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ohbother2 · 3 months

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Tha hazbin hotel brainrot is so strong, your writing is so good im kicking feet hsujsjsn

May i request a Lucifer X reader where they are pining so badly for each other and ends up in a situation where they are very close to one another? Like the classic " oh shit we're stuck in a small space together and so close" or "whoops tripped and fell now I'm pinning you down and panicking" kind of thing but it's really all up to you <3 and then they end up just full on making out lol, cause yearning,,

(I simply need making out fics with the short king he's taking over my brain😭)

Thanks for requesting!! I had a lot of fun with this one :) Hope you enjoy! Also, I only realised when I went to post this that this ask didn't specify a f!reader, but I thought it did so just a warning for you guys. It's not too specific but... not entirely gender neutral.

This probably borderlines smut, so... minors DNI.

Lucifer x f!reader

PART II

You had been Lucifer's secretary for many years now, joining him just after the disappearance of his ex-wife Lilith when he had decided he needed more help with his duties. You had been there for some of the worst years of his life, assisting him through the highs and lows of being the King of Hell, had seen him at his worst, and at his best. You had helped guide him from the deepest depths of depression, and for that he was eternally grateful, batting away the darkness with a smile enchanting enough to light up the dingiest corners of Hell. He truly didn't know what he would do without you, and today that was evermore apparent.

It had been a long day, and Lucifer found himself sat at his large desk, dark bags sitting heavy underneath his tired and bloodshot eyes, jacket and hat discarded and head resting in his hands as he tried to focus on the mountains of paperwork scattered along his ornate desk. He had been stuck in this position for hours, and he could feel his back creak and something in his neck twinge whenever he shifted. He truly desired nothing more than to crawl into bed, but he had duties that he couldn't just abandon.

A soft knock at his door signals your presence, and only his gaze lifts when you enter, tray in hand and that familiar comforting smile adorned on your rosy lips. Your smile morphs into something more fond as you approach the hunched man, who runs his hands through his disheveled locks and leans back in his plush chair, hands rubbing at the tiredness of his eyes and dragging down his cheeks. He looked tired, he looked weary, his waistcoat unbuttoned, his shirt wrinkled and rolled to his elbows, blonde locks falling across his forehead. You always loved when he looked a little disheveled, appreciating his strong forearms that flexed as he clenched his hands into his hair. It was more rugged than he ever let himself look in any other situation, and you couldn't get enough. You had to fight a frown at seeing how utterly exhausted he was, however, not enjoying the darkness encircling his bright eyes. He didn't hide these things from you, he had no need to; you wouldn't threaten his power at seeing this display of weakness, you would just smile and offer reassurance, appearing with a cup of steaming tea to quell his nerves.

"Good evening, sir." You place the tray against the edge of the desk, trying not to disturb any of the numerous documents that lay strewn about, though you doubted there was any system to the disarray.

"'Evening." He leans further back in his chair, watching you tiredly as you shuffle some of his papers to the side. "How many times do I need to tell you not to call me that? We're good friends, 'Your Royal Highness' is more than fine.''

"Apologies, 'Your Majesty'." You attempt a curtsy, though that was hard with the tight pencil skirt you had chosen to wear today. He laughs at your efforts, taking the steaming tea from your hands with a grateful nod, sighing as the scolding liquid reaches his lips.

"You're marvellous, you know? I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I brought you some tea." You back-hand his compliment away, as you always did, gaze turning to try and decipher some of his scrawling writing. You always found it easier to fight away the blush rising to your cheeks by confusing yourself with his work, that method hadn't failed you yet.

"You're here on a Friday night, looking after some tired old sod, when I'm sure you had many potential plans to go to." His gaze travels up from your hip that you had propped against the desk to tidy some books, up past the curve of your waist, the swell of your chest, gaze lingering a little too long on the collarbone that peaked from beneath your blouse, before finally resting on your face. He stares again, sipping slowly from his cup, far too long for a boss to appreciate an employee, mapping the curve of your brows, the light downturn of your lips as you tried to read something on the desk, the way your hair cascaded around your features. He was tired, he usually controlled himself better. "I wish you'd take a weekend off some time."

Your gaze finally returns to him, satisfied with the state of his desk and you lean back, both hands gripping the desk ledge. "Hypocritical coming from you, don't you think? When did you last have a weekend off?"

"Hmm," He hums, finishing his drink and placing it onto his desk. He rolls his neck in an effort to rid of the crick that was increasingly bothering him. You notice, you frown. "If I am nothing else, call me a hypocrite. You should be out - I don't want to see you here tomorrow night, I want to see you on Sunday morning with a horrendous hangover and stories to tell me."

You laugh, the King of Hell instructing you to go and shirk off your responsibilities and get smashed? Only Lucifer would tell an employee that.

"We both know that won't happen." You grin, taking the opportunity to reach forward and push some of his blonde locks back from his forehead, attempting to push them back into their usual immaculate style. He swallows tightly as you do, having to fight himself from leaning into your touch. You were so gentle, and that fond smile remained etched onto your face as you did so, and God he wanted you to keep caressing his face until he fell asleep right then and there. "Come on now Luci, this place would fall apart without me."

"I can cope one day without you." He bluffs, leaning heavily onto his right armrest and closer to you, legs crossing as he fully relaxes - work didn't matter right now, you did.

"You're so sure?" You shift your stance, and he notices in his peripheral how your tight skirt lifted slightly, exposing more of your milky thigh.

"Not at all." His confidence in the statement has you laughing lightly, the King of Hell grinning up at you and admitting how royally screwed he would be without you. "In fact, I'd probably be dead the next time you walked into work. But wouldn't that be a fun story?"

"I would much rather you be alive." You slowly leave your position leant against the desk, deciding enough was enough as he winces again and rubs at a sore spot in his neck. "I do quite enjoy your company, you know."

Your hands suddenly fall against his shoulders, and he lurches in his seat, shrinking away from the cold pads of your fingers that pressed delicately against either of his shoulder blades.

"Uh-" His voice is uncharacteristically high pitched, and he has to clear his throat to stop it from breaking embarrassingly. "Y/N, what are you-" His fingers grip at his thighs as your fingers move, pressing firmly against his worn muscles. Oh heavens, that felt good.

"You've been rubbing your neck since I walked through the door." You explain, completely focussed on your task at hand and unaware of the red hue that was steadily growing on Lucifer's rosy cheeks. "You need to give yourself a break."

This was rather a bold move from yourself, but you were nothing if not opportunistic. That's how you landed this job in the first place. Your hands work steadily, finally reaching the centre of his back and gliding your thumbs up his spine, up the centre of his neck, and directly into the base of his skull. His head rocks forward lightly at the movement and he groans at the action. You continue to work at his neck, and he remains sat, eyes closed tightly, clawed hands nearly tearing through his own trousers, bruising his own thighs, feeling as though he were back in Heaven. He could feel how close you were, the heat of your body wafting across his neck and shoulders as you worked, and he had to concentrate immensely to control the sounds that wanted to escape his throat. He had nearly combusted on the spot when he had audibly groaned, but you hadn't commented on it, for which he was eternally grateful.

After several minutes, that both felt like an eternity of torture and mere seconds of bliss for Lucifer, you pull your hands back, finishing with one final carding of your fingers through the short tufts of hair at his nape. His eyes open blearily at the loss of contact, blinking heavily as he watches you gather the tray into your arms, adorning his empty cup, and a stack of paperwork.

"Y/N what are you- absolutely not, leave those here." He reaches for the papers now stacked on your tray, and you lift it higher out of his reach unless he stood. He realises his dilemma, firmly rooted into his seat unless he wanted to make an incredibly embarrassing and inappropriate reveal.

"It's only the menial stuff I do sometimes." You step away from the desk slowly, heels clicking as you go. "Besides, it's barely made a dent. I'll have them finished and with you tomorrow morning."

"You should be sleeping." He warns, leaning his elbows against his desk and watching you leave.

"No no." You mock, pausing with a hand on the handle to the door. "We should be up and having fun, making embarrassing stories to share tomorrow. I, for one, can't wait to hear about the hilarious tales of Lucifer and his mountains of paperwork. I'll make sure my story is juicy, these accounting papers are always full of gossip." You lie plainly, and Lucifer shakes his head with a grin.

"Thank you." He calls as you open the door. "I mean it."

"I always have you to thank for a wild Friday night." You grin, finally leaving through the door you had entered from with a bow of your head.

Lucifer sinks into his seat, sighing heavily as the room plunges into silence once again. He stares at the papers that still littered his desk - you had lied, you had taken a sizeable amount. Your presence had helped, and your fingers had fully relaxed the tight muscles in his back and neck, and he felt immensely better than he had mere minutes before. However, you had created an entirely new problem. He shifts at the uncomfortable tightness to his trousers, hands dragging through his hair as he thought, hard. There was no point sitting here if he wasn't able to focus. He raises from his seat, cursing his inability to man up and just tell you how he felt.

Bathroom first, and then he would focus on his paperwork.

---

A month later, Lucifer had been in charge of organising a fancy ball with some incredibly important guests - the 7 Sins of Hell and a smattering of other Royal households, as well as general persons of influence from all 7 rings. The event was to be held in the Pride ring, and as soon as it had been organised he had practically pleaded with you to attend. You hadn't been able to go to the previous events, being stuck in the Pride ring due to your human-soul. Lucifer had been ecstatic when he realised you could attend, and had nearly cried when you had agreed to go with him. Not as a date, no, definitely not, but as friends.

"We're late!" Your voice shouts as you hurry through the door to Lucifer's office, heels in one hand and your purse in the other. Your eyes land on Lucifer, who was stood fiddling with his tie in front of a mirror on the wall, forked tongue stuck out as he concentrated. "Luci, the driver's outside."

"I know, I know." He stresses, finishing off his tie and attempting to smooth down the lapels of his jacket, finally turning towards you as he arranged his cuff sleeves. "It's fine, he'll w-wait-" He stutters as his eyes finally land on you, pupils widening significantly as he forces out "for us."

You never really dolled yourself up that much, usually wearing typical office attire, and sometimes even wearing casual clothes if you were in the office particularly late. Tonight, you had gone full out - you pretended it was because of the nerves about being around such powerful figures in Hell, in reality, you wanted to impress Lucifer, you likely wouldn't get another opportunity to doll yourself up so much again, and you wanted to make the most of it. Even if nothing happened, you wanted to prove you could be just as beautiful as the Overlords and Royalty he frequented.

As you stand, hesitantly, reapplying your rouge lipstick with your small compact mirror and fluffing your hair, Lucifer stands star-struck, eyes glued to your figure. You wore an elegant black velvet dress that clasped around the back of your neck. The elegant midnight coloured dress hugged your torso tightly, and Lucifer's gaze hovered heavily. The fabric was tight and emphasised your curves, with the neckline dipping down sinfully low and exposing the rivulet between your breasts, a beautiful ruby jewel hanging from a silver chain right between the valley of your breasts, the dress cinched tightly at your waist and fell elegantly from your hips. He could see one of your smooth legs from a slit in the side of the dress. You close the mirror and pop it back into your silver purse, smiling brightly at the stunned man.

"My- Y/N you look stunning." Lucifer compliments, leaning back against his desk as he finishes clasping his cuff links. "A vision. Dare I say, I'll be having to fight away the suitors all evening."

You blush furiously, thankful for the makeup that covered your cheeks. He pauses, swallowing thickly as you bend down to begin fastening your shoes.

"Please stay away from Asmodeus."

You laugh as you continue to fiddle with your shoes, glancing up at him as you tie the clasp. "You flatterer. Should I expect to see you pulling these moves on all the girls there tonight?"

You jest, but Lucifer is so enraptured by you he cannot help but feel insulted you would even think he would entertain the notion of other women. He speaks quietly, watching you struggle to gain your balance as you try and put on the other heel. "Not at all."

He didn't know what compelled him to do it, maybe it was the way you wobbled as you tried to get into your second shoe, likely it was the fact he'd already had two glasses of wine to quell his nerves, but before he realises it he's kneeling in front of you and grasping your ankle in a feather-light grip.

You freeze as his hands replace your own, sliding your foot easily into your heel as your hand comes to rest on his shoulder to regain your balance. He works slowly, gently fixing the clasp of your elegant heel, head turning up towards you and smiling up at you. Your breath catches in your throat, Lucifers hands resting against your ankle and calf, disarming you with a charming smile and lidded eyes, and kneeling directly in front of you. His hand slides up your calf as he lets you go, standing back to his full height easily, now a little shorter than you with your heels properly on.

"T-Thank you." You breathe, fixing the slit of your dress that had become creased. Your own hands reach forward, straightening his tie and smoothing down his collar. "You look very handsome yourself."

He smiles, self-satisfied, as you fix his collar, and then immediately schools his expression to hide his awe-struck grin when he realises you were actually looking at him. "Thank you, thank you." He chirps, cane materialising in his left hand and twirling it, trying to distract himself from how close you were, and how absolutely beautiful you looked. "I think we'll make quite an entrance. Don't you?" He offers you his right arm, and you take it with a grateful nod as you both leave the office and head towards the taxi. "That is, if you manage to walk down all those stairs with those stilts under your feet."

"I'm excellent in heels." You defend, rather enjoying the way your arm brushes against his chest as you walk, the smell of his expensive cologne reaching your nose. "We'll have a problem if you start drinking, you can barely stand straight after a bottle of wine, and I certainly can't carry you home in these heels."

"Oh? You're insulting my drinking skills? What about the time I had to come and collect you from a party I wasn't even invited to, to teleport you home? I could barely understand you through the phone." He clears his throat, raising his voice high and slurring his words mockingly. "Luci- I-I'm not drunk, BUT-"

You whack his shoulder, remembering the night perfectly, and utterly mortified he had had to guide you home after you'd had a few too many. "Shut up, you're no better at holding your drink."

He laughs, and you feel the rumble of his chest against your forearm. "I suppose we'll have to wait and see."

---

It had been several months since the party, and Lucifer was growing increasingly frustrated at his inability to make any sort of move on you. Hell, he hadn't even kissed your hand, which was something he had had to do to more people than he could count. He was desperate to make his feelings known, and yet was utterly paralysed whenever the opportunity arose for him to express them. It didn't help that ever since his stunt with your heel, you had become more emboldened with your flirting attempts, but he always doubted whether your words and actions were actually meant flirtatiously, or if he was just romanticising all of your interactions in his own head.

The party had been... uneventful. True to his predictions, Lucifer had been having to whisk you away from attempted suitors all night, and at one point had grown so irate at a particular demon's attempts he had placed a hand at the small of your back and refused to remove it until the demon had thoroughly gotten the point and left the conversation. The event had only made him realise his feelings more for you, being positively furious that he couldn't just tell the other demon's you were his, and to piss off back to whatever Ring they had come from. The next passing months had been nothing short of torture as he grappled with whether to confess, or not.

Despite his wishes, things had carried on as normal, and it was absolutely maddening. He had even spoken to Charlie about his dilemma, but she hadn't been much help, just shrieking at him excitedly through the phone. He had been so desperate he had nearly asked Asmodeus for help, but he had quickly decided against that after remembering some of the stunts he had pulled in their younger years.

Now, he sat back at his desk at 2am, frowning after realising he didn't have all the documents he needed. His hat and jacket were once again discarded, and his sleeves pushed up to his elbows in his signature 'I am having a bad day' fashion.

"Y/N!" He calls, and your head pokes out from a filing cupboard you had been tasked with organising. He smiles at you, a hand running through his hair as he sits back. "Can you please find me the letter we got from Wrath about the expenses for that new armament shop? I think it was sent by a Mr. Pennine."

"Yep!" You chirp, disappearing back into the cupboard with the sounds of shuffling papers increasing. Lucifer scans the document in his hands, patiently awaiting the file.

He hears a thump, and a groan, and he straightens in his chair, trying to see what you were doing.

"I've found it." You emerge, rubbing the base of your spine with a wince. An airy laugh falls form his lips.

"What did you do?"

"It's on a high shelf that I can't reach - I fell trying to climb and get it."

Lucifer laughs properly this time, already beginning to stand from his seat and head towards you, shoulders shaking as he does.

"It's not funny."

"I think you'll find it's hilarious." He grins, walking past you and into the small storage cupboard. "Right, where is it?" He glances around the cupboard with an eyebrow raised. He hated this kind of menial work, and was frankly terrible at locating things within this jumbled mess. "I have no clue how this system works."

"Hmm, filing has never been your strong suit." You hum, appearing behind him, having to press close in the small space. A hand appears in his peripheral, motioning over his shoulder to a shelf even he would have to climb to reach. He sighs, releasing a breath as he places a foot against an unsteady shelving unit.

"Yes, another one of my many limitations. Thankfully you're so good at finding things for me." He grins over his shoulder at you, hauling himself up until he's at eye level with the correct shelf. You stand beneath him, arms outstretched tentatively, just in case.

"If I fall, I fully expect you to save me." He comments, brows furrowed as he sifts through the files, looking for a 'Mr Pennine' to catch his eye. When he does find it, he wafts the document about his head, calling down to your worried expression. "Seems I'm doing a better job than my own assistant."

You cock your head at him, taking a small step back as he readies to climb down. "Truly, don't even know why I'm here sometimes-"

You hear a worrying creak as his foot lands on the next shelf down, and his gaze locks with yours for a mere moment before the shelf breaks and he plummets to the ground. He lands on you with a yell, flattening you against the floor and opposite wall and sprawled across your lap in a heap. The whole cupboard shakes with the fall, and the door slams shut with surprising force, plunging the room into darkness.

Lucifer groans, pushing himself back up onto his knees, rubbing an elbow tenderly as he attempts to stand, back smacking into another shelf as he tries to back up. You groan as well, hunched against the wall and thoroughly winded, not entirely sure what had happened.

"Y/N! I'm so sorry, are you alright?!" Lucifer attempts to bend down to reach you, glowing eyes staring at you through the darkness, but his back smacks against another shelf. He stands there, half-hunched, useless as you try and push yourself to your feet, clinging onto a shelf to haul you upright. He can feel you moving against his legs, the cupboard really not meant to house two bodies, and when you finally stand your body presses far too close to his for comfort. He smacks the cupboard door harshly, hoping that the lock hadn't fully sealed from the outside, but the hinges remain firm. "Oh, fuck." He groans, leaning back against a shelf and staring down at you, one hand still pressed pathetically against the door. "Looks like we're trapped."

You, on the other hand, are unable to see anything except the glowing pair of amber and ruby eyes staring down at you, not possessing the enhanced vision Lucifer did. Your hands search the walls aimlessly, and you attempt to press yourself back into the opposite wall to try and create some space. Despite both of your best efforts, you can still feel the heat emanating from his body, barely inches of space between you. "Can you portal us out?" You question desperately, blinking furiously to try and see more of your surroundings.

"There isn't enough room."

You both plunge into silence, and you wring your hands together nervously. Who would find you? When was the next person scheduled to meet Lucifer? It was 2am, who else would be awake at this time? God, he was so close, you could feel his breath fanning across your forehead and hair. You rub at a saw spot near your temple, having smacked into a shelf during Lucifer's rapid decent.

A hand lands against the side of your face without warning, and you jerk at the unexpected contact in the darkness.

"Sorry!" Lucifer draws his hand back as quickly as he had placed it, returning it to his side and flexing his fingers. "I forget you can't see as well." His hand approaches much more slowly, fingers carding your hair away from your face. "I was just trying to check your head, you hit it pretty hard when I fell on you. When I said I expected you to save me, I didn't mean to sacrifice yourself as my landing pad."

"That's what I'm here for." You joke, missing the contact as he withdraws his hand, satisfied that the skin hadn't broken. "I'm fine, don't worry." You smile despite the darkness, knowing he could see.

"We'll be fine." He assures, though he wasn't sure if he was talking to you or himself, he laughs to himself, trying to dispel the anxiety in his chest. "Someone will find us soon."

You hum, doubting him very much. All you could do was wait.

God-knows how long you had spent in that closet, but it didn't take long before you were unbuttoning the first few buttons of your blouse and complaining about the heat. Lucifer hadn't been his normal chatty self, and instead leant heavily against the shelves behind him, hands gripping at the shelves that ran along either wall to prevent himself from reaching out towards you. You were so close, so warm and smelling so sweat pressed against him, all it would take was an inch of moment, barely a lift of a finger, and he'd be able to pull you close, to draw you towards his chest just like he had dreamed about for years now. It didn't help that you kept shifting your weight from foot to foot, feet aching from the amount of time you had just had to stand still, seemingly completely unaware of the way it made your hip rub against his pelvis.

He was a sweating, panicking mess, and he had twisted his torso uncomfortably, back hunched, to prevent the effects of your movements on him pressing against you. He could see your innocent expression through the darkness, the way your eyes searched blindly in the cramped space, and he wanted nothing more than to reach forward and press his lips against your neck, and not stop until someone found you the next morning.

But, he was a gentleman, and he had control, despite what his body was doing of its own accord, and so he gripped the shelving either side of your head and tried desperately to think about other things.

That was until you tried to lean against the shelf to your left, causing your thigh to rub the slowly growing bulge he had been desperately trying to hide. Lucifer's breath hitches in the darkness.

"Are you okay?" You ask, having picked up on his quickened breathing. You couldn't see him at all despite the amber eyes that flicked around the room incessantly, but you could feel his legs pressing against yours, and you could faintly feel the presence of an arm close to your head. When his amber irises land on you, you have a perfect view of the way they dilate, and you furrow your brows. "Is there something wrong?"

"God, would you stop moving." His voice was tight, straining in his throat as he tried his best to remain composed. He was fully aware you weren't even doing anything, but a love-sick pining man pressed so close up against his crush for so long? Who could blame a man for growing flustered.

You shift, attempting to lean towards him to see what was wrong, but two hands are suddenly on your hips and pushing you away from him and back into the shelf behind you, grip vice-like over the fabric of your trousers. You can feel his ragged breath against your forehead. "Heaven, please stop."

"What are you-" You go to argue, but the way his grip tightens against your hips has you halting. You stare for a moment, and it takes you far too long to put the pieces together in your mind: the dilated pupils, the shaky breaths, the way he pushes you away from his hips. Oh.

"Sir, it's okay-"

"Please stop talking." He practically begs, face a fiery red and really wishing for death right about now. "I'm sorry. It's inappropriate. You keep moving and you're so close. You don't have to work for me again after this, I'll understand-"

"Lucifer," You interrupt his rambling, hands coming to rest atop his own on your hips, sliding them up his forearms and resting atop the junction of his elbow. "you know you're the densest man I've ever met."

No response greets you for a moment.

"I said I'm sorry, you don't have to insult me too."

The hurt in his voice has your face twisting into a sympathetic smile. He really was oblivious.

"I'm insulting you, because there's an opportunity right in front of you, and you're not taking it."

You can hear the way his breathing deepens. "What do you-"

You lean forward, impossibly closer, chest pressing against his own. You can feel the way he gasps at the contact. He still has a hold of your hips, pining them away from him like a man burned.

"I'm going to die." He suddenly blurts, his breaths short and panting. His composure was slipping. "You're going to kill me if you keep doing that."

"I'd much prefer it if you didn't die." One of your hands slides up from his arm to his shoulder, burrowing into the fabric there. A high sound catches in Lucifer's throat, and you grin. "In fact, I'd prefer it if you kissed me like I've been inviting you to for the past few years."

His mind runs blank, nothing but the sound of his heart beat ricocheting between his ears. You wanted this? You wanted him?

"I don't think you understand." He stutters out, arms beginning to end their fight and allowing you to inch closer to him. "I don't want this, I want you. D-Dates-" He falters as your hand travels up his neck to the tufts of hair at the back of his head, gently scratching at his scalp. "and cheesy stuff, not just... filing cupboards."

He'd die if he got to have you only for a few hours, and then had to live the rest of his life returning to mere friendship. He would starve to death.

"It's about time you asked."

"You really want this?" He asks, voice small. His breathing was getting harder.

"Yes." You breathe. "I have for a long time."

That was all the indication he needed, and his lips crashed against yours as his hands enveloped your waist and dragged you flush against him. You gasped at the suddenness, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips atop yours in a delicate, passionate, kiss. One of his large hands remains at the small of your back, keeping you pressed against him as the other travelled up your spine, cradling the back of your head and holding you steady as he presses into you. He groans as your fingers tighten in his hair, both of your hands winding around his neck as you push up into him.

He pulls away for breath, his hot breath fanning your cheeks as he pants. You can see his eyes, half-lidded but impossibly bright, pupils the largest you had ever seen them, staring directly into your own. "Do you have any idea how crazy you've driven me over the past years?" He asks rhetorically, voice low and husky. You don't have a chance to answer before he's kissing you again, a hand gripping at your jaw and neck as he tilts his head, his brows furrowing as he pours all his concentration into the kiss. He kisses like a man starved, like a man who depended on your lungs for oxygen, like a man who would die if he separated for a moment too long. His forked tongue slides against your bottom lip and you open your mouth without question. He licks into your mouth with giddy enthusiasm, groaning into you as his tongue finally slips into your mouth, groaning louder as you submit, tugging at his hair and allowing him to push you back into the door with a thud.

His hand falls from your neck, resuming its place against your hip, thumbs pressing dangerously into your hip bones and pinning you against the wall. You gasp against him as his fingers inch their way beneath the bottom of your blouse, pressing harshly into your supple skin as he sucks the air from your lungs.

You feel dizzy when he pulls away again, and as you catch your haggard breath he ducks his head to graze his lips against your throat. He peppers kisses beneath your ear as a hand slides down to grasp the curve of your ass, the other continuing to pin your hips against the door as he presses his hips flush against your own, rolling his hips lightly. He delves down lower, tongue snaking its way down towards the junction between your neck and shoulder, his fangs nipping at your skin as he presses hot open-mouthed kisses against your pulse point.

"Oh-" You gasp, hands clinging onto his broad shoulders as he corrals you against the doorframe. You tilt your head up and to the side, exposing your neck to him as he hums happily. He finds the spot he wants and presses his teeth harshly against your skin, suckling hungrily and lapping at the bruising skin with his tongue. You groan, a hand gripping his hair as he rolls his hips up, biting into your shoulder as he moans. He grinds against you, continuing to lavish your throat with his eyes closed happily, moaning and groaning into your skin. His breath catches when you roll your hips down to meet his thrusts, and he whimpers when you tug at his hair painfully when he abuses one spot on your neck too much.

"Sir-" You gasp, and suddenly his lips are withdrawn from your neck, and his wide lidded eyes are staring directly into your own. Both of your breathing is ragged as you anticipate his next move, heart in your throat.

"How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?" His hips still against your own, and you whine trying to rub against him, but he pins you in place and rests his lips against your ear, whispering, begging, against your ear. "How many more times do I need to?"

You shudder at his hot breath, hands uselessly clinging to the collar of his ruffled shirt. "Just once more."

"Say," A kiss, pressed heavily against the underside of your jaw. "my" Another kiss, hot against the column of your throat. "name." Another, lavished between your collarbones right at the hollow of your throat. You gasp at the staggering sensation, his tongue wet and hot across your collarbone.

"Lucifer." You gasp, voice high and airy. He rewards you with a grin and a fierce kiss against your lips, pressing your head back into the doorframe. You moan his name again, and his hips rock up into yours involuntarily.

"It's unfair, the effect you have." Lucifer whispers, hands sliding up your sides and beginning to unbutton your blouse. He presses a kiss at the corner of your lips as you help him with the unbuttoning. "That massage you gave me?" You can feel his breath against your lips, and you have to fight not to lean forward into him as he gently pushes your blouse from your shoulders, warm hands sliding down your arms and the fabric bunching at your elbows, not quite falling all the way. "I had to take care of myself afterwards." He tuts against your lips, each purse of his lips pressing a ghost of a kiss to your own, but not quite giving what you wanted. A knee presses between your legs as he delves his tongue into your mouth, and you're too distracted to notice until he rolls his hips into your leg and pushes his thigh up against you. His claws dig at the tender flesh of your sides, leaving light scratches as he returns to your lips, grinning against you as you gasp and whine.

"You're not so innocent." You gasp as he leaves your bruising lips to return to his path down your neck, know able to reach your shoulders and chest, which he takes full advantage of. A hand grasps your thigh firmly and hikes your leg up and around his waist. "You constantly unbutton your shirts around me, stare at me with those eyes, leave your hand on me the entire ball and don't do anything about it. How could I resist?"

"Well, I'm doing something about it now." His voice was infuriatingly giddy, his hand grabs at your thigh through the fabric of your trousers, and he internally wishes you had chosen to wear one of your skirts today. His hips roll into yours at the new angle, and he stutters at the pleasure.

"The ball was not my fault." He presses a bruising kiss against your lips, biting down gently as he pulls away. Murmuring against your ear, you can feel the smile on his lips as he talks. "You have no idea what was going through my head that night. If I had my way, I wouldn't have gotten up from my knees for hours."

The way his silky voice hissed at the last word was downright sinful, and you're too distracted by your own thoughts to realise he had ducked his head back down to your chest.

"Luci." You gasp as he travels lower, peppering kisses down the valley of your breasts, murmuring against your skin, hands sliding lower and lower and tongue chasing them down to your naval. A finger pulls playfully at the front of your bra. Oh no, he couldn't win the upper hand that easily.

Gaining confidence, and determined not to let him be his usual cocksure self, you grasp him by the collar of his shirt. "Don't be unfair." You reprimand. He doesn't protest when you lower yourself to the floor, pulling him beneath you and straddling his hips. The cupboard was just big enough for him to lay down if he bent his knees, and you grin down at him as his hands grip your thighs tightly.

Your hands rest against his chest, and you can feel the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he stares up at you, his fingers flexing against your thighs when you refuse to move. He tries to roll his hips up into you, but you lift yourself just out of his reach.

"Don't do this." He whines, but you only grin down at him, leaning impossibly closer until your chest presses against his. You wish you could see the blush to his cheeks, the parting of his mouth around those little gaps, but instead you settle for staring into his blown pupils.

"Whatever do you mean?" You feign ignorance, shifting lightly and revelling in the way his eyes widened and his claws dug painfully into your skin. You press a kiss against his forehead, his cheek, the corner of his mouth.

A noise traps itself in his throat, you kiss against his jaw, his chin, the other corner of his mouth.

"Sweetheart," He moans, trying to tilt his head to catch your lips with his own. You roll your hips to distract him, and he hisses unhappily. He stares up at you with big puppy-dog eyes, a world away from the confidence he had felt at having his way with you earlier. "please."

"Good." You purr, and he whines when you finally kiss him properly, hips lowering onto him and palms sliding up his chest. You pull away and immediately begin kissing at the underside of his jaw, leaving your own trail of hickeys down the column of his throat. He squirms beneath you, breathing heavy and voice high-pitched as you kiss down his chest, pulling his collar to the side and grazing your teeth along the top of his peck.

One of his hands guide your hips against him, and he jerks his hips, the buckle of his belt biting cooly into the hot skin of your stomach. The other hand lies flat against your back, caressing your spine and sides and pulling you closer, trying to guide you back towards his lips.

He had thought he was in heaven before, but with you above him, he could barely contain himself.

Your hands pull at his hair, tugging at his scalp as you bite into the tense muscle of his shoulder. He closes his eyes painfully tight, muttering incoherently as his fingers flex against you. Your pace was beginning to quicken, and you moan against his shoulder as he whimpers and whines.

"Ngh- wait, stop." His voice breaks around the syllables. He grasps your hips tightly, knuckles white as his claws dig dangerously into the skin at your hips. "Not too fast."

"Another one of your many limitations?" You grin against his neck, feeling the way his chest heaved beneath your hands.

"Hmm," He hums, bleary eyed and uncomfortably hot, warm hand cupping your jaw and bringing your face up to meet his. "You have a way of exposing those."

You give in to what he wants, allowing him to slip his tongue back into your mouth, a hand cupping the back of your head and tangling into your hair, pulling you close and making sure you couldn't get away. You rest against him, revelling in the moment, losing your breath and humming against one another's lips.

Just as you go to move your hips, a hand planting itself against his chest to help your movement, light spills into the cupboard, and you freeze, lips detaching and staring wide-eyed at the shadowy figure stood in the cupboard doorway. You blink furiously, trying to readjust to the harsh light, but Lucifer is quicker to recover and pulls you flush against his chest, attempting to hide your bra from view.

He glares at the worker who remains standing dumbly with a hand on the door handle. Lucifer's hair was a mess, sticking out in every conceivable direction, his cheeks flushed a flaming red, shirt tugged halfway down his chest, with a smattering of lipstick across his lips and jaw, and blossoming bruises dancing across his neck and chest. You weren't in a much better state.

His eyes blaze red.

"Come back in an hour. Close the door."

The worker immediately slams the door shut, plunging the cupboard back into darkness.

Your shoulders begin to shake, laughter bubbling from your throat as you tuck your head into Lucifer's chest. He sighs, resting his head back against the floor and eyes returning to their normal complexion. When you finally compose yourself, you push yourself up with your elbows, grinning down at Lucifer with a cheeky smile.

"Maybe I was too harsh." He mutters, a hand coming up to cup your jaw. He grins cheekily, eyes shining in the darkness. "Where were we?"

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel Lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel x reader #smut #hazbin hotel x reader smut #Lucifer x reader smut #x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer #lucifer morningstar

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vivwritesfics · 1 month

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Best Dad Ever

Lando is the best girl dad. When his little girl wants to ride horses, he makes it happen

For @nurse-buckley for studying

Lando didn't have many regrets in life. He didn't regret karting from a young age, he didn't regret joining McLaren. He didn't regret getting married young or having a child either.

Actually, those last two were the best decisions of his life.

What he did regret was letting his four year old meet his sisters horses.

Lola fell in love. Lando hoped that she'd find Flo's huge horses terrifying and scary. But she loved them. She really really loved them. She giggled as the horse took the treat from her hand. Auntie flow had shown her exactly how to do it

She didn't get to ride Flo's horses. They were top show jumpers, Flo didn't want to put her niece at risk like that. Something Lando was incredibly grateful for.

But soon, Lando was strapping her into her car seat and driving her home. "Papa," she began as she looked out of the window, at the horses in the passing fields. "Can I start riding ponies?"

Lando should have seen it coming. It shouldn't have been a surprise that Lola had found love for those great big beasts in the same way his sister had. "Let me speak to your mother, yeah Lols?"

"Okay daddy."

Her mother didn't need a lot of convincing. "Hell yes she can go riding!" Y/N insisted. "I always wanted to as a girl but I never could," she said as she cuddled up to her husband.

"But, what if she realises she want to do karting like her father?" He pouted.

She held his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. "I promise, Lan. The next one we have you can introduce to karting."

Lando really liked the sound of that.

***

For Lolas first riding lesson, Lando was there, watching. He arranged it for a date he wasn't at a race and held his wife's hand as he watched. He was so incredibly nervous. Even if all Lola had to do was sit there, he was still terrified.

Soon she was riding every week. Lando desperately wanted to be at every lesson, but, before he knew it, he was at a race.

He wasn't there for the first time she trotted. "Please video it, baby," he said to his wife as they spoke on the phone.

She did just that, recording as she sat tall, the little pony beneath her trotting. Lando watched the video again and again, showing it to anybody that would watch.

He was there for her first lesson off the lead rope. He couldn't stop the smile on his face as she steered the small grey pony over the set of poles.

Lola kept up her riding lessons for a year. Lando attended as many as he could.

When that year of riding lessons was up,y Lando was on a mission to do something big.

It arrived at his location in the mid morning. As soon as it did, Lando put his phone to his ear. "Baby, bring Lola to the yard," he said.

Without questioning him, she got Lola into her riding boots, strapped her into the car and set off for the stables.

"Where's daddy?" Lola asked as they drove.

"He's gonna meet us there, sweety," Y/N said as she drove.

Lola frowned. "Why?"

"I don't know, Lol's."

As soon as Lola was out of the car, she was running towards her father. "What's going on, Daddy?" She asked.

Taking her hand, Lando walked Lola towards the barn. "I got you something, Lol's, " she said.

Lola gasped when Lando pointed to a stable. In that stable was a black pony, wearing a pink headcollar. "Lola, baby, I'd like you to meet Raven," said Lando. "He's your new pony."

Lola let out a little, quiet scream. "Really, daddy?! He's all mine?"

"He is, baby."

Lola through her arms around her father, squeezing him as tight as she could.

#lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris smut #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader smut #ln4 #ln4 imagine #ln4 x reader #f1 #formula one #f1 imagine #formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine

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akutasoda · 2 months

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hello!! 🐊anon here! I'm greatly excited to see the requests are finally open!! I've waited for this moment since december jiji, can I request bsd men (you can choose them but pls add ranpo and grandpa fukuzawa) with a child!fem! Reader (platonic obv) who's like Lucy from Elfen Lied? I've just re-watched the anime but I didn't remember it so bloody O_o" anyways, if you dont know about her, i quickly explain it to you, she is not human she is a diclonius, this race has vectors, which are invisible and intangible weapons and have the shape of arms with incredible physical strength, although they only reach 2 meters. Female diclonius have pink hair with 2 little horns on each side of their head, while males... They are bald and ugly lol 😭. That would be my 'quick' explanation, ofc you can ignore the blood here blood there part, but i'd like it more if you at least describe her as 'dangerous'.

At the end of the day, Reader is not a villain, just a misunderstood girl who has been through a lot, she just wants a hug and to cry in someone's arms :c. Ah i forgot, angst with some fluff if u want :3 you can ignore this if you consider it out of the rules!! Its fine for me i have more ideas to share!! Have a nuce day ill be waiting patiently, take your time and takd care of yourself!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

childhood misunderstandings

synopsis - maybe you really were just a misunderstood child

includes - ranpo, fukuzawa, sigma, oda - all platonic!

warnings - fem!child!reader, angst to comfort, fluff, mentions of blood and violence, wc - 1k

a/n: hii! sorry this took so long but hope you're having a nice day! take care of yourself aswell <3

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪while ranpo may be outgoing, he doesn't really use that to form many relationships with the people he talks to. however he may realise how much fukuzawa's care has affected him when he finds you.

↪he is by no means an idiot, and so he can immediately understand that you aren't as dangerous as everyone made you out to be. some people really just have to do what they can to survive and so for you that meant you perhaps had to hurt some people.

↪he had no issue with offering to take you in just like fukuzawa did for him - he knew fukuzawa also wouldn't have an issue. mainly because he also knew that not many would have the same confidence to turn a blind eye and understand your situation.

↪he always thought your pink hair reminded him of the kind of pink that was on sweet wrappers - he also thought your little ears on the side of your head were adorable.

↪your combative side to your ability mattered very little to him. sure it was pretty cool and very dangerous in close quarters but he never really cared about what other people's abilities were. most times.

↪ranpo can be rather expressing, more often with people closer to him and it's not really physical contact. but he could sympathise with your situation and understand that one simple comforting hug could open a floodgate.

↪and when he does give you the biggest hug you'd ever receive, you really couldn't help but feel a sense of home in his arms (his hugs are the perfect mix of a comforting weight that doesn't feel overbearing)

yukichi fukuzawa ★↷

↪fukuzawa was no stranger to finding troubled children and taking them under his care even if a few were literal criminals - some may say he had that fatherly instinct. so when he found you in a mess of blood he wouldn't think twice.

↪of course he couldn't completely ignore the fact that he did find you in a rather concerning display of blood that was most definitely not yours, as much as he would like to. however he could happily tell himself that people always had some reason for doing what they did.

↪he thought your appearance, because of you ability, was quite lovely. your pink hair rather sweet and the small little ears on the side of your head really made him melt.

↪because of the fact that his ability helped others, that eventually extended to you. in turn making your vectors that much more controllable and therefore stronger. he could agree that your ability's more combative side was dangerous but he wanted to refrain you from using it in such ways.

↪the first time he ever gave you a hug you cried immediately. he was the first person to realise how you weren't dangerous for villainous reasons - when you realised this you grew that much more attached to him.

↪ fukuzawa practically radiates a maternal instinct and he has no problem in helping troubled children. as a result he has no problem when they view him as the father figure they might so desperately need.

sigma ★↷

↪sigma has barely lived his life. he was created 3 years ago and ever since he's been serving duties for the oda and running the sky casino. therefore, he was left with very little time to do anything else.

↪he wasn't quite as desensitized as his colleagues and so when he found you, he panicked quite a bit. the last thing he'd expect to see would be the sight of a young child surrounded by blood from what he could only assume was someone else's.

↪ although, if there was one thing that he had in common with you would be the search for a home - he barely had a past and you had a past full of unfortunate experiences. you both just wanted somewhere to be safe and feel comfort.

↪your ability with your vectors did make him wary at first, mainly because he couldn't see them. but he thought your pink hair and little ears were beautiful and unique.

↪sigma isn't exactly the most forward with any kinds of physical expression. he has probably never received a hug in his life but he would try his hardest to give you that comfort he never had. a home for the both of you.

sakunosuke oda ★↷

↪it was certainly no secret that oda loved kids - more specifically loved taking after them. even after a long day's work there's nothing more he'd like to do than visit the orphans he regularly visits. but he'd never really adopted one of his own.

↪but that all changed when he met you. finding you in a mess of blood that vaguely reminded him of how he met a certain brunette, but this time it wasn't your own. he could immediately sympathise with your situation despite probably not being in a similar one.

↪he probably had the mafia to thank for his desensitisation to anything violent and so you being classed as 'dangerous' didn't mean anything to him. to him you were a child. a child in need of proper care.

↪your pink hair and small ears were loved by the orphans that he eventually introduced you to when he couldn't let you tag alongside him - he also thought they were quite adorable.

↪your ability was the reason you were seen as 'dangerous' but he didn't care. as long as you learnt to utilise the vectors and have complete control, he wouldn't mind - he would also gladly help you learn how to control them if need be.

↪oda would be quite happy to give you a very much needed hug. if you really needed somewhere to know that you were safe and that nothing bad would happen, his arms were the perfect place.

#🐊 anon↩#x reader #x fem reader #x female reader #x fem!reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x you #bsd x you #bsd x female reader #bsd ranpo #ranpo x reader #bsd fukuzawa #fukuzawa x reader #bsd sigma #sigma x reader #bsd odasaku #odasaku x reader #oda x reader

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tryingtimi · 2 months

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Books of 2024 (2023 or close to it)

Thank you for the tag @barbex it sounds like a fun one hehe. 9 books should be listed that were read in the last 12 months (or alternatively liked when you read it) if I'm right. And when I read the rules I had the same reaction: mind went blank on if I ever read a single book lol. Luckily I keep track of my reading because I like watching them back.

No pressure tagging: @aninkwellofnectar, @bloodlessheirbyjacques, @the-void-writes, @circa-specturgia, @aalinaaaaaa, @dyrewrites, @italiangothicwriteblr, @cherrybombfangirlwrites, @blind-the-winds and anyone who wants to join.

All of the listed were read last year and which I liked especially.

When The Stars Alight by Camilla Andrew (@aninkwellofnectar). Bi MC, gaslamp fantasy, gothic, court intrigue, delicious spice

You've already seen this many times on my page, because I really enjoyed this book and it was a window to many things I didn't know I'd enjoy in a story. So many beautiful description, beautifully emotional and sexy sex, rarely seen complex character dynamics and so much mouth watering food.

Éjféli Iskolák (Midnight Schools) by Attila Veres. lovecraftian horror set in Budapest

It's a horror short story collection by a hungarian author who I got recommended by a collegue. Attila Veres has a talent to capture that melancholic, sometimes surrelistic feeling living in Budapest which makes his work so authentic. But also very Big Ew for all the horroristic shit he created (in the best way.) My favourite one was the 'Porn After Midnight'.

Yumi and The Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanders. M/F romance focus, sci-fi/fantasy, anime-esque

You all know I'm a Sanderson trash. And the fact I, the slowest reader on the earth, read this book in two days, proved that very much lol. It felt like watching an anime, I swear to god. There's magic, time travel kinda thing, pretty innocent humour, loads of painting in it.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickenes. christmas nostalgia, historical fiction?

We all know this, but I'm very behind on classics book-wise so I began to catch up last year. Espceially because I love the animated movie so much. It was a lovely and educative read.

Y/N by Esther Yi. litfic, kpop fandom and industry satire basically, comteporary

It was one of my favourites from last year tbh, because I couldn't put down the damn e-reader. A very strange little read, 100% unhinged, but made me realise I might enjoy litfic, so I'll read more this year. Also, the story is not "summarizable" but the fact that this is the first two review on GoodReads tells a lot I think: reading this feels like that one night when i accidentally smoked weed for the first time I sort of feel like I just hallucinated this entire thing Yeah.

Even Though I Knew The End by C. L. Polk. F/F romance, fantasy, novella

Lesbian magical detective. Done, sold. I wanted to read this a while now, and it did not disappoint. It gave exactly what it promised. Fast paced little adventure with some humour and a lovely couple. Not a life-chaning read but as I mentioned, it gave what it promised. I enjoyed it anyway.

Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice. M/M romance kinda, supernatural, philosophical

Finally started to read the books my all time favourite movies are made of. Loved every bits of this, though sometimes it got way too wordy or I don't even know what. Overall though, it got me. Full of contemplation about human nature, God (though I could do a bit less without that) and death, plus the iconic vampire husbands and their arguments. It's just a real long broody monologue of Louis tbh. I'm fine with that it seems, though.

Legend & Lattes by Travis Baldree. F/F romance (not focus), cosy fantasy

Read pretty fast too. It's very much what it promises also. Cosy, and relaxing, and endearing. Love the concept of how a stoic warrior woman can settle finally and do something other than fighting. It was cute.

Tress of The Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson. M/F romance (not that important i think), cosy fantasy, Princess Bride-vibes

Yes, I got all the secret project, because of course I would. This one was also something like Legends & Lattes imo. In Sanderson style tho. I'm also loving when the narrator is a third person telling the story. Those are always fun. Oh and the story had many cuteness, humour and Our Flag Means Death kinda pirates.

#tag games #book recs #sandersons are my comfort reads what can i say #this year will be all about unhinged and dark and horror tho #fun times

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marengogo · 3 months

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6 : “Happy Singles Day! …” Mistakenly Thought Marengo

Listening to a Love Wins All x BTS love songs playlist

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello my dearest Gurls, Bois, Enbys and everyone in-between 💜 and

HAPPY SINGLES DAY!

… not.

Singles day is actually November 11, as in 11/11, as in 1 - 1 - 1 - 1, as in single, single, single and; SINGLE. LONG TIME AGO, a very young-uni-student-Marengo, somehow, mistakenly read today to be singles day, but in fact today is Singles Awareness Day 🤡LOL. So the joke is on me, but matter 👏🏾 does 👏🏾 not 👏🏾! Marengo shall privately keep celebrating Singles Day on the 15th of February because every time she had, she did on today’s date. Granted, I hadn’t had to celebrate it for a long-long minute, but … here I am in 2024.

Granted I’m a bit rusty but, what I always used to do, without fail was:

Buy Salted Caramel & Rose macarons from Pierre Marcolini

Buy a very expensive bottle of red wine

Watch Magic Mike XXL

Haven’t got around watching Magic Mike XXL yet as I’m here writing to you all duh, but here is a picture of the first 2 points.

The bottle didn't come with that neck piece, I put that there because you could see me in the reflection; don't mess with my camera game! 😎

So before anybody starts, I’m not celebrating today because I’m bitter at people who are in love or a couple. I might have been, A LONG TIME AGO, when I started celebrating this day, but as I grew up, it became more of a luxurious and pampering habit, particularly once I realised, and gradually understood, just how beautiful love actually is. And then, when it became my time to experience it 🎊🎉🪄, yeah … LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING. In fact, I actually love LOVE. I love watching people fall in love, I love just the feeling of love itself, you could even say that I love the thought of a love potential, just as much as I love the potential of a love thought … 😜.

But just like a beautiful rose, love can hurt, no matter how careful, unexpected/unseen thorns can still get you. Yet, you shouldn't hate the rose, right? “I gotta be more careful …” that should be the brains immediate reaction, but sometimes, the amygdala works real hard, with unpaid overtime, keeping us away from roses until we figure out how to better tackle them, and some other times, it just makes us give up on roses entirely, which is a shame but it is what it is sometimes, because roses are really so so so precious, no matter what your favourite flower might happen to be. My favourite flowers are Forget-me-nots, but I will never deny the charm of a rose and I’ve learned to not hate them through time, even when, or even though, I might be deadass afraid of them.

Falling in love is like deciding to take care of your own personal rose/s. You will naturally like many different flowers and will naturally nurture them, rightfully so. Yet, at the same time, there might come a time when you’ll desire to also cherish in having a rose. Some might want roses to boast at their beauty, some simply like a challenge, but all in all, for many, if they could only manage to take care of even just one singular rose, for as long as they possibly can, without it dying; they’d consider it a great achievement and I'd agree. Roses don’t smell like boo-boo, but without LEC (Love, Effort and Care) they are indeed hard to keep, and will quickly perish.

… So what does this have to do with Singles / Singles Awareness Day?! Bitch you are making me feel much worse than before! Like STFU FR. There is a reason why I watch Magic Mike XXL. I really don’t give two shits about the first magic Mike, like I don’t even remember it. Yet XXL ⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️ Has as a main plot the main character not ending with whom he thought was the love of his life, right from the start, and instead discovering the value of having a solid community and believing in one’s self ⚠️ END OF SPOILER ⚠️ helps me remind myself that if I am unable to find a rose to take care of, or if I am not ready to do so either, I should remember that I myself am a rose and I should treat myself as such; with love, effort and care.

So today isn't a day where I hate those who have found and are bravely keeping love. No. Today is a day where I think of what could be, mourn what could have been and remember that the me of now also deserves love in the form of macrons, expensive wine and a feel good movie. So if you are single, have been for a while, or always have been, try not to obsess over having that garden of roses. Take care of your flowers first, make sure they are healthy! I’ve neglected “my forget-me-nots” for a bit too long now, so I have some cathcin gup to do, and don’t forget you are a rose yourself; take good care of yourself, be kind to yourself; love yourself.

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo

@ejassy @chikooritajjk @stormblessed95 Thank you so much and I love you, my unique flowers.

#I'LL ALWAYS LOVE LOVE #Marengo World #Singles Awareness Day

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sky-kenobye · 16 hours

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⛵️ Five Fandoms, Five Ships ⛵

Get to know the blogger, via five different ships from five different fandoms!

Thanks for the tag @underacalicosky !!

Putting it under the cut because this is LONG, sorry.

I love them your honor. Doesn't even have to be romantic, I just want to see them being obsessed about each other. I'm also a pretty big obianidala fan, hence why I added her too. (I'm a multishipper really. I have my otp but there's a lot of ships that I enjoy)

1. Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker(/Padmé Amidala) (Star Wars)

When I first watched star wars (not that long ago, I only watched it because I wanted to see the sequels in theater lmao) I wasn't a big fan of the prequels so I mostly ignored them, but then a couple years ago I randomly rewatched them in the middle of the night and suddenly I was obsessed. I'm not even sure how I ended up on AO3 (did I go look for obikin? Did I stumble on it? Idk) but eventually I started reading Pining in Preschool, then realised that @palfriendpatine66 was on tumblr, I started interacting with more people around here, and now I'm (slowly) writing fics, and I'm having the time of my life here, so thanks Pal!

I don't think any if my past fandom brainrots reached my current level so I'm pretty sure I'm here for the long haul (at least it's not stopping anytime soon).

It's not super obvious here but I'm actually a huge Marvel fan (well, the MCU, I've never read a comic), and especially Captain America. Stucky is just, 🤌 so tasty (a lot of similarities with obikin actually imo). I'd like to talk to whoever thought "I'm with you 'til the end of the line" was a straight sentence to repeatedly say to your bro throughout an entire century though. Like?? I'm all for relationships that defy the boundaries of platonic and romantic, but still, that's kinda gay.

2. Steve Rogers/James "Bucky" Barnes(/Peggy Carter) (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

The first MCU movie I saw was actually captain america 2 (and not the first one lol) in theater, and I was instantly hooked, though since Endgame I've been less into it, since my fav is gone (and I have to agree with tumblr on that one: they're making too many movies and shows, I can't keep up 😩)

(And I'm still super salty about what they did to steve in canon, they should have killed him off instead of whatever the fuck that was, honestly)

I also added Peggy because she's great, and polyamory is so much better than love triangles or shipping wars. (I'm not polyamorous but I believe in their beliefs. I think it's because of the aromanticism)

Same as with obikin (and stucky too tbh) I don't really care how they love each other, I just care that they do. They're the most important person to each other, be it romantic, platonic, familial, idc.

3. John Watson/Sherlock Holmes (mostly BBC Sherlock, but from the RDJ movies and the books too)

I've obsessed over (non-existent) clues during the last season, and deluded myself into thinking they'd become canon, alas, it didn't happen.

I've translated a couple of fics in french for that ship, but I've never written for it (I thought about it tho), and I've read a lot. That's the fandom where I've read some of the best queerplatonic fics, and that's my favorite interpretation of the ship, especially sherlock being some flavor of aroace.

4. Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

I love them as a queerplatonic relationship, and I genuinely think that's what they are in canon, the haters can suck it, that's not queerbaiting even if they dont become a canon couple.

Okay, I'm starting to see a patern here. Am I really that predictable? You can just copy-past what I said above.

(I'm fully on board with them being a couple though)

Hey, a straight ship! With a woman not added as a second thought!

5. Elizabeth Bennet/Mr Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

Not quite the same vibe as the others, but I've read sooo many fics and books (straight up published fics lol), I've watched a bunch of different adaptations (even the one with zombies)... The worst part is that I think I've only read the og book once, oops.

I actually inherited that fandom from the women in my family lmao. My mom, sister and sister-in-law are all obsessed with it, so I read it to see what all the fuss was about and, yeah, I get it.

And that's it! There are other fandoms I'm into, and other ships in those fandoms, but that's pretty much it (the main one that's missing is Dinluke, the others are mostly smaller ones).

I'm not super actively in those fandoms (apart from Star Wars obviously) but i come back to them now and then. Usually I re-watch it then binge-read a bunch of fics (while my main fandom stays in the main spot in my brain) then I let it go again until it comes back (while obikin still stays in the main spot).

Also Harry Potter used to be my main obsession but JKR kinda ruined that for me so I'm not really into it anymore (hence why I didn't list it even though I have written fics for it).

Anyway that was way too long, if you've read all of this then props to you!

I'm tagging: @cottonraincoat @fem-anakin-skywalker @kingdomvel @ineffable-snowman @arobiwan (and whoever else wants to do it because I'm nosy and I want to know stuff about people)

#okay i spent way to long on that #good night everybody

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rickie-the-storyteller · 7 months

Text

Meet the Writer Tag!

(Thank you so much to @mysticstarlightduck for tagging me! Sorry I took so long lol)

This is me!

(I don't normally wear this many accessories/jewellery lol. But I wish I did! I love it sm)

Three Fun Facts About Me:

I have never been in a relationship before. Ever. The only experience I have in that department is through other people's stories, not really my own. And by that, I mean that I'm used to watching my friends/people around me getting in and out of relationships, and listening to songs about romance and love and heartbreak... but not really relating to them due to not having any of those experiences myself (but it's alright, tho. It'll happen when it happens! In the meantime, I always have my made-up ships from my writing lol).

My favourite book growing up was "Matilda" by Roald Dahl. I thought Matilda was such a cool girl growing up lol. And lowkey relatable in a lot of ways. No, I wasn't a child genius. But she kind of fits into the archetype that I always found comfort in due to being that kind of person myself. Smart/intellectually curious, bookworm, introverted/independent, genuinely kind and has a heart in spite of being seen as cold by others (another example of this is Huey from Boondocks. Been rewatching some episodes of that show recently and wow... forgot how crazy it was lol. It's good, tho).

Christmas is my favourite holiday! 🎅❄️🎄I do get why some people may dislike it, I guess (like, my younger sister isn't a fan, and she's explained why... I get it. The over-commercialisation of it takes a lot of the "specialness" out of it, you know? Distracts from the actual meaning behind it and all. Plus, it can suck if you're just feeling sad and lonely during a time of celebration for everyone else. Aside from that, technically Easter is more significant if you look at it from the lens of which Christian holiday is most important). But I love the joyfulness and festiveness. Makes me feel all jolly and cosy inside. Plus, I love singing Christmas carols. And presents. And Christmas movies. I just love Christmas lol.

Favorite season:

Autumn. Or fall, as some others prefer to call it. That's when my birthday is!!

(Second place is summer because that's holiday season. Plus, that's when my sister's birthday is.)

Continent where I live:

I live in the UK, so Europe.

How I spend my (free) time:

Writing (duh)

Writeblr stuff (tag games, making OC playlists, answering questions, communicating with followers and having discussions with them about writing, etc)

YouTube (mainly watching videos... but I do want to start making videos myself at some point. Stay tuned for that, I guess)

Studying/school assignments (I'm in university)

Listening to music

Singing

Watching movies/TV shows

Reading

Eating lol

Are you published?

No. It'd be cool to be, though. Pretty sure I've mentioned this at least once before, but I want to self-publish the Stephanie Smith saga once I'm done with it.

Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert. 100% introvert lol. I feel most comfortable within myself when I'm by myself. As a kid, I was so painfully shy that the thought of going up to someone and asking a simple question would terrify me lol. As I got older, though, I was super duper lonely, and I realised that I had no real friends because I was keeping myself all closed off in a tight shell, so I'd literally force myself to open up and become more social and make friends with other kids. I practised it, like how you do with any skill. Now it's not so bad. I'd say I can carry a conversation with someone fairly well, even if I don't know them so well.

Favorite meal:

Ooooh.... this is hard. I love most foods lol.

I think I'll go with something a little bit more traditional. I'm Kenyan, and one of my favourite meals that I've grown up eating is chapatti and stew (any kind of stew, or soup. But my mum would usually make this stew with kidney beans. That was a big hit growing up). Haven't had it in almost a year, tho.

Aside from that, I love pizza. And Nandos.

Tagging: @clairelsonao3, @exquisitecrow, @mister-writes, @winterandwords, @mjparkerwriting, @e-everlasting-g, @erieautumnskies, @annethewittywriter, @writingwithfolklore, @ashwithapen

#writeblr #writers #not writing #tag games!#meet the writer

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not-poignant · 5 months

Note

I hope you have a lovely day with lots of snacks

Tl;dr the day was not lovely but there might be snacks

I actually didn't have many snacks today but I'm about to make up with it with a couple of churros and dark chocolate dipped strawberries.

Today I...woke up and showered and replied to comments on AO3 for a while, and then I spent about 4 hours formatting documents into PDFs of varying sizes for Patreon and Ream and uploading chapter commentaries into compilations. And then I did more formatting stuff behind the scenes while I stared at all the other behind the scenes stuff I need to do and thought 'writing is a hard job' quietly and intensely.

I ate lunch while I was working. I also made some memes about how overwhelmed I felt, and then made some for my readers too, lol.

And then I laid down for about 4 hours because I also have chronic illness (whee) and I am constantly in pain and varying degrees of fatigue and I literally must lie down every afternoon so I don't collapse in the evening (literally) - and I did a tiny bit of reading (webtoon: Shutline (which I immediately realised I'd read before and didn't fondly remember), webtoon: December (didn't mind this)) and then dozed restlessly because it was 40C/104F today. I also edited a Tiktok art video in Adobe Premier Rush, but I haven't put it up yet, and I should really do that.

Got up and made ham and cucumber sandwiches for dinner, and watched Girl with the Dogs on YouTube while I ate, and a Smosh video.

Then did some more work and helped a friend with her work stuff, and then I watered the garden for 1.5 hours because *points tiredly to the heatwave* and stared balefully at the dark sky (you can't water during the day - it's literally a heatwave but also it's illegal here to water during the day) with its few stars because they'd set up a severe weather warning due to extreme winds in our specific area and it was dead AF and oppressive out there and it was just hot instead.

I watched a few Tiktoks while I watered.

When I hung the hose up back on the holder thingo, I sang to my plants: 'I hope you make the best out of the water I just gave you, you little fucks' like a sweet lullaby, and a person who I didn't know was outside next door because it was like 9pm and pitch black laughed softly and sweetly, like they didn't expect it, and felt kind of fond. I didn't know I had any nice neighbours on that side of the house, so I mostly just thought 'WHOOPS SHIT' and then felt too embarrassed to say anything.

And then I came back inside and replied to some asks (hi!) and am hopefully going to eat churro's soon and it's 10pm and so I'm probably going to do some more work and then I'm going to go to bed while I feel stressed about the work I haven't done (currently Palmarosa is the heart beating beneath my floorboards). I will probably keep reading December. It's okayish.

I don't know if I'd call today lovely, because I'm burnt out and I want to put up the Christmas decorations but it's 10pm and idk if I should start that because it tends to make me severely ill to do it for a few days.

I'm a little sad, a lot lonely, a little melancholic, a little grumpy, and a little very excited about churros and chocolate dipped strawberries. I resent days that are 'work and sleep' sometimes, especially during November. That's my fault. That's on me. I'm a mean and shitty boss to myself.

Gotta do something about this burnout at some point, because December is the worst month for my PTSD, but I also need to keep getting paid, because medical bills and food and stuff. So like...finding the balance there is a constant work in progress.

There were some lovely moments today:

That little laugh from the neighbour in the dark

The first yellow peach of the season

Doing tricks with my cat (who is trained) for treats

Making silly little memes

Helping a friend with work stuff

Replying to some amazing comments

Watching cute dogs

Feeling pretty accomplished at putting up those compilations on Patreon/Ream even if I'm not done yet.

I hope you're having a lovely day too, anon, with many snacks.

#asks and answers #personal #i have not had a lovely day in a while #a member of my family died suddenly this week #suddenly and unexpectedly #and within 12 hours #two other members of my family directly impacted by this death #had to evacuate due to the fires #and idk if they can go home yet #i don't think they can but the fire has at least been downgraded #i am burnt out and sad #yesterday between working on writing stuff #i photoshopped photos of my uncle for my mum #for the funeral home #to make them nicer alkfjsa so that she doesn't have to pay someone to do this #i might delete this later y'all this might be a little too real #but sometimes it doesn't hurt maybe for people to know i'm human #hell sometimes it doesn't hurt for *me* to remember i'm human dslkfjasd

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esther-dot · 7 months

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I'm the 2011/2013 Tumblr anon, and this is kind of embarrassing to admit but I'm also the original Dune anon, if that gives you any idea of my fandom background. (*/ω＼*) I've been in fandom since I was probably eleven or twelve, so fandom is basically home to me lol. I was always more of a sci-fi fan than a fantasy fan growing up, and so it wasn't until GOT I heard of the books; I'd never been a fan of the show, and I was impartial at best to the books. (At school, I knew classmates were reading them--- but for full context, I was a nerd disliked by other nerds for being too weird, so I wanted nothing to do with Tolkien/GRRM lol). I still have a bone to pick with GRRM (and this is partly what limits my participation) and in the case of my regular fandom, I'm very much used to isolation lol. (It's alt-right trolls who have a problem with me... sigh. Imagine a ship like Jonsa which redeems the books' thematic ideas and that's my situation).

I actually was familiar with the Sansa/Sandor ship long before I was interested in either media, because of the shipping circles I run in. Going from that lack of context to the context revealed in the actual books was very weird, because they seem like extremely disparate concepts. If you take Sansa/Sandor scenes and rearrange things, including the numbers in Sansa's age, it does feel like a powerfully violent BatB rendering with a dash of medieval pseudorealism; he's no prince and the romance is impossible, but perhaps he could be her knight or guardian in an unconsummated chaste romance or secret affair etc. It made me really rethink some of the ships I was interested in, and why, and where my tastes diverged from people I usually trusted. I am much less interested in ship archetypes by themselves than how those are enshrined in the narrative/themes at stake. It's also just interesting to me that Jonsa is an arguably truer, redeeming rendering of BatB, or a revisitation of that theme--- which GRRM is interested in, Sansa/Sandor fans are correct about that, but I think it's foreshadowing a future arc for her. Surely all the BatB exploration is being set up for something big?

So how did I find Jonsa.... well, it was a consequence of reading the books lol, though I imagine many people would say the show was illuminating (which is no condemnation that antis think it is). My interest in the books was primarily piqued through the show's ending--- I came to things rather late, but I'm thankful for that, considering that it seems like some of the best fandom discourse has taken place since then. I was mostly interested in it for the purposes of comparison of adaptation, which I find very interesting, and because I find predicting endgames in general very fun albeit painful. I watch a lot of things just to see what my instinctual feeling is because I like practising my narrative divination. I like engaging with storytelling! But I do have a mechanical fascination with it as well. I think this motivated my sending an ask about Dune to both you and transdimensional-void, mostly because the thing that often leads me in the right direction is getting a 'feeling' for the tone of something--- sometimes even beyond pure narrative reasoning. Lol

You'd ordinarily think the show would be offputting to a Jonsa theory (and this is a major spanner in the works, although I do kind of only semi-ironically believe they paired Jon with D/aenerys because E/milia Clarke is shorter than Kit H/arrington, where S/ophie is too tall, which they couldn't have predicted before being informed about a potential Jonsa resolution--- when in doubt, assume stupidity) but Jonsa is also deliciously ironic and tragic even if redeemed through an actual marriage (and we have so many weddings, over and over, that a symbolic redemption of Rhaegar/Lyanna's wound is basically being begged for--- Lyanna is realised in many ways in the story, through both Arya and Sansa... but it makes sense they'd redeem two sides to Lyanna, the wild wolfgirl and the girl married to a dragon. The wound inflicted through Rhaegar's absconding with Lyanna has to be redeemed, whether that is positively or shirking the possibility of a Lyanna/Rhaegar union altogether, so the door is open for tragic Jonsa in my eyes. These types of narrative questions are what I look out for when predicting narrative resolutions and is what led to me to seriously consider Jonsa). I was meditating on this recently because people were asking whether Cat and Ned would approve, and the marriage is only possible because they're dead. A Jon/Sansa arrangement is only possible because they have lost the people they loved most, and perhaps--- like I've seen suggested!--- it might even drive Arya away. As a writer, that, to me, is how you make Ned and Catelyn's deaths in the story echo in a bittersweet way. It's good storytelling. It goes beyond 'and we re-enact the lessons of parents' which is the normal way you'd realise parental remembrance and legacy. And something tells me GRRM isn't interested in predictability. Unless you've read Gothic literature.

So, beyond Jonsa I'm very interested in the reasoning underpinning the show's derivations, and in my case I'm much more interested in Jonsa in the books than the show (that wasn't really what did it), though in the case of the show, I'm interested in where you can potentially see reflections of a book dynamic. But so much of the adaptation is muddied that it's hard to parse, and I'm really not sure how much of GRRM's suggestions they truly had versus what they stuck to. If they knew they needed 'a Jon romance', in the same way as they needed Robb to break his wedding pact with the Freys, but supplemented Talisa, what was motivating their decisionmaking? D/aenerys was the selling star of the show and basically the face of it, and the face of the merchandise and the cultural conversation etc. (which is why they made her death punishing--- the storytelling is so spiteful, and normally I'm a villain apologist through and through, but this case was particularly egregious) and it would seem silly not to give her a romance, because how can you write important female characters without romance? Now, I'm a perennial romance apologist, but the thinking here, to me, seems rather suspicious. So, I think what's special about ASOIAF right now is we've got a theoretical ending through the show, but where does that translate to the books? And where does the fandom get it wrong, and where do they get it right? The historic ubiquity of Sansa/Sandor, and many other fandom trends (e.g. D/aenerys is the rightful ruler, or tragic heroine, and so on) is kind of like honey to me, because all of those theories were completely blown out of the water by the show, but critically--- critically--- there's still room for expansion in the book for other directions. I was put off by simplistic interpretations of the books that floated around and when I read them the fandom characterisation, crossplatform, was actually shocking to me.

Since you asked--- and I'm terribly sorry--- I have a lot of feelings about when TWOW may or may not come out, not just because of anticipation, but because GRRM's authorial struggle is hard to watch through the eyes of fandom. The condemnation of his procrastination, his apparent carelessness--- that he 'took the money and ran'--- the hopelessness--- it's very hard to watch, and what I wonder is how he feels as a writer. Releasing TWOW will lead him into the final endgame, and he'll have to say goodbye to his magnum opus. That is very hard, beyond the show sailing ahead, and beyond anything else. It also gets to me in a personal way (which no one else can help!) because I am a writer trying to finish a long work, and I'm literally at the equivalent point GRRM is, and--- although he's a celebrated published author, and I'm writing for the sole joy of it--- I think that there is probably something fundamentally similar there, which is that holy fuck it's hard. It doesn't matter how much you know what you need to do, doing it is hard, and writing itself is actually an extremely difficult task. And by writing that means formulating ideas, as well as actual finger to DOS machine.

Writing sometimes is kind of like trying to paint a person, except you've never seen a human being before.

But I think that if GRRM is really committed to his bittersweet romanticism, he can pull off a goodbye, lol. And as much as I quibble with his narrative ethos and sometimes he makes me tear my hair out, I want to see him complete his work, because I think every single author deserves that. And because I think that at a minimum, for something like ASOIAF, the legacy of its ending ought to be his final say. I can't speak to his actual psyche but I do fully believe if he can publish TWOW, he can do ADOS. My observation is that TWOW is structurally much more difficult than ADOS, and I think that's one of many reasons he's been dragging his heels, long before the show caught up. Once he gets to the victory lap of ADOS, he will probably have both a professionally and emotionally easier time in terms of having to finish it. TWOW merges the split threads of AFFC and ADWD, whereas ADOS will only have to follow through (touch wood) on the one book, where many perspectives and their storylines will have converged--- at some point, we may have Sansa, Jon, and Brienne all unified! Which resolves character goals as well as being more economic with POV distribution. This is the angle I find very interesting because I think the way he uses character chapters to establish context and meaning beyond pure character is actually genius and rarely done so well in genre fiction, and I'm completely envious of it. (This is also why Jon/Sansa makes so much sense).

This is a terribly long ask so please don't feel the need to respond line by line, lol. I think I got a little excited! Having a positive fandom interaction is so nice. It's really weird that fandom has become such a polarised place (I mean, we had ship wars, but people kept to themselves more), and you're lucky Jonsa is your first fandom--- well, outside of the anti-Jonsas--- because I think it's a lovely place.

This goes for any Jonsa reading it: thank you all for literally keeping me sane. 🥰🥰🥰🥰 If I may ask, Esther, I think you've said that you came to Jonsa through the show then the books--- what drew you to Tumblr fandom? I'm always interested in how people find fandom!

Dune, anon! I'll tag @transdimensional-void because your convo about it did make me finally watch Dune (although I still don't think I'll read the book, sorry!), but the film was gorgeous. I didn't realize the director was Villeneuve. He always has very interesting projects and arresting visuals. Arrival was such a surprising take on an alien movie and it has really stayed with me. I think he has exquisite pacing, too.

Well now I’m even more concerned about the attempted doxing! Horrifying. The internet can be a wonderful thing, but I swear, it brings out the absolute worst in people.

I totally get what you mean about S*nsan seemingly being a BatB thing, but I’ve suggested before that it’s more in line with one of the old monster movies or even King Kong which love to pair something terrifying with a beautiful woman or little girl. It doesn’t mean romance, it’s the juxtaposition of extremes, raw power being stopped by beauty, violence being calmed by gentleness. There’s that line at the end of King Kong, “It was beauty killed the beast.” IMO, the beast and beauty idea is certainly there for the Hound and Sansa, I just don't think it's Disney's Beauty and the Beast. It's a highly romanticized idea, but not a romance in the way we use the term now.

My parents are both huge readers, not really into novels. My dad liked The Hobbit and LOTR tho, and got really into doing dramatic readings of those at bedtime for us kids. I remember The Hobbit the best because he’d make up tunes for all the songs and sing them. They’re very nostalgic for me, that love extends to the LOTR movies, but made it impossible for me to sit through the Hobbit adaptation. Anyway, I read a few sci fi and fantasy books, but I never really got into it. My little sister on the other hand luuuuurrrvs fantasy and she was the one who got me to watch GoT (I’d heard of the books, hadn’t read them) together, but then we ended up living in different states and she decided that it should be our thing to avoid spoilers and only watch the show when we got together. So, we were always running behind from that point on, but we made it through s5 that way. Eventually we just didn’t have the time to do that, and she was so disgusted with s5 she was happy to drop it completely--never watched another episode. I was too invested to stop, so I watched s6-7 myself and was simply appalled by the characterization of Jon. It made me get online for GoT content for the first time. This was in 2018. I saw that Martin gave interviews saying the show’s ending would be his ending, so I a) sped read the books, b) started listening to some of his interviews, c) saw the term “Jonsa” for the first time in the comments of one.

It took nothing to get me onboard because Jon and Sansa were my favorites, I really loved their scenes together, I hated everything after they separated in s7, and I read a lot of 19th century lit as a teenager, so cousin marriage didn't even strike me as weird in the historical context. I can't remember which meta it was I read first, one of Fedon's or blindestspot's prediction of a Jonsa reunion and marriage from 2013, but I got on tumblr and was totally sucked into the fandom.

“I do kind of only semi-ironically believe they paired Jon with D/aenerys because E/milia Clarke is shorter than Kit H/arrington, where S/ophie is too tall” — I’m screaming. D&D @ Kit: "Sorry buddy, if you didn’t want your character to fall in love with a mass murdering tyrant you should have kept growing." lmaooooo.

“Jonsa is also deliciously ironic and tragic even if redeemed through an actual marriage (and we have so many weddings, over and over, that a symbolic redemption of Rhaegar/Lyanna's wound is basically being begged for--- Lyanna is realised in many ways in the story, through both Arya and Sansa... but it makes sense they'd redeem two sides to Lyanna, the wild wolfgirl and the girl married to a dragon. The wound inflicted through Rhaegar's absconding with Lyanna has to be redeemed, whether that is positively or shirking the possibility of a Lyanna/Rhaegar union altogether, so the door is open for tragic Jonsa in my eyes.” --You put this so beautifully. I wish you'd get a side blog and post that in the Jonsa tag, I love it!

One of the major puzzles to me is how the fandom all know just how much the text talks to itself, it's notably self-referential, so the way they dismiss the idea of Rhaegar's son and a Stark girl romance...I have a really hard time believing they don't see the logic there, how it would bring things full circle. The way they treat S*nsan as "practically canon" while calling Jonsa a crack ship when we have that hanging over our heads is a little incomprehensible.

“I was meditating on this recently because people were asking whether Cat and Ned would approve, and the marriage is only possible because they're dead. A Jon/Sansa arrangement is only possible because they have lost the people they loved most, and perhaps--- like I've seen suggested!--- it might even drive Arya away.” --I agree with this too. I am very struck by how NedCat, some of the best people and one of the best relationships Martin offers, has this pain and tragedy written into their love. That's a big reason why I can't quite get on board with an easy resolution to Jonsa, because Martin is just drawn to conflict which is why his characters and story is so compelling, but also makes me think, there will be layers to Jonsa, some real pain there.

“And something tells me GRRM isn't interested in predictability. Unless you've read Gothic literature.” — I once posted a list of gothic lit tropes and he’s included all of them. But Gothic heavily influenced horror, and ASOIAF has horror elements, so that isn't totally surprising when you think about it. It still amuses me though!

It’s definitely a real struggle to see the sense behind D&D’s choices but when I was reading an interview looking for a specific quote, I did see that even in 2011 Martin was saying he knew the endgames, which is a) comforting for Sansa ending up safely in Winterfell purposes, b) reassuring for Dark Dany believers, c) hilarious when you think about how many people are still pissed about Arya and Bran’s fates. And Jon? Well, I’ve made my peace with a tragic ending (although I’ve mocked it a great deal too because I can't see how it works), but we all know they fucked him over the most in s7-8, so I could also see D&D trashing what his ending was meant to be in favor of catering to Targ fans. Apparently Emilia has recently reiterated her frustration that Jon “got away” with killing Dany, so like…imagine the rage if he’d killed Dany and then got a HEA in Winterfell.

My feeling is that Martin told them Jon would kill Dany and they chose to do "the romance" (which imo, they didn't like because the way they wrote and filmed it and permitted Kit to act it just...sabotaged it in every way imaginable) to make it more palatable to her fans who ate it up. They actually are comforted that Jon "loved" Dany and after s8 dropped pics/gifs of him cradling her dead body into our tag bragging that he loved her. Like, D&D made really crappy choices, but I think it was about manhandling their audience while hitting Martin's plot points they knew the Targ fans would hate, not a result of them throwing out the endgames.

“ The condemnation of his procrastination, his apparent carelessness--- that he 'took the money and ran' --I’m not a Martin defender, I have real reservations with some of his choices, but I have family his age and do try to think of him as a person. I find a lot of how people speak of him...well, I have no issue with people being frustrated we don't have TWOW considering how long ago he said he'd finish it (like, back in 2016) and how often since then he's indicated getting close to the end only for it to then sound like he's quite a ways away. As long as people don't harass him, I don't think it's an issue to talk about this in fandom spaces. However, they often sound ignorant of what it takes to write something like ASOIAF, with all the levels he's trying to work on. Also, his writing style sounds like a total nightmare? The idea of tearing things up to fix them seems hopeless to me, and he’s talked about doing this repeatedly—it would be so hard to finish a chapter or several and then realize, nope, gotta rework all of it.

“because I am a writer trying to finish a long work, and I'm literally at the equivalent point GRRM is, and--- although he's a celebrated published author, and I'm writing for the sole joy of it--- I think that there is probably something fundamentally similar there, which is that holy fuck it's hard.” --Oh ho ho! Well, you know that’s gonna make me have all sorts of questions, so if you want to tell me about your work (genre, tome or series, influences, themes etc) I am all ears, but I also know some writers have to keep all that to themselves until they’re done so I won’t pry. Although, because of our exchanges, I would be interested in how you use romance in your own writing.

“writing itself is actually an extremely difficult task” // “Writing sometimes is kind of like trying to paint a person, except you've never seen a human being before.” —dead! I think the issue is, many people don’t distinguish between types of writing? So someone doesn’t distinguish between the goal and what say, a modern romance is attempting to accomplish versus a Jane Austen novel. They might end the evaluation at "like or didn't" and not grasp what all goes into different types of novels, their individual successes or failures, and why some novelists can complete multiple novels in a year, another might spend a few years on one. I think about this a lot when I see people suggest Martin get some ghost writers, and like, this man isn’t churning out genre fiction (which I love, I was a snob as a teen and cured myself, but it is an entirely different kind of writing!), so it's just...a lot of fans totally misjudge the effort required and how easily replicated the work would be.

“I think that at a minimum, for something like ASOIAF, the legacy of its ending ought to be his final say” --I find it incredibly sad every year that goes by and the chance of him completing his series dwindles. People forget that what holds sway over a culture doesn’t always have staying power and a) I think his work is doomed to being forever misinterpreted unless he finishes and b) I don’t think he’ll have accomplished what he wanted to regarding elevating fantasy / getting it the respect he believes it deserves unless he gets to that ending. It's a shame.

I enjoyed reading all your thoughts on Jonsa, the ideas it touches on and how GoT/ASOIAF might differ. Thank you!

#long post #dot chat

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yuzukahibiscus · 13 days

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Takarazuka Revue Flower Troupe Musical "Arc en ciel~ Rainbow Over Paris" opens in Tokyo performances. Yuzuka Rei, Hoshikaze Madoka closeup interview

(Source from Enterminal)

◆ Yuzuka Rei

I'm truly thankful that we could have our Tokyo open stage rehearsals successfully. First, more than anything, I will continue to improve to convey a stage that the audience will be happy with, and do my very best. So I ask for everyone's support.

◆ Hoshikaze Madoka

I'm very happy that our Tokyo stage rehearsals are complete. I will remember this feeling in my heart and with a smile on my face, I will continue to improve till the end. Please support us.

ーーー This is both of your graduation performance. Upon finishing performances at the Takarazuka Grand Theatre, how do you feel about welcoming the Tokyo opening performance.

◆Yuzuka Rei

I want to treat this performance as a new one, and create a better performance, so I have been doing rehearsals in the classroom and on stage. We finished our one month and a half of performances in the Takarazuka Grand Theatre, but I want to do as much as I can, and do more on various aspects, thinking of how to embrace certain traits of the role. Once again, I wanted to deliver even a tiny bit of energy to the audience in this energetic stage, and I'm approaching this performance from the start again.

◆ Hoshikaze Madoka As Yuzuka-san said, while this is our graduation performance, what I always think about the Tokyo performances is even when the Grand Theatre performances already ended, I'm at the stage of wanting to aim higher until the Tokyo closing performance comes. I want to treasure this time and perform well in this musical.

ーーー From how you carefully play the role, to conveying the duet dance at the finale like a chapter of a drama, how did you feel dancing together?

◆ Yuzuka Rei I've been approaching my role since the rehearsals for the Grand Theatre, and the long period of time performing in the Grand Theatre, but now I think more of "how would Marcel feel in this kind of way" and for yesterday and today, I read the script with Catherine (Hoshikaze) all over again. While interpreting each and every scene, we had discussions on "how the relationship of the couple would change", so I hope that I'd be able to present Marcel, and even Marcel's relationship with Catherine better, and I'm still exploring and searching for the answer. How did you feel about the duet dance?

◆ Hoshikaze Madoka When we walked out of the silver bridge, usually we would start on opposite sides on the left and right and meet at the center, but this time we're holding hands...

◆ Yuzuka Rei Having a walk on the silver bridge (LOL).

◆ Hoshikaze Madoka I feel so blessed when we could have a walk together. I could feel the love from the many sensei, so I want to cherish this time performing this.

◆ Yuzuka Rei

I hope that everyone could watch over our duet dance, that we could make the performance deeper and richer in content, and that we would also cherish this time together.

ーーーThis is a performance about the French revue under the Nazist German occupation, so is there anything you find connected to yourself about this performance?

◆Yuzuka Rei

The greatest thing I've felt during the pandemic was my gratitude towards the audience. It goes the same for Marcel in this performance, that of course I think about what I want to convey in my dance, but he realised that to the audience that fill the theatre, his greatest hope was to create a performance that they would enjoy. That is how (Marcel) grows in the story. That is also what is overlapping to me, and how both of us think that the audience is the most important, is also what I can relate to.

ーーー "Wavering but not sunken" is a very memorable song, how do you feel singing it?

◆ Yuzuka Rei

I can truly feel how beautiful the lyrics' meaning are and the beauty of its melody, and also can receive much power from the song. As Yuzuka and as Marcel, we are all drawn to this song, and I'm very grateful to have encountered this song. I sing this song on the silver bridge and can see the audience's faces clearly, and I can feel that when the audience probably listen to this song and hear these words and lyrics, it helps them think back on the various memories. I'm once again thankful to share this kind of time with the audience, and with that I want to sing this song sincerely.

ーーー There are many dance scenes, what do you feel about those dances as a character who is a choreographer/dancer?

◆ Yuzuka Rei

I'm so happy to show various kinds of dance numbers to the audience. And (not really as a choreographer at first) when I play Marcel as a dancer that challenges different dances, I once again think what do I want to convey to the audience, so as to hone, practice and calculate how I dance. I want to connect my conscious to marcel and I was able to learn much not just for this graduation performance, but learning every day, and I'm very glad to have this role in the end.

#yuzuka rei #flower troupe #top star #top musumeyaku #hoshikaze madoka #hanagumi #takarazuka #takarazuka revue #hibiscustranslation #柚香光 #星風まどか

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carlos-in-glasses · 9 months

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#It still breaks my heart that he put on a smart shirt for his 'date' with TK #For some reason that gets to me more than the Champagne and the effort with the cooking 😭 #Like imagining him picking out his clothes 😭 #And being excited and feeling really good 😭

They're married now, but this still gives me all the feels. And like I'm not even mad at TK about it because Carlos did kind of spring something more on him, than what TK thought it was and TK had just gone through hell. But just thinking about it FROM Carlos' POV with what we know now about how strongly Carlos felt from the start and, I'm assuming his very limited dating history, it just kills me. So like you said, he found someone who literally blew his mind and his heart and so he breaks out the works, the outfit, the food, etc all giddy. (That moment after they make out by the door and TK turns to look at the set up table, Carlos has the biggest excited smile) and it's just so ahhhh. The timing was off then, but we know now from season 4 that they do do the whole dress nice and have dinner together thing and it makes me happy (and I want to see that more, preferably without Owen interrupting or an escaped Lou Two lol).

😭 His smile!!! I know!!!! The whole thing is SO heartbreaking. I struggle to watch the scene but I think about it all the time. I'm not mad at TK either - I'm so sad for him too. But yes if we look at it entirely from Carlos' POV... it's actually crushing. He'd have sent that text to TK asking him to come over, worrying he might not get a response, or it would be a flat no. But he gets a yes! TK Strand is heading to him after his shift! So he prepares everything beautifully. Including himself. Imagine him ironing that shirt. Buttoning it in front of the bedroom mirror. Maybe fumbling with the buttons because he's a little nervous - but it's nervous-excitement. He's going to woo the man he has a major crush on at soul-level, and he thinks it's going to go well. He's going to show TK that he's a sophisticated man full of domestic talent and bright conversation, as well as being a tender yet rough lover. He's going to ask TK about himself, and listen with genuine interest, and they'll eat, and drink Champagne, and laugh, and then go upstairs, maybe...

Then TK's "clearly" after Carlos tells him he doesn't "do this very often"... and the look on Carlos' face when he realises it's all fallen apart. Michelle's "Doesn't it always get weird?" is ringing in my head now. How many times is always? What happened, and when, and with who? And when did it hurt, when it did matter like this? TK is a ten, and he's the one, and he's walked out.

"we know now from season 4 that they do do the whole dress nice and have dinner together thing and it makes me happy" - me too!!! I'd love to see more of their stay-at-home dinner dates.

I think we need an emotional forehead-nuzzle after this. ❤️

#Ask

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period-dramallama · 18 days

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Becoming Elizabeth: the autopsy

I just realised I never did a review of episode 8. Lol. Lmao even. This isn't an episode review but rather a discussion of the show upon rewatch.

Basically this is a show where the whole is not equal to the sum of its parts.

When I talk about the problems with the writing, I generally mean the narrative choices. The literal writing itself is good. Particularly for Tommy S, because those funny and witty/endearing lines explain his charm and why he is able to win over people and make them think he's a nice guy he's a funny guy he's a lovable rogue he's an adventurer. Tommy S does need to have some charm/charisma in order to be an effective villain. He can't go around being obviously evil.

There are still too many F words, but i was pleasantly surprised that there weren't as many as I remembered. And some F words I couldn't bear to part with: "The fuck is that?" And "what the fuck is wrong with you?!" In episode 5 for example.

I've seen some people say that the quality of the writing dropped in the episodes that aren't Anya Reiss but.... I think the quality of the writing was consistent. The iconic "I wish to take my c***ing bath" was not in an Anya episode, and neither was one of my favourite scenes in the whole show (yes it's the Dudley swordfighting training scene but it's an objectively good scene and not just because it's cute boys in fencing gear).

I initially thought episode 7 was my least favourite episode, but looking back there isn't really a good episode or a bad episode. Every episode has something I like and a bunch of stuff I'd change. If I had to pick 2 favourite episodes I'd pick 1 and 6. But because the problems are with narrative choices they're spread across the series. Even in episode 1, we have Elizabeth "I said at 9 i didn't want to marry so a lot would need to happen to change my mind" Tudor suddenly deciding she wants to marry a man she barely knows because hormones and they had a nice conversation one time. The rot set in quickly.

After the first four episodes I started skipping Mary and Tommy S scenes. I won't say any more on Katherine Parr because I've already said all I have to say on her characterisation. I did do some soul searching because I wondered if my dislike of her was subconscious internalised misogyny, given my affection for morally ambiguous male characters. But no, she really does lack both charm and depth.

So why is Becoming Elizabeth so narratively unsatisfying? Aside from Elizabeth being OOC, I think it's that the story feels like it's going around in circles.

Jane and Elizabeth clash. They make up. Then in episode 7 they fall out again. Mary and Edward fight, make up, fight, make up, fight again. Elizabeth realises Tommy S is dangerous, then she forgets, then she realises again. Mary scolds this character and they don't listen and then this character and they don't listen.

Yes character development isn't linear but it isn't circular either. It GOES somewhere. Setup and payoff are mutually reinforcing. It's fun to watch the setup because you know what's coming as a result of it. Payoff is fun because you saw how we got here. But it isn't satisfying to watch something that you know won't result in anything permanent. I don't feel anything watching Jane be tactless to Elizabeth in episode 1 because I know she'll be even MORE tactless in episode 7. And I don't feel anything seeing Elizabeth reach out the hand of friendship to Jane after the recital fiasco because I know in episode 7 they'll just fall out again. Whereas with Mary and Elizabeth they at least end the series with their relationship in a different place (hell).

And I have every sympathy with the writers because I'm up to my eyeballs at editing and I know what it's like to take historical events and try and make a plot and character arcs out of them. But the letter subplot and the Danish marriage subplot were largely fictional anyway. And they kinda went nowhere.

I understand that the showrunners wanted a complex villain in Tommy S. I get it. My favourite characters in this show are people capable of great love and also great harm. But to humanise him you only really needed that conversation with Elizabeth in episode 1 establishing his uncertainty and confusion, and the excellent "goshawk hatching out of a goose egg" scene with Jane. That establishes that he has the ability to be good he just chooses to be awful. So yes, the show really did give him too much screen time. He's not the main character, Elizabeth is! He should not have screen time comparable with her and her siblings! This wasn't supposed to be the Tommy S show! Nobody asked for that!

Gardiner is another problem IMHO. Setting aside the fact he's way too young to be the real Gardiner. He really shouldn't be here. He spent Edward's reign in the Tower. I know he shows up as a result of the fictional plots... so why write those fictional plots to the point you have to bring him in?? Cranmer IS important. You could have had Cranmer pushing Edward to be radical, Ed pushing him to be more lenient, and Daddy Dudley balancing the two. Voila, a dynamic!

And I get that Elizabeth wasn't doing much politically 1550-3 but you could still show her reacting and learning from events around her rather than warping Edward's reign completely out of shape AND making her a side character in her own story.

#becoming elizabeth #ok ive said my bit now so i can shut up

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abihastastybeans · 22 days

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HELLO

5, 10, 13, 15, 18, 19, 21, 29 from here

(i just realised that that's a lot so feel free to skip some/answer selectively if you want to do that!)

CAL HIIIII!!!!

(are you kidding ofcourse I'm gonna answer all of that, let's make a game out of it and see how long it takes me)(it's 15:05 when I started answering)

5. Favourite song in your native language

Can't think of one rn😭 The first one that came to mind is Venmadhi Venmadhi from Minnale because some guy was playing that on the bus yesterday. I think it's a lovely song, especially the third verse :)

10. Most enjoyable swear word in your native language

I don't really swear in Tamil😂 I only use words like stupid/wastrel/dog/buffalo... y'know the most common ones lol

But, again, the first swear word that came to mind is *looks around to make sure no one's listening* "watha" - which is basically the Tamil equivalent of fuck - because one of my friends called another friend that this morning lmao

13. Does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions ot traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

Well there's so many but i generally think that doing rituals/ chanting slokas or vedas must be very strange to outsiders who aren't really used to that! Imagine being a white christian and you encounter a yagna happening with a giant fire, lots of huge shirtless men saying very weird words in their blaring voice, adding all kinds of different things into the fire, while surrounding people watched on... I'd be terrified 😂💀

15. A saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

SO BEAUTIFUL. SO ELEGANT. JUST LOOKING LIKE A WOW.

18. Do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

Gosh I speak so many dialects - depending on who I'm talking with. There's what I consider the normal one, there's the one mixed with random English sentences😂, there's the local chennai dialect for when I'm dealing with/in public or local vendors💀, there's the tambrahm (wow it feels weird to say it like that) dialect because that's what I was raised on in mum's side of the family

19. Do you like your country's flag and/or emblem? What about the national anthem?

I've honestly never thought about this before...

Flag - 🇮🇳 It's a good one, I like what it stands for. But no one would forget the struggle it would take when you were 6 years old and were asked to draw the national flag and you wouldn't remember how many spokes are there in the ashoka chakra😭 or even if you remembered, you wouldn't know how to divide them evenly throughout the circle... So much stress. 7/10

Emblem - it's a bit complex if you ask me but eh. It looks cool i guess. I like the phrase 'satyameva jayathe' ("truth alone triumphs" in Sanskrit) so there's that :p 5/10

National Anthem - I love it!! I like the picture it paints, listing out all those places! Only criticism is that it was very difficult for younger abi to sing the beginning because it was so very low and i struggled for a long time😅 9/10

21. If you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

Aloo mutter gravy and methi roti👍

29. Does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

I was thinking really hard...before i realised🤭

MYSURU. WHY do you do that to your sambar??? It's nice, I'd be lying if I said it's bad, but how?????? How did you come to the decision "oh you know what. I'm gonna make this taste sweet. Yeah."??

We went to Mysore one time and had some sambar and do you know what happened, cal? My cousin threw up, that's what happened.

(it was because of the long uphill travel but the sambar definitely contributed :p)

What you lack in sambar, you make up for it with Udupi rasam so. I forgive you😤

(now the time is 15:55)

"Hi, I'm not from the US" ask set

#cal tag #ask game #this WAS long lmaooo

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descubriendo-aurelia · 2 years

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tl;dr trans origin story

So, what have I done so far? How did I arrive to this point? Well, I kind of always knew that I wished I had been born a girl, but for many years I suppressed these feelings. I can remember as far back as age 4, seeing my older female cousin Jaimie and wishing I could look like her.

(Warning: I talk briefly about a sexual encounter below.)

I'd been somewhat familiar with feminizing HRT, FFS and vaginoplasty since I was an early adolescent thanks to cable TV, and transitioning seemed like such an extreme process (because it is) that it seemed impossibly expensive to achieve the results that I wanted for myself. I'd always been fascinated with hearing the stories of trans people and would watch anything related to them them any chance I got. My favourite movie since I was 16 years old was, and still is to this day, Breakfast on Pluto, a story about an Irish transwoman. How curious that it didn't occur to me until later in life that I loved this movie because I wanted to be like the main character.

Throughout the years there were other signs, like playing dress-up with my best friend and wearing their femme clothes, which led to the appearance of my Southern belle alter-ego Annabelle in our late teens while the True Blood series was still popular. Yes, with a big, floppy hat y todo. 👒

Shortly after moving to Seattle, I'd come to the realisation that I'd never been comfortable with a male identity and decided to start identifying as non-binary and using they/them pronouns.

There were two main catalysts that made me come to terms with my inner womanhood this past year. The first was a sexual encounter I had with a bisexual man who wanted me to wear panties for him. As we had sex, he sexualised me as a woman and referred to me as a woman. It made me feel validated and desired in a way that I had never been before, and it felt so right and perfect somehow. This encounter, as you might imagine, made me reflect long and hard about my gender identity.

The second catalyst was an Italki Spanish conversation class. My teacher is a trans woman, and the topic of discussion was gender identity. At one point during our discussion, she asked me, "What part of you wants to cling to the masculine?" and I realised that I didn't really have an answer for her. I realised that I was clinging to masculinity (or vestiges of it, lol) because I wanted to please other people, rather than make myself happy and discover my true identity.

A couple days later, on July 20th 2022, I decided that it was time to start doing something about it. I started by telling close friends, and it wasn't long before I settled on the name Aurelia and started to try presenting as female to the best of my ability. I'm very fortunate to work in a very trans-friendly city at a very trans-friendly business with exceptional health insurance for individuals who seek in gender affirming care. Having already worked alongside several trans people at my job, I felt comfortable enough to start coming out to my coworkers right away. They, of course, accepted me with open arms and have been amazing at using my preferred name and pronouns. A few of them even gave me clothes!

I then, of course, started shopping. In addition to makeup and clothes, I bought an epilator, silicone breast forms, mastectomy bras, a few different styles of gaffs as well as tucking tape. Not at all once, of course, 'cause all that shit was expensive. (Especially the gaffs! I tried two styles, a cheap $20 Amazon that was bulky and inaffective, and a $40 that works amaaazingly. $40 is a lot, but after I started ordering one every paycheque, I think she took notice and started sending me two per order, which was super sweet of her. Thanks, Lexy B Blair!)

I found a doctor who specialises in transgender care through my insurance and on September 6th, I started taking my HRT medications. After 5 weeks, I've seen slight (though not yet visible) breast tissue growth, skin softening, and thinning and softening of body hair. It's hard for me to gauge any emotional or psychological changes, since I was a very emotional person before HRT, lol. I guess I get angry way less often, but I also feel like this was true before I started HRT and has more to do with the relief I felt immediately after coming out that I was finally allowing myself to present female.

On October 13th, I got registered for laser hair removal, and I'll begin my first treatments in November! I'm so tired of shaving every day and having to use orange colour corrector and a full face of heavy foundation just to have a "natural" look. My facial hair comes in really dark, so no matter how close I shave, they leave behind a greenish undertone to my skin, which is why I need the colour corrector.

So, now what? We wait for the hormones to do their job. I probably won't notice any major changes until a year in, and the full effects could take 3-4 years. I asked my doctor about progesterone to help with breast development, and he wants to try it when I'm 6 months to a year in. Depending on how well that works, I may or may not eventually want breast augmentation.

Another procedure I'm definitely interested in is facial feminisation surgery. Because I went through a testosterone-based puberty during my adolescence, my jawline is very angular and I have a protruding brow bone compared to before I started puberty. HRT is supposed to help a little bit with rounding of the face via fat redistribution, but this won't be noticeable for at least a year. So, I suppose the plan will be to see how satisfied I am after the three year mark, and if not, look into getting the procedure.

And then, of course, there's the surgery that cispeople are most obsessed with: ✨vaginoplasty✨. Will I get it? First of all, if you don't already know this, please don't ever ask a trans person this question. As for me, I'm still conflicted. I don't believe in the concept of "completely transitioning" and don't think that genital surgery is a necessary step in a gender transition. I would be completely content keeping my genitals and would still feel as complete of a woman as any other. And yet, when it really comes down to it, I think I would still prefer a vagina to a penis if given the choice... which, I guess I have? But then, of course, there's the whole surgery itself, which is very extensive and scary, with a rough recovery. Plus the extensive dilations. Hmm, I just don't know about all that. If I did it, which I honestly don't think I will, I would want a very talented doctor who will perform a labiaplasty, clitoroplasty, and vaginoplasty, and who has multiple photographs of the results of former patients.

So, that's all, folks. If you're still reading this, thank you for listening to me overshare, lol.

#hrt update #mtf trans #trans #transgender #transfemme #transfem #trans woman #transgirl #trans positivity #vaginoplasty #gender affirming surgery #gender affirming care

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marengogo · 10 months

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UGH!-6: But like … Did They Stutter?

Yet To Come - by BTS [Proof]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

…

Given that even my coworkers, who generally REALLY DON’T CARE/KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BTS except for the ones who now have started listening to some of their songs thanks to yours truly, came to me saying “So. BTS. They are disbanding uh? …” the day after FESTA 2022 dinner, I’d say it wouldn’t be a gross generalization to assume that at least every ARMY, OT7, x/y/z-biased, solo, anti, shipper, whatever-you-prefer-to-be-called, saw FESTA 2022 dinner. Right?

If you haven’t I’d highly recommend you to do so but as always you feel free to do you as the boys did explain everything that they could at the time, which is pretty much what is happening right now. They also made a couple of sentiments and statements clear, and I, for one, am writing this post even though I am painfully aware that the boys are never going to see it, yet I still wish to put out this message in the universe, maybe its energy will manifest and reach them somehow, as I would really like them not to think that we all have poor listening and reading comprehension.

BTS’ CHAPTER 1: THE END OF AN ERA.

The Beatles. The Jackson 5. Menudo. New Edition. Backstreet Boys. One Direction.

According to the following Wiki definition this is what they all have in common:

A boy band is loosely defined as a vocal group consisting of young male singers, usually in their teenage years or in their twenties at the time of formation.[1] Generally, boy bands perform love songs marketed towards girls and young women. Many boy bands dance as well as sing, usually giving highly choreographed performances. South Korean boy bands usually also have designated rappers 🤡 LOL LOL LOL 🤡.

That being said, with hindsight, we can add/examine a couple of aspects, which have surfaced through the years and further represent boy bands. For example, the fact that at the very beginning boy bands were usually the union of a group of friends, or classmates, basically, people who already knew each other. Let’s fast forward a couple of decades, and we see that the music industry catches on to the fact that waiting for the next phenomenal boy band to magically appear is not sustainable and that is when they realise that they can actually make the groups themselves. So starts the scouting and the auditioning with the sole goal of slapping together supposedly talented boys who are complete strangers to one another, but who at the very least, have a desire to become rich and famous. “Win-win”.

Moving on, around the same time, we'll have to leave the West and take a trip to East-Asia, where the boy band industry has had an even bigger eureka moment. What they’ve realized is that even though these boys may not have the affinity of a band of boys who already know each other, from a business point of view they can easily be molded into whatever it is on demand at the very moment, afterall, everybody loves a good story, and even better if it comes with a great soundtrack. So what better than creating a narrative for these boy bands, each member would have a role/character associated and fans can not only enjoy the music but also follow a sort of “storyline” as they watch for example the silent masculine strong member interact with the cute feminine talkative one. Even greater “win”, brr brr!.

Now, in an ideal world, all that reasoning would make sense and bring about endless profit, but we don’t live in such a place do we? The whole purpose of a business is to make money and if money is what you base your every decision on, sooner or later, you are bound to encounter problems that money can’t solve without changing things irreversibly and in most instances, for the worst. The thing about grouping ambitious strangers with the intent of becoming rich (usually more for the company) and famous (usually more for the artists) is that if you don’t have a common goal all you are essentially doing is building a glorified House of Cards.

And don’t get me wrong, Longevity, is something that this type of companies, and the artists themselves, could only dream to achieve but never actually aim at. Nobody does, because it is very much a pipe dream type of thing. In fact, for the most part, the company's goal is it to at least have one amazing CD, make fans go crazy for a year or two, so that they can spend some money, and then if it doesn’t work anymore, the artist would hope to have garnered enough fame to allow them to start perhaps a solo career, or at least stay within the business, while the group inevitably disbands and the company moves on to the next group. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. This has been the blueprint, and it was indeed the same blueprint used to form Bangtan Sonyeondan.

It was the same blueprint, but Bang SiHyuk was a visionary that had goals of his own, with a knack for unusual experimentation 🤡. And exactly like a Mad Scientist, if you will, he played around with what he believed to be “slightly usual ingredients”. However, what he didn’t quite know at the time, was that these “ingredients” were actually very unusual. Some of the “ingredients” didn’t follow instructions, some very quickly dropped their assigned character, and some even had secret jobs but what they all had, and he probably didn’t account for or maybe he did, who knows right? was an extraordinary fighting spirit, which pulled up strong when it became clear that it was Bangtan vs the World. These boys had something to prove. They had somehow found their common goal.

As we all should know, early Bangtan, due to Big Hit's lack of reputation and funds, became the industry’s punching bag. This would have normally caused an “explosion in the lab”, instead, it created something new. The boys were fired up with this fiery will to fight back. They took the negativity and turned it into artistic fuel and did all of that while naturally learning about each other and consequently depending on each other solely. Somehow, these boys ended up actually liking each other. They kinda fought like members of a band made of family members, but had the passion of members of a band of strangers. They were an anomaly.

An anomaly in a world that had rapidly become full of “anomalies”. Your everyday listener was, yes, looking for good music, yes, looking for something new and entertaining, but when they realised that they could also get someone who they could relate to; … 🤯🤯🤯. And so the “ingredients'' began to mutate. Along the way, they found their true calling, while adapting to their environment and understanding their receptors fandom, which also understood them in return, creating a never before seen bond, Tannies & ARMY, that brought them to where they are now; a world where THEY are the blueprint has anyone else noticed the number of boy/girl bands that got back together.

These boys have created something unique.

Something that other “Mad Scientists” have ever since been trying so hard to recreate in “their labs” and so far to no avail. This “something” is not only insanely lucrative, but also so emotionally rare, and has a chance at Longevity. These are boys who trust and genuinely love each other, but because they are also human, and have learned to be honest with themselves, they also know their limitations. And like they’ve always done, they sat down, exposed the problem, and tried to find a solution. And even though they didn’t have to, they also sat down with us, FESTA 2022 dinner, and quite clearly explained their solution. But, as always, the world managed to take their words and turn them into whatever sold better on the front page of the next morning paper we’ll get to that later on or/and whatever better fits their personal agendas.

BTS’ CHAPTER 2: A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME, WITH AN UNLIMITED NUMBER OF POSSIBILITIES.

Have any of you experienced moments where you just wanted some time to yourself? Like, you love your friends, your family, your job, your everything, but at the same time, you are mentally exhausted and you need out for as long as you can afford? This is usually what most people use holidays for, you might be thinking. But the type of out I’m talking about is the kind where you want to be able to pause your present life, start another life for a while, and then go back to your past life kinda out. Basically, a “have your cake and eat it” type of out.

That’s what I feel the boys are trying to experience and I ain’t mad at it, not one bit. Cause, let's be real, most of us regular people can’t really afford to even think of experiencing such a thing without MAJOR repercussions to our everyday life. But not only do I feel like they deserve it, but if it also allows them to reach their goals, and solve their problems, it would be like killing two birds with one stone. I mean, they really are not hurting anyone, by wanting to have a chance to experience life outside BTS other than those who are setting themselves up to be hurt that is 🤡.

October 2022 rolled around and we got the following:

This theoretically gives a precise time frame to BTS’ CHAPTER 2. Let’s say that being back together means that they will physically be together and do a WLIVE on the 31st of December 2025, that means that, if we assume their serving period to be 18 months, the latest any member can enlist is the 30th of June 2024 (which I calculated considering the 30th of December 2025 being their last day). Obviously, I don’t know if their plan is to be together by the end of December 2025 and start working on a new album in 2026. Or be together say by August 2025 and ready for a tour in 2026 with a new album; only time can tell. But for the purpose of this post: BTS’ CHAPTER 2 began on the 15th of June 2022 and could end on the 31st of December 2025.

SO, that being said, a couple of things happened on the 15th of June 2022 that I would like to point out and a couple of things, define a couple of others, and I would like for people to remember one particular thing:

THINGS TO POINT OUT:

Some OT7 ARMY decided to dip and come back when BTS comes back to be 7, so after MS.

Other OT7 and/or x/y/z-biased ARMY decided to support each member’s solo endeavour.

Last but abso-fucking-lutely not least, SOLOS FINALLY GOT THEIR TIME TO SHINE AND PUSH THEIR AGENDA, along side antis.

THINGS TO DEFINE:

FAMILY BOY BAND MEMBER or FBBMs: Is what I will call boy bands with members that already knew each other, or were already related, etc etc etc.

STRANGERS BOY BAND MEMBERS or SBBMs: Is what I will call the type of bands that were put together through an audition, selection, etc etc etc.

ONE THING TO REMEMBER OR REALISE:

There was a point in time when BTS was seriously considered by NOBODY. Many knew about them, but still wanted nothing to do with them. Some that knew about them, went on and treated them like trash. Even though they had the talent, it took their fandom at the time to be persistent in order for people to give them a chance. In short, differently from many FBBMs and SBBMs who eventually ended up splitting up after reaching fame, BTS experienced having nobody but themselves and their label and fame came AFTER THAT. Because everyone was a nobody before becoming somebody, but how many were nobodies, who were constantly shoved down by semi-bodies and ignored by somebodies before they became THE BODIES themselves? So yeah, they may be smiling to people that harmed them in the past, and they might have decided to forgive and forget in other instances, but as real and intended as the experience they had were, you can bet that so are the choices that they make nowadays. A method to madness.

If you are a businessperson like yours truly, or have dealt with managing a business, you probably know that it is like in Love and War; all is fair. Obviously, this brings about injustice right away, but this is a known fact, no matter how clean you are, if you come and play in a muddy place, what do you think is gonna happen? Not to say that everyone is trying to get down and dirty, in fact, there are people that try their best to keep clean, but the reality of the fact is that you are still playing in mud. Yet, there is a difference between purposely trying to suffocate people in those muddy waters and trying to simply play by the rules, harm as less people as possible in the process and going home to live another day and start all over again the next day.

Life is about balance, that’s why I like the color gray so much, it is the balance between black and white. And even though the Tannies are our beloved artists, it is important not to forget that in their own right they are also businessmen. I’m sure they want nothing else than to be there for ARMY always in theri best capacities, but this is not a charity, their lives, and the people who work for them, depend on the amount of money they make; this needs to not be forgotten. Now, how they make this money, all depends on the muddy field they play in, but from what I can see they really try their darn best to keep as clean as they can and harm as few people as humanly possible.

ALL THAT to say that, when you experience having NOTHING with a group of PEOPLE, you will TREASURE THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE. Hence, ONCE AGAIN and it will not be the last time, I’ll keep hammering this, Chapter 2 wasn’t brought by for them to spread their wings and keep the fuck out, but as a means for them to have the experience they each want to have so that they can eventually be together again, healthily in order ot achieve Longevity which I will also get to towards the end of this post, don’t worry. And this brings me right to the current issues on the fandom-streets: FAVORITISM & SOLOS.

So at the moment “JUNGKOOK and his radio play” are the most recent subject. I will not go in depth, as I’ll be damned if I brought up all THE UNNECESSARY energy that has been riding with this valid topic. In fact, one thing that I found very helpful in understanding the radio play issue, was the following post by Ororo and Artiechikoo:

https://www.tumblr.com/chikooritajjk/722232413519052800/so-youll-are-basically-saying-since-the-industry?source=share

Now, once you’ve read that, you’ll understand that the ACTUAL ISSUE HERE IS: WHY DIDN’T HYBE SEND LIKE CRAZY TO BE PLAYED ON THE RADIO, and that ladies, gentlemen and distinguished enbies, is a legit ass question. However, none of the members have anything to do with ANY of that, or with anything related really. During Festa 2022 dinner, they all told us the order in which their albums were coming out, which would indicate that they all sat down months beforehand, and all discussed what they wanted to do during their chapter 2. I would also dare to say that they also all were responsible for their projects, promotions and every aspect of their chapter 2, but that is just me.

ANYWAYS, back to the Jimin radio play issue, which, once again, is A VALID TOPIC, that unfortunately is being muddied from all the shit that solos are bringing forth that has NOTHING to do with anything. Is like the story of the boy who cried wolf, when the actual wolf arrived, nobody was there to help. When you are still stuck on cakes, on accusing members of sabotage, or any moving thing at that, THE REAL PROBLEM WILL BE OVERLOOKED.

Also, just putting this out there, if you actually think that ANY OF THE MEMBERS is out there actively sabotaging other members, then rest assured that you are also stanning a phonie-ass person. If you took a second to check out every other member, for every member who is being sabotaged by members, there is a story about that same member sabotaging another member. MEANING that we would all be supporting a band of phonies, who wouldn’t think twice to backstab their band mates; ALL OF THEM.

So when, for example, you are accusing JK of throwing JM under the bus, or in the mud, stop one second, breathe, and TRY to put yourself in JK’s shoes. Imagine for example, spending a whole day reacting to JM content, or even just the following:

And then, imagine not giving a fuck about him: HOW DOES THAT WORK EXACTLY? Yes we don’t like Scooter Braun, yes we don’t agree with MANY OTHER THINGS, but it is vital to know how to address the correct issue and not just burn EVERYTHING DOWN, or/and involve not concerned parties. So when for example, the company is to blame, then the fucking company is to blame only, and not everything you would like to blame along with it.

I 👏🏾DO 👏🏾 NOT 👏🏾 CARE 👏🏾 FOR 👏🏾 SOLOS 👏🏾 IN 👏🏾ANY 👏🏾 WAY 👏🏾 OR 👏🏾 FORM 👏🏾.

Not too long ago, I was making this example with someone who told me that there was maybe a valid reason for people to become solos, but to me it felt like people saying they had a valid reason for becoming Nazi; would I support a Nazi, no matter what reason? 🤡🤡🤡THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY, and unfortunately, keep suffering for a while longer, is one of them 🤡🤡🤡Becoming a Nazi WILL NEVER BE THE ANSWER for me, in the same way in which BECOMING A SOLO WILL NEVER BE THE ANSWER. When you become a solo you actively decide to care fuck all about all the other members. Now the person you want to support, loves and wants to keep building something with the people you decide are expendable, so, once again: HOW DOES THAT WORK EXACTLY? Being able to pinpoint the actual issue is hard, it is confusing, it is stressful, but it is essential, please please please understand that.

BTS’ CHAPTER 3: BTS IS ENDGAME. PERIOD.

… I mean, I really don’t want to sound like a broken record so let me allow them to say it:

💙:

Here is the link to the full article: https://www.instagram.com/p/CpgkLqbtEKB/?hl=en

🩷:

🖤:

❤️:

💛:

💚:

💜:

AAAAAND, Except for Yoongi who is being rightfully private precious:

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I have a feeling that Yoongi got a “matching tattoo with the rest of the rapline, so his tattoo is somewhere on one of his legs …These boys have spent YEARS OF THEIR LIFE fighting against all sorts of prejudice, hate, nonsense, and more. It used to be from those who never gave them a chase, but now it seems that the adversary-wave is coming from within the fandom. YEAH IT LOOKS BAD RIGHT ABOUT NOW. But let's emphasize the LOOKS part of that sentence, because Social media “ARMY” aren’t IT.

When you spend too much time on any SM, it will feel like that’s what ARMY is ALL about but I can guarantee you that there are so many ARMY out there who don’t know or care about the noise and just mind their business and keep streaming and advocating for the right causes. There are ARMY who do their best to support the boys in the best way they can, even if they can’t afford to buy every single piece of merch.

There are also ARMY who are waiting for the boys to come back and also those people who have no idea yet, but will suddenly become ARMY in 2026 when THE BIGGEST COMEBACK THIS PLANET WOULD HAVE EVER WITNESSED, will kick off after they announce their world tour. In conclusion, as always, DO AS YOU SEE FIT, but if you decide that, believing and following people who think that having the boys competing against each other for future solo supremacy is where it’s at, all I’d “cutely” have to say is that:

THEY DIDN’T STUTTER: OT7 IS ENDGAME.

HAPPY ARMY DAY 🫰🏾.

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo.

#Marengo Goes UGH!#HAPPY ARMY DAY #They Didn't Stutter #OT7 ARMY

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