journaling, writing, and finding a new show for me and my friends to start watching tomorrow. i'm going to be vibing tonight bahah

also something i wanted to mention that is lowkey (highkey?) a big step for me and is kinda making me anxious but excited in a way? but i think tomorrow i'm going to post something on my instagram??? aside from a blm post, i haven't put anything on my page in FOREVER (like a few years), so this is actually a huge step for me ahhH

i just feel like there's stuff that i wanna share and i've always been afraid to do it—but hey, you only live once!!! so yeah guys. i'm gonna do it. i'm going to shove all those thoughts out of my head of people possibly being like "oh my gosh she's so weird for posting this" and just DO IT. i mean, if there was anyone who were to be rude enough to care about what *i* post, why should their opinion even be relevant to me? why should ANYONE'S opinion about MYSELF be relevant to me?? (or well, sometimes you are in need of input from others, but typically not for instagram posts.)

anyways, i think i'll wrap this up here—my thoughts and love are going out to the people struggling in ukraine and the surrounding areas, and please enjoy this picture of my living room + more snow that we got today here<33

⸙͎۪۫ ⊰

#female writers #writing #positive mental attitude #mentally exhausted #mental health #positive thoughts #positivity #scenery #winter aesthetic #winter #beautiful rooms #aestethic

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athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit · 3 years

Text

Of Ice and Blood

Part 5

Look who's back with a 5k+ word count chapter?! Me!

I was planning on posting 1k+ at a time but stuff happened and I'm posting it all at once!

Enjoy and I'd appreciate it dearly if you reblog! Thank you!

Edit: Reached the 250 block limit so... The inevitable decision had to be made! Part 5 has a total of 3.42k words! The rest will be in a separate post <3

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: Cursing, Violence, brief mentions of blood and injury.

Overall SFW (but 16+ for language)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 Part 6

The walk back to the school building was quiet.

Or so I thought.

Because it wasn't. At all.

Whispers, mutterings, echoed from the rooms as we passed by.

Are they doing it on purpose, or is my hearing sharper than usual?

"Hey look it's that girl."

"You mean the freak who sat beside the orc—"

"First day of school and someone already got killed. Should've expected him to be a savage."

"You think she wears a mask to hide her identity? Maybe she's a criminal-"

Probably the latter.

I shrugged. There stood a decent amount of distance between us anyway. So it's likely my hearing.

Students were watching us with weird suspecting eyes from a distance behind the windows. Sensing apprehension and outward hate when they saw Tai'chi next to me, his face in a neutral expression. But with my nose at this proximity, he smells pretty annoyed.

Just— why are there so many people,— humans–garnering these feelings towards someone they don't even know! And to even mock him like that! How dare —

"Pearl," Tai'chi called. His rich voice resonating, making the gossips of the students stop for a brief moment before they continued. Most likely slandering my name now. I didn't know I was standing still. Looking up, Tai'chi was a decent 9 meters away, with the staff members further ahead of him. He gave me a wondering look, worry along with his natural fragrance, drifted through me, carried by air.

I straightened up and took long strides, Tai'chi beside me, to catch up with them.

"Yeah, just thinking. I'm okay." Replying, not looking up to him. He didn't ask, but I felt like he would.

************short pov shift************

He was a bit bothered by the change in your scent and looked back when he noticed you weren't beside him anymore. There you were, standing in the middle of the wide hallway, brows scrunched up in aggravation.

He called out to you, probably a little louder than he meant to, but you looked up and hastily made your way beside him, both of you catching up to the rest towards the dean's office. He didn't ask, but you answered, only making him worry even more.

**********first person pov**************

As soon as we entered the main office of the center building, we were greeted with the sight of the dean and David, together with Miss Holson. He was a white fat man, though a bit taller than me, wearing a light grey suit with a few buttons open revealing a white undershirt, and a silly yellow, violet polka dot tie. I barely held back from snorting at the sight.

Mr. Silverstone was fussing over his son, his voice raised in slight panic was heard by everyone.

They went ahead of us then.

"My son! My dear, dear David! Who did this to you?!" he cried out. Once David, that son of a bitch, spotted me, he flashed me that blasted grin of his. He was acting, pretending to be hurt.

I hardly even left a scratch on him for fuck's sake. How I regret not punching him straight in the face.

Reverting to his fake, frightened, and miserable state, he pointed at me. "I-I-It's her father! She is the one who attacked me! Along with that thing with her."

Thing?! That sick bastard!

The dean whipped his head in my direction, eyes scanning me up and down before he diverted them to Tai'chi.

Well, it seems I'll ve packing up sooner than I thought.

My shoulders sagged.

Some professors were alarmed by this, frantically pushing forward to grab his attention.

"Mr. Silverstone, we still do not know what's for certain. We must interrogate them properly and listen to each of their sides before we make a decision." Mr. Dulrik asserted, his voice strained and close to animosity. He was not pleased with what the student had said.

The elder professor from earlier followed up.

"Listen to Mr. Dulrik, sir. We cannot take any risks and ju—"

"Silence!" the dean shouted. "I will not hear your reasoning. My son has told me everything I need to know. Miss Holson supported his claims and that's enough to decide what to do with these criminals."

Criminals?!

"The girl and that orc shall be expelled from this institution immediately. We do not need any murderers or barbarians here. I have always suspected why that Ernestine brat even allowed these monstrosities to be with us. To breathe the same air and walk the same land as we do, endangering our safety no less! A pathetic excuse of a founder she is! If it were me I would've—"

"You would've what?" Words came out before I stopped myself, my voice low, but it was heard still, drawing their attention to me.

"What did you just say?" He demanded, his anger slipping out more. The room was silent, except for the subtle ticking of the wall clock behind me, and the movement of air around us.

I lifted my head and looked at him dead in the eye. "You would've what?" This time, I replied, louder.

Before he could retort I went on, emotion fueling my words as I advanced with every question asked.

"Would've banned every single, non-human race from the university?

"Would've taught every human that they are greater beings and the ones that were different were meant to be stepped on?

"Would've ordered and tolerated bullying on anyone who was unnatural and weird looking?

"Would've put them in their place?

Isolate them? Degrade them? Despise them for being alive?" No-one stopped me as I approached him, the teachers separating and making way. Even Mr. Dulrik was regarding me curiously.

I scoffed. " 'If it were me' you said. You think I wouldn't notice how everyone else, that isn't human, was oppressed and treated like shit in this school? It seems to me that you already did what you would've done, didn't you? You are no dean, you are a clown, a pillock, a dumbass, and you call yourself human? You are more monster than any of us in this room."

I breathed heavily as I stood a couple of feet in front of him. His face grew to a crimson hue, my ears catching the sound of smoke seething out of him. At the back, David and Miss Holson were dumbfounded, shocked into place, shaken like ugly statues.

Finally, the dean spoke, his fists clenching hard as he faced me, almost drawing blood.

I am so gonna beat him up. Hell yeah, I will.

"Keep out of trouble if you can." Well, shit happened Mama, forgive me.

"How dare you speak to me like that! I, a pure-blood Silverstone, a line of royalty! If we were still at war I would've had you executed from where you stand—"

"How about you do it yourself then, oh mighty Silverstone jerk?" I mocked and gave a toothy smile, then I remembered he wouldn't see it. That was all it took to have him launching himself at me, the professors running to the sides to avoid his wrath.

His hands were balled tight, a fist aiming for my face, eyes filled with deadly intent.

Oh, he really wants to kill me.

Before it connected, I sidestepped, causing him to stumble forward. Even so, he immediately regained his balance and reached to grab my hoodie. I didn't dodge this time, but before he touched me, I used my right hand to slap it away. With my other hand, fitted with my crimson knuckle dusters, I met his fist with mine. Almost instantly, he stumbled back and crouched down, his left hand holding his bloodied one.

"You bitch!!!" he screamed in agony.

I think I broke his hand.

I glanced to my brass knuckles, some of the blood covering them, merely visible because of its color.

Shattered it perhaps.

"I will have you killed you insolent brat! I'll kill you!" he cursed.

"Now, now, Silverstone, you will do no such thing." A feminine voice cut through the large room. We all turned to the door to see a slim, tall, tanned woman who seemed to be in her 40s, her slightly wrinkled face showing it. She was wearing a black high-waist pencil skirt paired with a black one-button suit and a baby blue undershirt. The lady also wore classic white loafers and white hand gloves made of leather, with her ebony hair tied up in a bun.

Everything about her screams 'important'. I scented an intimidating yet reassuring aura around her.

I met her eyes and a sense of familiarity fell upon me. I know her and I've seen her before.

Wait. Could it be— she's—

"Madame Ernestine!" A professor exclaimed.

That means she's, "The founder," I said out loud.

She began sauntering in my direction, each step clicking on the floor, carrying herself with grace.

"M-Ma-Madame Ernestine!" The dean, shrieked as he stood up, shaking, his busted hand in his chest, his back facing me. "I didn't expect you to visit this year! We could've prepared for your arrival—"

"You shut your mouth now Welmir." She spoke out, her voice firm and borderline hostile. "I've had enough of your blabbering mug. I made it so that my arrival is unexpected. Leaving my outside duties rather early and rushed this year when news got to me that you, the dean, were neglecting your duties, or so, doing it wrong. Not to mention I had my assistant install extra cameras in... certain places last year and because of that, I saw what you did in the shadows. Maybe not all, but it confirmed my suspicions of you, and so," She clapped her together, "I decided to visit you today. And what a surprise it was to see you get beaten up by this lovely young lady behind you."

Me?! Lovely—

My face warmed from her comment.

"Listen here, brat." he regarded the founder. The founder. "I do not know what you are talking about. I have done my duties and more for this university. I made it so that everyone here is safe and this girl,"— he spat— "harmed me, my precious son, and his friends!"

"And all of you deserved it, severely," she responded flatly. "You put my dear students at risk and antagonized them with your schemes, tolerating the behavior of treating other races like animals, disrespecting even the professors who are different in kind," she glanced at Mr. Dulrik and the others. "You even forced a minotaur, an elf, and a dwarven student to act the part of being in a student council, hoping people wouldn't notice the crimes you did behind our backs. Did you expect me to turn blind eye to this?"

It was all pretend?!

The mere thought of what he did to threaten them to it makes me wanna puke.

"I am furious, Welmir Silverstone. To think I believed you'd change your ways after my father's death with the renovation of the institute. Trusted you to do your job as dean and make the students comfortable, welcomed. But, no. You chose to follow his footsteps, became selfish, blinded by greed and pointless hate. You are a disappointment to all of us."

I smelled her rage under that near non-expressive facade of hers. It was spicy, like fire having an odor of its own.

"You are but a child! You know nothing of this world! This world of ours needs to be purged off of those rats. You cannot tell me what to do!" He yelled as he brought up his uninjured hand to hit her. I was about to step in when Madame Ernestine grabbed his arm and threw a right uppercut, blood spilling out of his jaw. The punch sent him a few steps back, he would have landed on me if I didn't move out of the way before he collapsed on the floor groaning and holding his mouth.

Ooh she's strong! Nice! I grinned.

"You are hereby stripped off of your job as dean along with all of your titles, properties, and henceforth banished from these grounds, together with your son and Emma Holson, whom I found out laid with him, and the abusive acts they had engaged in." Her words laced with poison, disgust and anger as she gave the final judgement.

"Never show yourselves. Ever. Again," she spat. "Take them away."

Out of nowhere, men in black suits came in and apprehended the young instructor, who twisted her heel trying to escape. She yelled at them to let her go, saying she has done nothing wrong. David, the bastard, was held in place by one of them as he struggled in their grasp. The dean— or should I say, Mr. Silverstone, in pain and bleeding, was dragged up by two others and headed straight out of the door. He shouted ;

"Mark my words, brat! I will—"

And the door slammed close.

With my gaze following them, my eyes landed on Tai'chi. I took off my dusters and waved, tucking them back up my sleeve.

He is smiling! And oh wow he's damn gorgeous— wait what?

My attention was drawn away to the lady in front of me. I got distracted by Tai'chi that I almost forgot about her.

"Oh my God I uhm— hello Madame Ernestine." I took one step back before bowing. "It's an honor to meet you. I—"

"Oh dear, please raise your head. No need for such formal gestures. I am Valerie Ernestine, founder of the new Ernestine State University." She stated as she beamed at me.

"I uh- Yes ma'am I know of you. I'm quite a fan actually— I mean! My name is Pearl Blackbell, ma'am."

Oh God, that sounded so stupid.

Then she hugged me.

"Ma'am?!" I squeaked. My arms went stiff, nervous to even touch her. Before I could, she pulled back, a gentle expression on her face.

"Nice to meet you, Pearl Blackbell."

"I- nice to meet you too Ma'am Ernestine!" I stammered, praying my face and ears isn't as red as I feel them to be.

"Please, call me Valerie."

"Ma'am Valerie."

"Just Valerie, dear."

"I'm so sorry ma'am but I can't— my mother will hit me in the head with a frying pan if I forget my manners."

"Very well, then. It brings me joy that you were raised properly by your parents."

"Thank you ma'am, I really am happy to have them, and I only hope for them to be proud of me— oh wait. Uh, ma'am Valerie?"

"Yes?"

"Am I gonna get punished or expelled?" I shrunk, expecting the worst.

"Why ever did you think of that?"

"W-Well you see, I did harm uh, students and they're probably in the infirmary right now and—"

"Oh, Pearl, no." She let out a light chuckle. "You won't be punished or even expelled for that! In fact, I saw how you defended yourself and your friend from them. They did attack you first, sweetie. And what you did was impressive!" She clapped her hands. As I stood there in relief, I couldn't help but shot up when the words sank in.

"Oh, thank you. But how...?"

"Apparently, I had my assistant install some cameras in the forest area for particular reasons. I watched you from the monitor as I made my way here," she replied.

"Oh. Oh, wow. That's actually pretty awesome," I sighed.

"Indeed, it is," she smiled. "Excuse me for a bit."

******pov shift to 2nd person (two characters)*****

Madame Ernestine turned and walked towards the remaining teachers to talk about important matters at hand.

"Greetings, my friends." She beamed at the staff and looked at Professor Dulrik and the woman who supported him earlier. "Hello, Roldo and Amila. I have missed you dearly." She bent down to hug the two of them before she went on. "I apologize for not taking action immediately. To think he did this to all of you right under my nose! Why didn't you contact me Roldo?"

"My apologies, Madame Ernestine. I didn't have any proof to show his plot against you and the others. He was very elusive and kept us very busy in our own offices for the past year with you away. That was until today, with the young lady over there standing up against his son, he snapped."

"It really is a good thing she came here, didn't she?" she whispered.

"Indeed, Madame," Amila replied.

There was a brief silence, before Valerie spoke up again. Her gaze locked at the dwarven professor.

"Roldo, my old friend, I want you to take your place as the new dean of this university. I trust you to do your duty a hundred percent better than that impudent man ever did. Will you accept this responsibility?"

"I- Valerie this is-"

"Roldo, you are wise and have seen things most of us here have not. I will not force you on something you do not want, but I put my faith in you, to help me, along with the rest of the staff, to teach everyone here that all of us stand in equal ground, and that we must respect and acknowledge each individual, regardless of their kind. No one, no student, should ever feel uncomfortable in this haven of mine."

"I understand, Valerie." The dwarf took a deep breath and vowed;

"I, Roldo Dulrik, son of Grol II, son of Frerin, accept the responsibilities given to me as dean of Ernestine State University. I will do my duty to the best of my abilities, and remain loyal to you and to this institution." He responded as he thumped his right fist against his chest.

"I know you will, my friend." Valerie grinned at him, her eyes full of trust and hope.

While they were occupied with discussing certain issues, you tried to sneak away, only to be called back by Madame Ernestine.

"Pearl, my dear."

"Yes ma'am?"

"Thank you."

She had a soft smile, emotions clear on her face, directed at you. The founder, Valerie was thanking you for your bravery, kindness and overall honesty. You simply nodded and grinned from ear to ear behind your mask. You were, however, suddenly nervous when Valerie and the two professors approached you. No, actually, all of them were, but the others are heading out of the office, perhaps to go back to their respective classrooms and start working, they gave their thanks as they went out.

"Pearl Blackbell, a wonderful name!" Professor Dulrik remarked. "May the Gods bless you and shine upon you in all your days," he grinned. Before you could reply, Professor Amila hugged you and whispered. "Thank you, for beating up those idiots," —which made you giggle— "It was the right thing to do, and also I had to defend myself. and thank you, Professor Dulrik."

"Nonsense, call me Professor Roldo, lass." He patted your shoulder as he went past you and out of the office, but not before he slapped Tai'chi's forearm.

"You best protect her if you can, lad. Even so, it is obvious she won't need protecting!" He laughed, and went on, quietly, as if whispering. "...Be her friend, my boy. Her eyes...they show the pain she had gone through. You saw that in her, didn't you?"

Tai'chi simply nodded in response. He knew what he meant.

"Then do what you must. If word ever comes to me that you hurt her, I will hunt you down with me battle axe hidden in my office, you hear?"

This time, he chuckled. "I hear you, Professor. I won't. I swear on the the name of my clan, no harm will befall on her." He told him, his voice firm and true.

"That's what I'm talking about, lad!" He replied as he finally exited the room.

Tai'chi shifted his gaze to you. You and the dean were still talking so he stood there, patiently.

"We best be on our way. We still have a number of things to set straight. We will see you around, Miss Blackbell. Don't get into trouble now." The founder giggled.

"I will try my best, ma'am."

"Oh sure you will, sweetie. Goodluck. And oh, the two of you should start going back. It's past lunchbreak afterall." She said as the two ladies sauntered past you and went out.

"Thank you, we will." You said, mostly to yourself.

**************************************

Part 6 will be posted shortly! Like, shortly shortly. Like, an hour or so shortly. Stay tuned! Thank you for reaching this point uwu✨

Tags: @crackinanutshell @kokokatsworld @mitchiesdungeon <3

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