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abso-freaking-lutly · 5 years

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The Light After the Rain

A quick story that bubbled out of me after seeing the Endgame trailer during the Super Bowl.

Summary: Steve makes a new friend at support group meetings

Also on AO3

Before the snap, at Sam’s request, Steve had started going to a support group for those who had lost loved ones. It helped him process his grief over Bucky and Peggy a little, although it was pretty hard for a group of regular civilians to understand his struggles with time travel and his cryogenically frozen best friend.

After the snap, he kept going to the meetings. Only a few of the patrons were the same. It was hard for all of them. A counselor could help you through the grief of losing your father or your friend, that had happened to people before. But even Gene, the therapist who got her MD from Harvard medical school, who had helped people through the AIDS Crisis in the 80s, the terrorist attacks in 2001, and the attack on manhattan in 2010 was a loss. She had taken to bringing home cooked meals and coaxing people to even say a few words.

Steve knew every patron’s name, except one. A recent college graduate who told everyone to call her Rain. Steve actually really liked Rain. She had the same calming presence of Sam, was sharp as a tack like Tony, had the wit of Natasha, and a smile that was all Bucky. She hadn’t actually told anybody her real name, but she was willing to tell everyone her life’s story. At the first meeting She revealed that she started going to these support groups when she was a kid, after her dad died. At the second meeting she explained that she used to be the manager of a pretty popular band in Queens, but that the only member left was the drummer. By the third meeting she had told them that her mother, her fiancé, and her best friend had all died in the snap. She explained that the only reason she hadn’t been evicted was that her landlord had been dusted too.

After that meeting Steve asked her if she needed a place to stay or any help with her rent. She smiled at him sadly and asked if he wanted to grab coffee with her instead. “I haven’t had a friend in a while and I think you might be in the same boat,” she said as she was walking towards one of the 3 coffee shops in Brooklyn that had a full pay roll.

Steve had been in the Polka dot coffee shop with Natasha a couple of times. God he missed her. He had only seen her twice since they left Wakanda, but he couldn’t fault her from running away from her life, that’s what most people did.

Steve was brought out of his daze when Rain said, “I’m going to get a tattoo today.”

“Of what?”

“I found a note my mom wrote me when I was a kid, after my dad died it said ‘In times of darkness, always search for the light’ and she signed it. I’m going to get the note tattooed in her handwriting.” She took a sip of the tea that she had gotten and blinked away the beginnings of tears, “I die my hair to look like Michelle’s,” Steve looked at Rain’s bright purple hair and remembered her mentioning her best friend, “And I wear my engagement ring still, even though Ryan has been gone for months, so I figured I would memorialize my mother somehow. She was my hero, and that thought saved me in more ways than one.”

Steve grabbed her and and squeezed it, trying to tell her without words that he was there for her. He was shocked by his next set of words, “Can I come too?”

She grinned at him, reminding him in every way that even though Bucky wasn’t physically with him, he wasn’t really gone. That was how Steve Rogers ended up with the names of everyone he lost printed neatly on his ribs, and the name “James Buchannon Barnes” right on his chest, where his dog-tags hit.

Rain didn’t come to the support group the next week. Steve found out later that she spent the day at her father’s grave.

She came in the week after with a new nose ring and fresh purple in her hair. She sat next to him and offered him a small smile. Steve spoke first. He talked about Bucky and how seeing him vanish to dust made him actually want to kill somebody for the first time in his life. He talked about how even fighting Nazis couldn’t prepare him for the hell that Thanos had put him through. After his turn, Rain had offered her hand as a form of comfort.

The members of the support group went around talking about their loved ones until they finally reached Rain. She was touching the back of her neck, the place with her new tattoo.

She looked directly at the ground when she spoke, “There are days where I wish I had dissolved into dust along with them… I don’t want to die, but living with this guilt is exhausting, and living without them is excruciating.”

She looked around at the rest of the group before continuing, “My fiancé and I always joked that if the world ended we would got to costco and live out the apocalypse there, but I always had a sneaking suspicion that if the world ended I’d off myself. Again, I never wanted to die. I just… I think there is a difference between living and surviving. That was my plan.

But the snap didn’t make me want to end it. It enraged me. I’m not just surviving, I’m living andI’m full of spite. By sheer existence I oppose Thanos and everything that he did. I’m going to make it through this, and he won’t see it coming. Thanos left the avengers alive… He left the people who stopped the attack on manhattan 5 against 100,000.” She looked at Steve the way little kids who saw him at the museum did, with absolute wonder, like he could do anything.

She continued, ”And the thing he forgets, is that people aren’t going to let him steal our lives and our love. Balance my ass… Thanos will fall and we will get peace. The world will get better, and we will keep moving forward, and that is a threat.” In that moment Steve Rogers understood why she called herself Rain. She was reminding herself and everyone around her to keep searching for light.

Steve didn’t linger at the meeting like he normally did. He looked at Rain one last time to see if she was ok. She offered him the same smile that Bucky always did right before they did something stupid, and with that he ran home to call Natasha.

Natasha picked up after 2 rings. He didn’t let her get in a word before saying “Come back to New York.”

Her response was a simple “ok” before the line went dead.

Standing in front of the Avengers (and a raccoon and an alien) for the first time since fighting Ultron was exhilarating. For the first time in a while he had hope. “We are going to save the world.”

Tony looked at Steve and spoke to him for the first time in 2 years, “You sound so sure.”

“A fallen hero told me that in times of darkness, we should always search for the light. We are going to save the world. Things are going to get better, and that is a threat.”

Natasha grinned at him, “I think you have a line that follows that.”

Steve smiled. “Avengers Assemble!”

#I don't know man #It had to be written #avengers endgame #avengers infinity war #spoilers #MCU #Marvel #Captain America #Steve Rogers #mine #Trigger Warnings #mentions of death #mentions of suicide #tw death #tw suicude #nobody actually kills themselves but like they talk the concept of suicide for a couple of lines and I want you all to stay safe

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abso-freaking-lutly · 6 years

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Soulmate AUs that I’m not actually gonna write

Seeing in color when you meet

timer

matching marks

matching marks with the added drama of having an enemy matching mark as well

who knows which is which, certainly not the main character

bruses appearing on your soulmates skin when you get injured

feeling each others pain

first words tattooed on your skin

with the added drama of one of them being “Welcome to starbucks may I take your order”

I can’t believe dumbledore dies

tattoo of the words when you realize you are in love

name on body

goose day (see OMGCP fandom)

places you touch them turn different colors

your tattoo appears on them after you meet

galaxies

the moving tattoo that matches their personality

soul dreams

the good place AU

handprint on the first place they touch you

back of the neck hand print

red string of fate

hearing the songs that they are hearing

hearing the most important song to them at any given time

time traveling pep talks

soulmate eye color link

your first passion is their tattoo

you can only meet when you are both buying something embarrassing

their first thought about you is the words on your skin

just have the initials

everything they write on their skin appears on yours

soulmate or 1000 roaches (also see OMGCP fandom)

flowers grow in the presence of your soulmate

immediately teleported elsewhere

attached for 24 hrs after meeting

one of you dies the second you meet so you has to rescue the other

teleported to the place where they had the worst moment of their life

body swap

#I actually have written a couple of these #mine

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abso-freaking-lutly · 6 years

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I see Supernatural bashing on tumblr all the time, and I just wanted to get my thoughts down on it. Supernatural, for me at least, was not ruined by the writing of the show, but by the fandom. Supernatural was my first experience in online fandom. Everything else was just chatting with my friends and texting each other fic recs. And god did the fandom make me hate the show. People decided the show had to be F-ing AP lit class instead of just enjoying it like a person. Everyone had to nitpick every thing calling every character problematic. Nobody could separate their ships from canon (and trust me, I’m an avid stucky shipper. I know what it is like to see a ship that isn’t gonna happen. But I also know that it isn’t gonna happen and I haven’t harassed the writers and actors by calling them homophobes a million times a day). I was told both in person and online that I was a bad person because I liked Sam better than I liked Dean. Sorry I relate to one character more than the other, its an opinion we are allowed to have different ones.

I stopped watching Supernatural for lack of time more than anything else. I really didn’t like the show at this point, but I wanted to see it to the end because I had invested that much time into it. I was a college freshman and I stopped watching after season 11 because I didn’t have the time to watch a show on Tuesdays and I had no way to DVR it or legally stream it, and I didn’t care enough to look for illegal streams. I didn’t want spoilers (because at the time I had plans to binge the season on netflix — which was a bust because they get posted in october, during school) so I ended up unfollowing every supernatural blog that I followed on tumblr, and I unfollowed most of the cast on twitter too (At this point I think I just follow Misha?). And it was freeing. There was maybe a 10th of the stressful discourse on my dash. I had time to look into other fandoms, Marvel, The Flash, Shadowhunters, Brooklyn Nine Nine. And those fandoms were/are fun to be in, it was people actually enjoying the show and doing an analysis on positive things they noticed, instead of bashing it and the people who just enjoyed it because it was fun. (I didn’t like Supernatural because it was groundbreaking i liked it because I have a thing for tall bad boys, classic rock, and magic. But in that fandom you weren’t allowed to like things for shallow reasons.) Discourse in these other fandoms didn’t end with people telling each other to kill themselves, and even after F-ing Civil War the Steve v Tony discourse usually ended with my friends and I agreeing to disagree then deciding to re watch Winter Soldier or Iron Man 3.

I realized the Supernatural fandom was toxic as hell, more so than a lot of other rabid/cult fan bases. (and yeah every fan base has their terrible people and discourse junkies who make things un-fun. I’ve blocked and unfollowed a ton of other fandom blogs. but with SPN that was nearly everybody) And now its really cool to hate Supernatural, just like it was cool to hate OneDirection 7 years ago. So no matter what you lose.

This past spring, 2 seasons after I stopped watching Supernatural , I caught an episode from their leviathan arc (An arc that I genuinely remember disliking) while I was at the gym, and I absolutely loved it. It was funny and action packed. Everybody was really good looking and for once since joining tumblr in 2013 the episode wasn’t marred by a discourse about how Sam ruined everything or about how the leviathans were stupid, or how destiel should be canon and how the writers were homophobic for not writing it that way (Sorry not sorry, but I never got destiel).

I’m too far behind to catch up right now, so I’ll probably end up waiting for the show to end then rewatching the whole thing, and hopefully by the time that happens I’ll be off of tumblr too. I guess what I really want to say in this is, don’t let the fandom ruin a show for you. Casually liking things is about 1000% more fun than being deep in a fan base. Just let yourself enjoy things and don’t act like it has to be fully analyzed. Deeper understanding of the media can be great. It can lead to things like the iconic head canon that Steve Rogers figured out that he was in the future not because of the game on the radio but because of how the agent was dressed. You can look deeper but you shouldn’t feel like you have to do work to enjoy a show.

#Supernatural #not fiction #mine

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abso-freaking-lutly · 6 years

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Welcome to Starbucks

Steve didn’t have a problem with the words on his arm, per se, but he wasn’t really happy with them. At least he could be comforted by the fact that his soulmate had beautiful handwriting. Steve was born with the phrase “Welcome to Starbucks! May I take your order?” written on his skin in large loopy script.

He didn’t have anything against Starbucks. Actually it was quite the opposite; he really liked Starbucks. Steve’s main issue was the fact that living in Brooklyn meant there were more Starbucks locations within 20 minutes of his home than there were actual restaurants. Steve could spend a month at a time just learning about all of the employees at one location, and even then he would have to move on to the next one.

Steve’s coffee addiction started when he was a teenager. He wanted to meet his soulmate. His mom told him that was part of the reason that he never passed 5 foot 5; the coffee stunted his growth.

Steve tried to never get his hopes up when he got up to the counter. The odds of the barista actually being his soulmate were quite low. He was never too upset when he figured out that he wasn’t talking to the person that he was meant to be with. And yes there were quite a few people who he may have fantasized about saying the right thing to. Sam later became his best friend. And Peggy convinced the Starbucks to hang his paintings. And Steve was able to introduce Natasha to her soulmate. There were no hard feelings.

By the time Steve was 25, things were a little harder. Starbucks was a little too expensive for a guy who illustrated children’s books, and not meeting his soulmate was starting to get to him. He decided to save going to Starbucks for saturday mornings, and use the opportunity to work on his comic book.

Steve was running extremely late for a meeting with a client. His only saving grace was the fact that they were meeting at a Starbucks 5 minutes away from his apartment. He could skip breakfast and get something to eat there while he waited.

Steve hightailed it to the Starbucks, arriving 10 minutes before his client, Pepper, said she would meet him. He got in line and waited. Steve was so lost in his own world that he didn’t notice that he was next until somebody said, “Welcome to Starbucks, May I take your order?”

Steve looked up at the barista in front of him. The guy was tall with long dark hair that was pulled into a bun. He had the most striking eyes that Steve had ever seen. Steve was pretty sure that this guy, Bucky as his nametag said, was wasting his modeling potential on being a barista.

Before he could really stop himself steve mumbled, “There is no way, I’m this lucky.”

Bucky stared at him. “No way.” he pulled the sleeve of his shirt up and said, “Does yours say, Welcome to starbucks, may I take your order?”

“Y- yes.”

Bucky, ran out from behind the counter while yelling, “Scott take over for me for like a minute. Something came up.” He bounded over, stopping right in front of Steve with a huge grin. “I’m Bucky, and I think we might be soulmates.” Before Steve could respond, Bucky pulled him into a tight hug. He pulled away and said, “Sorry I didn’t even ask your name.”

“I’m Steve.”

“Nice to meet you Steve.”

“I’m not gonna lie,” Bucky said as they sat down on their first real date, “I was pretty sure that I was going to meet somebody who had just won the lottery.”

“I think I did win the lottery. The soulmate lottery.”

“God you are such a dork.”

“Hey the universe said we were meant to be together, clearly at least part of you is into that.”

“Oh all of me is definitely into that.”

#IDK with this one #its been chilling in the notes in my phone for like a solid year and a half #soulmate au #stucky #marvel #captain america #mine #writing #fanfic

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abso-freaking-lutly · 6 years

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Who is the Guy in the Goggles

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2b4mCyb

by elizziebeth13

A masked man keeps helping Bucky in fights against Hydra, and Bucky is a little fixated on figuring out who he is.

Bucky is still coping with losing Steve, and this guy really won’t leave him alone.

Words: 7475, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Captain America - All Media Types

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark, Scott Lang, Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton, OC - Character, Nick Fury

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Not Really Character Death, like you think they die for a minute, and its fine like 4 paragraphs later, Post Death of Captain America, mix of movie and comic canon, Sad!Bucky, Angst, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, non plausible paintball science

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2b4mCyb

#my writing #Fanfic #archive of our own #Marvel #stucky

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abso-freaking-lutly · 6 years

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21st Century Coffee

If Bucky Barnes had to rank his top ten favorite things about the twenty-first century, coffee would be somewhere on that list. All of the flavors, and cheep sugars, it was a vast improvement from his youth. Steve and Bucky actually made it their mission to try every new place in Brooklyn. Breakfast on weekends were reserved for new coffee shops (or new treats at Starbucks if a speedy decision couldn’t be made). It only took a month before the other avengers got involved. It wasn’t uncommon for Natasha, Tony, or Sam to tag along to new cafes.

Natasha found the Polkadot Coffee Shop by accident (it wasn’t her fault that the robot flung her through the window of the boutique across the street), and decided then and there that they would go there for breakfast on Saturday. The coffee shop itself could only be described as cute. The counter was pushed all the way to the back leaving space for couches, and tables. None of the decor matched, but there was a distinct stylistic theme, less of a business and more of a home. The walls were black with various metallic circles in different sizes. Huge artfully decorated chalk boards displayed the menu. Over to the side was a raised area bracketed by speakers; a stage for small performances. Steve itched to draw it.

A young woman behind the counter, seemingly the only person in the store, looked up from her laptop when they entered. She grinned at them showing a slight gap between her front teeth. “Welcome to the Polkadot Coffee Shop. I would have remembered if you’d been here before, so I’ll let you take a minute to look at the menu”

After a moment of relative quiet and the ambient noise of ukulele music, Bucky let out a chuckle. “That sandwich is called Buchanan, you think I should try it.”

The woman answered before Steve got the chance to joke back, “It’s named after you.” Bucky looked a bit taken aback (and a little pleased with himself). “There’s actually stuff named after all of you. An espresso named Stark, we have a latte named Black Widow, a blackberry scone called hawkeye, a sandwich called Grant. We also have little cookies that look like Falcon in his costume, too bad he isn’t here with you… Although I personally recommend the Genesis, but I might be biased.” At that moment they noticed the circular tag displaying the name “Genesis”. She laughed and in that moment Bucky thought that she looked incredibly familiar. He had never seen somebody quite like her, curly hair sticking out in every direction even though she had pulled most of it back, deep tan skin dusted with freckles. He didn’t know this girl but something about her seemed… something.

They regrouped after a moment and placed their orders. After Genesis finished writing the order she said, “I’ll bring the food to you guys. You can take a seat.”

Before anybody had a chance to move Tony shouted, “Wait! You haven’t charged us yet.“

“It’s on the house.”

“No, I insist you let me pay,” Tony said holding up his wallet.

“You guys have saved the world multiple times. Black Widow and Hawkeye here have saved my life personally. And this is my grandmother’s shop, she would have my head if I charged those two,” She pointed at Steve and Bucky, “Trust me, its on the house.”

Tony looked her dead in the eyes and shoved a hundred dollar bill in the painted coffee mug that held the tips. She chuckled and started to make their order. While everyone moved to one of the couches Bucky asked, “Why would your grandmother kill you if you charged us?”

“Do you remember a Dorothy Reid?” Bucky did remember a Dorothy Reid, the kid who lived next door to Steve and him in the 1930s. Steve and Bucky looked after her when both of her parents had to work. He remembered the grin on her face when they took her out for ice cream the day Steve made a few bucks off of a comic strip, and then it clicked.

“Steve, get over here.” Steve perked up and almost immediately appeared at Bucky’s side. “Genesis is Dottie Reid’s granddaughter.”

Steve looked shocked, “Really?”

“Oh yeah! She is my dad’s mom. I run the place for her. She told me in 2010 that if you ever came in that I couldn’t charge you… You actually came in on a bad day, she is usually here telling me to play different music.” Genesis grinned and turned back to making their food.

They came to Polkadot Coffee Shop pretty frequently after that day.

#I had a vision of Tony Stark giving a barista a huge tip after she refused to charge him #and i wanted somebody who was related to an old friend of steve and bucky to meet them #and this kinda just appeared #Marvel #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #Tony Stark #fic #short fic #I wrote this on my phone so sorry about that #mine

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