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whateverisbeautiful · 1 year

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Reveling in Richonne

#177: The Unstoppable Life (11x24)

Y’all, I can’t help it. I have got to revel in Richonne right quick. 😋 It hit me that we very much got a Richonne sequence at the end of the series finale and, as are the rules, if anything Richonne-related was recorded and released, I gots to analyze it. Even years later. The Richonne love never ends cuz they are the gift that keeps on giving. 💯

And boy were we blessed with Rick and Michonne’s first return to the franchise after years away. How absolutely perfect is it that this show ended on the two of them, Rick and Michonne’s impeccable unstoppable love, and their precious family! They’re the show’s heart and my heart, y’all.

There’s a lot to react to in their final moments of TWD so, finally, it’s time for more reveling. Because our lovely Richonne is back!! Won’t He Do It!

(Also I’m still extra years later when it comes to R&M so I thought I could do a brief reveling, especially since I’m rusty...but it still ended up being a 2-part dissertation 🫣🤗)

R&M’s return was every last thing and it was wonderful to see them be the final note of the series as they prepare to bless us ten times over in a spinoff show further dedicated to them and their love. Like this is legit what dreams are made of. 🤩

So to start, while I completely stopped watching TWD shortly after Michonne left, I returned to watch the series finale with hopes of one thing and one thing only - seeing the return of our king and queen.

And truly all it took was seeing them back on my screen for my brain to be consumed with this couple like old times. The hold they have on me lol. But how could you not adore the GOAT TV couple and this special love story that was incredible from beginning to “end.”

Just when it was looking like the finale was about to close with Daryl riding off to his spinoff, a single match was lit. 😏And y’all what a glorious match it was.

Finally, after years, we see him. Rick Grimes is back. And just the very first glimpse of his face had me rejoicing.

Rick’s face is lit by a fire as he looks down and writes fervently to someone. And learning who he’s writing to - it’s perfect and it only makes sense for Rick’s return to the show to be so focused on Michonne.

Then we see gorgeous Michonne also writing a letter by a fire.

And seeing both of them back, this was legit my reaction the second Michonne and Rick were on screen...

And I love that they both look goodT, with a capital T at the end. 🤩 Like they both age like fine wine, and I know Rick won’t know what to do with himself seeing Michonne’s stunning new look, and Michonne’s gonna love that her handsome man’s curls are back lol.

I also love the use of fire to tie Michonne and Rick’s final moments together. I’m sure there’s more eloquent symbolism to be drawn, but I just love the visual and the way it can feel like their actions (and their outfits) are still so in sync and aligned. They’re sharing this moment, even apart and in different time periods. And there’s so clearly a burning fire within them as well, as they continue to resolutely search and long for one another.

It also just reminded me of a time when they really were together by a fire in the s4 finale. How far we’ve come in their journey since then ☺️ and how wonderful it’ll be when they’re finally together again.

We start to hear bits and pieces of their letters, with Rick’s iconic voice beginning, “I think of the dead all the time,” as a montage plays of the many memorable characters throughout TWD. The first character shown is fittingly young Carl wearing the sheriff hat which is precious and emotional. 😭

Rick goes on to say he thinks about the living that he lost too, because he lost literally everyone when he was carted off on that helicopter. It’s so sad knowing it was all taken away from him so quickly without a single goodbye. But while he physically lost them, it’s clear they haven’t at all left his heart.

Then Michonne’s sweet voice reads her letter to Judith and RJ about how she tried to get back to them “again and again,” but she’s too far for the radio. I adore the many layers of Michonne, with her Mama Michonne side being one of my favorites, so I’m glad that was spotlighted in the finale.

Michonne then breaks my heart and warms it all at once when she states, “But I still got you and you got me. We’re connected. We’re still connected.” Y’all one thing about Danai, she never misses when it comes to perfectly delivering lines. Like sis makes the right choice every time in just how to capture the emotion behind the line.

As she speaks, we see sweet flashback moments between her, Judith, and RJ. And truly, what a testament to the power of Michonne that amid all the trauma and loss after losing Rick and Carl, she still gave her kids a good life filled with love and smiles.

The montage continues with more clips of past members of TF and one thing I noticed and appreciated is that the clips used for each character aren’t of them in action or being walker-slaying warriors, but rather quieter moments for each character, during times where the character might have most believed in hope and a future worth living. Such as Abraham looking at Maggie and Glenn’s sonogram.

I feel using these type of flashback scenes was a subtle way to further emphasize the show’s final message about life and the living prevailing. Even if some of them are not literally living, their legacy and impact lives on and it was the simple, familial, human moments of their life that they’re remembered by.

Rick says he thinks about them all everyday, which of course. Still the family man we know and love. I know some people were worried that after so many years Rick would be forced to move on or even start to have a foggy memory of his family, but that’s not Rick Grimes. I think even if Homeboy were to have literal amnesia he’d somehow still remember TF, and especially still remember and think about Michonne.

I love knowing that while he’s been away, he’s held those he loves so close to his heart nonstop. And as his letter will further confirm, he’s not just thought about them but been fueled to keep going by them, and most of all by Michonne.

Rick acknowledges how he thinks about what he learned from TF and how those in his life made him who he is, even more so than all the stuff he’s experienced while away. All these years away and still no one has been more impactful than the family he was taken from.

I love Michonne saying, “We’ll always be together. Even when we’re apart. We together are the strongest thing.” That sentiment is why she’s still so connected to Rick all this time.

And Michonne later shares the uplifting gospel truth, “We’re love. And love is endless. We are endless.” Amen.

I also love Rick acknowledging “all of our lives becoming one life,” because one; he still feels so one with his family and two; he and Michonne’s lives really did become one and then created a life in RJ. 🥹

So then we get to the best part of these flashbacks.

Because time-jump Rick finally looks up over the fire as if there’s one particular person he thinks of that most takes up his mind. One person whose memory he doesn’t just recall once or twice, but several times because he can’t stop thinking of her once he starts.

And we don’t have to guess who he’s thinking about, who’s fueling him, because four different flashbacks of Michonne then come on screen and y’all…perfection.

Very telling too that Rick and Michonne are the only ones to get four back to back flashbacks. It just so emphasizes their love, their importance, and them being the drive of this show and of each other’s lives.

I love that Rick also emphasizes, “We’re together. Pieces of a whole that just keep going for what we gave each other,” as we get Michonne flashbacks.

In Rick's mind, heart, and soul, he and Michonne are still together. They’re still one. Rick knows Michonne gave him the most valuable thing possible by giving him a love worth fighting for and a life worth living. That doesn’t die, regardless of distance.

I love the choice of Michonne flashbacks too. They’re all sweet and significant in their own way.

We first see Michonne arriving at the fence for her iconic entrance into Rick and TF’s life, which I still say is the most significant introduction between any two characters in TWD. It’s the unforgettable moment where R&M’s lives became intertwined and forever changed for the better.

Then it’s the always amazing s5 moment where Michonne places a comforting hand on Rick’s to ask if he’s ready to head into Alexandria for the first time. It’s pre-canon but still such a confirmation of how they’ve become partners that support, lean on, and encourage one another.

Then it’s Michonne smiling and looking like a glowing mother in s9 while painting with Judith during one of the most calm and domestic times she and Rick got to enjoy. It’s joyously casual moments like that one that I know Rick wanted to live out for years to come with his Grimes girls. Moments like that morning are why life was still so worth living.

And of course, there’s the special moment when Michonne and Rick first held hands over mints, where the rest was history and R&M never looked back nor held back their love for one another from then on.

Rick’s letter then just gets better and better y’all. Because then he starts to get specific. This is when it becomes clear this letter isn’t just to anyone in TF but to Michonne directly. 👌

He states, “One unstoppable life. You showed me that.”

And it’s just perfection and the utter truth. She really did show him that time and time again. It also reminds me of blessed 7x12 when Rick tells Michonne in the van how she led him. Rick always happily has taken to heart what Michonne says and shows him, and he still does here, miles and miles away This love story is something else, man. 🥹

I love that Rick and Michonne both believe so strongly that their resilient love is unstoppable and endless. It absolutely is.

After Michonne’s flashbacks, we see current-day Michonne finally looking up, also reflecting on the man that still has her whole heart.

And I especially love each of the four Rick flashbacks, especially one subtle s5 scene in particular that had me thrilled.

Fittingly, they pair Michonne and Rick’s first hand hold in 6x10 with their last hand hold in 9x03.

I love these hand holding visuals because it just illustrates how united they are and have always been. They’re always in it together, as both their letters reiterate.

We get Rick’s reaction to Michonne at the fence in s3, as he takes in the woman that will change his world and become the love of his life. It’ll forever be gold.

But then…y’all then!! The third Rick flashback is from season 5 where Rick is in his constable outfit and leaning against the wall. And y’all can I say why I love this!!

I immediately remembered this scene when I saw it return in the finale, and I knew this is when he’s staring at Michonne in her matching constable outfit.

This is a pre-canon moment but was still so clear that Rick had an attraction to his then-bestie, Michonne. And y’all this scene was during that one storyline-that-shall-not-be-named, so in my mind, using this scene in the final moments of TWD is just further confirmation that Michonne was always who Rick wanted. Always. 😌

And the final flashback of Rick, is him beaming up at Michonne during their romantic candle-lit dinner in the treasured 7x12 episode. The day he and her established they want the rest of their lives to be the two of them, “you and me.” And while a major curveball was thrown with Rick being taken, it’s clear they are still very much embarking on life the “you and me” way.

Seeing that whole Rick and Michonne sequence I was like ‘did we really just get a Richonne fan edit at the end of TWD?’ #Blessed. 🤭 I love that every single one of their flashback moments were Richonne-related. And like I noted earlier, a lot of these flashbacks are from when the characters were at some of their most alive, happy, hopeful, and human. So of course all Rick and Michonne’s flashback scenes were with each other.

The reading of the letters concludes with my favorite part, Rick saying “You gave me that.”

Y’all Rick is literally writing love letters to Michonne, telling her that she gave him life. 😭🥹🥰 Unstoppable life. #WeWon.

And his statement is truer than he even realizes. (I promise you my heart will soar to another dimension when Rick learns about and meets RJ, his son, and the life he created with Michonne, cementing their love is truly endless.)

Also I love how Rick is still trying to ensure that Michonne knows her impact. He did so right before he left in season 9 by thanking her for everything, and years later it’s still important to him that Michonne know all she’s given him. I love their never-ending love.

And y’all while that ends the little letter overlap part. There is still more to take in. So you know my extra self has to do a part 2. 😁

#richonne #finale #s11 #twd 11x24

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theolympusfiles · 3 years

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rereading the PJO and HoO - part one: the lightning thief

before i start, all italicized parts are from the lightning thief by rick riordan. they're not my words and these are not my characters. my thoughts are the only thing that are mine :)

• "mom, you're coming too." her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean. "no!" i shouted, you are coming with me. help me carry grover". - the first(ish) appearance of percy's fatal flaw! i love the early establisment, especially because it helps foreshadow to the sea of monsters when fatal flaws are formally introduced.

• "that's -" "pasiphae's son," my mother said. "i wish i'd known how badly they wanted to kill you." - sally is underappreciated. she's smart as hell and clearly took the time to research demigods. yes, she was a little bit selfish with keeping percy out of the loop and not sending him to camp. but can you blame her? she lost all of her family and if she sent percy to CHB at an early age, that most nearly means she won't see him often (he'll attract monsters because he's aware of his status as a demigod and will most likely be at camp full-time). but sally ensured that she knew enough about the demigod world to protect percy because she knew that her selfishness would come with consequences. best mom.

• i was crying, calling for my mother, but i held on to grover - i wasn't going to let him go. - percy's first loss as a demigod and i am broken. honestly, so sad to think of, especially knowing all the losses he'll face in the future books. this line is also his fatal flaw showing once again (refer to first bulletpoint)

• "it (america) is the great power of the west. and so olympus is here. and we are here." - if olympus follows the west, where would the next location be? obviously, america is still a big powerhouse in terms of western civilization but that's not going to last. my bet is south korea but who knows? would love a fanfic on this tbh

• "the truth is, i can't be dead. you see, eons ago the gods granted my wish. i could continue the work i loved. i could be a teacher of heroes as long as humanity needed me. i gained so much from that wish... and i gave up so much. but i'm still here, so i can only assume i'm still needed." - how will it be decided that he's not needed? honestly, can't imagine CHB without him but chiron also deserves retirement

• i started to understand luke's bitterness and how he seemed to resent his father, hermes so okay, maybe gods had important things to do. but couldn't they call once in a while, or thunder or something? - percy has always showed some hesitance when accepting the demigod world, so i wasn't really surprised to see doubts like this pop up, especially with luke's influence. i'd think most demigods feel this way, luke and percy are just the ones who exhibit it the most in the series. i'm really interested in the parallels between the two and i'm looking forward to reading more and examining them

• "during the winter solstice, at the last council of the gods, zeus and poseidon had an argument. the usual nonsense: 'mother rhea always liked you best', 'air disasters are more spectacular than sea disasters', etc. - despite the fact that the gods are all-powerful beings, i appreciate the petty sibling spats that are mentioned briefly

• "so let me get this straight," i said. "i'm supposed to go to the underworld and confront the world of the dead." "check," chiron said. "find the most powerful weapon in the universe." "check." "and get it back to olympus before the summer solstice in ten days." "that's about right." i looked at grover, who gulped down the ace of heaers. "did i mention that maine is very nice this time of year?" he asked weakly. - this would be perfect for those 30 second trailers

• "gee," i said feigning surprise. "who else would be stupid enough to volunteer for a q uest like this?" the air shimmered behind chiron. annabeth became visible, stuffing her yankees cap into her back pocket. - the way he knows her pretty well already, i-

• the truth was, i didn't care about retrieving zeus' lightning bolt, or saving the world, or even helping my father out of trouble. - early on, we see from the get go that percy has a dislike for the gods. it's small mentions like this that really gets me thinking. he never really showed any dislike of the gods when he first arrived at camp (understandable) but he was hopeful for his father. it wasn't until luke planted the seed into his head that these thoughts came to light. i love this little detail, especially as we know that towards the end, luke does seem to think he can turn percy against the gods. his plan backfired a little bit on him in the end but like i said before, the parallels between luke and percy are so glaring. riordan definitely thought it out extensively

• do not be a pawn of the olympians, my dear. you would be better off as a statue - this is said to percy by medusa and again, feeds into his dislike of the gods. i wonder if monsters have some opinion on this. most would probably hate the gods but i wonder what their stance is on demigods. we know that they work with them (see kronos' army). the real enemy for monsters are the gods, the demigods killing them are just pawns to the gods so maybe that's how some monsters see them

• "so, what's your status?" luke asked me. "chiron will be sorry he missed you." i told him pretty much everything, including my dreams. it felt so good to see him, to feel like i was back at camp even for a few minutes, that i didn't even realize how long i had talked to him until the beeper went off on the spray machine. - there's no doubt that percy really considered luke a friend. he wasn't hesitant to tell luke about his dreams, something that he didn't share with annabeth or grover until later on the book. luke was a sort of mentor to percy and it was conveyed pretty well through their interactions, which makes his betrayal even more heartbreaking

• "you think you'll ever try living with your dad again?" she wouldn't meet my eyes. "please. i'm not into self-inflicted pain." - my heart breaks for annabeth and her relationship with her father. i've read most of the riordanverse books and the growth in annabeth's relationship with her family is definitely something i'm looking forward to watch grow as i make my way through the books again

• i looked over at the desk and saw a girl sitting there, also wearing a straitjacket - so i never paid the dreams any mind but now that i think about it, they're really good for analysis. for example, the straitjacket could mean something like the gods are keeping them restrained. maybe i'm overthinking it or have been analyzing text too much in AP english but i think that the dreams are worth some deeper thinking

• i pretended not to see annabeth wipe a tear from her cheek as she listened to the mournful keening of cerberus in the distance, longing for his new friend - i need to see annabeth play with cerberus again D:

• i turned and faced my mother. i desperately wanted to sacrifice myself and the last pearl on her, but i knew what she would say. she would never allow it. i had to get the bolt back to olympus and tell zeus the truth. i had to stop the war. - percy's growth as a character really shines through here. the lightning thief is a pretty short book and the journey they took was less than 2 weeks but despite that percy's grown immensely as a character. his goal was always to save his mother but in the end, he sacrificed her because he knew it was his duty to save olympus and i respect that

• "you have made an enemy, godling," he told me. "you have sealed your fate. every time you raise your blade in battle, everytime you hope for success, you will feel my curse. beware, perseus jackson. beware." - ares cursed percy to be unsuccesful in battle but does his curse ever take effect? i don't recall any mention of this curse later on the series. obviously, percy is the main character and a really good swordfighter but the curse might have affected some battles right? but then again riordan has a lot of plotholes so i wouldn't put too much thought in it

• i knew dionysus must've filled it out, because he stubbornly insisted on getting my name wrong. - i've always accepted the fact that dionysus called the demigods by their wrong name for humor. but what if it's deeper? what if it's a way to put some space between him and the demigods, just as an extra precaution so he won't get attached. or it could be a ploy to showcase that he's more powerful than them and that they are beneath him, which is why he doesn't need to know their name. i like the former headcanon more though :P

• i opened my eyes. i was propped up in bed in the sickroom of the big house, my right hand bandaged like a club. argus stood guard in the corner. annabeth sat next to me, holding my nectar glass and dabbing a washcloth on my forehead. "here we are again," i said. - the parallel

well, that's everything i had notes on. overall, i liked rereading it. i really do miss this series and i'm finding my love for it be rekindled by rereading. i miss the humor of the early books (i could literally make a whole post of underrated lines). the last time i read the series in its whole was when i was 7 and now that i'm 16, i have more thoughts and can analyze the story better. also loved seeing baby percabeth as they're my OTP. i'm excited to continue with the series. to the sea of monsters!

#Percy Jackson and the Olympians #PJO #Pjato/hoo #reading #rereading #books #Greek Mythology #percy jackson #annabeth chase #luke castellan #Grover underwood #analysis #the lightning thief #pjo series

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teacherintransition · 3 years

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The Ugly American...who? Me?

My wife an I have become avid travelers and the closing of countries due to Covid-19 has hit us in the heart...

The time at home has given me chance to read about travel and given me pause to re-evaluate my behavior while abroad in the past and for the future...

The Ugly American, a novel written in the late 1950’s and which was a The New York Times Best Seller, was written by political scientist Eugene Burdick and writer and former U.S. Navy captain William Lederer. The book took a much needed look at the behavior of Americans traveling abroad; from the rugged backpacker hiking India to the field State Department personnel actually presenting the “official face” of our country in the international community. Prior to World War 1, most international travel by Americans was done by the wealthy elite among society. The “common” man through the tribulations of war, was given the opportunity to experience European culture and a yearning for seeing the world was fostered. If fact, there was a saying after WWI, “how you gonna keep Johnny on the farm after he’s seen Paree (Paris)?” The travel bug... wanderlust was born in the hearts of the middle class and gave rise to this phenomenon in film and in books written by Jack Kerouac, Cheryl Strayed, Ernest Hemingway up to contemporary writers like Anthony Bourdain, Andrew Sean Greer and Elizabeth Gilbert. Even Rick Steves who has become a knowledgeable source of traveling information with his travel guide series, has presented an informative open minded view of travel abroad.

All of these written treasures of traveling the world unveils to readers the magic that is to be found by stepping out your front door. The Ugly American presents a scathing look at how the “American” while overseas, displays an arrogant , intolerant, dismissive view of cultures far older and in many cases, more refined than ours. Burdick and Lederer’s book is set within the intrigues of international diplomacy and how that uniquely American view creates failure in the establishment of effective foreign policy. The authors listed and many more besides, instruct their readers to varying degrees to take more note of the intricate nuances a traveler should pay attention to and to show respect and admiration for the centuries of history and culture that exists all around us and that is not American. There is a common thread throughout all their works about what is missed when we stand outside and dismiss the uniqueness of every nation we might visit, instead of immersing oneself and appreciating it in a culture not our own. The “ugly American” has become a mythos of how Americans respond critically to anything that is not “MURICAN!”

Several other factors besides short sighted American foreign policy have contributed to the yoke placed on Americans traveling: cutthroat business practices while dealing with European, Asian and African countries; missionaries whose demonstrate a dismissive view of spiritual practices that have existed for millennia and, quite honestly, the behavior of tourists while abroad. Many experienced travelers draw a clear distinction between the tourist and the traveler. Kathryn Walsh differentiates the two in the following way:

Tourists

It's usually easy for locals to spot a tourist among them. A tourist may carry a camera, guidebook and map at all times and wear the same clothing he'd wear at home. Tourists tend to stay in their comfort zones a bit; they may speak only English instead of trying to learn phrases in the local language; stick to major cities instead of venturing to smaller towns or off-the-beaten-path locales; and stay in areas where the amenities are similar to what they have at home.

Travelers

Generally speaking, someone who considers himself a traveler will try to immerse himself in the local culture rather than standing out. If you're a traveler, you may try to explore the less-traveled areas and explore locations where tourism doesn't drive the economy. You'll interact with locals. Your goals for a trip will be to learn and experience new things, rather than to take a relaxing break from everyday life. A traveler may consider a trip a journey rather than a vacation.

The traveler presents a deferential, respectful and admiring view of the nations they are visiting and adopt the wise phrase from antiquity: “when in Rome do as the Romans.”

There is nothing wrong with being a tourist, often it is the less expensive approach to travel, unless you become the arrogant American tourist then perhaps you need to reassess. Travel is a big part of my retirement plans and goals, but you know what they say about the best laid plans. Two highly anticipated trips with two years involved in planning were rescheduled due to the Covid-19 pandemic, a disappointment we shared with thousands of tourists and travelers alike; and further postponements may continue to confront us. Perspective is needed in such a situation as being denied travel is far below other struggles this event has presented all of us. That being said, it has been a terrible disappointment down to my bones. We’ve missed much needed fellowship time with great friends, the excitement of seeing new places, the immersion in the culture and history of the locales, and, for me personally, our yearly travels have been my muse and inspiration for so much of my art. It’s akin to being very thirsty and having only a few drops to suffice. Introspection is the course of action when hopefully contemplating the possibility of the trips occurring.

To satiate the urge, we’ve read and watched travel programs in the interim and have evaluated our connection to the Ugly American concept? Are we ...them? In our past travels, have we appeared at all dismissive of the people and practices of the places we’ve visited? My wife and I have always been in awe of our travel destinations, so I feel fairly confident that we have not displayed the aforementioned arrogance of many American travelers. The thought that then arises is how much we have not allowed ourselves to be immersed in the culture; which, in the long run, is a detriment to us more than anyone. Our minds are open and willing to become part of the places we visit, but if we eliminate the brusque nature of so many Americans while overseas, what is the stumbling block that draws such distinctions when traveling? I fully concede that most Americans feel they have little to learn from many places on this planet, more is the pity, and there is much flawed thinking that goes into this mindset; but what fundamental differences exist between the cultures? I came across a very enlightening blog article written by Alain Veilell that was spot on in identifying the differences. Veilell simply observed that we run on different clocks. Not literal clocks but a “clock” obsessed with structure and deadline.... hello Americans! Veilell notes that Europeans start late and end late, while American and many Asian cultures start early and end early. Americans tend to view the un-regimented approach as being akin to laziness. I coached soccer and baseball for many years and many of my Latino players would not be as punctual as my other players. They were as talented and competitive, but their homes weren’t ruled by the seconds on a clock. Dinner started later, lasted longer, the dishes could wait... the priority was the quality of interaction with the people your with... ah, there it is ... sort of.

The average American meal last twenty minutes, while the average meal in Spain, for example, lasts two hours. They certainly don’t eat as much as Americans so why all the extra time? Why should time even be a factor so often? It’s the conversation and fellowship that is the priority not timing. While without question, the structured regimentation is a contributing factor to the American commitment to financial success, it also contributes to hypertension, stress, anxiety, depression and conflict that might be avoided with having an extra glass of wine and talking and not worrying if dinner is on schedule. Taking a little more time, enjoying the moment, letting serendipity reign may not be part and parcel of the Puritan work ethic; but it plays a helluva big part in realizing “La Dolce Vita.” This perception of time throws the rhythm off for many American tourists and makes us the ones to call the front desk complaining that the folks in room 210 are just too loud at 9:30 pm. The local population may just be getting ready to start dinner at that time. Remember, “when in Rome do as the Romans?”

While traveling, often American tourists view differences as a personal affront. “ I have to ask for ice?’ “What, no air conditioner?’ “They call the restroom the toilet?’ “Ugh how vulgar ... and a bidet? You must be kidding?” Truth to tell, Americans also suffer from mischaracterization from travelers from abroad as well. If I had a nickel for ever foreign exchange student who thought that all of Texas was a giant ranch with everyone riding horses and wearing cowboy hats. I think though that visitors to our country more often than not allow themselves to be pleasantly surprised than to have their feathers ruffled. It seems that we allow the “ours is better than yours” mentality to outweigh the magic of the unknown and the different. Every spiritual guiding ethos advocates living in the moment, treasure what is happening right now, greet the unknown with hope not hostility. The ugly American leaves no room for such an upbeat approach. Superiority mentality leave very little to treasure in this magnificent world other than what is yours and that limits learning, excitement, growth and just the pure joy that comes from trekking this world.

Is this assessment of mine a blanket judgement? No, not at all but there is some truth to it and there is something to be learned. As I self analyze, I found that I may harbor some of these traits and it’s good that I have time to stand back and look ...to learn. The worthy goal of being an affirming member of this global community is a purpose that I seek; and the rewards are far beyond just being intrinsic but rewards the cultures you visit with an admiration and respect they deserve. As these thoughts have been put down, it reignites the hopes that the planned journeys come to realization with the anticipation of more to follow. No more ugly Americans, British, Japanese or what have you, just eager travelers wanting to see and experience all that this world has to offer. Happy travels my friends.

Burdick, Eugene Lederer, William; The Ugly American ; Norton Publications; 1958

Veilel, Alain; “Why don’t Europeans Travel to Cancun?;” Quora; October 8, 2020

Walsh, Kathryn. "Differences Between a Tourist and a Traveller" traveltips.usatoday.com, https://traveltips.usatoday.com/differences-between-tourist-traveller-103756.html. 5 April 2021.

Photo from https://www.myheritage.com/

Photo from https://openlibrary.org/authors/OL13640A/Ernest_Hemingway

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psychoticparadox · 4 years

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Introduction

So here we go again... I can’t even begin to guess how many times I’ve tried to be consistent with my blogging, but here goes another attempt.

As I go through life, I witness changes in myself & my environment as a whole.. Experiences build me and mold me, etc. Hopefully I am evolving throughout this process, but life is a roller coaster and I’m somehow still hanging on.

So, let’s get into this introduction a bit more with an ABOUT ME, shall we?

I think a proper greeting is due, so....

HELLO THERE! *waves*

My name is Angel. I am a shy introvert that over-analyzes every damn thing. Its both a nightmare and some cases enjoyable; depending who appreciates it and/or encourages it...if that makes sense. Some people admire my deep over-analyzing to details and therefore it energizes me and makes life as a whole FUCKING AMAZING...and simply put; WORTH LIVING. I literally crave this and thrive on this. This is my drive and simply put; keeps my crazy ass going.

Others will throw up road blocks that cause me to literally CRASH... I just shut down and become isolated, too afraid to share my most inner desires, dreams, identity, etc. When I shut down, I literally go into psychosis and helplessly drown in my own head. Often times, I contemplate suicide, as I feel so lost and engulfed in darkness... surrounded by loneliness and severe depression/anxiety. My self worth is fucked during those moments as my drive is deprived from my surroundings.

I am a Cancer Crab Zodiac, but was suppose to be born as a Gemini. My mother was pregnant with me for 10 months vs the “normal” 9 months. So I tend to take on both zodiac characteristics which makes shit even more fucking complicating.

I went to college for (too fucking long) for Psychology, Nursing, Law, and Arts. My passion seems to mostly be future based as a whole with whatever my surroundings may be. This means I may be adaptable, but also skip around like an ADD fucktard.

Which brings me to my next “about me”; I studied Psychology due to my vast diagnosis. I have been diagnosed with the following..... *clears throat*.... oh wait, I’m typing....so um..... *cracks knuckles*.......

Schizophrenia, Bipolar 1, ADD, BPD, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, Narcolepsy, Cataplexy, OCD, Epilepsy, CPTSD, Aspergers, Legally Blind, Dyslexia ...the list just keeps going....

By now, I’m sure you’re thinking... “HOLY FUCK THIS CHICK IS NUTS”..... yes, yes I am, but it also helps me see the world so different at the same time, and helps me be more understanding. If I could explain it in a lump-sum, it helps me see the world in different shades of colors others may not see. I see many are misunderstood and therefore went into Psychology to help anyone else through their battles. I had to face most of my battles alone, in silence, and don’t want anyone else to feel how I did; alone. Its one of the worst fucking feelings there is, and I thrive in helping others problem solve, plan for the future, come up with a game plan, etc. I find the human mind so fascinating and just can’t help but gravitate to increasing my knowledge of it. Even though I already have my Doctorate's in Psychology, I still can’t get enough of the mechanics of how we operate as a whole, as no one person, no one illness, is the same. And I find that amazing. I am thinking of going back to school to get my PhD in NeuroPsychology, as this is only a few more years and will educate me further. This will allow me to study brain scans in a Psychologist way. Fucking neat right? Naw? Eh,,,,I’m odd. *grins*

People often think that because I am an INTJ (Introvert Intuition Thinking Judging) personality, that I lack feelings and emotions, when its completely the opposite. I am an empath and my crazy mind throws that into my own mess of more shit for me to over-analyze as well, so I tend to show my emotions in silent, or with those closest to me I trust. Around the “right people”, I am quite driven, nurturing, loving, protective, loyal, outgoing, etc. I realize I may come off as arrogant, and even seem to have narcissistic behaviors, due to being so shy and my illnesses, and severe CPTSD. I am usually pretty reserved at first, and mostly observe others and listen. Once I know how they ‘tick’, I then will open up pieces of myself I feel may be appropriate/acceptable. I try to give others inspiration and drive. If I feel a part of me will do them no good, I keep that piece of myself quiet. Sometimes its unavoidable and my moods/actions are uncontrollable, and I try to be as communicative about my situation as I can, but most of the time I am at war in my own head and can’t even communicate to my own damn self, so its even harder to push that communication to others during those times....then BOOM.....domino effect. They feel worse as well as me. So overall, I try to only talk if whatever I have to say will be of aid, not to just “fill the silence”. My head is so loud as it is, so it does make it harder to push through my own internal noise as well.

As humans, we are our own worst critics it seems. This can be both beneficial and chaotic...and in some cases, (such as mine), completely disabling. To use this to our benefit, we must use it as lessons vs criticism. We need to grow and learn from our own thoughts and actions, as well as others, and NOT be criticizing it. Its hard to do, but the more we feed each other supportive inspiration, the brighter each of our futures will be. See what others have passion in, and fuel the fuck outta it. When you fuel others, you will fuel yourself; trust me. We are all empaths to an extent. We feed off each other. Most of the time this is referred to as “energy” and “vibes”....but its true. Whatever you put out into the universe will always return back to you... so I always quote “Spread those good vibes, y’all!”

Now, if you’ve made it this far in my post, first let me just say THANK YOU. This means a lot to me. I felt (and still struggle with this to this day) of feeling invisible and secretly hated... so when anyone shows any interest in me, I light up.

So onward of the whole “about me” I suppose, as well as my intro to this blog.

I needed an outlet to pour my mind into, as well as help others connect to me in a deeper way since I struggle with communication. My mind will literally overflow with thoughts that need to be thrown up somewhere, so heres one place they’ll go. I also plan to vblog on YouTube. I am a streamer on Twitch as well. I am on Facebook, Instagram, Discord, and will spread into other social medias as I see fit.

I started streaming on Twitch October 27th, 2019. It changed my life in many ways. I started it to build a safe place community/family, and it has been amazing. I cannot be more thankful for our community family. I mostly do the “Just Chatting” feature on there, but stream game play from time to time, and multi-stream with others as well. I mostly focus on helping others with therapy chats for free & run on a ‘donation/subscription” basis.

I absolutely love music. I’m obsessed with Rick & Morty. I used to be obsessed over Pusheen, and as I still have a place for that adorable feline in my heart, the obsession kinda faded.

I love to game and favor adventure slash games and FPS mostly.

I enjoy drawing anime, even though I have no interest in watching it. Go figure.

I write poetry from time to time. I also make jewelry, paint, etc. I love to design; whether it be decorating, technology based, fashion related, WTF ever....LOL I see it as an artistic way to plan I suppose?

I am a very misunderstood individual and hope for understanding for myself, as well as others.

I will end this post there for now, and add on when the urge comes. I hope y’all stick around and enjoy my company.

~peace & love~

xoxo angel (^_^)

#intro #about me #aboutme #info #intj #streamer #twitch #mental health #twitch streamer

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madbunny1010 · 6 years

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“You see this character is super flawed but that’s what makes him so lovable because he’s witty and charasmatic even though he does bad things sometimes like sass tooo much-“

Being charasmatic and witty do not make you a flawed fucking person you rusty blender. You can’t just go “here’s a character who gets in trouble a lot but ITS OKAY HE TALKS HIS WAY OUTA TROUBLE ALOT TOO.” That just makes him fucking boring, if you wanna write flawed characters WRITE FLAWED REALISTIC CHARACTERS DAMN IT. Characters that actually have consequences for their actions, characters who possibly are self aware of the shitty things they do but have no way of stopping themselves cause it’s not just a fucking switch you flick on and off for the sake of situational irony and one liners. If you have a peice if shit character who has to grow and repent LET THEM GROW AND REALIZE THEMSELVES. Stop just giving them easy solutions to abstract consepts like self hate, depression and addictions.

Bojack Horseman, hates his parents and was abused by them all his life. Season one he avoids them even talking about them, season 2 he has to confront his mom but takes all his anger and internalized abuse out on his friends, loved ones and himself, season 3 he finally implodes on himself totally destroys most his relationships with his loved ones and the only people he really has who give a shit about him and has to learn that he is doing this all to himself and it’s not really anyone else’s problem he needs to own up to his actions, because his stupid bullshit gets someone killed, he gets scared and runs away again for the 3rd time, season 4 he finally gets what he wants he is completely all alone and suffering ALONE, he comes to realize that he hates being alone and he needs others because if he doesn’t have anyone around him he’s just going to destroy himself and he realizes he can’t keep being the cause of other people’s ruin. He finally gets the chance to tell his mother to go fuck herself and get that “oh so satisfying” moment and instead he offers her a soft dream to slip into because he finally has grown up enough through all the bullshit to realize even if she said sorry even if she took back everything she said or did or his father said and did, it wouldn’t change him magically. The only person who can change his outlook on life and change his actions is himself, and it’s heart breaking to watch him have to lie to his mother cause she’s sick and dying. It’s not unsatisfying cause he doesn’t get that moment to be angry, it’s touching to see that he’s finally ready to be a better person and maybe not forgive what they put him through as a child but move past it already.

Bojack is a amazing character who has a lot more depth then just mean spirited asshole. A lot of characters like him though are usually just shallow assholes, who either have it excused with their intelegence being very high or very low. Bojack also breaks that stereotype of “drunkard idiot” he is an alcoholic and a drug abuser but like it’s shown over and over how intelegent and sometimes damn sneaky he is. It’s a real portrayal of someone who has those mental health issues, he’s manipulative, depressed and just neurotic at times. Unfortunately that’s how people are but watching a character like Bojack be these things doesn’t make you lose hope it actually makes you root for them and go “wow I believe that he can be a better horse person.” Which in turn means a lot more and teaches a lot more then just showing smarmy super witty asshole, just crack a joke and walk away from a burning building. Bojack doesn’t get to walk away from that burning building he is actively in the building trying to find an escape route while also arguing with the person who built the fucking building and has a map. I’m not saying all shows should be like that it’s fine to have smarmy intelegent assholes on shows like Rick and Morty, Rick is a jackass who uses people and hates himself cause he has this false sense of self importants. He thinks he’s the smartest creature to ever exist and we’ve seen it destroy him and literally kill him over and over again. His entire character is to satire those assholes who think being smart=god like, but that’s cause it’s a comedy it’s not really meant to be analyzed and go “oh well rick did this so-“ like nah man, it’s just a dumb show about a really smart scientist who has self destructive tendencies and sometimes they sprinkle in some interesting story that just makes it even more satirical, it’s literally a show that is fucking laughing at itself!

But movies like Han Solo that have this perfect, witty man who is just so cunning so perfect at everything, that try and pass that off as a flaw? It’s just dumb it’s not at all what a flawed character is, a lot of movies and shows have characters like that they try to pass off as being interesting main characters and it’s like “OMG I’m so sick of seeing white straight male ‘struggle’ cause cute white or possibly Asian female gave him a boner and I guess also the world or what ever is in trouble. And he’s magically the chosen one....” like what are his flaws? Does he have a lisp? Is he an absolute coward who is afraid of heights? Is he disabled does he get a limb chopped off, DOES ANYTHING ACTUALLY MAKE HIM SUFFER OR HINDER HIM LONGER THEN 3 minutes. Being in “love” with girl you just met and then having her get kidnapped DOESNT MAKE YOU FLAWED, showing a tiny bit of emotion DOESNT MAKE YOU FLAWED, getting yourself into trouble cause you make a snide remark but then you fight your way out of the situation and shoot a buncha people DOESNT MAKE YOU FLAWED, and one last one having a family, having a wife/dog/child/grandmother/sister/FEMALE in your life who is murdered,raped,killed off screen, KILLED BECAUSE THE BAD GUY WANTS TO GET TO YOU?, or just dies with no real reason, DOESNT MAKE YOU FLLAAAAAWED. Might make you semi relatable because fuck yeah unfortunate things happen in life, but that doesn’t make you the perfect fucking bad ass hero a flawed character, I wouldn’t even really say losing a limb would make you flawed it more just makes you less “socially acceptable to be romaticly attracted too.” Usually really great flawed characters have personal problems like mental health issues, or complexes that they slowly learn to deal with over the course of their story, NO they don’t get rid of them completely but they learn to deal with them and be less self destructive, less abusive, they learn how to apologize for their past actions, and how to grow as people and respect themselves and others around them more.

Flawed characters don’t get fixed, they grow and learn. They over come, they conquer fears and squash out self doubt and self destructive tendencies. In the end of their stories they don’t have “perfect happy endings” in traditional means, they have nice “and then...” moments where you just know everything is gonna be alright for them.

#bojack horseman #rick and morty #mads wrote another essay.#character development #flawed characters

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