#(but I appreciate the offer)

[cowardlycowboys]

Let me marry you!

unfortunately I don't think you can marry an anonymous person

#but i appreciate the offer

[feral-and-or-horny]

Do you accept girlcock submissions? 💕

I did at one point, but I kept getting minors sending them and so I'm not anymore. At least not for a while anyway

#sorry #but i appreciate the offer #my answer

[vexypest]

please I'll be you bbg if we can be friends

YES WE CAN BE FRIENDS 😭 HI

#I already have a bbg #but I appreciate the offer

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner? #and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section' #danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's) #so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.' #tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!' #dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again' #tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints? #tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills? #how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!' #damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager) #on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!! #uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

[cemeterything]

the thing i hate most about being a survivor of medical abuse as a result of being raised by conspiracy brained alternative health obsessed parents is that i know exactly why they did it. they genuinely thought that they were saving my life. people will ask me "how could anyone do that to their child?" but as far as they were concerned refusing to let me be vaccinated or take antibiotics and throwing out post-surgery prescription drugs (including the ones meant to prevent life threatening infections) was better than being responsible for my death, which their stupid little conspiracy posts and pamphlets assured them would be drawn out and terrible. obviously they wouldn't have been responsible for anything but a happier, healthier child and i suffered a lot of unnecessary pain, but in the reality they lived in the alternative was a dead kid. unfortunately that means i have to live with some of the most horrifying experiences of my life being points of personal pride and evidence of the protective power of familial love and good parenting for them, but that's what they say about the road to hell and good intentions innit.

#🐉 #sorry mommy i cant trust you to fetch me a drink without spiking it with some snake oil tincture #but i appreciate the offer :)

[shatterdome-underscore]

The four players on dndads each fall perfectly into the four ways of playing dnd

Matt: uses the mechanics to play pretend real hard in a way that is most beneficial to the group

Beth: is perfectly in tune with her character and makes very good, compelling character choices that are sometimes v upsetting

Will: is trying so hard to kiss his friends in fiction will someone please just give this guy a break

Freddie: playing 4-D chess with himself in a way that makes me cackle at his shenanigans

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads spoilers #matt arnold #beth may #will campos #freddie wong #freddie finally figuring out how to play a ranger right before Anthony offers to let them respec is v funny to me #but the moment he figured out how to get a +15 to stealth i knew. hes not gonna change #this is an appreciation post for all of them #and let me just say theyre all able to move between these archtypes and stuff and theyre all so good at their characters

[traumasurvivors]

“It’s okay if you thought you were over it but it hits you all over again.

It’s okay to fall apart even after you had it under control.

You are not weak. Healing is messy. And there is no timeline for healing.”

#I made an image of the quote that keeps getting stolen and falsely credited #I really appreciate any help spreading this version #or any other versions that offer proper credit #it doesn’t matter to me if they credit my tumblr #or website #or instagram #etc

[farannir]

evermore (2020) lyrics that punched me in the gut and/or embraced me in the warmest of hugs

#tsedit #tswiftedit #taylor swift #tswift #evermore #lyrics #hi swiftie tumblr i see you all and i appreciate you #and humbly offer you this edit #inspiration struck and made me dust off the ol' photoshop #i just suddenly had the vision for the happiness one and it spiralled from there #i really missed making edits #this was so fun #originally this was supposed to be a collection of my fav ts songs across all albums #but after i made the happiness and right where you left me ones #i figured focusing on one album would result in a more cohesive aesthetic #maybe i will do sth similar for some of the other albums? we shall see #the eras have been era-ing in my brain recently #oc

[elitadream]

A princess and her community service hero. 😌💖☀️

#Mario #Princess Peach #Mareach #Mario Sunshine #aka a bad day made better #this image kept looping inside my mind while I was playing the game #it wouldn't leave me alone so I decided to draw it 🤭 #just Peach offering a goop-covered Mario her handkerchief #as a gesture of support and endearment 🥰 #mutual affection and appreciation #my OTP #they're so dear to me 😭 #Super Mario Bros #fanart

[juiche]

I recently binged Daredevil. And then binged it again ☺️

#please accept my humblr offering #of Matt “I can break you without breaking a single law” Murdock uvu #his done with life expression was so fun to draw #and I know his hobo outfit is the least appreciated in the fandom but I love it :') #daredevil #marvel daredevil #matt murdock #marvel fanart #daredevil fanart #matt murdock fanart #matthew murdock #marvel #mcu #tw: blood #tw: bruises

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Its Poppy the beloved!! <3 (I hope you like it :] )

i am once again asking - Is She Single

#OUGH AGH OUGH HELLOOOOO MA'AM <3 #shes so gorgeous #and the outfit you gave her is TOP fuckin tier #id join her for tea any day.... #she's so.... sooooo <3 #i am a women enjoyer and oh boy. That Sure Is The Most Woman Ever Ough <3 #rambles from the bog #offerings to the bog #THANK YOU FOR THE MEAL <3<3<3 I APPRECIATE YOU SHARING!

[stealingyourbones]

Today is the second time I’ve found a bone in fast food chicken nugget esque items.

When will my curse of finding bones in unsuspecting things end.

#bones speaks #i brought it to the manager of the store bc I know they would greatly appreciate having the bone to test to make sure it isn’t a- #huge food safety issue if it isn’t a chicken bone #they comped my meal which I didn’t expect or ask but I accepted bc I don’t want them to think I might sue bc I’m not taking compensation #they were very nice. much nicer than my McDonalds bone finding where they didn’t offer to comp the meal but instead offered me MORE- #CHICKEN NUGGETS YA KNOW FROM THE SAME BATCH I FOUND A BONE IN #the one I just found was most likely chicken. the one from McDonalds was absolutely a small rodent bone. probably a mouse or rat #i just wanted to try out some chicken fries after not going to Burger King for 10 years and instead I found bones :(

[itwoodbeprefect]

going into manner of death you may think this is a show about an adult man with an adult job (performing autopsies on his childhood friends), but the further you get, the more clear it becomes that this is actually a show about an adult man with way too many adult jobs (he also treats patients in the ER, gets called in for emergency surgery, and juggles several potentially connected murder investigations as an unpaid side gig). no wonder literally every single person around him keeps randomly handing him food, even though we know he's a good cook. with only twenty-four hours in a day, it's a miracle he even finds the time to be weird and domestic with his prime murder suspect and their pet cactus

#the only medical job he doesn't seem to take on is running the illegal abortion clinic in town #and it sort of feels like that's mostly because he hasn't been back long and didn't know it existed. i believe in you dr. bun #given a little time to settle in you could be cool enough to offer illegal abortions too!! #* #manner of death #anyway. loved this one! it got a touch insane and hard to follow in that final episode but i deeply appreciate what it was trying to do

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Jesper: My husband doesn’t want to instil his fear of spiders on our son so he, very calmly, reports them to me like some kinda mob boss. “Jes, theres a situation near the sink. I need you to take care of it. Immediately. No loose ends. I want proof when the job is done”

Jesper: I have tried to tell him spiders are important for the ecosystem he likes so much, but he’s certain that theres ‘no space for an ecosystem in the kitchen’

#wylan: well go return him to that ecosystem #hes scared of bees and spiders #he appreciates them from a distance but not in his space #nina: what would you do if jes wasnt home? #wylan: send his offspring in to do the job as hes not terrified of them #kaz: youd sacrifice your son to the spider? #wylan: sacrifice is such a strong word #wylan: i prefer ‘offering’ #soc #six of crows #soc incorrect quotes #jesper fahey #wesper #wesper parents

[satans-knitwear]

My gif(t) to you 🎀✨

Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me

#my gif to you #I offer u some joy & tiddies and juicy thighs in this often exhausting season. #satans knitwear #Any tips or treats are always massively appreciated ❤️ and would be v useful for this time of year #bi girl #cheeky #uk girl #wlw #alt pinup #pinup girl #pretty lingerie #Stockings

[a-s-levynn]

Tiny Token wishes to offer their deepest affections to everyone who desires to receive it on this day of celebration of love

#i love you all and i hope today is kind to all of you #guys i really can't do individual messages to everyone because i would be terrified of missing someone out #so this is my offering to the pool of extra bit of love and fun stuff going around today #but i will answer to everyone who sent me stuff because i appreciate it beyond words #tiny token #sleep token #sleep token fanart