#HOW do your windows work

[fairyrona]

when everything's made to be broken (i just want you to know who i am) by @hoteadepresso pt 1

‘Stop.’ Will forced out, shaking his head in disbelief, hurt painting his features ‘Mike, that’s not funny. It’s mean.’ He thought he was joking. Mike was throwing his bleeding heart onto his floor, and he thought it was some sort of a prank. Fuck. ‘You really think I would joke about it?’ his voice sounded like it came from far away, weak and broken. His hand twitched, yearning to touch Will, to take his hand, to brush his fingertips against his warm skin for just one second even if that was all he could ever get.

late happy birthday present for Alex, the bestestest person out there!!!

a little bit of backstory; Once upon a time user @hoteadepresso wrote a fic (click here!!) (read it, its fucking amazing!!!!!!) which I immediately wanted to make fanart of, so, ofc it took me like, over a year to finish just this pt 1 <33

thus, the artstyle changes, which are a thing in this thing

#happy!!!! birthday!!!! cant wait to see u tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxx #byler #will byers #stranger things #mike wheeler #st5 #my art #byler fanart #will byers fanart #also this had long haired mike at first but #changes were made #also #a genuine question #to americans #HOW do your windows work #is it physically possible for mike to get himself into that room #bc i was basing this on the fact that mike is cat liquid #the biggest supernatural thing in this is mike getting on the garage roof of the steve's house and into that room #yeah #mike's hairy legs are a paid actor actually bc i dont think he could grow these #all the hair is on the head for this guy #oh and yes the byers are living with steve #bc #yes #forced proximity is the shit #HOWEVER #forced distance?????? the food of gods #oh and the next part is in the works #see you next march 6th maybe #if the quality gets absolutely wrecked im offing myself

[golyadkin]

I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr

not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work

believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody

#not art #listen #for real #this is not about any one person because i've seen posts about it from a bunch of people #you think i post everything here? buddy i dont even post half my stuff here #every drawing you see is preceded by five more just like it #that never see my cursor close to the save button #i have a sketchbook i draw in regularly that i do'nt show to a single goddam person #i make cutout art from gels i steal from work and stick them to my windows and do paintings in my living room just for me #because that it the only way you are ever going to be able to retain your original love of art #is by doing it for the sake of doing it #not for the sake of seeing how many people stop and stare #anyways i'm sorry if this sounds terse #but i'm so sick of seeing artists put all their self-esteem and happiness in the hands of a blogging website #stop selling yourself short by measuring your self worth by how many reblogs you get and what people say in the tags #your artistry and your happiness are worth more than that #if you're an artist for a living that's another story #but even then #even then #anyways sorry i'm done ranting

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Phantom stared at the monitor with baited breath. He had been alerted by the computers beeping and came to see what was going on.

Could this really be happening? After all this time alone in his lair, waiting, hoping for any sign that his last remaining friend was still out there, his ecto-signature finally showed up on his radar.

This had to be a trap.

But...what if it wasn't? What if Robin was really there? What if he was hurt and waiting for Phantom to come rescue him? The thought made his stomach drop. He knew what his birdy had gone through when he was still alive and he would rather feed himself to a pool of ghost piranhas than let Robin believe for a second that he had been abandoned again.

Grabbing the essentials and shoving them into a bag he rushed out of his lair. It had been years since he had seen his birdy and even longer since he had been in Amity Park or any other variation of the Living Realms. But this was for his best friend. For him he would do anything.

...

Which apparently included fighting his besties adoptive dad in the streets while he was in a full Gothic fursuit-Robin what the heck- Robin himself wasn't helping, he was just cheering Phantom on from the sidelines and giving him tips.

Phantom managed to get away from the bat and his other birds- how many did he have???- and had an emotional reunion with his best friend which included a lot of tears, mostly from him.

Okay, entirely from him. He was worried out of his mind for his birdy, sue him. Robin was mostly confused, saying he didn't remember disappearing, only that he felt more and more strange before he just...blanked. The next this he knew he was standing over this prone figure of a guy with a leather jacket and a full faced red helmet. Batman looked at him odd and Robin didn't hesitate to mock the man he once viewed as a father.

They fought for a bit with the younger vigilante using all the powers Phantom taught him along with his furry training to beat up the man who abandoned him to the mercy of one of his rogues.

Speaking of which. The very next thing Jason did was find the Joker and do everything the deranged clown did to him. Karma. It was on one of his later confrontations that Phantom appeared. Now the darker dynamic duo are running around Gotham being ghostly and more or less doing whatever they want.

Bruce was spiraling mentally. His second son lay in the batcaves infirmary stuck on life support because somehow, some way, his soul was knocked out of his body.

They needed to find some way to put it back in before that other teen "took him home" and Bruce really hoped that didn't mean what he thinks it means.

#dp x dc #fanfiction prompts #prompts #danny phantom #batman #danny fenton #robin ii #jason todd #can be #dead on main #i was originally going to make this a one sided dead on main prompt where danny is head over heels for jason but #i just didnt know how to write the pining over your best friend thing #danny and jason are so chaotic in this and are bad influences on eachother #they like to tease batman by doing stuff like cloud watching via laying down on Wayne tower which would be normal #if it wasnt for the fact they were laying on a VERTICAL SURFACE and right on the windows too so the office workers see them #i should be working on that dc x dp x pokemon au but im procrastinating so have this instead #oh and danny is stuck at 14 forever in both forms due to the whole dying thing and robin! Jason is stuck at 15

[ridragon]

I'm surprised at the amount of people who reblog tutorials on how to forcibly turn stuff off on their computer without knowing what said thing does. Like the Tumblr post going around now is probably fine, it's just a Windows search function, but you guys need to NEED TO fucking check if they're basically telling you delete system 32 to make your computer go faster because PEOPLE USED TO DO THAT. A LOT. IT STOPPED AFTER PEOPLE STOPPED FALLING FOR IT. BUT GODS DAMNED IF IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE PEOPLE WOULD DO IT NOW IF THERE WAS A TUMBLR POST SAYING SO.

#fyi deleting system 32 is uh. deleting your os basically. youd be bricking your computer. #people should know that but unfortunately people do not #im tearing my hair out please know how things work before poking around #ri rambles #computers #technology #windows #pc help #gremlin brain wants to add onto that post saying how to do thag

[tired-twink]

i was a figure drawing artist for quite a while, and im going to say that models with fat and/or excess skin were the most amazing to study. you can only draw so many thin muscles and sinew for anatomical study before youve seen and learnt it all. and when you finally get to experience putting the soft parts of a human ontop of the skeleton--the skin, the rolls, the fat, the curves and the layers of distribution on every part regardless of where it is or how much--you realize that when a 'perfect body' is presented to us as the 'default,' we lose understanding of the way our body is uniquely ours. remember to love the soft parts. they are, in their own way, art

#body positivity #really and truly you do not see how the curves are beautiful independently of what society has told you #idk im having a moment lol #and this isnt a pick against people who WANT to work out and change their body comp #we just need to be nicer to ourselves first #despite any grievances we might have against ourselves #also if you misconstrue this post i will come to your home and break all your windows

[ad-hawkeye]

artem's personal stories are always so good. like they are the only constant in this game in that i get the same enjoyment reading them as i did his original personal stories 1-4.

this latest event has been one of my favorites for a few reasons, but i feel legally required to post about this

absolute iconic. malewife artem is now a canon concept and he gets REALLY embarrassed about it

#tears of themis #artem wing #also the very end of the story where rosa is like ANSWER QUICK. ME AND YOUR WORK PAPERS ARE FALLING OUT A WINDOW. WHAT DO YOU DO. #and artem goes off on a batshit insane tangent about how logically impossible such a situation is. god i love him

[malulurivers]

I don't know if you do crossovers, but if you do, how would viktor react to a spider-person S/O? Spidersonas have been blowing up again since across the spiderverse so it made me curious

when it comes to spiderverse i absolutely do, anon! i've seen some fantastic art of jayce and viktor in the style of spiderverse, i think i reblogged it somewhere, so to say 'i love this idea' and 'i've had a little think about it already' would be two big understatements!

i'll try to keep it succinct though XD

☾ ₊ ˚ ✩ ˚ ｡ ☽

How Viktor would react to having a spider-person SO

honestly, the word 'fascinated' could tldr this entire post

Viktor is quite a private person, who would absolutely treasure communication and trust in a relationship

so as the Spider of the Runeterran universe, as soon as you had made your relationship official, you knew you had to tell him of your secret identity sooner rather than later

you'd been surprised neither he nor Jayce had worked it out yet, being incredibly intelligent inventors and all

but you'd figured they'd be safer not knowing, so you'd tried to subtly keep it from them anyway, and directed the conversation away from your Spider-alter ego whenever they occasionally came up

so you had it planned out.

you were going to tell Viktor next time he was at home, when you got him in a break day, and it was going to be the just the two of you. somewhere private, somewhere safe.

you would explain everything gently. you'd reassure him that if he wasn't comfortable with being with you because of it, then you'd have no resentment towards him

there were plenty of good reasons to be wary after all

then one night you had a particularly long escapade

trying to uncover a deeply-rooted crime circle, you'd ended up rescuing a group of young people who had gotten in trouble with enforcers for frankly ridiculous reasons

you'd then had to outsmart and deal with said enforcers (who were undoubtedly the worst part) to escape, and they head nothing back in their chase

you'd decided to head to the lab instead of home for safety, as at least that wasn't as incriminating. also there was more spaces to hide

it was so late that it was morning, and even you expected that Viktor had gone home by now

but he had, in fact, not

so you'd entered the lab by climbing through the Jana-knows-what storey window, blood rushing with adrenaline, levering yourself down to the floor cleanly with a web

right beside Viktor's desk, where he was sat, eyes wide and frozen

it hurt to see his expression focused on you. he was hiding it well but there was fear in how he swallowed, in how he clenched his fist on the handle of his cane

it hurt until you remembered that 1. he did not know it was you, and 2. he had just witnessed you crawling on glass, spinning on webs and moving way too fast for a normal human

also 3. you bore a striking resemblance to the description given of a 'criminal' (as described by enforcers) that had recently been reported to be involved in the explosion of a factory in the Undercity

sure, you knew it had been for good: that you had apprehended your target, and there had been no casualties

but it dawned at you that Viktor remaining as calm as he did was inherently a miracle

"can I... help...? you...?"

his thoughts were rushing at 100mph compared to their normal 50, and you could see it in his searching stare, watching and waiting for you to move, speak, do anything

luckily, after a few seconds of stumbled words and a hasty removal of your mask, he was back down to earth, heaving a sigh and almost laughing in relief

"I cannot believe—I thought you were...!"

for a moment anyhow, before the reality sunk in further and you were bombarded with questions

"wait, you are the Spider? the masked vigilante?"

"where did you just come from? were you fighting someone?"

"are you alright? are you hurt? did anyone follow you?"

after some explanation and reassurance, he relaxes a lot

honestly he takes the news very well! despite the unplanned nature of its reveal

he's very pragmatic as a person and very loyal

despite the obvious exhaustion on his face, he perks up with intrigue as you tell him everything—how you got bitten, how you got hold of your current suit, how you chose your identity, what you've been keeping tabs on, who you've fought, what you've lost.

however, he is a scientist first and foremost after all, so even after the basics are out of the way, his curiosity is never going to be quite sated

so later on, he's asking more specifics

he's always very polite when requesting to see your abilities, very gentle and never overwhelming you. he wants to see all of them, if you'll allow him to

the webs, the wall-climbing, the increased agility and strength, the spider sense, no matter what it is, you always leave him amazed

and your abilities quickly become a source of inspiration for his own trajectories into science

he's particularly fascinated with the possibilities of your webs, regardless of whether they're organic or mechanical

he sees this as an opportunity to work with you and that makes him very happy indeed

on top of inspiring him scientifically, your passion for helping others reminds him what he's doing his work for, as well as how much he loves you

he adores your heart, your compassion, even if it worries him that you're putting yourself in harms way

this likely leads to him putting time aside for side projects, where he invents things to help you

he may be more of a pacifist, but he's surprisingly down with vigilante justice

he wants to help and protect people with his own technology, he'd be a hypocrite with his head in the sand if he believed that never fighting was truly an option

just as long as you're careful

because of this, he's not going to make you weapons. not that you would ever ask him to. that's not your style, and you'd much rather have the tools he creates to help you escape extra sticky situations

his main focus first and foremost is to help upgrade your suit, particularly providing more safety for your mask so you can breathe in the Undercity

however, whatever upgrade or mechanism it is as time goes on, he always lets you take the lead. you're the hero, not him, and he just wants to support you as best he can

for what it's worth, he'll talk positively of your secret identity to Jayce, hoping it'll get through to Mel

he would even defend you publicly if he was in the council room and the Spider came up

much to your chagrin, as you're worried for his safety just as much as he's worried about yours

when you move in together particularly, you're aware of the danger you're putting him in

you regularly frequent the Undercity and have dealings down there, so returning to live Topside by day has its innate dangers

especially when you're constantly avoiding villains and enforcers alike

but also your identity must stay a secret for his sake as well as yours

he'd be ruined if the fact that he's in a committed relationship with a a vigilante became known

unsurprisingly, Viktor overlooks this part

but as long as the two of you look out for each other, you're certain nothing can go wrong

overall Viktor is a caring and loyal partner, and this wouldn't change in the slightest if his S/O was a vigilante spider-person

he'd be incredibly supportive, though likely wouldn't be able to keep from getting a little excited over the capabilities of your powers. and from asking a ton of questions

you'd become a muse of sorts for him in some of his inventions, and a close partner in his technology in other ways

although, if you have access to the Spiderverse? poor man's going to start fizzing internally

the prospect of portals? already functioning across dimensions? universes?!

he's a reserved kind of person, but I don't think he'd be able to stop himself from trying to weasel his way into meeting someone who knew a lot about how it worked

aka, if you don't know how the Arachnoid Humanoid Poly-Multiverse's teleporting mechanics work, then he's going to try and talk to someone who does

with your permission of course

I think that Viktor would get along very well with Miguel...!

...until he very much doesn't.

☾ ₊ ˚ ✩ ˚ ｡ ☽

masterlist | buy me a hot chocolate <3

#viktor x reader #arcane x reader #spidersona #arcane x spiderverse #viktor fluff #arcane fluff #spiderverse arcane #arcane spiderverse #just imagining miguel and viktor chatting now #theyd get along so well! discussing science and being all broody together #until it all flies out of the window with the inevitable morals discussion and #idk i feel like they would just inevitably start bickering about *something* and it just wouldnt end well #this has reminded me that i wanted to write a somewhat crossover fic where the science bros ran into someone who could actually do magic #it would basically be me shamelessly theorising on how the magic system in arcane runeterra works #or just flinging it out and going full crossover #but that other crossover universe would be my own original work #bc your girl loves to keep busy and has too many projects on at once of course #and is working on a worldbuild as well #technically #god help me i feel like my understanding of the lore is wrong--runeterra is the realm's name right? could indicate the universe?

[springlock-suits]

Hnnnnnng

#guesss who found a broken claw machine for cheap #in the cleaning phase #well extra clea ing #this is how i cope with not getting the clown machine (silly) #im gonna store my plushies in here :3c #girl help how do you convince your father that you dont want to go though the cost and effort to get thsi working #i dontt have anymore outlets on that wall. your speaker and lights idea is cool but how many times do i have to say it needs to be #battery powered instead of a plug or any sort of wire #not sure how to clean the metal/black parts #taking out to windows to clean the inside more thoroughly #and the windows #this bitch is DIRTY #i accidently stepped on the foam from the prize drop after taking it out and it crumbled into dust

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there #im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold #at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire #theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade #of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about #the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc #its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a #metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm #just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long #sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone #its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it #everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much #damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i #collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells #me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my #wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im #excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it #feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun #is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's #what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy #but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire #unrelated #hm i should maybe add a tw to this #tw self injury #but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life #but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it

[bloody-shadow666]

If you guys don't hear from me for a while it's because I went to prison for murdering my fucking neighbors with an axe

#theyre loud. theyre so loud #I do not understand how you can be SO fucking disrespectful of other people around you #It's 10 pm and they've got their windows open blasting music on full volume hooting and hollering #I don't actually care that it's nye it's not an excuse to lose your fucking manners #Nobody's even shooting fireworks anymore because it's LATE and everyone has WORK in the morning

[mythvoiced]

-. OH to be a rich south korean man standing in front of a tall-ass window, completely still with my hands in my expensive pockets, staring out at nothing and having a bad time because some other character is not letting me do whatever it is i damn want even though I Am The Man™

#;ooc #;tbd #watching Celebrity in between work SHIT'S WILD #essential reading for Lynnie's galaxy brain plots #why can't sihyeon's husband just... take matters into his own hands and fk jun-kyung #so i can finally have my sihyeon x ari endgame romance JEEZ #btw how many kdrama characters popped up in your head while reading that there has to be a bunch amiright #if there's one thing businessmen will do it's stare out windows #ANYWAYS PLEASE SAVE ME FROM WORK IT'S SO BAD LMAO #it's 19:30 / 7:30 pm here right now and i could stop for today but the more i do today #the less i have to deal with this later on GOSH #so i'mma... go back to that BIG SIGH

[badboysupr]

this is something i talked about 5ever ago when i first started this blog, but an aspect of leo that's as interesting as it is frustrating to me is how he handles other people's problems/trauma bc like

boy's so wrapped up in his own bs and too busy cracking jokes at his own expense that he can come off pretty... dismissive to other people's baggage

and it's not because he doesn't care. it's because he doesn't know how to show that. there's no instruction manual on "handling your friends' mental breakdowns" so wtf can a guy do ??? leo is so used to utilizing humor as his defense mechanism and his coping device, that he oftentimes uses it for others too... whiiiich then comes off as wildly inappropriate and rude (at the absolute minimum)

(he's literally just -breakdances softly- what's wrong babe?)

it's excruciating to write sometimes since i'm just eternally cringing on my end like leo you can't JOKE ABOUT THAT??? but he's a disaster and even i have no control over what comes out of his mouth – sorry, folks. the good news is that he does get better with more exposure to people and more friendships, but uhmmm... yeah socially inept folks rise up???

#(headcanon) #basically whenever your muse is suffering and leo is doing horribly at dealing with it ? #i promise i'm in so much physical pain on my end #i want to grab him and punt him out the window and go comfort your muse MYSELF-- #but he's also a teenager so idk what we can expect from him u-u; #he's trying... sort of :|c #and we support dEVELOPMENT in this house and support him gradually getting better at it! #you can't “that's rough buddy” your way out of every conversation leo #that's not how thIS WORKS

[bitchfitch]

a lot of the comments on that stained glass post are really funny because they assume the horse was like, a serious attempt and not me going "ok I've never used these tools before, I'm going in with no plan and just fucking up half sqft of glass while i learn how the cutter and pliers work" and then assembling the resulting shards into something vaguely resembling a horse to get the rest of the process down in my pre research fuck around and find out phase of learning a new skill.

Also the soldering looks like shit because the articles i found in the 20 minutes i was buying the stuff to start all said "flux makes the soldering better" in really vague terms without actually like, explaining that it lowers the flow point of the solder and makes the copper foil more receptive to it. so i assumed it wasn't necessary and was just used for vague betterness reasons and didn't buy any until a few days later when I started properly researching how to do things and found out it's actual job and that it's absolutely vital to the process.

So the solder isn't actually fully bound to the tape on the horse and is just like, melted overtop it following the lines of the tape. there's a distinct oval shape where the sides of the bead are up and off the tape instead of the domed shape it's actually supposed to be.

I also hadn't bought a grinder at that point bc I'm cheap and wanted to find one lightly used on ebay and also i wanted to wait for my pay check so I'd have a Little extra wiggle room with the whole shebang before i dropped 70 bucks on a tool i might not enjoy using too much.

which is to say, the whale is the first actual attempt and not the horse.

#tbh the just fuck around and find out phaze is something more people should do #learn enough to bumble fuck your way through a project and then go 'this is shit how do i do it better' #and researching each element in more depth instead of sticking with the overviews. it gives you more context for everything the #teacher is saying #like now knowing how important flux is. #anyways dont buy stained glass flux just get the lead free stuff from the hardware store. its the same chemicals for less money #ish #the hardware store varieties arnt diluted as much because they're meant to work for plumbing and such. so they're a lot stronger #but also a lot more likely to fuck you up if you dont work in a ventilated area and let the flux sit on your skin for any length of time #im lucky i dont have any like scaring from the time i got chemical burns down the entire length of my forarm because i #rested my arm on the fluxed window while i was soldering it #like theres a noticable texture difference and ive had a massive and Bad eczema patch there ever since but no scars #my arms are hairy enough you cant see it too much though so thats nice. #bfsg

[icewindandboringhorror]

While I don't know much about it, I would probably bet there are tons of issues with the cruise industry that would make me not actually appreciate it broadly speaking - HOWEVER, I do really love a lot of the interior design of some cruise ships.. How it's almost like a miniature city crammed into one area. Multiple sections with all different aesthetic designs, a variety of shops, restaurants, activity centers, community seating areas, communal use spaces (like gyms, laundry, pools, cafeteria/buffet (which I always love anywhere)), etc. etc. but then also everyone has a little nice clean comfortable looking space of their own to retreat back to if they'd like to be alone. Maybe it's something akin to the idea of 'walkable cities', where everything you could ever want to do is kind of right there just a short walk away? I also especially love how so much stuff is stacked on top of other stuff, a layered cluster of spaces, bright open atriums, and when they're set up with little walkways down the center between a bunch of rooms so it's almost like a mini city street with apartments lining it, etc.. They often seem like they'd be SUCH a cool place to live permanently, IF only something identical was just built on solid land instead lol

#currently watching a channel on youtube where some person is reviews/tours cruise ships or something #and I'm just like wow the whole traveling part would be miserable hell and I would hate trying to get off of the stupid ship everyday #and see seomthing and make it back in time or etc. but OOOOO THE BEDROOMS! love the TINY minifrige!! eeee .. lol #perhaps just an extension of of my obsession with communal spaces. also love hospitals. nursing homes. hotels. AIRPORTS!!! #thats just how humans are meant to live for me. my ideal situation is that sot of thing like big beautiful bright communal places #but i also hate socializing i just like the idea of like. the entire communal world is in front of me but i also have my own little space t #retreat back to. youre not forced to participate. but the world is right outside your window if you WANT to go. ALSO people watching is fun #Plus i think part of what i hate most about Going Places and Doing Things is the commitment of it and traveling #especially in america where its like to get ANYWHERE it's a 3 hour drive or 15 min drive #or 20 min drive or 1 hr bus ride or blah blah. the idea of having plenty of fun little things to do that are all solidified #in ONE single complex that is also where your room is would actually encourage me to do things more because if #my health issues start flaring up or i get overwhelmed or etc. i can literally just... retreat back to my room that is a reasonably short #walk away. instead of like ''UGH now not only do i feel too bad to finish my excursion but ALSO i have a 40 min car ride ahead of me'' #etc. Not saying that even in that situation I would become Super Extravert Thing Doer like i still LOOVE a quiet lifestyle mostly alone do #ing the same 5 repetitive tasks over & over again working on specific hobbies. but just that i WOULD go out SLIGHTLY more and do Activities #if the activities were already brought to ME. like a cruise ship layout where you have your little room private space but when you feel #like it on your own terms you could venture out and go to a little cafe or a swimming pool or etc. WITHOUT even having to leave #or get in a car and travel. just walk form your room to The thing. amazing.. ground breaking.. BUT especially the layers are important. I #dont mean just 'have the same features but in a way that theyre on land' I mean LITERALLY translate the EXACT layout of the cruise ship but #on ground instead. Like I want a full community cafeteria on the middle floor of my apartment complex. there should be a pool & waterslide #on the roof. A community games room on the 4th floor. a library right under my bedroom. etc. etc. Though maybe ideally I would say #add a little extra space like most people couldn't live their entire lives in a cruise ship room layout. But maybe just have the rooms expa #nded to the average size of like a 3 bedroom apartment. and then still stack them on top of each other.. More spacious decks so people can #have some plants (but also a community garden somewhere too). ANYWAY... Idk I just always love the aesthetics. I would love to tour a cruis #ship but like NOT go on a cruise EVER lol.. but just.. SEE the space. I love interiors so much. Also makes me think of worldbuilding like. #I think cruise ships could also be good inspiration for underground stacked cities in layers. things like that. OR just actually the fant #asy world version of a cruise ship lol. Though Nanyevimi's oceans are all so treacherous that non-inland water travel is avoided as much as #possible (even if it's more tedious to travel on the land) and would rarely be done for leisure. still.. river cruises could exist.. >:3c #In Nanyevimi the oceans are akin to how Outer Space is on earth (seen as a mysterious unexplored dangerous area etc).. a cruise ship of #rich elves setting out on a Groundbreaking First Ever Ocean Cruise & it just goes Wrong like a sci-fi 'trapped in space' type thriller LOL

[zellkabellk]

After a bit more than a year living in my current (small but rly nice) apartment I FINALLY seized a moment and took out all my posters and stuff to decorate the walls... I always forget just how much adding some shit on the walls helps the place feel a lot more personal kdmfsjhmfkj

#i honestly rly like this little appartment even if it's small... #i guess next year or the one after if I'm still in it I might ask the owner if I could... buy it from her ????? #there's 90% chance she'll say no bc but hey #always shoot your shot #i just wanna live in it a bit more to see how I settle in #but so far it's been nice !! #just a tad cold in the winter sometimes but I think it'd bc the windows arent “double glass” (idk how y'all say it in english) #anyways #if I ever get to own it I have so many plans already LMAO #beary life #beary talk #also the mouse currently squatting in somehow managed to get the baits on the traps without triggering them im screaming haha #little shit #i'll order tunnel traps next week #might work better than classic old traps #and tbh if i can not kill the creature and just go yeet her by the town's river to live with the million rats there #i'll do that

[thatfaerieprincess]

Feel free to skip on past this, I’ve just gotta ramble for a minute bc i cant stop thinking about this kid from work last week. They were so much like me at that age (5-6th grade) that I didn’t know how to interact with them? I didn’t know what to say to them bc I don’t know what I needed to hear back then, what I would’ve WANTED to hear? What would I have even listened to? They were almost entirely silent and looked out at the world with a hesitant curiosity, but would pull back so fast as soon as you tried to interact w them. Little to no eye contact, face hidden in hair, always looking down, following others until they could strike off on their own and just quietly explore. Intently focusing on drawing any chance they got. We did an art project and they hunched over their piece the entire time and wouldn’t let any of us see it in progress, refusing to look up or acknowledge us if we asked to see it or to know what it was. Idk. I barely interacted w them while they were with us for those few days bc I didn’t know how? It almost hurt to try? It was like looking back into a time machine and i didn’t know how to tell them that it does get better,,, I still don’t even know if where I am is better, some days feel so unsure that I don’t think I’ve made any progress at all. But seeing that kid, idk. I’ve come pretty far. And it DOES get better. Maybe it’s not the best now, or even that great at all, but it’s better. I wish I could’ve told them but I don’t think they’d have wanted to hear it anyway

#im a rambling sam #I’m in a weird place again since getting here for this season of work #idk maybe I’ve been in a weird place all year probably #I don’t think I’m that far from where I was at that age but I know I am there’s just still so much further to go #one day I think it’ll feel easier but maybe not today #I do love working w kids but I’m considering going into horticulture instead of outdoor education bc I don’t know if I can handle this #I can #but god I don’t know #in my heart I’m still that exact kid and she’s still in there so damn anxious and unsure and needing to observe the world and everyone in it #just to get some sense of understanding of just what the fuck is going on around here #but by the time I’ve gotten a good handle on what is going on everything is already so set in place and my place is outside the system and I #I don’t know how to step into it #sorry sorry I’m still rambling I’m having a weird day I probably just haven’t eaten nearly enough in the last few days and I’m about to #start teaching on my own this week which is terrifying and I can’t stop thinking abt that damn kid I wish they stayed longer I think #we probably would’ve gotten along #but groups only come here for a couple days and then go home which is v weird after having the same kids for 3 weeks for summer camp #idk life gets better and it gets worse and sometimes u grow into the world a little more but there’s still a mute child in your ribcage #little hands pressed up against ur ribs like laying a palm against a bus window #I put my hand over my sternum as if we could press our hands together thru time #when I was that age I used to pretend to have someone around me like an imaginary friend but usually it was a book character that I liked #and I’d talk to myself in my head like having a conversation and giving myself motivation and assurances from someone else to me #and now I’m here and I still talk to myself like that but without the imagined friend as a buffer I just talk to myself in my head #now I’m the imaginary friend for the little Sam that lives in my chest #when I talk to myself I’m talking to her #I’m giving her the assurance she needed back then #the assurance I still need now #I am here for her so I am here for myself #this is getting poetically nonsensical maybe it’s time for bed