#I don’t know anyone who’s done that

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 67 | Part 68

Steve barges inside and shuts the door as gently as he can. “Robs,” he says, then pauses. “Alli. I dunno. Just-” he shakes his head and heads upstairs without another word, missing the worried glance the girls share as they hurry to follow him.

Allison hesitantly knocks on his bedroom door, which he’d just disappeared behind. “Bubba?”

“Yeah,” he answers, but doesn’t open the door.

“Can we come in?” Robin asks.

He huffs an approximation of a laugh. “Since when do you ask?”

She parrots the quasi-laugh and opens the door, plopping down on the floor next to him. “Since it’s your room, dingus.” She nudges his shoulder with hers. “Wanna talk about it?”

He shrugs and brings his legs up to hug. “She’s not coming on this one.”

“That’s probably a good thing-”

“Neither is Jon.”

“And this was-”

“Her request. Yeah.”

Robin breathes out a long, slow breath. “That’s hard.”

“Yeah.”

Alli sits on his other side. “You okay, bubba?”

Steve tips over into her, lets her wrap him in a hug. “I dunno.”

Alli hums. “Sounds about right. Can you think of anything that’ll help right now, in the moment?”

Steve sighs. “This. I just need to get out of my head for a minute.” He tucks his face into her neck with another sigh. “I’m gonna sound like the sappiest person on the planet for saying this, but-”

Robin squeezes his thigh. “I’ll go get him.”

A minute later, a different kind of warmth is settling next to him. “I’m gonna be honest,” Eddie starts, “I don’t really know how to help right now.”

Steve sits up and squeezes Alli’s hand, accepting the forehead kiss before she leaves, closing his door behind her. Without looking, Steve takes Eddie’s hand. He leans his head back against his bed and shuts his eyes with a tired sigh. “Just sit here with me?”

“I can do that,” Eddie answers. “D’you want silence? Or d’you want me to talk?”

“Talk,” Steve decides. “Take my mind off of it. Please.”

“Sure,” Eddie says, shifting up onto his knees, but leaving his hand in Steve’s so he can continue to play with the rings. Steve’s heart squeezes. “But what to talk about? Shall I regale you with the tale of how the illustrious Party defeated the monstrous Vecna? Or perhaps my liege requires a softer tale, such as one from his humble bard’s even humbler youth?”

Steve manages a smile as he looks at Eddie. “You’d tell me embarrassing stories of you as a kid?”

“Woah now,” Eddie smiles, “I never said embarrassing.” He pauses for a minute, then, “But yeah, I’d tell you embarrassing stories of me as a kid.”

Steve bites his lip, twirls a ring around Eddie’s finger, and nods.

Eddie chuckles and gets comfortable, sitting next to Steve, shoulders and arms and legs brushing. “Alright, let me think. Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to tame a raccoon?”

“No.”

“I was probably twelve, or somewhere around there. Way too old to try, I definitely knew better, but I tried anyways. I’d just started living with Wayne and still wasn’t really sure if I belonged, y’know? And there was this raccoon that lived under the porch, y’know that boarded-up place right about where the couch is?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it lived under there. That’s why it’s boarded up, actually, but that happened later. So I decided, in all my twelve-year-old wisdom, the way to lure it out was to offer it food.”

Steve hums. “Bet it worked.”

Eddie snickers. “Well, yeah, but raccoons are smart. Smarter than twelve-year-old Eddie, apparently, because I had the bright idea to hide just inside the door, right? Except I got bored before it came out, and I went to go do my own thing, and I completely forgot about it. And y’know what Wayne found when he got home from work?” Steve hums. “An empty plate. I’m talking spotless, Stevie, that raccoon licked it clean and hid back in its hidey-hole. So I try again the next day. This time, though, I leave the plate of food out there and sit in front of the open door with a book.”

“Oh, I’m sure that worked well,” Steve mutters, smile playing at his lips.

Eddie snickers. “Well, it did work. I did get a chance to see the raccoon, up close and personal. It decided it was done taking food off the plate. It wanted the good stuff, in the kitchen, past the open door, guarded by a twelve-year-old with more ideas than sense and a book.”

“Oh no.”

“Yup. Ran straight past me. Y’know what I did?”

Steve’s grinning now. “What?”

“Hid in my room ‘till Wayne got back.”

Steve barks out a laugh, then covers his mouth, still giggling. “You didn’t!”

“I did! I was sure Wayne was gonna take one look at the mess and kick me out. We had a talk, alright, but he didn’t kick me out, and I never tried that again, I’ll tell you right now.”

Steve giggles more. “You’re crazy.”

Eddie grins, nudges Steve’s shoulder with his own. “Yeah, but you’re feeling better, aren’t you?”

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@l0st-strawberry

#stranger things #if I should stay #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #Robin Buckley #platonic stobin #Allison Harrington #thankfully the raccoon story came from my mind #I don’t know anyone who’s done that #though to be honest I wouldn’t be particularly surprised if someone had done it before #fix it #fix it fic #time travel #time travel fic #time travel fix it #time travel fix it fic #starambles

[overtake]

red bull: daniel’s bad habits from mclaren are fixed, he did well in the sim, and his tire test was so good that we immediately knew he was ready to be in a car.

alpha tauri & yuki: daniel’s feedback on the car has been instrumental, and he performed so well in difficult race conditions even though he didn’t have any upgrades and had some bad luck.

rando twitter user who doesn’t have the data, didn’t know liam lawson’s name three weeks ago, and constantly insults the way red bull quickly drops drivers who don’t perform: they’re only letting him drive for pr even though he’s a washed up failure.

#like is red bull too harsh on their drivers or are they hiring a pr merchant who can’t perform. pick a side. #it’s just hilarious that every single person who actually knows the sport & daniel’s data/contributions #won’t shut up about how helpful he’s been and how well he’s done and how mclaren doesn’t reflect his performance #but these random people on twitter think they know better #and their excuse is ‘well liam scored points’ as if he isn’t driving a different car entirely lmfao #like liam has done well! i like liam a lot! #but he’s benefited from a better car/things happening around him in the race/not being head to head against yuki #he’s done a great job but there’s literally been ZERO real head to head comparison between the 3 drivers #but alpha tauri/red bull rate daniel and they have his data and know what hes done for the car & setup #i don’t ever deny that daniel’s popularity certainly doesn’t hurt #but they dropped nyck like he was nothing #red bull axes anyone who can’t perform #if daniel couldn’t do it then he wouldn’t have a seat. not that hard to understand. #people on the internet make me feral. i cannot use the internet. i need to stick to my curated feeds bc everyone is so STUPID.

[decaffeinatedpartymuggoop]

Okay, we all know being a demigod is a shit position. Its scary and gets you killed in really nasty ways. But I feel like being a Big Three Kid has to be the shitiest position in all the shit positions.

Like, imagine being Thalia Grace. Your dad is king of the gods, lord of the skies. Led a war to get rid of a tyrant. And the only thing you get is his scorned wife AND brother, who both try to kill you (with one technically succeeding), a drunk of a mother, and brother who you thought was dead. Oh, wait, he’s not dead! No instead he was used as an offering to appease your dad’s wife and help fight in a war and prevent mass destruction.

Or maybe you can imagine being Percy. Son of the sea god, the stormbringer, the earthshaker. You get to live with a disgusting, abusive man for around 6 years. Who smells like literal shit. All because your scent as a demigod is too strong, BECAUSE of who your father is. You see things that you aren’t supposed to see and do things that people can’t do and go years thinking something is wrong with you. That your the problem. Then you get to the one place where you’re supposed to be save. But! Here is the kicker! You’re not! Your uncles hate you and you’ve been accused of stealing a symbol of power. A series of events that will kick off a war, and guess what. You’re a center point for it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.

Mhm, but then there’s Hazel. Daughter Pluto, god of the underworld and riches. But that doesn’t really change anything does it? She’s still living in 1930s America, in a red state. One where confederate flags still hang if you go deep enough into the city. She go to a school where the kids are supposed to be just like her! They still don’t like her tho. She’s got no idea who your father is, only that he left her with a parting gift. Only it’s not really a gift. Sure, she can pull rubies and diamonds from the earth, all worth millions. But anyone who’s ever gonna touch it will die. She lives with her mother, a woman gone so mad with greed it kills her. And Hazel, by the way. Laying dead Alaska, inhaling oil. But it doesn’t end there! She can’t have her mother suffering for eternity, can she? The answer is no. Hazel gets to spend the next 70 years in the Fields of Asphodel. It still doesn’t end! Because when she’s brought back to life, she gets to fight in a war against giants, her sad story seemingly never ending.

Nico’s a son of one of the Big Three, one of the most ancient and most powerful. But most people look at him as something bad, something not worth taking a second glance at. Something too look away from, mostly. He’s from the 30s, spent years in a magical time casino with only his sister at his side. She doesn’t stay for long though, she dies soon after they discover their heritage. And he doesn’t remember his mother much, a name without a face. A face without a name. He survived an attempted assassination at 2, though it wouldn’t be the only time his was life was threatened. He clings to his sister, even though she’s dead. He’s the son of the god of the underworld, is he not? There had to be a way, and there is. Only she won’t talk to him, she seems more concerned with communicating with the guy who got her killed instead. She chooses rebirth, and he decides to lay it to rest. She’s not coming back, and he has a war to fight in. (He gets stuck in a jar and forcibly outed a few years later, but that’s a lot to get into for now.)

Jason Grace is a pillar of New Rome, their golden boy, their American boy. He’s a son of Jupiter, a natural born leader. He’s been at camp for as long as he can remember, he wants to be praetor soon. He’s had a rocky start, but maybe he’ll be one of the lucky ones. Retire a veteran and live a long life with Reyna in New Rome. Only that never happened. He has no idea where he is, there’s a girl holding his hand, and she’s cute but it feels wrong. They get attacked and people come in and call him a Greek demigod, familiar, yes, but still wrong. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t put things into perspective the way it does for Piper and Leo. He’s goes to a quest to rescue Hera, the name sounds wrong. He nearly dies but at least he remembers who he is. He spends the next 6 months trying to get back home, even though he isn’t too sure on where or what home is. He gets there, eventually, but it doesn’t stop there. He’s dragged on quests and battles and fights in the war but at least he survives it, he’s still there. Apollo needs help, he and Piper give him aid. He gets dumped. He doesn’t get to he a veteran in New Rome. Not with Reyna, not with Piper, not with anybody. He doesn’t get kids or grandkids. No, he gets shot down, another demigod buried.

You could be any one of them, really. Pick your poison, but I guarantee you won’t like any of them. Spending years trying to find a place where you belong, where you feel safe. Only for it to never come.

Percy, who, if you really look at the books, isn’t really all that well liked until he’s at least 2 years into camp. Only to then be sidelined because the courages, brave, fearless daughter of Zeus is back from the dead. Nico, the son of one of the most feared and hated gods. Who has death written all over him, who excludes it so much animals can smell it and humans can sense it, who’s been ostracized and pushed off to the side since he was 10. Hazel, who was treated like disease as soon as she stepped foot on camp soil. Who’s gone her whole life looked as something that’s cursed, that will only bring misfortune, a bad omen.

Shit positions, all of them.

#Hazel and Jason make my head spin #also jaosn and Percy #I like how they both in a way didn’t want glory or to be some hero #i don’t think Jason mentions it much but they kids and grandkids mention in BOO is very telling #Percy’s is from the musical but whatever we all know the musical is canon #and show Percy thinking something is wrong with him and that he needs a mental evaluation of some kind is #everything #I’m making that canon now #I’d love to get a Thalia book #a trilogy maybe #first book is her with her mom and Jason + Luke and Annabeth on the run #ending with her dying #2nd book takes place after her resurrection and during the the war #final book is life with the hunters #and how she found peace in a world designed for her to struggle #I feel like out of all of them big three kids she’s the only one who got her happy ending #and in the fandom the hunters have gotten the reputation of being where Rick puts characters that can’t be shipped with anyone #but I really don’t think it’s the case with her #she’s also one of the only demigods where I think her story has come to a close #like it’s done #Percy’s story is almost done too #Nico and Hazel I feel aren’t quite there yet #percy jackson #thalia grace #hazel levesque #jason grace #nico di angelo #pjo hoo toa #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians

[starbuck]

we talk a lot about “escaping the narrative,” but keep in mind that the frightening thing about escape is the chance you might end up someplace worse.

#hello. i have been listening to Maize Stalk Drinking Blood for like an hour now #you could ask me about how it’s about ~10 different brbabcs characters - but i wouldn’t tell you because i am Shy ✌🏻 #it Is tho :)) #ANYWAYS #that’s a Ravenous 1999 quote for those who don’t know #but inspired by my currently line of thinking which is that for SOME of the brbabcs characters - there was never any better alternative #not that there wasn’t morally or logically but they quite literally COULDN’T have done anything else than what they did #not because The Narrative Is Controlling Them or whatever - but because they are Fucked In The Head #we might see potential ‘better endings’ for them #but those were completely unattainable bc making any choices other than the terrible ones they made would have killed them anyway #because they couldn’t have stood for it #which is what makes it such an excellent tragedy #also to any moralistic weirdos out there: this isn’t me morally justifying anyone - this is me going :(( #learn the difference and embrace the Tragic Narrative <33

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

like, genuinely. taking accountability for your actions in perpetuation of abuse and rape culture is the first step to changing that culture. it doesn’t make you a bad person just because you did a bad thing (unless you were intentionally trying to cause harm) but you have to admit you are not immune to accidentally supporting the bad thing and take accountability for that. if you supported george's statements on sexual harassment, or dream's sexual jokes towards minors, or sapnap getting paid money to stream on a platform which openly harbours rapists and sex abusers, you've been a part of keeping the environment that makes it hard for victims to have come out. if you started believing in anti-victim sentiments and harassed other abuse victims for talking about how it made them uncomfortable, you’ve supported this environment. if you assumed anyone uncomfortable with your streamer or trying to talk out against them was inherently lying solely because it was your streamer, you helped support an enviroment that fostered abusers.

and that sounds harsh, and I’m sorry. but it’s true. and to a degree, I think everyone in this community has done that with people at one point in their lives. it's very easy to be manipulated, but it’s also very easy to be wilfully blind, and that’s not something irredeemable or a permanent stain. you can change, but you need to identify in yourself what caused you to act like that and make a conscious change. it’s healthier for you and it’s healthier for the environment. if we want to avoid this in the future, we need to be proactive in calling out actual potentially harmful behaviour, even if it’s from someone you like. or we will continue to harbour mass amount of abusers.

most content creators are not abusers. most, to be honest, are awkward introverted nerds with social anxiety. at least, that’s what i've got from the ones my brother knows (and that includes some big ccs). but while they’re a huge part of it bc being in front of a camera instead of people is a huge draw, there’s another draw that attracts a less savoury crowd- and that’s the position of power. and unless you’re willing to listen and be kind to genuine, serious criticism of harmful actions, and ccs are willing to do the same, abuse and sexual assault WILL continue to be normalised in these spaces. it is not your sole responsibility, but it IS a responsibility to make sure to avoid that now you know the possibilities aggressively attacking any criticism can hide. caiti had to deal with people with her abusers face threaten her for speaking negatively towards him. do not let that happen again.

#obviously not every dteam stan or member of dtblr knew #you aren’t accountable if you genuinely didn’t know about any of these things or did try and speak out about them #but the amount of people I’ve seen who posted abuse apologism acting like there was nothing they could have done and like. #I’m sorry. I sympathise with you but there was something you could have done #And that was not leap on anyone who said anything slightly negative about dream george or Sapnap #this isn’t like wilbur who didn’t have widespread criticism for stuff like this #at least to my knowledge- it very much seems like he made sure to have any of that show in ways that were easy to write off as bits #but these. aren’t. these aren’t bits these were things that these people did in serious situations. #Punz too I guess but idk if anyone did that with him #this isn’t drama this isn’t discourse this is real peoples lives. don’t treat them like blorbo in your shows.

[timelordinefficiency]

“You know, the Doctor. He’s wonderful. He’s brilliant, but he’s like fire. Stand too close and people get burned.”

#10th doctor #doctor who #martha jones #the master #thoschei #i don’t know if anyone’s done this

[fluffypotatey]

*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*

PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????

I have. So many Feels. About Themst™

The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????

Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.

If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.

Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.

Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Hate is love that's gone rotten.

“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK

WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)

(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)

OK OK SO

we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?

F+ father of the year :)

he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:

(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)

also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)

UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.

UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?

not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!

UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.

ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana

now, about the double edged blade…..

as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse

way #1

i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)

MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?

early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2

MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!

MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?

UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA  As many as it takes!

to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.

the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.

ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)

way #2

compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)

ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.

ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.

we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them

(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)

on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.

notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀

however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse

looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)

AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.

UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!

so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here

Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).

so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.

OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic

sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)

when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)

however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.

[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]

anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.

SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)

^worried/protective Morgana

^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers

Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).

that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.

it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.

like honestly,

look at them T^T compared to before

their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.

fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.

like fuck, man

two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood

screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite

#i will spare you the gorey details of me trying to fine decent screencaps & screenshots for this fucking post or else i’ll get pissed again #(i am considering whether it is worth it to go to war with youtube) #special thanks to my bestie mor for being there for me at the gorey times and helping me find more screenshots #fucking love you bestie 💕💕💕💕 #also only including s1-2 bc i am tired and they are the ones where we get pendragon siblings not trying to kill each other #forgive me for always bringing up uther and the pendragon sibs’ upbringing with him it will happen again #also after hours of rereading transcripts and rewatching clips of bbc merlin: it is so obvious that uther cared and treated Morgana like hi #own child more than Arthur. like jfc he let’s her get away with so much stuff he is way for gentle with his words towards her #when he realizes that he was too cruel or rude like bro…..where tf was that for arthur #it just adds to the complicated sibling dynamic because there is the added jealousy and resentment of knowing a parent loved another more #literally most of Morgana’s time with Uther was her at odds with him and yet he views her as his child more #well no ducking dur that Arthur ‘i-would-do-anything-to-receive-my-father’s-love-attention-and-pride’ Pendragon resents Morgana for #always being the one Uther goes easier on and finds ways to turn a blind eye for like wtf #also during my research i was reminded of how done dirty Gwen’s story was by bbc #loses her father to a king fearful of magic barely gets to mourn him bc she now has to keep up the smithy and her maid job; reunites #with her brother who’s been AWOL for some years and still they don’t get a moment to talk about their dad and mourn TOGETHER #her storyline is pushed aside by s4 bc now she’s fulfilling the role of Arthur’s love interest and oh yeah they still need to incorporate #the lanceot/guinevere scandal and then banish her for some episodes without even letting her brother be mad about it like ????? #anyway #continued saga of fluffy rereading transcripts -> uther: ‘it’s been a long time since Ygraine…since anyone’ me: ducking liar >:( #[sir leon begins the slow clap] king you dropped this 👑IT IS 1AM HELP 😂 #place your bets on where my laziness for evidence came in! (I honestly don’t know lol scavenging evidence is all a blur) #spent 2 days on this post lol #me: ok i think that’s enough evidence for this argument…………ok maybe ONE more won’t hur— #me after day 2: ….am i done???? am i free???? #pendragon siblings coming behind me with a steel chair: nah mate! #me: FUCK THERE’S MORE #bbc merlin #merlin meta #pendragon sibs

[stizzysupremacy]

…

#like okay I refuse to shit on anyone’s queer rep parade #and apparently so does everyone else who agrees with me #because I see so many posts about the alleged healthiness of Stede and Ed’s relarionship #and I know I am not crazy. nor am I alone in thinking ‘what healthy relationship???’ #in the finale they are At Best taking their first solid steps towards a healthy relationship #but they haven’t achieved that shit yet. they are actually still the men who didn’t talk to each other. who ran away from each other. #you want to hope for the best. but it throws me off when ppl act like what we got was the best #posts like ‘oh even when he is furious enough to smash a chair into a wall he still wouldn’t hurt stede’ #the scene that reveals that Atede didn’t explain anything and Ed didn’t allow himself the closure of hearing explanations really should be #NOT considered evidence of healthy relationship #okay I’m done I just get sick of seeing that gifset with its reblogs saying that and #’oh they did so well balancing the inherent violence of pirates against healthy relationships’ #girl WHAT healthy relationship?? there’s not a single damn person at that dinner table that knows what a healthy relationship is! #(wait. forgot about Buttons) #(I want to ship these two losers but I want to ship it for the cringefail ongoing train wreck it is #not the perfect queer happily-ever-after-SOMEHOW fairy tale that I don’t think canon supports)

[the-abyssal-system]

Other people in the system changing their names: *picks a name they like with relatively little difficulty*

Me, extraordinarily bad at this apparently: what about air? Air can be a name right?

#someone please help me #I seriously came up with air as an idea #it’s bad #my name right now is honestly kind of a placeholder since we’ve got so many doctor who fictives and we can’t all call ourselves the doctor #but I’ve been fronting more recently and kind of want to change it #anyway if anyone sees this and reads through my rant and you have name suggestions please give me some #(I’m a gender-fluid eighth doctor fictive if that helps at all) #(I’ll take any suggestions though vaguely gender neutral might be preferrable) #(but I don’t like a lot of the basic human gender neutral names though idk why you would have non human ones to suggest but who knows) #(I think I’m done ranting so hi if you made it this far) #system #pdid #pdid system #did #osdd #actually dissociative #did osdd #osddid #fictive #introject

[creamecream]

Scaramouche: “Fine. In light of what you did today, you can hug me for four-to-five seconds.”

Tartaglia: “FOURTY FIVE SECONDS!?!?!”

Scaramouche: “NO.”

Tartaglia, already smothering Scaramouche: “No backsies!”

#I don’t like either of them and this is the only acceptable ship with either of them impo #I was doing scaramouche’s questline bit and my game station overheated mid boss fight #I *just* want to roll nahida all for getting a finally complete god squad #I’ve had klee as a stand in for another archon for so long long before nahida came out #I’ve sure someone has done this before with them #but I you know have stuff of especially the orange one blacklisted so I don’t see them #sorry anyone who likes them I just very much don’t! but I think this ship is valid af #genshin impact #scaramouche #the wanderer #wanderer #tartaglia x scaramouche #childe x scaramouche #chiscara #tartamouche #tartaglia #childe

[spectrum-color]

Poll time! This was inspired by some things I’ve seen recently about different alternate outcomes for the end of Fools Fate. I considered giving this multiple answers, but I think it’s better as a yes or no. When you answer, assume that it’s not that Fitz talked Beloved out of leaving or anything like that, but that separating (and with it the question of actively choosing between him and Molly) never came up to begin with.

#realm of the elderlings #rote #fitzchivalry farseer #the fool #molly chandler #anyone who knows me knows I would vote no #but I’m not gonna go into my reasoning so I don’t sway the vote too much #I will when it’s done

[quirinah]

oomf was talking about this combi and I remembered the season 25 episode where they interact for like 30 seconds. and then i got progressively more invested

#quirinahdraws #WHATEVERRRR *exploding* #nintama #nintama rantarou #忍たま乱太郎 #rkrn #nanamatsu koheita #tachibana senzou #i don’t know if i actually do ship them romantically but it’s a very fun idea to think about #Listen Listen Listen. Can anyone hear me. i just think koheita is way smarter than he looks (crazy person) #BUT REALLY. he’s quite knowledgeable and he’s very sincere and good and reading people but he’s also super intuitive #and makes most of his decisions on the spot based on how he reads a situation and how he feels so he’s difficult to keep up with #it would just be fun to see senzou whos also really smart! but likes being in control and looking unflappable and perfect #falling for a guy who he can’t read but who’s super sincere and encouraging nevertheless… (forlorn) #HE SAW THROUGH SABUROU’S DISGUISE OF SENZOU IN THE 5TH YEARS VS 6TH YEARS ARC CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEEE (is dragged offstage) #こへ仙 #kohesen #but i think they would be a fun duo nevertheless! I can’t write dialogue but i saw someone way long ago talking about how it would be fun t #see senzou as the planner/espionage kind of strategist and koheita as the guy who gets in and gets stuff done… #OR PLANNING TOGETHER I can’t write dialogue but I like to think about koheita already having assessed the circumstance and just #cooking up a plan on the fly… #I do think senzou is kind of like monjirou where he’s a little bit of a softie at heart but he isn’t around koheita all the time like monji #so it might be fun to see him more flustered/being unable to read kohe….i want to see them get along too…. (crazy person) #digital

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap #bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU #lol idk why my head is so bad today #the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it #i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!! #but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do #oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse #sorry guys needed to rant #the inadequacy was strong today #something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like #i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me. #and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but #my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m #missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids #who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me #for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just— #sorry #that felt good actually #idk what came over me #imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags #sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh #okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is

[ineffablelunatics]

Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #I don’t know if anyone’s done this #doctor who #david tennant

[littledoggyboy]

So this is like. The second time this has happened to me um. Just because we play and talk a lot and stuff, it does not mean we are dating. Unless you have a specific conversation with me about being in a relationship, then we are not in one. Please stop assuming!

#I care very very much about the people who have done this. #so don’t think I’m mad at you #it’s just reeeeeally anxiety inducing when I have to like #let you know that we’re Not dating #cuz I really don’t wanna hurt anyone #so just like #pls don’t assume #and if you’re one of the people who did this #PLEASE dont take this post personally #I just want to make sure it doesn’t happen again

[yin-yanglulu]

Top ten weirdest skylanders facts: the fact that Flynn’s va got an Annie Award nomination for his performance in Academy S3

#skylanders #for those that don’t know: the Annies are basically the Oscars for animated movies and tv shows #so this is pretty fucking wild #the fact that it lists his performance in just part one of the series finale and not the episode fully dedicated to Flynn is even funnier #academy may have done him dirty with his design and most of his personality #but his voice performance was still as good as it was in the games #tbh if Flynn were voiced by literally anyone else he wouldn’t be as iconic or as memorable #which is why I’m glad he was one of the few characters who didn’t get a random ass celebrity voice casting #bc I think people prob would have complained if he did get replaced by some celebrity like other characters #bc why was Eruptor voiced by one of the guys from breaking bad?! #‘We gotta rebuild the core of light waltuh!’