#Constructive criticism is very much wanted!

[goosewriting]

One last chance III

summary: third and final part to one last chance! the long awaited reunion :3 

relationship: Rise!Leo x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of blood

word count: 3.1k

A/N: at long last, here it is! since there’s a bunch of hopping between worlds, i added clarifications for when the story changes into another timeline (NY: new york aka main timeline / KR: krangpocalypse timeline / TR: triceraton world). that way you can differentiate if there’s an actual change of place or if it’s just a time skip! i really hope you like it :’) 

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (you’re here!)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — — 

The very next day, Leo and you gathered the other turtle brothers and Casey at the dinner table to tell them your plan. Mikey would have to open two more portals; one to get the older Leo from Casey’s timeline, and one portal to go place him in the Triceraton world with the other older you. 

You two watched as everyone processed your words, displaying different emotions in their faces. Your gaze fell on Mikey, who furrowed is brows, fidgeting with his fingers.

“I don’t know if I have it in me,” the youngest turtle admitted. Raph placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“It does sound dangerous,” the eldest said.

“I don’t even know how to find those dimensions again,” Mikey added.

“Just do the same thing you were doing last time,” you offered. “What were you thinking about when Leo fell through?”

Mikey scratched his chin as he thought it over.

“I don’t know, dino nuggets?”

“Makes sense,” Leo said with a serious nod. You playfully rolled your eyes.

“How will you find my timeline, though?” asked Casey. 

“With you, actually,” Donnie chimed in, bringing his hands in front of him with touching fingertips. “Your quantum signature should be unique enough to pinpoint it. I’ll build something to amplify Mikey’s powers.” 

“Sounds like we have a plan, then,” Leo concluded, placing his hands on the table and standing up. “Let’s get started.”

– – –

Mikey trained with smaller things first, making portals from one room to the other, and catching things mid-air and safely placing them on the ground. Meanwhile, you and Leo prepared a place where older Leo could stay. One portal already took a lot of effort; you didn’t really want to overexert Mikey and have him make two big ones, one right after the other. Also, future Leo might be hurt, so Raph helped you gather supplies for a little first aid kit as well.

The night before the big day, when Mikey would open the first portal, you were way too excited to sleep. You looked over at Leo, both of you in his bed, and it seemed he wasn’t feeling much differently, nervously tapping his fingers on his chest.

“It’s gonna work, right?” he asked in a low voice. 

“I think so, yeah,” you replied genuinely.

“Do you think I- he’ll be… mad?” You propped yourself up on your elbow at his question.

“You’re asking me? Shouldn’t you know better than anyone?” 

“Iunno,” he mumbled, and you gave him a sympathetic smile. 

“Well... If everyone you knew were gone, and you had the chance to spend more time with them, even if they’re technically a different version from another dimension, wouldn’t you want to see them?”

He thought it over for a moment. 

“I think so, yeah,” he replied.

“I know I’d want it too.”

For a moment, you two just looked at each other in the dim light of his room, then a giggle escaped you.

“What?” he asked with a suspicious smile. You sighed, lying back down properly and cuddling into his side.

“It’s like a tragic love story. Two star crossed lovers, promising to find each other in any universe.”

Leo took your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I’d look for you in every universe,” he whispered. You hid face in the pillow with a groan.

“You’re so corny,” you laughed.

“And you love me for it.”

“Hmm, I do,” you said, stretching your neck to place a kiss on his cheek, then went back to getting comfortable.

Finally feeling a little more at ease, sleep slowly started to take over.

“I just hope he’s… still there,” Leo said so lowly you almost missed it. “The way Casey described the future, it was super bleak. I hope nothing happened to–”

“Shush,” you interrupted him, hugging his torso to reassure him. “It will work, I know it.”

“Hmm, yeah. It’ll work.”

With that, you both drifted off to sleep.

– – – [NY]

Donnie had built a hollow box of sorts, big enough to stand in it, with two wires coming out of either side. He put it on the floor, told Casey to step into it, and he activated it with his own nimpo, one wire connecting to Mikey, one to Donnie. The rest of you held onto Mikey’s arms like last time.

“It’s go time,” Donnie said with a wicked smile of sorts as the device started glowing.

– – – [KR]

Leo tried to hold back a pained groan between his pants. He looked at his leg; that’s a lot of blood. That krangified creature had got him good.

He tried getting back to his feet, but his leg gave out under him, and he was back on the ground, leaning onto the broken pieces of what used to be a building, sticking out from the dark sand that had taken over everything, transforming the urban landscape into a wasteland.

This is it, he thought, and bitterly smiled to himself. I’ve had a good run. Wish I had done some things differently, but…

Images of you flooded his mind, his brothers, Splinter, April, Casey… Ah, he really hoped the boy made it.

A  growling noise tore him out of his thoughts, and he saw the creature that had got him in this situation in the first place, approaching him slowly, about to pounce. With a deep exhale, Leo accepted his fate, finding no more fight left in him. He looked at the handle of his sword, now donning three coloured bands.

“Just get it over with!” he called out to the creature. Just as it was crouching down to build up its energy to jump, there was an all too familiar sizzling sound between him and the creature. 

Leo tiredly opened his eyes, and his brows rose in disbelief at what he was seeing. It was one of Mikey’s portals, moving towards him.

“What the—”

He got swept through the portal like a fish getting caught by a landing net. Gone was the coarse sand under him, replaced by something soft and warm and inviting. In front of him, figures he fully believed he’d never get to see again: his brothers, all alive; his younger self, looking at him with the same shock; Casey, and… you.

Mikey collapsed on the ground with a grunt. Raph picked him up and Donnie took them to his lab. Casey stepped out from his little box, which had deactivated the moment the portal disappeared.

“M-master Leonardo?” the boy asked in a mix of disbelief, surprise, and happiness. 

“Casey Junior,” the older Leo greeted him with a tired grin. “You made it.”

“Found the key, stopped the Krang,” Casey replied with the instructions his master had made him repeat back then. As his eyes started welling up with tears, Casey ran up to Leo and hugged him, which earned a groan of pain from the older turtle, but it turned into a chuckle. He hugged him back to the best of his abilities.

That’s when you noticed the turtle’s leg.

“O-oh my goodness, that looks very much not good,” you exclaimed, pointing at the wound covered in blood and debris.

“Yeesh,” younger Leo cringed after following your eyes.

You got to work cleaning up his wounds, disinfecting, and bandaging everything up. Older Leo was too exhausted to protest.

As the three of you were cleaning the grime off of hte turtle with a wet rag, you came to his right shoulder, and what you had thought was a giant glove, slid off slightly. So you took it off to be able to clean him better, except that instead of sliding the garment off his arm, the whole thing came off, leaving only a stubble reaching to just above where his elbow would be. Leo audibly gasped behind you.

“I- you- what happened to your arm?” Leo asked, turning to the boy on the patient’s other side. “Casey, you didn’t tell me I lost a whole arm!”

“There’s a lot I didn’t tell you, and it was for a reason–”

“Guys,” the older turtle interrupted.

Everyone got their attention back to the man on the pile of blankets.

“As much as I’m glad that you’re all okay, what am I doing here?” he questioned, his eyes jumping from Casey, to Leo, to you. 

“Don’t worry about it, just rest up,” Casey instructed.

“Yeah, we have a plan,” you added with a smile. “Just… get your energy back. We’ll explain everything later.”

He was too tired to argue, so he just let himself drift off into the welcoming embrace of sleep, and with a deep exhale, he passed out on the spot.

“Casey, stay with him,” you told the boy. “We’ll check on Mikey.” 

With a nod you instructed Leo to follow you, and you went to the lab, where you found Mikey on a makeshift cot. He was fine, also napping. Donnie assured you he just needed some rest. 

You all took turns for the next several hours to watch over the two; you caught pieces of conversations here and there, depending on whether older Leo was awake and whose turn it was to keep him company. But you tried not to eavesdrop, as you were sure he was telling them important but personal things. The one you were very curious about was the conversation older Leo had with Splinter. It seemed to be very emotional, but you kept your distance to give them some privacy. The boys’ father retired to his room for most of the day after they talked.

When it was your turn to take care of Leo, you brought some food and a change of bandages for his legs. 

“No one’s told me yet what’s going on,” he said after you handed him his food. “They told me it was your idea?”

You were kneeling next to him, and squirmed a little in your seat. 

“Are you sure you want to know now?” you asked, your gaze falling to your lap. “Don’t you want to recover a little more? You’re still in pretty rough shape–”

Leo interrupted you by calling your name. Your eyes darted back up to him and he raised a brow at you as he took a bite of the sandwich. You smiled to yourself. Some things really never change; that’s the same look young Leo would have given you in this situation.

With a sigh of defeat, you told him how after you had had your encounter in the alleyway, your timeline’s Leo had a similar one with an alternate older version of yourself, in a world where a different alien species had invaded Earth, but they were at peace now. Their Leo had died in the process, though.

“So,” you concluded after your retelling. “Leo and I, I mean my Leo, I mean…” You couldn’t help the heat creeping up to your cheeks, and the turtle gave you a knowing smirk. “Me and this world’s Leo; we thought we could help you guys out. You were left alone in a world that had no hope of being saved. And my other self is in a world worth living in, but is missing you. So, you know. 1+1=2 and here you are.”

Older Leo seemed genuinely surprised by your words. Whatever it was he had expected, this was not it. 

“I mean, you’re also free to stay here if you want to,” you offered, pointing over your shoulder. “There’s already Casey, so… I’m sure he’d like it if you stayed.”

“No can do,” Leo said with a sad smile, and you frowned. “I don’t really like the idea of playing with the timelines; my Donnie would have been vehemently against it.” He smiled nostalgically as he looked to the side for a second, then brought his attention back to you. “But in the end, he probably would have come to a similar conclusion. It’s obvious I’m not gonna ask you to bring me back to my timeline…. You were right on time, you know? A moment later and I would have been a goner.”

You gave him a worried look, but he dismissed it with a gesture of his hand.

“But,” he continued. “This isn’t my place to stay, either. I’ll take you up on your offer.” You perked up at that. “A different world at peace sounds pretty nice right about now.”

“From what Leo told me, everyone else seems to be alive there, you know,” you told him as you took out a fresh roll of gauzes from the supply box. “Raph, Mikey and Donnie. I’m sure they all miss you.”

Leo smiled, taking another bite of his sandwich as you started working on his leg. 

“And I miss them.”

“And I know it’s not the same because you won’t have the same memories and stuff–”

“Hey. It’s okay,” he calmed your doubts, holding your hand. “I appreciate it. Thank you.”

You merely gave him a nod, your heart racing at the gesture. His hand was so big, his whole presence made you feel so safe; you couldn’t wait to see your Leo keep growing and become the man you had in front of you now.

Not long after, when Mikey started feeling better, you all started preparing Leo’s departure.

– – – [TR]

You were taking your evening stroll through the park as you’d usually do. It had been raining all day though, and the cool wind seemed to make the droplets seep further into your clothes. As per usual, your feet brought you to the memorial statue by themselves, like they always did when you were lost in thought. 

Your grip tightened around your umbrella. It’s been so many years. Maybe it was time to finally let go. This grief was getting you nowhere. Leo wouldn’t want you to waste away like this just because he wasn’t there.

Standing in front of the statue, you let your eyes wander over it, looking at all the little details, discovering some new cracks in the rock. You did your best to keep it clean and all, but time, wind and rain seemed to chip away at it, no matter your efforts. Kind of like you felt, too, you concluded with a defeated sigh. 

Bringing your gaze back to the turtle’s heroic face expression, you tilted your head lightly. Just what were you supposed to do now?

– – – [NY]

Everyone got into position just like for the other portal, but you stayed back this time. You were facing away from where the yellow ring of light would open, as you didn’t want to see your older self.

“You sure you don’t want to see?” Leo asked. “The dinos looked pretty cool?” You chuckled.

“Nah, it’s okay,” you answered, looking up at him with a smile. “I don’t need to see other worlds, I have everything I need right here.”

You placed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. The turtle wasn’t able to reciprocate, but blushed as he spotted his older self a couple of steps away, giving him a thumbs up. 

– – – [TR]

You took one last look at the statue, some droplets hitting your face in the wind, which was starting to pick up. Just as you meant to turn around to leave, you heard some zaps behind you.

Just like last time, a flurry of yellow lights materialised out of nowhere over the gravel path of the park, expanding and clearing up until you could see through it. Young Leo hopped into your world, calling out to you with relief, as it meant he didn’t have to go look for you.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” he said as he jogged the short distance to where you stood.

“Wha- You’re back?” You were shocked to your bones, as you really thought you would never get to see any Leo ever again. “Why? How?”

“Doesn’t matter, I won’t be long either,” Leo informed you, taking your hand that you had stretched out to him. “I just came to say hi and bring you a gift.”

He let go and stepped aside. From behind him, another figure stepped through the portal. Your hand came to your mouth as you gasped, your umbrella dropping to the ground. 

Mikey groaned from the effort, the glowing yellow cracks expanding further over his arms.

“Hurry it up, guys!” Raph called from the other side of the portal. “Mikey can’t hold it open much longer!”

Turning to you, younger Leo held your hands one last time, and you dragged your eyes from one blue clad turtle to the younger one. 

“Give him the happy ending you both deserved, alright?” he asked, and giving you and older Leo one last hug, he hurried back to the portal, which started becoming more unstable by the second, the zaps threatening to collapse any moment now.

And not a second too soon, younger Leo left the scene, the portal closing right behind him with a loud crackle. 

Leo and you were left alone in the rain, looking at each other and just taking each other in.

“Hey,” Leo spoke first, taking a couple of steps in your direction.

“... Hi,“ you greeted him, your voice almost inaudible, as you looked him up and down repeatedly in disbelief. 

“The kids had a crazy idea and… it worked.”

You let out a shuddering breath, looking at your hands, opening and closing them in an attempt to ground yourself. 

“What timeline are you from?” you finally asked. Leo had to take a moment to think how to even answer that.

“The bad ending, I guess?” he settled on. “One where the world ended. I lost everything.”

He looked up at the statue of himself and smiled.

“This one didn’t lose an arm though, huh.” 

His attempt at lightening the mood was short-lived, as the small smile that had formed on your face disappeared just as quickly.

“No, but he lost everything, too,” you said, your hands clenching into fists as you dragged your eyes back up to meet his warm ones.

“You think I can fill the vacant spot he left open for this world’s coolest Leonardo?”

You couldn’t help but snort this time. 

“Yeah,” you offered, relaxing visibly. “I think he’d be okay with that.”

Leo finally approached you, carefully stroking over your cheek with the back of his hand, and you leaned into the touch. The rain hitting your face mixed with your tears.

“Okaerinasai,” you welcomed him back home as you placed your hand over his. He leaned down to touch his forehead to yours.

“Tadaima.”

— — —

Bonus:

“You think they’ll be okay?” you asked Leo after the portal closed.

“You said it yourself,” he said, placing his arm over your shoulder. “Star crossed lovers: they’ll always find back to each other because they belong together.”

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @theoriginalmintyyyshake, @DyByNyght, @Lieutenantlashfaz, @galaxtic-writings, @Lovestruckfictionadict, @salty-s-r, @sleebykei, @miso-sopas, @duckanon, @wings-of-sapphire, @ashtheboookworm2, @xxnoxx, @crystal-crax, @lunaramune

also tagging the people in the comments in the second part who wanted to see a reunion! feel free to ignore 🙈

@koalaray, @catr4dora, @mialettt, @flowerloves, @franbowidk, @warrior-girl, @nessarolla-in-constant-flux, @crystal-crax, @kitkattzz

#goose feathers #rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt x reader #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt leo x reader #leonardo x reader #rise leo x reader

[pommpuriinn]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪. 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉’𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓂𝑒, 𝑒𝓈𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑜 1

｡𖦹°‧ pairing ｡𖦹°‧ - idol!yeonjun x superstar!oc x idol!jungkook

｡𖦹°‧ synopsis ｡𖦹°‧ - a love triangle between Hollywood’s sweetheart, Korea’s golden maknae, and Gen Z’s IT boy. Estrella is a very busy woman never had time dating with all her photoshoots, movie offers, recording sessions, dance practices, and public appearances. As she’s doing a little world tour promotions for her latest mini album ‘You & Me’, and let’s just say that stop last a little longer and it becomes a little too interesting.

Italics = korean

“We are so happy you stopped by in Australia to promote your new album called ‘You & Me’ out now! Thank you again and what’s next? Where are you heading to next?” The kind morning talk host asked Estrella. “Um…it’s a secret.” Fans in the studio whined wanting to hear new info. “I know! I want to say what’s next, but all Megan is allowing me to say that it’s worth the wait and there will be many opportunities to see me. So don’t miss me too much starrys~” Estrella had a cute pouting face, making starrys cheer even louder. “And to where I’m heading next is Seoul, South Korea. I didn’t think I had such a big fan base over there, but I’m so grateful that they love me so much and want me to promote over there and experience their culture. I’m excited.” Estrella smiled at the thought of experiencing another culture and trying new food along with meeting new people.

“That’s beautiful and I hope you continue having an amazing time during this mini promotion tour. Once again please listen to Estrella’s new album ‘You & Me’! And don’t go any where Estrella will also be performing her title track ‘Eleven’ after this commercial break.” Estrella was mimicking the talk host’s action making the audience laugh, but was all light hearted because once the talk host took notice Estrella giggles and pulls her into a hug. “We’ll be right back!” Estrella finished the monologue for the talk host.

Estrella’s makeup staff member quickly made her way onto the stage to do some touch ups. “Sana-chan~” Estrella jokingly gasped, making Sana chuckle at Estrella’s cute characteristics. “She must be a sweetheart to work with.” The female talk host compliments. “She is, but she can be a bit mischievous at times and that’s when you have to be careful.” Sana has many stories of Estrella pranking her with “accidentally” messing up her makeup, or when Sana gets close to Estrella’s face while doing her makeup and Estrella would try and kiss her.

Luckily, Estrella stood still for her touch ups and fixing her outfit before getting into position to start her performance. “Let me retuck your hair real quick,” Sana gently pulls Estrella’s under the white flower chocker (hair like in the photo). “Kill the stage.” Sana whispers, before running to stand next to starrys so she can get the perfect view. The second the lights tone down and shine on Estrella and her dancers the audience went crazy.

ೃᰰ࿔eleven (sorry the audio is bad the person that made the video said the artist of the original song was singing live and the person tried their best to blend ive’s ver and original ver together)

ೃᰰ࿔choreography

The room was filled with fanchants which made Estella smile while singing. Also seeing her lightsticks being waved around excitedly shows how many people came and took time out of their day for support her. Just as the song came to an end Estrella made sure to blow kisses at everyone, as her ending pose.

To many people it’s still weird that a non Kpop artist does and has everything an Kpop artist does, but something about Estrella just fits it so well. Maybe because she was trained like one without all the ridiculous harsh criticism instead was given constructive criticism, and actually helped her work on it. She was taught about fanservice, having fanchants, how important photocards and lightsticks are, always being thankful for your fans who got you where you are today. Estrella didn’t much help with any of those because it just came to her like a second nature; she made the fanchants and posted it on her twitter, she made sure to practice taking selfies for her future pcs, the second Megan mention making a lightstick Estrella already drew it with the thought of how pretty it will look in pictures and with starrys waving it around, and ever since the beginning Estrella was thankful of her fans even if it was just one she would give them a massive hug and express how appreciative she is with just knowing her name.

As Estrella was the last segment in the show she was able to wave ‘bye’ to all her starrys that were in the studio. Estrella was making sure to look at each and every one remembering their faces and all the small details. “Estrella could you sign this?!” A fan holds up a recent magazine cover Estrella did. “Of course!” Estrella runs to the fans making everyone around scream with how close she is to them. “What’s your name?” Estrella looks right into the fan’s eyes. “P-Priscilla.” Poor Priscilla was captivated by Estrella’s big doe eyes causing her to stutter her name. “What a pretty name~” Estrella still holding eye contact smiles while signing and gives back and now signed magazine. “I’ll make sure to come back to Sydney, bye starrys!”

⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒

“Another one down and one more to go.” Megan crosses off the list in her IPad Pro. The crew was currently driving back to their hotel finally being able to relax a bit before their flight the next day to Seoul. “Make sure you write down Australia for a tour stop, please.” Estrella drags out the word ‘please’, making Megan open the tour stop list. “Estrella you practically have the world map on your tour stop list already.” Megan snicker. “Good that means starrys all over the world will have a chance to see me.” Estrella looks out at the window, daydreaming about how her tour is going to look like fill with starrys and their lightstick singing and dancing– “Nuh-uh, don’t start planning the tour already missy. You still need to take a break from working so much before you burn yourself out.” Daya who is now Estrella’s assistant manager, scolds Estrella from the passenger seat erupting her daydreaming.

“Yeah after during some promotional work in Seoul let’s take a mini vacation there–oh! We can also go to Japan and I can show you guys what I grew up with. Plus don’t you love Pokémon mine chīsana hoshi?” Sana was trying to convince Estrella. “I do! Let’s do it.” Estrella’s eyes sparkle at the thought of purchasing all the little cute Pokémon plushies plus the thought of all the cute theme cafes they can go to. “Let’s just rest before planning something else.” Megan couldn’t handle booking more plane tickets and hotel rooms. The migraine was slow seeping through again.

Once everyone showered and all went to rest in their respective rooms for a good amount of time, Megan texted the group chat to meet in her room to give a little run down the schedule in Korea Estrella has. To no one’s surprise both Estrella and Sana walked in with their matching Chiikawa pajamas and matching Sanrio headbands. “Oh was I erupting something important?” Megan holds in her laughter, as she sees not only the matching pieces but they both had a pink skincare face masks on. “No. Not at all.” Estrella innocently answered. “Ah Estrella never loose your bright spirit.” Daya and the rest of the team love how oblivious Estrella could be. They just want to protect her from the world.

“Ok moving on,” Megan cleared her throat. “So once we land we go straight to our hotel rooms and immediately start getting Estrella ready for her interview with very popular television personality, Yoo Jaesuk. Have you been studying more Korean?” Megan looks up at Estrella. She hums ‘yes’, “hi, I’m Estrella Blue and please take care of me.” Everyone clapped. “That was good, and don’t worry you will still have an ear-in so they can translate for you. Next we have music bank promotions only for a week to test out the waters. During that time you can do tiktok dance challenges with some idols, and speaking of tiktok challenges we have this company called Hybe which is the home to many big artists originally know for groups like BTS and Tomorrow x Together. Who want to show you around the building and film again tiktok dance challenges with their artists including showing you around the company. The next one is the ‘You & Me pop up shop.”

“Wait! They aren’t trying to recruit her right?” Daya rises an eyebrow towards Megan. “Hell no! What they emailed me and talked through the phone is wanting to film a little video showing Estrella around that’s it.”

“Good just making sure.” Daya nods. “Then finally attending some Seoul fashion show/parties and that’s it.” Megan sighs, finishing reading the schedule. “I hope I do well guys.” Estrella was stressing a bit about the language barrier and all the new mannerisms she had to learn to make sure not to offend the people of there. “Hey, you got this mine chīsana hoshi.” Sana wraps her arms around Estrella’s shoulder hugging her. “Plus you have a large group of fans waiting for you there already ready to support and cheer you on.” Sana gives some comforting words, hopefully bringing Estrella spirits up. “Yeah, don’t stress Estrella.” Daya affectionately pets Estrella’s head. “Trust me our precious star we will always be by your side. And when things get too much just signal to us, and we’ll be there.” Megan takes a hold of Estrella’s hand gently caressing her knuckles. “Thanks guys.” Estrella pouts, feeling emotional with all the love they are giving her.

⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒

Waking up at the crack ass of dawn, going to the airport and checking in, finally flying then landing. The whole team were like zombies coming out of plane dragging their feet following everyone out. Estrella’s security got close to the team, as they were getting closer to the door leading out to the main airport lobby. “Wait! Before went enter chaos. Let me fix your outfit.” Sana quickly stopped Estella was moving to fix tiny details. “Ok,” Sana sighs. “You’re perfect.” Estrella snickers at Sana. “Thank you~” Estella sings.

The second those double doors slide open bright lights start flashing and the yelling starts. “Oh my god.” Estrella really underestimated the popularity she holds in Korea. Just as Estrella was going to start walking the Korean press was telling her stop and pose for them. “Just give a couple of cute poses.” Megan whispers before getting out of the shot.

“Estrella over here!”

“Heartu heartu Estrella!”

Estrella was trying to do all the heart poses she remembers. Some fans were showing her which ones to do. “Ok that’s enough we have to get going, thank you.” Megan announces to the reporters. Security immediately goes back to Estrella’s side and start their walk out of the Incheon airport. Estrella is surprise with all the phones and cameras that were filming every second of the walk along with fans trying to hand her letters and gifts. “Oh, thank you.” Estrella smiles, and took the gifts. Some fans were trying to get Estrella to complete their hearts which she gladly completed them. What really took the Korean fans’ hearts were when Estrella was saying ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ in Korean as well as giving small bows at them. The team safely made it to their car and Estrella rolled down the window to wave ‘bye’ at everyone who were still filming and yelling encouraging words at her.

“I will enjoy m-my time…”

Estella quickly asks for help, as she forgot some words. “Here in Korea.” Megan quickly helps her. “Here in Korea, thank you.”

“See nothing to worry about.” Daya hands over some more fan letters that Estella missed. “Thanks, and I guess not.” Estrella said, as she looks back at everyone that was waiting for her getting smaller and smaller. “Wow~ they work fast look-” Sana shows everyone the newly posted article of ‘Estrella Blue landing in Korea!’ Megan takes Sana’s phone and starts reading, “The mega superstar Estrella Blue finally lands in Seoul, South Korea and immediately shows her beautiful visuals and amazing fanservice. A born to be artist who has the talent, fashion, and goddess like visuals.”

“Goddess like visuals?!” Estrella is shock at all the high compliments they are giving her. “They also say your Korean sounds so cute and might be a new trend.” Megan adds. “I sound like a baby though.” Estrella chuckles, while looking at all the buildings and people that they were passing by. “Korea will definitely be interesting.” Sana has a feeling Korea might not go the way they thought it will, but in a good way.

#txt scenarios #txt scenario #txt imagines #txt yeonjun #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun x oc #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun imagines #bts scenario #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook x oc #jungkook scenarios #jungkook scenario

[moonxytcn]

Hey! Could I request Billie comforting and taking care of an insecure reader with an eating disorder

And, I'd love to be friends :)

Love and Insecurities ||

Billie Eilish x fem!reader

summary – when you feel insecure Billie is there to remind you how beautiful you are.

warnings – fluffy, angst (almost anything ), eating disorder.

word count – 606.

a/n – Heyy! my first request, I'm happy. I hope you like this, and I'm sorry if it wasn't that good I'm a new writer so I'm still learning, constructive criticism is always welcome. thank you very much for requesting.

English is not my first language so there may be some errors

This gif isn't mine, I found it on Google

–––

You are sitting by the window, watching the city lights sparkle in the darkness of the night. A gentle breeze enters the room, bringing with it a sense of calm and serenity, as you let yourself be enveloped by the silence of the night. Waiting for Billie, who at this moment was in her studio, you can't help but fear the moment when she comes home with the same pizza box she always brings when she comes home late at night.

Your eating disorder has been present since school. Since you were a teenager, you've always been a bit chubby in your thighs, belly, and arms, which at the time led you to suffer bullying. Not wanting to hear any more comments and teasing about your body, you started reducing the amount of food you ate and sometimes even skipped meals during the day, all in an attempt to get as close as possible to the imposed standards.

When you met Billie, it was like a breath of fresh air. From the moment you laid eyes on each other, it seemed like a line had been drawn connecting you two. Billie has always been kind and loving to you, always making sure to tell you how much she loves you and affirming how beautiful you are. Of course, over time, this reduced the insecurity you had around her, but there was always a small flame waiting to grow, I mean, surely she's seen prettier women out there, right? She was a famous singer, you were sure there were better people to be by her side.

But she always assured you that you were the right person for her, that she loved you, and that you were the one she loved showing off to the world, always protecting you from the paparazzi but also showing the cameras the beautiful girlfriend she had.

Snapping out of your thoughts with the sound of the door opening, you got off the window ledge and went downstairs to meet her.

"Hey, love." She says when she sees you, coming towards you and hugging you and giving you a soft kiss on your lips as a greeting. "I brought pizza." She adds, smiling, showing her dimples.

"Hey darling. How was your day?" You ask. "I'm really not that hungry." You say and you don't notice but she already looks at you with recognition in her blue eyes.

"It's okay, come here." She says, taking your hand and leading you to the couch where she lays you down and climbs on top of you. "You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are, and I know I've been a bit distant with the album production, but I promise I'll remind you of this every day. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever had the pleasure of seeing, and I'm thankful every day to be able to call you mine." She says, looking deeply into your eyes. And with her words, you feel your eyes welling up as you try to look away, but she doesn't let you, gently grabbing your jaw to make you look at her.

Looking into your eyes she leans in and gives a soft kiss on your eyes, cheeks, forehead, and until she reaches your lips where she gives a kiss full of love, passion, and affection for you. "You are amazing and I'll never tire of saying that to you." She says softly to you.

She gives a last kiss on your lips and leaves light kisses like feathers down your neck, which she passes to your collarbone and onto your arms, belly, and thighs where she knows are the parts you like the least. "I love you entirely, I love your brown eyes, your beautiful arms, your belly, and those wonderful thighs where I always love to be in the middle because you know I love it when you almost suffocate me with them." She says, making you let out a little laugh which she finds adorable.

You pull her up by her t-shirt and pull her into a deep kiss, trying to show your gratitude and love for her. Coming out of the kiss all you can say to her is how much you love her and how grateful you are to have her in your life, and that you hope that in the future you'll have the life you've always dreamed of together.

#billie eilish x reader #billie eilish #billie eilish imagine #billie eilish fanfic #celebrity imagine #billie eilish x fem!reader #billie eilish x you #wlw #billie eilish fic

[homesickturner]

Homesick - Ch. 1

plot : childhood best friends Gracie and John are separated when join joins the war. Both are dealing with their own problems…will they cope with such distance between them. Most importantly, will the friendship (or more than..) stand the test of the war?

Dara speaks : hi hi! I’m overjoyed to finally be releasing this first chapter 🥹 I just could not keep these two to myself anymore 🫶 pls comment if you enjoy…any constructive criticism is welcome also. My asks box is wide open for any and all thoughts you have after reading this chapter so please send them my way !! The idea for this series came to me while listening to my favorite song ever homesick by dua lipa…give it a listen if you have not it’s too good!

warning : will be historically inaccurate at times for the sake of storytelling. Mentions of anxiety.

Gracie and John grew up together. Their parents often say that it was not often throughout their lives that one was seen without the other. Once they reached hugh school, things certainly changed although they still remained very close.

Gracie has been an exceptional student for all her young life and had future hopes of become a nurse. John and Gracie spoke often of their future plans and although there was a chance they may end up hours and hours from each other they knew they would be alright.

“So John,” Gracie spoke up, John sitting opposite her at the dinner table at her home. “I was thinking of doing some traveling before I head to Washington in the fall…where is it that you confirmed again?.”

“Gracie-.”

“Don’t worry though it’ll be way before college so we’ll have time to work and-.”

“I’m joining the air corps,” he blurted out, setting his knife and fork down.”

“You’re…what. John you’re going off to the war and you didn’t mention it.”

“No Gracie because I knew how worried you’d be-.”

“Damn right John.” She shot back, a hurt expression clouding her face. The girl was lost for words. “I’m coming with you-.”

“Like hell you are,” he scoffed. “Quit talking crap Gracie.”

“John! I was going to be a nurse anyway at least this way I’d be helping.” She pleaded.

“Gracie..you don’t want to see what some of the nurses do in the war,” John said softly. “You have so much going for you, go to college and have fun-.”

“While you’re getting shot down out of your fucking plane John!.” She shouted back at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

“Grace I’ll be ‘aright. I’m not letting you throw your future away for me…for this stupid war.” He insisted.

“John you’re my best friend. I can’t let you go out there.” She stood from the table and began pacing the small dining room. “If I do, I’d bet money that there’ll be a letter landing on my lap in Washington in a few months because you’ll-.”

“Gracie,” he yelled, strolling to where she was in front of him and laying both hands firmly on her shoulders. “Please…you’re breaking my heart. You gotta let me go.” He choked out, getting the slightest bit emotional seeing her eyes filled with tears.

Gracie felt like the life she’d planned had been ripped from beneath her. Some may say, she indeed had the world at her feet, everything was in her favor. Her family were wealthy, she had friends and she was headed to one of the top nursing programs in the country. Gracie never in a million years expected to hear that news from John. She was so crushed, so angry that this war was going to take away her favorite person from her and maybe never give him back. Gracie knew that boy better than she knew herself, so she knew that there was no changing his mind.

Although she was deeply upset, she knew John and had every belief he was doing this for the right reasons. Gracie knew that John had a big heart and truly just wanted to do what he could in such a horrific situation.

She wished she could be mature and think clearly about the situation. At the end of the day, Gracie was 18 years old and about to potentially loose her best friend to this war. So, she certainly was not thinking clearly.

As much as Gracie tried to persuade him, John’s decision was made. One week later he and Gracie stood at the Wisconsin harbor to say their goodbyes.

“Please don’t do this,” she whispered quietly into this ear, both her arms wrapped around his neck. “I can’t loose you Johnny…you’re my other half.”

Gracie couldn’t believe John was finally leaving her. She wasn’t sure she could live without him. Unfortunately for her, she was about to find out.

“It’ll be alright Gracie, I promise you. Just trust me alright?,” he muttered to her softly, he hands rubbed her back slowly.

John knew no matter what he told her, she’d worry. He knew that they were two halves of the same coin, and they balanced each other out perfectly. John brought out her wild side and Gracie kept John’s feet on the ground when he got overexcited. They certainly brought out the best in each other.

He might have been going off to war, but the only thing he was worried about was how Gracie would cope when he was gone. She’d always been an anxious girl, and it has only worsened in her late teens. In recent years, her friends and family realized that it was only John who seemed to truly help her. They would watch the nerves and worry melt off her face and her body relax when John and Gracie were in company togther. When she was with him, it was as if all the voices in her head were quieted and she felt herself again. John could only hope a constant stream of encouraging letters would keep his Grace happy.

As they broke apart John kept his hands on her shoulders. The two kept their eyes locked for a few moments, the words that were not said danced in the air between them. The moment neither of them ever thought would come had finally arrived.

Gracie watched as John turned and slowly began to walk away from her, and into the unknown. Right before boarding the boat, he turned to her once more as she called out to him.

“John?,” she asked. “Yeah Gracie?,” he called back, a small smile forming on this lips. “

“Please take care of yourself Johnny….and I’ll be waiting for my letters.” John could see her eyes lighting up as she shouted out to him.

“I will Grace, I promise I will. You’ll have plenty of letters don’t you worry.”

Gracie watched as her best friend boarded the boat. Moments later he appeared on the top deck, finding himself a spot next to the railing and stood waving to Gracie. A smile graced her lips as she watched him waving to her, and she would laugh when every so often he would do a salute. John noticed these laughs, and did them twice as much when he noticed she enjoyed them.

Gracie’s heart broke as she watched the boat sail away slowly. She stood and waved the John until she couldn’t see him anymore. Once the boat had sailed far enough, she let some tears finally fall down her cheeks.

#buck and bucky #bucky egan #john egan #mota #rosie rosenthal #mota x reader #mota spoilers #john egan x reader #john egan x oc #Gracie and John #austin butler #callum turner #nate mann #john brady

[the-tech-turn]

Artistic Intrest

Tech x reader

Word count: 807 words

Summary: While on a supply run, Tech discovers your interest in art.

Warnings: None just fluff (let me know if there's anything I missed)

A/n: This is my first fanfic, so it may be a bit cringey, and the dialogue may seem off. I do accept constructive criticism because I want to improve, but I don't accept disrespect. This is also my first time writing Tech, so he may seem a bit off.

It was a chaotic week. The job Cid gave us was difficult, and we all needed some rest. Unfortunately, rations were low, so a supply run was necessary. Hunter said that two people should go since there wasn't much to pick up, so there was no need for everyone to go. You volunteered, and luckily for you, Tech chose to accompany you. Tech the man you've slowly grown to love in a different way than how you loved the others. You begrudgingly accepted your feelings after realizing they weren't planning to leave anytime soon.

You and Tech dress in civi clothes and walk towards the nearby town. Tech decides to fill the empty space with his curious thoughts as you walk. You were so invested in his words that you barely realized you two were in town.

You looked around in wonder. It's been so long since you've seen a place as calm as this. Little did you know Tech was also in awe of the environment, particularly how the lights enhance your charm.

You two wandered the market looking for food stands. Maybe you could find some ingredients to make homemade food instead of flavorless rations. But before you could ponder that thought you caught a glimpse of paintings hung on a stand. You stopped to try to get a better view of the illustrations.

Tech stopped confused by your sudden action. He noticed you were looking at something. He turns expecting to see some sort of potential threat but calms to find nothing dangerous. Instead, finding art hung on a stand. He sees your desire to get a better view, so he asks if you'd like to go closer.

Excited, you squeal a yes before grabbing his hand and heading over.

Wait, grabbing his hand? Tech pondered. You must've been very excited.

You, with Tech in hand, over to the stand. The painting that catches your eye is one of a bright sky gradient with a lake and a cabin. The detail was incredible, and the artwork appeared to be made of oil paint.

As you examined the work, Tech couldn't help but see the admiration sparkling in your eyes.

The owner of the stand then walked up to you and struck up a conversation.

"You like the painting?"

"Yes, I do. It is wonderful!" you reply.

"Why, thank you! I painted it myself."

"Really! It's beautiful. You captured the tranquility of the forest perfectly!"

"Well, are ya gonna buy it?"

You quickly deny saying that you were only looking since it must've been out of your

budget. The clerk hums in understanding them

walks off to speak to other customers. You continued to look at the other canvases.

There were many portraits and landscape paintings. They were each painted using a different medium. Each is skillfully created.

Each with their own story of how and why they were made. Each symbolizing something important to the artist. As Tech observed you, he found your

appreciation for art endearing. Although, he does not recall a time when you had expressed much interest in such works. Sure, you'd bring it up here and there, but never had you shown how thrilling you found it. He

couldn't help but wonder why.

You finally snapped out of the trance and realized just how exhausted you were.

"Let's finish the supply run. Why don't we." You suggest.

Tech agrees, and you two begin to walk when you realize that your fingers are still

interlocked with Tech's. "Oops, sorry Tech I… I forgot I grabbed your hand." You laugh off.

"It is alright."

You two continue to walk, picking up everything on the list.

You both begin your walk home when Tech

begins a conversation. "The paintings seemed to catch your eye," he begun, "I do wonder why you hadn't brought up this interest before?"

"Well, you took a second to think," I guess I never really had to bring it up.. you know."

"Is it something you do not enjoy speaking of?"

No! I like to talk about this stuff! I just..." He looks at you expectantly. "Don't really know people who wanna talk about this stuff," you mumble.

A silence falls over you two.

"Then I have not done a good job in showing my interest."

"What?"

"I would like to hear what you have to say."

" Really!”

"Yes, I would."

You finally had an opportunity to share your knowledge with a willing listener, and we're not going to waste it.

You began talking about different techniques and mediums, which ones you favor, and answered any questions he had. Time flew by fast for both of you, and you were nearing the Marauder.

Tech was fascinated with your enthusiasm on this topic. He knew then and there that he wanted to listen to you more and more after this.

A/n: Thanks for reading! I hope you guys are willing to check out my future works.

#tbb #the bad batch #star wars #tbb tech #tech x reader #x reader

[velvet-vexations]

I find your reading of Kipperlily really interesting and valuable (even when I don't agree). But I think it's not accurate to suggest that Brennan is setting up something more complex and nuanced with her and it hits on something that's very frustrating for me with the Dimension 20 fandom. I love Brennan. I think he's a great storyteller with very interesting ideas and a generally empathetic attitude toward his characters. But he gets all of the credit for D20s storytelling successes, whether he deserves it or not, and none of the blame for its failings, even when he deserves it. And I think suggesting that he's trying to do something awesome with Kipperlily that the IH are ignoring or not picking up is massively overly generous to him and massively unfair to them. He built her to trigger the reactions he's getting from them, and he set up the jealousy reveal to make them angrier at her. I think there's a chance that he could end up leaning into something more sympathetic because of her age at the end (although the idea that D20 doesn't treat minors as villains is one fandom has been batting around for a while that I really don't understand: Biz Glitterdew? Anyone?). But I think suggesting that Brennan is trying to do anything other than make her hateable is way off-base. That doesn't mean your reading of the character or situation is wrong. Sometimes the best stories aren't what the writers intended. But it feels frustrating to me to see him once again credited him with something he's not actually doing. And the rest of the IH getting criticism for something he's equally a part of (Especially when he was the player dodging nuance left and right when Aabria tried to do something actually interesting with the "villains" of Burrow's End)

I understand your point. I think a lot of the collaborative storytelling in TTRPGs like this is what the players choose to follow up on, though, and players aren't like, necessarily wrong for not missing or ignoring some things. Brennan signaling that Kipperlilly's story can be engaged via empathy isn't much difference than saying a dragon can be fought or you can answer it's riddle. It's like, you can do the gunfight if you want to or you can sneak in the back but on a grand scale that can only be done in a TTRPG.

I said he's "desperately" trying to signal it to the players because I'm a little bothered about the intensity of Ally and Siobhan's reactions to KLCK and the way it feels like none of them are even hearing it, but ultimately there's very little I think any of his players could do that he wouldn't try his best to work with and I agree he does not necessarily consider this absolutely essential.

The only time I can think of him seeming to have actually had an emotionally rough time with was the climax of Mice & Murder. I normally really dislike pouring over every frame of every microexpression like that because it's usually in the service of "everyone at the table is constantly seething at Ally" conspiracy theories, but I blame BLeeM much more for that going down as it did than Rekha and he doubtlessly did too with none of his potential frustration actually being aimed at her. Other than that, it's his nature to roll with where the players want to take their characters, so I don't think he's like, banging his head against the wall trying to make the IHs understand she's sympathetic or that it's the only possible solution to anything, it's just a part of what he's constructed.

I'll say though about things he's also doing, I also don't like that his presentation of KLCK digging up Euegenia was threatening to destroy her grave and not like, digging up her corpse in order to "find the rogue teacher". So he does seem to think of her as more actively sinister than I do, at least in her current state of mind which is not necessarily the end of the discussion.

Also, about the villains in Freshman Year, that was a very, very long time ago and everything was a lot rougher and so even was Brennan as a person back then. I don't think it's farfetched at all that he's gotten even more empathetic and dedicated to praxis than he used to be and is less willing to have a bunch of underage villains get slaughtered like any other enemy and go to Actual Hell for their sins.

#dimension 20 #kipperlilly copperkettle

[spidergutz-writes]

HI BESTIEEEEEE!!! soo i was wondering if you could do some hcs for me, specifically i was wondering if you could do which bnha characters would like a fem s/o (not female, just feminine) for me 🥺 like a s/o who likes do their makeup and hair and dress super girly or stuff like that

OMG BESTIE HAI, THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST TO REQUEST SMTH.

ILL DO MY BEST <3

Now, I am a firm believer that Mirio would be absolutely head over heals for you. He loves how cute you always look, and he just thinks that pink goes so well with you!

10/10 he would spoil you with so many gifts. He’s always buying you Make-up. He also loves watching you do your Make-up

100% brags to others about you. Always showing you off, I mean, why wouldn’t he? He’s just so happy that your his!

”your just so pretty! How could I not stare at you?” feels like not staring at you is a crime.

shinsou is always enamored by your style. He thinks your an angel, sent from the heavens solely for him.

will find nice pink flowers to leave on your desk, or kitchen table.

Definitely calls you princess, no matter your gender. He just thinks it fits!

Sometimes, he’ll help you pick out your outfits, giving a small nod or grunt of approval when you show him your outfits

“you can’t like them all the same! I really need you to help me pick!”

“but they all look so nice on you, princess.. :(“

Toga would love you so much. She likes that you two can match!

definitely goes on shopping stealing sprees with you.

I think she’d try to get everyone else to join in on your guy’s style, but shiggy will very quickly shut it down. Jin might join in

When toga runs out of clothes, or ruins them she always steals from you, so expect to come home with her in your skirts and tank tops.

“your clothes are soooo much cuter than mine! It’s only fair that you share!”

Fatgum doesn’t understand how you can be so gosh darned CUTE?

Seriously, your going to give this poor man an aneurism. Yknow that moment when you think something’s so cute ya wanna squeeze it reaaaaalll hard? Yeah that’s how he feels. Always looking for a reason to complement you.

he loves how girly you are. It’s just so cute to him.

calls you cutie all the time. It’s basically your new name.

“Well, I think it’s only right that I give you a fitting nickname, my cutie 🥰 “

you can’t convince me that miruko wouldn’t love your style to an absolute.

she’s always complementing you, telling you how much she loves your style.

will pick you up randomly just to mumble how cute you look in your all pink outfit <3

she Carry’s you a lot, she doesn’t want your pretty outfit to get messed up! :(

definitely likes that you wear pink. She thinks it complements her hero costume colors.

will do your makeup for you <3 she has such a steady hand.

“my sweet bunny, I’d love to help with anything<3”

#mirio x reader #miruko x reader #Fatgum x reader #shinsou x reader #toga x reader #this is my first request #Constructive criticism is very much wanted! #Gimmie any tips you have please

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry #everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now #i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse #i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be #but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol #but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something #for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave #and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from #and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true #and i can't support people like that and take them seriously #i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well #but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch #and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard #yrtalk #with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame #but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so #and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows #but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't

[maxellminidisc]

Silly but the DūnM3sh nonsense around the last episode has me thinking about how like idk mostly white autistic folks (of the vairety who are not in need of higher assistance) online act like ALL autistic folks exhibit the exact same symptoms and behaviors in social settings when like I find mostly other poc and a lot of women regardless of race have very different experiences with the sort of "stereotypical" reaction and behavior that's most often associated with autism. Which leads to a lot of you assuming we are neurotypical and then this line of thinking extends into your reading of autistic characters, be they headcanons or canon characters. Rest of this is going under a read more

Like idk for a poc, theres already very little grace given to us in social situations, especially when around white people. You guys dont realize but we are consistently aware that no matter what, when we enter a space with y'all there will always be an internal bias present in white people that will deem any behavior of confrontation as inherently aggressive or mean.

So we learn to navigate social situations with an already high level of need to analyze so many of the behaviors and cues of the people around us out of complete necessity. Neurodivergency or not, this becomes a matter of survival. And for some people, like me, the need to do this and possibly avoid and save yourself the pain of having people who's racism is a potential harm to you becomes a priority in your brain more than anything else you have going on. You cant completely shut everything else out about your neurodivergency but you learn enough to keep yourself safe. It's what I was forced to learn when I was like 5-13 because I was relentlessly bullied for my race and ethnicity, and later for my incapacity to not understand certain social cues or even break rules until I was about 12/13.

I'm not completely without symptoms and if anything some of them have gotten worse. I struggle now with knowing when to stop talking until I notice people start looking bored or annoyed and I sometimes dont talk enough for fear of being annoying to people I'm close to. Not to mention I'm ALWAYS double checking what I say in a way that's almost like a compulsion. Like constantly, to the point where before I say something with say like factual information, I like quadruple plus plus check everything on Google before I say it (and even then I might get shit wrong and my reaction to that is....oh boy). And even then I sometimes end up not saying anything because I'm too scared I said something wrong and mislead or upset someone. Or worse, this information is unwarranted and annoying.

If anything I'm someone who's neurodivergency made them OVER COMPENSATE the need to pick up on social cues, eye contact, sociability, etc because it was a way to defend myself (by making it harder to pick on me without push back) or keep myself safe.

But at the end of the day the constant need to keep up with ALL of this burnt me out by the time I was in college and it made me incapable of masking very many noticeable things anymore, especially my over sensory and stimming when I'm stressed (which isnt helped by the fact that I have synesthesia), the anxiety it produces, and ultimately that it leads me to having a panic attack and has me in the place I am now where that shame of freaking out in loud spaces gave me agoraphobia. Now my threshold for "neurotypical behavior" is like SIGNIFICANTLY shorter when I leave my house.

And I constantly apologize for sharing information when I do. Like I have it instilled in me now to say sorry for information I share because I think I'm bothering people. And my capacity to understand jokes is flawed if the person I'm talking to isnt someone I'm consistently around because I haven't completely been able to process the way they speak or their sense of humor. I sometimes take jokes that are lies, unreality, or sarcasm as literal and people have to say "oh no I was joking I made that up".

When I first meet people I'm actually told I'm way too quiet and kind of intimidating because I guess people can sense that I'm analyzing them like a lil computer and I look them in the eyes TOO much. Funnily enough one of my close friends in high school didnt like me very much at firsy because she asked me if I liked her after very little time of being introduced and I straight up said no without much thought as to why that would offend her alskdkdmkfkd but after a while of getting to know her more, we got close, and like most people, after a while they say I seem pretty "normal" and "nice".

And this isnt even touching on my emotional responses and my horrible rejection sensitivity. That would make this even longer. But the one thing I'll say is it's made my relationship with my family VERY bumpy, and especially tumultuous when young, and it's something they struggle to understand still A LOT.

And outside of situations where I cant mask anymore from exhaustion, I get why it's sort if unsurprising to me when I've met white autistic folks who mistakenly assume I'm neurotypical because I can just navigate conversations with a sheen of "normalcy" (and lol racism), until we talk and they're like oh shit I get it now (usually white people with ADHD can pick up on my neurodivergency much faster which is funny lol) where as other people of color with adhd/autism dont ever make that assumption, they just get it. They pick up on ME analyzing them and we just look at each other like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

#anyway alls to say is #the way we navigate society creates a much different experience of neurodivergency than you might think #and even then it might not be that different beneath the surface #but thats the thing you need to look beyond the surface of your assumptions in the first place #and again this mostly only applies to the experiences of lower support needs folks #online is where im like MOST chatty in person it takes me months to be like open to people #ill be polite and what not but i say very little of myself and get people to tell me about them #or im constantly listening and watchinf #which again is why i am like almost dead serious when i jokingly call Kabru my kinny skdkfkfkkck #this is also why i joined a lot of speech and debate shit cause i wanted to perfect #this capacity to talk to people and use that capacity for analysis to construct criticism or confrontation too

[silasbug]

reminder: stop asking SO their opinion on my art.

spoiler: it's always disappointing.

#like idk man. i think i'm getting a little better (disregarding SebbyQUEST obviously) but their reaction is always disheartening #like.. i dunno man.. if i seem a little excited about it maybe don't go 'nice..?' with an audible/unsure question mark #a solid 'nice' would be appreciated #my favorite is still 'ehhhh...... mehh...' ouch #fucks sake mate #and you know what? those reactions would be perfectly fine if they at least had some constructive criticism #or said anything to accompany that #but they don't. so it only feels shitty. (thanks.) #i don't want to feel like the kid whose crappy drawing you put up on the fridge only because you feel bad about it. but that does it. #i am very well aware that i'm.. not great/mediocre at these things. i don't expect more than a lukewarm reaction. #and i know that. and at the end of the day. i'm doing/making these things because i want to. because it brings me some form of joy. #and because i hope to get better with time. but i.. don't think a little encouragement is too much to ask for. #actually i think the best reaction i've gotten from them so far was actually SebbyQUEST. lol. yikes. #sighs. here i go being a whiny lil' bug about it. #bug.txt

[theophagie-remade]

I don't have much to say about Magne other than there was an Attempt, but. That time when Twice and Toga got angry with Overhaul for misgendering her was already indicative of what I'm going to get at in a sec, and obviously it was especially relevant because it was a direct show of respect and support from people who very clearly cared about her (and who called her big sis already as it was!!) (×2 imo because Twice was intentionally written to be the readers' insight into the LOV, and the character with whom they were supposed sympathise with the most at/since the beginning, so it's especially important that the first one who spoke up was him), but the story's progression (especially in recent years) is what most assures me that despite a rather poor execution (definitely not the best, but also certainly not the worst) Horikoshi did mean well with her. "People bound together by the chains of society always laugh at those who aren't" :(

#^ when she quotes her friend. like had the manga not gone on like it has that could have very well been a generic #We Live in a Society moment. but it wasn't. and that's what's comforting tbh #in general i think a big issue with magne from what little we know of her is that her reason for joining the lov was fighting back against #a tangibile real world issue (transphobia) vs all the other villains. whose situations Are partially real world issues as well #(eg child abuse) but they also very much present fantasy elements to them (eg toga's treatment due to her quirk) #and i'm not saying this as a justification for killing her off but. when you're writing a superhero comic with a target audience of young #cishet men it is much easier to present them with fantasy solutions to fantasy problems. again not that i think it's right!!! #but i do assume that horikoshi's thought process was more or less this. like. tiger is there alive and well #but he passes and was confirmed to be trans only via word of god so his identity has no bearing on the story itself #while magne's did. which doesn't make tiger's transness any less ''real'' than hers ofc but again i think it was a matter of what horikoshi #could actually deal with (fantasy problems) with the average readers that he has. it sucks all the way around. #which begs the question. ''why create her character in the first place then'' to which i answer: i don't fucking know man #bnha #animanga #mytext #in general. i've seen lots of people do this even with eg toga and her bisexuality (and when it comes to her i completely disagree but w/e) #but. authors who want to depic queer characters in good will but make mistakes or do it awkwardly or anything else #should Not be put on the same level as actively queerphobic authors. at all. do criticise what's worthy of constructive #criticism when you see it but don't even pretend that those two are remotely the same thing #(jic i didn't explain myself well bc i don't think that i did. what i wholly disagree with is that ''toga is a bad bi stereotype''. #i am bi people and i disagree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[msfcatlover]

[ID: A single panel from an old Batman comic, depicting Batman escorting a man dressed like him away from the viewer. Batman is saying, “Let’s go, son. Let’s get you some help.” Around them are several narrative boxes, in two different colors. The green boxes, cumulatively, read: “But the avenger within the Batman co-exists with the compassionate man. Batman is indeed two people… and both are Bruce Wayne.” The single yellow box reads simply: “The End.” /ID]

Excuse me as I just leave this here…

#Batman #bruce wayne #the batman #robin #dc comics #// #I am sharing this panel because I do not have words to express how much I /LOATHE/ the reading where #’’Batman is his true self! Bruce Wayne is just a mask!’’ #Bruce Wayne the public figure is absolutely a construct. BUT SO IS BATMAN. Because Batman must be something more than human. #Even outside of JL situations (where Batman is ALSO a very public figure) criminals &citizens alike have to believe Batman to be infallible #or else Bruce can’t get the effect he wants. Criminals won’t fear him & citizens won’t feel as safe. #The Real Bruce Wayne(TM) only exists around a select few people he trusts more than life itself. (Alfred. His kids. Usually Superman.) #and even then only in private. #The Real Bruce Wayne(TM) is Bruce at the batcomputer with his cowl down; pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off a headache. #The Real Bruce Wayne(TM) still sits up straighter when Alfred blandly criticizes Bruce’s posture; even when Bruce is basically asleep. #The Real Bruce Wayne(TM)is a Dad(TM)who needs to make sure these kid vigilantes are as safe as possible&keeps ‘accidentally’ adopting them. #Every time I see/hear someone say ‘‘Bruce Wayne is the mask! Batman’s who he REALLY is!’’ #I get thiiiiiiis much closer to ripping my own face off in frustration. #This will be my villain origin story. #(And no: I am /NOT/ open to debate.)

[hyperfixated-homo]

not rlly that proud of this but. littol bloo sketch

#art #shadow draws #not an oc #just a random person lmao #v androgynus looking tho. very femine but my style is always like that? so it comes off as neither boy nor girl? that's fun #wish i went darker with the shadows. there's not enough contrast there #its BRIGHT but not contrasting if that makes sense #i need to learn how to make shadows darker #maybe f around with some more dull/neutral shades so that i learn how to make that stuff work #it may just be that i make too much of the drawing in light? and then don't make the shadows sharp enough or something? #nothing in this drawing is sharp enough tbh #idrk. im working on it though #didnt mean to go on a full rant in the tags uhm. oops #if youve read this far tell me what you think abt this (only if you want to) and what you think i could improve on #im ALWAYS looking for (constructive) criticism #and even if its not constructive. i need to be taken down a couple pegs sometimes lmao

[diluc33rpm]

2/2 Do you crave approval and/or praise?

yeah? what do you mean you don’t like tumpet ? 🎺bwaaa?

#the... normal amount i’d guess #i used to certainly #but i think that’s disappeared as a ‘craving’ in that sense and is a lot more of a mundane form of occasionally seeking reassurance #i get nervous about it sometimes but i’ve been beginning to accept that it’s ok to want to feel out differences in perspectives with others #so that’s fine #also helps a lot with feeling motivated about creative work and other kinds of pursuits #note on that though i am talking about PEER approval the first step in even getting here was being ok approving of myself first #mainly had to do with deprogramming and just. unlearning a bunch of self beliefs (i at least was sorta aware of it but its hard even then) #but once you have that particular baseline of respect for yourself as a person imo you don’t really crave anything so much? #there’s no subsisting off of other people inasmuch as conducting a relationship with them because you’re not trying to replace a lack of it #relating to others in a healthy way very much is about genuinely believing yourself and trusting your own pov first #before you can get to the rest. hell of a climb if you’ve spent any part of your life mostly hearing critical gaslighting or indifference #but in my experience at least it’s a lot of burden off both yourself and the people you care for once you finally make it there #gonna have a hard time constructing anything more if youre not standing on solid ground first (..& hopefully not somewhere prone to floods)

[marypsue]

I had been thinking about rereading the road goes ever on to make a list of all the movie references I put in (which is coming shortly). The conversation I had on here (with possibly two different anons?) about how I wished I’d had more time to develop the final chapter and whether I’d go back and make edits to that chapter now that it’s published lit a fire under me to actually do that reread. I finished it tonight, and discovered that, now that I’ve got enough distance from the fic to read it more from the perspective of a reader than from the perspective of a writer working on editing a WIP, there’s really only one thing about the final chapter that I’d actually want to change: 

I never put a scene in the epilogue that shows that Kali’s still occasionally posing as Conners and working (possibly with Owens’ help) to sabotage any further attempts by the government to keep the whole ‘kidnapping psychics’ thing going or to open a new Gate. 

#listen i TOLD you guys i cannot shut up about this fic #and yeah I was being too self-critical. I was too close to the fic and dwelling too much. #the final chapter is solid and it does what I wanted it to do. the ending is satisfying. the one thing I thought was a minor continuity erro #is actually dealt with in an earlier scene! I fixed it and then forget I'd fixed it! #the fic is good! the mystery is well-constructed! it did a number of things I'm very proud of! #and I need to remember those things instead of just dwelling on how it felt when I was trapped in editing hell #because nobody else was there in editing hell with me! and now it's Out of editing hell! and it actually came out looking pretty damn good! #the fic is good and I feel good about it. and I will try to keep that in mind the next time I feel like undercutting my own work #anyway thank u anon(s?) from whenever that was and also I'm sorry for being a wet hen #(I also never put a scene in the epilogue that showed Kali going back to her crew with her new understanding about relying on people #and that they weren't trying to mutiny against her they were trying to PROTECT her because that's what families do) #(if I were to go back to it i'd add those two scenes and not make a single other change) #(actually on reflection those might be just two elements of one scene.)

[crystalkleure]

I can do some contact juggling tricks but have no one to perform them for :(

#No friends IRL...sick and housebound alone with horrible mother only all day every day #And she makes fun of me and nitpicks everything I try to do as Simply Never Being Good Enough #My god I am playing with the shiny orbs because it is FUN I am not TRYING to be the best goddamn circus ball fondler the world has ever seen #I am trying to entertain myself and share that entertainment with other people and that is ALL #''Constructive criticism'' my ass. That's just...mean. #.It speaks #.Maxim 🎩 #''Everything you do is wrong all the time and I am going to sweetly condescend to you like you are a little adorable baby about it :)'' #''If you get upset about this you are an ungrateful bitch because I am of course only trying to help you get better :)'' #''Don't take it out on me just because you can't ever get anything right and want to throw a little tantrum about it :))'' #<- Said while I've only done so much as Very Meekly And Quietly Ask Her To Please Stop Nitpicking Me Because It's Making It Not Fun #And Also Making Me Nervous/Confused And Thus Making Me Not Be Able To Focus Which Is Making Me Mess Up MORE #I didn't raise my voice or anything... #She called me going quiet and sadly leaving the room a ''temper tantrum'' because I just ''can't handle failure'' #I was...playing with silly little toys...I was having fun and trying to SHARE IT... #She does the exact same thing if I ever try to show her my art. She just endlessly complains about all the ways it Could Be Better. #She'll even wait for me to point out the parts of it I am Explicitly Happy With and then FOCUS on All The Ways Those Parts Specifically Suck #And she grins and Condescendingly Sweet-Little-Old-Lady Talks the whole time she's doing it. That horrible voice. That horrible smirk #I stopped showing her my art years ago