#I didn't intend for it to sound so

[misfit-among-the-angels]

If you don't mind my asking, why are you so down on yourself? You lead a very interesting life, you seem fun and personable, you're very attractive. It's only a matter of time before you find love and success wherever you choose to look.

I'm severely mentally ill with several mental disorders, i have trauma, I've been abused my entire life, I'm still living with my abuser, I'm poor, i live in a shit country....

My real life isn't anywhere fun or interesting. My daily life is usually boring and a lot of suffering each and every day. What do you see isn't what always happens in my life, i mean all the trips and concerts n stuff, that's just little sparks of something that used to help but now it doesn't anymore.. As much as I wish it to help me again it doesn't and it's sad but it is what it is. Concerts and trips can't heal you, no matter how you with they would they don't..

Yeah.... I've heard this before many fucking times just being differently worded like "I've promise you find it/feel better" or "stay strong it will be better soon" or what you just wrote. And I'm tired to hear it because THAT'S NOW HOW MY LIFE WORKS. It gets only worse for me, especially this year. Each and every month it gets a little bit more worse and I'm hitting yet another bottom or whatever it is. And if it gets better then i get a double hit with something bad. 🤷‍♀️

It's only a matter of time when I'll kill myself.. 🤷‍♀️

Oh and it's pretty hard to find love when you're unlovable and when love only hurts you and you can't even feel it but it still hurts you. And when you're gay and other girls just laugh/mock you or just think of you as a sex object. Or when it's always and forever one sided....🤷‍♀️

So yea, keep telling me that it's the matter of time....

#sorry if this sounds rude #I didn't intend for it to sound so #anon #answered

[sagau-my-beloved]

More or less a continuation of the Venti jealousy oneshot

Warnings: general sagau, codependency, obsession

-

Morning came all too quickly, light trickling in as it usually did without any care towards your desires, the idea seemed almost poetic in a way. The entire world morphed to suit your whims, yet the stars remained as uncaring as ever.

You awoke with a foggy mind, a mixture of dream and reality swirling through what little consciousness you currently held. You were quick to notice a heavy weight as well, one that lay unmoving atop you.

It only took a second for you to see Venti's body completely tangled in yours, limbs sprawled about, legs intertwined, and his head resting softly on your chest.

A recollection of exactly what happened the night prior finally started to crystallize, all the words, both spoken and unspoken, that were exchanged...

He looked so peaceful like that, his eyes fluttered closed, lips slightly parted, so content, as if in that moment he wasn't a God that had borne witness to countless bloodshed, that had a hand in causing it. He was simply your Venti, an unburdened creature so full of the whimsy you found yourself lacking.

You gently caressed his hair, feeling him stir slightly at the feeling, seemingly pulling himself out of whatever slumber originally occupied his mind.

"You're here..."

Who gave him permission to sound that adorable when half awake, seriously, you needed to have a long conversation with whoever felt it fitting to give an Archon the ability to melt hearts so easily.

"Of course I am." You cooed, cupping his cheek as he leaned into your hand.

Venti immediately pressed a soft kiss to your palm with closed eyes, a warm act that almost caused butterflies, if he hadn’t had done it over a million times before.

You returned the act with a soft smile, befitting of your title, as he looked up at you with beautiful bright eyes.

"I missed you..." He mumbled, leaning up to kiss you, getting close enough to allow you to close the final gap.

You laughed slightly, the sound ringing out across the room as Venti cherished it.

"I've been with you this entire time."

He only chooses to cling closer, nuzzling his head into your neck, "I really missed you..."

He was always like this the mornings you spent together, so desperate to have you all to himself. You once had someone walk in on a morning like this, come to check on you since he had been hogging you for the entirety of it, and that poor person had a door slammed directly in their face.

Sadly, you couldn't indulge him as heavily this time, some mixture of hunger and anxiety from where you left the previous night’s conversation prompted you to attempt to wiggle your way out of his grasp, an attempt he didn't take kindly to.

"You're not leaving, are you?" Venti asked with a pout, obvious displeasure bleeding through his voice.

"I'm sorry," it was a sheepish apology, containing traces of the underlying emotions you were attempting to conceal, "I've got meetings to attend today, I should really get ready."

Of course that wasn't a full lie, there was the meeting on the new irrigation system, the one tackling the problem of the increasing elemental slimes, the festival planning committee for the new holiday that your followers were all so insistent on creating for the day of your arrival... It was going to be a busy day. Venti could sense the use of an excuse though, pouncing on it with a dejected expression.

"Do you not want to be here, with me?"

He definitely had a way of cutting to the root of the problem didn’t he, forgoing all the flowery embellishments in favor of simply asking a question you couldn't possibly answer.

You did answer though, settling on what might be seen as the least direct and most evasive.

"It's nothing like that, truly. I just can't allow you to hog me today."

Venti let out a hum in response, doing little to loosen his hold on you.

"Or..." He started, wrapping his arms around you fully, effectively trapping you further, "You could let me take you out to Windrise, or maybe Stormbearer Point? We never go out that far out together."

His voice was a mixture of hope and need, played off with the same carefree tone he was known for. That sounded like an altogether pleasant outing really, but it certainly wasn't something in the cards for you today, or this week, or probably this month.

Venti could sense your answer before your mouth even opened to relay it, and yet his expression didn't match what you were expecting it to fall to, the same needy and down stricken completely heart-wrenching face he made every time you denied him of your presence, in its place was something akin to a hardened determination, something that could be considered dangerous.

"And what if I just kept you here instead, hmm?"

You gave him a curious look, tilting your head to the side in an attempt to fully understand exactly what he was implying, him matching your expression with a mischievous glint and rather cheeky smile.

"Oh my dear divine creator, do tell me you'll indulge your most loyal, trusted, and loved follower?"

You stifled a giggle at his tone, mentally picturing the image of exactly how Zhongli would react if he heard such 'blasphemy' come out of the mouth of his former companion in arms.

"Those are bold words you know."

Venti feigned offense at the implication, "Yet true all the same, right? I am your favorite, aren't I? You'll say it won't you?"

He was practically begging for praise, mumbled words of pleas in between him exercising his hard-earned privilege of being allowed to press his lips against your skin, a privilege unique to him and very few others, and he certainly made full use of it.

You wanted to protest, refute all of it, the notion that you would be spending any part of your day indulging him instead of attending to your much more important work, the idea that you held him on some sort of pedestal above your other followers, but it seemed particularly difficult to actually get the words out as Venti was intent on filling every one of your thoughts with how gently he touched you. His fingers were softly pressed against your back, certainly not demanding, never forceful, never anything but loving, loving and desperate that is.

"Please," it was practically a breathy moan, "Please look at me."

You hadn't even realized your eyes had wandered off, to a safer and less intense place than his gaze.

You hesitantly moved them back, intentionally avoiding his own eyes in favor of watching how his hair swayed with every subtle movement. He seemed content with that.

"Don't ever stop looking at me."

The way he said it, with a broken voice, as if your attention was lifesaving, as if he'd truly and utterly suffer without it, a living death.

He was yours, all yours, nothing but yours. Yours to do anything with, yours to own and use. But it was all pointless if you discarded him, if you chose not to look at him, not to acknowledge him, to deprive him of the very thing he lived off.

Back the way things were at the beginning, him being simply another face among a sea of people who worshiped you, how he died a little inside every time your eyes simply brushed over him, how he had to claw and fight his way to the position he was currently in, and how he would do it again a million times over.

Oh how he would easily morph himself into whatever you wanted. Appearance, personality, moral code, it was all worthless, all adaptable. Maybe you've grown to find his voice grating, or perhaps you're attracted to a more refined look, he saw you stealing glances at Diluc the other day after all... Do you consider him lazy? Should he take a more active role as an Archon like Ei?

You watched him spiral, not entirely sure what it was he was over-analyzing, but concerned nonetheless.

"Venti?"

Your voice brought him back almost immediately, eyes snapping to attention as if ready to hang on to any word you could possibly speak, any noise at all that would exit your parted lips worth as much as any gospel.

"Are you alright? You seem kind of... stressed."

Venti savored the individual sounds of the syllables, simply the way you spoke them, the slight twinge of a foreign accent that didn't quite belong to the land of Teyvat, one that he could never hope to imitate or hear in any other person, something that was uniquely you. It took a moment longer for him to register the syllables in relation to each other, the words they spelled out and the implications behind the subtle rises and falls in your voice throughout the sentences. You had a way of making everything sound like the most beautifully written song. A single line, one that he must have heard other variations of a million times before, so easily reducing all of his handcrafted ballets to dust.

Venti blinked owlishly for a moment, as if not quite sure how to respond, seemingly unable to even fathom following your beautiful symphony with one of his own creation.

You could see it now, the way he was regressing, receding into the same mindset he had as a simple wind wisp, the form you had first met him in, or so you were told.

You briefly thought back to that moment, how he explained it with sad eyes and a reminiscent smile. That was a difficult day for you both.

But the more immediate problem was how your beloved Archon was quickly losing touch with reality.

You could see it in the way his eyes seemed to glaze over, how they unfocused themselves when acknowledging anything that wasn't you, how he looked as if he wasn't even aware of any of it.

You weren't blessed with the ability to read minds, but you were sure that if you exercised such a skill in his current presence, the only thing that you would hear would be your name on infinite repeat, with the same adoring tone that displayed all over his face.

He was particularly cute when love drunk, to say anything less would be a blatant lie. Simply watching how his eyes sparkled brought an unconscious smile to your face, along with a strong feeling of wanting nothing more than to simply hold him and love him, to give in to him. It was a very dangerous feeling, you knew that by heart.

You let out a soft sigh, a noise that caused him to immediately perk up, filled with an obvious desire to be told what to do, what exactly you wanted from him, what he could do to make you happy.

"I'm supposed to be somewhere in about fifteen minutes you know."

You intentionally avoided saying anything about Kaeya and the whole Treasure Hoarder situation, but it somehow seemed as if Venti knew, which was rather obvious in the way his face immediately darkened.

"Stay." It wasn't spoken as a suggestion, but not quite as a demand either. "I'll deal with him myself tomorrow."

You weren't quite sure you liked the way he phrased that, implying his intention was to deal with Kaeya and not the situation—

As it was always better to attempt damage control before the damage had even occurred, you did your best to mumble out a few excuses laced with apologies as you attempted to once again wiggle out of the sheets, and eventually, with a push more forceful than you had originally intended, you managed to do just that. The end result, however, was less than desirable: Venti on the floor with an incredibly shocked expression.

As much as you did want to offer to take him with you, allow him the honor of indulgence, an honor only you could grant, you weren't as sure as you would have been comfortable in the notion that he wouldn't attempt to shoot Kaeya on sight.

So instead, you opted for a sorry smile, followed by a quick dash to and out the door before he could even blink, much less protest.

Venti stayed on the floor for quite a while after, slowly coming to terms with the fact that you weren't coming back. He was rather sure that if you were still here, you'd think he mimicked a kicked puppy, and the comparison wouldn't be too far off.

He contemplated sitting there all day, imagining the loving expression you'd wear when coming back to find him in the exact same place you left him. That, in itself, would make it more than worth it.

But then again, how much happier might you look if you came back to flowers? A bundle of Mondstadt's finest ones at that, and he could even add some crystal cores in, as you always seemed so enamored by the Crystalflies.

Or maybe you'd prefer a nice meal? It did pain him to think of how often you didn’t focus on your health, so preoccupied, so diligent to take care of everyone else. Venti made a sour face at the thought, he would continue to stand by the statement that none of them deserve it, especially at the cost of your well-being.

It was difficult to stop the rapid-fire ideas that seemed to keep multiplying, everything he could do in the span of time before your re-arrival. But Venti was fully prepared to tackle them, all while daydreaming of the praise you just might give him in return.

#genshin impact #sagau #genshin venti #venti x reader #genshin x reader #yandere genshin au #yandere genshin x reader #why did this take so long oml #hi yes I've risen from the grave #I actually didn't write this in one sitting like i usually do #Because it ended up way longer than I was intending #So I'm hoping it doesn't sound too choppy or anything

[andy-clutterbuck]

5x11 | The Distance

#S I R #Rick Grimes #* #rg #S5 #HMMMM #are you even alive if feral wildman rick didn't speak to some nasty part of your brain #man is WEARING that shirt #me as the python #kiss me on the forehead and tell me i did a good job #his B A C K #why are backs attractive call bill nye i need science #i love arm #let me drape myself across your back thanks you're a peach #i was gonna type something that i realized sounded way trashier than i intended....even for me #so....

[mwagneto]

sheet music is so special to me. someone hundreds of years ago made something beautiful and said i can't play this for you but i can tell you how. you can recreate my work and hear my art through your own. agh

#like do you ever think about that.... old music didn't stick around like paintings and #words do but centuries later we still know what they sounded like coz they #left behind instructions anyone can follow and hear them.... sounds surviving across all this time...waaa #in other words i finally learned gnossienne no. 1 after putting it off for like literal years #it took like. 5 tries tops to get all the notes idk why i delayed it for so long it's #one of my favourite pieces #the rhythm is the tricky part you rly have to nail the everything for it to sound as intended #i think i got it but i can't tell #it looks so simple and it is on paper but the actual movements are so precise #barking #classical music

[simpjaes]

why do i picture jay as the type of bf who would let you suck on his thumb to fall asleep when you are feeling specially needy or clingy or even vulnerable after some intense sex scene with him😭😭😭😭😭 im so down bad for this man its insane

OK NONNIE LISTEN, i see the vision, i really do! but this is a lil toooooooo infantilizing to reader for me to write ;-; i know that this would be in a sense of two consenting adults but the thumb sucking thing is def not for me.

pls forgive! i will write a lot of stuff, but nothing in regards to reader being so vulnerable it appears as age regression. [at least to me it's like this, and again, i write within my own triggers so! :D]

#ask #anon #i know u probably didn't intend for it to sound like that anyway so no worries!!! also not judging u for wanting to read something like thi #its just def not for me to write <3

[blood-orange-juice]

Had a Childe main moment at work yesterday. I was searching for a knife (we have cake in the lab every Wednesday) found a Really Big One and burst out in maniacal laughter (while happily waving the knife around ofc).

Because, hey, I FOUND IT and it was usable. I had all the reasons to be happy.

Expected weird looks but my boss got all excited and told a story of how his 3yo daughter had a Learning Moment involving knives recently (apparently she also has the same name as me). They invited other kids to play together, a boy took the knife for cutting playdough and refused to give it back to her. Drama started brewing, so her mom reacted with 'just go get one from the kitchen' (they let her use table knives) which the girl did, except that it was a Huge Chopper Knife. The boy's mom instantly reacted with telling her son to just give the playdough knife back.

"So she learned that day that she can get what she wants if she brings a really huge knife to a conversation. I'm not sure I planned to teach her that."

Let me tell you, he sounded absolutely delighted by the fact she learned that.

I'm starting to understand why this guy hired me.

#childe phd student au #the feminine urge to use the biggest knife possible #I didn't quite intend for it to sound so freudian #bonding over love of sharp objects is a universal experience #tw: rinn

[lolhex12]

real talk for a sec: in what godforsaken reality/dimension/parallel universe would Andrew's drugs be considered medication?

this kid, who's normally known to be eerily quiet most of the time (with occasional violent tendencies when provoked), is legally forced to take these "meds" and he starts talking randomly in book/movie lines, they make him look and act high when on them, give him extreme withdrawal symptoms, make him fall asleep in places and around people he would never fall asleep otherwise, make him think that pulling his knives to someone's neck as a (more believable) threat is somehow the correct way to handle a situation.

like?? if anything that medication made him even more violent.

what sane person would see him react that way think "yeah, those are the right meds for him"?

#correct me if i'm wrong but i'm pretty sure Andrew started pulling his knives so readily only after he started taking those drugs #before then he was more chill and calculated about his actions #that 'medication' had the opposite effect of what it was intended for and no one said anything?? #Bee definitely could've and should've done sth bc THAT'S NOT NORMAL #not from a court ordered drug which visibly didn't have the desired effect (<- make him less violent) #i'm reading a fic where it was implied that those court ordered meds were experimental drugs which are often high risk #so they were only tested on criminals and delinquents (Andrew) #and that coming off of them would leave long-lasting damage on mood & emotion balance #(<- which they only figured out after testing them on unwilling subjects) #and this somehow sounds more believable #the fic is: #Blame It on My Youth by youreyestheyglow #and imagine if riko sent those guys to harass them at eden's and the whole medication thing was fully premeditated and deliberate #<- this is also from a fic which i don't remember the name of sry #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #fanfic #fanfiction

[gorechoi-backup]

in regards to this post i could finally contact tumblr and they said there’s no way they can restore the account nor the posts i had, which means i’ve lost basically all my works in there so if any of you have reblogged at least one chapter of one of my fanfics i’d appreciate it if you could send me the link so i can try and pull together a masterlist on my new account since i created this one only as backup.

i’m really sorry to bother but i’ve lost basically everything and need to start from scratch so i’d appreciate the help so so much!

the new account is @choinsaw i hope to see you there ♡

#important #gorechoi #I'm trying to sound super calm rn but honestly im completely angry. im pretty sure i wont get back half of the stuff i wrote #so this is nice :))) #i will try to get some things back i promise but please be patient with me #before this happened i was contemplating pausing my writing bc i was struggling with the lack of support #so im really just pushing a bit rn bc i wanna try and see if i can regain some motivation to write again #anyways end of rant (?) #I'll appreciate if you can reblog this to let others know i got a new acc and i didn't intend to just delet my fics out of nowhere. thanks♡

[peregrineggsandham]

But that’s wrong? Someone can say “Its raining”, but that doesn’t mean the other person hears or even understands them, even if they speak the same language. It means nothing.

I mean, we can just talk about the sequence of sounds that we can write out phonetically as /ɪts ˈreɪnɪŋ/. And yes, those are inherently meaningless. It's just a bunch of noises! As I said, nothing iconic, or even remotely evocative of rain.

But meaning is formed around that sequence of sounds by those who create and hear it - speaker and listener alike. And that meaning is predicated on a wonderful mix of speaker intention, listener bias, historical context, shared cultural knowledge, and a host of unspoken conversational maxims and patterns.

I was definitely focusing on the meaning as interpreted by the listener in that last post, so I'm sorry if that confused things. And I was sort of assuming that the listener and speaker were in an ongoing conversation and understanding each other. But even if they weren't, even if the listener couldn't understand the speaker, that doesn't mean the utterance itself "means nothing". If said with the intent to communicate, then it definitely means something at the very least to the speaker! Like you said - someone can say it! And there lies a full half of the meaning.

Conversation is inherently a collaborative act, but it starts with the speaker's intent behind an utterance. They're taking a complex idea - the concrete "rain", the more abstract "-ing" and "'s", the somewhat idiomatic "it" - and turning that combination of ideas into the movement of a stream of air, following a strict set of patterns and rules that developed organically over thousands of years. That's neat!

If the listener doesn't speak the language, or mishears, then they may not pick up on that meaning. It could just be sounds, to them. Or they may even misunderstand, and pick up an unintended meaning. If they lack some of the required context (e.g. by not knowing a word), or if the speaker is flouting one of those unspoken maxims (e.g. by being sarcastic) and the listener doesn't realize it, the meaning may be warped.

The utterance of the sounds /ɪts ˈreɪnɪŋ/, the writing of the phrase "It's raining", you're right that these aren't inherently meaningful. If the sequence "itsraining" happened to appear in a randomly-generated string of letters, I wouldn't personally assume any meaning to it. And since this train of thought did start on the topic of magic, I'll say I find nothing particularly magical about a string of random sounds or letters either.

(Now, if you did see meaning in that random string, I think you'd effectively be practicing some kind of divination, by believing that there was intent behind the randomness. That the universe or whoever or whatever produced the string was actively trying to communicate with you. That's a pretty common idea when we talk about certain kinds of "magic". I think it's interesting that words, symbols, and communication from some unseen "speaker" are so integral to our understanding of it, and I think there's something to be said there for seeing language itself as an inherently "magical" thing regardless of whether your interlocutor is just your next-door neighbor or... whatever you personally believe is at the other end of an alectryomancy session. But dammit Jim I'm a phonetician, not an occultist.)

Point is, in conversation, in the context of a person speaking to another (regardless of whether it's understood), an utterance (or any sequence of symbols) is meaningful because of the intent behind it. Not the sounds themselves, but the very act of turning ideas into symbols - and back again.

...

I apologize if I'm repeating myself a bit - it's quite late and the question of "what does it mean for a utterance to have meaning" is actually a really interesting and complicated one, anon!

I'm admittedly being more flowery and less technical about it here because in the end my other main point is just "Isn't language really astoundingly neat?", but this is the stuff from which journal articles are written. (Usually involving a surprising amount of predicate logic.) It's an important line of inquiry because it can help explain a lot of where communication goes right and wrong, how misunderstandings happen, and how to effectively convey ideas to others.

That said, to be fair this isn't my specific area of expertise - I'm in the phon/phon corner where we ask people to make noises and stare at spectrograms all day, this is more the sem/prag corner where they put lambda calculus and philosophy in a blender.

@cryptotheism Ach, look what you made me do, I'm rambling about sounds.

#linguistics #semantics & pragmatics & semiotics are entire fields of study for a reason! people can and do spend years talking about this very issue. #I took a great pragmatics class once - the first week of which was titled ''what does 'mean' mean?'' #for instance - if a speaker says ''it's raining'' aloud to -themself- without intent to communicate with a separate listener #is it still a meaningful utterance? #it doesn't add things to any kind of conversational common ground #but it may still serve a specific purpose to the speaker in helping them organize their thoughts #and it isn't a random string of sounds said for the sake of making sounds #so we can argue that it does indeed still have meaning #magically speaking I'd jest that the speaker is casting a one-person spell of 'remind myself why I picked up that umbrella a second ago' #now... could a random string of sounds said by a person with the sole intent of making meaningless sounds... have meaning? #it may convey information! that information being ''I am making some meaningless sounds.'' #it's not really -language- but does it -mean- something? #does it -mean- something in a different way from how 'it's raining' -means- something? #and from there you get into a couple different definitions of the word 'mean' #the specifics of which I don't remember though now I sorta want to track down the paper we read that first introduced it #it was super interesting and a bit of a mind-bender #sam says stuff sometimes #sam says... a lot of stuff apparently - whoops #I'm sorry anon I didn't intend this to turn into a small essay

[buckets-of-dirt]

Man I miss the sound setup I had in highschool. It was hodgepodged together from speakers my dad borrowed from a friend in the 90s, a hand-me-down CD player that let you load 6 CDs at once, and the record player I got for Christmas in grade 9 so it didn't have the "best" sound quality but it worked for my teenage emo purposes. Dad dismantled it when I went off to uni because he started using my room as an office and the whole contraption took up half a bookcase and somehow the speakers/cd player went missing so I'll never get it back but I think of it like a long lost friend.

#the record player is still around but it doesn't hook up to newer speakers (hence the hodgepodge) so I haven't used it since #I think the cd player might've had a tape deck too but I didn't have tapes so I don't remember #anyway this was prompted by me listening to an album that felt like it should be played on vinyl #I hope that doesn't sound too pretentious #listening to it digitally was perfectly fine but sometimes the intended medium enhances the experience #like how certain songs sound better live #edit: I know the speakers weren't finally returned to the friend but they're nowhere to be found

[burinazar]

(post contains mia s2 spoilers and also may be semi incoherent i've been brought low by 4am belaf and vueko feels and must exorcise them like demons to sleep and have spammed the ganja server enough today already)

belaf and vueko are thematic opposites but in a complementary manner, not an oppositional manner. her big symbolism thing is darkness, and his is sight, which requires light/visibility, the opposite of darkness -- but there is no clash between these ideas as they manifest between the two. instead he encourages her to look INTO the dark. he understands the dark is a safe and warm thing for her. his quest for a revelation through gazing with determination and fondness isn't meant to cast a searing light into it or tear it away.

and Vueko so values what she finds when she looks into the darkness that she dies with those words on her lips, thinking about two things: how much she loves Irumyuui, and how grateful she is for Belaf’s words about gazing fiercely into that dark, the act of which led Vueko to her.

#orphan hole tag #'i was so happy when he said i had dark eyes....they let me find you....' JUST KILL ME #note: i have no clue if tsuk intended them to be thematic opposites like this or not even though it works out so well #this may sound insane of me but like. at this point i wonder how much of belaf and vueko's dynamic was just a happy accident he didn't plan #did he INTEND for there to be a powerful reversal of Be's role as emotional support to vue when she becomes 'the strong one' later on #also the 'vueroeruko' thing that we all read so much into was apparently so Nothing to tsuk that he just fucking forgot about it #when he wrote the live dialogue for the grand settlement meeting? so idk. anyway it may be a bit of a coincidence #(this is a short ramble version of something ive generated several longer post drafts about) #(i don't feel a rush to finish anything like taht though bc i know the primary audience for such a post is just me. ^^) #(meanwhile the one about Vueko's different relationship to intimacy btw anime and manga has interest to others probably. i should finish it

[catoscloves]

"elena's such a bitch when she and damon are together she's so much better of a person when she and stefan were dating" like both of them are terrible only elena's actions reflect on her morality not who she's dating stop that at once

#i mean i get what y'all mean but it honestly just sounds like you only consider her a 'good' person if she's dating your heroic salvabro #and only like her at that point #and consider her ooc or 'bitchy' or whatever when she chooses damon #which imo means you're not really an elena fan you care about your favorite salvabro's happiness even though both of them #abused and belittled elena and took advantage of her vulnerability #and besides wwho cares if shes a good person #even as a care fan the fact that she was so mean to her and stole her dress is hilarious? lolz #attempting to kill bonnie and threatening caroline's mom were not the best moments #those definitely reflected poorly on her as a person #(more so for bonnie since elena didn't really intend to hurt liz i guess and lbr of course liz was never going to be collateral damage) #her relationship to male characters shouldn't be the priority over her abuse and mistreatment of her friends #and i'm not referencing her stealing care's dress that's literally fucking petty compared to her attempting to /murder/ bonnie #anti delena #anti stelena

[moonshapedbox]

*sigh* it’s like... a majority of the time i don’t miss twitter and im happy to be rid of it but on other days i miss my close friends and like the chatter of everything yk ??? i feel like this is the only place i can express myself bc i couldn’t be this weird and free on twitter without feeling like all my mutuals were judging me like idk what to do abt it at this point

#i still don't think i'll return but idk #funnily enough being on here has improved my mental health #bc being on twitter made me so anxious & depressed and wore me down mentally and emotionally #to the point i was suicidal last christmas throughout march/april 2023 (mainly due to other reasons) but being on there worsened it #i know it sounds silly but leaving in june was a definite turning point in my life #and i didn't even mean to leave like that i only intended for it to be a short break but i realized the longer i was gone the happier i was #i just don't want to go back only to get worse again its just not worth it yk #rinnie's rambles </3

[mybrainproblems]

brain is just mii waiting room music as i consider where i've ended up in my supernatural fandom journey

#that is to say: a berenscrit dabbfan and glynn stan who considers s1-3 kripke and dabb era to be the best eras of spn #which means i'm sad bloodlines wasn't picked up as separate from spn and think it's a blessing in disguise that wayward wasn't greenlit #also i'm going to be watching an adaptation of a YA novel that i have zero interest in just bc glynn is the showrunner.... #i wasn't in the fandom when wayward wasn't picked up but everything i've heard really sounds like it could've been a firefly s2 situation #i feel like the issues with kaia's character are well-understood at this point but killing off missouri to make her a spirit guide(???) #for patience is uh. questionable. and depending on how it was handled could have fallen badly into the magical negro trope #the shitty thing is that we all know it wasn't picked up bc execs thought an all-female cast with middle aged women as leads #wasn't marketable to a larger audience and that part is bullshit but i think maybe it was best it didn't go forward as it was planned #like unless they were intending to have a very diverse writers room i cannot imagine what berens might have come up with #the creation and treatment of kaia as a character says a lot and i think the blame falls more on him than dabb or other writers bc she was #created with the intention of being on the show he would be showrunner for so i think he had more independence/less oversight #dabb is complicit tho and so are the rest of the writers tbh since it doesn't seem like anyone saw any huge issues with it #also: davy perez wrote a better confession in stuck in the middle with you vs 15x18 and does not get nearly enough respect for it 🙄 #tbh *none* of the other writers get enough respect like my god you're gonna stan berens and NOT ms meredith glynn???? #thee all-rounder and Understander of late seasons and top 5 writers on the show *ever*? #glynn could do 05x04 the end but bedlund could never do regarding dean #hashtag Takes that would get you cancelled in 2021 #spn

[avvocarlo]

bro I'm not even autistic but what's the deal with people saying one thing and them assuming you know they mean something else? it's like you've voided your right to complain at that point. I don't trust this job

#I'm quite open lol like even today i outwardly said the pay is barely above minimum wage and i didn't intend to stay long #my health condition has been one of the things that gets in the way #and i have simultaneously been told off for having it but also not saying so sooner #idk i like privacy and needed a job i thought i wouldn't have to bring it up till now #which sounds like it compromises what i mean by being open but it doesn't actually #contradicts rather #forward type mf with his own crazy inner world

[icharchivist]

curse of having a popular post turning around tumblr is to suddenly recognize a Big Name Tumblr with a very Infamous history in your activity and having to stare into oblivion for a huge moment.

#also just in general the people commenting on my 'wow this sounds like a bad idea' post that broke containement #with a general 'what are yall so shocked about it seems like a good idea' #is generally driving me insane lmao #i specifically posted as a reaction picture that ALL the words on that tweet were discouraging to me #and then sometimes some people just defend one of the words and i'm just. #it's the combo of things the problem please i am NOT engaging with people lecturing me on a 31k post #that never was intended to leave my private bubble :sob: #also idk which popular blog reblogged it that i got like #1k notes just in the past few days #but i'm going to cry the activity on that post had calmed down...... #opening my activity to see if the a//3 fandom liked my last bit of shitpost only to see people's will to live disappear over a bad news. #tragic really. i just wanna know if you like my silly boys. #if you're going to give me 1k on a post i didn't think i had to justify myself about #at least take a look at my silly boys. I love them. It's good to be happy. #...... i think the last time i complained about this post i legit went there going #'How about you look at Itaru and be happy for a minute instead.' #so this is still on brand from me i see #ichatalks #ichasalty