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elli3luvs · 1 year

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falling in love at a coffee shop pt. 4 [ELLIE W]

summary: when your favorite barista turns out to have a girlfriend (an ex? you weren't too sure) you got cold feet and ran

genre: fluff/angst

wc: 2.5k

a/n: lord.... im so sorry this took so long and tbh im not happy with it at all LMFAO im thinking either one or two more parts to this as well! so sorry i haven't been updating recently life has come at me hard! im hoping to get fewer hours at work so i can have some free time bc omfg!

part three

The phone buzzing against the desk was seriously starting to distract you. It had been going off incessantly since you left Ellie's house in a rush, and you just assumed it was her wanting to explain her side of the story. To be honest, you didn't really want to hear it. Your heart felt like it was torn into two earlier this morning. But you should've known, someone that attractive and funny and kind had to come with some sort of baggage. You just didn't expect it to be a whole girlfriend.

Your thumbnail was sitting in between your teeth as you slightly nibbled on it. Dina was laying across from you with worry etched into her features. She was usually amazing with words, never having trouble gossiping or giving advice, but when you came storming in with tears about to fall over your lash line, she couldn't quite find the words to console you. She awkwardly stammered until she realized all you wanted was moral support.

The phone had only been silent for a minute before it started buzzing again. You groan, sitting up to finally grab the stupid device. The buttons on the side were squeezed under your fingers until you could swipe to fully cut off the phone.

Now it couldn't bother you anymore.

Dina sits up, staring at you with pity, "Would it hurt to just hear her out, maybe? Didn't you say you heard her say something about breaking up?"

You gnaw on your bottom lip, "I can't," Dina seems upset at your choice, "Seeing that girl, Cat I think, in front of Ellie was like a slap in the face. She could've been lying about breaking up, Dee. I just don't know." You sigh, crossing your arms to try and soothe yourself a bit.

Dina jumps off of the bed and makes her way to you, a grin spreading over her lips as if she just thought of the best idea. Knowing Dina, you had a feeling about what she was about to say.

"Wanna get trashed?"

The bar was packed even though it was a random Tuesday night. Sounds of college-aged people screaming the song playing filled your ears and chatting with their friends filled your ears. Dina had already shimmied to the bar, ordering a drink for you and for her, before making her way to the dance floor. She was gone with the wind now. You only hoped she would make it back to your dorm without you dragging her home. You decided to keep a low profile and hang by one of the back walls. It was better that way.

You didn't feel like dancing away your inner struggles. Realistically, you needed to talk to Ellie about this. But how could you just call her up when you ignored her for a whole day? A shiver went down your spine when you thought about the conversation that was going to have to take place.

A part of you was still mad at Ellie. You didn't want to have the conversation. But you were going to have to be mature about it one day. You couldn't just ignore her forever.

A voice cut your running thoughts off, "Aren't you?" You turn around to meet Jesse's eyes, "Hey, it is you! How ya' doing?" As kind as ever, he gives you a side hug while enthusiastically greeting you.

"I'm good!" You shout over the music. He motions to the cup in your hand and you nod, "Some sort of tequila."

He grimaces, "Oh, lord. You tryin' to die or somethin'?"

You purse your lips, "Yeah. Something like that."

Jesse pats your shoulder while laughing off your statement, "How did things go with Ellie? Man, she was so excited about it." His hands shoot up to gesture, "That's all she could talk about last shift was how you were gonna go over to her place. She was like a kid in a candy store!"

Your heart shatters. It felt awful to ignore her like that and a part of you wondering if you were acting crazy. Ellie said she could explain, yet, you just left her. Then you turned your phone off as if you couldn't give her the time of day.

Your eyebrows pinch, "It was good... until..." The words die in your throat. Jesse was a good friend of Ellie's and you had come to get pretty acquainted with him but was he a good one to confide in?

His face falls into confusion, "Until?" You see a flash of concern before his face returns to the original confusion.

"Until," You bite the bullet. Now is as good of a time as ever to pour your heart out, "Until her ex or maybe girlfriend? Until whatever she was came over. I totally left Ellie after not giving her a moment to explain. I'm starting to feel like a little bit of a bitch about it..." A fake half-laugh comes out to deflect how truly awful you felt.

Jesse's eyes widen and he sets his drink down, fully turning toward you, "Woah, woah. Was her name Cat?"

You nod and Jesse rubs his hands over his face. The loud techno music silents his hushed curses before he grabs your wrist to drag you out of the bar. The drink in your hand flies out as your legs try to keep up with his wide stride. Your eyes scan the room until you see Dina — who is cheering you on? She looks at you with a thrilled expression before giving you a thumbs up.

Oh my God.

Words of protest spew out of your mouth, trying to get him to just slow down yet Jesse only walks faster. Once you make it to the parking garage he turns back to you. You just hope he ignores the way you are trying to catch your breath.

Jesse starts to fidget with his hands as if he's thinking over what he's about to say.

Your anxiety spikes when he finally asks you what he wanted.

"Is it okay if I take you to Ellie's?"

The ride over to Ellie's house felt as if it took forever. The beating in your chest almost had you sick as you thought of all the possible things that could happen. What if Ellie completely rejected you after this? What if she looked at you with disgust and contempt when she opened her door? What if that Cat girl answers the door instead? You slide down farther into the passenger seat as the anxiety-ridden thoughts became too much.

You were beginning to recognize the area. It didn't make you feel any better — it just meant you were that much closer to having to be mature and talk through what happened. As much as you enjoyed hiding from those complicated feelings, you couldn't do that right now.

Jesse taps his steering wheel while taking in a deep breath, "Look, I know you're nervous and all but... you really shouldn't be," You lift your head to look at him, "She's really into you. I think she will be over the moon that you decided to talk this out face to face."

You purse your lips, "Yeah, but what if she isn't? I left in a completely bitchy way."

Jesse shakes his head, "Trust me, I would've done the same thing if I woke up to Cat's shrill whining."

You were slightly taken aback, "What do you mean by that?"

"I think it's better if Ellie explains that to you."

The air from the vents blows on your face, warming it up. The city lights slowly started to disappear behind you.

"If I know anything about Ellie," His car goes into park. Your head whips to your right and there it was — her house, "She loves giving second chances. Now, go talk this through. I do not wanna deal with a mopey Ellie tomorrow." He jokes around. His words made you feel somewhat better but as you opened the car door and the cool air hits your face, the anxious feeling started to creep up again.

The steps took you a good 30 seconds to get up — stopping every so often to look back at Jesse's car to which he would lift his hands in a supportive motion. Like a father telling their son to, 'go get 'em, tiger!' except he wasn't your dad and you weren't ready to get 'em.

When the large oak door is finally in front of your face, you turn around one last time but Jesse's car was pulling off now. At least he waited until you were fully on the doorstep. It was now or never.

Never sounded pretty good.

Working up courage was never your strong front and god, you wished Dina was beside you to knock on the door but she wasn't. You were going to have to do this. Your hand makes contact with the door producing three heavy raps against the door.

She doesn't answer. She doesn't answer for a while. There isn't even a sign of life behind the door. All you hear is the cars honking faintly where you came from.

You begin to feel hopeless. Deciding to give her one final chance, you knock even louder this time. When you hear rustling on the other side of the door, your stomach lurched.

"Coming..." Her voice sounded solemn. A grimace pulled at your features at the sound. You caused that.

The door swung open, it seemed like she didn't even look into the peephole, and she openly gawked at you for a couple seconds — a dusty pink rose underneath the smattering of freckles on her cheeks. Her socked foot tapped against the wooden floor as she leaned against the door. She finally snapped out of her catatonic state.

"Uh," She voices first, "What are you doing... here?" The words were strangled as they came out.

You take your bottom lip in between your teeth. There was no dancing around this, "Can we talk? About this morning?"

Ellie perks up a bit. There is a look of pain still lingering but she looks more eager to share what actually happened. You were eager to hear it.

"Yeah," She opens the door further, waving you to come in, "Please come in. It's cold."

Stepping inside her house gave you a weird feeling. There was such a great memory inside of here but also one that left you with the worst bitter taste in your mouth. You wanted nothing more than to make more amazing memories in here but you needed to hear what exactly happened this morning.

Ellie guides you to the couch, the couch where you talked for hours, which looked as if she had lived on it for the past 10 hours. There were blankets stacked upon each other while water bottles were littered along the table in front of the couch. You saw the noise cancelling headphones strewn on the table and figured that's why she didn't answer.

You sit down on the edge, rubbing your hands on the front of your thighs. Ellie joins you except she is leaning back on the couch but you can tell with how she's wringing her hands, she's just as nervous.

"I guess the most burning question I have is," Ellie sits up at the sound of your voice. Like she was ready to give you any answer you needed, "Who was she? Why did she seem so hurt by me being here?"

Ellie clears her throat, hands tapping on her leg now as she searches for the right words, "That was Cat, my ex-girlfriend," It would be a lie to say you didn't feel some sort of relief at that, "She is having a hard time coming to terms with that, though. As you saw, she still frequently comes to my house even if I tell her not to." Ellie gives a pained laugh before flicking her eyes over to you to gauge your reaction.

You sigh at that, "How long has it been? Since you broke up?"

"Oh," Ellie scoffs, "A while. It's been around.... 7 months? 7 and a half? Long enough. Jesse calls her a pimple that just won't leave." It suddenly makes sense why Jesse wanted you to come talk to her.

A tension lifts off of your shoulders at that. Ellie wasn't playing you for a fool. She just had a clingy ex. Your hand reaches out to grab hers, which she lets happen without any sort of resistance. Ellie even looks at you while a smile tugs at the corners of her lips.

Guilt settles deep within your chest now. You wanted to smile back but the dreadful emotion was eating at your chest. Ellie notices how your body went from relaxed to tense again. She twists back to you.

"Hey, you've gone rigid on me again," She jokes, her hand soothingly stroking your forearm, "What's wrong? Please, tell me or ask me anything. I'll say it all. I don't wanna keep secrets."

Your eyes flicker over to meet hers, tears brimming your waterline. Ellie shakes her head at the sight as if she's telling you not to cry. But the tears still sit in your lash line, threatening to spill over. Ellie's hand comes up to cup your face while the hand holding your hand squeezes tightly trying to reassure you.

You try to blink away the tears but instead one drips down causing Ellie to coo, "I feel like a bitch, Ellie. Didn't even give you the chance-"

Ellie cuts you off, "I wouldn't have given me a chance to explain either," Her voice wobbles a bit, "I don't blame you, who wants to get woken up by that? I just was scared I, fuck is it too early? Whatever, I was scared I lost you this morning."

You purse your lips at that while you shake your head. Ellie continues, "I know we haven't known each other for a while but I want to continue to see you. I think... I think I really like you." Her face flushes a bright red as she says that. Her palm precipitates a light sheen of sweat while she waits for your response. You can see her mentally preparing for the rejection.

You decided not to keep her waiting. She had done enough waiting today, "I want to continue to see you too."

The beaming expression she gives you clears any guilty emotions you had lingering. Now you just needed to show Ellie how much you liked her.

tags: @ellieismami, @minillie, @dankpunks, @elliesgff, @muthafuckingstargirl, @deafelliewilliams, @pinkazelma, @fairybr3ad, @me-and-your-husband, @intrnetdoll, @kyleeservopoulos, @elliewilliamsmunch, @champagnelovers101, @amelies-a-simp, @gloomychuuu, @s1decha, @ellieapologist3, @wrendermedone, @robinbuckleys-wife, @waywardpiratebird, @parkers myth, @guacala, @pinknightsinmymind

#ellie williams imagine #ellie williams x you #ellie williams scenario #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x reader

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rozcdust · 2 years

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Mockingbird

Pairing: Shinichiro Sano x F!Reader

Genre: Crack, fluff, lil angst

Word count: 1.6K

Warnings: Canon divergent, OOC, profanity, mentioned panic attacks, non-graphic mentions of a snake eating

You were born rotten, but he had a chance.

pt. 1 | previous | playlist

Shinichiro nervously checked his watch, the numbers 7:32 flashing back at him like a slap in the face.

He arrived at the meeting spot at 6:50, not wanting to be late a second, fixing his hair and lighting a cigarette to calm his nerves, first only thinking you’ll be a couple of minutes late, no biggie.

But soon 7 p.m. turned into 7:10, then 7:20, and by that point, he was sure you just weren’t gonna show up, that it was just a way to mock him a little more, maybe to decimate his self-esteem entirely.

He already considered throwing the flowers Izana, Mikey and Emma picked for you into the trash and just going to get drunk with Takeomi, already imaging the mocking look on his friend’s face, but he decided to wait a little more, maybe until 8, then he will go wallow in self misery and alcohol and regretting every single life choice he has ever made.

Well, this has been soul-crushing, goodbye any and all self-respect.

“Hey! Lover boy!”

He of all things did not expect to look up and see you running, stopping right in front of him to bend at the waist and hold your side, taking deep, heavy breaths, looking like you’ll collapse.

“Fuck, I am so, so incredibly sorry, I had to drop my brother off at his friend’s but then he got a panic attack and I couldn’t just leave him like that and then there was traffic and-“

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, no worries,” Carefully patting your back, Shinichiro could not hide the way he perked up like a dog being promised a treat, “Is your brother okay? Do you need to go back?”

You came after all!

Shaking your head as you plopped down next to the water fountain, you buried your face in your hands, trying to steady your heartbeat, politely thanking Shinichiro when he handed you a water bottle.

“No, no, I asked him if he wants me to stay but he said to get my ass here, so yeah, he’s fine now, I went to drop him off at 5 so I’d be on time, couldn’t leave him alone, but some* motherfucker in the building was yelling and that set him off and-“

“It’s fine,” Smiling, Shinichiro sat down next to you, carefully settling the flowers by his side, “No need to explain yourself, don’t worry, just catch your breath.”

Nodding as you looked up at him with a smile, your eyes widened as you caught sight of his face, arm instinctively reaching out to ruffle his hair.

“Hey, you left your hair down!” Grinning, you ignored the way his ears flushed, “Also, you look nice. That shirt really suits you.”

“Well, you said I looked cute that way.” He shrugged, trying to play it off cool, as if you hadn’t already made him eat concrete, “And thanks, my little brother bullied me into wearing it- Oh, also, um- These are for you. My siblings helped pick them out.”

Carefully handing the flowers over to you, he felt his soul only slightly die at your confused face.

“Oh, thank you? Sorry, kinda awkward, never received flowers that weren’t from my brother before- Is it okay if I put them in my bag so I don’t lose them?“

Never mind, he suddenly got the desire to live again when you smiled shyly, a finger passing over the petal of one of the tiger lilies in the bouquet.

“Sure, I planned for us to go to an aquarium if that’s okay? I mean, that’s kinda childish now that I think about it, if you wanna go somewhere else that’s totally fine-”

A teasing grin spreading on your face made him stop his speech, his ears to flush a bright pink again as you pulled him up to his feet, standing so close he could feel your breath on his face.

“I would fucking love going to the aquarium and look at some fish.”

“Shin, this one kinda looks like you.”

Shinichiro’s eyes narrowed as he leaned down the observe the fish you were pointing at.

“It looks stupid and confused.”

You flashed him a mischievous grin.

“Exactly!”

“Wow. I’m feeling bullied right now.”

“You should. I am bullying you.”

“Mean. Come on, let’s go see the snakes.” Rolling his eyes, Shinichiro linked his arm with yours, dragging you towards the exhibit.

He half expected you to recoil and scowl at the sight of a large boa, apparently in the middle of a meal, but your eyes lit up like a little kid’s, clearly fascinated as you got a touch too close to the glass.

“You are a little too into watching that snake swallow a mouse alive.” Teasingly, Shin elbowed you, but you swatted at him, finally looking up at him, and he suddenly knew an aquarium was a good choice.

“I live with an 11-year-old kid, of course I think a snake eating a mouse alive is cool.” Sticking your tongue out to him, you let out a short laugh at his scandalised look.

“Oh yeah, been meaning to ask you, you said you had to leave him at a friend’s because no one could watch him?”

Shinichiro saw the way you tensed, slowly turning to face him fully, but he pushed on.

“Are your parents not in town or?”

You scratched the back of your neck, avoiding his gaze as you stared at the snake, deep in thought.

“We don’t live with our parents. They were kinda shitty so I took my brother and left.”

Shinichiro knew a nerve when he touched one. He tried to backtrack, but it seemed a little too late for that now.

“Oh! Oh my God, I’m so sorry-“

You shook your head, smiling softly.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.“

A beat of silence passed.

“Wanna go see the alligators so we can break this awkwardness?”

“Yes, yes, God, please.”

Laughing, you took his hand into yours, starting to talk about how you hoped they were feeding the alligators too, and for a second, he couldn’t help but grin at your childish glee.

“I swear to God, you seem like you never went to an aquarium before.”

Turning your head slightly to give him a look, your smile turned only a touch regretful.

Only a touch angry.

“I actually never did, so this is seriously an excellent date.”

“Ah. I’m glad.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one walking you home?”

“Respectfully, I think I can handle myself more than you can.”

Shinichiro nodded with a small smile as the two of you stopped in front of his house.

“I really had fun today,” Taking a deep, long breath, Shinichiro nervously played with the lighter in his pocket, “I’d like it if we could do this again someday?”

Your smile was gentle as you nodded, opening your mouth to respond, but something caught your eye.

You raised an eyebrow, looking at the tan, white-haired teenager observing you through the window, a younger, blonde child tightly tucked into his arms as the other, equally young and blond child was perched atop his shoulders, all three staring, eyes narrowed.

For a second, you could swear you saw a fourth kid clinging to the teen’s back, but he was gone before you could really process it.

Raising an arm to wave, Shinichiro followed your line of sight, but the teen yanked the curtain closed before he could spot them.

He let out a groan, his hand running through his hair in frustration.

“Sorry, those are my siblings, little menaces. They were half convinced I made up I have a date.”

“Huh, tracks. Were you adopted? They’re all blond.”

Shinichiro gave you a look of utmost betrayal.

“Wow. I’d get it if this was coming from them, they gang up on me all the time anyway, but you? Seriously?”

You raised your arms up in defeat, allowing just a crack of a teasing smile to slip.

“Hey, just saying.”

He sighed, shaking his head.

“I should probably go in, they’ll have so many questions.”

“Oh, sure!” Leaning down to quickly kiss his cheek, right at the corner of his mouth, you grinned at the way his face flushed, “I had a good time too. See you soon, Sano Shinichiro!”

He waved back, waiting on you to turn a corner before storming into the house, on his way to find the little monsters and perhaps tell them off just a little.

And he did, caught them red fucking handed, innocently pretending to do anything but stalking him, Mikey still sat atop Izana’s shoulder as Emma at least tried to pretend to be asleep, face buried into Izana’s neck, but an eye peeking open betraying her.

Sighing, Shinichiro glared.

“Are you all done?”

“We weren’t sure that you weren’t hallucinating.” Izana had the audacity to shrug, Mikey nodding along.

“Or that it wasn’t just Wakasa in a wig.”

“I hate this house.”

Izana rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on, you love us.”

Shinichiro let out a long, theatrical sigh, before ruffling the teen’s hair.

“I, unfortunately, really do.” Shinichiro’s eyes narrowed for just a second as he caught a flash of blue peeking from behind his brother, “Izana. Turn around.”

The teen did as asked, and as expected, Haruchiyo was there, holding onto Izana’s back like his life depended on it as he awkwardly turned his head to send Shin an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, Shin-nii.”

“It’s okay, Haru. I imagine they dragged you into this.”

“We did not!” Mikey complained, but Izana’s muttered ‘We did’ in no way helped his cause.

. . . next

🔖Taglist (open):

@1818cigarettes @nana-phobia @dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @rinsie @kisekihany @missarabellla @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @levistiddies @sanzucide @touyasghost @graythecoffeebean @yukihime-mikeys-girl @mukounisuru-gashadokuro @sunahyejin @crybabylisa @yamaguccitadashi @minoozi @trashmemebitch @frogtits1 @sup-zfam @whydohumansss @xashiui @bontens-whore @nqctre @lumi-does-some-stuff @hana-patata @hxked @erza-uzumaki @sh4nn @sisnot @soushswag @kneeapartman @anahryal @reiners-milkbiddies @satsuri3su @aretheea @bluerskiees @galactict3a @bontensbabygirl @somniari-94 @astropheia @rgtgt @bubble-dream-inc @princesshaitani @luvjiro

a/n: won’t be able to update tomorrow bc i’ll be busy aS FUCK so posting early now to get it off my schedule, plus i really liked writing this chapter 🤧

#tokyorev #tokyo revengers #sano shinichiro x you #sano shinichiro x reader #shinichiro x y/n #shinichiro crack #manjiro sano #izana kurokawa #emma sano #haruchiyo sanzu #shinichiro sano #kazutora hanemiya

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kurisus · 2 years

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Chapter 102-2 thoughts

Considering how eventful this chapter was, I'm surprised I didn't catch wind of any spoilers beforehand. That said, spoilers to follow~

The thing I wanna start with is Yato talking about Hiyori summoning him back from Yomi, but the way he remembers it is as "Yato" rather than "Yaboku" like she actually said. Thus, he's finally mentally broken free of that control Father held over him.

He follows that up by reminding trash dad he's been the one hurting him this whole time, only showing up with crocodile tears and bandages as a way to excuse all he's done.

The pages of the brief fight between Chiki and Rekki, and the one of Yato slicing trash dad's neck open, are so goddamn cool. So satisfying. I will be looking at these pages whenever I need a pick-me-up. My boy finally got 'em :')

Before I get to that, though, I have to laugh at Ebisu this chapter. Man strolls into the gravekeeper's home, almost destroys the shrine, then pauses and asks for the sorcerer's name. Once it's given to him, he lets the guy die and strolls back out, presumably with the name intact. King shit, I love you little businessman boy.

ngl, I didn't really see it coming that all those people with the gravekeeper were dead, too. That's definitely one way to go about receiving the name without having to kill children. And the way they reincorporated that plot detail from Hiyori's grandma was lovely. The writing in this manga is beautiful.

That said, I still don't think we're quite out of the woods. Like I've mentioned before, they told us this place is very, very dangerous and we haven't seen that, still. While my first instinct was to celebrate that Father's finally bitten the dust, there's probably something still yet required to defeat him. idk. it's nagging at me, though. Ebisu's statement "I've already devoted plenty of lives to this" combined with his realization that he's died here in the past almost makes me want to say he has been the gravekeeper in several cycles, but...there was still a line of humans carrying out this duty. He wouldn't have passed the duty back to them, right?

What happened to kill the gravekeeper's family? Why was he left alive, and they were all killed young? The answer to this is probably the same "danger" on this island.

HOWEVER I'm still going to celebrate Father's death. We deserve it. Watching him bleed out while begging for Yato to understand had me like YESSSSSSSS DIE A MISERABLE DEATH.

So yeah let's go back to that. Yato did clarify "Yaboku dies with you" means the version of himself that's tied to his dad will die, like was frantically speculated when he first said that, and he'll be free to live a happy life with his friends.

As much as I want to believe that was really Hiyori and Yukine appearing there at the end, it probably isn't. Yukine is still having a meltdown, and Hiyori is stuck outside of her body with no way to return. Plus we saw Yato's hands just before, and they were stained with blight.

So Father's dying, the gravekeeper did die, Ebisu (presumably) knows his true name, Yato's not in great shape, and Hiyori is running after Mizuchi. What do I think will happen next?

As usual, I have several ideas: Father will reincarnate into a different body. Fujisaki himself will probably either die or wake up in a panic (remember, Father's spirit is outside of the physical body at the moment. I don't know that getting his throat cut would necessarily kill him, if his spirit is still alive). Since Amaterasu has seen Father, she'll be able to track his new body. From there, I would like to say she'll obliterate him for good, but there's still also the nagging question of Heaven's corruption. What if they wanna trap him so they can study him like a bug? What if they kill Amaterasu? What if Father reincarnates as a really young kid, and there's the ethical question of killing children again? What's going to happen to Ebisu and Take, now that they're the ones with the knowledge of his name? The final arc only just started. It wouldn't wrap up after 3 chapters, right? Something else has gotta happen, but what?

I'm definitely going to think more on this and see if I can come up with a more solid idea before next month. We're definitely in the denouement of the series, but as always Adachitoka is staying two steps ahead of all of us. Outfoxed again!

#Noragami #Noragami spoilers #Noragami manga #haha. I'm so afraid next chapter they're gonna be like SIKE IT'S THE LAST ONE #ma'am this is my emotional support manga that traumatizes me every month who am I gonna be without it #live update

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wonusite · 1 year

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Just read a lot of your answers to nsfw asks and i think i found the perfect place to share my "Xu Minghao please fuck me like you havent meditaded for a year" thoughts

Btw i love your and your followers' feral energy over svt men cuz like same lol

Back to Minghao cuz he is fine asf and (please excuse my supernatural ass) vampire Minghao would fuck his s/o so good.

I can picture him being an extremly old, rich, powerfull vampire, he would be one of the last noble vampires from the original clans and he would search for his soulmate every millennium. There was a curse that said you two will not be able to get together until ten thousand years pass and he had to find you in every one of your lifes to prove the gods that he was worthy of your love.

And you had to prove that you would love him in every one of your lifes to show that you were too, worthy his love.

And this is your final battle, after he marries you in this life you will stop reincarnating and become immortal just like your lover.

But, of cours there is a but, you are already married. To his enemy. And the arrangment says you are not allowed to divorce each other, not until one of you dies or you have a kid and raise him until they are of age.

Minghao doesnt want to wait until one of you dies or watch you raise a kid with his enemy (who made up all of this arranged marriage bullshit to make him unsuccessful in his duty) so he kills him with the help of one of the most powerfull magic users, Wen Junhui. Who is also a close friend of yours from the start, not to mention he always helped him find your trace.

After getting a call from Junhui about how his enemy is tied up with chains that are unbreakable and ready to get killed. He approchs you and the second your eyes tear up he knows you remember it all, just like in your previous lifes. (Actually i was planning on making you unable to remember but then this would get even longer, didnt wanna bother you too much)

He kisses you just like this is your first and last kiss, like he havent kissed you for thousands of years and he wont be able to kiss you again. When he lays you down on the bed you had share with his enemy he makes sure the phone is neatly put on the nightstand because he wants to make sure that excuse of a man hears your every noise.

He is as gentle as you remember him to be, he hasnt changed a bit, the only difference is now he is even more in love with you. He slowly undresses you while you whimper and trash under just from little touches of his fingertips on your burning skin. It has been so long since you last made love...

This was longer than i planed it to be and i will not read it again to fix the mistakes i made cuz i feel like i will lose all my courage to send this to you.

Anyways i hope you liked it, please accept me to your seventeen brainrot comunity 🥺

Also i remember i said something about him fucking his s/o so good but there is no fucking included in this ask so yeah

Btw i loved your dilf cheol fic, i didnt know i needed it until i read it and know i cant stop thinking about him rearranging my guts, thank you for that

*takes a deep breath*

OH. MY. FUCKING. GODDDDDDD. STOP EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS SO GOOD FR.

vampire!hao + reincarnation + soulmates + an old curse????? sign me tf up. just imagining the pining and the yearning has me 😮‍💨

ok but just picture him sliding into ur awaiting cunt and ur body just reacts to him so naturally bc it also recognizes him. you’re so vocal and hao feels like he can die happy at that moment. you two make love all night, not wanting to separate since it’s been so long that you two were in each other’s arms.

and plsss this was so good i love it vv much fr. ur always welcome to send me asks bc i love getting them omfg.

AND STOP OFC U CAN BE AN OFFICIAL WONUSITE THOT SO HAPPY YOU WANT TO BE INDUCTED OMFGGGG 🥹🫰🏼

#so glad u liked dilf cheol btw #welcome to the wonusite thots #so happy to have you #ask #yandere-stories #nalani.thotz

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perspectivestarters · 1 year

Text

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Save Rock and Roll by Fall Out Boy (Part II)

THE MIGHTY FALL

"Oh god!"

"Why the hell is there a light that's keeping us forever?"

"Did you get dressed up?"

"I can't stop it when there's chemicals keeping us together."

"How the mighty fall."

"They fall in love."

"Oh, how the mighty fall in love."

"Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme."

"I'm dizzy on dreams."

"If you ask me two's a whole lot lonelier than one."

"Baby, we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it."

"You think your only crime is that you got caught."

"It's getting clear, you're never coming clean."

I know you said not to call unless I'm dying.

"Even though my eyes closed, I still see you."

"I just hope that when you see me, I'm not see-through."

"Sometimes I swear, I need a day just for me."

"Like, I let her climb on top."

"I'm either fuckin' or workin', so the grind don't stop."

"They say I got screws missing, well hell, only when I'm missing you."

MISS MISSING YOU

"Don't panic."

"No, not yet."

"I know I'm the one you want to forget."

"Cue all the love to leave my heart."

"It's time for me to fall apart."

"Your hot whiskey eyes have fanned the flame."

"Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight."

"Let the fire breathe me back to life."

"Baby, you were my picket fence."

"I miss missing you now and then."

"Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger."

"The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger."

"We're fading fast."

"I see through you when we're sitting in the dark."

"So give me your filth, make it rough."

"Let me trash your love."

"I will sing to you every day."

"I've heard you got it so bad."

"I am the best you'll never have."

DEATH VALLEY

"I want to see your animal side."

"Let it all out."

"I wanna see the dirt under your skin."

"I need your broken promises."

"I want the guts and glory, baby."

"This town is wasted and alone."

"Don't take love off the table yet."

"Tonight, it's just fire alarms and losing you."

"We love a lot, so we only lose a little."

"But we are alive."

"Oh, there you go, undress to impress."

"You can wear the crown but you're no princess."

"We're going to die, it's just a matter of time."

"Hard times come, good times go."

"I'm either gone in an instant or here 'til the bitter end."

"What I've got will make you feel more alive."

"I'll be your favorite drug."

YOUNG VOLCANOES

"We're the beginning of the end."

"Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds."

"It's all over now."

"Before it has begun, we've already won."

"We are wild."

"We are like young volcanoes."

"C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered."

"We will teach you how to make boys next door out of assholes."

RAT A TAT

"It's (Name), bitch."

"No thesis existed for burning cities down at such a rampant rate."

"They just DIY'd that shit and they built their own bombs."

"She's his suicide blonde."

"She's number than gold."

"Are you ready for another bad poem?"

"One more off key anthem."

"Remember me as I was, not as I am."

"I kept wishing she had blonde ambition and she'd let it go to my head."

"If my love is a weapon, there's no second guessing when I say."

"If my heart is a grenade, you pull the pin and say."

"You need to lower your standards."

"It's never getting any better than this."

"You settled your score."

"This is where you come to beg."

"This is what we do, baby, we nightmare you."

"I'll take your heart served up two ways."

"I'm the lonelier version of you."

"I just don't know where it went wrong."

"She's sick and she's wrong."

"I've seen bigger."

"I've lit better."

"Not a dry eye left in the house."

"Talk less, mean more."

"Go boy, run for your life."

"Let's be electric, like we were before."

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL

"I need more dreams and less life."

"I need that dark in a little more light."

"I cried tears you'll never see."

"So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean, and leave me be."

"You are what you love, not who loves you."

"In a world full of the word 'yes', I'm here to scream no."

"Wherever I go, trouble seems to follow."

"I only plugged in to save rock and roll."

"Blood brothers in desperation."

"An oath of silence for the voice of a generation."

"How'd it get to be only me?"

"I'm the last damn kid still kicking that still believes."

"I will defend the faith."

"Oh no, we won't go."

"We don't know when to quit."

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #*mystarters #*srar

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sl-newsie · 1 year

Text

Chapter Seven: Remembering (Spot Colon x Female Newsie)

I lay down ta sleep that night, think’n ‘bout why Jack didn’t want me near Brooklyn. Afta toss’n and turn’n, I can’t help but remember when I first met him…

5 years ago…

3 days. I’d been on my own for 3 days, and I’d already felt like I was gonna either die by hunger, or by being mugged. I hadn’t planned on it- Father was just in another bad mood, but this time he’d beat me a little bit harder. In a fit of rage and fear, I’d grabbed my coat and a single apple, along with the only thing left from Mother: a simple gold ring.

I’d already learned not to show off that I was a girl, and that I could get scraps from sympathetic mothers. Tonight, however, it’s raining and I don’t have a place to go. If I linger too long in one place, some bum comes out with a broom, trying to shoo me away like I'm a stray dog.

I’ll never go back to him, but what else can I do?

“God, what can I do?!” I whisper-sob as I fall to my knees underneath a fire escape. The rain washes out my tears, and I feel I couldn’t be more alone… when an unexpected hand gently pats my shoulder. I look up, quickly wiping the tears off my face so I seem tough. It’s a boy, about my age, wearing a red bandanna and a… cowboy hat?

“Are you lost?” he asks in a worried tone.

I hesitate to answer. I’d played this game before- let a guy know I'm alone and he thinks he can walk all over me.

“I'm… I'm waiting for someone.”

He looks at me questingly, then says: “Maybe, but if you’s like me they’ll neva come. You’s all alone, ain’t ya?” Before I can come up with a rebuttal, he says: “It’s ok. I ain’t gonna hurt ya. I’m Jack,” he extends his hand, which I cautiously shake. “You need a home, don’t ya?”

“I’m just fine,” I say, even if I don’t believe myself.

Jack chuckles, but then seriously says: “You’s not fine! Why else would ya be out in tha rain? How would ya like ta come with me ta tha lodg’n house? Me and all tha Manhattan newsies live there. You’d have a home, a family, and a start’n job of sell’n papes.”

I squint. “Is it hard?”

“Nah. Not if ya go by a few tips I has to offa.”

I frown. “Are all the newsies guys?”

Jack scrunches his face. “Why should that madda? You’s an orphan just like all of us- ya should be treated just tha same.”

“Well, I’m actually not an orphan. I… ran away.”

Jack isn’t fazed. “Did they beat ya?”

“A little. But-”

“Did they treat ya like trash?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Then you’s an orphan.”

“Just my fadda. My modda’s… dead.” I look down as not to show my sadness.

“I’m sorry ‘bout your modda. Look, here’s tha deal: you’s come stay tha night and tomorrow I’ll show ya how to sell. If ya don’t like it, ya can move on. And I promise: nobody’s gonna hurt ya. We’s a family, and we’s all look out for each odda.”

I consider this. I guess I don’t have much of a choice.

“Ok.”

“Great! What’s your name?”

“Rebecca Carlyle.”

Jack’s eyes go wide. “Carlyle? As in tha rich bum across town?”

I nod.

“Ok, here’s my first tip: Don’t go tell’n folks yer name. If you’s wanna stay away from yer fadda, keep your mouth shut, ‘cause when people hear you’s Carlyle’s daudda they’ll be dragg’n ya back for cash.”

I nod intensely, never having thought of that myself.

“As far as anyone knows, you’s Becca, or Becs. And ya have my last name, Kelly. Becca Kelly. Got it?”

I nod again.

“Good. Now, let’s get oudda this rain.”

I follow him through the water-soaked city until we get to a 3-story building with life a-buzz inside it. I then notice the sign says: Newsboys Lodging House.

I frown, and Jack notices.

“Don’t worry- Kloppman’ll let you stay here. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Um… ok.”

“By the way, how old are ya?”

“I’m 12 in two weeks.”

“Hey, I’s 12 just 3 months ago! Guess this makes me your big brodda!”

“Oh… thanks.” I say, joy peek’n through the clouds in my mind.

As soon as we enter, noise fills my ears. Jack takes my hand comfortingly and leads me up the stairs. On the way up I see lots of boys- some sleep’n, oddas are chatt’n or just lay’n in bed. A few notice me, but only a select few take interest. When we reach the top floor, the one I’m assuming has all the older guys, a bunch of calls ring out.

“Hey Jack!”

“Welcome back, Cowboy!”

“Where were ya?”

“It’s pour’n outside!”

There’s all kinds of characters: a kid with an eye patch, one with a crutch, another with a cigar- and lots more. Then they notice me.

“Who’s tha kid?” One in tha corner asks- one in a bad mood, I’d say.

“Fellas, this is Becs. Or you can call her Becca.”

“Wait- she’s a goil?”

“That’s right, and she’s gonna be stay’n with us, so make her feel welcome. No mess’n around, right Race?” Jack asks, directed toward the kid with the cigar.

“No problem, Cowboy.” He looks at me. “Hey doll, ya don’t need ta be spooked by me,” he says with a goofy grin.

“Also, you’s gonna need ta keep your tuck yer hair in unda a cap,” says someone else.

“And dress in a shirt and nickas.”

“Yeah, that way ya get taken more seriously. And don’t tell ‘em you’s a goil.”

“Why?” I ask, not entirely sure.

“I don’t know! ‘Cause- ‘cause they’s think it’s weird fer a goil ta dress like a guy? It ain’t ‘traditional.’”

“Um… ok?”

“But don’t think we’s don’t think you’s pretty,” the first kid says, earn’n a few punches from the oddas. But I can’t help smile. Maybe these guys ain’t so bad afta all.

A cute guy with curly hair and wide eyes sticks out his hand.

“Hiya! My name’s Crutchy, ‘cause of my bad leg. Nice ta meet ya!”

Shyly, I take his hand and shake. It feels nice to be wanted...

That night, I got ta know tha fellas bedda, and even got my own bunk, and had tha best sleep I’d had in months- and I had Jack ta thank for all of it. And a few months lada I got ta meet Specs…

I think I’s gett’n tha hang of this newsie business! I sold all my papes by noon, and had time ta watch tha horses with Race! Now it’s gett’n inta even’n, and I just wanna relax in tha lodg’n house. On tha way up I call out ta tha younga newsies, who reply with yawns and sleepy smiles. When I reach tha top, I see Jack- and some odda guy. One with glasses, which really sets him apart. That and he’s always caught up in a book. At foist I didn’t think much of it- lots-a guys come and go. But this one’s been stay’n a while. It’s got me wonder’n- is he stay’n?

I walk up and look at Jack for an explanation.

“Hiya, Becs. This here’s Specs.”

‘Specs’ smiles friendly and waves. “Hello.”

“So you’s tha one who likes ta read?”

He nods. “Yeah. I can read, but I can’t write too good. I’m try’n though.”

“Where’d ya learn?”

“My folks had me in school ‘til last year. They…” he frowns. “They died. Sickness took ‘em.”

My face falls. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. I’ve learned ta look afta myself, and try ta continue my education. It’s what my folks would’ve wanted.”

I nod. “I can write. Ya want any help?”

Specs’ eyes light up. “Really? Ya’d do that?”

“Why not? I’s just glad you ain’t look’n at me funny.”

He frowns. “Why would I do that?’

“‘Cause Imma goil, and folks don’t look too kindly on a goil with an attitude who can read and write.” I cross my arms.

Specs gapes, look’n me up and down. “You’re a goil?”

“Yup.”

“What are ya do’n here?”

“Same as you. Got nowhere else ta go, needed a job.”

“Well, I feel anybody can be smart, boy or goil. Thanks for tha offa. I mean it.”

I smile. “Thanks. But for right now, you’s bedda claim a bunk- ‘cause Skittery and Blink always have a brawl ova ‘em!”

Specs picks a bunk near tha door, and as soon as he does everyone starts shov’n fer bunks. Mine is always tha one by tha window- and they’s all know it.

Maybe I just helped Specs make some new friends.

3 years later...

When Benny started his gang, he specifically picked me out to be his target. No clue why. He’d try to bully me into giv’n him my papes, ‘til they’d start pick’n fights with me. Word spread fast that they were no good, and soon every newsie knew to watch each oddas backs. But it still kept me awake at night.

“Benny will neva go away,” I complained to Jack one night while we was up on tha roof. “How can I’s look forward ta be’n harassed by-”

“Hey, hey! You know I’s always gonna be there for ya.” He sits up next ta me. “I’m your brodda- I ain’t gonna let a guy near ya- it’s in tha job description. Don’t worry. See all those stars up there… Hey- have I eva told ya ‘bout my newest dream?”

“No. What is it?” I ask curiously.

“That one day, you and me go ta this place out west. It’s called: Santa Fe.”

My eyes squint. “What's it like?”

“Like this.” He pulls out a picture of a beautiful landscape covered in sunset.

“Whoa…”

“When I dream on my own,” Jack starts sing’n softly.

“I'm alone but I ain't lonely.

For a dreamer, nights the only time a day.

When the city's finally sleeping and my thoughts begin to stray,

And I'm on the train that's bound for Santa Fe.

And I'm free like the wind,

Like I'm gonna live forever!

It's a feeling time can never take away!

All I needs a few more dollars,

And I'm outta here to stay!

Dreams comes true, yes they do

In Santa Fe.”

Jack stands up and sings ta tha sky:

“Where does it say that you gotta live and die here?

Where does it say a guy can't catch a break?

Why should you only take what you're given?”

He pulls me up with him to emphasize his point.

“Why should you spend your whole life livin'

Trapped where they ain't no future, when you’s only fourteen.

Breaking your back for someone else's sake.

If the life don't seem to suit ya how bout a change of scene

Far from the lousy headlines and the deadlines in between?”

He stops, breath’n heavily. I didn’t know Jack could sing, but now all I’s could think about was this new, thrill’n dream… this new hope…

“You’ll come with me, Rebecca.”

I smile. “Really? Can I?”

“‘Course ya can! And in Santa Fe, nobody cares if you’s a goil or not, nobody cares who ya are!”

“Wow...”

I gave up on that beautiful dream 2 years lada. It was just a horizon I’s was run’n to and neva gett’n near, so I just set my sights on sell’n papes. 'Course tha fellas realized sooner or lata that I’d grown into a ‘lady’, they said, but that didn’t make much a difference as I thought it would. Jack kept his woid, a little too well. No guy, besides tha Manhattan newsies, eva came near me, which was both a bless’n and a curse.

Through thick ‘n thin, Jack’s always been there.

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turbo12334 · 2 years

Text

Have you ever felt like you’re falling? What am I kidding, of course you have. You wouldn’t be a human if you’ve never had the feeling that life was out of control, there wouldn’t be art, or music, or books like these if people didn’t experience emotions so deep, not even the languages we use to communicate can describe them. The feeling is usually described in a few different ways, it could feel like there’s no more control over your actions. Almost like you’re on autopilot, a robot even. Just an empty sack of a previously lively person. You feel tired, but you can’t sleep. You feel hungry, but food doesn’t satisfy you. You feel empty. Like nothing. For other people it could be very overwhelming. You’re stressed, you’re freaking out, and struggling with overthinking. You feel like you should be doing things to help everyone or you're a horrible person because you are not constantly there for everyone. Either way, it’s not usually described as a fun experience. If you’re anything like me, you immediately feel terrible for telling people about these emotions. You feel like they already have enough going on and this conversation just made things significantly worse, and if you’re just like me. This affects the people you hold closest. God I’d love to tell my mom what’s on my mind, but she’s a single mom of four with a draining job. Why the hell would she wanna know about her teenage daughter's issues? It sucks. There’s always something going on and I feel like an inconvenience. Even if they say I’m not. Because believe me, I’ve asked. I’ve asked so many times if I was being annoying, I’ve asked so many times if they've wanted me to go away. I Still feel like absolute trash for just being there. I try to be good. I try to succeed, and do what they want. I guess you could call me a people pleaser. I hate that, but it’s pretty much what I do. I put everything into tasks and favors and I sit there and listen and I do this and I do that just to make sure these people know I care about them. It’s gut wrenching, and tring, and nothing is worse than when they don’t return the effort you put into that relationship. You would literally die for this person, but they act like they don’t care or appreciate what you do for them.

People are selfish

people suck

people leave.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Why don’t you just stop caring, stop putting yourself in this situation.” How do you just leave someone? How do you just stop caring? You love this person, it’s your duty to be there, your duty to care. It feels like doing stuff like this is all you can do. I hate feeling like this is the only thing I can do for people to like me. I always feel like no one likes me because I’m me, they like me because I’m dependable and able to tolerate the terrible stuff they do. I guess a good solution to this kind of problem would be to get hurt. You care, and you care, and then you care and the person leaves. That sting of rejection, that hurt.. that is the experience that will scare you out of putting your all into relationships with terrible people. Cause they’ll leave, and it’s going to hurt. I know it’s going to hurt.

People tell you your bodies a temple, you’re a queen/king, follow what makes you happy. These days people will shame you for what makes you happy, it sucks but its the sad reality of this world. It makes people scared and embarrassed to do what makes them happy. Because these days you’ve gotta fit the mold. Or you’re not welcomed.

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ryatnavarro · 21 days

Text

CHARACTER INTRO:

NAME: Ryat Forrest Navarro

AGE: 35

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Male. He/Him.

SEXUALITY/STATUS: Bisexual | Single.

OCCUPATION: Tattoo Artist. Owner of Sinful Ink

BIRTHDAY: July 3rd, 1988

HOMETOWN: Wilmington, North Carolina

NEIGHBORHOOD: South Hills

FACECLAIM: Shiloh Fernandez

PINTEREST | BIOGRAPHY

BACKGROUND:

TW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DEATH, OVERDOSE, CHILD NEGLECT

The second oldest of 7.

Has 3 sisters, and 3 brothers. Michaela "Mikey" at 38, Abigail "Abby" at 30, Atlas "AJ" at 29, Levi at 27, Maddison "Maddi" at 17, and Alexander "Alex" who would be 34, but died in a car accident at 20.

Has a 14 year old nephew, named Noah Alexander, through Abigail, in which she had when she was 16, finding out sometime after the death of their brother.

Both parents are trash, Kelly and Richard, rightfully nicknamed 'Dick' by his kids, never lived life like they had kids. Therefore, this left the oldest kids to raise the younger, more so, Mikey.

Before Ryat was 8, there were already 6 Navarro children.

Their mother, Kelly, would serve time in prison, for ten years. Once she was out, she and her husband would go on to produce another child. This one being the last and final kid.

At 19, just a year after the birth of this baby sister, Maddi, Ryat would find his mom OD-ing, with a screaming infant next to her. Instead of calling for help, Ryat stood over his mother as he held his baby sister, and watched her die.

Their father was sadden by this, while all the kids had differences in opinions.

From the time he could work, to 27, Ryat would bounce from dead end job to dead end job. Finding no passion in any of them. He'd eventually come to find a career in art, but more then that, tattooing.

Falling under the wing of Jonah King, the owner of Sinful Ink, Ryat would go onto find a place he belonged. When Jonah stepped back for family reasons, he knew Ryat was the next best thing to take over for him.

His family are a tough group to handle, especially when they're all together. They have bit of a rep that perceives them.

But there is no mistaking that this family is tight knit, and they ride for their own hard.

SOME HEADCANONS:

Loves to play guitar. Can sing, and can also write music, but not many are aware of that.

Has had multiple piercings through out his life. Currently has his tongue and nose pierced. Has had his nipples pierced at one point, as well as his lip.

Loves cars. Knows how to work on cars. Will sometimes do so just for fun.

Covered in tattoos.

Will sometimes paint his nails. Black is a popular color for him.

Owns a motorcycle. Also loves to do races. Live big, or go home.

Despite being rougher around the edges, is rather loyal. And good with kids, and animals.

Likes to wear jewelry. A chain, bracelets, rings, have be it.

Likes to draw and paint.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

FRIENDS: He's easy enough to be around. Can be a little rough around the edges, and insane, but most find they have a good time with him.

ENEMIES/I DON’T REALLY LIKE YOU: Not everyone likes everyone.

COWORKERS: Tattoo artists, other piercers, people he's worked for/with in the past.

CLIENTS: Anyone with tattoos.

EXES: I'm not sure how many committed relationships he'd have. As he's rather hard to get to settle down. So, this could be a lucky one, or this could be many that failed miserably and likely cause of him.

FWBS: He's not really great with commitment, but you know, he loves sex, so -- no brainer.

CONNECTED THROUGH SIBLINGS: He had siblings from ages 38 all the way down to 17, so this could be an array of options, truly.

I KNEW YOUR BROTHER: His one brother died in a car accident at 20, and he would've been 34 now. So, maybe someone who was close to him.

TRULY ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, FOR REAL. I JUST WANNA LOVE ON Y’ALL AND BE LOVED. OK THANK YOU

#( about. )#( intro. )

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ncody · 2 years

Text

Long Fall Break

Characters

Mom

Null, son

Fiero, friend of Null

Luke, friend of Null

The Crone

[Mom, Null, Fiero, Luke enter the Cabin stage right, carrying baggage.]

Mom. Here we are. Hope it’s all still in one piece!

Null. Whoa! Smells like rotten eggs in here!

Luke. Oh, that’s nasty. Smells like something rotten.

Fiero. Yea. Whew! Smells like something died in here.

Luke. It smells like more than one thing died in here.

Fiero. It smells like something died, was brought back to life, and then it swallowed raw sewage and died again.

Null. It smells like Fiero’s feet after soccer practice!

Mom. Enough! Sweetie, open the windows. And the ones in the kitchen too.

Null. Yes, your Highness. [Exits stage left to the kitchen].

Fiero. Don’t open the windows! [Everyone pauses]. You’ll contaminate the entire world!

Mom. Let’s turn on these fans too. There’s the switch.

Null. [returns with a plastic bowl] Found ‘em. Three dead mice. [Shows everyone the bowl] They were all huddled together. As if they were bracing for impact.

Luke. Impact from what?

Null. From Death. [Laughter for all others]

Mom. Poison maybe. Throw those outside in the trash. The bowl too. [Null exits stage left]. There, it’s clearing up already. It’ll be better before too long. Now look, you are Null’s best friends. See if you can talk some sense into him, would you please? He’s had a rough spell. You know that better than anyone. Use these three days wisely [Null re-enters] By Monday, you’ll all be back bracing for the impact of your final exams. [Gives washing hands gesture to Null] Soap and hot water, in the kitchen, now.

Null. Yes, your Majesty.

Mom. I’ll be back tomorrow morning with some breakfast for you guys. Don’t stay up too late because you promised to help with the weeding tomorrow.

Fiero. Give me the weed cutter and I’ll flattened the lot in an hour!

Mom. Fiero, you’re an angel. Now everyone, before I go, I know ya’ll don’t wanna hear this, but we gotta go over the ground rules one last time. [Collective groans]

Null. [Null re-enters from kitchen] Collective groans! The Three Nos!

Mom. Yea, yea, yea. Listen. No drugs or alcohol: I promised I wouldn’t search your bags, so this is an honors system. Number two, no swearing. Keep it clean, ok? Number three, No Phones! At least until Monday morning. Those things are making mush of your brains. I pity your generation. Try it Mom’s Way J

Fiero. Huddle up! [The three friends huddle up.] “Let’s get this done!”

Mom. That’s the spirit! If you’re looking for something to do, admire the sunset! You won’t have to wait long. Smooches, Muah! Muah! Muah! Be good! [exits stage left]

Null. [Slouching in a chair] I can’t believe we actually agreed to this.

Luke. Ah, it won’t be so bad. Maybe there’s a boardgame or something we can play.

Fiero. Let’s shoot something! Tell me you guys at least have a BB gun in this place. No? Then what about bathroom cleaner? And some baking soda. I can make a wicked explosion from that stuff.

Null. We’re not supposed to have any fun. It’s against the rules. We’re supposed to suffer and nearly die of boredom. I guess so that we see the value of…I forgot what.

Luke. Not true! Your mom just wants us to uncover--or is it recover--our latest humanity.

Fiero. “Latent humanity.” What we left behind, buried, or whatever, when we started using our phones. Your mom is so philosophical!

Null. I’d rather get caught up on my sleep. Or is that one of the Nos too?

Luke. Dude, you sleep way too much as it is. I’m sure we can find something to do.

Fiero. Halo Apocalypse, that’s my playground. Enjoy your little vacation away from Living Hell, my friends. When we get back to the PX [peering through a sniper scope], your skulls are mine. I don’t know if I can make it three whole days without shooting you guys in the head.

Luke. Because you’re a wussie sniper who is much, much too afraid to engage a close-quarters specialist.

Null. If I don’t get expelled first…

Fiero. [to Luke] Mr. Shotguns, how charming you look through my scope. Shame to make a mess out of your pretty head.

Luke. Three days of trash talking! That sounds productive!

Null. Look, there goes the sunset.

Fiero. It looks like an A bomb!

Luke. Seriously, guys. There’s got to be something to do around here. [searching the cupboard] Hey! This’ll do. Anyone for Risk?

Fiero. Ohhh! World domination, that’s right in my line.

Null. No dice.

Luke. Oh, come on. Let’s play at least one game. It’ll pass the time.

Null. No dice.

Luke. What’s the matter with you? Mr. Depressed, depressive, depressing… Break the spell, bro!

Null. I mean there’s no dice in the box. I remember from last year. We couldn’t play. I don’t know what happened to them. They just weren’t there.

Luke. Major bummer!

Fiero. Maybe we could use a coin? Coin toss to determine battle outcomes instead of a die roll?

[All three pat their pockets but find nothing.]

Null. No nickel. No dime. No quarter.

Luke. Not one red cent. [Fiero and Luke mull around the cabin, searching].

Fiero. Fiero finds the boom box! Not sure how much boom this thing’s got though. It’s pretty tiny!

Null. Good luck finding any music. We cleaned this place out after my dad…[pause] Yea.

[Fiero and Luke exchange looks.]

Luke. I’ll check the kitchen. Might be something in those drawers.

Null. Doubt it.

Fiero. We don’t need no stinking cds, no boom box, we got OURSELVES. [Fiero starts imitating the start to Another One Bites The Dust. Luke returns empty-handed. The beat is contagious. Almost against his will, Null starts to warm up his dance moves. Fiero and Null continue, looking at Luke.]

Luke. I ain’t pulling off no Freddy Mercury. Sorry to disappoint. Gimme something easier. Maybe Johnny Cash?

Fiero. Ok, dig this. [Whistling the opening to “Delirious”]

Luke. I get delirious, whenever your near. Lose all self control baby, just can’t steer…

Null. Hey wait a sec. You guys hear that? [Slight sound of cat’s meow offstage].

Fiero. Hear what?

Luke. Shh!

[Sound of meowing gets a little louder].

Null. Sparkles? [Null runs stage left into the kitchen. Brings back a phone making the meow sounds. Fiero and Luke laugh and point at Null.]

Fiero. Got you, man. You should have seen your face. Sparkles???

Null. You bastards!

Fiero and Luke. Language!

Luke. That’s my backup phone. Did you think Sparkles followed your mom’s truck and ran the entire 90 miles to get here?

Null. Man, it’s a reflex. When I hear my sweetie pie, I just drop everything and serve! Anyway, I thought we agreed, no phones?

Luke. It’s hardly a phone now. No connection. Besides, it’s about 10 years old. I think the Calculator App works. Yep, that’s about it. Multiplication anyone?

Null. You’re multiplying my boredom.

Fiero. Funny, you weren’t supposed to bring your phone, and I wasn’t supposed to bring THESE. [Shakes a small jar of pills].

Luke. Whoa! Not sure I like the sound of that. Shake it again.

Null. Will they help me get to sleep?

Fiero. Get this. I’ve never had one, but these are used to treat schizophrenia. Bomb, right?

Luke. No way. Count me out. Pills that treat illness probably have the opposite effect on the sane, right?

Fiero. Wrong. I googled it. One of them just makes you giggly. Two is like rainbows and unicorns. And three is NOT advised.

Null. Man, I’d rather drink tap water.

Fiero. We can do both. [smiles and gives Null one. Luke holds up two fingers. Fiero and Luke exchange knowing glances.] Uno, dose, tres for me! Down the hatch.

Null. Where the hell did you…

Fiero and Luke. Language!

Null. Get schizophrenia drugs???

Fiero. Online, duh! These are called placebos. [More knowing looks exchanged with Luke].

Null. Isn’t that the stuff that a baby in the womb lives off of?

Luke. Dude, that’s the placenta. [Laughter]

Null. Can’t feel anything yet.

Fiero. Duh! It’s only been 20 seconds. Besides, some of these powerful ones don’t take effect for about 10 years. Then, without even knowing why, you’ll start doing odd, bonkers things, like buying a mini-van and attending Taylor Swift concerts.

Luke. Did the smell go away, or did we just finally get used to it?

Null. Hey, do you guys remember when we fought that orc hunting party in the Underdark?

Fiero. Oh man, and they had a troglodyte! Nobody could swing their swords because we were all retching too hard. It’s really, really is hard to puke and run at the same time. Why didn’t we bring our old D&D books! This long weekend would have been perfect! One last adventure…

Luke. First of all, it’s been ages. Second of all, since Matteo ditched us for freaking West Point, we have no Dungeon Master, and third, if my wizard becomes any more powerful, you’ll all be consigned to shining his boots in retirement.

Null. If we were all puking, how could the orcs stand it?

Fiero. Nose plugs?

Luke. Anyway, you know I was just teasing you. Your cleric had the greatest all time save, bro! Back when my wizard could only cast cantrips. [Extends hands magically] Boil water!

Fiero. The Crone! Yea, what an adventure! Blast from the past. We were on Death’s door there.

Luke. [Points to Fiero]. Your ranger was out of arrows. And blinded on top of it all! My wizard was in the grips of the Crone’s Weeping enchantment. And my brother’s barbarian—Mosh! He named his barbarian Mosh!—was Gold Struck and counting coins in a corner of the dungeon.

Null. Man, Matteo wasn’t pulling any punches with that old witch. No doubt.

Fiero. After you saved the day, everything became more obvious. But up until then…the clues were super subtle. How did you know what to do?

Null. Believe me, I was gripping my mace, ready to go down fighting. She had her back to me too, and I was just about to throw a haymaker. Which we know now wouldn’t have worked at all anyway. And then, I don’t know. Maybe it was how Matteo described her, and yeah, she had scraggly, greasy grey hair, but something about how he described her reminded me of my mom. I don’t know, man! I just had gut feeling.

Luke. Sheer genius! Who decides to cast a heal spell on the enemy in a Boss fight? Heal True, for the win! [fist bump with Null.]

Fiero. Lucky I wasn’t playing the cleric. I woulda swung the mace for sure! [Laughter]

Fiero. [Swatting at a mosquito]. I think the little suckers are more vicious out here. I’ve definitely lost half a pint of blood tonight.

Null. I wish mosquitos were big enough to punch. [Makes a feeble jab].

Fiero. Oh yea, that vicious jab would definitely do the trick. Lucky for them they are so small.

Null. That stuff you gave me still isn’t working.

Fiero. That’s because it was baby aspirin. We were just trying to fake you out; bring you out of the doldrums.

Null. Wouldn’t that be nice. Take one little pill and become a new person, with all new memories.

Luke. Hey, I know something we can try.

Null. As long as it isn’t homework.

Luke. Well, it’s not exactly NOT homework. [others groan] I wrote a one-act play for Mr. Pepper’s Creative Writing class, and I’m not sure about the ending. It’s called Long Fall Break.

Fiero. Sounds like a meteorite! Long…Fall…Break! [acting it out with her hands, then Exits].

Null. Everyone dies, just like the dinosaurs.

Luke. Come on, I’m almost finished.

Null. You and your half-finished projects. They’re never-ending. Literally!

Luke. Hey, at least I start some of them! Look at you, Mr. Living Dead. Besides, it’s basically finished. I just need your feedback on the ending.

Fiero. [Enters carrying a plunger]. Anyone got a headache? Come over here, I can fix that. Just lay down with your ear facing up.

Null. I’m the living dead. I don’t get headaches.

Fiero. Well, you got ears, don’t ya?

Luke. Please, guys! Let me think of the ending here…It starts with the entrance of The Crone.

Null. What? What are you bringing that up for again?

Luke. Because I want to use her in my play. Her Mind Control is such a wicked super power!

Fiero. I’d rather be able to shoot fire…[interrupted by a meow sound, and they all pause] balls.

Luke and Null. [flatly] Language. [All look stage left for the source of the meowing].

Null. Luke, turn that off. Why do you always have to be messing with me?

Luke. [Looking down at his old phone] It’s off. Battery is dead. [Holds up dead phone to Null]

[Null runs off stage—exits stage left—sound of the back door can be heard. Fiero half pursues].

Luke. Man, I’m never gonna get this project done. Let me see. My wizard draws his magic circle [makes gestures on the floor with his hand], performs the spell somatic of the incantation, and intones, “ULU SUL, LAN GOL, HASOMAH!”

[Null shouts off stage] I think there’s someone coming!

Luke. [Sighs] Give me a second, I’ll go get him. [Luke exits. Fiero listens, almost pursues, then pauses center stage].

Fiero. What? You seriously think it’s Sparkles? Quit tripping! You know it was just BABY ASPIRIN, I gave you guys, right?

[A figure cloaked in black rises from behind Fiero. She touches Fiero’s head. Fiero collapses.]

The Crone. What is this place? A theater…Mhmm. Yes, it is. What is the meaning of this? Who brought me THROUGH? [The Crone points to someone in the audience.] Are you at fault?

[Audience member shies away.] Ha, ha. I don’t know what’s going on.

The Crone. Is that why you’re crying? Why are you crying? [Audience member breaks down.]

[Enter Luke.]. Fiero, oh that’s a wicked cloak. Ok, so you stand over here. [The Crone approaches him.] I said stand over here. Wait, where did you get a jedi cloak?

The Crone. Are you the wizard?

Luke. Umm, I’m a college sophomore.

The Crone. Open the door. I said: Open the Door. OPEN THE DOOR!

Luke. Oh god, umm, gesture of the incantation, utter the verbal component, “ULU SUL, LAN GOL, HASOMAH?”

The Crone. [Looks over her should, stage right and sees the door. She casts a spell and Luke begins hopping up and down.]

Luke. Oh, oh, hot feet, hot feet!

The Crone. [Looks up by Lecture Hall entrance] My Other is coming. [She exits through the door, stage right].

[Fiero wakes up and looks confusedly at Luke who is sitting on the stage, fanning his feet.]

[Enter mom carrying a lit birthday cake, followed by Null].

Mom. This was supposed to be a surprise! What were you doing outside?

Null. I thought I heard Sparkles, so I went to check.

Mom. Sparkles??? What would she be doing out here? Sparkles is at home, silly. Probably sleeping.

Null. Long story.

Mom. Well, tell it to me. We have time. But first, let’s all gather round so you can blow out your candles. [Mom and Null stand by Luke and Fiero, center stage].

Null. [Big smile] WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER!

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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VERY very Unpopular opinion: Shippers most of the time are harmless

Now Just hear me out, before you misunderstood me or call me a shipper (and I am not).

I used to really hate shippers, especially some particular shippers of some groups , I was annoyed at them and thought that they are “hurting my idols”. But after some time I really just ignore them, I don’t get mad or pressed when i see someone shipping someone. Yes , it’s not really good thing , but look at this:

1. People who are shipped with someone are people who are famous. Famous people receive on daily basis an insane amount of Hate, death threats. If we talk about famous singers, then they most of the time also have some problems with their managers/ label, face people over sexualizing them, face crazy fans and stalkers and many many more… on top of that a lot of them are also overworked, so really really tired both mentally and physically… now… do you really think that among all of those things it’s shippers who are the worst and hurt your idols the most? If you think like this , you might be really out of your mind, because shippers always were and will always be just people who made their own pov on smth and have their own opinion. What’s wrong with opinions? They are not hurtful most of the times.

Tbh I think there is different types of shippers and while some of them are completely harmless, some of them can be harmful:

• shippers believers- i find them really harmless. They just are there believing that someone might be with someone and from time to time will create some theory over some MV or a song… this literally means nothing. There are always plenty of theories running around famous people. Either it is Mv, song, album or just something about them. Those Shippers are no different and tbh make 0 harm on any famous people.

•shippers fighters- those can be hurtful, but not to an artist, but to other fans. This kind of shippers are mostly common I think among Kpop community, where shipping is normal thing there. Those shippers will attack you for having different opinion or attack other shippers. And I think those are like 80% hurtful to just other fans, rather than an artist

•shippers editors - those are actually hurtful for an idol/artists. They are the same people who sexualize idols and see them only as sex objects. Is really fucked up and i hate those people the most. ( and they most of the time stereotype/sexualize mlm or wlw relationships, which my gay ass H A T E )

I think people who are shippers receive in my opinion the most unnecessary most of the time amount of hate. Like most of those people are just there, with their accounts and their opinions and suddenly they receive comments like “k|ll yourself” , “die” , “Weirdo”, “___ hates you” or some other hateful comments.

Even if you don’t like some shippers (believe me , ME TOO … ) you NEVER should write anything hateful to them, because remember that at the end of the day behind those accounts there is a real person. And you NEVER know how they will react after seeing all that hate they receive. What if they actually will take their life? What if the person behind it was 15 years old and took their life because of the hate thrown at them for some two strangers none of the fans knew personally? It is not okay. Really not ok.

Shippers piss me off too , especially some of them like f.e Woosan shippers from Ateez . And I don’t lie when I tell you that they are the reason why I never got myself into that group. But did I send them hate? No. Why would i? They annoy me , yes. But I have 0 reason to why I should hate on them, trash them and make them like they would like to d3e.

I hope I worded it the way I wanted. I didn’t wanna sound like their protector and defender. I just think that there is nowadays too much people who hate people for unknown reasons. For example you can have “love Taekook” in your bio and already your hated for being a shipper, even if you never was and never said you are . And people just hated on you for having a ship name written , when the word “ship” is for all kinds of “relationSHIPS” , just most of the time are used to romantic relationships …

ngl, this ask came a bit out of left field, but that's fine haha

i'll be honest with ya, i don't really know too much about kpop and the fandoms within kpop. so i can only say so much on the topic. but i do agree with you for the most part that shipping is probably not on their priority list of things to be concerned about.

but the fans that take the shipping a bit too far or seriously 1000% believe the ships are real when most likely they aren't… those ppl are a bit concerning.

again, can't speak for kpop fandoms, but i know in snc's fandom we have a lot of issues with ppl shipping colby with pretty much any girl he gets near lol and that can be hella frustrating and annoying. especially bc a lot of the fans think that no matter what they're right, even when you tell them there's no way he's dating that girl. it's just all a bit exhausting sometimes.

i personally believe if you wanna ship two ppl that may or may not be together, that's fine; just do it quietly. keep it to yourself lol

#ask #personal

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silva-exspiravit · 2 years

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If you’ve ever seen the movie Only The Brave then you know how they all passed away! And honestly that’s the way I’m willing to die! Doing what I’ve dreamed about for a long time now and that’s fighting Forest fires! If it’s my time and I enjoy engulfed in flames than I’m perfectly okay with that! I don’t have shit to lose. I’m already losing my dad and I’ve already lost the love of my life to a piece of shit guy and to pregnancy so what do I have to lose? Fuckin nothing so I’ll die doing what I love doing! If I’m gonna go out then that’s the way I wanna go out, laying in my fire suit with my face buried in the ground while being overcome by 2200 degree flames! Maybe then she’ll think about why she didn’t come back or why she stayed with him or why she never said goodbye. There will be questions running through her head wishing she could go back. The only downside is she won’t think about any of this until it’s already to late but if that’s what it takes then so be it! She has already let go but eventually she’ll lose the only person who is still alive that would cherish her and never put her through what her current boyfriend puts her through. It’s just sad that it’ll have to take me dying in flames for her to realize any of this. But as of right now i know she looks at her man as a guy that treats her better than I did which is complete bullshit because yeah I was toxic to her and did fucked up things but the shit her current boy not man but boy she’s with has done to her I can’t compare to and would never do have the shit he’s done. No ones perfect in life but there is real hearted people who may fuck up but wouldn’t do it intentionally and always try to fix what they fucked up. I tried for over 5 years to get her back and fix what I did but for some reason she rather stay with the man who hurt her far more than I did and still hasn’t learned his lesson. I learned my lesson and tried to fix my fuck ups but she wouldn’t allow it. Out of two imperfect people she chose the more fucked up one and is having a fuckin kid with him! So the past 6 months I’ve made the decision to stop trying to get her back knowing it won’t happen and I chose to follow my path to death and make a career out of it. She was the only person and living thing that kept me going and breathing because I had to much faith in getting her back but the day I found out she aaa pregnant was the day I tried as hard as I ever tried before to end my life. I’ve tried it plenty of times before but this one time was different! My worst nightmare came alive, the love of my life got pregnant from the worlds biggest piece of shit! I did things I haven’t done in years to try and end it! I stepped my drinking game up and tired drinking a half gallon of vodka and did drugs I haven’t done in a very very long time and all it did was fuck me up and put me in the hospital but never killed me so my next choice was become a wildland firefighter and do what I love doing and hope life either works out and I make something out of this career or I just let the fire consume me and I pass away! I’m still leaning towards the Fire consuming me over making a life out of it but either way hopefully it works out. God won’t let me die by my hands so this is the second best thing to do. I’m not her soul mate and she made that clear to me, she already lost her soul mate in a motorcycle accident and I see how she acts and the things she says about him and it eats at my heart more than her being with a piece of shit. To me it feels like I was just a waste of time to her, just another failed shitty relationship. I thought I was her soul mate but the day she told me I wasn’t her soul mate and she told me who she believes her soulmate is fucking crushed me even more than I already was. She’s literally made me feel like a piece of side trash that she had a relationship with. I was nothing to her and the older I get the more it makes since and why things ended the way they did. I was never her soul mate or the person she actually wanted. I was just another guy who has a relationship with her.

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skinnyducky · 3 years

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good in bed // v.h.

Hey...how y’all doing? I have halfway recovered from my wisdom teeth surgery and I definitely was feeling a bit sad not posting and whatnot. But, here I am now, so I hope you enjoy this one. Pt. 3 to Party at Y/n’s is most likely coming Monday. And, Pt. 2 to Maneater is coming Wednesday (hopefully). Any who, hope you enjoy! Also, this is very much inspired by Dula Peep’s “Good in Bed.”

Word Count: 1336, edited

WARNING: mentions of sex, arguing, angst, language, and i think that’s it.

---------

The start of yours and Vinnie’s relationship was like ice cream on hot summer day. It was sweet, it was refreshing, and it was much needed. After being cheated on by your ex, you needed to find something to bring the love back…and that’s exactly what Vinnie did. The two of you had met after accidentally buying the same car. You bickered and fought over the vintage vehicle before he ultimately decided to let you keep it…but only if you gave him your number. You happily did so and long story short, that led to a beautiful relationship…or at least what was a beautiful relationship.

As the relationship went on, you found that the so-called “honeymoon phase” was really just a phase. For you and Vinnie, it lasted for a least a good two weeks. What started as late night conversations before bed shifted into heated debates and hate-filled goodnights. The butterflies that fluttered around had died, and now your stomach was overflowed with enraged hornets. You didn’t know what was the cause of your downfall, and you weren’t even sure that there was anything that could fix it.

Well…you knew one thing that definitely fixed it: sex. The term “angry sex” seemed like a myth. You thought people were just overhyping it…until you were actually living it. You remember the first time it happened; you were pissed that he didn’t show up to dinner with your parents, while he was pissed because you hadn’t stopped yelling at him for a good hour. The two of you argued for hours, and as an attempt to get you to stop, Vinnie grabbed you by your waist and tossed you onto his bed. It was silent, the only sound being the heavy breathing from both of you. Next thing you know, the two of you are going at it.

Ever since then, that’s all you two did: fight and screw, then pretend like nothing ever happened. As nice as the sex was, it just was too toxic for you. You didn’t want to be stuck in an endless cycle and having to resort to sex to solve your problems. And also, you wanted Vinnie to know you for more than just your body. With that being said, you figured the solution to that was to communicate. Something you two did none of.

So, here you were in Vinnie’s room, sitting on his bed and waiting for him to finish streaming. While scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, you tried to figure out what the hell you were going to say. You didn’t know how to talk about your feelings, it was completely foreign to you. Ugh, this was going to be difficult.

“…I love you guys, bye chat.”

Vinnie stopped streaming and turned around in his seat to face you. You pursed his lips and started fiddling with his thumbs. “So, what did you wanna talk about?”

“I think you know.” You said, not meeting his eyes.

“Is this the talk? You’re breaking up with me aren’t you?”

You shook your head, laughing to yourself at the boy’s stupidity. “No, Vinnie…I’m not breaking up with you.”

“Then why does it feel like you are?”

“I promise, I’m not. I just wanna try to communicate, y’know. Like other couples do.”

He shrugged. “Don’t we already do that?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily call our exploration of each other’s bodies ‘communicating.’ Besides, you and I both know that our relationship isn’t the same as before. It’s like we’ve grown cold towards each other or something.”

“Is this because I forgot our anniversary?” He asked, leaning back in his chair.

You gave him a puzzled look for a minute, trying to figure out when your anniversary actually was. Had you forgot too? Damn, this relationship really was trash.

“Uhm, no…this isn’t about that. Although, we really need to mark our anniversary on our calendars.”

“Then what’s this about, Y/n?”

You sighed and stood up from your spot on his bed. You paced in front of him, trying to figure out the right words to say. “Vinnie…I’m tired. I’m tired of always arguing and then having angry sex…which is amazing, by the way.”

He squinted his eyes at you as he thought about what you said. “So…are you mad about the arguing or the sex?”

“Oh my god, why is this so hard?” you groaned. “I’m mad about all of it, Vin. I’m mad that we just can’t talk to each other. I’m mad that when we do have time together, we spend it arguing. I’m mad that the only way for us to enjoy each other’s company is to have sex. I’m just tired of it all.”

“Then, let’s just end the relationship.”

You stopped your pacing and stared at him with wide eyes. “I just told you I didn’t wanna break up.”

Vinnie chuckled, “I know that Y/n, but if you’re really feeling that way…then just leave.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now. You actually want to just break up? Aren’t you going to at least talk to me about what you’re feeling? Aren’t you gonna fight for us?”

“You wanna know what I’m feeling, Y/n?” Vinnie asked. You nodded, egging him to continue. “I’m feeling…very hungry right now. I want a fat burger and a fat fry with a fat shake to go along with it. That’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. And if the relationship is already going to hell…why fight for it? I say let it die.”

He then proceeded to hop out of his seat and dance around his room, chanting “let it die, let it die…let it shrivel up and die” while clapping.

You just stood there with nothing to say. You couldn’t believe that he was taking this all as a joke. You just poured your entire heart to him, trying to fix your relationship, and he’s sitting here quoting The Lorax and acting like a child. At this point, you were sure that there was no hope for the two of you and you were fine with that. You weren’t going to be driven mad by this anymore.

“You’re a fucking joke.” You growled, picking up your keys off his bed. “Y’know, I wish we hadn’t met each other because I’d be way better off if I didn’t even know you.”

“That’s not saying a lot, babe. You’d probably still be with the same dickhead who cheated on you.”

You scoffed, feeling the hornets in your stomach get their stingers ready. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m saying I made your life better. You wouldn’t be who you are today if it wasn’t for me.”

“You’re one to talk. You’d be stuck in here, playing video games and withering away if I hadn’t come along.”

Vinnie huffed, holding back a laugh. “At least I don’t have to deal with video games nagging at me all the time.”

“Jerk!” you yelled, rushing to his door. You stood in the doorway, turning around to look back at him. “I never want to see you again, you hear me? NEVER again, Vincent. You’re dead to me.”

Slamming the door behind you, you made your way down the hallway of the Hype House. But before you could go any further, something stopped you. A feeling of sadness washed over you and your anger subsided. The hornets that once threatened to pour out of you had now calmed down. At that moment, you felt your body tremble as sin known as lust flowed through your veins. You swallowed hard, trying to keep yourself from rushing back into Vinnie’s room and pouncing on him…but there was nothing you could do to stop yourself.

“Screw it,” you whispered.

You turned around and darted towards Vinnie’s room. Bursting through the door, you tackled him onto the bed and well…you know the rest. You knew going through this all over again was bad, that it was causing more damage to your relationship. It was definitely sad…but that’s what made you good in bed.

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie x reader #vinnie hacker imagine

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freecornland · 2 years

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to dearest fucking cbse;

TW: anxiety, self harm, mental health issues today’s the 12th of march. so far, i’ve covered only 25% of the entire 11th and 12th syllabi. and i’ve been informed that i. the term 1 results are out (and i have the impending disaster in one day to be precise. ii. i have practical exams next week (for which, my absolute garbage whore of a school has taught us NOTHING, not one fucking lab experiment, hell i don’t even know what a lab is supposed to look like) along with some trash presentations. and record submissions. iii. pre-fucking-boards from some 25th whatever. (and i haven’t done anything. genuinely. i don’t know what the fuck differential equations are nor do i know how to calculate the scalar product and matrix bullshit. nothing i know. not even how i’m surviving this terrible fucking academic year.) iv. there’s JEE. (don’t even ask me. i’d rather jump off the everest than give that exam) v. then the fucking boards. three boards in may. vi. JEE again. (cbse should set itself on fire and die) vii. boards continued. viii. 200 entrance exams. deadlines to submit essays. shitton of unis to apply because my parents ask me to get into a govt. institute and then proceed to force me to apply to every single fucked up private uni including the drugged ones. ix. depression, anxiety, attention issues, trauma from childhood and family, constant fights and sicknesses at home. and sleep deprivation on a constant basis. holding back the urge to hurt myself for relief and love and affection. holding back from fucking unaliving. x. fucking school forcing people to come only to curse at them instead of teaching. and they haven’t even finished any term 2 syllabus for us.

i mean, i’m obviously doing fucking great cbse. really.

everytime i try to study i end up crying because i’m someone that genuinely adores all the subjects i’ve picked to study and i’ve been a once brilliant student and i got a 96% in 10th (although it had its fair share of crying every single fucking day of the second half of the academic year) and this godforsaken, fucking damned, absolutely unaesthetic and senseless piece of horse garbage crap of an ncert textbook STABS through my brain and i end up having a system breakdown. and right now? i’m not even crying. my emotions have fucking died. just dead. i don’t know what i’m feeling, i don’t know if i’m okay, i don’t know what i’m going to do at the practicals with the “external” invigilator. i don’t know how i’ll cope up. or if i even can. the exams are not even objective to fuck around with. you write or you die.

i've had dreams cbse. i hoped, even if i didn’t get to participate in things or learn cool as fuck skills, or be valedictorian, i hoped my subjects, my passions would stay with me. that’s all i’ve got. that’s all i’ve fucking had my whole unstable as hell life. and now everytime i try, everytime i make an effort, you know what happens? i fucking gatecrash facefront into a wall and bleed in pain. it hurts so fucking much when you have to deal with so much damned crap everyday. and i’m not even like, a bad student, or a poor person. i’m fucking privileged. i have all the resources yadda yadda bullshit, and my parents can afford a lot of things (except therapy because “wtf is that, you don’t need therapy, you just need to move on, meditate, cOnTrOL yOuR emOtiONs”) and i’m just generally very fucking privileged and i study on a laptop or whatever fuckshit it is.

and rn, i just wanna give up. i have given up already, i have done nothing. i fucking haven’t been able to. i dont, i don’t see a point anymore. like how absolutely fucked up is the indian education system at this point that me (and my partner whose in 10th) talk about unaliving ourselves every single fucking day? over what, fucking exams? a fucking /500 score? i’m so so tired, everyday is a fight to not end my life. and like none of this isn’t enough, there are results, there’s entrances, there’s self induced anger and rage for not being enough and being “lazy” when it’s fucking academic burnout.

i mean, do you realise, you’ve completely ruined almost every gifted kid in this country? you’ve ruined them with your ass-sucking unaesthetic textbooks that make everything ten times more complicated than it already is, with your absolute fuckturd exam patterns, with the useless topics being included and the needed ones being deleted but still applicable to jee, for the garbage pro india agenda you do in every single chapter and textbook, for the fucking ATTENDANCE percentage like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR SHIT EATING ASS WHY. THE. FUCK. IS. ATTENDANCE. AN. ACADEMIC. CRITERION, for conditioning students upto 8th grade to not step a line ever and then suddenly giving them the fake freedom of being the country’s “golden youth”.

and don’t even get me started on the absolute glorification of abuse and toxicity in your literature, and all the goddamned fuckless untrue “facts” about our government garbage we’re forced to mug up for marks. and all the transphobia and homophobia and the fucking sexist and abusive jackshit curriculum.

i don’t fucking know dude. i can’t do this anymore. i’ve given up, i hope for death everyday. i keep wanting the apocalypse faster. oh crap, we’ve had that already haven’t we? and that just gave you more opportunity to fuck with our lives further. i can’t. i’m so tired. i’m so fucking tired. do you realise how many students want to end themselves over cbse right fucking now? i don’t have hopes anymore. if i make it, i make it. if i don’t. i don’t. cbse is responsible if something happened. i’m so sick of this.

but i’ll probably make it because i’m one stubborn fucking motherfucker.

whatever cbse. i hope you rot in hell. i’m exhausted of your bullshit. i’ll see you there and kick you further down into the deepest darkest pits of hell. crap, they’re gonna make a fresh one for you and make you go through the same torture but multiplied a million times. i hate you cbse. i hate you. i hate the goddamn education system and the literal shit of the goverment funded corruption that runs this system.

fuck you cbse.

sincerely

a very very very very tired 12th grader.

#fuck cbse #said it once saying it again #cbse stands for #cuntbasket board of seriously fucking up education #you had one job cbse #one fucking job #and you did miserable #you failed worse than i prly am going to #i hope every single person that likes this board and is associated with it have their hearts drilled and their asses gutted #sorry but not fucking sorry #im exhausted man #indian academia #and all that

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yoonpobs · 3 years

Text

bad boy good thing x.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 8, 711

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a/n:

so here is the mini monster chap !! i know I said this was going to be a drabble series but I clearly got carried away LOL

anyways, no spoilers for this chap but I can say it's one of my favs that I've written and I think we see oc getting the comfort that she deserves (and needs!)

and also !! this is my first time updating a series on tumblr and it feels *exciting* hehe, I hope you enjoy this chapter c:

let me know your thoughts in my asks!! i'd love to hear what you think so far :3

all the love and I hope you're having a great

day/night/evening/afternoon wherever you are ❤️

“Open up!”

The only person that would opt to yell to get your attention than ring on your doorbell like a normal person would be Yena. And it helped that you immediately recognised her voice from the first syllable she uttered. That and you were currently moping in your living room with lactose-free ice cream, courtesy of Jimin that dropped it off a day ago when he heard that you were ‘sick’. Even if you hadn’t seen him face-to-face, you remember him softly hoping you’d get better.

You don’t know why she’s at your door, but you’re already on your feet to get her when you hear her begin to mutter curses directed at you behind the thin wood of your entrance.

“I can hear you!” You call.

“Well bitch then open the damn door!” She snaps.

You roll your eyes, and so far with the number of times you’ve hung out with her, it’s safe to say that the two of you were comfortable. You never knew how fun having a girl best friend was until you met Yena, and sure it’s only been a little under two weeks since you’ve gotten to know her through various messages and FaceTimes, but you feel like she’s your friend soulmate.

And when you expressed that to her over a FaceTime call a few nights back, you remember her gagging all while you flush and attempt to take it back. You know her candidly calling you bitch rather than your name was her saying she felt the same.

You pull the door open as she stands there with her eyes narrowed into slits, eyeing you up and down before she scrunches her nose.

“There’s a thing called a shower that you should look into. You look like a rundown version of long-haired Noah Beck.” She grimaces when she eyes you up and down.

You scowl. “You did not just compare me to him.”

She clicks her tongue before she shoves you aside by shoving a plastic bag of the takeout food into your arms and steps into your apartment.

Yena ignores the glare you shoot at the back of her neck when she looks around your living room, scrunching her nose like she was here to inspect your room than pay you a visit.

“Did someone die in here or was that just your will to live?”

You scoff. “Wow. Drag me.”

She waves you off before plopping onto your couch while you sigh, immediately heading to the kitchen to prep the food she brought over.

“For a moment I thought you were dead.” She confesses casually.

When you return with bowls and plates, with the cutlery to match—you give her a dry look before you’re taking your seat on the floor; attempting to hide your half-eaten tub of ice cream, which Yena immediately spots.

“So your first instinct was to yell at my door in hopes that I wasn’t actually dead?” You ask dryly.

She picks up your ice cream and grimaces at it, silently judging you for the flavour before she gives you a shrug.

“Yeah. I was hoping that your spirit would confer.”

You snort. “And the food?”

“A peace offering.” She tells you like it’s obvious.

You sigh, you loved Yena—you really did. She was all over the place and random, but it was a refreshing difference that you needed in your life from the usual law and order you often opted for.

“Not that I don’t appreciate your concern,” You tell her, pulling out a container to see your favourite lemon chicken as you eye her suspiciously. “But what brings you here? I told you I was sick.”

Yena scoffs. “And sick you are, bitch. What kind of sick person devours ice cream? Sure, you look the part but your diet says otherwise. Don’t think I didn’t see the empty packet of snickers in the trash.”

You scowl.

“I recovered yesterday.” You lie, taking a bite out of the chicken.

Yena rolls her eyes and you know she doesn’t believe you. She leans into your couch while she watches you eat, “Namjoon texted me that you may need some company.” At that, you choke.

Her eyes widen as you hit at your chest to get the food to go down, eyes still wide at her revelation.

“Why would he do that?” You cry.

“Girl, I know you’re not trying to deflect—you’re literally about to choke and die.”

You glare at her. “I’m fine.” You cough for good measure, then you’re levelling another serious gaze at her.

“I’m fine.” You reiterate with an emphasis on your state even though you were anything but. “I don’t know why the hell he thinks I need company.” You mutter under your breath.

At this, Yena’s face softens as she leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees while you avoid her gaze; idly poking at your food.

“I don’t know either, and you don’t need to tell me anything.” She says softly. “That’s all I’m here for. To be your company, whether you need it or not.”

You don’t know how much Namjoon told her over a text message, but you don’t think it’s much. Purely because he didn’t seem like a snitch and he was too respectful to ever let other people into the business that wasn’t his own. Even at the thought, you want to groan because you essentially lured him into thinking it was okay for him to kiss you while you were … you don’t even know what the fuck was happening anymore.

“I—” You say weakly, and all Yena does is offer you a comforting smile.

For some reason, the fact that she’s here right in front of you after you spent the day crying and feeling like your heart has been repeatedly stomped over with the addition of your rumination—it feels nice to have someone with you, even if it’s just their presence.

But the way she doesn’t look at you and expects something out of your conversation makes you feel even more overwhelmed, and that’s probably why the dam breaks.

Yena’s eyes widen as she immediately darts out to wrap her arms around you when you end up in violent sobs. You don’t know why you’re crying but you are, and you’re tired of hiding things, your feelings and your intent just to pretend like things were okay.

“It’s okay.” She strokes your hair and it feels warm, like a mother comforting a crying baby and you realise that this is what friends should feel like.

“N-no it’s n-not!” You cry into her shirt and it’s messy, but she doesn’t seem like she minds. Especially when she supports your pliable frame.

“You wanna talk about it?” She asks softly, giving you a kind smile.

You sniffle, staring forward as you feel your eyes swell with the escalation of your tears.

“I don’t know.” You whisper.

She hums, “It’s okay not to know. You don’t need to know everything.”

“I’m just so tired, Yena.” You tell her in a hushed breath.

“Life is difficult.” She admits. “It’s natural to be tired.”

You’re thankful to hear that she doesn’t comfort you with blind optimism. She’s real and she acknowledges how shitty things may be, and frankly, you didn’t need another wannabe altruist telling you that things will get better. You knew that, everyone did. But when you’re at rock bottom and all you see is darkness, you’re not looking for better. You’re looking for a reason to continue.

“Can I say something?” She asks. The way she looks at you is soft and open, and non-judgemental. You feel safe.

You nod your head, teary eyes staring up at her.

“You’re not responsible for anyone’s feelings except your own.” She looks at you so seriously that you nearly feel your breath escape. “There are things that you can and cannot control—and the latter usually falls under the people around you.”

You suck in a breath, and you wonder how she’s so spot on without ever touching on the true context.

“Namjoon texted me but I didn’t come here because he asked me to. It’s because you deserve to have someone be around you when you’re clearly not okay.”

“I’m—”

“You’re not.” She blinks, and you almost pout at her firm tone. “And that’s okay. I don’t need to know what happened to justify how you feel. You could’ve stubbed your toe and feel like absolute shit and I have absolutely no right to judge you on how or when you feel emotions.”

You wonder where she’s been your entire life and why she was only in your life now.

“But the thing is,” She sighs. “You don’t always have to choose between something or the other. Sometimes you need to choose yourself.”

You stare up at her in awe because Yena was cool in general, her laidback and unbending personality was mainly what drew you to her because you’d argue you were the opposite. Even if Jungkook’s words stung, you could take it at face value and accept that it was true.

You were uptight and you were a bit of a prude, and for the longest time, you always resented that aspect of you. But you realised with Yena, she had traits that were resented in a woman as well. And you realise that you’d never be perceived the way you want unless you perceive yourself in a positive light first.

So when she speaks to you so sternly, yet with a tone of care as she picks apart her words so carefully—you realise what you have to do.

“I think I like Jungkook.”

Yena pauses for a brief second, but you don’t see any judgement in her face. Just confusion, a warranted emotion you don’t blame her for having.

“I figured as much.”

Your eyes widened, “How—?”

It’s almost like a repeat of the first night at the football game when you befriended each other, but she only shoots you a gentle smile.

“Call it a woman’s intuition.”

You blink, fiddling with your fingers before you stare up at her, continuing your drawls.

“And we kissed.”

At this, Yena cocks an eyebrow up, “Was this recent?”

You fiddle with your thumbs before you sigh and push yourself up.

“Thing is …” You mumble, “I’m not like that.”

You don’t answer her question because you can’t think of a proper enough response to tell her that yeah—you did kiss him, amongst other things that you foolishly allowed yourself to indulge in. You knew Yena wasn’t judgemental but you also knew that you couldn’t retrieve your words the moment they left your mouth. It was your own judgement that stopped you from saying the things you really wanted and it sucked, royally. Because you could tell that Yena wasn’t out here to crucify you for being … liberated. She just wanted to be there for you.

Yena scrunches her eyebrows in confusion as she allows your words to settle, pondering a response.

She settles for a huff, “Care to elaborate?”

“I don’t … do things like that.” You say softly. “I’m shy and quiet. I’m not active in the social sphere and I only have three friends that I can reach out to if I wanna hang out. But even then, I don’t … I don’t like partying, or drinking, or loud spaces. I’m awkward and horrible at social interaction let alone being able to navigate my romantic feelings. And … I felt so bad about it.”

Yena’s eyes soften, but you can’t look at her just yet. Not when this is the first time you’ve ever laid yourself vulnerable, emotionally that is, to someone that wasn’t just the confines of your thoughts.

“I always wondered what it’d like to be confident, to be liked on campus and not just be known as the smart girl.” You whisper. “My entire personality was built around my achievements and I didn’t know what else to do. What if … what if I peak here and fail after?” Your eyes are wide in despair, and you feel your lips quiver when you speak.

“You’ll never know.” Yena reminds you gently. “You won’t know who likes you or what people say about you—but you’re going to be hearing your own thoughts 24/7 and that’s what kicks you down or drives you further.”

You sigh, nodding your head.

“It’s just … Jungkook and I were close. We grew up together even if he’s younger than me. But we just got along well and he … he saw me. He used to comfort me whenever I’d tell him how pressuring it got and—I feel so stupid because he probably says that to everyone and I fell for it.” You chuckle with no emotion, staring at the stray thread poking outside of your couch pillow.

“Have you spoken to him about your feelings?” She asks softly.

Immediately, you scoff and the sour emotion peaks through again.

“He’s made it clear what he wants to hear from me.” You mutter.

Yena purses her lips before resting her hands gently on your shoulder.

“You’re not answering my question, ______.” She chides gently.

You nibble on your bottom lip and shake your head. That earns a sigh from her as she wraps her arms around you once again, resting her chin on your shoulder as you allow yourself to feel the comfort of her warmth.

“He kissed me first and we did things together.” Your lips quiver when you recall the memories, “A-And he’s with Jennie. I just …” You flutter your eyes shut, “I don’t want to say that I’m the other girl but I feel a lot like a second option and it sucks.”

Yena doesn’t ask, and she doesn’t need to. She doesn’t need to justify why you felt the way you did, so she holds you tighter.

“Babe.” She gently turns you to look at her with both hands resting on your shoulders. “Did you talk to him? Properly? Do you really know if he’s with her?”

“I think them kissing proves enough to me.” You snap, and you don’t know why you’re being so hostile, especially to Yena.

She purses her lips, “You kissed him and you aren’t together.”

You wince and she shoots you an apologetic look. She sighs before reaching out to squeeze your hand, all while you stare at the ground to level out your emotions.

“I’m not saying that you can’t feel the way you do. But I’m offering objectivity here. Men are … they’re blunt creatures and that’s the biggest difference between men and women.” You furrow your eyebrows as she takes a deep breath before she continues. “And the idea that we’re equal? No, we’re not. I’m not talking about our systemic positions in society but on an emotional level. Men take things surface value and work with it, they don’t stop to think about the layers of feelings that go into interpersonal relationships with friends, family or lovers. Women? We go big or we go home. All we see is the big picture and sometimes the little details get lost in translation. This isn’t me justifying Jungkook playing home with you or Jennie at the same time, but offering you a perspective that may be hard for you to see because you aren’t him.”

It was true, and you hated yourself for being aware but not putting action based on your own thoughts. Yena only reaffirmed the idea that you overthought every single interaction and maybe that was why you were the one that was hurting.

That, or you and Jungkook had horrible communication problems that neither of you was ready to face just yet. But how could you? When the two of you were on two different wavelengths and you were trying to be just enough for him while he was jumping off pedestals to see you.

It didn’t feel nice, and it sucked because he was the same person that comforted you and broke you all at once.

“I’m scared.” You whisper.

She smiles at you gently, patting your head gently as you peer up at her with tears between your lashes.

“And that’s okay.” She reassures you with a soft voice, “The only thing scarier than being scared is not feeling at all.”

Before you go to where your heart tells you to—your mind is the only thing that keeps you rooted in some form of rationale. That’s probably why you’re outside of Namjoon’s dorm. You don’t think you’ve ever paid his place a visit despite him telling you his address on multiple occasions, usually opting to hang out in public yet serene places where you were able to get a breather.

Your feet feel heavy and your fist is raised, but it barely moves. Especially when you’re just eyeing his door like a deer caught in headlights. You’ve rehearsed the apology on your tongue a million times, even if you don’t really know what you’re apologising for. But you feel like you must, particularly because you’ve senselessly let him see all of the feelings that you were trying to suppress in hopes of retaining the same ones he had for you.

You take a deep breath and deliver the first knock, the vibrations making your arm feel weak.

But you’re tired of always surrendering to bigger and more frightening things that you could understand. So you purse your lips and play the waiting game.

It seems like a long twenty minutes that you wait, but in reality, it’s only two when the door swings open. You brace yourself to see Namjoon, apology already sitting on your tongue.

You should’ve dropped a text, you knew that. But you decided against it because you haven’t spoken to Namjoon since what happened a few days ago. Neither of you speaking about the kiss or the way your eyes glistened when you saw Jungkook and Jennie together.

“____?” He asks confusedly.

You give him a meek smile, “Hi. Can I come in?”

He blinks at you, and you notice he still has his glasses that he usually forgoes during the times you’ve hung out—and you feel a little guilty for catching him at a bad time.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Sure.”

Namjoon steps aside and you’re welcomed into the space of his living room. The first thing you notice is the interior, and how … Namjoon it was. It’s both cluttered and neat, the palette of his furniture matching the overall vibe he emanated. His furniture is mostly wood, light sandalwood that makes it feel all the homier.

And you tell him such, “You have a very homey place.”

Namjoon turns his head to look at you right before he plops himself back onto his couch where you see the bits and pieces of paper scrambled across the floor and the couch. Even then, he was able to look so welcoming even though you reckon he has a right to be hostile—for a reason you came here to apologise for.

“Thank you.” He flushes, patting a spot in front of him for you to take your seat.

When you settle, the atmosphere turns strained when you mull over your words so that you wouldn’t stumble over them. You practised, you did—about a hundred times before you came here and you thought you were ready to apologise and put things behind you but it’s proven difficult when all he does is look at you in earnest.

“Not that I—uh—mind,” He mumbles, “But is there a reason why you’re here?”

You blink at him as you ignore the quiver in your heart.

“I’m sorry.” You blurt.

“_____ why are you—”

“You didn’t deserve what happened the other day.” You interject, voice soft but unwavering when you force yourself to look at him as his eyes widen.

“I wasn’t the one that saw something I shouldn’t have.” He reminds you with a frown.

You swallow, “I kissed you. And you …” It wasn’t helping that he was looking at you so gently as he awaits your continuation. “You didn’t need to save me back then, Namjoon.” You end in a whisper.

Namjoon reaches out to grab your shoulder, touch gentle as he searches for your eyes.

“I didn’t save you …” He tells you tenderly.

“It’s not just that!” You exasperate while you throw your hands up in the air. “I-it’s everything … from the way you treat me and the way you look at me. You didn’t need to do any of that and you even—” You trail off, fluttering your eyes shut. “—what did you say to Jungkook right before we left?”

Namjoon’s eyes enlarge as his grip becomes tense against your shoulder. You can almost see the way his mind kicks into gear as he thinks of a response.

“That—I—does it matter?” He huffs.

Your eyes soften, “Namjoon.” You force yourself to look at him even if now he was the one that tries to avoid your gaze. “What did you say?”

Namjoon tightens his lips before he sighs deeply, head dropping forward before he looks at you.

“I told him to be honest.” He says softly.

You furrow your eyebrows, “To be honest …?”

“I know you have feelings for him.”

Your face blanches when Namjoon basically exposes you. It’s one thing for you to be self-aware of your complicated feelings towards the other boy. But when someone else points it out, especially when it’s Namjoon—the boy who’s been nothing but kind and patient with you while you’re too busy being caught up in your emotions—it’s like a slap across your face.

“I-I don’t—”

“You don’t need to lie to save my face, ______.” He chuckles dryly, eyes darting away as he tries to neutralise his expression. You wince at the spite he establishes, but you know deep down that Namjoon isn’t angry at you. No, he was far too understanding to be. Disappointed? Frustrated? Sure, but never angry,

The silence answers for you when you look away this time, eyebrows scrunched as you attempt to navigate the conversation. You came here to apologise, and to be honest.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“Don’t.” He takes a deep breath as you flinch. “Don’t … apologise.” He sighs.

“I didn’t mean to lead you on, Namjoon.” You murmur apologetically.

He shoots you a half-hearted chuckle, “You didn’t do anything. Really.”

“But I did, Namjoon. I kissed you back.” You frown.

“That doesn’t imply anything. I kissed you, and you reciprocated. We all kiss someone and not mean anything by it.”

You flinch, and you’re familiar with that more than anyone else. The reminder only stings because it makes you realise that you were not much different from Jungkook, the same person you’ve claimed to have messed with you and fucked you over.

“I’m—”

“Please don’t apologise anymore.” He says. “I already feel like shit.”

You smile sadly at him, “How do you manage to be so nice even when other’s do you wrong?”

Namjoon sighs, then he grabs both your hands in his. “You didn’t wrong me, _____. It’s not your fault you don’t feel the same way I do.”

“How did you …” You trail off.

“How did I know you had feelings for Jungkook?” He chuckles. “The same way he knew I had feelings for you.”

You purse your lips, eyes dropping to your lap. “It’s not that simple, Namjoon …” You say softly.

Namjoon smiles at you gently, “Is it?” He gently nudges your knee with his so that you’d look at him. “Life is simple. It’s not easy. But it’s simple.”

You scoff even if a small smile teases your lips, “You really are a philosophy major, aren’t you?”

The two of you grin in tandem before he purses his lips, possible mulling over something before he faces you.

“The two of you are close so … why beat around the bush?”

Your eyes flutter shut, shaking your head. “Like I said, it’s really not that simple.”

He rolls his eyes at you, but it’s not to mock or taunt you. Namjoon simply sees a naive, yet an intelligent girl who doesn’t see what’s right in front of her.

“Remember what I said? I’m a simple guy.” He reminds you, lips in a grin. “Try me.”

You snort, but you’re still nervous. You still remember that he has feelings for you, so you’re hesitant. And he immediately recognises the guilt-ridden expression that you mar.

Namjoon shoots you a stern glare, “Don’t overthink it.”

You sigh.

“Jungkook and I …” You start, fiddling with your thumbs. “We grew up together.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes and shoots you another one of his bland stares. “I know the history. I just want to know why?”

You furrow your brows, “Why?”

“Why the two of you insist on being so emotionally constipated.”

You gape at his audacity, and you’re glad the atmosphere isn’t as tense because Namjoon simply snickers at your reaction.

“I am not—!”

He waves you off, “Really?” He adds dryly.

You purse your lips and relent, even if you didn’t want to agree with him—you knew that he was … right. To a certain extent.

“We kissed.” You blurt.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, “That’s not surprising.”

You shoot him a dry look before he raises his hands in defence.

“He was my first kiss.”

At this, Namjoon’s widen.

“When you were in high school?” He pries.

You flush, embarrassed that you had to tell him otherwise.

“Two months ago.” You mutter.

Namjoon splutters, and you can’t help but glare at him when he quite literally chokes on his spit. You know you caught him off guard, but him rubbing salt in the wound that’s relatively fresh makes you scowl.

“Oh.” He clears his throat. Then he repeats, “Oh.”

You scoff, “Yeah. Oh.”

“Then … what happened?” You know he’s treading carefully with you when he asks you his question softly.

You purse your lips, and you recall every single moment you’ve shared with him. From giggles to hushed kisses, to intimate touches and sweat-stained sheets that have you gasping for air. You remember it all, and they meant … they meant the world to you, but just a speck in his memory.

“Things escalated and we … did stuff together.” You wince.

Namjoon nods in understanding, he gestures his hands around, “Like—”

“I’m a virgin.”

Namjoon blinks.

“And for the longest time, I felt embarrassed about it.”

“Oh.”

“I struggled to find my footing between being sexually liberated and being a woman because for the longest time I thought those two were mutually exclusive. For me, at least.” You say softly.

Namjoon only stares at you.

“And I always wanted validation from someone else to tell me that what I was doing was the right thing to do. Or the supposed thing to do. Never what I really wanted to do.”

“Not that I’m uncomfortable but … why are you letting me in on this?” Namjoon asks with a raised brow.

“Because I want to do something for myself for once.” You whisper.

“Okay …?”

“Why do you like me? Even if I’m … boring and not as sexy as other women?”

You sound pathetic, and the first person you find yourself comparing yourself to is Jennie—a beautiful, confident woman who looked so assured in herself.

“You’re not—”

You groan.

“Namjoon.”

“Okay.” He sighs. “If you’re asking me if I care that you’re a virgin, then no. I really don’t. Because frankly, that concept to me is false and problematic. Whether or not you’ve had sex or not isn’t any of my business.”

You duck your head.

“And I like you because you’re interesting. You’re funny and you’re assured in your own way. You don’t need to be a certain standard of pretty or sexy or whatever for me to like you. I like you because of the time we’ve spent together and that I’ve gotten to know you. The real you and not the person I admired from afar but the girl who throws in jokes out of nowhere but fits so well with the situation. The girl who’s willing to spend three extra hours of her time to help with content that wasn’t prescribed to her. I like you because I’d like to think I’ve grown to understand who you are.”

Namjoon says all of those things while staring at you straight in the face and you feel compelled to cry. Because no one has ever been so honest with you and you hate that your heart can’t reciprocate what should be an easy feeling that comes naturally.

“Fuck.”

His eyes widen.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He coos, a hand petting your hair gently as you sniffle.

“It’s not, Namjoon. Everything sucks because everything is so complicated. Why can’t I just have feelings for you instead?”

It’s selfish, and Namjoon winces. But you’re so overwhelmed that you miss it, and Namjoon is too nice to point his own feelings out.

“You don’t pick and choose your battles, _____.” He murmurs softly.

“That’s not what my mom told me.” You whimper.

He chuckles, “Yeah. Most people like to believe that because it makes them think that they have a choice over the bad things that happen in their lives. But in reality? They don’t. No one decides what happens to them. You pick and choose how you react to things. How you deal with situations and what you make out of those situations is what you can choose to do. You don’t like me, and that’s fine. You don’t have to just because I’m nice to you, _____. Being nice is the absolute bare minimum and something that everyone should feel and do.”

Your face crumbles, “Why are you so wise?”

Namjoon smiles, “I’m not. It’s called offering a different perspective. Just because I see things one way doesn’t make me any better than you who sees things in another. That’s why we meet different types of people throughout our lives. The good, the bad, the in-between. There’s always something people offer to us in the midst of chaos.”

You sigh.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon.”

He pats your head, “I said don’t apologise.”

“No, but I want to. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and you picked up a shitty situation to be in when Jungkook and Jennie were at the library. Even right after I kissed you. That was … a horrible thing to do. I shouldn’t have done that just because—just because I was confused … you don’t deserve that.”

He doesn’t look angry, and that’s even worst because you want him to react, to call you a bitch and say that you were a horrible person.

“I don’t.” He shrugs while you wince. “But a lot of the times we don’t deserve a lot of things that we get. And that’s okay. You did what you thought was justified then, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. But you’re hurting too, and you’re confused—that’s what drove you to do the things that you did, and even here. That’s why you’re apologising to me, right? Because you’re not as confused anymore?”

You shake your head.

“I am, I’m still so confused.” You whisper.

“Then let me offer you another perspective.”

You look up to him with big eyes as he smiles at you gently.

“You have feelings for Jungkook.” You immediately flinch, even if he didn’t hit you. But Namjoon continues. “You’re trying to keep the picture as simple as you can even if it hurts you in the process. But

“You don’t understand, Namjoon … we … did things … that I’m not proud off …”

“You don’t have to—”

“He was my first kiss. My first … sexual experience. Even if it was just … third base,” You cringe, but Namjoon isn’t judging you at all. “A-and that’s all I was to him. An experience.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Do I, Namjoon?” You say softly. “He said things to me that were so hurtful. And a stupid part of me forgives him but it still hurts every time I think about it and when I see him with Jennie.”

You whisper the words Jungkook’s said to you, and for the first time, you see Namjoon’s jaw harden. The most emotion that wasn’t rationale you’ve seen in Namjoon ever since you first arrived.

“I know it hurts.” He murmurs, holding you close. “And I really don’t want it to seem like I’m justifying his words … but would you want to hear me out?”

You purse your lips and nod nevertheless.

“Jungkook isn’t a bad person.” You blink, you never thought he was. “I know you don’t think he is but you want to. Because of the things he’s said to you because why would a good person say those kinds of things, right? But the world isn’t black and white like that. There’s a grey area where 99% of the population falls into because we operate on emotion and sometimes we say things that we may feel but not necessarily believe in.”

“Jungkook … he’s still young. And I know we’re in college and stuff but he’s still three years younger than I am and two years younger than you. He’s spoken to me about how hard it was to adjust to a high school life where you, Jimin and Tae weren’t a part of. And I don’t know about you but if the only friends I’ve ever known suddenly left because they had to … I wouldn’t know what to do either. He was at a point in his life where his environment played a huge part in the values and internalised beliefs he had.”

You look away as you reflect on his words, nibbling on your bottom lip.

“He mixed around with different groups of people, and I hate this saying but it’s still a common belief to many—especially people his age, almost out of high school. But the ‘boys will be boys’ mentality is more than just misogyny and sexism, but a culture where it feeds off complacency and peer pressure. Jungkook suddenly had to shift from three, good friends who were progressive and influential in an objectively good way to people he was obliged to like because they were his peers.”

You gape at him, purely because you knew that Namjoon was smart and wise but his introspection leaves you breathless and enlightened.

“But that doesn’t change the core of Jungkook,” Namjoon says. “He’s still Jungkook. He doesn’t know how to ask for things that he wants without feeling like he’s betraying his masculinity. And again, I’m not justifying his actions because he’s a grown man too. But he’s lost, and the only thing he knows to uphold this sense of masculinity is by being sexually liberated. Even if he conflates his own emotions with his endeavours.”

“I … I don’t even know what to say Namjoon.” You murmur, eyes looking up through your lashes.

“You don’t need to say anything. I just want you to be honest to yourself, not anyone else. But yourself.” He tells you, carding a gentle hand over your head.

You fiddle with your thumbs.

“What do you want?”

Despite you confiding two different people, you find yourself at a convenience store at 12AM, scarfing down ramen from a cup noodle because your mind was a funny place when it was muddled with a hundred different thoughts. You knew sleep wasn’t an option for you either, and you were hungry. But somehow you didn’t have anything back in your apartment that screamed ‘I’m in a crisis’ enough for you to eat.

Which is why you’re here, while the cashier keeps his eyeball to himself when he sees yet another college student who’s probably having their third mental breakdown of the day.

It is, but not for the right reasons, you think dryly.

You think you’re alone until the chime of the bell momentarily distracts you and you turn your head to acknowledge the next lone customer who may be going through their own set of issues, or had a fucked up sleeping schedule.

But you’re not expecting to make eye contact with Jennie, out of everyone or any stranger you could’ve come across.

She spots you, shoots you a weird look that has you nearly choking on a string of noodles before she moves on to what she came here to do and stops at the snack section, skimming through her options before she settles on a pack of shrimp chips. Your heart churns because they were Jungkook’s favourite. You don’t want to wonder why she picked them.

You turn to your noodles, scarf them down some more because you want to eat your thoughts away even if you’re half-considering to call Jungkook, tell him you wanted to talk. But you knew that if you spoke to him now when you were still sorting out your thoughts, you’d end up in a situation you won’t be ready to deal with.

So when you poke at your food and sigh to yourself, you almost miss the way the stool beside you scrapes against the floor as you cringe.

You turn to shoot a petty glare at the person, and you see Jennie; casually tearing open her chips and popping one into her mouth

You blink at her, and you’re left even more speechless when she juts her hand out as if to offer you a shrimp cracker. Like it was a weird symbol of a truce. Even if you weren’t really … enemies.

“Want some?”

You stare at her, and before you can think twice your lips are moving.

“The crackers or your company?” You say dryly.

Her eyes widen, and so does yours. You didn’t expect to say your exact thoughts and you don’t think she expected a quiet, timid girl like you to have said that—out loud at least. Like Yena said, everyone has a mean bone in them. Some longer and larger than others, but they were still there.

“Wow.” She huffs, but she doesn’t seem offended. “Rude, much?”

You wince and feel compelled to apologise. “Sorry.”

She waves you off and you feel odd to be sitting next to her. You always expected her to be more malicious, a lot more of a bitch. And you frown to yourself because you suppose it’s your own preconceived notions of her due to the association she has with Jungkook that had you thinking of her that way.

“What’s someone like you doing here on a weekday?” She asks off-handedly.

The term ‘someone like you’ doesn’t sit well with you, and you scowl.

“I’m eating. What does it look like?” You retort, and Jennie only raises an eyebrow at your response. Much like an angry kitten.

“Damn, I was just asking.” She mutters under her breath, “I’m hungry. Needed a snack.” She shakes the crackers in front of you, “You sure you don’t want one?”

You can’t believe her as you gape at her easy-going state when she thrusts the bag of crackers into your face yet again.

“No.” You furrow your brows, gently pushing it away as she shrugs her shoulders.

“It’s good.” She reasons, and you don’t know why she’s so adamant about having you take one.

The irrational part of you thinks she wants to poison you, to eliminate you for good so she won’t have to deal with your pathetic pining over a person that wasn’t even yours.

“I know.” You mutter. “I tried it before.”

Jennie nods her head slowly, observing the content of the packet on the back before she turns to face you, “Jungkook introduced this to me. Didn’t see the appeal but it’s addictive.”

You freeze, and your ramen soup is getting cold with the way you haven’t prodded at it for a while and in the air-conditioning in the convenience store. You feel your stomach drop, especially now that your initial suspicions were confirmed.

“That’s nice.” You grit. It really isn’t.

“Did he introduce it to you?” She asks with a tilt of her head.

Why you’re still talking to her, or why she was bothering to talk to you when she’s ignored you all this while—you aren’t sure. But you still answer her despite the spite that forms in your chest.

“I introduced it to him.” You inform.

She hums, unbothered. It only irritates you more.

“Is there a reason?” You huff. “Why you’re here?”

She raises an eyebrow, “I’m hungry?”

You scoff. “No.” You slam the table ever so slightly because even if you were annoyed and confused, you weren’t that brave and you didn’t want to cause a scene at a convenience store at midnight. “Why are you here. Talking to me.”

Jennie blinks at you, then stares at you for seconds too long that you flush under her unwavering stare before she ends up in a fit of giggles. You almost think she’s here to mock you, to call you out on your pathetic and humiliating pining for someone who doesn’t care about you the same way you do to him. But she pats you on the shoulder, and you want to think it’s condescending but it doesn’t seem that way at all.

“You’re an acquaintance. You looked like you needed the company.”

You frown, “I don’t.”

She rolls her eyes, munching on another chip.

“You do. Your posture looks depressing.”

“Excuse me?” You scowl.

“It’s true.” She shrugs. “You don’t seem the type to be here wallowing unless it’s really bad. You seem like you have your shit together.”

And because your mind is already muddled and confused, and filled with irrational thoughts. Her words set you off, and you seem to be underrating or overreacting more than usual. So you snap, you shove your cup aside that the soup nearly sloshes out and send her a glare so blazing that Jennie’s caught off guard.

“And you think you know me well enough to gauge whether or not I’m ‘like this’ or the type to have a perfect mental breakdown regimen because I’m smart?” You seethe. Jennie’s eyes widen. “I have mental breakdowns like every other student and I binge eat when I’m stressed and I fuck up from time to time. I curse, yes! I see your face. Oh does she not curse? Well, look at me, bitch. I can curse like a motherfucking sailor at sea when the fishes come because I’m human. I’m just like you. So fuck off with your ‘you seem like you have your shit together’ because I don’t and I’m so fucking annoyed with your stupid face whenever I see it because it only reminds me of Jungkook!”

The silence is defining, even the cashier stops counting his bills for the night because you don’t hear the rubbing of money together. You feel his stare on your back, and more pressingly, you feel Jennie’s shocked expression linger on your face, and now that you’ve come down from your rage. Your face heats up in embarrassment.

You don’t even recall what you said, except for the fact you’ve mentioned her and Jungkook in the same sentence. And your face pales.

“I …” She chokes.

You flush, before you’re turning away, snatching your belongings to leave and forget this convenience store and never return because you don’t think you can show your face here ever again.

But before you’re able to make a run for it, a hand grabs your elbow that stops you from moving any further.

“This is already as embarrassing—” You exasperate, trying to snatch your arm away.

“For a girl so smart, you’re really dumb, aren’t you?” She deadpans.

You gape, finding enough strength to retrieve your arm as you stare at her with a dumbfounded expression.

“Excuse me—?”

“Firstly, let’s unpack what you just said because there are a lot of things that need to be dissected here.” She says blankly.

You scowl, “Look I don’t—”

“One.” She blinks as if she was doing a presentation for a course and not talking to an alleged acquaintance. “I don’t think you should act a certain way just because you’re smart. You’re entitled to your own mechanisms and I’m not judging you for them. I was simply pointing out my own observations, and I’m sorry for being insensitive.”

You’re stunned to silence, because did Jennie just … apologise to you?

“Two.” She says. You listen silently. “I think you have things you need to talk to Jungkook about, and frankly—I would’ve stayed away if I knew that the two of you were a thing.”

“We’re not a thing!” You cry, face flushed.

She shoots you an unimpressed look, “Really. So that oddly targeted blow-up was because of your mental breakdown and not because you don’t have feelings for Jungkook?”

She’s the third person to call you out the same day, or within the first one in the next. And it’s even more embarrassing because it’s the girl you’ve compared yourself to countless times because of your own insecurities.

“Yes.” You snap childishly.

Jennie sighs, gesturing for you to sit on the stool. You want to defy her out of spite, but you’ve already gotten this far into the conversation and you feel like you’d miss out on something if you left now.

“Why are you mad at me?” She asks.

“I-I’m not mad—” You weakly protest.

“You are. There’s anger in you and if it’s not directed to Jungkook then it’s directed to me. Is it because I’m a woman?”

Your eyes widen, “What—?”

“Let me reword that,” She sighs. “Is it because I’m the woman with Jungkook?”

You flinch at her declaration, especially since she indirectly confessed to being with him, while you weren’t.

“I don’t …” You trail off in a whisper.

“I don’t blame you for being angry.” She says. “But I need you to understand that I would never have done anything with him if I knew that the two of you were together.”

“We’re not.” You blink, and her unimpressed look is still there that makes you speak a little louder. “We’re not together.”

She opens her mouth to say something, then shuts it. You see her furrow her eyebrows before she settles for a response that comes a few moments after.

“Okay, then if you’re not together then why the resentment?” She puts it so simply and now that you’re listening to her, you feel a lot stupider.

“I just …” You croak, fiddling with your fingers, “I don’t …”

She sighs, “Listen. We’re both women here. I know how it feels to be left in the dark when it comes to things like this but there’s no point in being angry at me when in reality it’s Jungkook you need to talk to. If you aren’t together then I don’t understand why you’re angry with me—or with him.”

You sit there in silence, nearly pouting like a scolded child.

“You’re his type.” You say softly.

Jennie pauses before she raises an eyebrow.

“And you believe that?”

You furrow your eyebrows, “I mean, of course?” You mumble, “You’re pretty, confident and sexy. Any guy would like you.”

For a moment, you think you’ve said too much. Looked to vulnerable. But Jennie doesn’t do the typical mean girl thing where she laughs in your face and threatens to expose you. Instead, her eyes soften, and her hand reaches out to hold yours.

“____.” She calls your name gently, and you look away, embarrassed. “You’re pretty. You’re confident. You are sexy.”

You flush, “No. I’m not.”

She scoffs, “_____, there isn’t a set definition of what a pretty woman is like. Nor is there a one-dimensional understanding of a confident woman. There are confident women who strut in their walk and commands all the attention in the room. But there are also quiet, assured women who are intelligent and confident in their capabilities. Both of them are so different, but the one thing that they have in common?” She prompts as your eyebrows furrow. “They’re both women who are worthy of love.”

You blink up at her when her tone goes softer.

“I don’t think I’m Jungkook’s type.” She tells you.

But for some reason you need to deny it, again.

“I think you are.” You mumble, “You’re … you. And you’re probably … experienced.” You cringe at what you say, and you’re mortified if you need to explain yourself to her. But Jennie immediately picks up on it, and you don’t notice how she tenses for a split second but recovers immediately.

“We’ve done things together, yes.” You feel your heart shatter, “But you don’t have to do anything with him for him to like you.”

You sigh, “Maybe. But that's the only way he’s ever wanted me.” You say so softly that Jennie almost doesn’t catch it.

Jennie’s face softens much more, turning into a much gentler expression as she nudges your chin to look at her. And when you do, you feel wounded. You feel so much less assured than you were when you were raging at her. You hated it, how she treated you so kindly when she should’ve been cursing at you like you did to her.

“Do you want to know something?” She asks.

You nibble on your lips before you nod your head.

“If someone doesn’t want you. It’s not because you’re lacking. It’s because they’re lacking the sense to perceive you in a way that recognises your inherent worth to be loved.”

Your breath hitches and Jennie continues.

“I’ve had instances where men didn’t want to sleep with me because I was too confident, too sexually liberated for them. As if who I slept with mattered because it wasn’t them. It was never going to be them.”

“I didn’t sleep with Jungkook.” You tell her, voice soft as if you needed to clarify.

“And you don’t need to. You don’t need to sleep with anyone for them to want you. If Jungkook only wants you for your body then he doesn’t deserve you.” She points out.

You feel your heart clench, and the realisation coming from Jennie only hurts even more.

“But he’s important to me …” You whisper.

“What’s important is not always what’s good for you.” She informs you with a gentle smile. “Your sexuality is yours. And if you want to sleep or be sexual with someone, you do it because you want to. Not because someone coerced you into doing it.”

Your eyes widened, “N-No. Jungkook didn’t force me. I consented. To all of it.” You murmur, “I wanted to do it. B-But I just felt so … lacking? In comparison and … since then all he’s came to me for was just … that.”

Jennie nibbles on her bottom lip, “Jungkook’s not a bad person.” She says softly. And she’s the second person that tells you that. So you know it’s a true reflection of his character.

“I know.”

She smiles, “We both do.” She nods, “But he’s misguided. He’s never had the ability to be with someone he really cares for and I think when that happened—he dealt with it the only way he knows how to.”

You furrow your brows, “But he’s with you.”

She shakes her head with a small chuckle, “No. Not emotionally, at least.” She informs. “And he doesn’t care about me. I know. He’s always kept me at arms-length away, and I’m fine with that because I don’t like him like that either.”

You blink, and your ears turn red. “H-How do you—?”

“How do I separate lust from affection?” She laughs. “It’s because I can. Not everyone can do that, and Jungkook is one of them.”

“But you just said that he didn’t care about you.”

“I’m not talking about me,” She smiles sadly.

Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion until you realise what she was implying. And you don’t want to assume anything, never. Because hope was the one feeling that was worse than fear and you didn’t want to subject yourself to that just yet.

“Oh.” You mumble.

She nods, squeezing your hand.

“I think he misses you.”

You purse your lips.

You missed him, too.

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