#I can't promise i'll be very active but we shall see))

[bydragonfireandblood]

Honestly, best part about watching HotD was that it gave me a free blocklist to weed out any jonsas (because ridiculous number of the green stans seem to be jonsas!) I might've missed the first time around with GoT. But what's absolutely baffling is how many claim to be feminists. I'll go to their blog to block them and their bio will be something like "She/her, feminist" and it's just like... what kind of mental acrobatics do you have to be doing to believe that??

Let's see, shall we? Just off the top of my head, jonsas (and fairly often Sansa's more... "special" stans) like to

Put down Dany and Arya for not being "feminine enough" (i.e. their ideal femininity, which ig means women can't be anything else). As if expecting women to conform to a standard of what's "feminine enough" isn't part of the problem :/

Constantly claim Sansa can't be held accountable for her mistakes because she's a child, but then regularly claim another child is unforgivable for her mistakes and should die for it

Imply (and sometimes even say) that Dany shouldn't be breaking the wheel. You mean the patriarchy? You, an alleged feminist, don't think the patriarchal system ASoIaF has is awful and dumb??

Suggest that Jon is actually going to politically manipulate Dany by pretending to love her but really he's doing it for Sansa. That is... disgusting on more levels than I could count, but I'll simplify it to "wanting to see an ending where a woman is manipulated sexually and then murdered by her male lover when she's no longer useful is gross and you should feel gross" because apparently they can't read at more than a 2nd grade level

Ignore the fact that this already-misogynistic plotline would be, in their dreams, so the man can get together with their favorite woman instead. Because putting down a woman like a dog in favor of another woman isn't bad, apparently

Absolutely hate the fact that Dany is a subversion of the prophecied hero trope because she's the "Princess who was promised". This would be a wonderful twist on the trope instead of the sexist "but actually it was the man all along!" one, which has been done to death already

Crack jokes about Dany being infertile and how that would "make Sansa a better wife for Jon, bc she can give him an heir". Ah yes, implying it's a woman's duty and purpose to have kids and that anyone who can't is broken. Wonderful example of feminist rhetoric, you guys

And this very much extends to the green stans too! Little wonder so many stansas seem to love Alicent, since they're both "women who have to suffer through the patriarchy". Let's see what our precious, definitely-feminist Alicent has done, shall we?

The big one: actively trying to prevent a woman from rising to the Throne so she can be replaced by her son, a man

The son, I should add, being utterly unfit to rule and she knows it (unless she's absolutely fucking stupid, there's no way she could not know Aegon would be a bad king). I mean, he assaulted serving staff, disappears to the slums to watch his bastards fight to the death, and when he was supposed to be king he fled. Rulership material indeed :/ But Alicent seems to think a penis makes him suited to rule despite all that

Straight-up admits that Viserys was less suited to rule than Rhaenys on account of temperament... but then in the next breath ask Rhaenys to help her uphold the male succession that fucked her over, in favor of a man even less suitable for kingship than Viserys was

And on the note of the serving girl... silencing rape victims is not feminist. At all. I recognize HotD's societal standards are different, but idk, they sure like to apply modern standards like war crimes to Dany and Rhaenyra so I think I'll do the same here

Resents Rhaenyra for finding happiness in her own relationships. Look, what happened to her was awful and I felt bad for her, but once she turned around and started putting other women down for not suffering like she did, instead of trying to see the system that caused her suffering ended... that's where she went wrong. (Also I feel like reminding everyone Laenor was gay. Did greens want Nyra to maritally rape her husband?? How dare a woman have an enjoyable sex life)

Book Alicent legitimately hoped that "mayhaps the whore will die in childbirth" because that's absolutely a feminist girlboss thing to say

Look, I have no problem with people liking or even defending either character for some of their actions. Even I'd admit the Greens are fun to watch despite being in the wrong, and that Sansa's bullying means her arc has potential for character growth towards realizing her ideal femininity is wrong. But when their stans start attacking other women for not accepting and conforming to the system? That's why I usually see urls/lots of posts about these characters as a red flag

If you're one of these people and I somehow haven't already blocked you? Please go outside and work on the internalized misogyny a bit before you claim to be feminist

#anti sansa stark #anti sansa stans #anti greens #anti green stans #anti alicent hightower #anti alicent stans #anti daenerys antis #qitn believers dni

[fanficstartrekouat]

Rapunzel and Kara

Rapunzel, the teacher for the children onboard The USS Fairytale, saw her lessons cancelled due to the recent attacks from hostile alien species. Rapunzel, the teacher, was walking down the corridors of The Fairytale, when she bumped into the young Kara Zor-el and her infant cousin Kal-el. It was difficult for Kara to adjust to life in The Fairytale, due to the destruction of her home world. She was depressed.

Rapunzel: "Sorry Kara, I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you okay?"

Kara (angsty): "NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

Rapunzel: "Kara. Wait, if you want to talk I am here."

Kara: "How could any of you understand the pain I am going through? I lost my family, my friends… the only one I have is this little guy."

Rapunzel: "We may not share your trauma, but we each have pain, and if you'd like Flynn and I would be honored to take you in our custody both you and your cousin. "

Kara: "It's a nice offer and I guess it beats staying alone, but what if I am a burden? You should raise Kal-El at least he won't have the trauma I do."

Rapunzel: "Oh sweetie, you'll never be a burden. I know there might be times where you misbehave or do something that I might need to ground you for, but you won't be a burden. "

Kara: "Promise."

Rapunzel: "Of course, sweetie."

Kara: "I accept."

A week passes since Rapunzel and Flynn took Kara and Kal-el in and the new family dynamic is beginning to settle in. Kara and Kal-el have adjusted to their new home, and Rapunzel and Flynn are working on helping Kara overcome the trauma from the destruction of her home world. Now, it's time for Kara to start schooling, and she's a little nervous about meeting her classmates for the first time. Flynn and Rapunzel comfort her, and they all set out for Kara's first day of school.

Kara (worriedly): "What if they don't like me?"

Rapunzel: "I am sure they will love you. Just be yourself. "

Kara: "But I'm weird."

Rapunzel: "Baby, we all have our quirks and you're not weird. "

Kara: "You're just saying that cause you're my adopted Mom and you have to say that."

Rapunzel: "No silly. I'm not just saying that. Want to know weird? I lived 18 years in a tower until Flynn rescued me. Flynn's real name is Eugene."

Kara (shocked and curious): "What?!? That's crazy! Why were you living in a tower?"

Kara: "You're just saying that cause you're my adopted Mom and you have to say that."

Rapunzel: "No silly. I'm not just saying that. Want to know weird? I lived 18 years in a tower until Flynn rescued me. Flynn's real name is Eugene."

Kara (shocked and curious): "What?!? That's crazy! Why were you living in a tower?"

Kara: "You're just saying that cause you're my adopted Mom and you have to say that."

Rapunzel: "No silly. I'm not just saying that. Want to know weird? I lived 18 years in a tower until Flynn rescued me. Flynn's real name is Eugene."

Kara (shocked and curious): "What?!? That's crazy! Why were you living in a tower?"

Rapunzel: well it's hard to explain but see when my mom was pregnant she ate a flower to heal herself as she had been very ill but the flower embodies me with magical hair. and to activate its power you just need to sing a song and my hair shall glow.

Kara: "O…kay. That's even more bonkers. So you have magic hair because your mom ate a flower to heal herself while pregnant. And to activate it all you had to do was sing a song, and your hair would glow?"

Rapunzel: "Pretty much. Sweetie, what would you prefer: dresses, skirts, or pants? "

Kara: "Hm… well, dresses seem cool, but I'll probably trip over them and I hate tripping over dresses, so umm… skirts,

Rapunzel: "Tell you what, we'll get you all three and you can alternate for whatever you feel like now. Let's get you to the, ummm… section, shall we?"

Kara: "Thanks, Rapunzel." (Kara smiles.)

Kara looks excited to browse through the clothing sections. Flynn and Rapunzel help Kara find a few outfits that she likes.

Flynn (carrying a huge pile of clothes): "Babe, I can't see. Are we done yet?"

Rapunzel: "Almost. We just need to get some bras for Kara." (Rapunzel grins with her signature smile.)

Kara: "MOOOOOOOM!!" (Kara covers her face and blushes in embarrassment.)

Kara realized what she had called Rapunzel. She started to run away in embarrassment. Rapunzel and Flynn chased after Kara, but the Kryptonian ran too fast for them to catch up to her.

Kara (to herself): "Aaaarrrg! I'm so stupid! Why did I call her mom? She can't replace my mother."

Kara realized what she had called Rapunzel and she started to run away in embarrassment. She knew she could never replace her mother, and she was ashamed of herself. Rapunzel and Flynn looked at each other and realized that Kara had run away. Flynn called out to her, but Kara was too fast for him to catch up.

Flynn (calling out for Kara): "Hey! Wait! Kara! Where are you going?"

Rapunzel (worried): "Flynn, we have to find her, and fast! It's a big ship and people get lost. But we're not in the ship, we're in a store and Captain Snow's departure is soon. I'll go explain the situation to Captain Snow, and you search for Kara."

Flynn: "Got it, Rapunzel. I'll look for her as fast as I can."

(Flynn gives Rapunzel a quick kiss on the lips and starts to search for Kara.)

Flynn: "KARA KARA"

He calls out search every nook and corner, not letting go. He sees some people and excuses himself. He shows them a picture he had taken of his family when they adopted Kara and Kal-el.

Flynn: "Excuse me. Have you seen this girl? This is my daughter Kara and my son Kal-el."

The people look at the picture and then shake their heads. They have not seen Kara. Flynn is desperate. He searches higher and higher, eventually climbing to a tall shelf where he finds Kara hiding.

Flynn: "KARA KARA"

He calls out search every nook and corner, not letting go. He sees some people and excuses himself. He shows them a picture he had taken of his family when they adopted Kara and Kal-el.

Flynn: "Excuse me. Have you seen this girl? This is my daughter Kara and my son Kal-el."

The people look at the picture and then shake their heads. They have not seen Kara. Flynn is desperate. He searches higher and higher, eventually climbing to a tall shelf where he finds Kara hiding.

Kara (crying):

Flynn doesn't say anything. He just wraps his arms around Kara and cradles her, letting Kara cry it out. He holds her close and tries to comfort her. After a few moments, Kara wipes away her tears and looks at Flynn.

Kara: "Flynn… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to call Rapunzel my mom. I don't want to replace my real mother… I don't know what to do…"

Flynn: "It's okay Kara. We love you just the way you are."

Kara (depressed tone): "You should just leave me… I am a burden. You're better off raising Kal-el at least he's a baby and won't have all my baggage."

Flynn: "Kara, don't be silly. We want both of you. We understand that there are things like this, but you don't have to call us Mom and Dad if you don't want to. "

Kara: "I want to call you Mom and Dad, but I feel like I am replacing my parents. It's hard… It's really hard. "

Flynn: "I know it is. It's hard… I may not have lost my entire planet, but I never knew my real parents."

Kara (surprised): "You never knew your real parents?"

Flynn: "No, I didn't. I was in an orphanage most of my life. And well, I became a thief before I met Rapunzel. She helped turn my life around."

Kara: "Wow, I didn't know that. I'm so glad that Rapunzel helped turn your life around. How long have you been together now?"

Flynn: "About five years, now. What do you say, want to come back home with me for a nice home cooked meal? You might be Kryptonian, but you have the appetite of a Saiyan."

Kara (amused): "You think this Kryptonian girl can out-eat you? You're on!"

The father and daughter return to the ship with Rapunzel hugging Kara and showering the girl with motherly kisses. Kara is no longer upset, but she is feeling happy and loved. She is grateful to have Flynn and Rapunzel in her life. As for eating, both Kara and Flynn are eager to have a good challenge to see who can eat more.

Kara: "Rapunzel, I'm sorry I ran away and worried you."

Rapunzel: "It's okay dear. Just tell me next time that you need some space. I love you and I am always here for you."

Kara: "Yes Ma'am, now I am going to kick Dad's ass in the food challenge."

Rapunzel: "Language, young lady."

Flynn: "Awwww, come on, I am the champion." (Flynn and Kara grin playfully.)

While Kara and Flynn are competing over who can eat more, Rapunzel is feeding baby Kal-El.

Rapunzel: "Here comes the train. Choo choo."

Kal-El: (baby noises)

Rapunzel (singing to Kal-El): "All aboard the Kal-El train. Destination: Yum Yums Town!"

Kal-El giggles as Rapunzel is feeding him. Rapunzel takes this opportunity to feed him. Kal-El enjoys the food and Rapunzel coos and praises him

Rapunzel (cooing): "That's a good boy. Who's a good baby boy? You are! Yes, you are!

Kal-El continues to enjoy his food and giggles some more.

Both Kara and Flynn have finished their food challenge, with Kara winning. Flynn is a sore loser.

Flynn: "Okay, okay, you win. Well done. But you're only winning because my stomach is smaller than your Kryptonian one." (Flynn sticks out his tongue playfully.)

Kara: "Whatever. Just admit defeat. You can't handle my appetite!" (Kara grins victoriously.)

Flynn: "I'm starting to think you're part Saiyan, Miss Kryptonian, but time for bed."

Kara: "You're only sending me to bed because I won."

Rapunzel: "Kara, you have school tomorrow so it's time for bed."

Kara (whining): "Awww, Rapunzel, I don't want to sleep! Let me play just a little more!"

Rapunzel: "Sorry, Kara. On a weekend, you can stay up as long as you want. But on weekdays, if you have school, you have a bedtime."

Kara (pouting): "Fine…"

Rapunzel: "I'll tuck you in, okay, Kara, besides, you'll love the teacher."

Kara: "How would you know that?"

Rapunzel: "It's a surprise, sweetie." (Rapunzel smiles at Kara, and strokes her cheek lovingly.)

#once upon a time #ouat #star trek #star trek ouat crossover #fanfic #the voyages of the uss fairytale #startrek #once upon a time crossover #rapunzel #flynn #kara #kara zor el #kara danvers

[mitchesbitches]

Mitch and Auston - Locker Room Series

Hey everyone, welcome to my very first series! I'm gonna do a little fanfic about our two favorite boys (Auston and Mitch, duh) and how they interact both on and off the ice ;) enjoy and lmk if you have any requests or suggestions!

The locker room is bustling with activity as the Toronto Maple Leafs players prepare for their next game. Mitch Marner, a charismatic and talented forward, sits at his locker, lacing up his skates. Auston Matthews, a strong and stoic player, approaches him.

Auston smirks. "Hey, Marner, you ready for tonight?"

Mitch looks up from his skates, his eyes lighting up when he sees Auston. He flashes a mischievous grin. "Always ready, Auston. You know me."

Auston leans casually against the locker beside Mitch, his eyes never leaving Mitch's face. "Oh, I know you, alright. You're always full of surprises."

Mitch raises an eyebrow, playfully feigning innocence. "Surprises? Me? I'm just a simple hockey player, Auston. What surprises could I possibly have in store for you?"

Auston smirks, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Well, let's just say your puck handling skills aren't the only thing that catches my attention."

Mitch's cheeks turn a faint shade of pink as he meets Auston's gaze, his voice lowering playfully. "Are you talking about my passing game, Auston? I've been known to make some pretty sweet assists."

Auston leans in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "It's not just the assists that get me, Mitch. It's the way you move on the ice, the way you outmaneuver opponents. You have a certain... finesse."

Mitch's heart skips a beat, and he can't help but return Auston's flirtatious energy. "Finesse, huh? I guess I could say the same about you, Auston. The way you handle that stick... it's impressive."

Auston chuckles, a hint of a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Is that so? Well, I'm glad you appreciate my stick handling skills, Mitch. But let's save the compliments for after the game, shall we?"

Their eyes lock, the playful banter laden with underlying tension. The locker room noise fades away as they become lost in the moment, the chemistry between them palpable.

Mitch smirks. "Oh, definitely. After the game, I'll make sure to give you a private performance."

Auston's lips curl into a seductive smile. "I'll hold you to that, Marner."

Just as their flirty exchange reaches its peak, their coach's voice booms across the locker room, snapping them back to reality.

"Alright, boys, enough chit-chat! It's time to hit the ice!"

Mitch and Auston share a knowing look before they straighten up, ready to focus on the game ahead. But the spark of their shared moment lingers, promising much more to come.

#mitch marner #mitch marner fanfic #mitch marner imagines #mitch marner one shots #auston matthews #auston matthews fanfic #auston x mitch #toronto maple leafs

[anthonyreadsthecards]

Pick A Card-June 2022

Hey nerds! Long time no talk. It's been pretty busy at the home-front but I'm here for our monthly Pick A Card reading. However, next week does look promising for another reading session. That is if a certain letter doesn't come in the mail and if it doesn't I'll be breaking in a new deck with all of you. But before we get to that, let's get to the reading at hand, shall we? The decks before you are the 1) Justice League Tarot, 2) Believing Heart Tarot, and 3) Prisma Visions Tarot. Which deck is calling out to you? What feels the most correct pile to pick from? Take a look and then flip the cards over. Lets see what they have to say.

1 ) Justice League Tarot-The Lovers, Page of Wands, & Eight of Swords

June is all about relationships. Whether you want a romantic start with a crush, a successful business partnership, making a new friend, or reconnecting with someone from your past the cards say you have to take Fate into your own hands and make that relationship a reality. But of course that's easier said than done right? There's too many variables, too many what-ifs, too many anxiety inducing possibilities right? That is just your fear talking. Worst case scenario is that the relationship you want doesn't happen, which is a a possibility. But would you rather sit around and let fear stop you or do you want to take a chance? You have the power to change the world around you. Don't you want to see what kind of world you could make?

2) Believing Heart Tarot-Nine of Wands, Two of Pentacles, & Seven of Wands

June seems like a very active month. Lots of things that need to get done and obstacles to overcome. It can be hard but try to find a balance with all that you have to do. Find what you can accomplish in a day and set out to do a little bit at a time and when you've completed what you can that day kick back and all yourself time to decompress and unwind. Another piece of advice is to seek help from those who would help you. Tasks are a lot easier to complete when you can delegate a few to other people or if it's big project, more hands tend to make the work go faster. There looks like a few bumps in the road but nothing you can't handle. Just try to balance things out otherwise you're going to end up burning out. And if that happens who knows when things are going to get done.

3) Prisma Visions Tarot-Seven of Pentacles, Three of Chalices, & Nine of Swords

So I can see from here that you're being a bit impatient. There is something that you want done. Now. But unfortunately things are not going at your speed. And with things going as slow as they have been you're worried about wasted time, wasted effort, is this ever going to happen to me? am I ever going to get what I want? etc, etc. Things take time. That's just the facts. Change doesn't happen quickly but over time. I know you want more now but try to appreciate and celebrate what you currently have in your life. There are some good things happening around, despite how crazy the world is. The time to harvest is drawing and it will be here. Soon. Just have a bit more patience. Enjoy the summer sun while you can. Your time will be here before you even know it.

#pick a card #tarot readings #monthly tarot readings #anthony reads the cards #tarot community #free tarot readings #divination community #justice league tarot #believing heart tarot #prisma visions tarot #dc comics #little witch academia

[airsoftaction]

[askvfl0wer]

#vocatines2020 #vocatines #event #ask-vfl0wer #vflower #v4flower #vocaart #((she is here...… #I can't promise i'll be very active but we shall see))

[dragon-kazansky]

Professor | Zemo + Lauda

Professor AU!

Gender neutral reader

For @lieutenantn

[Next chapter]

Part 1

University was stressful, but it was stress you would work through for your future. However, your stress just seemed to grow, and it had nothing to do with your class work.

It all came down to two of your professors.

Professor Zemo and Professor Lauda.

Both of them were incredibly handsome men who you often found yourself daydreaming about. You counted yourself as incredibly lucky to find yourself in their classes.

Helmut Zemo, your history professor. He comes from Sokovia, a country you knew very little about before learning this fact. You were his top student, but only the two of you knew that.

Niki Lauda, your languages professor. From Austria, where you have been, and would hope to go again just because this man lived there. His eyes would linger on you during class and you found it hard to keep up appearances with all your classmates around.

Both of these man had you wrapped around their fingers, but you had no idea just how bad it would become. You left your current class with Professor Zemo and headed back to your dorm.

With classes wrapped up, the teachers gathered in the teacher's lounge for lunch. There were only two teachers in there as of now. Zemo and Lauda.

The two men looked at each other.

It was no secret they despised each other. However, the reason for the hatred was a secret. No one could know they were both doting on the same student.

Both men utterly adored you.

Helmut Zemo would whisk you away during the breaks and holidays. He would take you on trips to places you had never been before, and some that you had just to create new memories with you. He would spoil you and buy you gifts. He would dance with you late at night in his office or his home. He would cook you dinner and make love to you at any ungodly hour.

Niki Lauda would take you Austria with him, show you sights. He would make you wear his jackets as he wrapped an arm around you, wanting people to know you were together. He would invite you into his office just fuck you on his desk, warning you to be quiet if you made too much noise. He would sit you in his lap while he graded papers and pepper your neck and cheek with kisses.

Niki glared at Zemo as he got what he wanted and sat down on the far side of the room. He hated him.

With graduation only days away, Niki was desperate to win you over. He wanted you come home with him and stay. He wanted you in his life so badly, but this other man was standing in his way. He couldn't have you until you let Zemo go completely.

Helmut barely paid him any mind as he tucked into his lunch. He only came to the lounge because he knew Niki would be in here, otherwise he would eat in his office.

Letting Niki Lauda have you was the last thing he would do.

"Y/N looks good today," Zemo says, knowing Niki had yet to see you today. His class with you want until later.

"Y/N looks good every day," Niki replies, still glaring at him.

"What will you do when they graduate?" Zemo's lip curls into a grin as he eyes the Austrian man.

"I shall take Y/N back home with me. I will hand in my notice and teach back in my home country."

Helmut couldn't help the laughter that tumbled from his lips. That had to be the funniest joke he had ever heard. He did not care for how much harder Niki narrowed his eyes at him.

"What's so funny, asshole?"

Helmut composed himself and smiled wickedly at him. He sat up a little more straight as he replied.

"Sorry, it's just funny you think Y/N will be going back to Austria with you. Y/N and I will be returning to my homeland. We will be very happy in Sokovia."

Niki was so pissed, he broke the pen in his hand. Ink covered his fingers as he stood up cursing in German.

Helmut chuckled at Lauda's predicament.

"That was your fault, asshole. Y/N will not choose you." Niki gathered his things and stormed out of the room.

Helmut had another good laugh once he was alone.

You made your way to class. Languages. You had been studying hard for this class, really wanting to impress Niki. He had been helping you in private... after your vigorous activities.

You were the first in the class. Niki turned around when he heard someone enter, and his face relaxed tremendously when he saw it was you.

"Y/N, can I see you after class?"

You smile softly.

"Sure. In your office?"

He nods. He can't say any more as the door opens and other students come flooding in. Throughout the class he steals glances at you. You offer him a small smile every time he looked up at you.

When class was over you lingered behind and waited for everyone else to leave. Niki disappeared into his office and you quickly followed after him, but not acting to out of it. You didn't need rumours to start from those last few studentseaving the class.

As soon as the door closed behind you, Niki pulled you over to his desk and into his lap. He had his arms around you has he rested his head against your chest. You lifted one hand to tangle in his curly hair.

"What is it?"

"Your graduation is coming soon," he says softly.

"Yes. It's come really quickly."

He sighs as he gazes up at you with his stunning eyes. You smile softly and give him a gentle kiss.

He lifts a hand to rest against the side of your face.

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

"I... I don't know."

Niki runs his thumb along your cheekbone and stares intensely into your eyes. You know what he's asking. It had been on your mind for some time now, but you didn't know what you were going to do.

How were you suppose to choose between these two men?

You run tour fingers through his curls again and sigh softly, biting at your lip in thought.

"I don't know," you said again.

Niki pulls you into a kiss and keeps you there for a moment, making it linger. He needed to feel you, taste you.

You broke the kiss and stood up.

"I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow Niki."

He doesn't want to let you go, but he has to. He has one final class to do before the day ends. However, it would be hard to focus on it when he can only think of you.

You look back at him as you leave.

You walk down the hall with your books tucked under your arm. You knew you would have make a decision because you could only have one.

....or none, but you didn't want that!

Lost in your thoughts of Professor Lauda, you were startled when someone grabbed your arm and pulled you into the nearest classroom.

Helmut pinned you up against the wall beside the door, his lips already on your neck. Your books tumbled to the floor as you snaked your arms him.

"Professor!"

He grins against your skin before pulling back so he can see your eyes. He pinned your wrists to the wall, but he was gentle about it.

"I missed you," he whispered against your lips.

You smile softly and kiss him.

"I missed you too."

He let's go of your wrists and cradles your face in his hands. He looks sad. You place your hands over his and savour the warmth they give off.

"I know what you want to ask, but the answer is, I don't know."

Helmut sighs as he rests his forehead against your shoulder. You press a kiss above his ear and lean your head gently against his. One of his hands slip into yours and his fingers curl around your own.

"I don't to want to lose you to him," he mumble.

"I know, but I don't know how I'm suppose to decide. Damn this university for hiring attractive professors," you chuckle.

Helmut chuckles with you.

He stands upright and looks at you softly.

"You can't blame us for falling for you. Who ever wins you over will be very lucky indeed. Just... don't let it be him."

"Professor... I can't promise anything."

"You have until graduation," he tells you, steeping away from you. He takes a step back and looks at you as a professor should.

A teacher looking at their student.

You turn away and leave the classroom.

Graduation was days away. You were running out of time. On of these men would be your future, but you had to decide which future you desired.

Niki Lauda was slumped in his desk chair staring at his desk. His lap felt so empty without you sitting in it. He couldn't focus on the papers on his desk as he thought of you.

Helmut Zemo leaned against the wall he had you pinned against. If you chose him he would be beyond happy. He would make a future with you far from here where he could love you completely.

Both men balled a hand into a fist.

The wouldn't allow the other man to win.

Time was running out for all three of you. Something had to be done.

@ajeff855 @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @luna-is-on-mars @wilder-fangirl @belle82devart @hb8301 @stardancerluv @killeromanoff @cathrin2405 @charistory @sleepyflutist18 @supercharged-tatertot @belle82devart @sexyundeadtrash @realremyd @goddessofmischief03 @myybebe @safiakillspop @scuttle-buttle @viviace @shura-gorl @fictionlandslanddreams @justfangirlthingies @zemosimp05 @celtic-witch-bitch @apparrio @thatoneartgalsstuff @somethingthatsaysbubbles @aloyssia

#zemo x reader #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo #au #baron helmut zemo #zemo #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda #professor au

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

Part 1 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Miraculous Jewels

Alright! I promised you meta and now I deliver!

I feel like people mostly watch Miraculous for the romance these days. Shipping is all everyone cares about. I wonder why? Probably because writers themselves don't take their worldbuilding very seriously and because they don't put much effort into making the audience care about something other than Love Square, like the mythology behind the Miraculous, or motivations of the main villain, or some pretty heavy topics for a kid's show that they bring up and then refuse to touch again. You know, all the good things. And this is coming from someone who is a passionate multishipper. I have lived through several shipping wars in different fandoms and came out victorious after all.

I am probably the only person out there who cares about the big picture, the overall storyline and the worldbuilding of Miraculous in addition to all details and implications that could develop into fascinating plotlines relevant to the main story. It is a rather lonely fandom experience, I must confess. But, hey? Who cares? I am here to have fun and bring to the table discussions no one wants to have.

So, let's talk about the basics.

If you, as the writing team, are capable of keeping only 1 thing consistent, then please, I beg you, let it be the basic concepts of your universe. Because in this case, one has to actively put effort into writing characters and conflict resolutions badly. And also because nothing can save bad worldbuilding.

I don't have high worldbuilding standards for Miraculous. They certainly aren't as high as the ones I had for Legend of Korra (which was a badly written trainwreck, that ATLA doesn't deserve as a sequel) or the ones I currently have for Dragon Prince. Therefore I won't be too harsh in my criticisms. Granted, I think that Miraculous has better worldbuilding and lore consistency than Winx Club for example (I haven't seen the reboot yet, so writers might have fixed their worldbuilding at least a little bit). Even though I enjoyed Winx when I was younger and some elements of this story still attract me.

Both serialised and episodic shows as well as movies to the lesser extent must have some flexibility in worldbuilding and plot because you can never be 100% sure where your story is going. Maybe, you'll get money for more seasons, maybe not. However, you must never lose sight of your basic concepts. They have to stay the same no matter what, because rewriting lore and retconning major developments every new season is not and never will be called good writing.

Forgive me for using architectural metaphors, but you need a solid foundation to build any kind of structure. Otherwise, everything falls apart.

I like to apply this logic to writing as well. When designing a world where your story takes place, you must lay a few ground rules. It's especially important if you have a magic system. What kind of ideas absolutely must exist? What kind of conclusion do you want your story to have? Does your magic system has limitations? Where is the grey area? Could you introduce new elements later on?

And I feel like the writing team of Miraculous Ladybug did not ask these questions. This may feel like I am nit-picking canon material and looking for problems that simply aren't there, but I promise that I am not. You see, things that I am about to point out only seem small at first glance. But these details are actually the source of the largest plotholes in the series. And their presence negatively affects character development, conflicts and resolutions of said conflicts.

That doesn't mean that I have nothing good to say about the magic system of the show and its elements. There are a lot of great ideas and concepts. And some of them have the potential to contribute to the delightful story.

Let's dive right into it, shall we?

Camouflage

I have to give credit where it's due because the idea of camouflage and shapeshifting for Miraculouses is brilliant. It seems like Miraculous can't fundamentally change its type of jewellery or accessory. The ring will always be the ring but with a different ornament, colour or shape. This is true most of the time (Monkey Miraculous is an exception since it transformed into earplugs/headphones/headband/circlet) It makes sense and avoids plotholes. Grimoire doesn't have the pictures of each Miraculous in disguise for identity protection. That was very neat too. I have no comments. This concept was very good.

Also, since Marinette wore a nose ring of the Ox in "Kwamibuster" without any problem and Adrien wore Ladybug's earrings in "Reflekdoll", we can assume that you don't need to have piercings to wear a Miraculous. Miraculous just magically passes through your skin.

I'm interested to know the following. Can Kwamis recognise a camouflaged Miraculous on a person? Can the holder order them to confess the identity of this person? This shouldn't be possible for identity protection just like with Kwamis sensing each other. But more on that in later posts.

Power Levels

For a long time, we assume that there are only 7 Miraculouses. Turtle belongs to Master Fu, Gabriel has Butterfly and Peacock, Marinette and Adrien have Ladybug and Black Cat. Everything is pretty straightforward. Then it's revealed that there are more jewels and more boxes. It makes the worldbuilding interesting, but it also majorly complicates things, making them inconsistent.

Their position in the Miracle Box implies their power levels. Creation and destruction are the most powerful forces in existence, therefore they are at the top. Moreover, it makes this Box the most important, the most powerful out of all others. Su Han in "Furious Fu" calls it "Mother Miracle Box". Fox, Turtle, Bee, Butterfly and Peacock have less power than the main pair, but more than the Miraculous of the lower Zodiac tier (since they correspond with animals of the Chinese Zodiac).

1. Ladybug can create anything out of nothing (Lucky Charm, which gives what you need the most at the moment). This Miraculous can resurrect the dead, reverse the effects of the Cataclysm. The power of Miraculous Cure or Miraculous Ladybug can work in several ways:

it simply repairs the damage (puts stuff back together, heals injuries and so on)

it reverses time for the matter, restoring things back to the state they were before the destruction occurred (however, the Cure doesn't erase people's memories of everything that happened unless they were mind-controlled, frozen in place or transformed by Akuma into something else - this is an important point that I'll discuss some other time)

How does Miraculous Cure work when there are no supervillians? In NY Special Marinette just says this.

Excuse me, what? What was that? You can't do anything when the villain is gone? What the hell?

*insert here every scene where Ladybug fixed Paris after destroying akumatized/amokized object (this action causes the Akuma victim to detransform/sentimonster to disappear - villain is gone) and purifying butterfly and feather*

It was such cheap angst. I couldn't even be upset when Adrien gave up his Miraculous, because that whole situation is just stupid. But, never mind. We aren't talking about that today.

Apparently, Lucky Charm and Miraculous Cure only work when summoned to battle a specific villain. What is the point then? Huh? You can't tell me that Ladybug has the power of unlimited creation and then say that she can't repair the damage without a special Lucky Charm that was magically synchronised with specific big bad of the week.

Ladybug also can purify Akumas. It makes sense for Ladybug to have the ability to reverse the magic of less powerful Miraculous. But this power can't be applied universally. How does this power of reversal apply to different situations where there is no evil Butterfly holder? Can Ladybug reverse the magic of any Miraculous?

The unlimited power of creation introduced in season 4 ("Mr. Pidgeon 72") is another fascinating thing. On one hand, it's logical and proves the status of this Miraculous as the most powerful. On the other hand, by introducing this power, you have created a plothole. Look, Marinette can create the charm which repels Akumas. If Ladybug can create anything then what stops her from creating a tool for finding Hawkmoth (like special glasses for discovering identities or a compass)? I mean, the show says that the power of creation is unlimited, it means that the creation of such tool is possible.

2. Black Cat can destroy anything with Cataclysm, even other Miraculous. He can kill living things and turn them into ash, but not himself. This Miraculous is supposed to have other special abilities that we don't see. And they should be equal to powers of Ladybug, both in number and in potency. Unfortunately, after 3 seasons writers didn't give us anything. It makes laughable the idea of balance between Ladybug and Black Cat.

Now, to the second tier. These Miraculouses have a singular ability, but they need a second one to keep the power balanced between Zodiac and the main pair.

3. Butterfly creates champions with different superpowers. But how does the time limit of children work for Butterfly? In theory, the countdown should start right after the creation of the Akuma since for Ladybug and Chat Noir countdown starts after activation of their powers even if they don't use them. However, if the countdown of the Butterfly begins after Akuma creation then there's no point because the holder has to stay transformed to guide their champion. The charged butterfly won't have time to even grant powers before the transformation of the child-holder drops. This issue is never explored because Gabriel doesn't have a time limit. However, I feel like it should be addressed in flashbacks of past Butterfly holders for example.

This Miraculous should be less powerful than Ladybug and Black Cat. It's often not. Some Akumas are too overpowered. Stormy Weather can move the Earth away from the Sun, Timetagger can send people through time and jump through time as well, Chat Blanc destroyed the world with a single energy blast, Miraculer could steal powers of those more powerful than her by default. These are the most notable examples. One could argue that Chat Blanc was a different case. Hawkmoth simply gave the most powerful Miraculous a boost. However, we know that even without a holder (the wildest and the most powerful form of uncontrolled Miraculous magic) Plagg's Cataclysm can't destroy the universe just like that (he presumably wiped out dinosaurs and sunk Atlantis on his own without a holder). I think that the less powerful Miraculous (Butterfly) shouldn't be able to increase the power of destruction to such a degree and give Black Cat the power to destroy celestial bodies and galaxies.

Writers want us to see Hawkmoth as the formidable villain. But it's not easy because he is less powerful than your main heroes by default of your worldbuilding. Sometimes writers make the Butterfly more powerful than creation and destruction to raise the stakes, breaking the laws of their magic system. So, how do you solve this? Let Ladybug and Black Cat keep their status as the most powerful and instead of giving Hawkmoth more magical power, make him smarter, more cunning, inventive. Gabriel is a fashion designer, whose creativity makes him a very good Butterfly holder. He has a life full of experience, he knows much more about things than the main teenage characters. Catalyst was very interesting for this very reason. Gabriel sort of discovered a cheat code to boost his powers. Show us how he experiments with his powers, how he analyses his past Akumas and tries to find the most effective ones. Maybe Gabriel tries to design Akumas that can specifically neutralise Ladybug and Chat Noir. This exploration could also give writers an opportunity to explain how the powers of Butterfly work. Can he control the type of powers he grants? Can he control the appearance of Akumas? There are many things to be explored.

4. Peacock creates sentimonsters. I remember that fans were very disappointed when the power of the Peacock was revealed at the end of season 2. I was one of them. The concept of Amoks is far too similar to akumatized butterflies. Other Miraculouses have unique abilities and keywords for their powers, while Peacock just looks like Butterfly 2.0. That glowing mask effect just adds insult to injury.

You have to start by figuring out the powers of the Peacock in a normal situation. If a holder is a good person, then how does their power work? For example, make them related to sight (because of the "eye" pattern on feathers). Maybe, Peacock grants the ability to see the several possibilities of the future, but only a few minutes ahead. Maybe, this Miraculous gives you the ability to see through someone's eyes for a few minutes (and the victim is completely unaware of the intrusion). Perhaps, Peacock allows the holder to use feathers (or tiny peacocks) as cameras one at a time and be all-seeing. These feather-spies can be destroyed by the holder or disappear on their own after some time. Such power could be devastating when used against heroes in canon.

5. Bee can paralyze. This power is pretty straightforward. Once I read a fanfiction focused on very vell done Chloe Redemption, where she fights alongside Ladybug and Chat Noir. Eventually, she grows and becomes a better person. This fic ends with an Akuma battle, where LB and CN are trapped and Akuma is ready to kill them. But Chloe uses a second power of the Bee on the villain - Miraculous Stinger. It's deadly both for the holder and for the victim (because bees die when they sting someone). Chloe kills the Akuma with a Stinger before it can get LB and CN, but she too dies making the ultimate irreversible sacrifice. I will add a link if I find it again.

6. Turtle can create a shield. I don't have much to say on this either. It feels underpowered compared to others in the second tier. Maybe Turtle can also slow down opponents (because turtles aren't the fasters animals out there).

7. Fox creates illusions and acts as their puppeteer. In order to create a balance between other powers, these illusions must hold for as long as the holder needs them to. I propose this mostly because we see that Venom of the Bee lasts very long, the shield of the Turtle lasts either until it's destroyed or the holder wants to remove it, same goes for Akumas and sentimonsters who disappear only when the holder wants them to or their affected object is destroyed.

Let's talk about Zodiac tier. Miraculous of the third tier shouldn't have the second ability like more powerful ones. These powers are the most inconsistent. Even if we haven't seen all of them yet.

8. Mouse can create many small clones of the holder. It is unclear how these clones communicate with each other and how many of them this Miraculous can create. The holder can control the number of clones. This power was very convenient in "Kwamibuster" and it makes sense symbolically for the mouse. What activates the time-limit for children? Marinette didn't have any problems with it when she became Multimouse.

9. Snake can create a 5-minute time loop and has the ability to come back in time. This Miraculous feels a bit overpowered for the Miraculous of the Zodiac Tier. The holder can reset the time as many times as he/she needs to. It's was a good source of drama and trauma in "Desperada". I was honestly surprised that Adrien was capable of fighting after spending months in a loop. But this doesn't change the fact that Snake is overpowered. You can give this Miraculous the power to hypnotise or keep the time ability but place a limit on the number of resets. How does the lyre work as a weapon? Who knows? No one!

10. Dragon can shapeshift into elements: water, wind and lightning. It has the coolest transformation words hands down (Bring the Storm and Open Sky). Apparently this Miraculous doesn't have the time limit.

11. Rabbit can time travel or jump through alternative realities, even writers aren't sure. Time-travel in this show is so badly written it gives me a headache. This Miraculous shouldn't exist just like its powers. Snake belongs to the same tier, but 5 minutes and whole centuries of time jumps aren't comparable in power levels. They are not and this is the hill I will die on. Give the Rabbit powers related to its symbolism in China like an ability to de-age people, heal them or give them a speed boost in contrast with Turtle who might have the ability to slow down.

This Miraculous is so special that its Kwami - Fluff can live separately from his Miraculous in a Miracle Box for millennia (Fluff lives in the Box in "Sandboy", but his Miraculous, pocket watch, was passed down for generations in Alix's family). This is a discussion for a separate post, however. There's a lot to unpack. We'll do that some other time. You will suffer with me but at a later date.

12. Horse can create portals. They could lead anywhere, which is pretty cool. On the other hand, this power is not very useful in direct combat, especially when it's used by a child since we can have only one portal per transformation.

13. Monkey can cause a malfunction in powers of other people. What is the point of this? This power was specifically created by writers to defeat Akuma in "Party Crasher". That's it. What if your target is not magical? How does this Miraculous work in different circumstances?

14. Pig shows people their greatest desire. Both the holder and the recipient of this power can see this desire. Chat Noir wasn't impressed in "Guiltrip" and neither was I. It's underpowered compared to other Miraculous in this tier. Also, why does the tambourine can shoot energy beams? Why?

That's all I have to say on the matter. I'll update the power analysis as needed.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous analysis #miraculous meta #ml meta #ml analysis #miraculous transformations #miraculous critical #miraculous ladybug critical #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #mt of lb and cn #miraculous jewels

[nose-bandaid]

dolce ♪

could I request minghao x gn reader museum date? ty!

The8 (Minghao) x (gender neutral) Reader fluff | 1.2k words

synopsis: a museum date with minghao — the place where you are at peace of mind. the place where you share fond memories and can love each other sweetly and softly.

a/n: here you go lovely anon!! i hope that this is what you're going for, it's actually (very vaguely) referencing this minghao fic that i've been working on so maybe there will be a prequel !?!?! 🤔 but either way i hope you enjoy and sorry for the wait !!!!

=====

When Minghao said the location for your next date was a surprise, you didn't hold many expectations, preferring to keep it a complete mystery until the day arrived. But as you stared out the car window and recognized the route to the museum a city over, you realized you probably should've anticipated this from the way your boyfriend was so excited for the date last night.

You quirked an eyebrow his way, which he caught in the corner of his eye, smiling sheepishly in response.

"Weren't we just here a few months ago?"

"Yes — but! One, there's a new exhibit that I'm sure you're going to love and two, they added a section of paintings and I wanted to see them with you." He replied eagerly, guilt seeping into his voice.

"Okay, okay," You conceded, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I wasn't complaining, I can't wait to see what you have in store."

"I promise it will be amazing."

=====

You knew Minghao had a plan in mind, but you couldn't help getting distracted along the way, especially when you're always finding something new that you haven't notice before.

He never uttered a word of complaint, and simply followed you with a small smile on his face.

Walking in a room full of statues that were much taller than you were, you craned your neck as you examined the small details put into their beauty.

"Hey, this guy looks kind of funny," You pointed out, gesturing at a statue that pictured the final battle cry of a famous warrior. Moving into a similar pose, you put on your angriest face and tried to recreate the statue. You paid no mind to the other museum-goers passing by.

Minghao stifled a laugh. "Wait, stay like that, I want to take a picture of you." He said, pulling out his phone and swiping to the camera.

"Okay," You said through gritted teeth, trying to keep as still as possible.

"But move over a little to the left."

You did just that, shuffling to the side stiffly.

"And make your face even angrier." He called out a few seconds later.

Though your cheeks were getting sore and it already felt like you're being the angriest you could possibly be, you did your best to furrow your eyebrows even further. The corner of your lips tugged downwards.

"No, even angrier!"

"Minghaooo!" You pouted, stomping your foot in frustration. "I'm doing my best!"

In the midst of your small outburst, you heard the faint click of the camera shutter and your boyfriend tucked his phone away with a smile. "I know you were, just wanted to tease you."

You stared at him, mouth agape as you tried to comprehend what just happened. "Are you saying I did all of that for nothing?"

"Don't worry, I got the actual picture too, so your efforts didn't go to waste I promise." To make up for it, Minghao came over and planted a kiss on your forehead. "You're really cute, you know?"

You squinted your eyes at him, still suspicious. "If you say so..."

He smiled and gave you another kiss, trying to prove his good intentions. "I would never lie about that. Let's continue, shall we?"

=====

There were many reasons why you loved the museum.

It was the first place Minghao took you to after he (finally) mustered the courage to ask you out. Things were awkward and shy and blushy, but memories were made and you left with a kiss on the cheek that you wouldn't forget.

Now, everything was familiar, it was like a second home to you, with how often Minghao loved to visit for inspiration. There were so many little things that simply made your mind at ease.

It was the way your footsteps echoed in the large room. The sense of peace and comfort. The smell of old paper and faint traces of flowers. The intricate patterns etched into the white walls and marble flooring.

But most of all, it was Minghao's hands gently laced into yours.

He walked ahead of you, tugging you along as he steered from one artwork to the next. Although you had happily followed him along on this museum date, you knew he was the one who was enjoying it the most. He's been here many times now while you have only visited on a few occasions — enough to be familiar with the building. But you didn't mind turning the same corner multiple times or reading the same passage over and over again. Because no matter how mundane the activity may seem to other people, a sparkle of excitement was constant in Minghao's eyes.

And seeing him happy made you just as happy.

=====

"It's extra quiet in here." You whispered, feeling the need to match the atmosphere of the room you just entered in.

The walls were covered in paintings, surrounding a statue in the middle. The multitude of artworks screamed talent as they made their presence obvious, and yet there was an eerie sense of loneliness. Aside from the two of you, the only other people here was an old woman, silently reading the description of the statue and one of the staff in the corner.

"It is," Minghao agreed, taking in the sight. "I think that's why this is gonna be my favourite section to visit. Come."

He pulled you to one of the nooks where a small canvas hung. It was covered in hues of pink, bleeding into the charcoal sketches that were left unkept. Then there were streaks of yellows that contrasted the pice and yet blended perfectly into the medley of colours.

It was, to put it simply, beautiful.

"I did some reading about this artist before," Minghao said. "They said that they painted this with a heart full of love."

"Is that so..." You hummed, rocking back and forth on your heels as you examined the painting. You paused when it suddenly felt all too familiar.

"Wait a minute. Weren't you painting something similar to this when we first met?"

As with any other story, there was a time where the two of you were mere strangers, randomly passing by each other on a busy day.

You had a feeling Minghao was purposefully guiding you to this conclusion, but he still blushed after being called out. "Yes it was, I was trying to recreate their style. But to be honest, I didn't know what to paint until I saw you across the street one day. Better yet, you were always there when I went to the park to paint, so it felt like the perfect piece to make. You showed me what love meant."

"That's so cheesy, but I love it." You giggled.

The grip on your hand got tighter. "You really saved me on that day, you know? I don't know where I would be if I hadn't met you."

"But we're here now, aren't we?" You replied gently, pressing yourself closer to his side. "That's all that matters, we don't need to care about the could haves."

"You're right." His gaze on the painting softened as the two of you stared at it in awe for a while longer, simply taking in its beauty and the memories it carried along with it.

When you finally left the room, hands still glued to each other, you poked his arm and sent him a teasing grin. "Next time we visit, I'll be seeing one of your paintings on here, right?"

"Maybe," he nodded thoughtfully. For once, Minghao did not deny that possibility — a small change that warmed your heart greatly.

"Only if you could be the inspiration."

#newskynet #kdiner #caratwritersclub #seventeen #the8 #seventeen x reader #minghao x reader #the8 x reader #seventeen the8 #seventeen minghao #seventeen fluff #minghao fluff #the8 fluff #nose-bandaid

[yoongisfxtish]

➣bts mafia! au

"let's get this straight- you're mine and only mine, min yoongi."

➣pairing: jungkook x yoongi

☒ mature subject matters are exhibited through this au. don't recreate nor glorify these actions. this is intended for mature audiences. if you do not enjoy reading about anything such as gore, abuse, suicide, and more, don't read.

➣ top!gguk bttm!yoongi

...

"i told you to bring the money," said kim namjoon as he let a puff of his cigar flow into the breeze, leaving a lingering smell present on the street corner. namjoons face was frozen as if it were stone, showing no emotion whatsoever to the man cornered.

"i'll have it soon..i promise. give me a bit." the stranger said with an uncontrollable shakiness. kim taehyung  imerged from the car he was waiting in, almost as if on cue.

namjoon leaned over to the man and whispered in his ear. "you don't want me to bring you to mr. jeon, do you? you have three options. give us the money, we kill you on spot, or we have mr jeon torture your sorry ass. what will it be?" taehyung stood beside namjoon as he pulled out the gun he had.

"make your choice wisely, man." taehyung said as the shaken man gasped for air. he must've been claustrophobic, because the two boys were cornering him and making sure that he couldn't do a thing. namjoon leaned in and put out his cigar bud on the man's forearm, making him wince in pain.

"f-fine. i'll give you the money." the man says as he pulls out the money he had been indebted, as the sound of a police car wails in the background. the two take the money and leave the man sitting in a pool of his own nervous sweat. "get in." taehyung said to namjoon as he floored it, almost hitting a man walking his dog. namjoon gasped as taehyung did so, fake crying at the action.

"chill man! you almost killed a dog.." namjoon spoke as he frowned, taehyung shaking his head. "we kill people on the daily, and you're worried about a dog? ugh, i could use a coffee. wanna go to seokjin's place?"

namjoon's face heated up at the mention of seokjin.

"boss will kill us if we don't take him. he likes to flirt with every desperate twink he sees." namjoon spoke as he rolled his eyes. taehyung sighed and started towards the boss's location. "don't get me wrong...but aren't you a bottom?" taehyung and namjoon jumped at the voice in the back seat, which wore a smile on his face. it was jung hoseok, thank god.

"FUCK THE BOSS LETS GO STEAL THE TWINKS FOR OURSELVES!!" hoseok screeched as namjoon yelled at him to be quiet. god damn, he was a real idiot sometimes.

taehyung ignored hoseok in the back seat and messaged jungkook that they would be picking him up. hoseok snatched the phone out of his hand and read the response. taehyung looked back at him with a death stare. "what? you shouldn't be on your phone when you're driving either way. boss said okay."

"good because we are here. text him-"

"get out of the front dumb bitch" jungkook said to namjoon as he did so, leaving the older look a fool. jungkook laughed as he got in the front. "you know i'm just fucking with you. i'll take the back with hoseok."

jungkooks black hair jumped as he walked towards the door to the back seat. opening it slowly, he got in and made sure not to slam the door. jungkook had always been very laid back with the boys- they were family, after all. he was the one who took on the leadership role, and was willing to do many of the gruesome things the others weren't. seeing as he was the boss, the boys all had some level of fear imbedded in them, in which the youngest found hilarious.

"jungkook is in a really good mood today guys.. i'm terrified." hoseok said laughing, earning a smile from jungkook as well.

"duh. i get to go to my favorite cafe. maybe i'll even take someone home-"

"I KNEW IT" namjoon yelled as he punch taehyung on the shoulder, who looked absolutely mortified that he had done that. "sorry, tae." namjoon said pouting.

"we are here losers." taehyung spoke, the boys faces lighting up.

"namjoon gets to order" jungkook said as he nudged the older and winked, making him blush madly. he flipped his boss off as he walked up to the register. they always ordered the same thing.

taehyung liked black coffee

hoseok liked green tea

jungkook liked mocha with whipped cream and sprinkles on top. yes, i know, what a manly drink.

but you cant help the fact he likes it, can you? 

exactly.

"ah! my favorite person ever right now, good afternoon joonie" seokjin greeted namjoon as he said hi back, making small talk in between orders. by the time they were ready, the two had already exchanged numbers and set up a long awaited date.

taehyung and hoseok got bored as namjoon and jungkook were talking to people they knew. the two ended up playing thumb wars while they waited.

jungkook, however, was chatting up his friend jimin, who worked as a barista. the two talked about recent life events and recent hookups as well, that of which had jimin smirking.

"hey, you see that dude over there? he's super easy." jimin said, pointing over to the counter. he pointed to a young man who looked to be a bit older than jungkook.

"yeah. he's not my type." spoke the younger boy while smirking, "i think i just may resort to going back to one of my other hookups for tonight..."

"jungkook, we gotta go. duty calls." said namjoon ask

jungkook sighed deeply, grabbing his coat from the chair he was sitting on.

"bye gukkie!" said seokjin as he waved goodbye, making a smile appear on the younger boys face. "boss, i think you may have to come to this house."

"and why is that? jungkook tilted his head as taehyung let out a breath.

"it's mr. mins house. namjoon background checked him and apparently he has a son in there. the son however isn't active in any of the dealing he does. we need to get the money and get out, as soon as we can. we can't disturb the son- he will probably call the police."

"here, just look. he's good for society and i would rather not hurt anyone that does good. i know it's probably better if we did kill him, but we need to have some humanity, besides: i believe our buisness purposal will not go as well when we bring a corpse to the fathers door." taehyung spoke with a stone face, almost inviting jungkook to impose new questions.

"you know you're hot when you're serious." jungkook stated as taehyungs face remained cold.

"you may be my boss, and the leader of the busan mafia, but i can sure as hell kick your ass, bunny." taehyung growled at the younger boy, who threw his hands up.

"okay, okay." jungkook shrugged

"let's get this show on the road, shall we?"

...

part one

☒i do not own the gif. credit to whoever does.

#bts rm #bts v #bts jhope #bts imagines #bts smut #bts suga #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts mafia au #bts mafia imagine #bts jeongkook #bts jimin #bts jin #fanfic

[shi-daisy]

New Beginnings

Hello again my fellow shippers! Today's day three of Ulquihime week and I'm not gonna lie, this theme was giving me a bit of trouble, since I had an idea for it but used it last year with another prompt. So instead I just made a sort of sequel to that particular entry. If you don't want to go back and read that one I'll just give you a mini summary here.

Basically this is a canon divergent AU in which Orihime dosen't marry Ichigo and runs away from the wedding when she finds out he's not truly in love with her. After her escape she reunited with Ulquiorra and he helped calm her down. That's where the first prompt ended. So here's what would happen after. Hope you all like!

@ulquihimeweek

Ulquihime Week- Day 3- Reunion/Caught

New Beginnings

"Ulquiorra, you've been glued to that phone for almost three hours now. Please stop before you go blind." Halibel chided him.

"Leave him be Hali, he's still waiting for pet-sama to reply," Nnoitra told her. The comment earned him a cushion to the face, courtesy of Zommari.

"All of you be quiet! I am not waiting for a reply. Orihime answered already."

"Would ya look at that, Ulquiorra's finally getting some!"

Once he silenced Nnoitra with cushions Ulquiorra went back to the chat. It had been almost a month since he last saw Orihime.

After she ran away from her wedding and they met by chance, he had allowed her to spend the night in his house. The next day one of her friends came to pick her up, and the redhead promised to keep in touch with him. He hadn't seen her personally since, but they messaged each other very often. Last week however, the messages had abruptly stoped, and he'd gotten worried.

Today those worries ended, as Orihime not only wrote to him but she asked to meet him in a cafe tomorrow.

"She says she's got a surprise. Should that be concerning?"

Halibel was standing nearby. She chuckled at the question. "Not really. I'm sure she's just happy to finally see you. From what you tell me, the girl needed comfort desperately."

"I'm still enraged at Kurosaki for what he did. A part of me wants to get revenge."

"That's not gonna be possible. Unless you want to get smashed against the wall again." His friend replied sarcastically.

"A small price to pay, but the woman told me not to get in 'trouble' for her sake. So I won't interfere unless she asks."

"Good. It's nice to know someone in this house isn't a reckless moron." The green-eyed blonde glared at Nnoitra, who rolled his eyes.

"I only tried to fight a cop one time!"

Ulquiorra decided to ignore the bickering and concentrate on hid phone. Being a human might've gotten easier, but not dealing with his old comrades.

***

"Now remember, be nice, let her speak but don't stay too quiet, and for the love of all that's good just ask her out properly."

Halibel and Szayel had been helping him get ready for the meeting. Ulquiorra was still nervous, but he hoped for the best.

"You two are going to ruin his chances of scoring. He looks like he came out of a band Tesla likes."

"Says the man who looks like the lovechild of a sewer goblin and Slenderman." Szayel didn't even turn to look at Nnoitra as he finished brushing Ulquiorra's hair'. "Done! Now the princess won't take her eyes off of you."

"Thank you Szayel, thank you Halibel."

"At your service!"

"I'll get going then, I want to be early for our meeting."

"Just make sure that if you bring the cutie home, you put a sock in the door."

Ulquiorra ignored Nnoitra's comment. Letting Szayel deal with him.

"I'm beginning to understand why I am the only one with a boyfriend here," Szayel commented. "You need an intervention, Jirga."

"Me? You're the one dating Starrk!"

As the bickering began Ulquiorra headed for the door and waved goodbye to Halibel.

The cafe was near his house, and from what he could see it was not too busy. Orihime's hadn't arrived yet. He picked a table and was ready to sit down, until he noticed someone skating right towards him.

"Watch out!"

He recognized Orihime's voice, and caught her before she could crash into him.

"Orihime?"

"Hi Ulquiorra! It's been a while. You look great!"

When she smiled Ulquiorra went speechless. He recovered quickly, and let her sit with him.

"I take it you work here?"

"Yes. My friend Riruka is the manager and I've been working here for a week now. That's why it took me a bit to reply, sorry if you were worried."

"Don't apologize. I'm glad you've found a job you like. The uniform suits you as well."

"Really? I didn't think black was my color."

"To be fair, you look good in any clothes."

Orihime blushed from the compliment. "Thank you. So, what have you been up to? Are the others still around?"

He sighed. "Regrettably so, Cyan and Tesla moved out a while ago, and if Starrk proposes to Szayel soon then it's likely they'll move out as well."

Orihime giggled. "I know they drive you mad sometimes but I'd love to live in house that lively."

"Tell me that after you spent a week with Nnoitra as a roommate. Speaking of which, are you still rooming with Arisawa-san?"

"Not exactly, Tatsuki-chan is traveling due to competitions, but she did leave me the apartment. Once I get a place of my own I'll move out, being on Karakura it's a little draining."

He knew what she referred to, it was clear in her voice. Ulquiorra found it hard to hide his rage, still, he managed to calm down.

"You know that if you cannot stand to stay in Karakura any longer, you're more than welcome to stay with me."

"I know, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But when I finally settle in Naruki, I want it to be on my own. I can't keep depending on others forever. Besides, you dealt with enough of my crying, that night, already."

Yes, that fateful night when they met again. It was supposed to be her wedding that to the man she loved, and instead, all she could do was cry.

And yet, a part of him was happy things turned out the way they did. That he got to see her again, and even establish a friendship. 'But at what cost? This isn't what she wanted and you know it.'

"Ulquiorra? Are you ok?"

Orihime must've noticed his change in mood, so he hid it away yet again. "I'm fine."

"You're thinking about the day we met again, aren't you?"

"My apologies. You probably don't even want to think about that night but I can't seem to let it go.

It's selfish of me to be happy about this when you lost the man you loved."

Orihime put her hand over his. "Ulquiorra, you're not the only one who's happy things turned out this way.

I did love Ichigo, and I was fully ready to marry him, I gave up college and internships to stay in Karakura with him, but he burned that away in just a moment. I refuse to be the one grieving.

He's the one who lost out on a devoted loving wife. Let him carry the grief if he has any at all.

I'm immensely happy to have gotten out when I did. My life's not going to be wasted on a loveless marriage, and I'm happy that you're a part of my new life. So don't be angry on my behalf."

Ulquiorra smiled. "I've always known you were a strong woman, but this is far more than I expected. You've grown a lot Orihime. You should be proud."

"Thank you. It’s nice to know that someone thinks of me as such.” Orihime smiled. “Now, let’s go onto more cheerful matters. I got you a gift! Here!"

She handed him a small dark blue box, Ulquiorra opened it to find a replica of the bracelet he had given her when they were enemies, only this bracelet was made to fit him.

"Do you like it? It's not real silver but it matches the one I have. So we can both wear them at the same time."

In the past six years he'd been a human Ulquiorra never felt moved to cry, until now. "I shall treasure it forever. Thank you." He immediately put it on, the bracelet was a perfect fit. "Now, I'll be the one to spoil you for a while."

***

The evening only had so many hours, but he intended to make good use of them all. After having a nice dinner at the cafe, he took Orihime to the movies. It was about a SciFi story he had yet to read, but seeing how happy Orihime was while watching he knew he made the right choice. After that he let her pick the activity.

"We could go skating. Would you like that?"

"I have no problems with that, but aren't you tired of skating at work?"

"Not really, I love doing it. Besides it's different when you skate carrying food and when you do it with a partner."

"Alright then, let's go to the skate park."

Relief washed over him when the park was almost empty. Truth to be told Ulquiorra wasn't proficient at any sport, including skating.

While Orihime was busy putting on her skates, he went over to nearby post and got a bouquet of hibiscus flowers.

When he got back she was done with her skates and had tied her orange hair into pigtails. He thought she looked even cuter.

"Here. I thought it would be fair to get you a gift as well." Ulquiorra handed her the bouquet.

Orihime was almost gentle when holding the flowers. She took a deep breath, enjoying the secent. "They're gorgeous, thank you. How did you know this was my favorite flower?"

"They're the flower on your headpins."

"True. I like that you always notice things like that. It's one of your best traits."

That made him flustered. It didn't matter how much time they spent together he would never get used to Orihime's cute compliments.

Once the the two were ready they headed for the track and began skating. His balance wasn't the best but thankfully he didn't slip.

"Ulquiorra."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for tonight. It's been the most fun I've had in a while."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek, that almost made him fall. Orihime held on tightly to him.

"Caught ya!" she chuckled. "You don't skate much, do you?"

"Busted. I rarely do anything sporty. Although that's likely to change."

"Really?"

"Yes. If I am going to be spending time with you, I'll learn in no time."

"Are you asking me out?"

"I am. Would you accept this invitation?"

"Yes, absolutely."

#uhweek2019 #Ulquihime #orihime x ulquiorra #orihime inoue #ulquiorra schiffer #Reunion AU

[day-dawns-on-me]

“Your love for us is the same, so doesn't really matter if you know who I am. You love me still and I know it.”

I was watching YouTube when I felt someone approached and sat beside me. A soft feminine presence, but I couldn't seem to tell who it was.

Her: “Mind if I hang out?”

Me: “Sure, I love having you around.”

I could feel her easing close to me. She was very gentle and compassionate. I looked through my companion list to try to find out who she might be, before asking her directly. I heard her speak but could hear no words, I could see the outline of her form but couldn't make out any telling features. A problem I have is that I'm capable of hearing and seeing them but when it comes to names and identity I sometimes cannot distinguish them.

Me: “I don't know who you are. I'm sorry.”

Her: “It's okay.”

Me: “I feel it's unfair to you.”

Her: “Your love for us is the same, so doesn't really matter if you know who I am. You love me still and I know it.”

I looked away. I was grateful that she was so understanding but I couldn't help but feel I should have done better.

Me: “Thank you.”

She smiled brightly.

Her: “Now why don't you write what I said in your phone? Helps to remember.”

I reached out to my phone before putting it away.

Me: “I don't want it to continue though. I appreciate your kindness but I don't want this not knowing who you are thing to continue. I need to improve. I can't keep being like this just because you are okay with it.”

Her: “Keep trying.”

I sighed.

Me: “You're very encouraging.”

She smiled, and lightly ran her fingers through my hair.

Me: “I like it when you touch my hair like that.”

Her: “Like this?” she arched her eyebrow, then continued to fondle my hair. “I shall do it more often then.”

Me: “Can you tell me your name again? I'll try my best to hear.”

She told me her name, and it echoed into my ears.

Me: “J! It's you.” J, the mercoral.

J: “Yeah, I am the coral lady,” she giggled and winked.

I could hear her softly humming as she relaxed beside me. I could feel her warmth, her solidness, her breathe on my skin. Her presence is a constant, and it makes my heart grow wings.

I remembered when she first came to me. I thought she was quiet and shy. She very much held back at first, the one to not speak unless spoken to but I could feel her soft presence regardless. If I had to assign a colour to her, it would be soft pink. I promise myself I will recognise her the next time. I don't know why I couldn't just now...

Me: “J, are you reading this as I type?”

J: “I'm always eavesdropping on you, so of course.”

???: “Who knew,” a distinct male voice spoke.

Let me see... dark feathered body and a haughty face...

Me: “I think this one needs no questioning. It's you R.”

Sometimes I have a problem identifying who is who, but not in R the tengu's case. I can recognise him anywhere.

R: “Bet,” he said as he saw me type that lol.

J: “It's rude to interrupt our conversation you know?”

R: “I care not. I was bored anyway.”

J: “Let's retreat for the night!”

I don't know why but that sentence seemed to fill me with adrenaline like I'm ready to run a marathon or something.

Me: “What do you guys have planned for the night?”

J: “Do you think we would do anything without you?”

R: “Come on, my wings are suffering. Let's go.”

J: “Wait for me!”

I tried to see what they were doing because I suddenly felt so restless. Something must be up with my astral body. I only could make out a swing obove the ocean or skating ground and it made my heart skip a beat.

Me: “What is this you guys are doing??? Are you skating on the ocean or something???”

J or R (I couldn't tell): “Just zip along and you'll be fine!”

For a while the swings thing was all I could see. For a second I saw a ball but then back to the swings. They sounded like they were in the middle of a sports and they were having fun. I had a guess that the reason I couldn't see was because my conscious mind was blocking me, the energy of whatever place or activity those two were doing my mind interpreted it as swings above the ocean so that's why the vision got stuck there.

Me: “Wait a bit for me guys! I'm trying to get rid of my mind's blockage.”

J: “Hurry up!” she said amidst laughter.

I let go of my thoughts and I could see better now. We were on the beach with a fine fair ocean stretching just before us. Them two were playing beach balls and kept throwing it back and forth and asking me to throw it to them so I did. It was fun. It was a whole lot of fun. Who knew a simple game like this could be so exciting.

J: “We should do this again some other day.”

Me: “J, R, why don't we play this during the camp? It would be fun. I can make more balls for ya.”

R: “It would need to be a competition.”

J: “With scores and stuff.”

R: “Mhm, competitive playing.”

J: “We'd likely be the judge.”

R: “Bet. Who'd want to play with those kiddos?”

What can I say? These two are now the official sports judges in my family and I am blessed to have them.

[asexual--junpei]

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada. ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You are about to get spammed with 600 dank memes. Prepare all nukes and weapons for the Great Spam War. If you can contain the amount of spam I have, you will be granted with special powers that allow you to smoke weed 200 times harder. Not only that, but you will have a laggy as fuck laptop. You know how lucky you are?????? My laptop runs at 669FPS and it never lags or is slow. YOU LUCKY SON OF A GUN. You will pay the price by me giving you a link (Which shall contain a download) which will wipe all your memory off the face of this universe and overwrite it with my own software, Memesoftlocker2.0000.0. You are so damn lucky you know that? NOT EVEN I HAVE IT SLUT. But if you were able to read up to this point congratulations, you suck. But click this link www.mymom.;;;;;;/eeeeeeee.crash; and you will be taken to a memory erase phrase. You lucky slut, but you will get the best computer software ever that makes your computer lag so bad that you can't even use it. LIKE HOW AMAZING??? Yes, I promise you this is 420% legit. But if you spread this abusive software you have EARNED I will suck you off this living universe so be careful buddy. Now, Please stop reading this message as it ends now...

Excuse me? I find vaping to be one of the best things in my life. It has carried me through the toughest of times and brought light and vapor upon my spirit. You're just another one of those people who doesn't believe in chem trails and fluoride turning us gay. Your ignorance to the government is what makes you a sheep in today's society. Have fun being a slave to todays's system.

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I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

We regret to inform you that the card titled "Mommy's Debit" has been declinded your latest purchases due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases with your local bank. The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

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- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

[email protected]

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ ＲＴＺ， Ｉ’Ｍ ＴＲＹＩＮＧ ＴＯ ＬＥＡＲＮ ＴＯ ＰＬＡＹ ＲＩＫＩ． Ｉ ＪＵＳＴ ＨＡＶＥ Ａ ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ ＡＢＯＵＴ ＴＨＥ ＳＫＩＬＬ ＢＵＩＬＤ： ＳＨＯＵＬＤ Ｉ ＭＡＸ ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ ＥＧ， ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ ＳＯ ＴＨＥＹ ＭＩＳＳ ＭＥ ＬＩＫＥ ＥＧ ＭＩＳＳ ＹＯＵ ７０％ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＴＩＭＥ， ＯＲ ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ ＳＯ Ｉ ＣＯＵＬＤ ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ ＦＲＯＭ ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

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ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /)

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧ ＯＲ ＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ

█▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ

༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

Thats so cool! You should write a book or do a screen play

- mod santa