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pompadourpink · 1 year

Note

Bonjour! I just saw the ask of the lost 17 year old and I cant help but feel like Im in a similar position. I'm 28 years old and I feel like I shouldve figured out what I want to do in life. I feel like I wasted my 20s on simply going with the flow and "ill figure it out later" mentality. I've also recently been fired from a job I should love but after three months I found so boring. I stayed there for a year just to get some exeprience. Now that Im unemployed again I get rejected over and over again and feel so useless. Even for jobs Im excited about the passion fizzles, and I dont even know what I want to do. Or what I'm even good at anymore.

Hello dear,

Dr Write too much, PhD, is back in the office, woohoo!

One, you're not supposed to have an epiphany one night and find out what your calling is. You don't have one. You're not a machine. You're a brain in a meat suit and you came without instructions, which means you don't have a function. Capitalism put us in this position. Existing is enough, and work is a human invention - food and shelter originally didn't have a price tag. We tend to think of the Ancient Greeks as the most advanced, wisest civilisation there's ever been. Do you think they wondered about what their manager is going to say if they dodged their phone call at 9pm on Friday or lost sleep over getting ghosted on Tinder? No, they had a lot of wine, a lot of bread, a lot of sex, and walked around in beautiful gardens with their companions. And they didn't feel bad about it. Why would they?

Two, you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want. Storytime!

When I went to Rome for my birthday back in 2018, I bumped into a Colosseo guide named Tahar who was around my boomer father's age and so happy to make a friend he started telling me about his life over breakfast, how he had studied physics, loved the stars, never had a family so he travelled a lot, had been in Rome for about a month, and gotten the job by hanging out around the Colosseo and having little talks with other guides in French, English, Arabic and broken Italian until their boss decided to hire him just because he was friendly. He even confessed that at night, he would go and have a drink in fancy bars to try and find tourists to sell tours to at a higher price so he could pocket the difference.

At the time, I was nearly 26, ten days away from leaving a terrible minimum-wage job, had lived in the same area of the country my whole life and the same city for 8 years, had a recently broken heart and was still recovering from a severe case of mononucleosis that is still to this day the worst pain I've ever felt.

I didn't stay in touch with Tahar because he got flirty and started insinuating that it wasn't too late for him to settle down and have a kid or two while holding my hands and that was not going to happen. However, I still think about him once in a while, when I catch myself being paralysed by fear of the unknown.

My guy had nothing, no house, furniture, wife, kids, local friends, parents, savings, was paid to ramble about history and make jokes in the sunshine, lived paycheck to paycheck; and he was happy, tanned, eating fruit and drinking wine with a huge smile on his face nella bella Roma, kilometres away from thinking of himself as a failure. He was doing exactly what he wanted, and where, and when, and with whom, and while he clearly wasn't a role model, he is the one person I have ever met who lived life on his own terms and is 100% going to die without regrets.

Three, take a step back. I talked about it recently but it is vital that we calm down and stop chasing numbers and short-lived adrenaline. Go spend a day outside, at the beach, in the countryside, the mountains - it doesn't matter, just away from home, and lay down, relax, and listen to what the world has to say to you. We all love to think that happiness is our number one priority, but it is rarely the case - I hinted about it in the 17-year-old post: if you think of your perfect day and compare it to your current circumstances, those two lists would be very different. We keep talking to people who make us miserable, eating stuff that gives us tumtum aches, wearing shoes that hurt our feet, and wonder why we are upset and can't sleep well.

And I'm guilty of that too. I have always had that mental image of the seaside, a walk on the beach, the sun, a dog, lavender ice cream, a man and a couple of kids running around, and then home, a movie, a blanket, the fire. I don't have any of that. I live in a very grey city, alone with my geriatric cat, working all day long, not knowing where to go, changing my mind constantly, thinking maybe I should just stay here and keep saving money for a house, drowning in my routines like a little hamster on a wheel. I love my life, but I'm not satisfied yet, because like you, my 20s were spent differently, and now I'm trying to catch up a little.

The truth is that I'll never be where my former classmates who took a different path are, but they will also never be where I am. They have more regrets than me. They look at my life, my freedom, my absence of morning alarm, my joy, my projects, my head full of dreams, and they envy me. I am *that girl* who spent an hour this morning looking up how to move to Barcelona as an entrepreneur within the Schengen space. You are her too, people just won't tell you.

So what do you do now? You find a part-time job you're not going to hate and won't have to take home at night so you can pay bills, you look for your joy until you find it, you explore your interests, figure out your goals, maybe see if you have a (current or potential future) skill you could use to start a side-business, alone or with another person, whether it's baking or tailoring, that you could do routinely without hating yourself after a while, and spend your free time doing exactly what you want. If it fails, the end of the road is very far away and you can always try again.

It won't be a waste of time. That's not how time works.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

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mc-park · 2 years

Text

xiao fanfic idea (based on the 2.7 chasm quest)

REQUESTING FOR ANY BORED GENSHIN WRITERS TO WRITE THIS!!!

hello i dont have any energy to rewrite all my fanfiction ideas for this quest bc i made this long ass post abt it in detail but it didnt save and now i feel so hollow and numb. im going through every stage of grief right now, currently at stage 4, depressed.

all i ask is for xiao chasm content. please. i beg. SOMEONE, LITERALLY ANYONE PLEASE MAKE XIAO FOUND FAMILY CONTENT

and then put him through an indescribable amount of pain and turmoil as he fails to accept his yaksha friends are dead and faces the slow realization he has no family, other than zhongli, left.

please help me relieve some of this pain by reblogging or tagging your favorite writers in the comments and writing down your xiao x reader chasm ideas (also in the comments) for their inspiration ...ill join too once im done crying over all of my work disappearing

for now i'll just share a few of my daydreams at its most basic level and hope to god somewhere in the world a genshin writer will take this idea and bring it to life

(2.7 spoilers utc)

yaksha found family + reader witnessing all of it, being an outsider as another weaker yaksha.

where you, unaware of the suffering and pain that comes with the responsibility of being one of the five yakshas, hope to get an ounce of understanding for them like they do with one another, hoping to be part of what seems like a "family."

yearning to gain even a bit of that familial warmth, you glance over to observe them on the sidelines and smile at the sounds of their contagious laughter directed at xiao's now fully-painted face.

as years pass by, you watch in horror as each yaksha slowly succumbs to the darkness of their karma one by one, never returning to that bright family dynamic they forgot about.

finally, when xiao, the youngest of all of them, the only one remaining, tries to recover from the loss of valiant warriors he considered his siblings, you console him, experiencing a pain similar to his. both of you support one another awaiting the day you can reunite with the rest of the yakshas again.

this can really extend as much as it wants to starting off w wholesome shenanigans and then angst to possible hurt comfort or just you and xiao wailing in pain together. i love a good slow burn so thats my personal request, like each paragraph written above can be extended to a whole post and split up into a whole series, but really its up to whoever wants to take up my challenge to make it however they want.

xiao and reader dynamic:

in this case i feel like xiao bonds with reader where they feel this mutual emptiness but in different kinds of ways.

you feel alone in the world, you feel excluded from the rest of the yakshas, you long for something you don't have and haven't had in a long time, for that bond that effortlessly ties the five yakshas together. despite being surrounded by so many people you constantly feel like not one of them understands.

you want to be with anyone as long as it's someone. but you have no one. there are so many thoughts, feelings and emotions but there's no one to share them with no one who cares enough to listen. you wish for what the yaksha's have, the family they built on their mutual suffering and joys, where they all understand each others pain because they all share the same experiences.

you feel like no matter how kind or nice or strong and heroic you are or can train to be nobody thinks to call or ask anything of you, its this numbing feeling that prods in your chest at the loneliest and quietest of days, it's not like they're outwardly avoiding you, quite the opposite. they tell you to join, but however close you are to them you still feel distant, and when you part for your more meagre duties compared to their wider scale dangerous tasks, the rift between you and the family increases.

you don't feel upset, nor do you feel hurt, if anything you feel acceptance. it's normal. at times you feel gratitude; a warm feeling bubbling inside whenever they come to talk to you. happiness; whenever you see their doting towards one another, their dumb pranks and stupid jokes.

as an outsider, a weaker yaksha, you watch the adepti you've looked up to for so long from a distance and internally relish in the joy of their shared happiness.

whereas xiao is longing for something he's had before but can't do anything to get back, its this feeling of hopelessness and this agonizing need to go back to how things were, how he was before. he's distraught with the frustration and regret of not being able to get back what was lost and never being able to experience anything similar to it again. its sporadic. sudden. when the yaksha's slowly disappear, after years of investing in them from afar you end up feeling this way too, this same hole in your chest, this unshakable itch at the back of your mind that won't go away. the bond that you hoped to join, the joy you've observed for so long and the happiness you secretly chewed off of no longer exists.

now that you and xiao are the last yaksha left, perhaps you can form a new bond over your losses together.

THIS IS JUST FOR INSPO ON HOW TO WRITE THEM BTW!! do it literally however u want i just thought this would be really cool and emotional to write cuz like theres readers loneliness built up over the years and then theres xiaos mourning and that sudden period of grief and then the awkward sort of mutual sadness they feel in the end

family dynamic inspo:

xiao being the temperamental, more self centered youngest and bosacius acting as the more protective self-sacrificing eldest brother. followed by indarius (pyro yaksha) the second oldest almost mom-like, bubbly and loud friend, the walmart zhongli as the mediator, calm middle child and bonanus (hydro yaksha) as the second youngest, possessing a more timid, polite and shy aura.

a sample of how he may feel:

and when xiao is left alone, he tries to remember all his happiest memories with each of his friends. he longs for them, he longs for the past so much that it hurts. he wants to be his old self, to get rid of this aching loneliness but as each happy memory flashes by, he spirals into a deeper pit of sadness and activates this haunting feeling in his heart that feels like something is missing. recounting the memories of his loved ones, he swears that this will never happen to anyone close to him again. even at the cost of his own life. in the midst of his vulnerability, he unknowingly engrains that very same savior complex his leader, no, his brother bosacius once had.

---

im sorry if there are grammar mistakes and stuff i rushed this really short idea bc i was busy trying to remember what i wrote before tumblr decided to reload and DELETE all of my work just bc it was in a silly goofy mood

ANYWAY SOMEONE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE A FIC ABT THIS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANT SOME OF THAT JUICY JUICY JUICY DELICIOUS LORE

STARVED XIAO LOVERS UNITE! PLEASE TAG ALL OF THE GENSHIN WRITERS YOU LOVE AND BOUNCE OFF OTHER IDEAS, NOT JUST THIS ONE, IN THE COMMENTS!!

or reblog if you want to see someone make this themselves.

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malwar-e · 9 months

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If you do not like what other people like, then this is not a reason to insult them.

You must distinguish the real world from fiction. If you can't do that, can you stop using social media, please? Why can't you just NOT watch posts tagged "Beluz" if you're so easily hurt by drawings?

Do you really want so badly to draw other people's attention to the fact that you do not like something that they like? Or do you think that if you insult them, then something will change?

Just don't interact with people whose content you don't like. Do yourself and them a favor

hey bucko, you seem to be lacking some braincells, so let me shed some light on that dark, empty brain of yours! 🙂

see, this is how the internet functions, bud! i make an opinion post on things i find that really grind my gears, as most people do on social media! before said post, i did not actively seek out any beluz posts. in fact, i have done my damn best to avoid them. a beluz supporter came on MY post, basically begging for attention at that rate.

you see, champ, what you dont seem to understand is that fiction bleeds into reality very often! take that one slenderman case, for example. yknow the one. that was caused by, you guessed it, fiction!

i do not actively engage with beluz shippers, i am primarily nonconfrontational! but theres a difference when someone who tries to defend it comes forward, clinging on to the mindset that 'fiction is fiction', which can be correct in some cases! when someone uses silly headcanons for a character that doesnt actively harm anyone, fiction is fiction! its a character, usually headcanons come from a form of projection in most cases.

however, bringing in pedophilia into the mix is when shit gets weird. y'see, pedophilia in all forms is wrong, something everyone is taught at a young age. common sense, right? when you take a young character and try to ship them with a much older, mature character, its obviously not right. everyone is aware of this.

fiction is just the projection of reality. i mean, realistically, if you saw a young girl dating an older man, you would be disgusted, wouldnt you? so why is it different within fiction? ill answer it for you, because people believe they can hide behind the face of fiction to condone their disgusting actions. pedophilia is pedophilia, regardless! see, get this, according to the Section 1466A of Title 18, United State Code, it's illegal for any person to knowingly produce, distribute, receive, or possess with intent to transfer or distribute visual representations, such as drawings, cartoons, or paintings that appear to depict minors engaged in sexually explicit conduct and are deemed obscene.

and that's just in america. it is ALSO illegal in the UK and Canada and many more countries! fiction does affect reality. many insults are warranted here in this situation, because news flash, pedophiles and those who encourage pedophilia are disgusting!

please get a grip, hope this helped, buckaroo! <33

#i had to dumb it down for you #youre welcome #youre all freaks #beluz #toh #the owl house #anti beluz #valid argument #but unfortunately #pipebomb

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deafeninggardenerpanda · 1 year

Text

proper post on the Thing™. tws for grooming mention and nsfw mentions im sure everyone gets the drill. im kinda obligated here to make a full reply since i was involved with the issue but Hopefully there wont be another post on this matter. if anyone has issues about what i say/think i didnt address something, talk to me in private yea im more than willing to listen and exchange views. i consulted with several people to make this post in the first place

i havent been keeping up with every response under the sun but i did see opal and blue-jester and some other people in positions of responsibility apologize, so im not gonna rag on them or go on and on about "they should know better!!" because they already know that now. instead ill talk about why i did what i did and why i thought what i did

yep i called opal a groomer at one point. oops thats on me and i shouldnt have thrown around a serious term and accusation like that without getting a better grasp on the situation. lets get that out of the way

to start, how the situation played out was i got an anon saying that i was mentioned in a callout post mtthrw made.

i dont know who sent this ask and it doesnt particularly matter. i just went to go check out the post, which was public and tagged with the main tags. this was not something given to me in private which i decided to spread publicly. first of all it was still in its 242 page glory and had minors discord ids and a lot of peoples discord developer ids (the string of numbers connected to your account that you cant change) on it. i wanted to boost the post eventually, but i was aware that i shouldnt boost something with that kind of information on it, so i dm'd the person who created the doc and gave them my suggestions first (i was the reason why the doc was shortened down to 54 pages later, for example).

they said theyd keep the former doc on the post as well, but i thought they wouldve taken out the developer ids and discord ids of minors in that one too. to be honest i dont know the extent they censored on either document, i was busy talking to other people (like quakey and another adult involved in the callout doc) at this time and then the docs got taken down before i could see them again. also note that i definitely shouldve asked them to censor the names of minors In General and not just the ids, so again, sorry, thats on me. anyways continuing with the actual events that happened, i made a vaguepost warning people to block the "negative" tag if they didnt want to see drama. (unrelated but yeah, also my bad for calling it tea/drama instead of taking it more seriously. i apologized for it after getting an anon about it later.) when i made the vaguepost i got a ton of people asking what was up, so i dm'd them.

i dm'd five people in total for this, all of which except for one or two i considered friends. that said, i have no clue how many people got access to this doc directly because of the people i shared it with. i made a lot of careless and irresponsible mistakes in my handling this, and im sorry for that. but for reasons ill cover in more detail as this post goes on, i dont think the person who made the doc had malicious intent or meant to cause harm to the minors involved.

yall see all the apologizing i just did right, now its time for me to state my case on why i seriously thought opal was a groomer at the time i called her one. btw im not gonna work to cover mtthrws ass on this, thats something they can and should make a comment on on their own.

for some reason some people think that i called opal a groomer because i personally dont like them or have personal beef with them which. Dude?? no?? i dont go around calling people groomers because of petty bullshit. as i said before, i dont know how many people saw this doc itself. i dont know how many people are commenting on this based on context other people are posting only. the doc was not up for that long, so i want to make it clear the ways opal was shown acting in the screenshots provided. this is not to send harassment or to rag on her, shes since stated she will change how she deals with these matters in the future and i am aware of that.

excuse me for not having the screenshots to back my words up (or if i do the screenshots are mad compressed), or not having complete recollection of the exact parties involved. as said ofc the doc was taken down, im reciting this to the best of my recollection, but i think people who saw the doc themselves will be able to back me up on a good portion of this at least. during the magowhore saga, there were a lot of people who came up to opal with their concerns regarding her interaction with minors and the suggestive content she was posting, as shown by her posting the anon asks she got in the planet-popstar discord. both these screenshots and her (as well as some other adults in the server) reactions to them were recorded in the doc.

types of reactions she had were; saying they're just jokes; (joking about it in itself); it was magolors fault for being horny, not her*; thats just how magolors character is; there's a difference between a character and the person writing it so she doesn't need to take responsibility (second screenshot below); (when initially getting vagueposted about her irresponsibility regarding the magowhore saga) lamenting about how people who she liked or looked up to had liked the vaguepost/agreed that she was being irresponsible (first screenshot below); directing blame onto kirbypurrs; assuming people sending her asks with concerns were part of kirbypurrs' clique** and thus disregarded them; called asks with concerns hatemail; deflecting responsibility onto minors if they saw or were interacting with her content; said that people who had concerns about her interactions with minors should just block if they dont like it; being extremely aggressive about people coming up to her with concerns in general; saying that people getting on her ass for the whole magowhore saga was breaking her stride/lamenting about how all this had to happen right as she thought she was finally getting somewhere

and, while not opal saying these next things specifically, i thought these were notable enough to mention about that servers culture: there were people around her advising her to not say anything publicly and to just lie low and wait until this whole thing blew over because people would accuse her of deflecting responsibility if she just said it was magolors fault again, and people called anyone who came up to her with concerns "purity culture nuts" and that they needed to stop infantizing minors

and of course, we cant forget about the stuff in the document not concerning the magowhore saga, like talking about kinks in front of minors or knowing minors were reading/seeing suggestive stuff and letting it happen, as well occasionally talking to minors about suggestive things directly. and her knowing that there were minors in the server, some people who she was speaking to were minors, and people in the community were uncomfortable with her behavior around minors

*yeah i know magolor is her headspace buddy or something of the sort. still not remotely okay to effectively put your legs up about the whole affair because its not Really you doing it

**i got shittalked in this server too btw (by blue-jester and one other person) because ppl assumed i was part of purrs' clique. which, rude i havent spoken to or interacted with them in like 6 months. no clue why people are so rabid about purrs all the time.

with all that said, my point here is that i do not believe it was out of line in the slightest to believe that opal would not have listened to or taken peoples concerns seriously if asked directly, considering her stubbornness and aggressiveness about the situation for so long. i considered this behavior and her unwillingness to change or do whats appropriate as guilt and maliciousness by aggressive inaction, and her aggressiveness on the topic in general led me to believe she was going to continue this behavior for as long as she could get away with it. i understand why mtthrw thought this warranted a callout and needed more eyes on it for things to change. thats not to say i dont think they shouldnt have at least tried to settle this with the involved people in private beforehand, but i think people have downplayed what opal did (or at the very least, i havent seen anyone comment on the sheer extent of her stubbornness regarding this like above) in favor of getting up in arms against mtthrw for calling opal a groomer when they arent. which again, yeah yeah i know its totally fair to get upset at them for that + the leaking minors names thing, but the thing thats baffling me here is that i keep hearing people say mtthrw wanted minors to be hurt by making that doc. i think this was a callout post made with good intentions--mtthrws openness with hearing out and taking suggestions and concerns with the doc when i initially came up to them about it said a lot--but handled rather badly and needing a lot more peer review before being posted publicly.

thats really my view on this.

also for the record, since some people think this conflict is a "we need to protect the pure teenages who cant handle hearing the word 'penis' uwu" issue, its not. im not an idiot, i know people get into all that stuff before theyre properly of age all the time. its practically a teenager rite of passage, frankly id be more surprised if they didnt get into that somehow. my issue has always, always been concerns with minors and adults engaging in suggestive talk in the same space. i literally could not give less of a shit if it were two 15 or 16 year olds talking about sex together in a server of only minors. opal is a college graduate, 21+. the minors interacting with her were 15-17. the adults in that server didnt groom them, but acceptance of that behavior leaves those minors wide-open to being okay with similar scenarios with people who don't have good intentions in the future.

i myself used to consume nsfw content as young as 15. coincidently, i was also a hardcore proshipper and impressionable kid at this time, who thought they knew what they were doing and always had all the answers. i wasnt groomed or anything, but those experiences affected me. i interacted with adults in suggestive and inappropriate ways looking back at it, just like this situation. my former experiences (and the fact that some stuff the adults in that server said, such deflecting responsibility onto minors even if theyre in the same convo as adults, and calling anyone who disagreed with them purity culture nuts, closely reflects some proshipper arguments) led me to jump the gun on believing there was malicious intent from the adults in that server. so again, im sorry and take full responsibility for being so rash in my actions. i sincerely hope all involved parties learn from this and be better in the future, including myself. i've never wanted minors to be hurt from this. to people in my own discord server, i hope that my own rules regarding suggestive talk/content, even despite my server already being 17+ on its own, show that this is a topic ive always cared about and taken seriously. i do not want people to make the same mistakes i did

as ive said before, theres a line in which minors take responsibility for consuming this content. if a kid purposely lies about their age to get access to 18+ material, that's on them. if a kid is openly engaging in suggestive and innappropiate talks with adults, even as a joke, thats on the adults.

by the way, on the point of accidently hurting minors, would anyone mind filling me in on why i keep hearing people say minors will get harassed from this? i talked to like 5 people about it and literally no one had a clue. as far as i know, the two sides on this issue are "the minors were victims and the adults were at fault" and "the minors did nothing wrong because they chose to interact with the material", neither of which warrant any grievances against the minors involved. like /gen /srs if anyone knows fill me in because i am lost on why in the world people would attack the affected party

#negative #*gardening noises*#tw grooming #and before anyone says it yes i know that doc was flawed in many ways #but i thought what was there was more than damning enough #considering she also acted like stated on main #ALSO if it needed to be said. i am not mtthrws buddy or know them in any way #someone accused me of being mtthrw in private and like. no #im not even in that server and i dont have the time to make a 242 page doc #and also also if it needed to be said yeah a fucking lot of the adults in the server are at fault #im just not focusing on that because thats not mostly who the callout post was about #and jester is a whole other thing now since they confirmed theyre a minor #okay do we have our bases covered? yeah?

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sojutrait · 1 year

Text

its a long one lads

( @aomi-nabi ) THANK U AAAAAAAAA ur asks always make my day omg 😭😭❤❤❤

THE WALK WITH ME IS SENDING ME KFKJFDGFGK so far we’ve also canonized him death dropping so i can really see his ass doing both-

nothings going on dw ive just been busy dkfjdfk 😭😭

TYYYY RIGHT BACK AT U MWAHH

( @deathbypufferfish ) death by pufferfish . com

( @astralsi ) I CAME BACK JUST FOR U MAMA MWAAAHHH 🤧🤧❤❤❤

( @lava-nder ) ngl my sims rarely even interact with townies made by the game kfgjfk 😭😭 if i do notice my sim getting close to a townie (.ie nadine or josh) THEN i’ll give them a makeover, but other than that i just ignore them or put in my own townies kdfjk as for lots, i just build my own or place down any new ones once i realize ive been to a lot too many times and want to switch it up

GATIA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REAL i love oshin sm omg, been with her since her get famous lp 😌

( @lake-lunvik ) YOU ARE SUCH A HORNDOG LIO SDJFKDFJKF

HELPPPFKFDK im not surprised, during homelandertrait halloween takeover i was ready to lose some followers 😭😭😭

( @mmusicalwhims ) thank u so much !! 🤧❤❤❤❤ i should bring back that username tbh it was kinda iconic KDFJKFD

( @wildmeadowsims ) (link) AAAAAAA I SAW im not really a concert person but im excited to see everyones recording of it dkfjfkfkg and i heard she was adding more international dates eventuallly so fingers crossed !!!

ive never had that problem god bless KFDJK but i think u can turn off auto mean interactions with mcc so theres a temporary solution

the randomize button is my beloved

THIS ASK MADE ME GET OFF MY ASS AND FINALLY ORDER A MIC SO SOON IF I DONT PUSSY OUT DKJFKGF

( @velvet-disc ) TYYYY take them, they’re too much for me to handle anyways 🗿

( @25dejulho ) it depends on the save, but usually i start in another simmers save (my faves are ratboysims and simlicys), either build a house or find a shell off the gallery and decorate it myself, make a fam, then make some townies, give them all skills, careers, etc. just so theyre not like- newborns THEN start playing dkfjk its hella overkill and takes hours but thats how i do it 😭😭😭 tbh u dont even gotta do all that, u can just start in the aforementioned saves by other simmers and start ur own sims from scratch dkfjfgkj

( @catladyfinds ) hi!! i try to keep my cheating pretty minimal, but theres no like- hard fast rules i do. i never cheat money just bc i think its boring for my sims to be hella rich skfjkgfgk but at the same time, if they have to pee and the toilet is 3 stories up then ill just say fuck it and cheat it 😭😭 so my rule is pretty much, quick lil cheating of needs is fine, but nothing that would make the game too easy or unrealistic

currently its cas and gameplay! but im hoping to get bit by the building bug again bc i have some ideas dkffkfg

aaahhh, idk really i get hella attached to 90% of the sims i make instantly 😭

( @chlosimly ) TYYYYY 😭😭😭❤❤ its all the cc makers not me KFDJKF

(referring to the non-canon halabi death i overruled) SEE its so depressing and dark i dont even wanna say it 😭😭😭 ITS OKAY, THAT TIMELINE NEVER HAPPENED I INTERVENED

see i take offense to this bc the charm family is ugly as hell 🥴🥴

thank you!!! 😭😭❤❤❤

HELP i dont want to be too annoying so i try to keep the soju shut up posts to a minimum but im glad u like them 😭😭❤❤ im a chronic complainer so theres more where that came from dkfkff

i didnt wanna use her last name in the tag in case she got married and changed it 😭😭 same kinda with her first name, lord knows i cant resist family gameplay so i wanted something that could still work if i ever post from her future kids pov!

THE WAY THAT POST IS STILL FLAGGED TOO UGHHH

( @starterflowers ) thank u so much !! i also think hes pretty awesome kfdkfgk u have a great day/night as well ! 💕💕💕

*jumps then falls flat on my ass*

in theory 😌

REAL i need him as an actual tangible person i can slap around (affectionately)

i dont think its a specific part, more so just trying to make someone who doesnt look bland 😭😭 if a sim is too cookie cutter ik i wont feel any emotion for them kfkgfk

i actually liked how evermore/folklore had no hype! the surprise made the whole thing more special, like i lookback at those releases fondly dkjfkd now- yeah she def overhyped midnights 🗿🗿🥴🥴 this roll out has been so lackluster and so help me god if we get another anti-hero remix im gonna snap

#asks #anon #aomi-nabi #deathbypufferfish #astralsi #lava-nder #lake-lunvik #mmusicalwhims #wildmeadowsims #velvet-disc #25dejhulo #catladyfinds #chlosimly #starterflowers

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pansyfemme · 2 years

Text

[ID: Two Images.

Image 1: A colored pencil drawing done on green toned paper. The image has a select color pallete, with the main tones in the image being pink, magenta, crimson, greyish green, a very pale light green, and a deep viridian. Six characters interact at a party. In closest veiw, a face of a smiling person with butterfly locs and glasses takes up a large part of the bottom corner of the image. Moving back, two people, a pink haired pale person, and a south asian man with forearm crutches lounge on a couch. The man seems to be the center of the page, and is smiling, others around him appearing to be laughing at something he said. He has a star shaped symbol covering one of his eyes. Behind the couch, another man with shaggy white hair and a phalloplasty scar stands frozen, holding a drink. He is looking at the lounging man, and he also has a star covering one of his eyes. Behind them, two women, a hijabi wearing a shirt that reads ‘butch dyke’ and a black woman wearing pink overalls talk. All of the people stand in an apartment, the walls covered in paintings as well as a large fireplace. End Image Description 1.

Image 2: An edited, saturated image of a white decora boy. He has slightly curly yellow hair pulled up into ponytails, the sides shaved down, and the bangs exploding with clips. He is wearing a shirt with a colorful anime girl on it, a hawaian shirt over it, and a suspendered skirt with clouds and cows on it, with a visible petticoat underneath. He is wearing several large kandi cuffs on each arm and easily a dozen plastic chained necklaces. He has bright pink blush and loud makeup and a bandaid on his nose. He is posing to the mirror with his phone, making heart signs with his fingers on the back of his phone case as he holds it. End Image Description 2. ]

Jude. 18. Transsexual ^_^. He/Him only. White. Cripplepunk Decora boy, FemFag Cartoonist, Massive Twee Pop/Anorak Fan, Lover of greasy vegan food, absurdism and fountain pens. I’ve been mentally ill on here once or twice, ngl.

Aesthetic posts are usually queued in advance, everything else is whenever i feel like it. this is just to keep my blog from drifting too far away from the balance i try to keep it at. (at least half aesthetic posts.) I don’t keep to any specific aesthetic, i dip into many different tags, but you’ll see a lot of jfashion, nostalgia, old web, neons, water and tropical stuff, glitter, stickers, sanrio, tokidoki, gachapon, art toys, food, and anything i feel fits. I also try to post whatever songs im into atm. ^_^

DNIs don’t really work for me, i find that people follow me no matter what i say, so i prefer to block. However, if you look for dnis to see if im a safe space, i’m inclusionist of just about any identity you can think of, and im very against proshippers. If you have questions about my opinions, you’re welcome to send me an ask, but if you send me bait or transphobic or otherwise weird shit, im going to delete it, its better for my followers and for me if i dont openly invite gross people onto my blog.

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daedalusdavinci · 2 years

Note

never say i never do anything for the ask games. riddlebat or bruharv for the ship thing

iiim gonna do r/ddlebat bc bruharv has too many layers to just lump into the same post i think and also this is more likely to wind up in the r/ddlebat tag on accident

send me a ship and ill tell you

who hogs the duvet

bruce. the man needs his pressure and weighted blankets

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

edward. he texts bruce like. constantly. and its really annoying. hes been insufferable ever since he figured out bruce was batman

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

easily edward. bruce has the more extravagant gifts but edwards far more creative with it because he doesnt have the money to burn

who gets up first in the morning

maybe edward but its not like. by a lot. bruce refuses to wake up until late oclock every day and edward will wake up just to spend more time trying to cuddle his way into the blankets bruce stole in the middle of the night

who suggests new things in bed

edward bc he has less impulse control and will just say things and will especially say things if he thinks itll embarrass bruce (it never does)

who cries at movies

i think pixar movies get bruce. i think its just the burden he has to carry as a father. i dont think edward cries at movies often bc hes too conscious of the fact that theyre just fictional nonsense. crying is for his OWN dramatics

who gives unprompted massages

edward bc hes touchy and bruce isnt and bruce desperately needs it and its a good excuse to get his hands on him in a way bruce can deal with

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

edward gets really fussy. bruce worries, but not as much, and hes not as helpful. edward is also not necessarily that helpful but he hovers a lot and he tries

who gets jealous easiest

edward. he hates it when other people steal his things

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

we all know bruce listens to nirvana we dont need to get into all the reasons hes cringe we know

who collects something unusual

edward collects puzzles so??? but bruce has weird eccentric rich people collections probably so????????

who takes the longest to get ready

edward but not by as much as you would think

who is the most tidy and organized

im going to say bruce but less because bruce is and more because alfred forces him to be

who gets most excited about the holidays

bruce because its an excuse to rope his kids into spending time with him. jason you HAVE to come home for the holidays its the HOLIDAYS etc etc

who is the big spoon/little spoon

ofc edward is the little spoon have you seen him

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

they are equally nightmares it is quite literally the foundation of their relationship

who starts the most arguments

edward, largely because he talks more and also because he likes to say things that antagonize bruce in order to maximize attention

who suggests that they buy a pet

neither of them need to because bruces kids are dragging in new ones every month

what couple traditions they have

cases and puzzles

what tv shows they watch together

edward is personally responsible for getting bruce hooked on really bad detective shows that they treat with all the vitriol of a bad reality show. edward is also trying to get bruce into true crime with the same intentions but its not quite as successful

what other couple they hang out with

for absolute shits and giggles im gonna say selina and talia bc i think itd be great

how they spend time together as a couple

its a lot of antagonizing each other either like actually or playfully depending on if its enemies or enemies to lovers

who made the first move

edward. naturally.

who brings flowers home

bruce (he uses flower code and eddie nearly cries)

who is the best cook

edward LOL and hes not even that good

#asks #ashysiashy

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ninjayuri · 2 years

Text

I posted 33,446 times in 2021

6857 posts created (21%)

26589 posts reblogged (79%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.9 posts.

I added 1,585 tags in 2021

#reblog - 363 posts

#fave - 293 posts

#fae plays stuff - 291 posts

#fae watches stuff - 193 posts

#ace attorney - 103 posts

#/lh - 86 posts

#yttd spoilers - 85 posts

#prev tags - 59 posts

#genshin impact - 57 posts

#yeah - 55 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#all my friends that ive gotten into gi have passed me in ar 😒 whatever i can exploit your maxed out chars now for my own benefits at least!

My Top Posts in 2021

celesgiri headcanons

this is fully self indulgent

tea dates!!! whether they go out to cafes or just brew some at home, they like having tea dates :)) they prefer quieter cafes when they do go out though

kyoko likes coffee too, so celeste learned how to make her coffee and kyoko makes awesome royal milk tea

celeste LOVES dressing kyoko up. her detective gf is so pretty and she wants to get her pretty dresses to show that

also celeste just. really likes running her hands through kyoko's hair?? likes it's really soft and stuff and hfhdgj

kyoko probably overworks a lot and celeste needs her beauty sleep. that being said, celestia will make kyoko tea and stuff and remind her to rest a lot. to make up for the allnighters, celeste takes a lot of like small naps so she invites kyoko to come too

celeste can get VERY jealous and overprotective lmao. kyoko also does get jealous just less,,,loudly so

they like to hold hands hfhjskg

kyoko loves her goth gf

they're both kinda bad with emotions so it takes them a while to like. confess. they both KNOW they fancy each other though, there's no confusion. it's just,,,kyoko tends to not Really Say Much At All and celestia hides it behind half lies and offhand compliments

celeste uses pet names like dear, darling, old fashioned stuff like that, and also a lot of like. princess and things

kyoko though doesn't use tooo many petnames, more so nicknames and stuff.

kyoko is definitely a cat person so she and grand bois chéri ludenberg get along very well

131 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 09:29:20 GMT

id like to think im smart

155 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 20:24:39 GMT

new rb/ask game what would your objection bubble be if you were in ace attorney

162 notes • Posted 2021-09-13 22:28:14 GMT

expose yourself by listing which ace attorney singular case side characters are your favourites, ill go first

247 notes • Posted 2021-08-12 20:16:22 GMT

ace attorney??? more like really fucking gay attornies who are SO THICKHEADED i am going to kill them

why couldnt this just be a fandom thing like i thought it was before i played. why cant they just make these canon. why must we suffer so

i dont even want them to be canon cuz yknow normal reasons, i just want the fu kdingnf PINING TO STOP cuz its SO MUCH WORSE EVERY TIME

wrightworth? killed me. not bc of their cuteness or normal ship reasons, nooo instead you change your entire major for a guy you knew for 4 months when you were 9 and book a private jet cuz you thought the guy was dying and gain unnecessary feelings and have that man shine brilliantly in your eyes and share a deep dark secret with the exact same girl who just confessed her love to a guy and being great partners and trusting in each other to find the truth and enjoy biting into apples because theyre red and

klapollo? dont even get me started. once again, not because of normal ship reasons, but because they make me so infuriatingly mad. but yknow being used to getting inspected by the ladies but feeling that way for the first time with a man and calling each other cool while blushing and treating your guitars like lovers instead of smashing them on stage and singing a song about your boyfriend being the prosecutions witness and taking care your heart isnt stolen away and wiping pretty smiles off your opponents face and pulling the darkness out of him and being dazzled and literally asking him out to dinner is all normal and straight dude stuff

lanamia? girlfriends? really? i cant believe you thought that going to law school together and being both a detective and prosecution at the same time she was a defense attorney and being close enough to her you had to push her away and break contact when you got involved with a murder and dying at the hands of the man that blackmailed her and her being the first person you tried to contact when you were in trouble and being attracted to her (intellectually) could possibly mean anything not straight at all.

franmaya?? wtf are you on about??? wdym you saw acts of lesbianisms when two women admire each others strengths for being so strong in her own way in the exact same situation as herself and when theyre narrative foils and when one of them avoids whipping the other despite not doing this for pretty much anyone else and when she spends all night on a freezing cold mountain doing something extremely difficult to make sure the other is okay and out as soon as possible?

faraskye? HA dont make me laugh. why are you even telling me about how theyre literally a detective and thief which fits the trope perfectly and about how they investigate together and about how they worry about each other and how they both have big dreams about their careers in the future which theyre super passionate about and have entirely planned until something comes in their way?? this is all heterosexual behaviour???

blackmadhi? you mean having opposite designs that are black + edgy and white + holy while having the complete opposite personalities to their outfits and calling each other sad monk and reverse panda while fiercely going off against each other because neither of them can bear to lose and putting up facades to keep others away from their true selves but still caring about their younger siblings and doing anything for their sakes? yeah i dont see it.

junithena? youve got to be kidding. playing together in the woods as children and growing up to still remember each other even when others dont approve and being determined to help her find her true self and being worried that shes anxious while remembering what happens when she does even though its been years and getting mad at anyone who bothers her and sobbing because she gave you an orange and promising to defend her no matter what and taking a risk so that she doesnt get in trouble in court and calling each other nicknames and getting jealous that two people are fighting over her love while calling her a bunch of compliments and being supportive but sad when she gets a crush on a guy for some weird forking reason doesnt mean anything at all.

asoryuu????? whaaaat??? cant believe you ever thought that being certified besties and taking a huge risk so that said bestie wouldnt lose their dream and calling each others partners like every line and that thinking hes the pride and joy of your university and not sleeping in the same bed so you can go into the closet and teasing each other while still showing your unbreakable bond is homosexual activity.

tldr: theyre straight /s and i hate them

409 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 23:23:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

/////

hi this bit is from fae and STOPPPPP WITH THE DANGANRONPA WHAT THE HELL

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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arkannis · 3 years

Note

Hello,

I just recently got into the Old Republic Fandom, and the Eternal Empire is my favorite arc. I do wish there was more story content to give more development to the characters, particularly in Arcann's case. While I love his romance scenes, I wish there were more scenes about his redemption and relationship with the Outlander or a dark side ending where the Outlander or Arcann takes the throne with the other as a consort. I found your blog while trying to find content further developing his character. Thank you so much for posting all your headcanons and musings!

With that being said, what are your headcanons for Zakuul culture? And could you post a masterpost compilation of your Arcann headcanons? I am trying to find the post where the romance novels headcanon originated in the tags and not having much luck.

Hope you have a nice day!

Hi anon!! Sorry for a late reply. First I’ll answer the second part of your message. The romance holonovels headcanon originated from the this post ; the post doesn’t outright say it, but some people in the tags (when they reblogged it) mentioned that Arcann probably seemed like the type to read romance in his free time. As of what I can remember the tags were from this reblog and this other reblog and both say that Arcann reads romance holonovels. The continuation of this headcanon were in replies or tags, so it’s hard to track them all down! Secondly, my Arcann tag is a mess, and I probably threw in multiple headcanons in reblogs or tags so it would be hard to find them all... I’ll think about making a masterpost, but I don’t think I have time for something like that right now. Ok, now that’s over with... I 100% agree with you, anon! I HAVE so many things to say about the possibility about that dark side ending. I don’t think devs were planning to make Arcann a possible romance option in the beginning, so it wouldn’t have been possible to be his LI and rule as emperor/empress. I also agree with the development of the characters... however, Arcann’s redemption and relationship with the Outlander was definitely rushed, because the plans to make a third expansion was apparently cancelled due to the backlash from fans who wanted pub vs. imp back. I made a whole post complaining about that... Otherwise, I definitely think they would have had more time to flesh out his characters and the other Zakuulan characters as well (Vaylin, Senya, Koth, etc.). I’m like pretty much sure content was cut out from KOTFE/KOTET to make them shorter. Due to such lost content, I have to create my headcanons from extrapolation based on the Sacrifice trailer, available codex entries, existing dialogue, and implications of existing issues. As well as other people’s hcs and commentary!! WARNING: SUPER LONG BULLET POINTS for Zakuulan culture headcanons.

The reason why I don’t have that many Zakuulan culture headcanons is because.... I feel like it’s so weirdly explored in the expansions.

I think the arts is a big thing in Zakuul! The Dragon’s Maw chapter gave me that kind of vibe. I also discussed this mildly (not) with Arcann. Most specifically THEATRE, PERFORMANCE AND SINGING.

Evidence: Senya sings and composes and there’s the famous Zakuulan holoperformer, Malita Tal. No, I don’t have evidence for theatre, but honestly? Zakuulans are so goddamn dramatic, they most definitely have reality TV series or drama series...

arcann be like oh you listen to malita tal? name all of her albums in alphabetical order or you get exiled

Zakuulan culture most definitely has idol culture, based on Malita Tal (and reportedly her performances were watched by millions). And those fans apparently also protested against Arcann’s rule. personally i think if they had twitter the u.s. gov*rnment would be wiped out.

I just think singing is a big thing in Zakuulan culture. I mean, even Valkorion sings (if you decide to kill Senya, his force ghost appears. They both have an exchange and it’s actually sweet for like 0.1 second).

I also think there would be typical Zakuulan fairytales embedded in the culture. Hear me out. Most specifically those type of royal fairytales with the princes and princesses. This can be heavily contributed to the fact that a royal family is essentially in power.

You cannot expect me to believe not a single person in Zakuul has written a Prince Arcann x reader holofic. You just can’t. Or Prince Thexan. Actually, I think Thexan would be more common, I think he was perceived to be more compassionate and kind compared to Arcann by the common folk? Since I know there’s that NPC dialogue where one of them goes how different it would be if Thexan took the throne instead.

The fairytales would probably involve a lot of references to the Old Gods. I kinda imagine that the enemy would be some sort of serpent, that is, Zildrog, because apparently he’s just a bedtime story to scare children away.

I think these Zakuulan fairy tales would contribute to the theatre and performance, acting culture that Zakuul has.

Furthermore, I just think the Tirall kids probably read these fairytales as well. francis dont talk about arcann reading again

I want to talk about the Old Gods and that religion, which is one of my favorite things ever... probably because the Gods are machines. Superweapon machines... ok ill shut up

Even if Valkorion basically got rid of the religion, it’s clear that the religion is still incorporated into heavy talk in Zakuulan culture (e.g. eyes of Esne, heart of Scyva).

My headcanon is that there are sanctuaries or small secret churches (?) for those who want to worship the Old Gods. Obviously the Herald of Zildrogs who believe in the Old Way are a cult, so I think people would look for an alternative.

I think there would be great effort to hide these places, as it can get you exiled. Thus these would probably be located in the Old World, rather than in a more obvious position like the Spire.

The beliefs of the Old Ways isn’t exactly clear, they aren’t exactly touched upon, which is a shame. I think people would ask for help from each of these gods depending on what they want.

Those who ask for Izax’ guidance want to seek success, accomplishments, power, and glory.

Those who ask for Scyva’s guidance ask for her to guide souls peacefully to death (she is described as someone who weeps beside Zakuulans as they march towards Izax - basically death) , or ask for help/compassion from her. Maybe maternity as well? Or parental love?

Those who ask for Aivela (goddess of passion) want her to guide them with her passion (Aivela accompanies Tyth, who is kind of a god of war/warrior). I think there would also be romance related stuff as well. If someone asked for help regarding their love related issues, it would probably be from Aivela!

I’m not sure about Esne - but maybe in a similar sense, if someone is suffering with jealousy - in any situation, they would ask guidance from her. I don’t know where I read this but I think the “eyes of Esne” expression meant like having eyes of jealousy.

Nahut? I don’t think he was worshipped. “Nahut was considered to be gray, formless and cold, and was denied worship by all except his mother Scyva.” But regardless, I think he still had a role to play.

After the Outlander takes the throne, and Zakuul renounces their membership from the Eternal Alliance, I think people would be allowed to openly express their religious beliefs, that is, the Old Ways. Oh, personally I headcanon that they would build beautiful places of worship in the Spire with similar geometrical pyramid designs...!!

Yeah...I think that’s all I got! I’ll need to see how I can somehow make this post easily found, lol. This is quite a long list, and I have to emphasize that these are my headcanons! They are based on what I see and I just kind of fill in the gaps to fit my own stories. This took a while to write because I KNEW I had these headcanons, but they just didn’t appear at the time I saw this anon ask. Anyways, I’ll probably create more headcanons in the future. Also:

a dark side ending where the Outlander or Arcann takes the throne with the other as a consort

I have so many things to say about this. I know the game won’t permit it, because if you think about it, both the light side choice (Eternal Alliance) and the dark side choice (Eternal Empire) are happy endings for your characters anyways. They can continue as the “hero” or the “protagonist”, so I don’t think this route could ever be implemented. However, I think it would be absolutely interesting if throughout the gameplay, players are given a choice to flirt with Arcann. The Outlander and Arcann agree to get rid of Valkorion, but thats if the Outlander decides to betray the Alliance and joins Arcann instead. And should they join him, they have the choice to romance him... and I guess it’s a happy ending for you both :P Obviously this won’t happen, but maybe it will. I wouldn’t mind being the prince consort of Arcann lol idk! me and vaylin are gonna be besties and we’ll paint each others nails or something Oh and have a nice day too anon...!!

#Anonymous #THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST AAAAAAAAAAAA #swtor #arcann #zakuul #kotfe #kotet #i need a special tag for this #zakuul hc

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ignorancelive · 3 years

Text

FINALLY DOING ALL MY TAG GAMES AAAA IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO DO THESE

@whitedeadflower | pick my favourite albums for bill clinton to enjoy

not necessarily my favorites but i always pick the same 5 albums for these so i just put 4 albums i like a lot and have been listening to more recently <3

@opossuwu | 15 questions

1. What is the first song you remember hearing?

english songs: either learn to fly by foo fighters or human by the killers, i really cannot remember which one but it was around the same time im pretty sure

spanish songs: ALL the songs on/by rebelde, my sister was super into it when i was a baby so i heard so many of their songs right as i was learning to become a human

2. What is the first band you got into?

mmmmmmm probably one direction? if we’re not counting rebelde lol

3. Do you collect music on any physical format?

i collect almost all cds i know and like on CD and have recently started buying vinyl but i think im only going to get albums i really like on it since its more expensive

4. What is your favourite piece of music-related memorabilia/merchandise?

SO many things. i really like my nirvana and red hot chili peppers shirts because they make me feel cute! im also IN LOVE with the in utero angel sticker i bought on redbubble that has a transparent border so its JUST the angel, i stuck it on my record player and i love it so so much

5. What is your favourite concert you've been to?

i have not been to a concert yet :/ i went to a little student festival thing my university hosted for us and saw hunny + hayley kiyoko which was pretty neat

6. If you could see one artist (or band) who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

nirvana :(

7. Have you met any musicians?

i went to a cd signing for little mix when i was like 12-13 ish but thats the closest ive gotten lol

8. What is your go-to song/album when feeling sad?

i actually have a playlist of comfort songs to listen to when im sad, but i think the song i most consistently go to is encore by red hot chili peppers

9. What is your go-to song/album when feeling happy?

this one depends. probably hump de bump also by rhcp cause it SLAPS and always puts me in a better mood than when i started

10. What is one music-related documentary you love?

EYE only watched a few minutes of funky monks but im sure if i sat down to watch it now id love it. this is the worst question to ask me because i watch a ton of interviews on youtube so i cant even remember which ones were legit docus as opposed to just youtube vids so this question is gonna be basically unanswered. i do want to watch bob and the monster though

11. What is one concert DVD that you love?

i listen to it more as an album on spotify than watch it but Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged is so good

12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or full albums?

usually playlists! but occasionally ill play the albums i have on my player

13. Do you tend to listen to albums in order or on shuffle?

in order, shuffling them is rare

14. What is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist?

favorite artist is rhcp and honestly im? not fully sure. quixoticelixer slaps. and i like almost every song on im with you. but i think im gonna have to go with storm in a teacup cause i checked its streams and its not that popular </3

15. What is your favorite CD/vinyl/cassette that you own in terms of packaging?

THIS ONES SO HARD I LOVE PACKAGING DESIGNS. i love how rhcp’s im with you disc looks like because it has the track list on it but it doesnt look bad like other discs who do that do. booklet design i love vices and virtues by panic at the disco and american idiot by green day. idk what this would fall under but i also love how stadium arcadium’s booklet is held in the case and how when you take it out you see a picture of the band. and there are too many albums whose art i love so i cannot elaborate on that without making this 5xs longer lmao

@garbanz0 & @dailywilliams | top 5 songs ive had on repeat recently

according to spotify’s on repeat playlist:

but also according to my last.fm:

so basically red hot chili peppers own my ass

@badhe4d , @garbanz0 , & @catts-world | 10 songs you like, each by a different artist

uhhhhhhhhhhh

1. Monarchy of Roses - RHCP

2. Back and Forth - Foo Fighters

3. Heart of Glass - Blondie

4. Omission - John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer

5. Dance with Me - Sir, Please

6. Henrietta - The Fratellis

7. Breed - Nirvana

8. Mary - The Happy Fits

9. Girls and Boys - Blur

10. It’s All So Incredibly Loud - Glass Animals

@psychoticbreak | suppose you’re being sent to a deserted island for the rest of your life, and you can only choose 10 records to bring with you and those are the only albums you can listen to for the remainder of your life; what albums are they

oh GOD ok

1. in utero - nirvana

2. stadium arcadium - RHCP

3. nothing personal - all time low

4. red - taylor swift

5. after laughter - paramore

6. wasting light - foo fighters

7. im with you + im beside you if you count them as the same album - RHCP

8. so wrong its right - all time low

9. american idiot - green day

10. inside of emptiness - john frusciante

@mark-hoppuss | shuffle my playlist and list the first ten songs that come up

1. New Invention - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me

2. Thanks to You - All Time Low

3. Por Que Me Haces Llorar? - Juan Gabriel

4. Torture Me - Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. Speak Now - Taylor Swift

6. Prayer of the Refugee - Rise Against

7. Going Away to College - blink-182

8. Time-Bomb - All Time Low

9. DNA. - Kendrick Lamar

10. Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle

@frafru1 , @whitedeadflower , & @psychoticbreak | make a playlist with the letters of my name

Lithium by Nirvana

Universally Speaking by RHCP

Pool by Paramore

Eye Opener by Dot Hacker

@badhe4d | post my lock screen, the last song I listened to and the last picture I saved on my phone

friends name blocked out but. an interesting screenshot. yes i have flea’s tweet notifs on and use twitter for absolutely nothing else. yes i have email notifs on

if screenshots count:

if they DONT count and you mean purely just saving:

my icon and boyfriend <3

@badhe4d | 7 questions to get to know me better

three ships: not romantically because i dont believe in shipping irl people but i love everyone in rhcp’s gay polycule energy. specifically john and anthony in the 80s. romantically tho mickey and ian in shameless. i dont think i have a third one? me and my bisexual mutuals <3

last song: i shuffled a ton of songs and skipped for some of these tags but before those i was listening to the album weird kids by we are the in crowd as a tbt, specifically the song manners

last movie: inside by bo burnham but if you dont count that, hereditary

currently watching: it is very difficult for me to watch shows so im currently just watching youtube lol

currently reading: nothing. i cannot read :( bc of attention issues not bc im illiterate

currently consuming: banana bread :3

currently craving: RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS RELEASE YOUR FUCKING ALBUM CHALLENGE

@the-replacemints | top 10 favorite debut albums

NOT in order. also it took way too long to come up with this list lol

1. Concentrate - The Happy Fits

2. So Wrong It’s Right - All Time Low

3. SOUR - Olivia Rodrigo

4. Strange Desire - Bleachers

5. RAZZMATAZZ - I Dont Know How But They Found Me

6. Hot Fuss - The Killers

7. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

8. Bleach - Nirvana

9. Costello Music - The Fratellis

10. WALK THE MOON - Walk The Moon

because theres so many of these im not gonna tag people for each individual prompt but if you tagged me in one of these i tag you in whichever ones you wanna do <3

#IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS TO FINISH THESE #tag games

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criticalrolo · 4 years

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IDK if you want to actually talk about this more, but my sister identifies as a Bi Lesbian, and the way she describes it is that she is attracted to women and nonbinary people. I think saying that bi people HAVE to be attracted to men is off-base and ignores the nonbinary part of "more than one gender" - and as soon as you include nb people it is no longer mutually exclusive. ALSO fuck terfs getting to take an id away from people cause theyre shitty, I respect the people who id as that more 1/3

2/3 Of course Bi and Lesbians are full identities, but if people find a label like Bi Lesbian useful, not as a watering down but as a way to speak their truth, then I think it should be respected. It doesn't have to be a scale - maybe if anything a modifier? And it certainly doesn't make Bi or Lesbian less of an identity than the split attraction model makes Ace less of a thing. IDK I'd just rather be extremely inclusive over saying that an ID is bad. IDK about the Bipoc tho as Im white

3/3 one final aside, is I've seen it described as an easy way to explain that they are into multiple genders but not into men. And I think if its useful and easily understood, a useful shorthand, then let people use it. Fuck anyone (esp terfs) who apply it to other people, but I think we dont have to conflate all the ways people are awful to queer people with an Identity itself being fucked up. Anyway sorry to ramble right back, and I hope you have a nice night and Ill see you in the cr tag lol

Hey there! So, to address your points, I do want to say first of all that I totally find it admirable that, given the option, you’d rather stray towards overly inclusive as opposed to Not Inclusive Enough. I totally agree with that sentiment, and think that you’re absolutely coming at this from a good angle.

The things I find difficult about the “bi lesbian” label kind of come from your second ask mainly. So the thing is, all sexualities can potentially include nonbinary people. “Nonbinary” is not a separate Third Gender Option, it’s an enormous array of different identities. People can be nonbinary but man or woman-aligned, completely agender, all the genders at once, etc. etc. etc.... basically the format that you’re thinking of conforms the nonbinary experience into an all encompassing “third gender” when in fact it’s a broad spectrum of experiences and identities that can be extremely similar or dissimilar.

Because yeah... there are nb lesbians out there. Who are attracted to women, and other nb lesbian/bisexual people who identify with being sapphic or wlw. You’re actually talking to one right now ;) My experience with gender is All Over The Place and I’m not very good at defining it right now, but I definitely identify very strongly as a lesbian who is attracted to women/women-aligned people. Gender Is Lesbian for me personally right now lol

The issue comes when, as you said, you start to use “lesbian” as a modifying term. It’s not a modifier. It’s a full term that exclusively means women who are not attracted to men. I know you bring up the split attraction model here, but I’ve found that that is WAY more useful for asexual identities without getting into some of the sticky areas like this one where IDing as something actually is harmful/doesn’t make sense. I know that the term “exclusive” does bring up some bad associations but in this case, that’s because we have terms for people who experience attraction to Women/NB people who ID as sapphic (basically ur NB lesbians/people comfy with calling themselves NB bisexual women) and for people who identify as being attracted to men and women (and man-aligned etc. etc.)

LIke, see how long those descriptions got once I started including some of the many, MANY different experiences of being nonbinary...? Basically there’s just no single way to define Every Nonbinary Person for Every Single Sexuality since it’s such a broad spectrum of experience, which is why a lot of sexualities might sound pretty binary (like defining lesbian as Woman Who Loves Only Women) but in fact is because there’s no way to include every single nonbinary experience and categorize them into a neat little box, you know?

So from there, you’ve gotta ALSO consider the points I made earlier about how the identity of “bisexual lesbian” also comes across as lesbophobic, biphobic, and transphobic in ways that harm all of those identities instead of bringing them together. Like, obviously your sister is a Valid Human Being, and it feels weird to be saying an identity is NOT valid... but like. Forcing two mutually exclusive identities together (one that explicitly does not include men and one that does) just ends up hurting the people who ID with those identities in the long run, like how I outlined in my other post. Essentially, it takes away from the overall meaning of What It Means To Be A Lesbian and What It Means To Be Bisexual by trying to force the two of them together. They’re different experiences, and that’s something to be celebrated and something to find commonalities over while discussing our differences instead of trying to mash them together, you know? Like there’s a reason why they became defined as separate identities in the first place.

Anyway, this is probably too long but I hope you can see where I’m coming from here. I’m obviously not going to tell your sister How To Identify, but there’s my thoughts some points you might want to consider showing her while she’s figuring out her identity, you know? So yeah, that’s all I’ve got. Hope you have a good day, and get hyped for the CR episode tonight!! <3

#sapphirestream #asks

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izukukuzi · 4 years

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you know, i respect people who want bkg to be redemmed bc we all have our own opinions and stuff. but to me??? i want him OUT of the narrative, nothing he will ever do (just looking at what we have till now, almost 300 chaps) will be enough,nothing will happen so yeah, to me he is iredemable. is it me selfprojecting years of cruelty i had to deal with with bothableism and racism? maybe but in a word qith quirks where people can be pink red or black with no problem

(2/4) what sets you aside is your quirk. or lack of it since without it you aint even a person, and bakugou spent 10 years and MORE ruining the equivalent of a disabled child while showing how privileged he was, he is rich, has a powerful quirk, can hurt anyone and get away with it, he has both parents, he is everything izuku isnt AND yet we have to sympathize with him rather than the victim??? i dont get it.i know a lot of people want him to be redeemed but i dont understand why he has to become friends

(3/4) like if someone told me be friends with the person who ruined your youth and selfworth and just straight up made your life hell im just gonna be really, astonished and he didnt get better, it is just the narrative accommodating him, because he is like pretty much the same as the start. and something that i dont get is why people try justifying him while hating mineta,they are the same age so lets just admit that yall care about appearence rather than actual characters and flaws

(4/4) sorry i ranted dhf hdbhjcsd but like. im just tired and your inbox is one of the few places that make me feel understood ?? ;-; sorry, and love u!!! have a nice day honey bee

first, I want to address your last point, nonnie. neveeeeeer apologize for sharing your thoughts with me!!! to be honest, I became more vocal about my feelings towards bakugou because I imagined that others felt that way too, or similarly enough, and I wanted to make space for us all to comfortably talk about it. the fact that that’s working, even for one person at all, makes me feel good!!! so no apologies, and no worries babes (and I love you toooooooooo!!)

now, onward to the stuff:

you bring up a lot of points that i probably don’t have all the depth to explore in their entirety, but yes to all that ^^^^^

as you mentioned at the start, there are variations in opinions, which is how things work. the beauty of it is that everyone can take what they want out of the show/character(s) and every interpretation (within reason hdebfdbnjd) is valid. soooooooo if you’re someone who has dealt with real life discrimination of some sort (like racism, ableism, sexism, along with the other -isms) I think it’s beyond fair to not only identify with izuku, but to raise issue with bakugou and his actions. I mean, even if you haven’t felt those struggles, seeing and then calling out a character’s shitty behavior is not... a bad thing?? even for bakugou, even at the start of his “redemption.” being wary of his growth makes sense, especially when it took us over two-hundred chapters to get where we are currently.

that then leads me into the responses to the responses to bakugou dbedhd I haven’t really had the chance to speak to many people who are put off by my stance on bk, but I can sort of guess that some people grow defensive on his behalf because 1) they feel the need to justify the fact that they like him, or 2) they identify with him, maybe in a way that I, or you nonnie, identify with izuku, so they take criticism geared towards him as something personal (and as I said, this is me guessing. I don’t know shit about shit so please no one take offense or anything). and you know, when thinking about that, I believe:

you don’t have to justify liking a character, even when they’re “bad.” I know there’s lots of shiggy stans around and I would never ask any of them to justify enjoying his character (though I will continuously joke on yall for calling him attractive lmao). people criticize shig’s actions and how he operates in the plot, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still like him. the same goes for bakugou

me, in this case, disliking a character that you see parts of yourself in does not mean I have any ill feelings towards you as a person. for example, I love izuku! I think I was in the tags of someone else’s post early this morning talking about how I connect with him as a black person and how I love his storyline because parts of it make me feel seen. so like, all that in mind, there’s a decent amount of people, both in and out of the fandom, who haaaaaaaaaaate izuku. there’s a number of reasons why, and while I don’t agree with that stance, obviously, I know that people’s feelings about him do not also reflect onto me as a person because their perception of him has nothing to do with me. the same line of reasoning can, and probably should, be applied to bakugou.

and so with all of that being said... that’s what I think is (part of) what’s going on. now, as someone who doesn’t care for his character, and being shit-talked for not caring too much for his character, I am still frustrated by it. plenty of people have already talked about the importance of holding bk accountable, and it’s okay if we get that in canon and it 1) changes how you feel about bk (because honestly, that’s what I want. I want to see him do good enough by izu and his past mistakes to like him... or tolerate him better duebndnwd), 2) it doesn’t change how you feel, or 3) it makes you dislike him more. all of these are valid reactions. what I do hope for is that people are understanding of how others feel, regardless of how it shoves against your own/the fandom’s general opinion, because they’re allowed to feel differently.

people are allowed to problematize problematic behavior, they’re allowed to enjoy a character despite said problematic beahvior, and these things can (and should) coexist.

okay but all this bullshit is basically me saying you’re valid anon and anti-bakugou fans/bakugou haters/whatever deserve more rights eubfudwnjndjw

#anti bakugou #anon #bnha 284 #WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH #i'm so sorry anon #de jbdfwjndjfwjfn #and I didn't read over this #so this shit probably makes no sense but #i said what I said #and you said what you said anon #and that's on periodt

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daisy--sorbet · 4 years

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heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it.

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity.

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy?

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent).

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?).

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″ (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe.

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned.

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene.

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there!

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed.

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad.

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

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satonthelotuspier · 4 years

Text

❄️ Untamed Winter Fest 2019 ❄️

Day 3 - Goodwill - 1.6k

I feel like I need to give some warnings and clarity at the beginning of this post.

This fic contains themes of teen homelessness, I’ve tagged it as such.

There is mild threat of violence against a teen - one punch is thrown, noone is seriously hurt, I’ve tagged again.

This is not a ship post, it features XXC as a shelter manager doing his darnedest to help street kids like XY.

The fic itself is behind the cut in case I mis-tag something. Please message me if you want a tag adding, I realise things that may not occur to me may affect you and I dont want that to happen! I realise this can be a very sensitive topic.

The fic itself is mild angst with a neutral ending.

Song Lan came over to find Xiao Xingchen with the news.

“That troublemaking teen is at it again” he informed, and Xiao Xingchen sighed in exasperation. He was almost at the end of his tether with complaint after complaint, the boy was quickly burning through everyone at the shelter’s feelings of goodwill.

He had been here for less than a week and already many of the volunteers refused to deal with him.

“I’ll deal with it” Xiao Xingchen patted Song Lan on the shoulder and went to find the source of the trouble.

In one of the common rooms it was beginning to look quite grim, several much larger men had the teen backed into a corner, and he was doing his usual hissing and spitting, never scared. Never ever scared, even if a beating of epic proportions was coming his way.

Xiao Xingchen hurried into the room and coughed to announce his presence.

Everyone here knew fighting was likely to get them kicked out of the shelter and suddenly the room became much emptier.

“You, Xue Yang? I need to you fill some forms in” Xiao Xingchen lied neatly, “Please come to my office”

Xue Yang looked at him without a single change in expression, he either hadn’t understood Xiao Xingchen had just saved him from an attack, or he genuinely didn’t care.

Xiao Xingchen thought it was probably the latter. He hadn’t seen the boy react to anything except with anger since he’d arrived.

Xiao Xingchen waved towards the door and Xue Yang followed the cue and preceded him, heading towards Xiao Xingchen’s office. As Xiao Xingchen was about to leave the common room after him a small hand pulled him back briefly, it was a teenaged girl he knew as A-Qing.

“I-I don’t like him da-ge, he scares me. But he didn’t start that fight” she whispered quietly.

“Understood, thank you A-Qing” he patted her hand and followed after the young man.

Once seated across from Xue Yang at his desk he tried to get the youngster’s side of the story.

“So what happened?”

Xue Yang’s gaze drifted up from the floor, “I thought you wanted me to fill in some forms?” he stood up, “I’m not here to talk about my feelings”

“Please sit down, Xue Yang” he didn’t shout or command, but his tone was compelling, and Xue Yang rolled his eyes but sat back down.

“if I hadn’t come in then you’d have probably been beaten by now” did Xue Yang really not understand, or did he genuinely not care about his personal safety?

“I would have been beaten” his tone said he wasn’t even a little concerned by the fact. He pulled the hand that was missing it’s little finger into the sleeve of his hoodie and lounged back in the chair in a the universal pose of a teenager in trouble with an elder, but who wanted to look like he was too cool to care. “I must have one of those faces is all. Da-ge, I don’t go looking for trouble, I know what an awkward place that would put you in, but if I show even a flicker of fear out there-” he gestured at the window behind Xiao Xingchen, “-then I might as well be dead, because it would just be a matter of time”

His tone was matter of fact. He wasn’t saying it for sympathy, it was the truth of his life. Xiao Xingchen understood that it was a dangerous world out there on the streets, especially for youngsters like Xue Yang and A-Qing who had nowhere to go, no family to look after them, no options. That was why Xiao Xingchen was determined to do all he could for every one of them he met.

He followed Xue Yang’s gaze then, realised it had been the fourth or fifth time the other had looked at the jar of sweets on his desk.

“Do you want a candy?” he asked, genuinely expecting the denial, the “I’m not a child”, or the “I’m too cool to eat sweets” attitude, but to his surprise Xue Yang nodded, almost eagerly, and reached into the jar to take one.

It was literally the first time in the nearly a week he’d been here that Xiao Xingchen had seen an emotion other than anger on his face. He looked genuinely ecstatic about the candy, and a devious little plan formed in Xiao Xingchen’s mind.

“Listen, xiao-Xue, how about for every day you manage to avoid trouble here, I let you have a piece of candy. How about one more tonight as a deal sealer?”

Naturally mistrustful Xue Yang looked at him closely for a few moments, but then nodded. “Alright, I’ll try to avoid trouble, even trouble that comes to find me. For candy”

And thus his crazy, childish, crackpot plan of keeping a fully grown teen boy out of bother with sweets was born. And worked. Day after day for weeks it worked, nothing happened, and Xue Yang popped his head into Xiao Xingchen’s office every evening to collect his candy.

From the little Xiao Xingchen had managed to pry from him Xue Yang had been alone for a long time already, he was obviously a survivor. If he could be given some tools to work with that same determination could be channelled into getting him on his feet and on the road to a stable residence and stable job.

Xiao Xingchen was trying to find an agency who could help Xue Yang with some psychological support, as well as some life skills, and possibly vocational training. But he also understood homelessness was a problem bigger than just his little shelter, than just his charges, with too many people drawing on too few resources nationally. But he would do all he could.

His candy related blackmail plan worked. At least for a while. And then it all collapsed. Another one of those fights that Xue Yang hadn’t started, but for whatever reason hadn’t been able to avoid this time. Xue Yang hadn’t been hurt seriously but one of the social workers had been caught in the melee when she’d tried to break up the fight by a punch meant for Xue Yang that he’d dodged.

In Xiao Xingchen’s office later Song Lan was frustrated, “You know the only way this ends now is with him leaving” he pointed in frustration at Xue Yang, who sat quietly in the chair.

Xiao Xingchen understood Song Lan was worried for him as his friend, but he really wished he’d stop being so focussed on what he perceived to be a threat to Xiao Xingchen.

“Not while I have breath to argue against it” Xiao Xingchen denied, and reached across to place a soothing hand on Xue Yang’s shoulder, “You must have been born under an ill star, why do you attract trouble so well?”

“Its my winning personality” again Xue Yang deflected with sarcasm, refusing to meet Xiao Xingchen’s eyes.

“I don’t blame you, xiao-Xue”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t blame him. They’ll say has to go, whether we like it or not. You can’t flout the statute Xiao Xingchen. You’re walking on shaky ground as it is with how much we’ve bent the rules for him. We’ve used up every feeling of goodwill available to us for the boy”

Xue Yang did look up then, a sharp, considering look on his face.

“Xiao-Xue, you will not do anything silly. I’ll deal with this, believe me”

“But-”

“No buts. Do as you’re told for once”

Xue Yang smiled a blinding smile then, “Alright then. How about giving me the rest of this week’s candy as a reward for doing as I’m told?”

Xiao Xingchen shook his head in amused exasperation at the young man. “OK, fine” he grabbed the jar off his desk and held it out to Xue Yang, who diligently picked out several pieces of candy, pocketing them.

“Goodnight, da-ge” he got to his feet and walked to the door, throwing one last smile at Xiao Xingchen.

“Goodnight xiao-Xue” he let the teen go, returning to the file and ignoring Song Lan’s frustrated gaze. He’d have to do some serious arguing tomorrow to ensure Xue Yang wasn’t ejected. It was reaching midwinter, and the boy wasn’t much older than a child, pretending he was much more mature than he actually was. They should be protecting youngsters like him and Xiao Xingchen would try and make sure that was exactly what they did.

But in the end it was academic. Xiao Xingchen should have realised what that young idiot had planned, it had been obvious enough in Xue Yang asking for his week’s sweet allocation in advance when he looked at it with hindsight.

Song Lan handed him the note Xue Yang had left, scribbled on the blank parts of one of the forms he must have taken from Xiao Xingchen's desk yesterday.

I’m leaving, I’ll be fine, I’m indestructible. Save your goodwill for someone who can use it

Song Lan made a noise of annoyance as he read the letter over Xiao Xingchen’s shoulder, “He’s such an arrogant little monster” he said at the last line.

“Song Zichen, oh Song Zichen, you misunderstand him. He just doesn’t think he’s worth the waste of goodwill, he means save it for someone who it will be of use to” he contemplated the letter again, and slammed his hand down on the desk in frustration.

In the end though there was nothing he could do, fate was a set path and it seemed Xue Yang wouldn’t be saved by Xiao Xingchen in this lifetime.

#untamed winter fest #day 3 #modern au #xiao xingchen #song lan #xue yang #teen homelessness #homelessness #mild threat of violence #mild threat of violence against a teen #mdzs fic #shay's stuff

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