#I just think there should be more cowboys being cool in media | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slothgiirl · 2 years

Text

trashpile: influencer lite

thing i have had in my wip pile but have decided to not work on but i wanted to have it saved somewhere, notes and all.

9k. timothee x reader

you were the former ghost content creator for an influencers team (PR, manager, photographer). now is moving to do assistant PR relations for an auction house in NYC. gets invited to party w influencer (met in college).

T.C is there.

likes going to concerts and finding places to c on tiktok. tries out food recipes and going skating around central park. getting drinks w friends after work and thrifting (be green). fun media (schindler's list made me depressed for like a week yet all the books i want to read r depressing nonfiction). music is a big deal!!! maximalist!!

@ameliababy @pinksidekick @harpyhagnyc (jenny)

-1-----

“We look so fucking hot,” your former roomate and ex-boss as of yesterday smiles as she looks at the both of you in her diy mirror. It was a vestige of yesteryear's pandemic. It had been the influencer thing, but who hadn’t dabbled in do it yourself when there was nowhere to go!

You pout, and immediately stop. It was giving more duck lips than Ashley Olsen. “Yeehaw at the old time road,” you joke. A cow print slip dress had to go with cowboy boots. Your smile looked better, cute instead of hot like Amelia, but it suited you.

You both looked hot.

But realistically, even at your most pampered and dolled up, you were not the girl people approached at bars. So it would be a fun night as her plus one and that would be that.

She laughs. “I’m so glad we can hang out before leaving for Paris! Ah! I’m so fucking excited!”

“I’m excited for you,” you tell her.

“It should be you too! You helped me like, grow my brand,” she burst into laughter, still trying to wrap her head around how Instagram had become her full time job. It was a modern day cinderella story.

You shrug. “I’m taking the old degree out for a spin.” And New York city had always been your dream. Now you were here, done with school, working your first big girl job, you wanted to see how it went.

“You're a PR girlie now,” she threads her hand through your arm and takes a few pics, “Some rich people thing right?”

“For an auction house,” you explain. You started last month. It was something very different from what you imagined while in college. “It’s cool. My coworkers are chill. I mean, its no pawn stars-”

“That show is so freaking binge worthy. Like, it really got me through pulling all nighters.”

“Just me, you,” you laugh, “and some Las Vegas pawn store people.”

“Yeah like, if I had to follow a storyline and keep up with a billion seasons of Grey’s I don’t think I’d have studied. Then again, I did drop out.” She cringes for a second, before shrugging. “Facebook might be destroying the world but at least I didn’t have to finish college.”

You laugh. “There’s a bright side to everything.”

The place is done up to be instagram worthy, with cute plant covered walls and a shark disco ball as Nu plays in the background. The tables all have cute petit fours but everyones too busy taking pictures aka doing their job to eat.

One wall had #nuvision which had to be the brand or tagline for whatever was being promoted.

“Here,” Amelia says, dragging you into the frame with some other girl who had instaface, and someone else takes a picture. “You don’t mind do you?”

“Naw,” you wave it off. “It's for your stories? Right?”

“Yeah, it's more organic that way. What’s your handle,” Amelia asks the other influencer.

“@justagirlmp3,” she explains casually, “yours?”

“@ameliababy.”

“Oh how cute! I keep wanting to do the plant thing but mine always die or just don’t grow.”

“I’ve always taken care of plants,” Amelia explains and you look around, wanting a drink in your hand.

“I’m going to get a drink, want anything?”

“Um. No, later. I’m going to mingle and whatnot,” Amelia smiles. “Our table’s near the back.”

“Okay.” You squeeze her arm before going off. You’d settle for nursing a vodka cranberry.

It’s a bit of a squeeze, trying not to bump into people and surrounded by the people from insta. It was typical: kids from tiktok, the girls from insta, and industry types. Someone walks by in last season's Mugler and you’re not even surprised.

You find the bar, across from the little set up dance floor and even though you know its instagram bait the same way those pop up museums are, having done content for Amelia, the shark disco ball is still making you lose your mind. It’s too good.

Then Jeremy O’Harris walks by you in all his maximalist glory.

Oh!

You do a double take as you settle in at the bar, waiting for your turn.

It was that type of event.

There were actual famous people here.

“Star struck,” the man next to you asks.

“A little,” you turn to look at him while babbling, “his instagram is so funny.” And his style was great.

Your words make him laugh.

He was lanky with chocolate curly hair in sweatpants and a windbreaker. The odd sort of grace in his features, almost ugly but definitely interesting, makes you think he might be a model of some sort. Models, you had learned, were pretty alien from how beautiful they were.

“I would have said his plays,” the man sniggers, tipping his drink at you.

“This is going to make me sound super uncultured,” you wince, mouth dry because you never knew what to say to people out of the blue and this was exactly why you were so awkward, “but I am such a bad reader. But I did watch that internet play he did.” The bar tender spots you.

Thank god.

You needed to shut up and stop embarrassing yourself.

You order a cranberry vodka.

“Didn’t catch that but Slave Play,” his eyes widen, for some reason still talking to you which felt like a joke, “wow.” He deadpans like Owen Wilson, “It was amazing. Got robbed at the Tonys though.”

“I only liked Hamlet,” you admit, “it's like the only play I didn’t sparknote. My teacher was really passionate about it so it actually clicked for me. I think it’s the way she taught it, first having us watch it performed and how plays just don’t hit the same when read off page but I couldn’t exactly go to Broadway las summer,” the summer of the pandemic. You sip at your drink, the tartness cancelling out the burn of the vodka.

“You should try reading it sometime if you're such a fan,” he says lightly. “I’m Timothee.”

You tip your drink at him, introducing yourself. “Nice to meet you. II’ll probably get the book and it’ll sit on my shelves for ages. It’s rare for me to really get into a book and read more than a chapter at a time.” You were a slow reader hence sparknoting most books or else you wouldn't have ever completed the assignments. It took time for you to parse out the meaning, the subtext.

Timothee laughs again. “I like the honesty.”

“Thank you,” you giggle, before glancing around. It seemed like the work part of the night was winding down. People were starting to head to their tables. “It’s like Fran Lebowitz said, life’s too short to watch a boring movie or finish a book you don’t like.”

“Ah,” he points, “but you have to try first.”

“Or it could be my second play.” You shrug. “I mean, shame on me. I’ve lived in the city for nearly five years now and never been to Broadway.”

“No! No,” his expressions are captivating in their openness, “you have to go. Watch anything. But rush the show for the optimal Broadway experience.”

“I did see Mamma Mia at my college’s theater,” you try with a laugh. “It was a good time. Nowhere near as sparkly as the movie.”

“You can’t beat Colin Firth,” he agrees.

“Right! It was like the scene from Pride and Prejudice all over again.” The BBC version was your experience with Jane Austen. “My teacher, same one as Hamlet, was like please don’t sparknote the book just watch the deep dive BBC series from the 90s.”

“I can’t tell if that's amazing or if she should’ve pushed the book.”

“Whatever works,” you shrug, “and it was AP english so I don’t think it was that we didn’t know how to read a book. I just don’t know that high school books are the most. . .interesting though I get that they matter because of their influence. And catching those references.”

Timothee grins, “should’ve tossed in Baldwin or Tennese Williams.”

“I don’t know who they are,” you confess. “I was thinking more My sister the serial killer, not that my sister is a serial killer,” you add lamely.

He throws his head back and laughs with you, “glad we cleared that up.”

“Okay maybe I’m just a bad reader.” You laugh, “The book on my nightstands about to start invading my nightmares.”

“Very Spongebob tries to write an essay,” he brings up, then scrunches his brows, “is Spongebob just as culturally important as Shakespeare?”

“Yes! The Spongebob generation is about to start including some deep cuts in their emmy award winning shows.”

Timothee shakes his head, smiling widely. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that already happened.”

You’re half done with your drink and you still haven’t had anything to eat. The petit fours were right out of Marie Antoinette. “Well, it was nice meeting you,” you smile, wanting to get back to Amelia. “See you around,” you say in the same way you’d tell classmates you’d only talked to in class but hadn’t made the leap to friends with. Guys who looked like that didn’t bother with girls like you.

New York was different in that you had found friends and expanded the definition of who you could be but some things remained as distant as ever.

“Yeah,” he says, biting his lip, “see you around.”

Amelia is uploading a picture of her plate, artfully arranged. “Did you see Hari Nef was here?��

“Yeah, I did see some famous faces,” you note with a quick wink, “what's this event for again?”

“Some new cool camera lens for filming and Nokia,” she explains. “I know, it's like people who actually do stuff instead of being walking billboards.”

“What a self drag,” you snort.

“Gotta keep it light and fun. Be able to laugh at yourself.” She dusts her shoulder off.

“Eh, you're always risking it all for the shot.” And you gas her up about her job, “besides, not everyone can come up with all those fits you’ll change into and haul around.”

“Who would’ve known,” Amelia laughs, “an influencer's secret weapon is my bag from college to haul around outfit changes. Which reminds me! You have to come visit me in Paris. I promise not to make you carry my bag up the Eiffel tower this time.”

It’s bittersweet. You love her. She was your first friend in the city and you too did everything together for a good while. She was still who you texted when you were feeling stuck ina funk and her leaving right as you began the next stage of your life felt like the start of a slippery slope into depression all over again.

You were still happy for her. “It was my workout for the month,” you joke, trying to have a good time instead of spiraling, “Can’t skip leg day.”

-------2-----

You had a gut feeling not to go out tonight. Zara was a friend. Not a close friend, but the friend who had known where all the plots were for the weekend. The fun friend.

Senior year, you buckled down and studied. You guys had grown distant and that was further amplified once you graduated. While you had been wiping down your fruit with clorox wipes, she had uploaded posts of her on vacation in Miami.

Now she was making more money waitressing in Manhattan than you were in your “career” job.”

But she had hit you up and anything seemed better than staying in on a Saturday night like a loser. You were young and living in your dream city. Going out was a no brainer.

There would be plenty of nights in: monday through thursday.

From the get go you had been the odd one out. Zara’s college friend: the others all hung out more.

But oh well. You had done your makeup and felt cute in a dress and sparkly mesh top underneath. You were going to enjoy a few drinks.

It would still be a nice time.

And then the universe decided to shit in your dinner once again as they say in Castlevania.

You had come back from the bathroom and they were gone. You sent Zara a text.

Zara: oh we decided to go to the bar down the street instead 🤪

It was a sign.

You could read the room.

It was only ten pm but you were calling it a night. Time to watch 13 going on 30 again. Not cry. You were a big girl who could deal with set backs. No more depression, none of that. This was fourteen year old you’s dream since the first time you watched the Devil Wears Prada. This was what you worked for all those nights studying.

It would be fine.

You weren’t fifteen and eating lunch alone anymore. You had other people in your life: a halloween murder mystery dinner where you were just dying to go as Marie Anoitnette with a line of blood across your neck.

You head out the door.

“Hey, I didn’t actually think I’d be seeing you again,” Timothee says as he’s entering the bar. He looks good, curls falling into his face.

“Big city,” you nod, it was a chance coincidence to ever see the same person twice in a city of millions.

“Heading out already,” he asks as you both hover by the entrance.

Not wanting to feel like the world’s biggest loser that got ditched, you lie, “yeah, I-my friend had an emergency.” It really wasn’t that big of a deal. Zara could be unreliable.

“You sure you don’t want to stay and grab a drink,” he offers kindly, his eyes taking in your outfit, “I’m meeting up with some friends.”

“Oh-,” you shake your head, “you don’t have to-”

“But I want to,” Timothee shrugs with a grin, tilting his head towards the bar, “come on.”

“I-,” there was no reason not to. But you didn’t want some puty invitation either.

“It’s okay,” he grins, “it's fine if you don’t want to, but the offer’s there. Unless you want to wait until the next press thing to run into each other.”

“I doubt that,” you laugh, “I was my friend’s plus one. She’s a social butterfly but hates going to places alone.”

“So?”

“Okay,” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “yeah. I could go for a drink.”

Timothee leads you into the bar, winding his way through the crowd easily with his tall lithe frame. The bar isn’t huge, but there’s enough time for anxiety to find its way into the palms of your hands, dampening with sweat as you follow him over to where his friends are.

“Ally cancelled,” a black girl with hair bobbed to her chin greets Timothee with an eye roll, “again.”

“Oh please,” the blonde guy next to her laughs, “I couldn’t even get a text back when you were dating that one girl. At least she let us know!”

“I did not!”

“Did too.”

“You did,” Timothee piles on, “This is the girl from the party I was telling you about.”

You’re surprised, feeling your cheeks flush. He’d talked about you? He’d remembered you to start with? “Hey-,” suddenly feeling nervous all over again about interrupting him and his friends. Maybe you should have just left.

The last guy at the table sits up, that ambiguously brown look that could be Italian, Iranian or some country that would be a question on Jeopardy. “You mean,” he intones meaningfully. “The girl.”

Timothee runs a hand through his head, looking away, “yeah.”

The guy smirks, “2021, it’s your year man!”

Timothee flushes, rolling his eyes.

“We already started. Gotta love garlic cheese fries,” the girl cuts in from whatever that was, “I’m June. That’s Jakob,” she gestures at the blonde next to her, “and he’s Anton.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Before you can start worrying about where to sit, June scoots over, “the zombie here comes with those gummy eyes.”

“First jello shots,” Jakob starts, “a little pregame for them.”

“Jello shots are only fun at house parties,” Anton complains, “or in those halloween syringes.”

“You’re such a snob,” June snaps back.

“I’ll just have a beer,” Timothee states, grabbing a fry off the plate. “And we went to an arts high school, no one’s worse than theater kids! I can admit that about myself.”

“Don’t drag techies into this,” Jakob retorts.

“Sure,” Timothee snorts, “keep telling yourself that.”

Anton raises his own beer.

“Drinks people,” June taps the table, “we are here to drink! Not think about that awful staging of shrek!”

“No way Shrek’s a musical,” you say, “that’s such a cash grab. Shrek is perfect as is.”

In unison, Timothee and Anton go, “shrek is life.”

“Don't be boring,” Jakob says. “Get a gross cocktail or something. A bloody mary.”

“Bloody mary’s are gross. It's soup pretending to be a drink,” you point out. The correct way to soup was warm and on a rainy day at home, preferably with a slice of bread.

“She’s right,” Timothee nods, “Nothing good about a bloody mary. It comes with celery. Another strike against it.”

“Speaking of cocktails,” June winks, “there’s this bar that has dalgona martinis. Perf for squid game.”

“I still haven’t watched it,” Timothee admits, “I’ve been jet lagged like crazy.” He pulls a face, going cross-eyed, head drooping.

You laugh. “Is it that show like? Battle Royale?”

“Kind of,” Jakob tilts his head. “It’s like Battle Royale, American Ninja Warrior and Parasite.”

You cringe. “I didn’t watch that. I could just tell it was going to be one of those serious critically acclaimed movies and I couldn’t do it! II couldn’t spend the next week having a midlife crisis and depressed over a movie. Did enough of that in 2020.”

Timothee nods, “fair point. Sometimes you just need to turn your brain off and watch Zoolander.”

“I love Zoolander!” You were so there for cheesy 2000s movies. They were such a comfort.

“You should! Watch Squid game I mean,” Jane nudges your elbow, “after we get our dalgona martinis.”

“You’re really set on that aren’t you,” Timothee teases. “Don’t you have a dance class to teach.”

“Choreographer now, actually. And I have to do technical work with the company. That’s true,” Jane covers her face with a hand. “But not until Monday! Aye!”

“Just don’t go to Germany,” Anton says as the waitress drops off a round of jello shots and an assortment of drinks. You feel for her arm. You’re in awe of her arm strength. “Especially not if the headmistress is Markos.”

You laugh, having watched Suspiria the first week of October. You had not understood it at all, but the ending scene was pretty good.

It’s nice.

Timothee and his friends.

You drink the zombie and settle in without ceremony. No one bats an eye. It’s easy to make conversation and they include you without thinking.

Not a bad Saturday night.

And Timothee’s smile wasn’t bad either.

anton @antonofff jakob @tech_mech june @juneb0ateng cancelled: @allymarker

-------3----

“Fuck, its here too!” You and your three roommates were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. There had been water on the floor of the bathroom. When you’d looked around the apartment, you’d found water in the kitchen, in the closet you shared with your roommate. The place was flooded.

“Asshole landlord hasn’t answered,” José complains. “Evelyn?”

“It’s spreading to the hall,” she shouts back.

“Let’s just get everything off the floor we can and open the windows,” you try. This had never happened to you before. Calling the landlord was your one and only play here. Rent had been paid.

“Fuck no. I’m not staying here,” Evelyn complains, “what if it's water from the sewer!”

Your toes curl in your shoes from disgust. Gross.

“Dark horse solution,” Connor comes out of his room with a bag, “we bounce.”

“Uh-uh,” Evelyn crosses her arms over her chest. “I paid for the month. They’re not keeping my coins.”

“Well we can’t stay here,” José points out. “Evelyn's right. The wayers probably gross. And like mold, right?” He pauses, “oh-I-I have contact, hi Mr. Patel,” he goes out into the hall.

You scroll through your phone, trying to think of whether to get a hotel for the night or search up who needed a roommate right now. It was so fucked up.

Sure, you lived in a shoebox. The place smelled like tobacco no matter what scent diffuser you plugged in, and you were paying a small fortune for a shared room, but if you stuck your head out the window, there was a view.

Yeah, time to find a new place.

This was a sign.

You scroll through your feed.

@harpyhagnyc love is fake (pic of cutting up ex bfs clothes

You don’t even think, dialing her phone as you toss your meager possessions into the carry on suitcase that had by some miracle been on the top shelf storing a small fortune in textbooks on marketing from college. “Hey, I just saw-”

“He’s such an asshole,” Jenny replies, “I should’ve seen it coming. Bringing up a threesome after I told him I was bi was a major red flag!”

“Jesus christ.” He sounded like an asshole.

“I know!” You hear background noise of what sounds like ripping. “I met his fucking parents! I wore no makeup like a nun and didn’t say shit when they brought up illegal immigration!” More noise and you wonder what exactly she’s destroying. “And he has the audacity to cheat on me with some bitch with no tits!”

You sort of want to laugh even though the situation sounds awful. Jenny was older than you by five years. She'll be thirty soon. This was her relationship. She lived with the guy. They’d bought dishes together.

José starts arguing over the phone and you can just tell you’re not getting the deposit back. Connor was right. Time to bounce. The commute from Washington Heights to your job was a nightmare during rush hour.

“What’s up with you,” Jenny asks.

“Apartments flooded.”

“Fuck,” she replies immedietly. “You have anywhere to crash. That shit takes ages to fix.”

“I was about to go on like airbnb but instagram happened.”

She laughs. “Fuck airbnb, jacking up rent prices. No. Come over, help me be the crazy ex girlfriend that sets the teddy bear on fire! And have pizza. I need something greasy to make it through the night.”

“No-I can’t do that to you.”

“I insist. . .and you do the file on that atrocious pair of earrings. Seriously, my earlobe detached just from looking at them.”

You sigh. Looking behind you as Evelyn decided to give Mr. Patel a piece of her mind, you figure it wasn’t getting solved tonight and finding a new place would take time. “Yeah. Okay. Send me your address.”

Jane snorts, “I sent you to buy me tampons and I haven’t even invited you over.”

“Hey, I was into those bagels you got us. And we braved the thrift store together. Moving clothes down the rack is a workout,” you comment.

“It is. Let me know when you get here.”

“K,” you nod even though she can’t see.

You hang up, googling her address quickly. Without Amelia here, and still annoyed at Zara, there was no one else you felt a strong urge to tell your apartment was flooded other than your timeline. You weren’t about to worry your mom and grandma about this. Not when they lived across the country.

Your thoughts stray to Timothee and June but you barely knew them. The night had ended with taxis home and realizing you never so much as exchanged info. Maybe he realized he didn’t want to hang out again? Maybe you were all too drunk. Either way, you doubted the universe would toss you a third bone.

People didn’t go out of their way for you like they had Amelia even in sweatpants. She just had that magnetic factor: being photogenic was the cherry on top. You had to make the effort to hang out with people and make friends.

And even then, you had a resting bitch face. Probably the reason, after being majorly depressed all of high school, that you had been such a loner.

“So,” Connor asks, unplugging his Nintendo, “what did he say?”

Evelyn looks pissed.

José answers, “it’s wednesday night. He’ll try and get someone in tomorrow but you know, try and deal with it until then.”

“Unbelievable,” Connor huffs.

Evelyn says, “yeah, I’m going to go stay with my parents. Fuck. I managed to go through a pandemic without moving back home, but this!”

“Did you ask him to pay our hotel,” Connor asks more to the point.

“I sent him pictures and he thinks its not that bad.”

“Oh fuck him.”

“It’s our own little private beach,” you deadpan, “might as well charge more for that.”

“I hate how right you are,” José says.

You look at your roommates. It had been about a year. You knew José from a comparative lit class. The amount of bullshitting you had done for those participation points!

Connor was clean.

Evelyn came in at 3 am from clubbing.

Pretty good as far as roommates go.

“I’m going to go crash at a friends.” You tell them.

As if your apartment flooding wasn’t bad enough, the MTA had announced a delay. So it was just you and your suitcase in the subway like a loser. You weren’t about to walk from Washington Heights down to East Harlem. Not with the suitcase.

In your first days in New York, when you only ever looked up, at the buildings, the skyscrapers, not blinking at the thought of taking the subway because being there to take the subway was a dream come true, back when you’d walk from your dorm to Greenwich village and always take selfie near Washington Square Arch, then you’d gotten a job. All the papers and projects had beaten you down. You were busy ghost making Amelia’s content and hating the subway with a passion.

It takes twice the amount of time it should to get to where Jenny lives. It’s a straight shot and the MTA fucks even that up.

(Your mom had called you the moment she’d seen videos of flooded subway stations.)

You're expecting Harlem but she lives on the border of Yorkville. You can’t see it, only hear the highway where cars go to park, but you know that Central Park is nearby.

It’s nice.

You look up at the buildings, brownstones, murals by street artists and storefronts full of mom and pop shops, and remember why you love the city. Like a crazy person, which doesn’t raise any eyebrows here, you do a little twirl on the sidewalk, nearing the edge so no one shoulder checks you for blocking the way.

New York City.

The big apple.

The city that never sleeps.

There was no other place like it. You’d take all the pizza rats in the world over living anywhere else. It was a love hate relationship. You hate the city, but you hate everywhere else more and take the city over fucking Texas. Or worse, a flyover state.

You had done that already.

You breathe in the shitty air, cigarettes and burnt oil from a restaurant nearby and feel content.

Jenny buzzes you up, “I’m packing his shit up. But keeping all that ikea shit.”

You laugh, “sounds about right.”

“Now I’m going to have to pay all the rent. Like half the reason to have a boyfriend is to split rent, right? And sure,” she leads the way through the building. It’s brick and old enough to not have an elevator despite being five stories tall. She’s on the fourth floor. “Kevin pays half, and he’s a dream. Does like, help center stuff from some website and keeps vampire hours,” Jenny did dress in lots of oversized textured black garments that made her vaguely look like a batman outline, or Morticia Addams grandmother. “but still! I’m back to that thousand dollar rent for the weirdest fucking apartment.”

She unlocks the door.

“Oh my god I love your windows.” They let in so much light that it didn’t feel like a shoebox you note. It's a great place. Though the living room is such a wonky shape, practically its own walk-in closet cut off from the rest of the space like it had been an afterthought. There was a cheap ikea desk, but the computer was gone.

“One day I’ll be one of those plant hoes,” she utters. “My pipes broke one winter when I was in college. Nightmare. And the landlord was so shitty, set me up in a roach infested motel.” She does a full body shiver and you fight the urge to check yourself for roaches.

“I hope it's not that bad but I’m sick of sharing a room,” you admit. “I can afford my own room.” It’s cut into your budget, less savings, more rent, but sharing a room was so college.

“Yeah, the auction house is pretty good. I mean, its just rich people’s version like an estate sale. Instead of grandma’s Sear’s dress its like vintage chanel.”

You laugh because it was so accurate. You’d handled diamonds the size of your fist. “That’s a good way to put it. Though so far all my PR work has been doing research and background checks. Is that even PR?”

“Who knows,” Jenny shrugs, “I do the repairs. Or find the specialists. There's like three clock guys in all of New York.”

“I’m surprised a ghost hasn’t followed us home.” You grin.

“Shut up. Just what I need, a freeloading roommate. No, if you haint me you’re paying rent.” She pours you a glass of cheap wine, barefoot brand. “I need to watch Gone Girl before I gone girl Preston.”

“That name’s a red flag,” you utter, “like the villain from Riverdale.”

“Totally. Hindsight is twenty twenty and I’ve always had a thing for finance bros,” she admits.

You look up thoughtfully. It hadn’t been until college when you had started to have romantic experiences of any category, and you always had the lingering doubt it was a joke on you. There wasn’t really a common denominator there. “I had a date in college make me cup noodles.” It had been bad.

Maybe he had just being trying to have sex?

You don’t know.

You just went to the bathroom and never went back.

“Oh god,” she snorts, “even the cafeteria food would’ve been better. Sneak some out in a container.”

It wasn’t a bad idea.

You hadn’t bought the meal plan. “I think I only ate there once. It felt pointless to go there when there’s so many deli’s and pizza joints on every corner.”

“Well, as long as they don’t mansplain bitcoin every time it pops up on the news. I do antique restoration! I don’t care about NFT,” Jenny points out.

You laugh. “Still not sure how that's worth anything? Can’t you just screenshot it?”

“No clue.”

“Fuck I’m not great at math or art,” you pout. Maybe you needed to work on those creative juices, go pick up a cheap set of acrylics at Michaels.

“Are you kidding? The birthday card you made me was so cute. Sure, in a corporate soulless marketing way but cute.”

Your shoulders shake from the laughter, “thanks for that. I guess I need to start my own aesthetically pleasing in a clone of that girl instagram.”

“It’s so boring!” Jenny complains. “Same-y same.”

“Maybe you're just a bitter millennial.” You comment with a wry smile.You agreed with the sentiment to a point. If they weren’t hurting anyone let them have their white walls and artfully arranged açai bowls. You would stick to whatever you found as you rushed out the door.

“Maybe,” she drinks her wine. “That could be it.”

“No. I do think there’s like overarching aesthetics for the moment. I mean, mid 2010s hipsters? 90s heroine chic and early 2000s boho?” You could go back further but you;d made your point.

“Hey, you wanna go get pizza and walk around central park,” she asks. “Before it's too cold to leave my bed.”

“Sure,” you smile brightly. You loved a good walk around a park. And Central Park was the park. Huge, it felt like going camping without the hassle. “I’d love that.”

“Ooh,” she holds up a hand, “let me go get my sketchbook. Oh and toss your things in the living room. It was Preston’s zoom room last year but who knows what it’ll be now. Putting a couch there is kind of pointless. I’ve always had my tinfoil hat theory that it’s supposed to be a bedroom or something.”

“Thanks again.”

“No worries,” she smiles.

------4----

“If weed is legal in new york,” Jenny wonders, “then where the hell do I buy it.” You had both made plans to see some sci-fi movie she was into.

Between sorting your shit out and finding a room divider, Chinatown was a godsend even if it had been really annoying to cart the brown wood divider from Chinatown to East Harlem, you hadn’t really hung out. Not properly. Work didn’t count.

The living room had been partitioned off for you. A cool 600$ instead of 500$ for just a bed. Kevin had set up a chore wheel.

“No clue. Didn’t it just become legal.” You had never bought weed before. Someone would have it at house parties and you’d take a few puffs or eat a firecracker. You had never actually bought weed.

Swiping idly through instagram, you realize you have a message.

@rhinestoneyez (tc finsta) : i nvr got ur n#

@rhinestoneyez: thank gd for insta 🥴i guess

You frown.

With a tap of your finger, you go to their profile but the picture is some blurry landscape and they don’t have their name anywhere. The account is also private. Yours was not. Small as it is.

You had nothing to hide, and rarely posted anything other than funny memes.

But your name was on your insta.

@pinksidekick: who is this🧐

@rhinestoneyez: *pic of TC*

“It did. I think only this year,” Jenny tells you, “I need to watch Dune high! It’ll be so meta.” She holds up her fingers like an Italian chef, “the spice must flow!”

You laugh, happy to see your friend happy. She had been through the wringer, going through a shitty breakup. “Can we get it delivered?”

There had to be some way to get it. People were lazy. You could get anything delivered now.

Your fingers hover over your phone. Timothee had done the work. He had found your instagram. You swallow, not sure how to feel.

He was nice and you liked talking to him. You’d had a good night with him and his friends, but you were lost as to what to do now. What to say? How to go from here.

Looking someone up on insta wasn’t unusual.

Like your therapist had said, you reason that if he dm’d you, it was because he wanted to. You didn’t need to overthink it. Occam's razor.

“Good idea,” Jenny says, leaning against the kitchen bar, “let me figure that out.”

You decide to send a friend request. Easy, low pressure.

Even though he had sent the message, you still feel your stomach churn as you wait.

You close the app and when you open it again, you can see his profile. It’s mostly random pictures and selfies, both flattering and now, a couple shots of some cool graffiti. It checked out. He checked out.

@pinksidekick: ahhh i was hoping it was june

@rhinestoneyez: heY

@pinksidekick: but ur not bad either

@rhinestoneyez: ty ty i will take what i can get

You bite your bottom lip.

Was this flirting? Or were you just being dumb.

“Okay,” Jenny tells you, “there’s a dispensary on the other side of Central park for us which would be faster than getting it delivered apparently. So let’s go! Let’s go nerds! Let’s go!”

You shake your head at her, “says the woman who doesn't know where to buy weed.”

“I took red ribbon week to heart,” she jokes.

You grab a coat but forgo a sweater in the October evening.

@rhinestoneyez: i was thinking we should meet up on purpose

@rhinestoneyez: instead of leaving it up to whether or not mars is in retrograde

@pinksidekick: idk???

@pinksidekick: ill have to see how my crystals r vibing

@rhinestoneyez: lmk

@rhinestoneyez: ill b in the city by the start of november

@pinksidekick: traveling in a panorama🤮

*insert meme*

@rhinestoneyez: put the pitchfork down

@rhinestoneyez: i have moderna

@rhinestoneyez: pfizer

@rhinestoneyez: j&j

@rhinestoneyez: astrazeneca

@pinksidekick: okie hehe 🍾 i dont have plans for november ,, and in free pretty much every weekend

Jenny grabs your elbow, “get off your phone zoomer!”

“Isn’t that why I have you?” You joke and put your phone in your huge coat pocket.

You enter the dispensary and immediately are assaulted with the smell of skunk and patchouli that you could never tell if you liked or hated.

The inside intimidates you the same way a the big Chanel or Louis Vuitton stores with bodyguards do. You felt like a five year old masquerading as an adult (exactly why 13 going on 30 spoke to your soul).

“This is going to sound very galaxy brained of me,” Jenny warns you as you both look at the various displays and apparently having a weed habit was expensive and another reason you didn’t like going clubbing. Guys were not sending you free drinks and 15$ drinks burned a hole in your wallet . “But, should we get edibles because smoking is bad.”

You laugh. “It’s weed not kale.”

“I know, but no form of smoking is great?” She firrows her thick brows, “right?”

“We live in new york. We probably have that second hand smoke thing.”

“You’re not wrong,” she tilts her head in acknowledgement. “I think I’ll get some gummies though.”

“Should I get one too,” you wonder out loud, now that you are here. “Like emergency edibles?”

“Do it! Why not?”

You both buy gummies and pop one as soon as you step out of the store.

They’re a little weird tasting, stale and wrong like those Dots candies no one wanted on Halloween.

“At this rate,” Jenny says, leading the way to the subway station. Her weird indie theater for Dune was not that far from where you lived, but too far to walk when the movie started in an hour. “It should kick in at the end of the 1984 movie and we’ll be perfect for the new one.”

“Wait what?” You ask, having agreed the moment she had explained she had two tickets because she was going to go with Preston before he cheated, so you were fuzzy on the details.

“It’s a double feature.” She explains. “First the old movie from the 80s then the new one. There’s like a break in between so we can go grab food.”

“Okay that actually sounds pretty fun,” you nod, but the best double feature-”

She holds up a hand, “don’t-”

“Is The Mummy and Mad Max Fury Road,” you offer, “They're both orange.”

“Oh so Willy Wonka fits the theme,” she rolls her eyes.

“The Gene Wilder version,” you nod. “It’s so good. The boat cave scene!”

Jenny shakes her head.

You finally arrive at the movie theater and it’s tucked into a skyscraper and again you’re hit with the realization that you live in New York City. There’s malls in skyscrapers.

There’s a giddiness to your step that might be the weed.

Jenny shows the tickets on her phone.

You see the film poster for Dune and Venom 2 still playing and you wonder if you can just sneak into Venom because that was fun. “Did you watch Venom,” you ask Jenny.

“I didn’t,” she wrinkles her nose, “I can’t with all the second hand embarrassment.”

You laugh, “the way I skip through any parts like that at home!”

Jenny grabs popcorn and you see a poster for a new movie by the dude who made The Grand Budapest Hotel which was so cute and funny. You thought you might like his other movies but Moonrise Kingdom was so boring! You smile, tilting your head, one of the actors looks like Timothee.

“Okay,” Jenny asks, nudging your shoulder as you head for the auditorium, “best seats in a movie theater. Go!”

“Middle,” you try, feeling like this was a trick question.

“I would say furthest up top,” she replies, “I just hate the ones right up in front of the screen.”

“Yeah, the first row sucks.” You can almost feel the kink in your neck at the thought.

You’re in a movie theater with two movies starring Timothee Chalamet playing and it’s not until you see his face projected in front of you that it clicks that the actor was the guy you knew: the guy you were planning on meeting.

You have no clue what happens in the movie apart from Oscar Issac being hot as you stare into space trying to digest that bit of information.

@pinksidekick: sends @rhinestoneyez his official insta ?

@rhinestoneyez: oh yea

@rhinestoneyez: so what do u do for work 🥸

----5--------

“I thought you knew,” he cries with a smile, “you just weren’t being weird about it.”

“I-okay. That’s fair,” you agree, “but I didn’t! I thought you were some model or tiktok dude.”

Timothee laughs as you too walk to an arcade

5. u and TC met up on purpose. its kinda awkward. end up going to an arcade and its good and fun and u realize hes like the closest thing to a friend uve had since u were 13.

----6-----

6. TC hits u up after like over a months silence (he was doing press) and ur like idk im busy. “doing what” “work? i have to go down into the archives of nyc main library” hes like “i can spend a day at the library” sneaks food in for u and ur like thats evil but he still feeds you a couple fries. then takes u for a bodega bagels OR dim sum.

7. TC invites u to hang w friends. ur like, my dude im going w roommate to a drag show (zara apologises and u to talk). hes like okay but then u have to compromise and come to our lunch thing tomorrow: cheese board at central park. everyone gets day drunk. TC traces figures into your side and it hits u he might actually like you!

8. for work u go to some gallery opening and look at art that makes u wonder if it even is art. and the its like over a million dollars. its about creating realionships MS PR tells u and then ur rubbing shoulders w wall street ppl who dont care. and u overheard someone saying ur kinda ugly and ugly girls r easy. *cue crying at a painting and the artist is like oh u rlly like it and u lie and say yeah thats the reason and u get invited to her studio to pose. one of TCs friends is there! (pretentious ass anton)

9. art lady’s gf is fashion designer and is like u have an old ancestor face unlike instaface. be in my lookbook and ur like, i guess? and bridges r being built. u r at some house party by collina strada that's like a rave/vendor festival. run into TC who looks ridiculous and hes like yeah i wanted to wear the dress but i ended up w my titties out. june was invited bc she did the choreography for the show.

10. u have to guide some fashion designer (daniel roseberry) through jewelry. hes like maybe i can buy some for inspo and use some for decor in the new store inside berdorfs goodman. (get sent some schiaparelli goodies) PR kinda sucks like only 50k and yr broke but u r meeting cool ppl tho most influencers r vapid. TC is like lets get a very later dinner? italian in some side alley on staten island and it's too late to go home so u end up booking a hotel room (fuck?) and ride a bicycle in the early dawn. (get papped)

11. amelia is like why didnt u tell me u were dating TC! u have a day at work and timothee calls u and is like im not saying anything and they didnt get a clear ID so they shouldnt bother u but can i come over? and he does, u make food to calm down like yeah baby nothing like making pasta ! u watch bobs burgers and u tell him about how u want to paint ur room divider and hes like u think theyll hear us if we fuck? and ur like “get ur head out of the gutter OR we’ll never know if we dont try it out?”

12. timothee makes coffee and breakfast (toast and jelly) and jennys like ??? u look like the guy from dune which he finds funny af and then reclusive roommate (kevin) tells u all to shit up. jenny heads to jersey to visit her parents for the day. u and timothee go roller skating bc its 90s night and u love vengaboys

13. u, june, and josé go to see beach bunny. u guys talk amd josé got a job running the media accounts of something super boring (a chain of family diners like four of them out in staten island and queens). junes like so… and ur all idk we have really DTR and u have feelings of like wow he does all these cool stuff and jetsets and like im from Reno and am like a floundering college grad. and junes like dont stress about it then yet. like just go w it. which josé is like hell yeah we r in our twenties time to make all the stories we will tell our pearl clutching family about next time we see them. june and u make plans to hit up a cute christmas themed bar (u invite zara).

14. u and timothee talk thanksgiving and go look at music records. ur like my taste in music comes from the movie marie antoinette. and hes like oh ud like wes anderson (ur experiences r not relatable) and then u buy takeout and go back to urs and paint ur room divider.

15. u spend xmas w evelyn in queens. text w timothee. he comes over at like midnight bc ur both in the city and u fuck.

16. december. u work from home uploading a bunch of catalogue things on the auction houses website then go ice skating w timothee. this time u get papped and they can see ur face and ppl drag u for looking sloppy but like idk ur a normal person not an influencer.

17. amelia calls u and does a mental health check on u and is like idk do u want a glow up aka getting ur clothes tailors and like ur not sure? ur also in reno watching reno 911 on youtube w ur family. u call timothee. u make nye plans. *pic of lake tahoe*

18. kevin and jenny have brought leftovers from home. kevin is from staten island (i thought staten island was full of mob bosses) “jenny that joke is so old ur mama calls it mama” jenny is doing nyes w a costuming friend (ty, gay asian fashion designer who does theater costuming) and kevin is like i cant go there its just all of u dressing like ur in crimson peak so u take kevin w u and timothee and u go clubbing w him and his friends. u dont arrive together but u r on the list (1 Oak). end up at timothee’s place.

19. u and timothee make breakfast and sleep together again and hes like im so into u its wild. and ur like haha u r sure thats not just ur dick talking and hes like no way. TDR u r dating. u put on youve got mail and hes like wow they and right after tom hanks lost everything to amazon and u two end up going to buy books at an independent store and grab lunch and read but u cant stop sneaking looks at him U R LOVESICK

20. ppl keep commenting asking about him on ur insta as u r just a working girl. it is now february. timothee brings u lunch to ur work bc he will b gone for a moment doing work and is trying to spend time w u. u have a spring trip to paris planned to c Amelia.

21. u and josé and evelyn go rush phantom of the opera and catch up. u text timothee. catch like 1 person side eying u and like ugh u dont like that at all

22. paris trip in march. use ur three words u kno in french bc u love stromae. u and amelia do cute girl shit (cafes in the day and u read and do art and then go catch parties and clubs and see maneskin and all the museums w music and go to versailles in marie antoinette inspired dresses. it hails on u and amelia who tells u about the two french guys shes seeing and her roommate melanie who works in the dior atelier.

23. timothee surprises u in paris and u spend the two days 2 have together having sex in the hotel room and only coming out for food. hes like we should go to a knicks game together and ur okay yeah. and he reads to u in bed.

POTENTIAL END

24. u and jenny do afternoon tea w her costuming friend (Ty and Hitomi) and hitomi is looking for a place to stay. jenny mentions kevin might move to SF. ur like um i would like a door ? get in line.

25. u meet timothees parents at a off broadway production. then grab dinner at gag and tollner. theyre nice nut unrelatable to u who grew up working class. like ur 99% sure ur mom has no clue who shakespeare is let alone tom stoppard or anna akhmatova. they r the type of family to go do a pottery class together and ur a latchkey kid. again, u feel the distance between the worlds u inhabit.

26. u stay at his and hes like u r melancholy whats up? and ur like i cant rn i have to rush to work. u end up seeing each other a few days later when u go to a coffee shop and do work together. he reads scripts and u copywrite. then u finally r like ugh idk ur unrelatable and its all in my head but like, im the first person in my family to go to college! i feel weird idk and theres nothing timothee can really do to fix it but as soon as u say it out loud u feel silly and hes like open to listening and all and it ends up being a fuss over nothing

27. u grab dinner w timothee and ally and her bf (some computer sci rich guy) they all talk about travelling and meanwhile u only have a week of vacation time left so like u cant really and u just sort of sit there 🤡

28. timothee goes to do work in la and invites u out but u cant rlly afford it and like ur not broke but student loan debt and rent and ur retirement fund. u talk to jenny about it and shes like idk if he offers accept? and also how u need to talk about it if u two move in together

29. u, june and amelia do fashion week and amelia complains about nepo babies and june’s like yeah my parents r rich but like low end rich and u all talk about class and privilege and amelia’s like its just annoying when i spend hours pouring over 1000s pics to find the one good shot and these rich girls post whatever just bc theyre socialites my problem isnt w ppl w talent or that the door is opened for them but they still have to do the work to actually succeed after that initial door. you feel better and then u hit an after party for a brand.

30. u get called a fame whore bc u popped up in fashion week feed and decide to put ur account on private after reading the second comment calling u ugly and how u need to shave that mustache. u and timothee and his sister grab lunch then go bowling.

31. zara invites u to go kayaking. she brings two of her friends and u get soaked we and gross but its fun and free.

32. kevin moves out. Hitomi moves in. you and timothee spend the week together before he leaves to go film dune 2 and hes like u have to visit me.

33. u interview for other jobs (madewell marketing, spotify marketing) u see one for goldman sachs but it seems soul sucking. manager positions seem too professional for your meager year of experience. u end up at lifebowl (dumb salad chain for office workers) doing digital marketing.

34. before new job starts, u go visit timothee on set. havent seen him in over two months, fuck. meet zendaya and all these stars and u tease him (ur lucky oscar issac isnt here) and he shows u around a bit but u two cant keep ur hands off each other. timothees like i want to spend every moment together and u laugh and ur like im such a dick when i wake up tho. hes like well im an early riser. and u complain about how he leaves clothes all over the floor and dishes in the sink at night and hes like move in w me and i wont leave any dishes in the sink. u laugh and hes like no im serious. or we can find a place u like he looks away nervous even tho ur naked together (his cum is on ur tits) and ur like when u get back and i get settled into my new job we can figure out but yeah id loved to move in w u

35. new job. jenny goes to work at christies ny. u go to get trini food and she admits shes looking for a new place that doesnt have memories of her ex. u and her rent a place in the hamptons from airbnb w evelyn and Ty.

someone takes pics of u guys at the beach and evelyns like yeah ur on pinterest under boho chic ?? ur like wtf thats just me in sweats

amelias texts u and is like lol at my gremlin friend unwittingly becoming a girl on the moodboards

36. u zara, june, anton and jakob hang out. u go bar hopping and end the night doing karaoke.

37. u, jenny and Ty go apple picking. jenny found a new place. shes moving in w Evelyn. u make apple pie and watch over the garden wall while drinking hard cider. (early september)

38. timothee comes back and hes like here for two weeks before doing another project and u two try and find a place together. u fail bc of the small window of time and hes like okay new plan face time me and u figure it out?

39. ur soul hurts bc all the places he likes r like 5k. and hes like okay lets do the math. break down our contribution in percentage. and u finally find a place.

40. u go visit him in LA where preproduction is happening. u two take a day to go visit ur family which leaves u Sick of airports.

41. u and timothee hang out in ur new place. c all the boxes and immedietly decide having sex is better than unpacking.

END

#the trashpile #Timothee Chalamet #timothée chalamet x reader #timothée chalamet imagine #timothée chalamet #influencer lite

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vvitchering · 2 years

Note

HELLO!!! For your character ask game! This is gonna be random and I tried to make it non-spoilery for MYSELF so here goes:

1) Renfri!

2) Jack from Dr Who (if there's stuff I don't know yet just skip it thank you >:))

3) Corn Cobb

4) 1 random Sailor Moon character from the 3 episodes you've already seen /D

5) Shrek (this one's on you)

THANK YOUUUUU ;D

Anna really making me haul my whole laptop out so I can dig into all of these hahahaha

UNDER ZE CUT

1) RENFRI!

First impression: I remember wondering if she was being set up as Geralt's love interest at first and I also remember thinking "okay yes I love her, she's badass, he clearly is intrigued by her, they're both people who have been wronged by society/the people who should have protected and loved them, they have great chemistry and are unbothered by each other's respective quirks, etc etc" AND THEN SHE WAS KILLED :')))))

Impression now: I am Angry about the way she was treated as a character. I know all the short stories were meant to kind of play off of existing fairy tales and make them darker, but damn why didn't Renfri get to live her best Snow White life ): She deserved to live. She deserved to make out with Geralt a bunch more times.

Favorite moment: THE SWORD FIGHT AHHHHH honestly I don't think I'd ever appreciated a sword fight in media until I saw the Renfri Vs Geralt one. Iconic.

Idea for a story: Once upon a time I did write a little tiny thing for @annablume's idea of pirate!Renfri and Lady!Geralt and honestly I am a little sad I didn't write more because that was truly inspired.... I still think about it sometimes, even now that I'm not really into Witcher stuff anymore.

Unpopular opinion: She should have been Geralt's girlfriend/wife instead of Yennefer. Sorry not sorry.

Favorite relationship: In case it wasn't obvious......Renfri/Geralt 5ever thank you goodbye

Favorite headcanon: She did not die!!! It was all a RUSE!!!!!! She faked her death, waited until Geralt left town, gathered up her squad, and she's still out there somewhere causing havoc and living her best life. You can rip this headcanon from my cold dead fingers.

2) Jack Harkness (Doctor Who)

First impression: I really cannot remember because I watched Doctor Who for the first time SO LONG AGO!!!! I think I remember not really liking him much? He's very much a snarky playboy at first and it's not as endearing straight off the bat before you get to know him.

Impression now: I liked him! He's one of my favorite reoccurring characters and while I didn't watch Torchwood, I'm glad he got his own show!

Favorite moment: I can't remember the episode number or title, but when they're on that space station that has turned into deadly game shows? That entire episode. Every one of his moments in that episode.

Idea for a story: I don't really think about stories for Doctor Who. I don't know why, I think the vastness of it intimidates me lol

Unpopular opinion: I don't think I have one for him!

Favorite relationship: I thought his kiss with Nine was pretty intriguing. If I didn't ship Nine and Ten so hard with Rose, Jack would be my next choice.

Favorite headcanon: I can't remember if this ended up being canon or not but he is the Face of Boe! I know I've seen it discussed before, way back in the day, during the height of SuperWhoLock.

3) Cobb Vanth (The Mandalorian)

First impression: Completely neutral. Just another weird space cowboy character. I thought his silver hair was cool though.

Impression now: A weird space cowboy with cool silver hair that I would commit crimes for.

Favorite moment: Any of the times he is actively being all marshal-y towards the townsfolk. The man EXUDES competence and confidence and we love that in this house.

Idea for a story: I always love to think about how a reunion between him and Din would go. I think he's someone Din trusts, having fought such a huge and powerful common enemy together, and I'd love to see them have some time to get to know each other under significantly less pressure. Just some quality bonding time. With some light making out. Maybe not so light, who knows!!!!!!

Unpopular opinion: The fandom is bad at writing convincing Cobb dialogue. People tend to either completely overdo the drawl or don't play it up enough to convey him convincingly. Maybe it's because I live in a part of the world where that accent is common and I hear it daily, but its VERY rare that I read a fic with him in it and the way he speaks doesn't make me cringe.

Favorite relationship: I like him with Din a lot! I think they have very good chemistry and have enough in common to get along pretty well. I also (along with maybe 2 or 3 other people) ship him with Boba Fett. I cannot explain to you why this ship works but I promise it does. I think its the "enemies to still enemies but they fuck sometimes to lovers" aspect.

Favorite headcanon: It's never shown or acknowledged in the show, but Cobb was raised a slave on Tatooine. He has a scar that denotes his status as such on the back of his neck. He also has a scar on the side of his face near his temple that isn't ever given an explanation. We know from the Prequel movies that the slaves on Tatooine have chips in their bodies to prevent them from escaping, so I think that scar on Cobb's face is where he was able to have his taken out or where he cut it out himself so he could escape from slavery.

4) 1 random Sailor Moon character...I'll go with Sailor Moon herself

First impression: She's much less of a commanding presence than I would have assumed! She seems like a very well portrayed teen girl! (I went into my first episode of this show with absolutely NO previous experience with it, and Anna has me watching from the middle of the 5th season)

Impression now: I've only seen three episodes and I think my first impression still stands. I knew she was young, but she really does come across as age appropriate as opposed to how mature some anime teen characters are. She's passionate, but in a very child-like way, and its offset a lot by her carefree and sweet personality.

Favorite moment: Literally any time she yells out one of those signature named attacks. They're so ridiculous, did NO ONE speak ANY English when these lines were approved lmao It's actually pretty fun to watch each episode and see how progressively funny the attack names get so that's enjoyable.

Idea for a story: I've only seen three episodes, we're definitely not in story imagining territory yet lol

Unpopular opinion: Again, I'm only three episodes in, so I haven't formed enough of an opinion about anything to comment on yet!

Favorite relationship: I've seen approximately 30 seconds of her with her canon bf Mamoru and they're fine I guess??? Little bit of an age gap but that's common in anime. He seems like a decent enough dude, he just has terrible taste in jewelry :b Anna is doing her best to subtly influence me in the direction of Seiya/Usagi and honestly I am not opposed to that. Seiya is cool and has enormous BDE which contrasts nicely with Usagi's goofiness and sweetness.

Favorite headcanon: Haven't seen enough to have any yet! :)

5) Shrek (Shrek)

First impression: This movie came out in 2001. I CANNOT remember. I do know that I saw it in theaters, though.

Impression now: Relatable af. I too would prefer people got out of my swamp and left me alone. I also tend to isolate myself because I often feel like an outsider no one wants to be around :')))))

Favorite moment: The whole development of his relationship with Fiona was very realistic and cute. The montage of her participating in the weird ogre activities he likes and genuinely liking them too was just....really good.

Idea for a story: I will not be writing Shrek fanfic,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I did base an AU around Shrek once or twice though.,,,,,,,,,,,

Unpopular opinion: Human Shrek looks like Eskel from tw3. I will not be accepting criticism at this time nor ever.

Favorite relationship: I loved that he found a kindred spirit in Fiona <3

Favorite headcanon: I honestly do not think about Shrek enough to have headcanons.

THANK U ANNA <3

#impressions meme #ask #this got long wow

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kamilah-the-bloodqueen · 3 years

Text

The Cafe Pt.I (Rewritten Barista)

As promised, I’m working through finishing my unfinished series - and that includes the Barista AU I had written long ago. I decided it was best to rewrite it considering the first part was originally published 200+ days ago. I’m aiming for 3 parts for this “one-shot AU” but we’ll see where it goes. Please be patient with me - my academic course load is extremely heavy and finding time to write is difficult but I will finish everything I said I would. I’m actually pretty proud of this but if it flops I never wrote it :)

Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Amy)

Word Count: 4505 words I’m shocked (I usually get to about 1600-2000 words)

Taglist: I’m not tagging anyone until I know people want to be tagged for this because I’m nervous and I hate being annoying!!!! If you want to be tagged for a specific pairing please let me know - I’ll try to keep track and remember to actually tag because I’m a forgetful dumbass!

Amy groggily rolled over in her bed, the amount of sleep she was getting had become oddly suspicious because she would never be able to get up before 7 on her own. She rubbed her face gently, her sheets warm and smooth against her skin. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand, her eyes widening in shock as she read the time on the screen.

Monday March 30 5:40 am

“Fucking hell I thought I set an alarm!” Amy groaned as she threw the sheets to the side, huffing as she opened the clock app to see, she in fact, did not set an alarm. She sighed, shaking her head as she rushed to the bathroom.

“Damn it Amy...you need this job…”

She texted Zig, a mutual friend of Emily Day who introduced them their freshman year of college at Hartfeld before Amy had transferred to Belviore University in New York. Zig graduated and moved to New York and opened a small cafe, only a few years later.

Zig, I’m going to be late. I missed my alarm this morning. I swear I’ll stay for closing and I won’t be late tomorrow.

LMAO, Amy if you didn’t set an alarm just say that, I had a feeling this would happen so I told you we opened an hour before we actually do. We don’t open until 7 on Mondays, just Tuesdays-Fridays.

I am literally going to murder you 0_0. You should prepare to be launched into outer space for this crime.

Lol I look forward to it - see you at 7.

Amy turned on the shower, as she grabbed a towel and her shower products from the cabinet, placing them beside the shower door. She discarded her clothes, put her shower playlist on, hopped into the shower and felt a wave of relief that she didn’t blow her first day. After Amy had performed her world tour, she stepped out of the shower with a shiver, the cool air a contrast to her very hot skin. She wrapped herself in the fuzzy towel, briefly glancing at the time, 6:02. She walked out of the bathroom, dropping the towel onto the floor as she opened her closet while she scanned her options for a “casual” outfit that would suffice. She put on her favorite bra and underwear, something about the red lingerie made her feel confident, before she slipped into a pair of dark blue denim skinny jeans. She paired the pants with a black t-shirt as she smiled at herself in the mirror.

“Not bad Amy, not bad at all.”

She walked over to her small vanity, one she had built with her father as a teenager over the summer before she left for college. It was one of her most prized possessions, one of the only things she had to remind her of him before he disappeared without a trace. She closed her eyes, recalling the memory fondly before she began to apply a small amount of makeup, just enough to hide her tiredness from the public. She stood from the desk, pleased with her appearance as she made her way to the small apartment kitchen. The empty beer bottles and ps4 controllers cluttered the kitchen as Amy smiled, having remembered celebrating the job with her suitemate Lily. She threw the bottles away and plugged the remotes in for a charge, Lily would thank her for that later. She opened the freezer, making herself two premade waffles as she checked her social media. It might have partially been the exhaustion but those waffles were the best Amy ever had, she wiped her mouth clean and grabbed her bag from the nearby chair. She shot a brief text to Lily, to let her know she hadn’t been kidnapped.

Morning Lily! I went to the cafe for work, just so you don’t end up thinking I got myself kidnapped. Love you, see you tonight! Try not to drink all of the alcohol.

Amy followed Zig’s text directions through the streets of the city, the bustle of traffic, the mass of pedestrians and the loud construction noises distracting Amy from her path. Amy had never really been in New York’s financial district before, the other civilians' appearances shifting from “Naked Cowboy of Times Square” to “Businessman” only a few streets apart. She glanced at her phone as it instructed her to take a right.

“Oof-”

Amy jolted at the scalding hot coffee that was hot on her skin, her head turning to meet a woman’s irritated gaze, taking note of the coffee cup that was in her hands. She was dressed like all the other businessmen and women who passed by - her maroon suit now covered in coffee as she huffed in annoyance. Amy met her deep brown eyes that burned right through her, her whole body freezing up as she watched the woman’s lips move. Amy stood in a daze, only coming back to herself when the woman waved her hand in front of her, her face filled with exasperation.

“I’m so sorry. It’s my first day and I’m kind of lost-”

“Watch where you’re going, this suit is probably worth more than you.” Her voice was silky and satisfying, and oddly soothing given the fact she had probably just stained a $2,000 suit. Amy rushed to open her wallet, holding out a wet 50$ to the woman. The business woman scoffed as she walked away, leaving Amy in a confused state outside of the cafe.

“Fuck.” Amy sighed, moving to collect her bag as she walked through the cafe door, Zig raised his eyebrows at her as she made her way behind the counter.

“Well that’s a look.” He jested, Amy turning her head and giving him a death glare as he tossed an apron to her. “Nobody will notice, you can cover it with this. There’s paper towels in the back.” Amy dropped her bag in the break room, gently wiping the coffee away and putting the surprisingly fashionable apron on. When she walked out from the back her jaw dropped as she spotted the woman from earlier standing on the other side of the counter. Their eyes met and the woman’s gaze quickly changed from annoyed to very annoyed at the sight of Amy.

“Kamilah, you’re back. Wanted to pick up some date-nut pinwheels?”

“No, I need another black coffee.” She turned back to Zig with a smile, he gave a small nod as Amy began to brew the coffee for her. She placed the lid carefully onto the fresh cup and handed it out to the woman, their fingers brushing for a moment, a blush creeping onto Amy’s cheeks.

“Thank you.” Her tone was less aggressive than it had been in their first encounter, Amy finally calm enough to take note of the woman’s features. Her brown silky hair that looked like it belonged in a conditioner commercial, her defined jawline and subtle eyeshadow that accentuated her eyes. She watched the way her lips moved as she talked to Zig, Amy feeling her heart jump at the sound of her laugh - light and golden. Amy watched her leave, every step she took she took with such confidence that Amy found herself wanting to follow her out the door.

“You could be less obvious, you know?” Zig playfully nudged Amy, nearly knocking her over as she shook her head in denial.

“No! I wasn’t!” Amy sighed as she rubbed her temples, Zig’s infectious laugh filling the empty cafe. Amy playfully punched his shoulder as a group of well dressed men stepped through the threshold, Amy moving behind the register to take their orders. The day passed, Amy learning how oddly specific some people like their coffee, and learning all of Zig’s secrets to the perfect iced coffee. Amy looked at the clock as Zig walked to lock the front door - finally closing time.

“Some of these orders...like ‘I’ll have the grande iced mocha no foam soy hexagon vortex hypotenuse’” Amy waved her hands around as Zig tried to contain a laugh, wiping down the counter as Amy hung her apron up.

“Amy you’re horrible.” Zig made a good attempt at seriousness, their eyes meeting before they continued to laugh which made closing pass by much faster. Zig grabbed the mass of leftover desserts from their respective containers, hovering them over the garbage before Amy stopped him.

“Oh, did you want these?”

“No, but I can find a better place for them than the trash.”

“Where? Your stomach?”

“No, the food bank is on the route back to my apartment. We shouldn’t be wasteful, and besides - who wouldn’t love a raspberry crown?”

“You’ve got a point. I’ll bag these for you then, if you could sweep the floor and put the chairs on the tables that’d be great.”

When all the cleaning and closing procedures were done Amy headed for the door with her bag in hand, Zig gently tapping her shoulder and holding out an envelope, a key to the cafe and the bag of desserts.

“Okay so I know what’s in here but what is this? A resignation letter?” Amy pouted her bottom lip as Zig rolled his eyes so far back Amy wasn’t sure if they’d come back.

“It’s your share of the tips from today, and the wrapped pastries. Thanks for that suggestion by the way, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself.” Zig rubbed the back of his neck as he looked around the pristine cafe, the windows reflecting the moonlight and the tile shimmering as if it were just installed. “Bloody hell, the place looks good...no great. Thank you Amy. Come on let's get outta here, go home - I’ll see you tomorrow at 6. Actually, let me make sure you set 3 different alarms, give me your phone.” Zig held out his hand after he locked the front door, Amy reluctantly handing her iphone over as he set 3 different alarms, all 5 minutes apart. He looked up at her for a moment, smirking before handing her phone back to her and walking off into the city. Amy rolled her eyes, he probably took a selfie on her camera but when she went to check, there was nothing but memes and occasional group photos -what did Zig smirk at then? Amy was too tired to think of it, she made a swift beeline to the food bank, opening the doors and dropping the brown bag of desserts off before making her trip back to the apartment.

The door opened with a creak, all of the lights turned off as Amy carefully navigated to her room. She switched her lamp on, letting it provide a dim light that didn’t blind Amy because of its intensity. She tossed her bag onto the bed, as she pulled her shirt over her head in one rapid motion. She desperately stripped, throwing her dirty clothes into the laundry basket as she changed into clean lingerie. She slipped into her favorite pair of pajama shorts and pulling her favorite hoodie over her bra - shirts were overrated anyways. Amy crawled onto her bed, crossing her legs while she put her headphones on, pulling up her favorite late-night playlist and letting the slowed music soothe her. She caught a glance at the envelope Zig had given her, she reached over for it and opened it carefully - baffled at the amount of cash laying inside. She slowly laid each bill out, counting the total twice to make sure she hadn’t miscalculated. Working at a cafe in New York’s financial district was definitely going to help her and Lily catch up on their rent and not get evicted. She smiled, tucking away 25% for herself, taking enough for her share of the rent and putting the rest into her locked safe - she’d been saving for a trip to Hawaii since she graduated. She stifled a yawn, closing the safe and tucking herself back into her warm sheets, taking her headphones off and closing her eyes for the night.

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The alarm woke Amy up with it’s loud and very obnoxious beeping, Amy wanting nothing more than to throw the phone into the thermosphere. She drowsily stood from her bed, gently tucking the sheets neatly back into place as she turned off the following alarms. She sighed, rubbing her head as she changed into a simple outfit and left out the door to the cafe.

Amy arrived at the cafe, unlocked the front door and turned the lights on, relocking the door behind her because she didn’t need anyone startling her. She moved behind the counter, dropping her bag in the lounge and putting an apron on. She checked the coffee filters, gave the blenders a good washing, set out creamer, sugar and other coffee essentials on the counter and filled supplies back up. Zig suddenly walked through the door, a smile on his face as Amy finished supplying the countertop and putting the pastries out on display, letting Zig prepare himself for opening.

“You’re early. I’m shocked. College Amy is having a stroke right now.” Amy knocked him in the side, Zig falling back a few steps as he shook his head and put his hands in the air in surrender. “Alright alright no need for violence, come on, let’s open.” Zig turned the “open” sign on and only a minute later did Kamilah appear in the cafe, her suit perfectly fitted, her hair smoothly cascading around her head and down her shoulders and her face relaxed and composed.

“Good morning Kamilah, what can I get for you?” Zig gestured to the display of desserts and the variety of coffee combinations on the menu above their heads. Kamilah smiling as Zig waved his hands back and forth, Kamilah letting out a soft chuckle.

“Just a large black coffee and maybe a date-nut pinwheel.” Kamilah spoke to Zig in almost a tender way, as if they were siblings or long-term friends. Amy selected a pinwheel, gently placing it into a small bag and sliding it over the counter towards Kamilah as she began to brew the coffee.

“How’s Ahmanet Financial?” Zig leaned over the counter, his defined arms nearly breaking through the sleeves of his white shirt. Kamilah tucked the pinwheel bag into a hidden pocket on the inside of her blazer before she turned back to face Zig.

“It’s very successful, our stocks are soaring and we just secured a new business partner.” Kamilah looked proud and for good reason - Ahmanet financial was one of the most powerful corporations out there. Amy topped her coffee off with a lid and handed it to her, their eyes meeting for a moment before Amy turned away, feeling her cheeks turning hot. Kamilah checked her watch, a movado 47 rose gold watch that cost way more than anything Amy had ever come close to owning. “Zig I’d love to chat some other day but I’m afraid I’ll be late if I don’t leave now.”

She quickly made her way out the door, the bell ringing softly as Kamilah strided away. Amy leaned over the counter with a sigh, Zig nudging her softly.

“You could be less obvious Amy,” his annoying face smirking at Amy as she rolled her eyes, “you used to be so slick back in college.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Amy threw an empty coffee cup at him as a blonde girl walked into the cafe, her eyes glued to her phone as she recited her order at a rate that nobody could understand. Amy sighed, Zig giving her a pained glance as she went to mix the complicated coffee order. Amy fought back a laugh as Zig found a way to run away to the back when the girl asked for his phone number. Once Amy finished mixing her coffee and sent her out the cafe doors Zig poked his head out of the lounge - his eyes scanning for her.

“Is she gone?” Amy snorted as Zig stepped out from the doorway, his hands running through his hair as he let his shoulders relax. “My god I hate teenagers - they turn eighteen and all of a sudden think they can fuck anyone. I’m like 5 years older than her at least!”

“Relax buddy, let’s just get through the rest of the day. I’ll handle all the teenage brats and you can handle all the nasty men.” Amy gave him a cheeky grin as they teamwork-ed their way through the rest of the day.

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“Finally.” Amy rested the broom on the wall, taking in the pristine cafe as Zig finished wiping down the counters. “What a day.”

“Thank god it’s over.”

“Zig?”

“Yeah?”

“Does Kamilah always come by the cafe right when we open?”

Zig perked his head up, his brows raised to the top of his head as Amy felt a blush creep up her cheeks, her hands growing sweaty as Zig remained silent.

“She always comes as soon as we open, she has to be at work early since she is the CEO. Although she never rests, despite everything I’ve told her.” Zig’s head shot to his phone as it buzzed, a text from Emily appearing on the screen and Zig hastily typed away.

“Everything okay Zig?” Amy had a worried expression on her face as Zig let out a long sigh.

“There’s a road trip for Kaitlyn’s band that leaves in two days that lasts for a week that our group is going on and I can’t go because I need to run the cafe-”

“I can handle it for a week.” Amy spoke firmly, Zig’s eyes widening before he let out a chuckle.

“What if you burn it down?”

“I won’t but then I guess you just have to trust me. Come on Zig - you need a break and you damn well know it. Get out of here for a week.”

“I hate that you’re right. Fine, but if the cafe isn’t standing when I get back, you’re toast.” They both laughed and finished up closing.

Amy walked towards the food bank, a brisk breeze prompting her to make it one speedy trip so she could bask in her heated apartment. A shriek came from the alley as Amy turned her gaze to see where the yell had come from, a red pair of eyes looking right at her in the darkness. She felt her heart beating out of her chest as she forced her feet to a run, her heart pounding like a drum and ringing in her ears as she huffed through the front doors of the bank - placing the bag on the counter and racing back to her apartment without turning back.

“Hey girl how was-” Lily sat on the couch with a coke in her hand and the television remote in the other, her smile fading as she met Amy’s eyes. “Amy, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost…”

“I think I’m just hallucinating from exhaustion,” Amy dropped her bag on the floor and took a seat on the couch beside Lily, “anyways tell me about you. We haven’t really had time since we both started working more.”

“Well you should sleep soon but I think we’ll be able to hold the rent for the next few months - with all the money you’re bringing in now in addition to the money my app has started to bring in - I think we’ll be more than fine.” Lily nudged her shoulder, offering Amy a can of coke with a smile as The Vampire Diaries played on the TV.

“Vampires are so overrated.” Amy groaned as she watched Lily’s eyes become glued to the screen.

“Some of us have taste you know.”

“No, it’s because they’re not real Lily, and the fact that no vampire would ever be attracted to me.”

Lily rolled her eyes as Amy sipped on her coke, both of them laughing late into the night and being good friends in what had felt like a long time.

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Amy unlocked the cafe doors and shuffled inside, locking the door behind her and leaving her bag on the counter. She hit the light switch as the lights slowly came flickering on as she tied the apron around the back of her neck. She quickly started and finished the morning set-up, the routine becoming second nature since Amy had always been a fast learner. She checked her phone, 6:49 am April 1, 2020.

“April fools day.” Amy smiled as she contemplated setting up a whipped cream prank on Zig, but decided not to against her deepest desire to see his shocked face. While thinking of ways to mess with Zig through the day, her mind came to test a theory - she began preparing two black coffees - before adding her own twists to one of them. Amy finished and admired her handiwork - the cups looked identical and Kamilah wouldn’t notice until she tasted it.

Kamilah walked in, her eyes scanning the cafe for Zig as she took a cautious step towards Amy who had a cute little grin on her face.

“Good morning Kamilah, here’s your coffee.” Amy handed her a black coffee, the one she had adjusted ever so slightly. She watched as Kamilah brought the cup to her lips, almost taking a sip, before she lowered the cup and leaned her face closer to Amy.

“What did you do to it? It smells different, and where’s Zig?” Kamilah arched a brow as Amy silently wondered how Kamilah could smell the difference.

“I took a twist with it, I made you your regular too in case you hate it...I just thought you should broaden your horizons…and Zig is coming. He just needs to pack, he’ll be gone after today for a week and I’ll be running the cafe.” Amy smiled softly at the woman who was now leaning dangerously close.

“I see. And if I hate it?”

“Then I’ll pay for both and I’ll never try to broaden your horizons again…” Amy frowned slightly as Kamilah finally sipped on the drink - her brown eyes widening as she took another, and another.

“It’s...actually pretty good...what did you do to it?” Kamilah took another sip as Amy bounced on her heels, a wide childish grin written across her face.

“I added a bit of cream and sugar and a bit of caramel! It’s how I like mine!” Amy took her hands behind her back and fiddled with them nervously as Kamilah smiled. Zig walked in just as the clock read 8:05 am and Kamilah left, turning at the door to smile at Amy one last time, lifting the cup up with a smile before entering her car.

“What’s that smile about Amy?” Zig wagged his fingers at Amy with a classic smirk as he prepared for the shift, Amy resting her head on both of her hands while she leaned over the counter - her legs kicking out behind her.

“Nothing.” Amy sighed and went back to brewing coffee, her hands aimlessly performing while her mind sat on nothing but the thought of Kamilah - and her damned perfect smile.

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Amy tossed her shoes off as she made her way through the apartment door, one shoe nearly knocking Lily’s head off as she pulled freshly fried chicken from the air fryer.

“Lily that smells AMAZING!” Amy squealed and made her way over to her, Lily slapping her hand away as she finished the two plates of waffles off with a chicken breast and syrup. “I swear I’ve got the best best friend…” Lily smiled as they both dug into the food, chatting away about their day until Amy let it slip out.

“And there’s this really hot customer-”

“Oh! Spill!” Lily wiggled in her seat like a child, eagerly waiting for Amy to elaborate as Amy stuffed her face with the rest of her waffles. “I’ll wait for you to finish.” Lily smirked and held Amy in an uncomfortable eye contact until Amy finally caved in.

“She comes in at opening time every single day, and always orders a black coffee. Although I got her to try something new today which I’m really proud of.” The subtle smile that crept up Amy’s face gave it all away to Lily as she let her ramble on, whilst she gave Amy the smirk she hated. “I’m simping aren’t I?”

“There’s nothing wrong with simping. But you have a chance here because Zig won’t be there so you can actually like...take your shot without him ever having to know,” Lily winked and whispered, “and you could totally fuck her in the back-”

“NOPE!” Amy stood up frantically, Lily holding her sides for support and nearly falling out of her chair as Amy rushed to clear her plate. “I hate you! Ohmygoddddddd.” Amy groaned as Lily fell to the floor, her eyes wet with tears at Amy’s reaction more than anything else.

“I’m going to bed!!”

“Goodnight! Love you Ames!!!”

“Love you too….annoying ass!”

Amy snorted as she changed into her sleepwear, her body becoming exhausted as she hit the mattress, falling asleep ridiculously fast.

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Kamilah came through the door, right on time as Amy had come to expect. Amy gazed up from her phone, those dark brown eyes looking right at her as she handed Kamilah her usual black coffee, Kamilah holding it closely before clearing her throat.

“Can I have the one from yesterday as well?” Amy smiled at her as she began to mix her favorite coffee - Kamilah leaning over the counter to observe.

“I didn’t think you’d want it again.” Amy said as she added creamer to the mix, the coffee turning golden as she mixed it.

“A woman can’t appreciate a little variety in her life?” Kamilah leaned against the counter, her hair smoothly gliding over her maroon blazer as she tossed it back - taking a sip from her cup.

“No I just-” Amy topped the cup off with a bit of caramel before enclosing it with the lid, her hands sweaty as she handed it to Kamilah.

“You just?”

“Thought you’d always like your coffee like your personality.”

“Whatever do you mean by that?”

The way Kamilah was looking at Amy, she knew she had to choose her next words carefully.

“Dark, intimidating, a bit bitter at first sip,” Amy hesitated as Kamilah raised a brow, “an...acquired taste.”

“You’re intimidated by me?”

“Just a little…”

“Hmm, I suppose your coffee is like you if you want to expand your little analogy.” Kamilah glanced at her watch, her expression shifting from playful to work-oriented. Amy felt her heart drop a little as she recomposed herself - back to her refined and disciplined self. Kamilah made her way to the door, the two cups of coffee in her hands as she paused, turning back and looking at Amy - something different about it.

“It’s...sweet and comforting,” her voice was soft as she spoke, Amy’s cheeks turning very red, “like you.”

#kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #mc x kamilah #kamilah the bloodqueen post #bloodbound #bloodbound AU #um so I have a love-hate relationship with this fic #but i am proud of it in it's ways #okay i've been deflecting i need to go do calculus homework and lecture videos

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axemetaphor · 3 years

Text

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

#jdate #john dies at the end #aus #erh. tthe hell do i tag this as #rambles.txt #long post #well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something #send an ask. or whatever #yaknow #:jazz hands:

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lexieelouuu11 · 4 years

Text

HC: Peter Parker didn’t know he was Bi until Harley Keener

So this took a turn I wasn’t expecting, also it’s a lot longer than I was expecting I’m sorry also Idk how to do the cut thing so my bad

TW: Mentions of Rape

Okay so Peter Parker is *Straight*

He likes girls, really likes girls

He literally went on a date with Liz (it may have ended with her moving away bc he put her dad in jail but that’s besides the point)

And he may have had a brief crush on MJ

So Peter Parker is *Straight*

Boys are gross, and trust Peter he knows

He doesn’t ever want to think of men in a sexual matter

He 10/10 supports anyone who comes out to him

But anytime he thinks about how boys could possibly be into him, his brain immediately goes to Skip Wescott

And how Peter was 9 when it started and that he never wants to be in a position like that again

It was horrible and scary, and Peter Parker likes women and only women, and he will never be anyone’s Skip. And he will never put himself in a position where there can be another Skip.

So Peter Parker thinks men suck.

(Obviously beside Ned and Mr Stark, they’re cool, but Peter has known Ned forever and Mr Stark is literally a super hero, and Peter only became such a huge fan of Iron Man and Tony Stark because of what happened)

His therapist tells him it was his way of coping with what happened

Then one day Happy picks Peter up at school on an non-lab day because Mr. Stark has someone that he wants Peter to meet

Peter really hopes its the Black Widow (because they’re both spider themed heroes !! how cool !!!)

Peter meets Mr Stark and this mystery person in the living room

Mr Stark introduces Peter Parker to Harley Keener

Harley Keener looks hot good, hes tall and wears a leather jacket and cowboy boots with skinny jeans. He looks so out of place, but he doesn’t look bothered by it either

Peters heart skips a beat, but Peter chalks it up to be anxiety

“Hey there Peter, I’m Harley”

Oh my god he has an accent, an actual southern accent

And doesn’t that just make Peters heart race

“Tony here tells me you’re a real Einstein” He laughed

Harley laughed. Peter is not laughing

Peter hears his blood rushing, and feels himself go cold. His spidey-sense is just going off

Peter looks to Mr Stark whose smile falters at the look of pure-fear on Peters face

Mr Stark doesn’t know. Peter never told him. Any files about what happened never include Peters name, or any family members name, so Mr Stark wouldn’t have stumbled on it, unless he went into Peter’s Therapists notes, which he hasn’t because he may be nosy but he isn’t invasive

Peter knows what this is, he knows he’s going into a panic attack. He was triggered and he needs to get out. Out out out before anything can happen

“So-sorry, I’ve gotta, I gotta go, something came up wi-with May. It was um, it was nice meeting you Harley.”

Peter left, and made it back home, though he doesn’t remember how he made it from Manhattan to Queens and into his apartment.

He’s home and it’s not the safest place, can’t go into his bedroom but it’s better than there

Tony beat him to the apartment (without Harley), already sitting with May when Peter walks in

May is quick to give Peter his favourite over-sized sweater (it makes him feel safe) sitting him down in the living room, putting a knit blanket over him, and giving a bottle of water.

“Pete, you okay kid?” Mr Stark asks

And Peter is fine, he always has been, so he nods

“Do you want to talk about why you were triggered into a panic attack” His voice is soft as he speaks to Peter, like Peter would break

May sits next to Peter, pulling him into her

“Adrian Toomes was not the first person Spider-Man sent to jail” Peter started the story like this because it was easier to tell it, his therapist may not be happy with it but she’ll be happy he’s making progress by telling some

“Spider-Man was 11 when he sent his first person to jail. It was a year long trial, one kid versus one 18 year old. He used to call Spider-Man, Einstein”

Peter seemed to be done with his explanation after this, deeming it enough information for Tony to understand what happened

It wasn’t

But May sending a text that said “Search Skip Wescott” gave Tony the opportunity to find out what happened later

(Tony is really pissed when he reads what happens, and makes sure Skip get transferred to worst prison and that he can never leave)

“Okay, Pete, I’ll talk to Harley about not calling you that. But Harley will be going to the same school as you, okay? That’s why I wanted you two to meet.”

After that first night Peter goes back to being his usual chipper self

And Harley starts at Midtown

Peter was just rounding the corner outside of the school to see Harley getting dropped off by Happy

After a moment of hesitation Peter went up to Harley and offered to help him on his first day (because Peter will not let his overwhelming fear take over and he will be friendly for the sake of Mr Stark and that is all)

Despite Peter’s uneasiness and distrust Peter and Harley get on like a house on fire

Peter started to feel really close to Harley, and Harley would often throw his arm around Peter’s shoulder and call him things like sugar, or sweet thing or darling

And Peter liked that a lot, except he didn’t because it was weird (but he really did)

And Peter would always go tomato red whenever Harley was around

Even Ned and MJ recognized the crush Peter had on Harley and vice versa

“Dude when are you going to make a move on him?”

“What the fuck, Ned? I’m straight, Harley and I are friends”

“Peter are you being serious right now? You both obviously have a crush on each other. Harley knows you like him too.”

“The fuck MJ, I expected you to be more understanding about this. We are friends. Maybe I come off as gay to you because I choose to respect people and am not the exact definition of a ‘toxic male,’ but I don’t fucking like you guy assuming that I like men. Men ain’t shit and I’m not going to find myself in another situation like I used too. I like women”

“What’s your issue Peter? You homophobic now? Didn’t peg you as that.”

“Fuck MJ, this isn’t your business. I’m an ally, people love who they love, but I don’t like men, and you need to stop pushing that on me. I have my reasons, you have yours.”

“Peter, the way you’re going off on MJ isn’t really helping your point much-”

“Would the two of you just shut up about this. I don’t like other guys. Women are it for me. I will not be stuck under another man. Fuck, I’m straight and you need to stop pushing the idea that I’m into Harley just because you want me to live out your little fantasies of what my life should be like.”

Peter didn’t talk to them the rest of the day. Not because he was angry but because he was embarrassed that he said too much

At the tower Peter and Harley were cuddled together sitting next to each other watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talking

Peter really loved Harley’s Blue eyes

And his accent

And his face

And Harley in general

But totally only in a friends way

They’re bros

“I want to try something real quick, you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am”

And then Harley kisses Peter

Harley Kisses him

And Peter freaks out

Without even thinking about it, Peter pushes Harley off of him and bolts, leaving the tower without his phone, shoes or bag, Peter just leaves

Once Peter gets outside he throws up, before his anxiety takes over again and he just runs and runs and runs

Harley is left now sitting on the ground, tears in his eyes, confused and hurt about what just happened

Tony makes it to Harley in record time thanks to Friday, and without a question Harley explains what happened

“I thought he liked me too, Tony, I really did. I don’t know how I messed up this bad.”

“I’m sorry Harls, Peter has been hurt a lot and I just don’t think he was ready yet emotionally for a relationship.”

Tony knows that Peter has probably just been triggered. He’s only heard Peter talk about girls romantically, never boys, but he was sure that Peter and Harley were going to be together at some point

Once Harley finally calms down enough and goes to his room Tony calls May

“May, is Peter with you, he left all his stuff here.”

“No, I thought he was staying with you tonight. what happened?”

“Harley kissed Pete, and he freaked out and ran out without any of his stuff, I was hoping he was with you. His phone is here too.”

“I think I know where he is, College Point Park. Ben and I used to take him there after any court date.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“What about Harley?”

“He’s already asleep, I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and May get there in record time, finding Peter sitting on the rocks facing the East River.

“Peter?” May called out.

Peter turned around, his face clearly red, tears streaming down his face.

“I don’t understand” Peter finally said as May and Tony got close enough

“What don’t you understand?” Tony asked

“Harley kissed me. He kissed me. I expected to hate it. But I didn’t. I liked it when he kissed me. I should hate it though. He’s a boy. I shouldn’t have liked it.”

“Peter it’s okay if you liked Harley Kissing you, and it’s okay if you like him romantically too” May tried to comfort

“But it’s not May, because if I like Harley, and I like him kissing me then that means that I liked it when Skip kissed me. And I didn’t like anything he did to me.”

“Peter, I like when Pepper and I kiss, but that doesn’t mean that if May were to kiss me that I’d like it. Same thing goes for you kiddo.”

“I like girls though. I can’t like Harley.”

“You can like both boys and girls. You could be Bisexual or maybe not. No matter what it’s okay.” May said again.

“I need time. I can’t- I need Dr Rosenburg and I need to not be Spider-Man and I need to not see Harley or Ned or MJ. I need time.”

“Okay baby, you can have as much time as you need.”

Peter ends up taking a week off of school, with daily appointments with his therapist. He went completely ghost mode. Wasn’t active as Spider-Man, wasn’t active on social media. Didn’t read or respond to anyone’s messages. Only talking to May or Tony and only if they were at the apartment.

After his week off, Peter finally reappeared at school, still having not responded to anyone’s messages, preferring to just deal with things in person.

“Peter oh my god you’re alive we all thought you died.” Ned shouted from down the hall going to greet his friend, MJ and Harley in tow.

“I’m fine guys, I just had some stuff from the past come back up that needed to be dealt with before I did anything that would hurt other people.”

“What are you talking about Parker, you wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone anyone else.” MJ said confused

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready too but I’m not there yet. My therapist thinks I made good progress this week though.”

“Your therapist?” Ned asked.

“Uh yeah, sorry. MJ, Ned, I really messed up with how I treated you guys the other day, regarding my sexuality, turns out I may of been wrong and you guys were right, I just repressed any of those emotions due to trauma. So, I’m sorry you didn’t deserve that.”

Ned and MJ obviously forgive Peter bc duh they’re friends

“I would like to talk to Harley privately though, so you guys wouldn’t mind?”

So Peter pulls Harley to the side finally getting the chance to talk to him, and wanted to say his words before he lost his nerves.

“Peter I’m sorry-”

“I liked when you kissed me. That’s why I freaked out. I didn’t think it was possible for me to like that, or men. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I wasn’t prepared and my brain automatically went to a dark place. I like you Harley Keener, but I have problems and I want you to be aware of that before we do anything.”

“Okay.”

“If we are going to try this I need you to be aware of my limits. I have a lot of them apparently, and I’m not sure if more will come up or not, but my therapist said that I should talk to you about this stuff before we do anything. If you still like me, that is.”

“Peter Parker you are too precious, of course I still like you, I don’t plan on not liking you for a while yet.”

And then Peter smiles and he feels relieved, because getting to this point took a lot of work and now he’s here and he likes a boy who likes him back who won’t hurt him

#parkner #parley #peter parker #peterparker #harleykeener #harley keener #bi peter parker #bi peter #irondad #spiderson #insecure #skipwescott #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu

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sebastianshaw · 3 years

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Although it's biologically impossible, and generally horrifying, I am very curious about how you would imagine a fan-kid between Sebastian and Pyro. We'll just say that Sinister mixed their DNA together on a whim and cloned a kid.

1) AT LAST sorry this took so long. And I still have two left!! 2) honestly at this point in Marvel, two cis dudes making a bio-baby is really the last thing I would question the possibility of Name: Rochester “Ches” Caspian Allerdyce. Pyro named him, obviously, though he claims that his choice of a grumpy asshole Bronte love interest is as much an homage to Shaw as to his own career as a romance novelist. Gender: Cis male General appearance: Tall and lanky like Pyro but you can see from his shoulders that Shaw is still one of his dads. All Shaw’s kids from this meme had DA SHOULDERS. His hair is curly and brown, his eyes are a lighter brown than Shaw’s, and he unfortunately inherited a lot of Pyro’s style sense, augmented with cowboy/western touches like fringes, buckskin, and plaid. It’s amazing, he manages to embarrass BOTH parents. Personality: Laidback. Great guy to have a beer with. Chill as a cucumber til he’s not and bothered by nothing until it’s time for payback. Capable of both carefully and strategizing and thinking on his feet, both practical and “so crazy this just might work” style. He has two speeds----absolutely laidback, and high-energy lightspeed. But no matter what mode he’s in, there’s an intensity to him. It’s dormant most of the time, giving him a laidback cool-guy vibe, but when he’s in a situation where it’s need be, whether it’s in a room of high-powered politiciking and manipulation or an actual physical life-and-death emergency, this steely-eyed certainty in whatever he is doing comes to the surface, and he takes command, and people follow because it is human nature to go with the guy who is sure of himself in a crisis. Ches’s moral compass is a complex and inconsistent thing, and best described as group-oriented but selective about who is in that group. Raised in the community-centric, collectivist Krakoa, he tends to count all mutants as people he should protect and ally with even when he doesn’t know them, until they give him a VERY good reason (meaning, not something petty) to exclude them from his grace. If no other mutants are around, he tends to go next to those who he sees as deserving or in need, but also who can benefit him. He’s got a soft spot, but an equal mercenary streak, and he can be quite remorseless and compartmentalized when it comes to those he has chosen not to care about. In many ways, he takes “enlightened self-interest” more true to its original meaning than Shaw---the original meaning being that acting in the interest of one’s group also benefits oneself. And when the two DON’T coincide, it’s often unpredictable and situational which one he’ll choose over the other. So, during my last DnD Discord session, one of our guys was bargaining with this very scary salamander (not as in a cute newt but as in THIS) that he was in debt to. He talked his way out of it by offering to get this ring that would protect the salamander from cold damage, its big weakness. He goes and gets the ring, and he has a curse put on it. . . that makes the owner vulnerable to fire damage. The salamander is a being of fire and lives in a fire realm. He is not going to have a good time when he gets that ring. And this is the sort of thing I feel like Ches does whenever he is double-crossed or needs someone gone. Special Talents: - His mutant power is to absorb and rechannel heat energy, from something as small as warming an object in his hands to shooting massive clouds of fire. Even the absorbing part can be dangerous, as Ches can easily kill someone by sapping all the heat from their body.. His codename is Mr. Fahrenheit, and yes he got it from the Queen song. - He has a strong interest in travel and in bettering himself, instilled from both sides of his paternity, and to that end he’s accumulated an array of handy-dandy exotic survival skills for all sorts of situations. - Because he travels so much, he always has some of those tiny hotel shampoo bottles and complimentary toothbrushes and nail clippers and stuff at the ready and I like to think this has come in life-saving

levels of handy during situations they were never intended for. - He thinks he looks really cool on an electric guitar, but what he actually plays is the guiro. Doesn’t look half as rad, but he plays it with enthusiasm and pride! Who they like better: Pyro. Even if Shaw WASN’T Shaw, what kid ISN’T going to favor the dad who burns shit with them? Who they take after more: Pyro, but there’s still more Shaw under the surface than you see at first glance Personal Head canon: - He wasn’t actually raised by either bio-donor, but in a group of kids on Krakoa by people designated for the task of childcare. Pyro, Dom, and Shaw were more like uncles, with Pyro and Dom being more involved and Shaw being more distant, as one might expect. For instance, Ches slept over at Pyro and Dom’s place a lot. . . not so much Sebastian’s. But Shaw did damn well keep an eye on him in case he’d turn out acceptable. He thus far has not, but does seem at least made of slightly sterner stuff than Shinobi. - Asexual - Has a pet potoroo named Pootsy, because at his point in the future the potoroos have not only fully recovered from their endangered status, they’ve become pets. Pootsy is trained to sit on Ches’s shoulder and wears her own little brown leather cowboy hat. Yes, I gave him one because he’s Australian and I am a horrible stereotyper who must be stopped. - Thinks big woolly mountain goats are the coolest animal - Loves power metal retellings of historical or mythological events/figures, such as “The Tale of Cú Chulainn “ by Miracle of Sound and “Beast of Gevaudan” by Powerwolf - Thrifts for vintage ashtrays, religious iconography, and absolute kitsch like enamel Garfield necklaces - Likes desert aesthetics and media that focuses around fictional diseases, supernatural or mundane (12 Monkeys, Outbreak, 28 Days Later, Sweet Tooth, zombie virus stuff, etc.) - Watches Peaky Blinders - Pet peeve is PROGRESSOPHOBIA Face Claim: N/A

#kids #kid meme #ches

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shinymooncolor · 4 years

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hey! you don’t have to answer this, but i know close to nothing about hockey and my family and i have never really watched it and i’m starting to get very interested, but i have no idea where to start 😅 what do you think i should focus on first, as a newbie? what should i absolutely know as a fan? what teams are pretty good in your opinion? again, thanks for your help if ever you see this p.s: i really love your posts and they bring a smile to me face, so thank you for your hard work! <3

Hi!

Ohhh well. First of all. Welcome to the nerve wracking, nail biting, jaw clenching, gut wrenching, heartbreaking and utterly incredible world of (ice) hockey. Angry muscle machines on skates chasing a tiny rubber puck in the nhl and their goddess equivalents in wnhl - what’s not to love?

You’ve decided on a hell of a year to join. Due to Covid, the normal system was paused and a recent bubble playoffs series played and later won by Tampa Bay Lightning a few weeks ago. The new season would’ve begun last week but is currently expected to start around December.

I’d say the best starting point would be to watch some games - YouTube has a lot of highlights, game compilations etc. and browse hockey tumblr. Hockey tumblr is a great combination of hockey gossip, game reviews, fans sharing their love, passion and (hateful) opinions about players, clubs and the sport in general.

My personal team faves are a handful - you see, the league is “split” into two conferences - east and west and within here a few other divisions dictating who the teams will play on a more recent basis. The clubs in the nhl being split over North America and Canada means a lot of ground to cover and therefore it’s split like this - time zones, distance and whatever. So maybe decide on a conference first? East or west.

I’m an eastern conference gal meself, but the west sure has its merits too.

So. Teams. You’re about to start a rumble here 😂

I am a personal fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins 🐧 they play good hockey, in spite of their idiot general manager (I’ve got posts detailing why he’s an ass hat extraordinarie). They’re captained by Canada’s hockey savior, Sidney Crosby: hockey robot, yellow crocs enthusiast , triple gold member (youngest captain to get all three?) and the goodest boy in the league. He’s been heralded as the next great one yada yada since he was about 5? And shot pucks into a dryer back in Canada - with that came a lot of shit for the poor guy who, in his own words, just wants to play hockey. And he’s good. He’s got his team of French Canadian d-men (letang, dumo), a whole lot of goalie drama which seems to be a pattern and his Russian (husband) assistant captain Evgeni Malkin who’s got the cutest kid, a really cool wifey (seriously her insta is 10000 better than geno’s own) and a wicked sense of humor which he conviently hides behind his “English big bad today” excuse to avoid media on a daily basis (he’s played this card since his wild escape and temporary defection from Russia back in 2006) seriously google it. It’s wild. They’ve won three cups since 2009, they’re contenders in the playoffs most years and their pr department provides some hilarious videos of captain Canada and his Russian (husband) A. It’s a true love story. Sue me. We’ve got an intense rivalry with philly and the caps. Seriously. That orange flyers jersey is intense - even if philly’s mascot is the next president.

Funnily enough, my strange obsession with Russian hockey players have led to the most disturbing but developing club crush on the Washington capitals who are the penguins’ nemesis.

I mean, this club led by the one and only gr8 8 mr Alexander Ovechkin is a rollercoaster of emotion and hot daddies in skates armed with sticks and a murder Swede.

So. Washington caps used to be a joke in the league until they went and drafted mr ovechkin first overall, brought him to the capital and let him do his thing. He’s got a rep for being a hell of a lot of fun on the ice (if you’re on his team) and one of those players that people love to hate (even if they can’t take away how freakishly good he is at hockey) - look up his impossible goal(s)! He’s an exuberant, fun loving Russian with a heart of gold and a missing tooth. In 2007, the caps went shopping for a center just for ovi who needed a playmaker and a slap shot feeeder - they went and drafted the Swedish angel (maybe assassin) (Lars) Nicklas Backstrom - and the purest hockey marriage was forged. The actual words (we needed a center for ovi and ovi wanted backstrom) have been said. Yes, these two Are now famously the mama and papa of the caps and they have a roster of unruly (and handsome) hockey babies with the fighting menace Tom Wilson, bird impersonator and Russian cat Evgeni Kuznetzov and a whole army of other adorable (albeit hockey playing menaces) babies. Most recently they had the leagues daddiest daddy goalie Mr Holtbeast as the fun and handsome canadien cowboy uncle but he’s ventured to Vancouver to adopt a new group of hockey babies. To compensate, the caps went shopping in New York and brought the one and only king Henrik from the crease in msg to be the goalie mentor for baby Russian caps goalie and to keep the daddy energy flowing.

(Seriously why are Swedish players part time models? Their national team strategy is to be so handsome the other teams are distracted. It’s a thing. Look it up)

I also love a handful of other players on other teams (I really don’t dislike any team in particular - but you’ll meet some dedicated and strong minded fans here)

Erik Horse Johnson, Cale Makar and Nikita Zadorov (Colorado Avs - zad have recently been traded to the blackhawks (not sure how I feel about that). Phwucking fun team. Who needs teeth anyways.

Marc Andre Fleury (Vegas now but hell always be a penguin to me)

The Russian gang in Tampa - and giant Swede victor Hedman (seriously he’s massive)

The canes (Carolina) and their collective of Finnish and Russian babies (aho, svech) with chaotic Marty and former penguin Baby Staal as captain

And a whole lot of others too. It’s hard to choose.

The Dallas stars and the most precious bean of them all (Russian) dobby - Anton khudobin their backup goalie turned playoffs hero and fashion icon. The man said we’re not going home and threw the entire team on his back and dragged them to the final. And their homoerotically charged captain and his alt captain and their Hollywood epic soap worthy relationship. Stallions, people, Stallions...

Btw we like to project our brash queerness onto this league. You’ll learn why quickly. There’s only so much talks about hot hands, slick moves, eternal love for teammates and quite frankly obscene (sexy) amounts of kneeling, roughing (let’s face its it’s just aggressive cuddling) and teammates honorably defending teammates.

Anyways. I love hockey. He. Sorry.

Fun fact I’ve dragged @canesinthecrease kicking and screaming into the hellhole that is the caps and I’m working on convincing @dontpuckwithme about the incredibly sexy thing that is Russians and Canadians being secretly married in Pittsburgh.

Great, sexy, amazing, cool, smart and wonderful hockey ladies to follow for even more amazing content on more clubs (the hurricanes - also a team I’m starting to love). They’re my queer sherpas and emotional support network.

Hope you can use this dear (new) hockey friend and mutual 💖🐧

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iamtheblondestblonde · 4 years

Text

Slides and Serendipity

Part Eight (4.5k)

Masterlist

AN: Lots of stuff happening. Also I wrote most of this after emptying an entire bottle of cider by myself so I take no responsibility for any mistakes (yes I sunk that low)

Warnings: probably swearing (idek anymore), alcohol?

“I’m in trouble Lisa, he’s definitely trouble”, I said to my best friend as I stood in my closet, phone pressed to my ear. Ever since the party my thoughts had been running wild and I had come to the realization that I couldn’t handle being just friends with benefits with Tyler. Right now it was more like friends with one-sided feelings.

“Yeah I saw that coming from a mile away. What changed?”

I told her how I’d been the last one to leave Tyler’s house at the party last week. After dancing around with Roope and Jamie I’d sat outside for a while to cool off, Tyler joining me on the sofa not long after. He’d started pestering me for juicy details of my threesome, but Lisa and I had promised each other to not tell any specifics. As soon as he realized that I wouldn’t tell him who it was with he gave up on the topic, switching to something less intrusive instead.

We’d spent the rest of the night there, only leaving once to grab more blankets as the temperature dropped. With my legs tucked underneath me and his arm around my body, apparently I’d looked like I was cold, we’d spent hours talking and trying to see the stars dimmed by the city lights. As the time had passed I’d found myself snuggling closer and closer but at one point I practically couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

He tried to convince me to stay, but with my house only being a five minute walk away there was no logical reason to accept his offer, even if I really wanted to. The dogs had all found comfortable spots on his couch to sleep and the sight was so domestic that it almost broke my heart to wake Yogi up so we could leave.

Tyler had insisted on walking me home again and as I hugged him goodbye I knew that I was in some deep shit. It wasn’t like I’d actively tried to avoid falling for anyone up to this point, I’d just had a more it’ll happen when it happens approach, meaning I didn’t particularly look for anyone either.

In hindsight I should have seen it coming with the amount of time we spent with each other and the way he reminded me of the one guy I’d ever had feelings for but yet it still took me by surprise.

He’d texted me a couple of times while being away and saying that I wasn’t looking forward to his snapchats would be a lie.

“So what are you going to do now?”, Lisa asked after listening to me telling her about what happened. I had thought about this a lot, especially since Tyler had asked me to come over for a bit before his first game of the pre season tonight. I wanted to go and watch in person but Mia wasn’t free tonight and I didn’t want to go by myself, so I promised I’d cheer on him from the confines of my couch.

Mia, Jason and I had finished working on our first day together an hour ago and I had just stepped out of the shower when Lisa had finally returned my calls.

“I don’t really have a choice, either it’s just friends or something more and I’m pretty sure that that isn’t what he is looking for right now.” I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by admitting anything to him prematurely so my only option was to wait for him to take the first step.

“You don’t know that.”

“Well no but I don’t know, seems highly unlikely.”

I put her on speaker as I put on some yoga pants and a loose shirt and when I looked at my screen I saw that I had a message from Tyler.

Ty: I’m cooking do you want some?

Me: Depends on what you’re cooking because I’m not in the mood for food poisoning

Ty: Funny as always..

Ty: Pasta, salmon and some salad I think even I can handle that

I hadn’t eaten lunch yet either, so I called for Yogi and then told Lisa that I had to hang up now.

“Go get your man.”

“Fuck off Lisa.”

The weather was nice today so it came as no surprise that Gerry was enjoying the pool, Marshall and Cash still wet from having taken a dip themselves sometime before we arrived. Yogi was more than happy to join the action and I already dreaded having to brush out the tangles in his fur tonight.

The food actually smelled really good and this time I let Tyler tell me what to do, as I didn’t want to mess with any pre-game superstitions. He did let me make some adjustments to the pasta sauce though. We took our meals outside so we could properly enjoy the sunshine, something I knew we both liked to do.

I tried to act normal and I was pretty sure that I was doing a great job or at least Tyler didn’t let it on if he picked up on something being off.

It was crazy, ever since my realization my feelings had snowballed and now I found myself overthinking every little action, trying to figure out what was going on in his head while also being confused of the mess that was my thoughts.

Afterwards we settled in the media room to watch some kind of animal documentary that Jamie had recommended, but we ended up mostly just talking and laughing until it was time for his nap and for me to go home again. Time always seemed to fly with him.

“I won’t wish you good luck because you’re definitely too good for that. Have fun tonight Ty, I’ll be watching closely.”

“Thanks, I’ll try my best to put one in the net for you.”

I hugged him closely and he pressed a kiss to my temple, making my thoughts go crazy. Perhaps him leaving for over a week on a roadtrip after the game would give me some much needed distance.

He didn’t put one in the net for me that night and I felt bad for him because of the loss, even if it was still only a pre season game. The team had been doing well after that, winning the following two games but Tyler hadn’t been on the ice for those.

Mia had asked me to go out with her because Elias would be staying with her grandparents for the weekend and without having any say in it I found myself in a crowded country bar on a Saturday evening. I’d even donned some boots that Mia had dug up from somewhere but I drew the line at the jeans shorts and a flannel, opting for long skinny jeans and a normal shirt instead. The boots were cute but I was nowhere near a country girl so the full get-up would only feel phony.

Mia taught me some dance moves and I even tried riding the bull-thingy, unsurprisingly not lasting very long. It did make me thirsty though so I made my way over to the bar, which offered a broad selection of beers to my delight.

“I could give you some lessons if you want me to”, I heard a voice next to me. I turned to my left and recognized the guy who had sat on the bull before me. While the time he lasted on the damn thing was impressive in itself, I’d been more captivated by his looks.

He had given me a ‘The Longest Ride’ vibe from the moment I laid eyes on him, a dark haired version of Scott Eastwood. For a second I contemplated shooting him down, but he gave off genuinely nice guy vibes with his bright smile and I could really use the distraction right now.

“How about we start with a drink instead?”, I asked, giving him my best smile. He chuckled but waved over the bartender nevertheless, ordering a round of shots and beer after taking a look at the bottle that I had in my hand.

His name was Mark and he had to lean down to hear me because he was so tall. This made me miss my heels but I also kind of liked the way he had to get close to me during our conversation at the bar.

“I’m actually here with a friend though and I don’t want to abandon her.”

“No need for that, why don’t you just bring her over to our booth over there?” He pointed over to a small group of guys that could have made up the cover of a cowboy calendar. Mia would be more than happy to spend some time with them.

She didn’t mind at all, of course, only telling me that this reminded her of our days in college when we didn’t have to spend any money at all and still stumbled out of the club drunk.

Hours later I was still dancing with Mark but what had started innocently was not so innocent by now. He had taken off his flannel long ago and his cowboy hat was now firmly planted on my hair while got to enjoy his tan skin and muscular built, results of hard work on his horse ranch.

I hadn’t gotten laid in almost two months and all the confusion from the situation with Tyler made me want to go further than I usually did with random strangers. It also helped that he could be the lead actor in any country romance movie. Mia seemed to really get along with one of his friends who promised to take good care of her and gave me his address so I could hunt him down if needed. Let’s just say it wasn’t like she minded me disappearing either.

It wasn’t until the next morning, after seeing Mark out, that I realized that I had forgotten to check on Tyler’s game, his messages from last night still unopened and portraying the frustration he felt after playing and having to watch Minnesota put six in the net.

Tonight I would finally get to watch Tyler play. I had to miss the game on Thursday because I had to attend some meetings for Bumble in Austin yesterday but now it was finally time.

After a brutal workout at the gym I’d gone over to his house in the morning to make breakfast after his morning skate, something that had somehow turned into our weekend routine.

It was the last game of the pre season and against Denver out of all teams. Mara had texted me earlier to tell me that while she was still rooting for the Avs, she wouldn’t be mad if they lost tonight, which was a compliment in itself.

Mia had arranged for a sitter so she could come to the game with me and I insisted on going over to AAC early so we could watch the warmups, wanting her to get the full experience for her very first ice hockey game. I didn’t have a Stars jersey but I did own a hoodie in victory green. Tyler had offered to hook me up with some merch but I declined because I honestly couldn’t handle wearing his jersey right now.

Mark had been an alright distraction but as soon as I saw Tyler again after the trip I was reminded of the mixed feelings that I was desperately trying to get in order.

The sex with Mark had been fun, although not mindblowing, and under different circumstances I probably would have hooked up with him again but I needed to get my shit together first. While throwing myself under someone else to get over whatever this thing with Tyler was sounded very appealing, I knew that it would only distract me for so long.

Mia honked from my driveway, ripping me out of my thoughts and I checked Yogi’s food and water again before grabbing my things and making my way out of the door. Following Emily’s recommendation I had installed a doggy door that would only open when a chip in his collar got close, meaning he was free to roam the backyard as he wished while still not enabling any instrusions. It was kind of ugly but I’d figure out a way to make it look good. This way he would be fine on his own for the next couple of hours at least.

I could tell that Mia was excited, her choice of music only pumping her up even more. I was really looking forward to this as well. My last hockey game had been during the playoffs in Denver and while watching the games on TV so far was fine, nothing beat watching them live.

We were early enough to still snatch a spot up at the glass for warmups next to a family, something I’d never experienced either. Whenever I’d go with the girls one of us had always taken longer than planned so by the time we’d make it to the arena we could only watch from our seats.

Mia and I had seen each other almost every day of the week so far, but yet we still found things to talk about until the guys finally stepped onto the ice. After passing some pucks Tyler skated a lap around the rink, stopping in front of us when he finally spotted me.

“Look who finally made it”, he teased and I was tempted to flip him off but I was also very aware of the many eyes watching our every move so I only stuck my tongue out at him.

“Yeah and you better win tonight or I’m not coming again.” I was kidding of course.

“I guess I have no choice then.”

“I know you’ll do great. Go ahead and crush them”, I said and he looked like he wanted to say something, but then stopped himself, which of course only made me curious. It was times like this where I was almost convinced that perhaps he liked me back as well but I knew how unlikely that was. I might not be a professional athlete but I did understand the perks of not settling down as well.

He was called over for some drills, effectively breaking the look we shared right now and he shot a quick smile at me before tapping his stick to the glass and then skating off.

“Just friends my ass”, Mia whispered in my ear and I elbowed her in turn. I was surprised that she’d picked up on the weird tension between Tyler and I. We’d talked about him a couple of times during the week, especially as we’d made plans for the game tonight, but I hadn’t told anyone but Lisa about my current dilemma. She sensed I wasn’t in the mood to elaborate though and quickly let it go after that, which I was really thankful for.

After the warmups we decided to grab some food and drinks before finally settling in our seats. Katie had asked us to join her and the others up in the box but I declined, wanting to spend some one on one time with an old friend during the game. Besides I’d be up there during opening night soon enough.

The game wasn’t off to a very good start and while the first period was action packed on both sides, it left the Stars trailing behind by two goals. Mia was a bit confused at first but I gave her a quick crash course and soon enough she picked up on the mood in the arena, following the lead of the other fans on when to cheer and when to boo.

I used intermission to wait in the ridiculously long line for the restrooms and to check my phone, Mara flooding the group chat with messages that were practically a play by play of the game. I shot a quick text to Tyler, even if I knew that he probably wouldn’t get a look at his phone until after the game.

It was different to watch a game when you actually knew the players on the ice. I probably hadn’t been this on the edge of my seat during any sporting event since the soccer world cup finals in 2014.

After Tyler finally scored my screaming could probably be heard by Mara all the way in Denver. Mia and I were hugging each other, way too excited for the Avs still being in the lead.

Colorado scored again in the third and at this point I was already considering my options on how to cheer Tyler up. Mentally I was already going through my cute animals folder to pick out the cutest puppies to show Tyler afterwards, something that always made me feel better.

With less than four minutes left the Stars scored and Tyler had the assist so it was back to screaming and jumping for Mia and I. By the time Jamie scored to even out the score we were practically wrapped around each other, hoping for one last goal.

It didn’t happen and overtime wasn’t any better, not for lack of trying though.

“Your first time watching a hockey game and you get to watch a shootout you lucky bitch.”

“I’m just glad because this time it will be easy to follow the puck, the stupid thing moves so fast that I lose it every few seconds.”

At this point we couldn’t even stay seated if we wanted to, not that we did, because everyone else was on their feet to see what would happen. Shootouts were always brutal and not for the first time that night I was glad that I’d put on some lipstick because otherwise my lips would probably bleed from constantly biting them. Life hack by the way.

With the sound of the final buzzer I was pulled into the arms of the middle aged man to my left that I had never seen before, but I didn’t mind because I was so happy that the Stars had won. For this being only a pre season game things surely had escalated quickly.

Mia was still buzzing by the time we made our way out of the arena, enthusiastically recounting her favorite moments of the game. She would probably never watch games on TV but I knew from experience that it was hard not to fall for hockey when you got to watch games live. Perhaps I could take her again sometime, I had a feeling that she’d like glass seats even better.

The amount of fans trying to leave at the same time had slowed us down quite a bit so we were still at the parking garage when I felt my phone buzz with a call.

“Hey Ty what’s up?”

“Sorry I just got out of the shower or I would have called sooner but I wanted to ask if you want to come out with us tonight. You should bring your friend too, we’re celebrating the end of a good pre season.”

I really tried not to think of him dripping wet from his shower but it still took me a couple of seconds to relay his invitation to Mia.

“Sorry I can’t, the sitter can’t stay over that late but you should definitely go out with them.” I didn’t want to abandon Mia in the parking lot like this, but she practically forced me to say yes and not soon after I was led through the arena by a security guard that Tyler had sent.

There was a group already waiting outside the locker rooms when I arrived, some of the guys greeting me enthusiastically. Roope even went as far as to lift me up so he could spin me around, saying that I was their good luck charm. I didn’t spot Tyler yet but I did see some of the girls so I made my way over to them. Some people must have already left, especially the players with kids, but the group was still big due to some of the rookies coming along as well.

I was just talking to Katie and Dominika about the game when I felt strong arms wrap around me from behind. By now I was very familiar with Tyler’s scent so I didn’t even hesitate before reaching up to put my hands on his forearms, tilting my head so I could smile up at him.

“We won so that means you can never miss a home game again”, he said and I laughed, not quite remembering that part of the agreement but also not willing to protest either.

The group must have finally been complete because now everyone was walking towards the exit, making a lot of noise and drawing looks from the few remaining employees.

I’d gotten my fair share of VIP treatment, money does solve a lot of problems after all, but yet I never really got used to the judging looks of people when security guards usher you through. The bouncers didn’t even question the presence of the rookies, even though some of them were definitely still underage, yet another bonus. It was the same club I’d been to with the girls a couple of weeks ago but up in the lounge everything was much more relaxed and the tables were actually clean.

“First round of shots is on me as a thank you for being so nice to me ever since I met all of you”, I called out before handing the waitress my credit card, loud cheering erupting from the rest of the group.

“Ooof our sugar mama, look at that shiny black”, Katie whooped and I just winked at her, receiving a kiss on the cheek in return. Meeting Tyler had been great in itself, but the friends I had made through him were a close second. I’d endure an eternity of unrequited feelings if it meant getting to keep everyone else in my life.

Several rounds of shots later I was out of breath from all the dancing, choosing to take a break in the lounge once again. Our group was split up by now, some lingering up here and others still tearing up the dance floor. I’d done my fair share of dancing as well, jumping around with the boys and pulling out the sexy moves with the girls. Hockey players definitely came in clutch for that part, as not a single guy came up to bother us, too scared of the human fridges that always kept a watchful eyes on us.

I’d danced with Tyler the most, his slight lack of rhythm being a great excuse to make him wrap his arms around me so I could ‘guide’ him. Perhaps I was a masochist after all.

I could spot Esa and Anna having a dance off with Klinger and Fanny from my spot against the railing and I watched them for a while before looking around some more.

Tyler was standing close to the bar, currently talking to one of his friends that had arrived some time after us. Tonight had been the first night where I could see his NHL fame in full action and it was both mesmerizing and terrifying to watch.

At all the other parties he’d known the other guests to some capacity at least so it wasn’t as bad, but tonight I got to watch girls literally throw themselves at him. Yes literally, I’d watched one of them ‘accidentally’ trip so he had to prevent her from falling not long ago. Some waited until I left his side, some just straight up didn’t care, interrupting our conversations or dancing without any regard for me. To my surprise I’d seen him turn down every single one of them so far but it was like a Roman battle formation, others always stepped up to close the gap. They were hot, there was no doubt about that and if I’d swing that way I’d definitely pick up some of them myself.

“I’m surprised Tyler let you out of his reach.” Roope’s voice ripped me out of my people watching trance and I looked up to him in question.

“I just overheard some of the rookies talking about how you’re fair game because they think that he hasn’t locked you down yet. I kinda want one of them to make a move so I can watch him put them in their place, he knows what’s going on.”

“You’re being mean. You were a rookie not so long ago.”

“Yeah and I had to deal with lots of shit so now it’s my turn.” I only shook my head at his ridiculousness, not really wanting to respond to his statement. Technically they were right and no matter how much I tried to convince myself of the opposite, that definitely stung a little bit.

“I’m being a good friend right now so I’m telling you that there’s this girl who’s been looking at you all evening and she looks like she’s nice. You could even braid each other’s hair,” I deflected, pointing towards the girl in question. Roope shoved me before flipping me off but his smile said that he’d go down to talk to her either way.

I chugged down the last few sips of my beer, quickly making my way back downstairs before any of the rookies could act out on their stupid idea. I doubted that Tyler would actually lash out at them if they did but I also didn’t want to tempt fate. Tyler waved me over as soon as he saw me walking down the stairs and I slowly made my way towards him, the writhing sweaty bodies and my height, or lack thereof, not helping at all.

I wasn’t even surprised anymore when he pulled me towards him as soon as I finally made it. Despite his bad boy looks I knew by now that he was a big teddy bear who loved to cuddle, the alcohol only making it worse. Or better, because he gave amazing hugs. He’d introduced me to his friend a while ago and I seamlessly slipped into their conversation until Tyler took me by surprise when he asked me if I was ready to leave yet. A closer look made it clear how exhausted he really was, his tired eyes not something I’d noticed up until this point.

“I honestly would’ve just gone straight home after the game but the others practically forced me to invite you along so I had no other choice because I wanted to spend some time with you”, he said once we had made ourselves comfortable in the backseat of the uber.

My heart was doing somersaults of course but my brain told me that it couldn’t keep up reminding me for much longer that there was no way he actually liked me back. I’d never been on this side of feelings and I definitely wasn’t handling it well.

#Slides and Serendipity #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin fanfiction #Tyler Seguin #Dallas #dallas stars #nhl imagine #nhl #hot hockey players #nhl writing

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