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#But it’s pretty weird even for [place that I live in]
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I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.
I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.
And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.
It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.
I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.
Thanks for doing what you do here.
Kind regards,
Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess
hi anon,
I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.
first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.
having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.
herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!
I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.
personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?
youtube
youtube
or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?
or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?
you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.
you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.
please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.
take care 💜
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permanentswaps · 2 days
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Grindr Swap With A Twink
Read Part 1 from @ghostinthedude here.
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Lets just say that college was a LOT of fun. Sure, on the outside I looked like an immature pretty boy with nothing going through his head. But on the inside, I was a self-possessed adult, who knew exactly what he wanted.
From them moment I set foot on campus, I was inundated with attention from upperclassmen guys – and even some of the younger professors – who were eager to get to get me into their beds. I won’t go too much into the details, but I definitely got around that year.
Eventually, I hit my growth spurt. Better late than never I guess. And over the course of sophomore year I had packed on about 20 lbs of muscle, grew a solid 6 inches, and got a haircut. By junior year, I was no longer a slutty bottom twink being plowed by every closeted senior on the football team, I was a sexy vers twunk making my way through the swim roster.  
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All the while, I was acing all my classes, leading me to graduate Summa Cum Laude and get a job in investment banking for next year. I knew its going to be a hard path, but it made my parents so proud and it will set me up financially for the rest of my career. This week, I just moved into a brand new apartment by myself in Boston’s Back Bay. I’m due to start work in a few weeks, but I wanted to get settled in, explore the city, make some friends, and maybe even build up a roster (I’m not gonna have a ton of time to meet guys once work starts up).
---
That’s why tonight, I found myself scrolling through Grindr. Here's my profile pics btw:
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There’s quite a selection to choose from. Hmmm, the international guys from Harvard seem kinda hot, but I bet they’re super full of themselves. What about a true Boston native, there’s something weirdly sexy about their accents.
I kept scrolling until one guy caught my eye, making my stomach flip. It was my old body, he had tapped my profile. That's weird, I thought he would still be in Cincinnati. But anyway, his profile is kinda super hot:
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"Hey, what's up," I messaged.
"Hey cutie, how's it going?" he replied.
"Alright alright, just moved to town, looking for some fun," I joked, trying to keep the conversation light.
"Hahaha, I love some fun," he replied, his enthusiasm evident even through text. "Top or bttm?"
"Vers ;)" I replied.
"I can work with that," he replied eagerly. "So, what's your name?"
I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. "You really don't know?"
"No, why would I, cutie?" he responded.
"I just figured you'd remember your own face after all these years," I teased, adding, "Although I guess it's not your face anymore."
"OMG.”
I quickly sent him my location, to which he responded almost immediately, “Be there in 20.”
---
"Shit," he said as he walked through the door, looking around wide eyed. "This place is super nice."
"Yeah, I mean, it's not totally furnished yet, but it's pretty nice," I replied, trying to downplay it a bit.
"How did you afford it? I know my parents don’t exactly have deep pockets," he asked, genuine curiosity in his tone.
"Yeah, actually," I began, feeling a pang of sympathy for my former self, "I got such good grades freshman year that I actually got a scholarship for the rest of college. And now..."
My old body's expression shifted, a hint of sadness creeping in.
“And now, I’ll be making 110k starting with no loans. So yeah mom and dad didn’t really need to give me anything.” I said, feeling a bit odd that he still referred to them as his parents. “And how about you," I asked, trying to keep the conversation going. "Where are you living these days?"
"Oh, I have a shared flat in Dorchester," he replied. "It's nothing special, but it's all I can afford on a bartender's salary."
"You moved all the way out here for a bartending gig?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said with a shrug. "I didn't really have a choice. I got fired from my last job for showing up late too many times and kinda got blacklisted from all the good bars in Cincinnati. But a buddy who had moved out here set me up with a new gig. It's okay, I guess."
"But anyway," he said, changing the subject, "look at you, you've done really well for yourself."
I couldn't help but smirk as I ran my hand down my toned abs. He wasn't wrong.
"And you," I said, diverting the attention away from myself, "you must still be pulling in all the hot twinks with that bod."
"Hahaha, yeah," he replied, his confidence shining through. "Although none of them are as sexy as you are."
His compliment caught me off guard, but I couldn't help but be drawn in as he pulled me in for a kiss. The chemistry between us was undeniable as we quickly made our way to the bedroom, shedding our clothes with eager anticipation.
He climbed on top of me, his lips finding their way to my eager member. I couldn't help but marvel at how he still remembered all the right moves. Within minutes, he had me on the edge, his skilled hands finding their way to my sensitive nipples, pushing me to climax.
With a satisfied grin, he eagerly swallowed every last drop of my load. Luckily for him, I had a rapid recharge time, and I was ready to go for round two within minutes.
As he whipped out his beer can thick cock, memories flooded back. I remembered that thing—it was definitely fun to top twinks, or twunks like myself, back in the day.
In doggy, he hugged my body tightly, in a way that felt almost nostalgic. It was almost like he was reminiscing about living in this body, even though it didn’t look anything like this when he last had it.
Then, with surprising finesse, he flipped me over into missionary, his eyes locking with mine as our bodies moved in sync.
In a half-whisper, he asked me a question that caught me off guard: "Can we swap back?"
Just then, it dawned on me. To swap back, we both needed to swallow each other’s cum. Panic surged through me. He had already swallowed mine. Shit.
Still thrusting into me, he paused, his eyes searching mine with a mix of desperation and longing. "No, you don’t understand," he pleaded. "This could’ve been my life."
Struggling to fight him through the ecstasy I was feeling from his cock plunging into me, I shook my head. "No, it wouldn’t be," I gasped out between breaths. "You'd never work hard enough for this."
I looked up and saw a look come across his face that I’d know anywhere. He was about to cum. I couldn't let him pull out and risk the chance of him trying to shoot his load all over my face.
Quickly, I pushed him backwards and positioned myself on top of him, impaling myself on his throbbing cock in cowboy. He looked up at me, a mixture of bliss and regret evident in his expression as his load erupted.
Relieved but seething with anger, I stepped off the bed and quickly grabbed his pants, tossing them at him with a firm command. "Get out," I said, my voice carrying an edge of finality. "And don't contact me again."
He silently complied, skulking towards the door where he saw himself out. Locking it behind him, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
Returning to the bedroom mirror, I faced my reflection with a newfound clarity. Taking a good, hard look at myself, I uttered the words that had been swirling in my mind.
"I am Devin Connors," I declared, the weight of the statement settling over me. "And I deserve everything that I’ve worked for."
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Really happy with how this one turned out. Let me know if you have any suggestions for which story I should finish next.
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tarisbackyard · 7 hours
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Here's how to write an authentic Grimm style fairytale, brought to you by a Certified German TM:
Forget everything Disney movies taught you, besides maybe Snowwhite, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. But even those are on thin fucking ice. Also ignore modern fantasy literature conventions, especially Dungeons & Dragons type stuff.
Ideally only the protagonist or none of the characters ought to have names. And the names should either be really fucking ordinary, or some kind of epithet. Like, either that's a Franz or a Bramblesock, cause when Bramblesock was a child he lost a sock in a shrub of brambles. Everyone else is either the king, the grandma, or the carpenter.
The common types of protagonist: Regular working class guy who cons his way into a life of riches, poor downtrodden peasant who through hardworking kindness is granted salvation (usually via gaining riches), too pure too good for this world princess who can't catch a fucking break, too nasty too bratty for this world princess who gets taught a lesson in humility.
The characters are generally very one note and the only kind of character growth they can experience boils down to "maybe I shouldn't have been a dick, huh?"
The location is either as vague as possible or super fucking specific for no reason; either the story takes place literally nowhere or in the town of Buxtehude.
Animals and inanimate objects that can talk for no apparent reason and no one bats an eye at are always a great addition.
If you want to add any fantasy races, use giants (large, dumb brutes), dwarves (angry little guys who live in the wilderness and get really angry if you touch their beards), or gnomes (mischievous house spirits who might be helpful but watch out!), but never more than one of these. Fairies are rare and usually the "tall beautiful wise woman" type, not the small annoying pixie type. Dragons are very pointedly no-where to be found, those distinctly belong in sagas, which are their own distinct type of literature.
Weird moral of the story that either boils down to "be smarter than all the other fuckers", "good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people", or "don't upset the supernatural".
Random tidbits of gore that no one bats an eye at.
Witches eat children, if a mother gets more than single line dedicated to her she's evil, fathers are spineless and/or assholes who either die or come around in the end.
Ugly means evil, pretty means good. Except when it doesn't.
Optional: Repeated rhyming phrases and numbers. Seventh son of a seventh son kinda stuff. The numbers 3, 7, 12, and 13 in particular.
Ideally a 19th century scholar should be able to read some clumsy Germanic pagan wishful thinking into the story, no matter how big and obvious the Christian overtones are.
Optional: Start the story with "Once upon a time" and end it with "And if they didn't die, then they are still alive today."
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may I request a really really really smart villain. but somehow the hero manages to outsmart them, and even though villain is completely dumbfounded, they find it incredibly hot???
gl, if you wish, but im fine with anything !!
“You’re scared,” the villain whispered. “I know what that feels like. I know what it can do to a person.”
Their fingertips traced the hero’s clavicle gently, as if they attempted to calm a startled deer by stoking it.
“It’s not a pleasant emotion. It certainly isn’t one anyone should be used to. So I’m curious, do you need my help?” the villain said. Their eyes scanned the hero curiously. Almost as if they could absorb everything about them just by looking at them.
Something about the hero seemed to pull them in, something seemed to fascinate them on a grand scale and the hero couldn’t tell if they loved the challenge or the attention.
“Would you mind?” the hero asked. They nodded towards the villain’s fingers on their body and clearly, the villain received their message. They pulled away and smiled. Curiosity seemed to be their big weakness.
“I apologise, of course. I’m fond of pretty things.”
“As every crow is.”
“That’s a compliment.” The hero didn’t answer. They knew the villain was toying with them; they were fully aware of their sweet words and their kind smile.
The villain wasn’t easy to understand and that was a big problem in this whole mess. Incompetent people proposed a threat to the city because of their lack of intelligence. They weren’t easy to understand, they were unpredictable.
Usually, the hero could argue with smart people, could get into their minds and understand their motives but the villain was a complete minefield. Their unpredictability came from several unrelated plans that intertwined and altogether made up a whole picture.
They were ten steps ahead. Always.
Suddenly, a missing professor, a burning bakery, a sick child and a stolen book were parts of a chain that would make sense to the hero much, much later. Ordinary things could play huge parts in these reaction chains, something they liked to call “controlled butterfly effect”. It made the hero think of all the details, all the little crimes in the city. It made them overanalyse every little conversation they had with the villain.
Was the villain giving them clues?
Was there a way to decipher these riddles?
How could anyone be at ten different places at the same time?
How was it possible to get information you’d have to torture out of people without actually talking to anyone at all?
“I’ll have to change my address for the third time this month,” the hero said. “You should apologise for that as well.”
“It’s not my fault you make it so easy for me.” The villain looked around the hero’s living room and in some weird and strange way, the hero felt superior to them, now that everything was done. It would’ve been foolish to say they were relieved. In fact, the villain was right. They were terrified. “New choice of plants, I see. You like orchids?”
“Why exactly are you here?” the hero asked. They assumed the villain knew about yesterday. They also assumed the villain was here to talk about that. “So you can make fun of me? Humiliate me in my own home?”
“Without an audience? Please, I thought you knew me.” The villain’s eyes found the hero’s again after what they deemed to be enough observation.
“You like it more intimate. You like it when it’s just us.” Now, the villain looked intrigued.
“Touché,” they said, almost as if the hero had defeated them with a single word. The hero wished it had been that easy.
“Again. Why are you here?” The hero crossed their arms in front of their chest. It was getting quite chilly in just a shirt and underwear.
In response, the villain took in a deep breath and sat down on the hero’s couch. They lounged.
“When Hannibal crossed the Alps, do you think he was scared? I mean, all that responsibility on his shoulders? It was dangerous, he could’ve lost his entire army.”
“Is this supposed to be some metaphor for me being Hannibal and you being…what? The Roman Republic?” the hero asked. Sometimes, it was laughable where the villain’s mind went. It was hard enough to keep up with them already but the amount of knowledge the hero acquired from talking to them alone was insane.
It was the type of learning experience that required failing repeatedly to get to the answer. The hero didn’t enjoy it.
But the villain only chuckled.
“I was trying to say that being determined and scared can coexist. You did something that demands great courage.” They tilted their head. “And yet, it is a very scary thing.”
With slow steps, the hero approached them until they were close enough. They sat down on the villain’s lap. Unsurprisingly, their nemesis didn’t protest.
They weren’t proud of what had happened, they weren’t proud of what they’d done.
“How can a person obtain information no one dares to whisper?” the hero asked. “How can that person receive it within seconds?”
“You tell me,” the villain said. An invitation. It would’ve been illogical to decline.
“You had two helpers. Someone who can teleport. Someone who can turn invisible. I don’t know how you convinced them but they were heroes once.”
The villain nodded.
“The Romans had to learn the hard way how important spies are. They learnt it from the Carthaginian. Like I learnt from you years ago,” the villain said. It was difficult to imagine that all this was the hero’s fault. “Now, tell me what you did when you found out.”
The hero was quiet until the villain’s palm brushed their thigh softly. The villain seemed unfittingly euphoric.
“I knew they wouldn’t be easy to keep in a cell.”
“So?”
“So I killed them.” The villain nodded.
“You killed them,” the villain agreed. “Did you know crows wait for other predators to tear open their prey?”
The hero waited. The villain wasn’t angry. They were fascinated. It hadn’t even occurred to the hero that this was the solution up until yesterday.
And still, even though this was a major success when it came to stopping the villain, it wasn’t satisfactory. Killing two of their own people hadn’t been pretty.
“Did you know curiosity killed the cat?” the hero asked back. Behind their back, they clenched their fist to stop their hand from shaking.
Within seconds, several red laser dots pointed at the villain. With the hero on their lap, pressing them into the couch, there wasn’t anywhere to go. The sharpshooters wouldn’t let the villain move a muscle.
And behind the shocked expression, the hero saw something they weren’t sure if they loathed or liked: a certain admiration for only them.
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seiya-starsniper · 1 day
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Six Degrees of Separation
Rating: Teen || Chapters: 1/4 || Word Count 1.4k
Summary:
The Dead Boy Detectives run into a familiar pub while out on a case, and Crystal has to contend with an unfortunate event from her past.
Hob Gadling wasn't planning on adopting three teenagers and a full grown woman, but stranger things have happened in his long centuries of life.
Read here on Tumblr, or over on AO3
dedicated to @softest-punk for making me emotional about Hob adopting the kids in DBD 💖
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“In here!” Edwin shouts, gesturing frantically at the entrance to a pub that looks vaguely familiar to Crystal. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have much time to wonder before the banshee chasing them lets out a blood curdling scream. Crystal rushes in with Charles right behind her, pushing the door and slamming it shut behind her. Thankfully the pub seems to be completely empty except for one man. 
A man who looked extremely pissed off to see them.
“Oh bloody hell, fuck no, not you, out!” the older man shouts, moving out from behind the bar and looking ready to chase them out by force if necessary. Crystal braces herself, glancing around frantically for some sort of back door that she can bolt to if necessary. She’s pretty sure she can outrun him.
Charles and Edwin however, are a different story.
“Hob, it’s us!” Charles exclaims, throwing up his hands in an attempt to show no harm.
“We’re sorry for bringing a ghost to your door, Mr Gadling,” Edwin adds. “If you’ll just let me borrow one of your books to get rid of this banshee, we’ll be out of your hair.” 
“Not you two, her,” the man, Hob (what the hell kind of name was that?) growls, pointing at Crystal accusingly. Edwin and Charles turn to her in shock, and Crystal is about to protest that she has no idea what this man is on about, but then the memory of how she knows Hob Gadling comes flooding back to her.
The pub they’d run into was The New Inn and Crystal had almost burned it down last year because some girl she hated at school had come here for her 18th birthday. With all of Crystal’s friends, sans Crystal. Ex-friends now, since Crystal had tried to burn the place down with the whole party still inside. Hob had, unsurprisingly, pressed charges, and it took a lot of money from her parents to make everything go away.
“I’m sorry!” Crystal yells, just as the banshee screeches and slams its body against the door behind them. It lights up an iridescent blue, a warding against ghosts. Of course Crystal had to go and fuck up the one supernatural relationship she had because she was an idiot asshole last year. 
“I know this isn’t a great time, but I’m kind of a different person now?” Crystal says, having no idea how to even begin to explain the weird circumstances of the last month. “I swear what my past self did isn't who I am now,” she adds, also raising her hands to show she means no harm. 
“She’s part of the Dead Boy Detectives Agency, mate,” Charles interjects, while Edwin nods furiously in agreement. “Please don’t throw her out!”
The banshee lets out another screech and slams itself against the door, rattling the frame so hard that Crystal’s afraid it might fly off the hinges at any moment. Whatever ward Hob had placed, it wasn’t going to hold out for that much longer.
“What the hell is going on?!” a familiar voice cries out, and then Jenny Green of all people is coming out of what Crystal assumes is the kitchen. She’s also brandishing a butcher knife, because why would any of that change now that she lives across the pond?
“Jenny?!” Charles and Edwin yell.
“Oh fuck,” the older woman curses, glancing back and forth between the three of them and Hob. Crystal really hopes they haven’t just gotten Jenny fired. Finding a job had been tough enough for her when they'd relocated, and she had refused any help financially from Crystal.
“You know them?!” Hob asks, shock clear in his voice.
“It’s a long story,” Jenny grumbles, then screams when the banshee throws itself against the door again. “What the fuck, why did you lead a ghost here? ”
The door rattles and creaks, and the ward around the pub shimmers and vibrates angrily, which seems to finally prompt Hob to action. He straightens his back, rubs a hand over his face, and then takes one, two, three deep breaths before he looks them all over appraisingly. 
“Jenny, get the salt from the back,” Hob orders, gesturing her back to the kitchen. “The iron knives should be on the shelf next to them. Edwin, you know where the tomes are,” he adds pointing upwards, likely towards a room on the second floor of the pub. Jenny and Edwin nod quietly before disappearing to their designated posts, leaving Crystal and Charles alone with Hob.
“Right, so since when have the Dead Boys gotten themselves involved with trust fund brats?” Hob asks, still eyeing Crystal warily as if he expects her to pull out a lighter at any moment. 
“Since this trust fund brat got possessed by a demon and got her memories stolen,” Crystal answers, wincing when she realizes how harsh that sounds. “Sorry. I just recently got them back and it's been a weird time. I really am sorry though. For like, nearly burning this place to the ground cause I was mad.”
“You did what? ” Charles cries out, his mouth agape. “Please tell me that was all David’s doing.”
Crystal scrunches up her face and then shakes her head. “I wish it was, but no. Just plain old shitty Crystal,” she answers truthfully.
Hob looks between the two of them, then sighs, his expression softening. 
“Look, clearly you’ve done some soul searching and I am the last person who should be allowed to hold a grudge against someone who’s done some bad things,” he says, then gestures to Charles. “If the boys vouch for you, then I’m willing to bury the hatchet. All right, Ms Von-Hovercraft?”
“Please just call me Crystal,” Crystal pleads. She really hated being referred to by her surname. It still felt weird and foreign to her, after everything she had gone through. Hob huffs, and this time when he looks at her, there isn’t a shred of contempt in his expression.
“Yeah okay. Crystal,” he says warmly. “You can call me Hob.”
Crystal wants to ask where the hell the name Hob comes from, because she’s pretty sure she remembers his name being Richard , but before she can say anything, Edwin and Jenny come back and Hob turns his full attention to taking care of the banshee that’s trying to get past the wards he has around the entire pub. 
“You’re lucky Tuesday’s a slow night,” Hob says, before he starts flipping through the tome. “Jenny, Crystal, make a salt circle by the tables over there,” he adds, pointing to his left. “You’re going to need to lead her there so we can trap her.”
Crystal and Jenny make as large of a circle as they can, pouring generous amounts of salt into the floor. When they’re done, Hob instructs them to the front of the pub, where the door is still rattling and glowing angrily. Edwin and Charles are standing next to Hob, Charles with his cricket bat out, and Edwin and Hob ready to chant the spell within the tome. 
“When I count to three, open the door and run like hell into the salt circle,” Hob tells them. “One, two, THREE!”
Crystal throws open the door and both she and Jenny cover their ears as they run towards the salt circle. The banshee’s cries are even louder now that she’s inside the pub, but their plan works. She follows them straight into the circle, then screeches again in anger once she realizes she cannot follow them out. Her long hands try to grab for Jenny’s apron, but Charles materializes right at the circle’s edge to bat her hand away. 
Hob and Edwin start chanting some spell in what Crystal assumes is Latin, and the banshee screeches at an even louder volume than before. The salt circle alights a bright gold, and Crystal and Jenny are practically thrown backwards by the force of the magic taking effect.
The banshee lets out one more high pitched scream, and then her dark grey dress suddenly becomes stark white, dark and wet black hair paling slowly to a soft light brown. When the banshee lifts her face, her eyes are no longer sunken and black, but wide and bright green. 
She’s beautiful, now that she’s no longer in pain.
The Night Nurse shows up shortly afterwards, collecting the woman and gently reassuring her that she’s going to a better place. She looks at Hob like she’s offended by his very existence, which the man takes in stride and cheerfully waves her off, telling her to say hello to her boss for him. 
“Right then,” Hob says after the banshee and the Night Nurse have left. “Now that that’s taken care of, care to explain to me what the bloody hell is the connection with you lot?”
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bengiyo · 2 days
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At 25:00 in Akasaka Ep 4 Stray Thoughts
Last week, Shirasaki struggled to build the emotions for his character in the love confession. He begged for another opportunity, so the crew agreed to try again the next day. Hayama went over to Shirasaki's place unannounced, cooked, flirted, and cuddled this man so gently to get him to talk about things he likes. This built to an excellent moment where Shirasaki built the feelings he needed for the character at the same time as his burgeoning realization that he likes Hayama.
I am excited to spend time with Shirasaki sorting his feelings. It's totally normal to get complicated feelings for your costar when you have to believably perform attraction to a version of them.
That braised pork looks so good.
GOOD NEWS, FELLAS: WE ARE USING THE BIG TV!
I so appreciate that Hayama knows that Shirasaki needs specific positive feedback on his performances.
This kitchen is reminding me of Kohinata and Wataru's place. Pretty sure it's the same place.
This dough scene is very sensual.
Welcome back, Baby is a Messy Eater. Love the show quickly flashing back to the kiss with a heartbeat backing it to make sure we get what that has always implied. Bonus points for there still being sauce on his face after.
Yes, show me the audience loving Shirasaki's performance before that snake supporting actor comes back to start negging again.
I think this is Hayama's manager? I'm glad someone told Shirasaki before that other dude.
Aww his manager is getting emotional. I wonder if he felt like he believed in Shirasaki but wasn't sure how to make others see that.
Baby boy can't enjoy his regular restaurant anymore without getting too much fan attention, and now he's getting weird messages. Let my boy live!
The actors playing the interviewers are doing a great job. Shirasaki has a standoffish nature that's hard to break through.
I'm glad we're doing this story in an industry that is still making the show while it's on air. I am excited to see how the reception affects the filming process.
Oh nooo. The curry doesn't taste right, and the blow dryer feels wrong. They led into this by mentioning loneliness and then delivered. Good job, BL.
They even muted the colors on screen to double down on it!
Oh, I like this hug.
I love this show for immediately complicating this scenario with an interloper right as Shirasaki was about to fall into his own spiral. I'm so excited to see how Hayama reacts to this.
This show is really feeling stronger to me as it goes on. We made comparisons to I Became the Main Role in a BL Drama for obvious reasons, but the shows are really distinct for me at this point and I really love the work being done here. I'm really impressed.
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killsatoru · 13 hours
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Part Two : Mistakes With Rings: Gojo Satoru
Pairing : Gojo Satoru x fem! reader
Warning(s) : Cursing, Death, reader is a Itadori
Summary : Thrown into a loveless marriage, but what happens when your husband asks you for an open marriage?
Part One
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Our honeymoon. Was empty. only a small smile was exchanged through the whole trip. no hand holding, no hugging, no kissing.
Nothing.
Absolutely Nothing.
-
Back home the arrangements were set to live together.
Was it so weird for a married couple to live apart?
“We can have separate rooms.”
“Ok.” What else was I supposed to say?
Isn’t sleeping in separate rooms also weird?
In a cold empty room. Which was once a guest room. Now, it was called my room.
Sigh
The maids whisper among themselves.
“Poor Mrs. Gojo!”
“How can Mr. Gojo be so cruel!”
“I heard they were arranged.”
“I heard Mr. Gojo might have a mistress already!”
“Poor Mrs. Gojo…”
-
“Y/N!” My older brothers call out
“Jin. Sukuna. It’s nice to see you two.”
“What’s with the long face? Is it that asshole!? I swear I'll ruin that pretty face of his!” A stern look comes across my brother’s face
laughing
“No! No it’s not him I just miss you guys! How is Yuji by the way, Jin? changing the subject is for the best
“He’s amazing! Wanna see some pictures!” pulling out his phone to show pictures
“That brat! He has too much energy! I say we put him in a sport!” A proud smirk on his face
“Maybe putting him in basketball! or even Baseball!” I suggest excitedly.
-
“Bye Y/N! Take care, say hi to Satoru for me!”
“Tell him he better be treating you right!”
“I will, bye you two take care!”
To think that would be the last time all three of us would ever be together.
-
While taking a walk around the large garden. My phone goes off.
Ring Ring Ring
A hospital?
‘Strange, why would a hospital call me?’
“Hello?”
“Yes, This is Y/N Itadori.”
The world Spinning. The urge to puke was strong. The tears slipped out. My breathing out of control.
“I’ll be there shortly” sprinting inside passing by the maids in the kitchen and living.
There Gojo Satoru stood blocking my exit.
“Hey Y/N-“
Running past him.
Ignoring Gojo. Running to my car. was I even in the right headspace to drive. It doesn’t matter. I need to be there.
-
Sprinting to the counter
“I am here to see Jin Itadori. He’s my brother.”
-
“Y/N.” placing his head between his hands.
“Father. how is he.” Fear laced in my voice
“Y/N. I am so sorry. I am so sorry” Trembling.
In the years I have been alive, my father had never cried in front of me.
In the years I have been alive I would've never thought this day would come. Especially not like this.
“Jin is dead”
-
To think I would be burying my brother this early.
My nephew Yuji Itadori is still too young. why? Jin, why?
“Y/N. Let’s go.” My brother Sukuna pulled me away and took me to a house that wasn’t my home. to a man that wasn’t mine.
-
“You should eat Mrs. Gojo.” all the maids gave me concern looks
It had already been 2 weeks. Yuji in a week will be under my care. I have to guide him through all of this.
Haven’t seen my husband. Haven’t eaten well. Haven’t slept well either.
Moving out of this unreasonably huge house. is for the better. Maybe a small apartment with just Yuji and I, will clear my head. To avoid seeing the maids that take pity on me. To avoid seeing my Husband.
-
I grew the courage to call Gojo.
‘If I don’t do this now. I’ll never do it.’
“Gojo, I wish to speak to you.”
“You are speaking to me right now go ahead”
“In person. This is important.”
Sigh “Fine, I'm almost done with work, i’ll be there soon.”
-
“What is it that you wish to speak about?” his voice was demanding. annoyed even.
Now seated in the living room. The maids long gone. The only noise in the house is the faint sound of the television.
“I wish to move out.” Trying to sound as nonchalant as possible
“What! why?” Irritation seeping into his voice
“This house is too big for me. I wish to move to an apartment. I am just telling you, so that you don’t think I ran away.”
“So it doesn’t matter if I say no.”
“Then I guess you can consider it as running away then.”
“Fine. If that is what you want.”
-
“AUNTIEEE” A little boy running to me with sparkles in his eyes
“MY LOVEEE!” embracing him, drowning him in kisses
Giggling “Auntie Auntie! Am I really going to live with you!”
Putting on a front. He’s still too young. I won’t ruin his childhood. When he’s older i’ll tell him. But for now i’ll do this.
“Yes, my love! we’ll have so much fun together!”
“YAYYY! I can’t wait! will uncle Sukuna visit us!”
“Yes he’ll come from time to time!”
-
I am away from the man who has the label as my husband. Who has given me his last name. where the only kiss and embrace we have shared thus far was at our wedding ceremony.
-
4 Years have passed now.
4 years since my brother passed away.
4 years since I've moved out of that suffocating house.
Within that span of that time I haven’t seen that man much. We’ve only seen eachother because we work in the same company, not because of our own will.
Though we are married. I never fully claimed the last name he gave me. I don’t claim myself as Gojo. only Itadori.
From what I've seen he doesn’t wear his wedding ring.
So I don’t wear mine.
-
Ring Ring Ring
“Itadori Speaking”
“Ms. Itadori! The meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Fushiguro isn’t going well. They need back up.”
“I’m on my way.”
-
“Heard they sent back up for us.”
“He was so pissed for no reason ugh” Massaging her temple
“I hate people like him. so stuck up for no reason.”
The clicking of heels can be heard echoing through the hallway. In one hand was documents of what Mr. and Mrs. Fushiguro will be agreeing on once entering the room.
“You three wait in the car. I got it from here.”
“WHOA! Ms. Itadori is amazing!”
“A total lifesaver!”
“A true angel!”
30 minutes have passed.
“Do you think everything’s alright in there?”
“If we don’t get the agreement Mr. Gojo will be mad!”
“Ugh, hopefully everything is going well.”
Tap Tap
“It went well! Don’t worry i’ll be the one meeting Mr. Gojo, you three.” smiling warmly at them
“KYAHHH MS. ITADORI YOU'RE AMAZINGG!!”
-
“Ms. Itadori your meeting with Mr. Gojo.”
“Thank you for reminding me.”
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous to face him alone. When we would see eachother it would be in a room full of other staff, other high powered authorities, and even our parents.
Never alone.
Knock Knock
“Come in” He calls out
‘Calm down Y/N.’
Opening the door to his office.
“Mr. Gojo.” Bowing slightly.
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Thank you for the support on Part One I really appreciate it! This one was a little difficult for me because I struggled with wording (That’s why there’s a time skip sorry!). Anyways, Thank you guys for reading!
Tag List
@cocolawd @kalopsia-flaneur @megumisthirdog @cyzvx
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warlock wizard Wally scribbles... Thinkings! oh and a bonus bard-ish Barnabys in the corner for flavor
outfit ramblings:
first of all that is a Terrible rendition of what Home looks like in my head. i just needed to fill empty space </3
the staff was the toughest part honestly. bc it Had to be paintbrush-themed, but then halfway through scribbling i was like "oh shit. there are only so many ways to draw a paintbrush-wizard-staff and Weevmo already hit it out of the park." so if you're seeing similarities! you're right! i tried to make it as different as i could! there is Inspiration from their marvelous design, however accidental or subconscious! Apologies!
he gets a pointed hood instead of a hat because a) it looks great on him! and b) it has less of a chance of messing up his hair! also c) it helps muddle the difference between Wizard and Warlock. typically hoods have evil/duplicitous connotation - blur the lines! i want his long gloves and forearm wraps to have the same vibe. his neckerchief is a big help in hiding Home's seal!
his layered (loosely apple-themed) capelet (which the hood is attached to) has a nice high collar & hides the details of his loose shirt - eye embroidery! and some flowers on the shoulders but yk, mostly eyes. on one side of the shirt buttons has open eyes, the other side they're closed! there's also one big eye on his back!
his belt buckle is two halves of an apple! he wears tall thigh-high boots w/ low heels to feel Taller! he has a book-holster hooked to the back of his belt, which holds his grimoire! and he has a lil thigh-bag that has been magicked to be Bottomless and warps size! he can fit pretty much anything in there! canvases! paint! apples!
his half-skirt thing (idk what the word for it is!) is really plush, like a quilt - his capelet is the same fabric. soft, cozy. sometimes he'll use the skirt thing as a blanket in a pinch, or as a picnic placemat!
is his outfit a little Complicated? is it annoying to replicate? yes and yes. but im a maximalist at heart and Nothing But The Best for the blorbo <3 layers my beloved <3
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da-proti-toku-grem · 27 days
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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/
#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad#and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay#but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh#like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet#but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety#or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place#1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out#2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me#3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days#4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night#but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed#and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed#maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk#but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me#i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not#but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix#or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY#have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them#even if i don't like them#instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc#but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up#it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting
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the mariana snailfish is. an alternate form of the axolotl
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permanentswaps · 13 hours
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Building Each Other Up
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I've been training Shane for years now. When he first started coming to the gym, he was just a scrawny kid fresh out of college, looking to put on some muscles so that he could impress the ladies.
I remember the first time we met. I saw him struggling with the barbell, his form all over the place, and honestly, it looked like he was going to throw his back out any minute. Being the seasoned gym-goer that I am, I couldn't just stand by and watch. So, I offered to help him out. After all, I'd been working out for years and liked to think I was in pretty good shape.
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The gym had always been more than just a place to let off steam and bulk up —it was a sanctuary. As a closeted single guy in his mid-thirties, the gym was a place where I could discreetly check out guys, maybe even meet the occasional DL hookup without fear of judgment or exposure.
But then Shane came along, and everything changed. We started out as just friends, bonding over working towards our mutual goals in the gym. But as I trained him, helping him sculpt his body, our friendship deepened. He looked up to me, admired my dedication and expertise, and in turn, I found a sense of purpose and fulfillment in helping him reach his goals.
Over the years, Shane and I grew closer. We shared more than just sets and reps; we shared our hopes, fears, and dreams. And amidst all the sweat and strain, I found myself opening up to him in ways I never thought possible. I confided in him about my sexuality, my struggles with self-acceptance, and the challenges of living a double life. And to my relief and gratitude, Shane was always there for me, offering support, understanding, and a listening ear. It was truly the best friendship I’ve ever had.
Our unique bond didn't just stem from the amount of time we spent together at the gym; it was also fueled by our unorthodox training style. You see, we had a secret potion, which I had first discovered when I was Shane’s age.
To everyone else in the gym, it just looked like your typical pre-workout supplement. But for Shane and me, it was so much more. This potion had a remarkable ability—it allowed Shane to jump into my body.
When Shane would make the jump, I would become powerless, a spectator in my own body. He was in total control, and only he could decide when to jump back out. But the benefits were undeniable. Not only would he gain the muscle memory from the workout, but he would also inherit any gains my body had achieved from the session. And since I was already pretty muscular, Shane progressed rapidly.
Sometimes, during our training sessions, I would willingly let consciousness take a nap. I trusted Shane fully, so what did it matter if I checked out for a little while? Usually, Shane would jump out after he had showered and changed for me, and we’d go about the rest of our days. But there were occasions when I would wake up the next day, only to realize that he had remained in my body longer than expected. It was a strange sensation, waking up on those days, but I trusted Shane to do what was best for both of us so it was fine by me.
While our training sessions primarily took place in the gym, there were a few instances where I allowed Shane to use my body for purposes other than working out. I remember a couple of occasions when he wanted to pick up girls at the local bar. It was a bit weird for me, considering I was into guys, but I was happy to let him have a good time. Besides, there was a thrill in experiencing what my life could have been like had I been straight, feeling my body react with excitement at the prospect of engaging in intimate relations with a woman.
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But it wasn’t long before Shane's dedication paid off, and his body became super ripped. He didn't need to rely on using my body to pick up girls anymore—he had the confidence and physique to do it all on his own. And even though he started to get a bit cocky at times, I was there to keep his ego in check.
It was around that time that we stopped using the potion and went back to being normal gym partners, pushing each other to get better. It hurts my ego to say now, but I think his physique is better now than mine ever was. Which is why Shane’s recent proposition really surprised me.
---
For the past few months, Shane had been pouring his heart and soul into training for a bodybuilding competition. Despite his relentless efforts, it seemed like he was still struggling a bit to reach his peak performance.
"Hey,” Shane said as we walked into the gym for our usual session. “So I'm struggling to get in as much training as I want to, and I could really use your help.”
"Sure, what do you need?" I replied, genuinely curious about his proposal.
"I was thinking we could use the potion again," Shane began, his words hanging in the air. "But this time... you could take over me."
My heart stopped at his suggestion. In all my years of using the potion, I had never actually took over someone else's body. I had always been too nervous to entertain the thought. What if I got excited by a guy and it outed me to whoever I had taken over? And besides, none of my friends were really any better looking than I was, so why would I want that?
But this was something different entirely. I trusted Shane fully, and I didn't really have to worry about those concerns with him. Plus, the idea of experiencing the world through Shane's eyes and getting to be in his body for a change seemed oddly appealing. And it did seem only fair since he had spent so much time in mine.
"Okay, sure," I said tentatively, my mind racing with possibilities. "What did you have in mind?"
---
Shane came up with a plan where we would alternate control, with me spending two days in his body followed by three out. He believed that this schedule would give him the mental rest he needed to train as intensely as he was hoping—or at least, that's what he said.
For our first session, I phased right into his body in a private corner of the locker room. The sensation was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I was overcome with a rush of unfamiliar sensations. Like I said, I had never actually been in another body before, and this wasn’t just any body.
Sure, I had muscles when I was his age, but they weren't nearly as defined or toned as Shane's. And I certainly never had this much energy, or this attractive of a face. I mean, I know I'm considered handsome now, but it took a lot of time (and a bit of plastic surgery, if I'm being honest) to get it that way.
I spent the next two days absolutely grinding, hitting double sessions in the gym both days, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from myself in the mirror. My chest and shoulders were absolutely massive now, each muscle defined and sculpted to perfection. It felt incredible, like I was invincible.
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At the end of those two days, Shane was super thankful and went back to training himself. But as those next three days in my own body passed by, I found myself constantly thinking about Shane, yearning to feel that rush of power and confidence again. Soon enough, I did.
With the competition looming only a few months away, we stuck to our schedule, which started fine-tuning Shane's physique to perfection one intense training session at a time. And just like in the old days—but this time with the roles reversed—I used Shane's body for hook ups when I was in control. It was refreshing to have this much energy in bed, to feel the strength and vitality pulsating through every muscle. And with Shane's youthful appearance, I found myself attracting a whole new demographic of guys. No longer was I an older daddy, the guys I pulled just saw me for the hot young stud I was.
As the competition drew nearer, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride in how far we had come.
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But still, Shane still seemed to be a bit overwhelmed by the pressure. Despite our intense training regimen, he couldn't shake off the feeling of uncertainty and self-doubt. To help him out, we decided to up my stay in his body. What started as two days gradually turned into three, then four day stints, and eventually, I found myself spending an entire week inhabiting Shane's body.
He was thankful for the dedication and hard work I was putting in, and I could see the relief in his eyes every time I got out. But as the days passed, I found myself slowly becoming addicted to Shane's physique and his youth. There was something intoxicating about being in a body that radiated strength and vitality.
Things went awry, though, when I stayed for 11 days straight. I could sense that Shane was starting to get annoyed, his frustration simmering for at least a few days. Then, it reached a breaking point.
I could hear Shane's voice in my head, telling me to get out, to give him back control of his own body. But I ignored it. You see, my most recent booty call had been out of town, and I was itching to see him again. I knew he would be back tomorrow, and I just needed to hold out until then. I needed to pound his tight hole, I just couldn't think about anything else. I mean just look at this sexy video he just sent, can you blame me?
So kept brushing off Shane's protests, telling him, "No, no, just a bit longer. I promise."
Then, things went a bit sideways.
"Mark, seriously, get out of my head!" Shane's voice echoed loudly in my mind, his anger palpable.
"Just a little longer, Shane. I promise," I replied, trying to placate him.
"You've been saying that for days! I need my body back, man," Shane insisted, his tone bordering on desperation.
"I just... I have plans, Shane. Give me until tomorrow, okay?" I pleaded, my own desperation seeping into my voice.
But Shane wasn't having it. "No more excuses, Mark. Get out now!”
He started to fight back, trying to push me out of his mind. Despite having no physical control, his willpower was strong, and it had been quite a while since I'd entered his body. Who knew if it was possible for him to force me out?
But I couldn't afford to entertain those thoughts. Besides, Shane sounded annoyed, and I didn't know if he'd let me back in after that. So, I stubbornly held on, determined to see things through to the end, consequences be damned.
I fought back, pushing against Shane's consciousness with all my might. Our mental energies clashed, swirling around each other in a chaotic dance. Shane was strong, no doubt about it, but from all my years of using the potion, I was just ever so slightly more experienced in this realm.
I could feel him teetering on the edge of some sort of mental cliff, his resistance wavering. And then, seizing the opportunity, I gave him one final push. Suddenly, I felt my body convulse. I watched in astonishment as my old body, presumably with Shane inside, fell out of my hunky young body and stumble backward across the room before falling down.
As he looked at me, confusion clouding his face, I couldn't help but say, "Well this is new."
To Be Continued ...
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junotter · 1 month
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sometimes researching for avatar redesigns has you 6 layers deep into the Japan's Meiji era allies wiki
#im trying to mess with some of the stuff that feels weird about the ways the fire nation is depicted idk#like i do not feel optically it is good for like them to be so heavily based on japan's imperialist actions#while dressed in clothes that come from places japan colonized#but i dont want it to just be solely japanese though i did draw zuko and azula in hakama but its largely cause i wanted to draw hakama#and like the only place with strong japanese influence being kiyoshi island and my own frustration with the modern day samurai depiction#i think fundamentally it isnt a choice that had as much thought as i am putting in put into it but it does raise an eyebrow for me#anyway i think keeping the thai influence is fine despite the brief invasion japan had into thailand due to thailand then allying with japa#and further allying with the axis due to allying with japan#ugh and ive been told not to think this much about it because its fiction but its also fiction so so so heavily based on real places#and when you base fiction on real cultures you fall into some unintentional pitfalls#i also fucking hate the royal fire nation robes they look so meh and the most costumey out of everything in the show#they look like heavy blankets despite being a supposedly hot nation#theres ways to have heavy robes (heian era japan) but they look like i make them out of fleece and velvet blankets#back to kiyoshi island i think the really only aesthetically japanese reference in the show being an island of noble warriors is lame#plus over done#it feels like nowadays theres a lot of people who get all whiney about people saying fire nation is based off japan#but like dude the creators in the comics and korra like go even more into the japanese influence and clearly it was the original intentions#also i do think you could do some pretty interesting world building by having say there be an older cultural influence on kiyoshi island#from the fire nation especially if the place is established as a central port area then you tie in some okinawan or even hawaiian reference#and gives an explanation that makes sense to why kiyoshi stands out from the rest of the earth kingdom you have long term cultural trading#and it establishes interesting relationships even pre kiyoshi time thereby drawing back onto some real historic references#cause for awhile ryukyu china and japan used to be this trading triangle which could explain some of these various influences going on#i think you can get a really interesting harmony when you create the fire nation out of a mix of japan and thailand#i mean both have these floating buildings due to living on some pretty wet lands and theres harmony in that mix#god i did see one person go like “fire nation is more based on china because theres a lot of red and red is important in china”#my brother in christ red is also important in japan#red is important in like many many asian cultures#i mean of course a lot of that importance stems from china and cultural exchange with china but idk kinda silly to say with your whole ches#like if you want to bring china in then the dragons are the biggest thing like sure some mythos has dragons in japan#but a lot of those comes from china in some way
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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...
#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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field-s-of-flowers · 6 months
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Someone is BLASTING techno music in Hebrew from their car
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azol-otl · 1 year
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Random Jason Hijinks I either wish would happen someday or find amusing to think about.
Rose and Jason break Eddie out of hell and steal his soul back from Neron. Jaime is dragged along by Rose because he and Eddie were “friends a few reboots ago”. Jason asked Roy who sent him Connor who is suffering™.
Pre-Red Hood Jason and Pre-Green Arrow Connor first meet up back when Jason was part of the All-Caste hunting a demon. It’s a one-shot adventure and the things you have to know are:  
a) this is before Jason’s growth spurt so he’s over a head shorter than Connor.
b) Connor isn’t a cape so excuse him for not understanding demons and fucking up hilariously a few times.
c) When Jason tries to kill the demon who is possessing the human, he and Connor fight about it. The fight ends when the demon explodes out of the person like the Pus of Man from Dark Souls 3.
d) Talia is the one who finds and picks up Jason from the adventure (Connor thinks she’s his mom and Jason just didn’t inherit the melanin) and is also the one who gives Connor contact information for Jason because she wants him to have some sort of friend.
e) They never actually learned the other’s name so anytime they’d hear about Red Hood or Green Arrow they literally don’t know it’s that guy they met as teenagers.
Jason decides to actually dust off his mystic training when Dick walks in and Jason gets hit with so many bad vibes he’s genuinely worried something is wrong with Dick.  
Jason: “Did they not fix the Brother Blood mind control thing fully? Did Raven miss something? Isn’t Dick friends with a million people? How have they all missed this????”
It ends with bringing Danny Chase back to life and the only person remotely happy about it is Jason and even that’s a stretch.
Rose, why are you part of the Wild Hunt?!!!
What do you mean Biz got taken by the fae?!
Roy, why is this werewolf saying he’s your husband?!
Eddie, why didn’t you tell me you were a prince of hell? What do you mean that one of Trigon’s sons is buried in Gotham?!!! No wait, you still haven’t told me how you’re a prince of hell!
Jason and Talia's road trip where Jason comes to the uncomfortable realization that he views Talia as a mother/aunt figure.
Bonus Artemis suffering Jason’s Mom Has it Going On.
Jason gets a new dog named Ellie and he loves her and Dog very much. What do you mean she’s a Blue Lantern!?
Ellie is short for Elpis and she’s absolutely Hope Corgi.
Roy finds out that he has a whole-ass checking account under one of his aliases that he never knew about. Turns out Jason created it for him years ago and Roy’s actually under W.E.  employed as an independent contractor and he’s been making 6 figures for years because Jason never bothered telling anyone that he still owns Wayne R&D.
Jason slowly but surely claims Park Row and the surrounding areas as his territory. It has the unforeseen consequence of magical folk moving into the neighborhood because Gotham is a nightmare to live in normally, Magic Gotham is even worse and the only people who can survive are big hitters like Blood, Zatanna, and Ivy or small fries like the kitchen witch near Leslie’s. Welcome to the big leagues, Jason.
Jason keeps getting mistaken for Jason Blood and it is annoying. One day some demon hunters threw something at Jason and did anyone know Jason used to be in heaven because he sure didn’t and these angel wings are a fucking nightmare.
Rose busts a gut laughing because she somehow became friends with the least demon-y demon Eddie and Jason as an angel.
Jason, Ivy, Sideways, and Impulse (Impulse voice: “Why am I even here?”) vs the Madness Wavelength in Arkham.
Jason kills Joker and finds out that he cannot. Not as in “He doesn’t die” or “There will be a new one” but a secret third option, “The universe literally resets the day every time he’s killed.” Instead of being a tragedy, it becomes a comedy as killing Joker slowly becomes Jason’s go-to when shit goes wrong/killing him is good stress relief. Stephanie discovers what happens because she’s had to write the same essay nine times once. Instead of being horrified they (and then Helena, Tim, Duke, etc.) make killing Joker a gag. The only ones not allowed to kill the Joker are Dick and Bruce because then the universe decides it’s the bad timeline instead of just resetting again.
Tim: *drops his latte on a hot guy and then embarrasses himself in public trying to apologize and becomes a meme.*
Tim: I guess I have to kill Joker now.
Jason and Kory remeeting and wow it’s really awkward that we only got close because of a universe meddler and then you dipped and never contacted me again even though I was a hundred percent serious that you were one of my first friends and are very important to me.
Oh no. Not the talking. Not communication! Kory take mercy on me and just drop me like a bad memory don’t have us open a dialogue where we reconcile all of the bullshit that happened to us and the fact that we did genuinely get close at very low points in our lives and be willing to try and be friends again!
Give! Kory! All! The! Friends! She doesn’t care if you think it’s a bad idea, it's her life!
Gotham Vigilante Tabletop Club (GVTC) featuring Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Duke, Helena, and Harper. They each get a turn as dm and every one of them brings in a different game.
Why is Damian’s friend (Colin) asking me for love advice? I’m a gay disaster ask anyone else please. ??? I guess I can try to help??? Who’s your crush?
It’s Lian and Jason regrets agreeing to help because Roy is going to murder him.
Countdown 2 Electric Boogaloo. Except for this time they were all shoved into the dimension separately and by separate events and there is no danger. It is just a multiversal road trip with the people who vexed you greatly but are slightly grown up now.
Bonus scene includes Jason’s gleeful face when he realizes he understands what all of those words Donna keeps muttering under her breath mean because Artemis was a bro and taught him Themysciran Greek.
#I didn't mean for all of them to sound like comedies but sometimes that just happens#People may hate on the all-caste for not being Jason enough or whatever#But have we ever stopped to think that Damian is related to an immortal cult and Duke is the son of an eldritch being#And Dick is related to an unrelated cult and just all the weird shit that happens in Gotham anyways?#Why can all these exist and Jason not also have mystic monk training he never uses#Listen I don't know much about Gotham's magic population but I'm pretty sure the place is awful to live in with the nine different curses#So having a dude that's basically a mage-killer claim a territory can only be a good thing for their safety#Plus I'm positive that magic folk would keep property values low because who would go looking for magic users in Park Row#Everyone was written terribly for rhato but Jason and Kory had the potential to be a really interesting relationship#Just this lack of judgement and ability to not have to shave down all of your sharp edges for one another#also I do really like the idea of them trying romance or sex and then deciding that they need friends more and then staying friends#Gotham Vigilante Tabletop Club my beloved#Look Duke and Tim canonically play tabletop games and if dc would finally acknowledge that Stephanie and Jason are nerds they would too#I miss Colin and the idea of him and Jason being disaster siblings or disaster guardian-child is important to me#I don't know if it's canon but considering linguistic drift Themyscira should either have its own language or dialect#and Donna should use it to say mean things under her breath#Jason Todd#I am not tagging anyone else their tags deserve to be Bat-Free#oh boy do I love how I can't make indents in even in html. Sorry for the eyesore whoever reads this mess
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bluehairperson · 1 year
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Apprenticember! Day 7
 Let’s go back to their physical description, but go even deeper! Do they have tattoos, piercings, scars, etc? What sort of clothes do they like?
Jamie has several scars all over their body (they used to be super clumsy in the earliest months after coming back to life), but the most evident is definitely the one they have on their left arm.
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Both Jamie and Asra hate talking about it, but this also happend because of an accident.
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At that time Jamie had a lot of troubles regulating his magic and its strenght, and after this particular accident Asra almost stopped trying to teach him magic altogether because of how bad it scared him. It took a lot of time to convince him to give it another shot.
Interestingly enough that scar appeared in a pretty reminiscent spot.
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Both Asra and Val fucking hate it.
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