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knickknacksandallthat · 6 months

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I was watching hockey the other day and the announcers were talking about how on the penguins, there are three player who are setting the record for the longest tenure as teammates. they've been playing together for 18 years, i'm sure you can see where my brain went

Anon, yessss!! Omg I can literally just see the interview now:

(Jean, Jeremy, and Kevin sitting in a room with an interviewer)

INTERVIEWER: Well, thanks for sitting down with me, guys! And listen, a few of us were just talking about this - the three of you have been together on the same team for around 10 years now, right?

JEREMY: *smiling* Yep!

JEAN: If you say so.

INTERVIEWER: Wow, that's quite the tenure! Did you know, in fact, that you three are close to setting a record within the league?

KEVIN: What record?

INTERVIEWER: Most consecutive years together on a team.

JEAN: *raises eyebrow* they have records for this?

KEVIN: Who currently holds it?

INTERVIEWER: uh...well I think it's technically Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard with the Dragons.

JEREMY: Awww, good for them!

JEAN: *snorts*

INTERVIEWER: *clears throat* well, in any case, uh...that's quite the achievement, you know? Tell us - what's your secret? What's the magic between you three?

JEREMY: *still smiling* hmm, I wonder.

KEVIN: Practice, hard work, and experience.

INTERVIEWER: Well, I'm sure the time you train together accounts for a lot, but...there's nothing...else you'd say helps?

JEAN: Like?

INTERVIEWER: Um, like...well, you know...like friendship?

JEAN: *blinking* Friendship.

INTERVIEWER: Yeah, man...I mean, after all this time, I would think the three of you have grown so close that you'd be more like bros, you know?

JEAN: *frowning now* Bros.

JEREMY: *biting lip silently against grin* Ohhhh, right. Got it. Yeah man, for sure. Bros.

INTERVIEWER: Exactly! Homies, man.

KEVIN: *tone dripping with derision* Homies.

INTERVIEWER: Three dudes with the most sacred of all bonds - sports.

JEREMY: *now shaking with repressed laughter* Oh, for sure, my dude. Homies. Brotherly bonding. Soooooo hetero. The most.

(Kevin turns to scowl at Jeremy.)

INTERVIEWER: You know, it actually kind of surprised many of us that you didn't end up on a team with Neil and Andrew, Kevin. If anyone, those two are who many of us would have thought you'd be setting this record with.

JEREMY: Oh my god. *doubles over laughing*

JEAN: *smirking* Yes, tell us, Kevin. Why aren't you on a team with Neil and Andrew? Accomplishing this sacred connection of brotherly bonding?

KEVIN: *pinches bridge of nose with fingers before sighing* Let's just say being on the same team with them at the Olympics is more than enough.

KEVIN: *grumbles under breath* The damn pair of menaces.

-------------------

INTERVIEWER: Josten and Minyard, we were just out talking to your rivals on the West Coast last week - Jeremy Knox, Jean Moreau, and your former PSU teammate, Kevin Day, from the Warriors.

*Both stare silently at him*

INTERVIEWER: *coughs* Right, so, we were just saying how that trio is coming up on your record for teammates with the most time spent together on one team.

NEIL: And? What's your point?

INTERVIEWER: *loosens tie* oh, well, there was a little curiosity, I guess, around why Kevin chose that team instead of coming to play for the Dragons - with the two of you, I mean, his former teammates. Um...do you know why that is?

NEIL: Because Andrew would probably stab him.

INTERVIEWER: I...what?

NEIL: *waving hand back and forth* Yeah, I'd probably give it two weeks at most.

INTERVIEWER: ...

NEIL: See, Kevin would whine and nag, and Andrew would get pissed but he promised Wymack he wouldn't, no matter how much Kevin annoys him. So...yeah. It's probably better that they both stay on opposite ends of the country.

INTERVIEWER: ...

ANDREW: *pulling lollipop out of mouth* Never let a sad, forty-something year old man convince you to promise shit.

#anon this was brilliant #I had so much fun with this #thanks for letting me run with it #kerejean #kevin day #jeremy knox #jean moreau #neil josten #andrew minyard #AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES #lolz #all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #fic asks #lovely people #thanks for ask anon!

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ghastigiggles · 6 months

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a test of endurance

i got an ask that inspired me and went a little insane. So more Furina content! this is actually a little more of a personal piece too (haha put too much of my experience in the fic, whhhhhoops) but i hope its something other people can also indentify with!

no explicit ships but my bias is... visible.

obligatory disclaimer; this is a sfw tickle fic meant to be consumed by all ages, nothing nsfw is intended or implied o7 - also, more heavy Fontaine 4.2 spoilers, would reccomend having completed the Archon Quests up to the end of 4.2 & potentially Furina's personal quest before reading.

It was the 40th year into her godhood when the concept was introduced to her for the first time.

It was around 10:14 in the morning. She had finished her cake, and stood before her usual mirror as the tailor came in. While most of her wardrobe had been premade designs up to this point, the Archon wanted – and deserved, of course – the latest in fashion, tailor-made to her tastes. Hence the commission.

“You’re early,” She’d chirped brightly. And the woman, chuckling, nodded, giving an awkward little bow around the massive bag she carried.

“Of course, I wasn’t going to risk being late for our esteemed Lady of Justice!”

“Very good! Early is on time, as they say! I actually value punctuality quite a bit, you know.”

“Then I am glad to be of full service to my Archon. Shall we?”

With all other staff quickly shooed from the room, Furina stripped down to her base layer – a simple undershirt and underwear – and stood more than a little awkwardly before the mirror, very suddenly hesitant to have another person see the closest thing to her truest self. She cast the tailor a look, smiling nervously.

“... Ahh… Are you quite sure we couldn’t have done this with the clothes on?”

“Please, Lady Furina, be at ease! We’re just taking measurements – wouldn’t be able to do that accurately with all the layers in the way. I promise not to judge you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No – no, not at all! Forgive me, I’m just… Unused to this, is all.”

She watched in the mirror as the tailor procured a measuring tape from her oversized bag of wonders, approaching her from behind and offering a comforting pat on the shoulder and smile.

“I understand. It can’t be too often that a mortal personally measures an Archon! Just relax – it shouldn’t take long at all. Hold your arms out like this, would you?”

Furina mimicked her T-pose, staring at herself incredulously in the mirror, and the tailor chuckled at her expression, starting with measuring her height. And, to her credit, Furina found herself at ease as the woman made small talk about a recent court case they’d both sat in on.

It went south when the measuring tape was wrapped around her waist, and the tailor pressed her thumb a little too sharply into Furina’s side, sending an utter jolt up through her entire body that caused her arms to fly down and undignified squawk to leave her lips.

“Ah… My apologies, Lady Furina, did I hurt you?”

“N-no! I don’t… Think so?” The sensation certainly hadn’t been pain, but it wasn’t necessarily pleasurable, either – so… “What… Was that?”

She slowly lifted her arms, and the tailor tilted her head. She seemed to weigh something in her mind before giving the Archon’s side another experimental pinch, making her fold slightly with yet another jarring noise.

“Aie! S - stop that!”

“I see… Please forgive me, Lady Furina, I didn’t know you were ticklish.”

11:04, in the springtime of her 40th year. The first time the word hit her ears. The first time it made her gut fizzle and her face heat up, puzzling her to no end.

“... Ticklish? What… What is that?”

“Oh, I suppose it would be foreign to an Archon, huh…” The tailor blinked, then laughed softly, pulling her hands back so that Furina could relax; “It’s described as a sensation between pleasure and pain. Usually, people use it as a bonding method when they’re rough-housing. Most people dislike it, though.”

“... Oh.”

That… Really explained very little, if she was honest, but she felt embarrassed enough without reopening that can of worms. Besides, she was much more preoccupied with the tailor lifting her measuring tape to pick up where they left off. Just the possibility made her reflexively clamp her arms down again, her face burning, and the tailor laughed.

“Rest assured, Lady Furina, I’ll be more careful this time! It won’t happen again.”

“R-right… On with it, then…”

She managed to pull her arms back up again, and though she flinched preemptively as the tape went around her waist, the expected sensation never came, and the rest of their business went on as normal.

Yet, as the door closed behind the tailor, Furina grappled with a sense of disappointment and confusion, glancing back at herself in the mirror for an answer that didn’t come.

It was 2:45 pm on her 234th year. She was in the secret study, books scattered around her, and her nose buried in a dictionary, of all things.

It was possible, perhaps, that a solution could be found even in such an unlikely place. Desperation and futility drove her to search in odder and odder forms for even a sliver of hope – though, admittedly, by now she’d allowed herself to get distracted learning several words she’d never heard before, saying them out loud to herself and trying to find ways to work them into everyday vocabulary.

And that was when she flipped the page and saw it.

tickle verb tick·le ˈti-kəl tickled; tickling ˈti-k(ə-)liŋ 1: to touch (a body part, a person, etc.) lightly so as to excite the surface nerves and cause uneasiness, laughter, or spasmodic movements 2: to excite or stir up agreeably; to provoke to laughter or merriment they were tickled by the clown's antics. 3: to touch or stir gently a pianist tickling the ivories.

Of course, all variations of the word were there, and Furina felt her heart stop for a solid moment, fixated on the page. She didn’t quite understand why even reading the definition of the word made her stomach do flustering, wanting flips, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away.

The blood rushing in her ears must’ve deafened her, too, because she didn’t notice her assistant in the room until he hesitantly tapped her shoulder, making her jump and slam the book shut, her face flushed and burning with embarrassment as she whipped to face him.

“What?! What! Have you forgotten how to knock?!”

“I-I did, Lady Furina, multiple times! I spoke your name, too, but to no response! Forgive me for startling you, it was not my intention!”

She released a soft breath at the man’s terrified and apologetic look, pausing to rub her temples and gather her wits.

“I… See. I apologize for snapping at you. Any updates?”

“N-no, Lady Furina. I just came to tell you that the teams are turning in for the day. The search was fruitless again.”

“Understood. Thank you for keeping me in the loop.”

The man gave a terse nod, and Furina watched him go for a moment before speaking up again, making him freeze.

“By the by… How much did you see?”

“... I saw nothing, Lady Furina.”

“Good. You’re dismissed!”

His shoulders slumped with relief, and he hurried out of the room. Furina waited until she heard the door close down the hall before she slumped down herself, with defeat and exhaustion rather than relief.

She really had to get the idea out of her head.

–

It was 5:45 in the evening, in the winter of her 300th year exactly, when she weighed her options.

Sitting on Neuvilette’s desk, today, she flipped through old case files with him, hardly focused on the words on the page – she knew the damned things by heart at this point, anyway, and she was sure he did too. This was all routine, and all they were really supposed to do was look at the dates and decide which cases could he safely archived and vaulted, and which should stay accessible. Yet, it had been a fun trip down memory lane for the both of them, recalling absurdities and tragedies during the court cases that brought them nostalgia.

The Iudex was the closest thing Furina had to a friend, in her opinion. He was a rock that she could cling to, for better or worse, which made the lying she had to do sting so much more… She could only hope moments like this more than made up for it.

Which brought her to her current internal struggle.

The concept of tickling had been weighing on her mind again. More than once, when these moods struck her, she had tried tickling herself, using makeup brushes and fallen feathers from various accessories to scratch the itch, as it were – yet, if anything, she only grew itchier.

She had profited, relatively recently, from a one-on-one with one of her nation’s independent researchers, when they requested an audience. It just so happened that they had a little interest in the topic on a scientific level, and were more than happy to share details with their curious Archon – confirming, among many other things, that she could not do it to herself.

A pity. But a truth that now led her to her conundrum; would it be weird to get Neuvillette to do it?

Furina thought they were close. It should be fine. And yet – what if he thought less of her for being curious, or, Celestia forbid, liking it? He would never tell the people, but if he ended up disgusted, she would never be able to look him in the eye again.

Yet, on the other hand… He was always tolerant of her drama and antics, and she’d certainly known him long enough to recognize when he was hiding a smile. Maybe he’d like it, too, and they’d have something more to bond over? Or, at the very least, he’d be tolerant and understanding of it.

“Lady Furina, are you quite alright? You’ve been staring at the same page for awhile.”

His voice cut through her thoughts and made her jump, blushing lightly as she side-eyed him. He wasn’t even looking at her, flipping a page in his own file while she cleared her throat and laughed, theatrical as ever.

“But of course! I was just reminiscing on all of these cases! It is great fun to revisit them, from time to time.”

“Hmm.”

He seemed content enough with that answer. Furina stared at him for a moment, her smile falling as she returned to her quandary for the briefest of moments – and decided to commit, stretching her arms up over her head with a dramatic groan.

“Ugh, but sitting here for so long makes one so stiff!”

“You’re welcome to walk around the office to stretch your limbs for a moment, if you’d like.”

Still, Neuvillette hadn’t looked up, and she dropped her arms, swallowing a sigh. She kicked her legs for a moment, looking around for some other way to hint him towards what she wanted. Her gaze settled on the stack of closed files across the desk from her, just barely out of reach, and she smiled, snapping her current case shut and reaching across the desk before him, grunting theatrically with the effort of her stretch.

Neuvillette, finally, looked up from the page – and sighed, taking the file from Furina’s hand and adding it to the pile for her.

“If you need help, just say so.”

“Oh… Thanks…”

She drew her hand back into herself and wilted a bit, the disappointment eating at her. Neuvillette stared at her for a moment before humming, shutting his own file.

“Is… Something wrong?”

“Ah – n-no, no! Nothing at all!”

Furina forced a smile, perking herself back up stiffly, and Neuvillette tilted his head a little, his own expression carefully neutral.

“Are you sure? If there’s anything I can do, you need only ask.”

She felt heat rush to her face at the simple notion of verbalizing her request. Somehow, the idea made her throat feel tight, and the flight instinct kicked in as she hopped off the desk, shaking her head.

“No no no! There’s nothing wrong, I’m just… Hungry! Are you hungry? I’ll fetch us a cake, and we can take a break! Be right back!”

Leaving no room for Neuvillette to get a word in edgewise, she turned and hurried out the room, her cheeks hot and heart hammering.

Neuvillette, for his part, simply watched her go with a faint smile and a sigh, shaking his head.

“One day…”

–

Why are her nails so long.

It was 1:13 pm in the early spring of her 499th year when she met with Arlecchino for their usual tea, and the first time that she had noticed the Harbinger’s – let’s face it, claws – practically pierced through her gloves.

Furina shoveled cake into her mouth, already fuelled by nervousness, but the nails drumming against the surface of the table across from her only added new butterflies to the mix. Arlecchino prattled on about something or another, but Furina had long since stopped listening, plagued by unbidden fantasies.

For example, feeling those nails scratching ruthlessly at her underarms. Or having her blouse unbuttoned so that they could trace the expanse of her stomach uninhibited. Or having her leg be seized and the back of her knee tormented by the spidering claws. Or –

“ – Don’t you think so, Lady Furina?”

“... Huh?”

She blinked, her face flushing as she realized she hadn’t been listening at all. Arlecchino sighed, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

“Honestly, you’re more distracted than usual, today. What are you so hung up on?”

“A-aaahhh, nothing! Nothing at all,” She giggled nervously, trying and failing to recover from the blunder; “I’m just… Still excited! For the magic show tonight!”

“Ah… Well, it does give me heart to hear that my children have the Archon’s attention. I hope their wellbeing has her heart, too.”

Arlecchino’s motivated stare made Furina stiffen, and she offered a tight-lipped smile, nodding furtively.

“Of course, of course! The wellbeing of my people is always my priority. That being said, I think we should call it here, so I have time to get ready.”

“As you wish. It’s been a pleasure, as always.”

They shared a tense nod, and Furina stood up first, stiffly walking out of the room as Arlecchino’s nails haunted her thoughts on the way out.

I’m going to go insane.

–

“What time is it?”

“Hmm… 9:52, I think.”

“Okay… Okay.”

It was 9:52 pm in the early autumn of her 500th year when it finally, finally happened.

“You remember the rules?”

“Ugh… Yes.”

“And you remember the safewords?”

“Dendro, Geo, Pyro.”

“Good girl. Are you ready?”

In her bed, in her humble apartment, Furina was no longer an Archon, and Navia was no longer her enemy; rather, the young woman straddled her waist all-too-comfortably, keeping Furina’s body pinned to the bed. The ex-primadonna herself grasped the headboard desperately to keep herself under control, her skin already buzzing with anticipation.

“Oh my god, yes, just do it already!”

“Ask nicely…”

“Navia!”

Navia laughed, endlessly amused by how flustered and on edge Furina was, and finally lifted her hands, forming claws with her fingers. She feinted a lunge, and Furina flinched, but kept her arms up, her knuckles going white as her arms shook and she whined.

“C-come onnn, haven’t I already waited long enough?!”

“Okay, okay… You’re right.”

Sticking out her tongue, Navia lunged again – but, this time, she grasped Furina’s sides and squeezed repeatedly, and Furina practically shrieked, her arms already flying down to uselessly clamp over her assailants hands.

“Oh, you’ve already lost,” Navia tutted, anything but disappointed; “Guess that means you have to take the punishment.”

“Khheehee – you’re so meheehee – mehEHEAAN TO ME!”

Furina cackled, throwing her head back and kicking uselessly as Navia slipped her hands under her nightshirt and scribbled across her skin with her own manicured nails, giggling right along.

“I know. And you love it.”

And, of course, Navia was right; she really did.

The wait was worth it.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin tickle #furina #neuvillette #arlecchino #navia #lee!furina #ler tag is a secret wooooo #youre not allowed to judge me for any projection btw you need to be nice to me now because i baked you a cake here #sneezes. i actually dont have too many funnyhaha tags this time. srry #also sorry that the major content is so short lolz. i'm a tease i know /shot #my fic

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