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lightandheatao3 · 5 months

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The Bunker - Criminal Minds

Chapter 1: The Bunker

Summary: Spencer Reid wakes up in a locked bunker to find half the current BAU and two of its departed members unconscious on the floor. The old team is back together but the reunion is not what any of them would have wished for. An Unsub from their past has decided it's time they all stop keeping secrets, even if it means exposing them by force.

Hotch and Derek have been pulled back into a world they tried to escape. Emily, Rossi, and JJ are doing their best to keep it together. Spencer is falling apart.

AKA a found family is reunited and forced to go through the most nightmarish version of family therapy imaginable.

Set months after the end of Criminal Minds: Evolution. Evolution referenced, but not necessary to understand the story.

Read chapter 1 on AO3 or under the cut. All comments and reblogs are so appreciated <3

Chapter 2 link

Spencer cracked his eyes open, flinching from the white fluorescent light and blinking hard against the groggy, dull ache in his head.

His mouth was dry, body heavy. A familiar wake up. He reached his hand out blindly for the relief waiting on his bedside table.

No- wait.

His lights are all yellow toned filament bulbs, not white fluorescents.

The smell was wrong. The dull electrical buzz in the air was louder, pitched higher.

His eyes shot open wide and he scrambled to his feet.

This wasn’t home.

He surveyed his surroundings, fighting the wave of dizziness that came with standing too abruptly.

“Oh no,” he said out loud. “Nonononono…”

The room was large and square and made entirely of concrete. Up the top a small vent, too high to reach and too small for a person to fit into. A heavy door with a double walled chamber for someone to put things into without having to interact with the person on the other side. The kind you would find in a maximum-security prison cell. The whole room felt like a prison cell, a place he’d hoped to never be again. At the back of the room a small en-suit that was completely stripped bare but for a metal toilet with no seat and a sink that was bolted into the wall. There was a door that could be shut, but there was a gap under it and a hole where a doorknob had clearly been removed.

A camera. There on the roof, drilled in and protected by a plexiglass dome, blinking its little red light at him. He stared at it for a moment, then closed his eyes.

He slowed his breathing. Now was not the time to fall apart. Not now. Not yet.

Not when there were 5 of his friends prone on the ground around him, unconscious as he had been only moments ago.

Each was laid out on a thin foam mattress, the kind with no seams or springs that could be fashioned into tools.

His first stop was the door. He knew before he tried it that it wasn’t going to open, but he had to make sure. As soon as that was confirmed, he turned his attention to the people in the room with him.

He rushed over to Emily first, rolling her onto her side and checking her pulse. It was slow, but steady. He looked around at the rest of them, noting the gentle rise and fall of their chests. All alive. He sighed audibly, clasping his hands together in thanks and relief for a split second before turning back to Emily.

He gently shook her, putting his hand on her cheek in what he hoped was a comforting way. His hands were shaking. He wasn’t sure if it was the adrenaline or the comedown. “Emily," he said gently. “Emily, it’s me, Spencer. Wake up Emily.”

After a few more repetitions her eyes fluttered, then opened. She looked up at him hazily. “Spencer?”

“Hi,” he said sadly, knowing there were only a second left until she realized the danger they were in and wanting to let her experience that second in peace.

She glanced behind him where JJ lay unconscious. He looked at her pupils. They were constricted, confirming his suspicions.

“Oh my god,” Emily gasped, her hand reaching up to clutch his shoulder. She leveraged herself against him to drag her way up into a sitting position. She rubbed at her eyes blearily, then opened them again and cast them around the entire room. “Fuck,” she breathed.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

Her eyes snapped back to him. “Are you alright?” she asked urgently, looking him over. “What happened?”

“I’m fine,” he assured her. “And I don’t know. I woke up a minute ago. I don’t remember how I got here. I think we were all drugged.”

She hummed in agreement. “Last thing I remember I was outside my apartment on the way home from the gym. I still feel a little out of it. God, Spencer, you look awful,” she said, putting a hand over his. “What did they do to you?”

“Same thing as you, most likely.” He looked away. “Emily, that’s Hotch over there,” he deflected. “And Derek.”

Emily looked to where he was pointing. Her expression was solemn, professionalism kicking in even in these dire circumstances. “Yeah. And no sign of Tara, Matt, or Luke. And no Penelope, thank God. Whoever did this, they’ve got a grudge against us that predates the others joining the BAU. Someone who met all of us but never had direct interaction with Penelope. This is good. If the others are free, they’ll find us.”

Spencer nodded in agreement. “This is someone with the skill to find Hotch in witness protection. If he wasn’t dead, I would have said it was Scratch. The logistics of kidnapping 6 highly trained federal agents takes an enormous amount of planning and ability. There are only handful of people we’ve encountered with the capacity to pull something like this off.”

She rubbed at her temples. Her eyes were losing the glassy sheen as the adrenaline counteracted the effects of the drugs. “I assume you tried the door?” He nodded. “I guess we should wake the others.”

No sooner than she said it, JJ stirred. They both crawled over to her. Her wake up process went much the same as Emily’s, but for the fact that the first thing she asked about was if her children were safe, before she’d come to enough to realize they had no way of knowing.

“Whoever this is likely targeted you while you were alone,” Spencer assured her. “It’s much safer to take a victim without witnesses, especially a victim who is trained to defend themselves and needs to be physically incapacitated.”

Next, they woke Rossi, who responded immediately by swearing up a storm and threatening to rip the head off whoever was responsible for this.

“Hey, Dave, it’s okay,” said JJ in a calming voice, even as she looked about to cry. “There’s nobody in here but us.”

He breathed. He nodded. He cursed again. He nodded again.

“At least I’m not alone this time,” he said with a world weariness that Spencer felt in his gut.

They had all been in situations like this before, but Rossi was barely recovered from the last time only a few months ago. Spencer still regret so deeply that he wasn’t there to help with Elias Voit.

“No, you’re not alone,” agreed Emily emphatically. “On that note, look who else is here,” she said.

“God fucking dammit,” cursed Rossi as his eyes swept over Derek and landed on Hotch.

Seeing Derek there was upsetting, but it wasn’t as jarring as Hotch’s presence. Derek still came along to the occasional social event, though less and less recently, as he was busy with the birth of his second child. Spencer personally still saw him once a month or so, though the past year their contact had been more limited to phone calls. They were all dreading having to watch him learn he’d been pulled into this nightmare, but if nothing else they could offer him the comfort of familiarity and camaraderie.

But Hotch… none of them had heard so much as a whisper from him in years. When he disappeared, he did so completely. It’s the kind of thing that would have wounded Spencer deeply under any other circumstances, but after everything Daniel Lewis aka Mr Scratch had put him through, he only ever hoped that Hotch had found every semblance of peace that life could give him. He’d missed him badly at times, but he would have rather they never meet again than have to meet like this.

They decided to wake Derek first.

Rossi nearly got a fist in the face before Derek pieced together what was happening. Then, he put a fist directly into a concrete wall instead.

“I’m going to regret that when the drugs wear off,” he said sheepishly once he’d calmed down just a bit. “Whatever they dosed us with, they did not skimp. The comedown is gonna suck,” he said, side eyeing Spencer, who pretended not to notice.

The question and answer was the same as with the others. Do you remember anything about who took you? No. Has anyone tried the door? Yes. Derek threw a shoe at the camera for good measure, but of course it just bounced off the plexiglass and landed pathetically on the floor.

The bang of it hitting the concrete was enough to make Hotch finally stir. They all turned to face him, staring helplessly.

His hair was longer than Spencer had ever seen it. Still short, but more relaxed, skimming the bottom of his ears and starting to curl a little at the base of his neck. He was still lean, but some of the muscle had been replaced by fat. He looked just a little softer. Healthier. His face was peaceful. Spencer always remembered him looking tense, even in his sleep. His hair was streaked with grey but somehow this was the youngest Spencer had ever seen him look.

He stirred a little more, blinking at last.

Ah, there was the familiar tension creeping its way back across his face.

Rossi was the one who finally knelt down beside him. “Aaron? I’m so sorry my friend,” he said sadly as recognition flashed in Hotch’s eyes.

“I’m dreaming,” came the familiar voice. Spencer had missed that voice more than he'd known.

Hotch closed his eyes tightly, then opened them again. He looked past Rossi at the rest of them. Spencer raised his hand in a polite greeting, then immediately felt like an idiot for doing so.

“I’m not dreaming,” he said, no trace of emotion in his voice.

“I’m afraid not,” Rossi confirmed.

Hotch fixed his eyes on Rossi again, pushing himself up so he was sitting against the wall. He looked like he was staring at a ghost, trying to figure where the projector was. “When did you get so old?” he said, reaching out a hand to Rossi’s face and poking at it.

Rossi grabbed the offending hand and clasped it between both of his. “Careful. You’re no spring chicken yourself,” he joked.

“No,” said Hotch, still expressionless. “Peter Lewis is dead. This isn’t my life anymore. He’s dead. They told me he died. I saw photos of the body.”

Spencer didn’t know that, but judging by Rossi’s lack of surprise, he pieced together that the older man had likely made sure the witness protection people had passed the photos along.

“Scratch is dead,” Rossi confirmed. “Whoever did this, it’s not him.”

“This. Isn’t. Real,” Hotch insisted, the first sign of emotion entering his voice in the form of hysteria as he pulled his hand away from Rossi and scrambled to his feet. “All of you stay away from me!” he yelled, looking at each of them in turn.

JJ grabbed onto Spencer’s arm. He flinched at first, then put an arm around her and gave what he hoped was a comforting squeeze. Derek took a step towards Hotch, but Emily held him back.

Hotch backed into the corner, looking at them like a caged animal. They were all caged animals now, Spencer supposed. An unfortunately familiar role.

“Hotch,” Spencer said, surprising himself by speaking. They all turned to look at him. He couldn’t back away now. “This is real. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, but Penelope and the rest of our team aren’t here, which means they are out there looking for us. I know it doesn’t feel real. We have all been drugged and you are probably still feeling the effects. I’m sorry. I wish it wasn’t real, but it is,” Spencer said kindly but emphatically.

“We’ll get out of this together,” said Emily. “It’s going to be okay.”

Hotch’s eyes were looking just a little clearer.

“Listen man, I know what you’re feeling. I got out, too, remember? I have a family and I don’t know if they’re alright. I’m right here with you. We’re all on your side. Do you believe me?” asked Derek, and this time Emily let him take a step forward.

Hotch looked around at all of them again. He assessed them carefully. Then, he turned to the corner, putting his back to them and his hand over his face. It was the closest thing he could get to privacy and Spencer was suddenly grateful to have woken up first to process all of this without being watched.

Well, except for the camera.

They all looked at the floor and did their best to give Hotch space. It was almost a full minute before he finally tuned back around.

There was that stoic expression that Spencer remembered. All that youth and peace was gone from his face in an instant. Spencer hoped so badly that it wasn’t gone for good.

“What do we know?” asked Hotch, crossing his arms.

A moment of silence passed and Spencer wondered if the rest of them felt their hearts breaking into pieces at this cruel facsimile of a reunion.

“Why don’t we start with the last thing each of us remembers?” said Emily, stepping up beside Hotch and looking back at the rest of the room, two natural leaders doing what they do best.

Each of them recounted the details they knew before they woke up in this room.

They had been going about their lives, nothing special. The only common thread they could find was that each of them was alone when their memories stopped.

Derek had been at a picnic with his family and the last thing he remembered was leaving to use the park bathroom. Emily on her way back from the gym. JJ heading out to get groceries. Rossi walking home late from a bar.

“I was driving to work,” said Hotch shortly.

“We’re going to need more detail than that if we want to put together a timeline,” prompted Rossi. "Where do you work?"

Hotch pursed his lips. Spencer could see him strategizing in his head. He wasn’t back in their lives by choice. Spencer understood.

He didn’t get it back when Gideon left, but he got it now. Once you let people in the door, it can be impossible to fully extricate them. Hotch’s old life was filled with trauma he was trying to leave behind and the team were living representations of that past. Spencer couldn’t bring himself to be hurt by the other man’s reticence.

“A legal consultancy in a small town in Kentucky,” he said reluctantly, like divulging the smallest part of his personal life meant inviting the entire FBI right back into it.

“That’s an 8 hour drive,” said Derek. “No wonder you were so out of it compared to the rest of us. You must have been dosed multiple times to keep you under that long.”

“I think you’re right,” he said. “I’m still a bit foggy, if I’m being honest,” he admitted quietly. “What about you, Reid?”

Spencer blinked. “I feel fine.”

“No, I mean what’s the last thing you remember?”

Oh. Right. “I went to sleep in my apartment, then I woke up here,” he said honestly. It wasn’t important what he was doing before he went to sleep.

“Since we can be fairly confident whoever this is took Hotch first,” said Emily, “That probably means they got to you last, Spence. They hit all of us in one day. They must have known the BAU had a day off after closing the last case. They would have had to hit us quick to avoid raising alarms.”

“And the fact that we were all grabbed at different times indicates we’re likely dealing with a single Unsub. Someone highly organized and familiar with each of our routines.”

“The Unsub must have been planning this for a long time. Finding someone in witness protection, especially a former profiler, would take an incredible amount of skill or resources,” said Spence. “They stalked us, learned our routines, then used blitz attacks to stop us from being able to fight back.”

It didn’t take long for them to get into the flow. He felt his panic slipping away as his brain shifted into work mode. At some point they all went from standing to sitting in a circle on the floor.

It felt ridiculous to think about, but Spencer couldn't help but be mildly self conscious being the only one of them in his pajamas, as he was taken in his sleep. He was just glad it was a cold night so he'd been wearing nice, full length ones and not boxers and a shirt or something to that affect. Derek, Emily and JJ were all dressed in comfortable day wear. Rossi and Hotch in suits. Hotch was interesting, though. Spencer had rarely seen him outside of a crisp black suit characteristic of an FBI agent. The one he wore now was navy with a striped tie. It looked good on him.

They put together a more detailed timeline and looked back on the past few months of their lives to discuss anything that could have possibly been out of the ordinary.

The more they talked, the less cagey Hotch was about his life. It was strange to learn more about the day to day he had been living in the years since they’d seen him.

None of them talked about their kids or partners beyond a simple acknowledgement of their existence. They were all acutely aware of the camera on the roof. Whoever was doing this didn’t need to know any more about their families than they already did.

Their phones had been taken and none of them had anything to write with, so they were relying on Spencer to catalogue and compile the information in his brain. He did just that, and after a couple hours they had what was likely a fairly reliable timeline, including geographical information.

Whoever was doing this, they were extremely organized, meticulous, and quick. Not one of them saw it coming. None of them could point to any strange interactions they had over the past months, any red flags, any signs of being followed.

When it came time for Spencer to recount the details of the last months of his life, the others stared at him intently. “I haven’t seen you in person in months,” said Derek. “You don’t look so great, pretty boy.”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but the bunker we’re currently locked in isn’t making the rest of you look at your healthiest, either.”

“You know what I mean,” said Derek with an affectionate eyeroll.

“You know I was doing some classified work for the bureau. That’s why I couldn’t be there for what happened with Voit,” he said with an apologetic look to Rossi, who waved his hand dismissively. They had already been over this when Spencer first got back. He noticed Hotch raise a curious eyebrow. “I can’t talk about the work since we’re currently being recorded,” he said, nodding up at the camera. “Emily knows the details. It was nothing bad, just research that kept me out off the grid for a while. But if the Unsub could find Hotch in witness protection, then it’s possible they could have been tailing me for that long.”

“That finished months ago,” pointed out Emily. “What have you been doing while you’re on sabbatical?”

“A few guest lecture series at Virginia Tech and spending time with my mom, mostly. I just needed a break. I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I guess I’ve been a bit distracted. I haven’t seen or experienced anything unusual, though.”

“I hope your mom’s doing okay,” said JJ comfortingly, prompting the rest of them to nod sympathetically.

He just nodded back. She was doing fine, honestly, not that he’d been visiting as often as he should. Easier to let them assume she was the reason he had been absent.

“Why are you doing this?” said Hotch, standing up and looking directly at the camera once they realized none of them had any more details to share at this point. “What do you want from us? Tell us what it is and maybe we can give it to you.”

The camera blinked its red light at them, showing no care for their presence.

Hotch sighed. He looked down at them all helplessly. His eyes stopped short on Derek. He knelt down, staring at something on the side of his head. “What?” asked Derek, leaning away in concern at Hotch’s suddenly very close face.

“Hold still,” said Hotch. He waved Emily over, who shuffled round to his side. “Right… there,” he said, hovering a finger just behind Derek’s ear.

Her eyes widened. Hotch looked at her questioningly, then turned his own head and tucked his hair away so that she could see behind his ear.

“You have it too,” she said. She did the same as him and he checked her over. They looked at each other again and he nodded.

They all stared at them expectantly, though Spencer was pretty sure he knew what they were seeing.

“Puncture marks at the top of the neck, just behind the ear,” Emily explained. “That’s where we were injected.”

Spencer, Rossi and JJ all checked each other. Sure enough, same thing.

“That means we were likely attacked from behind,” said Derek.

“Do we know what we were drugged with?” said Hotch, shooting an almost imperceptible glance in Spencer’s direction.

His skin crawled at the way none of them wanted to look at him, to just come right out and say it. He didn’t particularly want to talk about it. Not really. But they always acted like the subject was poison and it made him feel like he had to walk on eggshells too. Like the reality of his life was harder for them to hear than it was for him to live.

“I am fairly confident it was some kind of opioid,” he said, careful to keep the irritation out of his voice.

JJ put her hand on his and he felt the irritation dissipate.

They cared about him. He knew that. It’s not as if they were wrong to worry. They had talked about it a little over the years, but not enough that it had stopped being awkward every time it came up.

“Are you certain?” asked Rossi. “Could have been a tranquilizer.”

“I’m certain,” said Spencer. “Trust me, I know the feeling.”

Derek reached a foot across the circle and bumped it against Spencer’s knee in a supportive gesture, like saying ‘I’m here with you.’ Emily smiled at him softly, reassuringly.

“It could have been cut with something,” pointed out Hotch.

“The totality of the blackout indicates it may have been cut with a sedative of some kind, as a high enough dose of opioids to include that kind of memory loss reliably could be unsafe and none of us are suffering significant enough side effects to indicate that’s the case. Whoever did this knew exactly what dosage to use,” he explained. “But… I am quite sure it was predominantly an opioid.”

Of course he was sure.

“Jesus,” said JJ. “I’m sorry, Spence.”

“I don’t believe in fate but the universe does seem to have a strange way of conspiring to get you high,” deadpanned Emily.

Derek shot her a harsh look, but Spencer cracked a smile. “I think ‘an Unsub made me do it’ is going to start sounding like ‘a dog ate my homework’ to my sponsor,” he joked back, relief washing over him that they weren’t going to dance around it the entire time they were in here. Not that he’d spoken to his sponsor in more than a year. They didn’t need to know that.

The others smiled too. “You’ll be alright, kid,” said Rossi. “If you kept it together after Mexico, you’ll get through this.”

That would have been a comforting statement if not for the fact that it was completely false. It didn’t matter anyway. Penelope and the rest of the team would find them and get them out before any of this became an issue.

Or they wouldn’t. But he couldn’t think about that yet.

A crease sat deep between Hotch’s eyebrows. “Mexico?”

“You don’t know?” said Emily. “I just assumed you were across everything to do with the Scratch case.”

“No,” said Hotch. “I accepted proof of his death and told the liaison I didn’t want to know anything else.”

“It’s complicated,” said Rossi. “There were other players involved, but the short version is Reid was drugged and framed for murder. It wasn’t pretty.”

“We don’t need to go into the details,” said Spencer, oddly embarrassed at the idea of Hotch knowing just how prone to being victimized he apparently still is. He knew it wasn’t rational, given the things that had happened to Hotch and the fact that all of them were in this locked room as victims together.

Hotch looked at him. Spencer couldn’t read his expression at all. Eventually he just nodded and let it drop.

Before any of them could say another word, there was a banging at the door. The hatch on the other side of the door chamber opened.

Derek got to the door first, trying to rip the hatch on their side open. He shouted at the door “What do you want?! Talk to me! Just tell us what you want!”

There was no response.

The only thing they could see was a hand covered in a thick leather glove sliding a piece of paper in. It was a smaller hand than expected.

He continued pulling but the panel didn’t budge until the other one had closed completely. Derek stumbled backwards as the panel suddenly released.

“It’s soundproof,” Spencer said, despairing. “There was no sound of footsteps on the other side.”

Emily grabbed the note from the chamber. They all whipped around to watch her as she read the words aloud.

“Hello, old friends,” she started, all of them frozen in place and hanging off her every word. “I know you are wondering why you are here. It is simple. You dragged my secrets into the light and then put me in a cage. At first I wanted to get revenge. Then I watched you for a long time and I learned all about you and I learned that we are the same. I saw how you are suffering. How you are scared. All hiding. I remember when I had to hide. For so long I hid even from myself. Now, because of you, I am free. Even when I was in a cage, I was free, because I had no secrets anymore.

I want to give you the freedom you gave to me. Soon, you will not have secrets. You will see that in this room you cannot hide and that when there is nothing left to hide, you will be free.”

Emily looked up from the letter, meeting all of their eyes in turn. There was a painful lump in Spencer’s throat.

If he was being honest with himself, he knew it as soon as he woke up in this room and saw them all there. He knew they weren’t going to make it out in time. He knew the Unsub must have watched him closely enough to know what was going on with him. He knew he wasn’t making it out of this without all of them seeing him for exactly who he is.

Now, he thought, might be the time to fall apart.

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sqwishywrites34 · 1 year

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Stay Away From My Son

A/N: Being the longtime lover of Criminal Minds I am,, I’m making a full fic from a TikTok scene I made lol I had this whole big scenario in mind for it so I decided I’d expand on it here. Have some Team Dad!Hotch and Team Son/Little Brother!Spencer

disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or it’s characters, they belong to Jeff Davis

Characters: Aaron “Hotch” Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ” Jereau, Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Penelope Garcia, Original Male Character(s)

WARNINGS: groping, grinding, spicy content(not smut)(lime? maybe?), weapons, swearing, probably bad writing, attempted present tense(not what I’m used to but I’ll try ;-;)

As much as Hotch didn’t like- no, detested sending one of his own into danger without proper protection, it couldn’t be helped. He couldn’t even send Reid in there with a gun, he’ll have to rely on the younger’s acting skills to keep him safe. They’d figured out the Unsub’s identity and got all the evidence they need to convict him and his current location, which also happens to be his hunting ground. He works at a gay nightclub as a bartender, a job that wouldn’t make it suspicious if he flirted with the patrons.

His type is Twinks, especially first timers that fell for his charms and would willingly follow him out back where he would have sex with them before drugging them and taking them to his place, an apartment above the club. Now, to lure him out to avoid putting civilians in danger and as to not scare them, they sent Reid in undercover.

Spencer, in a brightly colored, loose fitting crop top with very short jean shorts the rest of his legs in fishnet and chunky heeled combat boots, light makeup on his eyes and glittery cheeks makes his way into the club. Garcia has their computers queued up with the security feed inside the club, All their eyes trained on Reid and Lukas Mertins, their Unsub. Spencer makes his way through the crowd, blending in and letting the larger men grab on his hips and rub up on him, the other smaller-statured men dancing up against him as a show for the others. Finally, he makes it to the bar and sits down, panting and excitedly and nervously looking back at the crowds, fitting into his role perfectly.

Lukas takes the bait instantly and looks Spencer up and down like a Lion about to pounce on an injured Gazelle. He slides his way to Spencer, startling him with an introduction.

“Hey, there. I haven’t seen you around. Newcomer?” He asks, deepening his voice as to be alluring.

“Oh, yea! I just moved here from Wyoming!” He yells over the booming music, “I’m Callum!” He sends a charming grin to the man.

“What’s your poison? Gin? Tequila? No, you strike me as a Sex on The Beach kind of guy!” Lukas sends a wink at Spencer, confidence radiating off of him.

“How’d you know?” Spencer grins back at him with that amused surprise Lukas was expecting.

“Little bartenders’ secret, cutie, maybe I’ll teach you some time,” he speaks as he begins making the drink, when he notices Spencer taking out his wallet, “oh, no! You put that away! First timer’s get their first drink on the house!”

“Really? Are you sure?” The easy conversation continues on before another twink runs up and all but drags Spencer back to the dance floor as if they knew each other forever. Lukas keeps his eyes on “Callum” the whole time, clearly taking the shine to him that everyone had hoped(and dreaded).

Spencer makes his way back to the bar, giggling and panting as he returns to his flirtatious conversations with the Unsub.

“Hey, Callum, do you wanna get outta here? My shift just ended.” Lukas leans in close to say the words directly into Spencer’s ear.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Spencer sends a lustful smile at him, his lip between his teeth. Smirking, Lukas jerks his head to gesture Spencer to follow him to the back which lead to the alleyway.

Before they even cross the door’s threshold, Lukas has his lips against Spencer’s, his tongue damn near down his throat. As he gets them out the door, the loud slam resonating through the speaker, his hands are firmly gripping Spencer’s ass, kneading and landing the occasional slap.

Spencer’s hands are lost in Lukas’ hair as the larger man backs him up against the brick wall. Patting his ass, Lukas gets Spencer to jump and wrap his legs around his waist. Holding Spencer up with his own body and the legs around his waist, he begins grinding against him, moving to attach his lips to the brunette’s neck.

“Fuck, baby, you taste so fuckin’ good,” his hand slides up Spencer’s body and plays with his nipple, coaxing moans from the twink in his arms.

“Lukas Mertins! FBI! Get on the ground with your hands behind your head!” Hotch yells at the man, all too eagerly as the team notices. The blonde immediately drops Spencer though he doesn’t let him get away. Mertins wraps his arm around his neck, holding him flush against his body, pulling a pocket knife from his slacks and presses it tightly against Spencer’s throat in retaliation to the guns aimed at him with 5 accompanying death glares.

“I don’t fuckin’ think so. You back the fuck off or I’m taking this slut out.” He hisses out and glares directly at Hotch.

“Hang on there, Reid.” Morgan calls out to said agent when he sees the flash of panic that appears for no more than a few seconds.

“Let him go, Mertins. You’re not getting out of this.” Hotch all but growls out, sending quick glances at Spencer to ensure he’s alright.

“I beg to differ-” Before he could finish, Hotch fires a shot into his shoulder, making him drop the knife and release Reid to cradle his injury as he stumbled to the ground, grunting and growling in rage.

“Then beg.” Hotch snarls, grabbing the jacket they had grabbed for Reid and hurrying to put it around his shoulders, Prentiss coming forward to pull him into her side both for warmth and a sense of protection, while Morgan happily forces Mertins’ arms behind his back. If he accidentally tugs just a bit too hard on the arm Hotch shot, then no one mentions it. Nor do they mention if he just so happens to grab onto the same shoulder to bring him to his feet.

“Least you can do is have the twink suck me off.” He sneers, nodding at Reid.

“That what you think he is? Some twink?” Hotch squints challengingly at the man, daring him to go on.

“He gave me blue balls.” With that, his glare is directed at Reid who only barely shows any of his discomfort, though enough to have Hotch pissed at the man before him.

“Did he?” He feigns surprise and sympathy as he slowly takes the 3 steps forward. Suddenly, in a flash of barely a second, his knee rises to meet Mertins’ crotch, a deep grimace returning as the Unsub groans and collapses to his knees as he curls in on himself. “Now they’re black and blue balls.”

The whole team says nothing as they watch the scene and make not a move to intervene, though some are wearing smirks at Hotch’s display of protectiveness.

“And you say you’re not the dad.” Prentiss, still with a slightly shivering Reid in her arms, teases. Hotch glances back at her, a glare with no heat behind it playing on his features, though he says nothing.

No one says a word but they all notice his lack of denial.

Emily leaves Spencer with a quick squeeze as she goes to take Mertins from Morgan when they begin to head back to the vehicles.

“Hey, you okay, kid?” Derek asks, pulling Spencer into his side for side hug for comfort and to provide some warmth.

“Yea, or well, I will be. Once I can brush my teeth.” Spencer’s answer prompts a chuckle from most of the team and a soft grin from Hotch, who’s just relieved Spencer is alright.

“That was impressive, you know. I don’t know many people who could keep their cool in a situation like that.” Dave smiles at him and gently touches his shoulder as he passes to one of the SUVs.

“He’s right, Spence, that was really brave.” JJ offers gently, a smile on her face she usually reserves for her sons.

“Bravest twink I ever met,” Emily teases, a playful and kind smile on her lips that Spencer can’t resist returning.

Once everyone gathers into their respective SUVs, they begin the drive back to the station to firstly get Spencer back into his own clothes and to pack up to head home. Hotch takes to sitting in the back with Spencer as Emily drives, holding Spencer as he’s still shivering; as well as for his own peace of mind to ensure he’s safe, not that he’ll admit that out loud.

“That was impressive, you did very well,” Hotch sends a small, proud smile to him, though it soon turns to slight worry, “are you okay, though? That was a lot.” Spencer smiles at the concern, really seeing his “Dad Mode” as the team calls it.

“I’m okay. I’ll be much more comfortable in clothes with more coverage and some mouthwash, but I’m alright, right now.” Nearly the moment he finishes his sentence Emily’s phone blares to life, flashing with Penelope’s contact.

“Hey, what’s up, Garcia?” Emily announces into the phone, signaling she’s on speaker.

“Oh my sweet Boy Wonder! How are you?! Are you okay?! That was amazing! I didn’t know you could move like that! I’m definitely taking you the next time I go dancing! Please tell me someone punched that guy in the dick! Did he hurt you?! Be ready for a hug the moment you get back!!” She rushes, hardly taking a breath between sentences, making Emily and Spencer laugh and Hotch lightly chuckle with a fond smile.

“I’m alright, I promise. We’ll see about that dancing. Don’t worry, his genitals did not leave unscathed. And I’m looking forward to it, Penelope.” Spencer stays grinning throughout his update.

“Good! And, see, this is why I’m not in the field! No one messes with my Beautiful Boy Wonder! He wouldn’t be walking away at all if I was there!” She lets out her mini rant, adding in more bits of her protectiveness of him, in particular of the team, before she eventually hangs up.

They get back to the station, wrap everything up, get Spencer back into his own clothes, and bid adieu to the local enforcement and climb on the jet.

Spencer’s still low body temperature is making him tired, which he tries to explain the science behind as he’s floating in and out of consciousness. Hotch, who’s sitting beside him, smiles fondly at his habits and lightly directs his head to lean on his shoulder, where the Doctor promptly falls asleep.

The team, expectedly, grins at the sight and Derek and Emily immediately jump at the chance to take pictures, most of which sport a Hotch glancing at the camera with an amused smirk.

“Still not ‘the Dad’?” JJ smirks at Hotch over her book, gesturing with a quick glance at the man on his shoulder.

A defeated smile on his lips, Hotch huffs a silent chuckle, “No comment.”

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strawbeerossi · 1 month

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August || Chapter Five

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid, fem!reader x Emily Prentiss

Description: After a conversation with Emily, Spencer drowns in a sea of regret and guilt. That’s when JJ gives him a harsh reality check.

Content/Warnings: Spencer/JJ centric chapter, friendships are threatened, drama, emissions of guilt, regret, Spencer thinks of you and Emily to a deep degree, a break up ensues, one use of Y/N.

WC: 2.1K

Y'all know the drill. 450 notes for next part!

Navigation || August Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Request

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The sound of the ceramic shattering on the ground had you looking at the floor first, the overly sugary coffee surely going to make the floor sticky and give everyone’s shoes that annoying sound of them getting stuck to the ground.

“That’s going to be a pain to clean up.” Was all Emily could say, unphased by his reaction. Truth be told, he had no reason to react the way he did. He had made his bed the moment he got with JJ, losing every chance that he had with you. “Pick up the pieces, don’t need anyone getting hurt.” She added.

“So this is what you two do whenever you're supposed to be working? Not very professional.” Spencer huffed, kneeling down to pick up the remains of the navy blue coffee cup, his head shaking.

“Everyone is entitled to a lunch break for an hour every workday. What anyone else does outside of this office is absolutely none of your business.” The unit chief countered back while she was heading over to the bullpen doors. “When you’re finished, come to my office. We need to talk.”

You were looking between Spencer and Emily, hands pushed into your pockets while the both of them had their little back and forth. “Can we all just calm it down? There’s no need for any more drama than this team already has.” The voice of reason. How fitting.

“I am calm. I just find it shocking that you’re kissing our boss in the elevator.” He commented, the shards rested in the palm of his hand as he pushed himself to stand up straight.

“You have no right to be mad and you know that.” You countered, deciding against furthering the argument as you approached the doors to the bullpen. How dare he act angry at you after what he did. He had no logical reasoning to act like a child over your decisions.

You knew that this was him lashing out, showing that deep down, he really is bothered and has noticed what he lost out on. That could’ve been you and him kissing in the elevator instead of you and Emily, the both of you could be going out to lunch together… He knew where he went wrong and this was going to haunt him.

Spencer was always dramatic in that way, needing to see just what he lost before it was hitting him like a freight train. It was something he did with JJ, then he got with her and things haven’t exactly been smooth sailing in the department of their relationship.

He felt immense guilt, especially whenever JJ and Will had to make plans for the boys to visit with her. She should’ve been home with her children, not with him. Although it was seemingly too late, he highly doubted Will would take JJ back.

He made it known on several occasions that she made her bed and she had to lie in it, to suffer from the loss of a loving marriage. In a way, it made Spencer feel dirty. What would Henry think of his beloved uncle when he got older? What would Michael think? In their story, as well as yours, Spencer was the bad guy.

Those thoughts were in his mind all day after that. Even whenever being scolded by Emily, he just wasn’t present in the conversation. All he could think about was how happy you seemed with her, the way you looked at her. It made him feel nauseous.

He knew Emily would take care of you at the end of the day but all he could do is think about what he lost. Emily was the lucky one, the one who didn’t break your heart into a million pieces. She got to hold you, to kiss you, to bask in your love and presence.

His mind wandered farther, the idea of you two being intimate together. The idea made jealousy tug at his heart. She would be the one to worship you, to bring a rush of euphoria over you so strong that you wouldn’t dare think about another person in the same manner.

It made him irrationally angry, upset at Emily because she was lucky enough to step in to the relationship that should’ve been shared between you and him.

“Are you even listening?” Emily’s voice made Spencer look over at her, his eyes searching her features. She was angry at him, the comments he made earlier being the driving force behind it. He understood why, however this talk was unnecessary.

“Yes. I’m listening. I just think this is all a waste of my time and yours. I’m sorry for making the comments I made but you have to admit, you are our boss at the end of the day. If you can’t handle what I have to say, imagine hearing what other people will say.” He stated.

“I can guarantee you that nobody would care as much as you do. There will have to be a tedious paperwork process done for this to continue, but I don’t mind it.” It was a wonder how Emily kept her composure despite Spencer’s shitty attitude. “I am just asking you to stop with the comments and quite honestly, you need to grow up. The Spencer that I know would be happy for his coworkers who are also his friends. He wouldn’t be throwing a hissy fit over jealousy.”

“Look. I am happy for you, for her. I’m not jealous either.” Debatable. He didn’t care to admit things like that. “I just don’t like how I didn't know. She used to tell me everything!”

“And then you ruined that for yourself. You know that I love you but you’re acting foolish. I don’t want to constantly have battles between us, alright? Just take this time to reflect and realize what you did wrong and then let all of that built up anger go. Now, go and wash your face. Get your shit together.”

That was the end of the conversation, the male slowly pushing himself to stand before making a slow retreat from the office. Washing his face was good, would clear his head, settle his nerves.. So, he made a b-line straight for the men’s washroom. Although unbeknownst to him, JJ was hurrying out of the bullpen right behind him.

“What happened in there?” She made her presence known as she grabbed Spencer’s arm, startling him in the process. “What are you trying to pull now?”

“Trying to pull? Are you serious? Emily wanted to have a private discussion with me. I suggest you mind your own business, Jennifer.” He spat, the built up aggression causing him to breathe heavier thn usual, his face red. He needed to get to the bathroom now.

“Woah, hold on. You think you are allowed to get rude with me because you don’t know how to leave things alone? Spencer, don’t be ridiculous.” She began although the male’s hands were raised in self defense as he looked in her direction. He had no time for this.

“I know how to leave things alone. I’ve proved that enough these past few weeks. You just don’t like that all the attention isn’t on you for once. Nobody really cares what you have to say in regards to this situation. I don’t care. You don’t like the way I carry myself and that is your problem. I can’t change myself just to make you approve.”

“Are you crazy? I’m just telling you to leave them alone.”

“Yeah, well how about you leave me alone?” He spat, now turning on his heel to get to the bathroom. He knew taking out his anger on JJ wasn’t fair but she just always poked and prodded at him. He hated that.

As he made it to the bathroom, he was staring at his reflection, the man in the mirror being someone who he could barely recognize. The old Spencer would’ve never taken things this far. He would’ve been too afraid of backlash, would’ve pulled away entirely once he saw the hectic nature of what his decisions could unleash..

With the sink water steadily running, he was leaning down to splash some cold water on his face. He just needed to calm down, to think through this situation and what his options were. His brain was amazing with conjuring up ideas and theories, although it was like as of late, he was lacking.

“Get your shit together.” Spencer spoke to himself, his eyes closing to avoid looking at himself, at who he became over the years; a man who broke someone’s heart, broke a family, and broke a team dynamic. Hell, he might’ve even broken himself in the process.

The sound of flowing water coupled with his breathing was all he could hear, blocking out the rest of the world as he was bringing himself back down to a more calm and collected state. His decisions have never haunted him like these past few ones have.

Once calm, his hand was turning off the water, his eyes watching a steady pour slow down to nothing. Alright. He was alright.

Upon exiting the bathroom, JJ was still there, arms crossed as she was waiting patiently for him to come out. “I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” She stated, looking up at the man in front of her.

“I don’t want your help. I just- I feel like this isn’t working. I don’t like this relationship or whatever we have anymore. I can’t keep up with it, I just can’t.” He blurted out, heart beating like a drum in his chest, threatening to burst out of his chest cavity.

A tense silence came over them as JJ pursed her lips together. “After I left my husband to try and make this work?” She asked, not giving the man time to answer as she took in a breath. “Fine. Maybe you’re right. You can’t do this anymore. Because now you’ve realized the weight of your decisions. I always wanted you to reflect and realize what you did wrong, to take accountability. I just didn’t expect it to lead to this.”

“I just can’t do it. I can’t look at Henry or Michael without feeling immense guilt. I broke up the dynamic they were used to, at least contributed to it. We’ve both lost important things to us. The only difference is, you’re lucky enough to have your children. You could salvage a cordial relationship with Will. I’ve lost everything.”

“You’re unbelievable!” The blonde stared at the taller male in disbelief. “You are throwing a pity party for yourself because suddenly you feel the need to be jealous over what Emily has? After this whole experience, I can tell you that Y/N is much better off with her than she is with you.”

The ugly truth that hit Spencer harder than a train derailed from the tracks.

“I have to agree that this needs to end. You also need to leave those two alone. If anything, take my advice on that. Let them live. Let them be happy.” She frowned while bringing her hands up to tiredly rub at her face. “She doesn’t love you and you need to realize that.”

Those words stuck with Spencer, even whenever he made it to his apartment later that night. He was pacing around his living room, arms over his chest, as he really had time to think about everything. The silence never did him any favors, but he couldn’t even ignore his thoughts with a book like he usually could. He tried.

Every conclusion that he conjured up was the same; he needed to leave you alone. Not that easy, though. You knew him better than the others did. You two talked and shared a lot in the time frame of knowing each other.

He got a horrible idea, one that he knew he shouldn’t have had, but it was an idea.

With his hand digging into his pocket, he was eventually retrieving his phone, getting into it before getting to his contact list.

There wasn’t much scrolling that had to be done, eventually finding a familiar name. Your name. He was silently outweighing his options. You could answer, you could block him, or you could flat out ignore him.

So, throwing caution to the wind, he hit call, slowly sitting in the middle of the floor as he patiently waited for an answer.

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em-prentiss · 2 months

Text

Hotch watches as she appraises the chocolate bar in her hand, her eyes flitting between it and her mug before she shrugs, breaks off a piece of the chocolate, and promptly drops it into the coffee.

“Really?” The words slip from his mouth before he could stop them.

Emily doesn’t spare him a second glance as she grabs a spoon and stirs her now chocolate tainted coffee. “Can’t make it worse than it already is,” she reasons, taking a cautious sip of her concoction before humming, “that’s not too bad, actually. You ever heard of mocha, Hotch?” She turns to him this time, smiling significantly brighter as she meets his slightly appalled gaze.

He can’t help but think her eyes are just the same shade of the coffee in both their mugs. Dark lashes, dark irises, dark pupils; endless pools of brown that swallow him whole. His throat goes dry.

She turns away and snaps another piece of the chocolate before dropping it into her mug. Hotch realizes he still hadn’t answered.

“I have, but I must say I’ve never seen it prepared like that.” He takes a sip of his own cocoa-less coffee, grateful for the bitterness when he sees Emily stir another piece of chocolate into hers.

He shudders slightly. “Well, you’ve got your solution. You have until 5, Prentiss,” he calls out as he finally turns away, realizing he wasted a lot more than his allotted five minute break.

“Sure thing, boss.” He hears the smile in her voice, and suddenly he wishes he could’ve stayed a bit more.

I’ve got this vague idea of hotchniss falling in love over cups of coffee (5+1, of course) but it’s supposed to be Emily-centric so idk how that’ll work…

#hotchniss #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron x emily

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slytherinlesbians · 7 months

Text

Whumptober 2023, Day 1: "How many fingers am I holding up?"

“It’s starting to get dark,” Spencer says, trying not to let the anxiety bubbling in his stomach leak into his words.

“No way,” Morgan says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “You really are a genius.”

“Hey,” Spencer snaps, looking over at his friend. He’s leaning against a tree in a clearing in the woods they currently occupy, looking wrecked with tiredness. “I know you’re worn out, but don’t project your exhaustion onto me.”

“Spence is right,” Emily says from where she sits on the filthy ground next to him, elbows propped against her knees. “Let’s just figure this out so that we can get out of here.”

“Sorry kid,” Morgan sighs, and Spencer nods at him.

“It’s fine. Just give me a few more minutes.”

They’ve been hunting their unsub, John McClintock, for days now. The serial killer has been taking men that hike on their own in the woods the BAU has split up to comb, castrating them and dumping their bodies all over. It hasn’t been an easy or pleasant case by any stretch, but Emily, Derek and Spencer have made marginally more progress than the others tracking the unsub over the last few hours.

Spencer inspects his surroundings carefully, squinting as it grows darker quicker than he would like. After another moment of tired silence, he gestures to the left of his colleagues.

“I think we should go this way. The trees get thicker the further left we go, and we profiled he’d need cover.”

It’s a stretch, but it’s something, and after hours out in the humid Arizona air, something is better than nothing. The trio starts along the left, getting deeper and deeper into thicker trees. Spencer lets the other two lead the way. He follows, nervousness spiking as the darkness begins to take over and the three agents pull out their flashlights. He jumps when Emily’s two-way radio buzzes suddenly.

“Prentiss,” Hotch’s voice comes through crackly and broken, but they gather the next few words. “We’re at a dead end. It’s going to be too dark to search soon. Give it five more minutes then turn around.”

“Yeah, okay,” Emily agrees. “We’ll-,” She stops dead, and Spencer bumps into her.

“Sor-,” he’s about to apologize when he realizes why she and Morgan stopped so abruptly in the first place.

Even through the darkness, Spencer can make out the run down cabin that stands in front of them. His hand automatically tightens around his gun, which he’s holding beneath his flashlight.

“Good work kid,” Morgan breathes appreciatively. “You reckon this is it?”

“Hotch,” Emily says. “We’ll hit you back. We might have something here.”

“Send us your coordinates,” Hotch says, but his voice starts to fade and become harder to understand. “We’ll send backup and…”

“Hotch?” Emily says after the voice fades completely, and then a red light shines for a second.

The radio is dead.

“Great,” she snaps, holstering the radio back on her belt. “Fucking fabulous.”

“Look,” Morgan says, in the voice that means he’s about to defy orders. “There’s three of us, and one of him. He might not even be there. This might not even be his cabin. Who wants to take the odds?”

“Well, the odds-,”

“Spence,” Emily smiles at him wanly. “Let’s just do it.”

Spencer sighs. “Fine,” he says. “But when Hotch asks, you better tell him that I didn’t agree to this.”

Morgan chuckles. “Hotch is used to you making reckless decisions, pretty boy. I wouldn’t worry.”

“I’ll take the back,” Emily says, and the other two agree silently.

“Be careful,” Spencer says, and she nods before disappearing quietly behind the cabin.

Spencer and Morgan advance carefully, guns at the ready with Morgan in the lead. They make their way silently up the wooden stairs, avoiding the holes in the weathered wood. Morgan raps sharply on the door.

“FBI, open up!”

When there’s no answer, he throws a grin over his shoulder at Spencer, who rolls his eyes. “Go on then,” Spencer says, and Morgan kicks in the door with glee. Morgan steps over the threshold first, and at first glance Spencer can see over his friend’s shoulder the house is dark and desolate. Morgan moves forward and Spencer steps forward too.

He’s not taken no more than three steps further than the doorway when something collides with his skull with a sickening, dull, crack.

Pain explodes in his head and stars dance across his vision. He drops to his knees with a groan as he hears a gunshot, and the next second, Morgan is by his side.

“Reid!”

“Mmm,” Spencer says, falling back onto his heels, brain foggy with pain. The thudding in his head spreads through his entire body in mere seconds, and the side of his face feels like it’s on fire. “Mmm,” Spencer tries again, but he can’t summon the strength to look anywhere other than the floor in front of him, which is spinning and multiplying before his very eyes, let alone answer his friend.

“-is dead, I turned as soon as I heard Reid fall and shot him-,”

“-tell the others we need medical-,”

“-radio’s dead-,”

Emily’s voice joins Morgans, and they collide in a loud symphony that ricochets around his brain painfully. He shuts his eyes, trying to block out some of the pain.

“No, Spencer,” Emily says, prodding his side gently, sounding worried. “Keep your eyes open.”

He puts all his energy into opening his eyes to glare at her. Somehow, he’s lying down now, and there’s something soft under his head. When did he lie down?

“Kid, how many fingers am I holding up?” Morgan asks, and his hand hovers in front of Spencer’s face.

Spencer squints. “Three hands,” he mumbles. “You have three hands.”

“Shit,” Morgan hisses, and Spencer gathers that was not the answer his friends were looking for. He makes to shut his eyes again. He’d really quite like a nap right about now.

“Reid!” Emily says again, and Spencer grimaces at how loud she’s being. Doesn’t she know it’s time to sleep?

“Emily,” he groans, eyes still shut, trying to ignore the thudding in his head. “It’s bedtime. Shhh.”

There’s a loud noise nearby, and Spencer brings his hands up to his face. Why’s everyone being so goddamn loud?!

“Oh thank God,” Morgan says suddenly.

“It’s not bedtime yet, kiddo,” a new voice joins the group. Rossi. When did Rossi get here?

Voices start to drop in and out of the conversation, and Spencer tries to inject his opinion, but everything hurts and his eyes are heavy and his face is starting to numb and honestly, he just wants to sleep.

“Reid,” Morgan growls from somewhere to his right. “Open your eyes.”

“Nnngshshf,” Spencer mutters something unintelligible and opens his eyes with a lot of effort.

“That’s our genius,” Rossi says dryly, looking down at Spencer. “Don’t worry kid, only a few more minutes. Hotch and JJ are on the way with medical.”

“Then sleep?” Spencer asks, his tongue feeling like it weighs a ton in his mouth.

“Then sleep,” Emily confirms from his side, and he gives her a weak thumbs up.

#whumptober2023 #no.1 #prompt: how many fingers am i holding up?#criminal minds #fanfiction #oneshot #concussion #whump #spencer reid #derek morgan #emily prentiss #I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY TUMBLR HIATUS

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jjtheresidentbaby · 1 year

Note

little!jj with a pacifier? ik you already have one but i really liked it. cg!emily please!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ almost home ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

|| jennifer jareau x emily prentiss

notes: this got emily centric in a way whoops

warnings: pacifiers, pet names

Emily smiles as her fingers run through Jj’s soft hair, her head lays in Emily’s lap as she happily sucks on the navy colored pacifier graciously retrieved from the overhead storage by Morgan about an hour ago. The case they finished was nothing short of horrific so Jj regressing on the plane ride home wasn’t unexpected to Prentiss, though she’s a tad surprised at how calm Jj is.

“You doing alright sweetie?” Her thumb brushes against Jj’s hairline, relishing in her little girl nudging herself closer to Emily’s touch.

“Home?” It’s mumbled around the barrier in Jj’s mouth though Emily can catch it.

Penelope always says that she has a knack for reading into baby talk, part of Prentiss wonders how Garcia would react to learning Emily’s had plenty of practice watching over Jennifer. Derek’s the only person Jj’s been comfortable enough to share her little side with, Emily’s trying to assure her things will be fine if she tells others, maybe they can work up to Penelope soon.

“Soon darling, we’re almost home.” Jj hums along before letting her eyes flutter shut as she curls in closer to Prentiss.

Emily leans back against the planes seat, tracing lines across Jj’s leg with her free hand and going over how the rest of the night will go. They have a nicely set up bedtime routine now, one that Emily would be lying if she said she didn’t miss on the week they’ve been states over working a case. Getting home and falling back into their mundane domestic routine will bring her all the relief in the world, even if it includes struggling a pacifier from Jj’s mouth before she falls asleep.

#jj writes #criminal minds agere #little!jj #caregiver!emily #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #jj x emily

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fortheloveofwonderland · 1 year

Text

Darkness Declares Glory | Chapter 9 | S.R

Previous Chapter

A/N - this fic deals with some very dark themes such as drug use, self-harm and suicidal ideation. Please proceed with caution and Minors DNI. There is a reader insert but it is very Spencer-centric.

Chapter Summary - George offers Spencer some words of advice as they grow closer. A familiar face from his past surfaces but things don’t go as Spencer anticipated.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | eventual happy ending.

Warnings - Spencer’s wrongly directed anger, suicidal thoughts, past drug addiction, flirty nurse, aggression, threatening behaviour, mentions of bisexual Spencer, tears, suicidal ideation, Garcia’s flashback, vomit.

WC - 4.9k

Chapter 9 - Don't You Dare Forget the Sun

He had a long time to think about Maggie’s words as he was left alone for the rest of the day. His only interaction came in the form of an orderly bringing his lunch and then later dinner.

He wasn’t sure if it was in protest or just not being hungry, but Spencer didn’t eat a thing. Instead he slowly pulled apart his food and made a game out of throwing it at the wall. He enjoyed the mess it made.

Once the sun had gone down he slipped out of bed and hopped to the desk before opening his journal. He stared at the next blank page for some time, but when he did start writing, the words flowed.

I’ll never forgive her for this. I’ll never be able to look at her the same. It’s her fault I’m here, she made the call, she got the judge to sign the preventive confinement order.

I hate her for doing this to me. I hate all of them for doing this to me. It’s doing more harm than good, I can feel it…I can feel it slowly destroying me.

If I can’t get my hands on those drugs I will find a way to kill myself. I’ll think of something…I’ll formulate a plan one way or another. It’s drugs or death.

If she’s gotten her hands on this it’s because I couldn’t get the drugs and I’m already dead. And I hope she knows this is all her fucking fault. I hope she takes the guilt to her own grave.

In putting me in here, she basically signed my death warrant. So I hope for as long as she lives, she hates herself for what she’s done. I hope it’s her that has to explain to Henry and Michael and little Hank why Uncle Spencer isn’t around anymore.

I hope it’s her that has to tell my mom what happened to me, explain all the grisly details of how they found me with my throat slashed or hanging from the rafters from a noose I made out of bed sheets.

I hope the team falls apart. I hope every single one of them carry my death on their shoulders for the rest of their days.

I hope if you’re reading this, you know you’re the one that really killed me, Emily Prentiss.

***

His night was spent mostly staring at the same ceiling, unable to give over to sleep. He was already awake the next morning when he heard the trolleys being wheeled down the corridors and the nurses skirting from room to room.

He knew it was George who entered his room without tearing his eyes away from the ceiling. He had a distinctive smelling aftershave and it wafted straight to Spencer’s nose.

“I hear I should be thankful I wasn’t on the morning shift yesterday.” He spoke as he wheeled the trolley towards Spencer’s bed.

“News of my breakdown travels fast.” He sighed, looking at George now.

“You scared the crap out of poor Linda.” George picked up the medicine cup and a cup of water before handing them to Spencer.

“It wasn’t intentional. I just…you wouldn’t get it.” He necked the pills and downed some water.

“Try me.” George narrowed his eyes on him.

Spencer heaved a sigh and pulled his hands up the sleeves of his sweater.

“Unless you’ve been where I am, you wouldn’t understand.”

George looked around the room momentarily as though he expected someone to be lurking in the shadows. When he looked back at Spencer his eyes were a little sad.

“I have been where you are.”

“What?” Spencer frowned.

“I mean not in that exact bed at this exact facility. But I was…I guess I am a drug addict.” He shrugged.

“I’m confused.” Spencer’s frown deepened.

“I’ve been sober for thirteen years. I was just a kid when I started taking drugs. My boyfriend at the time was older than me and a huge junkie. I started using recreationally to seem cool around his friends. Then it got out of hand. By the time we broke up he left me with a broken heart and a pretty bad cocaine addiction.”

Spencer’s eyes widened as he consumed George’s words. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t think of anything to say. So George continued.

“I voluntarily checked myself into a facility. Getting clean was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I did do it. I got clean and I went to nursing school and now I dedicate my life to helping those like me.” He offered Spencer a sympathetic smile.

“It isn’t triggering? Working here and being around addicts?”

“Quite the opposite actually. I find it cathartic.”

“I don’t know that I can do this, George. I don’t think I can get clean. I was sober for over ten years and I was so quick to give it up. I can have a good day but then in an instant it’s like I’m back at square one all over again.” Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.

“Healing isn’t linear, Spencer.” George sighed a little. “Sometimes you have to take two steps forward and one step back on the road to recovery. Sometimes it’s two steps forward and five back. You’ll have good days, great days even. But you’ll also have the worst days of your life. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that it is worth it in the end.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say without a shadow of a doubt that I won’t ever touch drugs again. Nothing in this life is certain. But I can say for a fact that I don’t want to do drugs today. And I probably won’t tomorrow or next week or even next month. The thing with addiction is you just have to take each day as it comes, as you know. But you can’t expect to just get better overnight.”

“You should be a therapist.” Spencer found himself smiling.

“I can’t deal with listening to people whine about their problems.” George laughed.

The sound was infectious enough to make Spencer laugh too, for the first time in a really long time.

“Fair enough.” Spencer nodded, feeling lighter than he had done since he woke up in this place.

“I should uh…” George pointed over his shoulder to the door. “You have got to stop monopolising my time, Doctor. Just because you’re cute, doesn’t mean you can have me all to yourself.”

Spencer’s cheeks instantly flushed pink and buried himself further down in his sheet to try and hide his embarrassment. He watched George leave, sending Spencer a wink before he closed and locked the door behind him.

And goddamn if it weren’t for you constantly on his mind, he might have let himself fall for the dreamy nurse.

***

He was brought his breakfast by an orderly but he just moved the food around his plate with the plastic fork without eating any.

When the door opened again he assumed it would be the same orderly collecting his tray and was surprised when Doctor Delaney strolled in the room.

“How are you feeling?” He didn’t seem amused, he was frustrated if anything.

“Not great.” Spencer admitted.

“You terrified nurse Linda.” Delaney folded his arms not trying to hide his annoyance.

“So I’ve heard.” Spencer rolled his eyes.

“You’re going to go and take a shower and then it’s time for group therapy.”

“Pass.” Spencer folded his arms to mirror him.

“Excuse me?” Delaney raised an eyebrow at him.

“I said pass. I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to shower and I don’t want to go to group therapy. So I’m not.”

“You can’t spend all day in your room.”

“I did yesterday.” Spencer shrugged.

“Because you couldn’t be trusted around other people after your outburst.”

“Maybe I still can’t be.” Spencer unfolded his arms, picked up the plastic fork and stabbed it hard into a piece of bacon. “Do you want to take that risk?”

Delaney exhaled loudly through his nose.

“You’re a lot calmer than you were yesterday. I think it would prevalent to all involved that you-“

“Here’s the deal.” Spencer cut him off by shoving his tray of food on the floor, the sound clattering around the small room. “You make me leave this bed today and I will not be held accountable for my actions. I will strangle you with my bare hands just to get hold of a key to the medicine cabinet so I can get high. Does that sound calm to you?”

Delaney narrowed his eyes before scoffing and shaking his head.

“You’re only ruining your own life, Spencer. If you don’t want help then that’s fine by me. But if you threaten me or any of my staff again, I will turn you over to the cops.” Delaney spat at him, knowing it wasn’t at all professional and then fled the room before he said something he might regret.

As he locked the door behind him he heard Spencer screaming at the top of his lungs. Some people were beyond help. Maybe Spencer was one of them.

***

Spencer’s combination of medications made him inconceivably tired and he found himself sleeping through most of the day. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or not that it had been dreamless.

A part of him wanted to see your face even if only in his dreams. But now you were starting to fade from his memory it scared him every time he saw you.

This was the longest he’d been sober in years. He thought if anything his memories would be clearer once his mind was less foggy but it seemed to be having the opposite effect. He couldn’t lose you from his memories. He would break entirely if he lost all his recollections of you. He had to convince someone to call you. He had to see you no matter the cost.

He snaked his arms up the sleeves of his sweater under the sheet and wrapped them around himself. He rolled his head to the side on the pillow and was startled by a pair of icy blue eyes staring back at him.

“Who’s Y/N?” George smiled at him from where was sitting in the chair at the desk.

Spencer pulled his arms out from under the sheet and rubbed his eyes.

“What are you doing here? Where’s your scrubs?” He croaked.

“I got off shift a little while ago, thought I’d come check on you.” George shrugged.

“You’ve been watching me sleep? You do realise that’s incredibly creepy don’t you?”

“Who’s Y/N?” He avoided the question. “You were mumbling the name in your sleep.”

“Something you wouldn’t know if you weren’t watching me sleep.” Spencer scoffed. “She’s my ex-girlfriend.”

“Ah.” George pulled a face. “I always crush on the straight guys.”

“Should you be telling me that?” Spencer couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Probably not but I don’t think you’ll tell anyone.” George smiled at him and it was a very nice smile.

“And I’m not necessarily…straight. I’m…something.” Spencer shook his head.

“You’ve slept with men?” George smirked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Seems like an inappropriate question coming from my nurse, but…yes. I have been with men and women.” Spencer laughed again.

“So there’s hope for me yet?” George teased.

“I mean if this emaciated, drug addict look is your thing…?” Spencer rolled his eyes.

“I told you, my ex was a junkie. Guess I have a type.” George’s eyes sparkled playfully.

“Is it weird if I say I’m kind of flattered?” Spencer frowned. “I did not expect someone to find me attractive like this.”

“Well, I do.” George shrugged. “Which is kind of why I’m here.”

Spencer’s eyes widened and he hugged himself tighter.

“I uh…I don’t think we should…”

“Not that.” George laughed, standing up from the chair. “You think I’ve come here to get into your pants while you're trying to recover from a drug addiction? Please, I have morals.”

“Oh.” Spencer frowned again. “What did you mean then?”

George came to his bedside and smiled softly at him.

“I came to tell you that because I am attracted to you, I have requested a floor change. I’m not going to be giving out meds on this floor anymore. I think it’s for the best.”

“Oh.” Spencer pouted. “That’s…that’s a shame.”

“I can’t fall for another addict.” George took a step back.

“Fair enough.” Spencer nodded. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“You’re welcome.” George shrugged. “I should be getting off. I have two very hungry cats at home and if I’m late there will be hell to pay.”

“Ok.” Spencer didn’t know what else to say.

George backed towards the door and he reached it and opened it with one hand behind his back. He kept his eyes on Spencer and smiled wistfully.

“I hope you beat this Doctor Reid. I really hope you do.” He stepped out into the corridor.

“Me too.” Spencer admitted out loud.

He watched George close the door and lock it behind him.

He really meant it. Spencer really did want to beat this. He fought it so hard because it was easier being a drug addict than actually dealing with his trauma. But he did want to get better. He wanted to get clean and he wanted to be ok again. It wasn’t going to be easy, he knew that. But he had a new found determination that he was going to get better.

When another orderly brought him his dinner a little while later he asked to see a doctor. He wasn’t even a little surprised it wasn’t Delaney that came to his room.

He convinced the doctor to help him into his chair and wheel him to the right place. Thankfully he met little opposition from the new doctor who’s name he forgot, and he was taken to his destination.

Once inside the room with the door closed behind him, Spencer broke out into fits of sobs. He sobbed into his hands, loudly whining and whimpering as he got it out of his system. His whole body wracked with the weight of it all. His small frame shuddered from his sobs that he seemed to have been holding in for a lifetime.

He cried so much his eyes were sore and his nose was completely blocked. His sleeves were drenched with tears and snot but he didn’t seem to notice, let alone care. He cried for several long minutes before he forced himself to stop. There would be time for tears later.

He wiped his eyes on his sleeves before looking up. His bottom lip quivered as he looked her in the eye and squeaked, “I want to get better. And I want you to help me.”

Maggie smiled softly at him, nodding her head.

“Of course, Spencer. Of course I’ll help you.”

***

Three days passed and Spencer went about his new routine with surprisingly little resistance. That’s not to say he was thriving, not yet at least. But he hoped he’d get there.

Group therapy was by far his least favourite activity of the day. He was still reluctant to open up to Cedric and the group and when he did speak he usually kept it unemotional, facts rather than feelings.

His sessions with Maggie were much more preferable although still difficult. They’d started as she suggested in his childhood and discussed his fathers leaving and his mothers illness at great lengths. They moved on to his life as a child prodigy and to Spencer’s surprise they’d started unpacking a lot from that time.

Spencer had never really dwelled much on the pressure being so intelligent had put on his shoulders. Even when he joined the BAU, he was mostly just a prize for Gideon to show off, his walking talking know-it-all. He’d never realised how much that had affected his mental well-being, or how much of an intense burden it was to be so smart at such a young age.

She’d made him see that because of his intelligence he’d been more aware of all the bad in his life. Most ten years old wouldn’t have been so impressed upon by their fathers abandonment. But because Spencer was smarter than the average ten year old he’d been more conscious of what was happening. The same could be said for his mothers illness.

In their session today they’d started to unpack the stresses and strains of a twenty two year old genius joining the FBI.

Therapy exhausted Spencer mentally. PT exhausted him physically. But he could now take tentative steps with the aid of crutches, even if it had pained him tremendously to do so. Nick advised using the wheelchair where he could but said as long as he was careful he was happy for Spencer to try using the crutches to get about.

He still craved drugs and he knew that wasn’t going to change any time soon and his medication was yet to make an impact. But he was trying. It was going to be an uphill battle but he was really trying.

It was Tuesday which meant it was visitation day. It was a sunny afternoon and his new doctor, who he’d learnt was called Doctor Sanderson, suggested having his visitor meet him in the courtyard.

Spencer used his crutches to get from his room to the garden area and found his guest at a bench next to some rose bushes. When he saw the back of her head he picked up his speed, almost tripping on the crutches in his excitement.

“Garcia!” He called her name as he approached and she turned to face him.

The minute she laid eyes on him she started crying instantly.

“Boy wonder!” She screeched, jumping up and almost tackling him in a hug. “Oh my gosh I missed you so very, very much!”

“I missed you too.” He couldn’t hug her back as he was gripping his crutches but he nuzzled his face in her neck so she knew he was trying.

She pulled back and looked him up and down, her face contorting into an expression of sadness.

“Oh Spencer, look at you.”

“I know.” He nodded. “It’s not ideal.”

“Come, sit down.” She motioned him to the bench and he hobbled behind her on his crutches before falling to the bench rather unceremoniously.

Garcia plastered her practiced smile back on and reached next to her, producing a Tupperware pot full of cookies.

“For me?” Spencer’s eyes lit up slightly.

“As long as you don’t mind sharing.” Garcia popped the lid and let Spencer help himself to one of the chocolate chip discs of heaven.

He took a large bite and hummed around a mouthful.

“Holy crap this is the best thing I’ve eaten in…a long time.”

“Good huh?” Garcia took a bite of her own. “I made them with Henry and Michael. Michael said to make sure you know he sprinkled it with extra love.”

Spencer’s eyes immediately glistened with tears.

“Tell him I can taste it.” He sniffed.

“Also they drew you pictures. They couldn’t wait until JJ came to see you for you to have them.” She picked up the stack of childrens drawings and handed them to Spencer while he finished the cookie and helped himself to another.

“These will certainly brighten up my room.” He smiled a little sadly. “Thank them for me.”

“Oh I most certainly will.” She smiled at him but it faltered. “How are you?”

“I honestly don’t know. It's hard, being here, being sober. It’s hard to open up when I’ve spent so much of my life shutting down. It’s a struggle every day. But I do want to get better.” Spencer gave her a tight lipped smile.

“You had me worried sick.” She nibbled on her cookie. “I thought you were going to die.”

Spencer sighed and chewed on his lip.

“I wanted to die. I know that’s not what you want to hear but if being in this place is teaching me anything it’s that I need to be honest. And the truth is I wanted to die.”

Garcia pouted her bright pink lip and put the half eaten cookie back in the container. She turned her body towards Spencer and gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Do you still feel that way?” Her voice cracked a little.

“Honestly, sometimes. I think it’s going to be a while until I don’t feel that way.”

“Oh Spencer.” She squeezed his shoulder. “I should have done more to help you.”

“Don’t say that, Penelope. I pushed you away, I haven’t seen any of you in so long you couldn’t have known…” he trailed off when Garcia’s expression changed. “What is it?”

“I saw you…seven, maybe eight months ago.” A tear rolled from her eye under the thick rim of her purple glasses.

“You did?” Spencer frowned.

“Yes.” She sniffed dramatically. “I was on my way home from work and this new Thai place had opened down the street and I thought boy genius loves Thai food, I wonder if he’d like some. So I brought some food over.”

“And I was high.” Spencer filled in the blanks.

“You were a mess…”

She tottered up the stairs on her too high heels, balancing take out containers in her arms with a smile on her face. It had been so long since she’d last seen Spencer and she couldn’t wait to see the look on the good doctor's face when she showed up with his favourite cuisine.

But when she reached the top of the stairs, she immediately dropped every single one of the containers on the floor.

“Spencer!” She shrieked, running as fast as her heels would carry her to his door.

Spencer was slumped on the floor, his back to his apartment door, head bowed and eyes closed. There was a puddle of vomit next to him on the floor.

“Spencer! Oh my god Spencer! Are you breathing? Please tell me you’re breathing!” She fell to her knees, gripping his jaw to pull his head back and pressing her fingers on her other hand to the pulse point on his neck.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his pulse, albeit a thready one.

“Spencer! Boy wonder! Can you hear me?” Grabbing him by the shoulders she gave him a firm shake.

His body was limp like a rag doll for a moment and then suddenly he stiffened and his eyes shot open.

“Huh?” He blinked a few times trying to focus.

“Spence, it’s me, Penelope. Can you hear me?”

“Y-yes.” He nodded. “What are you doing here? Where are we?”

“Outside your apartment G-Man. What are you doing here?” She helped him to his feet and he wobbled a little before leaning against the wall for support.

She saw the cogs turning in his head for a moment before he nodded to himself.

“I locked myself out. I lost my keys.”

Garcia looked around but it didn’t take her long to see his set of keys dangling from the lock in the door.

“Those keys?” She frowned, pointing at them.

Spencer rubbed his eyes with his palms and blinked again before smiling dumbly.

“My keys!” He cheered. “What would I do without you Garcia?”

He pushed himself away from the wall but stumbled and Garcia quickly steadied him.

“Let’s get you inside.” With one hand she balanced Spencer and unlocked the door with the other.

“What happened? Spence? Where have you…”

“Y/N?”

“Sorry?” Garcia snapped out of her story and looked at Spencer who was staring off across the courtyard.

“I thought I saw…” he shook his head and looked back at her. “Sorry, carry on.”

Garcia narrowed her eyes on him briefly before exhaling and continuing with her story.

“What happened? Spence? Where have you been?” She aided in getting him inside and couldn’t hold back her gasp at the state of the apartment.

Spencer didn’t even seem to notice, or he was just used to it, and manoeuvred the obstacles of destruction towards the couch.

“Hmm? Oh just out.” He shrugged, collapsing on the beat up leather.

“Are those…bullet holes?” She gasped again at the obliterated end of the couch.

“Hmm.” Spencer hummed, swinging his legs up and laying down.

“Spencer, what’s happened here? I’m really worried about…”

“Y/N?”

Garcia trailed off again to see Spencer once more looking out across the courtyard.

“I…I’m sure that’s…” he frowned, grabbing his crutches and pushing himself up with them. “I’ll be right back.”

“Spencer, where are you-“

“I’ll be two minutes.” He called over his shoulder but he was already hobbling away on his crutches.

It was frustrating not to be able to move faster as he tried to hurry after the familiar back of a head he’d seen wandering the institute's grounds. He followed the path he saw you take behind the building into a more secluded part of the gardens.

He found you sitting in the grass with your back to him, legs crossed and your head buried in a book. His heart raced partly from the exertion of getting here but mostly from excitement. You were here. You were right in front of him. You’d found him.

“Y/N?” He called your name as he approached and you spun round to face him, wide eyed.

For the first time in a long time your features weren’t blurred. You looked exactly as he remembered you, maybe a little skinnier and with the addition of dark circles under your eyes.

“Y/N!” He choked, feeling his tears gathering. “Oh my gosh, you came! Y/N I can’t believe you’re here!”

You jumped up from the grass and clutched your book tightly to your chest. You kept your eyes firmly on him, your back was up instantly.

“Y/N, say something.” Spencer smiled shakily at you and when he got too close you took a few steps back.

“This is my reading spot. My private reading spot.” You spoke quietly.

“Maybe it can be our reading spot?”

“No. No.” You shook your heading, taking another step backwards. “I like to be alone.”

“Y/N, what’s going on?”

You clutched your book tighter against your chest as though it was a shield. You took another step backwards and swallowed hard.

“Look, I just want to be left alone ok?” Your eyes held a hint of fear to them.

Spencer’s eyebrows knitted heavily as he profiled your expression as you looked at him. He didn’t see a hint of recognition. It was like you had no idea who he was.

“I…we…” he stumbled on his words.

“Look I was on a lot of drugs ok? So if we slept together or something I’m sorry but I don’t remember a lot of stuff.” Your eyes shifted about, not able to look at one thing for too long.

“Drugs? You weren’t on drugs.” Spencer shook his head.

“Why do you think I’m here?” You shrugged.

“You’re not…I thought you were here to…see me?”

“Why would I be here to see you?”

“Because we...” He trailed off, his head spinning. Was he asleep? Was this just another of his vivid dreams?

“Please leave me alone” you whispered, hugging your book even tighter.

What the fuck was going on?

“Y/N, I…”

“Spencer?” Garcia’s voice came from behind him and he looked over his shoulder to see her toddling his way, heels sinking into the grass. “Spencer, what are you doing?”

“I…I was just…” he turned back to face you only to find you gone, vanished as if into thin air.

What the fuck is happening to me?

“You need to sit down, come on.” Garcia waved him over.

He looked between her and the now empty space. Was he completely losing it?

“Spencer, come on.”

He sighed heavily and turned himself around and hobbled towards Garcia. He kept his thoughts at bay until they were seated back on the bench.

“Garcia, I need to talk to you about Y/N.”

Much like Emily, Luke and Rossi, her facial expression changed to one Spencer just couldn’t read.

“Uh…” she fiddled with her hands in her lap and wouldn’t make eye contact with him. “Emily said we aren’t supposed to talk to you about that.”

“What? Why?” Spencer frowned.

“I just can't, ok? I promised Em.”

“Penelope, tell me what’s going on.” Spencer spoke sternly and Garcia still didn’t look at him as she pushed herself up from the bench.

“I should go. Take such good care of yourself boy wonder.”

“Garcia!” He pulled himself up too. “Tell me what’s going on! Please!”

“I can’t.” She turned back to him and he saw the tears in her eyes. “Just trust me ok? Please, just trust me.”

“I need someone to explain to me why nobody will talk about her. What am I missing here, Penelope?”

He looked so sad and confused and it broke Garcia’s heart.

“Sometimes the truth doesn’t set us free.” She sniffed and suddenly she was hurrying away as fast as her heels would carry her.

Spencer watched her go, in complete uncertainty. Something was going on. Something bigger than he could comprehend. He was missing something and he was sure it was something big.

The team was keeping something from him. Something pertaining to you and he had no idea what.

But he had to find out.

Next Chapter

Taglist

@andiebeaword @measure-in-pain @takeyourleap-of-faith @dirtytissuebox @smurphyse @ssa-uglywhore27 @reidselle @reidsbookclub @tiredmilky @thatsonezesty13 @1mechanicalalligator @elle-28

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem! reader #criminals minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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jareaulamontagnes · 7 months

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Hi friends, how are you? Haven’t really taken up the time to write a blog post. Oh, I’m obsessed with Willifer now, couldn’t you tell? New favourite ship… In this time, I have watched, finished then rewatched Criminal Minds. Love JJ, Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss and of course William Lamontagne Jr for the life of me. Cannot wait for season 2 of Evolution, I love that silly show.

And I’ve started watching Grey’s Anatomy, I never thought I would be that person but Disney + man, it’s a godsend. I’m currently on Season 4 and I have a few unpopular opinions about that show as well.

Now, the reason I’m back… I’m sure you’re all just waking up or have reacted) to the news that Tracy’s leaving CPD.

… And I’m not sad, I’m actually relieved which is so messed up when you think about it but I’m sure a lot of Upstead and Hailey fans can relate when you love something as deeply as Upstead is loved, their entire foundation only for it to be ruined in an entire season for actually NO REASON (like fight me on this, Gwen could’ve chosen a different route instead of more trauma), was really difficult and emotional for me that I didn’t watch the season, apart from the first three episodes, only the two centric Hailey episodes after 10x03, 10x20 I only watched that unbelievable ring taking off scene and Voight and Hailey’s talk… that angered me, the less I say about that episode the better apart from the fact that Tracy’s amazing, and a literal goddess and we all know about the two episodes before that, character assassination, we’ll be here forever if we go into this.

But yes, Hailey Upton is an amazing character and even though it’s a tv show, I feel strongly for and about her and with the fact that she’s an amazing, amazing cop, her marriage to Jay is everything to me because what they’ve gone through individually in their own lives just to find that right person in each other is beautiful and I do think it’s a testament to how your person should be your best friend and someone you trust explicitly. Plus, Jesse and Tracy are amazing and I loved them the moment I saw them on screen together so… 🥰

Tracy Spiridakos is an amazing actress and as much as I will miss Hailey Upton, I know Tracy’s gonna kick ass with whatever she will do next. Her range is incredible, I can’t sing her praises enough, I absolutely love that woman.

Now, my long speech is over. See you for whenever Season 11 airs, hope you all are staying safe, healthy and happy.

And as ALWAYS, Upstead Forever ✨

#chicago pd #hailey upton #tracy spiridakos #upstead #upstead forever

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okimargarvez · 11 months

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Directors

I think that it could be at least funny considering garvez in the episodes directed by cast members.

Adam Rodriguez

He directed three episodes: 13x16, 14x8, 16x4. In the first, Last Gasp, we have to say that we don't have a lot of garvez... but we have a lot of Penelope screen time. And it's interesting to consider exactly this: the way Adam conceives PG. The dresses she wears, beige! Her shoes... At the end, we have a little garvez moment, when Penelope asks Luke if he can help her with her box. We also see Luke staring Pen, so happy that he claps his hands.

In the second, Ashley, we have a lot of garvez moment, because Luke can't go on the field. Emily tells him that he has to work with PG, then the named arrives, but her focus is on Rossi. Luke says that they will be lab partners, with a love gaze. But she replies in a harsh way and runs away. Then, we see them working together at the case. He is about to answer, but Garcia interrupts him and says that she is saying the same as Luke, but with more chutzpah, wit, and eloquence. He smirks. Then, almost at the end, they have a great idea to solve the case. After it, they set the brief room, Luke says that they are a dynamic duo, but she refuses to hit his hand, and replies that they will never be a duo, plus, he didn't help, he must force her to weire beige, deny all unicorns things... to make her admit that. Then, she gets a text and asks his help. At the end, we discover that it was for prepare the engagement party for Rossi and Krystall. Luke starest her almost all the time, waiting, asking, begging for get a hug from her. She allows him, and he kisses her cheek first. Rossi pats his back. He brushes her arm, when they detach. It's interesting that in S14 the relationship between them is friendlier, but in this ep, directed by Adam, we see the queen of ice again. Maybe because he character loves to be teased by her?

In the third, Pay-per-View, they work together. Luke reaches her in her office. She says that she has to ask him something; he replies that if is to babysitting Sergio again, he needs med for his allergies. She thanks him in her way and he smirks. Penelope is digging in Tyler Green life and has found that he was the last who saw his sister. She shows her idea to Luke, asking his opinion. He replies that it's a great idea. She seems surprised and says that rumors say he was difficult to work with... but she start them. He smirks again, then tells her that she should talk with Emily after the brief. But she refuses it, saying that he should do it, because it involves him. They argue until they reach the team. But start again when the discussion is over. Emily is confused by their behave. Luke introduces PG idea, then she finally is able again to talk. He still shows his support for her, and gives her a little shot when Prentiss says that it's a great idea. But she is worried that she can talk with Tyler, after the last time. Luke replies at her place, that the answer is yes, but Pen says that she is not sure. Then we see Penelope and Emily watch Luke making the cognitive interview. Green asks, in a rude and desperate way, to never say her (Penelope) again. Luke turns around and looks at the girls, probably especially at Pen.

Joe Mantegna

He directed six episodes with garvez: 12x7, 12x19, 13x9, 13x18, 14x6, 16x3. In the first, Mirror Image, we have an important moment for them, even if it seems just funny. Penelope is worried for Tara, but discovers that it's just an experiment (and a bet), to see how much she can keep a confidence. Luke says that he bets her for 6. She, really angry and disappointed, leaves the room saying that they all suck, especially the Newbie. Luke seems not so happy. Then we see them working close, with the rest of the team, on the case.

The second, True North, has just them interacting for the case.

It's the same for the third, False Flag. Luke asks twice for information; that's all.

The fourt, The Dance of Love, is Rossi centric, with also Krystall. We don't see them interact, they are in the same room only during the brief. To be honest, we see Luke picking up Garcia calling, but not her, zero frame.

It's a totally different thing for the fifth, Luke. We see Luke so annoyed when Phil, his best friend, asks about her, because he wants to try with the blonde. Then, when Alvez reaches the BAU, he meets Penelope, who wants to know all about the big moving. She is really happy for him and Lisa. But, the most important thing is that Luke lies to her, when she asks if Phil asked about her. Then, the latter says JJ to tell Garcia he says hi, and Luke seems not happy again. PG and Luke interact a lot in this episode, even if just for work. He then refuses her support, just asking her to keep Lou for a while, after Phil death. Garcia is not happy to dig in Luke private life, she is so worried for him.

In the sixth, Moose, we have just little shades, because Luke can't behave when Penelope is around. She makes a joke, she speaks, she tries whatever... he smirks.

A. J. Cook

She directed two episodes with garvez: 14x13 and 16x8. The first, Chameleon, is a Rossi centric episode. We still have a little moment, that has zero sense for the plot. Rossi, in a no-good shape, arrives at the BAU, and meets Penelope and Luke, that are talking, close. They also exchange a gaze, when he leaves. Then they talk once during the brief.

The second, Forget Me Knots, has an interesting garvez scene. Penelope reaches Luke and Tara, that are talking about the case. He asks her if that is all she could find; she calls him sir, and replies that will keep search. But, wait. Garcia doesn't treat bad Luke, so he asks directly her where is the snark. He expected it. She replies that he is funny and to be less hard on himself, then leaves. Luke, shocked, says to Tara "She is getting some", and the woman agrees. The three interact again, just for work, two times, during the episode. Considering that JJ is the number one fan of garvez, maybe I expect more by her actress.

Aisha Tyler

She directed three episodes: 13x6, 14x9, 16x7. In the first, The Bunker, we have some shades. Garcia and JJ are looking for a new apartment for the IT; then Matt, Spencer and Luke arrive in different moment. Alvez asks her if her cat has things, she replies yes, then, when he declares that he is all for living only with the things you really need (looking at her), she agrees, but nobody believes her. They interact again almost at the end, when the team discuss about surviver life style. Then, again, at the end, when they come back.

The second, Broken Wings, is a Tara episode. It's not so amazing then that they interact only one time, about the case, in the middle of the episode.

The third, What Doesn't Kill Us, is the most interesting for garvez content. Even if Penelope and Luke don't interact, it's still important for the plot (sigh), because at the end of the episode we have a kiss between Tyler and Garcia, and, after the credits, even worst. But this will have consequences, during the series, that will involve garvez.

Matthew Gray Gubler

He directed three episodes with garvez: 12x6, 13x17, 14x5. Only in the first, Elliot's pond, we have some little shades. But I'm not totally sure that is because of MGG, and not Adam, who couldn't hold his crush on PG character. When they discover what happened to Hotch, Luke and Penelope are close (really close, their bodies touch each other). At the time that Garcia is about to crying, his gaze is magnetized by her. Then, on the jet, we have two other shades: her "my brain's a little lunky" joke, and "Bones cool name ever". At the end of the ep, when the team is celebrating Emily new unit chief, they are close (and we can guess with their arms around shoulders).

In the second, The Capilanos, they don't interact, and not even talk about the case; it's a waste, if you remember that Penelope is scared by clown. In the third, The Tall Man, we have just a neutral interaction, during the brief; it's not so weird, considering that is a JJ episode.

All my ramblings

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #luke x penelope #penelope x luke #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #penelope garcia x luke alvez #luke alvez x penelope garcia #adam rodriguez #joe mantegna #matthew gray gubler #a j cook #aisha tyler #criminal minds evolution #criminal minds reboot

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fuckingstrange · 2 months

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SPECIALS MASTERLIST

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Christmas Ficlist ! - 2023's Christmas Spencer-centric Ficlist

Birthday's Ficlist - planned !! Will post first fic on any of the cm charecters birthdays! - Penelope Garcia (July 7th), Jason Gideon (June 1st), Aaron Hotchner (Nov 2nd), Spencer Reid (Oct 12th), Derek Morgan (June 6th), Elle Greenway (June 24th), Jennifer "JJ" Jareau (Nov 22nd), Emily Prentiss (x), David Rossi (May 9th), Luke Alvez (x), Matt Simmons (Nov 28th), + if I forgot any !! -Garcia, Prentiss, and Simmons will be given their actors birthdays because I can't find the charecters birthdays. (already inserted to the list)

#Masterlist #strange's special place #muahahahaha #new tag dickhead

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scorpsik · 1 year

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Fics masterlist.

All links for AO3 X Most are angst/Emily Prentiss centric, so there'll be injuries, bravado, self doubt, scars, smoking, drinking, swearing+ talk of abortions. A lot of these are friendship style fics. I hope you enjoy xx

Even more. I'm so sorry

Last ones, I promise

ART ON REDBUBBLE!

Just Dirt In The Ground : Em struggles with the anniversary of her death. Angst. JJ friendship.

Moving On : 3 chapters of a 10 yr old Em and the effects of moving around as a child. 1 chapter at 15 when she has lost herself. Angst; lewd behaviour; Matt Benton; John Cooley

Coming Clean : IF Em told the team about Ian, she might have done it like this. Angst. Rossi, Hotch.

Lungs Of The Earth : Some humour. Team chase an unsub through the woods. Multiple POV.

New Beginnings : Emily becomes chief. Rossi, Hotch.

When Nightmares Return : Askari kidnaps JJ's son. Can Em save them? Angst, torture, SA. JJ, Hotch, Will. 4 chapters.

Sin : Matt Benton helps Em through the very worst time in her life. Can she be there for his? Angst, drugs, sex, abortion, OD, bad parents.

Shellshock : Slight diversion from 'Run'. Em has concussion as she tries to save Will. Angst, bombs. Team dynamic.

Cold Pizza : Hotch brigs Em home for some TLC post Doyle arc. Friendship. Angst, memories.

Life Is Very Long When You're Lonely : Em feels very alone after Paris and seeks out Rossi. Angst, bleak, friendship.

Quicksand : Em is gravely injured in the field. Injury, blood. Luke, Rossi.

Eggs : Teen Em gets very drunk. Did she do something bad? Hotch knows. Friendship.

Don't Leave Me Alone : Those first, awful days in Paris. Angst, scars. JJ friendship.

Mom : Emily tries to explain why she isn't actually dead. Angst. Elizabeth P.

Weight : Demonology. Em worries that she let Matt down. Angst, abortion, Rossi friendship.

What's Inside : 9 year old Em finds magic. Fluff. Yes, fluff. No angst.

Hero : Em reflects on her past as she awaits rescue. Kidnapping, reminiscing, threat. Ian Doyle.

Reunion : Now Scratch is dead, an old friend can return. Hotch, Rossi. Friendship, humour.

Remember Me? : 4 chapters. Derek and Em are kidnapped. Torture, blood, talk of SA, violence.

Parallels : Tiny piece written from an image I saw of CME. Rossi, friendship, bereavement.

Surrogate Sisters : 4 mini JJ/Em friendship fics moving through the series. Some angst, scars, humour.

Poison Ivy Ya Come Creepin' : Humour. Em gets stung. Swearing. Rossi.

Clueless Babysitter's Club : Penelope and Em are the WORST babysitters. Humour.

Trust : Em is back from Paris - but not all Agents trust her. Heavy angst. Slut shaming, self doubt. Hotch friendship. Nasty agents. Boo.

A Better Life : Em and Andrew adopt. 5 chapters. Angst and fluff.

Whole Again : Rossi makes Em feel good in her first day as chief. Friendship.

Butterflies : Filler fic on how Em spent those first days grounded at the BAU.

Opening Up : Andrew asks Em about her scars. Fluff, injury, scars.

Option A : What if the team DIDN'T fake Em's death? Angst. Ian Doyle.

A Dish Best Served Cold : I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. Ep 300 SHOULD HAVE BEEN A PRENTISS EP!! So now it friggin' well is. Angst. Reid.

Medals : Em gets an award, but it doesn't make her happy. Rossi. Angst. Stephen Walker death.

Loving/Loved : 2 chapters. Em visits Declan. Angst, fluff. Doyle.

Compartments : Returning from Paris, Em must face Ian again. Angst, fear, injury. Hotch, Declan, Doyle.

Coming To ; Em comes out of her coma alone. Bleak. Post Doyle. Injury, angst. Hotch, JJ.

Damage Limitations : Em tries to help Hotch deal with the spectre of Foyet. 'Haunted' ep. Friendship. Angst.

For Him ; short fic as Em fakes Declan's death.

Drinking Buddies; 3 chapters on Derek/Emily's friendship through the show. Drinking, humour, scars.

A Crack In The Past ; A case brings back memories for Em. Reflections of desire related. Torture, injury, war. Rossi friendship.

Dandy-Lion : Post Minimal Loss, Em turns to Spencer for comfort. PTSS, injury, fear, nightmares, comfort, friendship.

Growing Up : Teen Em makes a few decisions about her future. Hotch friendship.

Paternally Yours : 6 short fics on Rossi/Em's friendship through the years. Angst, humour, injury.

Desperately Seeking Emily : Heavy angst. Post Doyle. Emily is lost and Rossi tries to help. Angstangstangst, injury, shame, comfort.

The Promises I Make : JJ asks Em for a special favour. Fluff.

Boys Don't Cry ; Em interrogates a lad who reminds her of herself.

Scratches That Won't Heal : The after effects of Mr Scratch plague Em. Angst, PTSS, panic attacks. JJ friendship, ccomfort.

Becoming ; Emily is becoming Lauren. She IS Lauren. Angst. Doyle.

Pig Farming 101 : Humour. Derek, Penelope, Em.

Good Dog : 'Keeper' related. Em connects with Todd. Reid.

Facing It Together : JJ helps Em through a nightmare. Angst, injury, Doyle.

Shoulda Woulda Coulda ; 7 chapters, one for each team member, relating to how they cope with Em's death. Angst angst and a little more angst.

Motel : Em has a one night stand, but her scars are an issue. sex, scars, shame. Nothing too explicit.

The Day After ; Rossi talks with Em the day after Demonology. Angst, friendship.

Maths Is A Very Serious Topic ; Post Paris. Em and Derek tease Spencer. Humour.

Could I..? : Em has feels for Andrew. Injury, fluff.

Last To Leave : 9 year old Em wait in vain for her parents to collect her from school. Awful parents.

Check : Gideon weighs up the newest member of the team: Prentiss.

I Am... I Was.. ; Lauren Reynolds is dead, but not cold. Angst. Tsia.

Pennyroyal Tea : 3 chapters. Em has therapy. Doyle, injury, self doubt, bad memories, comfort.

Sallow Skinned, Starry Eyed, Blessed In Our Sin : BLEAK!! Just hopelessly bleak. Em is back from Paris and feels like she has nothing. Ouch.

You Were There For Me. I Am There For You. : 6 chapters, one for each character. 2 stories per chapter of friendship: Em with; Derek, Hotch, Spencer, Dave, Penelope and JJ.

Coffee And Hot Sauce ; Teen Em is suspended from college. Hotch friendship.

Memories ; Being at JJ and Will's house brings back memories for Em. Angst, abortion, bad parenting. Rossi friendship.

Against The Clock ; Diffusing a bomb?? pfft. Easy. Angst. 'Run' related. Will, JJ, Hotch.

A Phone Call Away : After Maeve's death, Em calls Spencer. Angst, grief, comfort.

Anniversary ; Oh, angst. Anniversary of the abortion. Anniversary of the stabbing. Joyful, as you can imagine. Not :) xx

The Worst Of Times : Hayley is dead and Em tries to comfort Aaron. Grief, love, friendship.

Coming Home : Em returns to the US to catch the Tribute killer... but the experience is overwhelming. Angst, self doubt, grief. Comfort. Rossi friendship.

Imaginary Friends ; Alone in Paris, Em imagines how each of her friends could help her. One chapter per friend. Angst, injury, loneliness.

Adrenaline : Em loses her cool going after Dale Shrader (Retaliation). Angst, anger, injury.

Parents ; God Em's parents are SO AWFUL. Angst, shame, Rossi friendship. 2 chapters.

Cavalry : The team save Em from her awful parents. 2 chapters.

Baptism ; After her return from Paris, is Em immortal or does she have a death wish? 'Epilogue' related.

Four Times Emily Prentiss Was Alone For A Nightmare And One Time She Wasn't : I am an evil, evil bitch. Sorry. Clearly this isn't a fun fic.

Forgiveness Is Divine : References to abortion and child death. Rossi heals some of Em's wounds. Angst and comfort.

Something To Remember Me By : Dave takes Em out for dinner before she heads to London. Friendship.

Poisonous : 'Amplification' related. JJ and Em discuss their fears on the case.

If That Mockingbird... : Em is 5. Her parents say she is bad. Agh...awful parents again.

Desert Garden ; Who has been sleeping in Dave's office? Angst. Doyle arc. Despair and sadness.

Making It Better : Em has a nightmare on the jet, and Derek isn't s sympathetic as JJ at first. Nightmares, injury, Doyle arc, hurt/comfort.

Paths That Cross : Paris, 84. Rossi meets a young teenaged girl who is lost in the world. My heart hurt writing this. Angst, and ugh... sad little Em.

It Is What It Is : '25 to life' related. Em's ability to compartmentalise had all but crumbled by now. Angst, death, blood. Derek friendship.

Pieces : A collection of fragments from Demonology. JJ, Hotch, Rossi, angst.

Unhappy Birthday ; Rossi has visited Yates again on his birthday. But he has a visitor who helps him heal. Friendship, angst. Em.

On Your Side : Jordon Todd has a friend in Emily.

Till The End Of The Day : Em needs to apologise to Dave. S15.

Esta Bien Querida : 'Rite of passage'. This case assaulted all of Em's senses. Angst, blood, death, talk of SA, petulance. Hotch, Derek, Dave.

Too Late : The team struggle individually to cope with Em's death. Angst, angst, guilt, angst.

Rendezvous : Em and Mick Rawson get together. Mild sex.

Shots : Derek, Dave and Em are injured on a mission. Copious blood, injury, hospitals, friendship.

After ; Dave talks to Em after Minimal Loss. Friendship, injury.

Quid Pro Quo : Strauss has Em over a barrel.

Just Cal My Name : Penelope helps Em relax after the Scratch ordeal. PTSS, massage, friendship, humour.

Confession ; Em has something to tell Dave. Guilt, angst, PTSS, scars, smoking, fear, friendship.

What She Needs ; Dave will be whatever Em needs him to be. Implied sex, scars, love.

Getting To Know You : New partners Morgan and Prentiss get to know one another.

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