#I could have just done this weeks ago?

[sappholotl]

I have finished my coursework. I have free time once more. What shall I do with all this free time? Who knows. Probably nothing.

But the possibilities are endless

#i procrastinate too much #like this took fucking ages don’t get me wrong #but like #I could have just done this weeks ago? #adhd #no more work for me #university #coursework #I’m so happy #I got to play video games #having a great time

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[moongothic]

That is exactly something I've been wondering.

'Cause. Like if Whitebeard managed to hit Crocodile hard enough (=with Haki) to cut his whole hand off, then surely he would've done more damage than just leave a cut on Croc's face, right. Like his head should've ended up in two pieces. And I mean it's not impossible WB could be the cause of both wounds (like for example WB could've first just scratched Crocodile's face and then, when he was in shock, taken that left hand, or something, there's like a million ways this action scene could play out), it is entirely possible still. But it would ALSO be entirely plausible if Crocodile got his scar and lost his hand due to different people.

Also if Dragon is a former Marine then he could know the Rokushiki, and like I dunno about y'all but to me Crocodile's scar looks to me like it could've been caused by a Rankyaku to the face (or if Dragon is a Wind Wind Fruit user as many speculate, his attacks could very much be like wind-slashes similar to Rankyaku, any cutting attacks or even Croc's own Spada-attacks). Like the way his scar goes across his whole face, ear-to-ear, it looks like it could've been caused by a cut that hit him straight-on (but didn't cut through his whole head). As opposed to a cutting motion from a blade that'd go from like one side of the face to another (where I feel like it shouldn't go ear-to-ear, and instead, at most, like, ear-to-cheek, y'know? 'Cause the face would curve away from a blade etc? But also this is a manga and shit like this doesn't have to make sense, it just needs to look cool and be symbolic and shit)

(There is also the forbidden option that WB could've given Crocodile the scar and it was Dragon that took Crocodile's hand. And not in the romantic way 🥁)

In any case, if Dragon did attack Crocodile out of instinct because he couldn't recognize the strange, imposing man with a baby who showed up at the secret location at a secret meeting time when he was supposed to reunite with his wife and meet his child... Oh yeah. Dragon could've assumed the worst, thought that they had been found out, that his beloved had been taken out and baby kidnapped. Or something. And thus attacked. And boy howdy would this be one absolutely gut-wrenching way to cause a divorce, eh

((Only thing is that for Dragon to hurt Crocodile, either Dragon would've had to have gone in with the Haki right away, which is viabe but makes me question how Crocodile even survived to begin with, or the attack would've had to been moisturized ahead of time for some reason. Unless Dragon can add moisture to his attacks by default, or unless it was raining, it'd make no sense how Dragon could've cut Croc's face up. But hey we know Crocodile doesn't really like the rain, now does he))

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Dragodile #Crocodad #I swear I saw someone do fanart of this very thing like less than two weeks ago and I spent like 20 minutes browsing through a bunch of tag #Just trying to find it but. No. Could not find it #Point being I'm glad I'm not the only one to have thought of this!! #Now what would be the more horrible way for things to go #Dragon attacks Crocodile and grabs the baby before trying to interrogate ''the stranger'' about what he had done to his wife #Only to find out he has a husband now instead (or would've had if he hadn't just speedran their divorce) #Or Dragon attacks. Grabs the baby. And flees. Trying to look look for any sign of his wife. Leaving the stranger behind #And Crocodile just fucking skedaddles. In the end Dragon finds out from Ivankov about Croc transitioning and realizes What He Has Done #I'm just saying the Story Potential here. I'm getting Thanos Snapped as we speak on an emotional level just thinking about it

[why-the-heck-not]

29.06.23, thursday

I had a presentation today, and there's nothing (and I mean nothing) I hate more than those, so as a treat I made the rest of the day real cozy. Baked bread & listened to podcast while cleaning my apartment; good chill times

#also no it's not the absolute best bread; i used to be lots better at bread some years ago but i can't for the life of me remember what #modifications i made to that recipe (like it was basically just a rough guideline at the end) and i am a dumbass and never wrote any of it #down so i gotta now do some bread research and start again with tinkering everything #but the problem is that I live alone now and i can't bake like multiple big loafs a week bc it's just me eating #so it'll be lots slower this time #yea i should/could have also just been productive bc the thing i had that presentation on is still not like entirely done #but it's like almost there and I could afford a chill evening #presentations take lots of energy out of me anyways even if it's just a small quick one like today was like I am just done for the day afte #so nothing too great would've come out of it anyways #at least I now have a clean kitchen and no longer and actual mountain of clean unfolded laundry on my couch #studyblr #bookblr #booklr #aesthetic #books #study #reading #read #book #studyspo #dark academia #chaotic academia #june 2023 #2023

[allthegothihopgirls]

i HATE taking my piercings out. worst thing ever. im not me without a bunch of metal in my head

#none of them ever come out unless im cleaning them #even though i KNOW i could leave them out for weeks #except for my snakebites + eyebrow (can still leave them out for days without closing though) #but im just not meeeee without 15 pieces of metal on me #i really wanna get a double eyebrow piercing but i think i'd need to get the one i already have re-done too #because i half ripped it out of my face a couple months ago on accident and now it sits lower than it should #gothihop speaks

[front-facing-pokemon]

#shedinja #now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever #y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think #you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is #so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago #and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months #i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago #by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up #while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease #and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for #if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear #i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur #spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next #also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there #because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE #you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there #you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here

[fatcowboys]

im done w moving and out of the shitty apt w the shittier roommate (who did not let move out happen without adding as Much drama as possible) and have just. been feeling so much better. living w my two friends who actually communicate well and all work together on our needs and gah. so less stressed and anxious now!!! and also in a week kitty introductions have gotten farther than they ever did w shitty roommates kitties (they were kinda bullies, so we had to move glacial speed even w oregano cat expert) and just. thank u the universe things are so much better now

#only improvement would be if anjo Also lived here curse grad school!!!!!! #i moved out over a week ago but we just tuened in keys after cleaning day on sunday #and across just those two days bad roommate accused me of faking cleaning a part of something (that was not requested or clear) #tried to turn anjo against me by saying im a liar and manipulator and gaslighter (which. listen the last one i could say the fuckin same) #(which is also so funny bc anjo and i are so close. became codependent in a heart beat. why tf would u think anjo is gonna be on ur side) #then at the walkthru pointed out things that were damaged (which they are Alsonin on that security deposit what are u doing) #and the texted again accusing me of shit with a stupid fucking infographic on weaponized incompetance #thankfully like all of these i had my friends with me bc when infirst got there for cleaning i uhhhh had a panic attack lol #so i had good support thru everything and now never have to deal w them #its just. been So much lmao. and its so fucking nice how calm and smooth things have been #like i had that sort of shit. i in general am good at communicating and avoid shitty drama like this person #so its been So exhausting. but im done now thank god #and the new place is so much better and nicer and i love the friends im living w and Yeah :')

[elegyofthemoon]

kicking and screaming FREE ME ALREADY

#tw vent #vent #PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE #i dont wanna do this anymore and i have to wait 3 weeks to actually leave #threeeeee weeeeeks of heeeeeeell #like i said: i genuinely could care less anymore so me? studying? lmaoooo lololol #the only thing im afraid of is more getting yelled at and being treated as incompetent #yeah babey!! i sure am incompetent!! and that is why!!! i am leaving !!! i hate ALL OF YOU #as i said before: all things i do lately is judt for expectation its not even like 'for my future' #i just want this done asap #anyways sorry i just needed to vent this. #internets still bad here too 😒 #the guy was supposed to fix it 4 hours ago but um. didnt show up lmao #im sorry lately if i seem really down rhese days #i know i said im gonna try to be positive (at least i still have happy logs) #but Man.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes #and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on #ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done #and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well #im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them #and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right #its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried #i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway #im just. this is gonna b a difficult week #and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend #nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia? #how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru #but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep #ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway #and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week #sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems #but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed #unrelated

[vashti-lives]

The cursed cardigan is done!!!!!!

#adventures in knitting #this poor sweater was just plagued with issues #should have been a very leisurely 2 month knit #lol I literally started it almost 2 years ago #everything that could go wrong did go wrong #hope the curse is complete now and doesn’t pass to my mom #who is the recipient of this sweater #finished all the knitting last week and blocked it over the weekend #so technically it was a 2023 project #but I was too superstitious to call it done until I sewed the last button

[mylimoji]

yjh is such a hypocrite, i can't deal with him. he's my favourite guy. him being upset @ kdj for allegedly kissing ysa when he had a whole ass family in the last regression, him feeling betrayed and disappointed that kdj lied to everybody how he knows the future events while HE himself has future knowledge by being a goddamn regressor. kdj is a bitch, but yjh's double standards are incredibly funny

#orv #yjh is so prideful and i deeply relate to that character trait - that doesn't mean his actions made out of pride aren't just plain pathetic #kdj is a bitch but yjh's double standards are so incredibly funny to meeeeee like i'm the same!!! #'how could you have done that 🙄 even the child knows this' *made the same mistake three weeks ago* #his holier than thou attitude falls apart so fast when you know even a little about him. it is very very funny. #al.txt

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[todayisafridaynight]

About Judgment: In short, I think RGGS was intending to continue the series. There were indeed rumors at one point that the series would end at Lost Judgment due to a disagreement with Kimura's agency, Johnny & Associates, about porting the games to PC--I'm unclear on why, there was speculation but I don't think it was ever stated. Obviously the PC ports are out now, so either that wasn't the issue or they moved past it. There's also just general disbelief around there being a third entry simply because there's this idea (joke?) that Kimura never does three of anything, which isn't true at this point. It is true RGGS historically hasn't done three of anything in terms of spinoff series (Kurohyou, Mobile+Kizuna, and arguably Kenzan+Ishin), but it's also true that none of their past spinoffs have been as successful as Judgment, and we're seeing a lot of "firsts" from the studio lately. The fact is that Yokoyama himself said something along the lines of "and of course, we won't forget about Judgment" (not literally, just the closest English expression I can think of that can be misinterpreted in the way I'm about to explain) while talking about future works. But for some reason, people took it as if he meant it "in mourning" rather than an obvious confirmation of more to come, I guess? A TV show was also announced, so I really don't get why they'd invest so much into a series they were going to end. I know Kurohyou got a show too, but this seems different. Anyway, that's the most recent information, but it's from some years ago. There is a major new development, however: J&A talents' contracts are being cancelled left and right as of the last couple of months due to the agency's dogshit handling of and response to an investigation into Johnny Kitagawa's serial abuse of allegedly hundreds of his talents. That's been going on since the man died in 2019, basically, but a lot's happened this year.

This has left the talents with the incredibly tough decision of either remaining at an agency that refuses to even change its name and is rapidly breaking down or leaving. It has historically been very difficult to do the latter. On top of what you'd expect, J&A controls their talents to an insane degree and has leveraged their control of the media to suppress the careers of those who leave.

Broadly, in terms of how media companies have responded so far, I understand not wanting to associate with J&A and that J&A would likely benefit from the contracts more than the talents, but it still feels like the talents are the ones being punished... I have to imagine at least some of them were victims, so to be victims of the blacklist on top of that... That, and some of these companies kept the truth from coming out for decades.

With J&A losing its foothold in the media, though, there may be no better time than now to leave the agency. I don't know if Kimura will--rumors have been circulating ever since his idol group were forced to break up years and years ago, but while they all went independent, he never has--especially because a lot of seniors like him feel a responsibility to stay and change the agency for the better. As of right now, I'm not aware of Kimura's contracts getting cancelled, so I can't say one way or another if that'd have an effect.

I don't know what happens from here. I'm not sure if RGGS will look at it as collaborating with J&A or with Kimura or both, and how they'll factor in what's going on right now into working with him. Hypothetically, it would be possible to continue the series even without Kimura (any of the other mains do or would make great protagonists), but at the same time, Judgment is hugely reliant on Kimura's charisma. That's why people who play the dub (or people who don't like Kimura) often come away with the impression Yagami's kind of a dick or doesn't stand out much.

So... that's the state of Judgment right now. We won't know until we know, I guess.

OHHHHH OK saucy... sucks about J&A- it'd be cool if yk. they could face the consequences of their actions LMAO but that Could involve displacing hella workers now wouldnt it

#snap chats #well i hope something neat is done with judgement. again i have barely touched it but it does seem like a rad series.. #rgg #anyway... unrelated tag ramble time... i feel so ugly LMAO i just havent eaten yet. im makin rice now tho #Insane we had a roommate meeting x days ago and one of the agreed upon things was that we could use each others appliances #and one of my roommates brought a rice cooker but obvi i wanted to ask first but she said no so. gotta use a pot. of which ive never done #it shouldnt be hard tho... lol.. s'just rice.. #im technically supposed to be at class rn but im dropping it this week so id feel weird going to a three-hour class im not coming back to #heres to hoping my fuckin emails are answered or ill actually have to be an adult and do it myself LMAO #honestly i will later tonight if my email aint answered i hate waiting on stuff like this #after i Hopefully eat some fried rice balls i might doodle or i might practice some Y7 chapters #im still mad LMAO but im gonna make a ramble post in a sec bout that #ty for sharin the gossip with me thats wild.... agencies annoying as hell And Criminal Sometimes i SWEARR

[southernvampire]

uterus has been yeeterused

#so i had a hysterectomy about two weeks ago and it's insane how much better i feel not only physically but mentally #i havent felt this in tune with my body since i was a kid #i finally feel like im on the path to how i want my body to be like and i never understood just how much i was affected by #both gender dysphoria and physical disease (endometriosis) until i got almost everything removed in there #im solidly sure im nonbinary now instead of having conflicting feelings about it #i feel much better about expressing my strange femininity and being perceived as feminine #i feel more spiritual too?? idk how to describe it #im just confused a little about why this had such a big impact on me since yeah it did give me dysphoria to a degree but i didnt think it #was THAT bad #i feel more in tune with my child self; like i feel like a grown up version of my 9 year old self and more confident #my mind is much calmer and i just feel so present and one with my body. i finally feel like i could meditate comfortably withouf wanting to #escape my mind or body?? idk idk it's so so weird #anyway im also in much less pain despite not being able to do much of anything and still healing from surgery #and i know that having this done isnt a cure but god i hope i get lucky and that the endo doesnt come back anyway #it's amazing to be able to love my body instead of being mad at it because it causes me pain and does things that i dont want it to #idk if that's a fully healthy mindset or not but that #that's what's been going on in my life so far

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I'm gonna give Brian a lil garden in my fic. Btw. If you even care.

#you briefly meet him in chapter three #but i wanted you to hang out with him in chapter six #and i was thinking. where could you hang out. cause just sitting in his room the whole day would be boring #and i wanna give him some cute hobby bc i love him #so #he has a lil flower garden on the ship #also spoilers i guess but he tells you that hes not just a robot like you thought #but a human that got mechanized #so now you know that it is possible to get completely rebuilt #something you wrre wondering about after tim asked if youd like to stay #and i think that will be the chapter where you make a decision. to stay #which means! after that will be the chaoter that i already started writing a while ago where you are mechanized #and qfter that a lil epilogue that i wont say anything about #so i have only three chaoters left to write!!!! #at that pace i think i may be done by the end of this week. or the next one #honestly idk #im writing a lot but you know i have other things to do too #still i am very close to the end #excited to share #bee buzz

[rowenabean]

So I have been really actually doing better this last week, which is absolutely lovely, and two things that I have noticed:

It's much simpler now. It's really nice to have a phone call with a friend and just be like "nice phone call that we can both enjoy" instead of being like "does she actually like talking to me is she just doing this because I'm asking for it is she just pitying me". That's an exhausting way to be!

And then the corollary to that is that it actually is easier for me to be interesting! Because I'm not stressing about three levels of anxiety about the conversation I can relax into just chatting and it's much less of an effort! It's a terrible catch-22 but I actually am a less boring person now!

#i am grateful that she kept showing up during the time i was stressed about it. and also i did cancel a phone call a couple weeks ago #when i couldn't handle the second guessing of it all #and i am so. glad. to not be in that space any more. this is a much simpler way to be in the world #and it's like. crediting people with what they say about themselves/you? letting them actually be telling the truth? #are there things my friend could have done to make this easier? like probably but it's ok if she's not a perfect friend? #(a thing she said to me also when i was feeling bad about how much energy i was demanding of her) #rowena adventures #feeling better hours #also btw this isn't just about this one friend it's about this attitude of being in the world. just that the #conversation this morning got me thinking about it because i had had the Difficult Feelings last time at #we chatted