#:D I like hurting myself

[shadow0-1]

I wish I knew how to quit you

#call of duty #modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #MWII #CoD MWII #blender renders #Shadow Company #OC: Jax #Jackie Ramirez #Ship: High Places #tw character death #well its implied but yknow #:D I like hurting myself #AU where Jackie didn't make it in time to save Graves #And he bled out in the fire #there's a lot here #Jack wearing Graves' watch #his dialogue color being more dark/gray than usual #him smoking again #I may or may not be getting those tags irl :)

[hinamie]

just looking at these hand poses was enough to give me carpal tunnel and that's how u know they're prime megu material

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #megumi fushiguro #yuuji itadori #megumi #yuuji #fanart #jjk fanart #itafushi #sometimes u gotta take a break from drawing megumi to draw different megumi and thats on self care #smiling megu for the soul he said heart emoji i said :D #i tried to do the poses myself and . u kno. im not convinced hands are meant to contort that way guys :( it hurt :( #so yuuji can share my pain i think tht bit is cute #tried smth a bit different w the skin rendering and i rly rly like it holy #very early era vacuumchan inspired :'> lov them SM sighs #also ripped megus jacket directly from a pinterest fit bc one of us deserves nice things :(((( #if sukuna wont stop wearing megumi in canon ill just play dress up to cope

[emece-sp]

Come on guess who my favorite SCP doctor (and author) is, Bonus

Tiny bug

#its clef- who would have known #scp foundation #scp fanart #scp fandom #scp #alto clef #dr clef #dr alto clef #mcarts #fanart #i've drawn him like 4905940 millions times this year #am i going to upload any of the rest? probably not iM SCARED #Uhh the guy with the net is my d-class #oc #triple #Oh yeah there's the beetlejuice reference too #cough #don't ask #Edit: my friends are bullying me over this because i got so nervous my tummy started to hurt #if author sees this 1- im sorry 2- i will launch myself to the sun like one of those experiments to kill 682 lmao

[oraclesandomens]

Nicholas D. Wolfwood sketches. This boy — he might seem like he’s all anger and rough edges but he’s really just a lost kid. Vash was right — his eyes give it all away.

#trigun stampede #trigun #tristamp #nicholas d. wolfwood #oracle’s art #oraclesandomens #He makes my heart hurt #like really look at the screencaps of him #ever damn one he looks so scared and sad #he might be a grown ass man who acts all wild and vicious #but inside he’s just a scared lost and hurt kid #he’s burdened by guilt and believes he doesn’t deserve happiness #his eyes give it all away #ugh my heart #I made myself sad #SketchbooksAndOmens

[thelone-copper]

A small doodle of Human Colt!

Cw: blood

A bitter end.

(The music I listened to while drawing this and crying)

#Yeah he’s dead💀 #how did he die you ask? idk I just felt like making myself cry so I drew him all dead n shit #but he did lose too much stuffing…and his whole lower half of his body #he’s with Butters now. don’t be too sad #they’re dancing in the fields together in the great beyond :D #welcome home #welcome home oc #welcome home mob au #mob colt cattlemen #welcome home mob au fanart #HES NOT CANONICALLT DEAD BTW IT WAS JUST A LIL DOODLE GUYS DONT KILL ME #human colt cattlemen #colt cattlemen #hurt colt day the squeakquel

[itsrexxyo]

someone’s gonna pay for this.

#and it ain't meeeeeee #cinwin #rwby cinwin #i was feeling angsty tonight #rexxdoods #forgive me but you know i like hurting myself this way :D

[discount-kirishima]

trigun got me crying over spilled donuts

#iykyk be sad with me #we're really in it now boys #trigun #trigun 98 #vashwood #vash the stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #aghhhhh all i know is angst because of them!!!!! #and i havent even read trimax yet!!!! #ik ik im just putting it off cause it makes me sad to even think about akfbskdb #every time i try to start it i remember them on that damn couch #and then im like nvfm why hurt myself like that lmaooo #legit no faster way to make me cry these days #than thinking about that stupid manga panel #trigun fanart #my art 🎨

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[bear-cubs-art-things]

the woes of learning to drive (panicking and going around a car in a 35 instead of slamming on my brakes like I sorta was supposed to do)

#I WANT TO DIIEEEEEE #MY STEPDAD WAS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT AND HES LIKE “dude wtf D:<” I WANT TO CRY AND DIE AND I WANT TO UNEXIST #mostly /j but I'm beating myself up abt this #BUT THE BEST PART IS NO ONE GOT HURT. MIGHTVE BROKEN ONE (1) LAW BUT EVERYONES OKAY #bear rambles

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Opinions on Dream? :^

SO many feelings about him omgg rant under cut please forgive me

okay so i don't really talk or draw him much cause honestly,,,most of the times i just think he's a bit....boring? or more accurately plain? not in a mean way either but just in a 'fades into the background' type of way like don't get me wrong!! he's a really nice friend to his peers, his feelings about his powers and aura making his relationships harder to navigate and trust along with his whole conflict with nightmare and morality about what's good and bad IS very cool!! and i love it whenever they write him to be complex and not on this black and white mentality or when he's just straight up following along his friends with no free will or with a dubious purpose without ever addressing his issues or feelings! it's just unsatisfying to me :')

or when they're making him the 'naive' and oblivious, (sometimes childish?) character being marked as the obstacle and villain along with the other star sanses from the fic's pov, always talking about doing good things while fighting his brother and not hearing him out about the balance, (and for weak reasons most of the time. like it's been so long and you STILL haven't sat down with him when he's, generally, basically begged you to just have a talk? guys please :'( ) or when they go for the victim sad dream always missing the old nightmare, where corrupted nightmare is the incarnation of evil, with no sympathy or emotion except anger and sadistic glee, killing and hurting everyone and dream's just trying to protect the multiverse and dream's always been in the right. such extremes!!!

LIKE!! i hope i'm not the only one that thinks a 500+ year old should have had enough time to idk. learn things? about people and manipulation and deceit? after knowing what the villagers did to night? about the bad things in the world and how there's a lot of grey areas in life and that he maybe reflected on his past enough to process and ask himself if there should to be a convo to settle his differences with nightmare (and you can make nightmare the stubborn one too! or have them BOTH be petty and imperfect and have some things wrong and some right at the same time like why do i always see the good guy vs bad guy cliché with these two when they're the perfect example of why positivity doesn't have meaning without the negativity!! as long as there's a satisfying evolution or growth that doesn't leave me empty i'm good yknow?)

plus i believe dream really isn't as dumb as people view him. i do get some of you saying he probably can't read or write since that's actually a pretty interesting idea to explore! but in general please let him have emotions other than pure sunshiny happiness or endless sadness like he's gotta have more depth than that! let him make mistakes, have flaws that don't just make him the bad guy that's always in the wrong by default, and be angry or suspicious or jealous or bitter or battling his mental health problems/depression or malicious or smart or witty or mischievous and silly or sarcastic or ANYTHING dude i just want him to be put into different scenarios where he can be serious or lighthearted like it doesn't even have to be long or perfect but make him feel real.

it could definitely be that i don't read or see much art about dream or really look for it hard enough but also i just. i feel bad for even saying this fr and i wanna be honest about why i don't enjoy most stories about him cause he always gets the worst treatment along with ink!!! especially ink omg the poor guy has it the worst i think like wow do they mess him up :'(

always one dimensional in non shippy fics, or too plain or easily replaceable by other, more entertaining people in the significant other's life in most of his ships like man. i have read fics out there that made me genuinely FEEL and root for him and love his character so much it restored all hope for me!!! but i can only name one on top of my head and the others? it's been so long i don't even remember their names i just legit feel terrible cause i love him still and i can't find many headcanons that fit my interpretation of him yknow?

not to say people who write him very happy, mislead or sad are ruining him like that's silly- if i see something i don't like i just. move on bro i wouldn't force people to feel or think the same way i do about him cause anyone can have whatever headcanons they want!!! just talking about what i personally look for in him and why i can't exactly find it since most of the stuff out there just isn't my cup of tea :')

hopefully i didn't set anyone off with this rambling opinionated essay i just pulled hhh xD i know i know he's a popular character and i know a lot of people like dream so *sobs* please please recommend me artists and fics about him that you think is good it's been so looong since i've read or seen anything new that makes me attached to this little guy aughg<33333

#ask #rambling #delete later? #probably xD i just wanna love him SO much but sometimes he's just *sigh*...forgettable #i tried to explain myself but also it's like 4 am and i skimmed through the proofreading so don't take this too seriously HHH #like really even when i do read good fics about him he's not on the forefront of my mind and it's painful to me :'( #i used to see him as my third fav but now? ever since i've read and seen characters who get heavier more in depth plots? #i can't say it with as much confidence :') and dream lovers out there i am not bashing your choice or even your headcanons #to each their own but i really wanna hear someone be passionate about him in my feed or askbox like TELL me about him #i've seen ink rants out there that are FIRE like so true!!! but where's the dream defense team??? #maybe it's just me tho :') btw i still like cream but not the same way as before if i'm being real #it feels the same...all of it and it makes me wanna bite something ARGHGG #i know i know i ship some stuff that's basic too hhh but dream and cross are always written the same and dream is too innocent #and nightmare is too weird in some of these fics like if MY brother ever tried to literally attack my hypothetical partner???? #i wouldn't give him the :'((( sad face and weakly tell him to 'please stop...you're hurting him'' like NO girl they're TWINS #they're the same age i would tell him to BACK off and not insert himself in my love life after years of ignoring and fighting LIKE #especially since most of the time cross is actually good to dream and all- so he doesn't have a good reason to disrupt his bro's dates #UGH i just have so many opinions but basically i would love him a lot lot more than i do now if they also let him be more flexible #and shake things up like with shattered and stuff! gimme alternate versions of him even if it's too ooc like we do for all the other sanses #jaa i am SO sorry you had to read all that dude thank you so much for passing by :'D

[ladyimaginarium]

#arcana.uploads #fandom: gangsta. #n e wayz mappa or studio bones when u can pick up gangsta. for the people #the way nina's just. snuggling in theo's coat has me going fucking feral #@ cover 2: where's my son diego !! delico looking emo as always ily + oh doug my poor son qwq #arthur & lancelot are so precious i wanna tear myself in half #the way galahad looks like a proud dad & how joel looks at connie will forever fuck me up..... #erica just. leaning on ivan's lap & watching over mikhail has me running around in circles to insanity i need a lobotomy #sig colt & the rest of the destroyers look so. comfy. sitting on those skulls. g-d that's gotta hurt the ass lmao + beretta being an icon #forever salty that we seemingly might never get a second season or like. even just cursed & not seeing minimi or maverick AGLJAGALJAGGALJ

[knowlesian]

quick indulging in some stede angst while i procrastinate on finishing my piece on e5

i’m consistently fucked up over the blacked out form that used to be stede in the family portrait, and the metaphor it provides about the way stede handled his life and trauma: everything’s pretend. he’s not truly there, he’s living a story in his head in ways both lovely and inadvertently cruel.

lovely: looking at the world and demanding it bend to his delusional belief things could ever be other than they are. that it could be better.

inadvertently cruel: leaving mary and the kids (leaving ed) to wonder: was it me? if i was better, if i had been kinder or a more supportive wife, a better behaved child or a co-captain with less baggage or a better man, would he have stayed? would i have been worth staying for?

stede’s got a whole basketful of reasons he leaves without explaining why in both cases. but he does leave, and he doesn’t explain: those actions ripple out and hurt the people he leaves.

but also, we know stede’s general self-worth is under the fucking ground!!! less than zero!!! he has absolutely no inkling that his absence might affect someone just as much as his presence. he thinks: i am a burden people suffer. when i remove myself from their lives, i am ultimately making those lives easier, in heartbreaking part because he cannot imagine a world in which somebody actually wants him around.

i know i’m a big old hippie and a reconciliation will come faster than we might think truther, but goddamn i just want ed and stede to have the mutual validation moment! because ed needs to hear “it was never about not wanting you or not wanting to be with you, it was a gross cocktail of trauma and old fears and chauncey being a walking nightmare in so, so many ways” from stede and stede needs to hear “you leaving me? fucked me up real good in ways we may need to do some work to overcome, but only because you are somebody i always want to be around, even when things are not pleasant and conflict-free, all forever-like” from ed asa-fucking-p.

#look i love me some angst but like. i want these two to be back on the same page so much i could leap into the sun over it #this is my hopeful pirate show about: what if life could be better and people kinder #and ultimately i ask myself: what do ed and stede actually want #to punish each other for harm done or to find a way to heal and move forward #i’m super biased because i think that shit is just a waste of time and weird jesus shit in a party hat #why demand people who hurt you hurt in turn? how is more pain ever the answer? etc #it feels good in the same way mickey d’s fries taste good #piping hot: lowkey addictive #once the immediate rush fades and the fries cool: suddenly they taste lowkey gross #punishing people feels right for reasons i try to identify in myself and fight against #i try and remind myself cruelty can never ever be the point #or i’m just everything i hate with better policy positions etc

[sysig]

Lose myself to you (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #ZEX #The Captain #Vent?? Maybe?? #I've been having something of a rough time of it lately so I actually broke and made myself some SCII hurt/comfort for a change of pace #I almost never make hurt/comfort - more of a whump creator haha ♪ - but yeah I needed it #It ended up just being a short little 1.6k jaunt but I did do it all in one sitting and got some needed emotions out so thank you these two #I think it's also my first vent fic :0 So that's interesting! #As well as the first one that I inserted images into! I've been wanting to for a while but I never have! I know how to now! :D #Constantly thinking about how oddly on equal footing these two are despite being so different #It makes the way they differ so interesting! #They're both important figures in their respective military forces and yet the Captain is so young! #Not only a lack of experience leading to the blows hitting him harder proportionally but also just - that's just how teenage human brains do #(If the Captain is still a teen - it's gotten very stuck to me that he hasn't quite turned 20 yet haha) #But again again even still he's a very young and new adult - there's a lot of chemistry going on in his brain that makes the job hard #And so having ZEX as a partner and a mentor - it creates a weird dynamic! It's interesting to me #ZEX /is/ definitely weird towards the Captain haha but past a certain point he really does only have so much power over him #And I just like it better when he guides him over trying to control him <3 Usually anyway lol - in this instance for sure #Their weird dynamic being a source of comfort and escape ♥ Of ZEX being gentle with him while still working to his own ends haha #ZEX is such an interesting character; he's hard to classify and I like that about him very much

[xysidhequeen]

Me: The migraines are getting better! :D

The Migraines: No the fuck we are not

Me, in pain: They’re. Getting. Better.

The Migraines: Suffer

Me: If I say it enough, it'll be true

#shit post #almoat 800 people are following me you all get to suffer for it :D #no but I have migraines every day #i wake up with them consistently #after an hour or two they go away for a bit #usually after Ive been awake 5 hours they come back #I can only take so many different OTC headache meds before it becomes dangerous #like #I already gave myself ulcers because of it #which #seriously ulcers dont even register on my pain scale i didnt even know I had them #the migraines arent my only issue just the one people have the easiest time understanding typically #theres also the light headedness #the near fainting sometimes when I wake up and move #the consistent nausea thats been around so long my hunger cues are permanently fucked up #the concerning weakness and general aches everywhere #BUT #my migraines dont feel AS BAD as they did over the weekend #SO THATS GOOD #its hurts rn though but it waited awhile to get to 'my skull is slowly fracturing' level so im proud of my body #also dont tell me to drink water I drink more water in a day than my entire generation does in a week im VERY hydrated

[hungerpunch]

૮ • ﻌ - ა

i forgot to tell y'all that in between the great storage unit clean out and the flood, i got my nose pierced :D

i also took the time to get my lip piercing switched out from titanium to gold after having it for 14 (!) years and now i feel like my face matches the rest of my jewelry :)

rly pleased with it ! my piercing artist was a tiny gothic polish woman named rita who i instantly fell in love with, ofc. i go back to see her in four weeks for downsizing the post and then in a few months, i'll switch to a hoop which i'm really excited for!! also might fuck around and get additional nose or ear piercings when i go back for the downsizing, idk. i forgot how nice it is to have a body mod option that is so cheap compared to tattoos!

#pics to be deleted at some point since i'm a lil more paranoid these days but #yeah it's like the only thing i've done for myself in the past couple months :'D #scratches the body mod itch quite nicely #honestly i think nostril hurt worse than my lip did! but it was over quickly. #my lyfe

[keeps-ache]

DARN, missed it again! 2nd anniversary of being a they/themer :D

#just me hi #i should cue a post for next year cuz i just Keep missing it hfhsv #cool though!! two years of queer yeah babyyy #i now have it/its but they/them was where i started hehe :> #i've considered neos but you know i think they'd be a bit much for me lol #character customization Truly #//i am NOT missing this blog's birthday. proooollyyyy hghfsh #these aren't such huge things but i like to know things have happened hfsh :3 #these are two things i really only celebrate on here so i've just Gotta say it :33 #//anyway i've been listening to the radio a lot (did i say that? i think i told you that some weeks ago lmao) and it's Funnn (mostlyyy) :D #yes they play the same 15 songs over and over and i'm starting to learn all the words to even the most unremarkable ones but that's part of #the Fun :DD #been listening to it because once in a while they play a song i already have in my playlist (yayy !!) or a song that i like (which then goe #in the Playlist (yayy !!)) that and it supplies a background track to whatever i'm talking about with my siblings which is funny at times #/imagine. you've slipped up. a secret of another's you were never supposed to know was mentioned by accident. so instead of #trying to excuse yourself from guilt you admit to knowing even More. the person you're speaking to is betrayed confused and overall upset. #and you're trying to get in contact with a ghost to give you pointers. it's not great. in the background Lovin On Me is playing #that's how our games have been going hfhsvhf #/i let them play in the plots of my stories sometimes and it's So Ridiculous Dude #i've had to ban specific organs from their characters because they were being wretched little beings. it Was funny though i'll not deny hfh #they've tormented shye + weirded out oath + killed and been killed many times #there were a couple times i saw genuine horror on their faces and i am living on that i'm ngl hfhsvbhs #like the horse thing! it would take a sec to explain so i won't go into it but oh i hurt myself laughing Lolll (it was dark but it was stil #funny hfbvs) #//OH i've gtg now lol -- #ciao ciao see you somewhere later from now !! :D