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#;w; still not fully proud but at least I've done something in time
fainthedcherry · 11 days
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When I was a child in 2013, visiting Nickelodeon's site and finding a treasure-trove of Spongebob, Winx and TMNT flash games was like magic to me. BUT MAN. The TMNT flash games are one of the best ever to me I've played in my life. (on an aesthetic stand-point! Turtle Tactics and Dark Horizons are so awesome man, legendary flash games to me.)
Since I am utterly autistic about 4 green alien turtles and their rat dad...Here we are again. With me posting OC cringe 2016 me would've killed myself over :V (cry about it 11 yo/ me, afraid of cringe culture back then, it's DEAD NOW)
Gonna sneak-post my redo of that ancient drawing I did of Alex 2 years ago, for the base-post : D
2 years ago, I used flashpoint to replay it for the first time in years and I remember crying of glee LOL (I still play Dark Horizons and turtle tactis to this day btw). I played Dark Horizons and Turtle Tactics and also TMNT: Throw Back (NO I DID NOT NAME THIS LIKE A MEME THIS IS ITS NAME. I STILL BURST INTO LAUGHTER LIKE A CHILD OVER THE NAME AGING POORLY DUE TO INTERNET LINGO)
Those 2 flash games are just so...Technically advanced?? For its time?? LIKE A FULLY FLEDGED 3D FLASH GAME WITH UNITY ENGINE BASIS? DAMN. And then Dark Horizons? CHEF'S KISS I LOVE THAT GAME SO MUCH. AESTHETICALLY AND THE COMBAT FEELS RLLY NICE TO ME IMO, AND JUST...Everything about THAT flash game, god TIMELESS CLASSIC I COULD YAP ON FOR HOURS ABOUT THIS NO JOKE.
I am enthralled by the designs and art of Dark Horizons, it's why I made this drawing. The game just..Speaks to me on so many levels. IT'S JUST SO PLEASING TO SEE ALL THE ARTWORK I EXTRACTED. As far to my knowledge- it never got released, so I might make a post of just a few favourites I liked from the game. :D
I just wonder if I can post those in the first place, it's after all, not my artwork, from a flash game, and TMNT, so yeah, legal IP and stuff. I unfortunately don't know who the artist if of the flash games, but if I can find that out via googling or digging for credits in the game or the files, I'll see if I can credit them, so that posting will be fairly accredited!!
OH YEAH RIGHT ALSO QUICK BANTER ABT ART SORRY I AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THOSE FLASH GAMES AS YOU CAN TELL,,,
I studied the in-game sprites for a good few hours back then, and did my best to replicate it to the best of my abilities!! I think Mushu maybe could've been done better looking back at it, but I think it was the best that I could do back then. :D Plus, I remember being really happy, excited and proud of this piece, as it reflected something, my childhood self always wanted: For Alex to like.."fake" being an official character LOL. I had sooo many dreams where Alex was hanging out with the turtles and Ninjago and throwing in Power Rangers for good measure, just...Everything I liked as a child, I somehow connected in my dreams via either "OH YEAH THE RAINBOW FAIRY!" or "OH YEAH SUDDENLY PORTAL AND MY MARY-SUES JUST BRAVE IT WHILST THE OFFICIAL CHARACTERS DRAMATICALLY TELL THEM NOT TO GO"
^I had vivid and....Creative dreams as a child to say the least, sometimes even Darth Vader and Eggman appeared as the bad guys, despite TMNT and Power Rangers and Ninjago w/ the snakes and lord Garmadon or however you spell him (I never checked + I'm German so ofc his name might be different in english)- I- do I have to go on about the dreams I FULLY remember I had, as a 6-9 yo/, until I told myself at 10 how embarassing my dreams are and stopped doing so? I DIGRESS. I..Need to be more professional in these, instead of such pure fandom trash oml, I feel bad for whoever actually has to read through my blatant autistic interests as a child and thinking "wtf is he on about" dfgklfdg
ANYWAY NEKST POST IS THE BASE. I SWEAR. SORRY I LOVE RAMBLING
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popculturebuffet · 1 year
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Proud Family Black History Month Special: I Had a Dream and Juneteenth (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)
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Happy Black History Month all you happy people! And once again we're celebrating it with the Proud Family.
Last year Louder and Prouder launched and I covered it as it did and soon after covered Father Figures, it's wonderful ep about gay parents. I.. never finished the season as none of the episodes apart from Al Roker as Himself, a Magical Genie intrested me. And yes I will likely do all threre Al Roker as Himself, A Magical Genie episodes at some point. It didn't seem BAD it's just the inherent meanness in a lot of the comedy, some of the stuff that hadn't aged well like Oscar hitting on women who aren't his wife, and other probelms simply .. hadn't gone away and there's no excuse given the creators had two whole decades to refelct on the original series. THey still did well updating it for today in both clothing and refrences and the series is still deeply entrenched in black culture in a wonderful way, so it wasn't bad I just wasn't intrested.
Thankfully Season 2.. seems to be an improvement, as the creators have now proven the show can be a hit and thus are running with the creative freedom. Just from the clips i've seen, I intend to watch the seaosn in full when I have the time, their going hard. As someone with Autisim, their treatment of it seems nuanced, deep , and incredibly well done and heartfelt, and it seem the season has a nice ballance of usual hyjinks and some fairly deep subjects done well and that kids could bear to know about like colorisim, slave ownership and just how much the country was BUILT on slavery, as shown in what's now become the series most notable scene and ione i've watched a LOT at this point, despite seeming to come at the end of an episode that has nothing to do with the topic, yet still feeling fully waranted
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And that's what brings us here. See in the wake of this, as those of you thankfully off twitter may not be aware of tons of right wing trolls came out of their troll holes to gnash their teeth at how THE PROUD FAMILY IS WOKE NOW and HOW DARE YOU BRAINWASH OUR CHILDREN. Which is extra hilarious as I didn't know till watching today's episode from Louder and Prouder, Juneteenth, that they actually TACKLE this sort of thing and it has a term: White Fragility, where white people with thin skin get defensive at the first sign their history is racist among other things. They even brought up a books pecifically that i'm now going to try and get simply because I want to avoid this sort of shit myself. Seriously i'm not making this shit up, they likely knew damn well at least one of the episodes would piss off white people, and were well prepared for it.. and they proved them right. And i'm white myself.. and I find our history of slavery, racasim and overall colonalist bullshit fucking horrifying. It's the right thing to do. It's bad when you find out something or someone you belivied in was horrible. It sucks, but the responsible thing is to move on, not support it, and let history show.
It also brought up a valid point: Proud Family WAS ALWAYS woke. While it didn't have as many episodes covering it tha'ts not because "Oh they got worse with age". Shows CAN change in revivials and sometims for the worse… but this really isnt' it. It's a simple fact that they coudln' likely tackle topics like police brutality, slave ownership and racisim int eachers without the network yanking their collars and letting their white fragility get the better of them. We live in a time where we can now have those discussions we shoudl've been having all along. And to show it i'm covering two episodes and while this was comissoned, I gladly would've done it for free…. I mean I need money to eat, and I could think of worse things to cover for money.. mostly because I just did staurday
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But still, let's take a look at the proud family then and now and see how stupid people are being while we honor black history month with two episodes focused on black history
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I Had a Dream
I Had a Dream was the shows black history month episode, coming in season one. The plot is simple: To teach Penny's class about black history, something she's relutcant on as she figures "what's past is past" but still takes to the task wholeheartdly, their teacher has each of his class dress up as a black historical figure. He also goes into the origins of the holiday, something I wasn't familiar with. WHile I saw this episode as a kid i'd clearly forgotten this part in the haze of history: in 1946, historan Carter G. Woodson wanted to spotlight black achivements and thus created Negroe History Week. And in a nice touch he corrects Penny on saying african american as not only was that the closest to a pc term as the time.. but white people called Black Persons MUCH worse, a way to refrence the giant and horrifying parade of horrible slurs without saying them since disney likely had one reaction to them coming up
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But they get by with Negro and Colored, both terms I hope never to have to type again. Penny's friends are dicks to an uptight white janitor played by my boy Stephen Root whose somehow important to this episode and penny slips leading exactly where you think it's going to end up.
Penny gets Angela Davis, activist, author and professor. Oscar both gave her the natural necessary to pull off the part and is said to help her study a touch I like, as well as the fact he celebrates freely not only putting on a dashiki at breakfast (and making a fun sarcastic comment about the fact that black history month is the shortest month of the year), but hosting the levar burton film festival. I'm with Trudy i'm not sure there is enough films for one of those and I did look it up. It's mostly tv movies and mini series like roots. Though if it includes Roots and Star Trek The NExt Generation i'm down and it should fill out the night. I love that it shows Oscar, despite often being a dummy… has depth and really knows his own culture and history and encourages that in his daughter. It's something i've noticed in black media with Jumstart making a habit out of it early on of having Marcy quiz her husband joe every year to be ready to teach their children when they got older. I mean their now stuck at 10 and `12 for eternity but still.
Djonay is awful as usual and gets a way better icon than she deserves: Betsy Coleman, one of the first black women pilots. @jess-the-vampire, who I watched these eps with, actually knew a LOT about her, and gladly shared: she had to go to france because she coudln't get taught here, was mostly a stunt performer, and died in a tragic plane accent because planes weren't exactly safe back then. Lacienga is the first black woman to run for president Shirley Chisom and Zoey is CJ Walker, self made milonare. Also while we thankfully don't see sticky he's al sharpton, actvisit, preacher and anti-semite.
Penny gets swept up in winds wizard of Oz Style and winds up in 1955. This part of the episode is… eh. I do like how it shows just how only close to 50 years before this epissode things were worse: black acomplishments weren't recognized (I mean.. even more than they were at the time. I didn't even know a black man invented the traphic light), Zoey avoids her and the school's play area is segregated.. but weirdly the class isn't? Also Stephen Root is the teacher and their teacher is the janitor because racisim. Why they made Janitor Man the token racist is beyond me, esepcailly sinc ein the present he dosen't come off racist just overly obessive about cleaning and wasn't INTENDED to be a bad guy, as the kids later apologize and claen up the hallway for him. So why make him one for this scene?
That ends up being this episodes problem: for those saying "oh proud family isn't subtle anymore".. they never were. This episode is about as subtle as a brick to the head with a note attached saying GET IT IT WAS WORSE. THe episode isn't AWFUL, as it shows both how arbitrary these things were, and dosen't entirley sugarcoat things… it does a little,e specially in comparison to say the color of friendship which I reviewed for a previous black history month, but it still uses the term colored, has Oscar not happy with Penny befriending zoey, and still has the fucking army show up when Penny leads a sit in for immigration. But it honestly also feels a bit … makes it easy. Penny easily gets dream zoey to turn, has a fucking musical number with sticky and recites had a dream. The only thing that makes any of this over the top, "let's all dance and skip" tyep of aseop work is that A) it was likely all they could do at the time and B) it is LITERALLY penny's dream, so the naitvite and toned down aspects come off as what a 12 year old who dosen't likely know just how horrible things were or how severe the punishment for speaking out could get's version of things.
That said taking it as a product of it's time.. it's fantastic and still has a valuale lesson. While ti's watered down yes, the fact they could do this ep at all is a lot, and it's lesson is important for kids: don't forget the past. It's an easy aseop sure but given how much of black history was buried, evne more than I ever realized, and how much said past can be whitewashed and glorified to make people who were racist or had racist tendencys or parts to them that were just awful even if a lot of their actions were noble. HIstory is best when you admit the hard parts with the easy and do not forget what's happened lest it repeat.
And thus while this episode was decent enough.. it makes it fitting that it's sequel series has a spirtual followup: while I agreed to do these episodes before rewatching and watching them, the two end up synching up perfectly. This one was about not forgetting your own history and how hard it was as there's still a ways to go. Juneteenth.. is about those ways to go, facing hard truths, and fighting even when ti's far from easy. This one avoided the consequences of standing up for what you belivie in. This one…. fully leans into them. So without further ado….
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Juneteenth
I would be shocked if this episode dosen't make my best of the year list for 2023. This was one powerful as hell half hour that was well done, honest, and awesome.
This one focuses on Maya, the new additon to the series and an activist who acts exactly how a 13 year old actvisit would: often smart and on point, but also just as often lost in her own cause. This one though has her entirely in the right.. but in a way that fits.
So Smithville, where our heroes have lived all this time as it has a name now, is having a celebration honoring it's founder Christan A. Smith, hosted by Mayor Wizard Kelly Ya'll, both of which you can probably took as I did as red flags.
Turns out he's realted to Maya's dad barry, whose going nto get honored as his decendant at a big ceremony and Maya's proud of her heritage. So naturally since she's proud in the proud family.. she gets haunted by a ghost.
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Yeah the episode has the ghost of what seems to be a black teenager follow Maya around, hinting that the supposed narrative about smith isn't what he thinks it is. We also get some nice microagression from Maya's teacher who at first refuses to belivie maya is a decendant and then says "It's not really your history is it
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Like holy shit we went from "White janitor who'se really cool in real life honest guys and racist teacher verison comes around" to "White Teacher micro agression". It's what I meant: the show was always woke.. it just didn't fully go into the implications of things. Back then they woudl've been told "this wasn't realistic" or some such bullshit. Now they can do this freely and it's.. honest. I was white in school but my own textbooks barely touched on the restoration and glossed over a fact that's key to this episode: that some states held out on slavery and got assurances from Lincoln they wouldn't be effected by abolition. That was just to get the south. Because my own state didn't want to admit it's past wrongs it was framed as "oh well missouri just was for slavery but it was all cool you guys honest. "
And she never.. really gets a compuance. She's shown comtpemplating at the end but.. she never apologizes or anything for what she did or her hero worship of Smith. She's not used as the easy villian of the piece either tho: she's not leading the celebration ons mith: she's just a white idiot worshipping another white idiot and unitenotally conributing to whtie washing his history.
Maya starts to question her history, but holds back from bringing in her dad as h'es so happy. Also we get to see Barry shirtless.
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just.. hot damn. I didn't know village people biker was a thing for me. Randall is a damn lucky man.. as is Barry. Just holy shit. I needed a moment.
Back to the actual point of the episode. KJ helps his sister as she can't find anything. And here I get the sense that while the creators of proud family MARGINALLY understand the internet better than they did when they did a whole episode comparing napster to drug addiction and pointing out how record stores would di ebecause of it and other dog whistling… they still really don't as they go to
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Which.. isn't how that works. I mean there are other search engines But it is clear Wizard Kelly Google Ya'll is hiding his history before th efounding and something is up.. and while cleaning up his statue with walking white privlage , the ghost poitns Maya to a box that gives her hard evdience to her suspcions: a Diary of Emily, a black woman around their age who lived in Smithville back then.
Since Maya RIGHTFULLY thinks Mrs Karen wouldn't be of any help at best and hide this at worst they instead go to another teacher, Brother Kwame, played by my boy Leslie Odom Junior. Kwame reads the diary out, as it turns out to be the diary of Emily, a young slave who not only planned a Juneteenth in secret.. but was OWNED by smith. Smith owned slaves. And look a white man owned slaves.. isn't shocking. Even George Washington did and Thoms Jerfferson outright assulted one. But the larger point here is it was covered up: that instead of just having open discourse about this man's history and if we really should be on the side of someone who when given the option to let his slaves go or not did not, it was buried. That we shoudlnt' celebrate someone whose inherently awful because of heritage in shit if the bad he did outweighed the good. Keeping people chained up for his own convience trumps "founded a town I guess". Some other white man likely woudl've founded this town. It's not that big bro. HIding history dosen't make it any less fucked up and celebrating fucked up people isn't good. It's whY Colombus Day needs to stop being a thing: because he acomplished ntohing and was just a racist colonizing rapist. Hiding the past.. dosen't make it not there.
So with that Kwame decides to go talk with Wizard Kelly, ya'll, while Maya is forced to tell her dad the awful truth. And Barry, being an upstanding man, loving father and nice dude.. entirley denys it and can't belivie it sending his daughter away in tears. And Randall.. dosent remotely tolerate his shit not backing him up and pointing out his white fragility. And while yeah , plugging the book directly could be a step too far given I didn't know this term existed and now want to read said book, I say it works and frankly more people need to knwo it's an actual term and how to combat themselves doing it. Barry reads it and the animatoin here is wonderful as his face shows he clearly sees himself in the page Randall had ready… but can't bring himself to admit it. And i'm not immune to this: while i've never loudly said "no YOUR wrong that can't be true"… it still took until this episode pointed out Lincoln wasn't just not for freeing the slaves but wanted to simply DEPORT ALL BLACK PEOPLE, for me to finally just shake the notion he wasn't a great person. He did good trying to sew the country back together but he didn't free the slaves and he wasn't trying to do it because slavery was wrong. And I wasn't even that ATTACHED to lincoln, it was just hard to find out something i'd been told my whole life was entire bullshit. It can be hard when you have an emotoinal stake… but it also means you have to do the hard thing and cut tha tpart out of you. When I found out JK Rowling was the TERF she is I sold all my harry potter stuff: it didn't fund her and if you can watch the films and seperate art from artist, go ahead. But I just couldn't bear to have something attached to that monster in me. It was hard to cut out that part of my childhood.. but it needed to be done. You don't pretend it didn't exist, but you acknowlege it's tainted now and may never be the same and you may neve renjoy it NOW like you once did, and that's okay. As with the previous episode this one is about learning from the mistakes of the past instead of trying to simply "move on" and act like it never happened.. and no the irony on me isn't lost disney does this sort of thing constantly and I doubt it was lost on the writers of this episode.
SHOCKINGLY the grossly corrupt billionare mayor who has shown not one iota of a soul to this point didn't respond to an underpaid school teacher bringing the book to him, respnding with "It was in the past ya'll". So our heroes have to go with plan b…. well okay plan C. Lacienga's plan B was "PULL THAT FUCKING STATUE DOWN BITCHES".. I mean she didn't say it that way but it was in her tone. Brother Kwame instead sugggests simply protesting.. though dosen't join in for some reason. Which is somehow the weridest plot element in an episode with a ghost. Though givne we've had actual genie al rooker, talking babies and pandas, and it taking till apparently THIS SEASON for Oscar to get his factory shut down for gross violations when he's far from rich enough to bribe officals, it's far from teh least realistic thing that's happened on this show.
The actual protest.. is brutal as.. it's shockingly realistic. Our heroes simply show up protesting.. and Wizard Kelly's response is to "put those kids in cuff's ya'll". Seriously all the dialouge he has this episode sounds like I wrote it but no, he really says that
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And I like that it's Wizard Kelly who does it: they don't invent a white boogie man or have the teacher from before sick the cops on them or pull a karen. They have someone whose black himself simply sick the system on chidlren because the lie he's kept is more convient to his pocket than the truth. It shows how the system is inherently racist to the point it benefits the rich of any race to buy into it instead of fight it. It also helps Wizard Kelly is genuinely awful and him sicking police on children sounds like something he'd do because they stepped on his lawn or something.
Seeing these children swarmed by faceless goons really sells just how.. horrirfyign the police can be, how they don't care about age or diffrence just abotu enforcing whatever someone tells them to enforce. The facelessness ot me shows regradless of color, though i'm sure that color is mostly white, the system itself is designed to opress instead of help. The kids parents and even Barry and Sunset despite being cops themselves get swept under and everyone ends up in prison.
We get a truly heartwrenching scene and props to Zachary Quinto for his delivery: Barry admits he was wrong and it was just hard to admit adn dosen't expect his daughter to forgive him, but apologizes. It's what we all should do when confrotned with something like this: accept the truth, and deal with it like an adult. Given several people's responses to JUST the "slaves built this country" segment alone was
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It's clear it's a lesson that BADLY needed to be said. The right path.. is almost never the easy one. But Barry took it and his daugher warmly accepts her dad back. We also get a brave action as our heroes choose to remain in prison till shit changes.
So one month later, though I assume Wizard Kelly kept them in there like. .a week at most, things have changed and the town has been renamed to emily ville with Maya reading her diary and fear.. and us finding out that unlike dying as was implied earlier (a bold move in itself) she lived a long happy life and her kids are there. It's a touching end that shows we still have a ways to go.. but we CAN change things to make it better as Maya and her dads watch emily, now as she was when she died head back into the great beyond.. and also have a lot of questions now they know ghosts are real but that's for next season.
I loved this episode.
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Yeah shocking I know, but it was beauitfully done, nuanced and a true triumph. It has convinced me to watch the rest of (or at least most of) season 2, and is worth your time this black history month. Both episodes are.. but it's clear with the restraints gone this is what the proud family crew was capable of and it is glorious. Check this one out asap. And as you can see… Proud Family was always woke and always shoudl be and if they keep pulling out home runs like this it might become one of the best shows of two diffrent generations. We'll have to see but honestly, I can say it left me wanting more and more.. and that ain't bad at all. Thanks for reading
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sweetswesf · 1 year
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Check In
What I Did Today
Actually woke up w/my alarm
Procrastinated getting the day started after waking, but at least I did not hit snooze!
Worked out
Talked to my gym crush...albeit nervously, but I still did it!
Accepted the invitation to the event hosted by the only 2 men I've slept with...then invited a friend...then commenced to trying on what I plan to wear...I hope I don't have a nervous panic reaction and start shaking when talking to one of them like I did last time in a surprise encounter of them *eyeroll*
Worked for about 6 hours on the AlgoExpert videos! This is the longest I've spent on them.
Cooked all my meals, never ordered out, and ate pretty balanced!
Stayed pretty hydrated
Took a walk for 10 minutes after dinner
Got over 10k steps
Did BOTH of my face wash routines
Look at this progress!
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What I Learned Today
Hash tables, stacks & queues, strings, & runtimes of their common operations
I can do this!
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Feeling
Accomplished; I got a LOT done...more than I thought
Proud of myself; I didn't even need a nap nor did I get hella tired today
A bit more energized now that I'm averaging a bit more hours of rest at night and a little less constant stress...work put a LOT of stress on me...no matter what I did, I always felt like I was being watched or should have done something better, or that I should have been monitoring something that I deployed somewhere
Hopeful that I can keep this up and do better
Grateful that I don't have crazy headaches anymore...slight dizziness...but, I just remind myself to keep pushing through
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Takeaways
I'm going to get something like that house in Spain
Don't allow my mind to think negative thoughts
As I have heard throughout my life, I gotta stop being so hard on myself...
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How I Got Myself Out of a Rut Today
My friend telling more people I am looking when I am not trying to interview drove me nuts for many reasons: 1) I have a LOT of things lined up that I am PREPPING for!!!, 2) I TOLD him I was not trying to interview right now...MANY TIMES, 3) I would NEVER apply to the places he's volunteering my name for without running past me, 4) This lowers my stock having someone search around for me when I don't want or need them to...After telling him to chill and taking a big sigh, I got to work, because I need to shake this identity off me! LOL If I was prepared, I wouldn't even have aggressions like these! It sounds spoiled, but I hope y'all understand; I appreciate his gesture, but he's deciding to ignore my judgement despite me telling him, and throughout my life I have been trying to show people that I got it and some just don't trust my word, even if I was trying to prove it to them (which I'm not)...
Wasting less time overall
Telling myself it's okay to feel tired and that it was going to be worth it
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Goals Completed
Found a therapist
Stopped listening to people worried about their own circumstances and remembering God works on his own time and that I am in no rush...
Got back on the ball
Being kinder to myself and stopping guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%
Goals After Today
Strengthen my relationship with God
Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in 6 months, NOT less than 3
Drop my body fat percentage to Marion Jones, Michaela Cole, or Jade Cargill levels
Consistently fight urge to fill up my time with social media/YouTube
Fully forgive my family & build a great relationship with them
Be more confident & faithful
250 steps/hour & 10k steps/daily consistently
Drink more than 64oz a day consistently
Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too
Learn more about my gym crush & get him to ask for my number
Get a house similar to that one in Spain
Update my personal app
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shokujin-art · 4 years
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Asmo’s birthday where the boys bring back MC from the human world for this day 😔💖
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Can I just say that I appreciate your post on r-spawning so much? You're the only person on tumblr who I've seen who isn't being a complete asshat about it. As someone living in an abusive environment and has been struggling with a lot of mental health issues, I despise what I can only call "forced-lifers" who try to ram their "you're meant to be here! pull up your bootstraps and stick it out" agenda down ppl's throats. Jfc. 🌹
I'm glad you appreciate it <3
I won't ask who you are and I hope your home life gets better, I know how it feels in away. Not exactly because I'm not you. But it's tough, really tough. And I'm proud of you for getting this far.
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Cw it gets long winded from here! Just skip to the bottom if you want.
I agree it does seem forced though I don't give it a name. I tend to just ignore it. For me, I don't ever want to come across as, or be, someone who is hateful towards respawners or other subcategories of shifting. I'm kind of in a middle lane, I don't want someone to die physically but is it really my right to decide? No. Nor can I stop it, so what's the point of excluding others? There is none. I fully acknowledge it can trigger other people, it can be confusing, or a touchy subject. That's totally valid! But having a forced attitude to "stay" isn't right in general.
For example, if a friend told you they wanted to end their life and you told them "no you must stay, you're not welcome to talk to me, don't speak to me, etc" then there's something wrong there. It's not necessarily the "staying part" that's the issue, in my opinion. I see it as the more of the forceful and low-key hate that's a result if you don't listen to them when you refuse to stay. It's really rude and disgusting in general. If they claim to want people to stay and live but then have a forceful and hateful attitude then W H A T . (And no I'm not pointing fingers, I just see it pop up every now and then.) If they truly want to "help" (as they say) then they shouldn't push someone away immediately just for saying it. It's not right.
I fully acknowledge, again, it can trigger some people by the mention of death. But in no way should someone completely exclude someone but then say they support anyone who wants help. (Unless you're triggered by the mention of death but even then please ignore the topic and take care of yourself. Triggers are hard to deal with but it's also hard on the other side too.) Respawners aren't mentally ill (And, FYI, mental illness shouldn't be treated as an insult.) And respawners don't always "need help." To be clear, there are different types of respawners. There's people who want to respawn to not come back (which can be done with shifting as well), there are people who respawn for spiritual reasons which has been a practice for years, and so on.
I think the only time I have a problem with Respawning is when it turns dangerous. For example, someone doesn't care if they shift or not in the process. Which is a different type of respawner entirely. And again, I don't support the action when it turns into that but I will fully support the person. Life can be really tough and when someone doesn't care if they shift or not in the process is when I really want to go to their house and violently care for them. Obviously, I can't because 1) Social distancing 2) I'm not allowed on social media so it would be hard to explain JDBSJDND 3) I'm not sure they would consent to me coming to their house 4) Caring or loving someone doesn't solve the issue 9 times out of 10.
BUT, back on the topic. What I'm trying to say is when someone is like that, don't push them away. Respawners are still people. People will emotions. Pushing someone away isn't really helping their "you should stay" point. Because it just makes them look rude or with a goodie goodie attitude that really isn't goodie goodie.
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Another thing, I'm sorry that you've gone through that and honestly the behavior is beyond rude. I'm not saying I should force people to accept eachother because obviously it's 2021 and it's the internet, no one is going to get along completely. But I would like the community to AcTuaLlY do some effort into accepting respawners OR AT LEAST accept that they are also a part of social media and excluding them isn't going to do anything. It's the internet.
Honestly, I won't ever understand what you've been through because I'm not you. But if you're really sure Respawning is for you then I won't object. Like I said, I'm in the middle lane right now because that's where I want to be - but I'll support you as a person and, again, I'm really proud of you for getting this far and actually choosing to go find another life. It's a difficult decision for people in abusive situations to choose a new life. It often comes with guilt, questioning, and worry (and I'm sorry in advance if that's not your case and I'm assuming.) But to put it short, I'm really proud of you for choosing to have a new life instead of just ending it without any plans. Yeah I know Respawning it technically death but I'm proud of you for at least choosing it instead of leaving entirely without it. You're worthy of a new life and I'm still very proud of you for making it this far.
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lunebinnie · 5 years
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(1/11)Oh my gosh yesss I'm glad that you like long messages too because I talk way too much 😂 (And yeah about my friend and just hanging out w/ her more that's exactly what I was thinking 😂) It's actually kind of funny bc just yesterday I was hanging out at her house and her younger brother needed to go to Walmart and I was like 'I've been meaning to go to Walmart, I'll take you' and ofc since I have a bluetooth radio adapter the whole drive I had my Spotify going with some quality k-bops, lol
2)And as we were driving I noticed him kind of jamming and I was like 'Oh my god Mickey do you actually like this???' And he was Like 'yeah, these are some good bops 👍' I was shooketh. I had to go home before I had the chance to show him any music videos but he says he's open to watching some with me next time I see him. One way or another I'm going to turn someone in my social circle into a kpop fan you mark my words ☝ and then maybe we can team up and try to work on his sister some more 😂
3)I only started first getting into kpop last June so I'm still very new, but it's definitely super frustrating how so many ppl act like it's an inherently bad or cringey genre of music just bc it's kpop! The stigma is ridiculous! I also started out with BTS (lol) and since they're pretty popular in the US at least I was able to be like 'See, this isn't just a niche thing, lots of people know abt and like this group' but of course my dad still says 'Just cause it's popular doesn't make it good'
4)And I'm like? You're a band teacher, you of all people should understand that music doesn't have to be in your native language (or even have lyrics) in order for you to enjoy it, but go off I guess... It's the same with one of my college friends. They make fun of me for liking kpop but this is coming from some who still treats March 22nd (the day My Chemical Romance broke up) as a day of mourning. Like, no tea no shade no pink lemonade, MCR was a good band nothing wrong with liking them.
5)But like if you're 22 and you still haven't grown out of your emo phase do you really have room to pick on other people for their music taste?  🤷 Anyway that's the person who follows my main that I didn't want to know I had a kpop sb. I think I made it around July. Tbh it was pretty dead for most of 2018. But like I said I've started using it way more since I recently revealed that it exists, lol. Especially since that good good Astro cb 👏💗😩 But honestly Astro is such a blessing
6)Idk how I lived so long w/o them. When I first got into kpop I was planning on just sticking to BTS since the reaction to me being into kpop was so volatile. I was like 'I'm only into one group, ppl already are negative about me liking kpop so I'm just gonna stick to this and not become a full on multifandom fan' and then in Nov I accidentally let myself fall in love with Monsta X and that plan was foiled. And realizing I wasn't gonna be able to stick to just one anymore opened the floodgates
7)And I was like okay in that case, let's just start getting into *all groups* Lol. My story of getting into Astro was actually bc of my best friend's roommate (can you tell I have like one friend and my whole social circle kinda revolves around her? Lol) so this roommate when she heard me being sad about having no kpop friends was like 'oh hey, I'm kinda into kpop' and it turns out she didn't like very many groups and was one of the ppl who blah blah BTS is overrated, which ya know isn't ideal8)But I was just really desperate to have someone to talk about kpop with. And Astro was her favorite so I was like, okay I'll get into them so that I have something to talk about with her! So I started watching some videos and I fell in love with them pretty much instantly! And I was real excited bc #1 now I can talk about kpop with someone! And #2 this group is actually amazing? Bonus! ... And then they got in a big fight about their living conditions and the roommate ended up moving out RIP
9)So that didn't work out, lol (Your story about finding them during that internship sounds amazing though! Haha) But yeah, so this is my first cb too! And although I love them w/ my whole heart and would have loved to have them in my life even sooner what an amazing cb to be your first! The concept was wonderful, the album was excellent, the visuals were to *die* for. They worked so hard and I'm so proud of them and I'm so happy we got to see their work come to fruition and get them a win 🤧🤧
10)The dance practices though? You're so right omg 💗 Me and my Rocky bias *fully* understand 😂 All of them are such good dancers?? I never fail to be impressed. Of course you know who I always end up watching tho 👀 lol (̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶c̶k̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶t̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶.̶.̶)̶ ̶ I also love how at the end they always pause all dramatic for a minute and then start screaming 😂
11)It's like? Amazing talent *and* dorky personalities? What more could you ask for? Lol. In regard to your last question though Unfortunately I also won't be able to see them 😔 I live in the smack middle of the US and since they're only going to coasts all of the venues are way too far away to get to. Esp since it's the school year and I can't skip class to drive cross country for a concert much as I'd like to (Holy lord I talked over twice as much?? Why am I like this?) Talk again soon! -ASA
Okay SO I’m very sorry I haven’t had the time to answer everything until now bc I’ve been busy studying for midterms and also I was a lil trashy today since my uni closed bc of freezing rain so I slept in but I’m glad that FINALLY everything got sent like damn tumblr you really don’t want us making friends huh. 
Yessssss I love the feeling of seeing someone else also get into the same interests! I’ve been pretty lucky in the sense that I grew up around mostly other asian americans, so kpop was never something that was considered super “weird,” like some people were into it and some weren’t but even if you weren’t you still would’ve been familiar with the more popular groups from when you were younger. Even now, I have a bunch of friends also into kpop (one of them is even my roommate) so tbh I was definitely the one in my friend group late to the party aha. Even my university hosts kpop nights at our bar and I’m pretty sure we have a kpop dance team as well? So tbh if I met someone new there’s probably like a 50% chance they’re into kpop or at least listen casually. 
Tbh I used to be a little bit judgy too but moreso because of the obscene amount of money I’ve seen some of my friends spend (no joke one of my friends has spent probably like $500+ on Loona stuff in the past month and a half and another friend bought like 5 copies of the same album for herself like damn idk how do you have that much money).
I also really don’t like it when people bash other people’s music tastes, since I feel like it’s something so personal? Idk but for a long time I used to be really self conscious about sharing my music with other people and even now I feel like that sometimes. For me after getting into BTS I kind of expected to get really into other groups since I was in Korea anyway and I was already listening to a lot of other artists casually. For me it started with NU’EST (fell for them immediately at the same concert that I saw Astro at) and then after was Astro, and then I just started slowly getting into other groups after that (even though I haven’t totally been able to get into Got7′s music they’re SO funny and I just kinda fell for their personalities  you know). 
I honestly think that they did such a wonderful job with this comeback too! I like seeing their concept evolve and mature but they’re not straying too far from their original cute concept so I feel like it’s a nice middle ground that’s very unique to them, you feel? Also I feel like the visuals especially and the execution of the whole plant concept was just done so well?? Even my friend who’s not in kpop was like “k idk who they are but that was the prettiest music video I’ve ever seen”. What are your favourite eras and songs? For me I’d have to say either the Spring Up or Baby era BUT right now my favourite song is probably Again/Should’ve Held On though tbh my mood and my tastes change like every few weeks loool. 
I have no idea why I tend to be most attracted to the dances rather than vocals or rap (maybe has to do with the fact that it’s something I’ve always wished I could do but have always been bad at lmao). But Astro’s stood out to me for the exact same reason! I just thought it was so funny seeing them all break character at the end because you really get to see how hard their choreos are and you get a glimpse of their personalities like damn, how can you not stan these dummies?
That’s really unfortunate that you won’t get to see them either :/ They’re also coming to the closest city to me but it’s on a Tuesday, but I *hypothetically* looked up flight prices and tried to see if I could get away with just missing a day of classes if I flew back in the middle of the night since I have some friends who did the same thing and drove down to Buffalo but I seem to have underestimated the size of New York State LMAO. But apparently my university’s too far from the airport so it’s “not realistic” (and also I’m hella broke from travelling to Taiwan and Japan while I was in Korea but that’s a minor issue ig). I hope we do both get a chance to see them live though! Who knows, after the success of this comeback I’m expecting a lot more cbs and world tours out of them ;)
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