#HAHAHAHA I'VE NEVER BEEN IN MORE PAIN IN MY LIFE

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S2

Awww, I like that Bond Forger the Dog also gets an intro about HIS secret identity. Equal opportunity deceit

Are we finally going to learn who exacty Yor is fighting? I would like to know!

Been there Anya, I also had little patience for watching the news as as a kid. Though, it seems more important in a pre-internet era

"Okay, you can change the channel." Loid Forger, International Spy, defeated by one (1) sad look from his little daughter

"I absolutely cannot tell him that I got shot in the butt while fighting a group of armed men." 10/10 episode plot, I cannot wait

"I've been relying on her too much without realizing it, and it's upset her. Yes, that must be it! I must do everything in my power to remedy this at once!" Loid immediately blaming Yor's mood on himself and deciding he has to be respond by being a better husband!!! I will keep saying it. He is THE Husband. World's Most Husband

"Why don't we go on a date?" HEE HEE

Puzzling that Yor thinks she hasn't been on a date though, when I can think of at least three dates so far (party-grenade-proposal date, lunch date, and drinks-and-reassurance date)

"I can't leave Anya alone at home, and this is a very important mission to ensure that we remain one happy family." It seems Loid has learned from the spy transmission debacle

"Last night, I came up with 862 date plans to ensure that Yor has fun." He's insane. I want to give him a leetle kiss

HAHAHAHA Franky being absolutely thrilled to bother Loid and Yor on their date. What a friendship 💕

Intriguing that Anya's telepathy has a distance limit. Tell me more!

Honestly, Yor having to position herself in a specific way to avoid pain is relatable. We love a chronic pain queen

"This woman had built up an immunity to poisons." HAHAHAHAHA the poison fixing Yor's pain. Sometimes, drinking does solve your problems!

LMAOOOO them censoring the bomb components. A real "don't try this at home" moment

NOT THE BABY MAKING THE BOMB. ANYA PLEASE

"I'm going to forget all this and live a normal life." Perfect. Forgers reforming their enemies left and right

"If it's not too much trouble, please invite me out again sometime." Never let being married stand in the way of your husband becoming your boyfriend 🥰

SCREAM at Bond's perception of what Loid does for work. I guess he's closer to the truth than most:

"Are you trying to do this for your... no. Are you trying to get revenge for your friends who were experimented on?" HAHAHA is Loid blushing because he wants to call himself his dog's dad?

FBKFJHFFHKJHF Loid taking on Bond as his mission back-up. He truly can be swayed so easily

WHERE DID LOID GET A DOG-SIZED SKI MASK AHHAHAHA

I love the giant puppy spy sidekick, employ this dog ASAP

"While they're busy playing, I'm going to work hard to get to the top," said Damian Desmond, Six Years Old, for whom The Top was beating all the other little bougie first graders

"Your friendship... preciously elegant." Me whenever I finish hanging out with my friends

I love that Henderson-sensei sends the kids out on a picnic as a punishment. He really is as silly as he is strict

I don't know if this is a vegetarian thing or a cultural thing but it always seems wild to me how people in anime bite into fish, scales and all

"Did you know that the most recent studies in neuroscience suggest that your brain feels really revitalized when you're spacing out?" I like Mr. Green, Grizzled Navy Custodian, too

HAHA Damian trying his hardest to space out. Me when people tell me to practice mindfulness

"Oh, you don't [have a goal], eh? That's perfectly fine!" "Actually, I want to live my life eating lots of snacks." "Splendid! You'll have to think earnestly about how to make that possible." I take it back, I LOVE MR. GREEN

Ready to sob about this field trip actually. AHHHHHHH:

"Good evening, Mr. Vile Trash." ACAB; All Cops are (Weird) Brothers

"What's so wrong about trying to improve the country my family lives in?" Nothing but the hostile, paternalistic nationalism of a Cold War, Frank Perkin, Newspaper Sensationalist and Adult Bully of Wealthy Children

"I'll request that your father gets some financial aid to get by." I feel like that will not make up for imprisoning his son, Yuri, but whatever helps you sleep

"Blech." That's also how I feel about Weird Brother Yuri, Anya

"Revenge will only make you sadder. I'll make you forget about all that with my love." This is the plot of Naruto

Honestly, I was super sold on the Bondman Polycule when it was just him, his spy partner Agent M, and the enemy spy lady who had all linked arms together. I feel like this could work:

"How was anything he did gentlemanly?" Loid said: I'm a one-woman kind of spy

"Lord Damian, how could you possibly pick the joker there." "Shut up!' [Internally] She's so unfair... Damn it! I like to believe Loid might approve of Damian's crush purely because he is also willing to do whatever Anya wants if she makes one (1) sad face

Poor Anya. She's really most suited to using her street smarts

"Garden? The group of assassins who have been in this country for ages? They're basically urban legends, aren't they?" FINALLY we're finding out more about Yor's job!! They do in fact seem at cross purposes with the spies

[Loid already walking away] "He's such a heartless jerk." I bet you $5 he has already decided to help Franky LMAO

Update from 8 min later: Alright, I owe you $5, he didn't care

"Am I normal?! Oh, thank goodness!" said Yor excitedly, as if that were not a moderately suspicious response to being called normal

Excited for an ep with no double-barreled title. Plot progression!

I truly don't know where this falls on the spectrum of ways that anime will depict black and brown characters LMAO. Like Donovan Desmond, the Shopkeeper has an extremely haunting aura:

"You will be providing protection on this mission." Oooooh, change of pace!

"Is there actually any reason why I should continue my job as a killer?" A question every assassin should ask themselves, I think

"HQ may or may not be trying to cut back on our shady overtime practices." Incredible. I can't believe even the underground spy agency has PTO. I wonder who regulates spy labour law

"If not for this bodyguard job, the three of us could've enjoyed this vacation together." AWWW Yor loves her family so much

"You can say this is a gangster's destiny." [Reba voice] A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid never stops!

"Papa! We need to hurry up and explore the ship before it sinks!" "It's not going to sink! Stop scaring everyone." The fact the staircase looks distinctly modelled after that one scene from Titanic really sells Anya's point

Loid incapable of framing having fun as anything but a mission ljggkjgj truly he might benefit from a Real Psychologist

"That family's just for camoflauge, right?" "Yes, you're right... Is... that true?" I love Yor slowly admitting that she loves her family for their own sake 💗

As Yor was declaring doing her best, I did worry briefly that someone was going to [redact] Olka. Other anime have been less kind to me than Spy x Family

I love Yor making another mum friend in Olka 💞 Gal pals

Finally saying suspicious things in public has a consequence!!

"It's been a while since we've had dinner without Mama." "Yeah, it's a bit lonely." Hee hee, Loid misses his wife

I love the immediate transformation in Yor's face as soon as Olka/Shaty says she didn't order room service

I don't have much to say but I am really entranced by the assassin vs. assassin + informant goings on!!

"I may not look it, but I'm a married woman, so I'll have to decline." Absolutely loving Yor quietly and efficiently beating these hitmen unconscious as she passes through the cruise ship

"Which is it?! Would normal parents buy their child something in this situation or not?!" Loid is incapable of making a decision without thinking about how it looks in relation to him being a spy. Anxiety king

[In Anya's mind] "Yor! You're an assasin who hates frogs? Let's get a divorce. The Forgers are done." Like father, like anxiety-ridden daughter

"I am a normal father. A good father," said Loid, which is frankly not usually something a good or normal father would say

"Papa, you're not excited at all." Loid defeated by one (1) six-year-old's piercingly accurate psychoanalysis

Loid is facing a true Psychological Battle: The Fitting Room

Anya Ultimate Wingman Award for convincing everyone her mum's battle is actually a circus act

Awwww, Zeb, Fake Husband to Olka, likes her. I hope this is a healthy experience in Yor seeing other fake couples work it out, but I do also think Zeb could mega-die

"As long we people continue to be people, conflict will never end." Alright, Director Doomsday, calm down

"What am I? What am I doing this for?" [B Eilish voice] What was I made foooooor?

"Does she hate me? Or is she just going through a rebellious phase?" Loid whenever one of the Forger girls looks upset: THIS MUST BE MY FAULT SOMEHOW

A hasty and confident NO to Assassin Sniff's whole vibes

We interrupt this program to think about how cute Loid and Anya are!! I love Loid entertaining Anya and also supporting her while he thinks she's missing Yor

"Nice, Mr. Husband!" Oh good, we love a bulletproof vest for Zeb!

Truly a wild juxtaposition of Forger Family Fireworks Night:

"This might be a bit late to ask, but would you consider just peacefully going home?" I love you, Compassionate Combat

I'm having a hard time believing all this will happen without Loid eventually noticing; the fireworks are long gone. I actually do hope Loid crashes her battle, Director Doomsday is out cold

"I'm doing this to support my family.... wait. I guess I am also doing this for money. But... no, I make enough to survive now. I'm hunting down bad guys for my country! For my country? Have I always been so righteous? What am I doing this for?" Poor Yor, this is like the worst possible time for an existential crisis

YOR AND LOID BOTH BEING MOTIVATED BY THEIR DESIRE FOR OTHERS TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘

[In Yor's flashback] "Be it for someone else, or for a specific reason, having to endure a merciless job... That's something to be very proud of." I'm sure Loid will acknowledge me. He'll forgive me. I like to think so too, Yor!!

Never mind to Loid helping Yor out, he is busy disarming a bomb threatening to sink them. This truly is the Titanic LMAO

LGLHGLGJHGLJHG Anya accidentally tripping the assassins so they shoot each other. Like mother, like daughter 💖

"You'll be able to enjoy the symphony of agonized screams and roars coming through the wiretaps on this ship." I can't wait for Loid to sink this guy with his own clock-bomb

Update from 30 seconds later: See? Self-owned and sunk

Awwwww Yor really does deserve the baby hug after the day she's had:

"I pray that, someday, you and your family will be able to find true peace." OLKAAAA

"I know it was an emergency, but I ended up casting my family aside again." Loid and Yor having the same crisis about whether to prioritize their family or their jobs 🥺🥺🥺

Loid's blush at Yor catching him skipping as he continues to skip over in her direction. Hee hee

"I hope peaceful days like this will continue forever." ME TOO, YOR!

Get you a mum who would secretly beat up sharks for you ❤️‍🩹

Setting aside how fun snorkeling is, absolutely terrible idea to go into the ocean with an open wound OMG

Loid carrying his whole family is the cutest thing I've ever seen, 10 bajilion/10zo; perfect:

[Internally] "You did a great job." Loid is in loooooove

"I can never tell if he's actually clever, or clumsy." Me either, Handler

Anya learning about the vacation disparity of rich kids LMAO

"If youre going to create a persona for yourself, you need to be strategic and commit." Not Loid turning this lie lecture into a spy lecture in his mind

"Lying is too much work, so I'll try not to do it anymore." Anya's entire set of adult role models do nothing but lie all the time, she really has no frame of reference for honesty

I do a little bit hate the Becky fantasizing about Loid thing, I have been Cardcaptor Sakura'd too much in life

NOT ANYA SELLING OUT HER MUM FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF BECKY BEING HER RICH SIX-YEAR-OLD STEPMUM OH MY GOD

I feel like they take a lot of liberties in translating "Loid-sama" as "my precious Loid" but hey, he is precious

"Yor's going to get the wrong idea, somehow." Loid has finally registered that this child is obsessed with him and he is only concerned for wife not thinking he's a freak. A good husband above all else

"I really don't understand the children of rich people." Me either, Loid

I need you to see Loid's face as Becky declares that this is his expression of love for Yor:

"Your heart is as vast as the sky, and you're stronger than the earth itself. You're the perfect lady." Correct, Becky! Yor is amazing

"I had some extra souvenirs left after handing them out to everyone else. Do you want them?" LMAO @ the implication being lost on Fiona that he doesn't even think of her enough to warrant her own souvenir

I will say, I really do resonate with the theme of the ep being Loid is Hot and Amazing to Everyone But No One Will Ever Measure Up to Yor in His Eyes

"Maybe you're too nice, and biting and barking don't really suit you." Everyone in the Forger family is too nice for their job, including Bond Forger, Precognitive Puppy

Awwww Bond trying to help out all the humans with his visions

LNKFHKFHKJFH Loid really just got reprimanded by his dog

"And he went into save [Daisy the puppy]? What an impressive dog!" I love the Spy Dad-Psychic Puppy tag-team ❤️

[Internally] "I am a cool-headed spy. I cannot let my emotions show." Loid remains deadpan through SO many things but his dog looking a little funny while wet is his limit. What a man!

"Don't push yourself too hard. There's someone waiting back home who would be sad if you died." 1) V sweet, dad first, hero second. And 2) This is the second time Loid has directly spoken to his life situation with a simultaneous thinly-veined dog metaphor

WAHHHHHHH Loid and Bond's heroics being acknowledged by Anya giving them little paper Stellas:

Yor immediately joining in and congratulating them for their hard work on their walk!!! I LOVE ONE (1) SPY X FAMILY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S A NICE SHOW

#ayesha talks anime #spy x family #liveblogging #sxf series #spy x family series #ayesha liveblogs spy x family #long post #guns tw #moqueueton #been a while since i've been able to watch 2 seasons of a show in succession!! very fun to continue

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

putting the google translate version of the Sa and Vita convo here bc the official translation is a bit confusing

Moriarty: Haha, hahahaha! Moriarty: What a great show! Moriarty: How does it feel to lose all your efforts? Got bitten by your own dog! Moriarty: Hey, you don't have a talent for comedy, do you? Sa: ... Moriarty: That last blow from the sky looked really painful! Didn't anyone ever tell you not to mess with the wrong people? Moriarty: Haha, I feel really good! I haven’t watched such an interesting show for a long time. Moriarty: It is countless times more exciting than the version I originally conceived! Sa: ... Moriarty: Oh? You're just going to roll up your tail and run away? Moriarty: Well, given the nature of your “parasitic plant”, Moriarty: if you curl up your roots and hide in the depths of the Sea of Quanta for a few tens of thousands of years, you'll be able to make a comeback sooner or later. Moriarty: Only a human being would let his own damn pride get in the way and miss a chance to make a comeback... Moriarty: ...Hmm? Vita: I'm sorry to interrupt your pleasant conversation. Vita: How do you do, our Creator God? Vita: Oh, I forgot. We just saw each other. Sa: ... Vita: What, are you surprised to see me here? Vita: That unconvincing fake death performance earlier shouldn't be able to deceive your all-knowing and omnipotent "eyes", right? Vita: Or is that eye, as I suspected, not protecting against the presence of the “Ark”? Sa: ... Sa: ...Authority. Moriarty: Oh! So you can talk. Vita: That's right. Like the fly buzzing around you, I used the disguise of an Ark administrator to get past your guards and find you. Moriarty: You're all fighting amongst yourselves, but still don't forget to slander me? What a touching mother-daughter bond. Vita: If you had been able to put away a little bit of your arrogance and pay the minimum attention to this fly, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to come here in person—— Vita: ...to receive all your authority.

Sa: ... Moriarty: Haha, that's an unexpected twist! I didn't realize there was a hidden secret at the end of the show! Moriarty: It’s worth my while that I took the big gamble to come here so that I can enjoy this masterpiece in the upper class seats. Vita: Sigh... You pushy guy, do you really know what you are talking about? Vita: Most of your data has been shattered by that pillar of light, and the remnants left here will soon disperse on their own. Paying so much just to see a show? Moriarty: Of course, Miss Agent. I've never been so calm, so satisfied. What better feeling is there than to witness the end of a revenge drama? Moriarty: I'd give anything for fun... even if it didn't do me any good. Vita: ...Your comment reminds me of someone. Vita: Coincidentally, when I was "hitchhiking" with Fu Hua, I happened to catch a glimpse of a memory related to him and the self-satisfying ending. Vita: He was a world leader, but he only gambled with everyone's life; and in the end, he exchanged his own demise for a wishful "self-revenge". ..... Vita: Do you think this is called "different paths leading to the same destination", backup of "Otto Apocalypse"? Moriarty: Sincere thanks to you, Miss Agent, for bringing me useless information. I'd say you and “Sa” are cut from the same cloth. Vita: I have surpassed her.. The fact that I am here is the best proof, isn't it? I'll never make the same mistake as She did, and I'll go after true freedom. Sa: Freedom… is this what you really want? Or is it just because… you ask for it but don’t get it? Sa: The so-called “freedom” and “nothingness” are synonymous words. Vita: What about you? You have swollen so much that you can hardly move, have you really gained any “reality”? Sa: …Purusha, is me. Moriarty: Hahaha, is that why you sank into the “sea” in the first place? Moriarty: You have all-knowing and all-powerful eyes, but you can't even see yourself clearly. Haha! Our great Creator God is actually a blind god! Sa: Gods are blind in sight... Sa: Mortals are blind in the heart. Vita: Oh, you are quite confident when you say that—— Vita: Why don't you use these against the enemy with the “Eighth Sense”? Vita: He's your arch-enemy, isn't he? Sa: Mortals aren’t enemies. Sa: Just a pebble in the road. Vita: ... Vita: Well, congratulations. After all, your feet, it seems, are bleeding on these pebbles? Sa: ...That has nothing to do with them. Vita: But it’s about me. Sa: … Sa: [Agent], you are not an ordinary person. You have exceeded the limits of [expansion]. Moriarty: Oh, How to say it, how to say it? It turns out you will also become a rotten machine like her in the future? Moriarty: That’s a really rotten future, hahahaha! Sa: …the only freedom of god is also the only nothingness of mortals. Sa: The world is my representation, and the world is my will. Sa: The so-called “Godhood”... God was born because of me, and I died because of God. Vita: I think this sentence should be said the other way around. Vita: [I live because of God, and God dies because of me.] Vita: Do you suddenly feel better? Moriarty: What a pity! My God did not die because of me! Moriarty: Oh, no, wait. My “God” is already you all? Moriarty: A good death, a wonderful death! It’s a pity I can’t stick a cross in you all! Sa: …getting carried away. Ignorance is indeed the greatest sin of mortals. Sa: No mortal has ever killed a god. Sa: Only [Gods] can.

Sa: [Agent]... Sa: One day, you will also find your own executioner. Moriarty: Oh, oh! It seems that compared to ordinary people like us, gods like you are better at bringing disaster to yourself? Moriarty: Okay, okay, that just means that a mediocre person is just a mediocre person after all! Moriarty: Look at me… take a good look at your [exhibit]... Moriarty: Is there anything more ironic to you two than me being able to sit on this special seat? Vita: There’s no need for a king to kill his own court jester, right? Vita: Anyone can feel like the other person is an idiot on the inside… Do you think that’s important? Sa: There are no [idiots] here. Sa: The three wills that exist here have lost their own value from the beginning. Sa: They try to compensate, they try to ignore. They will only continue to expand… until they become ugly remains. Vita: Thank you for your advice, [Sa]. But what I am and what I want will all be decided by myself. Vita: I will do better than you, of course. It’s a pity that you can never imagine it if you are trapped in the [Sea]. Sa: … Sa: That’s really worth looking forward to. Vita: Yes, worth looking forward to. Vita: Us gods looking forward to our deaths is also very romantic, isn't it?  Vita: ...That's the only emotion you have left. Moriarty: Oh? It seems that this is the end? Moriarty: I have to say that as my second ending, there is nothing more satisfying than this. Moriarty: Although you are my enemy, you are the initiator who interrupted my grand finale and brought great shame to me... Moriarty: I still pay you the highest respect, Miss "Vita". Moriarty: The way we exist is somewhat similar - it's like fate has played a nasty trick and we spend our lives trying to get out of this shadow. Moriarty: We are not the real body, but we have made achievements far beyond the real body. This is the proof of our existence in the world and our unique mark. Moriarty: If we hadn't met in this way, we would definitely have become very good friends... or destined rivals. Vita: …maybe. You are truly my most troublesome exhibit, "Moriarty." Moriarty: Ha! I would take that as the highest compliment. Vita: Indeed. So… Vita: Farewell, [nothingness]. Vita: I will accept those [Eyes of Bodhi]. [Who are you digging a grave for? Is it for a Phosphorus person?] [It's not for a Phosphorus person, miss.] [So, is it for the Purusha person?] [Not for a Purusha person either.] [Not a person of Phosphorus nor a person of Purusha - then who is buried here?] [Miss, she was originally a Purusha person, but she was already gone.] Vita: The so-called [Gods]... Vita: ...are truly [interesting].

#honkai impact #hi3 #vita #sa #hi3 lore #long post #sorry. it wouldn't save with the readmore

[chocolaichigoichie]

I am longing for you.

Re-reading all the posts I've posted below, clearly tells how I have progressed as a human, as a soul. I definetely learnt, a lot.

It might sound cringe, but love is indeed something indescribable. It is beyond words. Love helps me learn, experience, and evolve. I acknowledge my flaws and sins which made me grow into me today.

Newest version of me is all about spirituality, the thing I never have drawn before, ever. Crazy how life can turn its direction.

But, looking back the line, it is not some random set of events. The feelings have been always there: to help people, to touch their hearts (whatever it meant back then). It is all to make the mature me today, to support me fulfilling the pre-birth purpose in this lifetime: Tarot Reader.

I thought I would be fit to work as a diplomat or delegates in humanitarian agencies (also in International scale, just because I love being indulged in diversity). Turns out, I still can bring off my desire to stay in touch with those values. Not as the dream I used to think, but as the whole another level of mission.

I love this. I love doing my job, events I got questioned a lot. Haha. I know this is far from conventional. But I feel like home. Just like when I meet you, my divine masculine. <3

Life doesn't stop here when I finally found my purpose. It starts its hardest cycle: in union with you.

Being in this line makes me realize how hard the path is. They said it is the mission I particularly picked myself before I was actually born. Wth did I think lololol. It is indeed a beautiful journey, yet, so, so, so painful. Not gonna lie, I cried more often than I usually did (when I got heartbroken). This is really, indeed, excruciating.

I somehow feel that, this leads to a wiser me, with a lot of patience, to face a greater challenge ahead.

This Twinflame journey is making me beyond crazy. Hahahaha The longing feeling is indefinable. It is non-stop flowing from my heart chakra. Even now, when I am thinking about you. It is a 24/7 connection. "I wonder when," is the question that always bugging me. Am I not patient enough? What else I have to learn? What should I do? I know I have to be patient, surrender, and having faith to God, completely. The 30th birthday I had yesterday just hit another sadness button in my heart. I am so lonely yet not. Because I know you are connected with me.

Pamulang. 3/12/2023. 21:32

#twin flame #love #you

[tophat-cy]

It's that time of the year again, huh?

Hello everyone! Here is TopHat_Cy with probably the last Tumblr post of this year. Since 2023 is coming to a close, I'll just put down a little summary of the experiences I had this year. Let's get started ^v^ ✨💗!

⚠️CW/TW since there may possibly be some ranting and/or venting at some points⚠️

To be honest here, 2023 was pretty rough, and I'm not talking about that I had the baccalaureate in June, oh no. I was honestly waiting for that time so I can just do myself after that, right after I supported 4 years in that hellpit people called it high-school (or pedagogic college...whatever 🙄), just to get like over 3 months later on a worse hellpit called college, where all my personal issues has awakened...and felt horrible and lonelier like I've never been.

Despite being in overall horrible, high-school was great because mostly because I wasn't feeling the loneliness and self misery I feel now. Now that I'm at college I get almost hit daily by the fact that 1) I'm lonely and I'll always remain lonely (since who tf wants a little antisocial freak who literally draws all day lmao??) 2) I'm worthless, mostly because my French skills (at least) suck, and a good amount of my marks suck as well in comparison with other students (and honestly I wouldn't be bothered that much about this fact if it wasn't for my mom who haves the great habit to remind me by times to make sure I take big marks only to get the scholarship, hahahaha shut up bitch), which guess what, it makes me feel ✨horrible✨, and 3) Your life is a pure lie. This is sooooooooooo great isn't it :D ??!

*sigh*

I realized within my current college experience that I'm lonely not only in society, but with my own mom. I realized I'm even more of a worst daughter than I ever thought...I realized that I'm getting more horrible as the time goes by, or at least this is how I feel. I feel like losing myself slowly, becoming into nothing but a setinent shell of the former self. With those realizations, I'm getting hit in the face once again by the most saddest fact that I've encountered so far in my life but I always tend to forget it to make myself feel better (but you know how life is...it needs to offer you some lemons in the eyes 👁️👁️)...

...the fact that my life is nothing but a pure LIE.

But hey! Can we look into the bright side of what this year offered for some hot minutes?? It's not all black and misery! I had part of wonderful and fun times with my boyfriend (we did Whiteboards and rambled about our silly stuff like two neurodivergents that we are 😁✨), I had part of several fanart moments from people, I had Art Fight (yeaaaaah, our old pal Art Fight, which kinda started to become a pain in the ass every year when I have to bring my REFs up to date for this event...mmmmmmm 😊/pure af hot sarcasm, but honestly here, do I really care :D ???), I even joined my first Original Characters Tournament, Ressurection, in which I met wonderful people which appreciate my skills and also willing to help and support. And most importantly, I had YOU! All of you! If it wasn't for you guys, I definitely wouldn't been here, sharing this thoughts with YOU. And I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, once again ❤️!

As a mini conclusion to all of this speech, I'll admit that this year was still decent so far, with all it's ups and downs, along with the fact that I'm returning myself at being genderfluid (hence the Pic at the very beginning of the post lmao :')) )

The latest events from this year at least made me think that being feminine related makes me feel worthless about myself, and I don't want to feel like that anymore. I want to be strong at its full and I want to feel and be free with who I am. I'm not the most social person, yes. I'm far off from being a great daughter, yes of course, and I'm definitely far from being the best person out alive, or at least a great one. But at least I want to do something about it, so I can have the right to say that I tried my best for real.

So, that's it. I'm genderfluid. I go by he/they/cee from now on (although cee/ceer pronouns are most likely optional, like if you want to use them, go ahead, although I'll still be ok if you used the he/they ones, just don't refer to me with she/her or any fem aligned pronouns).

🌙⭐Plans for 2024⭐🌙

(aka my favorite part from this post so far 🤓)

Just like everyone else, I have prepared some future plans for the next year and which I'd like to share with you. Here they are!

I want to make EITHER an OCT or a world-building RP server somewhere around February-March or later (I would've done it sooner, but I have to prepare for the exam session in January). The OCT thing may take a while though since I want it to be good, so this plan might get extended for 2025 as well. As for the world-building RP thing, with some effort, it could be done next year.

Returning on developing some miscellaneous projects - those being Insanity AU and a somewhat game-like concept that my boyfriend made plans about it in this year and which I'd like to develop on. Insanity AU is a thing that I've made with dustyisegg back in 2022 but discontinued it for 9 months due to [DATA EXPUNGED] and resumed it's development, by remaking the characters and their plot entirely. (Dusty if you see this tell me if you still want to work on this, yeah yeah I'm a huge procrastinator lawl 👾✨)

JToH, JToH, JToH projects - my dear and beloved JToH...(I've been in this Fandom for almost 3 years...more than I've been in the Doll Eye one, can you believe that?). Most of those projects will consist on simply designing new towerhumans, respectively redesigning the old ones. Along with that I have a comic project which I will start making it's script soon enough, other side projects that I have in my mind...and JToHVerse, which I don't know when it's that going to be started (earliest date will apparently be around 2025, but let's see how the comic project goes 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Putting some content in Toyhouse - a thing that I should worry about eventually ;v;

GET YOUR ARTFIGHT SPIRIT BACK PSYCHE 😩!!!

The last but not the least...To start developing at least one of my original storylines FOR FUCK'S SAKE 😂😂😂!!!!!! I've been waiting for this for years already hajshshdvbssb :')) I'm not sure which of them is going to come out tho. Definitely not PK though, that one will most likely get an extend to next year.

So...I guess that's it??

I'm going to assure you with two things before I finish. First of them is that, again I think, I'm fine. I'm not upset or anything. I had hard times like everyone else (maybe) this year and I had to left it out somehow. But in rest everything is alright, so don't worry about me. I will keep existing for you and for what I love ^v^.

The second thing that I will say is about this blog. Starting with January 1st, I do not allow anyone below the age of 15 to interact. I have an age now, and at this point I want to entertain people, not to babysit them. So don't get upset if you possibly get blocked, that would be one of the reasons (I hope to remember to unblock you after you get the age hhgjgjfjf 😅)

That's it guys! If you read til here, thank you very much for the attention and time spent on reading this. Hope everyone haves a wonderful 2024 and nice days! See ya around 💗💗💗!

#blog #blog post #2023 summary #damn this shit is looooooooooooooong #haha 😅 #cw : ranting #cw : vent #tumblr post #2023

[dendenmazing]

CONT;NUE 😎

Life's a bitch but so am I. The life that I have right now is not perfect and there's no such thing as perfect life. I admit it. After Mama left me in a young adult age. This is all new to me. His adulting shits hahahaha. It's really hard. Especially to me, who's a Mama's Girl since day one. Like c'mon my mom is also my dad growing up. She's my everything. So when I lost her, I felt like I lost everything. The life I had during my childhood is not really perfect too but I am happy. I'm good. Just a happy lil' thang kid hahahahaha. Growing up, I learned that Life really isn't easy at all. But I know I can handle it and most of all, I know I can always handle myself no matter how shit life gets. But Life really is beautiful and God is good, all the time. There just times that, I can't feel that at all and that's okay. I feel a lot of things and that's okay because that makes me, me. That makes me a human being. Like my Mom told me last year when my heart got broken by my First Love or a boy? Hahahahahahaa I cried in front of her through video call and she told me that, In Life, sometimes It's really needed and It's really good to get hurt too, to feel the pain. That's when we'll feel more alive and she's never wrong. I learned how to love myself, I learned how to love my Life, I learned how to love the pain, I learned how to love my own healing season, I learned how to love my own Solitude, I learned how to value my feelings, I got to know my own worth, I learned how to be wise with my time, energy, and attention because not everything deserves mine, and that I learned how to protect my peace of mind much better this time, I learned how to choose my battles because not every battle isn't mine to fight. I'm not holding all the problems here in the world. And of course, after all the shits I've been through, I'm still in my healing season. I know I'm getting better because I'm always trying to be. For myself. I still got a life and I can't let my Mama down. I can't let myself down. There are just times that, I was so mad because Mama left me with this kind of life, and then I'll be mad at everything again, compare myself and my life to others again, questioning God and also going to be mad at him, and then there I was, not being grateful for the life I have right now and that's the most shittiest attitude of mine I don't really like. But I value my own feelings. I let myself feel whatever the hell I am feeling in the moment. I am as free as the ocean. I always want to be honest to myself. And there just days that, Life is really testing me. Hurting me again with the same shit that's really hurting me. Broken promises, plans in life that come to nothing, destruction of dreams, full of talkshit people, and a bunch of bullshits. I am so sick of it. Life be like, "Be ready for this, let's plan for this, manifest it, claim it already, we're getting there, this is it!!" and then in the end, It's all bullshit. Nothing happens. It was like it's joke time. It's always a joke time when It comes to me. There's always struggle, problems and shits, complications, and the need to fight and give lits of efforts just to get what I want and then in the end, after giving everything, still, not a thing happens. None of it. That's what I am so mad about. Idk why js that when It come to me, I always need to go through shit but at the end I will get nothing. Like, c'mon bitch hahahahaha. It's just so tiring, you know. It really is. But then again, I always know that, I can handle myself. I can always handle myself no matter what Life will throw at me. Life is tough but so am I. I have this life right now and I am so grateful for it. I am so grateful because I have one. It may still not be my dream life but I can make this a better place for myself. I'm not going to say that, I don't like the life that I have right now, because I love the life that I have right now.

[marshmallowprotection]

Small angry rant/ vent + request

I've been living in a world that just isn't made for me. Everything people expect of me to do or be takes extra energy to do, and when I'm not doing it fast enough or good enough, they act like I'm not even doing it

And to top it all off my friend who said he'd be there for me and help me through a hard time Im going through has abandoned me for someone else, leaving the state so the days I needed them would just be skipped and they would be right back after I needed them

I want to be able to have Unknown there to understand stand my pain, the pain of being abandoned in a world that doesn't care about people like me

Who can understand what it feels like to be abandoned better than Unknown?

He knows that well. It's like the back of his hand. He just expects people to run away at this point. Why wouldn't he? That's why he doesn't bother getting close to anyone. What's the point when everybody's just going to abandon you at some point anyway? His goal in life is to get his revenge on those who abandoned him when he needed them the most. It was their choice to leave when they could've done something. So, they deserve to face punishment for their choices. That's how he feels and how he will always feel.

Why shouldn't he be angry that they abandoned him in his time of need? So, when you tell him how you're feeling, it makes sense that he understands right off the bat. In fact, he would laugh almost in amusement. The outside world is filled with liars and traitors, and it's such a shame you had to learn that the hard way, isn't it? Wouldn't it be so much easier if you had just agreed to come with him from the start? It could have saved you the trouble. That life isn't meant for someone who could make much more of themselves with him. If you want to follow in his footsteps and take care of things the way that they do in paradise, well, he's not going to say no. It is more convenient to him to have someone to work with him. He is a lone wolf, but he can make use of you yet.

Imagine that glint in his smoldering green eyes as his hands rest against your shoulders. His grip firm and tight. He is too overwhelming and daunting all at once, but how can you turn away from him when every part of his being commands your attention? It is hard to look away from someone who has you like the cat who caught the canary. His chuckle is low and amused with your response. You can have tears in your eyes and pain in your heart but his eyes don't ever waver.

"What a miserable little thing you are. You've been left behind like a cat in the rain that nobody wanted to adopt. What a shame, really. Hahahaha... The outside world will never appreciate someone like you. You'll be chewed up and spit out more times than you can count. You can't count on anybody in this world but yourself. You're a joke if you think you can. Why don't we make something useful out of this misery you're feeling? Why don't you join me and let me show you how you can get back at everything that's ever hurt and left you to rot? I can show you one heck of a hell. I'll show you what it feels like to get revenge. The bliss that comes from destroying someone... The sweet satisfaction of knowing that they will never be at peace ever again. You'll be dancing on their graves in no time. Why don't you let go of your good person act and let loose? We both know you're itching to make them all pay. Let's make them pay."

#tw vent #mod kait #ask #simplearcticfoxes #drabble #tw self hatred

[covermeinclouds]

i got to speak to an old friend of mine from high school the other day.

back story on our friendship and how we were in high school real quick:

in high school, i was always against the rules of academia. hahahaha. in other words "pasaway" "makulit" "laging pinapalipat ng pwesto kasi maingay." yeah, okay, that was me. picture alex russo from wizards of waverly place. though, i was friends with everyone. i was friends with my whole batch, a lot of people from other sections and other grades. i was the "musician," the "artist," just someone you'd know didn't care about school. HAHAHAHA

this friend of mine was almost the opposite. yes, okay, maingay din siya sa school. had a lot of friends, too. was more serious about school though. he was an honor roll student and truly had something going for him academically.

our school was pretty small so we were all friends with each other. though, this friend of mine, he was one i trusted some of my secrets with. things i was going through at home and the like. he gave off a really approachable and understanding vibe. back in the day, it was rare for me to open up my wounds and be vulnerable. i moved pretty quickly and was always up and about if i wasn't asleep in class. but i do remember all our conversations.

the context of his messages:

i always thought everyone in class thought i was just that. pasaway, rebelde, lowlife, and the like. it didn't matter. i knew what i was. it didn't matter what others thought of me. i was truly having the time of my life.

but to receive this from someone in the honor roll in my high school

"alam kong you'll do good "outside." you cared less (if not not at all) about what others thought of you, you did what your heart told you to. You were WAY AHEAD of our time sa high school"

it's insane to me. to be told this. that, at least one person knew what i was actually about. that i wasn't just some label a teacher plastered on me. i wasn't just that student. he acknowledged that our worlds were different and recognized that my talents were better off outside of school.

that's a big deal to me because i never got any recognition like that growing up. i was always told i was going nowhere, really. (most were from teachers and my mom). but to receive it from someone who knew me at that age and at that time of my life and to say these things and still think i am the same, it's such an amazing feeling.

it felt like a birthday gift from the universe to get such a message. it had me checking on myself and realizing "oh holy shit. im a fucking boss, actually." i get too lost in the pain of my life sometimes that i forget how i've ALWAYS been a survivor. i've ALWAYS been best friends with myself.

#pers

[thatwas-objectionable]

lmao made it in the door, changed into pyjamas, laid down on my bed and just immediately started sobbing. i have been such a fucking fool for this guy for a YEAR. i have known deep down all along he never fucking loved me back and never would but i held on because this fucker never gave me a solid no. gave me little seeds of hope constantly. treated me like a fucking girlfriend in every way except actually calling me his girlfriend. i know i'm a fucking idiot. i know. i knew all along this was what would happen but i fucking stayed because i loved him more than ive ever loved anyone and i just couldn't let go of the hope that one day he'd feel the fucking same. and today i was just like. "dude you need to just like. be fucken real with me." obviously i didn't literally say that but like. yknow lol. but i started the real conversation bc I'm sick of being in so much pain all the time just to keep this fucking guy in my life. because yknow, I fucking LOVE him. and yeah. After a year. A YEAR of stringing me along this fucker finally just admits that he doesn't have feelings, never will, and never wanted a relationship. i was like. Oh. Okay 🙃 why'd u not like. Tell me that before now!! Haha!! and he goes "because i like being around you and having you in my life >insert a bunch of fucking compliments about my personality and our relationship< but idk i just can't seem to feel anything deeper" hahahaha okay. Okay. Like I would literally do anything for you, give you anything. I'd give u LITERALLY ANYTHING. i've given up so much for you. But okay. And to be fucking clear i'm not mad he doesn't love me back. u can't force someone to love u no matter how fucking badly u want it. but a year. A FUCKING YEAR?!?!?!?! and yes i know i'm stupid okay i fucking know. but he kept giving me so much hope. would never give me a solid no until today, after a fucking YEAR, bc i wouldn't fking let him bullshit me anymore. Holy fuck lmfao. anyways I kept my cool until I left his house and started crying on the fucking bus home a little but stayed pretty calm. and now i'm home i'm just fucking sobbing. i have never ever felt heartbreak like this dude i feel like i'm going to fucking die lol. anyways i'm seeing him in a couple days basically to grab all my shit and tell him that i never want to see his stupid fucking face again in my life. and I refuse to fucken cry in front of this asshole. i will not give him that. i've already given him e-fucking-nough. So anyways im probably gonna be uhhhhhh a lil sad on here foe a while LOLLL. i literally never want to see his face or hear his fucking name ever again. i just want this pain to end. i know it will eventually but holy fuck i can already tell i'm in for a tough ride w this one. L m f a o.

#i know i was dumb to hold hope and stay so long but like. i didnt fucking deserve this. i didnt.

[chawarin-panich]

Lmao I am definitely looking forward to this multi-post dissertation 😂

Akame was my first rps/otp and they really did me a solid because no other breakup will phase me after that 💔

Also, to the "bully" in the replies (😂) I've been a leafs fan for more than half my life and went through the KAT-TUN/Akame breakup, I am used to depression and pain and misery. At least we have Auston and Mitch being soulmates on and off the ice 😂

No comment on the Marchand love... 🤮

(I am not going to bring up the fact that I used to read Horton/Lucic fic jfc I'm old 😂)

funny you called it a dissertation because i wrote one recently and let me tell you its not that different. I have a graph tracking (qualitatively) the individual levels of unhinged horniness of Zee and New over time HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - be honest you thought the timeline would be the peak of my insanity didn't you??

i promise im a normal person im just....a data scientist, tracking levels of things over time and attributing association/correlation/causation is my job and I have taken a fair number of media analysis courses during uni purely out of self interest. I live for this shit 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@mr-iskender i would heed this anon. That Akame breakup was no joke. In my 13 years in fandom spaces ive never seen anything quite so mysterious or out of the blue. The uncertainty around this situation was so massive, the months and months of doomed hope that fans clung to was so impressive hahahaha

#nani answers

[juneviews]

#PAIN

#not me #not me the series #not me series #danyok #first kanaphan #fluke gawin #off jumpol #gun atthaphan #mond tanutchai #papang phromphiriya #thai drama #my gifs #bypiningbisexuals #HAHAHAHA I'VE NEVER BEEN IN MORE PAIN IN MY LIFE #over 1000 notes

[cc-writesfor2dcharacters]

a/n: hi! of course! but, for this i'll only do ran, because draken is only for emma, so sorry y/n hahahaha (I'll drop a draken and emma story soon) anyway, i love a childhood friend to lovers trope so this one's a good idea! i hope you enjoy this one <3

REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN! IF YOU WISH TO LEAVE A REQUEST, MAKE SURE TO READ MY PINNED POST FIRST, THANK YOU! <3

𝕽𝖆𝖓 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖎 𝖝 𝕱❗𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

(Childhood friends to lovers)

AS KIDS

You met in the park when he saw you crying while you were on the swing. When he approached you, he saw a wound on your knee and it was bleeding. He's calm even as a child and tried helping you out by cleaning your wound using the towel he brought.

He found out that you just moved in and tried to make you feel as welcome as possible. And, you immediately felt comfortable in his presence.

No other kids could easily warm you up but him. He will always play with you in the park. And, he's actually open to playing dolls with you just so he could make you happy.

The two of you go to the same school, so it's a given that you two would enjoy the "after school hang out" together. Either you go straight into the park and play with other kids. But, as soon as one of you got a PlayStation, you already preferred staying in and playing video games with him.

If you know Rika Orimoto and Yuuta Okkotsu's backstory something similar happened between you and Ran. But, if you don't know, let me explain.

Basically, as time passes by, you're developing a silly, little crush for your friend. And, on his birthday, you gave him a ring as a promise that you two will get married in the future. Of course, as always, Ran wants to make you happy and told you that he will really marry you in the future.

Slowly but surely, he's starting to like you more than as a friend. Although the feeling confuses him because he's still young, he continues to explore and have fun with you.

AS TEENAGERS

The two of you kind of separated as you enter your teenage years. With different hobbies and likes, you were forced to part ways for a while.

After knowing that he became a brutal person alongside his brother, you knew you had to stop him. After all, you were his kryptonite, from back then until now.

With that, the spark that was once lost ignited again. As you both remember how much fun you have when you're together. And, his lost feelings for you came back since he finally understood what it means to love...

But, you're literally every guy's dream girl. And, it pains Ran so much that other guys are trying to pursue you. It angers him to the point where he wants to beat those guys up.

He realizes that he can't let you go, He can never give you up. You are what keeps him going every single day even if you don't communicate that often. Something in him stirs up when another guy will make you smile. Because he knows you look the most beautiful when the reason behind your smile is him.

One night he just couldn't hide it anymore. He was knocking on your door at 11 in the evening, as he was all beaten up. From the looks of it, you knew he got into a gang fight again.

You couldn't bear seeing him like this. And, before he could admit his feelings, you confessed while you were cleaning up his busted brow bone. He then smiled even if he struggled to do so. Even with difficulties, he would tell you, "I've loved you for so long, Y/N. And, I've always kept our promise when we were kids. You're the only girl I want to be with and I want to marry." You smiled from ear to ear as he tells you his feelings. Ran is never vocal, and he rather finds it hard to voice out what he feels. But, for you, he will conquer his fears.

From that day, it was the beginning of a life-long journey with him. Even if you've been together ever since you were kids. But, it feels relieving for the both of you to finally and officially have each other.

AS MARRIED ADULTS

As you'd expect, your wedding was absolutely phenomenal. It was like out of a Disney movie. He wanted to make you feel like the queen you are for him. And, he knows you deserve more than the best this world has to offer. The least he could do is give you the best wedding anyone could imagine. But, for the two of you, what really mattered is for you to finally tie the knots and call each other "husband" and "wife".

His wedding vow went something like this:

To wake up with you every single morning is already a blessing enough. I never even imagined I would see you again. But, here I am, standing in front of you as we take our vows. I'm very content with the life I have now with you. More so, I'm even happier that I get to have a chance to love you forever, finally. To show how much love I hold for you. I'm still in awe every time I lay my eyes on you— Y/N, you're so beautiful inside and out. That nothing in this world could compare to that. Because from all the time I look at you, I always feel this sanity within me. As if the world has no flaw whatsoever. I adore every silly thing you do. You are my favorite reason for staying alive. I'm beyond happy and thankful that I get to spend a lifetime with you. In whatever challenge life may bring us, I know we could conquer it as long as we’re together. You showed me that love can exist even in the ugliest hearts of people. So, I give you my heart, and from this day forward, I am asking you to be officially mine.

He may or may not have cried when he spoke of his vow.

You didn't have kids right away, since he still wanted to give you the world. He didn't oppose the idea of having children either. It's just what he wants is to have his full attention on you, even if you were together almost your whole life.

You love being called "Mrs. Haitani" by the people that work for him. They'll respect you as much as they respect their boss.

Speaking of that, no one would dare to lay a finger on you. Ran being successful and powerful meant that there are people envious of him. He wouldn't let anyone get to you. Because if they do, let's just hope they're ready to meet satan in hell. Your husband will give them a taste of their own medicine in case they do.

He is the best husband!! He will literally go the extra mile just for you. When you're feeling like he doesn't give you enough time? Oh boy, he'll take you out on a week-long vacation and will make you realize how much he truly loves you. For him, no matter what happens, his wife is his top priority

And, when you do have kids in the future? He will take a month-long break and help you out with your kid. You feel like he went on extra parenting class without you because he bathes your kid and feeds them like a pro.

You'll sometimes find him in the living room all cuddled up with your kid in his chest. And, when you wake him up, he'll just pull you beside them and have his most beloved people in his arms.

You'll always be thankful for whatever that thing you did to deserve Ran. He gave you everything you need and want just to make you happy. And, you feel his love for you even in the most mundane things. Now that he's a father, he's trying to become a better person each day. You can't help but think how lucky your child is to call him their father.

OVERALL, HE'S THE BEST! THERE I SAID IT <33

#ran haitani #haitani ran #ran haitani x you #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran x reader #tokyo revengers ran #haitani brothers #ran x reader #ran x y/n #ran x you #tokyo revengers headcanons #ran haitani fluff #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers

[maddenleftchat]

Hi. Saw that your requests are open so... give me some Gojo x reader. Angst to fluff. I love a good angst however I don't want to give myself a grief by only reading just a heavy angst so yeah make the end fluffy hahahaha.

Can I give you a prompt? "I can't believe you would do this to me after everything I've done for you?" Looking forward to what you'll cook for me. Thank you so much.

Sending tons of love ❤️

-🍫🍦

Of course 🍫🍦 anon!

Triggers: Swearing, Break up (?), Nothing really. Safe for all to read!

Enjoy.

Gojo

It has been a bumpy part of your relationship so far.

You had started to notice how Saturo was staring at other people.

How he no longer looked at you with the same loving eyes.

You noticed his physical actions twords you were getting less and less, except when it came to sleeping with you.

Though unless it involved sex, Gojo seemed distant.

Whenever you wanted cuddle and watch a movie, he would mumble an excuse.

It would take you a long time to convince him to finally sit down and watch a movie.

But when you finally did convince him, Saturo wouldn't even pay attention!

He was always on the damn phone.

Every single minute of every damn day.

~

Sure you understood that his work would keep him busy.

However he was never on his phone this much, even with work.

You soon reached your breaking point when he started ignoring you completely at the table to eat.

You had busted your back making this dinner for him, and all he did was take a picture of it and post it onto his social media.

It was the last straw.

In that moment you sat up and banged your hands onto the table with a great force.

You could care less about the stinging pain in your wrists.

Your brain was more focused on the rage that spilled out.

Your heart couldn't hold the overflow of emotions, so it started to leak out from your eyes in the form of tears.

Tears that burned with exhaustion and stress.

It leaked from your mouth in the form of words.

Words laced themselves with anger and sadness.

"What the fuck Saturo?!"

Your sudden movements and reactions scared and surprised your significant other.

He started at you wide eyed, the sunglasses that he wore dropped to the ground.

And all he could say was a meek, "Huh..?"

That's when you exploded.

"Really?! Huh?! Fucking 'Huh'?! You piece of shit!"

He didn't even have the time to reply.

"I can't believe you would do this to me after everything I've done for you?"

"What the hell are you even doing on that damn phone?! I've been keeping quiet this entire time and haven't said a single complaint about you! You've been so distant I'm tired of it! Get the hell out of my apartment!"

You yelled, your voice's strength never wavering.

~

It had been a few days now, and Saturo had tried calling you over and over again.

But you simply wouldn't answer.

He had grown tired of waiting, and decided to go get you back himself.

So that's what he did….at 5 o'clock in the morning…

He spammed your door bell until you answered, you weren't to please.

"What the hell do you want?" You said still half asleep.

He smirks, your so cute when your tired.

"I came to.. apologies.."

(Oof that was a hit on his ego)

You cross your arms and place your weight on your hip and raise a brow.

"I'm waiting."

Saturo stood in silence for a bit.

Wait-

You were really gonna make him do this?

Normally you say he doesn't have to apologize.

Your not serious.

He thought.

But the way you held yourself right now told him enough, you were not going to let this one pass.

Saturo sighed and got onto the floor. He bowed, touching his forehead to the dirty wooden ground.

His actions surprised and embarrassed you.

You were really hoping in that moment none of your neighbors would see this!

"I am truly sorry my love. I will, form now on, keep all of my attention on you. The love of my life." He said peeking his head up.

Your cheeks were a dark red from embarrassment.

"Yeah- whatever. Just get your ass in here be for any of our neighbors see!" You said in a hush tone grabbing his shoulder and pulling him into the apartment.

He turned and looked at you with a smirk.

"Our neighbors? So I'm forgiven?"

~

In short: He's a smart ass.

Word count: 678

_________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

#gojo x reader #yandere gojo satoru #yandere gojo #gojou satoru x you #gojou x reader #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujustu kaisen x reader #yandere jjk #jjk x reader

[suffering-with-fiery]

Rune translations and Bottom theories (I did my best!) (: It's long! I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY LONG!!!! You've been warned. (Potential TWs below the cut) yeah Hyoga doesn't have a good time here.

I should probably start calling Hyoga "Hyouga" instead since I'm pretty sure it's spelled with a 'U'... but I probably won't. Apologies.

Bottom English translation by Tackmyn Y! (I can't speak Japanese, again, apologies, though I was able to make my own version of Autophagy)

Potential TWs (I dont want to harm anyone by going on this rant): Autophagy (medical terms), nightmares, demons tormenting a guy, Hyoga being unhealthy in more ways than one, mentions of death/murder, self esteem issues, mentions of destructive behavior, manipulation, violence.

Yeah, my boy Hyoga ain't having a good time in this theory.

I feel the need to clarify that this is all speculation. So uh. Everything here is just what I've been thinking about since I hopped into this rabbit hole.

Sinfan (I'm not sure what order they go in, it's quite hard to tell):

["Death"

"I"

"Revive"

"Spirit"

"I"

"Something with shape"]

I'm not fully sure what "something with shape" means, but there's a possibility that Sinfan could be referring to Hyoga, (a doll/wax figure) or maybe that Sinfan needs something with a shape to be able to exist. Sinfan could need a vessel to stay on the mortal plain and go undetected while staying alive.

Sinfan needs a vessel. And with that thought, it launches into indecipherable theory crafting.

Hyoga summoned Sinfan when he was 12 years old. Thinking he found a vessel, he called upon Pabometh, another grey demon, to help torment Hyoga so the two could get their wish.

Hyoga, at the time, is young, dumb and susceptible to manipulation, meaning it could be easy for Sinfan to grasp the situation with an iron grip which follows Hyoga into adulthood.

"Revival" could also be referring to "Rebirth," symbolized by a butterfly. It could also mean that Sinfan/Pabo has the powers to revive people. Maybe as a last resort if they need it.

In Hiiragi Kirai's album trailer on Youtube, Hyoga shows up in a scene with 'D' and 'B' in calligraphy on each cheek. They could mean "Death" and "Birth" respectively.

Lines from Autophagy:

"I just wants a peaceful life." Likely means Hyoga wants the demons gone so he can live how he wants to. (Who wouldn't?)

"The voice inside my head? Huh... how odd." Also implies that the demons are still with him.

"My body pulses, memories from my past bringing pain." Means that in Autophagy, Hyoga remembers his past, but it hurts him.

""You can't avoid it in life, so it's best to just deal with it." You say, but you dont seem bothered." Is most likely Sinfan talking to Hyoga. It could also mean that Hyoga can't avoid the demons, so he should just deal with it.

"I can't stop now, so pretend nothing happened!" Could be Hyoga trying to ignore the demons, or maybe he did something he shouldn't have. (Always knew those were prison tattoos...)

"I want to wash my skull out! I want to say bye bye! But yet I didn't do it..." Could mean that the demons are still with him in Autophagy and likely still tormenting him.

"I won't stop, I can't look back." Might mean Hyoga is trying to move on, but with the demons still in his head, he can't, so the "Let me forget!" after the instrument solo might be him wishing that he never remembered in the first place and trying to get the demons to take them away again.

"Just stay away from me!" Could be Hyoga distancing himself from everyone he knows, or trying to get the demons to go away.

"Hello! HAHAHAHA Hello! HAHAHAHAHA!" Might be Hyoga as he slowly loses his remaining sanity due to constant tormenting and pressure from the demons.

"A A A A- 'Allo/Allow/Arrow" could all imply different things, so I'll give a short on all of them.

"'Allo!" Is just an abbreviation of "Hello."

"Arrow!" -According to a quick google search- is a common symbolism for peace and philosophical ideas, and used for protection and hunting. It could mean that Hyoga just wants peace and quiet, which is enforced by "I just want a peaceful life." in the beginning.

"Allow!" Could mean that the demons are trying even harder to bend him to their will and take him over as a vessel. They want Hyoga to allow them to posses him so they can do whatever they please.

Pabo only has 2 that I can see:

["Nightmare"

"Save (?)ime"]

It might be "time" but I couldn't make out the rune symbol there.

"Nightmare" hardens my thought that Bottom is just a massive nightmare set up by the demons to torment Hyoga, that the song is sung from the perspective of one of the demons (likely Pabo), and that Young Hyoga(tm) in the video is Pabometh playing the part of his repressed/forgotten memories.

This is all assuming the song is, infact, sung by the demons.

Lines from Bottom:

"You're keeping me alive! Today, today, you're killing me!" Could go both ways (Pabo/Sinfan and Hyoga) For Pabo it could just be another variation of the next line I'm about to talk about.

For Hyoga it could mean that he wouldn't be able to function if he didn't have the demons (Sinfan might posses him to make him fit in so nobody notices, keep him from dying from mortal wounds, and he's lived with them so long he might not know what to do without them), but with them he's slowly tearing himself apart from the inside out due to their constant tormenting. Metaphorically or literally is anyone's guess at the moment.

"Autophagy" (his songs name) is a medical term for "self eat" which normally happens when your body is starved, so it eats it's own cells to survive as long as it can. It can also correlate to certain diseases. Autophagy in these terms might also be referring to emotions. It's possible he's been stewing in any sort of negative emotions to cause such effects. (I.E: Guilt, fear, self worth issues,) which could make his resolve weaker, making it easier for Pabo and Sinfan to torment him/possess him. The longer it goes on, the closer he could be to self destructing.

"A wax figure/a doll is keeping me alive/killing me." Is more related to the demons in my eyes. "Wax figure/a doll" is likely referring to Hyoga. Hyoga could be their only tie to the mortal realm, (Sinfan being more prominent because he was summoned first, and by Hyoga himself.)

It could also mean that they need to inhabit his mind/body in order to survive and make it easier to torment Hyoga. If they both are in Hyoga's mind 24/7 while he suffers from nightmares (which cause lack of sleep, keeping his body in a perpetually weak state), no self worth, and a fragile mental state ("I wanna keep you out of my fragile mind!") while he tears himself apart, it would mean it would be harder to stay with him without something happening.

Due to that, it's likely that the very thing keeping them alive and in the mortal realm is also killing them at the same time.

It may be worth mentioning that a line in Bottom is "You think you're a god to me?" while 9lore translated Rinen's (Möbius') tattoo on his chest, which reads "Be still and know that I am god." It could a a coincidence, but I thought I'd mention it just in case (:

Throughout the entire song the demons are mocking and belittling Hyoga. (I.E: "Defying all logic, you're nothing but evil." "You're so stupid! You scumbag, scumbag, scumbag!") Most of the angry rant type of thing happens when Young Hyoga (tm) is on-screen. (It could be a tactic to make Hyoga not want to remember/manipulate his memories/tear down his resolve even more/or just plain upset him.)

"I mean, who, who, who are you?" It's been made clear that for the longest time (according to WOOMA) Hyoga didn't even remember his own name. "Who are you?" might be Pabo trying to get into Hyoga's head and make him question his own sanity.

"What the hell are you to me?" Implies that Pabo also want Hyoga to question why Pabo is here. Sinfan was summoned by Hyoga, but Pabometh was likely summoned by Sinfan to help tear down Hyoga. That means the two don't have much history, and Hyoga most likely doesn't know why Pabo is here for awhile.

It's "you to me" instead of "me to you" so Pabo could also be trying to get Hyoga to try and notice him in a positive way so that the nightmares stop. I'll expand on that some more a few (a lot) of paragraphs down.

"Inside my heart is- such a rage! Such a rage! So I'll grab you, grasp you, and crush you flat!" Is a line I find interesting. It also leads directing into another line; "The symptom of the unforgettable emotion is my burning intent to murder, which is absolutely right." Pabo would likely be talking about Hyoga, which implies that if he could, Pabo would murder Hyoga himself, but since the "wax figure" is needed to keep both him and his accomplice, Sinfan, alive, he can't.

It also implies that Pabo is extremely angry with Hyoga, for a reason I can't particularly pinpoint, except maybe for the fact that Hyoga's becoming more and more unstable and not safe for Pabo and Sinfan. The only problem is, it's Pabo and Sinfans fault he's like that. They're the ones that chose Hyoga as a vessel while simultaneously destroying him.

However, it's possible that Pabo's aim was to devoid Hyoga of anything and everything, (I.E: memories, emotions, etc. etc.) so that he was just that: a vessel. But with Hyoga being so destructive to himself, the whole plan could have gone awry and Pabo's only thought was how furious he was at Hyoga for messing up his chance to be in the mortal realm undetected for good, meaning he wishes he could destroy Hyoga and just get it over with so him and Sinfan could wait until someone else summoned them so they could take advantage of that.

""How deplorable you are! How deplorable you are!"" Is a line that has a chance of Hyoga himself having said it due to it having quotes on it. It also implies that he he could be fighting back, so his resolve might not crushed completely. However, a show of strength like that would likely just enrage Pabometh even more than he already is. It also doesn't help the positive impression he wants Pabo to have of him.

"You're involving yourself with me again like a clingy, clingy neighbor!" Sounds like Pabo, again, insulting Hyoga. If we go off of another part of this fever dream I've cooked up, (Hyoga not knowing what to do without the demons, but with them destroying himself), sounds like Pabo doesn't want to be with Hyoga anymore, going as far as hating him so much he's festering in it.

The "again" makes it sound like Hyoga's tried to communicate with them more than once, being unsuccessful each time. Hyoga could be trying to latch onto them, either to take them down with him or trying to get the nightmares to stop. Like I said, for a while Hyoga could have been trying to get positive attention and make Pabo like him.

"The low-end is going to manipulate me." Could be Pabo addressing that he knows what Hyoga was trying to do and calling him out for it.

"Brimming with momentary anger, rot away quickly, quickly, quickly!" Again, Pabo is talking about his burning hatred for Hyoga.

"I'm always losing! How, how dare you!" Implies that even with all the nightmares and torment, Hyoga has just enough willpower to keep Pabo from getting his wish, angering him even more.

And finally, a line from Autophagy:

"Oh, rise seeds of evil, bursting with malice!" Might be Hyoga finally giving into the demons and becoming their vessel if they take away his painful memories and stop hurting him.

Pentagram:

["-r Guide(A) N(?)E A(?)R"

"The ability to know wh-"

"Grant me the power to be strong in spirit-"

"Grant me the wisdom to understand-"]

With it over Pabo, it's possible that this was the one that summoned Pabo instead of Sinfan, although with it also under Hyoga, it could be Sinfan's. Who knows, it might also be boths.

In the ending scene with the pentagram, the colors of the other songs are visible, meaning that it's possible all of them are connected.

(I could go on for hours about the small loopholes that I think mean all the songs are connected in specific ways. Either way I know they're all from the same universe.)

With all their colors on it, it might mean they all have a demon of their own.

I'm still working slightly on the pentagram, I'll probably keep ya updated if I can find out what the rest of it says (:

If anyone can find the full version (preferably readable) of the pentagram, that'd be lovely (if it even exists)

(If you find more runes in "Bottom" or another Hiiragi song I'd be happy to see if I can translate it (: I'm not very good though, and I can't speak Japanese-)

English translation of Bottom used by: Tackmyn Y (I don't know where you are but you're a lifesaver)

Find any spelling errors, let me know! I'll see if I can fix 'em (:

If you read this far, what're you doing??

Have an absolutely amazing day!!! <3

#hiiragi kirai #wooma #autophagy #runes #translation #theories #fan theory #speculation #v flower #THE WOOMAVERSE #I need a manga anime and Netflix adaptation NOW

[purposelynana]

What Did I Watch: #12

Wow it's been a long time since i binge-watch things. I thought after the whole fiasco that happened in chinese entertainment industry last august, i would never stepped out again. But hey, who can resist a good watch? Thrilling and enganging watch? No one.

Last week, I finished The Pavilion, the first stuff that comes out from Iqiyi's Light On this year. It was thankfully not that heavy like The Long Night or creepy uncomfortable like The Bad Kids. Many people felt it was a letdown and I'm quite agree because the mystery itself was rather easy to crack.

Even though, it was predictable and honestly the bad guy was laughable. Come on it's not enough for drag to get dragged in reality (no pun intended) but the show makes me kinda feeling unsure about its potrayal towards drag. As per usual lah chinese intend to make the weirdest guy out there become a villain. Easy.

Meanwhile the family plot hahahaha I'm not saying it's bad but yeah sometimes it looked like they were trying to force something just to fulfill the duration per episode. Luckily, I used to ignore all of that and just enjoy every twists and turns even it wasn't that shocking.

The great part about this show is the shot. Chef's kiss.

And i have so many on-going dramas to watch. I finally figured out how to stop dropping dramas in the middle. Just watch it during its period air. But now there is a raising problem. I felt like don't have enough time.

First, gotta say Danger Zone is a pleasant surprise. Came from Taiwan and stared my first bias in history of my life, Vic Zhou. My first and only second-lead that I ended up liking. (Meteor Garden really changed the game lah). But this drama ain't romance-filled drama, to my shock it's so bloody, full with suspense, and no censor needed. Dammit, it's been so long I watched this kind of drama and I was regretting why I didn't start this sooner.

2021 is the year of the DILF, ma.

Despite the fact that sometimes the case was solved because there are just to many coincides and too complicated for their own good, it was rather ground-breaking for a Taiwanese drama that willing to this kind of genre. Or maybe my boundary isn't far enough. Because I've seen genre of dramas shifted in Korean dramas. Meanwhile Japan already gave the audiences so many choices since a decade ago. Let's see what will happen in the next couple of years.

Next drama on my watch-list is Jirisan. Wow, finally I saw something from Korea. It's the anniversary drama from TVN, written by THE Kim Eun-Hee, and starring two A-List stars. Come on. What could go wrong?

Well, nobody's perfect. The directing is such pain in the ass. The CGI isn't smooth enough. There are two things that I could think of. But don't let that stop you from watching this beautiful drama. The most important thing is it never let you be bored and keep intriguing you with the question of "what lies beneath those rocky mountains?". What a word.

I intend to drop Rainless Love in A Godless Land. It's too slow or too not engaging. Either way, it's boring. But I wanna know how Orad gonna die or not. He's already suffer enough. Yes, this is a Goblin rip-off but with great world-building.

Meanwhile, let me just introduce you to the drama that makes me feel things. The same feeling happened to me years ago when I started Innocent Man or that one drama when Song Joong Ki really prove everyone he can act.

Saiai is a tragic story. It will end badly. Every person who decide to watch this know the very fact, someone is going to die. But ah.. who are we anyway if not imperfect human trying their best every single day?

Yoshitaka Yuriko is the force to be reckoned with.

Before things get more gloomy than already it is, lets close this post with a gif from our favorite boys.

#what did i watch #the pavilion #danger zone #jirisan #rainless love in a godless land #saiai #keita hatsukoi

[agustdiv1ne]

thank you + milestone!!

damn, never thought we'd get here, did we?

in all honesty, it's been a pretty shit year. march 'til now has felt like the same month on repeat with tiny tweaks to make it all so much worse. but i'm not here to complain about the worst parts of this year, i'm here to celebrate the best ones.

this was the year that i finally started writing, that i was finally spurred to open a google doc and just type away until a tiny work of fiction stared back at me. my first one was 1k words, a rant to get all of my emotions off of my chest with an idol as my muse. it felt...great, though it also felt a bit odd writing after being an avid reader for years. i always did prefer essays to creative writing, but this year definitely changed that perspective.

i wrote that first blurb along with another fic in late july, and in early august, i asked my friends if i should post them. om august 3rd, i changed this blog from a fic rec to a fic writing blog just like that. i regret none of it.

it's been nearly five months since i revamped this blog and i couldn't be more grateful for the support i have gotten from all of you, whether it be a kind comment, a like, a reblog, all of it. i never thought anyone would like my content, but i've been proven severely wrong by this community. from my irls that are on here, to my lovely mutuals and followers, to those i've talked to a lil bit on this hellsite, to the writers whose fics i absolutely adore, to those who have left a like or a comment on one of my fics, i want to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart ♡

have a happy and healthy new year! i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

though i'm painfully bad at writing letters and getting all sappy, i wanted to write them anyways hahaha let's goooo

to @hwaddict:

my irl best friend!! my partner in crime!!!! i love you sm carly, and there are not enough words in this world for me to describe the extent of my love. you have been there for me during my lowest moments, you've seen me cry, and i don't cry in front of many ppl. i trust you with my life and i'm so glad that we became friends back in middle school bc you are one reasons that spur me to keep going. i can't wait to see where life takes us and know that while i might not always be able to be there physically (especially with college right around the corner), i will always be there for you in any way i can be. again i love you and i can't wait to conquer next year with you ♡♡

to @hopejanaee:

hope!! hobi!!! one of my irls! though we just became friends earlier this year, it feels like we've been friends for ages. it's crazy how close we grew so quickly but i am so grateful to have you in my life. you never fail to make me laugh whenever we're together and you're so chaotic but in such a good way hahaha. you were the one who got me into writing with your own wonderful fics so thank yoi for that. i'm so happy that we became friends because you're so kind and caring and ahhhhhh i love u sm ♡

to @oikawasmilkbread:

we talked for like 0.2 seconds but you are so kind and hella cool!! it was nice having random conversations with you and i'm so glad you randomly dmed me bc i am shy and i have 0 idea how to start conversations with anyone lmao. i always smile when i see you in my notifs! i hope you have a happy new year!!! ♡

to @luthenia:

i know you're on hiatus but seeing you in my notifs always excites me hahaha. we never talk but you are so supportive of everyone in this community and i just wanted to shout you out for that! your memes are top tier LMAO and i can't wait for when you come back, happy new year ♡

to @starsforten:

we also talked for approximately 1 second but it was so fun talking to you about astrology stuff (virgo sun libra rising gang hahahaha) and those teuta matoshi dresses! you are so nice and easy to talk to and i hope your new year is happy and fruitful! ♡

i recommend every single one of these blogs for their amazing content!! i added some of my favorite fics as i'm a whore for great writing hahaaaa

@kinktae

waterloo — a masterpiece! taehyung is so bitter at the beginning and it's adorable seeing how y/n breaks his tough shell. loved this from beginning to the end ♡

hot rod — the 50s slang, the dynamic between hoseok and y/n...*chef's kiss*

@untaemedqueen

welcome to seoul land — werewolf!namjoon really got me going, 100/10 would recommend

graceful gods — this is one of my all-time favorites, greek god!jungkook has my brain going brrrr

@shadowsremedy + @therealmintedmango

support system — adorable!! this is a hybrid!yoongi fic i really enjoy, and the series isn't over yet! check it out~

@bratkook

tear you apart — demon!taehyung...holy shit. i was speechless

@tatertotthethot

the doms next door — THIS SERIES OMG, i've read each part at least five times already. taekook got me acting UP

scream (posted to @yandere-society) — a really cool take on the movie scream with jungkook, yandere fics don't always appeal to me but this one absolutely did

@ateezmakemeweep

broken — the immense ache i felt in my chest while reading this, but i loved both parts with a burning passion. san is so sweet in this :')

@atinybrew

dirty free for all — the ULTIMATE demon!san fic. the writing is absolutely immaculate and this is the first fic that had me blushing down my mf ARMS

rice milk lattes and bryophytes roads — another san fic admittedly because i'm whipped for san lol. anyways, this was cute and hot at the same time and best friend!yunho made my double biasing ass that much happier

@seacottons

pan — an adorable peter pan!hongjoong fic, it had my heart going achhfhsjfjsjf

sir kiss me — circus au with san holy hell i loved every twist and turn of this

@actuallythatwaspromise

bad romance — one of my favorite yunho fics ever, punk rock!yunho x nerd!reader has my entire heart

aurora garden center and desire ink — florist!mingi had me uwuing for the entire fic, this was adorable and i loved it sm

@yeonjuncore

every single fic on this blog is an absolute masterpiece, i swear

the devil's little angel — THIS IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITES, demon!yeonjun had me screaming and it was just so fun to read and i loved every single second of it so much that i've read it nearly ten times now. so go read it, you won't regret it!

the boy with the horns — another of my ultimate favorites (i told you, their writing is just that amazing), woodland fey!soobin just had me going so soft :(( i literally sobbed at one point, that's how invested i was

bleeding heart — the tension between vampire!yeonjun and vampire slayer!reader had me screeching

curtain call — i have a sad crush vampire!soobin

i love you, always — this felt so..bittersweet? taehyun loves y/n so much, i lowkey cried while reading this

@angelfic

the art of (mis)communication — i am a whore for both reconciliation and yeonjun, 100000/10 pls read this i beg of you

@angelictaehyun

growing pains — ahhh once again a yeonjun fic, my chest hurt a lil bit at some points but it was so sweet!!

@neovisioned

bed of spiderwebs — spiderman!mark has my heart screeching, i loved every second of it ♡

eddie ate dynamite — johnny suh coming for my throat yet again

cupid victorious — cupid!jaehyun :'))) definitely one of my favorites!!

@domjaehyun

quarantine chronicles — ok if you haven't read this or the part two yet then you're missing out big time!! the tension, the buildup, every single part of this fic was just *chef's kiss* but multiply thay by a million

all these years — every single moment of this felt so nostalgic and the ending was so sweet :')

@caiuscassiuss

muse — i keep going back to this one constantly, the angst in this phenomenal and i love artist!taeyong sm here

@neoct-zen

loverboy — HOT, AMAZING, I SCREAMED. the blurbs that accompany this are also top-tier i recommend reading each and every one!!

@moondustis

pink + white — i'm so soft for mark i stg, this was the cutest thing ever

@loviejaehyun

can't avoid this feeling — hockey player!mark is the best thing ever

all tied up — i just- screamed as i read this bc professor!jaehyun is too hot goodbye

@hopejanaee

incapable — this is one of the best yoongi fics i've ever read ngl, it's not completed quite yet but the parts that have been posted are top tier!!

breathless — THIS. I LOVED THIS. yuta is just so hfjshhfhshfnsn and i love this sm

@hwaddict

melting point — big boy mingiiii, 100/10 would recommend

@okayau

house next to mine — frat boy!yeonjun rly got me going, cute and hot at the same time ahhhhbfnsnnf

youth — ADORABLE, yeonjun's confession is peak i love it here

run away — how many yeonjun fics can i fit in this post? (answer: a lot) definitely one of my favorite harry potter aus!! it was awesome seeing how their relationship changed throughout the years and perhaps i teared up a little at the end :'))

@starrychannies

baby steps — ONE OF ALL-TIME MY FAVORITE FICS ON THIS SITE, every single part is so well-written and ahhhhhfhdhhf chan makes me feel some type of way

my stupid — another yeonjun fic! angsty but v cute at the end :')

@baekhvuns

this youth of craziness — 40k words of pure gold, this fic is absolutely one of my favorite san fics ever!!

replacement — prince!ten makes my brain go brrrr, i love how the y/n just speaks her mind here

@masterninjacow

untitled project — i saw soulmate au with mark and i knew would already love it, and i did! pizza boy!mark at that, amazing and i adored it

more amazing blogs!!: @galaxteez, @poutybinz, @lustjoong, @bloominghigh

these are just a few of the fics and blogs i found this year, find more on my fic rec blog @agustdiv1ne-recs!! (my thumbs are starting to hurt i'm so sorry bfjshfhsh)

wrapping up each month since august since that's when i actually started posting LMAO

☆ august

03: good enough — chan

03: bloodsucker — seonghwa

04: cutie — san

09: veloxrotaphobia — mingi

19: want — changbin

21: numb — yunho

100 follower special — i reached 100 followers towards the end of august, my first ever milestone :') also my first ever time taking requests, 'twas very fun ♡

☆ september

03: on camera — jungkook

☆ october

27: oh, worm? — namjoon

31: demon days — san

☆ november

10: a letter to my love — xiaojun

23: bad for u — jaehyun

27: home sweet home — yeonjun

☆ december

christmas bash 2020 — my brain went hey what if you did this- and i listened so here's 17 holiday fics hahahaa (not all of them are out yet but i'm working on it!!)

things i plan to release in 2021!!

☆ sunflower — jimin

☆ cross — yeonjun

☆ landslide — seonghwa

☆ nice save — san

☆ red — hyunjin

☆ a secret series (that will be revealed once i plan everything) — ateez

☆ 4 unrelated secret fics oOoOoo — will i reveal them? you'll just have to wait and see ;)

there will definitely be more posted! these are the ones that are going to be my priority at first, but my imagination is always churning so expect a lot more :)) check out all of non-secret wips here!

i hit 500 followers a couple days ago! i nearly screamed when i saw that LMAO. thank you so much for liking my content because i work hella hard on it :') sometimes i feel like i don't deserve y'all really, but @hwaddict will yell at me if i say that so ig i take it back hfhshhdhg

a post for celebrating this milestone will come as soon as i finish up the rest of my christmas fics!! sorry that i'm so slow :( (hint: my requests will be open, so look out for it!)

so yeah!! that's it, sorry for the painfully long post (i'm sorry to my thumbs for typing this whole thing out </3). thank you to everyone who read this far!! i hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year, and in the words of txt's cover, fuck 2020. may 2021 be a much better year for all of us!!!

much love,

ashlee ♡

#i'm sorry if i missed anyone :(( #j know i love and appreciate u a lot #it's j my thumbs are literally cramping up as i type this :( #2021 celebration! #happy new year y'all #lmk if any of links are wrong bc i will fix them asap

[yamithediaperdork]

History of -baby- trunks (DBZ)

When I first started training with my hero and idol Son Gohan to battle the android, Of course my goal was to save the world. It became even more important to me after he was killed in a battle with the twin beasts.

Ironically while I've failed to destroy them and lost more then I could ever thought possible, I've done just that since the androids are too busy with my ever lasting torment and humiliation to bother with the rest of the world.

My name is Trunks Briefs, and THIS is my story.

It all started after my failed attempt to kill the androids. a young half super sayien giving it his all to avenge a fallen mentor, I had deluded myself into thinking a stood a chance.

The notion I stood a chance was quickly beat out of me after they shrugged off my best attack and knocked me around like I was the red headed step child, then openly started to mock me and getting in my head.

"Awww, Isn't that the toddler that used to hang out with lefty?"

"Sure is! Look who graduated to big boy pants!"

At this point I'd lost the ability to hold my super sayian form and had been hiding in one of the building they had cleared out, desperately trying to control my breath AND my bladder.

"Awww, look who thinks he's the champ at hide and seek!" 18's voice rang out, making me look around, the bare control I had on my bladder starting to slip.

"T-Their bluffing.." I muttered to myself, forgetting that among their many enhancements, hearing was one of them.

"Peek a boo." Came 17's voice, a second before he burst though the wall behind him, stopping in front of me and looking over his shoulder. "I found you."

even as he backhanded me, sending me flying though was was left of the wall and crashing onto the earth below, my bladder gave way and my light grey jeans did nothing to hide the fact.

"Awww, did baby fall down and go boom?" 18's voice rang out.

my eyes were closed in pain and shame and I was trying to get up, but her foot came down on the back of my head.

"Awww don't worry, I'll make it all bet- ..Holy shit! 17! The bitch pissed himself!" 18 called out, going from condescending to outright amused, laughing.

"No way!" 17's voice called out, then it was much closer. "Hahahaha! Oh wow! we have a widdle pants wetter!"

"Sheesh, we better finish it off not before baby craps his underoo's." 18 said, and I managed to open my eyes enough to see her looking down at me with a sneer.

Oddly 17 was brushing at that and then reached out and grabbed his sisters hand, pulling it back.

"Wait.." He said.

She went from confused to annoyed and let out a massive sign.

"oh god, not again! This never works out and you know it! they break to easily!" She ranted.

"But these golden haired weirdos are more durable! come on, Pleassse! I promise I'll handle everything this time!" 17 said and I was MORE then confused as he gave his sister puppy dog eyes and had his hands together.

"I must have a concussion.." I muttered.

"Hush babykins! Daddies bargaining for your life!" 17 said, shaking a finger at me then turning back to his sister.

"You SAY that but then I always end up having to change them because you like them in droopy diapers for hours on end!" 18 said.

Poopie diapers? Daddy? Babykin's? let's just say this red flag was fucking crimson and if I hadn't of been too hurt to get up I would of been flying for my life...not that I think it would of helped since I was pretty sure they were faster then me.

"Please please please please please please plea-" 17 was saying over and over again until 18 let out a anoyyed sigh.

"FINE! But if this one breaks, we're not getting anther!" she said and shook her head. "God, act your destination not your shoe size."

"yay! your the better robo twin ever!" 17 said and hugged her then crouched down to look at me. "Welcome to babyhood little guy! Oh..and sorry about this."

Before I could even ask what 'this' was, His fist shot towards my face and darkness took over.

when I woke up I had a splitting head ache..well ok I ached all over but I was alive. the room I was in spun around and I was forced to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to fight off a wave of nausea then I started to sit up.

the bed I was on felt super soft and had a fuzzy sheet on it and I'd been covered in a light blanket I tossed off, eyes still shut when I felt something weird around my hips, and heard a crinkle.

"...Ohhhh no..." I groaned, recalling what 17 had said before he'd knocked my lights out.

Slowly I opened one eye and took a look around my new room which just as I had freed, was a semi nursery though it had been set up in a cave. I already knew what I'd see when I opened my other eye and looked down, or at least had thought I'd known.

Clearly I was wearing a diaper, from the feel around my hips and the crinkles I was making, but it wasn't really visible unless you counted the bulge that it made under the white diaper shirt with a dino print on it that I was wearing.

"Ok..Ok. Don't freak out. Maybe your just in a coma, and this is one of those deep dreams.." I muttered to myself, taking anther look around my cave nursery.

It looked like it had at one point been one of the cave lab's that every mad scientist worth his tittle seemed to have (Heck, Mom even used to have one!) but any lab equipment had been replaced with a changing table, a rocking chair, dressers and a toy chest and well, last but not least the crib my diapered ass was sitting in. almost as a after thought since it didn't extend to the walls a rug had been put down.

Standing up in the crib my head swam for a second and I almost plopped back down onto my newly pampered backside but instead i just held onto the crib rail and shut my eyes again, swaying a bit.

"Great..I'm dressed like a oversized baby and I have a concussion. can this get ANY worse?" I muttered out loud.

As it turned out I temping fate and that was one asshole you didn't wanna tempt. even as i finished my statement my guts churned and I hunched slightly, a old familiar need taking hold.

"I just HAD to say something didn't I??" I complained to no one, though as I would later learn the room was wired for sound and 17 and 18 had been listening in and watching from hidden cameras with glee. (They've often joked about maybe selling the footage for a hit reality series on Netflix..I just pray they're kidding.)

Just because I was wearing a diaper and the changing table and diaper pail told me what was expected of me, didn't mean I was gonna just sit back and crap myself however. I wasn't as bad as I've heard my father was but I still had my pride.

It was easy enough to get out of the crib, I didn't even need to fly though the movement didn't exactly agree with my goal of trying to keep my pants clean and I let out a 12 second ripper that would of had my mom running for a window and Gohan chuckling and telling me to name that sucker.

I was eyeing what I was gonna take a dump in as my hands moved down to open up the diaper shirt when suddenly there was a hard swat on my pampered behind that despite their thickness hurt and sent me stumbling forward and tripping, arms coming out so i didn't brain myself on the floor but ending up face down and ass up.

it also made what little control I'd had left go out the window and my back door opened up and unleashed it's own take on a big bang attack.

"Ah ah ah baby, no touching your dia- Heh..Jeez Kiddo, not wasting anytime huh?" 17 said, appearing in front of me and leaning down, going from wagging a finger at me to realizing what was happening.

"I..I..Shut up!" I said, and followed it up with the cutting insult of "Stop watching me poop you perv!"

I'm sure despite the look of amusement on his face, 17 was torn to spreads by my witty insults... Yeah it's a nice fantasy world I live in. you should come and visit sometime.

"Awww, Somebodies just cranky because Daddy had to scold him. it's ok..I know the next few days are gonna be rough so I'll go easy on ya." 17 said and ruffled my hair and patted my head in a manner that if anyone else had been doing it and I hadn't of been in the middle of shitting my guts out..might of been nice.

"heh, oh yeah, I can see it in your eyes, your gonna be a hostage taker. you needy daddy boys are. just gonna have to crack though that shell first." 17 said.

"I am NOT a daddies boy! and I will Never give into y- Ahh! Poopie!"

while I had been in the middle of making my defiant statement and finished unloading into the seat of the diaper 17 had just smirked and reached back, and rubbed and squished the seat of the messy diaper in a way that was 70 percent gross and I hated it, and 30 percent 'oh, i could get to like that'

Blushing I tried to will myself NOT to react with a stiffie from the wave of kinda nice feelings this was awake when a SHARP pain made me yelp out.

"OW! what did you do to my dick!" I cried out.

"Awww, did babykins try and get a widdle stiffie from having him's stinky butt pwayed wff? Ever kewt!" 17 coo'ed and chuckled, tickling my chin.

"Answer the freaking question!" I huffed, trying to sound scary but I mean.. let's recap: here I was in a diaper shirt, a poopie diaper, and getting hot and bothered from having my stinky butt patted. Destroyer of worlds I was not.

"Such a grumpy gus! Just for that you can spend a extra hour in your stinky huggies." 17 said.

"Like hell he will! he's worse then the last one!" 18 said, making me look over at the door to my apparently new room. She was holding her nose and glaring at 17pointing at the changing table with her free hand. "Change his butt, NOW!"

"Awww but sis, he's totally getting off on it! come on!" 17 pleaded.

"Change his diaper or I'm taking him to the dog pound."

"..She's joking right?" I asked.

"I wish..Finnne be a bitch all your life! Didn't know Gero converted you when you were ridding the cotton pony." 17 snapped, standing up and was about to help me up when he took a kick from 18 that knocked into into the cave wall, leaving a dent. Glaring at him and standing where he was, 18 turned to me and smile.

"Don't worry little guy, I'm not made at you. this is all on your daddy. ..You are cute..but you'll be cuter when your nott smelly. Auntie is gonna have LOTS of fun with you and had lots of butt plugs to keep you from stinking her room up." she said then walked away leaving me confused and 217 pulling himself out of the wall.

"yeah you better run bitch!" He called after her, getting a middle finger as a response and then she slammed the door.

"...Sooo any chance that didn't just ruin me being viewed as the most dominant member of our happy little family?" he asked turning to me.

"...I mean.."

"Damn it! you only get one chance to imprint with these things! fucking bitch!"

Needless to say, this didn't fill me any sort of confidence that things were gonna get better for me.

the end for now