#I buy my wife this chocolate when I see it because it's not at our local store anymore. and when I do it when I'm not /that/ dissociated

[alittlebitofrainbyyourside]

Fopps was like 'why have you removed yourself from 90% of your social spaces' and I do not know how to explain that like... it's not that anyone has upset me or that like- Okay, there is an element of like 'the way I care about people is wrong and I am a terrible human being for leading everyone on' but that's like- complicated and more fleeting. 90% of it is absolutely just 'if you give me a captive audience, I will trauma dump rn.' tumblr is mostly safe rn because I frequently forget that I have the ability to make posts and not just reblog things.

#the first thing is just complicated and is about like- the way my dissociation works #at the end of the day- there is a dissociative ... piece? part? Emotional Part? whatever we want to call it. Phase of Self #That does indeed not care about anything. It does not care about you. It does not care about my wife. It does not care. #it is survival mode at it's finest. #but whenever I come out of that dissociative state it feels really gross and bad and like I've been a terrible person #even if like- its only been idk a few hours. #and like this state does not *do* anything. it's not like 'oh I yell at people and I was MEAN' it just feels... empty and blank. #I buy my wife this chocolate when I see it because it's not at our local store anymore. and when I do it when I'm not /that/ dissociated #this feels like an act of love. I feel Love and Warm and Good. I am going to make my wife happy #when I am that kind of dissociated #I still do it I still buy the chocolate but it feels cold and calculated. #I buy the chocolate because it will make my wife happy and that is what the Shell of A Person is supposed to do #but then yeah. You come out and you feel gross like you're just manipulating everyone. Like you're doing all the right things but there's n #there's no light behind the eyes. #and I recognize now that the dissociative state is protective. I recognize that I needed it because I have been through the Horrors #and that if I had to deal with having feelings about things all the time- I wouldn't have made it #and that when I flick back into it- it's probably like... because I've been triggered or some shit and am having too many feelings so #actually we're gonna have none. because that's how you survive #but yeah it creates this really frustrating pattern in my life where like- it's not even *that* state that withdraws from people #it's the one after. Where I have all the feelings about everything and I'm scared I've tricked people! #I've made people think I'm nice and caring and kind when AHAH actually I'm a robot who has only been programmed for kindness #this probably counts as trauma dumping. I'm doing the exact thing I do not want to do rn. #*squints* bah bahbah bah bah bahbahbah

[elliespassagerprincess]

Headcannons: Milf!abby anderson x reader (part 3)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

☆ Milf Abby who’s literally the sweetest girlfriend ever. A little old school, but she’s still cute.

☆ Milf Abby who buys you weekly flowers, and who packs you lunch.

☆ Milf Abby who helps you plan lessons and sometimes comes and helps you teach.

☆ Milf Abby who gets baby fever if she sees you with kids.

☆ Milf Abby who said I love you after 3 days of dating.

☆ Milf Abby who has you as her lock screen.

☆ Milf Abby who plans family dates for you and her daughter.

☆ Milf Abby whose heart clenches when she sees how much Aubrey talks about you.

☆ Milf Abby who feels like a teenager because of you.

☆ Milf Abby that’s confused when you text her slang

Abby: ill come pick you up later?

you: yeah baby, I have to go now ttyl

Abby: what is that

☆ Milf Abby who finds pop culture drama interesting because she’s never really took interest in it till you appeared.

☆ Milf Abby who discovers so much and she feels old, but you never judge or make fun of her for it.

☆ Milf Abby who knows you’re the one.

☆ Milf Abby bought you an engagement ring after 2 weeks of dating. It was a simple ring because she knew you didn’t like big and extravagant things (unless it’s her dick-)

☆ Milf Abby who wants to propose to you at a family BBQ

☆ Milf Abby who takes you to meet her family after 4 months of dating, and she knew that this was the weekend she was going to propose.

☆ Milf Abby who held your hand the entire time, when you were being introduced.

☆ Milf Abby who tried staying by your side, but then you snatched away by Aubrey and her cousins.

☆ Milf Abby who stared at you with a smile as you were playing with the kids because you were just that pretty.

☆ Milf Abby who gets cocky when her family tells her she made the right choice.

“You got yourself a pretty girl abs”

“I know”

☆ Milf Abby who was having a good night till her ex-wife showed up.

“What are you doing here?” Abby asked through gritted teeth.

“it’s a family event, can I not be here?”

“you aren’t family”

“Abby she barley sees her mother:

“did you forget we have a child together?”

☆ Milf Abby who wanted to leave but you convinced her to stay for the sake of Aubrey.

“but she’s a bitch”

Aubrey grabbed onto your hand and she ran to her mother. You watched the women’s face drop at the sight of you

“Abby please”

☆ Milf Abby who wanted to slap her ex-wife every time she gave you a dirty look.

“mom this mommy’s girlfriend! isn’t she pretty?!”

The women stared at you with hatred in her eyes. She extended her hand out to grab your other hand in a tight handshake “I’m Kimberly” then you told her your name. The two of you fell into a awkward conversation, until she brought up Abby.

“how long have you been together?” she asked

“4 months” you replied with a smile.

“isn’t it too early to be meeting the family?” she asked, and you rolled your eyes before you responding: “isn’t it too bitchy to judge what I do in my relationship?”

Kimberly stared at you with wide eyes.

☆ Milf Abby who was listening to the whole interaction and she had the biggest smile on her face. That her girl.

☆ Milf Abby who was glued by your side the entire night, but you somehow got lost.

☆ Milf Abby who saw Kimberly walk up to her and she knew this wasn’t going to end well.

“What do you want?” Abby groaned.

“Look I need to say something”

“then talk”

The women took a deep breath before she started spewing nonsense: “I think she’s too young for you! She’s childish”

“that’s your opinion, you know nothing about her”

“well I don’t like her” Kimberly went on.

“that’s ok, but she’s my girlfriend so I don’t know why its bothering you”

“I don’t want her around Aubrey”

that was Abby’s final straw.

“Listen here, you’re barley present in our daughters life. She’s been a better mother to her that you, ever were! You know shit about Aubrey”

“I do” she tried arguing.

“if you did you would’ve know she doesn’t like the nutty chocolate you brought for her”

Kimberly went quiet. Abby continued on to talk.

“You are a shit person. You were a shitty wife, and a shitty mother. My daughter doesn’t deserve that. She needs someone like her. She’s my everything and I would fucking kill for her, so I suggest you stay out of my family’s life”

“but she’s still my daughter”

“she might be but I have full custody” Abby chuckled. “And besides not everyone was made to be a mother, especially you” Kimberly stood there quietly, and she left the party soon after.

☆ Milf Abby who was relieved that she was finally gone.

☆ Milf Abby whose family knew about the proposal and they were helping her plan it.

As the party continued to go on you stood at the table, helping Abby’s aunts with making salads. It was odd, everything became more and more quiet.

You felt arms wrap around you and you knew it was her.

“Hi” you giggled

“hi” she replied. You could practically hear her smile.

“You having fun baby?” Abby asked.

“yeah”

You noticed her sudden silence before you asked: “are you ok?”

Abby took a deep breath. She was nervous. You could tell.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking”

“about?”

“I want this”

“Salad?”

“no” she chuckled. 

“A life with you”

Your heartrate increased.

“I want us to grow old together and throw family BBQ’s. I want us to have a big house, so Aubrey can bring her kids over one day. I want to spend forever waking up next to you, and I want to grow our family….”

During her speech you didn’t notice that she let go of you. You were too busy processing her words at that moment.

“Baby look at me” Abby spoke. You slowly turned around to see Abby’s family surrounding the two of you and her on her one knee, with a delicate ring in her hand.

“Will you marry me?” She asked unsure.

You looked at her with wide eyes, no words were coming out out.

“Say yes! please I can’t wait any longer” Aubrey yelled from the sidelines. You saw Abby chuckle.

You fell down onto your knees before you grabbed her face for a kiss.

“I guess that’s a yes” Abby chuckled when she pulled away.

“fuck yes”

She slipped the ring onto your finger before she got up and yelled “she said yes!” The crowd erupted in screams and cries.

☆ Milf Abby who kissed you passionately as tears flowed from both your eyes.

This was true love.

my pookie: (the tag list): @elliens4

#abby tlou #abby #abby anderson #abby anderson angst #abby anderson drabble #abby anderson fanfic #abby anderson fanfiction #abby anderson fic #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson headcanons #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson x f!reader #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson x you #abby the last of us #abby tlou2 #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader #abby x y/n #abby x you #muscle mommy abby #tlou abby #tlou art

[iseebeautyinwords]

dating the ri’s | shuri udaku, riri williams , shuriri

summery : just some shuriri hc’s!

taglist : @pinkwright @inmyheadimobsessed @zayswriting @quintessencewrites comment to be added :)

shuri udaku : ☆

you guys are dating before you even know it

she loves parading you around as her girl

matches with you subtly, like with nails, outfit colors stuff like that

i alr said this but imma say it again SHE BITES

like for no good reason shell wake you up by biting your nose. you kissing and all of the sudden shes biting your lip.

she thinks she’s sooo funny when she annoys you

loves spoiling you and loves being spoiled too

def uses pet names like “my girl” “mama” “pretty girl” “princess”

if she’s on the phone or doing anything she’ll be like “nope im busy, im gonna hang out with my wife”

she has a separate calendar for any special dates you two have

speaking of dates SHE LOVESS stay at home dates where you guys can just enjoy each other

loves being called “panther” “pretty”

she knows shes in trouble when you call her by her last name so everytime you do

“Udaku.” shuri immediately stopped whatever it was she was doing. you only called her by her last name when she was in trouble. she turned around to see you standing at the door of your shared bedroom. you where holding an empty chocolate wrapper and shuri knew she was doomed. “care to explain why this was in your drawer” she knew it was your chocolate, and you did not play with your chocolate. “baby- i can explain. it was griot!” immediately the AI came to its own defence. “panther i can not consume solids, and if i could i would be lactose intolerant” you looked back at her with a look of disbelief “blaming poor griot, do you have no shame udaku? put your shoes on you’re going to get me some more.” she didn’t bother to argue that it was almost midnight”

“happy wife, happy life i guess”

riri williams : ☆ ☆

riri did not waste a second to make you hers

like she was ON IT, “you feelin me right? ight so we locked in”

shes a huge sneaker head to ofcourse she put you on game

loves being pampered even though she tries to put a tough front abt it

riri will let you pick her outfits so you guys can match

lets you do her lashes and play in her hair

This girl is tenderheaded as FUCKK so everytime you do anything she starts wailing like you stabbed her.

calls you “ma” “mami” “pookie” and has you saved on her phone as “baby mama #2” just to piss you off ( theres not even a baby mama #1 )

she got you guys a build a bear toy and acts like its your child, buying fits for it and shoes

“you neglected our CHILD y/n,” “Im sorry i put him in jordans when we are wearing dunks today”

loves when you call her princess, because she deserves TOP princess treatment

made a shirt that says “i <3 my girl” and wears it ALL THE TIME.

“riri williams, get that shirt off your body and put on something proper.” you two where getting ready to go out on a cute little arcade date, and since only one of you is sane and normal, riri took it to herself to wear one of her goofy “i heart bae” shirts with your face plastered on the front. “This is proper ma, i cant show you off?” she draped her arms around your waist. “you wore it last time, niggas are gonna think i’m holding you captive.” she chuckled and gave you a quick peck. “Let them think that then, im happy with my fit. I’ll see you in the car!” she quickly ran out laughing before you could respond. “This girl is gonna be the death of me.”

shuriri : ☆ ☆ ☆

getting these two together is something you often wonder “why do i do this to myselfl

they are just plain EVIL

they love to prank you and tease you everywhere you go

theres not a single dull moment

when shuri’s stealing your food riri is distracting you

and they betray each other too, riri kissing shuri while you grab her phone to spam pictures, or shuri randomly calling riri a pet name while you too are in a heated debate about your shared child so you can run away with the infant in question

they are honestly the cutest, they love spoiling you and pampering you, and you love pampering them alike

they love to cuddle and have you play with their hair

shuri makes fun of riri’s tenderhead

shuri teaches you both xhosa and you guys love it

shuri picks up on you and riri’s lingo sooo quick its too cute

sometimes you catch them staring at you just admiring you

you guys defend griot everytime shuri gets a smart mouth with the AI

you guys are always matching, sometimes on accident

“you guys wanna be like me so bad” you look up from your shoe laces and notice that both you and shuri where matching with riri, all three of you have a soft pink hoodie and black pants on with white forces. “bitch, you wanna be like US, the blueprint.” you retorted as you stood up walking over to your jewelry cabinet to put on some hoops. “You both are insane, you copied me” “actually panther you kn-“ “griot shut up.” shuri scolded the AI and both you and riri glared at her. “You do not talk to griot like that Udaku,” “Yea nigga, griot my son, you watch yo mouth talking to him”

#nix writes #shuri x reader #shuri udaku #riri wiliams x reader #riri williams #shuriri #shuriri x reader #shuri headcanon #riri headcannons

[shooting-love-arrows]

Gonna make ya some strawberry cupcakes… n’ some triple chocolate cookies… n’ also some chocolate dipped strawberries… ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

Gonna give ya a bouquet of pink roses n’ tulips…

Gonna wear the cutest little pastel dresses and suits f’ you, and m’ never ever gonna take my nice new pearls off…! ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

Gonna paint ya skin with m’ cherry red lipstick…!

And I’ll clean the house… and make us a pretty lil’ garden in the back n’ other stuff! ໒꒰ྀི˶˃ᆺ˂˶ ꒱ྀིა

Gonna be your pretty pink housewife/husband! <3~

I love slippin’ inta a 1920’s housewife/husband headspace, feels so comfy n’ warm~ And I’d love ta have a house with ya! Gonna have a white picket fence n’ everythin’!

- ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡

Dear ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡,

My dearest house husband/wife, I'm going to eat all of your wonderful food that you've baked with love. I'm going to shower you in praises and affection, because I just know how much dedication you poured into those sweets. I'll kiss your cheeks while you squirm away and complain because I have some crumbs and leftover chocolate on my lips but I'll continue doing so because my dearest [pink] rose deserves it to know just how adored they are. I'm going to take the bouquet and put it in the vase. Then I'll place it on my nightstand as a reminder of your kind heart. In return, I'll give you camellias (love, affection), heliotrope (devotion and eternal love), because I'm bad at words but the flowers will speak for me. I'll admire you whenever I can, because you're so lovely I don't know what I did to deserve you. I'm going to buy you all the clothes you can ever dream of and I'll make sure to match outfits with you. My hearts will speed up whenever I'll notice you wearing those pearls I bought you as my first gift during our marriage life. I'll remember how hard I worked to buy them but I won't regret it one bit, because I'll remember how your face brightened up and you jumped in my arms. Now, when we're better off, I am ready to buy you more jewelry, yet you always choose to wear those pearls. I'll encourage you to mark me, because those pesky coworkers of mine just don't get the hint. Your pretty red lipstick will stick out like a sore thumb but I won't care, because it's a reminder of you and love. I'll always sigh in relief when I return to our shared house. The familiar smell of your perfume and cleaning detergents will mix together nicely, creating the familiar and comforting smell of our home. Like always, everything is sparkly, clean and organized. But I'll get sad when I don't see you anywhere near. That's when I know you're in the garden, planting those flower seeds I have bought you earlier this week. You wanted them in the garden for some time, yet you just couldn't get to do it. That's when I'll walk to the backyard and silently admire you planting those seeds in the soil. And I'll know: I'm falling in love with you all over again. P.S I hope I didn't go overboard with my monologue, my dearest house husband/wife. I just melted when I read what you wrote to me. Of course, the house will be taken right out of your dreams. You're free to decorate it however you want <3 P.S.S Whatever makes you feel comfortable, my darling [pink] rose. Your accent is endearing. P.S.S.S I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable...Please let me know.

@shooting-love-arrows

#s.l.arrows answers <3 #໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡ anon <3

[spaceman-earthgirl]

Supercorptober 2022 Day 12: Evening

The lovely @sheltereredturtle and I decided to collaborate on this prompt so she drew this wonderful piece of art and I wrote a fic based on it.

ao3 fic link. series link.

Lena keeps glancing at her phone, not that Kara blames her, she’s nervous too.

“Darling, it’s going to be fine,” Kara says, reaching across the table to lay her hand over Lena’s, where it was halfway to checking her phone again.

“But-“

“You know Alex will call if she needs anything,” Kara cuts in.

Lena sighs. “I’m sorry, I know.” She flips her hand under Kara’s, tangles their fingers together. “No more worrying, okay?”

They both know that Alex has got everything under control, and it’s not like they don’t know how Alex is doing, she’s sending them updates every half an hour. The last update was that Alex was about to give Lizzie a bath, and the update before was a photo of their daughter, covered in food, clearly enjoying dinner.

Kara smiles. “No more worrying, let’s just enjoy the fact that there’s no crying baby that needs our attention.”

Kara loves their daughter more than anything, but it is nice to have a night out where they can relax, and not have to worry about anything.

Or worry too much, that is.

---

“Do you want to go and get ice-cream?”

“We’ve just had dessert, and you want ice-cream?” Kara asks.

And it wasn’t just any dessert, they’d had dinner at Kara’s favourite diner because they both wanted a low-key night, so they’d had burgers for dinner, followed by the biggest chocolate sundae you can get in the city (Kara knows, she’s checked).

“Are you, Kara Danvers-Luthor, questioning getting ice-cream?” Lena reaches out, lays the back of her hand against Kara’s forehead. “Are you okay?”

Kara swats the hand away, but catches it before it can fall, threading her fingers through Lena’s.

“I’m not saying I don’t want ice-cream, I just thought you’d want to get home to see Lizzie.”

“I do. But this is our first evening out since she was born, and I’m enjoying spending the alone time with my wife.”

Kara lifts their joined hands, presses a kiss to the back of Lena’s. “I’m not going to argue with that.”

Lena gets strawberry, which Kara doesn’t understand, why would you get a fruit-flavoured ice cream when chocolate is right there?

Which is why, when Kara asks for a taste of Lena’s, Lena looks confused. But she says yes, because she can never say no to Kara.

Lena holds out her ice cream, but Kara bypasses it completely, instead, leaning over to press her mouth to Lena’s.

Lena laughs into the kiss, she tastes like strawberry and she’s warm and it’s perfect.

“I’m still not a fan of strawberry but I am a fan of this,” Kara says, going in for another quick kiss.

Or it was meant to be quick, but then Lena leans close and Kara is hopeless to do anything but kiss her back.

“If you drop your ice cream, I’m not buying you another,” Lena mumbles into the kiss, and it’s enough to get Kara to finally pull away, only because her ice cream really is good.

By the time they make their way to the waterfront, their ice creams are gone and Alex has sent them a text saying she’s going to bed but they should stay out as late as they want.

“Can we walk home?” Lena asks. “I know we’re too old and have to be up too early tomorrow to stay out that late but I’m still not quite ready for tonight to end just yet.”

They’re quite far from home and Kara’s sure she’ll end up carrying Lena on her back if they do walk home, because she’ll be tired, but Kara’s still not going to say no to that.

Lena looks gorgeous, illuminated by the street lights as they walk, and it really has been too long since the two of them have had a date night. Kara is going to make sure they have nights like this more often, she knows her sister won’t mind babysitting and Kara really does miss just spending time with her wife.

“What are you looking at?”

Evidentially, Lena’s noticed the staring.

“You. You’re beautiful.”

Lena blushes under the compliment and it only makes Kara smile more.

“And you’re still a flirt.”

Kara tugs Lena to a stop by their still joined hands. “When I have the most beautiful wife in the world, how can you expect me not to stare?”

Lena doesn’t answer, instead she just tugs Kara forward and kisses her. This time, Lena doesn’t taste like strawberries, but there’s no ice cream in their hands restricting them so Kara pulls Lena close by her waist instead.

It’s the perfect end to a perfect night and Kara is already planning the next date night, but next time she’ll buy Lena flowers and take her to a nice restaurant and spoil her, like she deserves.

(Kara does have to piggyback Lena the last few blocks to their apartment. And then she carries her on the elevator and up to their apartment too, just because Lena keeps giggling in her ear and Kara doesn’t want it to end.

They both sneak into their daughter’s bedroom when they get home just to see her and say goodnight. Kara wraps her arms around Lena’s waist and rests her chin on Lena’s shoulder as they watch their daughter sleep.

Kara’s never been happier).

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp fanfic #supercorptober2022

[jadiya]

Woman chubby size of the brothers sano

The brothers sano returned from a very long day of work, he had only one desire it was to find their wife he had not warned him that he would return rather as a kind of surprise izana He even got you a bouquet of flowers and chocolates to make up for not being around the house much lately But they were surprised that you didn't come running to greet them

Mikey: My darling WHERE ARE YOU

While your youngest husband started screaming, hoping to find you, and fearing the worst, his brother izana saw an exploded mirror and blood stains by reflex, he pulled out his gun and his younger brother also did so by the same occasion

Izana: if one of those bastards dares to touch a single hair I'll break their jaws and make maracas out of them

They both moved to your conjugal room

You were literally lying on the floor blood around you and bits of glass scattered on the floor, he put away their weapons.He approached you as quickly as possible.

Mikey: Who did this to you?

: no one

They both looked at each other, and tried to understand the situation without really understanding

Izana: explain to me y/n you did it yourself but for what reason

You didn't want to tell them in their eyes You could very well understand that once it was all over Carnage would happen, and that's not what you wanted

Mikey grabbed you by the chin and looked into your dark eyes "if you don't tell me, I'll know, but you better tell me".

You started to cry without him understanding once again he took you in their arms to try to comfort you, even if expressing their emotions, but you are not their greatest quality

Izana: just give us a name and their suffering will be equal to yours

Out of desperation, you then began to explain what had happened to you

You had seen a bag in this high fashion store some time ago but every time you wanted to buy it, some saleswoman told you that it was already booked and today I had decided to go back to this store to see if they were, but the saleswomen

all look at you with disgust when you had just set foot in the store one of them approached you, and then how it talk to you

"Madam, it seems to me that you are in the wrong store here. We are at ****** and we don't do sizes. for people like you"

"Oh yes, I understand, but I'm just looking for a bag.

"please, don't make things more complicated than they already are, just go away and get in the way of our customers and the passage"

You lowered the eyes it was necessary that you succeeded in holding back its tears so that this bitch remade in plastic but not the pleasure to go to boast to its colleagues to be made you part you raised the head and you smile

It's something you hate doing having to confront people like that, but if you don't do it, no one will, and other girls who don't have an answer will be humiliated by this bitch

"I hate people like you think you are superior because men are interested in you feel superior when you pass by me and in your eyes I can see the disgust you feel but it is a pleasure at the bottom because people like you, spend their time to humiliate others because they have no life and they will never have one" you paused so that she could answer

She laughed, "I don't think the little fat girl understood, this store is not for people like you, you better just go to a gym or phone a good surgeon, so get out of here before I call security, Piggy the fat girl badly fucked by the company ".

After you explained it to them you tried to look him straight in the eye but it was literally impossible, they had bruised eyes

And then, silence took its place until izana started to carry you like a princess and put you gently on the bed

Izana: y/n know one thing, or his clients will regret their bad words and their look towards you because nobody in this world, Has the right to make you cry the only people who have the right is me and idiot Next to me

Mikey: For now let's not think about it. Let's start by disinfecting your hands, they are full of blood.

They have never been very attentive but let's say that for today they made an exception izana Disinfect you please while mikey make some phone calls to bonten executives

Izana didn't let you out of his sight, he started laughing

: What's the matter?

Izana: I just realized that the stretch marks you have on your belly form like several small waves and it's strangely very beautiful says it before starting to touch your belly

You laughed, which was not his style, but it's the kind of thing that comforts

His hand went down to your thighs

Izana: if one day I have to die, I want your thighs to cause my death

: IZANA YOU ARE NOT GOING TO START AGAIN WITH THAT

Mikey: what's wrong with you two now?

Izana: Well, our wife refuses to kill me with her thighs

: Mikey please tell her that dying smothered in my thighs is not an option

Mikey: why wouldn't it be an option Personally, if my death has to be caused, I would much rather die in your breasts

: but you see that's your problem you may hate each other deep down, you're the same

Izana : then certainly not the only thing that we have in common, it is that our woman is the most beautiful And She has a divine body but since she is completely stupid She prefers to listen to barbies, all in plastic, instead of listening to us

Mikey: that's my favorite thing about this jerk he says as he walks up to the two of you, giving you a hug

______________________________________

A few hours later, it was dark in the streets of Japan and the two brothers sano walk towards a very precise direction

Mikey: sanzu managed to find the address of this bitch

Izana: well let's go they will regret to have hurt y/n

#bonten x reader #x reader chubby size #mikey x reader x izana #izana x reader #tokyo revengers #bonten

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Nine

I huddle behind the till with Petra on the last Friday before Christmas, watching as she tallies up the till for the final time before the new year. 

“Okay, so we sold five of these, three of those, and the last eight of those ones… and I’ll have to check the books again but I think I sent twelve to the post office today.” I glance over her shoulder at the long receipt that’s been spit out of the till to confirm. “So that’s almost all of them sold?”

She glances over to the card rack on the wall nearby. “Everything except for, I think, four?”

“Wow.” I say. “I can’t believe people actually wanted them.”

“Oh for goodness sake!” She grins. “Of course they did, you did a beautiful job on those cards. You should be very proud.”

I blush. “I actually am.”

Petra empties the last of the till coins into a plastic bag and locks it into the safe for the bank. “Well you can enjoy the money, my dear, and enjoy your christmas. Have you planned to do anything nice?”

“The usual. I’ll just go to my granny’s house and we’ll have dinner with my aunts and uncles and cousins. We just found out that my uncle’s wife is pregnant again, so that’s something to chat about at the dinner table.”

“Sounds lovely.” She muses, and I suppress a grimace as I zip up my coat. “Yeah, well, have a safe flight home to Spain. I hope you have better weather than we do here.”

“Me too.” She says. “Happy New Year, since I won’t see you before then.” I smile and let myself out onto the dark of the early evening street as the jaunty little bell jingles in the door behind me. 

Luke, who owns the coffee shop across the street, is closing his shutters too, and gives me a quick wave and a “merry Christmas, Evie.” as he covers up the window art I did for him a few weeks ago. He liked what I’d done for Mezzotint so much that he asked me to do one for him too. I went out on a limb and asked him for one hundred euros for it, and he paid it without batting an eyelid. All of that money has gone towards Christmas presents, as for the first time in years I’ve been able to afford them. I hop on the Luas and ride it towards the centre of town. It’s jammed with commuters in big coats, the windows fogged up and dripping with condensation. The lights outside blur together through the fog. 

I get off at Jervis Street onto pavement that’s still wet with the rain from earlier and wander up towards Henry street, where I buy a hot chocolate from the crepe and coffee kiosk that’s still open, just because I want one, and then head towards Arnotts where I walk around looking at fancy things that I cannot afford for half an hour, just for the sake of doing it. There are discounted Christmas decorations in one section, and I’m drawn to a pair of pink feathered ones with silver beads laced along the ribbons. On sale, they are ten euros each but I buy both of them anyway, because Claire would love them. 

On the way out I go to the perfume section and spray Tom Ford on myself. The shop assistant smiles at me like she thinks I might want to buy it, but I avoid eye contact. I will never own perfume like this. I bring my wrists to my nose and inhale the complicated aroma as I head back onto the maniacal December crowds, imagining for a moment how satisfying it must feel to smell like two hundred euro perfume every day, to know that you can throw money at something frivolous, just because you like the smell of it. 

When I arrive home, Claire is in her pyjamas and eating a bowl of plain pasta on the couch. She grins at me as I come in and asks me if I want to binge some Christmas films. It feels like a perfect way to spend our last night of the year together before we go back to Tullamore tomorrow. I go upstairs and put on something comfortable. I don’t really have pyjamas in the way that Claire does. Hers are always matching, satin with lace trims, flannel with pockets and buttons down the front, but I don’t have anything like that. Perhaps it says something about my personality. I grab an ancient vest and a pair of jersey shorts and head down to the couch, stashing the wrapped feathered baubles into my half-packed suitcase to give to her tomorrow. 

First we watch Miracle on 34th street, because we watch that every year, and then inevitably we put on Love Actually, just to scream about how much we hate every single character except for Sam, and we drink more hot chocolate and eat sweets from a tub until I feel sick. As the credits roll I glance over to her to see a glazed expression on the face. She’s gazing through the window at nothing. Blackness, the sky clouded over leaving no space for the stars to peek through them.

“Are you alright?”

“Mm. Yes.”

I shift in my seat. “I’ve been meaning to ask how things have been with Shane, you know, like, with his college work and the football and all that.”

“Oh, it’s fine. The usual. I don’t think we’ve made any progress, to be honest.”

“And his Christmas exams?”

“I don’t have a clue. He barely studied for them so he’s probably failed them, for all I know.”

“Oh.”

She looks at me then, brows furrowed and voice defensive. “I love him, you know. I still love him. I won’t like, break up with him or anything.”

“I didn’t think you would.”

“Things will get better. All couples go through this kind of thing. It’s what happens when you’ve been together for three years, things just feel a bit less perfect than they used to, and you have to make compromises. Really though, I love him. I’d do anything for him.”

I wonder if it’s only my projection that she sounds a bit like she’s trying to convince herself of those things, not me. “I’m sure the exams went fine.” I say, even though I’m not sure. On every run and every gym session I’ve been to with Shane in the last few months he hasn’t mentioned college once. His twenty-five-grams-of-protein yoghurts and his various friends who injured themselves in various ways from using the machines wrong (like me), he’s mentioned plenty of times, but unless I knew for a fact that he was in college, I’d assume he didn’t go. 

Claire is frustrated. “I wish he’d just get it together. That’s all. I’m sick of feeling like I’m nagging him, but it really just feels like common sense… oh!” her phone springs to life on the table in front of us, vibrating loudly against the wood. “I bet this is him now, speak of the devil.” She flips it over in her hand and her brows knit together with confusion. “Oh, it isn’t.”

“Who is it?”

“Um. It’s Jude.” She brings it slowly to her ear, as though it might bite her. “…hello?”

It’s quiet enough in the room to hear his side of the conversation. “Hey. Hey Claire. I’m so sorry to call you. Are you with Shane at the moment?”

Her face screws up. “No. I amn’t, I’m at home with Evie.”

“Ah, right. Do you know if he’s around? I tried to call him a few times and there was no answer.”

“He’s in Tullamore. He’s gone home for Christmas already, he had training at the pitch at seven, sorry.” She glances at the clock in the kitchen. “It’s also almost midnight. I imagine he’s asleep by now.”

“Right, okay. That’s fine… uh. Sorry to call you, I better-”

“Is everything alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s nothing, I’m just home in Dublin for the next week. I misplaced my house keys, I was hoping to crash at his.” A pause. “And also like, maybe because he has a car I was thinking he might be able to drive me to A&E.”

“What?” I exclaim. Claire’s eyes are wide. She doesn’t know what to do. I take the phone. “Jude.” I say. “It’s Evie.”

“Hi Evie, how’s it going?”

“What happened?”

“No, no, no, nothing big, it’s not a big deal, I just might need a couple of stitches.”

“Stitches where?”

“My-” He breaks away and sucks air through his teeth, muttering “Jesus, fuck” under his breath. “- my eyebrow. It’s fine. It can wait, I can just get a taxi back to Clontarf and get my parents to let me in. Hopefully they’re still awake.” He sounds doubtful. “Sorry to disturb you, seriously. I’ll work it out.”

“For God’s sake.” Claire grabs the phone again. “Come here. We can’t drive you to the hospital but we can clean you up. I at least have a first aid kit. Where are you?”

“The docks.”

“You’re only a few minutes away. Can you walk to us?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.” She gives him our address and they hang up, then she sits there in disbelief, shaking her head. “Bloody men.” She says. “I’m exhausted.” She gets up and heads towards the stairs. 

“Where are you going?” I ask her. 

“To put on a bra.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky girl part 3

[hanakihan]

my biggest headaches in work life so far (NSFW in a sense of: gross stuff, kidnapping, murder, dismemberment, r*pe, scamming, you get the idea)

- 4 men from different country kidnapping other man from different country on territory of our country and keeping him hostage for 2 days and then pretending they’re victims here because he supposedly scammed them with false registration papers.

- two ex-prisoners meeting around new year for drinks, one calls other a ‘cock’ (aka really insulting thing for those who went to prison, means you’re at bottom (in every sense) of prison hierarchy), so he stabs him in heart and throws his body on balcony where it stays freezing for 2 weeks. Then he takes a saw and dismember him, was able to drag hands and legs on ground floor but was caught by police when dragged wrapped up torso.

- a man breaking other person’s skull open with a brick just because he wanted to see real brain. he saw, then vomited and lost consciousness.

- a drug addict who was caught on scene, had an insane drawback when we were arresting him in court, almost broke my arm and stabbed me with a pen.

- a man coming to court completely wasted and explaining himself by ‘you see your honor, I’m an artist, an artists are either drunkards or gays…’

- Santa Barbara in a form of a married couple having weird ass r*pe(???) because he did force her to some gross shit and she told about it her mom and her mom told to grandma who informed cops but now she asks not to sent him to prison because apparently it was consensual???

- son hitting his mother so bad she almost died so she went to police to write a report on him thinking he’ll be sent to serve 15 days by administrating law, but ended up serving 7 years for attempted murder. she broke down in tears and begged not to jail him.

- my neighborhood growing hallucinogenic mushrooms because he’s ‘an artist and needed a psychological stimulation’ and apparently he had twenty jars full of dried mushrooms and when asked why so many for himself he told ‘it’s winter investment’

- delusional woman blaming delusional man who said he wanted to have children with her. she’s 50, man is 23 and he was terrified of her.

- judge leaving court room for final verdict and defendant pulled out a razor from his mouth and threatened to cut his throat open. police and jailers weren’t able to calm him down, it was 9 at evening, I wanted to go home so I yelled at him to behave because it would’ve been a pain in ass to explain to boss why defendant suicided here. two floors heard me yelling. I had a bottle of champagne after that.

- two men arguing outside of our court room who fucked which wife until I came out and told them that police will fuck them both if they won’t shut the fuck up.

- convicted underage children rapist complimenting me and being disgustingly sweet simply because I look like I’m 16 even though I’m 23 when I enter his jail cell.

- a woman almost stabbing a man to death after he spotted her throwing his food out of fridge to street from window. it all started because of sausages and he himself almost became one.

- a woman being blamed for stabbing her roommate even if said roommate constantly beaten her so badly she resembled a fucking panda and she stabbed him out of stress. everyone was confused while hearing who was who.

- ex prisoner visiting us after he served his sentence, gifting is nice chocolate and a champagne (it’s still in my closet tho) and then smooching my cheek.

- me getting almost stabbed by romani’s mother (whom we jailed) but blocking it by crime law codex (jinchul was right book IS a weapon, both offensive and defensive). me then yelling at her that I’m 1/4 romani too for fucks sake.

- a drunk step father hitting boys’ drunk mother so hard she lost consciousness, he wanted to drag her to bed so he did it by dragging her by hair and having her head hit every corner, ended up giving up on his idea and went to buy more alcohol. returned home to find her cold dead body and two boys an orphans who we ended up to make testify.

- Genshin case. just Genshin case. Man took bank debt through his friend’s card, ended up rolling on Dehya banner to C6 her. Cringe levels were over9000.

#my daily suffering #welcome to my work space #I Hope you find it (un)comfortable #I’m living in Ace Attorney but it’s that one time it was rated M #feel free to ask me about this #*slaps myself* man I contain so much TRAUMA in me

[bowiebond]

MTF Billy Hargrove | Buckgrove/Robilly

“God, why is my future girlfriend, like, the prettiest girl ever?” Robin sighed dreamily as she watched Billie scan the aisles with Max, pushing her wheelchair along as she complained about the movie options her older sister was giving her. “It’s like…seriously not good for my heart, Steve.”

“I mean, I didn’t think she’d be your type, but sure. Billie’s pretty, I guess.” Steve shrugged as he flipped through the rentals. “I swear— the guy who rented Critter a month ago? Still late. I’m gonna write him a very strongly worded letter if he doesn’t come back this week.”

“Can we go back to the topic of how hot my future wife is?”

“Hot? We were talking about how pretty your delusional crush is. Hot is different.”

“It’s not delusional! It’s very possible!” Robin squawked. “And who cares, she’s both.”

“Hot means you wanna fuck her. Pretty means you wanna wrap her in your jacket and take her home for snuggles and hot cocoa.” Steve simplified and Robin frowned.

“Why can’t I have both? Wrap her in my jacket, take her home, snuggle her with some hot coca and then when it’s all gone I can—“

“No—“

“Sneak under the blanket and—“

“Robin, stop!”

“Touch her—“

“Ew!”

“Boobies!” Robin made grabby hands and Steve snorted.

“Boobies.”

“Boobies.” Robin smiled, finally getting it. “Billie likes boobies. Maybe. I think so.”

“Billie was a huge ladies man so—“

“Not a man!”

“Okay, not a man now, but she acted like one in the past!” Steve put his hands up in surrender. “She was a lady killer, okay?”

“Better.” Robin huffed out through her nose, turning back to rest her chin on her palm. “But what if she was like- double closeted? Like, what if when she realised she was a girl, she also realised she wants all the stuff normal girls want like…guys.”

“Don’t say it like you’re not normal. I mean, you’re weird and loud and annoying, all traits I find very loveable about you as my best friend, but you’re not abnormal cause you like girls, Robin.”

“I know that.” She grumbled softly, slightly touched regardless. Billie laughed at something Max said and Robin broke into a small, dopey smile. “She’s perfect.”

“She gave me a concussion once.”

“That’s hot.”

“Dude!”

“Dude.” Robin repeated slower, making steady eye contact. Steve matched it and eventually pursed his lips and nodded.

“It’s hot.”

“So hot.”

“She kicked my ass.” Steve sighed.

“So very hot.” Robin bit her lip as Billie bent down to grab a VHS off the bottom shelf, her tight jeans stretching over her ass. Robin turned to Steve to point it out only to see him already watching with appraisal. Robin smacked him hard in the arm.

“Ow!”

“Stop acting so gross to the love of my life!”

“She’s got a nice butt.” Steve spoke around a small pout, looking away.

“My butt. Eyes off.”

“I think I preferred when you were into Vickie.”

“Vickie is still finding herself and needed the space. We will always be friends, but we just aren’t compatible for a relationship right now.”

“But in future?” Robin turned to Steve with a serious expression.

“I marry Billie and we buy three cats named Marshmallow, Chocolate and Cracker. We call them the S’mores instead of our cats or kids. Also, we get a house together, something cozy but with enough room for two to four guests at a time. The kitchen is teal and the lounge room is red. We’re nicknamed the Christmas house because of it. Our neighbours love us for our classic wit and humour, but we have one neighbour who hates us because we go at it during his reading hour and lesbian sex goes a long time, hours in fact, so he’s not getting anything finished and we do not care because female pleasure will not be ignored. Also, we have motorcycle. She would rock it and I would drool as her passenger but never ride it because I’m a gay who can’t drive to save my life.”

“…You’ve really been thinking about this, huh?” Steve crossed his arms, looking her over as Robin nodded solemnly.

“Night and day since I saw her in that white summer dress a week after she got out of the hospital.”

“Well…What do you think, Billie? Sound fun? The S’mores is my favourite part.” Steve smirked as he picked up the returns and walked off. Robin’s eyes widened comically as she slowly turned around to face the blonde who looked just as startled as her.

“Um…I like the part with the motorcycle. And, I like red. More into blue than teal. I can compromise though.” She rubbed the back of her neck with a shy, playful smile and Robin’s face burned.

“Mm. Mhm. That’s— b-blues nice. You look…good in blue. R-really good. I love you - in blue! I mean. Yeah. A- a motorcycle sounds…awesome.” She breathed the last word with a nervous laugh, sinking into herself. She wished the floor would crack open again and swallow her up this time around.

“Thank you?” Billie let out a soft laugh, seemingly caught off guard by Robin’s anxious rambling. She placed the two movies down on the counter, one Max’s choice and another Billie’s. Robin started scanning them.

Max rolled as close to the counter as she could get before clearing her throat.

“Billie hasn’t been on a real date in a long time—“

“Max!” Billie hissed, cheeks going red as her sister continued.

“And I think you should ask her on one. Since you already plan on marrying her. You have my blessing by the way; as long as you don’t hurt her heart. It’s delicate. Like a flower.”

“Oh my god, please stop talking.” Billie groaned loudly into her hands, her red ears giving away her embarrassment.

“You can count on me, little Red.” Robin saluted her and Max smirked, rolling off to round the corner and attempt to roll over Steve’s toes.

“Please ignore her. Seriously. You don’t gotta—“ Billie took her hands down from her face, lips pursed. “I don’t know if you’re straight or gay or bisexual but I don’t want to date you if you’re thinking of me as a guy—“

“I like girls.” Robin interjected quickly, maybe a tad too quickly, words coming out cluttered. “I— kiss girls. Exclusively. I like girls. I like…you. A lot. I’d like to kiss you. Eventually! Not now. We should, um, build up to that stuff, I definitely don’t have the experience to just- jump in and smoosh faces.” She laughed, abrupt and loud, and quickly stopped, humiliating herself. “Sorry, I’m being weird. I just— get nervous. Around pretty girls.”

Billie stared at her with wide eyes.

“I mean…I’m glad you think I’m pretty?” Billie broke to a wondrous smile and Robin melted a little inside.

“You’re super pretty! Pretty hot. Uh, both. I should stop talking.”

“If you stop talking, how will you ask me on a date?” Robins eyes bugged out of her head.

“You wanna— with me?” She pointed at herself in bewilderment, looking back as if there could be someone else she was asking.

“I don’t know. You haven’t asked yet.” Billie grinned and Robin grinned back, a tad shyer as she ducked her head.

“Would you…like to see a movie sometime?”

“Drive-In, home movie, or cinema?” Billie quirked a brow and Robin’s brain record scratched.

“Uh, I don’t have a car. So I’ve never seen a…Drive-In show.”

“Well now you gotta.” Billie smirked. “Lemme pick you up tomorrow, after your shift?”

“Yeah?” Robin bloomed like a flower at the invitation.

“Yeah.” Billie’s smirk dimmed into a soft smile. “I’ll wear blue. Since you like it so much.”

“You can wear any colour. I like all of them! You— you looked good. Not the colour. Um, if that makes sense.”

“It does.” Billie grinned, fishing out some cash from her wallet. She handed it over and Robin’s fingers brushed hers. The brunette almost swooned. God, she was down bad. “See you tomorrow, Buckley.”

“R-Robin’s fine. If you, uh, if you want.”

“Okay. Robin.” She purred and Robin managed to stay composed just long enough for Billy to leave her to grab Max before crouching down behind the counter and silently screaming into her hands, shaking them all about in excitement.

She had a date. A real, genuine one!

She was one step closer to making Billie Hargrove a Billie Buckley.

Score!

#billy hargrove #Robin buckley #mtf billy hargrove #buckgrove #robilly

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: In the game with the Demon King, what cards do you hold in your hand?

When you truly begin to practice, the war between you and the Demon King also begins its prelude. Whether you are willing or not, as long as you start to develop a little aspiration for the Way and accumulate some merits, the Demon King has actually started to target you. It should be said that this is not a fair game. As one side in the war, from the very beginning, you are in a state of complete ignorance about your opponent. The Demon King is very mysterious, he has never appeared before you, you don't know what he looks like, you don't know when he will appear, you don't know in what form he will appear, you don't know what he will do to affect you after appearing. You've only heard that there is someone called the Demon King Paluopa who takes delight in destroying others' practice, and sooner or later, he will come to destroy your practice. That's all you know about him. You imagine that he lives in the remote palace of celestial beings, and it won't be until the distant future when you are about to achieve enlightenment that he will appear, shooting you with tens of thousands of arrows like in the movies. This is a childish idea. But this is how most people perceive the Demon King.

Contrary to your understanding of him, as your opponent, the Demon King knows you very well. He knows that you like the films of Yasujiro Ozu, that you love beef balls and dark chocolate, that you like a certain type of girl, and he even knows the most subtle thoughts that flash through your mind. He understands you better than your wife does. Because he has been studying and pondering you, he knows your weaknesses, he knows which spots to press to make you suffer unbearably, he knows what to use to tempt you. For most practitioners, this is a match with no suspense, you are at a disadvantage from the very beginning. It's like you are sparring with an invisible person. He can see you, but you can't see him. He can strike at your vital points with precision, while you can only swing blindly at the air. Because you can't see him, you don't know what he looks like, what clothes he wears, you don't know in what form he will appear. The Demon King has the ability to appear at any time, in any place, in any form: he may appear as a cup of tea or a rosary; he may appear with a caring face; he may appear with the face of a Buddhist teacher. For inexperienced new practitioners, everything around you can be used by him as a weapon to attack you: teachings can be used, TikTok videos can be used, even something as trivial as how long to boil noodles can be used. In this situation, you can only be cautious, you can only endure the beating while defending, while observing and getting familiar with his tricks and methods. We have already started to practice, and once practice begins, it cannot stop. We absolutely cannot go back, and the Demon King will not stop his attacks either. On the contrary, he will keep escalating. So when you find yourself in this situation, all you can rely on are the good habits, good qualities, and good concepts you were born with - these are the cards in your hand, the weapons you can rely on and use to resist the Demon King. They are our only weapons. For a very long period after the start of practice, we can only use these innate good qualities to fight against the Demon King, to buy time, to grapple with the Demon King, to become familiar with and understand his tricks and tactics, and thereby accumulate experience for the ultimate, complete defeat of it.

Over the years, I have witnessed the values of many people, witnessed the "self" of many people, and observed the reactions of many people when facing the Demon King. From my observations, I have concluded that qualities we need to rely on, such as innate kindness, empathy, the ability to believe, and the ability for self-reflection, are mostly unable to be cultivated later in life - you either have them when you are born or you don't. Basically, it's very difficult for you to establish them later on. It's like how a good person cannot become a bad person, and a bad person cannot become a good person. Many things are carried over from previous lives, and it's almost predetermined at birth. If a person lacks these qualities, you basically cannot re-cultivate them. It's like you can't make an adult grow two more heads and four more legs.

Among all these good qualities, the ability to believe should rank first. You may think this ability is easy to have, but in fact, I have seen many people who do not possess this ability - they find it very difficult to believe others. Or rather, they have never truly believed anyone. I suppose I can understand their thinking: in their lives, no one has ever truly been good to them, no one has loved them, no one has truly cared about them. They have never seen sages, never seen true

practitioners, never even seen good people - everyone ends up becoming abhorrent in the end. They have experienced betrayal, blood and fire, and have become extremely disillusioned with human nature, so they don't believe anything. In the process of their growth, they were also influenced by wrong views, thinking themselves supremely intelligent and seeing through everything. They don't believe there are good people or sages, they are accustomed to vulgarizing everyone's motives. (For them, this is a defensive presupposition, a defensive presupposition to avoid being disappointed by others.) In their eyes, everyone is selfish, everyone is hustling for their own interests, all the beautiful and sacred things in human society are false, with sordidness and vileness hidden behind them all. There are no sacred, great people; behind every sacred, great person, everyone is selfish and calculating for their own benefit.

I can understand why they would think this way, but if you harbor such thoughts and go to practice, and establish a teacher-student relationship with someone, I'm very worried for you - I don't know how you will establish faith in your teacher. In fact, if you are the kind of person described above, you will be unable to establish faith. You can only pretend to have faith, pretend to believe the teacher. Because you will see the person who wants you to be liberated as someone who wants to take money from your pocket. From the perspective of practice, this kind of thinking will undoubtedly cut off all possibilities of your liberation. All of our practices begin with reliance on and following the teachings, and for you, reliance on and following the teachings means listening to the teacher's words and doing exactly as instructed. And the reason you will listen is because you believe that the teacher before you is truly acting for your own good, you believe that through practice he has conquered selfishness and ignorance, conquered the two habitual tendencies, and you are in awe of his wisdom, believing that he can help you end the cycle of rebirth and suffering. With these premises, you will be willing to listen, willing to begin practicing. But if you think that the person teaching you the Dharma and giving you empowerments is just trying to make money off you, if you see him as a gym instructor, how could you possibly listen to him? No matter what he says, you will feel that he is trying to deceive you out of money (this is your deep-seated thought, not the surface thoughts that may appear in your mind). But for the sake of benefit, you will maintain your relationship with him, so you will choose to execute in the way that least harms yourself after weighing the options. It may look like you are practicing, following the teachings, but because of the lack of the crucial element of belief, your practice is just going through the motions and has never been wholeheartedly done. Everything you do is just to complete the task and get it over with. There are many such people nowadays. At the subconscious level, they feel that everyone is selfish, that everyone is in it for the money. But they will carefully hide this thought, presenting an appearance of having great faith and being obedient, but it is only a pretense. I'm not saying that they are deliberately deceiving everyone and putting on this appearance intentionally. In many cases, they themselves may not even be aware that they are pretending, unaware that they fundamentally have no faith. And the reason they put on this pretense is partly because they feel there is some benefit in staying, and partly because the huge shock has not yet arrived. If something happens that exceeds their tolerance, they will run faster than anyone else. Because at the root, they simply do not believe that anyone would truly act for their own benefit. I have always felt that such people are pitiable - in their entire life, they have never believed anyone, they are on guard against everyone. They do not believe that their teacher is a Buddha or a great practitioner, they do not believe that he has conquered the habitual tendencies of selfishness and self-interest, they do not believe that anyone in this world would do anything purely out of faith or for the benefit of others. From a deeper level, this also signals that they do not believe in the whole path of practice, do not believe in the effects of practice, do not believe that human beings can become Buddhas and sages through practice. As a practitioner, if you do not believe your teacher, do not believe yourself, and do not believe in the path to liberation, then your so-called practice from beginning to end is nothing but self-deception and performance. It is only a grand performance of the "self" and the Demon King working hand in hand, a feast of self-deception and deception of others.

So, if you are such a person, it means you may have never truly believed your teacher. You follow him in practice, yet have never truly believed him, in which case everything you do is just self-deception and deception of others - your so-called practice has never truly begun. The Demon King loves people like you the most, because without even lifting a finger, you have cut off the possibility of your own practice. Therefore, the ability to believe is extremely important. You believe in what ordinary people cannot believe, you believe that people can progress from ordinary beings to sages, you believe that there are still such people in the world, you believe that you can find such a person to be your teacher, you believe that the truths spoken in fairy tales are true, you believe that Milarepa and Bodhidharma once greeted each other while standing on blades of grass. If you believe in these things, then you are not empty-handed, you will have the ability to wrestle with the Demon King on the path of practice, you will be able to grit your teeth and persevere, you will be able to fall into pits and get up and continue forward.

Whether willingly or not, every day we encounter the Demon King, every day you are struck by the Demon King's poisoned arrows, provoking various greed, hatred, and delusion - it's just that most of the time you are completely unaware of it yourself. When you truly begin to accumulate some merits, the Demon King becomes restless and begins to lurk around you, wandering around you. When you are cooking noodles, it is lurking; when you are reading, it is lurking; when you are feeding the cat, it is still lurking. It is lurking, waiting for an opportunity, waiting for an event that will make your mind start to waver, waiting for a crack to appear in your relationship with your teacher. And that opportunity finally came.

This morning, a woman came to visit your teacher, without any prior notice, so you were a bit surprised when you opened the door. Your teacher was quite intimate with her, seeming like old acquaintances of many years. They chatted about things you've never heard your teacher mention before. Your teacher seemed happier when he was with her, and talked more than usual. The way they reminisced made you feel like an outsider. You had always thought you were a very close disciple of your teacher, you had always thought your relationship with your teacher was very close. But now, compared to this woman, you're practically nothing. Although you were still sitting there making tea and maintaining a smile, it was obvious that your smile was no longer so natural. The Demon King began to whisper in your ear, and your mind began to be poisoned. Your pride, your self-esteem, your spirit of rivalry all started to be stirred up, starting to bubble up. Although you were sitting there, your mind was in turmoil, with many thoughts bubbling up. You felt as if you had been deceived, and the looks you gave your teacher started to become a bit resentful. Because your "self" was invaded, your "self-protection" mechanism started to activate and run. Although the changes were not visible on the surface, you yourself knew that you had started to withdraw, started to retreat into your shell, no longer completely open. There was a slight barrier between your heart and your teacher. Such things happen every day, every hour, every minute. Many people have experienced similar situations. But most people do not react and realize that they have just been attacked by the Demon King, they do not know that they have just experienced a war, and lost miserably in that war.

Most ordinary practitioners find it very difficult to be aware of these covert events happening to themselves every day. Only those who truly have some practice, some ability in meditation, the ability to analyze and observe themselves, can be aware of what is happening to them. If you are completely unaware of these things happening to you, completely unable to see how your emotions are being stirred up by the Demon King, then there is simply no way to talk about cultivation of the mind or practice. Only on the premise that you can be aware of what is happening, that you can be aware that you have been struck by the Demon King's poisoned arrows, can you analyze and examine yourself, can you understand how fragile you are, can you understand how powerful and inviolable your "self" is, can you know where your weaknesses lie, can you know what you care about the most. A good practitioner, at the very least, can be aware that their mind has been affected by the Demon King, so that afterwards they can think about what just happened, know how they were led astray, know how the inner demons and outer demons connect, and then analyze the Demon King's tricks and methods, analyze how they were hooked. This way, the next time you encounter the Demon King, you will have a chance to recognize it and ward it off. Many practitioners who do not understand practice remain immersed in their so-called "practice" every day, completely unaware of these covert wars happening in their own minds and bodies, unaware that they have been visited by the Demon King, unaware that they have been affected, unaware that they have been utterly defeated. Because they are completely unaware that such things have happened to them, they cannot even talk about resisting and striking back. Every day they are intoxicated by the excellent Dharma, the secrets of instantly becoming a Buddha, yet completely oblivious to what is actually happening to them. The Demon King visits them every day, but they are completely unaware, allowing the Demon King to slaughter and digest them bit by bit, gradually dissolving and transforming away all of their practice.

Jealousy is an emotion devoid of rationality. When we are captured by jealousy, we lose our senses, we feel that we have been harmed, we become indignant, we want to take revenge. Many crimes are born from jealousy. In fact, all of our emotions are like jealousy - when emotions arrive, we fall into irrationality. The Demon King is very skilled at stirring up our emotions, and then takes advantage of our lapse in rationality to launch a major offensive against us, destroying the fruits of our practice. Having some ability to analyze oneself can prevent such irrational emotions from continuing to develop. But this ability is now rare, it only appears in those who know and acknowledge that they make mistakes. Once, I asked a student who had made a mistake to analyze their motives and the source of their values, and then I discovered that he seemed to have no idea how to analyze himself. This incident piqued my interest. I gradually discovered that in fact, many people do not know how to analyze themselves, because they have never been asked to do so before. Those who do not know how to analyze themselves usually do not think they make mistakes, because they live in a culture that sees admitting mistakes as shameful. When they make mistakes, they habitually shift the blame onto others. They themselves are completely without fault. If a person never makes mistakes, then of course they do not need to dissect their mistakes, and the habit of self-analysis cannot be established. Because they lack the habit of self-analysis, they completely do not understand themselves. They do not analyze their own behaviors, nor do they analyze the underlying values behind those behaviors. They do not analyze how their suffering arises, nor do they analyze the deep cultural reasons behind their behaviors. They believe that these things are irrelevant to practice. They believe that practice is to find a great realized being, receive teachings from him, and then just practice every day. That is what they believe practice to be. So their practice is completely superficial, unable to touch the soul.

Earlier, I mentioned the ability to believe, and also mentioned self-analysis - these are actually all mutually reinforcing. If you live in a culture that advocates acknowledging shame and correcting mistakes, you will naturally have the habit and ability of self-analysis. With such good habits, you will easily develop the habit of observing your own body, speech, and mind. With this, you will be able to see the selfishness and calculation behind your outward generosity, able to see your various sordidness and ugliness, see your true state beneath the polished exterior. Seeing these things will make you break out in a cold sweat, will make you realize your own deficiencies, realize your own stupidity. Only then will you truly lower your head, truly acknowledge your mistakes, and then you will have the possibility of changing yourself. Those who feel good about themselves either have an intellectual deficiency or completely do not understand self-analysis.

Previously, I have seen some practitioners who completely did not understand how to analyze themselves, this aspect was not present in their practice, but they kept engaging in what they called "actual practice." They did not know how their afflictions arose, did not know the root of suffering, did not know how the self cooperates with the Demon King to transform their own practice. For such practitioners, I have no appreciation at all. I highly doubt that what they are doing constitutes practice. Because they are completely ignorant of the things happening to themselves every day. They think that as long as they practice enough quantity, realization will arise, but the reality is likely not so. I have seen many who have been in solitary retreat for many years, seen those who have recited hundreds of millions of heart mantras, but they never feel there is any problem with themselves. Because they never analyze themselves - for practice, this is very bad news, it is equivalent to being illiterate in practice. Never analyzing oneself means you have zero knowledge of your true condition, you live in the illusion that you are excellent, practicing very well, have zero understanding of how the self operates, are completely oblivious to the Demon King's tricks, completely unaware of the things happening to you every day. When your mind is struck by the Demon King's poisoned arrows, you are completely unaware; when you fall into the pits dug by the Demon King, you are still completely unaware. Even when you see these words here, you will think I am talking about others, that it has nothing to do with you. This is the result of not analyzing yourself, not observing your own body and mind. If you do not analyze yourself, your practice will only be superficial - you may have practiced many teachings, done many retreats, but you will be unable to shake your underlying, true views. You may have recited a hundred million heart mantras, but at your core you are still a worldly person.

Earlier we mentioned the ability to believe and the ability for self-analysis. In addition to these two abilities, there is another very important quality, which is honesty. This is an extremely important quality. Those who are not honest will deceive everyone, including themselves. They live in a state of long-term self-deception, self-deception is as indispensable to them as water and air, they need the positive self-image created by self-deception to sustain their lives. If a person falls into long-term self-deception, then the content of their self-deception becomes reality for them. That is to say, they have completely submitted to their self-perception, they completely believe that they are exactly as they think they are. They think they are incredibly good, not accepting any negative evaluation. At this point, you absolutely must not point out their problems - such people will not accept any truth. If you tell them they are not actually that intelligent, tell them their thinking has flaws, not only will they not be grateful to you, they will feel that you are insulting them. Those habituated to self-deception are incapable of any self-analysis. Even if you force them to do it, they will merely go through the motions outwardly. Because they lack this element of honesty, their self-analysis is purely just going through the motions to appease you. Such people live in their own world, reveling in their own delusions. Even if you pour molten lava onto their face, you will not be able to wake them up, because they fundamentally do not want to wake up. If you try to wake them up, you are only creating enemies for yourself. I have witnessed many self-deception virtuosos, and personally experienced their superhuman abilities of self-deception. They truly can explain away all their mistakes in the most beautiful way. Even if they killed a dog, they could make themselves believe that the dog was actually not harmed and was very comfortable. When a person lacks honesty, they cannot see themselves clearly, and will inevitably fall into self-deception. Self-deception will make them even more unable to see themselves clearly, and being unable to see themselves clearly will further reinforce the illusions they project onto themselves. These two will form a vicious cycle, entrapping you in an inescapable predicament. You cannot see your true state, you cannot see any of your shortcomings, and you also cannot accept others pointing out your problems, because that contradicts your consistent self-perception. You cannot see any of your own problems, and you also refuse to accept any problems pointed out by others. So this is equivalent to severing all your possibilities for improvement - you have zero possibility for change. All of this is because you do not know how to analyze yourself, and the reason you cannot analyze yourself is because you lack honesty. In practice, not being able to analyze yourself means you will never be able to find the views that cause you to make mistakes, let alone touch upon your deepest underlying values, so you will also be unable to truly change. This means you will continue carrying on your previous erroneous views, continuing to make mistakes. Your practice will remain stagnant, you will remain stuck in your pre-practice state, the only difference being that you have recited a few more millions of heart mantras. But I highly doubt this will make you become any better.

Before coming to this world, God prepared a few gifts for every foolish person, to ensure that they would accomplish nothing in this world. God would give them a mentality of complacency, would give them arrogance and taking things for granted, would give them the ability to doubt everything but not the ability to believe, would make them feel extremely intelligent, so there's no need to listen to others, would make them never admit mistakes, would make them unable to learn from mistakes. When these qualities come together, you will basically never be able to turn things around. Because when you face the Demon King, you don't have a single card in your hand. When you need to believe, you are doubting instead; when you need to be honest, you are evading and rationalizing; when you need to analyze yourself, you merely go through the motions with a perfunctory self-criticism or two. If you are such a person, your so-called practice is almost a waste of time - everything you do in the name of practice is just a performance, a performance put on for yourself, your teacher, and your fellow practitioners. Its only function is to satisfy the self in this way.

We are all very selfish, and we are all very timid. We want liberation, yet we are also afraid of being deceived. We want to open up, yet we are also afraid of being hurt. This causes us to remain hamstrung. As selfish and timid people, we have already set out on the path of practice. The Demon King lurks around us, wanting us to become like him, wanting us to remain mired forever. He will not relent until he achieves his aim. So we have no other choice - we can only muster our courage and use the weapons in our hands to fight against it. Although we are selfish and timid, fortunately we have the ability to believe, we have honesty, and we are also willing to examine ourselves. This makes it easier for us than those without these qualities to establish a true teacher-student relationship. Usually, only if we truly believe in the teacher's realization and selflessness will we be honest in return. Only if we truly know and truly believe that the teacher is guiding us for our own liberation will we follow the teachings, will we analyze ourselves according to the teacher's guidance. Only if you possess the qualities of honesty and belief will you be willing to admit your mistakes. You believe that the person before you will never harm you, you believe that he wants you to be liberated, so you are willing to open up. The truly intelligent people I have seen all have one characteristic: they can clearly distinguish what is good for themselves. Therefore, they admit their mistakes. They know they will make mistakes, they know the teacher points out their mistakes in the hope they will improve. They know doing so is painful, but they also know not doing so will be even more painful and endless. They know that all mistakes and suffering stem from their own erroneous, deep-seated values, they know dissecting themselves is to find the deepest underlying issues, so as to thoroughly eliminate erroneous views and behaviors, and achieve realization and liberation. For this, they are willing to endure temporary pain in order to attain lasting peace.

Written by Lingshan Hermit on March 20, 2024.

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灵山居士：在和魔王的博弈中，你的手上有几张牌

[moosekateer13]

Chapter 1: Psycho

 I breathe a sigh of relief when I finally arrive at my new apartment in Texas. I just hope he doesn't find me this time. Joe Goldberg my controlling ex who I also found out is a murderer.

Guinevere Beck, Love Quinn, Marriene Bellamy.

All of his former lovers are all dead. 

Not all by his hand though. Love his late wife turned out to be just as psycho as him and killed two of his former loves Candace Stone and Delilah Alves.

He also went by several aliases: Will Bettelheim, Jonathan Moore, or as I knew him, Irvine Fadington.

I came across the book by his ex Guinevere and then the tale of his late wife Love in the suburb Madre Linda.

I didn't need to see his picture to know he had committed the crimes.

What he calls love is really manipulation. Joe wants you to do things his way and if you don't you end up dead. He was trying to get clean when he moved to the suburbs but Love turned him dark again. She kept having him clean up her messes then eventually she turned on him. In the end, it was a fight to the death he won by injecting her with wolfsbane.

He confirmed my suspicions about the murders just before he was about to kill me.

Flashback 6 months ago…

He catches me with his ex's book on the table and the page opens with the story about his late wife.

"What did I tell you about going on the internet when I'm not home?" Irvine said.

"Not to. Your name isn't Irvine, is it? It's Joe right?" I replied shakily. I have never been so afraid in my life. I feel it in my gut I'm not getting out alive.

He yanks me by the hair and pulls me into the alley behind our apartment.

"Little worm figured it out. I guess you are smarter than I give you credit for. Well, I can't have you spilling your guts. I have worked too hard to cover my tracks."Joe replied as he wrapped his hand tightly around my neck. The last thing I see before everything goes black is a murderous look in the eyes I once loved.

End Flashback 

By some sheer miracle, a cop named Noe found me in the alley. It was a close call. After giving my statement, I left the state for my safety.

I'm stocking the bookstore shelves when I hear a familiar set of footsteps.

I turn around to see my friend Eden smiling at me. Her multi-spectrum hazel eyes lit up with a smile on her face. As usual, her blonde hair loosely curled.

She works at the restaurant attached to the store.

We met when I had to grab my morning tea from there.

Eden is always so happy-go-lucky. It breaks my heart that she lost her mother because of a work accident. While attending to a patient during transport, a vehicle hit the side of the ambulance.

Turns out her mom Jessica had a genetic disorder Hemophilia. So that cut on her stomach that they thought was minor ended up being fatal. Her dad Sam ended up raising her by himself. He's a lawyer. Eden is following in her mom's footsteps and going to nursing school.

She's got a chocolate muffin and orange pekoe tea in her hand.

" Thank you, sweetheart, such a sweet thing for you to do. What did I do to deserve a friend like you?" I said with a smile.

"Nonsense Y/N you are amazing and you've always been there when I needed you. I'm lucky to have you too." Eden replied.

And sets the food on the counter before hugging me and going back to work.

I spot a tall brown-haired man with broad shoulders buying something from the cafe. Even though I can't see his face I silently lick my lips. I've always liked them tall. You've just got out of a terrible relationship. It's not the time to be looking. Besides, he probably already has someone.

Fantasizing is harmless though I reason with myself.

I catch a glimpse of his eyes before he leaves. They are the most stunning ones I've ever seen. Those multi-spectrum hazel eyes will definitely be in my dreams tonight.

Chapter 2:

#that won't save us #sam winchester x reader #former! joe goldberg x reader #“Do you know how much I love you?” “Who do you want dead this time?” #tell me story bingo #supernatural fanfiction #moosekateer13 #Angst #Attempted murder #mention of murder #Attempted kidnapping #Fluff #Smut

[justabro-kenbitch]

𝐄𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐝 . 𝐏𝐭 . 𝐈

𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ( 𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 )

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : in this first chapter none

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1744

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: I hope you enjoy this first chapter, this book does not exactly follow the events of the series, there are new characters. if the writing is not beautiful, excuse me but English is not my first language;) I blame leaves translator for any mistakes

When you are the youngest of one of the most influential and wealthy families in London it is definitely not as beautiful and fun as you might think or rather, if you like drama, romantic problems, affairs and so on I am sure you would like maybe but in a family made up of my father Count Stephan Gardiminton a middle-aged man with a new passion every 2 months that becomes an obsession, the last?  Dogs but not a normal dog like the queen's, border collies, and our maddy is literally driving all our maids crazy.

My mother Dorothy Gardminton countess, also a middle-aged woman with red hair and who literally loves to style any type of hair be it hers, mine, my brothers or anyone else who asks her for advice on a color or a hairstyle .

My older brother Richard, a lover of worldly pleasures and one of Anthony Bridgerton's best friends, a really good duo, knows how to be very serious when he wants to be stiff at times but when he lets himself go believe me you would like to have him as a brother.

My sister Daisy, we never really get along very well, two characters too different, she is very serious and composed in short I don't stick to this description very much, she hasn't married yet says it's her choice, but the truth is that she rejects all those who try to propose good or bad and then complains because she is alone.

My brother Edward, he is definitely my favorite, he taught me to ride a horse, to shoot and he always goes to buy my favorite chocolates even if Daisy hates them, she is so tough, fighting in the box, smoking and refusing all the his suitors but in the end he is the loveliest of my brothers.

And then in the end, and I would like to say that it always ends with a flourish there is me, with my 18 years and my debut in society ... not that I really need it Anthony has a crush on me for more or less always and of course I don't mind this at all, my mother already thinks I'll marry him but you always have to leave all doors open.

"Alice?"  I wake up from my thoughts observing Richard's green eyes "yes?"  He snorts and I smile guilty "you didn't listen to me did you?"  I shake my head and he repeats what he had just told me "you'll have to go to prom tomorrow night and dad thinks I have to accompany you" I look at my brother's tired face "I don't really care who's accompanying me as long as someone does it .. ..eh uhm Anthony will come? "  I ask not looking into his eyes, green eyes that rise to the sky "sure that Lady Daphne will be there too" I smile inside me "plus you and Daphne are the only ones who have gone well with the queen so I expect a lot from you two diamonds in a season it's something quite bizarre "puff" and when you stop going to your mistress and start looking for a wife, you won't want to be a bachelor libertine until you're 30 dear brother "he frowns at me and I walk away from there in the park with a wicked grin on his face.

As I turn my face to see if Richard was ranting at our parents about my insolent behavior or following me I bump into someone and almost fall to the ground "oh sorry I'm desolate" in panic I notice two pitch eyes watching me "my fault" a tall guy with amber skin a light beard and short dark curly hair looks at me with a half-hidden smile "miss looks a lot like-" "Basset!"  The hands of the handsome gentleman immediately move from me to embrace the one who is clearly my brother Richard "Richard my friend how long have I not seen you" the two shake hands with a smile on their lips, while I look confused. scene better to say I look at the handsome guy in front of me who saved me from a ruinous fall, focusing on his clearly toned body even under the many clothes "I was just saying to this Lady who looks like you without equal" the same brings back the attention on me, catching myself even to observe him "I would say that it is possible since she is my sister, Alice this is the Duke of Hastings, Simon Basset not one of my dearest friends" I bow slightly and then be immediately stopped by the man "please not all these formalities, Lady Alice grateful to have made her acquaintance" the duke continues on his way giving me a last and beautiful smile, leaving me alone again with Richard "is he married?"  I ask as he continues to look in the direction of the Duke "no and he always said he didn't want marriage and children ... so my dear is pointing to something else".

My family that same evening was invited to the Bridgertons' house as is often the case, our families are very close, my father, the Earl, was very good friends with Viscount Bridgerton and my mother and Violet have now become like sisters from the long time gone by. together, so it happens very often that there are lunches or dinners that engage both families, and now they are with Eloise and Benedict smoking a cigarette on their comfortable swings hidden from prying eyes "I made this sketch the other day take a look" Benedict grabs it and looks at it with his eyes bulging "well it's really wonderful if it was printed on canvas it would be even better" I re-observe my sketch depicting a picnic by the lake and turn up my nose "I don't know I am not convinced yet" I put it away and Benedict snorts "you are a talent ... not to mention when you sing Alice if I swear an angel" Eloise takes the word "a woman as talented as you in art, music and writing who should only aspire to a marriage, it does not seem unfair to you "I take a long drag on the cigarette" but I do not aim only at marriage ... all my hobbies and talents will be cultivated that I die before that does not happen, I will not be alone an oven churns out babies "Eloise seems to admire my words" and rightly so "Anthony's voice makes me frightened that I almost fall off the swing" if you leave us alone I promise not to spy on our mother Eloise "the girl gets up in a hurry and Benedict does the same, patting his brother on the back before walking away.

"Will you really keep the secret?" I ask giggling he makes the same smile holding out a hand to get me up "it depends how much lady bridgerton will make me angry these days" I smile looking at the sweetness in her brown eyes "you wouldn't really do it" I insinuate walking with him in the back of the garden letting him no one sees us smoking, me and Anthony have been smoking and walking together in secret for 2 years now no one has ever found us and this fortuitous combination must continue "how's it going with Daphne? You told me you're really considering that slobbering Nigel Barbrock "he seems to weigh his steps" and told you to convince me to deny my promise "I nod silently" Anthony you know it's not really a good choice she's too many years older than her and for heaven's sake a title doesn't make a man " he looks forward to himself serious "I think it will be just fine" I point my feet and he just takes a couple of steps before turning to me "good God Anthony never say again foolishness of such magnitude ... that man is a slobbering bachelor who loves little girls ... get out of your head to make him marry your sister "he crosses his arms to his chest" and who prevents me, you? " He asks haughtily "of course I will stop you, since your common sense has run away apparently" almost a smile escapes him "and what do you do if I say no?" Oscar, when he stops being sarcastic "because otherwise I will never agree to dance with you or even less to continue our outings in secret" he is shocked to understand that there is someone smarter than him "you are as beautiful as shrewd and detestable, all the more to use my poor and innocent feelings against me ... "I laugh at his words and throw my cigarette looking at him defeated by his own game that has taught me so well in recent years" you hit a sore spot ... I know that I have led astray my dear lady "I shrug my shoulders" on the other hand you have involuntarily told me that you would have answered yes for a dance and that our outings please you "I giggle with my cheeks a little red" I have not said it underneath, but in case I will take it for sure you in consideration after 3 years of courtship seems to me the minimum for so much perseverance and commitment "he smiles at me and God thank that smile so beautiful" tomorrow I will debut and I really hope dear viscount who will ask me for the first dance ... so I suggest you think carefully about my words "he approaches me placing his hands on my waist" if you had any doubts Lady Alice I suspect you do not know me well yet, I would never admit I was wrong but losing your hand is definitely a worse event. .. remembers that I never lose "his lips gently lean on my cheek making me blush unmatched at his gestures and whispered words in my ear, but my brother Edward's voice brings me back too soon to reality" Alice we have to go " I thank my brother's distance and the tree behind which we are so that it makes it impossible for him to see me and Anthony spinning quickly away after a kiss on the back of my hand "but where and you are finished "I come out of the shadow of the tree" here brother I will arrive immediately ".

#bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x female reader

[randomplayz]

When your Dad is your arch-nemesis

D: I’ll kill you if it’s the last thing I’ll do.

F: Ha! You can try!

*Intense battle*

During the battle the villain’s mask gets torn off. The hero is stunned.

D: Dad?!

F: DAD?!?!?!

D: You’re my arch-nemesis?!

F: I’m sorry, who are you?

DAUGHTER takes mask off.

FATHER sudden intake of breath, on full lungs: DAUGHTER?!!?!?

D: So this is the ‘work’ you were doing when you said you wouldn’t be able to buy me chocolate, huh?! Liar!

F: Now, dear. I was busy terrorising innocent civillians.

D: Don’t give me that crap. I know for a fact that you robbed a few banks last week! You could’ve bought some chocolate while running away from police!

F: I couldn’t. You were attacking me from all sides!

D: Don’t be a baby! I threw you into a candy shop! You could have, at the very least, stolen some candies!

F: I was feeling like a decent human being!

D: You’re a criminal. You don’t even know what decency is! See, this is why mom left you!

F: Don’t bring your mother into this!

D: Oh, really?  Try me!

DAUGHTER gone with a whosh and then appears with MOM

MOM looks around, then sees FATHER, her eyes narrow.

M: You. *with venom*

FATHER pales.

F: Hello, dear.

M: I will kill you.

FATHER whimpers.

M: You. You made our baby girl run around fixing your messes? Do you want to die?

F: Now, darling, I told our daughter that playing hero won’t suit her! *quickly, panicked*

D: Hey!  You said I could be whatever I wanted to be!

F: Because I thought you would become a villain!

MOM cracks knuckles and tilts her head. FATHER takes a step back in fear.

M: ...Are you blaming our baby for all the shit you’ve caused?

FATHER look as if death came to greet him early.

F: Not at all, my beautiful, amazing wife! It’s all my fault! I take full responsobility!

FATHER loudly states, looks on the verge of combusting.

D whispers: Loser.

M: Ex-wife. *with killing intent*

F: Ex-wife. *energetically nods his head*

M: So this is where you were, doing “some important stuff ,my love”. *dangerously quiet*

MOM says quietly, filling the air with ice.

DAUGHTER, eating popcorn: OH! You’re in deep shit!

FATHER’s skin prickles.

M: You.

F: Me! *readlily agrees*

FATHER nodded with vigor.

M: I was watching my love-triangle show. And you.

MOM pointed a finger at him.

FATHER was as pale as snowman.

M:You cut off elecricity. For the whole city. I missed the confession scene. I missed the confession scene.

MOM pulls out a remote control.

M: You are dead meat. I’ll cook you for dinner.

That seemed possible. FATHER looked dead. No berating necessary.

Policemen in the distance.

P1:….Is that woman going to beat the most dangerous villain of the world.

Pause for emphasis.

P1, hysterical: With a remote control?

P2: Hey, stop that! That’s toxic masculinity! Don’t underestemate woman. Especially when you get in-between them and their romance shows.

P2 shivers.

P2: They’re scary.

Pause.

P1: Is she really beating him, with a remote?

P2: Look he’s taking it like a champ! *with mirth*

P2 claps his hands in delight.

P1: Where is the superhero?! Isn’t she, I don’t know, supposed to stop this?

P2: Look, she’s there, eating popcorn.

P1: What?! Isn’t she supposed to, um, protect the woman, uhhh, protect the villain from the woman?

P2: Nah, she lives for the drama. She let a bank robber go so she could see how his wife tore him apart. *shivers* That was a teryffying case. The robber turned himself in, said that he’ll take prison than take his wife. ‘Cause he could only survive one of those. The superhero was there the whole time, sometimes laughing, sometimes clapping her hands, to praise the good show.

P1: So then what do we do?

P2: Nothing.

P1: What?! Why?!

P2: The man’s already dead.

And that was that.

The villain arrived at the police station. Willingly. With a note stuck to his forhead. “Lending you the meat, can be treated roughly, return to me for further cooking”. Even the policemen felt sorry for the man.

This case would baffle police for decades.

The woman will have a statue erected in her honour, for deafeating the most dangerous man on earth, with a remote.

#funny #dad #dad jokes #villain #hero #you killed my father #no i am your father #joke #satire #comedy #bamfwomen #bamf #women are scary #womenempowerment #women supremacy #remote #beating people with remotes

[ack3rlady]

Well I obviously have more hcs for my favourite couple so moving on: GROCERY TRIPS. Erwin's in charge of getting everything from the shelves that's too tall for you to reach. He loves doing it for you anyway; reaching for things that are too high up, carrying all those grocery bags, holding the basket or pushing the trolley... Erwin doesn't comment much on whatever you put into the trolley, he doesn't tell you which type of cheese you should get, which variety of apples you should buy, or if you should get Greek yoghurt instead of normal plain yoghurt because it's healthier. He doesn't object to you or the kids putting snacks and chocolate inside the trolley even though there's already tons of them at home. Somehow, Erwin gains a lot of attention when you all are out. Is it because of his height, or is it because of how manly he looks carrying all those grocery bags like it doesn't even weigh much? Whenever you see women looking at him though, you have one arm around his waist, and then while they were still watching you two... you proceed to squeeze Erwin's butt.

Me at that last sentence 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Very true very true. 🍑

He’s not saying anything. But one look from him is enough to put us in line if we’re overdoing it on the junk food 💩 but he never stops the kids from getting fruit or books as long as they don’t waste em 🥲

And my boy is oblivious to the looks he gets. He’s busy entertaining Aria who is sitting in our cart and making sure the boys don’t wander too far. Starts violently coughing when he suddenly feels a squeeze on his bum 👀

“What!” He whispers barely able to contain his blush

“Nothing. Just appreciating what’s mine,” I say as i stare down an embarrassed looking lady 😡

Also, i feel like Levi would also be strangely territorial over Erwin on my behalf? Like if someone tried to flirt with Erwin when I’m not around, Levi puts them back in place with something like, “Back off. If his wife doesn’t kill you, I will.”

And Erwin’s shaking his head like, “It’s true.”

#AskMrsSmith #erwin x mia #levi x rei #TheDevilSmiths #reivi

[chickensarentcheap]

Esme stuff :)  Tyler centric

@youflickedtooharddamnit​, @tragiclyhip​, @secretaryunpaid​

Mister “I’m freezing my balls off” as soon as the temperature gets below 75 certainly didn’t think twice about a trip to Austria.   I could have stayed in our cabin and lounged by the fire and drank hot chocolate laced with booze all day, but somehow I got talked into being out here.  I am NOT at the level of snowboarding as he is lol   And I’m the one that grew up in Colorado!

He better pamper the shit out of me later ;)

That’s it, baby. Take it off.  Take it ALLLLL off.

Damn it!!!

His team lost :(   So no wild and crazy adrenaline driven sex for me tonight.  Guess I better take one for the team and play sympathetic wife and give him comfort sex.  ;)

No.  The kids aren’t with us.  They’re all at school. But when we went for one of our road trips and when we stopped to load up on snacks, I made him buy me a kite. And now he’s really pulling out all the stops and showing his ‘best husband ever’ card.  Someone wants head tonight ;)

Side note: He was going to get it anyway. But don’t tell him that ;)

When in Prague...

I got to have myself a little getaway.  Husband is here for work (client meetings) and I’m here to keep him company.  The kids had sent him a text message while we were out, asking him if he missed them.  He had nerve to send them this picture LOL

My poor long suffering husband. We’re almost thirteen years into this marriage thing and he still hasn’t caught onto the fact that  I’m late for everything lol

He has it so rough, doesn’t he?

It’s wet suit day!  One of my favourite days of the week!

Nice bum, where ya from?

It wouldn’t be a proper trip to a public beach without it ending with him dropping his gitch in the parking lot. 

#noshame

I am so clawing the shit out of that back and those shoulders when we get home ;)

One of his little secrets is that he’s an amazing cook.  Which is great, because I can’t cook for shit lol     And damn it if he doesn’t look -and smell- even more delicious than the food...

(He’s smiling because I made a off the cuff comment about paying gratitude to the chef later.  And that from here on out, when alone, he can only wear an apron)

Wife win!

I bought him that sweater. Not only is he wearing it, he actually likes it!!

And he’s looking damn cute with his new hair cut, isn’t he?

Massive drama in the Rake house this morning.  Daddy came home  (after being gone for a few days for work) clean shaven last night and when the four youngest woke up and saw him, nothing but screaming and tears! They were completely traumatized. 

That is not how daddy is supposed to look!

Oh you’re trying to work out are you? Good luck with that.

So my husband has what he calls ‘wank libraries’ on his phone.  Which consist of pictures of me hat I won’t go into detail about.  He’s even got some homemade ‘movies’ on there.  But he’s assured me everything is locked down and no one (especially the kids) could ever access them if they have his phone.

But what does he have for his wallpaper? That everyone can see? From a boudoir shoot I had done for his birthday...

Yeah....

He insists that it’s beautiful and classy and the whole world deserves to see it. I dunno...

#Tyler and Esme series

[hecckyeah]

heroes who never grew up.

when i was younger, i hated stories where the hero grew up. i wanted them all to be a perfect peter pan where captain hook doesn’t exist. maybe it’s a by product of being twelve, but i used to pretend that the story stopped when the hero was at their happiest. when the conflict was over and everything was okay.

when i was in high school, i had to read a short story about a man who wanted to be a pediatrician. he spent years studying and loving kids and saving lives, and he had a wife and kids of his own, but in the end he grew up. he wasn’t a starry eyed twenty-something anymore, and he reached middle age, and lost his zeal for life. he watched too many kids fade away because there was nothing he could do for them, and i don’t remember how the story ends but it was a tragedy. there was a car accident and he was middle aged and didn’t care about living anymore. and he simply let go of all his dreams.

when i was in college i took writing classes. my professor loved tragedy and realistic endings but i clung stubbornly to my rose colored glasses. he made us read stories about drug addictions and soldiers returning from war, crippled by ptsd. lives going down the drain, loved ones lost, worlds without hope. those stories ruined my creativity.

there’s a reason the last installment in a series is often my favorite. because the hero prevails against all odds. as a child i read fantasy. science fiction. historical novels chock full of romance and surviving and finding the joy in all the little things. and i didn’t want to face the realities of life. my life had enough stress. enough sadness. i had to watch friends leave, watch my dad drive our two family dogs to the vet for the last time within months of each other, watch my parents’ brows crease with worry and tension every time another appliance broke because they didn’t know how much food we could buy for our growing family if we tried to fix it. i watched my dear beloved great grandma grow slower and slower as she spent more and more time in the hospital with every year, never knowing if this would be the last visit where i could listen to her sweet voice tell me stories of her travels as she snuck me another chocolate chip cookie.

reading was my escape. stories and imaginary worlds were the places i could let my mind free. free of the realities of everyday life. i could step into bilbo’s shoes (or lack thereof) as he traveled the land with newfound friends who would become a sort of family to him. i could practically feel the wind in my hair as eragon rode his dragon into battle. i could feel the blazing sun on my skin as another lowly heroine of the wild west realized her true calling.

why would i want to read more about the very situations i had to deal with every day?

i couldn’t accept that people lost their zeal for life. that adults often see only the bitter realities of the world and just give up. let themselves go. forget all the good they did and turn their backs on it.

even now, as a fully fledged adult staring my twenties in the face, i wish i could explain how glad i am that my heroes never grew up. because as a kid, i saw myself in them. i saw all the things i could be, all the things i wish i’d been. i saw the best parts of humanity, because often joy is found in innocence and seeing the world through a pair of rose colored glasses.

so let them be small. let them have their innocence. let kids read about heroes their own age, because one day they’ll be older and staring their twenties or thirties or sixties in the face and they’ll remember all the adventures they went on, all the wonders they saw, all the good times they had with those heroes who never grew up.

#i think this is counted as #poetry #maybe #just a very passionate subject of mine #<3 #someday i’ll write a novel for this exact purpose #to bring happy endings back into the media #writing #reading