I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.
Turns out that was a perilous mistake.
Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me
What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:
LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"
The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--
How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls
And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:
Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.
Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)
Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:
Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me
Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:
I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.
And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...
I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.
How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.
Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.
230 notes
·
View notes
Daniel Ricciardo on his Zandvoort crash, surgery on his broken hand, recovery process, and return in Austin
Tom Clarkson: "Now you mentioned the elephant in the room, Zandvoort. FP2, Turn 3, what happened?"
Daniel Ricciardo: "I *awkward laugh*, I mean I obviously can remember it very clearly, since I didn't hit my head. Erm, but, so you come through, turn, I guess it's Turn 2, and it's over kind of a crest, but then you stay quite tight, because, then the line for 3, you ride the top of the banking. So you know, you're not taking a conventional racing line, so you're not like looking at the apex, you're looking at the top of the corner, pretty much. Like, as a driver, we're always looking ahead and normally like at the apex, but the way you exit 2, you then kind of look straight ahead and pick your braking point."
DR: "So at that point, I'd exited 2, I hadn't seen any yellows, nothing like that. And then by the time I've looked and braked, I then looked where I need to turn, and I see Oscar. This all happened so quickly, but I remember, I can, obviously I'm picturing it in my head now. So I remember, okay, the line we take is high and by this point I'd braked, so I'd already committed, so I knew the speed I was going. My only choice was to take the high line, but I could see his car was at the top of the track. So there wasn't enough room for me to pass through the high line. I'm going too fast to take a low line, so it was either, probably look like a real idiot and crash into him, or try and just slow the car as much as I can, and likely just crash into the barriers, which is what happened."
DR: "But yeah, because it was all, I guess I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do, by the time then I'd committed to just going straight, I hadn't then realized, 'okay, take your hands off the wheel.' And a lot of us still don't do it, because crashing is not natural. And it happens so quickly, because you don't plan to crash, so a lot of the time you don't kind of have, yeah, the time to be like, 'okay, I'm crashing, what do I need to do? Brace myself, okay, take my hands off the wheel.' Sometimes you just don't have the luxury of time."
DR: "So, that was it, I hit the wall. I've only watched one replay, but I just don't, I don't want to. Basically, when I've gone in, I'm pretty sure like the right front, it's just the angle, right, the right front would've grabbed the Tecpro [barrier] first, and then that's, like, pulled it in, so it's, it's like I've turned really hard right, the way obviously it's grabbed the wheel. So because the wheels then turned so quickly, I've basically lost grip, so it spun out of my hands, and the bottom of the [steering] wheel, which is pure, hard carbon, has then come up and basically karate chopped my hand."
DR: "So then, you've got the shock of the crash and then adrenaline, so I've come on the radio, and I'd, I think I'd been like, oh sorry, like I've crashed or something. And then, is he like 'oh, you alright?' or 'can you continue?' and I was like, 'no, the car is damaged.' And then, I could feel my hand, and I was like, 'ow, my hand, my hand.' And then I just, it started to, like the pain just went, obviously ramped up really, really quickly, and I feared that something was bad. So, as I'm, I wanted, I was like, 'I need to get my glove off, I need to get my glove off.' And as I'm pulling my glove off, I remember, I was thinking, *awkward huffy laugh*, I was like 'if there's a bone through the skin, I'm gonna pass out.' So that's all, I was just like 'please, please don't let me see anything gruesome.' I'm not good with this stuff, I'm sweating telling it, like I'm serious. I suck at this.
TC: "Have you broken a bone before?"
DR: "I broke my arm as a kid at school, throwing a tennis ball. Anyway, yeah, another very random accident, and I didn't need surgery, that was like a long, long healing process."
DR: "But yeah, so, alright, so I've pulled my glove off, and I, I could see it was already quite swollen, but no bone through the skin. I was like, 'okay.' But then the pain just got so bad, so as soon as I jumped into the medical car, I was *long pause* making a lot of noises, because I was in a lot of discomfort. So I knew that it was not good. I knew immediately, obviously, I wasn't going to race on the weekend. Like I didn't need a doctor to tell me. I feared it was a broken bone. I think the first thing that really kind of just made me sad, was I just had a very, very productive summer break. I felt really, really good physically, and I was just, yeah I was just ready to go. And this just felt like an unfortunate setback. But I was just more worried about surgery and all that, because I'm, again, I'm a bit of a wuss.
TC: "What happened next, I mean, you went down to Barcelona, to Dr. Xavier Mir, who is renowned in the MotoGP world, for mending those sort of breaks. I also think he was, didn't he help Lance Stroll earlier in the year as well?" "Yeah" "So who put you in touch with him, or did you know him already?"
DR: "So from the medical center, we went to the hospital there in Amsterdam. Got scans, and they're like, 'yeah, it's broken.' And by this point, it's the size, like, looked like an elephant stepped on my hand. The doctor there said, 'look, I would recommend surgery.' He's like, 'you can have it here, but you probably want to wait anyway a few days for the swelling to go down. Speak to whoever you need to speak to and obviously you can have your surgery wherever you want, I'm just going to give you my advice.' So then we reached out to Lance, we reached out to, well Jose, a friend of ours who works with Alpinestars, so he knows all the MotoGP guys, and he, he's Spanish as well, so he knows. So he, I think, put us into touch with Xavier Mir, and then, yeah, Lance was like 'go to him' as well. All signs were just pointing to, this guy's done this too many times, just go see him. Like, like don't even bother, just go there.
DR: "So it was, it was a blessing and a curse because, *laughs* he does a lot of MotoGP guys, who, are not human. They are not. It's fact, they are not. So, I think there's an expectation of me going in there, he's like 'oh, F1, MotoGP, same! Not human, don't feel pain.' 'No, doctor, I feel pain. I'm going to cry for the next 48 hours whilst I'm in this hospital.' So it was just funny, they, I think, you know, all the doctors and nurses and that who were helping me, and they were great, but I think they were, they were just quite, they would laugh a lot, because I would wince and pull away and ask questions every needle that went into my arm. Erm, so I think they just thought I would be tough like a MotoGP rider, but I am not."
TC: "I'm sure you were."
DR: "No, no, trust me, I'm not. The break itself was quite significant. It was a shatter, like it wasn't like, oh you just break it clean down the middle. I think it was in eight pieces or something. So it was also, for a bone that can be quite a simple one, it wasn't too pretty."
TC: "So it's your pinky that was being affected by it?" "Erm, well..." "On your left hand?"
DR: "It's like the outside of the hand. So that's the bone I broke, in between like the wrist and the pinky, like that knuckle. So like along the outside there. But even me just rubbing my finger over the top of my hand, hurt like crazy. Maybe I just feel pain more than others, I don't know. *laughs* But er, sorry, I just want to, just let's also say one thing. There was also the reality where, yes, I would moan and complain because I don't like the pain. But it was a broken hand, so there was also a part of me which was like, 'look, dude, yes you're in pain and it's going to be a bit of a process, but people have worse injuries, people have bigger accidents.' So don't get me wrong, I also tried to reality check myself through it all, and I think that's what made me quite, like remain quite positive."
TC: "You missed five races, you came back for Austin. Was there any talk of you getting back earlier, maybe for Qatar?"
DR: "So I knew, I was doing physio every day, and I was, I was doing what I could to come back as soon as possible. But I also wanted to make sure, and I think, you know, Red Bull/Alpha Tauri were really good with this, I wasn't fighting for a world championship, like it's not like, dude you need to just drive through immense pain and just get a point, you know because this is your titles on the line. Like it was, let's make sure you do this and heal properly, and get the right treatment, because also you've got, hopefully a second part of your career which is going to be long and glorious. So it was just, don't compromise anything that you then have a bum hand for the next two years of your career, three years, whatever. So it was good, I could just do it properly."
DR: "Qatar was talked about, I went on the sim the week of Qatar, on the Monday, but I couldn't, er, yet, drive with the full force of the steering, like so we would like bring the feedback down. Er, I just couldn't grip it and do more than like two laps at full strength. So it was very clear that Qatar was out of the question, and also for me to come back and like, yeah, I don't know, not drive at my best and then, no, that no one benefits. I don't benefit, the team doesn't. So er, it was that, at that point we're like, let's just go all in for Austin and make sure I'm good for that."
TC: "And Liam was doing a decent job as well"
DR: "Exactly, he was doing well and there was also, I think Red Bull were great to give me a contract whilst I was injured, to give me a contract for next year. So I, I had that-"
TC: "That was very significant, wasn't it?" "Yeah" "They actually signed you long-term when you were on the sidelines?"
DR: "Yeah, there's so much about being back in the Red Bull family this year that's felt good and right, and I think that was such a, yeah just such like a big thing for them to do that. I think obviously it showed they have a lot of faith in me. It also put to bed if anyone was like, 'oh you know, is there still any issues from their previous relationship years ago? Like is there any carryover tension or whatever?' Like, for them to do that, I think it was very much like, he's our kid and we're going to support him because we believe in him and- So that was really nice."
TC: "So you come back for Austin, and were there any ill effects there? Because I mean, that's a quick track, sector one in particular."
DR: "Er, no, like in, in short no. Erm, I think the race, I got into it quickly and, and, and I was actually honestly expecting more pain in Austin. I was expecting like every kind of bump or kerb I'd hit would be like 'ow, ow, ow.' But it was okay, and erm, I think it was just an endurance I needed to build so like, towards the end of the race, I could feel like my grip strength was maybe not as good as at the start of the race. But honestly, I was, I was fine. And I think that was another thing, I didn't want to get back into a race and then be like, 'yeah I could have done better, but you know, my hand was not up to full strength.' Or like, I was like, this can't be an excuse, and it wasn't, so it was all good."
TC: "And Daniel, you were never going to miss Austin, right?"
DR: "No, I couldn't. I would've loved the result to be better, but no, I couldn't miss Austin.
TC: "The track, the place"
DR: "Yeah, yeah. I love it."
78 notes
·
View notes
Easter with König
It's another holiday, which means I'm going to make my favorite fictional Austrian go through the holidays as well. First was Fasching, now it's Easter! If I have to celebrate it, then so does König, except he gets to have a better time doing it!
I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d meet his family during Easter. It’s a tradition of his to go to his parents’ home during that time for a visit and a chat, he only sees them maybe twice a year, so he can appreciate having a small get together with them. He normally gets along well with his parents, but he’s lost most of the contact he had with them ever since he hit his mid 20’s, but he does look forward to seeing them. Naturally, he’d take you along for the ride, regardless of whether you actually know German or not. He can play interpreter for you, it’s not a problem for him. But if you know German already? All the better, that way his parents and you can just talk to each other with no problems. He does hope that you’ll get along with them, they did play an important part in his life when he was younger.
König genuinely hopes that you will like the traditional Osterjause*, though. He’s loved Easter for that reason, and for the freshly baked lambs, but mostly for the best Brettljause*. In fact, he’s probably called his mother two weeks before his visit to let her know what kind of meat and sausages to get for him and you as well so that there shall be plenty to go around. If you’re not from around, then you likely don’t know what a ��Gsöchts”* or “Schweinsbratn”* is, but he will assure you that it’s something delicious. König could rave on and on about that one farmer’s “Hauswiaschtl”. In fact, if he can, he’d love to go to the farmer’s market on Friday with you just so he can get you something to eat. Not above grabbing some Bauernbrot* and Krenn* either while he’s at it. Mans needs his Krenn when eating his Osterjause. Although it will have been a while since he’s seen everyone, he will introduce you to all the farmers there since he knows a good chunk of them growing up.
Naturally, he’ll be drinking a few beers here and there as well. He’s Austrian, it’s in his blood. Will have you try everything off the plate, from the Nuss* to the low-fat Karree*. Loves having you with him and will actively try to involve you in any conversation there may be so that you get to talk as well. Again, it might be a bit awkward if you don’t know any German, especially since he’s not the most reliable translator, but you’ll get by somehow. His parents have been curious about you for a while now anyway and have been wanting to meet you.
Although he claims to be far too old for that sort of thing, he wouldn’t mind looking for an “Osterkerberl”* with you. It’s a nice tradition that he used to love as a child and he wants you to experience Austrian Easter with him, so he likely asked his mother to hide one for you somewhere around the yard so you can go find it. She won’t give you any clues as to where it could be found. It’s childish, but it’s a lot of fun. In fact, if König were to ask her to prepare a Kerberl* for you, then chances are she prepared one for him as well, for old time’s sake. And then the both of you, two fully grown adults, will run around the yard, looking for the basket. Once you found it, you had to admit it was rather cute, filled with a few hand painted eggs, some colorful chocolate, a baked lamb and some crafted chicks and bunnies. Clearly, his mother put in a lot of thought into what goes into such a small basket. In fact, even the “grass” was made of edible paper, it seemed.
König would feel somewhat stupid, looking for a basket of all things during Easter, but it did remind him of his childhood, so he wouldn’t outwardly complain. Besides, you walking up to him, all happy with your little basket, does something to him. The sight was just too adorable, so he’d likely ask you, the master sleuth, to assist him in his hunt. Once you’ve both found them, you’d return back to his parents’ apartment and continue just chatting while occasionally eating a bit of the Jause*.
_________________________
Osterjause - Food that’s been prepared for Easter. It usually consists of meat, sausage, cheese, tomatoes and horseradish.
Brettljause - Same as Osterjause except it can be eaten at any point during the year.
Gsöchts - Geselchtes - Salted and smoked meat.
Schweinsbratn - Schweinebraten - Specifically prepared roast pork, eaten cold in this context.
Hauswiaschtl - Hauswürstel - A hard sausage.
Bauernbrot - A special type of bread.
Krenn - Horseradish.
Nuss, Karree - Types of meat
Osterkerberl - Osterkörbchen - Easter basket, a basket filled with easter themed food. Sometimes has a gift in it as well, mostly for children.
Kerberl - Körbchen - A basket
Jause - In this context it refers to the Osterjause.
48 notes
·
View notes
me when im supposed to be studying but instead im thinking abt mori and dazai again
let me go absolutely insane for a second (not a second. this is so long. i just checked mfer its over 2000 words. i need to be sedated. imprisoned. restrained. examined. smthn)
'a young man with a death wish once came to me and i wanted to rescue him but i couldnt' and like yeah. beast mori couldnt rescue him. but to a certain extent, canon mori sort of has (touch wood for long term but as it is, dazai is so much less intent on dying than he was in dark era).
and it just. i always wonder about the actual intentions of the mimic situation. because on the surface, it looks like what dazai calls it, then deeper than that, it looks like a very calculated long term strategy, and deeper than that, its just. kinda sad.
i just think its interesting that he plans the mimic thing the way he does knowing dazai will leave despite the fact that he doesnt want him to. and dazai himself reasons this as mori being afraid of him, that mori doesnt want dazai to kill him the way mori killed the old boss. but thats? not true? mori seems unbothered at worst and downright proud at best when he tells oda that dazai will probably kill him one day.
so. Why. did he do it knowing dazai would leave? it wasnt his only option; he could have set skk on mimic. like 5 second future vision isnt gonna do much when the danger is alr there (as oda says). and in the face of a massive black hole coming right at u or a building being dropped on you, five seconds really isnt gonna do much. so mimic cld have been removed without a casualty and the mafia could still have got the permit, and not lost dazai. (who is Objectively an asset to the organisation.) But thats not how it happens. Mori plans it exactly as he does knowing oda will die and dazai will leave. he also then makes it continually obvious that dazai would be welcomed back.
and ive been trying to think of other reasons for it, but across canon and insight from beast mori the only thing i can think of comes back to the fact that mori wants dazai alive. alive and aware that the pm is the best place for him, but alive more than anything else.
i think he wants dazai as his heir bc he knows dazai is enough like him to manage it, but i wonder if it also comes back to the fact that mori is trying to rescue him, and i imagine his own reason to live (and lord knows he suggests he needs a strong one in fifteen) is probably tied down to legacy and responsibility for the city. mori devotes his life to the mafia because he wants peace and appreciates that control (rather than eradication) of the worst of yokohama is the way to keep that peace. and thats enough of a reason to live for him. but it isnt for dazai.
dazai doesnt give a fuck about the mafia as a concept bc his motivations dont rest on ideals the way moris do. dazai only ever does anything because of the people he cares about. everything we see him do, EVEN in pm era where people claim he was some emotionless rockman, come back to his friends.
its why hes never at the centre of the plot. he cant be, because he never does anything for himself. fifteen, in which he is a titular character, is a plot that rests vastly on chuuyas back story. dazais original motivation prior to meeting him is just to khs, and only upon meeting chuuya and them having their whole weird Thing and dazai deciding to be an obsessive freak, does he actually have personal stakes in the job. then in stormbringer, its all abt chuuya again, and dazai is only involved bc he cares about him (whatever he actually says aside). tdipud is driven by odas storyline, and so is dark era. dazai is only active in them bc he cares abt oda.
even when he has more idealistic motivations come canon era, they come back to the fact that hes doing it for oda. anything Above And Beyond that promise is bc hes acting to save the agency, who are his Friends. his motivations are deeply personal in complete contrast to moris, and it is perhaps the only place they really differ.
now ironically, it seems to be that the only decisions mori makes influenced by personal feelings are because of dazai. which takes me to the fact that i think he let dazai leave because he recognises thats whats best for him (at least in the short term - and we'll get to That in a second). and its not really a loss for the organisation because dazais too practical to ever dismiss the mafia, and he still gut responds with their methods. so its an easy sacrifice, a justifiable one.
then theres the contrast with the kouyou&kyouka thing. kouyou doesnt want kyouka to taste the light only to have it sour on her tongue when she realises she cant actually have it because of what she is. because kouyou believes anyone tainted by darkness the way they are can never be free of it. (because she couldnt get out herself).
i wouldnt be surprised if mori thinks the same way, certainly in regards to someone like dazai who Is naturally built for the mafia in a way kyouka really isnt. mori at least believes dazais blood is mafia black and whether or not this is true is irrelevant. he Does have to actively fight his impulses in order to do the Right Thing even now. And even doing that, he still falls into their methods when its practical, or when he's paranoid or unsettled enough to need the comfort of habit, hence the way he treats aku even four years removed from the mafia. hence the way he treats atsushi immediately after Q appears (the way he so instantly latches onto his older self literally slapping the self pity he detests in himself and in his former kouhai out of his current one). hence the way the parallels to mori spring up most when dazai has just been shaken by something.
so i wonder if mori let dazai walk into the light knowing (or believing) he wouldnt fit there, and would come back with a stronger commitment to the mafia as a whole because it may be a concept of sorts, but its one that embraces him in a way the light doesnt, and while dazai does things for the people He cares about, its a mutual thing - he feels responsibility for the people that care about Him too (which probably ties in to the desire for a quiet suicide without bothering anyone, and also to the disgust he has w the sheep - because it Isnt a mutual exchange there).
i think it was always intended as a temporary thing (five years away from the mafia maybe. the 'five years' right before dazai comes to take moris place). give him a taste of the light and let him come to his own conclusion that he doesnt belong there, and eventually turn back to the mafia where he does belong.
(despite suggestions that dazai Doesnt really belong there - smthn smthn cat/dog symbolism - though people suggest this implies he belongs w the ada and i dont think thats true either esp given the way hes omitted from the group so often. i think the cat symbolism w dazai likens him more to natsume than atsushi&fukuzawa esp given the way theyre shown tgthr so often. dazai doesnt belong to any organisation or rigid group, he just fits in line w whoever he cares abt and wherever he decides hes content to stay. v much like a cat actually.).
anyway, moris idea seems to be that dazai wld realise the mafia is somewhere he is cared for, and he cares for the people within it in return. though it doesnt seem to have really turned out that way (maybe mori j underestimated the power of the ada's one specialty: forced integration into its found family. lmao)
so you could see it from a practical perspective: mori sending dazai out to show him he really belongs w the mafia and shld come back to them when the time is right, thus mori secures his legacy by leaving the pm to dazai and the mafia is led forward by someone who could handle it the way mori has.
but. hes never pushy abt dazai coming back. hes downright polite abt it (contrasting to the way he treats yosano), and he puts an awful lot of effort into saving dazais life. (kinda funny that he sends chuuya to pick dazais ass up every five seconds with no reward for either of them - chuuya post dead apple literally asks and moris just like ? uh the safety of the city?? bragging rights😁👍? - but when he sends chuuya to save the agency as a whole the price is Heavy like. exchange of a member is crazyyy.)
dazai is always very much considered One Of Their Own. his seat is still empty waiting for him to come back, he and mori post guild are Always cooperating (despite the kinda petty way dazai talks to him during the reunion - the whole 'i burnt the coat' thing - its almost childish, spiteful in a way that speaks to personal hurt that undermines any control he might have had of their kind of distant passive aggressive exchange. but. im too insane abt that interaction that my interpretation cld be entirely bs.)
they communicate through this ridiculous game of chess, and rely on each other to keep both their organisations afloat. when anyone else from the ada tries to pull the same thing, mori pulls out contracts for their damn souls but when its dazai hes just like ? oh ur bf needs to save you again? of course i can spare him to go pick you up from european prison yeah not a problem! ill even glue his vampire cosplay teeth in!!
in connection with that, even with dazais commitment to Doing The Right Thing, he does not do it in the right way. hes perfectly content to use mori-typical underhanded methods to get the ada to the right place. he sends aku To His Death Knowingly for the sake of saving atsushi and by extension the rest of the agency (and he may have known that the vampirism wld sorta bring him back?? but he still sends him to die), and its sorta similar to mori sending aku out to deal with hawthorne and mitchell while hes in rlly bad shape.
anyway dazais methods always make me think of that cunty exchange sskk have in dead apple 'thats not the way we do things in the detective agency' 'was that a bad joke😘 ur too much weretiger🌈✨💖'. but like. dazai Doesnt work the way the ada does. at least not when things get tense enough to drive him back to habit.
i think people like to interpret dazai as being a better person now, and i think in some ways he is. because hes always influenced by the people hes around most. but also, his motivations havent really changed from pm era. he still does what he does for his friends, they just happen to be on the right side now.
anyway. mori puts more work into keeping dazai alive than any other character (bar perhaps chuuya - but thats because mori saving dazai runs hand in hand with chuuya doing it given hes the one sending him) which is. aurgh.
mori and the wish to save people is just interesting in general. the fact that he became a doctor in the first place is telling on its own plus the unhinged way he deals with yosano - of course someone obsessed with saving people would want a cheat card for sending Death packing - but maybe i could believe it was just a power thing, more to his sense of control. playing with life and death so that he can play god. and i think that probably is just a little bit part of it, esp during the war.
but theres also the way he treats doctors within the pm (sb calls it respect for his former position but it may also be knowledge that the better treated they are the more people they will save). And the only reason he works w the tripartite agreement is bc he loves yokohama, wants its people, including its underground, alive and all that (honestly it probably links back to war stuff - hes really intent on peace).
so hes already someone that is intent on saving people (and beast mori makes this obvious w the way he treats atsushi) but theres a personal edge to it w dazai, possibly bc dazai is so much like him, and asgr is kind of obsessed w the saving your mirrors bc you cldnt save yourself thing (atsushi. lucy. chuuya with his clone. beast akutagawa siblings. beast atsushi&kyouka. i could continue).
im frothing at the mouth but basically, mori does everything for practical reasons in line with his ideals, his grand vision for the PM, but that doesnt mean he isnt making any emotionally charged decisions. its just that theyre always justified by their practical outcomes. (Especially where dazai is concerned). so he can pretend that theyre not driven by personal feelings but IM WATCHING U MORI U CANT HIDE FROM ME.
yk i sometimes wonder if i see him too sympathetically for a guy thats as so sucks as he is but someone has to counterbalance the 75% of the fandom that thinks hes pure evil for no reason and has no thoughts outside of Being Terrible so. here you go have this from the depths of my brain.
25 notes
·
View notes