abitunsaid

[abitunsaid]

I'm really not a very angry person there's just a lot of rage inside me

[abitunsaid]

all i want is to have one of those ghibli moments where the protag is just lying in a breezy field with wildflowers and big puffy clouds overhead. that’s the goal here.

[abitunsaid]

my life is constantly just an inner monologue of “why did I do that”

[abitunsaid]

I'll rewrite this whole life and this time there will be so much love. You won't be able to see anything beyond it.

[abitunsaid]

falling in love with someone who loves someone else is like. i want you to be happy. why cant it be me? does she remind you of me? i want you for myself but i cant be selfish with you. the second i saw your face i couldnt stop looking. you just left but i miss you so much. ill wait for you. when you no longer love her im gonna be here.

#love #one sided pining #gay love #wlw love #unrequited romance #ill wait #thoughts #my post #my whole heart #my wriring

[abitunsaid]

i know this is off topic of my blog,but the song face by brockhampton makes me wanna die and live at the same time and punch a hole in the sky and love everybody just in the right way and i wanna cry and heal and i just,i just really have a lot of emptions about that song and its like 1am

#brockhampton #idk

[abitunsaid]

do you ever feel so bad you feel like Heathcliff in that monent after Catherine died? the one where he asks her to haunt me. because thats where i am now.

nobody died, im just sad :)

#dark acadamia aesthetic #classical books #dark academic aesthetic #dark academia #the pain in thart scene is the same pain i have #oh fuck its getting worse #wuthering heights #heathcliff #catherine earnshaw #linton heathcliff #emily bronte

[abitunsaid]

"And if love is a thing held in common, I suppose we had that in common, too"

-- The Secret History, Donna Tartt

[abitunsaid]

“The only lover she had ever wanted was a lover in a dream.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned (via wnq-writers)

[abitunsaid]

news: it been fucking awful to me this far

i hope december is good to you, good to all of us

[abitunsaid]

therapy is expensive, but playing the scene from call me by your name, where elio and his dad talk after oliver left is free

#cmbyn #oliver cmbyn #cmbyn fandom #call me by your name #the pain in thart scene is the same pain i have #elioandoliver

[abitunsaid]

i hope december is good to you, good to all of us

[abitunsaid]

dear god, universe, anything that is out there and watches over us. why? how will i bear the pain of all my lives before this one, while also bearing the pain of existing right now? how can one human bear so much pain? why would you let me, in the first place.

please, let me wake up better tomorrow, or dont wake me at all.

#depresjon #sad night #oh shit its me #oh fuck its getting worse #god #universe #faith #pain #so much pain #soul #reincarnatedsoul #my writing #write #writing #writeblr #excerpt from a story i'll never write #excerpt from a book i'll never write #god help my soul #god help me #sadness #mentally ill #mental disorder

[abitunsaid]

I loved you

As Icarus loved the sun

Too close

Too much

[abitunsaid]

sylvia plath once wrote in her journal 'if i get through this year, no matter how badly, it will be the biggest victory i've ever done' and if that's not a mood for 2020 i don't know what is.

[abitunsaid]

"How do we forgive ourselves for all of the things we did not become"

[abitunsaid]

i used to write a lot, and i see everywhere, dark academia is also about trying to write poetry or just anything. and i swear to god i try, but it hurts me because i no longer can. somehow my words ran away from me, and they are not coming back.

#dark acadamia aesthetic #dark academic aesthetic #dark academia #writing #my writing #write #writers #poetry #poets on tumblr #fuck how did this happen to me