#{ which I usually don't want to do but }

[ruporas]

asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #it took me so long to post this even after getting clarification about the maturity warning and stuff #bc i am so shy about it. SDGMKDSGMKSD I LIKE THIS COMIC BUT IM ALSO SO LIKE... AUGHHHH.... #when i posted this on twitter though it was like... a few days after ep 11? ive always had the thought circling about vash deserving of #asking for things... and getting what he wants bc he never gets both. doesn't get the opportunity to ask and hardly does he get what he want #maybe the results can go in his favor but at some point along the way he'll still lose something bc nothing can ever go perfectly for him... #and he's usually the one begging and pleading with people to not. do something. it's not even asking at that point it's just straight up #please believe me. please trust me. please don't shoot that person. please don't kill anyone. please don't do it. #and wolfwood.... it was not always this lovey dovey ok. he wouldv noticed this habit miles away and they got into a fight about it the first #time they talked about it bc wolfwood is being hypocritical too. as he always is!!!! but i think as they get more intimate #wolfwood finds ways to make vash understand. smth smth insatiable want and love and desire for wolfwood that makes it much easier to ask. #wolfwood can also just be so compliant. sometimes. which is also an issue in of itself that id love to explore at some point #but he also just enjoys giving into vash fully and completely. #bc he loves him a lot. but anyway #i hope the id is comprehendible.... please lmk if there's something wrong with how im doing it asfdgkdsmgs #ruporas art

[flame-shadow]

As a commissioner, I love seeing how artists interpret and stylize my characters, but as an artist, I often agonize over if I should try to match the style of the provided reference or lean into my own style.

#flame polls #sometimes people specifically say which style they want which is super helpful #sometimes people don't know which is when i usually stick closer to the reference style. idk if that's for the best tho. like- #im being commissioned because they like how i draw right? so i should draw in the way i usually do? but that doesn't always seem to #be the case idk #i don't wanna bash people for having preferences tho. this isn't meant to be judgemental one way or the other #i was just contemplating how i approach various commissions depending on how the client asks for what they want #and also because im doing some design exploration right now so i'm pushing at certain aspects of my style. makes me think!

[tblsomedoodles]

Meeting Clara (but happy and cannon)

i had full intentions of coloring this. but that would take forever and i reached my limit as far as this comic goes a while ago. i have no idea what it was, but this comic fought me every step of the way. It didn't matter if i was having a good art day or not, as soon as i opened this document, i'd struggle.

But it's done now. so there's that

#tmnt #rottmnt #seer twins au #apocalypse timeline #my doodles #rise leo #rise donnie #oc clara #i'd rant in the tags like i usually do #but i'm exhausted #and it would just end up me complaining about how frustrated i am with this comic #which i don't think anyone wants to hear #so enjoy the comic #i'm going to bed before i turn this entire post into just me bitching #i'll catch up on asks tomorrow

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

#I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING RN in the context of this alternate universe these posts live in. that makes me evil rn. I may not even keep #the post up. but I Needed to complain about these bc I hate seeing them #really funny and good because it very much feeds into that part of the brain where you go wait am I stupid? am I horrible? am I annoying? #before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over #before anyone How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor-s at me YES there is a nuanced version of this #which is. you can make someone feel like shit (A Fellow Sufferer Of The Mental Eelnesses) by using them as your dumping ground #in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween #and in a one-sided way where they can't do the same and complain with you as a sounding board in return #don't tell new friends you hardly know abt THE MOST personal shit you can possibly think of. there are steps being skipped here #right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing #on the other hand there is such a thing as a friend who IS okay to listen and wants to help. and friends who relate. #maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe #but like come on. these are almost intentionally unhelpful posts #long post

[weaponizedmoth]

"Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is a vampire in love with a human. Better integration than I could possibly have dreamed."

(just some Sundown The Vampire in Retreat fanart. More details and B&W vers. under the cut, etc).

:)

#I thought this movie was really cute and charming in a lot of ways #also I love Bruce Campbell's look in this one so much I had to draw him #I wanted to make him really warm to contrast her vampiric appearance which is more or less what they do in the movie #although he's pretty gray #I also like the costume designer's attention to detail like everyone is dressed more or less like they would be at the time they died #and a vampire western is just one of those ideas you pull from a hat that sound insane and are #but anyway charming film! I watched it twice this year! Then what! It's full on youtube so it's easier #I feel like she looked more like the actress in the sketch ALSO her actress played Muffy in April Fools Day????! #I fucking love that movie so much and Muffy is my girl she's like such an insane genius I love her to death #that movie is like a very long Are You Afraid of the Dark episode and this movie is a fairy tale with vampires. Iconic choices honestly #sundown the vampire in retreat #bruce campbell #I usually don't tag actors or actresses but I deserve this one #fanart #artists on tumblr #art #digital art #illustration #my art #digital drawing #robert and sandy

[goblinbeetle]

rotten to the core

#gore #blood #body horror #YIPPEEEE Time for some personal art #it's easter rn and here we tend to take holiday breaks #pov christian country #anyway! more of her ! #i don't think i said her name but it's Ckypa ! #You can pronounce that however you want - makes it more fun - I usually say uh #Ski - pa ? #I don't actually know how to type pronounciation lol #funnily enough i came up with that name via translating SOMETHING ??? And It's been so long that i do not remember what it was #what language i used #it is likely incorrect #which just makes it funnier #but it reminds me of the word “Skapať” #which just means “Die” so #digital art #digital artwork #art #furry #artwork #artist #drawing #furry art #digital drawing #illustration #antelope #skinned #skin

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[atsukunaritai]

so i know the beach ending of the special episode for mlc is an ambiguous ending and all that but also like

this is not a dog that just found the dead corpse of her master.

dfs and fdb's expressions are human and complex and ambiguous but ain't nothing ambiguous about this girl

#yeesss i knowww it's not that easy for the filmmakers to make the dog make the expression they want and so on #but these pans to the dog that they don't do that much in the show usually feel just so Very intentional to me #there is no scenario in which this dog that was capable of scenting a dude through a forest does not recognize her master's body even afar #mysterious lotus casebook #li lianhua #li xiangyi #mlc #mine #yes sometimes i am deep in the llh is freaking alive meta and it's like 50% relying on this dog hahaha

[raiiny-bay]

making something (maybe)

#(hopefully) #hi. i accidentally disappeared for a bit. #the burnout got to me ngl #haven't done a single creative thing all week #i did make it to the library though #my book for feb was i'm glad my mom died #i don't usually read nonfic but. i enjoyed it. i mean #as much as you can enjoy a book with that kind of subject matter #i read it in about a day. mostly in one sitting #i've gotten a head start on my march book & i'm genuinely almost regretting my pick #like. it's a compelling read & it's written in such a way that i want to know what happens but #it's fucking horrific. rarely do i need to put a book down & have a break but. i have done so several times w this book #i'm determined to finish it though. i need to know if there's like. a point to the horrors i'm experiencing or not #uhh i did also go dvd hunting #i found season 1 & season 2 of ATLA which were cool finds #i did find them at two different thrift stores which i thought was kinda funny #i'm probably gonna watch the new live action later but idk #n e way #rainyrambles

[fisheito]

my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled

OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY

#rei looking directly at the camera like why are you subjecting me to this. i do not need any of this. i know how to do it #rei wearing stilettos the size of your head so he becomes ur very tall bird goth gf #you know how yakumo gets when he instructs someone on how to cook something #he becomes confident and just tells ppl how to do stuff without his usual amount of stutter and secondguessing #i'm gonna pretend that after his stiletto training in misty vale he gains a TINY MOLECULE of confidence due to experience #like [i can help you if you've never done it before?] #honestly i can't imagine this scenario happening because i am so SURE that rei can walk in heels HAHAHA even tho nothing has proven that #SOMETHING COME PROVE ME WRONG SO MY DELUSIONS CAN SLIDE CLOSER TO POSSIBILITY #anyway even if rei didn't know how to wear heels #would he ever mention it? would yakumo ever learn of it? #rei would probably be all . i don't need to wear heels. they can't even see them under the dress. i'll wear my practical shoes #but if he can't get away with that and will be forced to wear heels at the party... #maybe he'll go [meh. i'll figure it out] and just not wear them until the day of the dance #at which point his feet will hurt after 20 minutes and for the whole night he takes any chance to sit down #rei can be frequently spotted on SOME surface SOMEWHERE in the palace. sitting all splayed out and uncaring of propriety #because he is in PAIN and these shoes are STUPID and why do people wear them for ANYTHING . Royals are so IMPRACTICAL #yakumo keeps trying to avoid heels for the dance because he doesn't want to be any taller than he already is #i bet there's a full convo about it between him and eiden #eiden trying to reassure him that if he wants to wear heels then he shouldn't let others' perception stop him from doing so #but if he genuinely doesn't want to wear them then that's ok too #eiden craning his neck up at yakumo in heels like you're my pretty princess 1-2 heads taller than me your height doesn't matter 🥰 #i'm now torn. yakumo and rei both wearing heels now? in order to stay at similar heights? #or. rei starting out with heels. getting tired of them. going barefoot for the rest of the night lol #yakumo and rei still dancing in their ballgowns together but a much shorter rei leads a yakumo in heels #yes. yes this is the vision #yakumo #rei #yakurei #replies

[scintillyyy]

honestly, though. sometimes when the drakes are discussed it does seem a little "oh, they never would never do <insert terrible fanon trait here>, they just <insert a different trait they....also never really did and is actually kind of contradicted by canon? here>"

#honestly i'm usually fairly forgiving about the second because i'm sure i'm guilty of it too lmao #and it's also like. that's usually more of personal intepretation/reading thing which should have different viewpoints #variety is the spice of life and all #& i like defending the drakes AND talking about how they failed #but sometimes the thing that is confidently stated they do instead is something canon directly contradicts. #they never would force feed him something he's allergic to #they would just have super strict expectations of his behavior & not be affectionate #meanwhile the expectations are limited to don't wear a t-shirt to a wedding rehearsal and jack is shown hugging tim like every 5 issues #(and janet is dead and can have no expectations but the only time we see her she's like “you can be whatever you want to be sweetie :)”) #and they are shown having a very iconic outing with him and they treat him nice & want him to have a good time & are very loving #i too want to swing the pendulum the other way but that second one does apply to both good and bad traits lmao #“jack was just trying to get close to his son” well. no he really wasn't. #or “jack never cared about his son & never tried to listen to him” well that's not exactly true either #god i love them. my polarizing flawed family.

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: Dan

So I have a lot of thoughts about Dan, and just so we're clear I haven't read the new comic yet so not sure how the new material affects his character

Dan is a character that in DPxDC is see being just casually there... which is wild in context of his character because he was like suuuuper evil. Like i get liking his character and wanting to include him, but it rarely makes sense, sometimes it does, but man we love to do a handwavy "after his redemption arc" thing without actually talking about his redemption arc

So, let's give him a redemption arc, and lets make it get pretty gay

So stages of grief, I'm going to outright misuse it intentionally so don't tell me I'm using it wrong, I am well aware it is about coming to terms with your own death. Let's say in ultimate enemy, he was in the stage of Anger. He was angry. Angry at himself, at the world, at the stupid ghosts that messed up his life, he was angry and he took that out on everyone. Now here he is, his family is alive, his friends are alive, and he still is angry, but at himself. He can't go back to them, he's literally a whole other person than the Danny they know

So self destructive spiral. He's hard partying, hard drinking, waking up in a random gutter in Gotham, and doing it all again. He might also be dabbling in other illicit substances. The point is, if he wasn't already dead his behavior would lead to a quick grave

So we have this miserable, sad sack of a man who has done terrible things regularly abusing alcohol(and maybe more)

Now there's another character that had a similar issue. One Red Arrow turned Arsenal and his heroin addiction...

So who better to find Dan than the same man that got Roy sober and sponsored him?

That's right, Waylon Jones aka Killer Croc

To large, beefy, grumpy men with goodness hidden inside them bonding, maybe falling in love? all while Waylon helps Dan work through his emotional baggage and get clean

it has everything:

angst, emotions, bonding, gay, and potentially a happy ending for two former villains

#dp x dc #danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #this is inspired by the fact I think the first step to redeeming Dan is making him absolutely miserable and self destructive #Also just need to ask the question of whether he can be redeemed #which considering ho many people he killed probably not? #idk it's just i rarely see people actually want to handle his redemption #they just have him be already redeemed so he can be there and also usually don't do anything with him #I like the character but it's always distracting #like we pay more attention to Jason's villainous past than Dan's #and Dan is probably a sub darksied level threat in canon #I feel like if there was anyone who could understand Dan and struggling with a past as a villain it would be waylon

[belligerentbagel]

smüch

#resorting to just. a link to the song because the lyrics are actually way more wistful and sad than the atmosphere here! but good vibes #widojest #caleb widogast #jester lavorre #critical role #draws #don't think i did quite as tidy a cleanup job as i usually do on pencils but i just wanted to see if i could still *do* pencils! #and i can! whoop #(*squints at jester's freckles; which have completely vanished ಠ_ಠ*) #ah well! memory for the future that pencil freckles need to be WAY darker than you think they need to be

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

#sci speaks #i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me. #i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men. #i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring. #also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life. #this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed. #lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??” #“why are you together??????????” #i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror. #i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better. #the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified #but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships. #just an observation. #i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but. #of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does. #it makes a difference. it does. #which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body” #im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me. #i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have. #my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here. #sorry this went off on a tangent. #but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues. #i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous. #i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got. #once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that! #couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.

[trivalentlinks]

Let F be a Floer homology theory. For the purposes of this talk, you can assume it's any Floer homology theory you like, and if you don't like any Floer homology theory, then pretend you do like one and assume it's that one

-- a conference speaker

#floer homology #math #maths #mathblr #you really should have at least one Floer homology theory you like!! #i have for a while wanted to do a longpost about floer homology #a very cool concept that shouldn't yield anything but miraculously does #and also about the guy who came up with it (andreas floer) #who was a very interesting guy #he died in 1991 at age 34 which is usually when an academic is only starting to build their influence #and thus didn't have any phd students #and most people in the math community don't seem to have known him personally #(his wikipedia page has a section of quotes about him but they're all about his math #which is pretty much universally agreed to be one of the most striking developments of modern mathematics) #but one time they did a memorial conference a couple years ago in his honour at (uc) berkeley #where they talked about the extremely fruitful field of research he pioneered #they put up posters around campus advertising the conference that happened to have a picture of him #and apparently a bunch of old guys showed up who knew nothing about math #it turned out they were his housemates in the gay commune he used to live in #who were going for a walk around campus and saw a poster with his photo and were like #'wait isn't that our buddy who died twenty-some years ago??' #apparently they knew nothing about math so it was totally incomprehensible to them but they attended the whole conference anyway

[cerise-on-top]

Nikolai with a s/o who always has a hand on his chest? With consent ofc, and it’s always to feel his heartbeat. I think of this all the time and it’s always super cute in my head.

Hello! That is pretty cute!

Nikolai Always with Reader’s Hand on His Chest

Nikolai is a pretty laid back and chill sort of man, so he usually doesn’t mind you putting your hand over his heart. Maybe not while you’re walking, though, he doesn’t want you to trip. It’s very sweet to him: You wanna make sure that he’s alive? That he’s still with you? That his heart is still beating? Trust me, not even death could take him away from you. He’d dig his way out of his grave after killing the reaper with his bare hands himself. You can always put your hand over his chest while you’re at home together, though. It’s nice to feel you. After a while it would be reassuring to him as well, feeling that you’re there, that you’re with him. He thinks it’s sweet that you always want to be touching him, because if it was up to you he’d do the same thing with you. After some time, once he’s realized that you’re always touching him whenever you can, he tries to get into positions that facilitate you touching him a bit. Usually lies on his back when you’re cuddling so you have full access to him. Can and will fall asleep like that, but will also want to hold you back. Will also put his hand over your heart as well so he can “get back at you”. In reality, feeling your heartbeat is also just nice and reassuring to him. However, he sometimes might lie on your chest in order to hear it as well, something like it lulls him to sleep, after all. You can put your hand over his chest in public as well, though, he doesn’t particularly mind cuddling in public either. There’s a good chance you’ll be nicely clothed, though, so you won’t feel his heartbeat unless you slip your hand under his clothes. You can do that, he doesn’t care about strangers staring in public. However, once it’s time to continue walking around, release him. You can continue your antics once you’ve found another nice bench to sit on.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #tomorrow is finally friday for me right now. I am so tired. but tomorrow I'm gonna take a long long nap #I have the next two weeks off but I can't promise that I'll be able to post too much during that time for driver's license reasons #I'll try but I have a lot of errands to run then #besides it's not like I get too many requests in per day luckily. at one point I got 4 requests in one night #now I get one. maybe two at most per day. which is good. it's relaxing and doesn't stress me out too much either #at one point I had eight requests sitting in my inbox despite working on them ever day. that was really stressful #but these days I'm more willing to close my inbox. people usually don't mind the waiting too much anyway #I do work as fast as I can though but I'm gonna stick with posting one request per day. that's a much better pace for me #haven't written for Nikolai in a while though. I'm glad people still like me writing characters other than the girls as well #but it seems as though for now I've become a cod girls centric blog haha #I don't mind. I'm just glad that people like my writing enough to want to request it. I'll write for just about anyone of the main charas #two exceptions apply but I refuse to write for them. i just genuinely don't like them #but I like Nikolai. he's good he's nice. he seems like someone who'd be great at giving bear hugs