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pigeonwhumps · 8 months

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"Did I do good?"

Immortal Cannon Fodder masterlist

Taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch @whumpinggrounds @painful-pooch

Whumptember day 1: "Did I do good?" | mentor whumper | young hero | blood loss

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CWs: immortal whumpee, minor whump (aged 16), hero whump, abuse, panic attack, PTSD, implied flashback, burns, accidental whump, begging, training whump, misunderstandings, low self-esteem, caretaker new whumper, phobias, Whumpee convinced whumper is helping (I have no idea what to call it – conditioning? Brainwashing? Idk)

Phoenix sits and shivers in the kitchen, shins wound around the legs of the chair. Abbie lounges in a chair opposite, arms folded, legs stretched out comfortably. Her face is stern, like it usually is, they can't tell what she's thinking. It makes them unaccountably nervous.

They'd like to get something warm. But Abbie wants to do their review before they go anywhere, and as their mentor, she gets the final say.

"So, it's the end of your first month here. How do you think you're doing?"

Phoenix swallows. That's always the hardest part of anything. How do they think they've been doing? It's tricky to answer.

"I've, um, I've been learning, sir," they say, quietly but firmly.

"Hmm. I do think you should be learning faster. After all, you've barely improved since we first met, and that was two years ago now."

"Oh. Yes, sir."

They don't mention that for most of those two years, they weren't allowed to use their powers. Abbie already knows that. Instead, they swallow hard. There's something they need to know.

"Did I do good, sir? Today? So far?"

Abbie makes a considering noise.

"You're doing okay, but I can't say more than that. You really need to improve your control over your powers. You don't want them visible all the time." Her gaze moves pointedly to their flickering arms, which they quickly cover with their sleeves. "Quite frankly I'm not sure how long it's going to take you to learn control naturally. That's what these are for."

Abbie pulls out a pair of gleaming metal cuffs and sets them on the table. Phoenix feels like a bucket of ice has been tipped down their spine, and they don't know why.

"They'll suppress your powers, except for your immortality, which is always needed. I want you to feel what it's like not to have access to your powers, so you can work towards that feeling. I think it would be good for you."

Phoenix freezes. They feel both hot and cold, unable to move, staring. No. Nonono. If it's anything like when they stopped by choice that time for weeks, they really don't want it. Abbie says it's good for them, so it should be, right? But they're not sure they can cope with that.

"Please, sir, please, I can't stand it, please, anything else, just not that, please."

"Phoenix," growls Abbie, "what did we say about talking back?"

"Not to. But please, sir, anything else, I'll do whatever you want, I'll suppress it myself, I've done it before, I can do it, please please don't make me do this."

They're frantic, spitting out whatever comes through their mind, they can't do this, they can't, they have to get out of it, it's way too much, and maybe they deserve it but they can't cope with that.

It's not long before they feel a strong heat on their arm and yelp, then scream as it heats up until it scorches.

They're not going to cry. They've been through worse, emotionally speaking, they're not going to cry.

Abbie drags them through the corridors, her hand a burning brand on their already-bruised arm, until they reach a small door. Phoenix frowns at it. What's going on?

"I'm sorry, Phoenix, but you need to learn."

"What– no! No, please! I didn't, I didn't mean to, please don't!" They scramble forward from where they hit the back wall at Abbie's push, it's no more than a foot forward, but she blocks their path, and it's pitch-black dark around the edges all of a sudden, no lights inside. "Please, please let me out! I've learnt, I promise, please–"

Abbie raises an eyebrow. "You haven't, though. You need to learn how to control your powers, and you can't do it out here, there's a danger you'll hurt us. Give me your wrists."

Phoenix sticks them out, trembling, and Abbie locks cuffs around them. Immediately they go cold, empty, like what makes them them is being sucked out of them.

"Please," they whisper. "Please, Abbie, sir, don't shut me in here."

"I'm sorry. But it's for your own good. And ours."

Phoenix sniffs. She does look regretful, but then she shuts the door, and they can't help banging on it desperately. It's so dark and small and it's terrifying, they can't stop seeing the monsters that haunt it, that haunt them every time they're shut in the dark and the cold.

But then, Abbie can't know they're scared, right? It's not her fault.

"Please," they sob, desperately, as loud as they can but still not very loud. "Please, let me out. Please, sir, I'll learn, I'll be good, please."

But despite their pleas, no-one comes, and they discover that they are going to cry after all.

Aaron sits Phoenix down on his bed and passes them the mug of hot chocolate, carefully wrapping their hands around it when they don't move.

"Thank you, sir," they whisper, taking a sip that reveals the slightly-chipped triceratops inside.

"Hey. It's just me, Phoenix. It's only Aaron."

"Aaron." Their eyes start to fill with recognition, and Aaron nods.

"Yeah."

"I– I– what–"

"You freaked out after you got burned in a training bout. I'm so sorry about that, by the way, I didn't– it shouldn't have gone that far. I shouldn't have left you alone with him, even though he wasn't someone we already knew would hurt you. I'm not sure what you were thinking about, but it was pretty bad. You were begging."

Phoenix swallows, looking down, away from Aaron's gaze.

"I'm sorry. Did, um, did I do good, sir?"

"Yeah." They don't mention that they always do. Phoenix won't believe that. "Can you tell me what you were thinking about? You don't have to, but I'd like to help."

Phoenix sets down the hot chocolate and twists their hands together in their lap, not looking at Aaron.

"Abbie used to help me train by, um, taking away my powers so I knew what it felt like, so I could, um, work towards it. But she did it in the dark as a punishment, and, um, it wasn't big, and so when the power went out and you tried to treat the burn it was, um, too much. Too much. Please, sir, I don't– please."

They look up at him cautiously and gulp, mistaking his look of horror and disgust for one of... thoughtfulness, maybe? He's not sure. All he knows is that Phoenix says, trying their best not to sound reluctant or scared, "You can do it too if, um, if you like. I know I, um, deserve it. Just, if it's not too much, um, to ask, please, please can you not burn me on the way, sir. It's too much, um, with that as well."

"No. God no." Phoenix badly suppresses a flinch. "No, not that way round, I– shit. I'd never hurt you or punish you in that way. That's needlessly cruel." They can think of several other words for it, but they don't want Phoenix to shut down. And they will if confronted with the reality of Abbie's treatment.

"It wasn't always bad," murmurs Phoenix. "If, um, if I was good, if I apologised and learnt well enough, Abbie would let me out early. She did that a lot early on. She was, um, she was very lenient with me, despite how much I failed."

Aaron's jaw tightens in a way that makes Phoenix's eyes flash with fear before they cover it. Aaron squeezes their hand.

"Not angry at you, I promise. You should never have been forced in there in the first place. That's not the way to train someone. Your team should never have terrorised you to try and force you to learn."

Phoenix shakes their head, curling in towards Aaron. "They didn't terrorise me. I'm fine."

Aaron raises an eyebrow. "So your claustrophobia and nyctophobia hasn't gotten worse since you started here, then?"

And Phoenix... they don't have an answer to that.

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liauditore · 9 months

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The thoughts, hand em over. (No pressure but I wanna hear em :D)

oh god what have u done.

context.

OK SO,. (BE WARNED THIS IS LIKE. REALLY LONG AND BRAINROTTY.)

first off i must put here as per the law i am not in fact armchair psychoanalysing mc youtubers grian and mister scott S. major this is me looking at the 3L series as is it were a performance and their actions in said series as characters and blah blah blah so on so forth this is Fanfiction and Shipping and woowoOOwoo We Are Being Sillyyy with a miku song.

i'm gonna infodump abt a bunch of stuff including some heavy topics like emotional abuse and dubcon (NOT in detail the song just has those vibes)

so uh if you're reading this for Some Reason know that 👍

ALRIGHT WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY Vampire the song itself is (at least my reading of it) a song about a toxic relationship. The singer is very much not a Good Person and the main chorus is just them disregarding their partner's needs and pushing the relationship even further.

But the singer isn't completely irredeemably evil, since they really do love the person they're abusing (in a childish sense of the word love, anyway) and seem to be at least acutely aware of how they're not really a good person.

But of course, they "eh whatever" these self-reflections pretty fast cus they're having fun with the relationship. This specific set of translyrics reads to me like a bit of self-victimizing as well like "oh, I'm so tortured by feeling like a bad person because of the way I treat you. But I love you so you don't really have a choice but to forgive me."

Speaking of translyrics this is where Micchi's version comes in. While I ADORE Rachie and Anthong's version I do have some nitpicks..? And one of those that I am unreasonably pet peeved by is this right here.

In the original JP version, the lyric is simply kimi mo vampire, meaning simply You're (also) a Vampire. It's alot more obvious a change and hits harder imo than "My little Vampire" which still puts the singer in the position of power.

Micchi's version of the lyrics on the other hand stick a lot closer to the original

And I might just be imagining this but there seems to be a switch in the power dynamic in this version as well. The singer is now inviting their partner to be "rough" with them and the repeating mantra of "you're the ONLY ONE for me" sounds more desperate than anything else.

Micchi's lyrics in general are a bit more wet cat coded. I still prefer Rachie's as a whole but Micchi's singer definitely seems to be more regretful of what they've done and blame themselves for essentially turning their partner into a different, more hostile person. (aka turning them into a vampire lol)

In a lot of ways the vampire metaphor is really unsubtle. Bloodsucking parasite attaches themselves to someone and turns them into a bloodsucking parasite as well.

SO HOW THE FUCK DID I GET GRAIN AND SCOOTER FROM THIS WELL.....

When I think about 3L one of the main things that lights up the lightbulb in my mind is the parallels between all of the four "main" partnerships, with Renchantyn vs Desert Duo as the most obvious comparison point but I think they all mirror and subvert each other really well.

Grian/Scott are like birds of a feather to me in a similar sense that Scott/Cleo are, but while Scott and Cleo have this mutual understanding with each other with Grian it's a bit more complicated.

I CAN't. FOR THE LIFE OF ME. FIND IT AGAIN bUT there was a bit in Third Life when Scott said to Grian "and maybe once our husbands are dead we can be free" and Grian laughs and that basically inspired this Whole Thing 🙏🙏

(an apology for all the wholesome flower husbands shippers who i know follow me cus im about to unleash my full toxic yaoi adaptation of them) (desert duo fans from what ive seen are already insane so you're okay)

In my own mind Grian and Scott are both somewhat.. manipulative? Might be a bit harsh of a word? But they definitely play to survive more than some of the other people stuck in there with them. (cleo too but she sucks at it and she can get her character analysis essay next week)

At least in my view, their partnerships with Jimmy and Scar respectively were born more out of a need for safety in numbers and to get someone to essentially keep them safe until they're no longer of use. Grian definitely felt bad about creeper-ing Scar in the first episode but I don't think he was quite expecting to spend the whole series in debt to him 😭😭

Scott (like the singer in the song oh my god) isn't really a monster so to speak, just someone who has a messed up view of love. Probably has some sort of tragic backstory that explains the way he is that we'll get to see in the anime adaptation idk. He does care for Jimmy but in like.. the way someone might care for and love a pet. You LOVE your dog to fucking death but you wouldn't like.. trust your dog with taxes or respect its autonomy.

also these lyrics are both hilarious to me considering the uh current brainrot.

Grian on the other hand probably Wants to be like Scott and be able to have someone wrapped around his fingers like that but he can't cus it's Scar not Jimmy and he's Grian and not Scott. I imagine he'd get tired of Scar's shenanigans when he's with him but as soon as he's left the room it's all why's it so quiet D: where's scar D:

I like to think that everytime he THINKS he has a handle on Scar finally and can actually stand a chance to survive this thing Scar does something completely unhinged off the wall and Grian's like WAIT WAIT WAIT NO

basically he gets way too attached and doesn't like it and to make it worse he has no idea wtf is going thru Scar's head👍

SO when they eventually team up I think Scott and Grian would have this little "wink wink nudge nudge they don't know" kinda thing going on.

and then in my little fanfiction world somewhere along the line Scott would end up sensing that Oh, We're actually not exactly the same.. interesting.. and kind of start looking at Grian with this sense of amusement/pity cus aww, look at you getting all attached to the person you were planning to betray, that's so cute and Grian would see the worst of himself reflected back to him via Scott. It ends up strengthening Desert Duo's relationship if anything else.

Of course then Jimmy dies and Scott's emotionally destroyed by it but he's still like.. skirting around it. I'd like to think he gaslights himself with any genuine Emotions he has cus like.. he knew this was coming, this is all according to plan, so why would he feel anything for him now that he's gone?

While Scott gets some time to come to terms with the fact that he actually cared about Jimmy too late for him to repair their relationship Grian and Scar end up punching eachother to death in a cactus ring. The End 👍

tl;dr i need to pick up writing fanfics cus oh my god

#asks #HAHAHAHAHA DON'T READ THIS #op is Unhinged #usually im more normal on my main i promise #but writing all this down was fun i should do it more #despite it all this couldve been even fucking longer #if i decided to go even more in depth w/ my toxic yaoi fh and whatnot #cus i do think jimmy ends up catching some bad habits and scotts like oh god what have i done a bit #BUT i am going to draw them again and i can rant abt them there #i think i almost wrote scott too evil here a bit?? but i reassure u he's just a Guy #like trap me in a death game i would manipulate a naive blonde boy too tbh #but i'd end up being grian cus im small and angry and unable to get a proper read on scar goodtimes #heavy brainrot #i might make this songs thing a series i liked doing this alot....#i need a funky lil tag for it.#trafficshipping #<-- for filtering #trafficvocabrainrot

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scarletwitching · 1 year

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If you could rewrite several things about Wanda, what would they be?

I think I have rather basic preferences in terms of which comics are Bad and Should Not Have Happened. Certain things are obviously offensive and published during times when Marvel editors were letting writers do whatever, and that sucks. John Byrne? Sucks. Do not like him. I'm not the first to point out that continuity, for all its joys, negatively impacts female and minority characters in disproportionate ways. Beyond the big, obvious answers though, I don't especially want to erase much. It's all part of the tapestry, and the pick-and-choose nature of the canon means I don't have to care about most of it anyway.

My unique-to-me answer is that Marvel has done some reprints of old Avengers comics where they recolored Wanda's hair from black to red, and that should be stricken from the record. Stop this redhead propaganda! Give her her black hair back!

I realize that's not a rewrite, strictly speaking, but...

Maybe a more satisfying way to look at your question is, if I could start over from the beginning, what would I do? Tom Brevoort said in a recent newsletter that writers frequently pitch a do-over/restart of the Ultimate Universe (see also), so if I were to pitch a fresh reboot of the Marvel Universe, what would my pitch for Wanda be?

There is not much from the original Ultimate Universe that I consider worth keeping. This, maybe, if only for laughs. I don't love the probability powers, mostly because they don't make sense and not in a fun magic way, but I am amused that they accidentally make her a math savant. I wouldn't care about keeping that aspect one way or the other. She can be a math genius. She can not be a math genius. I do not care. There's nothing else worth even mentioning in Ults (and I'm not getting into rewrites for The Movies, even though any actual comics reboot would naturally be influenced by them, because we don't have time to get into All That), so that leaves us with the main universe to pull from.

First rewrite: The Brotherhood of Mutants are not evil. They're not villains.* They've just separated themselves from human society. I am so tired of "the villain has good ideas, but they've got to kill a puppy to prove that you shouldn't question the status quo TOO much." They can be a foil to the X-Men. They can be allies with ideological differences (maybe leading to the formation of Krakoa or some other island nation at a later date). But no more of that same fucking villain plot. It's tired. Do something different.

If you're introducing a new version of Wanda, she should start out as a teenager by default, and personality-wise, I think 70's Englehart is the way to go. Strong personality. Not a wallflower. Kind of bossy, not the biggest fan of humans. She can change over time, but that's a good starting place. Be creative with her powers, however you define them. No omnipotence shit. Let the inventiveness take the spotlight.

That's a good foundation to go off of and potentially launch into stories about the Avengers and whatnot. I'm not so worried about the precise backstory details (I wouldn't get rid of Django, but the specifics are not too much of a concern). I guess my overall rewrite is digging into the mutant separatist thing from a more modern angle, emphasizing creativity over raw power, and giving her the Englehartian personality from the start, along with the easy stuff like more respectful portrayal of her background and not doing the truly awful mental illness/trauma portrayals. There's a million other little details to get into from there, but this answer is already long.

*If I have another pointless rewrite to add to the main universe, it's that they have to stop saying she started out as a villain. No, she did not. Abused children are not supervillains. Stop saying this nonsense.

#anonymous #answered

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blysse-and-blunder · 2 years

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in lieu of making any progress on the end of the semester

9:30pm, sunday, dec 5, 2021

i swear i spend so much time thinking about what to say in these and i get very excited to spill all my thoughts and secrets, and then completely run out of time every week. i'm doing this instead of other Necessary and More Important things bc i simply cannot skip again, i have to get this stuff off my chest and close the tabs so here we go...!

reading since the last one of these i wrote, i've finished the book of three by lloyd alexander, all systems red by martha wells, and have tried *so* *hard* to finish the sunne in splendour by sharon kay penman. quick thoughts here include how much the book of three reminded me of narnia in that mid-century, post-war jolly uk children's fantasy, though of course i did enjoy the welsh dimension. fascinating to think about alexander's decision to use gwydion as he does, fascinating to know more about the actual stories and some of the names being played on than i would have if i'd read this as a youth--i wonder how hard it would have been to shake my first impressions of some of these characters if i'd come to this first, rather than the actual PKM? e.g. Arawn, who is much spookier in this book than in pwyll.

my murderbot take is going to disappoint the murberbot fans in the audience because i really zoomed through this first novella, listening to the audiobook, which-- i don't know that this novella worked for me as an audio book! the sci-fi terms and jargon, which is so satisfyingly done in general, was hard to parse and a lot of the world-building was hard to keep track of only listening (and i could rewind to relisten to parts when needed, but i was also lazy). but on the other hand, having a real live voice to bring murderbot itself to life was sort of perfect, given its own ruminations on being a sec unit and what that means re: personhood. it shaped my understanding of the character, sure, but in a way that immediately reinforced all of the empathy i already felt building for this narrator. the only things i have to say about the sunne in splendour are that a) this is clearly not shakespeare's richard iii and i can accept that, finally, b) i really want to know how penman's suggestion of the actual culprit behind the princes in the tower mystery stacks up against the other historical theories out there, and c) all the good things i might say about the experience of reading this book pall before how bloody long it's taken me. i would like to be over now.

watching continued with succession by finishing season 1 and watching the first to episodes of season 2. i spend a lot of this show talking back to the characters, telling them "i don't...think that's true?" when they say things to each other, and avoiding watching decisions that lead to inevitable second-hand embarrassment. currently convinced that kendall is dissociating most of the time, shiv and logan are going to turn on each other asap, corporate espionage and verbal abuse are just love languages for these people. greg is going to be the nhs/sleeper mastermind somehow, i say not having avoided spoilers all that well but having mostly avoided spoilers, and tom is manages to combine being so incredibly self-conscious and also so un self-aware? it's mesmerizing but sometimes i can't actually watch.

also started watching prime's wheel of time, which is a good time since i've read the first three +/- books, ages ago, but don't remember much at all, and so am really well-positioned to have vaguely fond reminiscences stirred up while simultaneously not giving much of a shit at whatever they've changed. i'd like to take this magic system apart with a really fine-toothed comb and rewrite/reinvent everything about it that smacks of gender essentialism, i'd like to queer and/or trans the one power's genders, but mainly as i watch right now i like seeing the pretty people in the pretty landscapes. this show's aesthetic is the opposite of grim-dark, they've turned up the color-saturation and it's just...fun. lan and moiraine are very attractive and their whole Thing is very attractive; it's the intimacy and devotion for me. haven't seen episode 5 yet but excited to keep up.

i finally finished word of honor but this is a long-ass post already so the hot-takes are: my interest in this ended up being solely based on the charisma of individual actors' performances, and in that, i really enjoyed it. shout-out to gong jun and everything he brought to this. put your leading men in eye-shadow, say i! let them be a little feral!

listening bouncing around through lots of different musical tones and styles lately, but the noteworthy stuff of the last week or so was me introducing myself to sunday in the park with george, in order to better appreciate sondheim, and also dipping my toe into patti smith's oeuvre. it's been a time.

youtube

playing (and also a bit more listening here) i don't know what level of stress and/or burn-out leads you to getting completely distracted by once-beloved classical music, but i hit it on thursday this week. i stumbled, delighted, onto the fact that the new york philharmonic has scanned and uploaded a bunch of scores to their digital archives, and it was a sudden rush to realize that i had the house to myself and could use the scan of the flute I/II-piccolo parts to play along with a recording of aaron copland's appalachian spring. the recording i was listening to, aurora orchestra, helpfully split it up into the separate dances, which made it easier to follow along in the score--and it turns out, the piece was scored for a 13-piece ballet pit orchestra at first anyway. while i personally do like it from a full orchestra, lush and shimmery, and prefer to treat it as a tone poem without a definite narrative (landscapes/abstract imagery a la fantasia is what i've always heard in it, rather than specific characters), it does dance. those time signature changes are a nightmare, but i feel mostly fond and satisfied by their quirks and misdirections after having just listened to the piece for years, and it was a rush to see them in print for the first time.

https://archives.nyphil.org/index.php/artifact/294a07e6-51fe-41e7-9543-5160b7443296-0.1/fullview#page/1/mode/2up

to my absolute delight, the music librarians apparently do not erase previous musicians' marks in this archive-- breaths, counting, the proof of other hands on these pages. on the last few lines of the flute ii part, there are a series of notes from previous players, the first one mostly scribbled out but still recognizable as some form of 'god help us all', with subsequent notes from the 1970s and 80s with later players agreeing or disagreeing (because of the counting? lol), and...god. loved to stumble on that. between that and getting to try my hand at the solo bits, and experience even this distantly the way those chords come together, sweet never saccharine, occasionally ecstatic but always sincere-- it really salvaged that afternoon.

making yardwork, mostly. is that generative, or just maintenance? it was cathartic, anyway. began to snow just as i was finishing.

working on i'm going to have to submit this diss proposal without written feedback from a couple of these clowns, won't i. fuck.

#in lieu of a commonplace book #ilcb #*slaps the side of this post* this baby can fit so much stream of consciousness in it #weekly roundup

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dragynkeep · 3 years

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Irish-American musician speaking. I just want to say a couple of things (a) i appreciate that other people are at least willing to criticise Jeff (even though i don’t agree that he was copying “ethnic” styles of music because that’s just bullshit and he was just going for a specific feeling, because that’s how music works) and (b) i really appreciate that this blog takes James' character seriously and not whatever the fecking hell the writers think they've done.

i did want to say that i'm really upset about it as a person with an autistic specturm disorder. i doubt the writers (bless their hearts) realised it, but the semblance they gave James is one of the hallmark signs of ASDs, especially in adults and young people. given the way they've always written him until the end of season seven, i really related to him and his struggles for a variety of reasons. i could get just as angry about the way they've portrayed military service (my dad is a similar ranking to the character and has been through some shit) especially given that a lot of people in my family have or are serving, but i get the sense that everyone sees how problematic that demonstration is. the former is a lot more subtle, and it honestly upsets me more.

and then there's all the bullshit surrounding Penny (they should have just left her dead or given Winter the powers to begin with for fuck's sake). firstly, i'm just going to come out and say that i've hated the way they've used vocal music to bash us over the heads with messages the last few volumes. Cinder's TWO (whyyyyyyy) songs in just that one episode this volume were basically narrating what was on screen which took away from the moments and the second one during her fight with her mentor was just plain bad. i thought those two were the worst we were going to get but apparently i was wrong and we get whatever the hell "Friend" is. (although i will say i bet the only reason they threw in that second song for Cinder was because Casey just had to get publicity for her shitty band). but look. i'm lgbtqia myself and it really (especially considering Penny and Ruby's intereactions) felt like queerbaiting/bury your gays but i'll set that aside. making Penny human (a) took away the only unique/interesting thing left about her character and (b) her death was essentially a glorifying suicide "for the greater good" which really slaps in the face of people who have honestly suffered from depression and suicide.

this isn't the first time that they've shyed away from trying to explore serious subjects, but it is particuarly gross because of the song. an earlier example of them doing this is with regard to "the path to isolation" when Casey felt the need to say Weiss has never cut and that she wouldn't do that. while that was (to say the very least) a bit uncomfortable for her to just drop that, it sounded like she just wanted to avoid talking about the subject because it's too dark. i have a lot of problems with Casey and her actions over the years, but i think it's important to note that SHE WROTE PENNY'S SONG. she is the one responsible for this, and she keeps talking about how great it is and how "humbling" the experience was. bitch no. you can't just take only praise and get mad about critisicism to the point where you basically recieve none anymore.

besides, Casey is pretty hard to understand because she STILL doesn't enucniate much when she sings so if she and her dad are going to keep being basically worshipped hand and foot by people while recieving no criticism even where it is due, then they shouldn't be in this or music. part of being a musician is that you SHOULD be critiqued by your peers and even by just casual listeners but that doesn't happen and they (but especially her) don't improve. by no means do i think Casey and Jeff are the worst of CRWBY, but they are part of the problems with tone in the storytelling and they should be critiscised for it more.

oh god this is a long ask & it’s like a month late, please forgive me.

yeah, my issue with the whole jeff issue was never that he was “copying” ethnic music, though there is a discussion to be had when that music comes from closed off cultures like my own & others & how that should be respected, but that this vague claim by someone who’s lied to push their headcanons before was using it to claim ruby & summer were romani coded when there has been anti gypsyism sentiment in crwby before via arryn’s sexualization of us. i simply don’t trust these white americans to write any gypsy ethnic groups’ stories with any sense of respectability & it was on a baseless headcanon anyways so. that frustration was easy enough to let die down.

i also have a lot of issues with how ironwood was treated, especially as a disabled person & some of the fndm’s insistence to treat this fictional military as a 1 to 1 representation of the flawed militaries in our world is just utterly frustrating. especially when they use that to justify theirs & crwby’s ableism towards one of the few disabled characters we had on screen. i don’t have a place to speak on any autistic representation or harm from ironwood or his semblance because i’m not autistic but i am sorry that you were harmed & upset by this portrayal of a semblance that isn’t even canon, because it features nowhere in the text explicitly. hell, ironwood’s va had to be told what his semblance was from a fan. all this harm & hurt & it’s for something that isn’t even featured in the story. ridiculous.

i’m really trying not to waffle on in this ask because it is so long already but yes yes yes. i agree with you completely, the way that songs are crafted for this world & featured into it most of the time doesn’t fit with what we’re shown on screen. weiss’s songs feature a patriarchy & go over the same arc like five times, as well as those lines alluding to self harm. jeff & casey can cry that they didn’t mean it that way but there are certain themes brought to mind with certain wordings & you have to be mindful of this when you write them; we had this same issue with people believing mercury was sexually abused by marcus because “i’m the one” featured the word defiled, which is most used in a sexual context. when we come to learn that it meant his soul was ruined by his father stealing his semblance, that still didn’t erase the sexual allegory & jeff should have been mindful of those types of themes when he’s writing these songs. often times it feels like the songs & the show are giving us two different stories & both give off different meanings & themes.

not being able to take criticism seems like a common theme in crwby, self admittedly from miles himself who said he “wants” to take criticism but doesn’t like it when “it’s done in a mean way.” that criticism has to be fair & nice, which is a solid sentiment, no one’s going to listen if you’re being an asshole but here’s the rub. nothing is ever nice or fair enough for them. they always find a way to turn even the most innocent of criticisms or questions into a personal attack & it’s pathetic. jeff & casey aren’t exempt from this. like you said, part of being a musician is criticism from your peers & much like you don’t need to be a chef to tell if there’s dogshit on your plate, you don’t need to be a writer or a rock star to tell when a story isn’t making sense or a song isn’t good.

& for fucks sake, i’m with you on them needing to enunciate better. i’m hoh, please jeff & casey, it’s hard enough for me to try & listen to songs that i want to enjoy without having to wonder what word you’re mumbling for this third rhyme in bad luck charm. fuck that song’s rhymes.

#rwby #rwde #owl.txt #answered #q #long post /#im so sorry it took me this long lmao #Anonymous

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smartzelda · 4 years

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Okay *Demyx voice* Arendelle time!

Poor Sora😂

That gust of snow just moves in and he's like "Coat! Please! I'm an islander!"

Donald just shrugs it off like "That's not how it works. Go and freeze."

This is where I bring up the "kh3 is self aware thing" again because now we actually have Sora dying from the snowy area, and then when Sora just like completely forgets about it, Donald and Goofy are like, "Islander my butt. He's not even feeling it anymore, is he?"

Sora getting the first puzzle piece to the situation when Elsa runs away, a sad look on her face. Y'know, the beginning of that Riku to Elsa and Sora to Anna parallel, Elsa running away because Anna and the whole Kingdom are better off without her

Elsa: *uses magic*

Sora, Donald, and Goofy: *surprised pikachu face and slightly fearing for their lives*

If I'm remembering correctly, there's a section right here where you basically fight a bunch of enemies in the huge area

I distinctly remember running around, (and Xion could vouch for this) fighting the enemies, and very monotonely voicing that I was about to die

So...ice maze.

In my proud runthrough I really had to get to a save point so I zoomed through the ice maze as fast as possible. This time I took the time to explore every room and beat all the enemies. I still hate light rails with a passion.

So, the avalanche gets started at the top once we reach the palace, pushing Sora, Donald, and Goofy off

I... The ice dragon thing was so bad. I spent forever, dying and dying and dying to their stupid laser beams. It happened so many times that I had to go to bed and try it again the next day. I would get to the part where all three flew in the air and shot beams, and it felt so unpredictable and stupid and impossible because I would dodge beams from two, and the third's would appear right under where I was landing, which was impossible to judge. It was here I learned a lesson: Use the Kupo Coin when you need it

Bless the kupo coin for saving my stupid butt

The sled part after that stressed me out cause it wasn't hard, but I had a bad habit of bumping into things, so...😂

I pretty much just abused shotlocks, ultimate form, light form/double form okp, and thunder or thundara or whichever I had at the time and I finished those dragons off

Spiky brown grass 😂😂😂😂

Poor Sora is so frustrated that he didn't get a color like green or blue like Donald and Goofy

The part where Anna talks to Sora about Elsa and he finally puts some pieces together and relates it to him and Riku really gets me every time because their situation is a big Soriku parallel. I know this is one of the scenes that's probably been soriku analyzed to death, but like

Elsa and Anna used to play all the time when they were really little like best friends

Baby Sora and Riku, best friends, used to play together all the time

One day, Elsa shuts Anna out because she doesn't want to hurt her

Kairi enters the scene, Sora starts paying a little more attention to her, Sora and Riku's duo relationship isn't terrible, it just does a little decrease. The literal shutting out in which Riku and Sora close the Door to Darkness. Then, the shutting out when Sora wakes up in kh2 and Riku alienates himself because of his guilt over what he did, and what leads into the next part of the parallel

Elsa accidentally uses her ice magic and flees the kingdom to the north mountain. She alienates herself so she can't hurt anyone (especially Anna) and because she thinks the kingdom and Anna are better off without her

Riku feels like he can't win without using the power of darkness and is weak. He is ashsmed that he relied on darkness and it showed in his appearance as Ansem. He alienates himself from Sora and everyone because he feels like he can't show his face as Ansem and because he thinks Sora is better off without him.

Sora, of course, puts these pieces together with Anna's story and makes the parallel connection between him and Anna, then Elsa and Riku in his head. I like how he says, "If anyone can help her, it's you," because I feel like that's him remembering his situation with Riku when he wanted to find him and that because of the reason for Riku's actions, only he could help.

And I think it's interesting that it's first Anna saying "I have to bring her home" and then Sora saying "I'm sure she knows now much you love her" for him to make these parallels. I think that implies that Sora gets that Elsa and Anna are siblings that love each other and he's thinking over what Riku means to him and even what he means to Riku.

Also Sora (in jap ver dialogue) realizing that maybe Riku pushed him away because he's someone precious to Riku is like...

My heart bro...

Ngl, so many times here I moved up the mountain fighting enemies and died that I'd go halfway up the mountain, then backtrack all the way back to the save so I wouldn't have to keep completely starting over every time I got oneshotted by an armored body. I did that multiple times for this area.

So, we get to the point where Sora finally reaches the top of the mountain again. For whatever reason I couldn't remember if it was like that before, but the Elsa freezing Anna's heart scene and it flashing between that and Sora, and then Sora holding a hand to his heart in pain right after we see the shot of Elsa putting ice into Anna's heart.

I think it's a parallel and Nomura's tryna tell us/foreshadow something

Okay, so big oof on the Marshmallow fight. I think on my proud run I got a bunch of times to use the team attack with the tree. I swear I only got to use it twice counted up from all my attempts on this run

The suckiest part was armored mode. I did a lot of trying to let Donald and Goofy do the work here cause I didn't wanna get oneshotted, but that didn't always quite work out... I eventually did it though, snd of course Sora, Donald, and Goofy are knocked off the mountain again

Idk how mant times I'm gonna keep saying this, but poor Sora. He's just so done and frustrated. "I could do this a hundred times."

And then Donald and Goofy both take him seriously 😂

"Please don't."

"Yeah, we should do it again!"

Awwww, Marshmallow. He just wanted to protect Elsa. I know that's what he was created to do, but that's still sweet

Sweet Sora boy making friends with anything that moves and we love him for it

Marshmallow made my life with enemies a little easier ngl

At the save point right before seeing Kristoff, I did some meteorite farming in gummi space and took a trip to the bistro. By this point I had excellents on all but 3 dishes because I didn't have the ingredients yet.

Also, by this point I was blessed with adorable remmy and Sora getting presents. Remmy got his own tiny present!

And I'm sure you know this already, but like...I have a soriku obsession right now, so I enjoy making things into little personal Soriku references

Exhibit A: My gummi and Teeny Ships

They are both named after Yozora and contain the colors for Sora, Riku, and Yozora

Okay, so back in Arendelle, Sora, Donald, and Goofy temporarily leave Marshmallow behind, and we come upon Kristoff and another Soriku parallel

Kristoff: "No, Sven! We're not going back. She's with her true love."

Riku: "You mean Kairi. To Sora, she's someone very special."

Sora: "Where'd Anna go?"

Kristoff: "She's back at home."

Sora: "Something happen?"

Kristoff: "Anna was struck in the heart by Elsa's ice magic. If the ice isn't removed, she'll freeze forever. Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart. So I took her back to Arendelle and to her true love, Hans."

Xion: "Do you know where Sora is now?"

Riku: "That secret stays with me."

Xion: "Why's that?"

Riku: "Xion...your memories...they really belong to Sora."

Xion: "So you mean...I'm like a part of him?"

Riku: "When his memories were scattered, some of them...found their way inside you. Now, Sora has been put to sleep so that we can piece together his memory."

Sora: "But...what about you?"

Kristoff: "What about me?"

Sora: "Uh, I sorta assumed you guys were..."

Kristoff: "Nooo! I just keep her from getting lost."

Xion: "So, do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?"

Riku: "Nah, I guess...I'm just sad.

Sora: "Really? Oh, but you seem so..."

Goofy: "Perfect together!"

Donald: "Yeah, like me and Daisy!"

So let's talk this over.

Point one, both assumptions on who the person in question's (Sora and Anna) true love/most important person is. This may have to do in part with some surface level stuff and Kristoff/Riku's anxiety that the person in question (Anna and Sora) probably doesn't like them like that.

Point two, the person in question has had something bad happen to them such as their memories being "erased" or their heart being frozen, needing some sort of action to save that person.

Point three, neither Riku nor Kristoff factor their feelings into the situation, Kristoff because he just feels the duty to save Anna and doesn't believe he is her true love, and Riku because he feels the duty to save Sora snd similarly does not believe himself to be Sora's special person (which didn't exactly factor in in Riku's case, but it's true he too pushed his feelings aside in all areas except saving Sora).

Point four, "I just keep [him] from getting lost" is totally something Riku or Sora would say about the other.

Point five, I added the last part because despite the insistence that Hans is Anna's true love, Sora, Donald, and Goofy agree that it seems Anna and Kristoff are perfect together, and it especially helps to know that on their side, they've seen that Anna and Kristoff work well together. They haven't seen her with Hans, and even in the movie, she and Hans don't get much screentime development. This is a parallel more to the soriku experience. On our side, we see Sora and Riku get a lot of screentime and development together, and it's clear that they care for each other. So when someone, even in game, insists that Kairi is most important to Sora, it feels like, "Oh, but Sora and Riku seem perfect together" and "But Kairi and Sora don't really get development like that or really much screentime together."

So, resuming the story (and the parallel), there's a gust of wind amd Kristoff looks towards Arendelle. He obviously feels something is wrong and says Anna's name before rushing off. I'm being completely honest, we've seen Riku too rush off, feeling that Sora's in danger. Prime example I remember though would be in the keyblade graveyard when Riku just gets a feeling and runs over to Sora, giving him a pep talk sorta just before everyone else gets swept up.

So, Marshmallow too, just like Kristoff, feels something is wrong, and gestures in the direction of Arendelle, saying Elsa's name, and the group is off to save Elsa and Anna.

And then, another parallel! Yes, Arendelle is Soriku parallel city over here!

Before Hans' sword reaches Elsa

Before the demon tide reaches Sora and Riku

Anna stands between the sword and Elsa

Riku stands between the demon tornado and Sora

Anna puts her right hand out to block the blow

Riku thrusts the keyblade in his right hand forward, directing the darkness around him and Sora into a tunnel

Anna completely turns to ice and saves Elsa, an act of true love

Riku attempts to save Sora at the expense of his own life, an act of true love, and is swallowed by the darkness

Anna gives one clear final breath

Riku gives one clear final breath

Elsa, alive due to her sister's act of true love, realizes the power of love and is able to save/unfreeze Anna

Sora's heart and body persist, arriving in the final world, his heart likely persisting due to Riku's act of true love, and his body due to Kairi, and he believes in himself and is able to go save Riku's heart

Just...ya know...food for thought...

And now, boss battle time! I believe I didn't have too much trouble on it when I dodged correctly. I beat it fine. One of my favorite shots I saw though was Sora using subzero impact with Ultima, but his clothes were the formchange color because I had just hit Ultima form right before. It was literally so epic!!

No, Marshmallow! You can't die this way! I need you to battle things for me-! Uh, I mean, you need to be alive because we care about you!

Just kidding Marshmallow! I love you and you're actually a nice snow giant with a big heart!

Cue Sora getting the example of the power of true love when Anna unfreezes.

THE PRETTY ANIMATION

Pretty animation Sora, I looooove you

Poor boy caring so much about everyone. He just wants to keep everyone safe.

And after Elsa gives another demonstration of the power of love, Arendelle is over.

#soriku #sora x riku #kingdom hearts 3 #critical mode #arendelle #parallels

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thesagedahlia · 4 years

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🕊Cassie: A Caged Bird Set Free🕊

When it comes to Cassie, I do find it unfortunate that all she ever was associated with was being Diddy's girlfriend for a good chunk of her youth. I always felt she could have been a larger star had she gotten from under Diddy, but I always felt she had potential to take other paths in her career. I truly believe it was the lifestyle that kept Cassie with him, because she never struck me as a "happy woman" being with him. Diddy is a pretty toxic individual, that's plain as day, but I don't feel he would ever own up to abuse that he put ANY of his women through, let alone Cassie (when I say 'abuse', I'm speaking generally & not directly relating this to solely physical abuse). Seeing Cassie with Alex & her new family? THAT'S happiness. No matter what I pick up in the cards I put down, I refuse to deny the complete 180° Cassie's story took; from being on the arm of a powerful mogal, to being with a true soulmate & feeling the high of life. I always believed that Cassie was meant to have a certain lifestyle, & I never saw her wanting to be in the public eye all her life. I never wanted Cassie to stay with Diddy because I knew she was going to want her life back one day, & that's exactly what happened.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not declaring, nor am I insinuating, that anything I say in my predictions are true accounts of any of the parties involved. This reading is for entertainment purposes only, & should only taken as such. All in good fun, folks 🤷🏾‍♀️🧿

🕊What is Cassie's default demeanor/personality❔

She has a lot of compassionate & divine/magical energy, & she is a person that is always seeking for knowledge. She truly has the best intentions in mind for other people, & she is the type of person to help those in need without expecting anything in return. She has woken up to her self & her own personal power, but she is denying her emotional truth. I get there might be a masculine energy watching over her as well, could be a family member or an ancestor. I feel like when it comes to how she is truly feeling, she is able to trick others into believing that she is okay, & I think she does a lot of that with her husband. He is very protective of her & she likes to ease his worries about how she feels, but I feel like he knows when she's trying to brush off her anxieties/sadness. She does this to avoid a confrontation or conflicting conversation that will upset her. She has coping mechanisms when it comes to leaving people out of her emotional current, & again, this is something that Alex is starting to notice. She is still holding onto her trauma & she hides it with excessive enthusiasm, but she could be coping with either depression or deep sadness. I feel she is coming out of it & she is slowly recovering because she still feels a little defensive when it comes to have something that feels like a blessing to be taken away from her; she has up an emotional wall but Alex is helping it slowly, but surely, come down. What is also showing up here is that she has a love for art of all forms, & she is even talented in many pursuits herself; I feel like she has many more (secret) talents that a lot of people don't know. We definitely don't know Cassie as much as we may seem, there is definitely so much more to her.

🕊What is surrounding Cassie at this time❓

I'm actually getting a gross energy trying to get to her (I have psychic reasoning to believe it's Diddy), & it honestly feels like it is something that's trying to distress her. I have a feeling Diddy, people from Diddy's camp, who are mutual friends of Diddy, or people close to Diddy, try to get through to her via social media, but they may be people trying to keep tabs for Diddy or he may be trying to get back in with her as a friend, through others. I feel she is suspecting that this person (we can speculate that is Diddy; this person has had a possessive, deceitful energy, & she has a history of love with) well try to gain sympathy for their past together in the public eye. She doesn't seem to trust this person due to a checkered past (now who else would that be?). Meanwhile, Cassie is in a more stable/secure place in her life, & this kind of stress is the last thing she needs. It really feels like a dark cloud that is looming over her & trying to get to her. Either she has been hearing from him recently or she is going to be hearing from him soon. I feel she tries not to let it get to her, but I feel it interferes with her focus on her marriage at times. She has been coming into her own since she released herself from the past, which allowed her to neglect herself by being devoted to a fault. Since releasing from the past, Cassie has been redirected on to her correct path all at once. I still feel she has her days, but her marriage with her husband helps her to heal. She's awakened a lot since Diddy, & she is seeing the truth of her past with him through the emotional fog. She's been working hard to heal her heart chakra, & she feels like she's finally reaching a place of emotional security. I feel a big worry for her is allowing herself to open to abuse, as she's done in the past. I feel there are times where she can't be open about these things with her husband because she doesn't want him to worry about that. She is wanting to move on from the hurt that has been having a hold on her, & she doesn't have any intent on rehashing her past, since there is a lot of sadness she still feels; stuff like trauma that doesn't go away overnight, that will take her some time to heal from.

🕊What was the relationship dynamic between Cassie & Diddy❔

I'll tell you there wasn't much love on either side of the fence within this connection. For Cassie, she is very artistically & intuitively inclined, & she was determined to make a stable foundation for herself. I feel like she was able to keep a professional relationship with Diddy & that was where she wanted to keep it. She even had an entrepreneurial spirit that had plans she wanted to execute. Unfortunately for her, Diddy was in a controlling energy when it came to what was going to be done with her career. Diddy on the other hand had every intention to fulfill a desire, or muse with Cassie. In fact, I'll go as far as to say that he had power to block any opportunities that she could possibly achieved without him. He himself was acting out through a childhood trauma & wounding. Diddy was dealing with a lot of demons (I won't say hes necessarily faced (all of) them) which allowed him to project his saboteur energy on to his relationship with Cassie, which also made its way into her career. Cassie was able to financially capitalize off of the way she looked without compromising the power of her own spirit; then comes Diddy. I won't say that she was forced to stay with him under his will, in fact she was free to do whatever she wanted, but only as long as it was with Diddy & it was within his personal restrictions. She's seen that man's shadow on many occasions, as we can imagine, & as she seen that overtime he allowed them to grow & thrive, much to her disdain. She has thought to leave the situation many a times before actually leaving. Diddy, in many ways, was trying to recapture his youth with Cassie, & it was actually a total drain of her own personal power. They created a toxic trauma/soul tie with each other, which is why Cassie is still uneasy about it & why it took her so long to leave. I don't want to speculate too much regarding pregnancies, but I see a miscarriage or loss of a child being what finally brought her to her senses. She knew she wasn't going to get anything good out of being with him, & she had intense feelings & reasons to believe that he wasn't going to change/grow with her. So their relationship wasn't on a lovey-dovey side, not even in the least bit.

🕊 Will Cassie & Diddy reconnect; as friends❓

For Cassie, right now is a no, & I don't think she's sure about the future for the time being. She's very cognizant of his power & what he is capable of, & she doesn't believe he will change.

As for Diddy, Cassie's expectations seem to be correct, he's not going to be able to grow enough for her. I feel like it will take him to open up his being to heal his trauma; he has too much pride to admit it to himself, let alone heal it. He would not reach out in a genuine manner right now, that's for sure.

🕊 What is surrounding Cassie & Alex Fine's marriage at this time❔

Right now, they seem to be hitting a rough patch, & it seems like there have been instances where Diddy, or people within his camp or close to him, has already trying to reach out & get in touch with Cassie. It feels like they've dealt with the 'elephant's in the room, which was the fact that she is still hearing from him, but Alex still feels a certain type of way about it, though he chooses to mask how he truly feels to his wife. He feels like he is fighting for her, or fighting to be with her, while Cassie finds this connection that she has with Alex to be a spiritually healing one; she has changed a lot, thanks to this marriage. She feels Alex/this connection has rescued her, & she believes this was a blessing/gift from her ancestors. I do feel Alex believes in Cassie's love for him, & he loves/trusts her in return; it's Diddy, & anyone associated with him, is what he doesn't trust. Alex feels Diddy is very unpredictable & unstable, based off of what his wife has told him, but I feel they have been open about nearly everything; what Alex DOESN'T speak on is his disdain & paranoia regarding the whole thing. He has a respect & recognition for her that he heavily rewards her with his loyalty. I feel he is a source for a lot of beautiful words & great advice to offer her as well, & she definitely learns from him, just as he learns from her. I feel Cassie's ancestors come to her & give her guidance dealing with Diddy's pop-ups & she is more aware of how to handle it; which is really to ignore him while she's trying to eject him from her system. It was a point where she would be on the verge of breaking down but her husband has been helping her through that. It really feels like they are trying to get over a dark cloud in their marriage, but they intend to be okay within the connection. I feel Alex has actually posed a threat along the lines of, "If you keep hear from them again, I'm going to say something", & I wouldn't be surprised if he already has. Overall, they're in a happy space together as a couple, & they continue to teach & uplift each other.

🕊 Will the Fine's marriage last for the long haul❓

There is potential for a long lasting marriage, but there is still this conflicting energy that is underlying & leaving one (or both) of them guarded. I'm getting that their meeting was destined & divinely orchestrated & it has room to go far, though there is still an unpredictability that needs sorting out. Despite there being the energy of opposites attracting one another, there is still love here that is unconditional. Concrete emotions/feelings have been established between them, but there is still external strife regarding an expected outcome (of a message). I feel legal action suggested to be taken after concern of this income. This feels like people who have caused stress or who was a part of her past life (with Diddy) that still try to reach out to Cassie, which causes her to have some stresses over it. I feel if a restraining order hasn't already been established, they are in talks with a lawyer about their options; they feel like Diddy is a huge concern for Cassie's mental/emotional health, as if he has ways of getting to her which she may be expectant of (I doubt any of this will be publicized, they plan to have a very private marriage life). I see her ancestors/guides pushing her to heal these parts of her that feels stagnant because of her past. Like I said before, she's getting there despite still having her moments. Despite dealing with this dark cloud energy, Cassie & Alex are actively building towards the future & have a 'wait & see' attitude about everything. There is emotional healing/purging that needs to happen before she could get into a confident place in her marriag, & the sense that she can brief about anxieties from the past. One thing I did see is that Cassie may want to branch out onto her own profession/career that she is passionate about but may be having some fears about how it will go & a part of her is worried that Diddy will be surface in her life in some way. Until she can heal from this trauma, she will be able to fully enjoy her marriage in confidence.

🕊 What lies in the future for Cassie + advice for her❔

Cassie will be facing her own emotional cycles, as well as fulfilling familial obligations. All of this new energy and experiences are able to be teachable on both ends of the spectrum; She is growing & learning with her husband & daughter, & she will be uncovering her true self in the process. She will be going through major changes/cycles that may take her through highs & lows, but it is all in an effort to achieve peace & balance in her life. She isn't finished with dealing with dark days where her emotions are uncontrollable, but she still plans to move forward. She's working through an energy that has made it hard to trust others, but Alex means her well so she is finding it easy to trust him, thereby learning to be open with others again in a more "organically Cassie" way. I feel there is a lot of inner turmoil that she isn't acknowledging or that she is holding onto. Caring for her daughter is helping to teach her patience and love in all forms. There is a duality that needs to be understood instead of oppressed. I also feel she has a lot of ideas/projects that she may want to invest in, but she never acted on that calling because of what she would be up against. I expect her to be very lowkey about her life in the public, as well as her marriage, & she may not even shared these passions or desires with many people. She believes she is destined to heal others through her own healing and that is her exact approach and motive from here on out (a career move she decides to take will probably be a reflection of that). She's allowing her ancestors/spirit team to guide her & she is working on her surrender to trust to the higher workings.

Advice: Cassie may be trying to heal a wounded energy child of hers. She may need to be careful expressing her pain or sadness their self destructive or uncontrolled ways. She has to be careful not to take on the world problems as her own, as well as an undiscovered or unexplored temper/anger that can build-up & manifest into something out of her control. There is also an issue of her being entrapped in her head that may be less than helpful to her. Cassie knees to allow all of herself to crumble what she is clinging on to so she can become inspired again; a 'destroy & rebuild' tactic. She should come to realize all in her life that is beautiful & find faith in being 100% open to any and all possibilities available to her. She needs to focus on lifting the veil around all that she use to allow as truth; she must have more of an questioning approach to everything. Anything unaligned with her spirit will need to be removed from her life, whether by her own doing or by the hand of spirit. She needs to approach things as a mediator for her own personal energy; she needs to be able to have neutral motives or fairness when it comes to herself & others, & she needs to establish the proper boundaries that will protect herself from those who mean her harm.

🕊 BONUS QUESTION:

😤 How does Alex Fine feel about Diddy + his kids (mainly his sons)❓

Alex feels Diddy is plotting behind the scenes, as he has actively tried to get under Cassie, & his, skin. He may be worried that Cassie's grief toward him is romantic, which is far from true. He harbors a lot of resentment for Cassie's past, & he doesn't trust that Diddy won't try to keep resurfacing. He also feels personally that Diddy thinks too highly of himself & his negative judgment of reality. He doesn't agree with his lifestyle, but he feels his motives/actions are coming from a hurt place. Alex's overall view of the Combs' brothers is that they are 'grown up products' of their father & to see them go down a certain route would be unfortunate to him. He also feels grief for 2/3s of the boys' loss of their mother (he slightly feels this grief for Diddy as well, which he feels contributes to his theory), & he finds it unfortunate they don't have a positive influence in their father. He does believe Diddy has some demons & darkness that dwells within him & that he is an unstable person.

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m1serere-n0bis · 4 years

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Anyways. I don't care what the rest of you all have been doing during this but I have been trying to listen better and pray more.

For those of you who don't think that's "enough"... Sorry but I don't owe public opinion shit. The only person I owe an explanation to is God. I don't owe anyone information on what I'm doing in private. I don't owe anyone information on what I am/am not supporting financially or otherwise. If your personal opinion is that I'm not making adequate use of my voice or platform then that's rough buddy, but my voice is not the one that needs to be heard right now and also what platform? As a society hyperfocused on social media ESPECIALLY NOW DURING THIS PANDEMIC we have to come to terms that we all have lives outside of it and we don't "owe" each other ANY information about that in spite of what our culture tells us. Like if this is what "community-based policing" means, I can already tell you I hate it and it's oppressive.

For those of you who think this is a political power play, I would say those concerns are valid but there IS a REAL problem that will still be there when all the political pandering and posturing is done. And we need to fix it. Part of the reason I haven't been hyping what everyone has been telling me to hype in the name of activism is pretty much this:

Do I think it honestly matters which political party is in charge for changes to happen? No, because I do not trust the SAME GOVERNMENT BACKING THE POLICE to take the money THAT IS STILL TECHNICALLY IN THEIR POSSESSION and funnel it into the communities that need it in any way that will actually address the racism inherent in the system. HOWEVER, that doesn't stop me from listening to what my brothers and sisters in Christ are telling me are their experiences not just in a society that is supposed to have progressed past racism but in the BODY OF CHRIST itself. Because it's there, everyone. Yes, it's not overt. Yes, not everyone is actively engaging in it but if we are truly One Body then we owe it to each other to make reparations for sins that aren't ours. It's what we've been doing for the child abuse scandals, is it not? The majority of us were not involved but do we not still carry the burden of that sin simply because we're Catholic, because one part of the One Body committed this massive hurt?

So anyway. The goal of this post is not to make anyone feel bad and it is not an invitation for people to pile on me because I haven't vocally supported x, y, z. This is an invitation to listen and to pray... which should always be the first step, EVEN WHEN THERE IS AN IMMEDIATE NEED FOR ACTION. (Maybe ESPECIALLY when there's an immediate need for action.) And holy shit are we not good at that or what? 😂

1) Fr. Mike Schmitz' homily this week was an invitation for us to listen to God and let Him tell us who He is because only by doing that can we see the image and likeness of God in each other. We've lost that in our wishy-washy prayer lives that inevitably end up with us trying to force God into an earthly construction in which He doesn't belong. We try to tell God who He is because the world is too noisy for us to hear Him tell us about Himself. And that inevitably trickles down into us trying to force each other into boxes before recognizing the human dignity instilled by God in all of us. The internet feeds into that by making us faceless virtual entities, thus making it that much more difficult to recognize our humanity. I can read faceless stats for days but if I don't have ANY CONTEXTUAL IDEA where those numbers are coming from, they're empty. They're easily manipulated into whatever whoever is selling me them wants me to think of them if I don't have someone LIVING THOSE STATISTICS giving me context. Right now the media wants us to feed on the controversy surrounding BLM movement without telling us that these communities have been MARCHING IN THEIR COMMUNITIES FOR YEARS AGAINST THE VIOLENCE THEY INFLICT ON THEMSELVES and it is the same media blackout as any March for Life. The media doesn't care unless they have drama they can use to stoke more division and that's the tea.

2) Fr. Josh Johnson is on fire right now, everyone. Like him and Chika Anyanwu are two voices I wasn't listening to before that I'm thankful to be hearing now. If you're wondering how God can be good even in the midst of chaos, turmoil, and pain, this is it. If you're struggling to separate the Black Lives Matter Organization from the heart of the issue, this is how God is doing that. The Church needs to hear these voices. They have real experiences to share. They are part of the Body of Christ, and they are really hurting through these thousands of small cuts.

I would recommend listening to the Jeff Cavins Show episode Distance Amplifies Difference where he has a conversation with Fr. Josh. They both have tremendously unique WORDLY perspectives to bring to the table on the issue (Jeff Cavins is a white man but has children who are black and they live in Minnesota and are literally witnessing the heart of this first hand in the trenches, and Fr. Josh is the son of a black former chief of police) but ultimately discuss how we as a Church can work towards fixing it.

Fr. Josh and Fr. Mike's dialogue on Ascension Presents is also really top notch. I still have to finish watching it, though. 😅

I can't believe I wasn't following Chika before because as another single Catholic woman, I feel like I've found a sister in Christ experiencing the same ups and downs of Catholic singlehood (her Instagram Highlight was like HILARIOUS and also a truth 😂). Her family's small business got looted during the rioting but I believe they've since been able to shut down their Go Fund Me since people gave them enough support to get it back up and running. Anyways, I'm glad this amplification of black voices brought me to hers.

3) Fransican Friars of the Renewal Fr. Agostino and Fr. Pierre Toussaint discuss their hopes for the movement from their perspective as people of color and as servants of one of the poorest neighborhoods in NYC, the South Bronx. Their dynamic is great because Fr. Agostino is like a Gryffindor on fire and Fr. PT is like a soft-spoken, phlegmetic Ravenclaw. I understand that energy. 😂 (I'm also a phlegmetic Ravenclaw) One of my takeaways was Fr. Agostino's opinion that we can't just posture and leave it up to the government or orgs with ulterior political motives to make things right because he's seen firsthand how well THAT goes. However, all that means is that we as people of God have to dig in and do the work our own dang selves. They're also hopeful that this discussion of the police force being built on a foundation of racism will eventually lead to the discussion of Planned Parenthood being built on the same. They said that 42% of the pregnancies of the predominantly black and Latino population in the South Bronx end in abortion. 42%!!!!!!!!!!! If that is not a wake-up call that systemic racism is alive and well and we are abjectly failing women of color as a society Idk what is. But also their analogy that society is a MESS of a dilapidated house and we have to pick ONE place to start and stick with it if we really want to fix it up is also the truth.

4) Did y'all know about Our Lady of Kibohe? This is a Vatican-approved Marian apparition that appeared to three teenaged girls in Rwanda a little more than a decade before the genocide (which she warned them about). There is no one in Creation demons and Satan hate more than Our Lady, and there's no better weapon against them than the rosary. There has been a call from our brothers and sisters to rend our hearts and even if you don't see, think, or believe there is still racism within the Church, will you not pray for Mary and St. Michael to help continue keeping it that way, then?

Our Lady of Kibohe encouraged us to take up the practice of praying the Seven Sorrows Rosary. I tried it for the first time last week and I have to say, even with my super basic limited knowledge of black history in the United States, it was not hard to see how their suffering could easily be united to the sufferings of Christ and Our Lady.

I guess my conclusion is this: I have my own misgivings about blindly supporting any ol' cause that happens to be trending on whatever. The Black Lives Matter ORGANIZATION has a manifesto touting things that are contrary to the Catechism for SURE, but when my brothers and sisters in the Church are telling me they are in pain RIGHT NOW and saying, "Hey, listen... They're right about some things... These are the things and we've experienced it IN the Church..." then they deserve to be heard. We owe it to them to listen because they are a part of us. We need to expose these sins to the light instead of denying they exist or claiming to be past it. We ALSO need to be charitable to those in different parts of their journey. Is it FAIR to bear the burden of others' sins and make reparations for them? Heck no! But we do it. Jesus did it for us. We do it for our brothers and sisters in Purgatory. What's the difference for bearing it for our hard-hearted brothers and sisters on earth? Nobody is perfect but we all are made in the image and likeness of God and thus inherently carry human dignity.

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