#2b I do hope you won’t hate me for this if you can see it

[that-gt-and-vore-stuffs]

Experiment 05SB

Alternatively titled “I’m sorry 2B don’t hate me please”

I hath given in to the M4dc0m brain rot at the cost of me now having written a 7k+ word fic because I’m not confident enough in my art skills to draw it at the moment. Here we go!

Oh, there’s also implied fatal in this (it’s of unnamed characters, plus this is M4dc0m, but I’ve gotta say it. I guess you could take it as reformation if you really wanted to.). Mentions of blood I guess?

As always, Vore under the cut :)

“Ey 2b? You there?” Deimos’s voice crackled to life through the plastic earpiece currently jammed into his left ear, yanking the hacker and unofficial ‘team medic’ as he was called once (much to his own confusion. Sure, he knew basic medical but by no means was he any sort of doctor) back into reality. A brief moment passed in the silence of his room, more often called ‘the lab’, of their base before everything came crashing back at once. Deimos, Sanford, and Hank were out raiding a A.A.H.W warehouse at his instruction. Meaning he was alone in their base, also known as a breaking down appartement they had taken shelter in. It had electricity and provided shelter from the harsh hell scape that had once been the state of Nevada. A dark red sunless sky overhead, vegetation and any ecosystems completely wiped out from what they’d seen, bandits and zeds equally ready to eat the nearest person if it meant living another day, the Agency hunting you down if they thought you’d possibly be working against them or with the infamous Hank J. Wimbleton, and having little to no essential resources for days at a time to top it all off like some twisted cherry on this sick cake. Home sweet fucking home.

“Doc? Helllloooo?” Shit, right. Deimos.

“Sorry, I’m here. What is it Deimos?”

“And the medic lives!” The small cheer was accompanied by laughter from the smallest member of the team. Jebus, how was he able to joke in even the most dire situations?

“Just get to the point, chucklehead.” 2b could hear Sanford add in over the static, the man’s laughter just barely making it to tired ears.

“Right right, sorry man. Anyway, if we wanted to get food on the way back would you say no?” Pardon? There was no way he was hearing that right. There were several reasons why he couldn’t be hearing that right. A. food wasn’t by any means the easiest thing to come by in this hellhole, B. restaurants weren’t really a common thing anymore so those were out of the picture, and C. there’s no way they could p- actually, scratch that last one. Robbing a corpse wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that those three had done. Not by a long shot. Still though, how was he supposed to respond to that request?

“…what?” Apparently by asking the first word on his mind.

“We saw that one hotdog vendor on the way here and we’re all starving. Can we or can we not get hotdogs on the way back?” Oh. That’s what Deimos ment. How on earth had that hotdog vendor not been killed yet?

“Is this a genuine ‘we’ or is it a ‘me’, Deimos?” That seemed like a more fair and answerable question.

“Hey I-!”

“It’s a genuine ‘we’ Doc,” Sanford’s voice chimed in. By the cursing in the background 2b could imagine that he had flipped up Deimos’s mic to temporarily mute him in the realm of their earpieces. “Pretty sure one of our stomachs gave us away to the last group of agents we had to take out. Not gonna point fingers but I’m pretty sure it was Hank- Ack! I’m just saying!”

“Thought we weren’t pointing fingers.” There was the third voice. Rough from years of fighting yet still all too recognizable as Hank. The same Hank J. Wimbleton on the wanted posters that scattered the walls of almost every nearby building, wanted dead by the Auditor and his whole agency. He must’ve smacked Sanford for his comment. Well at least he didn’t do worse, whether on purpose or accident.

“We aren’t. Now Cmon Doc, you never answered my question.” Hearing the other hacker’s voice ask for an answer again 2b sighed. Always eager, wasn’t he? How the man had seemingly endless energy on missions would forever remain a mystery to him, Jebus be damned.

“I don’t really care what you do on the way back so long as you all come back in one piece and with the stuff I sent you there for. Understood?”

“Aye aye, Captain Doc! Over and out!” And there they went. The earpiece went dead, leaving 2b on his own once again once he flicked up his own mic. Back to silence. Sweet sweet silence. It wasn’t often they got that in their shared apartment of a base. Someone was always awake, someone was always saying something. It was never really quiet unless you were lucky enough to be the only one awake. 2BDamned had seen plenty of those rare times, if only because he overworked himself and didn’t sleep. So maybe it was one of his less than desirable qualities, when living in a hellscape being ten steps ahead of the agency trying to kill you is always good. He had to keep that up, on top of keeping the others alive and well.

And then there was his little experiment. That also was taking a toll on how little he slept. Not all that long ago the trio had returned from a mission with the data he had requested and more. Specifically a duffel bag full of seemingly shrunken grunts and two only slightly bigger shrunken MAGs. Pft, how funny it was to say that. A shrunken MAG. Hell, he wouldn’t believe it if you told him with no proof. The idea seemed insane. Oh but it wasn't. Not by a long shot if the cages sitting on one of his tables said anything. Normally he’d call such a thing like keeping people in cages inhumane, not that there were many humane things in this hellhole to begin with. He’d expect keeping them in cages that probably used to be for pets to be a move pulled by the Agency, not himself, however he had to make do with what they could find and had access to. Also known as: not much at all. He wanted to study them after all. Letting them free was just not an option.

Now that probably sounds bad, studying living beings like himself, but one couldn’t blame 2b when you considered his situation (at least he hopes one couldn’t). Somehow the Agency found a way to shrink living beings. That’s power that could be used against him and the others to make everything turn for the worst, something which he wanted to avoid at all costs. However, if one of his teammates or himself were to be shrunken on a mission it would be possibly lifesaving to know how to reverse the effects. Plus, having the power to shrink enemies on their side could certainly prove useful. All that being said, he needed these few alive in order to try and figure out what caused them to be how they were. Hence the repurposed, beat up pet cages. Two of them to be exact. One held the grunts and the other for the two MAG agents. None of them had killed each other yet, so that was nice. A few simple experiments and a dissection of a grunt that had been dead upon arrival to him proved that they still functioned as they would if they were their normal size. Just on a smaller scale. He had sent Hank, Deimos, and Sanford out for supplies today, yes, though if they found any information regarding the shrinking of their little ‘guests’ then they were to bring it to him. With no information on that though, he had to continue his other work. Tired eyes met the screen through red goggles. Moments later his head found itself cushioned in the crook of one of his arms.

“What the hell.” 2b grumbled, a fresh headache slowly starting to pound against the inside of his skull. What the hell was up with him? He should be fine. This was only his second day without proper ‘longer-then-15-minutes’ sleep. He’d gone longer before, he should be able to function. Why was the screen giving him such a headache now of all times? He needed to get stuff done. He needed to finish up this…this……what was he working on again? Hold on, no, he should remember. This shouldn’t be slipping his mind like it is. Maybe if he just thought back a few minutes. It would come back to him, right?

“Ok right before Deimos called, what was I doing?” 2b thought out loud to himself, trying his hardest to recall what had happened prior to the call from his allies. ”I was sitting here…then Deimos called in. Wait, no. Go back. From the top. Since…however long ago I’ve been sitting here, working on…what was I working on before Deimos asked about getting food? I sent them on the raid, didn’t eat, got to work and- no. That’s not it. Why can’t I just-“

Gggnnnnnnrrrr…

Oh well fuck him. That’s why he couldn’t focus. 2b groaned, not bothering to hide the noise as of now. He was alone, no one would hear him or tease him. Unless you would count the shrunken men in the cages, however it wasn’t likely they’d say anything. When you’re the size of a rat, spare the MAGs who were more rabbit sized, to your captor pissing them off seemed like the worst thing one could do. Clearly the hacker wasn’t at all in the mood to deal with teasing, so their mouths remained shut. That left 2b alone to deal with his complaining stomach, a feat which proved easier said than done when one was going off a day and a half without properly sleeping. He couldn’t even remember the last time he ate something. It was all just fuzzing together at this point.

Pushing himself off his desk 2b flopped back into the worn chair he’d been sitting in for God knows how long. Relaxing into the backrest was certainly more comfortable than being hunched over a laptop screen typing away like he had been for the past day or two. A hand fell to rest over his stomach while the other removed his goggles. Those were not helping the blooming headache. A low growl from his stomach drew a small hiss through his teeth, the sound being accompanied by a familiar empty cramping.

“Oh you can shut up.” He grumbled at the organ half heartedly, “It’s not like I can eat anything right now. There’s a reason I sent Hank and the others out.” His stomach growled back, the empty sound ringing in the hacker’s ears. He needed to eat, that was undeniable. The problem was getting something to eat. He had few options, none of which he particularly liked. Option 1. going out to look for something even slightly edible on his own, option 2. wait and hope the others found and brought back food, or option 3. contact the others through his headset and ask them to get him something on the way back. The first option was clearly undesirable on its own and the other two weren’t much better. Sure, asking them to grab something for him would probably be easiest and most logical, however he was almost certain that they didn’t want to hear that out of the blue in the middle of a fight. That and he didn’t want to deal with any teasing that might come along with asking. He wasn’t about to take that chance when he had things to do. He couldn’t remember those things at the moment, sure, but they were still things he had to do! So asking was not an available option at the moment. That left waiting and hoping for the best.

Rrrrrrrnnngggggg….

“I know. I don’t like the idea either.” 2b sighed as he spun around in his chair, gently patting his stomach. He needed to get out of his chair, even if it was just a walk around his room. He needed something after a day and a half straight of sitting there hunched over staring at a screen. Maybe it’d help with the headache if he was lucky. Probably wouldn’t but hey a man could dream. With a small grunt of effort the hacker found himself on his feet, his balance wobbling and legs feeling like brittle pasta beneath him. Ah, that's what I wanted to do earlier. Go figure taking breaks gets ignored by my brain. “However, I do believe it’ll end with the best result. I’m sure they’ll be home soon anyway.”

They wouldn’t. That was a lie, to himself and to his stomach alike. He likely had a few more hours alone, maybe two at least. The A.A.H.W warehouse he’d sent them to was big and if you account for fighting delays and them stopping on the way back then the chance of them being back in the next two hours would be some sort of miracle. By the way his stomach reacted every time he brushed over the thought that the trio was getting food on the way back then he wasn’t going to be looking so hot by the time they arrived back. Oh he was going to get the short end of the stick no matter what he did, wasn’t he? Talk about luck. 2b sighed, running a hand up and through his hair as he walked along one of the walls of his small room. His stomach clearly wasn’t shutting up any time soon so the next best course of action would be to ignore it. Maybe that would help him wait it out. What could he focus on? There was work, he could clean up a little bit maybe, or he could focus on the rattling coming from the cages and-

Hold on.

That most certainly wasn’t right. 2b cocked an eyebrow, crossing the room to where the three cages were placed. Quite the interesting scene was playing out before him. From what he could see a few of the shrunken grunts were teaming up to try and break out of the cages. This wasn’t their first little escape attempt, no, but it interested him enough as he stood there watching and attempting to grab his tablet at the same time. Eventually he had succeeded, opening up a new document to scribble down a few notes.

Title: Log 073SB

Time: 6:34 pm, xx/xx/xx

Author: 2BDamned

Note: Grunts working together to attempt escape. MAG agent seems to be attempting to cause a distraction by rattling the wall of the cage. Or perhaps they just want out. Very annoying either way. None seem bothered by my presence.

Satisfied with his little note, 2b closed the tablet and set it down on the counter next to one of the cages. Whether it was him being too rough with setting the tablet down or the low grumble from his stomach that startled the cage of grunts was up for debate, but currently he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Right now he needed to have a chat with the little troublemakers. Without hesitation the unofficial medic reached forward, opening the little hinged door located on top of the cage with ease compared to what the grunts inside were attempting before. He didn’t think twice before he reached in and grabbed the two topmost grunts from the pile of attempted escapees before retracting his hand, repeating the process with his other hand, and finally closing the cage. Hands now full, each holding two fighting bodies, the hacker sighed.

“Escape huh? How many times have you already tried that and it didn’t work?” 2b asked, a less than impressed tone lacing his voice. Sure, he needed a distraction from his stomach but he didn’t want to have to deal with escape attempts left and right for the next however long. “What made you think it’d go any different this time?”

There was a moment of silence before a soft voice spoke up, one that clearly hadn’t been used recently. One of the grunts in his left hand. “W-we figured i-if we actually tried and w-worked together then maybe we’d b-be able to manage a successful…e-escape…”

“Really now? Interesting.” 2b mumbled, looking over the grunt in his hand. They were all so small. You’d think he’d have gotten used to their size by now but every time he held one it seemed to slap him in the face. Offing them if they got too rowdy wouldn’t be hard at all. Wouldn’t need to use anything to begin with. How crazy it was. “Though I’m not sure I can let this slide as I have with previous instances.”

“W-what?” His response seemed to temporarily stun the four in his hands, most likely because of how it was different from his previous comments on their attempted escapes. A shiver passed over them like a wave while the hacker only nodded.

“Your previous attempts at escape. While I can understand why one would try I’ve made it quite clear that successful escapes won’t be happening nor tolerated, correct? I need to prove my point here because you all clearly don’t understand words.” He shifted on his feet slightly, a new question wracking his brain. What could he do to show he wasn’t going to deal with constant escape attempts? It had to be something that stuck, seeing as they clearly didn’t understand his earlier comments about escape not being tolerated. Only a few moments of silence passed before his lips were moving again. “You four are going somewhere else. A stronger holding space. If any of the others try anything they’ll join you. Simple, yet effective.” Or it would be if he knew exactly where he planned to stick these four. What did he have that could serve as a stronger cell for them? The cages were already pretty secure in terms of what he could work with. He just needed something stronger, close to him, hard to escape, and threatening that held a sense of danger with it. But what could that be? His eyes darted around the makeshift lab, trying to find something.

Grrrrroowwwllll…

2b’s eyes slowly scanned down from his shaking captives to his stomach. For a moment he just stared, eyes lacking any readable emotion. Well now that was certainly an option. It fit his criteria. Almost too well. Strong, hard to escape, close to him, and it held a sense of danger. Under his mask his torn and scared lips quirked up into a little smirk. “Mmhm. That’ll do quite nicely, in fact~”

The final moments of peace were shattered as the meaning of his words collided with his captives like a well aimed punch to the gut. Hearts sunk to their feet like rocks in water, despair rearing it’s head in their struggles. Those fortunate enough to remain in the cages simply watched with a muted horror as the four bodies were tossed onto the table and held down with little to no effort. The hacker wasted no time removing the mask and bandages that usually covered his mouth, tossing the fabrics haphazardly beside his discarded tablet. Despite the word fresh being the last thing he’d use to describe the Nevada air, 2b knew he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t nice to just breathe the air in alone and not through the layers of fabric like he often did. With the temporary roadblock now gone his eyes drifted downward to the bodies pinned beneath his hand.

“Well, I believe that eliminates any preventable issues we could encounter here.” He hummed softly, plucking the grunt who was covered by his hand the least up into the air. It certainly was odd to watch the little body squirm and fight against him, all attacks on the two fingers holding it proving futile. Their only hope seemed to be 2b letting them go, something which proved less and less likely the longer they studied the look in the hackers eyes. It wasn’t a look one ever wanted to find themself on the receiving end of. The sight of sharp teeth, glimmering with saliva through grinning lips, certainly did not help to lower the grunt’s heart rate at all. 2b simply clicked his tongue. “Meaning stalling time is up. Stay still, won’t you?”

The grunt did not, in fact, stay still. It was impossible to do so as far as they knew when you had a spit soaked tongue dragging up every inch of your front, sharp daggers of teeth only millimeters from their face. A deafening silence washed over the others, only being broken by a small pleased hum from their normal sized captor.

“Not bad…” the man mumbled, dragging his tongue up the squirming grunt yet again. A small voice in the back of his mind, his voice of reason, yelled out the obvious loud and clear to him plenty of times: this was wrong. It wasn’t right to be doing what he was about to do. This was stooping down to the bandits level, something he never intended to do unless absolutely necessary. He shouldn’t be enjoying the taste of another living being like this. And yet…here he was. Ignoring any logic and reason in his mind to proceed with this. Thank goodness he was alone. 2b didn’t even want to think about what the others might say if they were to see him how he was now. Shaking his head softly he shoved away the thought, opening his jaw as far as the joint and scarred tissue that made up his cheeks would allow. He wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or concerned with how easily the small body slipped into his mouth.

Despite their best efforts to squirm free of their new confinement, the slippery surroundings of the unofficial doctor’s maw proved to have horrible traction. Saliva dropped onto the unfortunate grunt’s head from above while they desperately tried to crawl out of the dark cavern. Feet scrambled on the soaked surface of their predator’s tongue as the muscle moved and flipped them around as if they were some piece of candy, all while their hands desperately tried to keep as little of them between the axe like teeth. One bite and they were done for, a terrifying thought. Through it all only three sounds were ever heard from those lucky enough to not be in the current grunt’s position. The sickening sounds of soaked struggle, terrified yelps from the grunt stuck within 2b’s jaws, and the occasional hum from the man himself. The torture, as those watching from the cage would describe it, seemed to continue for hours and hours on end.

Glk

Glp~

Until it all stopped with two simple swallows and a collective gasp of horror from those watching. The relaxed posture of the man they all watched failed to help their situation.

“H….huhh…that was..” the uncertified medic breathed, breaking the silence. His free hand lazily felt down his throat, tracing where he could feel the squirming body slip further down by the second. It didn’t take a genius to decipher that the less angry sounding gurgle from the man’s stomach signaled the end of the unfortunate grunt’s descent. With eyes widened just beyond his natural look 2b gently pressed his stomach. How interesting it was, as morbid as it might sound, to feel something squirming around inside the organ. Before he could even stop to consider a better way to word his thoughts, he finished his sentence. Just not in the way the grunts wanted to hear. “…incredibly easy.”

The last thing any of the remaining grunts wanted to see was those eyes scan up slowly before locking on them as if they were some sort of dessert. The clearly out of place smile on the man’s face didn’t help the feeling of impending doom either. If anything it only made it worse as a rough hand plucked another grunt from the selected three that had remained under his hand. Down, beneath his newfound curiosity and odd urge to continue what he was doing, 2b knew he should have been more concerned about how easy this was coming to him. No sane person would take so calmly to swallowing living beings, especially not of his own kind. Yet here he was, smirking as he licked over his scarred lips with cold eyes locked onto the small shaking body like a cat would after spotting a mouse. Looking at their sizes in comparison to one another? The simile was scarily accurate. Through his whole little mental debate the hacker found it all too easy to slip the small body into his mouth, licking it over to draw out as much of that strangely addicting taste before slowly beginning to nudge it back. Just bit by bit until it was far enough.

Glrk

Grk~

“Two down…haahhh…two to go…” the hacker sighed as he traced the lump down his throat. There was a waiting period once more but it didn’t last long before the shiver inducing gurgle signified where the poor soul had ended up. How the man hadn’t gotten sick yet was beyond the understanding of those who witnessed the event and even the man himself. Surely he should feel at least a little nauseous with two rat sized bodies squirming within his stomach. Nausea and fullness were the two sensations he had expected by now and yet neither had shown their face yet. Deep within his mind, from an area he didn’t even know existed until it spoke, a voice urged him to test his limits. 2b had shaken that idea off nearly immediately. As….enticing as that idea was, he still needed a few of the shrunken grunts alive and well to continue his attempts to recreate and reverse however the Agency had shrunken them before. Four however….well that wasn’t the biggest loss in the world if something happened to go wrong. Leaning a little more heavily over the table he grabbed one of the last two grunts, shoving the struggling body into his mouth head first. Quite the sight it was to watch flailing legs be slurped into someone’s mouth like nothing more than wet noodles. Interesting and horrifying.

Glp

Glrk~

Though compared to seeing someone who had been beside you ten minutes ago disappear down your captor’s throat as nothing more than a barely visible lump would top it in the scarring scale. Nothing could compare to that sight. Good god was it terrifying. The reality that escape was impossible was all but cemented into the remaining grunts' brains now, as that had been what had gotten their companions into this situation in the first place. This was happening because their capturer wanted to prove his point that attempted escape would not be tolerated. At this point they were convinced they’d have to have a death wish to attempt escape now. Especially when their conditions weren’t horrible compared to what they could be in, something which hadn’t crossed their minds till now. Now don’t take their words wrong, by no means did they want to stay here. Especially not now. However, if it meant living another day and not ending up as lunch? Staying definitely was the preferable option.

“One to go. Damn.” The hacker's voice snapped all attention back to him. His position had changed, now leaning back on the table as he looked over the struggling form in his hands. The words seemed to flow from his mouth without too much thought needed behind them. They just felt…right. It was a feeling he never expected to experience in such a context that he was now, much less to have it almost piloting him as it felt now, but he was nearly willing to say he welcomed it. He wasn't well acquainted with the idea of eating living beings after all, so the subconscious help to ease the process along wasn’t something he’d push away. Not unless it were to cause an issue that is. However, nothing of the sort had happened yet, meaning he was going to keep letting his actions flow naturally.

Just as he had with the three before this one, 2b wasted little time starting towards his goal. Raising the grunt just above his head the man dangled the flailing body over his open mouth, a sight that he could assume would terrify anyone in the grunt’s position. All went smoothly as he lowered the small body in. That is until the grunt, having seen an opportunity and taken it, grabbed and yanked down his mic. While he tried to react as quickly as possible, he could only pray the microphone had not managed to pick up the gag he’d made after panic and shock had caused him to jolt forward and send the grunt to the back of his throat. He flipped up the mic as fast as he could, trying to determine the best course of action one could take with a squirming body halfway down their throat and a possibility of having just been ratted out to the others by their lunch. He was screwed were they to find out, what with how at least two of the three always seemed to be looking for teasing ammunition. That and this….well this wasn’t exactly normal, you know.

“Doc? Is everything ok over there?” Fuck. That wasn’t good. Ignoring the sinking feeling of dread in his chest the best he could, 2b took a deep breath and forced the fourth grunt down with a swallow that took a little more effort then he felt it should’ve. Flipping down the mic, he answered.

“Damnit- yes. I'm fine, Sanford. Don’t worry.” The sentence had to be his least convincing lie yet. Between his heavy breathing and dryness in his throat he could tell his voice wasn’t helping him in any way. Now he didn’t take his teammates for idiots, despite how it sure seemed like they were sometimes, but in the moment he found himself wishing they were.

“You sure? You don’t sound all that fine. Did something happen back at base?” The worry beginning to lace the man’s voice through the static filled earpiece only served to worsen the feeling of dread in 2b’s chest. He needed to get Sanford, and the others who were no doubt listening, off the idea something had happened. He needed to deal with the whole I-just-swallowed-four-people-alive thing before they came back, so them returning early was not in the plan.

“No, nothing happened.” He shot back, only realizing the speed in his voice wasn’t too reassuring after he said it. Ok, what was a believable excuse for why he sounded like he did? “I just…spilt coffee on my legs after burning my mouth. Must’ve knocked the mic down in the process.” With a hand to his chest the hacker forced a soft swallow, trying to at least get rid of the uncomfortable dryness that had settled in the back of his throat. Please say they believed that.

“Pft, really? Damn, wish I could’ve seen that. Think you looked like one of those old cartoons, Doc?” Phew, crisis averted.

“Real funny, Deimos. Get back to your mission.” 2b shook his head at the comment. At least they seemed to believe him. It was worth it, even if the mental image of those over exaggerated cartoon characters was now going to show up whenever he even slightly burnt his mouth on coffee. Oh well, some sacrifices must be made.

“Alright alright. We’re going.” The man on the other end laughed. Those idiots. Damn his heart caring for them, now he was attached. “See you when we get back. Over and out, Doc!” And there they went.

Fighting off his own soft laughter, 2b flipped up his mic. A soft sigh escaped him before he could even think to stop it. That could’ve been horrible. While one hand softly rubbed at his neck, sore from what he had to guess was the miniature disaster that just took place, the other gently laid itself over his stomach. The four inside never seemed to stop moving, constantly squirming and slipping about. There were a handful of reasons he could assume was the cause, though the most likely was that being shoved into a soaking wet moving sack with three of your colleagues provided little traction or ability to get comfortable. That and panic. Panic was probably a rather big factor in how they were feeling. 2b, on the other hand, had to be feeling the exact opposite of how they were. The warm weight of his four ‘victims’ was a welcome sensation within the previously empty pit of his stomach. As twisted as he knew it sounded, he would’ve been confident saying that what he was feeling was honestly satisfactory. Why having living beings stretch and actually round out his stomach in a barely noticeable way was causing this feeling was a mystery to him, but at the moment he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not when it felt this nice.

“I hope I’ve made my point clear.” The unofficial medic hummed, looking over to the grunt filled cage. They had backed away from him by now, huddled in the back most corner of their confines. The sight drew a genuine laugh from the man they all seemed to fear ten times more than before. Well that was proof if he’d ever seen it. Looks like their escape wasn’t something he had to worry about any more. So maybe he sacrificed a little of his ‘I’m not going to hurt you’ act for this. It was worth it in his eyes. And besides, he was probably the most gentle with them out of his whole little gang. If they wanted to be left with one of the others then go ahead. Although being left with the mercenary who you were created to kill didn’t sound like the most fun time to him. Smirking, he collected his goggles, mask, and tablet from the table. “It seems I have. Glad we could have this little -hic!- chat. Heh.”

He gave the cage a pat, the rattling of the metal only serving to scare the grunts further back in the ball of bodies they’d curled into, before turning to walk back to his desk. He needed to sit down. Standing apparently became a lot harder when you had four people fighting against your insides. Thinking back, he didn’t know what he would have expected. Did he stumble a little bit trying to get back to his desk? Yes, he did. It was like he forgot how to walk in all honesty. Another reason he was glad he was alone in their base. Like most things though it proved worth it when he finally collapsed into the worn chair he used for work. Without thinking twice he opened his tablet and started a new log.

—————————

“Doc! We’re back!” The call rang out through the appartement, followed by three sets of footsteps marching their way in and the door slamming shut perhaps a little stronger than needed. As the hinges of the door stopped rattling the three expected to hear a displeased groan, followed by the ruffled form of 2b appearing in the hallway to scold them for being so aggressive or something like tracking blood into the base. Honestly, why he still bothered was a mystery to them, at least Sanford and Deimos for they had zero clue what went on in Hank’s head, for the most part. They were mercenaries, fighters, people looking to not end up with their brains splattered on the wall or something worse. They were going to be bloody upon returning, even if that blood wasn’t their own. It wasn’t like their floors were carpet or anything either. In the end though they never bothered to fight the scoldings. No use making the unofficial medic mad, especially if they needed help. The lack of disgruntled medic in the hallway or at least yelling when silence returned to the room was worrying. After a minute or two with nothing spoken and no ruffled hacker to be seen, Deimos tried again to call him.

“2b?” He called out, peering down the hallway which led to their rooms. There wasn’t any blood on the walls, a good sign to start, and no bullet holes that weren’t there before. Unless the Agency suddenly learned how to do stealth missions, something he and he knew the other two were hoping wasn’t the case, he had hopes. Again, no response from the man. Gun still in his hand he took one glance back to the others, a silent ‘follow me’, before continuing down the hallway. Although Deimos had made it to the closed door first he’d been pushed past by the red goggle wearing giant as he reached for the doorknob. Hank had been the one to open the door to 2b’s room. He’d also been the first of the trio to feel the tension in his shoulders drop. It wasn’t long after he had relaxed that he was shoved into the room by two bodies trying to get in and see any damage that could’ve been done while they were gone. The sight of 2BDamned softly snoring away in his chair, nothing in the room seeming out of place, was most certainly a welcome one.

“Ah. So that’s why he isn’t barking us up a tree for your entrance, Dei.” Sanford hummed with a laugh, careful to watch his volume. If there was one thing he didn’t want to deal with after their mission it was a cranky Doc who got woken up by them. It wasn’t a secret he didn’t necessarily sleep after all and there was no way he could survive off coffee like he seemed to silently claim he could sometimes. They all had times when their sleep schedules were fucked.

“Oh shut up, ‘Ford.” Deimos shot back with a playful punch to the man’s bicep. “It’s not like I’m the one who slammed the door. That’s what he would’ve been on our asses about.”

“You slammed it open then yelled loud enough for all of Nevada to hear you. Don’t act like you’re innocent!”

As the two’s words morphed into friendly bickering Hank took it upon himself to deliver the bit of what they got that couldn’t stay in the duffle bag slung over his shoulder at the moment. Buried in the pocket of his jacket was a small object. Something he hadn’t expected to find, but had snagged nonetheless when it had been pointed out by Deimos. For a second as he walked over to the man a rough hand dug around fabric, fingers gripping plastic as he arrived at his destination. Without thinking he tossed the USB onto the hacker’s desk, eyes wandering over small things like the empty coffee mug or discarded goggles. Behind red-tinted goggles they landed on the man’s tablet, the screen now illuminated thanks to what he could assume had been the small drive hitting the desk. Prying wasn’t something he often did when it came to his teammates, respecting their privacy as they often did his, but after a certain word caught his eye he couldn’t help but read the log that had popped up.

Title: Experiment 05SB

Time: 7:42 pm, xx/xx/xx

Author: 2BDamned

Note: I…cannot believe I’m about to write this. This is update one of Experiment 05SB, an experiment started without much if any bit of a proper plan behind it. Phase I, I suppose you could call it, was a success. The shrunken grunts are, in fact, small enough to swallow whole and…alive. MAGs have not yet been confirmed to be the same way, though I’m sure that answer will show itself one day. I am unsure why I am able to keep four of them down without feeling nauseated, but I can. I will update at a later time when more information has presented itself.

The log ended there, eyes falling away from the screen as Hank’s mind worked to process the information it had just been given. According to what had been written before the man had fallen victim to sleep, it was not only possible to swallow the shrunken beings sitting in one of the cages behind him, but the unofficial doctor had done it himself. Four times to be exact. Curiosity grabbed control of his eyes, slowly panning them up to the cage of grunts who looked noticeably more terrified than they usually did. Had they seen the whole thing go down? His mind continued to wander, finding new questions like how on earth the hacker had managed to keep living and no doubt moving beings down like the log said he did. That is unless he’d spit them up before falling asleep. However that seemed highly unlikely-

“Snooping around Doc’s stuff, are we Hank~?” When Deimos had appeared behind him was beyond the mercenary, though the shock of hearing his voice out of the blue was enough to startle him into quickly powering off 2b’s tablet and whipping around to face the two that now stood across with him with far too smug looks on their faces for his liking.

“Woah there, big guy! We didn’t mean any trouble.” Sanford cooed, the fucking Chad cooed, holding his hands up as if he was under some sort of arrest. “Just wanted to know what you were reading over here is all~.”

“Yeah, exactly. I never expected to find you clicking through Doc’s diary.” Deimos added on nearly flawlessly. Sometimes he really hated how well they worked together. Namely when it was against him. “So, was it a love confession~?”

Hank sighed, glaring at the two through his goggles. He sure fucking hoped they could see the look on his face, despite most of it being covered by bandages and his mask. Because he was not amused and he wanted them to know it.

“No, not a love confession, you morons.” He groaned, shaking his head. Telling them straight off what it said would probably be horrible. At the moment he was still having a few difficulties understanding parts of what he read. Lying just seemed like the best choice overall. It wasn’t like he’d be the only one doing so, after all. It sure seemed like 2b did to them over the mic. Speaking of the man, Hank turned around to take a good look at him. At first glance he seemed like he normally did when he passed out in his chair from overworking himself like this. It was only when Hank took an extra second to look and let the information in his brain guide him did he see the slightly out of place softness around the sleeping hacker’s stomach. Unable to help himself Hank felt his ruined remaining lip quirk up into a small smirk under his mask as he turned around to shove the Dumbass Duo out of the room so 2b could sleep.

“Bunch’a nonsense, is all. Now move. I don’t wanna deal with him if you idiots wake him up and we still have shit to put away.”

#soft vore #mawedness combat #hahaha finally! #I’ve been waiting to use that tag #implied fatal #oopsie #it’s no named character so I guess it’s not bad #I mean this is in the M4dc0m universe so don’t expect my works with these fuckers to be as sunshine as some of my N3ws¡3s ones were #2b I do hope you won’t hate me for this if you can see it

[bisexualbuckleyy]

the 911 fandom and female love interests: a controversial hot take

here is my hot take of the day that will probably piss off a lot of people but it’s just my opinion on how the fandom has reacted to female love interests for buck and eddie, specifically ana, and how members of the fandom have been reacting to those reactions.

i’ve seen a lot of posts saying stuff like “you only dislike ana because she’s coming in between buddie” and i’m here to say: so what?

now, i would like to preface this by saying i don’t dislike ana as a character and have a massive crush on gabrielle walsh, but to be completely honest i don’t have much of an opinion on ana except for that i think she’s pretty and i don’t like her and eddie together.

do you want to know why? because she does not have a personality outside of her relationship with eddie and her connection to christopher. there is literally not enough information about her as a character to even develop a strong opinion on her. the only substance we have that we can develop a strong opinion on is how she impacts the main characters.

here is a list of the things we know about ana:

she was christopher’s english teacher

she’s latina

she has a family member named edmundo

she told eddie that christopher has limitations and that there are things he won’t be able to do

she got her doctorate and is now a vice principal

she’s a good cook

she’s dating eddie

that is the extent of what we know about ana flores. is any of that worthy of hating her? no. but is any of it worthy of being really emotionally invested in her? also no.

now here is a list of things that have happened with other characters as a result of ana flores:

christopher fell off the skateboard (not directly her fault but it was made very clear that eddie blamed her and yelled at her about it)

christopher got mad at eddie (on two separate occasions)

eddie didn’t notice his own son sneaking out of the house

eddie acted like a completely different character for an entire episode

don’t get me wrong, i think she’s had some good impacts too, but those are the things that the story has highlighted. not to mention the fact that eddie now has a canon significant other and it is less likely that buddie will become canon any time soon.

now, are any of those things worthy of hating her? no, mostly because the majority of those things were not her fault, but the way that the storylines were written, they were directly connected to her influence and presence in the story as either christopher’s teacher or eddie’s girlfriend.

the fact of the matter is that ana has gotten zero development as a character and currently has very little substance outside of being eddie’s girlfriend. and this is not a new thing that the writers have done. see: ali.

ali is introduced not as a love interest but as an emergency victim. we see her interact with buck and eddie for two episodes, don’t see her for six episodes, then see her in the last episode of the season only for her and buck to break up. her sole purpose as a character was to be buck’s girlfriend for half a season and then break up with him.

here are the things we know about ali:

she designs hotels (i think? something like that)

her boss sexually harassed her

she was trapped in a high rise during an earthquake with buck and eddie

she dated buck for an unknown amount of time

she travels a lot for work

she helped buck find an apartment

she broke up with buck after his leg got crushed by the ladder truck

none of those things really merit any kind of a strong opinion on her. i don’t even think she was mentioned for the majority of season 2B unless it was plot relevant that buck had a girlfriend.

love interests that are not main characters are not well developed characters because they don’t need to be. they’re not people, they’re plot devices for main characters to develop or for storylines to progress in a certain way.

look at the actual well developed romances on the show: bathena, madney, henren, even buck and abby although it was just one season. all of these relationships are between two main characters or a main character and a prominent supporting character. henren slightly less so, but they’re established as a couple at the beginning of the show and get their fair share of storylines, so they still have development.

it’s very difficult to be invested in a relationship between a complex well developed character and a fairly one dimensional undeveloped or under developed character, and it’s also difficult to be invested in a character that has a very one dimensional personality.

ana has basically no flaws outside of the skateboarding incident, so what else would people be disliking her for if not for that she’s coming in between buddie? and if people are disliking her for coming in between buddie, then that’s completely valid. i’m very emotionally invested in buddie and really want them to become a couple, so i’m kind of annoyed that they’re bringing in a female character who has no personality except ‘love interest’ and making her be eddie’s girlfriend.

now, i’m not saying that means it’s totally okay to say “ana is a horrible person and i hate her because she’s coming in between my ship” because all evidence points to her not being a horrible person and it’s definitely not okay to say that. but it is completely valid to say “i really don’t like this character being on the show because they’re not developed and are coming between a ship that i’m very passionate about” and that doesn’t make you sexist or racist or whatever else people are saying, as long as that’s genuinely why you don’t like her.

these are fictional characters, not real people, and it’s valid to not like a fictional character because they’re preventing a storyline from happening that you really want to happen.

most importantly: THIS DOES NOT GIVE YOU ANY RIGHT TO ATTACK GABRIELLE WALSH. she is not a writer on the show, she did not write ana this way, she did not choose to have ana be eddie’s girlfriend, she is not the reason why buddie is not together. she is an actress who was hired to play a role and she is doing an amazing job with what she has been given. if you’re going to dislike any real people, dislike the writers because they’re the ones who are writing the story this way.

to sum up a ridiculously long post: if you love ana flores, great! if you hope her and eddie are endgame and have a very long and happy relationship, then you do you. if you’re kinda eh on ana and don’t feel strongly either way, that’s totally fine! if you really don’t like ana, that’s also totally fine! if you like ana as a character and think she has potential but you don’t like her and eddie together, awesome! if you’re secretly praying for lena to come back and for her and ana to be girlfriends (like me), then please come talk to me because i would be so here for that.

you are entitled to your own opinion, but that does not give you the right to insult other people or call them names for their opinions or to harass the actress who is just doing her job. respect other people’s feelings and decisions and remember that these are fictional characters whose sole purpose is to create an interesting and entertaining story, and if you dislike a character because you feel like they’re getting in the way of an interesting and entertaining story, you’re 100% entitled to that.

so please, stop attacking other people for their opinions and for the love of god, do not attack the actors. thank you for coming to my ted talk feel free to send me pictures of gabrielle walsh or scream at me about 911 whenever you want!

#i’m definitely gonna get shit for this #i spent a long time writing this and it’s probably incomprehensible but i hope it makes sense #911 #911 fox #ana flores #buddie #ali 911 #eddie diaz #evan buckley #ana x eddie #eddie x ana

[gilly-bj]

Many in our fandom have already noticed the parallels between Rivamika and Violet and Gilbert from Violet Evergarden (Beautiful anime, watch it if you haven’t already); on Instagram, RM fanpages have talked about this, but I’ve noticed that unfortunately, here on Tumblr, this interesting topic is getting quite ignored. In this post, we’re talking about all the similarities between Gilbert x Violet and Levi x Mikasa.

(Please don’t spoil anything about Violet Evergarden in the comments; let’s respect who hasn’t watch it yet)

Before getting into the parallels related to their relationships, let’s analyze the ones related to the physical appearance/personality (and more) between the couples and their respective members.

Mikasa and Violet share the same Japanese voice actor, that is Yui Ishikawa (She’s also the voice actor of 2B from NieR Automata and Tsukasa Taira from Devils line. Speaking of Devils Line, the main character, Yuuki Anzai, looks like a potential Rivamika son; in fact, he has seems a cold man, like Mikasa and Levi, but he’s really caring, especially towards his loved one (Tsukasa) It’s a great anime, watch it if you haven’t already), and they seem heartless and emotionless on first impression. Levi and Gilbert have both lost their right eye and they have prominent scars on their face. They are reserved men that don’t usually show their emotions and they are both (respectively), Mikasa and Violet’s superiors. Gilbert met Violet for the first time when she was a child, and the age difference between the two is about 15 years (Gilbert is 29; Violet is 14), the same as Rivamika’s.

Violet was always seen by everyone as a weapon, the only one who saw her as a human was Gilbert, that slowly fell in love with her and tried to protect her. The first parallel we find with Rivamika is that both Gilbert and Levi saw something else in the girls. I doubt that many in the scouts were interested in Mikasa’s personality, probably for everyone she was just an heartless and cold girl. She doesn’t seem friendly and many feared her, so she was ignored by the soldiers (that’s why she hasn’t got many friends). Her soldier abilities were recognized by everyone though, so logically, Mikasa was probably immediately liked with her strength and not with her personality. Levi has always understood Mikasa since their first meeting; I think he knows that they are similar and that she isn’t just a strong soldier; she is a human with her qualities, flaws and weak spots, like Levi. In a few words, since she’s similar to him he understands her personality so he doesn’t see her just as the girl worth 100 soldiers. Another parallel: Levi has always protected Mikasa, he has always cared about her well-being, physical and mental.

Notice that: Eren’s words “Fight!” again are referred to Mikasa’s strength. To me, Mikasa is just a girl who was forced to be a strong soldier; we know she wants her family and in the past Isayama stated that she will return the happy girl she was in her childhood (yeah I see). I don’t think she likes violence. Eren has become a very violent person (killing 80% of the population yeyy), and instead our baby Levi probably has understood that violence is never the right choice.

Anyway, Gilbert confessed to Violet his feelings on the verge of death; the girl didn’t know what “I love you” means, so she gave her best to understand the meaning behind those three words. I personally think that Mikasa doesn’t really know how it feels to be loved by a real man; surely, what “Eren” felt for her wasn’t real love and even if it was, which is ridiculous, he didn’t put that much effort in showing those “feelings”, since the way he treats her is not how I treat my boyfriend/crush. Even if she’s 23, Mikasa has no experience with relationships, at all; she’s single and she never had a boyfriend. She needs a real man; someone that loves her and can make her happy, not a fucking bird. The bird can’t give her what she wants never thought I would have said these words lmao. She needs someone that she can love and can make her feel loved, and I know who perfectly fits these standards. Levi

But Gilbert wanted Violet to be free and independent, and that’s exactly what Levi wants for Mikasa; only with Levi, in 4 seasons, Mikasa was free do to things her own way. He trusts her, that’s why he doesn’t ask her the reason behind her decisions, he respects what she decides to do. Probably, Levi wouldn’t like to see Mikasa sitting next to Eren’s grave, crying and hoping to see the clown again (remember “I hate weaks). He knows what’s the best for her, and most importantly, he cares for her, he really does, and that’s why he will help Mikasa if she gives him the possibility to do that. Levi is coming back to her, and he won’t leave Paradise without her.

Ahh, this analysis was difficult. Logic plays a big part in RM, especially because things with this ship are never obvious. Anyway, I hope you liked my analysis. I apologize since I haven’t been active during this month, sorry. It has been a busy month and I haven’t had much free time, I hope that i will be able to post more on May 💜💜💜

#gilly bj #rivamika

[wisteriabookss]

Why Nesta Stans Stan Nesta: For The People Who Don’t Get It.

I think one of the biggest misunderstandings towards Nesta fans is that we don’t acknowledge or understand that she emotionally, mentally, and verbally abused Feyre. We know. We very much know. And if you come across a fan who doesn’t, then please educate them! I’m not afraid to say that this past week I was educated on this as well. 

I think a lot of anti-nesta’s focus on Nesta in ACOTAR, whereas Nesta stans see the progression of her character throughout all three books. Nesta stans see her potential to grow, learn, and change. This in no way makes her past actions excusable. Nothing can do that. But clinging to the idea that someone isn’t able to evolve will cause more harm than good, especially in cases like Nesta’s where they have shown they have the ability to evolve (examples coming later in the post).

Not all abusers can learn from their mistakes; some are just too far gone and don’t see their actions as wrong. But some can, and I believe Nesta is one of those who can. My reason for this belief comes from reading ACOWAR.

1.) Nesta holds herself back from saying something insulting to Mor after she says something in a rude tone to her, and instead approaches Feyre. This shows that a) She’s learning to hold her tongue instead of saying something stupid, and b) She says something nice to Feyre, which she wouldn’t have done two books ago. I’m not saying her being nice to Feyre makes up for how she acted towards her before, but the point is to show that Nesta is now uplifting Feyre instead of tearing her down.

“Where is he?”

“Who?” Rhys crooned.

“Cassian.”

I didn’t think I’d ever heard his name from her lips. Cassian had always been him or that one. And Nesta had been … pacing in the foyer.

As if she was worried.

I opened my mouth, but Mor beat me to it. “He’s busy.”

I’d never heard her voice so … sharp. Icy.

Nesta held Mor’s stare. Her jaw tightened, then relaxed, then tightened—as if fighting some battle to keep questions in. Mor didn’t drop her gaze.

. . . . .

“Mor was watching both carefully—the warning she’d given my sister ringing silently between them. And Nesta, Mother damn it all, seemed to remember. Seemed to rein in whatever words she’d been about to spit and just approached me.

And nearly made my heart stop dead with shock as she said, “You look beautiful.”

2.) Nesta didn’t know Feyre couldn’t read, so if I see one more post using “Nesta didn’t teach Feyre how to read,” as another example of how Nesta abused her, I’ll scream. There are a lot of other examples to show her abuse, but not this one. Nesta clearly wanted to teach Feyre how to read if she knew she couldn’t. 

“I didn’t know you couldn’t really read,” Nesta said as she paused before a nondescript section, noticing the way I silently sounded out the words of a title. “I didn’t know where you were in your lessons—when it all happened. I assumed you could read as easily as us.”

“Well, I couldn’t.”

“Why didn’t you ask us to teach you?”

I trailed a finger over the neat row of spines. “Because I doubted you would agree to help.”

Nesta stiffened like I’d hit her, coldness blooming in those eyes. She tugged a book from a shelf. “Amren said Rhysand taught you to read.”

My cheeks heated. “He did.” And there, deep beneath the world, with only darkness for company, I asked, “Why do you push everyone away but Elain?” Why have you always pushed me away?

Some emotion guttered in her eyes. Her throat bobbed. Nesta shut her eyes for a moment, breathing in sharply. “Because—”

2b) The reason why I highlighted the last part is because I think Nesta is showing shame here. I think she is ashamed of what she did, and she can’t be ashamed of her actions unless she knows her actions were wrong. Like I said up top, an abuser who can’t change is one who doesn’t see their actions as wrong; Nesta sees her actions as wrong.

3.) When they’re running from the Ravens the King of Hybern sent to kidnap Nesta, we see a moment of trust between the sisters that I don’t think we’ve ever seen anywhere else in the entire series. I love this because it highlights their growing trust in one another.

“I gripped Nesta’s fingers in my free hand. She glanced at me.

I need you to trust me, I tried to convey to her.

Nesta read the emotion in my eyes—and gave the barest dip of her chin.”

4.) In that cabin, Nesta basically left Feyre to fend for herself. In this excerpt of them escaping the Ravens, you see Nesta not wanting to leave Feyre. 

“Run toward the light,” I breathed to Nesta. “I’ll hold them off.”

“No.”

. . . . . 

We didn’t have time—for whatever was down here to find us. We didn’t have time—

“Run,” I breathed. “Please.”

She hesitated.

“Please,” I begged her, my voice breaking.”

5.) So many people try to shit on Nesta for trying to cross the wall but not actually crossing it because she couldn’t find a hole, which I think is so stupid cause it’s not her fault if she couldn’t find one. You can tell from this quote that even the simple act of trying meant the world to Feyre, so I hate it when people try to diminish what she did.

“Rhys stared her down. But Nesta looked to me—and I could have sworn fear shone there, and guilt and … some other feeling. “You told me to run.”

“You’re my sister,” was all I said. She’d once tried to cross the wall to save me.”

5b) An extra scene from ACOTAR to show ya’ll just how much this meant to Feyre:

“My hands slackened at my sides. “You went after me,” I said. “You went after me—to Prythian.”

“I got to the wall. I couldn’t find a way through.”

I raised a shaking hand to my throat. “You trekked two days there and two days back—through the winter woods?”

She shrugged, looking at the sliver she’d pried from the table. “I hired that mercenary from town to bring me a week after you were taken. With the money from your pelt. She was the only one who seemed like she would believe me.”

“You did that—for me?”

Nesta’s eyes—my eyes, our mother’s eyes—met mine. “It wasn’t right,” she said again. Tamlin had been wrong when we’d discussed whether my father would have ever come after me—he didn’t possess the courage, the anger. If anything, he would have hired someone to do it for him. But Nesta had gone with that mercenary. My hateful, cold sister had been willing to brave Prythian to rescue me.

“What happened to Tomas Mandray?” I asked, the words strangled.

“I realized he wouldn’t have gone with me to save you from Prythian.”

And for her, with that raging, unrelenting heart, it would have been a line in the sand.

I looked at my sister, really looked at her, at this woman who couldn’t stomach the sycophants who now surrounded her, who had never spent a day in the forest but had gone into wolf territory … Who had shrouded the loss of our mother, then our downfall, in icy rage and bitterness, because the anger had been a lifeline, the cruelty a release. But she had cared—beneath it, she had cared, and perhaps loved more fiercely than I could comprehend, more deeply and loyally. “Tomas never deserved you anyway,” I said softly.

My sister didn’t smile, but a light shone in her blue-gray eyes. “Tell me everything that happened,” she said—an order, not a request.

So I did.

And when I finished my story, Nesta merely stared at me for a long while before asking me to teach her how to paint.”

5c) Remember how in the beginning of ACOTAR Nesta insulted Feyre’s paintings? A couple hundred pages later she just asked Feyre to teach her. Nesta was already progressing (albeit at a snails pace I know) in ACOTAR, before anything had really happened.

6.) Back to ACOWAR, in this excerpt Nesta is asking Feyre why she didn’t hesitate going into the Battle of Adriata. I think the reason Nesta asks this question is because in the cabin, Nesta thought Feyre was trying to help their family in order to gain power over them, rather than an act of selflessness. It forces Nesta to think about her actions in the past, and, in the hopes of doing better, she decides to go to the High Lords meeting with them to fight alongside them. Feyre’s selflessness inspired Nesta to do better, and Nesta took the opportunity to do so. This is growth.

“Nesta only spoke when I rose to my feet. “You’re going to that meeting in two days.”

“Yes.”

I braced myself for whatever she intended to say.

Nesta glanced toward the front windows, as if still waiting, still watching.

“You went off into battle. Without a second thought. Why?”

“Because I had to. Because people needed help.”

Her blue-gray eyes were near-silver in the trickle of morning light. But Nesta said nothing else, and after waiting for another moment, I left, winnowing up to the House for my flying lesson with Azriel.”

. . . . .

“I felt Cassian’s attention slide to us, felt them all look as Nesta said, “I’m going with you.”

No one said anything.

Nesta only lifted her chin. “I …” I’d never seen her stumble for words. “I do not want to be remembered as a coward.”

“No one would say that,” I offered quietly.

“I would.” Nesta surveyed us all, her gaze jumping past Cassian. Not to slight him, but … avoid answering the look he was giving her. Approval—more. “It was some distant thing,” she said. “War. Battle. It … it’s not anymore. I will help, if I can. If it means … telling them what happened.”

“You’ve given enough,” I said, my dress rustling as I braved a solitary step toward her. “Amren claimed you were close to mastering whatever skill you need. You should stay—focus on that.”

“No.” The word was steady, clear. “A day or two delay with my training won’t make any difference. Perhaps by the time we return, Amren will have decoded that spell in the Book.” She shrugged with a shoulder. “You went off to battle for a court you barely know—who barely see you as friends. Amren showed me the blood ruby. And when I asked you why … you said because it was the right thing. People needed help.” Her throat bobbed. “No one is going to fight to save the humans beneath the wall. No one cares. But I do.” She toyed with a fold in her dress. “I do.”

7.) In front of the entire IC and all the High Lords, Nesta makes it clear that she wouldn’t have survived those years in the cabin without her sister. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the first time she’s ever even acknowledged or spoken about it.

“She looked to Kallias and Viviane. “I am sorry for the loss of those children. The loss of one is abhorrent.” She shook her head. “But beneath the wall, I witnessed children—entire families—starve to death.” She jerked her chin at me. “Were it not for my sister … I would be among them.”

My eyes burned, but I blinked it away.”

8.) When Nesta senses something wrong at the High Lords meeting, she comes so close to saying she cares for Feyre, and cares for her safety. Cause really, the only person there who she would admit to caring about would be her sister (I know Cassian is there but she wouldn’t have admitted that lets be honest lmao). Also, in the first book Nesta was very selfish and only cared (outwardly) about herself and Elain. We see her being selfless here. 

“Something is wrong,” Nesta insisted.

“I’m not doubting you feel that way but … If none of the others are picking it up—”

“I am not like the others.” Her throat bobbed. “We need to leave.”

“I can send you back to Velaris, but we have things to discuss here—”

“I don’t care about me, I—”

9.) Book one Nesta wouldn’t pick up a pinky to help anyone or anything, but in ACOWAR she basically becomes a medic. She gets her hand dirty.

“No, Nesta only made sure that Elain was dozing in her tent, and then offered to help cut up linen for bandages.”

. . . . .

“How do I fix it?” she asked. Her hair had been tied in a loose knot atop her head earlier in the day, and in the hours that we’d worked to ready and distribute supplies to the healers, through the heat and humidity, stray tendrils had come free to curl about her temple, her nape. Faint color had stained her cheeks from the sun, and her forearms, bare beneath the sleeves she’d rolled up, were flecked with mud.

. . . . .

“I helped with the wounded long into the night, Mor and Nesta working alongside me.“

10.) When Nesta was pacing outside of the tent waiting to hear about Cassian’s condition, Mor attacks her again for literally caring about his well being. And Nesta, again, bites her tongue, says nothing, and walks away. I’m currently working on another post that goes in depth about the relationship between Nesta and Mor, but the point of this excerpt is to highlight how Nesta’s immediate response is to no longer bite back when someone comes after her. That being cold and bitchy all the time isn’t worth it (although I do think Nesta would be in the right here to say something back if she wanted to).

“I squinted at the watery light—the very last before true dark. When my vision adjusted … Nesta stood by the nearest tent, an empty water bucket between her feet. Her hair a damp mess atop her mud-flecked head. Watching us emerge, grim-faced—

“He’s fine. Healed and awake,” I said quickly.

Nesta’s shoulders sagged a bit.

She’d saved me the trouble of hunting her down to ask her about tracking the Cauldron. Better to do it now, with some privacy. Especially before Amren arrived.

But Mor said coldly, “Shouldn’t you be refilling that bucket?”

Nesta went stiff. Sized up Mor. But Mor didn’t flinch from that look.

After a moment, Nesta picked up her bucket, mud caked up to her shins, and continued on, steps squelching.” 

11.) When the sisters slept beside each other after Elain was saved, Feyre points out how different they sleep now. Instead of fighting with one another over the space, they held onto each other. This symbolizes their growing togetherness and how before, they were against each other, and now, they’re a team.

“A moment later, another warm body nestled on my left. Nesta’s scent drifted over me, fire and steel and unbending will.

Distantly, I heard Rhys usher everyone out—to join him in checking on Azriel, now under Thesan’s care.

I didn’t know how long my sisters and I lay there together, just like we had once shared that carved bed in that dilapidated cottage. Then—back then, we had kicked and twisted and fought for any bit of space, any breathing room.

But that morning, as the sun rose over the world, we held tight. And did not let go.”

12.) Nesta tells them to use her as bait to get the King of Hybern away from the cauldron. Literally a suicide mission. Probably the most selfless act she’s done this entire series.

Nesta stared toward that armada, toward our father fighting in it. “Use me. As bait.”

I blinked at the same moment Cassian said, “No.”

Nesta ignored him. “The king is probably waiting beside that Cauldron. Even if you get there, you’ll have him to contend with. Draw him out. Draw him far away. To me.”

13.) Nesta doesn’t stop fighting the King of Hybern after already spending all her power trying to do so. She starts to lure him away from Cassiand and the cauldron in order to buy Feyre more time.

“Nesta rushed to him, kneeling.

Not to comfort.

But to pick up his Illyrian blade.

Cassian tried to stop her as she stood. As Nesta lifted that sword before the King of Hybern.

She said nothing. Only held her ground.

The king chuckled and angled his own blade. “Shall I see what the Illyrians taught you?”

He was upon her before she could lift the sword higher.

Nesta jumped back, clipping his sword with her own, eyes flaring wide. The king lunged again, and Nesta again dodged and retreated through the trees.

Leading him away—away from Cassian.

She managed to draw him another few feet before the king grew bored.

In two movements, he had her disarmed. In another, he struck her across the face, so hard she went down.

Cassian cried out her name, trying again to crawl to her.

The king only sheathed his sword, towering over her as she pushed off the ground. “Well? What else do you have?”

Nesta turned over, and threw out a hand.

White, burning power shot out of her palm and slammed into his chest.

A ploy. To get him close. To lower his guard.

Her power sent him flying back, trees snapping under him. One after another after another.

The Cauldron seemed to settle. All that was left—that was it. All that was left of her power.”

14.) Do I even have to say it?

“Nesta surged to her feet, staggering across the clearing, blood at her mouth from where he’d hit her, and threw herself to her knees before Cassian. “Get up,” she sobbed, hauling at his shoulder. “Get up.”

He tried—and failed.

“You’re too heavy,” she pleaded, but still tried to raise him, fingers scrabbling in his black, bloodied armor. “I can’t—he’s coming—”

“Go,” Cassian groaned.

Her power had stopped hurling the king across the forest. He now stalked toward them, brushing off splinters and leaves from his jacket—taking his time. Knowing she would not leave. Savoring the awaiting slaughter.

Nesta gritted her teeth, trying to haul Cassian up once more. A broken sound of pain ripped from him. “Go! ” he barked at her.

“I can’t,” she breathed, voice breaking. “I can’t.”

The same words Rhys had given him.

Cassian grunted in pain, but lifted his bloodied hands—to cup her face. “I have no regrets in my life, but this.” His voice shook with every word. “That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.”

She didn’t stop him as he leaned up and kissed her—lightly. As much as he could manage.

Cassian said softly, brushing away the tear that streaked down her face, “I will find you again in the next world—the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.”

The King of Hybern stepped into that clearing, dark power wafting from his fingertips.

And even the Cauldron seemed to pause in surprise—surprise or some … feeling as Nesta looked at the king with death twining around his hands, then down at Cassian.

And covered Cassian’s body with her own.

Cassian went still—then his hand slid over her back.

Together. They’d go together.

I will offer you a bargain, I said to the Cauldron. I will offer you my soul. Save them.

“Romantic,” the king said, “but ill-advised.”

Nesta did not move from where she shielded Cassian’s body.”

15.) Nesta killed the King of Hybern. Killed their biggest foe, the person who was going to rip apart their entire world. I know Elain stabbed him, but as she herself put it:

“Elain fell into step beside me, peering at Lucien. He noticed it. “I heard you made the killing blow,” he said.

Elain studied the trees ahead. “Nesta did. I just stabbed him.”

16.) And finally, Nesta walks in side by side with Feyre into the treaty meeting. This also symbolizes the bond they’ve been forming with each other, that goes beyond just sisterhood.

“I offered my hand to my sister. “I want you here for this. With me.”

Nesta considered that outstretched hand. For a moment, I thought she’d walk away.

But she slid her hand into mine, and together we walked into that room crammed with humans and Fae. Both parts of this world. All parts of this world.”

All these examples show a different Nesta than the Nesta in book one. She has become selfless, more aware of her own actions, and grown up. 

To close this out, it was so painful reading ACOFAS because of the regression of Nesta and Feyre’s relationship when they were going down such a good path. I think the reason why SJM made Nesta go down an even darker hole than Feyre (not trauma wise, I’m not comparing the two, but recovery wise) is because she wanted to show another example of how trauma can have an effect on people. 

All of the IC are still healing, but they’re all healing relatively the same way, ie. surrounding themselves with each other and going about business as usual. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, if it works for them then thats amazing. 

But it’s disappointing when I read people vilify Nesta for not healing the same way, and not wanting to interact with the IC, or for distancing herself from her sisters. Like, it’s obvious she’s hurting, and I don’t even think she knows how to heal herself or knows what to do. People who are severely depressed don’t know how to get out of it, so calling her a bitch for not wanting their help is so tone deaf and narrow minded. No one is a terrible person for pushing people away. The girl has just literally become a shell of herself.

When people say Nesta stans are “glorifying abuse” because they like Nesta, it’s sad because they really just relate to Nesta’s depression. They relate to her feeling devoid of feeling, and relate to how she pushes those closest to her away because she doesn’t know how to deal with her pain. Most importantly, they saw all of the examples I listed when reading, and saw Nesta growing and evolving, and they want to see her become a better person. They want to see her fight and confront her own demons. 

It’s not about discarding her abusive behavior. It’s about confronting it and hoping she learns and grows from it.

#nesta #nesta archeron #acotar #acowar #a court of thorns and roses #feyre #acosf #a court of silver flames #sjm

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About “The Second Temple”/”Barrel’s Warhammer” from Amphibia

Salutations random people of the internet! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

As some of you might know, I wrote a review called "Why I (Want to) Love Amphibia." The short version is that while I enjoy parts of it, I won't go so far as to say I'm obsessed with Amphibia as I am with other Disney hits like Gravity Falls or The Owl House. However, the two latest episodes, "The Second Temple" and "Barrel's Warhammer," do a lot to fix two issues I have with the series: Anne's character and Sasha's road to redemption. 

(Spoilers Ahead)

My biggest issue with Anne is that I cannot pinpoint what her character is. Sometimes she's selfish, and other times, she's selfless; sometimes she wants to relax, and other times, Anne wants to go on an adventure; sometimes Anne needs a voice of reason, and other times, she is the voice of reason. It always felt inconsistent to me, and her personality is dependent on what the writers need for an episode. This is why I like "The Second Temple," because it at least offers some pinpoint explanation of who Anne is.

To put it bluntly, Anne is a selfish person who learns from her mistakes to become more selfless. Looking back, it is a tad bit more noticeable that Anne stops finding shortcuts or causing mischief the more and more the series goes on. There are times when she slips up, like ditching the cart with Sprig in "Fort in the Road" or being impatient in "Anne Hunter." However, these add to her development and having her learn to take responsibility for her actions. As much as I love a character like Luz, who is selfless from the get-go, I will admit that a character's journey from selfishness to selflessness is still an interesting one to take.

I also love the fact that she takes away the stone before it's fully charged. For one, it gives narrative purpose to a joke that, while not that funny, was pretty chuckle-worthy. On top of that, it adds more to Anne's imperfection, as her impatience got the better of her due to being worried about the Plantars and her girlfriend--I mean--Marcy. Whether this brief act of impatience could result in good luck or bad luck remains to be seen, and I'm honestly excited to see what happens next.

But not as excited as I am to see how Sasha continues to develop. The main thing that interests me with "Barrel's Warhammer" is Sasha's reaction to Anne and Marcy doing well without her. Time and time again, Sasha comes across as an abusive friend. And many abusers often feel anger over the idea that the people they abuse end up doing well for themselves, what with all the time and effort put into belittling them and building the abuser up. The thing is, I don't think that applies to Sasha. At least, not in the way it would. She's upset, but more for the selfish reason of hating that her "friends" don't need her anymore. The first scene in "Reunion" and a few bits from the season 2B trailer hints that Sasha acts as a leader who protects Anne and Marcy. So if they don't need her protection anymore, that means they really are better off without her. And that idea upsets Sasha down to her very core. You see a bit of it when Grime tells her to leave and how she isn't needed in "Toadcatcher." She thrives on power, and it eats her up, knowing she can no longer have it, meaning she'll do anything it takes to get more. And I adore the fact that she realizes the consequences of that after losing Percy and Braddock. After trying so hard to gain respect from the toad army, Sasha ends up losing two of the closest things she has as friends. Again.

It's especially an intriguing development since it leaves Sasha with Grime, a character who acts as a mirror for what Sasha could be. They both share a desire for power but diverge in how they see others that help them get it. Sasha sees friends that she genuinely cares about but fails to effectively express her adoration. Grime sees nothing but soldiers that can be lost and quickly replaced with others who are better. And something tells me he'll barely think twice about abandoning Sasha the second it benefits him. I won't deny that Sasha cares deeply about Anne and Marcy, but if she doesn't shape up, she will become just as slimy and emotionless as Grime is on the daily.

So, yeah, these are two great episodes with fantastic episodes with great character exploration, some pretty cool action, and a few jokes that gain a chuckle from me...there's just one issue: Pacing. Both of these episodes feel like they're on fast-forward and would benefit better as double-lengthed. Moreso with "Barrel's Warhammer," as I feel like a couple more scenes showing the bond between Sasha, Percy, and Braddock would make Percy and Braddock's departure all the more heartbreaking.

Other than that, these are still B+ episodes, in my opinion, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Also, I hope you enjoyed this new format for What I Thought About. Because Amphibia works on an eleven-minute runtime, I can't really go as in-depth with each episode as I can for The Owl House, which operates on twenty-two. Meaning that I have to be a bit more general on my thoughts when regarding each episode.

(Also, also, I won't be reviewing every episode of Amphibia from now on. Just the ones that are worth talking about. Because I can't review every episode of Amphibia AND The Owl House, especially if both shows start airing together again. Trying to do both at the same time requires the mental stamina that I do not have.)

#amphiba #what i thought about #amphibia reviews #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #captain grime

[arseneiic]

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

1a. I will not interact with non-Mutuals, that includes asks, unless it’s done anonymously and it doesn’t have a url attached.  Anyone who breaks this rule will get about a few pardons but after that will be blocked.

2. My time is limited here in what I can do. This means that I am very selective in what I reply to. Doesn’t necessary mean that I am ignoring anyone. Some days I reply to everything and everyone, others I am so burnt out from irl things or work that I just lurk and do the bare minimum. My mental health and well-being comes before anything else.

2a. Replies vary by length and time. I normally work eight to ten hours a day and experience a lot of exhaustion. Unless I don’t see a thread or an ask going anywhere and publicly make a post saying it’s been dropped, consider everything as pending / will do ASAP. Memes are okay to send in late unless it clearly states, not accepting. My timezone is Eastern Standard Time or EST. United States is where I am located at. I am usually online from 10 PM EST to 3 AM EST unless it’s a day off from work, which the online time will vary from 12 PM EST to 3 AM EST.

2b.  Role-playing is a hobby, not a job. Do not pester me for replies or asks to be answered. I am not obligated to owe anyone anything on this website. I am human and can’t cater to everyone’s needs.  Being persistent here is not going to make me answer yours faster than other people.

2c. Don’t follow, unfollow, and then refollow my blog. It’s not going to make me want to follow you back, ever. It’s annoying and no one is being crafty by doing that. If you continue to do this and it isn’t a tumblr glitch, I will be inclined to block and possibly report for spam.

3. If you do need to break mutuals with me, HARD BLOCK my blog. Don’t just UNFOLLOW or SOFT BLOCK because chances are that I could mistakenly follow you again. And that’s something we both don’t want since it would be quite awkward.

3a. I have the right to unfollow whoever I want to and so do you. Please don’t go on a hunt and try to guilt trip me into following you back again. Just don’t. I can and will tell you the reason why I unfollowed you but other than that, just let me leave in peace.

3b. Personal blogs and non RP blogs will be blocked on site. Please, if you have a side blog let me know through asks so I don’t accidentally block you. IMs are not a good way to let me know since they are closed for non-mutuals.

4. Duplicates are welcomed to follow me. The more the merrier. I do not suffer from same muse anxiety and encourage any of the same muse to follow me. Only request is that you don’t steal my headcanons, edits or icons. Other than that, we should all be able to have a good time. I’m always up for twin verses or alternate universes shenanigans.

4a. Original Characters are allowed to follow me. However, they need to be a little flesh out before I make a decision to follow them back or not. Just a small backstory or biography is all that I need. Headcanons also work if there isn’t an about page but must have about one page worth for me to consider following.

4b. Crossover Characters from other shows are allowed to follow me but I must know about said muse or else I’ll have a hard time whether to follow or not. Few fandoms I won’t interact with because I have no interest in these series are: Avatar the Last Airbender, Avatar the Legend of Korra. ( more to be added ).

5. I am a multi-ship blog. Arsene himself is ageless but his physical form is around 25 when he became a shadow / persona / demon and as such, I will only be shipping him romantically with muses around the 20s to 30s range. Some threads may get a little spicy but nothing that requires a ‘do not read at work’ type of posts. I will tag those post that are suggestive with a ‘spicy: tw & spicy for ts’ and ‘Looks like someone needs proper punishment’ for blacklisting purposes.

5a. I am open to all kinds of ships, not just romantic ones. I also enjoy platonic, rivalry, and familiar bonds. All ships are open to discussions through my IM(s) or otherwise known as Instant Messenger. Chemistry is key. As long as we interact a little, there’s always the chance that both muses can be in a relationship.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just in real life ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

6a. Things I’ll tag for you: BLOOD, GORE, DEATH, BODY HORROR, EYE HORROR, INSECTS, MAGGOTS, BRUISES, SCARS, GUNS, KNIVES, CLOWNS. If there are anything I missed that you want tagged, please let me know through IM(s).

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

7a. If I see any form of hate and I find out it was you that sent it, I will immediately BLOCK you. No questions asked. Life is too short to send unwanted hate, anon or not. All anon hate and hate towards me and my characters ( s ) in general will be reported and then blocked, no questions asked.

8. My pen name on here is SERE. Obviously, that is not my real name but it’s what I go by. It’s short for ‘Serena’, the English name that DIC gave Usagi Tsukino in the Americanized version of Sailor Moon. It’s pronounced; SIR-REE.

9. I am not a meme source. If you need to reblog a meme from my blog and don’t plan to send me anything, reblog from the source. I hardly get asks as it is, and for you to just use me as a meme source puts a bad taste in my mouth and I feel like I’m being used, which isn’t a good feeling. If you wonder if you should send in a meme to me, please do. I love getting asks. I do hoard them from time to time like a dragon hoards treasure but I do get to them eventually. The more memes / asks, the merrier.

9a.  Feel free to turn inbox replies into threads. Just remember to make separate post when replying. Do not reblog threads not meant for you and don’t reblog my headcanons. It’s okay to reblog my asks though if you want them to be keepsakes on your own blog. Also, it’s alright to reblog musings and images from me.

10. I rather not be bothered by callout posts and any potential drama that might accumulate. I am just here to have fun and I hope everyone else can too. Life is too short to spend on certain things that don’t matter in the long run. If I see multiple call out posts from you in a single day or that’s all you post, I will quietly unfollow you.

11.  Out of character posts will be on here from time to time. Mostly talking about life in general or me venting once in a great while. If this annoys you, please remember that this is my blog, not yours. You are welcomed to unfollow / block at any time.

11a.  The best way to interact with me is to send memes / asks / inbox things. I am always up for unprompted things in my inbox. Also, my instant messenger is always open if someone needs to contact me out of character or to plot something. Don’t hesitate to talk to me. I will try my best to respond.

11b. Not interacting after a month or two with me and my blog will make me silently unfollow you or result in a soft block. Or if you don’t interact with me at all, even out of character. Also, if you are gone for more than 6 months, I consider your blog inactive and will probably assume that you aren’t going to return.

12. I’m really laid-back in nature so don’t feel pressure to reply to anything I send to you. I understand that life happens and that sometimes you just need to unwind from the stress of daily life.

13. For pronouns; either SHE/HER or THEY/THEM is okay with me. My orientation is DEMIROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I love anime, manga, video games, music, drawing, and writing. If you read all of this, then thank you! I won’t ask for passcodes but please still try to remember these at some point. That’s all I ask. <3.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well ).

#long post: tw #rules;; #laws;; #mobile rules;; #mobile laws;;

[chocoholicannanymous]

(Take) These Broken Wings (Glee) 8/?

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, and you couldn’t pay me enough to take responsibility for it.

Post BIOTA: For someone who’d claimed to be his friend Blaine’s behavior sure left a lot to wish for. Hurt and angry Kurt begins to question his situation – and what he can do to change it.

POV: Kurt Hummel. Pairings: kurtofsky, blainchel. Slightly shady relationship-consent. Not Blaine friendly (no suprise at all).

So, not only do you get another chapter already (I know, what happened?) but it’s a long one. You’re welcome. Here’s hoping I can keep this up!

Previous: Part 7, Part 6, Part 5, Part 4, Part 3,  Part 2b, Part 2a, Part 1

8/?

“Mr Schue? Before we get started I have an announcement I'd like to share.”

While most of the New Directions grumbled Rachel ignored them and stood up. Kurt on his part was looking sharply at her, because something was off. Not only had Rachel not mentioned having a song, she hadn't left the seats to stand by the piano.

Yeah, something was up.

“Blaine and I have broken up. I listened to what you were saying, and I have been thinking hard about it, and the truth is that being in rival show choirs was just too big of a stressor on our relationship as was the fact that us being a couple made it so that you all couldn't trust me. It was a hard decision, but I couldn't do anything else. We're going to try and be friends still, of course, but that's all.

“Thank you for listening to me, and for showing me understanding in these trying times.”

With that she sat down, looking demure, and Kurt shook his head a little – a move he got away with only by sitting in the back row.

The only surprising thing here – besides Rachel not taking the opportunity to perform – was how long the breakup had taken. There had even been a betting pool, and “blainchel” (which really, it sounded like a venereal disease) had surpassed every single bet.

Even Santana, who Kurt felt should have been the most supportive in regards to bisexuality, had put them down at two weeks at the most.

He hadn't participated himself, for a number of reason, and in the end was probably the least surprised one.

Yes, Blaine and Rachel had been a very bad fit, but they'd also had a lot of reasons to stay together. Rachel hadn't exactly been subtle in her attempts to rub her new boyfriend in Finn's face, and Blaine... Well, Blaine had had something to prove hadn't he? After all Kurt, had basically called his attempt at dating Rachel a sham and Blaine had not liked that.

There was also Blaine's hints to Burt Hummel that his own dad had tried to make him straight.

Blaine definitely had something to gain from a continued relationship with a girl.

Oh, Rachel probably hadn't been the best choice for that, seeing as the two were not all that compatible. They were just too similar, equally eager for the spotlight, equally needy for attention.

Even if Blaine had decided he was attracted to girls- and Kurt still wasn't sure that was the case – Rachel would always be too occupied with her own need to be admired to give Blaine what he needed.

Case in point? It had taken one week for Rachel to announce a breakup after having being told off for Blaine being a risk for the New Directions. One. Week. She'd spent their entire relationship telling everyone who would stand still – and quite possibly a few that wouldn't – that her relationship with Blaine was all but written in the stars, as would their names be in the future. Together, of course, as they were just such a suited couple, both with the same dreams and ambitions and goals.

And yet as soon as Rachel thought said relationship was risking her solos Blaine was gone. In a fit of cruelty Kurt thought that they both had been looking more for a “biggest fan” than a partner.

Regardless, they were over now and Kurt hoped that it meant he wouldn't have to be subjected to Blaine again.

He cleared his mind of them both – such a waste of valuable seconds – and instead switched from pretending to listen to Mr Schue to actually doing so as the man described the latest development in their quest to not fuck up at Nationals. Oh, he didn't it call it that, but Kurt was fairly adept at translating Mr Scue-isms to reality by now.

Things are about to become interesting...

Kurt perked up and watched Rachel like a hawk. It would be very telling how she reacted to what Mr Schue was about to say – or at least, what Kurt believed the man was about to say based.

“So! To that end I've recruited some more members. Now, they won't be here until next week since I wanted to give you guys a heads up first, and I hope you'll welcome them.”

Eight Cheerios, two of them guys. Five Titans. Exactly the kind of people who never would have signed up on their own, and who most of the Glee kids would never want to sign up.

Everyone turned to stare at Rachel and when she stayed quiet – though, Kurt thought, not without a fight – they looked at him instead.

“What? Are you waiting for me to protest or what, faint in fear or something? We need the numbers, and it's not like we've done that great a job at recruiting on our own. I've worked with the Cheerios and while I can't speak for their singing each and everyone of them mean we can kick our choreography up another notch.

“As for the guys from the Titans... Well. I am going to trust that they're smart enough to not just follow directions – which they clearly managed during the halftime show – but also leave any ideas of bullying outside this room. After all, McKinley's supposed to be free from that now.”

“But, but, Karofsky's one of them!”

Which Kurt already knew. Dave had told him both about being approached and about considering it – It'll look good on college applications. Make me “well rounded” or some shit like that – and Kurt hadn't seen a problem with it. The opposite in fact. After all, Glee had helped turn Finn and Puck around (in varying degrees) and Kurt liked to think that it'd help do the same for more jocks.

“So? I'm sorry, Mercedes, but I am not seeing a problem here. Dave Karofsky has apologized to me. He has made promises to not just me, but to this school, and so far he's kept them. He has been part of my escort around school ever since I came back, and not once has he given me reason to fear him.

“If any of you want to have an issue with him, or any one of the others, joining us that's your right. Just don't expect to use me as a weapon in that fight. Because to be frank? Right now Dave Karofsky has done more to balance his scales than at least half the people in this room.”

And that shut them all down, just as Kurt had know it would.

Curiously, Rachel didn't say a word the entire time.

Another week and a half went by before the other shoe dropped.

It did so in the form of a phone call.

It wasn't a number from his contact list, but Kurt had thought it familiar so he answered anyway. He regretted it immediately.

“Kurt, hello.”

“Blaine.” Why? What did I do to deserve this?

“I was hoping we'd be able to meet up tomorrow, say at the coffee shop two blocks from Dalton? Would 2 o'clock suit you?”

Kurt had to struggle to make his voice work. Not only was Blaine calling him, but he wanted to meet? Was he asleep? Was this a nightmare brought on as punishment for having had a second slice of cheesecake after dinner? He pinched himself, and no, that hurt.

No such luck then.

“I'm sorry, but I have other plans tomorrow. Besides, I can't see what we would have to say to each other.” I definitely said everything I was willing to last time I saw you.

“Come on, Kurt. Don't be like that. Just come tomorrow.”

“Did you not hear me? I have other plans. I'd say sorry, but I'm actually not. Goodbye Blaine.”

When the doorbell rang shortly after 10 the next morning Kurt considered not opening. Somehow he wouldn't be surprised to find out that Blaine had called Rachel to complain about Kurt being mean, or unreasonable, and that she'd come to lecture him about kicking someone who was already down. The problem was that if it was Rachel then not opening would lead to either her ringing the bell again and again until Finn woke up and came to open or her being a bitch in school.

Neither was appealing, so he sighed and went to open.

Pro: It wasn't Rachel. Con: It was Blaine.

“Good morning Kurt.”

“What are you doing here? I told you I have plans.”

“Well, I knew you weren't being honest about that. Mercedes is at Rachel's, having some girl-time.”

Kurt waited for something more, anything, but nothing came.

“So what, you think I have no one to spend time except those two? Nice. I'm sure you'll be happy to find out that's not true. Also, there is such a thing that having plans on your own.”

“But if you're just doing something on your own then surely that can wait, and you can spend some time with me instead.”

“I suppose it could,” and Blaine's smile practically radiated superiority, “if I was doing something on my own, and if I wanted to spend time with you.”

The smile vanished.

“Kurt.”

It was just his name, but Kurt could hear so many things in it. “I'm disappointed in you.” “You're being ridiculous.” Too bad for Blaine that Kurt's done listening to those silent rebukes.

“I don't understand why you're pushing this. The last time I saw you at Dalton we hadn't spoken in weeks. Because you didn't want to.”

“You hurt me!”

“And I have apologized for that. Publicly even. After, I might add, trying to do so repeatedly. I didn't mean to hurt you, or make you feel like I was some kind of phobic, hateful person.

“You on the other hand meant for the other Warblers to shut me out, didn't you? So I guess we're even. I hurt you, you hurt me.”

“See? That means we can start over!”

“No, it doesn't. That's not something I want in my life, Blaine, that balance of payback. That's not healthy, and it doesn't end. After all, what happened was I said something stupid, which I said because I was hurt and angry, and that then made you hurt and angry, which made you act in a way that made me – again – hurt and angry.

“It's a vicious circle, and not one I want or need in my life.”

“Are you saying we can't be friends again? That we couldn't be...more?”

And wow, that came out of left field. It did explain a few things though, like why Blaine had gone so far as to go to Kurt's home though.

Huh.

Blaine was asking him out? Not that long ago that would have made Kurt deliriously happy, and he would have said yes before Blaine even finished the sentence. Now however, now was...different.

When Blaine had fallen head over heels for Jeremiah he’d serenaded the older boy and talked about marriage – all based on a few coffee dates, that Jeremiah hadn’t even seemed to think of as dates.

When Blaine had dated Rachel he’d done so based on drunken kisses and duets. He’d showed up at McKinley at least twice a week, to take her out for lunch or coffee, and always took her to the movies and Breadstix during the weekends. He’d sung to her as well, both in the choir room and backed up by the Warblers out in the quad.

And Kurt? Kurt got an offer for coffee in Westerville after weeks of silence, which wasn't even presented as a possible date. Only a question if they couldn't be something more than friends – and that much only after Kurt pushed. And there hadn't been even a hint of an apology for Blaine's behavior.

“Really? That's where you're going now? You and Rachel broke up, what? A week and a half, two weeks ago? And now you want to date me?”

“Why? Why now, when you weren't the least bit interested before?”

Blaine opened his mouth, probably to protest, which, no. Not acceptable.

“Don't. Back at Dalton everyone knew I liked you. Hell, you knew I liked you – I told you. But you weren’t interested in me. And that’s okay, really. Not liking someone is your prerogative. Just as everything else you’ve done. Sure, you could have changed your mind, that happens, but why now? You didn’t see me as a potential boyfriend until I left Dalton and moved on.

“So I really have to ask why? Especially since you haven't apologized for a single thing you said and did before I left. In fact, you came here still pushing that I hurt you.

“To be brutally honest, it feels as if you’re trying to guilt me into dating you. I said some things that were hurtful and rude, but I did apologize. You don’t get to hold that over my head for the rest of my life, okay? That’s just not how things work.”

Kurt took a deep breath, trying to reign in his emotions.

“We both messed up. Sure, it’s not a competition, but that’s just the way it is.”

Wait...

The coffee shop Blaine had suggested was one Kurt had been curious to try, and he had hinted at going there several times. Blaine had never wanted to go there though, but now he'd suggested it. Maybe he'd done so to please Kurt, and a couple of months ago that would have made Kurt ecstatic. Now it just made him angry. Also very suspicious. Me thinks there's something rotten in the state of Lima...

“Wait. If you were angling for a date, why make me drive all the way to Westerville? We both live here, and I know you don't usually stay at Dalton during the weekends. So why not ask me to meet up at the Lima Bean? The cinema here is a lot better than you'd think, so why not suggest a movie? Or you could have really signaled that you intended it to be a date and made reservations for dinner at Breadstix. I know you are capable of that.

“You had so many options, and instead you want to go to a coffee shop you dissed repeatedly while we were still on speaking terms and insisted we go to the Lima Bean instead. Why?”

Quiet.

“Tell me, or leave.”

Blaine pouted a little at being questioned, but broke down quickly.

“It wouldn't be fair to Rachel to go on dates here. I just can't do that to her. You know what people are like, what they say to her. What do you think they'd say if her boyfriend went from dating her to seeing another guy?”

Kurt hated to admit it, but Blaine did have a point. He could imagine exactly what people would say much to well. Understanding that didn't mean accepting being given only crumbles though.

“So you're saying...what? That protecting Rachel from possible fallout is more important than making me feel valued? At what point would your breakup be far enough in the past for a date that doesn't mean leaving town? At what point would you stop treating me like your dirty secret?”

Kurt looked at the boy he'd thought was Prince Charming and felt empty. Even as he was asking Kurt out Blaine was putting Rachel's comfort and reputation over his. And apparently that meant he wasn’t going to openly date another boy in Lima. Or was that “openly date Kurt in Lima”? Whichever it was, it still hurt.

“You matter” his dad voice whispered in his head, yet Kurt couldn’t help but feel that he didn’t. Not to Blaine. Because if he did, then surely Blaine wouldn’t act ashamed of him?

All this, after having been strung along and rejected for over six months before finally saying enough.

The sad part, the horrible part? Blaine seemed certain it’d work. Not that Kurt didn’t see why – he had, after all, been absolutely pathetic when it came to begging for Blaine’s attention.

Kurt wasn’t sure what was most pathetic now though: the fact that a part of him still wanted to say yes, just to have a boyfriend, or that the only thing holding him back was the boy who’d bullied him, and who’d sent him running towards Blaine in the first place.

He could see himself accepting Blaine’s proposition, could see himself going out with the other boy, pitifully thankful for someone actually asking him out, and just ignoring all the reasons why he shouldn’t. Sure, he was sort of doing the same when it came to Dave, but there was a difference: Dave wasn’t angling to be his boyfriend. Also, with Dave he had an easy way out. There wouldn’t be one with Blaine – not for him.

He looked at Blaine and shook his head. This was pointless.

“Don't bother answering. I am not going to go out with you regardless. Thanks but no thanks, I guess.”

Blaine's blush increased and he started spluttering out a protest of some kind (at least that's what Kurt interpreted it as.)

“Look. I'd like you to leave now. I have, as I've said repeatedly, plans. I don't want to be late because of you.”

“Late? Are you actually meeting someone? Who?”

“Nice to know you think so low about my ability to find people to socialize with. Not that it's really any of your business, but after everything that had been happening I decided I wanted to try and meet more LGBT youth. I had no idea there were so many people I could connect with around here.”

It had been heady, finding all of these teenagers that could relate to what he had gone through growing up, and who were willing to accept him as he was. Not all of them were out, but that meant less to him these days. Besides, when the lion's part of communication and socializing happened online “out” became a completely different thing.

Of course, he wasn't actually meeting any of them now, but Blaine didn't need – or deserve – to know that he was meeting Dave.

“Really? That's great! I could go with you, it'd be great.”

Sigh. There apparently was no way getting through to Blaine that didn't include a verbal version of a 2 by 4.

“No. I have plans. You are not invited. And quite frankly, I can't imagine anyone of my new acquaintances appreciating someone else tagging along without warning. You see, I learned something really important from you. It was something I already knew, but didn't really get. So, I guess thank you for driving the lesson home.”

“And what lesson was that?” Blaine looked a little cautious, which indicated that yes, he actually had a functioning brain.

“You don't out people. Goodbye Blaine.”

And he closed the door, without slamming it – he was tempted, yes, but the way his luck was running he'd crack it or something.

Kurt waited 15 minutes before leaving, just in case Blaine was standing outside waiting to ambush him. Still, as he pulled out of the driveway he kept an eye out for Blaine's car. And there it was.

It was just so Blaine. He had been told, explicitly, that he wasn't welcome to join Kurt and whoever he was meeting – a person Kurt had hinted pretty heavily wasn't out. And Blaine had just decided none of that mattered because he wanted differently. Selfish bastard. He was going to deserve everything Kurt was planning on raining down on him.

Going to the garage was a detour, and not one Kurt really wanted to spend time on, but it was his best bet when it came to getting away.

It being a Saturday meant that Hummel Tires & Lube was running on a minimal staff, for planned jobs and emergencies only. That meant there was plenty of space for Kurt to pull into the fenced yard and park behind the garage. Next he walked through the building, waving at his dad, and peeked through the window. Yup, there he is. Blaine had parked so that he'd be able to see if Kurt left – or so he thought.

“What are you doing here, buddy? I thought you were meeting up with some of your internet friends?”

“Yeah, I am. Only it seems I picked up a stalker.”

Burt looked at him, sharp and worried.

“Mhm. Blaine – from Dalton, remember? – showed up at the house, and for some reason he thought I should agree to go out with him.”

“I thought you said he wasn't interested like that.”

“Yeah, that's what I thought too. After all, not only did I not even try to be subtle, but in the end I straight out told him. His response to that was – more or less – to start dating Rachel. I haven't really spoken to him since he called me a bully for not being supportive enough of that.

“He froze me out completely after that, even though I tried to apologize so many times, and that didn't change after I left.

“Only now he and Rachel broke up, and apparently Blaine thinks I'm still waiting around for him to notice me. I don't know why, because I'm not that much of a doormat, but he sure seems to think so.”

Burt gave him another sharp look.

“You sure about that? Because to me it looks like you were willing to put up with a lot – not just from him either – to get a boyfriend.”

Kurt blushed. He was well aware of his mistakes. Falling at Blaine's feet again was not going to be one of them though.

“Damned sure, dad. If Blaine hadn't insisted on dating Rachel first, then I probably would have agreed. But now? After being passed over not once, but twice? No thank you. Yes, I want a boyfriend. But I deserve someone who will look at me first, not as a backup once all other options have been explored.”

Because that was how Blaine made him feel. Like he was the living version of “two last people on earth”, and damnit if he didn't matter more than that.

“Okay. That's fair. I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself. Now, what about stalking?”

“Well, when I told him that not only did I not want to go out with him but I also had plans – which I had told him when he called yesterday – he tried to invite himself along. Then he followed me here. After I told him he wasn't invited to come along, and that I had no intention of outing the person I was meeting.”

Kurt watched his dad's face turn red, and felt a bit guilty. His dad's heart attack wasn't too far back, after all. But. Needs must.

“Want me to talk to him?”

“Would you? I would be so grateful. And if you'd let me go out through the back I'd be even more so.”

Because that was why he had gone there, in the hopes of using the locked back gate few people thought about. Blaine would most likely never guess to its existence, and even if he did Kurt would be able to leave while Burt Hummel gave “the prep school stalker” a piece of his mind.

As Kurt drove off he kept thinking about Blaine's actions over the past 24 hours. It made no sense. Blaine really had treated him like the last resort. The faithful dog that would come crawling back for petting even after being kicked. And that really wasn't Kurt. Except...

He'd thought Blaine and Rachel a bad match because they both wanted to be the center of attention, something neither of them would get from the other. Kurt however had always been so happy to admire Blaine that he'd constituted a fanclub all on his own. And that, right there, held what Kurt saw as the possible explanation as to why Blaine was now looking to date him instead of one of Dalton's mythological gay or bi boys.

Kurt would have – before the shunning – been happy to make Blaine the most important thing in his life. And as he'd been shown over and over again, most people would never have looked at Kurt when Blaine was there.

Thirty minutes later, stretched out on a picknick blanket with a deliciously heavy body pressed against him Kurt smiled into kisses because Dave? Dave would never look at Blaine if Kurt was around.

Monday mornings were always a downer – coming from freedom and peace to McKinley was never fun, not even with the lessened bullying. This Monday however was in the running for most annoying of the year. In one word: Rachel.

She was laying in wait for him at his locker and started her attack as soon as he was within hearing.

“Kurt? Blaine told me he asked you out, and you turned him down? Why would you do something like that? Surely he must have misunderstood you?”

Blaine again. Kurt was beginning to wish for a time machine so he could go back and tell himself to stay as far away from Blaine as possible at all times.

“I was asking myself that same question for a bit, but if he's saying I turned him down then apparently he did get the message.”

She frowned, obviously not pleased.

“Look, Kurt, I know you have all these ideas about love at first sight and all that, but honestly? You have to be realistic. So it took Blaine some time to get to the point of asking you out – but do you really think it’s fair to punish him for that? You should give him a chance. After all, this is Lima – who else is going to–”

“What? ‘Who else is going to go out with me’, was that what you were going to say?”

And why wouldn’t she? This was Rachel Berry. Tact wasn’t one of her strengths – maybe not one of her character traits at all – and neither was empathy. This is Lima, remember? Remember what Dave said about you being his only option?

“Honestly? I know that this is Lima, and I know what that means. Hell, I was sure I’d have to wait until college to get a boyfriend, and you know what? I’m okay with that. I have more respect for myself than to go out with someone just because they ask” or at least I want to have “and I definitely have too much self-respect to go out with a guy that acts like I’m something to be hidden away and he’s only asking me because he’s out of options. You might not care about me and my happiness, Rachel, but I do.

“Yes, I turned Blaine down. Yes, I meant it. And no, I’m not regretting it.

“And frankly? It's more than a little pathetic for Blaine to have his ex try and sell him to someone new – even disregarding everything. It's also not at all attractive.”

The problem with Rachel Berry – be honest, Kurt, one of many problems – was that she was a lot more dangerous than she looked, and she didn't care about casualties as long as she got what she wanted. Well, he was not going to let one of those casualties be Finn.

“No, Quinn isn't cheating on you. I don't care what Rachel says, because unlike her I actually know what's happening. Yes, Quinn is doing something that she's not telling you about. No, that something isn't making out with her ex-boyfriend.”

“Then why isn't she being honest with me about what she's up to?”

“Because it's not her secret to tell. It's not mine either, so don't look at me like that. We all know you have a problem with keeping secrets. Not because you're a gossip, or untrustworthy, but because sometimes you forget who is and who isn't in on something. So, do you think you can trust me when I say that I know what's going on, Rachel's completely wrong, and you have nothing to worry about? Because I promise you, if Quinn was cheating on you I would tell you.

“Rachel's just stirring up shit, hoping that you'll dump Quinn and come back to her now that she and Blaine's over.”

“You promise?”

And Kurt's heart hurt as he looked at the boy that'd become his brother. Finn had believed Rachel's trash-talk because he was so used to being cheated on – and cheating himself – that he didn't know how to expect anything else.

“I promise. Now, want to help me finish up dinner?”

Crisis adverted. Hopefully.

Of course it wasn't that easy. Finn refusing to go along hadn't stopped Rachel – if anything it'd made her even more determined to dig up some kind of dirt. And in her wake had come Jacob ben Israel and his damned camera and pictures in the fucking Muckraker. He liked Sue Sylvester more than most students, and felt he owed her to a degree, but this was crossing a line he wasn't going to forgive in the first place.

Not from anyone involved.

And of course it all came to blows in Glee. Even worse? The newly recruited members were there to witness.

He'd been happy to see their numbers increase, but now he found himself wishing that Mr Schue had been as ineffectual as usual so that there hadn't been quite as large an audience to Sam's humiliation.

“No. Sam, you don't owe them an explanation. You don't owe anyone anything. Rachel's inability to keep her nose out of other people's business did this, not you or I. McKinely isn't safe for LGBT students and she knows it. She also knows that it doesn't matter if someone's actually LGBT or not, just what people believe. What Jacob ben Israel posted could have landed you in the hospital or worse, and Rachel was the one who led him there.

“Won't your dads be proud of you, Rachel, knowing what you've done?”

“I haven't done anything wrong! Quinn was the one sneaking around on Finn–”

“Shut up, Rachel. She wasn't doing anything wrong – she was being a good person. Remember what that is?”

Rachel wasn't the only one whose mouth fell open as Finn spoke. Quinn looked happy as she sent him a soft smile, and Kurt, Kurt was so damned proud of his brother.

“Finn!”

“No. Look, what I did to Sam–”

“We.”

“Fine, what we did to Sam was shitty. Yet somehow he and Quinn managed to keep some level of trust and friendship, and that's just... Awesome. And I am not enough of an asshole to get in the middle of that. I trust Quinn, and I trust Sam, and you don't get to say otherwise.

“As for Kurt, yeah, you don't get to say shit about that either. Sam's never been anything but cool with Kurt, unlike the rest of us, and I thought you of all people should know better than this.”

And wow, Finn had really worked on his “disappointed in you” look. It was quite frankly amazing. The others seemed to think so too, judging from how they reacted as Finn slowly turned to meet everyone's eyes.

“I hope I don't have to explain to anyone exactly how not at all acceptable it is to spread this shit around the school. I know I'd hate to end up in detention for fighting with a team mate, or for getting into it with a girl.” “That doesn't mean I won't” hung in the air, just as loud as if Finn had actually said it out loud.

“Mr Schue? Could we get back to what we're supposed to be doing here?”

And of course since it was Finn asking that was exactly what happened.

Kurt spent the rest of practice seething.

Rachel was waiting for him by the Nav after Glee, which meant she'd put on some really impressive speed to beat him there.

“Kurt. You have to listen to me. Finn doesn't understand how dangerous it can be, being LGBT in a town like this, but you and I, we do. You know how much danger Sam will be in if people think you are seeing him.

“There are already people whispering about you turning him gay, or worse. You remember what it was like before. Do you realize how bad this is for Sam? He could get hurt – someone could hurt him, because of this. Because of you. Do you really want that for him?”

“Of course I don't, but–”

It was like speaking to a wall, except less effective.

“I just...I think you should try and distance yourself from whatever it is that you think that the two of you have going on. You should get a boyfriend.”

And there it was. Find a boyfriend. Next she’d be pushing Blaine on him again.

Anyone else, Mercedes or Tina or Brittany or yes, even Santana, and he’d have been willing to think they were looking out for him, and Sam. But this was Rachel, and he knew her too well for that.

Maybe Rachel really did care about Sam, but, Kurt knew, for Rachel Berry it was always about her in the end. Apparently once her romantic relationship with Blaine was over they’d  allowed it to morph into some strange symbiotic friendship – which Kurt felt was probably less than healthy.

Blaine wanted Kurt to go out with him, and that meant Rachel wanted it too, meaning it should happen. After all, not getting what they wanted lessened the duos’ focus on being stars, or something like that.

Also – and okay, he had no proof for that part except for experience, but that was valuable enough – if Kurt wasn’t around Sam Rachel could focus on the fact that Quinn was, could try again to drive a wedge between the blonde and Finn, hopefully leaving Finn free for the taking.

Too bad Kurt wasn’t going to cooperate then.

“Look, Rachel, even if I did find a boyfriend it wouldn’t stop me from being friends with Sam, from spending time with him. In fact, any boyfriend worth the trouble would never try to stop me from that. And it’s not like something as simple as me staying away or the truth is going to stop the gossiping jerks of McKinley. It never has before.”

They'd both been subjected to enough gossip to know that, after all.

“Also, seriously Rachel? This is only a problem because of you. You had no business sneaking around and spying, and you most definitely had no right spreading those rumors. If someone hurts Sam because of that it won’t be my fault, it’ll be yours and Jacob ben Israel's. After all, we kept a low profile for a reason. No one would know about us being friends outside of the choir room if not for you and your big mouth and your damned stalking.”

“Then you need to do something about it! We'll find a girl to go out on a couple of dates with Sam – I'm sure Mercedes would be willing. And Blaine is still interested in you, all you have to do is stop playing hard to catch. This isn't the time to let your hurt feelings run the show, Kurt, this is when you need to be better than that.”

And wow, really? Did she crack completely while I wasn't looking?

“Thanks for that suggestion, Rachel. Now would you mind moving, I would like to get out of here.”

Except he couldn't stop thinking about everything. It all went round and round in his head, until the pieces started falling together in a very ugly pattern.

Twenty minutes after leaving Rachel behind in the parking lot Kurt rang the doorbell at the Berrys.

“Kurt! I knew you'd come to your senses! I have the perfect suggestion for you to–”

“Did you do it on purpose?”

“What?”

“Did. You. Do. It. On. Purpose? Did you lead Jacob there on purpose? Did you plan this, Rachel?”

The words were coming out louder and louder, dripping with bitterness, until he was practically shouting.

Hiram Berry came running in to the hallway, took one look at his daughter backed up against a wall and the furious Kurt, and started trying to defuse the situation. Kurt wasn't having it though.

“I'm not leaving without an answer, Rachel. I also don't have a problem with airing this in front of your dad, so if you thought him being here would save you, think again.”

“What's the matter, Kurt? Whatever it is I'm sure we can fix it.”

“Right. Well, see, Mr Berry, I really doubt that. Unless of course you have a time machine hidden away somewhere.

“See, once Rachel and her boyfriend broke up – supposedly because having to keep the New Directions' setlist secret from him was just so hard – she started trying to talk my brother into dumping his girlfriend by claiming she was cheating on him. When that didn't help Rachel decided to keep stalking Quinn in the hopes to take pictures that'd make Finn leave Quinn and come running back to Rachel – or so I assume, since it's not exactly common for her to do things like this without personal gain.

“Now, maybe I would have let Rachel get away with this normally, because she didn't stand a chance of getting what she wanted, but thanks to her actions a good friend of mine is actually in danger right now.”

“I had nothing to do with those photos! And if you're so worried about Sam you should stay away from him and–” Rachel snapped her mouth shut, possibly realizing she was close to saying something that would only give Kurt more ammunition.

“You didn't take those photos, no, but there is no way Jacob ben Israel would have found Sam there without you. You already know he stalks you on a regular basis, so why would you believe he isn't now, knowing that you're single again?”

“I'm sorry, but would you mind telling me what you're talking about?”

Rachel tried to serve her version, but Kurt just talked right over her and informed Mr Berry about exactly what had happened.

“That is horrible, and we are going to come back to that later, but for now I'd like to know why you were asking if Rachel planned this.”

“Because I know her?

“No, sorry. First of all there's Finn. She went to him first, but he refused to listen to her, choosing instead to trust his girlfriend. It would be very much Rachel's style to believe that spreading the information would make Finn change his mind.

“Second, when people started asking Sam if he was involved with me in some way Rachel suggested that I could protect Sam from being called gay – and subjected to the same treatment I get – by abandoning my friend and start dating her ex-boyfriend. That I have no interest in doing so, and have in fact turned him down already, wasn't a concern for her.”

Mr Berry frowned and gave Rachel an appraising look. She soon began to blush, leading Mr Berry to frown even harder.

“I'm really disappointed in you right now, Rachel. I suggest you go to your room and think about what you've done, and we'll talk about this when your dad comes home. Kurt, would you mind answering a few more questions for me?”

It ended up being more than a few questions, but seeing as the result was Mr Berry leaving to talk with both Jacob and his parents Kurt was fine with it.

He was even more fine with it the next day when he found out the results. Jacob had lost his camera and his channel was gone. The Muckraker had been disbanded and that everyone involved had been forced to apologize to everyone they'd trashed – including Sue. And the Evans family had gotten some proper help, both with their living situation and looking for jobs. Mr and Mr Berry did not play around.

The fact that Rachel was subdued and refused to even look at Kurt was just the cherry on top.

~TBC ~

#chocoholic fics #kurtofsky #kurt hummel #dave karofsky #pov: kurt hummel #(take) these broken wings #not for the klaint of heart #not blaine or rachel friendly

[crazybagelbitch]

Harriet: Christmas prompt part 2b - the tree does not go down well with Maddie and she phones/visits (you choose) chimney later that night crying that she’s sorry and didn’t mean to upset him/Harriet. Just panicked. 🥺

“This is not a good idea, this is not a good idea,” he keeps muttering to himself under his breath, hoping Harriet is too caught up in the excitement of the moment to be listening to him.

It appears, by the way that she’s giggling and clapping her hands, that she is.

“Maddie?” Buck calls, “we come baring gifts!”

He can immediately tell by the look on Maddie’s face when she sees the Christmas tree that he was right; terrible idea.

He opens his mouth to apologize but Buck beats him to the punch, continuing on talking, clearly having not picked up on his sister’s anxiety.

“We got decorations too, so don’t say--”

“I just w-wasn’t going to do much Christmas this year,” Maddie says in a panic.

“Why not?” Buck asks.

“It’s okay,” Chimney says quickly, hoping to salvage this before it goes further south, “Maddie doesn’t want a tree-- we shouldn’t have assumed. We can give it to someone else, it’s fine--”

“Maddie, come on, you love Christmas,” Buck shakes his head, sounding incredulously, “what’s going on here?”

“Nothing, I’m fine. Just no Christmas this year, okay?”

“No Christmas?” Harriet asks, lip trembling and eyes wide and oh god no, he feels bad abandoning ship but Chimney knows he needs to get his daughter out of her and fast, because she’s going to get upset, and he knows that will only make Maddie feel even more anxious.

“No, Hare-Bear, we’ll have Christmas this year, don’t worry. How about we go get some ice cream, hm? Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Christmas cancelled?”

“No, sweetheart, no. Not at all. Ice cream and then Christmas.”

“Strawberry?”

“Yep, your favorite, of course,” Chimney nods emphatically, mouthing an “I’m so sorry” at Maddie before carrying Harriet out the door, practically running as he can hear Buck shouting about how he has yet another thing to thank Doug.

Luckily, because of her age-given attention span, Harriet is easy to distract. Ice cream helps, and so does watching a Disney movie (but not Rapunzel of course), and so does playing with her stuffed dog named Unicorn.

But he can tell by her face when she remembers what happened earlier, and he does his best to reassure that Maddie is okay, just surprised, and maybe he tells a little white lie that the reason Maddie got emotional was just she was so captivated by the beauty of the tree.

Yeah, he feels like a dick for lying to her, but it seems like the better option than explaining domestic violence to his poor three year old who has already been forced to grapple with the concept of death.

His phone rings just as he’s finished putting Harriet to bed that night, and he knows exactly who it is, exactly who knows their routine well enough to know that Harriet would now be unable to overhear.

“Maddie? Are you okay?”

“I-I’m so sorry,” she whimpers, and Chimney flinches at the tears in her voice, “so, s-so sorry, was so nice of y-you to get me a tree. Buck s-said Harriet picked it out a-and I ruined it...”

“No, no, please don’t cry, Maddie. It’s alright. You didn’t ruin anything. I’m the one that should be sorry, okay? I should have been more sensitive and--”

“D-did I hurt your feeling? Is H-Harriet okay? Is she upset?”

“Shh, we’re fine, I promise. Please, please, don’t feel bad.”

“R-ruined Christmas,” Maddie sobs, and Chimney feels like a dagger is going into his heart, “she’s three and I-I ruined--”

“You didn’t ruin anything, and especially not Christmas. She’s three, okay? It’s impossible to ruin Christmas for her. I am begging you, Maddie, do not feel worried about us. We’re fine. If anything I was selfish.”

“Selfish? H-how? So selfless, s-so good...”

“I wasn’t sure you’d have... a good reaction to it,” he sighs, pausing and waiting for her to start yelling, to start hating him for being so selfish, “but Harriet was so excited and I wanted to make her happy and it’s the first year I feel like she’s really old enough to understand Christmas and that her mother’s not there and--”

“R-ruined it,” Maddie wails, and god damn it, should have kept that to himself.

“No, Maddie--”

“I’ll make it u-up to you, I swear. T-to both of you. Tell H-Harriet I’m sorry.”

“No, I won’t, because there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“S-sorry. Gonna f-fix it. See you l-later.”

“No, Maddie, don’t--”

He hears a beep.

“...Hang up.”

[braveryhearted]

RULES

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

1a. I will not interact with non-Mutuals, that includes asks, unless it’s done anonymously and it doesn’t have a url attached.  Anyone who breaks this rule will get about a few pardons but after that will be blocked.

2. My time is limited here in what I can do. This means that I am very selective in what I reply to. Doesn’t necessary mean that I am ignoring anyone. Some days I reply to everything and everyone, others I am so burnt out from irl things or work that I just lurk and do the bare minimum. My mental health and well-being comes before anything else.

2a. Replies vary by length and time. I normally work eight to ten hours a day and experience a lot of exhaustion. Unless I don’t see a thread or an ask going anywhere and publicly make a post saying it’s been dropped, consider everything as pending / will do ASAP. Memes are okay to send in late unless it clearly states, not accepting. My timezone is Eastern Standard Time or EST. United States is where I am located at. I am usually online from 10 PM EST to 3 AM EST unless it’s a day off from work, which the online time will vary from 12 PM EST to 3 AM EST.

2b.  Role-playing is a hobby, not a job. Do not pester me for replies or asks to be answered. I am not obligated to owe anyone anything on this website. I am human and can’t cater to everyone’s needs.  Being persistent here is not going to make me answer yours faster than other people.

2c. Don’t follow, unfollow, and then refollow my blog. It’s not going to make me want to follow you back, ever. It’s annoying and no one is being crafty by doing that. If you continue to do this and it isn’t a tumblr glitch, I will be inclined to block and possibly report for spam.

3. If you do need to break mutuals with me, HARD BLOCK my blog. Don’t just UNFOLLOW or SOFT BLOCK because chances are that I could mistakenly follow you again. And that’s something we both don’t want since it would be quite awkward.

3a. I have the right to unfollow whoever I want to and so do you. Please don’t go on a hunt and try to guilt trip me into following you back again. Just don’t. I can and will tell you the reason why I unfollowed you but other than that, just let me leave in peace.

3b. Personal blogs and non RP blogs will be blocked on site. Please, if you have a side blog let me know through asks so I don’t accidentally block you. IMs are not a good way to let me know since they are closed for non-mutuals.

4. Duplicates are welcomed to follow me. The more the merrier. I do not suffer from same muse anxiety and encourage any of the same muse to follow me. Only request is that you don’t steal my headcanons, edits or icons. Other than that, we should all be able to have a good time. I’m always up for twin verses or alternate universes shenanigans.

4a. Original Characters are allowed to follow me. However, they need to be a little flesh out before I make a decision to follow them back or not. Just a small backstory or biography is all that I need. Headcanons also work if there isn’t an about page but must have about one page worth for me to consider following.

4b. Crossover Characters from other shows are allowed to follow me but I must know about said muse or else I’ll have a hard time whether to follow or not. Few fandoms I won’t interact with because I have no interest in these series are: Avatar the Last Airbender, Avatar the Legend of Korra. ( more to be added ).

5. I am a multi-ship blog. All ships are separate in their own standings. A little less than half of my muses are between the ages of 15-18 and then the rest are in the 20-30 range. As such, I will only be shipping them romantically with muses their own age. Some threads may get a little spicy for those 20-30 age groups but nothing that requires a ‘ do not read at work’ type of posts. I will tag those post that are suggestive with a ‘spicy: tw & spicy for ts’ for blacklisting purposes.

5a. I am open to all kinds of ships, not just romantic ones. I also enjoy platonic, rivalry, and familiar bonds. All ships are open to discussions through my IM(s) or otherwise known as Instant Messenger. Chemistry is key. As long as we interact a little, there’s always the chance that both muses can be in a relationship.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just irl ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

6a. This blog will contain sensitive themes from time to time. However, I will tag common things like those mentioned below. If you need anything tagged, please let me know through instant messaging / IMs. Things I’ll tag for you are but not limited to: BLOOD, GORE, DEATH, BODY HORROR, EYE HORROR, INSECTS, MAGGOTS, BRUISES, SCARS, GUNS, KNIVES, CLOWNS.  

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with and also the fact that some of the muses found here are MINORS which is a big huge NO. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

7a. If I see any form of hate and I find out it was you that sent it, I will immediately BLOCK you. No questions asked. Life is too short to send unwanted hate, anon or not. All anon hate and hate towards me and my characters ( s ) in general will be reported and then blocked, no questions asked.

8. My pen name on here is SERE. Obliviously, that is not my real name but it’s what I go by. It’s short for ‘Serena’, the English name that DIC gave Usagi Tsukino in the Americanized version of Sailor Moon. It’s pronounced; SIR-REE.

9. I am not a meme source. If you need to reblog a meme from my blog and don’t plan to send me anything, reblog from the source. I hardly get asks as it is, and for you to just use me as a meme source puts a bad taste in my mouth and I feel like I’m being used, which isn’t a good feeling. If you wonder if you should send in a meme to me, please do. I love getting asks. I do hoard them from time to time like a dragon hoards treasure but I do get to them eventually. The more memes / asks, the merrier.

9a.  Feel free to turn inbox replies into threads. Just remember to make separate post when replying. Do not reblog threads not meant for you and don’t reblog my headcanons. It’s okay to reblog my asks though if you want them to be keepsakes on your own blog. Also, it’s alright to reblog musings and images from me.

10. I rather not be bothered by callout posts and any potential drama that might accumulate. I am just here to have fun and I hope everyone else can too. Life is too short to spend on certain things that don’t matter in the long run. If I see multiple call out posts from you in a single day or that’s all you post, I will quietly unfollow you.

11.  Out of character posts will be on here from time to time. Mostly talking about life in general or me venting once in a great while. If this annoys you, please remember that this is my blog, not yours. You are welcomed to unfollow / block at any time.

11a.  The best way to interact with me is to send memes / asks / inbox things. I am always up for unprompted things in my inbox. Also, my instant messenger is always open if someone needs to contact me out of character or to plot something. Don’t hesitate to talk to me. I will try my best to respond.

11b. Not interacting after a month or two with me and my blog will make me silently unfollow you or result in a soft block. Or if you don’t interact with me at all, even out of character. Also, if you are gone for more than 6 months, I consider your blog inactive and will probably assume that you aren’t going to return.

12. I’m really laid-back in nature so don’t feel pressure to reply to anything I send to you. I understand that life happens and that sometimes you just need to unwind from the stress of daily life.

13. For pronouns; either SHE/HER or THEY/THEM is okay with me. My orientation is DEMIROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I love anime, manga, video games, music, drawing, and writing. If you read all of this, then thank you! I won’t ask for passcodes but please still try to remember these at some point. That’s all I ask. <3.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well

#long post: tw #rules;; #mobile rules;; #laws;; #mobile laws;; #helpful;;

[kanashierihime]

English fanfiction to come

When you have too many ideas and you want to write them down even if it takes years to do it 😂.

Short abc of stories below. Help me decide priority of writing 😊

AoKuro (Kuroko No Basket)

Regrets (One shot) - Warning: Major Character Death. Kuroko remembers Middle School, his young love and the world of empty sympathy that stole his love away. 

 Can We Still Be Friends (Around 8 chapters not sure)- Warning: Depression, suicidal thought - Kuroko and Aomine didn’t see each other for two years after being thrown away from the team of Miracles . Everything change when while doing his shopping he spots Aomine’s mother who asks him if he maybe could visit her son in the mental hospital. 

Wish (4 chapters) -  Aomine was bored. Everything was boring. New team, new rivals. Boredom created his life, till one day he wakes up from his nap in a cat body. Just what the hell?! 

Chrisawa (Daiya No A) 

You Get My Love  (around 10 chapters not sure) Warning: Depression, Homophobia, yips - Sawamura tries hard to blend into a team, but everyone just reminds him that he isn’t needed. The only person that actually cares about him is his mentor- Chris. He still loud and stubborn to be an ace, but then yips happened and he just couldn’t win over this. So he goes back to Nagano feeling worse than ever. He failed everyone. But surprisingly his mentor still visits him making Sawamura’s heart do some weird backflips. 

Forget ur books (4 chapters).  Sawamura was cursed as a child for disrespecting minor god. Now every time he read book he can make it real around him. So his family reminds him to read in a closed house to not affect the city in this weird magic. But one day while Sawamura is reading some of the history book no one noticed that one of the windows is open, turning the city into a place where nothing is normal. Especially not these warriors with swords ready to cut anyone in their way. 

Mirror (2 chapters) Warning: Cheating, coming out. Chris is working a doctor busy with his carrier. He has a wife but their marriage isn’t happy.  But then one day to his clinic came a young boy (who wasn’t so young) who made his heart skip a bit with his smile and nice words. 

BakuDeku (Boku No Hero Academia) 

(Don’t comment how most of these fics have P!nk song as a title, her song are just A+ okay? xD)

Trapped Mind (5 chapters) Warning: Angst, Hurt, Addiction to drug, alcohol, sex, depression, suicidal attempt, memory lost.  Izuku fell into his own trap of being a perfect hero. Katsuki not wanting to see his friends being judged to death by being just human that can make mistakes, decide to play the bad guy and till Izuku won’t get his memories back. But this task is far harder than any mission he did so far. Being hated by everyone left him trapped in a dead-end. 

Who Am I (5 chapters) Warning: Toxic parental love, Memory lost, bullying, depression.  Izuku moves to USA as a child after his accident where he loses half of his right leg. His mother is warry of everyone in his surroundings, she doesn’t want him to go back to Japan and meet with a person she blames of being responsible for his accident. But Izuku is having enough of being trapped in her arms and want to find out who he is, who he was before his mother decided to create him as a weak man.

90 Days (4 chapters?) Warning: angst. Izuku always wanted to repair his friendship with Katsuki. Wanted to laugh with him, study, going out. But reality showed that it’s not possible. Katsuki found new friends, people he likes to hang out. Their second year in UA and Katsuki b-day was the last straw to kill his heart. Seeing his friend laughing with their classmates, not being bothered by all these hugs and photos. Izuku runs away to his dorm room to cry his eyes out. And decides to go over Kacchan by the end of 90 days.

Walk Me Home (6 chapters) Izuku has autism that prevents him from having normal life. His only friend is Katsuki who seems enoying spending his time with Deku. But hearing his mom talking to his dad about her fears of him not being able to function without their help, to even find a job since meeting with people often ends with him having a panic attack. He wants to change, he wants to show his mom and Katsuki that he can be a proper part of society. But for that, he needs Kacchan help. 

Secrets (10 chapters) Warning: Child abuse, Angst, pedophilia. Deku is a vocalist in Katsuki band with Kaminari, Tokoyami, Awase. Deku is the only person who can deal with Katsuki moods and can sing the song their drummer creates. Fans and media have their fun wondering what is the relationship between them. Deku also wonders what is his relationship with Kacchan and why he can’t sing his own songs. 

Happy (around 10 chapters) Warning: Soulmate, angst, depression. Izuku loves heroes even tho he wasn’t born with a quirk, but he don’t have time to dream since his family life isn’t so happy. His dad found his true soulmate and his mom lost her mind over broken heart since for her his dad was her soulmate. Izuku from his young days must watch out for his mom, and every day he prays to not find her dead when he returns home.  Even meeting All Might didn’t make him eager to focus in hero path. He refuse All Might to be a hero, he doesn’t have time and his mom would go crazy if he would left her side. Wanting to save Kacchan was just a short thought of ending his misery. But somehow Deku ends up in UA in GE curse. And soon he finds up that his Soulmate is Kirishima. He feels how his body is changing because of it thing he doesn’t realize that Katsuki isn’t happy to find out.

Silent Scream (5 chapters) Warnings: Bullying. Izuku has troubles with speaking, so his parents showed him sign langue which find out more fun and enjoyable. But soon fun times ends when he ends up with the same kindergarten as Katsuki who wants to make him speak no matter what.  Everything goes in the far worse direction the moment when Katsuki gets his quirk. Not being able to control his new ability he goes too far with the explosion that made Izuku lose his hearing in the left ear.  (okay so it;s “A Silent Voice” but in MHA AU xD) 

Hurt 2b Human (DUNNO) Warning: angst, war, A/B/O, death. They say that Alpha ones are people that were blessed by gods. Omega were fruits of sweet desire for happiness. Katsuki was an Alpha. Japanese Solider who gonna die in Death Chamber any moment. No one knows why Japan lost the war. The only thing he knows that Russia won and now he gonna die.  Or maybe there is a hope? 

Timebomb (12 chapters) Fantasy AU. Katsuki and Deku fights with the evil mistresses who seeing that she can lose to them decide to split them apart and send Izuku to a different dimension. Katsuki roar with the grief of losing his mate. He captures his enemy to only learn that she can't bring him back. There is no way he gonna see his Deku again. But he can’t give up. He asks Uraraka for help and she creates a necklace to send him to other worlds, tho it will be random... So there he is going through 10 worlds to find his mate and return home with him. 

Dream of the Death ( 5 chapters)  Warning: major character death. Katsuki has few regrets in life. The biggest is telling his friend to kill himself.  But then by villain attack he is sent to the past where Izuku is alive. Soon he realizes that whatever he says to Izuku doesn’t go through. So he changes his tacting and go to his younger self and please him to save Izuku. 

Bonus story: Ten Times where Izuku got hit by quirk and made Katsuki ask himself of his sexuality (10 chapters) 

Haikyuu!!

Different way of love (3 chapters) Warning: Angst, Homophobia, depression, suicide, dealing with lose.  Kuroo thinks he has nice life. Good friends, a lovely boyfriend, and a dog. Nothing to complain. Till in Sawamura’s life show up his first love and things go not the way Kuroo thought it would.  Sawamura is dealing with depression, love issues, and past that can't be really forgotten. Life isn’t an easy mission.

Neko Love (4 chapters) Warning: Abuse.  Yokai had it enough of being ruled by weak humans. They started a revolution against them and won. Now people are their slaves and taste how yokais felt when humans bullied them for ages. Kuroo is a nekomata. He loves living in Sawamura household. He supposed to leave or rule over his past masters but he can’t find a strength to abuse his young master.

Tengu’s Book (6 chapters) Warning: abuse. Kuroo has the worst luck in the world. He was born with these strange powers and thanks to them he can see yokais. Not very pleasant thing to see. People usually are wary of him and are afraid of his weird looks and muttering.  Kuroo is used to being alone. Till one day he meets a tengu who gives him an offer. He gonna be his bodyguard for finding his wings. What can go wrong?

Dragon’s Heart (5 chapters) Warning: Slight angst. Fantasy AU. Iwaizumi is a dragon rider but the thing is, he seems to not being able to bond with his dragon so after his school is destroyed by Demons he searches for beasts master Sawamura who was cursed by Demons to be able to talk with monsters and was thrown from society. Their meeting is awkward. Sawamura can’t really speak human langue since humans usually avoid him and Iwaizumi can’t deal with his responsibilities as a warrior. 

Your Heartbeats (one shot) part of my Soulmate AU. Warning: Homophobia. Kuroo meets Bokuto in middle school and for the first time in his short life can feel his heartbeat. Bokuto was looking at him with the same confusion and happiness. All good vibes ended five minutes later when another player commented on how gross they were and should cure this. But does being in love is a really bad thing? Even if it between the same gender? 

Let me be drunk for now (5 chapters) Publish AU created by @bringmemyqueen  I like this idea so I gonna write something in it. Daichi has enough of his work, of people in his work. Why he seems to attract only men? Doesn’t he deserve some nice lady waiting for him at home? So every night he goes to a bar to drink and forget about his coworkers. He doesn’t know that this nice guy who keeps talking to him while drinking his beer is an author who works under Oikawa. But Iwaizumi is nice and his hands are warm when he touches him.

Where is my fun (one shot) Kenma prefers to stay home and play his videogames. It is his day off, so he has plans of not going out all day. But his friend has a different idea and god. Kenma can’t refuse him.

Bad Guy (one shot) It all started as a simple admiration. Watching Sawamura in action gave him chills. Even his old captain didn;t made him feel this way. He wanted to be tamed by this plain captain so he went to Karasuno to just see the object of his obsession, no big plans for it. Then this weird duo was screaming to him to leave their Queen alone and he barely remembered that cute glasses girl he was focused at Karasuno’s Captain that looked at him with such intensity that Terushima wanted to crawl to him and beg for something he never wanted to do before. 

That is freaking long. XD Thank for reading :) 

In MHA I wish i could write for different pairing alone fics but it just didn’t click in with me to try it. I’m still try to figure out some characters so their appearing in my fic won’t be a total disaster. (I’m looking at you Inasa xD)

#my stuff #aokuro #chrisawa #bkdk #bakudeku #iwadai #kurodai #terudai #bokuro #kenhima

[multimetaverse]

Tyrus in 3c

I’ve gotten a lot of asks about what might happen with Tyrus in the rest of the season and I’ll use this post to answer them all. We can already tell by the fact that they started this story line without the audience actually knowing that TJ is gay and that he and Kira only have 3 eps left that most of this plot is going to be subtextual and off-screen. Things have to end on at least a strained note for Tyrus in 3x15, the real question is whether they reconcile in 3x19 or if they only end up on good terms again as they confess in 3x21. The latter is always an option with Disney’s restrictions but there are some reasons to be cautiously optimistic that we’ll get the former and I have to blindly hope that TJ and Cyrus won’t be made into victims and will be allowed to be the heroes of their own stories. This will be a long post but tldr: what we know of Kira’s screen-time suggests that she’s largely redeemed by the finale, some sort of big gesture is likely needed for TJ to truly apologize to Cyrus like a rap or hug, it’s noteworthy that TJ’s scenes in 3x19 are all at school, and there are some interesting similarities between what’s going on with Jandi and Tyrus and noticeable differences between what’s going on with those ships and Muffy.

TJ and Kira have 3 eps left while Marty has 4-5 and Amber has 6 so already we can tell which story lines are most important. TJ disappears for three eps after 3x15 which is the longest he’s been away since he returned this season and the longest they seem willing to let the important love interests be off-screen. The gap is largely because the wedding is in 3x18 and TJ isn’t allowed to be there but eps 16-18 are likely to span at least several weeks in universe and suggests an opportunity for off screen growth and change on his part. Perhaps most importantly we know for the finale that Raquel was only on set for one day and that was the same day that all of the other main and recurring kids were on set so Kira is not going to get very much screen-time in the finale which along with the fact that she is even at the party suggests she’s already on good terms with Cyrus and TJ.

We know that Raquel was on set for only one day for 3x15 and it seems likely that Luke was only on set for a day as well during the filming of an outdoor basketball game with teen boy players; probably the same set up we saw in 3x13. This must be where Cyrus tries to talk with TJ but doesn’t really get anywhere, it will be interesting to see how angsty of a note they end on and if it’s meant to be something that sticks with us or something that they want us to forget about until 3x19. Fwiw it does look like TJ is wearing the same camo hoodie in 3x15 as he was in 3x07 so an angsty callback to’’ you’re the only person I can talk to like this’’ may be in the cards. Raquel never posted from set during 3x19 (presumably that’s when she appears though if she for some reason needed to have solo scenes with Cyrus she could potentially appear in 3x16 or 3x17). She wasn’t seen in any of the casts posts from that week so she likely wasn’t on set for more than a day for that ep either. 

Three days of filming spread over 3 eps means Kira will be lucky to have more than 5 minutes of screen-time the rest of the season and that her redemption arc will have to be fairly quick. I have to hope that her redemption arc will begin in 3x15 when she realizes or is made to realize the hurt she’s caused TJ and Cyrus. Since Raquel confirmed that Kira knows what’s up with Tyrus I’d expect that the only way to redeem her would be for her to become TJ’s Buffy and support him in his sexuality as Buffy has with Cyrus which would mostly happen off screen but since they’re willing to let them have solo scenes could begin in 3x15, maybe with Kira offering to hear TJ out if he wants to talk. We need to see something from her that shows that she’s not an evil person and that she can learn to do the right thing. 

I’d expect this plot line to look like a peer pressure/manipulation/being true to yourself plot line to little kids and the fear of homophobia story line it is supposed to be for older audiences. It looks like they’re trying to show a coming out story line where the fear isn’t internalized homophobia such as it was with Cyrus but external homophobia but I think that difference will escape much of the audience. We’ve seen TJ be so happy to hang with Cyrus at school or the park or at the spoon or at his work or with his friends so I wonder what little kids think of him suddenly being afraid to be seen matching with Cyrus. 

Where does this leave Cyrus after 3x15? Again the audience has never had it confirmed that Cyrus likes TJ so that affects how the audience sees this conflict. Is he going to be allowed to talk about what’s going on with his friends or will this just be ignored until 3x19? Letting TJ be able to have solo scenes with Kira means that the show can wall this plot off from the rest of the show until 3x19 which is the route they’re going, I fear. 

For Cyrus I think this will primarily look to him like TJ is ashamed to be close to him which is why I find it noteworthy that TJ is at school in 3x19 especially since before the re-shoots 3x19 was the last time the show filmed scenes at school. Cyrus feeling that TJ doesn’t want to be close to him would be devastating for Cyrus even if he’s not allowed to express it on screen. They had TJ say I’m sorry for the first time in 3x13 and he can say it again to Cyrus but I think TJ needs to show Cyrus that he’s important to him. 

Jonah left Cyrus upset after refusing to wear their matching jackets in S1 and even though Jonah didn’t realize or care the hurt he caused Cyrus he did end up making it up to him by publicly praising him at the awards dinner and giving him a space otters jersey and a hug. I don’t think TJ’s apology would get anywhere near that level of attention but I think another rap is likely but this time it’s a more personal message from TJ to Cyrus. Or something like a hug or a callback to’’ He’s with me’’ from 2x08, something that shows Cyrus that he’s important to TJ. I’d imagine Kira would have to help out with whatever spurs their reconciliation so the audience at least doesn’t hate her anymore. I’m not saying TJ has to jump on stage and rap or hug Cyrus on stage but some sort of moment at the school in front of at least a couple of other people is needed for Tyrus to move past this conflict.

Luke was on set for two days in 3x19 and he and Josh had at least one wardrobe change so we’re probably looking at more than one day in universe. The potential Jandi and Tyrus scenes at the game could be very important as I’ll get in to in a bit. It also looks like TJ may have scenes with Buffy and Cyrus and Cyrus has a scene with Gus in the theatre which suggests Cyrus is getting more focus than usual and could be set up for a callback to 3x13 where Cyrus was miserable on stage but in 3x19 he’s happy. 

So far in S3 Tyrus has been cycling through all their big moments: muffin, swings, dyscalculia, and somersaults. If the pattern holds we should get a look back in 3x15. I do think the audience needs something to show that TJ is gay and has a crush on Cyrus if this plot is to have any hope of succeeding. It mirrors something that @cyrusgoodboye noted after S2 aired; that in 2x12 Andi listed all the things Jonah had failed to do in what she thought was their relationship and then in 2b Jonah did all those things in the order she listed as they rekindled their relationship. 

One thing that really caught my eye in 3x13 is the out of nowhere Jandi/Tyrus parallel they threw in with both Jonah and TJ letting down Andi and Cyrus (though for obviously different reasons). All of the GHC have a thing for sporty white guys but Andi and Cyrus have a more specific type: green eyed captains with hidden depths and secrets and poor coping mechanisms; which is why the both liked Jonah in S1. Andi and Cyrus are more alike than they are with Buffy just as Jonah and TJ are more alike than they are with Marty. Jonah and TJ have been written as foils from the beginning of TJ’s arc and the show even invented a past for them and has now established them as friends. 

In contrast things are going much smoother for Muffy. The show could have dug into Marty icing Buffy out but the show blamed Buffy and dismissed it out of hand. That’s not to say they won’t have drama and angst but ‘’the boy I like has a girlfriend’’  is an order of magnitude less than the issues Andi and Jonah and Cyrus and TJ are facing. What’s also interesting is that Muffy is the only endgame couple that are together by the wedding. We know that Machel sinks in 3x17 as Marty is at the wedding in 3x18; he’s not there as Buffy’s platonic plus one. But obviously Tyrus doesn’t canon until 3x21 and Jonah singing You Girl to Andi isn’t until 3x20 which seems like that’s the big Jandi get back together moment. So both Jandi and Tyrus having scenes together in 3x19 shortly before they canon is very interesting timing and opens up the potential for more endgame parallels.

Another reason I think there may be another rap is that Terri does like to recycle her work and Cyrus realized his crush on TJ during the first rapology and during the second he could realize that TJ likes him back; it’s like poetry it rhymes. It would also create another parallel between Tyrus and Jandi as both of their love interests make a big gesture. 

That’s not to say that Tyrus will get anywhere near the attention Jandi or even Muffy gets, it’s far too late for that, but it is interesting that the writers seem to be linking Tyrus with Jandi more so than Muffy; it does suggest a certain ambition on their part even if those ambitions are frustrated. 

There are lots of interesting paths for the show to take in 3x19, but as always when it involves Cyrus’ story line, it’s a question of what they’ll be allowed to do. We have Andi and Jonah and Cyrus and TJ in the same scenes for only the 3rd time in the show and the first time they’ve been at the same game since 2x18. There’s potential for Jonah to call back to his ‘’are they friends’’ line and they’ve gone out of their way to make Jonah and TJ friends, will there be any pay off to that? Jonah knows that Cyrus is gay and knows what a look back means, Andi knows that Cyrus is gay and suspects TJ has a crush on Cyrus and is only allowed into Cyrus’ sexuality story line rarely, Buffy would be at the game and she knows that Cyrus is gay and suspects that TJ has a crush on Cyrus and has always been Cyrus’ staunchest supporter, hell Cyrus even has scenes at the spoon with Amber who knows what look backs mean.

The posters we saw in 3x07 spell out the endgame of all this; for TJ to take pride in who he is and for Kira to learn to respect others. Does TJ resuming his openly affectionate ways give Cyrus the confidence to decide to come out to him? The narrative is asking TJ to in a fairly quick time span be okay with being out to the whole world; something it has never demanded of Cyrus. With Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Kira all knowing about them does that mean Cyrus and TJ will be allowed to act coupley in front of everyone at the party after they confess or can only those four other characters know? Does TJ even have scenes with Marty and Amber? Bex and Bowie are at the party and Bex likely knows that Cyrus is gay from their talk in 2x07 and both of them know who TJ is from 2x18, are they allowed to be the supportive adults who congratulate Cyrus or must they be kept in the dark as well? I can only hope that Terri managed to convince Gary Marsh  to  let her pull off a satisfying arc in these remaining eps

#Andi Mack #Tyrus #TJ Kippen #Cyrus Goodman #Kira #Jonah Beck #Buffy Driscoll #Jandi #Muffy #Andi Mack Meta #Andi Mack Season 3

[trickstruth-a]

Rules

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me.  Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

1a. I will not interact with non-Mutuals, that includes asks, unless it’s done anonymously and it doesn’t have a url attached. Anyone who breaks this rule will get about a few pardons but after that will be blocked.

2. My time is limited here in what I can do. This means that I am very selective in what I reply to. Doesn’t necessary mean that I am ignoring anyone. Some days I reply to everything and everyone, others I am so burnt out from irl things or work that I just lurk and do the bare minimum. My mental health and well-being comes before anything else.

2a. Replies vary by length and time. I normally work eight to ten hours a day and experience a lot of exhaustion. Unless I don’t see a thread or an ask going anywhere and publicly make a post saying it’s been dropped, consider everything as pending / will do ASAP. Memes are okay to send in late unless it clearly states, not accepting. My timezone is Eastern Standard Time or EST. United States is where I am located at. I am usually online from 10 PM EST to 3 AM EST unless it’s a day off from work, which the online time will vary from 12 PM EST to 3 AM EST.

2b.  Role-playing is a hobby, not a job. Do not pester me for replies or asks to be answered. I am not obligated to owe anyone anything on this website. I am human and can’t cater to everyone’s needs.  Being persistent here is not going to make me answer yours faster than other people.

2c. Don’t follow, unfollow, and then refollow my blog. It’s not going to make me want to follow you back, ever. It’s annoying and no one is being crafty by doing that. If you continue to do this and it isn’t a tumblr glitch, I will be inclined to block and possibly report for spam.

3. If you do need to break mutuals with me, HARD BLOCK my blog. Don’t just UNFOLLOW or SOFT BLOCK because chances are that I could mistakenly follow you again. And that’s something we both don’t want since it would be quite awkward.

3a. I have the right to unfollow whoever I want to and so do you. Please don’t go on a hunt and try to guilt trip me into following you back again. Just don’t. I can and will tell you the reason why I unfollowed you but other than that, just let me leave in peace.

3b. Personal blogs and non RP blogs will be blocked on sight. Please, if you have a side blog let me know through asks so I don’t accidentally block you. IMs are not a good way to let me know since they are closed for non-mutuals.

4. Duplicates are welcomed to follow me. The more the merrier. I do not suffer from same muse anxiety and encourage any of the same muse to follow me. Only request is that you don’t steal my headcanons, edits or icons. Other than that, we should all be able to have a good time. I’m always up for twin verses or alternate universes shenanigans.

4a. Original Characters are allowed to follow me. However, they need to be a little flesh out before I make a decision to follow them back or not. Just a small backstory or biography is all that I need. Headcanons also work if there isn’t an about page but must have about one page worth for me to consider following.

4b. Crossover Characters from other shows are allowed to follow me but I must know about said muse or else I’ll have a hard time whether to follow or not. Few fandoms I won’t interact with because I have no interest in these series are: Avatar the Last Airbender, Avatar the Legend of Korra. ( more to be added ).

5. I am a multi-ship blog. All ships are separate in their own standings. Goro is 17 in the ORIGINAL game and ROYAL remake. I will only ship him romantically with muses that are in the ages between 15 years to 17 years of age ( for the ORIGINAL and ROYAL remake only ).

5a. I am open to all kinds of ships, not just romantic ones. I also enjoy platonic, rivalry, and familiar bonds. All ships are open to discussions through my IM(s) or otherwise known as Instant Messenger.  Chemistry is key. As long as we interact a little, there’s always the chance that both muses can be in a relationship.

5b.  Is there any ship that you do NOT want forced on you?: I personally don’t ship AkeShu / ShuAke ( the Protagonist x Goro Akechi ). Please don’t force this ship on me. I’ll only except a slow burn for both characters and only that when both the other mun and myself agree to do this.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just irl ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

6a. This blog will contain sensitive themes from time to time. However, I will tag common things like those mentioned below. If you need anything tagged, please let me know through instant messaging / IMs. Things I’ll tag for you are but not limited to: BLOOD, GORE, DEATH, BODY HORROR, EYE HORROR, INSECTS, MAGGOTS, BRUISES, SCARS, GUNS, KNIVES, CLOWNS.  

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with and Goro is a minor. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

7a. If I see any form of hate and I find out it was you that sent it, I will immediately BLOCK you. No questions asked. Life is too short to send unwanted hate, anon or not. All anon hate and hate towards me and my characters ( s ) in general will be reported and then blocked, no questions asked.

8. My pen name on here is SERE. Obliviously, that is not my real name but it’s what I go by. It’s short for ‘Serena’, the English name that DIC gave Usagi Tsukino in the Americanized version of Sailor Moon. It’s pronounced; SIR-REE.

9. I am not a meme source. If you need to reblog a meme from my blog and don’t plan to send me anything, reblog from the source. I hardly get asks as it is, and for you to just use me as a meme source puts a bad taste in my mouth and I feel like I’m being used, which isn’t a good feeling. If you wonder if you should send in a meme to me, please do. I love getting asks. I do hoard them from time to time like a dragon hoards treasure but I do get to them eventually. The more memes / asks, the merrier.

9a.  Feel free to turn inbox replies into threads. Just remember to make separate post when replying. Do not reblog threads not meant for you and don’t reblog my headcanons. It’s okay to reblog my asks though if you want them to be keepsakes on your own blog. Also, it’s alright to reblog musings and images from me.

10.  I usually am not considered spoiler free. However, I do tag recent released games, which is Persona 5 Scramble. All other games in the Persona 5 series ( original game, dancing in starlight, pq2, and royal ) will NOT be tagged. Follow at your own risk to avoid spoilers.

10a.  Knowledge in the Persona series is about ABOVE AVERAGE, please don’t keep pointing out mistakes. I know and will correct them due time.

10b. Please tag the popular ship AkeShu / ShuAke ( Goro Akechi x Persona 5 Protagonist ) / ( Persona 5 Protagonist x Goro Akechi ). I am not a fan of this ship at all and would request it to tagged at all times. Tags can be as simple as ‘akeshu’ and ‘shuake’.

11. I rather not be bothered by callout posts and any potential drama that might accumulate. I am just here to have fun and I hope everyone else can too. Life is too short to spend on certain things that don’t matter in the long run. If I see multiple call out posts from you in a single day or that’s all you post, I will quietly unfollow you.

12.  Out of character posts will be on here from time to time. Mostly talking about life in general or me venting once in a great while. If this annoys you, please remember that this is my blog, not yours. You are welcomed to unfollow / block at any time.

12a.  The best way to interact with me is to send memes / asks / inbox things. I am always up for unprompted things in my inbox. Also, my instant messenger is always open if someone needs to contact me out of character or to plot something. Don’t hesitate to talk to me. I will try my best to respond.

12b.  Not interacting after a month or two with me and my blog will make me silently unfollow you or result in a soft block. Or if you don’t interact with me at all, even out of character. Also, if you are gone for more than 6 months, I consider your blog inactive and will probably assume that you aren’t going to return.

13. I’m really laid-back in nature so don’t feel pressured to reply to anything I send to you. I understand that life happens and that sometimes you just need to unwind from the stress of daily life.

14. For pronouns; either SHE/HER or THEY/THEM is okay with me. My orientation is DEMIROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I love anime, manga, video games, music, drawing, and writing. If you read all of this, then thank you! I won’t ask for passcodes but please still try to remember these at some point. That’s all I ask. <3.

**DISCLAIMERS.

This revived blog has been established since May 23rd, 2020. Independent and not affiliated with any role play group. Written by SERE.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well ).

#long post: tw #[ Hi. Welcome to Chili's. OOC ] #rules;; #laws;; #rules / laws;;

[shraqsmuses]

Weird ask, I know, but what would your muses advice be, for folks who've had a horrid day, in regards to cheering said individual up?

Plain Doll: "Remember that every moment you spend in reality isn't spent within the depths of your mind. Reality can either delightfully surprise you or disappoint you in ways that your mind can't fathom at times. Take the time to fully appreciate the moments where life has delightfully surprised you on its own whim and use the times that life has disappointed you to grow and let you fully appreciate what you have."

Kat: "Hmm... It's not like it's your last day in this world, right? I went through some pretty rough situations myself but I find that I always come out of them alive! Of course, it takes a while to get past the trauma of a few particularly scathing events but I won't let those events bring me down. Always remember that there's more than one way to cope with the trauma of something that happened in the past."

Aigis: "Everyone is human, including me. When someone has supposedly 'wronged' you, perhaps they didn't do so to increase your agitation or to let you hate them. Remember that everyone is as much of a human as you are and that they all have their own goals like you do, even if their goals differ from yours. Always be ready to forgive the people who have 'wronged' you, even if it takes them some time to forgive you themselves."

Peach: "Oh dear! Did you have an awful day, anon? I just want to hug you and give you a lot of kisses and say that everything will be alright but... Maybe that's the kind of comfort you wouldn't want at the moment. Remember that you'll always have people in your life that are willing to comfort you and help you with whatever is troubling you, dear."

Shiek: "Don't let one bad day get to you too much. Even if it does, remember that you can spend another day to improve yourself and fix the problems that you might've caused in the past."

R. Mika: "Uh... I don't exactly know how to answer that kind of question. I have some bad days myself but I can move on from them pretty easily unless something happens in that day that REALLY messes me up. When that happens, my good pal Nadeshiko is always there to cheer me up. I have to give her a lot of credit for everything she's done with me. If I didn't have her, I wouldn't be as great of a wrestler than I am today! Find someone that you can rely on and see if they're willing to help you out. I can assure that doing that will help you cope with your bad day more easily than you think it should be! It looks like I really do know how to answer a question like that!"

Karin: "I just want to let you know that striving for perfection is something that my family chooses to do. Not everyone is able to be perfect, including the Kanzukis. Keep that in mind when you do anything. I don't want to force my ideals of perfection onto anyone, even my lovely piggy. I'll let her gain and lose as much weight as she wants to. It just happens to be that she wants to gain as much weight as she can~. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't let anyone's ideals deter you from pursuing your goals, including mine. You're perfect just the way you are~."

Echo: "If Overwatch was still around, I would say that they'll make your day better but... They're not around. At least they're not around at the moment. The point I want to make is that although the people you trust the most may not always have the time to help you, don't forget that there will always be other people that are willing to help you, like me!"

2B: "I know that humanity has gone through many tragedies. Despite that, however, they… Uh… At least the humans in your world are still alive. Be grateful that all of humanity, including you, is still alive. If your kind can endure hundreds of tragedies, then I believe that you'll be able to endure one bad day."

Palutena: "Hmm… I imagine that one bad day must be pretty rough on a human. All I can say is that you should be like Pit. Don't let your supposed 'weaknesses' bring you down and don't be afraid to ask for help from other people if you're having trouble with something. I hope that that advice can make you feel better."

Baiken: "As someone who has gone through plenty of bad days, I have a lot to say to people who have gone through a bad day but for now, I'll just tell you this. If I can give up on my quest of vengeance against the man who made my life a lot worse than it was before, then I believe that you're able to let go of any grudges that you might hold against the people who have previously made your day worse."

Hotaru: "Eating a good meal always cheers me up. Is that bad advice to give you at the moment? I wouldn't know. I just hope that tomorrow will be a better day for you. Hmm… Do you want some candy? Candy always makes me happy after I eat it~."

Tae Yamada: "Ugh blurgh… mmrph." Tae slowly walked up to you and gave you a large hug while she nuzzled her head against your cheeks. Just know that Tae likes everyone she meets.

Zatanna: "Whenever I feel bad, I perform some magic tricks to myself so I can cheer myself up. If you have a hobby that makes you happy whenever you do it, then I would suggest that you should do your hobby whenever you feel bad. That should make you happier without putting too much effort into doing so."

Spider-Gwen: "Uh… Hmm… Do you have friends that you can talk to? I would suggest that you should talk to them about your bad day. They can give you ways to cope with it. Spider-People always look like they work alone but they always have other people in their lives that help them become who they are."

[paigcmascn]

 reallifehq task one: playlists

i had WAY too much fun making this ( even though it was completely time consuming … ) ! below, you will find the lyrics from each song that stand out to paige, thus reflecting why she put them on her playlist !

90 days - p!nk ft. wrabel

if i'm just somebody that you're gonna leave and you don't feel something when you look at me; you're holdin' my heart, mmm, whatcha say? just let me down slowly, i'll be okay. if you're just some habit that i gotta break; i can clear my system in 90 days. you're holdin' my heart, mmm, whatcha say? just let me down slowly.

bohemian rhapsody - panic! at the disco

too late, my time has come. sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. goodbye, everybody, i've got to go. gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. mama, ooh, i don't want to die. i sometimes wish i’d never been born at all.

broken halos - chris stapleton

don't go looking for the reasons. don't go asking jesus why? we're not meant to know the answers. they belong to the by and by.

drunk me - mitchell tenpenny

some people don't know when to quit and that's why they quit. some need to hit the bottom to see they got a problem, they can't handle it; but that ain't why i started cleaning up my life. wish it was but, ooh, that would be a lie.

dysfunctional ft. big scoob & krizz kaliko - tech n9ne

i'm a little dysfunctional, don't you know? if you push me, it might be bad. get a little emotional, don't you know? you could fool around and make me mad.

hurts 2b human  - p!nk ft. khalid

hope flows away. if you could spend a day in my shoes, your mind would change. if you'd known what i've gone through. we want the same. maybe then you'll understand how it hurts to be human.

i think i’m okay ft. yungblud & travis barker - machine gun kelly

satch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night. catch me, I'm the one on the run away from the headlights. no sleep, up all week wasting time with people i don't like. i think something's fucking wrong with me.

king of my heart - taylor swift

is the end of all the endings? my broken bones are mending with all these nights we're spending up on the roof with a school girl crush, drinking beer out of plastic cups. say you fancy me, not fancy stuff. baby, all at once, this is enough.

like i ain’t - tech n9ne

like i ain't rich, like i ain't sold not a ne'er record platinum or ne'er gold. like i ain't dripped, like i ain't froze. like i ain't made a quarter mill' for a show. like I ain't big, like i ain't huge. like i ain't shit, like i ain't pay dues. like i ain't full, like i ain't cool. like i ain't build a empire in the zou. like i, like i ain't.

lights - journey

when the lights go down in the city and the sun shines on the bay. ooh, I wanna be there, yeah, in my city. oh, whoa, oh. oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh.

lose yourself - eminem

look, if you had one shot or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment; would you capture it or just let it slip?

nightmare - halsey

no, I won't smile, but I'll show you my teeth and I'ma let you speak if you just let me breathe. i've been polite, but won't be caught dead lettin' a man tell me what I should do in my bed. keep my exes in check in my basement 'cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent. i could play nice or i could be a bully. i'm tired and angry, but somebody should be.

river ft. ed sheeran - eminem

i've been a liar, been a thief. been a lover, been a cheat. all my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me. well, little one, i don't want to admit to something if all it's gonna cause is pain. truth and my lies right now are falling like the rain; so let the river run.

simple man - shinedown

oh take your time, don't live too fast. troubles will come, and they will pass. you'll find a woman, and you'll find love; and don't forget that, there is someone up above.

smells like teen spirit - nirvana

load up on guns, bring your friends. it's fun to lose and to pretend. she's over-bored and self-assured. oh no, I know a dirty word.

somethin’ bad ft. carrie underwood - miranda lambert

stand on the bar, stomp your feet, start clapping. i got a real good feeling something bad about to happen. drinks keep coming, throw my head back laughing. wake up in the morning' don't know what happened. 

take what you want ft. ozzy osborne & travis scott

i feel you crumble in my arms down to your heart of stone. you bled me dry just like the tears you never show. why don't you take what you want from me? take what you need from me. take what you want and go.  

teenagers - my chemical romance

teenagers scare the living shit out of me. they could care less as long as someone'll bleed. so darken your clothes or strike a violent pose. maybe they'll leave you alone but not me.

walls - all time low

i'm gonna break down these walls, i built around myself. i wanna fall so in love, with you, and no one else, could ever mean half as much, to me as you do now. together we'll move on, just don't turn around, let the walls break down.

you need to calm down - taylor swift

you just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace and control your urges to scream about all the people you hate 'cause shade never made anybody less gay.

youngblood - 5sos

lately our conversations end like it's the last goodbye. yeah, one of us gets too drunk and calls about a hundred times. so who you been calling, baby, nobody could take my place. when you're looking at those strangers, hope to god you see my face. 

#reallife.task #( playlist. )

[tuanyiems]

The Space Between Your Fingers 16

Mark Tuan x OC Genre: Fluff, angst, slice of life Words: 2.1k [Masterlist] [Series Masterlist] - [RECAP] She blushed, turning the knob of the door, while trying to keep composed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Wow, what a lie,” Yugyeom laughed, entering the house. “You two were—” “Hey kids,” Yugyeom’s mom interrupted. “Ahnmi,” Yugyeom’s dad added solemnly. “We need to talk.” Ahnmi watched as her aunt and uncle shuffled in their seats on the couch, her aunt’s hands nervously folded in her lap. “It’s about your school enrollment.” - Ch. 16: Walls Up “We talked to your parents over the phone today,” Mrs. Kim started, her eyes glancing towards her husband for reassurance. “They suggested you study abroad and—” “Why would Noona transfer schools again?” Yugyeom cut in, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “She did nothing wrong!” “We know that,” Mrs. Kim quipped back though her eyes softened when they returned to Ahnmi. “We really do know that, Ahnmi. But maybe this might be the best for you.” “Wow, I can’t believe you two!” Yugyeom yelled back. “Yugyeom,” his father reprimanded quietly.

“You know how it is in a small town,” her aunt went on. “People talk. I was at the market this evening and even the granny at the fruit stand knew about what happened.” “So what if people know? It’s not like she did anything wrong.” Yugyeom defended. Ahnmi fingered at the ends of her sleeves uncomfortably. She was suddenly feeling sick to her stomach. She didn’t want to come between Yugyeom and his parents. Suddenly it felt like watching her mom and dad argue with each other. And all because of her. “We know you did nothing wrong,” Mrs. Kim took Ahnmi’s hands in hers. “We just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable living here. The marketplace people,” her voice dropped to a whisper. “They know about the scars on your arms too. They’ve been talking about it.” “We’re suggesting this because we want to protect you,” Mr. Kim added. “It’ll be better for you to leave to some—” “You’re kicking your own niece out,” Yugyeom scoffed in disbelief. “What kind of aunt and uncle—” “Yugy,” Ahnmi spoke softly, hand placed firmly over his arm. “It’s okay, I understand.” She forced out a smile to her aunt and uncle. She knew they were only trying their best too. They had lived in this neighborhood for so long but all of a sudden she spends a few months here and they’re the talk of the town. She didn’t want to do that to them. She looked at the gentle eyes of her uncle and the nervous hands of her aunt. “Can you give me more time to think about this?” And with a quiet nod, Ahnmi got up and disappeared behind the door of her bedroom. The next morning Mark watched as Yugyeom exited his house alone. “Where’s Ahnmi?” Yugyeom only huffed in annoyance, shaking his head. “Tell the guys we need to meet up. My parents are being idiots and now Ahnmi won’t leave her room.” “They did something to her?” Mark arched his eyebrows with concern. “Maybe I should go talk to her.” Yugyeom shrugged his shoulders. “You can try. She hasn’t left her room since we got home last night. She’s pulling an Ahnmi.” “Pulling an Ahnmi?” Yugyeom sighed, “When bad things happen she just closes up and stops responding. Goes out of order.” Mark gave Yugyeom a look but held his tongue. Even if that was a thing she did. Why did he have to phrase it like that? Maybe Ahnmi had reason for closing up. Or maybe everyone around her was just not trying hard enough to get in? “Anyways,” Yugyeom went on as they made their way to school. “Tell the guys we need to meet during break.” Mark walked on silently, wondering why Yugyeom was being so mysterious. Even when his first period lesson began, he couldn’t shake off his worry. “You okay man?” Peniel nudged him after the class ended. Mark answered with a quiet sigh. “Did you see her yesterday?” “Who?” “Go Ahnmi.” Mark’s ears perked up as he jerked his body towards the voice. Two guys he didn’t recognize were standing outside the classroom. “Fuck, really? She came to school?” “Yeah a bunch of people saw her coming in around the end of the day. Said she was sitting in the garden by herself. Looked like she was waiting for you.” The other guy laughed. “Liar, you’re just trying to make me feel bad.” Mark’s face darkened as he watched the boy’s face spread into a derisive smile while the other egged him on. “Fuck yeah man, people said she was holding onto your letter!” “Piss off dude! You know I only wrote that cause I lost the bet.” “Yeah right, you guys were literally squealing about her just a week ago.” The guy sighed, chuckling to himself. “Good thing we found out about her before yesterday then. I dodged a bullet.” His friend laughed, pulling him into a headlock. “Yeah, it’s the pretty ones that are the craziest!” Mark bit his lip, his hands clenched in fists so tight his knuckles were turning white. He stood up from his seat, ready to fight those two guys when Peniel grabbed his wrist. He looked at Mark, shaking his head. “Don’t waste your time.” “I hate this whole school,” Mark groaned under his breath as he sat back down. He was so angry his eyes were beginning to water. He admittedly first felt dread at the idea of other guys trying to confess and date Ahnmi. He was being selfish. He wanted Ahnmi all to himself, wanted her to only look for him and smile for him. But when he saw the look on her face after reading the letter, she was puzzled and surprised but ever so slightly, her lips had raised into a hint of a smile. That was all he needed to let go of his own selfishness. If a love letter would bring Ahnmi happiness, despite his own jealousy, he resigned to be happy for her too. As long as it was just a letter of course. Even when she was coming out of the hospital, the letter had been on her mind. Even in that state, Ahnmi was still worrying about others instead of herself. And to think those guys were messing with her emotions, with her sincerity, as a joke! Mark wanted to smash their skulls. Maybe that would knock some sense into them. But it wasn’t just those guys Mark hated. He hated the silence of the whole school. Everyone was so quick to turn their backs on Ahnmi. A part of him was glad Ahnmi took a few days off from school. This building was so full of idiots. He just couldn’t understand the fickleness of everyone. The day before the festival students were literally vibrating in their seats at the thought of socializing with class 2B and meeting Ahnmi. Suddenly it was like a curse to even say her name. Where did their logic go when they decided to make Ahnmi out into the enemy? That shit just didn’t make sense. He didn’t even want to think about the silence from the teachers either. Mark grumbled in his seat, burying his head in the crook of his arm on top of his desk. Why did he even go to school today? He should’ve tried talking to Ahnmi. Even if he had to sit outside her room all day, it would’ve been better than having to be here. - “Why did you want us to meet?” Jaebum asked Yugyeom as all seven guys gathered in the student council office. Yugyeom sighed. “Do you guys know if anyone’s doing anything about Ahnmi’s perpetrators?” There was a moment of silence between all of them as Jaebum and Jinyoung sat with their eyes on the ground. Mark felt his anger flaring up again. “Faculty has been avoiding our inquiries,” Jinyoung finally admits. “We’ve had a history of bullying. All schools have it, it’s unavoidable,” Jaebum added. “But it seems the teachers have always been turning their eyes away because we’ve been an all-boys school until now. Now that the population has changed, and the severity of this case, nobody seems to know what they’re doing.” “So they’re going to just fucking ignore what happened?” Mark spoke up angrily, filling the room with even more tension. Only Jinyoung was able to look him back in the eye with a steady expression. “The student council is going to stand by Ahnmi no matter what, even if it means going to the police ourselves.” “But we’re trying to settle this internally before it can get to that point,” Jaebum interrupted. “The issue is that no one’s speaking up. There are no witnesses willing to give names of any of the perpetrators or even testify to seeing the bullying Ahnmi’s been receiving prior to the festival.” “Everyone’s afraid they’ll be the next target if they speak up,” Bambam spoke up dejectedly. “Well, whatever you guys are doing, you better do it faster,” Yugyeom mumbled, his brows knitted in silent frustration. “Ahnmi might be transferring schools again—abroad.” Mark felt his chest constrict with fear at the quiet confession, a chill running down his spine. “My parents were trying to convince her last night,” Yugyeom continued. His stoic expression broke into one of sadness. “I think she might listen to them this time.” “This time?” Jackson questioned, his brows knitted with similar sentiments. Yugyeom frowned, staring at his nervous fingers on the desk. “When Ahnmi transferred here from her old school, the original intention was to send her abroad.” Mark clenched his jaw, his finger nails digging into the palm of his hand from holding his fists so tightly. His eyes were tearing up out of anger and frustration again. All he could think about was why he was wasting his time sitting in an empty classroom right now? He should be with Ahnmi right now. “I have to go.” “We still have afternoon session.” But Mark was already running out of the room. - Ahnmi sat at the foot of her bed, staring blankly. She felt empty—like all her anxieties had been leading up to this moment so when it came it was almost like a big exhale. Except this exhale didn’t come with relief. It just felt never ending, like she would never be able to inhale again. She knew it was going to happen. Why did she even pretend to not? So she could keep false hope? So she could play pretend with Mark? Ahnmi didn’t want to think about Mark. It would only make her sad again. There was a knock on her door. Ahnmi just stared emptily at the lock on her door. She thought she was home alone but maybe her aunt left work early. “Hey,” the voice that filters through is barely above a whisper but Ahnmi’s heart pulses in surprise. “Can you open the door?” She only bites at her quivering lips, remaining at the foot of her bed. For what feels like the hundredth time since last night, Ahnmi’s eyes well up with hot tears. This was why she didn’t want to think about him. “Please,” he utters quietly behind the door. The tears slip from her eyes but she makes no move to get up. For a while things are just silent as Ahnmi cries to herself and if it weren’t for the shadow beneath the crack under her door, she would’ve thought he left. “Don’t cry, Mi,” he finally speaks up again, but his voice cracks and she knows he’s crying too. It makes her chest hurt even more. “You don’t have to open the door,” he begins again. “Just listen to me. I’m sorry. We’re all sorry we couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry Yugyeom’s parents and your parents are doing this. What they’re telling you really isn’t a solution at all. You can’t keep running away. You shouldn’t run away. There’s nothing you should be running away from. You did nothing wrong. You know that right?” Ahnmi shakes her head, wiping at her eyes with the sleeves of her sweater. She did so many things wrong. She shouldn’t have come to stay here in the first place. She shouldn’t have been so selfish. The biggest one seemed to be getting Mark involved. In the end, she just hurt the people around her. “Things won’t be the same if you leave,” Mark mutters. “Just…Just stay, okay? Don’t listen to anyone else, okay? Me and the guys, we’ve got your back. We’ll protect you this time.” Ahnmi’s heart longs to trust in his words. All she wants is to remain in his world. But her phone vibrates beside her and it brings her back to reality. A text from her dad is all she needs to pocket her hopes in the dark closet of her mind again. Ahnmi we’ll come get you tomorrow. - Thanks for reading! This series updates every Friday and Saturday 8PM EST.

#got7creators #got7 scenarios #got7 reactions #mark tuan fanfic #got7 imagines #kpop scenarios #series #the space between your fingers #ch 16

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 4x06 We Will Rise

We’re almost at the half point of season 4, and at the point where season 4 starts getting much better. This is not one my top episodes of the season, but it’s pretty solid.

Again, we follow  three plots in three locations: drama in the severely damaged Arkadia, where a lot of angry people want to kill Ilian for destroying their hope of finding shelter from Praimfaya, while Octavia, Kane, Jaha and Monty react to this in different ways; the road trip with Clarke, Bellamy and Roan, who are on the mission to bring incredibly important barrels of hydrazine to Becca’s lab, to make it possible to go to space and synthesize Nightblood; character drama in Becca’s lab, where is Raven struggling with her mental state and trying to make the trip to space possible, with a focus on the development of relationships with Murphy and Luna. We also see how, even in the face of the imminent disaster/end of the world, people still continue with their stupid wars between clans and screw up chances for everyone to get saved.

The episode continues right where the previous one ended, during the night, as Jaha is watching Arkadia burn.  What used to be Ark is severely damaged and, while half of it can still be used as living quarters, it’s useless as a shelter from radiation. Jaha is calm and looking at the Second Dawn logo that they’ve found in the bunker. He obviously believes that there must be another bunker and that he will find it, as aAt the end of the episode, he says the Second Dawn motto “From the ashes, we will rise”,

After waking up in a bed she shared with Niylah that night, Clarke is looking at her drawing of Lexa (the one she drew in 3x06), which she has put on the wall in her room, Niylah seems completely OK with being just a temporary rebound friend with benefit for Clarke. She also starts comforting Clarke by telling her things like, Lexa lives through her, she is doing good things trying to save everyone, and Lexa also wanted unity of all etc. These lines feel really forced and weird: why is Niylah telling Clarke what Lexa would have wanted? How would she even know? She’s talking as if she had been her family member or close friend or associate. Clarke knew Lexa, while Niylah was a trader who lived far from Polis, she probably never even got to see the Commander, let alone ever talk to her. Now, it makes perfect sense to have Clarke think of Lexa, who died less than a month ago, but these references feel really forced – it feels like writers are trying a bit too hard to insert some positive references to Lexa in order to appease her fans, so they have different characters talk to Clarke about how great Lexa was (for the second episode in a row)– even if that doesn’t actually make sense for these characters, and even though it’s at the expense of Clarke’s character: Clarke was a strong leader who was trying to save everyone way before she met Lexa, and the idea of Lexa as Clarke’s moral compass doesn’t match their actual relationship (if anything, it was the opposite – and Lexa’s decision in the days leading up to her death, to stop the cycle of violence which everyone now seems to admire her for, as something she did at Clarke’s suggestion and that everyone around her ascribed to Clarke’s influence). By comparison, I don’t have any problem with the show’s mentions of Lexa post-season 4, which have been much more faithful to what actually happened in season 2b and 3a.

But disregarding the actual lines, what strikes me most about the scene is that Niylah’s general attitude and especially the way she talks to Clarke come off as almost…motherly, which is, obviously, weird. But I guess Clarke, at the moment, just needs someone caring and undemanding to give her comfort, human touch and some casual sex, without asking anything from her. I don’t think she is at the emotional state, at this point, for a real romantic relationship with anyone – and who can blame her, after how tragic her love life has been? Stronger feelings are dangerous and can lead to pain and loss. But she does care about Niylah enough to make sure she has a good chance of surviving, so she tells her to stay in Arkadia so she would be sure to be among the people who got the Nightblood treatment early. Niylah has been surprisingly chill about the way Clarke broke her trust in 3x11, but I guess she’s generally not a person who holds grudges, and her feelings for Clarke were probably more like an infatuation with a celebrity, without any expectations of a real relationship. Oddly enough, this is just the fourth time that Clarke has had sex with anyone, as far as we know (and Niylah is the one person she’s had sex with twice –due to circumstances, she only got to have sex once with each of her romantic partners, Finn and Lexa), and the last time in all 5+ seasons so far (what with the whole, being stuck on a deserted planet with a child and a radio as only companions for 6 years thing).

Before leaving on her mission, Clarke has a nice talk with Kane, her unofficial stepfather, about Abby’s upcoming mission, since Clarke is going to see her mother, while Kane is staying in Arkadia to make sure everything is fine. They even hug, and this is one of the very few times that we see these characters interacting one on one.

Surprise, surprise, there are again hostilities between Azgeda and Trikru have again. Roan’s army is returning from Arkadia, but they found the time to burn Trikru villages on their way which Roan apparently hasn’t done anything to stop. Bellamy brings it up, but Roan just shuts him up with “That’s funny, coming from you”, Because, apparently, “You did bad things in the past you feel sorry for, this justifies the crap I’m doing right now” is such a great argument?

Bellamy goes to check out on Octavia, who’s in the med bay, and tries to have a normal conversation and tell her that he he thought she was dead, but Octavia is still doing her “I hate you and cannot forgive you” thing, now with less physical violence but in an even more dramatic fashion, telling him that “Octavia is dead” and blaming him for it, saying she died “when you killed Lincoln”. Huh, so that’s the story now, she’s somehow decided that he killed Lincoln? And she also tells him that the fact he is her brother is only reason she hasn’t killed him.

Ilian is also in med bay, after being beaten up by an angry mob, which only left after Kane threatened them with a gun and made them leave. (The scene made Niylah exclaim: ‘We’re not so different after all” – probably referring to the fact that Sky people really are just another clan who believe in ‘Blood must have blood’ just like those she knows.) Now he’s surrounded by guards, but the angry mob is assembling and listening to the speech of a man who seems to be their leader. Angry mobs often get to be the antagonist in this show, but it’s nice to see that, for once, we get to see their point of view and humanize them. The man blames Ilian for the fact that his five year old son will not have a shelter from radiation, and he also clearly has a wrong idea about Ilian’s motives, believing that destroying Arkadia was a hate crime targeting Sky people. They aren’t aware that he was in fact on a tech-destroying rampage caused by ALIE-related trauma and clueless about the consequences.

On the other hand, Octavia knows, but doesn’t care. When Ilian says he didn’t mean to hurt anyone, and that he didn’t kill anyone, she points out that he kind of has killed them all, and adds some dramatic dark lines such as “The sword doesn’t care what you meant, it just cuts”. She doesn’t seem really angry over Arkadia or looking for revenge – like in Polis, she is in her dark state of mind and uses violence as a way to unload or numb her pain. Later, when the mob comes to kill Ilian, and his guards conveniently leave, Octavia tells their leader that they can beat him up, but she gets to kill him. The first time I watched season 4, my first thought about her relationship with Ilian in this episode was “oh god, she’s found a new punching bag”. She can beat the crap out of Bellamy, but she won’t kill him because he’s her brother, but she can kill Ilian. It was one of the bigger surprises of this season when this relationship later turned to something more positive.

Earlier, Monty tried to prevent the lynching, by talking to Jaha to convince him to intervene. He mentions the time when they lynched Murphy for supposedly killing Wells - Jaha is clearly upset by another mention of his son’s death – and, as Jaha seems reluctant to intervene, says his son would be ashamed of him, but Jaha is in fact planning to get involved. When the mob goes after Ilian,  Kane again does his best to stop them, pulling a gun again against the mob, but David Miller knocks him out, maybe worried that it could end with Kane dead or injured, or Kane shooting into the crowd. However, Jaha gets the crowd to leave by alarming them falsely about supposed radioactive rain (“black rain”), but Octavia is still there, and about to kill Ilian. Monty tries to talk her down, telling her: “You are not a murderer” – which is a bad tactic that doesn’t succeed, because she is a murderer. I don’t know how much Monty knows about her recent actions. But Kane finds a way to get to her – by pointing the obvious parallel between Lincoln’s death and what she’s about to do with Ilian. The parallel is really obvious, it may a bit too on the nose parallels - Ilian is on his knees and tied up, at the same place Lincoln was when Pike shot him. Octavia finally has a strong emotion about what she has become,  throws away the gun, and runs away crying, leaving Arkadia to go roam around, while Kane is calling after her. He lets Ilian go.

Meanwhile, Clarke, Bellamy and Roan are on their road trip/mission with three of Roan’s men and barrels of hydrazine that need to be delivered in exactly that quantity. Roan gets to show his snarky side in this episode and has something almost like a buddy cop dynamic with both Bellamy and Clarke.

The convoy runs into some Trikru people who had been attacked by Azgeda, and ask Clarke to help an injured old man. She st ops to try to save him, but chaos ensues as a child sees Roan and three other Azgeda warriors in the back of the truck. Trikru and Azgeda have been at war, in spite of officially being a part of the same coalition, pretty much all the time, and Sky people have found themselves awkwardly on various sides of that conflict.

They separate at one point when Roan and Bellamy are in a rover while Clarke is with the three Azgeda guys and the cargo,but they lose radio contact with her and go back, only to find out that someone has disappeared with a cargo. Hydrazine can be used to build bombs, and they think Trikru stole the cargo to build bombs against Azgeda. There is a dead body wrapped in a cloth, and there’s a moment when Bellamy thinks the dead body is Clarke, before seeing it is Roan’s right hand man. It turns out that the two of Roan’s men killed the third one and stole the barrels to use it for weapons. There’s a fight and Roan has a superhero slow-motion shot when he jumps from one car to another and then fights one of the traitors.

They take the cargo back, but then it turns out that one of the barrels got pierced by a Trikru arrow, which means disaster – they won’t have enough hydrazine to go to space.

But before they find that out in a cliffhanger ending, there are some nice character moments. At one point, while it’s just Roan and Bellamy in a rover and Clarke is not there, Roan tells Bellamy that everyone is doing things for their people, except maybe Clarke – she is the only one trying to save everyone. That’s interesting, because he claimed the exact opposite an episode ago when he talked to Clarke, but he was bullshitting that time. Maybe he is sincere this time.

Clarke and Roan also have a friendly moment where Clarke tells Roan he’s a good king, and Roan has a “what is it all for” moment where he wonders if things will always be like that even if they are saved – if everyone will just continue killing each other. Well, that’s one of the big themes of the show.

Just a note: Bellamy has been feeling guilty and trying to redeem himself for 1.5 seasons for participating in the killing of 300 Trikru warriors that was ordered by Pike, and everyone is constantly reminding him of that. But Roan ordered his warriors to kill a bunch of Trikru warriors without warning just one or two days ago, and now hasn’t made any attempts to stop them from attacking Trikru villages. He may be ruminating about the cycle of violence, but he doesn’t seem to feel guilty, Clarke calls him a good king, and no one ever talks about it, not in the show and not in the fandom. This double standard is in line with how the show usually operates. In general, protagonists get the harshest treatment on The 100 and are always feeling guilty and getting called out on anything bad they do, and have to redeem themselves all the time. Clarke is the main character, so she gets that the most, and Bellamy gets that a lot, too, but supporting characters mostly don't. Currently, there is a lot of anger in the fandom because of the way Clarke is being treated at the start of season 6 by the narrative and other characters, but many people think it’s because Jason Rothenberg favors Echo over Clarke – when really, it’s because main characters like Clarke and Bellamy, and now Octavia, are important enough to have a story; the show focuses on them and their arcs, we see them feeling guilty and making efforts to make amends. But supporting characters get far less attention and story/development (e.g. we don't see much of Echo's development because she's mostly been a plot device and hasn't gotten much story of her own).

Bellamy and Clarke get another beach scene with a meaningful moment, before they separate, as they usually do at least once a season (this time, Clarke is going to help Abby and bring the hydrazine, and Bellamy is returning to Arkadia). Similarly to the night beach scene in 3x13, Bellamy confides in Clarke about his problems with Octavia, how she keeps treating him badly but he keeps coming back trying to change her mind. He calls himself pathetic. Clarke again tries to comfort him, telling him Octavia will change her mind. But the way she talks to him makes it seem like she’s talking about something else, not his relationship with Octavia. She tells him “she’ll see how special you are” – which doesn’t even sound like something she’d really say about his sister. I kind of think that characters talking about how “special” someone is, is kind of a trite line, but that line has been used a few times    Lexa said it about Clarke in season 3, and Clarke said it about Lexa in 3x14. Hmm, interesting, people have just used it to talk about those they were in love with. But let’s not assume too much, maybe this scene was meant to be about platonic friendship and nothing more… in which case, it failed really badly at that, since Clarke is very obviously checking out Bellamy while telling him “how special you are”. (Either that or… I don’t know? Did she suddenly decide to carefully inspect the combat gear he’s always wearing, and had to look it up and down just in that moment?) Then there’s a teasing moment where Bellamy starts telling Clarke something important, prefacing it with “If I don’t see you again,,” but Clarke cuts him off, saying he will, because she refuses to even think about the possibility of goodbye. Then they got interrupted by Roan, with the important news, so Bellamy never gets to finish. Fans have naturally speculated a lot as to what he was about to tell her. Contrary to some opinions, I don’t think he meant to say something too obviously romantic – not at that point, because I don’t think he was ready to go into that direction any more than Clarke was, while he was so consumed with the drama with his sister, and just a couple of weeks after he heard Clarke say she loved Lexa. I think he was going to tell her something similar to what Clarke told him in 4x13 – something about how much she meant to him. This scene was paralleled with the one in 4x13, where Clarke started telling Bellamy something important and led with “If something happens to me”, and Bellamy cut her off the same way, because he couldn’t bear the idea that she may die. Only that time, they were not interrupted again and she could finish.

In Becca’s lab, Raven is angry and desperate, because all her attempts at creating conditions for a successful launch into space keep failing, and the simulation shows that everyone would die. Meanwhile, Murphy is making sarcastic comments, as always, but Raven gets furious and starts telling him he is the worst, in a really harsh way.

Luna comforts Raven in what is a strangely intimate scene for two people who have only known each other for a couple of days at most, singing her a song, and then tries to comfort Murphy, explaining that Raven is saying those things just because of her deteriorating mental state, This is Luna at her best – the Luna that is caring, compassionate, and a pacifist. Murphy thinks Raven really hates him, because he crippled her. As usual, he has some fun sarcastic comments, such as “You are the new Raven-sitter” (after Sinclair. I guess). Luna tells him that he can find peace, since even she has managed to find it – in spite of having been raised to be a killed, and having killed her own brother. Sadly, in four episodes, or just a few days in-universe, it will turn out that she hasn’t actually made peace – just tried to convince herself of it. Luna says she wouldn’t like to be the last person on Earth, and Murphy sarcastically replies that it seems like a good prospect. The irony here is off the charts – Murphy is saying those cynical, nihilistic things as a defense mechanisms, but Luna is the one who will eventually try to make it happen.

Murphy trying to learn Grounder speech is the funniest thing: somehow a sentence Luna said (“I give myself to the miracle of the sea”) became something that would mean “I creep on myself for the miracle of horny mistake”.

Raven eventually finds the solution, somewhat helped remark by Luna, but the news about the lost barrel of hydrazine means it’s pointless (or at least it seems that way right now), and she has another seizure.

Timeline: This episode starts shortly after the end of 4x05, during the night, and takes place on the day after. In 4x02, it was 9 days since the beginning of season 4, 4x03 was a day or maybe 2 after, 4x04 not long after (since they decided at the end of 4x03 to go to Becca’s lab – a day after, tops), so this should be taking place about two weeks after the start of season 4.

Body count:

Old Trikru man, who died after being injured by Azgeda during their attack on one of the villages

Azgeda warrior Seiku and two guards from Arkadia, killed by the Azgeda traitors

The two Azgeda traitors, one stabbed by Roan, the other shot by Bellamy

Rating: 8/10

#the 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 4x06 #we will rise #the 100 season 4 #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #raven reyes #octavia blake #ilian #marcus kane #thelonius jaha #ilian kom trishanakru #john murphy #roan #roan kom azgeda #monty green #luna #luna kom floukru #niylah