#I feel so alone and abandoned

[ohno-the-sun]

They used to be so close

#luca au #sundrop #fnaf daycare attendant #moondrop #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #my art #babies I love dearly #I feel like glaze really ruins the quality but alas #poor moon was all alone #so many abandonment issues #the chapter this month is gonna unfortunately be late #cause irl stuff is getting busy #but it is in the works #almost done really

[hanzajesthanza]

“what does geralt get from that friendship…”

another post examining the weight of geralt and dandelion’s friendship… because i don’t think people recognize how painful and debilitating loneliness can become.

the witcher as a deconstruction of the genre takes fantasy tropes to their most logical ends—it asks us to consider what The Lone Swordsman feels, looks into the humanity in a Cold-Blooded Killer. and it turns out he’s not cold-blooded at all.

that despite some superhuman abilities, he laments and worries and curses himself, just like any other worker of any other profession. just as the farmer is scorched by the sun, the washerwoman’s back aches, and the scholar goes half-blind studying, a witcher deals with all of the pains and annoyances and dangers of his job in a mundanely human way.

but the farmer, the washerwoman, and the scholar have something the witcher does not have—they’ll always be seen as human and part of their society. at the end of the day after enduring all of their labor, they have their wife to caress, festivities to attend, and taverns to frequent. but for a witcher? after the killing is over, what does he have? no one and nothing. not even a thank you. he is met with fear and hatred everywhere he goes, baseless bigotry and dislike.

I did my job. I quickly learned how. I’d ride up to village enclosures or town pickets and wait. If they spat, cursed and threw stones, I rode away. If someone came out to give me a commission, I’d carry it out.

so he faces not just loneliness, but being deliberately ostracized and cast out from society. geralt can’t even find a polite word in most settlements, much less a friend.

‘(…) Tell me, where should I go? And for what? At least here some people have gathered with whom I have something to talk about. People who don’t break off their conversations when I approach. People who, though they may not like me, say it to my face, and don’t throw stones from behind a fence. (…)’

this kind of loneliness is not a mere inconvenience. it’s completely altering to your self-perception and ability to see the positive in the world.

each day is not lived, but endured.

day in, and day out—forced to the most difficult and lowest labor in order to survive, and knowing that were you to die, no one would search for your body, few would miss you, hell, they might even spit “good riddance”.

in this situation, to find a friend, is not only friendship, but a rescue.

without dandelion, geralt may have drowned—drowned in solitude, amidst a sea of strangeness.

‘(…) And I’m alone, completely alone, endlessly alone among the strange and hostile elements. Solitude amid a sea of strangeness. Don’t you dream of that?’

No, I don’t, he thought. I have it every day.

because dandelion is not only a bright soul, characteristic rippling laughter and the strum of a lute, but someone who will intently listen to geralt, someone who mutually enjoys his company.

‘(…) you almost jumped out of your pants with joy to have a companion. Until then, you only had your horse for company.’

someone who doesn’t see him as strange and at the fringes of society at all, but as an utterly normal man.

and doesn’t impose demeaning, sappy sympathy onto him, but sobering and realistic “quit your bullshit” which ridicules the very thought that he should internalize societal hatred.

Do you know what your problem is, Geralt? You think you’re different. (…) [You don’t understand that] for people who think clear-headedly you’re the most normal man under the sun, and they all wish that everybody was so normal. What of it that you have quicker reflexes than most and vertical pupils in sunlight? That you can see in the dark like a cat? That you know a few spells? Big deal.

dandelion isn’t “willing” to accept geralt for himself—he already has accepted him. and to him, it’s no difficulty, it’s nothing worth discussing, because he sees no abnormality and no strangeness in him.

while others “prefer the company of lepers to witchers,” dandelion has already offered geralt to share his room and board. not out of sympathetic pity, not out of fetishizing curiosity. because… they’re friends.

and what else does this friendship save him from?

not only from others, but from himself.

worse than enduring others’ apathy and hatred is one’s own thoughts—the darkness and negativity which builds from witnessing and experiencing such behavior.

dandelion’s ability to counter and dispel geralt’s pessimism and self-flagellating tendencies—again, not out of pity, but out of friendship—is undeniably invaluable. someone to rescue you from your darkest thoughts, when you begin to spiral.

and in this darkness, all you can do is cry. you cry, beg for someone to help you, please—

Help! Why doesn't anyone help me? Alone, weak, helpless – I can't move, can't force a sound from my constricted throat. Why does no one come to help me? I'm terrified!

to be alone, the saga reminds us, is worse than a death sentence. to be alone is to “perish; stabbed, beaten or kicked to death, defiled, like a toy passed from hand to hand.” to be alone is to suffer, and to be with someone is to save them from that suffering.

'(…) I wouldn't like anything bad to happen to you. I like you too much, owe you too much-'

'You've said that already. What do you owe me, Yennefer?'

The sorceress turned her head away, did not say anything for a while.

'You travelled with him,' she said finally. 'Thanks to you he was not alone. You were a friend to him. You were with him.'

it is true that geralt has saved dandelion countless times, helped him, gotten him out of some scrape… but to ask what did geralt get in return? are you kidding me?

did you ever consider that it is dandelion who saved geralt?

by being with him. by being by his side. by being his friend.

indeed, dandelion has rescued geralt, countless times, from the yawning jaws of endless loneliness. he’s helped him, chased away the danger of geralt’s own rumination. and he’s gotten him out of scrapes, his own insecurities and bitter helplessness.

so what does dandelion give geralt? what does geralt get from their friendship?

an amusing question. what one gets from friendship is the friendship itself. and that is more than enough.

#the witcher books #gerlion #geralt of rivia #dandelion #jaskier #the parallels with ciri’s story makes me so emotional like… #ciri is just geralt but younger and alone. and thus she suffers so immensely #i included ciri’s nightmare because i think that’s how it feels to be alone #you just cry out ‘help! why won’t someone help me?’ and no one answers #and the funny bit is that everyone is like ‘ugh you cannot get RID of dandelion’ like #i think that’s the most comforting and relieving thing about him. he will never leave and abandon geralt. #there is nothing geralt *would* or *could* do to ever push him away #the kind of friendship where you never worry about being too ‘weird’ for them because they straight up dont care if youre weird #honestly idk how more people dont see them like this because i feel like loneliness is so pervasive right now #does everyone else just have this kind of best friend and for that reason take dandelion’s presence for granted #s: i want to be by your side #c: geralt #c: dandelion #excerpt #analysis #like. this is how it is: #the entire world: ‘you’re nothing you’re worthless and you’re inhuman’ #dandelion is NOT like ‘omgggg of course you are something 🥺🥺 pwease don’t think badly like that’ #no. he’s like ‘the hell? that’s the stupidest thing ive ever heard. why the hell are you even listening to that’ #dandelion has a kind of masculine energy that the fandom does not like lmao

[monprecieuxx]

See the thing is, to me, Twins at the heart of it has become about loneliness. Regardless of how much they’re explored or present on screen, every character is so painfully alone. By choice, by circumstances, by accident, just so crippingly lonely.

Sprite is alone by circumstance. He’s alone because no one prefers him, alone because Zee is a better bearer of their mother’s expectations. He’s the older twin and overlooked and he still tries, my goodness he tries so hard that it makes me wonder how anyone in his life can see that and not adore him to pieces. He’s so lonely he thinks his brother’s known nemesis is his closest confidant. In this team full of people who hate the one who wears his face he would rather tackle trying to befriend First, that it is the best choice. Idk if it’s naïveté or just unchallenged confidence he built up as a way to survival but it’s so audacious, it’s kind of brilliant.

And it works, it wears First down, he manages to get these people to like him but at the end of the day, it’s not him they like. This timed repose of belonging but only when he is standing in for someone else. Holding onto Zee’s life while his falls to pieces and for what? No credit, no appreciation, not even a hint of understanding from his mother, his father, even Salmon or Tan.

First is similar in the sense of never getting afforded the favouritism Zee enjoys from his father and his sister being a Zee stan just adds salt to the wound. The only people who prefer him are the team and even then they are so factioned he’s part of the in-group and still stands alone.

Zee, see Zee is so interesting to me cause his loneliness is self-inflicted. Maybe it started when the twins were split, maybe when he became part of the team we don’t know. We’ve only seen the worst parts of him until now and he seems to be content functioning in that window too. He’s thrust into this life w/o any input, seems to be doing it right and he’s still miserable. He has the recognition, he allegedly has the skill, he (undeservedly, in a way) has the girl and he still vows to take over Sprite’s life? And do what? Wreak havoc as him? Permanently replace him? Just hang around to fuck w/Sprite?

Idk where im going w/this, just ruminating about characters from this silly twin swap show.

#i find the twins' relationship fascinating #we don't even know what sprite feels towards zee even though he's literally doing so much for him #is there resentment? on sprite's side for never being chosen #on zee's side for in a sense being abandoned in the rigidity of their mother's guardianship when sprite promised to keep him safe? #im sure someone in the tag has said most of this already #and my scatterbrained ramblings are not known for being coherent let alone valuable insights #but hey when on a fandom tumblr blog yk? #twins the series #dae.txt

[silverskye13]

Listening to "Look My Way" on repeat while writing the next chapter is healthy and will not affect me (or the chapter) in any way I'm sure.

#spazzcat barks #the barking writer #unless its me? #and no matter what in this world i could give #its not enough? #to get through the walls youve conjured up to live #is this how youd feel? #abandoned all alone and left to fend for yourself? #for some semblence of happiness that doesnt have to end #i will try to make amends for making you means to an end #so look my way please look my way #and if theres something more that i dont know #ill save us both before we grow cold #if youll stay and just say 'look my way' #[loud off key singing fades into the distance]

[psychofreakforc]

Just thought about sam coming back from work one day with a cute little cat because tara always wanted one.

Christina and Mr. Carpenter had no intention of taking care of another creature, so they never got one. The closest thing tara got to a pet was a small teddy bear plushie sam won for her when they were kids.

But today, on her way back home from work, sam saw a cute kitty on the sidewalk. She saw its cute brown eyes begging her not to leave, they reminded her a lot of tara's. Then she noticed that the little cat had a small scar on its paw (just like her little sister), and that's when she decided this cat was meant to be theirs.

Sam has noticed that tara has been feeling lonely lately, chad and mindy are coming over less often because chad is still recovering and mindy is spending time taking care of her brother and sam is always at work or at therapy.

Maybe a cute little friend would be helpful.

#as someone that is often left at home alone and as a cat owner i can confirm that my 4 little kitties make me feel a lot less lonely #so this is pretty much based on that #also sam will definitely become a little bit jealous of how much attention tara gives the cat #and the cat is called mia from now on (just like mine) #AND IT'S A VERY GOOFY CAT #and because of that tara loves her even more and makes her feel like she's a kid all over again #mia has abandonment issues just like tara. So they both they never leave each other's sides #tara carpenter #sam carpenter #carpenter sisters

[silenthillbunni]

i fucking HATE ppl who abandon their pets when they move. literally go choke on nails and screws

#it's shocking how normal it is #they move and then just leave their cats dog bunnies behind #so sick #they need to be put on a list and banned from ever having pets again #if u dont count your pet as your family you should not have one #i feel so sad thinking abt all of these pets who are abandoned by their families :((( #bc even if humans suck so fkn much those animals see them as their family #they're often just left in the house and just stay put confused and alone around it #so fucking awful #rndz

[summertimemusician]

Linktober Day 6

Mask(s)

Soft and sweet with just a hint of melancholic because 1.I'm tired and probably need a nap father than coffee, 2.I actually managed to make a pretty good mocha and the Anchorage LOZ animatic came onto my playlist before writing this and it kind of influenced my mood, and 3. I'm saving the usual Majora's Mask flare of angst for another prompt because I was having way too much fun dissecting the tragedy of the Hero of Time before sleep deprivation snatched the idea away which is usually my sign to pass the heck out and save the second option for when I have more energy lol.

For the Warriors fans, also Warriors is a disaster of an older sibling but we adore and appreciate him for it in this household, as always can be implied romantic or platonic between him and reader.

You were all but pinned down to the ground, brought down more effectively and unable to find the strength to get up.

Well, not literally, there were no enemies nearby, the chaos at camp had long since died down and there wasn’t anything much to do now that night had fallen, the heavens deigning to put all of it’s glittering jewels on display.

Were it any other day you’d probably focus more on appreciating it in full, the fire was crackling merrily, you were safe and had a full stomach and even with the ever present threat of the Shadow possibly deciding to ambush you all while most of your guards were down, you had your boys with you and the crisp autumn petrichor was a balm on your soul, weary from the journey.

Maybe it would be fine to rest for a little while.

And then the small figure clinging to you flinched, burrowing closer and holding onto your tunic like a lifeline. And awareness came to you like a smack over the head with a log, your fingers gently carding through blond locks as you hum gently. Weighting options and just how quietly you could move without bothering the precious Sprite at your side.

You had guessed Time had been a sweet kid, and you still wanted to lodge a formal complaint with the gods for writing such cruel fate for him because the man couldn’t catch a break and you’re not the only one to take it personally. But he was killing you here, this is how you die, with an adorable but oh so heartbreakingly sad little boy having fallen asleep leaning against you after telling you all sorts of stories about his extensive mask collection.

(You don’t know wether you want to cry, scream or laugh, Mask was so, so young. It breaks your heart, just a little.

Really, the deities of Hyrule must adore tragedies. Bastards.)

Sighing, you decide to compromise, gently keeping the Kokiri boy right where he is, fast asleep and with barely any nightmares as you hum and card your fingers through the spun gold strands, you brush your fingers through the last masks he fell asleep mid through telling the story of how he’d acquired. If you were careful surely you’d be able to reach his pack on his side so he wouldn’t worry later.

A pair of brown boots invade your vision, Warriors crouches down. You think you spot a flash of surprise on his eyes as he spots Mask napping on you, and then fond amusement of a big brother you knew he directed often towards Wind, tone low, “Well would you look at that, out like a light. It’s a rare honor for him to trust anyone like this.”

You chuckle a bit, shaking your head, “I can tell, he’s a good kid. I’ve barely met him for a day and I’d already take on an army for him.”

“Welcome to my world.”, comes Warriors dry response, though you both knew he was a hundred percent serious, his own mask quickly falling away as he gently picked up the Deku Sprout Mask to put it back in the small sprite’s pouch, hiding it’s confused, fearful sadness from your gaze (and it’s an effort, not to twitch, as your rage towards Majora gained even more kindling to burn) as the soldier handled it with the due solemnity of being one of the few Mask would allow to even touch the masks without his immediate supervision, “... I never thought I’d see him again, as...”

“I know.” Your tone was quiet, as you carefully picked your choice of words.

If there’s one thing you knew about any Link, is that they’re all really good elder brother’s and that they are too hard on themselves. Warriors specially, Mask and Wind were his everything, there wouldn’t be words that could describe how gutted he was, after confirming his suspicions with you, regretting not saying anything against Mask joining the battle field back then, loathing himself for not convincing him or Lana into letting him stay in spite of his bad feeling that as soon as the young hero of time passed through that portal he was unlikely to ever meet him again.

... You settle for something simple, instead, reaching a hand to softly pat his head, taking care not to mess his hair too much, “You did good, Wars, it’s not your fault. Mask also knows you did your best.”

He still, sighing, the mask falling away as he guides your hand to his lips, quietly thankful (really, like big brother like little brother, your wonderful, silly, caring boys. You make a point to cheerfully bat away the butterflies in your stomach, ), “... Feels hard to believe that, some times. Thank you.”

You hum, after putting the Zora mask away, Warriors takes Mask’s other side, pulls you closer and breathes.

(Just in case, he lies to himself.)

You quietly listen to his stories about his little brother, and Warriors is content.

#linked universe x reader #linked universe warriors x reader #will I ever post the original story I was gonna use for this prompt? #who knows certainly not my sleep deprived self lol #more implied than romantic if you ask me but frankly that's about what I expected when Warriors decided to show up on this prompt #man is the most charming of the Chain but you can't tell me he would know where to begin with any sort of romantic feelings #so lots of unspoken understanding happens here instead so it's up to interpretation lol #Reader: I've had Mask for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I'd murder everyone in Hyrule and then myself. #Warriors. Approving: I know this. And I love you (feeling unspecified). #The Rest of the Chain: And we support you #Is Warriors wanting to be close in reference to the Kohga prompt? #Does he just want Mask and Reader close because he is smart enough to infer what happens to him #Does he just want them there because like all Links he has several abandonment issues? #Who knows! I just know that he is rife with trauma tokens so you all can spin the wheel and decide #Mask is probably Warriors biggest regret and I am going to shake people about it if not stopped #You can't tell me that he wouldn't have wanted to take him in once he learned he was an orphan traveling all alone with his pony in the WoA #All Links are big sibling coded just on different wavelengths #The WoA was just Wars accidentally picking up several feral strays while a war happened in the back #ex Mask Wind Tetra Skull Kid and Linkle #summer writes linktober 2023 #summer writes

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

I drew Ahti II and his never before seen, very best friend Karleeen (three e's is intentional) for Halloween! They're dressed as Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens :) Someone likened Ahti II to Azi once and given that he already had a dark-haired "best friend" who is part edgy animal... it was only natural to have this costume arrangement. Please don't spoil anything about the show though, I am only in the first few episodes of season 1!!

On another note, imagine having to buy pants with eight pant legs. The cost would be insane...

#i almost forgot to post! #self indulgent art post because ahti II and karleeen are my everything <3 #oh my god oh my god they-- you dont get it they-- #they------- #theyre besties and they met when ahti II was looking to be alone in the shoals of the coast and accidentally startled karleeen via jumping- #on a rock in all his fishy glory and theyre both a little bit socially awkward for different reasons and have a hard time being in large - #groups but together theyre so open and carefree and they like hiking and swimming and drawing and they go on little adventures together - #where they have picnics and ahti II loves to dump all his fish knowledge on karleeen and karleeen loves to listen when shes working on - #something and they have each others backs and would in fact fight someone if they insulted the other and karleeen makes ahti II laugh - #so much and he often feels very burdened by his responsibility and like he has to be perfect for the whole world and hes only really - #comfortable talking to karleeen about his woes and he also absolutely listens to karleeens troubles and helps her with her abandonment - #issues and and and---- #theyre in a funny sort of relationship where neither would be opposed to getting married and theyre a little bit in love but theyre happy - #to exist as best friends and just want to see where things go #ummm yeah! yippee !! ahti II lore! i dont talk about that often. thank you for reading! i appreciate that. #ahti II #my art #halloween

[soldier-poet-king]

i want to learn to dance. i want to learn to fight. i want to do something to truly learn to inhabit my body instead of having an uneasy, hateful truce on the best of days, and utter enmity on other days. perhaps i am a creature of the emotion and the mind. but i am a creature still

#this makes no sense but i saw a piece of art with a dancing couple and nearly burst into tears #not even ROMANTIC. it was just fun. joy. swing-ish #i just want to be alive. maybe that is it #the joyful self abandonment that comes with fully inhabiting the self #i want it. i need it #everything costs money and energy that i lack. alas #not to mention im alone. i dont have anyone to go learn dance WITH. am far too awkward and shy with strangers #i love touch but i am touch averse with strangers. idk why. a feral cat instinct perhaps #anyway. fight might be the option here. but still. i want that joy #its a macrocosm of the feeling when youre home alone and cooking with music on full blast #singing and dancing across the kitchen with a joy that can never be captured or explained #i will never be so happy as in those moments #mutuals move in w me i want a platonic dance partner. this is not a romantic overtone i really DO just want to dance #like old timey ppl had some fucked up social mores and we hate gender roles but dance as a social activity. oh they were so right abt that

[bisamwilson]

why do none of the rebels characters or ahsoka have actual personalities anymore,,,,,

#ahsoka is witty!!! she’s a spit fire!!!! not just in clone wars but in rebels too!!!! #in this show she’s a stoic master jedi who makes like no jokes ever!!! who is that!!! #hera’s also a spitfire!!!! and so is sabine!!!! #also there’s no fuckin world where sabine doesn’t have the desert house she lives alone in booby trapped with explosives she controls #much less completely abandoning her armor #she’s a mandalorian!!!!!!!!!! there’s a whole bit in rebels about why her armor is so important to her!!!!! #none of them even really get mad at each other!!! just lightly snippy!!! even with all the supposed history they have!!!! #literally none of them feel like real people with real and big emotions even though we’ve seen them all have them and frequently #especially with something this important #they all feel sanitized and i hate it #stop making characters that were never Perfect Jedi (ahsoka and luke cough) into Perfect Stoic Jedi challenge #disney will always fail this apparently #anyways when will andor return from the war where we get characters who feel like they have real motivations that aren’t just the plot says #that i gotta care about this and do this right now this way #even the new nightsister is boring!!! where’s her flair!!!! why isn’t she terrifying!!!! #star wars #star wars critical #ahsoka critical

[snug-as-bugalugs-in-rugalugs]

Hey fellow Murdochians, I need something new to obsess over :) So if you have the inclination, please reblog this post and put in the tags (or just normal reblogs) a piece of symbolism or parallel or some other kind of connection you noticed in the show that, even if the creators may not have intended it, makes you go a little insane :)

#murdoch mysteries #cbc murdoch #rb game #ok ill go first #ummm im sure this has been said before but other characters giving watts pretzels always seems to symbolize acceptance in one way or other #like when jackson said he 'wasn't interested in anything unusual' and seemed rather disturbed by watts' pretzel #in s10e12 #which is a bit. yk. considering watts is rather 'unusual' himself so to speak #but then in s10e15 when watts is rejected by the only family he has left #and feeling so alone and abandoned #jackson buys an 'unusual' little pretzel anyway for him basically saying like. you may be a weirdo #but we're friends now and i'm here for you #and i think a bit of unusuality might be ok #(tragic that he died before watts ever convinced him to try a pretzel himself hhfdkhfk) #also the inspector giving watts his pretzel back after beating up that guy who was hatecriming him in s15 #obviously symbolizes acceptance of him being gay #and then the most recent one with george at the end of s16 #was right after the 'despite who i am?' 'because of who you are' scene #so i think that's pretty self explanatory lol #there might be other instances but i don't remember #in retrospect the writers may have actually intended this one #its pretty straightforward. but i think its neat

[fromtheseventhhell]

Honestly, If we're talking about female characters who receive misogynistic hate then Lyanna needs to be high up on the list. She gets so much hate for a) her proximity to a male character (Rhaegar) b) the pure fanon that people have invented surrounding her and c) resentment that she's such an important part of the story. And the thing is, for as relevant as she is, we simply do not know enough about her character to justify the hate that she receives. A lot of it is just people inventing reasons to dislike her. I also find it funny that a lot of people who dislike her are Rhaegar antis who characterize their relationship as forced and non-consensual, but then they'll still find reasons to hate her for it. She's supposedly bratty and immature, but also somehow intentionally seductive and evil for "stealing" Rhaegar and hurting Elia 🙄. I wish people would learn to separate canon from fanon when it came to discussing these characters.

#lyanna stark #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #fandom nonsense #people calling her a brat for not wanting to marry robert likeshe's not a womanizing abuser #but I guess fuck female characters who don't sit down shut up and do their duties apparently #if she had married robert then Rhaegar wouldn't have left Elia for a /white/ women so Lyanna got what she deserved right? 🙄 #I guess hating on Rhaegar alone doesn't feel right they need the spice of misogyny to balance things out #we get a lot more of her then other characters in her tier but it's still not so much to justify all of the hate she gets #people who hate on Lyanna can really go to hell cause there's not a single justifiable reason for it #imagine if I said I hated Elia cause she was a horrible wife who pushed Rhaegar into abandoning his marriage? and that if she'd #just done her duty then she and her children would still be alive? that's how people sound making things up to hate on Lyanna

[angelsdean]

another moment of John Winchester's A+ Parenting. some random hunter guy says your young son is ~special~ and he wants some time to talk to him so you leave him alone with this random man for an hour????? random hunter man also ends up dead, like blown up dead. like guts on the walls dead when john comes back and sam is just, eerily sitting outside the house like nothing happened. the journal implies that this man in the seville who has been following them is the one who killed Silas-the-random-hunter-man while trying to get to sam, but i do enjoy rotating around the version of events where sam's dormant psychic powers just flared up and he exploded this strange man for [vaguely implied creepy fucked up-ness]

#like literally what the fuck john. #head in my fucking hands. tugging at my hair. WHY would you leave your young child ALONE with a random person #your young child who many people are after and actively trying to harm for said ~specialness~ #like i get you're used to abandoning and neglecting your kids but COME ON. this guy can talk to your son with you in the room. #there's no reason this random hunter man needed to be alone with sam. it feels so ick. #john's journal #fuck john winchester

[batdevil19]

I really don't know why I keep on hoping that i can be loved.

That my love will be corresponded, but something i've learned is that I'm not worth it.

Never considered, never cared for, never an option.

Fox D.

#dead eyes #dead inside #unloveable #lone wanderer #so much pain #always alone #abandoned #i wish i was dead #i cant do this #i give up #i feel numb #never an option #hole in my chest #i'm dyin here #alone in the dark

[songtwo]

idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..

#it’s been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until today…. #and it’s like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop #but on the other hand i can’t just abandon him #and it’s like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him #and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didn’t do anything to me and i can’t really explain it but he just wasn’t himself #and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week #it’s been like 5 times since december #but 3 have been on the past month alone #and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident #and like i’m not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved #and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldn’t be w him if it kept happening #and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again #by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive #and like. idk what to do #i really don’t want to be w someone like this #and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i don’t want this i hate feeling like this #but i also can’t abandon him #like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldn’t feel good leaving him alone #but like i don’t want to live like this #maybe i’ll ask for some time to just figure things out #but it’s gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg #i don’t wanna leave but i don’t want things to be like this either #and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk #i just don’t know what to do #i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i can’t abandon him:( #and our 1.5 anniversary was also next week….. #but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now

[masqueradeoftheguilty]

4.0 archon quest spoilers //

looking at the end of act 2, you see the people start to immediately turn on furina the moment that she slips up and admits she's confused by the oratrice's judgement and you start to understand why she has such a strong need for control (and why she moment she's on the backfoot she redirects any doubts or anger and then leaves)

#genshin spoilers #genshin 4.0 spoilers #i have a feeling by the end furina will be left weeping alone on her throne like the prophecy but not bcs the people will be dissolved #but bcs everything collapses around her #the people's faith in her is already weak and they love drama so much they would turn on their god #even neuvillette doesn't seem overly fond of her at times #smth smth abandonment issues. the way she avoids conflict and embarrassment.... #i need her lore immediately hyv #given how much the travellers arrival has shaken the other nations i do feel a big change is coming to fontaine and im so excited #step right up! || 🪄.txt