lessthanzerocals-blog - Tumblr blog

lessthanzerocals-blog · 5 years

Text

I’m the alcorexic, hah. Damn.

What are you?

Types of Ana’s🤪

(from my old blog before I got deactivated)

•Seriel Fasters

when was the last time they ate

“New longest fast: 79 years!”

literally owns Ketosis

Does one week fast like it’s nothing

Fast ~ binge ~ fast ~ restrict ~ fast ~ binge

•Exerexies

Rules the gym with an iron booty

Burned off 2000 calories in a day….not including their BMR

“No days off!!”

“I need to get off my ass and do my squats”

Works off like all their binges

•Calorie Bouncers

New cal limit every day/week

Can survive off 800 cals and 100 cals with equal efficiency

“Gotta keep my metabolism on its toes!”

Hits plateaus more times than anyone can count

•Try-Dieter

ABC diet

Russian gymnast diet

skinny bride diet

Has literally tried every Ana diet in the history of planet earth

And has never finished one of them

•Macro-Micro Mama

Won’t even BREATHE in the direction of carbs

Sodium, saturated fat, protein, count it count it COUNT IT IT MATTERS!!

“Does this have enough vitamin C2828JSJSJ??”

Takes 94 vitamins a day

Vegatarian/Vegan/Keto diet

•Liquid Lover

Forgot how to chew

But sometimes chews and spits

“Liquid fast day 782920”

Tomato soup and bullion cubes are their lives

protein shakes

•Alcorexic

Alcohol does not count towards their daily limit

If it did they’d lose their mind

Starve all day, party all night

Sometimes swaps alcohol for weed, gets the munchies, and punches themselves in the face

“Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer you’re in the clear!”

Only clear alcohol….brown alcohol and they’ll never wake up

Feel free to add 🌷

2K notes · View notes

lessthanzerocals-blog · 5 years

Photo

I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard it made me cry. It made me feel less human. Less worthy of anything, because I failed. And I kept failing for a very long time. So now, after eating a bag of chips and drinking four cans of cider, I tell myself: “Get your shit together. Either recover or fully worship Ana.” I’m not sure how I’m gonna feel about this in a few days, but right now, I’m totally in.

Recovery is hard and exhausting and it’s something that I’d love to achieve one day, but right now I can’t. So before I go any deeper into my day I’d like to warn those who aren’t sick. Don’t read this if you want to trigger yourself. Don’t read this if you’re not here because you’re sick too and you want to feel less alone or if you’re not a psychology student (or someone in that field) who wants to know more about this sick community. And I know you’ll probably read this and think “Ah shush, I will never get sick, because I have it under control.”, but I strongly please you, leave till you can, because you don’t want this sh*t in your head. It’s constant pain and hate.

If you made it to this point, I’m sorry. You’re not alone and I feel you. The reason why I’ve decided to make a new blog and write this never ending post is, that I’ve realized that I am not recovered and I’ll never fully recover. Today I got triggered during dinner in a hotel.

I was casually walking by the buffet and I picked up few things that looked really good (before I continue, I just want to be clear, that it wasn’t a proper sized dinner even for a 10 year old kid) and I was feeling good about myself because I didn’t feel anxious by walking into the dinning room and not even about picking up food that I was about to eat. I set down at a table and I started to realize that everyone is looking at me. For a while I thought it was because I am 19 and alone in a hotel, but then I recognized this type of staring. It was the kind that hurts you. I know that people were looking at me because I had so little on my plate, but at that moment I felt like they were judging me because of how much I was about to eat. So after fifteen minutes of “eating” I was finally leaving and I saw the looks. They were mostly worrisome, but it made me super uncomfortable so I basically ran back to my room (which made the looks even more concerned). After that I was pissed at myself because I was about to relapse. So I drove to a store, bought chips and ciders and went back to the hotel. And that brings me here.

I’m sitting in my hotel room writing this post and I can’t stop thinking about all those situations in my life, where I was like “Nope, that’s it. I have to recover or I’ll die.” And it makes me want to lough because I know what I’m about to step back into. But who knows, maybe I’ll wake up and be in a totally different mindset. Either way I’ll let you know.

P.S: sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my mother language.

2 notes · View notes