#*noodlespeaks

[spookyjarchivist]

while i do have a soft spot for “hobbits age slower than humans so 33 for them is our physical 18” i rlly dont think that’s how it is bc they get to about the same age as humans before death by old age, i also really dont think we appreciate enough a few things about what this means narratively and thematically

tolkien really said no child soldiers, no 20-something year old soldiers, they’re not really adults yet, they barely know anything of the world we’re sending them to die for it and that’s not okay, not when there are other options

he also addresses this with the hobbits specifically, frodo and bilbo are 50 when they go on their journeys, FIFTY, and we can see that they handle them differently than the others. while bilbo changes afterwards, it’s not in a coming of age like we would see if 50 really was the equivalent of ~27, he just accepts a part of himself he’s been suppressing for years, for him it’s accepting that getting older and being an adult doesn’t restrict you from the excitement and opportunities of youth. similarly frodo doesn’t change much either outside of his ptsd, all of his change is trauma, not maturity

now sam and merry are both past the age of majority, but they still grow into themselves in a way bilbo and frodo do not, they mature

but pippin, sweet beautiful pippin grows the most out of all of them. he’s the most childish, always running after his cousins and you can tell he’s not even 30, this is HIS coming of age story, before this journey he’s known nothing of true responsibilities, but by the end he’s ready for when he eventually has to take over as thain of the shire

and i think that this is a really beautiful way of saying something that has started to get really popular in the last few years

instead of being terrified of that big 30, we should be excited for it, we should embrace it wholeheartedly, because it’s the time when we’ve finally started ironing out the last of the kinks in being an adult, we’re growing into our responsibilities and and we can start learning how to cultivate that balance of responsibility and excitement and FUN that makes life living instead of surviving

#tolkien #lord of the rings #lotr #hobbits #the hobbit #god i love these books so much #tolkien was so far ahead of his time #like obviously he had some issues #the race issues have had some really good talking points lately thanks to rop and people being more receptive to these discussions #but like everything else aged pretty well #his themes on gender are rarely paralleled even today by shit that passes the bechdel test #which is insane #*noodlespeaks

[celestial-rune]

Hello my guys! I am feeling a bit bored atm, if you would like a drawing done send me a message. It can be a silly doodle to a fully coloured piece. I can draw mechs or animals and I struggle a bit with poses but I will do my best to draw you something if you want!

#drawing offer #announcement #NoodleSpeaks

[thatnoodledoodle]

i’ve written an excessive amount and,,, it’s all bad

#in every sense of the word #noodlespeaks #i had been writing smth earlier #and i fell asleep and lost it #and i'm so upset bc it was at least decent writing #i'll piece smth together from the mess i've created

[noodlestudying]

introduction post

about me: hi!! i’m laura, i’m 21 years old and i’m a psychology student from brazil!! for now i’m focusing on analytical psychology as my studying emphasis, but i also love psychoanalysis and radical behaviorism. i’m also very much interested in social studies. also i really like mayuri shiina and k-on girls so i’ll be using gifs of them frequently because i can

other interests: anime, gaming, poetry, writing (!!!)

why i’m here: i love studying and being organized, but i struggle a lot with it as everyone probably does, so i created this blog to help me get some motivation and vent when i need to!! currently i’m starting to work on my undergraduate thesis so that’s a reason too because i know i’ll frustrate myself a lot lol

some tags i’ll be using: #noodlespeaks for venting, #noodlestudies for all studying related stuff

i’m noodle#0668 on discord, add me if you need a study buddy!

#studyblr #studying #study buddy #studies

[neatsushi-blog]

update: i still want to die

#mental illness #noodlespeaks

[noodleos]

wowowo thanks for following e everyone !!!

#noodlespeaks

[spookyjarchivist]

i do love fun nitpicking of the lotr movies, but the one thing people will point out that bothers me is “meat’s back on the menu”

they’ll be like “how do orcs know about menus???”

but guys middle earth has a reasonably high probability of having menus, im sure they have restaurants and we know they have inns/pubs/taverns/etc that sell food, so they gotta have menus, we have no reason to think orcs are unaware of any other general purpose item in middle earth, why would menus be a blind spot?

at minimum we’re assuming that no orc has ever attacked an inn which is ridiculous, and if they’ve attacked an inn then it’s reasonable to assume they’ve sacked the place looking for usable stuff which means they’ve undoubtedly come across a menu, and if one restaurant’s been attacked then probably many have been attacked and then we have a reasonably large amount of orcs that know about menus and could spread the word and we really only need that one group of orcs to know about them

also, there’s no reason that they couldn’t have their own menus? we know that they grow food in mordor in the books at least, and we hear and see no contradiction to that in the movies, so then the question becomes: how do they distribute it? could be restaurants

now im not saying that’s likely, but i AM saying it’s a possibility and that therefore orcs could reasonably know what menus are

also since there’s technically no evidence to suggest there’s no restaurants in mordor, i propose we instead put our thoughts of orcs and menus to thoughts of orc restaurant inspections! i want the orc version of kitchen nightmares! undercover boss but sauron’s a line cook! where’s orc!gordan ramsey?? what is, in fact, on the menu?? we know they know about menus, make them use them!

#tolkien #lord of the rings #lotr #middle earth #the hobbit #the lord of the rings movies #lotr orcs #sauron #*noodlespeaks

[spookyjarchivist]

i feel like the distortion likes to introduce itself as “the entity formerly known as” when it eats a new identity

rando: and who are u??

helen: well i used to be michael

rando: … and who are you now?

helen: the entity formerly known as michael (: but u can call me helen ((((:

rando: … so… are u trans or,,?

helen: i do not conform to your human concepts of gender and identity or even personhood and existence ):<

helen: so that’s a maybe tbh

rando: pronouns?

helen: oh yes thank you <3

#tma #helen distortion #michael distortion #the distortion #the magnus archives #*noodlespeaks #i know this doesn’t technically involve michael #but i bet he would do the same thing #i love the distortion in all its forms so goddamn much

[spookyjarchivist]

The difference between Bilbo and Frodo is so beautiful and yet heartbreaking. The most Frodo wanted out of life was maybe a trip to Rivendell and back, but he would have been satisfied with staying in the Shire. Bilbo would never have been satisfied with staying in the Shire his whole life, even if he truly believed he was until his dying day. The Shire was home for Frodo, but after Erebor Bilbo would never again be able to convince himself the Shire was more than a place to live. It meant a lot to him and he loved it, but it was Frodo who couldn’t part from it until trauma forced him to. The only reason Bilbo stayed in the Shire as long as he did was for Frodo or else he would have moved at least to Rivendell much sooner. Maybe even Erebor or Dale if it didn’t hurt too much. If Balin’s retaking of Moria had gone the way he had hoped maybe Bilbo would have even considered there. He was just too heartbroken after the quest to consider leaving until after Frodo came into his life. In another world where Drogo and Primula lived, Bilbo probably spent his last years in Erebor instead.

#the hobbit #lord of the rings #lotr #bilbo baggins #frodo baggins #*noodlespeaks #honestly bilbo might’ve stayed in Rivendell regardless #but i suspect only after the war of the ring #though that whole mess would be a little fucked with the changes #frodo was orphaned so bilbo would have to stay in shire #otherwise you KNOW he would’ve fucked off somewhere

[spookyjarchivist]

my favorite the hobbit fic trope is the company finding out bilbo is basically hobbit royalty and then they proceed to freak out over a perceived diplomatic disaster while bilbo is insisting he’s not a prince or a noble and the thain isnt a king in the background

bonus points if it’s before they really set out and thorin forces them to stop by tuckborough despite how out of the way it is to make sure there’ll be no diplomatic issues and the thain, confused but yes-and-ing his best, tries to act suitably king-like in front this actual king while bilbo despairs in the background bc clearly this dwarf guy needs the reassurance of fellow royalty

#tolkien #the hobbit #bilbo baggins #the company of thorin oakenshield #thorin oakenshield #*noodlespeaks #tbf bilbo isn’t wrong #but i doubt explaining that the thain’s more like a steward for the missing king of fucking gondor would help much #also i genuinely dont know who is the thain at this point bc everyone goes back and forth between gerontius and fortinbras #i COULD look it up and compare timelines or whatever but it’s more fun if im not nitpicking in my head #i have same feelings about the fell winter tbh #when the fell winter happens and whos thain when is a matter of VIBES not canon tbh

[spookyjarchivist]

ep 100 is obviously the funniest episode of the whole series bc it’s the only one staying firmly in the comedic genre yeah, but the best part is honestly that one dude leaving spiral bc he was late to dinner bc i can SEE the situation of him looking down at his watch or wtv and goin “oh shit im gonna be late!!” and michael goin “oh shit he’s gonna be late!!” and just letting him leave bc oh no he cant be late!!

#tma #the magnus archives #magnuspod #michael (distortion) #helen would do this too tbh #i know this isn’t specifically the distortion #and there’s no doors so it probably isn’t #but it’s very them #*noodlespeaks

[spookyjarchivist]

i know the classic time travel au is “one person goes back and THIS TIME they manage to seduce their love that they were unable to in canon OR reseduces their canon-but-slightly-au lover” but i gotta say the amount of magnus archives fic where future!jonmartin just fucking blast their relationship at past!jonmartin + the amount of hobbit/lotr fic ive been reading that goes more in-depth into cant-prove-its-not-canon cultural differences has given me a GENIUS idea

bagginshield time travel au where BOTH physically go back and just do seemingly innocuous stuff together that has the past!company being weirdly uncomfortable to the befuddlement of the other

f!thorin: *talking particularly close to f!bilbo’s ear*

p!bilbo: how d- whAt- inappropriate … in PUBLIC

p!dwarves: ??? they r literally just talking????

f!bilbo: *touches f!thorin’s hair for like half a second*

p!dwarves: *blushing intensely while refusing to look directly at either of the future couple in the face for at least the next hour*

p!bilbo: … did i miss something?

f!thorin: *gives f!bilbo some seemingly random flowers but p!bilbo can tell he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing regarding meanings*

p!bilbo: oh… oh dear *fans himself while blushing and staring pointedly in another direction*

p!dwarves: how could this possibly be inappropriate?

f!bilbo: *gives f!thorin a rlly shitty carved bear he made*

p!dwarves: how are u allowed in public????

p!bilbo: okay im starting to think ur just messing with me

#bagginshield #thilbo #the hobbit #the truth is that f!thilbo dont see any version of the company as ‘public’ #and its fun to mess with them #p!thorin gets grumpier and grumpier the more affectionate f!thorin is #and the more scandalized p!bilbo is #they probably end up doing more hobbit-y scandalous things bc they know p!bilbo will have the funniest reactions #BUT at one point gloin and balin nearly drag them apart for something and p!bilbo is left with the impression #that MAYBE just maybe he just saw the dwarven equivalent of foreplay bc that’s the strongest reaction the dwarves have shown so far #but in reality f!thorin just said a dumb sappy thing in khuzdul and they were tired of hearing it #*noodlespeaks

[spookyjarchivist]

#tolkien #the silmarillion #the hobbit #lord of the rings #polls #middle earth #lotr #gandalf #saruman #radagast #the blue wizards #alatar #pallando #melian #balrogs #sauron #mairon #*noodlespeaks #which doesn’t really have the same vibe #thought abt putting osse but he mostly just hangs out by the beach #fuck what are all sauron’s goddamn names??? #ah well these are the important ones

[spookyjarchivist]

i love how the fandom for the most part hates the tauriel storyline in the hobbit but instead of hating tauriel we all just decided to do this

like yeah nice oc jackson but we got it from here

#the hobbit movies #the hobbit #tauriel #peter jackson #*noodlespeaks #she’s our’s now pete #u Cannot have her back #u should have treated her right the first time

[spookyjarchivist]

gotta say, looking into tolkien’s views on women is so fucking funny bc he is both way ahead of the times and also very much of the time in the dumbest way possible

tolkien: u cannot help being man or woman, the body does not always reflect this inclination either

me: … okay missing a couple things but good for a sheltered english catholic cis guy born in the 1800s

tolkien: women are 100% capable of all the things men are, physically and mentally

me: yes!! absolutely!! you get it!

tolkien: shame they have no motivation for it bc they are naturally inclined due to their gender to want to be in the house

me: OH COME ON

better yet, check out his Catholic GuiltTM about being poly and COMPLETELY NOT UNDERSTANDING that it’s a-okay and not inherently sinful to have attraction for multiple people AND WANT to be with multiple people at the same time

note, he doesn’t seem to have a problem with the feelings themselves but the want to act on them and actually acting on them, which is… interesting,,, dude i know u know about homosexuals and likely were okay with them if not being what we would consider bi/pan today yourself, wtf was samfrosie at the end of the fucking book meant to be then???? is it nothing and u just needed to distract from the gay?? what is happening???

anyway imagine if he actually managed to get to intersectional feminism instead of doing his weird little essentialist thing, like it’s astonishing how feminist his works are despite him having these odd ideas, better than most media ive consumed made in this day and age, jackson’s movies are actively less feminist than the books, what the fuck

#lord of the rings #lotr #middle earth #the hobbit #tolkien #jrr tolkien #*noodlespeaks

[spookyjarchivist]

had the realization the other day that my mental image of martin blackwood is heavily influenced by sean astin’s samwise gamgee, like they’re definitely very different characters and have distinct looks in my head, you could never mix them up or anything like that, but i heard Big Soft Kind Boi with a side of Thinking About Killing You and i couldn’t not connect the two

i think they should be friends

#lord of the rings #samwise gamgee #tma #the magnus archives #martin blackwood #*noodlespeaks #let them be feral together