#Due both to how she worded and the context. How it seemed to be another sign of her superior wisdom that she realises this

[fragmentedblade]

No but even beyond the heathcliffean air of his story as a kid, Nelly scene and revenge fantasies included, and even beyond the identification of the self with the craft, the entire concept of Yingxing is so good.

The glimpse we get of the relationship he has with his master has so much potential. What it says about him, what it says about everyone around them, what it says about the kid.

The fact that already as a child Yingxing was vindictive, as he will be as Blade.

His self-consciousness about being a short life species, and how he is right to be self-conscious about it. How in such a short time, being so young, he's had to deal with enormous tragedy, so that he can even as a kid look the truth in the eye and admit it. Admit that he has to work harder, longer, more obsessively, and that still nonetheless there's little chance to get ever at the level of the long life species that look down on him and take him for granted. How he is able to overcome it.

It's incredible also in the context of Dan Feng. How both struggle with their identities and how they get new ones, but in totally opposite ways. Dan Feng is weighted down by what he is and what he can do, and wants to escape that fate, and dreams of a new life in which he can be something else; and Dan Heng is born. Yingxing takes pride in that which he can do, something he wasn't born into, something he had to work very hard to achieve, and that was the path to overcome the prejudices and undermining gazes he had to bear as a short life species. He crafts his place into the Xianzhou society and becomes the legendary Furnace Master. Even on a more personal level, one could argue this is his way of maneuvering his life, of expressing himself, this is how he deals with things; like his relationship with Jing Yuan having a turning point after giving him his weapon, or how he crafted that jade flask. And then he loses his ability to create and loses himself; he becomes Blade.

The fact that even as an adult, as an exceedingly arrogant craftsman, something of the shy self-conscious kid remains is both endearing and heartbreaking as well. In some ways we still see that in Blade.

We also see echoes of that personality in Mr. Xiao, who worked under him. And that alongside his craftsmanship, his ability to fix and create auromatons even though they are vanishing in the civilian landscape, live on through Mr. Xiao. And die alongside him, for Mr. Xiao too has become but a relic of another time.

The way the other stories of craftsmen enhance facets of Yingxing's is so good too. Mainly in the story of Master Ryan and Chengjie, with the insight we get of the struggles of short life species in the Xianzhou, especially those dedicated to a craft, and how hard it is for them to reach positions of prestige. It also poses the question of how we can transcend time, if it's possible at all, and how the sharing of knowledge, the passing down of skills, the shared loved, is one of the answers. This was all already significant before, but the information gains weight with the existence of Mr. Xiao. I'd argue there's echoes of Yingxing even in Master Gongshu. His love for his automatons, his sincere fondness for them, his pride on his job, his loyalty to his position and duties, the way he is both hard and stern as well as loving with his apprentices, and how he talks about short life species.

On a sort of ontological way, it's very interesting to see how Yingxing goes from craftsman to tool or weapon, from creator to creation, from subject to object. The potential in the context of Abundance/Destruction is also extremely intriguing, I think. He who created is unmade by a curse of Abundance. He who forged weapons now follows that path of destruction. There's so much going on with Yingxing conceptually around the cycles of death and rebirth, destruction and creation; it's so fitting that now Blade is stuck in such a cycle in the most literal way.

And it's so fitting too that, in all this context, given Yingxing's entire story, Blade's entire being, that which he made unmade him. That which he created and gave him so much pride was the weapon that killed him. And now he wields it himself, his tool of revenge while he follows the path to eternal and irrevocable death.

#Yingxing #Blade #I talk too much #Fragments and scraps #sort of. I think I'll delete that tag when I save these ideas somewhere else #These are only some of the things I can't stop thinking about #Among other things I wondered what it must have been for Mr. Xiao to see his master's face everywhere around the Luofu #Fu Xuan makes a comment about not believing the short life species are necessarily less knowledgeable and that also said a lot I think #Due both to how she worded and the context. How it seemed to be another sign of her superior wisdom that she realises this #but how it's still an extended pov along the Xianzhou #The idea of being/becoming/losing oneself through and/or because of one's own skills and abilities is also applicable to Jing Yuan #I don't know. There's really so much to think about and dissect. It's so juicy #For real Yingxing is so good as a character. I didn't expect something so good and so well crafted #(and so in tune with all my favourite characteristics and stories. I've not talked #about the Orphic elements and the suicidal tendencies here‚ or the play on betrayals‚ but goodness) #I really wasn't expecting something as good and with so much potential (I am so afraid of them ruining the writing) #The way the worldbuilding and the little glimpses at everyday life of NPCs enhance every concept forming the character is amazing #I truly can't stop thinking of Yingxing/Blade in every facet he has. The very way we are told things is telling #I always say form is substance‚ and I mean it. Yingxing's and Blade's story is such a clear case of this #The fragmentary condition of the storytelling as well as the different levels of trust one can give to every fragment works magnificently #with Blade as a mara-struck person dealing with memory loss and the loss of the self #It also works well with Dan Heng and Jingliu going through something similar‚ with Jing Yuan being manipulative and deceptive and silent‚ #with Baiheng being dead. Ironically in my opinion it also works very well with how it seems to be hinted that both Dan Heng #and Blade may recall more than they let on or admit. I'm talking a lot and I should stop already but yes. I can't stop thinking about him #He's skyrocketed to the higher positions in the list of my all-time favourite characters in no time at all #Or at least his potential has. Goodness‚ I hope they don't ruin him... #Ugh I've talked way too much. I'm going to have to move the tags

[pomegranti]

Dirty little secret!

Ft: Gojo Satoru

Context: College AU, bully Gojo and quiet reader

Warnings!: Rough sex, quickie, creampies, hair pulling, dirty talk, blackmail, filming, spanking, mention of Geto lol, and no aftercare :(

Plot: Using reader for answers, bully Gojo ensures she’d never chicken out with some videos he has saved, but what happens when she has had enough?

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰

5:04 PM

Laughter erupting from your lips, currently sitting on a random bench in the campus’ courtyard with one of your closest friends as you two chatted and gossiped about some of your classmates. Teasing each other with small remarks, you couldn’t help but scoff once your friend mentioned the the most annoying man on planet earth, Gojo Satoru.

“That one guy…Gojo right? He’s always sleeping or just never there, he seems to linger around you a lot though, maybe he has a crush on you?” Your friend asked, clearly annoyed by the mention, you dramatically rolled your eyes before shrugging, trying your best to brush it off and change rhetoric topic “I dunno’ he’s as dumb as a rock, thank god the years almost over, or else I might-“ Words getting cut off by the sudden buzz of your phone from your pocket, pulling it out to see the notification. Speak of the devil, was almost like he heard you both talking about him. How annoying.

It was a message from the man himself, demanding you to come over to his dorm in the next 5 minutes for one of your ‘study sessions’ that you both have “Who’s that? Ooo~ don’t tell me! Y/N’s got a hot date?~” Your friend teases, wiggling her eyebrows as she tries to peer over your shoulder. “As if, don’t worry about it. I should get going anyways.” Puffing out her cheeks in disappointment at your blatant lie, your friend almost seemed sad upon this news, simply humming in response in a suspicious tone before giving your shoulder a playful hit. “It’s ok, see you tomorrow!”

Nodding in response, you placed your phone back into your pocket before dusting off your attire, waving goodbye as you both exchange words of departure; then walking off to the dormitory.

5:26 PM

Knocking on the door to Gojo’s dorm, you had finally arrived after the mediocre walk across the campus, having to drop off some of your textbooks on the way. Before you could even lift your finger to knock once more, the door had swung open, and you were yanked inside with a small yelp.

Before you stood a pouty Gojo, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. “I said 5 minutes, it took you over 20 to get here! Did you get lost or somethin’?” Rolling your eyes at his sassy behavior, you refused to give him an explanation, simply placing your things down before unbuttoning your top, ready to get it over with.“Whoah, someone’s cranky~ Already getting undressed? I thought I taught you better than to be such a stubborn brat” He taunted, mirroring your actions as he too, began to strip of his attire, pulling you onto the bed.

5:32

“Cmon~ don’t tell me you’re already tired, we just started! You had so much attitude before, where’d it all go? I hope you didn’t lose count or else we’ll have to start all over again~” knuckles turning white as you gripped the sheets, you were currently laying across his lap as he sat on the bed, chest flat against the silk sheets while he held onto your hips, large palms rubbing over the red marks he had made. Bottom lip trembling due to the stinging on your ass, you heard him chuckle a bit before delivering yet another harsh slap, the sound echoing throughout his dorm. “I asked you a question baby, what count are we on?” Already overwhelmed, tears bubbled in your eyes as you tried to wiggle away in a futile attempt to escape the pain, only for him to yank you back onto his lap. “I-I don’t….n-number 11 right?” You whimpered, voice barely audible as you trembled like a leaf.

Bracing yourself for another torturous slap, you paused for a moment once you were met with nothing, craning your head to the side only to be met with yet another stinging hit, amusement plastering itself onto his features. Gojo reached down to grab your hair, pulling your head up to catch a glimpse of your embarrassed face enjoying how quickly your demeanor crumbled from a small punishment. “Don’t get all shy now, you’re already crying? Seriously? Pffft- I gotta show Suguru this-“ Grabbing his phone that sat next to you on the bed, he pushed the device into your face as he took a series of photos, capturing the way your damp lashes fluttered and how your mascara ran down your face. “G-Gojo stop..no more please..” Ignoring your pleas, a small snicker left gojos lips while he sent the photos to his best friend, flipping you around so rather than laying across him, your chest was connected with the sheets as your ass remained on his lap in a doggy style position.

Amused by the sight, Gojo pulled down the hem of his boxers to finally release his aching shaft, lining his leaking head up with your entrance, his hands held a firm grip on your hips. “I’m feeling needy tonight, no need for foreplay right? You’re a slut so I bet it’ll slide right in anyways~” Before you even had a chance to respond, he pushed his shaft in with one swift motion of his hips, throwing his head back at the pleasurable sensation of your velvety walls pulsing around his cock, groaning softly in response. As for you, despite his teasing words, the feeling his dick penetrating you so fast without any foreplay was rather unexpected, stunned for a few moments until your poor mind had finally registered what had happened, a mixture of pain and pleasure being woven together while you helplessly clawed at the sheets, panting heavily to try and regain your composure.

Relishing the sight of you struggling to take his length, a smirk placed itself on Gojo’s face, your reaction clearly feeding his ego plenty, wanting you watch you crumble even further, he began to rock his hips, wasting no time until he began a ruthless pace, causing the sounds of skin slapping to echo throughout the room. Moaning loudly, your back bent into an arch and your toes curled, the lewd sounds of your cries and skin connecting undoubtedly being audible from the hallway for anyone else to hear. Just when you thought it was too much too soon, you regained your senses once you heard the familiar sound of a camera shutter behind you, followed by a small fit of laughter. Was he seriously taking photos of you like this?

“W-What are you doing? D-Did you seriously just take a photo!”

“Relax~ I need to gather more evidence to ensure you won’t leave, you wouldn’t want everyone seeing these photos of you, right?”

“That’s b-blackmail you jerk!”

“I think of it more as a business procedure~”

Snickering softly at his own words, you couldn’t believe him, blackmailing you in the middle of sex just for the thrill of it. However, little did you know, he wouldn’t dare share those photos even if he wanted to, probably with his best friend, but that’s it. Maybe he’d even jerk off to them later, it didn’t matter though, why do that when you were right here. His greedy blue eyes absorbed the way your ass bounced against his pelvis with each thrust, and mentally capturing the way your cries filled the room, watching you succumb to your pleasure had to be one of his favorite things to do. “It’s fine though, no one else can fuck you like I do right? Such a slut, always crawling back to me~” Feeling his tip graze against your most sensitive parts, you couldn’t help but tighten your walls as a particularly high pitched moan rolled off your tongue. “Y-You came to me about this, asshole!”

Cocking his head off to the side at your words, he put his phone down once more before grabbing the back of your neck, pulling you up so your back could be flushed against his chest, allowing his member to protrude you even deeper. “Such a brat, it’s okay though, I’ll make sure to tame this pussy of yours real good~” Hands trying to find leverage, your fingers dug into his forearm while you blinked up at him a few times, large hues staring into his before pouting your lips in response to his words. Taking this opportunity, his hand shifted to hold your throat tightly while your lips connected, your tongues interwinding with each other as his deep thrusts caused a small coil to begin to tighten within your stomach.

It was all too familiar, you’ve done this enough times to recognize your own release when it approached, trying to alert him with the way your walls tightened and movements turning rather sluggish. Releasing your lips from his, a thin strand of saliva dangled between the two of you, hazy eyes forced to look at him as his hand held your head up. Relishing the sight of how quickly you were dumbed down from his cock, his grip on your neck tightened to hold you in place, as if you were going anywhere in this state. His other hand moving down to rub your clit in circular motions, trying to bring you to your climax while his signature smirk remained prominent as he too felt his release inching closer, abs flexing as his shaft twitched each time he dragged it along your walls.

Crying out his name, you were unable to murmur anything else, the peak of your pleasure rapidly approaching as his head continuously grazed against a sensitive spot in particular, causing you to see stars. Mouth left agape, your walls clamped down as a clear fluid coated both the inside of your thighs, as well as the sheets beneath you both. Left in a temporary hazed out state, you whined pitifully once you began to feel overstimulated, continuing to fuck you dumb even after your release. “Already tapping out? Didn’t know my dick was that good- hah- fuck..” Groans growing louder, it didn’t take much longer until his release was approaching, giving one final thrust before white liquids spurted out, coating your inner walls white as he came inside. Removing his hand from your neck, he grabbed his phone once more, taking a photo of the way his cum dripped out of you while his hand that previously stimulated your clit was now parting your folds for a better view, pulling out his shaft with a low chuckle.

“Look at that, can’t wait to show Suguru this, you think he’ll be jealous?” Mumbling incoherent words in response, Gojo simply laughed before laying you back against his bed as he began to redress himself, fixing his white hair before placing his glasses back on, collecting his items before heading to the door. “I have stuff to do, I’ll be expecting my homework tomorrow, better hurry and leave too before my roommate sees you like this~”

Watching as he left, you sighed heavily, wiping the sweat from your forehead with an irritated expression. “Asshole..”

That was my first fic! I hope you liked it, it was pretty short but honestly I just wanted to get something out, don’t forget to leave requests down for more ❤︎︎

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo satoru #jujutsu gojo #gojo x reader #gojo smut #satorugojo #gojou satoru x you #satoru x y/n #jjk gojo

[kaylatoonz]

Movie Amy Rose casino night singer🎵🎙️

Context:

What if at some point after the third or fourth Amy rose is introduced as a performer at casino night zone.

So after the adventures of third film (please don’t make me wait that long for Amy🥲) sonic and co explore more off world to gain more allies (if they were to encounter new threats). Knuckles suggest returning to casino night (from the pre-quill comic), recalling that they may have powerful warriors there. While there they get a bit sidetracked (mostly sonic) but a Forming crowd catches the team's attention. They catch word that a popular singer is performing their last song in the casino tonight. The singer also happened to be a hedgehog sparking Sonic’s curiosity.

Not wanting to miss out meeting another hedgehog and a spectacular performance, sonic is quick to follow the crowd, dragging his brothers to witness the singer's final performance. Knuckles is the more reluctant of the brothers seeing that they were straying from their mission. Sonic counters that we can’t find powerful warriors if we stay in a near empty room, pointing out that nearly all the inhabitants of the building were heading to see the performance. Knuckles begrudgingly agrees but insists that they should at least look for Warriors among the crowd during or after the performance.

With some luck, and mostly their abilities, they get a front row view of the stage. When the show starts, the Bros can’t help but be awestruck, especially sonic. Sonic is absolutely in love with her voice, her moves and her spirit. He could just tell how adventurous she was based on her song, and how she danced so freely, he just had to meet her!

Surprising both Sonic and Tails, Knuckles didn’t need much convincing to go meet the pink hedgehog. Knuckles informed them that the performer may be a warrior in the making with how fiercely the singer danced. He vouches that she may be a great addition to the tribe and proceeds to lead the way sneaking backstage. Tails and Sonic don’t have the heart to correct him that it was just a performance. so they just opted to follow knuckles to keep him from getting into too much trouble for sneaking backstage.

Upon arrival the brothers catch an argument between Amy Rose and the big boss of casino night. They learn that the reason behind it being her last performance was due to her finally being able to pay off her debt To the boss. The boss insists that she stays regardless of her cleared debt because her final performance was their biggest score yet she can’t possibly leave now! Despite the heated argument, Amy, thanks the boss for the food, shelter, and the fun experience as a singer He has given her over the years. She turns him down one last time and wishes him luck in his business.

Not taking no for an answer, the boss called upon his goons to take her away to continue their “business discussion”. Sonic, not liking where this situation was going, nearly jumps in, but is stopped by Knuckles. Before sonic could argue Why his brother was stopping him from helping the hedgehog girl, one of goons is sent flying across the room, slamming into the wall away from their hiding spot. Both sonic and tails now wide eyed follow, knuckles’s approving look towards the corporate.

Their eyes landed on the pink hedgehog again only this time she was wielding a huge hammer, and she is extremely pissed. (If sonic didn’t have a crush on her before he definitely did now!)

Knuckles is impressed, while tails and sonic are completely shocked. The only one in the room that wasn’t surprised was the boss who seemed to be prepared. Playing dirty, he summons more goons to surround and apprehend the girl. Amy seems to be doing well for a bit, but as the fight draws on it proves to be too much for her. Realizing this knuckles gives the OK to aid the girl in battle, which Sonic didn’t need cause he was out there before the words left his elder brother’s mouth.

One fight (and flirting from Sonic’s part) later the bros introduce themselves and offer that she could join their tribe. Amy being charmed (mostly by sonic), and not having anywhere else to go, she happily accepts the offer.

Bonus context:

Left: Amy singing 🎵 could have been me

Top right: Amy falling even harder for sonic when she hears him sing (bad romance meme)

Bottom right: Sonic and Amy singing together 🎵tonight you belong to me

I think it would be cute if before Amy replaced her show dress anyone could tell if sonic was hanging out with her by checking for red glitter in his fur or quills. Tom and his brothers definitely would tease him about it.😭

#amy rose #sonamy #sonic movie 3 #movie amy rose #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie 2 #procreate #miles tails prower #knuckles the enchilada

[legacygirlingreen]

Christmas with the Sallow Family: Chapter 1 // Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Dusty Boots

By: LegacyGirlinGreen

Summary:

The Slythering trio make their way to feldcroft where Sebastian and the new student struggle with their growing affections and where it may lead…

Word Count: 6,000 +

Notes:

This is a continuation of another story, so to gain more context read part 1, titled “Becoming a Proper Gentleman” (linked below)

This work contains some kissing, along with mentions of sexually impure thoughts. Nothing beyond what teenagers are normally thinking but read at your disgression. Also, like the last part, it diverts from Canon, using the characters and situations as foundations. Very little use of y/n!

Chapter 1: Dusty Boots

Anne was waiting by the town’s communal Floo for them when they arrived. Immediately she jumped for his female companion, as in the few months, she had grown to adore the girl. It warmed Sebastian’s heart seeing his sister getting along with any girl - since Anne’s somewhat Tom boy nature was off putting to most of their female classmates - but seeing her with his girl meant the world. Anne even went as far as to threaten him when they were all there for Thanksgiving, warning if he screwed things up that she would help to hide his body herself. So much for twin love and support. He heard Anne comment about how the blue color of the best style corset really brought out the color of her eyes.

Ominis quickly cut in front of Sebastian, stealing his sister’s affection before he got the chance as he huffed in response. Didn’t these people know without him they wouldn’t even know her? Why was it that he seemed to be the last in line for her attention?

Eventually Anne stopped musing over how Ominis had seemingly developed a new mole on his right cheek and turned to her brother. “Sebastian! Your hair!” She called out, immediately reaching to playful tousle it. His twins slender fingers immediately brushed through the now short sides of his hair. Before she got too far he stopped her saying “oh shut it will you, its just a haircut Anne” trying to sound casual given the small crowd of their neighbors that had accumulated due to his sister’s loud shriek moments before. The small hamlet often worried for the girls health as everyone in Feldcroft was quite close.

Anne was one of the few people who knew it wasn’t that simple for him. He simply figured if she was going to talk about it, he would make her wait till the others had gone to bed. Anne soon found herself wrapped in her now much taller twin’s arms, his chin resting on the top of her head. She smelled the newer cologne he had taken to wearing as it mixed with the smell of the soap they always had at Hogwarts. Anne couldn’t help but smile as she caught a brief whiff of the girls perfume lingering on his frame, letting her know recently the girl had been wrapped in her brother’s arms. She was proud of him.

Removing herself, Anne pulled back to simply cup Sebastian’s cheek in her palm. “You look so much like Dad” she whispered out, a slightly sorrowful look in her eye paired with the small smile she was developing. It was bittersweet, but they both knew she meant it with only the kindest of intentions. As he aged, it wasn’t far fetched to imagine that he could take on the appearance of the deceased Sallow patriarch, but to assign that to himself felt odd.

Sebastian had wondered as his chubby cheeks and wide eyes of boyhood were slowly being shed as he developed into a man, where his father and mother remained. His own brown eyes and sly smile being the mark of his father, and unavoidable to not see the comparison when looking in a mirror. His unruly locks and his sea of freckles came from his mother. Beyond that Sebastian tried not to linger on how the shape of his nose or jaw were slowly changing as he grew into more and more an image of his departed dad. Hearing Ann confirm something he often wondered about made him stand up straighter.

Anne quickly walked away from him, and laced arms with the girl, before forcing them all over to the small home. In the back yard was a tent the 4 students to share over break. While Solomon didn’t exactly love the thoughts of his nephew and the new girl sleeping under the same roof, he hoped that his nephew would never dare attempt something inappropriate while his sister or Ominis were around. Plus if he had to hear their late night chatter like he had over Thanksgiving, he would pull his ears off.

As they placed their stuff inside the tent he stood beside Ominis who was intently listening in on the conversation between his flame and Anne as they joined forces to make the tent more livable for the next few weeks. Ominis laughed and the girls, seemingly unaware to him listening, continued on. “Anything interesting?” Sebastian questioned, curious about their conversation, and willing to use his friend’s impeccable hearing to gain insight.

“They are talking about how much older you look with short hair, along with what things it’s doing to our new friend,” Ominis told Sebastian with a chuckle.

Sebastian felt warmth behind his tanned cheeks and he pressed Ominis what that meant by asking, “What it’s doing to her?”

Ominis’s face maintained its amused expression as he explained what he overheard the girls whispering about: “apparently its making our fellow Slytherin weak in the knees since she wants to spend all day running her hands through it”. He emphasized the direct quotes with a dramatized voice.

Sebastian felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and the warmth in his face rush elsewhere. He couldn’t stop his post-pubescent brain from filling his mind with images of her actually on her knees in front of him. He immediately forced himself to think of the librarian of Hogwarts to prevent himself from developing difficult to hide signs of where his mind traveled. Quickly he recovered and responded to Ominis.

“It’s a shame you’re blind Ominis, I am sure if you had the ability to see you too would be weak in the knees” Sebastian quipped.

“I don’t need vision to know that despite a step in the right direction Sallow, my hair will remain impeccable while yours is merely suitable” he responded with a laugh.

“Oh you wound me Gaunt. It’s not my fault the ladies find me irresistible.” Sebastian was happy to have moments like this with his friend, especially since as of late they had been few and far between. That sentiment was short lived however, as Ominis caught him off guard with his reply.

“Ah yes, and am I supposed to ignore which of us got up for a cold shower before anyone was awake this morning”

Sebastian hated how on the nose his friend’s perception was. He truly had no response to give the blond boy. He sheepishly ran a hand up the back of his neck. He felt ashamed, worried that his attempts at being proper squandered in the eyes of his fellow Slytherin and oldest friend.

Ominis laughed at his friend’s discomfort. When he realized Sebastian hadn’t responded Ominis was worried he may have offended his friend, deciding to put a reassuring hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, eager to shift the conversation to a much lighter place. “You may be aware I know very little of what our friend looks like, but given the whispers I hear about the castle, I can imagine whatever… feelings you may be having to be quite natural…”

Sebastian appreciated his friends acceptance of his less than savory thoughts that the blind boy seems to have noticed recently. It wasn’t as if he purposefully dwelled on them either, they just came and went on occasion. Maybe it was the hormones which he had no control over, or a deepening of feelings leading to a place he couldn’t quite understand, but he found his free time now consumed almost entirely of thoughts of her.

Some of them normal, such as simply wandering the halls, attending classes or getting butter beer. Times when they would laugh and mock one another all in good fun. Others were more personal, like their time spend in the vivarium when she would carefully ruffle his hair or he would trace unconscious patterns on the back of her hand as they read in silence. Those precious moments were they both felt entirely comfortable with each other, that gave him hopes of coming home to a peaceful house where they could both enjoy evenings snuggled up together in front of the fire. And while a majority of his thoughts lended towards those avenues, the rest were… less than proper. As time went on, their pecks tended to linger. They shifted into places like his earlobe or the nape of her neck - a spot he found entirely on accident laying in their meadow against a tree one afternoon.

He was sitting upright with his back against the tree, her coming to rest in front of him. As she pointed to something in the book she’d been skimming, he moved the hair off her should to avoid getting a mouthful, as she often would bob her head a lot when excited. Only then did Sebastian find himself staring directly at the delicate nape of her neck, unable to stop himself from placing a small kiss to the soft skin. She had let out a quiet sound, somewhat akin to a moan and a gasp at the contact. From that moment on he found his trousers slightly tighter at the thought of hearing her make that sound again…

The brunette let his eyes wander to where y/n was helping Anne make one of their beds in the corner. He sighed before returning his attention to his oldest friend. “She’s stunning Ominis. Truly.”

Sebastian had never once for a moment pitied the boy’s inability to see, yet for once he did feel sorry the boy would never know how beautiful the girl he cared for so deeply was both inside and out.

He knew Ominis would never be able to appreciate the way she moved with grace, or how her smile could knock a man out. Ominis couldn’t help but notice the shift in Sebastian’s tone. Immediately he had noticed the semi small lump that developed as the boy’s voice trailed off like a man in the desert, desperate for water. Ominis had never experienced real love in his life. His parents, along with majority of his family, were in arranged marriages to keep the bloodlines pure. He never got a chance to meet Sebastian’s parent, and the Twin’s uncle had never attempted to be wed. Most of the professors at Hogwarts kept their personal lives hidden from the students. Despite this he had become very familiar with the words of poets, describing such feelings. Much like Anne, Ominis was happy Sebastian seemed to have finally met his match in the new 5th year…

Describe her to me.

Sebastian almost hadn’t heard Ominis’s reply as he’d been too busy watching her and his sister again. When his gaze shifted back towards the boy he had grown up with, he tried to ponder how exactly to describe the girl without Ominis’s ability to see. He stepped closer, almost embarrassed if the girls were to overhear, as he slowly began to give his sightless friend a picture of the girl he had fallen for.

“She has the most amazing eyes you have ever seen. There’s always a million emotions just brimming under their surface. When I first met her that day in the common room at the start of term I watched them closely. Interest, Confusion, Ambition, Mischief, Eagerness, Excitement, Worry, Attraction… they were all right there. And her eyes are so big, full of wonder for all these things we take for granted. It’s truly amazing to see someone whose eyes are so expressive. I love getting to show her things we have already learned of or know of, since she comes at those things with new eyes full of amazement.

She gets this crinkle in her nose often. Right across the bridge of her nose, but whenever she laughs, quirks an eyebrow, is disgusted, its there and it is cuter than a baby puffskin.

You really should watch her twist her her into one of the elaborate braids she usually sports. They are truly incredible, and her fingers move so effortlessly out of muscle memory. Yet, as brilliant as they are, simply seeing those beautiful locks of hair sweeping across her shoulders is enough to knock the wind out of you. Like a nymph from the forest or a siren of the seas.

I love watching her duel. Her body moves with the grace of a dancer, I half wonder if she had been one before coming to hogwarts because there is no way one can move that way and not have spent time practicing dance. She is fearsome, and elegant and powerful in ever way you can imagine. Her face remains calm yet determined. Her strikes calculated yet seem without effort.

Still, my favorite thing about her, are her hands. They are small, and over the course of the year have become a tad more calloused from holding a wand or flying with Imelda but they hold a delicacy despite the power they contain. She has a few scars scattered along her hands. Her fingers are so nimble and ever time I get the chance to hold them in my own, I… “

Sebastian heard a small intake of breath. His gaze shifted away from describing her to Ominis, eyes locking with the girl as he felt the need to continue his words with confidence for her to hear. “I feel as if everything in the world is falling into place.”

For a brief moment Ominis and Anne were no were to be seen or heard. It was just the two of them in the world. She took a few steps towards him and he found his feet dragging him to meet her in the middle. He immediately brought her hands into his own, fingers intertwined.

Sebastian leaned down, brushing a loose strand of her hair out of her face, and for a moment she was worried he was going to kiss her in front of their friend and his sister. Instead he whispered in her ear “You are slowly becoming my favorite thing in this world”.

unable to speak, she had just moments before been so preoccupied with his sister and catching up, and now she felt as if all the air had left her lungs. She simply squeezed his warm hand with her own, running her thumb across the back of it as she tried to make the words she had screaming in her head leave her mouth.

Just as she attempted to make her reply known, Solomon called out for Anne to come back inside. She took a slight step back from Sebastian, releasing his hand. Ominis had held out an arm towards Anne as they left the tent with hast and Sebastian held his out for her. He felt more of the warmth from her fingers wrapping around his upper arm, as his lack of a thick wool suit provided closer contact between her fingers and his bicep.

The four teens migrated back to the front yard and towards the cottage. Just before entering he felt her stall for a brief moment. Her hand lifted to help tuck his forelock back in place, before they stepped through the open door behind Ominis and Anne.

“Thank you as always Mr. Sallow for allowing me to stay in your family home.” Sebastian heard Ominis say to his uncle. Ominis was always good at minding his manners despite not particularly loving the twin’s guardian. It most likely stemmed from growing up in the Gaunt household, with their higher class and reputation in the wizarding world necessary to maintain. Ominis himself had often found it hard to ditch the lessons he had from their families strict educators.

“Of course Gaunt, there’s always a place in this home for those who have need for it, speaking of which…” Solomon trailed off looking for the girl and Sebastian as his eyes landed on the pair. He couldn’t help but notice how comfortable they had slowly acclimated to his nephew properly escorting her around. He wasn’t a fool, nor was he oblivious to the way their fingers brushed together under his dining table, or how they both let their eyes linger on each other. Yet, despite his qualms with his extremely hot-headed nephew, it was a comforting thought that some day, perhaps not too far away, he would have someone kind and gentle to come home to every night.

Solomon had half expected Sebastian to completely ignore his demand to tame his ridiculous hair, however he was pleasantly surprised as his eyes landed on a groomed and much more mature looking young man. Not only was his hair actually kept, Sebastian actually seemed okay with the change, not slumping or sulking as he had figured.

“Ah, I have to hand it to you, the way you are shaping my nephew into a fine young man is incredible to say the least.” Solomon said to her as he now stood directly in front of the pair. Sebastian briefly felt anger surge through him, as if he wasn’t capable of learning how to be a gentleman without help. He suddenly calmed as he felt her thumb softly stroke the inside of his bicep as she responded to his Uncle.

“Actually Mr. Sallow, I believe Sebastian to have been doing a fine job of that himself. He has received no additional encouragement from myself. If you are to be proud of anyone, it should be him alone. I know that I am proud to stand at his side.”

Sebastian stood up straighter at her words. He felt confidence shoot through his veins at her confirmation that he, a growing young man and proper gentlemen was both recognized and respected in her eyes. She was willing to stand in front of his uncle and defend his honor in such a way. That meant everything to him.

Solomon turned his attention from the young woman to his nephew, taking in the stark contrast from the boy he’d sent to Hogwarts in September to the young man who stood here now. It was incredible how a few months could change so much. Mr. Sallow awkwardly coughed, realizing he was in the wrong.

“I suppose you are right lass. Sebastian…” he trailed off as he found himself no longer looking down at the boy, instead staring directly into his eyes. So much like his father, especially his brown eyes. “I am pleased with the changes I have seen thus far. You are making your father proud boy”. Solomon held out a hand towards Sebastian and he gripped it with all the unspoken words from the last few years.

Sebastian could never have imagined that his Uncle would mutter such kind words to him, especially in regards to how much he had grown up. And while it meant so much to feel as if the years of being at each other’s throats was slowly coming to a close, he wanted out of a situation with 3 sets of eyes on them. He refused to show emotion in front of them, for fear the words his uncle said would be quickly revoked.

“Sebastian you should show her around the town since she still has yet to meet everyone” Anne called from across the room breaking the tension. He simply nodded, half dragging, half walking the girl out of the house as quickly as possible. He refused to make eye contact with any of them as he did so.

As soon as they made it outside he felt the air slowly returning to his lungs. “Sometimes he can be a right foul git you know that?” He said, turning his attention towards the girl. She nodded, rubbing her hand up and down his arm comfortingly.

“At the end of the day, while I am not sure I truly want his respect, its comforting to know I have it I guess.” Sebastian looked at their shoes. His worn boots would soon need to be cleaned, re-polished and waxed. Her tan boots were laced up all the way to her knees next to his.

“We don’t have to dwell on your Uncle, lets just try and enjoy the afternoon.” Her voice spoke calmly and reassuringly. He found himself nodding at her words, deciding he shouldn’t let it ruin his time. He was curious of one thing however…

“Did you mean it?” He asked her, his hand coming to meet where hers was resting on his upper arm.

“Mean what?” She asked, confused what he had been referring to.

“The part about being proud to stand at my side?” He asked, bringing her fingers to thread in his own as his brown eyes met hers.

“There is not another person in the world who I would rather stand beside.” She said, her words confident. Her eyes not breaking from his.

“Then I shall remain beside you until the day you no longer wish to have me.” He said, unsure how much she would read into the depth of his words.

“I fear that day may never come” she whispered out, eyes still locked on his.

“Then so be it.” He said, leaning in and allowing his lips to ghost over her cheek. He allowed them to linger, far longer than he should have, as every voice in his head was screaming to move over slightly to the left, and allow himself the indulgence of claiming her mouth with his. He did restrain himself, deciding that he wanted that moment to be completely on his terms, special, and not to mention private.

He pulled back slightly, resting his forehead along the top of her head, inhaling her lightly floral scent. “I thought you were going to show me the rest of the hamlet” She asked quietly.

“Show you the village? You mean show you off to the village.” He said cheekily.

“Ah yes, every little girls dream… to be carted around like a prize show horse to see. How romantic Sebastian.” She may have retorted with sarcasm and an eye roll but the smile on her face was evident she held no issue with his words

“Show horse? I was imagining more like a calf or…” She didn’t allow him to finish the words before she smacked his arm playfully.

“Oh you’re going to regret that Sallow.” She said with mild irritation in her voice.

“How so?” He asked with a laugh at her feigning annoyance. She hadn’t thought that far ahead…

“Mhm, see I knew you couldn’t be truly mad at me. I apologize for likening you to farm animals my dear.” He responded at her lack of an answer.

“Oh sure, its easy to apologize when threatened…” she grumped out.

Sebastian couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at her grumpy mood. He moved her back into the crux of his elbow holding his head high as he told her “You make it so easy to get under your skin Darling…” His eyes stared straight into hers, almost eating the girl alive.

The way his voice trailed off might’ve been concerning but she brushed it off. They had slowly been developing more moments of quips that turned into desire. While the thought of it should’ve deeply troubled her, she found very little ability to worry where those feelings may lead. Perhaps it was the semi-urgency she felt as her world became more and more dangerous daily, or seeing his sister withering away driving them both into adulthood at a rapidly alarming rate. However, she refused to allow the young man to get a rise out of her in the open field. Especially given her inability to draw the line at what he considered playful and what was his manhood slowly become untamed…

“Moo” she found herself letting out the animal noise. Immediately his loud laugh echoed through the air. He pulled her tighter into his side as his head was thrown back at her antics.

“Ah, my little Heifer…” He choked out somewhere between his laughing fits. She couldn’t help but crack a smile at a very rare genuine laugh coming from the boy.

“You are to never call me that ever again, is that understood”.

Sebastian pulled her back to his side as he slowly started taking steps away from his home, “Oh but come on, you have to admit it would be such a unique pet name”.

She immediately shook her head in horror of the thought he would lovingly call her a sexually mature cow with endearment.

“Well if not Heifer, what should I call you?” He asked her as they started the loop through Feldcroft.

“Ask me again some other time, and for now keep anything with 4 legs out of contention” she retorted.

“So that leaves those with 8 in the running I see. How about my little arachnid” She laughed at his antics as they began approaching some of his neighbors as her words continued to rage in his head.

I fear that day may never come.

_________________________________________

“No, no that’s not at all what happened…” Sebastian let out with a groan of frustration. His sister and his friend had seemingly made it their lives goal to embarrass him in front of his companion and he was beginning to grow tired of their antics. He abruptly moved from the fire in the center of the tent, walking into the side room him and Ominis were to share.

“I fear we have embarrassed my poor brother” Anne said with a joint laugh between herself and Ominis. The afternoon had come and gone, with the boys helping Solomon outside for most of the day as the girls stayed in and cooked. Dinner came and went fairly uneventful before Solomon shooed the teens out of the house as their loud conversations were beginning to cause him grief. As they had settled in by the small fire in the center, Anne and Ominis quickly ganged up on him by sharing his less than proud moments with the girl he was growing to hold dear.

At first she was amused at learning memories the trio had shared. However, as time went on she began to notice from across the flames as his face into annoyance. When he left abruptly it concerned her. She turned towards Anne and simply muttered “I shall be right back, I am going to check on him”.

“My brother tends to get hotheaded from time to time, I am sure he is fine” Anne told the girl but she shook her head as if to say please allow us privacy. Anne did not say a word, nor did Ominis as the girl followed the direction Sebastian had gone. While Solomon had assumed Sebastian’s sister and friend would keep complete eyes on the young couple, he failed to realize they too were teenagers who would also enjoy a moment alone…

When she lifted the small flap that separated the side room from the main room she wasn’t expecting to see Sebastian laying on his back on the bed she had made that morning. His eyes were trained to the ceiling.

“You know your boots are going to make a mess of the bed I made” she said, coming to stand at the bedside.

He shrugged as his comfort in the position made him not want to remove the dirt covered shoes. As much as she wanted nothing more than to lay next to him, she worried with the close proximity of his sister, their friend, and even his uncle it to be unwise. The pair had never both laid next to each other before, only one at a time laying as the other kept distance.

She opted to move towards the foot of the bed, taking a seat next to his feet. She noted how his eyes had followed her as she moved. His eyebrow quirked as if to ask what she was doing. She decided to not reply as she slowly began to unlace the boot closest to her. He watched as her nibble fingers made quick work of the laces. She quickly repeated the process on his other shoe. Before he could object she was pulling them off of his feet. Sebastian was genuinely concerned at how bad they may have smelled given how much time he had spent outside today. If they did, she surely didn’t say anything.

He was expecting that to be the end of her motivation. The dirty shoes were off the bed after all. She didn’t say anything as she held on in her lap, reaching inside the never ending pouch she kept attached to her hip. She produced a small stiff brush and began slowly removing the dirt from the toe of his boot. Sebastian sat up and went to reach for his worn leather soles, “hey, you don’t have to do that” he said to her, still attempting to grab them out of her hands.

She shook her head at him, eyes trained on the worn soles of his boots to avoid looking at him. She continued to work at scuffing them out. She truly shouldn’t have followed him into a private area and begun undressing him. While she was deeply concerned he would read into the action, she found she wasn’t regretting it.

“That’s not your job Sweetheart.” Sebastian fully pushed his weight to the end of the bed, his long legs draping off the edges as his feet came to touch the floor. Now that he was beside her, his thigh pressed into hers. He set his hand on top of hers, to stop her actions.

“I really don’t mind dear… I” her words trailed off as Sebastian stroked his thumb against hers. She couldn’t stop the way her fingers slowly started to shake.

“You’re trembling” he said it so matter of factly despite his words coming out as a whisper.

“It would appear that I am” she said, hoping if she owned up to it, she could blame it on the cold and he would drop the issue.

“You know I would never do anything to hurt you.” He said with a drop in his voice. Shesaw his eyes trained on the floor.

“Of course I know that.” She said, upset he would think otherwise.

“I would also never intentionally do anything to rob your honor.” He said finally lifting his eyes to meet hers. Her breath faltered at his candor.

“I… I know that Sebastian. I trust you, fully.” As she emphasized the last work his fingers curled into hers.

“I will admit, it is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain my propriety when I am around you…” his words trailed off as her eyes bore into his own. He tried to force his away. Sebastian slowly felt the voice of self control to be melting away as her y/e/c orbs stared back at him.

“I fear that I may do something improper. You put your trust in me, and I worry that may lead me to a place that disgraces your virtue.” Sebastian found himself being honest with her. While the admission may have been completely forward, he knew ultimately he could trust her. The feelings he had were slowly becoming too strong to bear.

“I fear that I may wish for you to do so” she whispered out. She had been terrified as his admissions were leading to a swelling in the pits of her stomach. She should have had more tact in her words, but the hovering feeling in the air, and his hand on hers, was making it difficult to think straight.

Sebastian blinked rapidly at her admission of also having impure thoughts towards him. The tremors in her fingers seem to spread throughout her body, as his thigh felt hers slowly shaking against him. While he knew they should both be terrified at her admission, they were already crossing boundaries. What more harm could it do to remind her the implications of what she spoke “And if I were to do as such, you would be forced to remain with me.”

“I see no fault in that fact.” She truly needed to stop talking. They were still at least a year away from being done with school. To discuss such matters without her father present were more than likely shameful, but she couldn’t stop the admission.

“If that were to happen, where would that lead you missy?” Sebastian felt himself leaning into the girl. His face was so close to hers that he could see the way the sun had left small freckles on the skin below her eyes. He could count the long eyelashes framing her eyes. He could feel her slow outtake of breath on his face. He could see the way her lips had parted before he quickly drug his eyes back up to hers. She noticed where his gaze had slipped. He lifted his hand to her chin, holding her there anxiously awaiting her reply.

It would lead me to a long and joyful life as Mrs. Sebastian Sallow...

His mouth was immediately on hers. Sebastian had occasionally wondered what it would feel like to have another’s mouth on his own. As her rose petal lips made contact with his, he realized what he had been missing out on. The soft pull of her mouth on his, providing such a lovely sensation. While she kept her mouth mostly closed, he still enjoyed the way her lips were creating the slightest amount of suction on his own. It was like all the missing parts were coming together and for the first time in his life he felt whole.

She felt her body react in shock as he had claimed her lips, but it didn’t take long for that power in her body that knew what was happening to take over. She allowed him to pull her closer to him with an arm he had snaked around her small waist. Her own hands coming up to hold him closer: one landing on his chest and the other at the nape of his neck. She quickly tangled her hands in his short hair, running her fingernails over his scalp. Sebastian was unable to stop the slight groan that left his lips and went straight into her mouth at the contact.

While he had initially allowed their first kiss to be rushed by soft, he was slowly gaining a momentum. The hunger in his stomach only grew with ever pass of his lips on hers. He pulled back, only for a moment to see her slowly gaze at him with hooded eyes. Her lips were parted from his own ministrations and he couldn’t help but notice the way her cheeks were dusted pink. She looked absolutely adorable with her mind seemingly far way and only her mild dishevel appearance looking back at him. Then her words came rushing back to him. Mrs. Sebastian Sallow. He pulled her back in with ferocity.

He wasn’t sure why he allowed himself to be dominated by the thoughts of her carrying his name. While he understood that courtship led to engagement, with engagement leading to marriage, he hadn’t truly seen the progression as a real thing until this moment. In his head it always was far away, a future endeavor, yet right now that forever was starting to feel closer. He wanted it. He wanted her.

She slowly pulled back from him, noting the devilish grin growing on his slightly swollen lips. Her one hand were still tangled in his hair while he lifted one of his own to claim the one she had situated on his chest. He lifted it, placing a kiss on her ring finger before holding it close to him. Sebastian was slowly relaxing as her nails scratched his head. He felt lightheaded at how wonderful it felt to hold her close, to have kissed her, to imagine a future where he could place a ring on her hand.

Sebastian sighed before saying “I think I know what you mean about what my hair has to offer now” with a soft laugh.

She allowed him a slight stifled laugh at the remembrance of her late night confession. “This is along the lines of what I was referring to, however, not exactly what I meant”

“What more could you do?” He asked leaning back in, ready to continue their time together. She brought her open hand, threading her fingers in his hair before carefully tightening a fist as she pulled his hair. Sebastian let out an almost feral groan and instantly became aware of how tight his pants were becoming. He shifted back from her, his hand reaching around his neck to where she had just pulled his brown locks in such a manor.

“Where… where did you learn that?” He asked her, quite unsure how the inexperienced girl knew how to immediately turn him into a mess.

“The restricted section has, other material you know…” her voice trailing off suggestively.

He pulled her back to his side, hand holding her cheek before leaning his forehead against y/n’s. “You, my darling, are a minx”

“Don’t act like you don’t love it Sallow” she said rolling her eyes, not moving against him.

“Oh I most certainly do”. He said it with such conviction it made her nerves swell.

”They are being awfully quite in there…” she trailed off remembering Anne and Ominis had been left in the main area. Sebastian laughed at her recognition.

“I imagine they have found themselves in a quite similar situation.” He said with a chuckle.

She gasped before saying “Anne… and Ominis? They?” Looking at the flap almost ready to barge in on the pair.

”It’s a fairly recent development I believe, but I have my suspicions.” He had a feeling about it around Thanksgiving when he caught Ominis pressing a slight kiss to the side of Anne’s face as they were heading back to school. When he inquired however, Ominis was quick to deny everything.

“I can’t believe it. Right under our noses” She said still sounding dumbfounded.

“Well, they aren’t nearly as far along as the two of us, I know that.” He said, fingers tangling back with hers as he drug her closer again.

“And how do you know that?” She asked him, eyebrow quirking, unaware of his intention for pulling her close.

”Because I am not afraid to admit or act on my feelings for you” Sebastian whispered before he pulled her mouth back to his.

To Be Continued…

Notes:

Thank you again for reading! I did not spend as much time double checking the editing but I wanted to get it out for those who were interested. If there’s any grammatical mistakes I apologize and I will get on them shortly! See you in the next chapter and as always feel free to leave suggestions!

#sebastian x reader #sebastian sallow x slytherin!reader #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow/reader #ominis gaunt #anne sallow #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanfic #fluff #harry potter

[agir1ukn0w]

Oh but polins are allowed to say that Simone is manly with a large jaw and that she’s the ugliest actor on set. Or how Because jonny is gay that means he shouldn’t have been promoted. A polin said, and I quote “Jonny should have stayed in the closet if you wanted your faves to get promotion”

Odd how you see the “hate” against polins, which the legitimate hate does get called out, but you like everyone else don’t see the vulgar bigoted hate against Kanthony.

On every social media platform, there are a group of polins making over 50 accounts (yes, we counted) to body shame and defame Simone. They’re everywhere, calling her a whore and that she “flaunts her body”, that she’s a diva who abuses her crew on set (this one was even featured on deuxmoi)

As for characters; polins have been attacking kate and anthony since the start and to this day. My favourite is when they said that kate sharma is a grooming and manipulative abuser.

Educate yourself on contexts of situations before you end up throwing the ship you like, your fellow fans, and the actors under the bus. You’re victimising a fandom full of racists and homophobes

First of all, I NEVER said anything about the kanthony fandom/Simone and Jonny NOT having to deal with plenty of bs bigotry, racism, colorism, sexism, and homophobia!! That’s not what my post was about and if you’d actually read closely you’d notice that I said, MULTIPLE TIMES, I wasn’t accusing ALL kanthony shippers of being rude towards polin shippers/Nicola and Luke. I was very careful to differentiate there.

As far as I can see at this point, it seems very clear to me that BOTH polin shippers AND kanthony shippers have a history of attacking and being attacked by each other. I can’t speak to how much one is more than the other because I haven’t been part of this fandom for very long and I don’t look deep into metrics like that. I was simply responding to another person’s post where they called out a few kanthony shippers, and BECAUSE I LOVE KANTHONY I wanted to send a message to my community because I know that we as a whole are better than that. Perhaps I could have worded it better (I was going for humor, sorry if that fell flat), but I wasn’t trying to throw the whole group “under the bus”. I think the entire Bridgerton fandom is due for a wake up call and needs to stop fighting each other over things that are supposed to make us all feel happy and seen.

Lastly, you don’t know anything about what I do or don’t “see” in this fandom, aside from what I’ve just told you. Of course I’m aware of the racism and homophobia and sexism and all of that!! Maybe you shouldn’t assume you know everything about a person either before you accuse me of being deliberately ignorant.

#as an og reylo i’m honestly insulted you think i don’t know what it’s like to be relentlessly attacked by an entire fandom over my ship #bridgerton #polin bridgerton #bridgerton series #bridgerton netflix #anthony bridgerton #kate bridgerton #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton season three #penelope bridgerton #polin #polin week #penelope featherington #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #penelope x colin #kanthony #kathony #kate #kate x anthony #kate sharma #kate and anthony #anthony x kate #nicola coughlan #luke newton #jonathan bailey #simone ashley

[xwing-baby]

Truth (Duke Leto Atreides x f!Reader)

you were sent to kill his son, the duke makes sure you know your place

18+ smut (dark violence, torture, injury to reader (burn), unprotected p in v sex, allusions to past abuse, angry hate sex)

context for movie people: Feyd-Rautha is Baron Harkonnen's other nephew, insane mf- can't wait too see him in part two

word count: 5.5k

Paul Atreides was pleasant enough. He was handsome or, rather would become handsome within a few years. Of course, you were here to stop that. You watched him talk, words flying over your head as the men spoke around you. He was pleasant, not the threat presented to you by your uncle. You supposed that was half the reason he was such a threat; you would never see it coming. These Atreides were not like Harkonnens, brutish and brash; these men were eagle-eyed and sharp. Paul carried the air of a man with life behind him for someone so young. He spoke like a Duke; regality shone through his bright eyes. 

You were attending a dinner with the Atreides on behalf of your father, currently indisposed due to a tragic accident. That was the lie you had told the witch Jessica, which she had naively believed. The decoy spy had been placed and was quickly spotted by the witch and the Duke alike. Neither seemed to suspect you were anything but a loyal messenger for your father, the spice miner. 

While the witch believed you, you did not know about the Duke. He had watched you intently throughout the dinner; his sharp features and deep eyes had you transfixed. You had heard rumours about the man, hearing his cousin, your Baron, rant and rave about him through the walls of Harko palace. Maybe it was your inherited hatred for the man, but you could not look away from him. His attentions, though silent, made you both meeker and bolder. You were distracted by him but simultaneously more eager. Maybe to impress him. Show the Duke what you could do to his only heir, how you could best his nonexistent expectations of you.

Paul left while the drinks were being handed out after dinner. So not to cause suspicion, you continued the laborious conversation with the water-shipper before finally excusing yourself. You did not miss the watchful eye of Lady Jessica as you slipped from the room, stopping once to ask for the bathroom from a servant to give yourself an alibi if you were to fail. After all, it was so easy to get lost in a place like this. 

The servant directed you left. You walked around the corner before turning down another corridor to your desired location. This was not your first night in this place, and if your information had been correct, your target’s room was where your cousin Feyd had stayed when visiting the residency.

The building was more of a labyrinth than you had recalled. The memory of the last time you had stayed flashed before your eyes. Running, screaming, through these very halls. You were fairly sure if you looked close enough at the walls you passed, the trail of your own blood would still cling to the cracks in the cold stone.

“Miss, I fear you are lost,” A rumbling voice broke from the shadows. You stopped halfway up a small flight of stairs and watched a tall, muscular man approach from the crossing wall. You recognised him as Halleck, the soldier who sang at dinner. You smiled and feigned stupidity, widening your eyes in surprise.

“Oh really? It’s so hard to tell where you are in this place. Everything looks the same,” you laughed. Halleck’s hardened demeanour softened a little.

“You’re looking for the restroom?” He asked. You nodded, “You have gone too far; it’s just behind those pillars there,”

“Ah, thank you,” You stood still, a pleasant smile on your face hoping he would leave you.

“I shall take you there. This place is like a maze to those unaccustomed,”

“That would be wonderful, thank you,” You smiled. Halleck gestured forward politely.

“After you,”

You sighed, not yet defeated. You had noted three weapons concealed on the soldier’s person and the shield and comms he wore in his ear. You could overpower him but would risk exposing yourself or getting yourself killed. There were too many soldiers around to even attempt attacking him. You would have to resign yourself to a second try.

You walked down more stairs, more corridors, left and right. This was much further into the residence than you had ever been in your brief time here a few years ago.

“This is not the way to the bathroom,” you said,

“You know this place well, my lady?” He asked, a surprised twitch of his eyebrows told you, you had given far too much away with such a small statement.

“No, I’ve never been here before of course,” You recovered yourself, “I do not recognise this sculpture is all, I did not pass it my way,”

“I know my way do not worry,” He smiled

You shook it off. Back to the task at hand. You still had to shake the soldier and get to the boy.

Finally, you came to a stop, Halleck opened a large dark door, opening a small room. A fireplace too over the furthest wall, lit it and made the room glow orange. Danger. You stepped inside but immediately turned when the soldier did not follow.

“Wait here,” He ordered.

“Sir, I was not lying when I said I needed the bathroom,”

“Sit,” His tone became harsh. You sat in one of the two suspensor chairs, not easily intimidated but the hatred in the man’s eyes gave away his hand- a hand you did not want to feel the wrath of any time soon. Luckily, this meeting was not between him and you as he swiftly left the room.

You sat in the chair and surveyed the room. Large bookcases circled the room, dwarfed by the high ceilings, they looked entirely out of place. Delicate carvings etched stories of men through the wood, such intricacy you had never seen. The carving was a match to that of the wooden desk in front of you. A scroll, pens and a wax pot sat on the wooden top, protected only by a piece of navy fabric. The Atreides emblem was sewn into the fabric with gold thread. A large chair sat behind the table, the shadow of an H stained the back, quickly pulled off with the new occupation. A new determinism set into you, that stain reminding you of why you were here.

You stood up and walked around the bookcases for a secret door. The Baron was known for them, in a place like this with the terrible company he kept an escape was always necessary. Some called him a coward, you called it intelligence. You ran your hand under the shelves, searching for a break.

“Miss L/n,” The voice of the Duke startled you, expecting the soldier.

“I was admiring your books,” You explained casually, turning around to face him. Carefully you walked around the grand table, as the Duke did the same until you came to opposite sides.

“Have a seat,” he offered, gesturing to the two chairs which sat in front of the desk. You smiled and sat, unsure of the meaning of the meeting but certain this happy facade would get you out of it.

“Thank you again for such a pleasant dinner,” You complemented, remaining standing behind the two chairs. The Duke stood in front of his chair, his arms behind his back.

“I hear you got lost,” The Duke said, wasting no time.

“Yes. This place is like a maze, it is a wonder anyone can find their way,” You giggled, hoping a girlish innocent front would get you out of the room and his suspicious quickly.

“Odd seeing as you grew up here,”

“I fear you’ve been given false information sir I have been here but a handful of times. I was younger then yes but I did not live here,” You explained. It was true, you hadn’t been here for years. The Duke hummed in agreement, not believing you in the slightest.

“The one thing I expect from my people is honesty,” He spoke carefully and sternly. My people. The phrase curdled in your mind, and you frowned.

“I am not your people,”

“No?” The Duke asked, shocked by your sudden defiance, “Arrakis was given to me by the emperor, this is my fief, my land, my people,” You scowled but said nothing. “Do you think me an idiot Miss Y/n? That I do not know your intentions with my son?”

“I have no intentions with your son,” You spoke truthfully again.

“Lie to me again and there will be consequences,” Duke Leto’s face became like a stone with the threat.

“I tell no lie. The question you should be asking is what your son’s intentions are with me? He asked me to follow him to his room, you should have heard the things he said to me,” You purred, fighting back a smile as the Duke curled his lip.

“My son-“

“Your son is not a child, as you said yourself,” You interrupted, watching as he walked around the desk to you. You couldn’t stop the smug smile on your lips now, you’d got under his skin, “You remember being his age, don’t you?”

The young Duke was renowned for his escapades with many women, and his prowess with still spoken about by the women of Caladan and throughout the Court of the Emperor. It was why he hadn’t married his whore, you assumed.

“I know Paul well enough to know that he would have better judgement,” His comment was intended to insult, but you smiled wickedly turning it back on him.

“Better judgement than you?” You had spent enough time with powerful men to know how they worked. They could say they were righteous and true but it always came down to sex. Anger and lust are neighbouring emotions, men always seem to struggle to tell them apart. This man was no different.

“Tell me your true objective here,” He advanced on you a few steps, and you stepped back an equal amount.

“You know why I am here,” You smirked, all too happy to taunt him.

“I wish to hear it from your mouth,” He said, you pursed your lips and said nothing else, “Speak,”

“If I don’t?”

“I have ways of getting you to talk,” He advanced again, you stepped back until your hips hit the bookcase behind you. He came closer still until he was mere inches away from you, crowding you to the wall. Curiously, he had no shield up. He trusted his men to clear you of weapons, he thought you were not a threat. How wrong he was.

“What are you going to do to me? Fuck me? Your wife would not like that,”

“Is that how you get what you want?” He asked, his brows raised questioning you mockingly. He was closer now, crowding you against the bookcase, “Degrade yourself for men just to stay alive?”

“I can see you want to,” You tilted your head to the side, looking across his face. So close you could see every detail of his greying beard, the harsh furrow line between his brows and across his forehead, a small scar on his cheek. You could feel his elevated heart rate, rose-tinted cheeks, and enlarged pupils were not just from the alcohol at dinner, “You won’t kill me,”

“I won’t?” He was surprised by your assertion, almost laughing at you.

“No. Because you’re weak and a coward,” You spat the insults at him, your true hatred rising to the surface once more.

“I do not need to kill you to get my message across. I am not as callous as my cousin,”

“But you would like to see me in pain. For me to suffer at your hand? Disfigure me is I could not do what I attempted tonight with your son ever again? You are exactly like them,”

“Perhaps I should send you back unharmed, unsuccessful. If you’re so desperate for death I am sure your Feyd would be more than happy to see you to it,” You glared at him at the mention of Feyd in that way. The Duke smiled wickedly, “You are not the only one who did their research. I know exactly who you are through it was entertaining hearing you spin your lie to my lady,”

“You degrade yourself calling that witch by that title,” you curled your lip in disgust.

“Speak of her again and I will cut out your tongue,” He threatened, seething with anger. You met his mutual glare, daring him to try and attack you. You had come to a stalemate.

You knew you needed to get space, needed to get the upper hand before it was too late. He had trapped you against the wall, but you space to slip out, with more room there was more chance of escaping him. You broke his gaze to look to his left, when his eyes followed taking your bate you darted to his right.

 In the blink of an eye your back pressed against the bookcase behind you and his shield was up. He grabbed your shirt, pulling you back to him. The sharpness of his clutch pulled you back and pulled the shirt apart. The buttons clattered to the ground. The yellow shirt you wore fell to your sides, exposing your bare breasts and chest to him. You didn’t care about that, more worried at the exposure of your poison vial hidden in the side of the shirt.

Leto saw the bottle and grabbed it before you had a chance to even think about what to do next. He pulled it with a sharp tug from the chain which linked it to the fabric and it came free. The blue-grey colour of the liquid was undoubtedly poison. Its thick casing and hidden placement had concealed it from the poison snipers planted throughout the palace and the search you had endured before entering. You watched him closely, trying to read his stone face.

“I should kill you,” Fury overtook him, his attention remaining on the vial in his hand.

“It’s tetrodotoxin,” you said. One of the most horrific poisons available in the known universe.

“Quiet,” He snarled. You smiled wickedly, happy to have gotten him so riled up. Leto flicked the vial between his fingers before slipping it into his trouser pocket, unbothered by it. He did not move away from you; the shield was kept up. His eyes scoured your body, top torn open there was barely a stitch covering your breasts, certainly from his higher angle. Finally, the eagle’s eyes landed on the heart stop placed on your chest. A small piece of metal hiding a deadly mechanism inside your chest, one yank of the small handle on the outside your heart would stop, it was a common safety mechanism installed in all members of the Harkonnen court. Curious his fingers rose and touched the cold plate, you stilled, the smile disappearing and fear returning to your eyes as it had done when he attacked you. It was Leto’s turn to smile wickedly.

“As barbaric as these things are I must hand it to my cousin it is far simpler than a gun or knife,” His finger looped through the hold, you held your breath but met his stare, conflicted as to whether you were scared or not. He was not like the Baron, he was not as ruthless, and he wouldn’t do it. One small tug and it would be over. “So simple,” He mused.

“Do it,” You urged him, a wash of wicket excitement poured over you. You had played with Death so many times you could call it a friend. The Duke studied you for a moment, then dropped the small metal piece that held your life in the balance,

“You still don’t understand how this works do you?” He scoffed, “I am your Duke. If I wanted you dead you would be, only because I wished it. You have no power or say in whether you live or die here do you understand?”

“You are nothing to me,” You snarled.

“No,” He said quietly, his voice low and patronising, his hand drew up from your breast to your jaw, his warm hand caressing the skin,” Yes, your grace is the only thing I should hear from that pretty little mouth,” You remained silent. He drew this thumb over your lips, dragging it over your bottom lip until you yielded.

“Oh, he has got you trained well, hasn’t he?” The Duke chuckled to himself as your mouth opened, letting his thumb slide across your wet tongue.

You had him. This was your chance to kill the duke.

Earlier you had spotted a letter opener on the desk. It was not enough to kill him, but surely enough to mame and slow him down to administer your poison.

In a swift movement you bit down hard on the Duke’s thumb, swiping your leg behind his causing him to fall to the side. He cursed you loudly, and before you could get the three paces to the desk he caught your arm. He pulled you back with a force you could not overpower tripping over your own feet. He slammed you into the desk, you head hitting the wood with a bang. You reached with your spare hand for the small knife but again was too slow for the bird sharp man. He caught your arm, knocked the knife away and pulled both your hands behind you back, holding you down with the weight of his body.

“Stupid, stupid girl,” he hissed. Suddenly a small sharp needle pierced your side. You cried out and hissed as the liquid entered your bloodstream. You squirmed under him, trying to kick his legs out, but he remained strong. “You’re lucky I only gave you truth spirit,”

You had been given truth spirit so many times you knew the effects well. Your mind seemed to step up a gear, racing faster than you could keep up with. You itched, from head to toe and your tongue felt big in your mouth. After a quiet moment as you took more notice of your body than the one pressed against you, the duke asked his questions.

“You are here to kill my son, yes?”

“Yes,”

“And you know who the spy is in my house?”

“Yes,”

“Who are they?”

“The witch,” you snarled. Leto pressed harder onto your back.

“Don’t make me hurt you,”

“I want you to,��� you gasped, laughing at your own admission but not stopping yourself from pushing your hips back against the duke.

“Who is the spy?” He asked again, insistent. Desperate.

“Jessica. Your Lady Jessica is the spy,” you taunted him with your truth.

“This doesn’t have to be so hard, tell me and I’ll let you go,”

“That is the truth! Truth spirt doesn’t lie,” You laughed, the drug confusing you and making you hysterical.

Leto snatched your shoulder, pulling you up then down to the floor. You fell to your knees, hitting the stone floor with a smack that was amplified by the cavernous room. Your knees and palms ached with pain that had been dulled by the drug coursing through your veins. Your laughter stopped as you protested the sudden manhandling. The Duke’s hands were back on you quickly, taking hold of your hair in one hand to pull you upright once more.

He loomed above you, ever taller and wider to you from your low position. You pulled your eyes up, an impish smile on your face, happy to feel the hand of his hatred. Your cocky smile quickly dropped when you saw the little blue bottle in his hand, the top between his teeth. He spat it out, sending it to an unknown corner of the room. Fear flooded your body.

“You lying Harkonnon whore,” He sneered at you. You struggled against him, trying to get away but his hold of your hair was too strong. You had danced with death but the effects of that poison were far worse.

“No one can overcome truth spirit,” You exclaimed quickly, trying to bring him to reason. The man was desperate, he didn’t hear it.

“I will not ask again,”

“Lady Jessica is the spy! I read the message before it was sent!”

“Liar!” He bellowed, tipping the bottle.

“I cannot lie!”

You screamed as the poison burned your skin. Only a small droplet fell onto your shoulder, the horrific sensation that instantly flooded your body was immeasurable in comparison. The heat took over you, radiating through your lungs and instantly restricting your breathing. A sparked sharp sting spread over your shoulder and neck, like electricity jumping across your skin. You collapsed forward onto his boots, wailing in agony. You sobbed, curled in on yourself cradling your shoulder, trying your best not to touch it so the poison could not spread any further.

Above you the duke was unmoved, simply waiting for you to quieten down so he could speak once more.

 “I know it is not Jessica, it is impossible and I know it was entirely fabricated by your brutish house. There are people here who believe it to be true, even she believes I believe it. I am not to be fooled easily. You don’t know the spy, fine. I believe you, tell me everything you do know,”

You couldn’t speak for the sobs rocking through your body. The Duke ran his hands over your head, shushing you in a way that should have been comforting if he was not the one administering the pain.

“When are they coming?”

“Once the signal is given,” You whisper, your voice hoarse with pain.

“And that signal is what exactly?” He asked calmly. You bit your tongue harshly, knowing the consequence of your true words. He was desperate, there was no way he would believe you. “Speak!”

“I don’t know!” You yelled, immediately cowering from the inevitable deadly droplet, “please your grace, I don’t know anything,”

“Now I am your Duke?” He mocked you, “When I hold your life in my hands?”

“I will do anything,” You pleaded tearfully.

The words lay heavy in the air between you. Slowly he put the bottle onto the table behind him, keeping it uncapped and within arm’s reach for his own security. You pushed up from the cold floor to sit up, wincing at the blisters that had formed on your shoulder from the poison. He looked down at you, slowly taking your chin in his hand and making you look at him. He loomed over you, chest heaving with fury and lust.

“Beg me to fuck you,”

“I-“

“Beg,”

You stared up at him, completely speechless unable even if you want to answer him. Your silence only enraged him more. He slapped you, hard, across the face. You yelped and cowered away, eyes watering as your cheek stung. You could feel the bruise from his ducal signet ring impacting your cheekbone instantly start to bloom, “Beg me to fuck you,” He seethed in almost a whisper.

You couldn’t stop yourself. Lust bursting from its cage that you had tried so desperate to keep locked.

“Fuck me,”

“I am your Duke. Address me as such,” he ordered harshly, his voice thick with hunger.

“Fuck me please, your grace,” the honorific felt bitter on your tongue, but you loved the taste.

He pulled you up from the floor, turning you away from him before pulling your body against his.

“You walk in here,” He panted, blowing hot air against your neck, close enough to kiss you but you knew wouldn’t. There is kindness in a kiss, this was no kindness, “you distract me, torment me, and insult me by attempting to seduce my son,” He spat each accusation at you, infuriated with your very being. He pressed his clothed hips into your ass, you keened softly at the feeling of his hard cock against you.

He slowly pushed you forward, until your chest hit the cold wooden desk once again.

“You are lucky I didn’t give you to my men. They’ve been without women for weeks, who knows what they’d do to you, but I’d bet you’d like that wouldn’t you?” He pushed your skirt up above your hips, exposing your bare ass.

“Look at you, soaked,” He pushed one finger through your wet folds, you bit your lip hard so as to stop the moan that grew in your throat as the tip of his finger brushed your clit. Just as quickly as he had touched you, his hand retreated, “I want to hear you,” He ordered sternly, “You know what I will do if you disobey me,”

“Please,” You gasped.

“What was that?”

“Please fuck me, your grace,”

“I should record you right here and send it to your Baron. How pathetic and desperate you are for my cock,” Bent over the desk you could not see him, but you felt the intense stare of the eagle-eyed Duke focused on your exposed cunt. You lifted your hips in a desperate hope that his hand was not far to provide some friction again. The Duke watched with amusement, “Beg me,”

“Please, your grace. Please fu-,” Your words were cut off with a sudden cry he finally entered you. He was thick, feeling larger because of how unexpected the intrusion had been. He did not wait for you to settle either, his cock pulling out just as quick as it had gone in. His large hands gripped your waist, pulling your skirt up higher so he could watch himself enter you again.

You had never felt so full in your life, your pussy ached as he fucked you hard. He wasn’t fast but deliberate, the rumours you had heard in court were entirely true. You melted into the wooden surface beneath you, eyes rolling back into your head as he fucked you relentlessly. Your hips met each of his thrusts, your calves cramping as you pushed yourself on your tiptoes to meet his cock. He groaned and cursed you under his breath, pent up frustration manifesting in hard thrusts into your soaked pussy.

The pleasure began to build as your gasps became whines and quiet cries of pleasure. You snuck your hand under your stomach, but before you could reach your throbbing clit, Leto grabbed your wrist and pulled it out and to your back, pinning you to the table. You wailed in protest.

“I did not say you could touch yourself,” He growled, holding your wrist tight to your back.

“Please!”

“This is not for you,” He said through gritted teeth, groaning loudly as you tensed around his cock, “You cum if and when I tell you,” The sound of his cock pounding into you filled the room, echoing throughout the large stone office, only punctuated by Leto’s occasional grunt or chocked cry from you.

Suddenly he stopped, pulling away from you entirely. You picked yourself up and turned your head to see him. Before you could say anything, he pulled your arm to get you to stand and face him. He sat down in his chair, a smug and satisfied smirk on his face.

He looked utterly sinful. His peppered hair had fallen from its brushed back position over his face, a suggestion of curl starting to form as the hair was met with sweat. His brown skin shone in the golden light of the glow globe, the exertion of his torment shining on his skin. He was still completely closed, his belt discarded and trousers now entirely unzipped as he stroked his cock in his hand, watching you.

“Show me why he keeps you,” His words were thick with lust. You needed no further instruction as you climbed on top of his, knees on either side of his legs trapped between them and the arms of the chair.

The Duke let you take his cock into your hands, hissing with pleasure as you stroked him for a moment. You shifted forward, lining him up with your hole and sunk down onto it.

“Fuck,” You chocked out as he split you open again. You shifted your legs wider to fit him in, the wet sound filling the air around you. Finally, you rested once he was deep inside you. Leto tipped his head back, panting, trying to catch his breath as you throbbed around him. You nearly came from the sight alone, a sense of pride washing over you that you had reduced him to this. Feeling bold you leaned forward and kissed his neck as he held it exposed to you. You lifted off his cock slowly as you did, moaning into his skin as you relished in the drag of it along your tight walls.

He pushed you back after a moment, his hands holding your hips as he manhandled you to a rougher rhythm. You could not forget he was in charge. You moaned and cried out as he set a brutal pace, his hips rising from the chair to snap into yours as you rode his cock. You gripped the back of the chair behind his head, your naked tits bouncing in front of his face. He leaned forward and took one nipple into his mouth, groaning into your skin at the taste of you. His hands left your hips, moving to grip the armrests as you fucked him hard.

Pleasure built in your stomach, slowly building a fire that would soon consume you. You took hold of his hand from the armrests and placed it on your heart stop. The feeling of powerlessness, you were used to, Feyd took this liberty all too many times, you knew he would not kill you. There was no trust with Leto. It made the entire thing that much more pleasurable as your adrenaline heightened and the pleasure of his cock splitting you open sent you to another plane. You cried out as he took hold of the small hold quickly, fucking into you harder as he had gained ultimate control over you. You had offered it, your final and ultimate submission to him as he truly held your life in his hands.

You rode him fiercely, circling your hips to drive him deep to every spot you had inside. He growled as the first flutter of your coming climax gripped his cock. While one hand stayed attached to your heart stop, his palm brushing your hard nipple, his other hand had ventured to your clit.

“Cum on my cock, Y/n,” He ordered, the use of your name catching your attention immediately. You opened your eyes and met his. “Cum for me,” That determined look that was ever etched on his face stared back at you, as his fingers rubbed circles over your clit. You cried out, almost immediately collapsing into him. He kept going, only pausing for a moment to adjust his legs to fuck up into you as he chased his own high.

Your climax hit suddenly, entirely all-consuming you had never felt anything like it. You cried out, thrashing against his incessant fingers as he pushed you past any pleasure you had felt before. Tears formed in your eyes as he used your pussy until his own climax came, spilling his cum deep inside you. You burnt, feeling entirely out of your own body you fell into his heaving chest.

Before you could feel any kind of rest, Leto pulled his cock out from your dripping cunt, did up his trousers, and stood you up. Your legs turned to jelly, unable to function after such an offence the Duke held you up with strong hands. You could feel his cum trickle down your leg, mixing with your own mess between your thighs.

You looked up at him with a dreamy- utterly fucked out face. Tears and sweat shone on your cheeks, your chest still rising and falling quickly, slowing as you calmed down. Leto looked down at you, his usual serious scowl back on his face, though a little softer now whether it was caring for you or having burnt out the majority of his hatred you could not tell.

He caressed your jaw, soft touches sending a flutter of affection through your body and your eyes fell shut once more. His fingers came down your neck, and you sighed satisfied beyond what you even knew possible. You flinched as he reached the burn on your shoulder, your attention snapping back to his face, alarm and caution immediately taking the place of your pleasure. You watched him watch his hands travel over your skin, around the injury he had inflicted. The scar it would undoubtedly leave would serve as a constant reminder of your submission to him and his rule. Eventually, his fingers came back to the heart-stop in your chest. You held your breath.

You wondered if he could feel your heart beating so rapidly beneath it. A mere slither of metal away from him. You watched his movements carefully, watching him trace the engraved ‘H’. He picked his head up, finally looking back up to see the terror written across your face.

Expecting the hard glare, you received earlier you were surprised to see softness. Pity. There was more kindness, more understanding silently in his eyes than anyone had ever given you before. It terrified you.

After a moment he dropped his hand from your chest, kissed your forehead and stepped away.

You finally let your breath go, shakily sitting back down in the desk chair behind you for fear you could pass out. Swinging so violently from pleasure and satisfaction to fear you felt nauseous. You watched him readjust his jacket, slip his belt back around it, and brush his fingers through his greying hair so nobody could tell what had happened. He tugged his jacket sharply, took a deep breath to compose himself and removed himself from what had transpired in this room.

He walked toward the door, taking one final look at you before he left. His lips quirked into a smug smile for just a second, no doubt satisfied with the mess he had made of you now sitting under the scrubbed out Harkonnen emblem on his chair. A symbol of his coming victory, he hoped at least. 

“I will have an ornithopter waiting for you. Take it to the smuggler’s and leave this planet. If I hear you still remain on this planet by sunrise, remember I still have this. There will be no corner of this place you could hide,” He flashed the bottle of poison in his hand before slipping it into his trouser pocket again. You nodded, “Understand?”

“Yes, your grace,”

With that he shut the door, leaving you in his chair dazed and confused as to what had to have just transpired. Proof dripped from you onto your skirts, making its way down your leg. You had no doubt you looked a mess, hair pulled from its delicate design and makeup smeared.

You had nothing to clean yourself with. You would have to go out there, everyone would know what had happened. You had no choice, maybe that was the duke’s plan- to humiliate you. But you had no choice. You could not return home, once the Baron found out what had transpired here tonight you would be dead. You had to run.

—-

9 months away and she comes back with porn… hehe hope you enjoyed this! It really was the inevitable outcome of studying this story for a year lol

tagging possibly interested peeps: @laters-gators @polaroidpetal @autumnleaves1991-blog

#duke leto x reader #duke leto atreides x you #leto atreides x reader smut #duke leto atreides smut #leto atreides smut #leto atreides x you #duke leto x you #duke leto #duke leto atreides #dune #oscar isaac #duke leto x lady jessica #molly writes

[milburnandnyman]

DON’T BULLSHIT ME - the analysis

Why I think there’s no fucking way Joy wouldn’t be Jakob’s and why I’m almost betting they had to write Mikael out and that’s why we got that bullshit, lacking-in-context story:

1. Jean can be a silly woman, but she is not dumb. I cannot imagine a sex therapist who wouldn’t be highly aware of these things and also as someone who has already been pregnant once in her life, to miscalculate things so horridly as in not to know who the father of her child is.

2. Jean was very outspoken about protection, there is a scene from S2 where she is attending the SexEd class at Otis’ school and she tells the students “remember, it is always your right to say no” as in response to a case where someone insists on not using protection.

3. According to these words and the fact that she is a sex therapist with a previously quite sexually active lifestyle, I am 100% sure she has always used protection, no exception.

4. Yes, Jean slept with both Jakob and Dan on that very same day which is evocative, but as previously mentioned, I am sure she’s used a condom, both with Dan and Jakob, because even if she and Jakob liked one another, I don’t think you just tell a person that you’ve had a vasectomy when you’re about to have sex with them for the first time and even if, they were still strangers, I don’t think that’d convince her not to use it, at least in terms of STD’s etc. I think it’s highly unlikely she got pregnant on that day by either of them.

5. Despite Jean kissing Remi, there was no one else in terms of sex after her and Jakob started dating. She was exclusive with Jakob.

6. I believe as Jean and Jakob became exclusive and things got serious, I think that’s when Jakob probably mentioned his vasectomy to Jean. It’s no secret that a lot of couples prefer to have sex without a condom, so the fact that they were a serious couple and that the vasectomy should theoretically keep them “safe” (haha), was probably enough of a reason to go au naturelle.

7. A lot of women actually get pregnant despite the man having had the vasectomy. You can find a ton of such stories, also, the doctor herself had said to Jean “stranger things have happened”. Yes, condoms can break, but if you’ve been cream-pied by your bf god knows how many times, despite the vasectomy, that’s a lot of shots. Pun intended.

8. While the timeline is not thoroughly explained, according to the story, S1 begins at the start of the school year and S2 is supposed to be around spring term. Jean gives birth on October 25th in S3, which is post-summer break. Jean is not due for 8 weeks at the time, so her due date should be sometime in December, meaning, Jean got pregnant sometime in March or early spring. (I think S1 and S2 contain some more dates to confirm this, a bill at Maeve’s trailer and some other stuff that kinda support bits of the timeframe.)

9. I highly doubt that the first season stretched from September and all the way up to the next spring, I think S2 actually started during the spring term and there was a time jump, so I personally think the sex with Dan was too far away for him to even be considered the father (of course, they can imply whatever they want, but according to logic - again, seems unlikely).

10. I think the time jump could have had Jean and Jakob dating in secret anywhere from a month to a couple of months, now, while we cannot be 100% sure of this, I still think a certain amount of time had passed in between.

11. Jean says she found out she was pregnant “quite late on”, but has also stated “I really didn’t know what I was going to do”, probably implying she still had the time to decide, this means she wasn’t pregnant for longer than 12 weeks. It is usually up until the 12th week mark where you have the time to decide to terminate the pregnancy. In my opinion, she must have found out somewhere in between 8-10 weeks, considering she called it “late”.

12. She had already broken up with Jakob when she found out, it could’ve been merely days or a good week after that, maybe more, but who knows, it does however give us about an extra week into the pregnancy and we can consider that when assuming how long they could’ve been a couple for beforehand.

13. The moment Jean found out, she was obviously surprised “but that’s impossible” and right away blurts out “but he’s had a vasectomy”. She right away thought of Jakob and has even expressed her surprise, due to his vasectomy, but it didn’t make her question if the baby might be someone else’s. Again, the doctor confirmed getting pregnant that way is not that unlikely.

14. Since Jean had already broken up with Jakob at the time and he had made it clear, that he doesn’t want to reconcile, Jean was quite free to decide about her pregnancy. If she ever doubted that the baby wasn’t Jakob’s, I see absolutely no reason why she would feel forced to keep it and turn her life upside down. I think Jean knowingly kept that baby, because she knew it was her and Jakob’s and there was the inevitable emotional attachment to it, so it would probably be hard for her to terminate the pregnancy and she even says it later on how one of the reasons was that “it just seemed fated”.

15. During the entire S3 there are too many lines that support Jean’s indeed very sure and convinced of Jakob being the father: Otis’ “mom, you have to tell him” - I’m pretty sure you don’t lie to your own son about who the father is, “you’ve impregnated me”, “I’m 48 and he’s had a vasectomy” so confirming in front of a therapist, that even to her it seemed impossible, yet, still, it happened, then the way she remained so sure when Jakob was beginning to grow doubtful “don’t be ridiculous”, agreeing to that DNA test without even a glimpse of a doubt and being completely shocked by the results later on. All of these to me are not behaviors of someone who “a part of me always knew she wasn’t his”, but quite the contrary.

16. The fact that Jean, despite loving Jakob, couldn’t even go back to confront him and has, for example, only decided to make it known that she “wanted to try again” later on at the therapist’s, just goes to show how vulnerable she felt after the heartbreak, so no wonder she waited a couple of months before even gathering the courage to tell Jakob, she was probably terrified and upon doing it, she actually tried to play it cool at first like “I only want you to be involved if it’s something that you would like”. So, I don’t think she’d go into it lightly and lie about it if she had any doubts about the paternity, just to use Jakob. Even the therapist asked her if she decided to keep the baby, because she still wanted to be with Jakob, to which she replied “absolutely not” and I really think that she’d probably rather just ghost him forever if she knew the baby wasn’t his as opposed to trapping him into being the father. Jean is the kind of person who really prefers to run away from her feelings at times like these.

If you actually managed to read the entire thing, thank you, you are a champ.

Yes, I know this fucking analysis won’t change S4 and they have made their choice, all I’m trying to say is, that I am suspicious of this all and I really think there was something about not being able to cast Mikael Persbrandt, that have made them change the story last minute, because it just felt so loose and if this was actually intended all this time, then all of these things from before simply don’t make sense. It puts their entire arc to question.

All of these are also the reason why I always believed that the DNA thing was just something to play with them some more and have never doubted Jakob being Joy’s father, not even for a moment.

#jean milburn #jakob nyman #jeankob #gillian anderson #sex education #sex education season 4 #jean x jakob #mikael persbrandt #wasting my life to analyze shit like this #god help me #yes i am vulnerable right now

[zalrin]

The Glitch (BG3 Imagine)

Title: The Glitch

Pairing: Astarion x f!Tav

Word Count: 1,124

Summary: Fluff mixed with a bit of angst from Astarion's POV! This is all based on the glitch that happened due to the latest Patch #4 and (probably) my mods.

Note From Author: For more context, see my previous post here. When I told my friend that Astarion (in the glitch/bug) looked like he wanted to say yes to my Tav but something was preventing him from doing so, causing him to look sad, she suggested I write a fic! I tried to post on my TikTok page, but it immediately got taken down and I still have no idea why. T-T

Part 1

Across the camp, just a bit beyond their usual bed rolls, he could see Tav turn towards him. Then, she began to walk. A light jog, if you will. And the closer she got towards him, the more he found himself smiling.

“Gods, you’re beautiful.”

He couldn’t help but mention just how alluring she was.

Astarion, for most of his undead life, felt so alone in the world. By some miracle, Tav found him. And she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. Or so he so desperately hoped. There was always that small ache of doubt that lodged itself into the deepest reaches of his heart. But he would never let her know.

Tav smiled at his words, his usual greetings still bringing her joy.

“Can we talk about the two of us?” She asked.

“‘Us’.” Astarion repeated, moving his hand behind his head to hide just how much his unbeating heart fluttered when he heard her say this one word. “I still love the sound of that.”

He loved the way Tav said it. How it seemed like they were the only two in the world. Like they were meant for one another. As if all the suffering he faced was all worth it, so that he could be together with Tav in this very moment. Something so common, and yet felt so sacred. Us.

“Could I kiss you?”

Ever since his confession… Ever since Tav showed him just how much freedom he had regained from Cazador’s clutches… Astarion felt reassured by how Tav always asked for his permission before engaging in any sort of intimacy. Even just a simple kiss… She always asked him first. And every time she did, he felt as though he had been heard. As if she truly understood him, and respected both his past and present. And one day, he hoped, his future.

“How could I say no?”

Astarion smiled, thoughts of her dancing in his mind. Her tantalizing smell. Everything about her would amplify so much more when she was near. And every time they kissed, he didn’t feel a hint of disgust like he used to. No, never with Tav. Now, he only felt elation.

He gazed at her, expectantly, waiting for her to step closer so they could share a moment of bliss. But… No matter how long he waited, she didn’t approach him. Was she perhaps waiting for him to step towards her? Did she want him to initiate this time?

But the look on Tav’s face said otherwise. The way she just stared back at him, as if she were waiting for something. But what? Why was she so silent?

Astarion wanted to ask. He wanted to reach for her hand and ask her if something was wrong. If he did something wrong. But… That’s when he realized… He couldn’t move?

Those words. The answer he thought he gave her when she asked that blessed question. He never said a single word. Not a sound slipped from his lips. It wasn’t him that was waiting for Tav. It was her that was waiting for him. Waiting for him to give his consent. As patiently as ever.

He could feel his facial muscles strain against his will. It was as though he were trapped in his own body, unable to move or make a sound. He could see Tav still looking at him, a flash of confusion appearing in her eyes, but he couldn’t give her a response. He could only stare back at her, helplessly.

Move! Say something! Anything!

But his body just wouldn’t listen. It was frozen in place, refusing to move even an inch.

The seconds ticked by, and each one was sheer torture. Perhaps, in that brief moment of torment, his face finally slipped into a different expression. He could feel his smile grow faint, and his eyebrows furrow slightly. It filled him with hope. Hope that his body was once again his. But… Alas, it was false hope. And a painful one at that.

Tav saw his face filled with what she could only see as sorrow. She couldn’t quite place why he had gone silent, but she could see his eyes swimming with unspoke struggle. And she interpreted it the only way she knew how.

“It’s alright, Astarion,” she comforted as she gently squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to force yourself. You are free to say, ‘no’. I want you to be happy.”

He could feel her warmth seeping into his cold hands, but he still didn’t have control. He longed to wrap his own hands around hers, to pull her in closer, to plant his lips to hers. He wanted to enclose her in his arms, feel the warmth of not just her hands but from her whole body. He wanted her closer than ever. Until there was practically no space between them.

But he only stared back at her. His voice trapped in his own throat, unable to escape.

Tav smiled, giving him another squeeze, and then began to walk away.

She was like that, his Tav. Always so gentle. So caring. So filled with compassion. She took his silence as a refusal, and she didn’t put up a fuss. She accepted it all so naturally, that if he really had been the one to say, “No,” he would have felt touched. But he hadn’t refused her. He didn’t want to! He wanted her to come back. To disregard his frozen posture. To scoop him up in her arms and kiss him, his silence be damned!

But Tav didn’t turn around.

The further she walked, the more his heart wrenched with pain. He felt as though he were suffocating. As if a stake had been twisted deep into his heart. He cursed at his helplessness. He cursed at this predicament. And he wanted to curse at the entity that had made him a prisoner in his own body.

But who could he blame? Who had so much control over him that he couldn’t move a finger? It certainly wasn’t Cazador, though he wouldn’t put it past the bastard to think of this as a new form of torture. But Cazador couldn’t have done this. Not with his own power, at least. It was… It was too much control, if that made any sense. As if it was something greater in play here.

The more he thought, the more his mind felt muddled. As if he weren’t allowed to even think up the question. And the more he fought against this strange feeling, the more hazy his thoughts became. Finally, when his willpower could fight no more, everything went black. And all this disappeared, like a dream. A horrible, horrible dream.

[Part 2]

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 tav #tav #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #astarion x tav fanfic

[queenaryastark]

With Stannis, one of his purposes seem to be in providing context to aspects of Dany's story. By that, I mean he is set up as a false hero who fails to do what Dany has more successfully achieved or will achieve. For instance, we see Dany fulfill the PTWP/AA prophecy at the end of AGOT only for Mel to try to shoehorn the prophecy onto Stannis at the start of ACOK. In this way, GRRM tells us what Dany has done and how it fits into the prophecies and mythology of the world. So thanks to the mummer's show of a ceremony with the burning of the Seven, we get the story of AA making multiple sacrifices to make Lightbringer, ending in the sacrifice of his wife. This is obviously a gender bent version of what Dany did with Drogo.

I'm wondering if part these two passages suggest something similar and if it impacted the hatching of the dragons:

“A few cuts,” Ser Jorah answered, “nothing of consequence. He slew two khals this day. Khal Ogo first, and then the son, Fogo, who became khal when Ogo fell. His bloodriders cut the bells from their hair, and now Khal Drogo’s every step rings louder than before.” - Dany VII, AGOT

--

Burning dead children had ceased to trouble Jon Snow; live ones were another matter. Two kings to wake the dragon. The father first and then the son, so both die kings. The words had been murmured by one of the queen’s men as Maester Aemon had cleaned his wounds. Jon had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. Aemon had demurred. “There is power in a king’s blood,” the old maester had warned, “and better men than Stannis have done worse things than this.” The king can be harsh and unforgiving, aye, but a babe still on the breast? Only a monster would give a living child to the flames. - Jon I, ADWD

Fogo and Ogo's deaths likely have nothing to do with the hatching. But I just found it interesting GRRM has two kings who are father and son, one ascending due to the death of the other, die so close to the hatching of the dragons and then mention that Stannis and Mel want to achieve the same thing in order to wake a dragon.

And this might be a stretch, but Dany sees Viserys as king and she sees her son as the next contender for king. She even makes plans for his Kingsguard. Then she dreams of each of them dying very close to the hatching, basically a king and his successor king dying one after the other. After this, Viserion is already alive and moving around in his egg, which makes sense since he's the first to hatch and the first described after the pyre scene.

But then Mirri's death seems to be necessary, too, given the vision of a dragon bursting from her head.

I'm basically just confusing myself in an effort to figure out how the dragons hatched, lol There's probably no answer at all, tbh

#daenerys targaryen #asoiaf

[revserrayyu]

2.1 Penacony thoughts [part1]

**Mild spoiler warning** until the first moment we switch to Aventurine’s POV in the story and I don’t think much has happened yet, but if you haven’t reached that point yet, then turn away anyway if you wish I’m just gonna ramble a bit here and toss my thoughts into the void for my own reference.

Firstly, the return of the odd yellow text and Aventurine calling us ~fuh-riends~ in that hilarious and exaggerated tone of his.

Makes me wonder whom else has perished during their time in Penacony, and if it’s true, then the Family certainly has experience with covering such things up which raises many other concerns. Also gives me another reason to not fully trust Sunday.

Oh teehee~ We got Aventurine’s number. And some extra credits due to my responses, HA. sugardaddy

As we learned from a beautifully animated dance animation, Black Swan certainly knows how dangerous Acheron can be.

he whole flashback with Duke & Acheron was pretty good. It at least gives us more context rather than us being told he was killed offscreen, but still confirms the dude is dead, though he mentions the kids are alive, somehow. Duke also guessed that Acheron’s an Emanator (though he’s wrong about which path), then there was some important music box that gets brought up later on, and Acheron speaks of her sword that has indeed been sheathed this entire time, even during the 2.0 story.

At the very end of the scene it fades to black and Acheron full says: “May death be the end of your boundless dream, guiding you back to the waking world,” which I remember is the exact thing she said after witnessing Firefly’s death.

Sweetie, you’re a big mystery but it does not surprise me in the slightest to learn that you’re wanted by the IPC after witnessing your power in your many trailers. Hearing her speak about the Stellaron Hunters though made me think back to her character trailer, since I wondered if she even knew who was attacking her in the first place, but perhaps she did, even if the trio was nothing but Sparkle’s tricky illusions.

It was kinda funny seeing her get lost occasionally in the hotel during the previous story update, but now I feel bad knowing that she has horrible memory. Having to rely on your emotions seems quite challenging if you don’t have a good control of them, but she seems to be fairing well enough.

Tell us your suspicions Acheron! I mean, I have my guesses as well, but I’d take your word over anyone else’s.

It was at this moment where I had a real random idea and thought, “huh, could this be Boothill?” I found it strange how they revealed him to us when we haven’t even met the dude in game yet, like he really came in outta nowhere for me. But seeing Sam again and realizing how both of them have robotic bodies.. I dunno. I thought it could’ve been an extra set of armor or something.

Of course it makes no sense, since Sam & Boothill have different voice actors anyways, but still, the way Acheron speaks so familiar to him, as if they were both truly galaxy rangers, gave me second thoughts for just a brief moment. Nothing more. Just a small silly idea.

The return of the worrisome red text, capable of causing anxiety even through such a small word. With her horrible memory, I assume she’s not even sure what she’s supposed to be doing in life, so asking about Elio’s script and if she’s included made me think she’s trying to learn about her purpose and her own goals.

Say it loud, mom! We shall NOT. TRUST. ANYONE! And at this moment I seriously don’t. If they ain’t from the Express then you’re sus. Case closed.

Glad to see Danny boy lending us a helping hand from the train, but red text begone! First learning about how Acheron has terrible memory and now we can’t even remember her well? That can’t be good.

I firmly believed that if you die in the dream, you would just wake up in real life, so thank whatever Aeon you fancy that we’re finally getting the idea to head back into reality to confirm if Firefly and Robin are still alive. Maybe we should check up on those couple npcs that passed away during side quests too.

The way I held my breath.. I don’t even know much about HI3 but I’m aware our grandpa is more or less the same guy, so seeing him interact with some like Acheron, oh dear. The way Acheron still didn’t reveal her true name to him made me more wary too. I get she might not even remember, because poor memory, but hmmm.

I can understand her having some Stellaron Hunter knowledge because she’s wanted just like them, but ma’am why do you know this?? especially since the Family doesn’t even know the truth about Welt’s cane apparently.

Can’t lie, a fight between him and Acheron would be a spectacle. Who do you think would win?

Again, how does she know this? Has she been chatting with Aventurine? because he figured out our stellaron last patch too.

First thought: yay, she’s worried about us. Second thought: why would she be concerned about Black Swan? Shouldn’t it be the other way around after their dance? Third thought: What exactly is Black Swan capable of and how frightened should I be right now? Fourth thought: Acheron, why do you know so much about others??

So this music box.. why exactly does Black Swan have it now? Didn’t Acheron snatch it from Duke Inferno? Was she planning to give it to BS, or did memokeeper steal it off her? I dunno.

Is it me or does it feel like she’s talking to someone else? Another memokeeper? Or just to herself for dramatic effect? Either way, who exactly are we expecting to show up?

I honestly was getting a bit creeped out during this scene, from the weird camera angles the game was giving is to seeing Black Swan not understand what was going on or who was speaking to her. I actually started fearing for her life and I made a stunning realization that if they killed off BS I would actually freak out. Surprisingly, I wasn’t too upset over Firefly (we didn’t spend much time with her), but it feels like we’ve know BS for longer you know? Ever since that trailer about all the Aeons.

I can hear Luocha somewhere in the distance going “the dead return!” I tease, but actually hearing one of those from Ever-Flame Mansion call out to BS was a bit confusing? Duke said his kids were alive, sure, but BS is looking at past memories attached to the music box, right? So I’m still a bit on the fence regarding who out of the kids are actually alive. Maybe some, maybe all. Maybe I’m being played for a fool and thinking about it too much.

How many of y’all got excited to see Ratio interact with Aventurine again? I know you people are out there. Anyways, hearing about how Robin had a stand-in leads me to believe her death was planned, which would upset me greatly because what did that precious lady ever do to anyone??

It’s crazy this man has actually tried several times to end himself inside the dreams, like bro what if you actually succeeded?? At least this shod bring us some relief that Firefly and Robin are okay? Hopefully? I’ll believe when I see them.

I freakin' knew there was something wrong with her voice!! The first couple times we meet her you can tell her voice sounded off, like it was glitching out or something. It’s not very easy to hear, but the difference between the real Robin and Sparkle impersonating Robin towards the end of the last patch sounded different. No wonder Sunday picked up on Sparkle’s trick so easily.

Soooo, that’s pretty much everything I went through after the update hit. Unfortunately it isn’t much but adulting is a drag. Of course I’m looking forward to continuing the story later on. Starting with these men again will be a treat too.

(originally written on 3/27)

#honkai star rail #aventurine #black swan #acheron #sam #welt yang #dr ratio #gameplay #revsposts

[orchideae]

"Okay, I ask you a question, you have to think of the answer, where do you look? No good. You look down, they know you're lying, and up they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight. Look always at your mark, but don't stare. Be specific, but not memorable. Be funny, but don't make him laugh. He's gotta like you, and then forget you, the moment you've left his sight."

Let's talk about inspiration for a second, though I'm not saying with this that Rusty Ryan is a direct source of inspiration for Yelan, but there's numerous things from this scene that I want to point out for a moment.

One. How much each detail matters when it comes to a 'person'(a). I know that in this quote/scene's context it's about where you can find uncertainty and proof of one's deception, but by that same account, it shows how many elements of ourselves carry our authenticity and thus our 'essence'. This shows the rather thorough knowledge that one has to possess in regards to human nature to be able to bring such thorough (and thus believable) personas to life. There will be moments when Yelan will simply throw up a quick lie as to her identity like she does in her SQ in Liyue Harbor when she simply needs some quick information but nothing beyond that; but for more elaborate missions that require a specific consistent and/or recurring presence? You'll see her live that as much and as naturally as she lives her own self, it's where you'll see a whole different level of craftsmanship, her craftsmanship.

Two. The arts of being perceived and deceived are rather intense. I mean, this also plays into the previous/first point, because it's honestly all about how the devil is in the details. But with this I aim to indicate how in control of yourself you have to be, to show signs of nervousness that may fit the persona in question perfectly. As an example: an experienced salesman will usually have natural charisma and confidence, because one's energy will draw customers in and the way a pitch is presented, will be what will make the sale; but one that's entirely new to the field will likely be lacking in both of those traits out of sheer inexperience. The latter will (likely/usually) find him or herself with a bundle of nerves caught in their throat which will afflict their speech and will likely keep their hands grasped together to not show the shake of them— living these little traits will allow one to blend into many different locations and scenarios (imagine too, how these would then also ripple effect into their personal lives). Any way, I digress. Even if we're speaking of a very temporary role or persona, falling into the latter example of character allows one to much more realistically bump into boundaries and excuse themselves; their nerves are a motivator and inhibitor for many things. But to able to present this realistically, every single layer of nuance needs to be closely and tightly understood. It's much more of a challenge than people might think.

Three. Those last lines, and that very last line in specific is so utterly important:

"Look always at your mark, but don't stare. Be specific, but not memorable. Be funny, but don't make him laugh. He's gotta like you, and then forget you, the moment you've left his sight."

Initially, I wanted to bring up Yelan's first character story as an example of this, that these novice pharmacists don't seem to realize that they've all likely treated Yelan for one injury or another already in the past and have forgotten; but it isn't the best instance to enforce the above quote, as each of their attention is drawn away from the obvious due to Yelan's endurance to endure the pain the treatments subject her to (yes, I will touch on this 'light addiction to pain' soon, and no, it is not 'kinky' as a portion of the fandom makes it out to be, or at least in my opinion; but more on that in a later post as it plays into a consistent thing across the board). Instead, the best example is likely simply: Liyue Harbor. This is where she lives (well, she technically resides just outside of the city), this is where people see her cross the street and yet in her SQ, numerous seem to not exactly recognize her. Even children who are known to frequent the wharf over and over, aren't familiar enough with Yelan as to be able to recognize her, and yet saying that they wouldn't have crossed paths is rather unrealistic (as she literally works for Ningguang, Liyue Harbor is the first port of call for intelligence gathering for numerous things). This tells me that she's either rather good at drawing their eyes away from her face or any other parts of her that people could rather quickly identify her by, or she's prone to disguising herself just enough. Now I do also have to note that the exact opposite may also be craved in certain situations. Sometimes, all you need is to be a memory that is much too vivid, a fever in someone's mind—— sometimes, that is exactly the persona that needs to linger.

What can I say, the game is a complicated one to play. For a woman who is so good at this craftsmanship, where every little aspect of these personas rests in a firm grip of control; no wonder she lives her life outside of that by the roll of a dice.

#[ meta. ] the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you? #[ every single element of this character is an element that i love so very dearly. god. /god/. ] #[ all that i need now is to shake the dust off my feathers. which will happen after numerous replies; i know. but until then. ] #[ have more thoughts! ]

[spiteless-xo]

╰┈➤ family - tbaw. ⋙ an alternate version of eren's backstory

why was it deleted. it didn't fit in with the existing chapter 28 reveal of eren's backstory and it's too short to be a standalone chapter. this is eren's true backstory, but reader only knows what she was told in his version from their date. what changed. nothing. ft. eren, zeke, jean, armin, floch, fem!reader. cw. explicit language, mention of canonical character death, coping with loss and grief, toxic masculinity, disparaging comments about women, angst. 3,916 words.

Please consider this supplemental information to complement Eren's retelling of his life to Reader in Chapter 28. This is not necessary to read to understand the story but might add some additional detail and context to what was revealed.

context. None needed.

Eren’s mom passed away when he was seventeen.

It was supposed to be a routine surgery. She was getting a lump checked out in her stomach — just a routine biopsy procedure. But due to complications, she didn’t make it through the night.

Eren was distraught — how could this happen? His father was a doctor, he should’ve been able to save her. But instead, he wasn’t even in the city when the procedure was happening. He was away for work at the Marley General Hospital instead of in Paradis with his wife.

He didn’t come home for another week after the death of Carla Jaeger. Eren was left to make arrangements for his mother’s funeral service with the help of Armin’s grandfather. By the time Grisha Jaeger returned to Paradis, Carla was already in the ground.

Eren didn’t understand why Grisha didn’t care — why he wasn’t around for the woman he supposedly loved, but it quickly became clear when Grisha began to pack up their home.

“We’re moving to Marley,” he had explained, like it was obvious. “There’s nothing here for us.”

“What about school? My friends?” Eren asked, throat raw from screaming. “Where were you?”

“I was with my family,” he said, not even looking away from the clothes he was stuffing into boxes. “You’re coming with me, Eren.”

Eren refused. Instead, bouncing between Armin and Jean’s homes for the rest of high school and then moving into the dorms at Paradis University after graduation. His best friends kept him breathing — reminded him to eat and sleep and bathe after losing both of his parents.

But they just didn’t understand him.

Eren met Zeke for the first time just outside of the stadium on his way out after a game. Zeke was cloaked in shadows, smoking outside of the rink as he called Eren to come close.

“Uh… hi?” Eren said, stepping into the darkness. His hands felt clammy in his pockets and he started feeling nervous about venturing away from his friends like this, but there was just something about Zeke that drew him in.

“Eren,” he said, speaking around the cigarette in his mouth. “Do you know who I am?”

Eren shook his head in response and sucked his cheek into his mouth, chewing on it in thought.

“I’m Zeke.” Eren felt his blood run cold. “Zeke Jaeger.”

“Oh,” Eren said, and he looked down at his feet to kick at the pavement with the toe of his shoe. “Ok.”

“You don’t seem shocked. Have you heard of me?”

“Kind of.”

Zeke took a long drag from his cigarette, breathing the smoke out into the air between them before speaking again. “I’d like to get to know you better, Eren.”

“Why’s that?”

“I think we have a lot in common.”

Eren snorted. “Well, I guess we both came from the same ballsack.”

Zeke didn’t seem amused.

After a long period of silence, Eren spoke again. “What do you want?”

“We were both victims of your father.”

Eren shrugged, still looking away from Zeke’s intense gaze. He felt small and weak, like a child, despite them being the same height. There was just something about Zeke that felt large and imposing — almost threatening.

“It isn’t your fault that we were born to that disgusting monster of a man. We are but pitiful victims,” Zeke explained, taking another long drag, “You need someone to rescue you, Eren.”

Eren felt his heart twisting in his chest and he looked up at Zeke through his hair.

“I will not abandon you like he did,” Zeke continued. “Let me show you what I’ve learned.”

Zeke reached out to touch him and Eren felt a surge of electricity shooting from Zeke’s fingertips into Eren’s skin. “I’m the only person that can understand you, Eren.”

Zeke’s advice was toxic — Eren knew that. But Eren was lonely and it felt good to connect with someone who understood him in a way that none of his other friends did. His other friends didn’t understand what it felt like to feel like this — so hollow and empty — all the time.

Armin was the only other person that Eren could relate to, but Eren’s wounds were fresh and Armin’s were long scabbed over. Eren felt guilty making Armin relive the trauma of his parents’ death just to make him feel better.

So, he spent a lot of time talking to Zeke. Learning his ideologies and his perspectives on life. Eren didn’t necessarily believe in all of them, but it was easier to let Zeke take him under his wing than to resist and be alone, again.

Zeke’s advice to fill the gaping hole in Eren’s chest was to fill it with women. To use their bodies for sexual gratification and validation. Eren was always popular with girls at school, but after becoming close with Zeke, he became a terror.

Eren’s gaze changed when he entered a party. Instead of being bright and excited, it was now dark and stormy — like a predator hunting its prety. Eren would duck away from all of his friends during the night, find some cute girl with a short skirt and a low-cut top, and then take her with him into a bedroom until he had his fill.

The first few times, it felt good.

Eren felt wanted. He felt appreciated. And most importantly — he didn’t feel lonely.

But the more women he slept with and the closer he became with Zeke, it became harder and harder to chase that high. It wasn’t working anymore.

He couldn’t even return to the warmth of friendship with his group from high school anymore, things just felt too different. Armin was busy all of the time with school, so he rarely got to see him, and Jean had become closer to Connie and Sasha. Eren didn’t just feel lonely anymore, he felt abandoned.

So, he spent more time with people who thought the way he did — the way Zeke did. He found himself growing closer to some of the other guys on the Scouts, the Devils, they called themselves. Eren didn’t feel as lonely when he was with them. There was a sense of camaraderie he felt that he didn’t have with his other friends, but it still all revolved around women.

How many women they could sleep with. How many nudes they had on their phone. How many matches they had on Tinder.

Eren was attractive and popular, so it was easy to get attention. And the more attention he got from girls, the more that the Devils wanted to be with him. It made him feel valued — it made him feel wanted.

Jean was the first to notice his change in the behaviour.

Jean didn’t think anything of it at first. There was nothing wrong with wanting to hook up with a cute girl at a party, Jean was guilty of doing that himself sometimes — but Eren was starting to do it at every single party.

Even during the weekdays when they were studying together at the library, Jean would look over at Eren’s phone and see some dating app open. It was unusual, but Jean didn’t think it was a problem until it was too late.

He caught Eren and Floch talking quietly together in the locker room after practice one night, and he couldn’t help but step in when he saw Floch pulling out his phone.

“What are you guys doing?” Jean asked and the two boys froze like deer caught in the headlights, but Eren relaxed quickly, realizing it was only Jean.

“It’s cool, man, come over here.”

Wary, Jean approached cautiously, standing next to Floch so him and Eren could peer down at Floch’s phone.

“Look at the messages this chick is sending me,” Floch said and he scrolled through his text conversation with a girl. Jean recognized her name — she was in one of his classes — she was sweet and nice, but the things she was saying were absolutely filthy.

“Jesus, Floch,” Jean groaned, taking a step away. “That’s private, you shouldn’t be showing us.”

“Oh, come on,” Eren goaded, clicking his tongue. “She wouldn’t be saying this shit if she didn’t want the whole team to know.”

Eren grabbed Floch’s phone out of his hand and cleared his throat dramatically before reading out one of the messages in a comically high voice. “Ohhh, Floch! I'm soooo wet! I can't stop thinking about your big, fat cock!”

Eren and Floch erupted into laughter as Jean looked over at them in disgust. “What the fuck? Guys. She’s a nice girl, she wouldn’t be happy if she found out you were sharing her messages.”

“There’s no such thing as a nice girl, Jean,” Eren scoffed. “All of them just wanna suck and fuck — I guarantee it.”

The vulgarity of Eren’s words had Jean recoiling in shock. “What?”

“It’s human biology,” Eren explained as Floch nodded along emphatically. “Girls wanna get fucked and guys wanna do the fucking — you can’t fight it.” He gestured toward Floch’s phone as Jean looked over at them in horror. “Once Floch’s done with her, you can have a turn, too.”

“She’s a solid eight in bed,” Floch added.

“What is wrong with you?” Jean asked, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, this was all so out of character from the Eren he knew growing up. “Why are you saying stuff like that?”

“It’s the truth,” Floch said and Jean blinked at him in confusion.

Eren nudged Floch in the side, drawing his attention before loudly whispering, “Jean hasn’t met Zeke, yet.”

“Who’s Zeke?”

Eren approached Jean, palms up in a non-threatening manner. “Do you ever notice how women are attracted to wealth and power? You probably saw that a lot growing up, with your dad.”

Jean bristled, clenching his jaw tightly as he watched Eren take another step closer.

“Women don’t care what you look like or how nice you are or how smart you are,” Eren explained. “They only care about how you can provide for them.”

“And what exactly are you providing for them, Eren?” Jean spat, eyes narrowing.

“I’m on the hockey team,” Eren said. “Just like you and just like Floch — we can offer these girls access to the coolest parties. It’s a jump in social status to be seen with guys like us.”

Jean opened his mouth to argue, but Eren cut him off by continuing. “You must’ve noticed it by now, right? The girls that throw themselves at us, who write our jersey number on their tits — they want us, Jean.”

“I don’t really pay attention,” Jean admitted, feeling uncomfortable as Eren drew closer. “You know I don’t like that shit — I don’t like hooking up.”

“Right. You want a girlfriend,” Eren scoffed and Floch laughed from somewhere behind him. “If you really want a girlfriend, you better hope you find a virgin, because women can’t pair bond after having sex with multiple men.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Jean countered, taking another step back. “Who told you this shit?”

“She’s not your girl, Jean. It’s just your turn,” Eren said finally with a shrug, as if that was sufficient to convince Jean.

Instead, Jean snapped back. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you even hear what you’re saying right now?”

“You should talk to Zeke,” Floch chimed in. “He explains it really well.”

“Who’s Zeke?” Jean repeated, brows furrowing.

“Jean wouldn’t understand,” Eren said over his shoulder to Floch. “He’s not like us.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Jean hissed. “Stop acting like this — this isn’t you.”

“Don’t act like you understand me, Jean,” Eren snapped, frowning. “You don’t get it. You never will.”

“Help me, then,” Jean pleaded, voice dropping to a whisper as he stepped in toward Eren. “Help me understand what’s going on, Eren.”

But Eren rolled his eyes and walked back to Floch.

Zeke treated women like they were his little playthings. He was smart enough to target innocent girls, barely legal girls, virgin girls — because they were so susceptible to his manipulation. All Zeke had to do was tell them how they were so mature for their age — how they weren’t like their peers — how he’s never felt this way about anyone else… and they were putty in his hands.

Eren was no better, sleeping with women he met at parties — charming them into falling in love with him just enough that they would let him into their bedrooms. He was guilty of going after pretty little virgins too, sometimes — but they were often too much work and Eren usually found himself bored with the chase.

Where Eren left a trail of broken hearts, Zeke left a wasteland of broken people — people who were so dependent on him, caught up in his snare of abuse and degradation, thinly veiled behind sickly sweet words.

The first time Eren met one of Zeke’s victims, he was horrified. She was a first-year at the university that Zeke taught at — she was one of his students.

Eren was staying at Zeke’s apartment for the weekend so the two brothers could prowl for girls together at the bar and she had stopped by in the middle of the night, moments after Eren had sent his girl home in an Uber.

He answered the door to find an impossibly tall girl, hunched over and sobbing, begging to see Zeke. Alarmed, Eren rushed to go find his brother to go comfort her, but he told Eren to turn her away.

“Can’t you see I’m busy?” Zeke hissed, speaking around the small blonde bouncing on his lap. Eren kept his eyes on the ceiling to avoid looking at the two.

“Dude, she’s crying. Just come out and talk to her.”

Zeke huffed, tossing the girl onto the bed before pulling on a pair of sweatpants from the ground. He walked past Eren to the doorway of the apartment as Eren quietly followed behind him.

“Yes?” Zeke asked, clearly annoyed.

“Zeke — you haven’t answered any of my calls… any of my messages. I just want to make sure you aren’t mad at me.”

“Oh, I am,” he spat, and even Eren flinched. “What do you think you’re doing, showing up at my place in the middle of the night?”

“I was worried, Zeke, I —”

“Can’t you see I’m a grown man? I don’t need you to worry about me. If I wanted to reach out to you, I would have.”

“Did I do something wrong? I just —”

“Yes, you did a lot of things wrong, in fact,” he hissed. “Calling me when I told you not to. Showing up here. Talking to me during class when I explicitly told you that we aren’t to be seen together in public.”

“I’m sorry, I just —”

“Don’t apologize. I’m tired of constantly having to babysit you. You need to leave.”

“Zeke, I —”

He slammed the door shut in her face with a huff, turning to look at Eren with a shake of his head. “I need a cigarette,” he laughed, reaching for the box in his pocket before pulling out one. “Join me?”

Eren trailed after Zeke to the balcony, watching as Zeke lit up the smoke and took a long drag. 

“What was wrong with that girl?” Eren asked quietly and Zeke shrugged.

“I was bored of her.”

“Did you need to be so mean?”

Zeke glanced at Eren from the corner of his eye, elbows resting on the ledge of the balcony before taking another long drag. “Did seeing that upset you?” he asked condescendingly.

Eren shook his head, but he knew Zeke could see right through him.

“You’re upset because she was crying? Is that it?” Zeke probed, breathing smoke out of his nostrils. “Haven’t you seen a girl cry before?”

“Not like that,” Eren said quietly. 

“You think the women that you kick out of your bedroom in the middle of the night aren’t crying in the backseat of their Ubers?” Zeke challenged, quirking up a brow. “That the women whose virginities you take don’t cry when you ignore their messages the next day?”

Eren frowned, looking away from Zeke and toward the city.

“Nothing to say to that?” Zeke chuckled, and Eren remained quiet. “Don’t act like what I’m doing is wrong when you’re guilty of the same, Eren.”

Eren looked down at his hands, interlaced together as he rested his forearms on the ledge of the balcony. He chewed on his cheek for a moment, considering Zeke’s words and what he saw earlier this evening, and he nodded.

“You’re right.”

Armin didn’t ask questions when Eren showed up at his dorm in the early hours of the morning. He just stepped aside and let Eren into his room, watching him shrug off his jacket before crawling under the blankets of Armin’s bed.

Armin crawled in behind him, laying next to Eren as the two boys looked up at the ceiling. They stayed quiet for a long time together before Eren finally spoke.

“Zeke’s an asshole.”

Armin snorted.

“I don’t want to be like them,” Eren whispered. “Like Zeke and Dad…”

“You don’t have to be,” Armin says quietly into the darkness. “Not anymore.”

Eren sighed, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Everything fucking sucks, Armin.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Eren said. “I just want to forget.”

“No, you don’t.”

Eren frowned, pulling his hands away from his face to look over at Armin beside him. 

“I know it hurts a lot, right now,” Armin said, “but trust me — you don’t want to forget about her. Not the sound of her voice, the smell of her perfume… all of her little quirks, and all the memories you have of her… hold on to them.

“You’re going to grieve for the rest of your life,” Armin continued. “There’s no such thing as getting over it. Some days are going to be worse than others: Mother’s Day, Christmas, birthdays… but you’ll learn to live with it. You’ll heal and keep living… Carla wouldn’t want anything less from you,” Armin said.

“Yeah,” Eren croaked, his voice strained. “Do you think she knew?”

“About what?”

“About Dad’s other family,” Eren said with a shaky breath. “I hope she didn’t… it would’ve broken her heart.”

Armin said nothing, just reaching a hand out to interlace his fingers with Eren’s. 

Eren gave Armin a small squeeze but turned his head to look back at the ceiling. In the dull light from the rising sun outside, Armin could see streaks of tears running from the corner of Eren’s eye to his ear and the way Eren kept chewing his lip — but he said nothing.

It had been almost four years since Carla Jaeger passed away, three years since Eren first met Zeke, and almost a year since Eren was last in Armin’s dorm.

Eren had never spoken to Armin about how the death of his mom affected him. Even when Eren was staying with Armin and his grandpa, he wouldn’t say anything about it — just plaster a fake smile on his face during school before curling into himself under the blankets back at home.

Jean mentioned to Armin that Eren would do the same thing when he stayed at the Kirstein’s.

After meeting Zeke, Eren didn’t hide away in his bed anymore — atleast, not alone. His smile still seemed fake and forced, but he kept pushing his friends away to the point where it felt futile to try to crack his shell.

Armin tried to be there for Eren, tried to make sure that Eren still knew he could rely on him, but it was challenging when every interaction between Eren and Jean turned into an argument. Armin was growing tired of playing referee and Jean refused to listen to reason.

“Eren is disgusting,” Jean would say. “Why are you wasting your time trying to help him?”

“He’s our friend,” Armin pleaded, “he needs our help.”

“He doesn’t want our help.”

Eren was trying to force his friends away, couldn’t Jean see that? Armin begged Jean to be patient with him, to be understanding, but even he struggled to speak to Eren sometimes once he started reciting Zeke’s misogynistic talking points.

After Eren and Jean’s big fight, Eren distanced himself completely from everyone who wasn’t a part of Zeke’s group chat: The Devils of Paradis.

Armin watched from the sidelines as Eren kept forcing a smile on his face and tried to fill the ache in his chest with a different woman every weekend. Armin worried that he lost his best friend forever.

But now, having Eren lay beside him in bed like they used to do as kids — Armin felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

“She would’ve hated Zeke,” Eren laughed, but his body shook like he was sobbing. “She’d be really disappointed in me.”

“She would’ve forgiven you,” Armin said. He could feel the strain in his chest and the tears burning behind his eyes and he squeezed Eren’s hand a little tighter. “Everyone deserves forgiveness.”

“Even me?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow at work, cutie,” Eren teased, pulling up in front of your home and rolling his vehicle to a stop.

You frowned at him, unbuckling your seatbelt before sticking your tongue out at him playfully. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Eren leaned forward, cupping your face in his hand before you could run away, and gently brushed your cheek with his thumb. You still had tearstains on your cheeks from earlier when you were crying and his heart twisted at the sight.

“Don’t let this job get to you,” he said quietly.

He thought about kissing you. He thought about asking if he could come inside and spend the night with you. He wanted to wrap you in his arms and cradle you tight against his chest until you stopped looking so hurt and crushed.

It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling, and Eren found himself frowning and pulling his hand back and away from your face.

“Thanks, Eren,” you said, before slinking out of the car and running back into your home.

Eren watched you duck inside, sitting idle in his car until he saw the door close behind you and the front porch light turn off. He dug into the pocket of his sweats and pulled out his phone, flipping open an unread text message from Floch from earlier that evening.

Floch you goin to see jean’s roommate again? lmk if she’s gotten any better in bed looool

His thumbs hovered over the keyboard for a moment as he looked down at the screen. He had been sending Floch ratings of your performance during sex for the past while since the two of you started hooking up — even after cutting things off with Zeke, some habits stuck.

It was just for fun. It was just words — nobody was getting hurt. At least, that’s how Eren rationalized it.

Eren’s phone vibrated in his hand as another message appeared.

Floch and when u sending those nudes? i wanna see her tits

Eren frowned down at his phone, feeling heat rush through his body from Floch’s words and he quickly typed up a response.

Eren fuck off dude

#tbaw.fic #tbaw.deleted #tiff.fic

[unhonestlymirror]

This scene genuinely left me speechless. Imagine that your mom was murdered before your eyes, and now you have to live with a step-sister who's doing her best at making you happier and protecting you even from her own mom. Yes, your step-mom is a bit of a heartless bitch, although I believe there were plenty of ways to make her stand on your side if I were Lisa, it just required a little bit of talking and simple psychology, although Lisa is good in neither of them. Lisa is also not very close to her father either, at least, through her eyes, we see him as a completely careless and passive person (although he's actually not like this).

However, Lisa is relatively close to Taffy.

How can she throw Taffy's mom's corpse like this and look at it like this and don't have Taffy's face before her eyes? How can she smile like this when she herself lost her mom, who was murdered?

Even if Taffy's mom was a complete monster (although my mom, when she's really angry, can say even more horrible things, and then apologise for that later because "she was not herself", so idk, angry moms often say one thing and do another, you shouldn't take it close to the heart.) Although, Taffy's mom wasn't a complete monster, objectively. I really appreciate how the movie makes us see her as a villainness that deserves to be punished - but, in fact, she's not. Asking a teen who broke a mirror on purpose being drunk af to clean the bathroom - how is that a punishment? In my family, cleaning after yourself is a normal thing to do. In my family, my dad whom I love very much and who never raised a hand on me, would actually slap me in the face several times if I came back home high and drunk. I guess it's a normal thing to feel when your child comes back home high, drunk and probably raped.

Those words about Lisa's job were truly heartless (although we still don't know the full context and the rules within this family, e.g., they may pay for all the life-studies needs of Lisa but for everything else, like unnecessary stuff, Lisa may pay all by herself, which is also objectively not a bad thing.)

The Taffy's mom & Lisa interactions are based on complete misunderstandings and the lack of desire to talk with each other and listen to each other - which eventually led to the tragedy. But still, about the Creature - who the fuck do you think you are to believe you can fix this family's problems with murder of their fucking mom? who is clearly not in her mind while having a severe mental breakdown and yelling those horrible things? Arguments like that are being solved through calming down -> some tea -> talking - NOT FUCKING VIOLENCE AND MURDER. Taffy's mom would be a monster if she never come to Lisa's room but just straight up went to the phone and called for the orderlies from the mental hospital. Although, I don't think in the US a minor can be placed there without the agreement of both parents at least???

Any family, even the healthiest one, still requires a lot of effort put in it. Families which are being sewed together due to someone's death require even more effort. It is always a long way of tears, screams, hurtful words, neglect and misunderstandings - but it's worth it. And it never, NEVER becomes better if you apply more violence, it only makes things worse.

And when Lisa didn't seem even a little upset after Creature cut off Taffy's mom's ear - it made me so disappointed. It's like if Taffy never existed before. It's like if Taffy never had any place in Lisa's heart. I believe a human with a heart would have never reacted like Lisa did. Moreover, Lisa doesn't think at all about what her dad will feel after losing his second wife due to murder.

I turned off the movie for a while after this, and I've cried a lot. I don't understand it. As a Ukrainian refugee who saw death - I don't understand it. I don't even want to understand it, this is so heartless and inhuman. When you experience death - even the death of people whom you really hate puts you into grief - because those terrible people still had a chance to become better - but now they never will. They never will! Cause they were murdered! They are dead!! Do you even understand what death means?!

And then Lisa sees Taffy, who just lost her mom, with that guy - and she still doesn't have any regrets in her mind. Honestly, fuck this shit. Lisa is a bitch who doesn't give a single fuck about her close ones, and Creature is a good match for her.

#just some thoughts #lisa frankenstein

[faithlesbian]

trans angel thesis post

so me and @titsgirlbuffy​ on our joint watch noticed this line (in my header image!) from btvs s1e7 and immediately thought hehehe well he said he’s not a man, that means He’s Trans. partly due to the existing bank of star trek characters who clearly meant they werent human but just happened to phrase it a certain way -- its great fun to just take these lines out of context and run with them

[ID: angel in a darkly lit scene saying “I can walk like a man, but I’m not one.”]

the thing is tho the further we got the more trans angel material we kept finding. like we weren’t even looking it was just There. so it went from basically a joke to the actual lens through which we’re now watching ats so. here’s the trans angel thesis post i guess!

so obviously this line was intended to mean hes a demon. its from the episode where we first find out hes a vampire, so the writers are clearly using “not a man” to mean “not a human being” as mentioned before. but then there’s the flashbacks in ats s1e15 to when he was alive and definitely human which...

[ID: three screenshots of angel and his father in 1700s dress. his father says “It’s a son I wished for! A man! Instead, God gave me you.” while Angel looks hurt]

i remember another post (which i will try and find and link to) saying that darla was trapped by societal confines of womanhood and she was drawn to angel bc he was being crushed by societal expectations of masculinity -- “being a man” was something he resoundingly failed at in life. crucially also his birth name, Liam, is left off his headstone and no one ever calls him it again. in contrast to spike for example, who still responds to William, Angel seems to consider Liam to effectively be his deadname (which is funny yk given he only used it when he was alive), and both of his chosen names, Angelus and Angel, are much less masculine.

spike regularly refers to himself as a man, he also sometimes acknowledges that he’s not technically a man meaning not human, but for him this is paired with wishing he could be a man (”i know that i’m a monster, but you treat me like a man” btvs s5e22, “to be a kind of man...” s7e22). in every sense masculinity isn’t something that seems to cause him any kind of distress to be associated with, and while he still has a fascinating relationship to gender i think you’d be hard pushed to say he doesn’t identify as male (tho i’d love to hear any takes on that!!).

on the other hand, here we have one of the few times angel willingly refers to himself as a man in btvs s3e10

[ID: two screenshots of angel, crying and facing buffy, saying “It’s not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It’s the man.”]

if there is a part of himself that he sees as a man, its something he associates with guilt, failure and weakness. obviously there’s other layers to this scene but i do think the word choice is interesting!!

and then theres what i consider one of the seminal trans angel episodes, ats s2e6. first of all he admits that he changes his appearance based on how he wants other people to see him, that he’s worried about what they think. the character he’s talking to in these scenes tells him since he doesn’t have an actual reflection, his outward appearance only matters when considering the people around him, and that there’s two versions of him -- “the image you’ve worked so hard to create, and the real you.”

[ID: Angel, looking concerned and saying “Maybe my persona is a little affected”]

his outward - masculine - presentation is something he maintains for the sake of what others think of him, it’s not an authentic expression of who he is (see this post by @buffyology​ on how he literally seems to get his whole wardrobe directly from mens fashion magazines). also in this episode, he refers to the aspects of himself that he’s repressing as “it” -- dehumanising but also degendering the things he doesn’t want to come to the surface

[ID: four screenshots of dialogue between angel and another character out of frame. he asks angel “it?” to which angel responds “the demon.” the other character then says “ah. But the demon is you.” angel says “no”, the other character responds “yes. That’s the thing you’ve spent so much energy trying to conceal.”]

he explicitly labels the things about himself he’s afraid of other people seeing with a genderless pronoun, lumping in the demonic aspects of himself alongside the other things being hidden by his artificial masculine outward presentation. he hates himself for being a vampire, and for having done awful things in the past, but also for failing to live up to the expectations of masculinity that he’s still hollowly trying to perform now as he was when he was alive.

masculinity is tied to humanity which is tied to morality -- he ascribes the bad parts of himself to “the demon” which is also genderless, he equates his failure to be a good person with his failure to be a man. in ats s1e15 his father tells him he’s neither a son nor a man, and later on in the same episode darla tells a freshly turned angelus that he’ll never be able to get his father’s approval and that his defeat will last lifetimes -- he’s still trying to prove himself a man and he’s never going to succeed. in ats s2e5 we get this exchange as darla burns angel with a cross

 [ID: three screenshots of a standoff between angel and darla, in the first two he holds her by the throat while she burns him with a crucifix. she says “See? No matter how good a boy you are... God doesn’t want you.” In the third screenshot she stands apart and says “But I still do.”]

Darla's word choice in this scene also links masculinity to morality and humanity - essentially saying he will never be a good enough person nor perform masculinity convincingly enough to be accepted by anyone but her, because he's a vampire and he can't change this fact of who his is.

but it’s not a moral failing not to want to be a man, and as much as angel tries to hide and repress it it’s still going to come through because it’s just who he is. while trying his best to Look like a man, he’s still finding ways to assert his identity through his choice of name and aversion to gendered language

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “More than you might think, Mr. Angel.” “Just Angel”]

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “Yeah, I’m gonna  have to go with Dead Boy on this one.” “Could you not call me that?”] And  then there’s this scene where he’s talking about the differences  between him and Cordelia and like, i get the joke but also. come on. he  cannot commit to calling himself a man without chickening out

[ID: two screenshots dodgily cropped and stitched together to just show subtitles - “Human. Vampire. Woman. Man... pire.”]  admittedly most of these lines have fairly obvious intended meanings and me and @titsgirlbuffy  were likely picking up on the subtext mostly because we were watching  both shows through this lens. it could be argued as a niche reading - up  until ats s3e6 that is, in which there’s a guy called Billy who can  curse men to become fucked up and evil, who tries to curse Angel, only  for him to be immune. A curse. That only affects men. to which he is,  randomly, immune.

[ID: four screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “[Cordelia] I  don’t get it.” Angel replies “I don’t get it, either.” and Cordelia  continues “I mean, you’re a man, so, why didn’t Billy’s touch affect  you?”]   I cannot stress enough that they genuinely didn’t have a good  reason -- whoever wrote this episode hadn’t come up with a decent  explanation as to why angel was immune to the Curse That Affects Men.  This is not a great episode but I do consider it to be basically canon  confirmation that Angel at the very least isn’t cis.So to  conclude, Angel is nonbinary/transfemme and has been trying and failing  to perform masculinity well enough to hide this since he was alive. He  objects to being called masculine terms and almost never refers to  himself as a man, he changed his name to something more androgynous and  refuses to go by his old name, and he admits to dressing and acting a  certain way to seem more normal and masculine in other people’s eyes. He  associates the parts of himself that he hates, fears, and represses,  with genderlessness. And he is immune to a curse that only affects men.  thank you for reading this long fucking post!

[shadamyheadcanons]

Submission #103: Yet Another Take On Shadamy (Black Arms Edition Part 2)

((Admin's note: this is a sequel to a previous submission. Both were written by @just-a-guy119, not me. I'm clarifying this now because I've been complimented for these before, but it's their work, not mine. Credit where credit is due!))

--

He doesn't know how she does it, just a few moments ago he was overwhelmed, he'd broken a promise to someone yet again however she easily managed to soothe him…it was an odd sensation…but not exactly unpleasant either…

After his breathing had calmed down Amy ended up letting go of him, along with the warmth that came from her. She leant back against the wall, letting out a sigh of relief as the two just sit there for a minute, trying to catch their breath, Amy still wincing and clutching her shoulder.

"So…part alien?"

Amy breaks the ice as she gets up but winces slightly, she rubs her bandages and realises that she's still in pain but there's not much else she can do right now. After a few moments Shadow follows suit and stands to his feet, stretching slightly.

"Yeah"

Shadow sighs, looking around before the two decide to walk however he continues in a tired tone.

"The Black Arms have come for the Chaos Emeralds…how or why they know of them Im unsure of…but it has something to do with Gerald…"

The ultimate lifeform explains, trying to give as much context as he can to the currently clueless hedgehog who just nods her head, attempting to understand the whole thing before suddenly stopping in her tracks, shadow walks a few steps ahead of her before realising and turning around.

Amy seems to be just standing there, looking at the ground, to say this confused the ultimate lifeform is an understatement, he begins to walk up to the frozen hedgehog, asking what's going on before she speaks again.

"OH CHAOS I FORGOT ABOUT CREAM!"

She shouts to no-one in particular, smacking her forehead and muttering that she's an idiot with shadow taken aback slightly, Sonic had warned him of her tendency to kinda…as he put it…

Explode

…but after seeing it for himself, he agrees…that is a fitting word for it…

"Cream? Like…whipped cream?"

Shadow questions, pausing between each word looking perplexed…Amy looks at him with an angry look before realising something herself, then her facial features soften which Shadow admits looks cute…

"Oh yeah…we never ran into each other during our last adventure when Metal sonic became all kaiju so you never met her…

Im looking for Cream the rabbit, she's a good friend of mine but she's lost here in Cryptic Castle, told me she was looking for Cheese"

She explains, now it was Shadows turn to try and understand as he nods along before he opens his mouth to ask a question however Amy interrupts him.

"By Cheese I mean the name of her Chao, not the food"

Shadow closes his mouth and nods his head finally understanding however Amy quickly asks what he's even doing here, cryptic Castle is out of the way of any major cities and she doubts theres a chaos emerald lying around here however Shadow thinks for a second…

"I'm looking for the doctor…maybe he can fix what control Black Doom has over me"

Shadow ponders as the both of them deciding to speed ahead now, the two keeping pace with one another…

Shadow ponders, ever since he's been with Amy, he hasn't had any flashbacks or migraines about his memories…it can't just be her calming nature though, surely it's because he's away from Black doom so has more control over his thought.

"CHAOS SPEAR!"

Three yellow bolts of light appear from shadow, heading right towards the black arms solders currently blocking the path. Two of the regular solders jump out if the way however the bigger creature takes a direct hit, causing it to stumble back…

"Alright shadow!"

Amy cheers on, jumping up into the air and slamming her hammer onto the alien soldier currently blocking her path. As Shadow jumps up and launches a flurry of punches and kicks onto the remaining black arms soldiers, the bigger one the chaos spear had collided with back up with its purple jagged sword and goes to slash at the currently preoccupied Shadow.

Shadow turns his head and realises he isn't going to be able to react in time so he closes his eyes, bracing for impact however a second later all he hears is a 'clang' sound. The hedgehog opens his eyes to see that Amy intercepted the attack with her hammer and the two are clashing together…to say her strength is impressive would be an understatement.

"H-hurry…i-can't hold it much longer!"

Amy calls out, her body shaking as she falls to one knee, her wound from before burning as she puts strain on her shoulder. Shadow nods his head and quickly finishes off the grunts in front of him before jumping back onto the wall behind him and launching a homing attack right towards the towering Alien, causing it to stumble back however Shadow follows it up by activating the booster on his shoe and unleashing a kick, burning its face as it falls down, this time staying down.

"T-thanks…I swear I'm not usually this weak"

Amy says, wincing as she drops her hammer and clutches her shoulder as her bandages come undone…

Shadow quickly rushes over to her and puts her arm over his shoulder as to help her up, she thanks him as he just remains silent, questioningly giving her a glance before looking around for any way to help her but he finds something…a floating gray box with an antenna on it…it seemed to be moving sporadically but he could hear a voice coming from it…as the monitor turns around hes barely able to catch the doctors face on the end of what seems to be a screen as it flies off to presumably regroup with more of his robots…

Shadow looks down to Amy only to realise she's now unconscious, he grits his teeth and scolds himself for getting distracted, he softly nudges army's head with his free hand but to no avail… he sighs

"Shouldn't have let my guard down…"

As he hurries along, he realises the way he's holding her doesn't allow him to go too fast so instead he readjusts himself and picks her up bridal style… A thought occurs to him…he could use chaos control but its clear normal medication didn't have much of an effect for long and since Amy is looking for her friend, he doubts she wants to wake up in a completely different place…

Shadow skates off, clutching Amy tight as he weaves between Black Arms Soldiers and Eggman's forces attack one another, though as much as Shadow could do, his maneuverability was hindered so eventually his luck ran out in the form of a stray rocket from one of the doctors robots ending up landing right in front of the two.

Shadow couldn't jump out of the way, so instead he quickly spun around and taking the brunt of the blast, sending the two flying off the platform that connects the towers they had been traversing together.

As they're falling, Shadow looks down and notices a small interior area and decides he's going to need to land there…though before he can readjust himself he goes flying right through the roof head first, still clutching onto Amy however as he crashes in the center of a room, his hold of Amy breaks as she goes flying out if his arms, tumbling to the side as Shadow is send back into the wall, cracking it…

"Ugh…"

After a few moments Shadow lifts himself up and rubs the back of his head in pain now having a headache linger on and his vision blurred before quickly glancing up at the incoherent mess which seems to be an unconscious Amy…As his vision quickly sharpens he sees someone else, a small cream coloured rabbit in an orange dress tending to Amy's wound…

"Cream the rabbit I presume…"

Shadow says in a small groan before standing up and looking around, finding that the three of them seem to be in a storage room…

"Um, yes I am…You must be Mr Shadow"

The kind young girl quickly bows before helping Amy with her wound as Shadow walks over and helps her…

"No need for formalities, have we met before? I don't seem to recall you and you know my name"

Shadow says, G.U.N had been adamant of removing all records and traces of Project Shadow and anything linked to it so not many people know of his existence.

Shadow pulls out an emerald whilst Cream is finishing up replacing the bandages that Amy had previously…

Shadow then hovers his hand, holding the green chaos emerald, over Amy's wound as he closes his eyes with the rabbit standing back. After a few seconds a small gust of wind emitting from Shadow with his quills fanning in the wind as the emerald begins to glow green, suddenly a small aura forms around Amy's wound before it disappears and Shadow let's out a deep breath…

"Um…no Mr Shadow we haven't met. Though Amy does like to talk about you a lot"

The younger girl giggles with Shadows chest feeling strange and his face feeling warm, luckily the young girl hadn't looked up to notice the warmth forming on his muzzle however it quickly cools down…

"Don't put it like that Cream….you make it sound…obsessive…"

Amy suddenly stirs awake, slurring her words as the two help her lean upright…

"Amy! You're okay!"

Cream cries out and pulls her into a hug, causing Amy to wince but also embrace it before the two part, suddenly the pink hedgehog calls out in surprise.

"Wait Cream!? How did you find us?"

Amy questions in surprise, however as before shadow can respond, Cream says that the both if them came crashing through the roof with Shadow mentally facepalming. Amy quickly turns to Shadow with a smile.

"Thanks for looking after me, I promise I won't be a burden again"

Amy says, feeling slightly guilty however Shadow shakes his head.

"You needed help, there's nothing wrong with that. You're not weak or a burden for relying on others sometimes"

He says, the three of them standing to their feet with the ultimate lifeform clutches his head. The headache not going away was strange, his healing factor would've dealt with it by now but instead his vision is blurred, only able to stay upright by leaning one hand against the wall beside him…

"Mr Shadow! What's wrong?

Cream asks with shadow shaking his head as his vision steadily comes and goes from sharp to blurred, Amy then looks to cream and asks a question.

"You sad we crashed through the roof right-"

Amy points towards the hole in the roof however Cream shakes her head

"No, Mr Shadow shielded you, I think he might have a concussion. My mum has taught me alot about medicine and injuries…that's how I knew to bandage you up"

Cream says proudly, still worried about Shadow.

"I'm fine…I just-I need a moment…"

Shadow says, readjusting his balance again before needing the wall for support as he begins to internally ask questions …why is he suddenly unable to stand straight…is it something to do with black doom?

Amy looks back at Shadow and looks at him eye to eye, squeezing his hand to reassure him before asking something…

"Could it have something to do with why your eyes are now yellow?

Something clicks in his mind…

"Black Doom must've made a failsafe in case he lost control of me…the Doctor might be able to help me get rid of it…"

Shadow says, looking at Amy with determination as he forces himself to stand straight as he walks ahead…alone…

"It's going to get dangerous, you two should leave"

He says looking back at the two before he continues

"I don't want either of you hurt…thanks for your help"

He finishes and attempts to walk off however both Cream and Amy rush over with the pink hedgehog grabbing his hand, causing a wave of warmth and calmness to fill his body.

"Oh no you don't Shadow, we'll deal with this together…plus we still need to find Cheese"

Amy says, more so demanding with a level of conviction that impresses him however he smirks…

"Yeah, you helped us so now we will help you! Thats what friends are for"

Cream excitedly says, with little to no fear in her voice, even upon seeing Aliens and Eggmans army battling right outside. Shadow lets out a small smile before his usual expression reforms.

"Fine…Rose I know you can handle yourself but Cream, listen to me at all times…"

Shadow sternly says with Cream nodding her head in excitement, Amy however feels a small blush creep upon her face upon the name he gave her…

Rose…

Cream glances at Amy looking completely shocked with a red face and giggles quietly before Shadow takes off, the two following behind at a moderate speed, shadow slowing down to allow the other two to catch up…

____________________

(Author Notes)

Yep, here's part 2. Honestly it had been so long since I wrote part 1, I kinda forgot where I was gonna go with this short story since I ended up losing my notes for this small oneshot so I've kinda had to make it up as I go along.

Most stories I've read about shadamy tend to focus on Amy's perspective, there are a few that focus on shadow hence why I've decided to focus this story from Shadows perspective though next chapter I do want to do it from Amy's perspective as it'd make more sense now.

From what I remember my original plan was to have this kinda "slot in" to a potential "definitive" route for shadow the hedgehog (the game) however my main goal for this "chapter" specifically is to kinda calm things down as last chapter had a lot of action from tonnes of perspectives and different locations.

Next chapter should pick up the pace quite a but this was mainly to allow the character room to breathe.

As for where I've been…life…responsibilities, all of that annoying stuff we gotta deal with.

Anyway next part should be the final part (let's hope it doesn't take a few months to release)

--

((Admin's note: well done! It's good to have a breather. I like the way Shadow's insistence that Amy shouldn't feel bad for needing help parallels Amy's insistence that he shouldn't have to be alone, either. I can absolutely see Shadow feeling like he needs to go it alone while not realizing the irony of not wanting others to do the same. I see Amy the same way, so it's really nice that they have each other. They need that.

Thank you as always! And don't worry about taking your time. I'm sure you know how long it took me to get around to sharing this. Life gets busy!))

#submission #ask #just-a-guy119

[hetafluidtexan]

Some of my ideas Switzerland & Liechtenstein's Relationship throughout time

(I will note first: These are just MY thoughts and reasoning, so if you don't agree with it that's fine, just please be civil about it, anyhow with that passed)

Overall, I tend to imagine Liechtenstein and Switzerland's happening in sort of four "phases" since i don't have a better word for it:

1) Strangers Phase

2) Rescue & Recovery Phase

3) Hero Worship Phase

4) Symbiotic Phase

Phase One - Strangers

Now tbh this isn't really a phase in the relationship, but I'm still going to include it to be complete and give some context to stuff

Firstly, I do not imagine them being siblings by blood/relation in any way. They have separate histories and backgrounds and outside of any AUs that state to the contrary you can assume that they are unrelated. They are both young adults that had nothing to do with each other until right after World War I when fate pushed them together, and on that note

Phase Two - Rescue & Recovery

So right after World War I Liechtenstein is kinda fucked as her economy is spiralling into a possible collapse due to embargos for having close relations with Austria. This leaves her ill, weak, and ready to go the way of the dinosaur as all her attempts to reverse the disaster don't do much.

Then you know what happens, Switzerland finds her on the street and decides letting this woman just die is kinda cringe and so takes her in. Then he helps her by letting her rest, recover, and heal up.

From this, and entering more headcanon territory, I actually tend to imagine she was rather surprised and shocked.

This is because she had a neglected childhood of sorts, with her own rulers living in Austria far more than in her lands, and while Austria himself did try to be there, he often was too busy with other matters to interact with her.

On top of this, she would have lived through eras of Might Makes Right & Royale Politik, watching as small states just as herself were torn apart and annexed by the nations around her; indeed she only even survived to 1914 by carefully playing the major powers against each other, positioning herself inbetween them, and using Royale Politik to make herself too costly to take due to allies.

All of this resulting in a somewhat cold and cynical view of the world, with an expectation nations only survived through military might or making themselves too costly to attack; while trust and caring for others was at best a form of bargaining or bribery, and at worst, a way to get behind someone to stab them in the back.

Meaning that when Switzerland did decide to help her unconditionally despite how easy it would have been to just conquer her, she was awed. An act of honest kindness in a world she expected to have made that kind of thing impossible had a large effect on her; enough to lead to

Phase Three - Hero Worship

This period in their relationship probably doesn't have a definitive "start" date but I do tend to imagine it as why her early relationship with Switzerland seemed to be so "Blindly follow whatever he says" and she's kind of learning how to do a healthy relationship.

She's kind of star struck and enamoured with Switzerland right after the fact, enough so she doesn't really consider his personal faults or issues with his ideas. He saved her and treated her with kindness when he had no ulterior reason to, so whatever he says or does must be equally good; even if she doesn't really get it personally.

It's here also we see Liech cutting her braids off and hair short to closer mimic Switz's own hair style. And later, putting away her old dress in favor of the military uniforms Switz wear (and accidentally the incident that gets Liech her ribbon lol). It's why she can come off as kind of one note here, since she really is just copying and following him blindly.

However, as time goes on and they start to get genuinely closer and learn more about one another, the glow around Switz fades. She still cares about him, but her idolization of him wanes, leading to

Phase Four - Symbiotic

The fourth and current "phase", a healthier and more symbiotic relationship between them. Liech isn't idolizing Switz anymore, but they still care deeply for each other and it's here you see that real de facto sibling relationship.

Liech will call out Switz on shit without hesitation like when she immediately picked up on the weird situation with him and Austria, and isn't going to blindly follow or copy him. She also is back to being a lot more independent and probably lives a lot on her own again, though still keeping close contact with Switz and visiting often between her own work and visiting others.

With the metaphorical symbiosis, what I mean is that both of them help each other in different but equally vital ways.

How Switz helps Liech is obvious, helping her physically in both a protection and support sense. She's not incapable or incompetent by any means, but she's a smaller young woman, and sometimes to solve a problem you just want some big muscles. Be that to fight off potential attackers or just help with carrying a lot of heavy equipment like looms, farm tools, and desks.

With Liech, it's not as obvious but equally important: she helps him on an emotional and mental level. She can act as someone he can vent to and be vulnerable around, and draws him out of his shell and a habit of simply bottling up his emotions and thoughts to let them stew. Now he is able to actually communicate those feelings, and has someone he can trust help him process and handle them. Along with that, her presence means he just isn't so alone. He still is a rather introverted person of course, but there is a fine difference between being alone and being lonely; and Liech helps him not be the latter as often or severely.

#hetalia liechtenstein #hetalia switzerland #aph liechtenstein #aph switzerland #hws liechtenstein #hws switzerland #hetalia hcs #hetalia headcanons #LT Hetalia headcanons #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #hetalia world stars #world stars hetalia #hetalia relationships