Rejection. It’s all I’ve ever faced my life. From lovers, from family, from friends, from opportunities to success. I kept going. Kept thinking maybe it just wasn’t right. But I’ve reached that threshold where my fragile heart can’t take it anymore. Each time I get rejected now, it’s like some squeezing my heart and shattering it into uncountable pieces. It makes me feel small, worthless. Like every cell of me was created to be hated. To be looked at with resentment and disgust. Who could love you, my brain says. Look at you, you sorry being. So peculiar. So unlovable but so desperate for love. Wish I’d realize the only solution is to be alone. It’ll be lonely, it’ll hurt but I promise you it won’t burn like when you are rejected. If only I could kill that tiny ray of hope and give up. It would save my life.
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I feel like a chore to you, something you have to put effort into but really don't want to, an obligation
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Forgive me for what I am.
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Sometimes i feel my chest hurting cause of these feelings stacked inside but then I remember I only get more hurt when I talk about them.
Fox D.
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Sometimes I feel like I go above and beyond for people to make up for the fact that I’ll never be good enough and in hopes that it’ll distract them enough so they don’t notice and leave.
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I’m never the girl the guy wants. Fuck it ruins me to see me be tossed aside like garbage or used like garbage 😔
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Deep down I feel I can never be myself, nor do I truly know who that self is, only that I believe she is inherently unloveable.
September 5, 2022
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- It's so amazing to hold a baby and look at it sleep and think, "This is a perfect thing."
It's weird to think that at one point, someone held me in their hands and thought,
"I'm going to love this kid forever,"
you know?
What happened?
Todd-bojackhorsmen
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