Mild act 2 Durge spoilies
My Dark Urge has been vehemently denying any thoughts of bloodlust to their companions and has hiddentheir evil deeds whenever possible (threw a certain body in the river and played dumb about where they went, for example) so imagine my shock when everyone knew about his deep dark secret after the most harrowing night of his life.
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i just got the vision in my mind of Cleo and Etho having like. like those sliding pronoun pins but instead it has two options and one of them is Divorce and the other is Newly Wed. and they just fucking walk over to eachother and slide it to the other one. sometimes they go on like nothing happened and sometimes they just like. bite each other
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I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."
it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.
I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.
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I've had this rotating around in my brain for the past month do you see my vision
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I think more people (me) should stop using Ravens and other corvids to act as omen's of death when doing a symbolism and start using Pīwakawaka as omens of the death instead.
You may not like it, but this is what peak death omen looks like.
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I'm so sorry you're hurting yourself like this. You're clearly an autistic young woman. I hope you get the help you need ❤️
thank you so much!! i really needed this encouragement. it means so much to hear you call me a woman, especially since im a cisgender male.
i will get the help i need! ill look into hormone replacement therapy and become the beautiful autistic young woman you see inside me!!
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